#zar

[evadwrites]

i have some thoughts on zar’s exit from the fandom & their decision to delete their fics and how the fandom is reacting to that. and the fandom is reacting horribly.

and the irony of it all! because, arguably, crimson rivers is what zar is most known for. crimson rivers, set in the hunger games universe, created by suzanne collins to criticize capitalism, the entertainment industry, and consumerism patterns of offered media and how it varies based on a social class. and zar’s work added so much nuance to what suzanne collins had written. zar had done an excellent job writing james, sirius, and regulus as victors and exploring their respective traumas when it comes to being in the public eye.

regulus (and james, too) constantly felt like he had no autonomy and no choice because he was thrust into the public light and pressured into doing exactly what was expected of him. and sirius? oh, sirius. sirius won his games and was made into this galaxy-sized celebrity by the hallows, expected to conform to every assumption made about him, to follow all the rules his new role as a mentor & a victor burdened him with. but most importantly—the hallows viewed sirius as nothing more than what he could offer to them. they looked at him and did not see the person.

zar wrote that, and tens-hundreds of thousands people read it and completely misunderstood. because zar wrote 865k words exploring how traumatizing it is to be made into an Image, to be stripped away of your autonomy for the sake of entertaining others. zar wrote that, only for the marauders fandom to do the exact same thing to them that the hallows did to sirius, to regulus, to james; to victors.

and that. that is fucking infuriating.

because, yes, zar is a brilliant writer, but first and foremost, zar is a person. and the way a large part of the fandom has been treating them is completely dehumanizing.

STOP saying “i respect/support zar’s decision but [insert a paragraph about how devastated you are and how you cannot stop crying]”.

STOP sharing the pdfs/epubs of his fics on literally all social media platforms when it’s the one thing zar explicitly asked people to not do.

STOP feeling entitled to the creative work that does not the fuck belong to you. STOP thinking that you have any right to demand anything from zar. STOP hiding emotional manipulation in-between words of illusory support and respect.

and to quote zar: for fuck’s sake, STOP calling them zeppazariel.

zeppazariel is a brilliant writer who was elevated within the fandom to a height so big that it hurts when you fall and crash, and the fandom pushed zar down. the marauders fandom made zar into a full-blown celebrity, but

zar is a person.

REMEMBER THAT.

[curi0uscreature]

* (Hollis voice) Sir another mysterious figure has entered the motherlobe can I go back on vacation

[lichqueenlibrarian]

Kirk why are you thinking so much about Spock bending over things.

[roadkill111]

”you’re hesitating, love.”

[soleil-black]

Crimson rivers characters are like

Remus "be gay, do crime" Lupin

Regulus "be gay, follow the rules mercilessly. Except, I make and execute the rules. Break them and I'm coming for your hand. Or life." Black

Sirius "I'm gay. Gay means fabulous, right?" Black

[wereallcrankshere]

My own feeling ab Zar removing his fics aside, I am truly baffled by how many people are shocked by this and seem to have no idea where this decision came from? As if they haven’t been trying to set boundaries and distance rn themselves from the fandom for months. Like did everyone miss all the posts asking people to stop putting him on a pedestal? The month long break he took in November? The fact that he stated that he was no longer going to publish wip bc of people’s entitlement? Like it seems like once a week I was witnessing Zar trying to set boundaries and watching people blatantly disregard him. It sucks, but this is a great lesson to everyone who consumes fic. We aren’t entitled to authors and fic authors are under no obligation to allow us access to them or their writing.

[welele]

[aspiring-artist-em]

Crimson Rivers, is it back? What now? Does that mean Zar is back?

So, like a normal, sane reader, when I get an AO3 notification, I immediately drop everything and check it out. In my little tiny brain filled with angst and smut, I was thinking that it was maybe a chapter being updated, or maybe someone I love replying to a comment I left about how their writing is so fantastic and giving them vivid descriptions of how I wish to burn it into my brain because how good it is. Turns out, that was not the case.

It was a fucking notification about Crimson Rivers being posted.

I sat on my bed, and just stared. My brain wasn’t working. I was halfway though a bag of chips that my dog really wanted and staring at an email that bizarrestars fucking posted Crimson Rivers.

And Best Friend’s Brother.

And Just Lovers.

And all of those fics I was dying to read were back. All the fics that had me frothing at the mouth with want and the insatiable urge to consume everything he put back out into the world. And so, I followed the link in my email and oh my god-

They were back.

All of them. 

Every single one of their fics was back up and I was fucking psyched because I have an AO3 account and I have access to it again. Me, along with many other fans of his works and readers in this fandom, texted friends and loved ones. We smiled and downloaded the files, swearing that we will never lose those works again. 

___

So, like a normal, sane author, when I get an AO3 notification, I immediately drop everything and check it out. In my little pea brain filled with ways to torture my readers and ways to get them off through my words, I was thinking that maybe someone had kindly left a kudos on my work, or maybe even comment on it. All my works are ongoing and to be honest, I was a little scared to open my email because what if it's a negative comment? What if it’s someone telling me that they hate me because I’m sick and twisted, writing the filth I do. What if it’s someone telling me that they hate how I made a certain character bisexual because in their mind, bisexual women can't also be attracted to women? What if it’s someone telling me that the trauma I write about is misrepresented and that I am an awful person for romanticizing it when I swear I’m not, when I know that I’m drawing from experience. What if it’s someone saying the aforementioned trauma is too dramatized, and that the way that I write it as something to be worked through, doesn’t fit their “one kiss and all the bad memories go away” narrative they have in their head. What if it’s someone telling me I should be ashamed, telling me that I am disgusting, telling me that I shouldn't write what I write even though I have hyperlinks embedded in my fics and even though I have additional warnings per chapter and even though I have so many tags the plot is given away. Turns out, that is not the case.

It was a fucking notification about Crimson Rivers being posted.

I sat on my bed, and just stared. My brain wasn’t working. I was halfway though a bag of chips that my dog really wanted and staring at an email that bizarrestars fucking posted Crimson Rivers.

And Best Friend’s Brother.

And Just Lovers.

And all of those fics people were dying to read were back. All the fics that had people online frothing at the mouth with want and the insatiable urge to consume everything he put back out into the world. And so, I followed the link in my email and

oh my god-

They were back.

All of them.

Every single one of their fics was back up and I was filled with fucking dread, because all I could focus on is how there’s a shiny new prongsfoot fic right there on the top of their page, the first thing people will see. All I could think about is how they talked about people not respecting their wishes with their fics  and how people on the internet are fucking relentless. All I could think about are the videos I will see with people complaining that they can’t read it because they don't have an AO3 account and people attacking them for the two chapter prongsfoot fic right there, and how people fucking idolized the guy, putting him on a pedestal and hailing him as the “best fanfic writer ever, right there along with misskingbean (who may or may not be Taylor swift (I swear, Taylor is NOT misskingbean))”All I could think about is the exit he, and MANY OTHER authors made because people got ahold of their work and were fucking rude about it. All I could think of is someone who was practically pushed off the internet for doing what he loves so well that people started hating when he wrote what he wanted to write, and how now, he’s back and honestly, it scares me a little bit because he didn’t deserve the hell people put him through.

___

Crimson rivers, is it back? What now? Does that mean Zar is back? Short answer, yes, yes, and yes. Long answer, yes but only if you have an AO3 account and ONLY IF people can be fucking nice this time around and maybe remember that zar is a fucking person with fucking feelings and something called a fucking mental health to take care of. Authors have feelings too, we aren’t some mindless fic generator. If you want that, go to chat gtp or some shit. We put our hearts and souls into our work and share it because we want to put it out there, not because we want to get bullied.

Now, I know what you're going to say, “oh, but I just really loved the guy, he was like the second coming of christ with his words like I just really wanted to read more because I loved him so much, like I forgot he was a human because I just loved him and a little love never hurt anyone.” 

But like, that’s also really fucking problematic and actually obsessive. Just think about it. Like this guy is a person and like, maybe you shouldn’t treat him like he is anything more OR ANYTHING LESS. Like honestly, he probably didn't start posting his work to gain fame, like this was probably really unexpected for him. AND EVEN IF HE DID, IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU GET TO TREAT HIM LIKE A FUCKING PRODUCT GOD DAMN. Like, this is a PERSON. Imagine if your best friend or little sibling came to you and was talking about people putting enormous pressure on them and being obsessed with everything they do and how they feel like they have to be perfect and please everyone because if they don't, they’ll get harassed online and like, it’s genuinely damaging their mental health. Like, imagine if that happened to you. What would you tell them? Well, hopefully, you would tell them that those people are fucking obsessed and that they need to take a break and maybe, just maybe remove the works so they could put their mind to rest, because that’s better than this. Like come on everyone, can’t you fucking see the problem with that? Idolization and bullying go hand in hand and the poor guy has been though enough. 

Also, remember, be kind to the guy and like, idk, treat him with fucking human decency? Don't deadname him maybe? Don't like, idolize him? Don't get mad when he writes what he wants to fucking write because you don't like it? And maybe like, respect his wishes? It should be pretty fucking simple tbh, but apparently it's a difficult task for some of you. He isn’t a fucking god and maybe like, before you comment, actually sit there and reflect on what you are going to say to him.

SO MAYBE, BEFORE YOU COMMENT SHIT, REMEMBER THAT ZAR’S, (and, for the record, every other author’s) MENTAL HEALTH IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN A 800K WORD STORY ABOUT DEAD WIZARDS. LIKE PLEASE, YOU CAN FUCKING LIVE WITHOUT ONE SPECIFIC FIC WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER FICS OUT THERE, AND SO MAYBE LIKE, REMEMBER TO RESPECT THE AUTHORS WHO WRITE YOUR STORIES.

MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, BEFORE YOU SAY SHIT, THINK ABOUT WHY HE FUCKING LEFT IN THE FIRST PLACE, DEAR GOD.

[querkynchaotic]

my thoughts about zar leaving : 

they had absolutely every right to leave and even if i understand that people will miss the fics a lot, we all need to remember that we’re all fucking humans. 

but i also have a thought for zar, not as a fanfic writer, but as a fan. like, they were a member of this fandom before they were a writer and put on a pedestal against their will. and now they’ve left the fandom, i cant help but be sad that they lost something that was supposed to be a found family / a comfort / friends all over the world. 

the marauders fandom literally saved me from having another very shitty school year, and yes, zar’s works had a lot to do with it so i’m very sad they were taken down. but after being devastated when i discovered the fics were gone, now i’m just glad they were here for me in the first place. i’m just glad i found them when i did. 

and despite all the shit that is currently happening, i still feel like the marauders fandom is the place where i can escape. and i am so grateful. 

and i hope zar finds this kind of fandom again. whether they write about it or not. whether they tell us or not. whether it’s the marauders fandom or not. i just hope that, behind their computer, away from our demanding eyes, they have found a 500k words fanfic that they can read in the middle of the night. 

because that’s what crimson rivers, best friend’s brother, just lovers and all the others were for me. a safe place to escape (even if they broke my heart to pieces, mind you)

so i hope they find that. 

sending love to everyone

and remember : tumblr is supposed to be different than the other very shitty social media. let’s not turn into twitter and flood everyone with puns and hate. let’s keep this about loving the same fictional characters <3

[inkivaarinensart]

Autistic to autistic communication, Wizard and Rogue edition. (Forehead bonks, so many forehead bonks)

[northlt03]

REREADING CRIMSON RIVERS BC I MISS HOW LIFE WAS

[unfinishedquestions]

LISTEN. all of you out there crying about zar taking his fics down. you. are. the. problem.

say it with me.

you

are

the

problem.

zar is a person. he’s a fucking person who’s been put on a pedestal so fucking high by this stupid fandom that he’s suffering because of it and all you care about is that his work is gone? disgusting.

he has always been so so clear on his boundaries and people go and push them and step over them again and again and expect nothing to happen? i hope you all finally fucking learn. i admire zar and his writing so much but what i admire the most is that he knows when enough is enough and this? this is it.

most of you complaining will know his works well. crimson rivers. the fic that builds on the ideas of capitalism and the negativity of being in the public eye. what irony that people read this fic and treat zar the exact same as the characters he writes about. do better.

we can all do better. as a fandom. fanfic writers are Not Paid for their work. they do it As A Hobby. i repeat. in their free time between school/work and any other commitments they have along with their social lives they write books for people to enjoy for free. and zar is obviously not enjoying that anymore so open your fucking eyes.

zar took HIS works down

HIS works that HE spent hours of his live writing and your turning to take that autonomy away from him.

i really hope that he’s doing alright and that he can more on from the shit this fandom has put him through. sure, i’d love to be able to read his fics again but i care so so much more about the person who wrote them and the damage that we have caused him.

and if your sharing the pdfs for his fics online shame on you. shame. on. you. he has explicitly said that is not at all something he wants. in fact it was pretty much the only thing he’s asked us not to do. are you going to sit there and tell me that you reading a fic from a fandom with thousands of other fics is more important that a real persons very real mental health? no. didn’t think so.

the fics are gone. go read a different one and fic your behaviour.

treat people like people.

fanfic authors are not robots and they owe you absolutely fuck all.

and for ever loving fucks sake listen to zar’s wishes

he’s a human. just like you.

[curi0uscreature]

* Original owner of Zar’s brain and the PN equivalent of Crocker. Only in my totally real PN2ish dlc

[lichqueenlibrarian]

McCoy I think is constantly prodding and poking at Jim and Spock makes a lot of sense when you realize that he is fighting a constant battle to keep his two best friends from succumbing to melancholia. He went on a huge rant to Zar for giving up when he could still do so much with his life, that he might not be a young man but he’s certainly old enough to be talking like he’s reached the end.

McCoy is going to drag everyone along into healthy fulfilling lives out of sheer vexation. If they’re bickering and teasing one another then they haven’t given up.

[marvelomadness06]

I have exams next week and I decided to reread crimson rivers instead of revising, and what

AND WHAT???

[enderxvi]

I’ve just seen that Zar has decided to take a break and leave the marauders fandom.

I feel so sad because, Crimson Rivers, Just Lovers, Best Friends Brother, and so many are gone 🥺

Some of the fics that have build this fandom are now gone it’s so unreal…

I wish Zar the best and hope he will take care of himself 💛