#he keeps having one devastating loss after another (this is before even getting fully into canon; pre-canon + 1st part) he barely has the

[catsaurofmagiccomedy]

I runned out of tags,, i will compile all of this and reblog it as text, i guess

Please put your logic in the tags I’m genuinely interested in this cause I’ve seen a few good takes already, even if I think something different.

Please remember that avatar and victim are two different things and while there are certainly overlaps in some instances mostly an avatar is a manifestation of a power that gains energy from feeding off of victims of the power that they belong to. They can still suffer from a power, but they aren’t it’s main prey, more of a mouth piece. Or living snare.

[doumadono]

Warnings: smut w/o plot, cunningulus, f!reader, squirting, fingering, alcohol use, voyeurism Synopsis: after the war, you and Shigaraki spend time together while the rest of the League prepares for the final mission. Excessive drinking leads to a moment of intimacy between you and Shigaraki, with him tasting your cunt for the first time. Unbeknownst to you, your boyfriend Touya unexpectedly returns early and witnesses the scene A/N: this piece was commissioned on my Ko-fi page by my beloved @shonen-brainrot - I'm sharing this fic with her consent. Thank you for commissioning me, baby! I hope you enjoy it! Friendly reminder to everyone else: my writing commissions are open :)

MASTERLIST KO-FI COMISSIONS: OPEN

You spent a mere three months as a member of the League of Villains, yet during that brief period, you actively contributed to planning the Paranormal Liberation War. Despite the apparent "loss," you understood that, among other things, you achieved a strategic victory. After exiting the stage with Tomura and his other allies, you needed to keep a low profile, and so you did. Leveraging your quirk, Speed Recovery, you became a highly valuable asset to Shigaraki, aiding in the recovery of his injured allies.

Amid this intense three months period, you cultivated an unexpected understanding with the most enigmatic figure in the organization — Dabi. Astonishingly, he turned out to be the long-lost son of the Number One hero, Endeavor. Before you fully grasped it, you found yourself low-key "dating" - an understated term for the intensity of the connection. It encompassed spending endless hours together, engaging in profound conversations, and gradually closing the physical distance between you two.

Yet, an undercurrent of unease lingered as you sensed Tomura's discontent. Was he possibly envious of someone as seemingly ordinary as yourself? The uncertainty hung in the air, casting a shadow over the dynamics within the group.

You devoted considerable time meticulously plotting the retribution, even as you witnessed Tomura's growing anger and frustration. Reassuring him, you affirmed the intricacy of his plans, confidently asserting that soon you would unveil a lesson for the heroes, showing them their rightful place.

After the devastating War, Tomura visibly bore the weight of stress, engrossed in devising his next set of plans.

One evening, while the others were away preparing for the final mission, you and Tomura remained at the hideout, sipping from a shared bottle of vodka. The conversation delved into the details of the plan and the sacrifices it would inevitably demand.

Tomura took a sip, his crimson eyes fixed on you. "This mission will change everything. Sacrifices are inevitable."

You nodded, the weight of the responsibility settling in. "Yeah, but it's necessary. For a better future."

He smirked, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "A better future, huh? How optimistic."

You chuckled, recognizing his penchant for cynicism. "Well, not everyone can be as optimistic as you, Tomura."

He leaned back, fingers tapping against the bottle. "Optimism won't save us. Practicality will."

You smirked, appreciating the contrast in your perspectives. "Practicality and a bit of optimism won't hurt."

Tomura scoffed, taking another sip. "You're incorrigible."

You raised an eyebrow. "Coming from you, that's a compliment."

He chuckled, the corners of his lips curling into a rare smile. "Maybe. But let's not get too sentimental. We have work to do."

As the night wore on, the shared bottle of vodka dwindled, leaving both you and Tomura with a growing sense of intoxication.

"Thanks for the refill," you slurred appreciatively, the alcohol already making its presence felt.

Tomura, seemingly affected by the spirits as well, mused, "Can't believe Dabi didn't teach you how to drink."

You chuckled, the room swaying slightly. "Guess he missed that lesson."

With a nonchalant shrug, Tomura rose, tossing the empty bottle effortlessly into the trash bin. He went to a nearby cabinet, retrieving another bottle of alcohol and two fresh glasses.

You protested, waving your hands, but he poured you another drink, raising an eyebrow. "How are things between you and our lovely Todoroki, by the way?"

The question struck a chord, and you frowned, feeling a bit uncomfortable at the sudden turn into personal territory. "Well, you know, complicated," you replied evasively, taking a sip to buy some time.

Tomura leaned back, swirling his drink, his gaze fixed on you. "Complicated, huh? Must be quite a story."

You sighed, the alcohol loosening your tongue. "Yeah, it is. But we manage."

He nodded, taking a thoughtful sip. "Managing is something, I guess."

You attempted to shift the conversation away from your relationship with Dabi, bringing up other topics, but Tomura proved relentless. With a cocky grin, he circled back to Dabi, probing for more details.

"Come on, spill it. I want to hear the juicy bits," he taunted, swirling his drink with an unsettling confidence.

Sighing, you relented a little. "It's not that interesting, Tomura. Just the usual ups and downs. Nothing to discuss."

He leaned in, a dark glint in his eyes. "Ups and downs, huh? Sounds like there's more to it."

You rolled your eyes, realizing that steering the conversation away from Dabi was an uphill battle. "Can we talk about something else, Tomura? There's a whole world out there."

He chuckled, his laughter carrying a sinister undertone. "The world can wait."

As the night wore on, Tomura's questions became more probing, his tone growing darker and more insistent. He seemed to revel in the discomfort he caused, savoring every tidbit you reluctantly shared about your tumultuous relationship. Tomura got up, the creaking floorboards announcing his movement as he paced around the room. He cast a sly glance in your direction, the dim light highlighting the eerie grin on his face. "You know," he began, still walking, "I always suspected there was more to Dabi. But Endeavor's son? Now, that's interesting."

You shifted uncomfortably, eyeing him as he continued to circle the room. "Yeah, surprising, right?"

He chuckled, a sinister edge to his voice. "Perfect, actually. Vengeance is a powerful motivator. It'll make him even more useful for our cause."

Tomura took a place beside you on a worn-out couch, his arm casually wrapping around your shoulders. He poured another drink, his dark eyes never leaving yours.

You gave a weak smile, feeling a little uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze. The tension heightened as his arm tightened around your shoulders, and he handed you the freshly poured drink.

"To unexpected alliances," he proposed, raising his glass.

You clinked yours against his, the liquid burning down your throat, the room spinning with a mix of alcohol and Tomura's ominous presence.

As Tomura poured another round, he seemed undeterred by the growing level of intoxication. The air was thick with the scent of alcohol.

In the midst of another casual conversation, Tomura, with an unsettling nonchalance, steered the dialogue back to Dabi. "Did he fuck you already?" he inquired abruptly, his tone cutting through the drunken haze that surrounded you.

Your cheeks flushed, and you visibly squirmed in discomfort at the unexpected and personal nature of the question. "It's none… None of your… Bussiness, Tomura," you hiccuped.

"Come on now, spill it. Did he or didn't he?" he pressed, a mocking grin playing on his lips.

You sighed, feeling the weight of the question. "Tomura, that's really none of your business…"

Tomura's grin widened, and he leaned back, seemingly pleased with your discomfort. "Sounds like a yes to me. Dabi's got taste, I'll give him that. Was he a gentleman, delicately tending to your needs, or more like a dog in heat, just claiming what's his?"

Your face burned hotter as you bit your lower lip, desperately downing the glass of vodka, and quickly covering your mouth after. "Something in between," you mumbled, your words slightly slurred.

Shigaraki chuckled darkly, throwing his head back. "Mmmm, I see. What a pity then. You deserve to be taken care of, baby. Such a little, pretty villain," he reached his gloved hand out and touched your cheek. The gloved touch sent shivers down your spine. "Did he eat your pussy?"

The nausea welled up inside you, and all you wanted was to escape to your tiny room and lie down. You nodded, managing a weak, "Yes," hoping it would satisfy Shigaraki and put an end to the uncomfortably intimate interrogation.

Tomura grinned, placing his glass on a tiny coffee table. He simply leaned in, crushing his lips onto yours without seeking your consent.

In your intoxicated state, attempts to push him away were feeble. His lips bore the flavor of vodka, but strangely, you found yourself not entirely opposed to the unexpected kiss. A part of you didn't mind what was happening at all, so you casually moved your lips against his in a dance influenced by the haze of alcohol.

Before you could fully comprehend the situation, his gloved hand, adorned with only two fingers covered by a black leather, slipped between your thighs and beneath the plain skirt you wore. His touch started at your thigh, skillfully massaging the soft flesh, while slowly ascending.

A gasp escaped your lips as a strange warmth began to build within your abdomen. You cursed yourself for reacting this way to your boss. You shouldn't be feeling like this; after all, you had a boyfriend. What would he think if he knew how Shigaraki's touch was affecting you? You blamed the intoxication for clouding your mind, and even if you desired to push Shigaraki away, you felt powerless; your hands seemed to weigh a ton.

Gloved fingers teased you through your panties, eliciting a gasp that escaped past your parted lips. You bit down on your lower lip, the sensations proving intoxicating, clouding the last remaining rationally-thinking parts of your brain.

As your head lolled back, resting against the back of the couch, Shigaraki licked the column of your neck. "Shhh, shhhh, it's okay. Ain't gonna hurt ya, sweetie. I just wanna make you feel good, like Dabi never did, I bet."

Shigaraki pushed the fabric of your panties aside, his touch careful as he rubbed against your folds, discovering they were already slick with your excitement. He grinned, licking his lips. "Look at you," he chuckled, hiccuping a little. "Mmm, already so wet for your boss. That's the attitude I like."

Shigaraki rose from the couch, a hiss escaping him as his pants grew uncomfortable, his dick tenting the fabric. He knelt down, parting your thighs, and took hold of the sides of your panties, skillfully tugging them down your legs until they were off completely. Bringing the garment to his nose, he sniffed it like a wild animal, licking the damp spot on the material and growling in anticipation. "Fuck," he muttered, his other hand palming himself through the fabric of his pants.

As the man licked a stripe along your slick folds, a loud whine escaped your lips, and you leaned back fully against the couch. Slowly, you brought your hand to your mouth, covering it as if to prevent all the moans from escaping. It felt so wrong, yet oh so right at the same time.

Shigaraki closed his lips around your clitoris, fervently sucking the swollen bud into his mouth. This left you writhing beneath him, moaning like a cheap whore you apparently were at that moment. His bare fingers, devoid of glove, expertly rubbed your entrance as Shigaraki continued to lap at your slick folds. The obscene noises he made filled the air, his head shaking left to right to increase the friction you sought with every roll of your hips, each movement trying to push your cunny further into his face.

"O-Oh, God…" you whimpered.

Shigaraki chuckled slightly before slipping his tongue into your entrance. It was the moment you arched your back, sliding one of your hands into his white hair, tugging it to bring his face and mouth closer to your heated core.

He skillfully fucked you with his tongue, his gloved fingers simultaneously massaging your clitoris, causing your wetness to spill all over his eager tongue. "Mhmmm," he grunted, still palming himself through his pants.

Lost in the throes of passion, neither of you heard the door opening. Little did you know that the rest of the League had returned to the hideout.

Dabi stood in the doorway leading to Shigaraki's office, his turquoise eyes wide open as he witnessed the scene unfolding before him — his boss, someone he had once considered a friend at some point, and his girl, getting laid.

Meanwhile, Shigaraki resumed lapping at your entrance, growling like an animal at your scent and taste. In contrast, you were already a moaning mess.

"I fucking love your little cunt," Shigaraki declared, kissing your swollen clitoris before returning to licking your dripping hole.

Dabi felt anger and jealousy building up within him, but he also sensed some primal desire. Casually closing the door, he walked over to the two of you, nonchalantly dipping down next to you on the couch. "Well, well, I see you two are having some fun, huh?" he growled.

It was then that you snapped your eyes open, instantly attempting to push Shigaraki off your pussy.

However, your boss simply looked at Dabi lazily, and after kissing your cunt, he straightened up, wiping his lips from your juices glistening there with the top of his palm. "Todoroki, you're back already."

Dabi scoffed. "What do you fucking think you're doing, Tomura?" Dabi growled, igniting a little blue flame on his left palm while his right one rested possessively on your knee.

"And what does it look like? I'm eating her cunny out," Shigaraki replied, a wry grin on his lips.

"She's fucking mine, and you're fucking aware of that," Dabi reminded.

Shigaraki chuckled darkly, waving his hand. "Oh, don't be such a dog in the manger. I didn't fuck her, yeah? Just licked her tiny cunt. That's not a fucking crime, is it?"

Dabi breathed angrily through his nose. "I can see you got fucking turned on just by her taste," he scoffed, glancing at the tent in Tomura's pants.

Shigaraki unselfconsciously palmed his dick, tilting his head to the side. "Can you blame me? Look at her, such a little naughty villainess we have here. And her taste is intoxicating."

Dabi scoffed again. "Imagine that I know, as I've fucked her many times already."

Tomura ran his bare fingers up and down your cunt. "Don't be angry at her, it's my fault. We got a little too wasted, and I kind of couldn't stop myself when I smelled her wetness," Shigaraki explained, pointing his chin at the coffee table and the empty bottle of alcohol and glasses.

Dabi shook his head in disapproval and reached his hand out, catching your chin between his index finger and thumb, tilting it so you faced him. "You're such a naughty whore, getting wet for him? Pathetic."

Your cheeks were still flushed. "S-sorry, Touya…" you whined pathetically.

Dabi looked into your half-opened eyes. He couldn't deny the twitch in his pants as he saw you so vulnerable and exposed. The idea of letting some other guy fuck you while he watched had always lingered in the dark corners of his twisted mind. Now, the opportunity presented itself. "You liked him licking your cunt, hmm?"

You bit at your knuckle, slowly nodding your head for yes.

Dabi sighed. "Fine. Make my girl cum," the scarred man ordered, looking at Shigaraki. "But don't you fucking dare to put your fucking, pathetic cock into her. That's exclusively mine privilege."

Shigaraki cocked his eyebrows, "Who do you think you are to boss me around, Dabi?"

Touya grinned nastily. "Seriously? Your cock already makes a damp spot in your pants, man. I know you want her. So give her what she wants. Make her fucking cum. Let her decide which one of us eats her pussy better. I'm sure she's gonna choose me."

"T-Touya, I.." you started, but your boyfriend placed his fingers on your lips, sealing them.

"Shut up and spread your legs wider like the good whore you are," he instructed.

You nodded hesitantly, following his words.

Shigaraki grunted, seeing your pussy spreading open just for him. He instantly dived between your legs, lapping at your folds again, making slurping noises and eating your cunt so intensely that the base of his nose nudged your swollen clitoris, making you whine.

Dabi watched the scene with a stoic expression attached to his scarred face. He reached one of his hands around your shoulders, bringing you closer to him so you rested your side against his chest. His other hand grabbed the hem of your skirt, hoisting it up your hips to provide himself with a better view of your drenched cunt and Shigaraki diving between your legs.

"You're such a needy whore," Dabi whispered into your ear, moving the arm he had wrapped around your shoulders to unbutton your shirt and fish out one of your breasts from the cup of your bra, fondling it gently. "So fucking wet. Look at the mess you made on this bastard's face."

You were whining, resting one elbow on Dabi's lap, moaning even louder as you felt his hardened cock making a bulge in his jeans.

Shigaraki slipped his gloved fingers into your cunt, massaging your inner walls.

Dabi grasped your chin and tilted your head, sloppily kissing your lips. Your tongues danced together.

Shigaraki spat down on your pussy, spreading his saliva all over your folds with his thumb. After that, he returned to sucking your clitoris while finger-fucking you.

You moaned in Dabi's mouth, breaking the kiss to bite your knuckle again as your thighs trembled after Tomura hit that super-sensitive, spongy spot deep within you. "Fuck…" you whispered, your eyes watering. "Holy shit."

Dabi chuckled darkly. "That's it, doll, let it go. Cum. I know you want to cum."

"Yes, d-daddy," you moaned and reached both hands to slip them in Tomura's messy hair, bringing his face closer to your dripping cunt to ride your orgasm all over his tongue and lips.

"Don't you fucking dare to stop licking her cunt. Stick your ugly tonuge out," Dabi instructed, and to his surprise, Shigaraki obeyed.

You grinded your pussy against you boss' flexed tongue, moaning louder and louder until your pussy clenched around his fingers, leaving you trembling all over your body, moaning and panting.

Of course, Dabi decided it was not enough, so he reached his hand down your body to gently rub your clitoris, only to spank it with his heated up fingers a few times.

You bucked your hips more until you squirted all over Shigaraki's face, moaning both their names as if it was the last prayer of your life; your runny juices covered your boss' chin, nose and lips, dripping down his cheek to his chest.

Shigaraki also panted and groaned, the damp stain on his crotch expanding, signaling he just came, too.

Dabi kissed your cheek, glancing down at Shigaraki. "Look at you, boss, getting so turned on by a mere woman. That's surprising," he rose from the couch, adjusting his hardened dick in his pants. "Now excuse me, I'm taking my girlfriend to my room so I can fuck her the way she likes the most," Todoroki easily scooped you up in his arms. "Oh, and thanks for preparing her for me. I appreciate that a lot."

[cosmicjoke]

Levi’s selfishness when it comes to Erwin is crucial to understanding his character arc, and understanding why Mikasa was able to break Ymir’s curse, and not Levi

Why do you think the story took every single opportunity they could to remind you everyone thought that Levi made the wrong decision by letting Erwin die? It was because it had to set up the contrast to Mikasa, who had the courage to do what was best for humanity, vs Levi who couldn’t bring himself to do what was best for everyone, instead he did what was best for him and Erwin.

You're an idiot.

It's pretty obvious that you can't think of any way to hold Mikasa up without putting Levi down, which shows that you don't actually understand Mikasa's character, or Levi's on any level. You're so determined to paint Mikasa as the one, true hero of AoT, that you clearly feel threatened any time someone even suggests that the other characters can also be called heroic. Specifically, you seem to get a bug crawling up your ass and dying each time I make a post talking about Levi's heroism, to the point you constantly have to send me these lame as fuck anon messages trying to "prove" that it's Mikasa who was the hero, and not Levi, constantly pitting them against one another when my posts talking about Levi's heroism have zero to do with Mikasa. And you know what? I think it's because you know, deep down, that it's actually Levi who most genuinely embodies that ideal.

Mikasa learned her selflessness from Levi. Mikasa spends fully 99% of the story doing everything she does in the hopes of her and Eren ending up together, and in the last moment, is finally able to let him go. Her entire drive for the majority of the story is one of self-interest. She wants to be with Eren, she's in love with him, which is why she follows him everywhere and lets him pull her and everyone else into unfavorable situations and still refuses to accept what a horrible person he is. It's because she has an idealized image of who he is in her head, because he saved her life when she was a child and at her lowest point. And so she keeps dreaming of running off with him and them having their happily ever after, and everyone else can get fucked in the process. It's also why it's specifically Mikasa that has to break the curse of Ymir. It has nothing to do with her having some special ability to make the selfless choice when Levi can't, it's to do with her relationship with Eren being a distinct parallel to Ymir's relationship with Fritz. Mikasa has to learn to let go of her selfish dream in order to help save humanity, and that's what inspires Ymir to let go of her dream, too. Being with Eren is Mikasa's one, true desire, just like being with Fritz was Ymir's one, true desire, and why the Titan curse continued on through thousands of years. Mikasa learning to accept that Eren was a bad person and wasn't ever going to put her before his own, selfish desires, and that her dream of him returning her love was never going to come true, is what allows Ymir to realize and accept the same about Fritz.

That you don't see how Levi letting Erwin go, or how in watching Levi make that decision, Mikasa was able to learn to let go too, shows that you need to go back to school and work on your media literacy. If anything, it's Mikasa learning to let go from Levi that's then paralleled by Ymir learning in turn to let go from Mikasa.

And how the fuck was letting Erwin die "best for Levi", when, as I've spoken about innumerable times, it left Levi without any sense of direction and bereft of certainty as to his own role in their fight? Levi depended on Erwin to direct him, and guide his strength, and Levi willingly gave that up for the sake of Erwin's own sanity. Again, if you had any concept of who Levi actually is as a character, and what actually drives him, his desire to help people and use his strength to that end, you would understand why that loss was so devastating to him and why it had such a negative impact on him going forward. If you think that's selfish, then you've got a seriously warped definition of the word.

Your entire argument also hinges on the false conceit that Levi made the "wrong choice" by letting Erwin die, which he didn't, and I won't bother wasting my time trying to explain to you why, as I've gone over this so many times already and in painstaking detail. To put it briefly, though, again, the themes of AoT and actually understanding them depends entirely on understanding why the choice Levi made was in fact the correct one. Giving up ones humanity for any cause isn't meant to be seen as a good thing. There can be no "greater good" if in the process of bringing it to fruition, we lose sight of what makes us human to begin with. Floch is a good example of what it looks like when we lose our humanity to ideology. Zeke is another good example. Mikasa didn't have to give up her humanity in order to save humanity, she just had to give up the person she loved. She just had to give up on a personal dream. We see Levi's humanity and compassion toward others again and again throughout the story, because within the context of the story, he's meant to represent this idea of retaining ones humanity and empathy in the face of cruelty and against ideological pursuits. He's never able to become a monster, and he isn't willing to let anyone else become one either, and that's a good thing. It's heroic. It shows how much Levi actually believes in humanity's worth. And, ultimately, it's the one and only thing that will actually save humanity itself. It's what's best for humanity. Holding onto and refusing to give up the thing that makes us human. That's what Armin talks about in the end with Eren, and why we see his despair at Eren's decision to destroy humanity while fully understanding it would solve nothing and only perpetuate the cycle of hate. If we lose sight of our humanity, of our compassion, no matter the cause, then ultimately there won't be any humanity left to fight for. Ultimately, that's what leads to humanity's destruction, also laid out in the final pages of AoT, when we see Paradis destroyed and the implication of the Titan curse starting all over.

Also, you don't seem to be able to differentiate between objective reality and the unreliable narration of certain characters. Just because Hange, Armin and Floch think Levi made the wrong choice doesn't mean he did. Each of their individual characters are suffering from their own, inherent biases and insecurities and faults which drive them to view Levi's choice as the wrong one. Understanding that, though, would require you to actually pay attention to each character and their personal arcs and traits and to understand what drives them. In reality, the choice Levi made was correct, which is exactly why Levi doesn't regret it, as he clearly states in the end.

Again, Mikasa was needed to break Ymir's curse because her love of Eren was intrinsically tied to and paralleled Ymir's love of King Fritz. Levi didn't love Erwin in the same way, he wasn't in love with him, and he wasn't blindly loyal to him or blind to his faults the way Mikasa was with Eren, or Ymir was with Fritz, and so it would have made zero thematic sense for Levi to the be the one to break Ymir's curse by forcing Erwin back into the role of Commander. Levi's relationship with Erwin has little to no resemblance to Mikasa's with Eren's, and so Levi sacrificing Erwin's humanity and well-being for an ideological cause wouldn't have had any impact on Ymir whatsoever. Ymir specifically looked into Mikasa's thoughts because she saw in Mikasa a kindred spirit, her obsessive love for Eren reminding Ymir of her obsessive love for Fritz. Mikasa was willing to sacrifice everything for Eren and wouldn't, up until the very end of the story, have ever sacrificed Eren for anything or anyone else. Levi, meanwhile, is shown clearly and without hesitation, being willing to sacrifice Erwin for the cause of humanity two, separate times leading up to his ultimate choice on that rooftop. Levi had no such issues letting Erwin die for humanity. Because Levi and his relationship with Erwin shared no such similarity with Ymir, and so whether he'd given Erwin the serum or not would have had no bearing on anything to do with the curse. But this is what comes of idiots believing eruri is canon, I guess. No "contrast" was required between Levi's choice and Mikasa's. Mikasa's selfishness is clear throughout the story, her obsession with Eren on full display from beginning to end, and that's contrast enough for the audience to understand the weight of her sacrifice in taking Eren's life. Beyond that, there is no contrast between Levi's choice and Mikasa's, but only a parallel, because both choices reflect one another. Both are equally selfless. Levi's sacrifice is foreshadowing for Mikasa's. It lays the groundwork for Mikasa learning to put others before herself. In being able to find her own compassion and empathy beyond her self-interest.

You seriously need to get over your inability to accept characters other than Mikasa as heroic, because you just make yourself look like a clown each time you open your mouth on this topic. If Mikasa was really as great and selfless and the one, true hero of AoT as you want to force everyone to accept she is, then you wouldn't need to shit on Levi to do it, or keep making your pathetic and obvious attempts to downplay his heroism and sacrifices in order to make Mikasa's own look good or better.

Mikasa was a hero in the end. Levi was a hero from beginning to end.

[thelioncourts]

You’re definitely right they can remove some of the useless love interests but even if you do the stories are still about Lestat. Louis would just be there to offer support or whatever but he has no arc or character development in these books after TVL. That’s why it’s impossible to keep him a main character with these book storylines cause even if he’s there in every scene he wouldn’t be doing anything.

So I totally get why people would rather he just leave the show than be used as set dressing for lestat.

But I don't think they're going to just do book storylines??? Like??? They've not done book storylines as they're written thus far, so why would that be subject to change???

I'm sorry, I'm not meaning to come across as short or anything, but I have 11 asks in my inbox all about this right now and I don't have answers and don't really know why people are coming to me.

As I've said in previous asks, I have said most of what I can and have to say on the matter.

As a Louis-fan, I get where everyone is coming from, I truly truly truly do. Knowing his fate in the books, regarding material, is enough to have us all on edge, so please don't take this as something it's not, I just --

The show has already given Louis so much more than what Anne ever did. Not even talking about what the change of time period and race adds to him as a character, we have a fully fleshed out development of him as an individual, as well as him and Lestat as a couple and as parents to Claudia.

Show!Louis has this family that we learn so much about, at least in comparison to the book. In the book, we know Paul, and we know Paul because he's the catalyst for Louis. It's similar here, only we get Grace and we get Florence and we get Paul and we get Louis' relationship with each other these characters. We know that Paul and Louis were extremely close. Paul could come preaching at Louis' establishments in Storyville, causing scenes and making trouble for Louis, and Louis could threaten him and pull a knife on him and the next day they could be sitting at the breakfast table, bitching to each other like any set of siblings when telling on the other to mom. We know that Florence has insane expectations riding on Louis' shoulders and that the death of Paul was a catalyst for her too, no doubt since it's very obvious the entire family knew of Louis' queerness before Lestat even came around, but it was a thing they didn't talk about, and then he goes and moves in with Lestat anyway. We know that he and Grace are close, that he was the first person to know of her pregnancy (via vampirism), that they drifted immensely in his fear of himself as a vampire. We know that the loss of that family for Louis was the reason for so much of his pain, for so much of his struggles with vampirism as a whole.

We know that Louis is a businessman, and a good one too, and he likes it. Sure, he didn't like all the racist shitbags he had to deal with, but he was better than all of them and they knew it and he liked that. He was ruthless in his business, strong and fierce and proud, and the loss of the Azalea, the race-war waged against the black population of New Orleans, was yet another source of devastation.

We know, as a parent, Louis is smothering sometimes, motherhenning Claudia to the point that she had to learn how to shut him out of her head. We know, as a parent, Louis is softer, to the point of fault at times, but that he also gives in to her whims, drinking human blood again when she points out that his criticism of hers and Lestat's eating habits make her feel poorly. We know, as a parent, he watched her go out to hunt on her own proudly, like a parent watching their kid go drive to a friend's house for the first time.

We know, as a lover, Louis is spoiled by his husband. "How can I say no to you?" followed by Louis' most pleased, beautiful smile. We know, as a lover, Louis can look at his husband like he hung the damn moon that guides their nightly hunts. We know, as a lover, Louis can be argumentative, assured that he is right and not afraid to tell Lestat so. We know, as a lover, Louis will smile brilliantly at his husband as they sneak around in coffin together, acting like damn teenagers in love. We know, as a lover, Louis, for all his issues with Lestat, loves him tremendously so, to the point that their hearts sync up and that, when Lestat is lying there, "dead," Louis cradles his body to his chest and screams his agony.

None of this is in the books.

It's all made by the writers of the show. And, as of now, the writers have yet to disappoint me with their writing of Louis. So until that moment comes, I'm going to be optimistic because 1) they've yet to prove me wrong and 2) if I'm not optimistic, what am I really sticking around for then? I don't want to stick around and be miserable at the thought of something all the time.

[catsaurofmagiccomedy]

I got a little to silly last night and wrote a veritable essay underneath this post here, I decided to make it its own post,, everyone give it up for this little guy about how the Fears from tma would interact with our punching bag of a little guy Arthur Malevolent:

First: Dual avatar of the hunt & stranger.

hunt: He's always chasing something. Whenever he's up and awake he's moving towards something and when he finishes? He INMIDEATELY starts chasing something else he's could be defined like the hunt ritual: “The Everchase” never stopping, always something else to get to.

stranger: He's so uncanny. He's always talking to himself, he always looks at you slightly off, every person that encounters him casually ends up seeing something strange about him! All of those chats w John while in cabs? You can bet the drivers were creeped right the fuck off about him! And that definetly feeds the stranger.

Second: The eye and the web “are fond” of him.

web: He's so good at manipulating people! If he wasn't so insistent on pursing people & goals like he does, he definetly would've been snatched as a web avatar! (Similar to what happened to martin) I don't think he could voluntarily be an avatar of it simply bc he would refuse to be puppettered by the mother and all of her avatars are, he prefers to resolve his problems by chasing & violence (sidenote: not a slaughter avatar bc his violence is NOT sudden and spontaneous nor is it unmotivated or unpredictable)

eye: I mean? Our boy is SET on adquiring some knowledge even if it could potentially or definetly hurt him or even those around him! What's more eye than that? (that was literally what led Jon to fully become The Archivist, if Arthur's eyes were still his own he would've been an eye avatar for sure)

Third: Victim of the dark, the desolation, obvs touched by the spiral & the end, maybe the buried, the corruption, the slaughter and the flesh

dark: He does no longer have his eyes, all he can see is darkness and he hates it! It would be so easy for him to get fed to the dark, especially bc he KNOWS there are monsters that go bump in the dark and people out to get him his fears are not a “maybe” they are a “when”.

desolation: my man has been taking L after L, I mean He keeps having one devastating loss after another (this is before even getting fully into canon, pre-canon + part 1), he barely has the time to get all of his pieces and glue them back together before another tragedy or accident decks him in the face (his parents, then bella, then faroe, then parker), his life is loss and recovering from it, only to get pushed back into it the second he is even remotely back up and his persons lead me to:

corruption: His relationships man, they are a lil messed up! He could so so easily get consumed by what loves him and tells him he's a home. His parents can't love him anymore, they're dead. Bella never loved him, he never loved her they only married bc she was pregnant! He loved Faroe so so much, but he lost her because of his own actions. And Parker got him out of the (metaphorical) pit he was in, he clung to him as a life boat & he was still alive bc of Parker and Parker alone at that point. He's also dead. Now he has John; they bicker and they tear eachother apart, they hurt the other so deeply but they cant separate because the alternative is so much worse (even if John got a body they would still be so codependent of each other; their souls are interwined after all). You could argue he's already a home for what loves him. After all isn't he a home for John?

buried: man has been thru: 1) a loveless marriage; 2) the pit (non-metaphorical) (Probably also financial problems lbr, he was a compositor, i don't think they payed him much for his services, but I don't know shit abt it so mountain of salt on this one). I would not be surprised if all of his life he felt trapped in some way or another.

slaughter: I believe that after every gory and bloody thing he has gone through he has gained a mark by percistence, also his deal with Kayne would deninetly leave him a mark if he didn't have one up until that point (bc Kayne is without a doubt an agent of the slaughter, idk if an avatar or a manifestation distortion style but that mf is Slaughter through and through), he definely feeds the slaughter with his fear, at this point he expects violence at every turning point.

flesh: man. So, the cannibalism, huh? The losing parts of himself, eh? Maybe the second one is a lil bit flimsy but by god the cannibalism, at what point did he started seeing Mr. Faust as meat, do you think before or after killing him? I mean, we know he was starving, would it really take much to believe that he had already decided on eating him while he was still alive? Also, man, his body has gotten so fucked up, I don't really have a point with this last part just, he's really been thru the grinder.

spiral: He's been thru the horrors, he has had two different pieces of a god of madness inside him and is currently using one of them as his concience and better half, I don't believe much explanation is required here.

end: Our pathetic little guy has been dead! That is enough for a Terminus mark but he has gone to great efforts for his mark to be constantly renewed! He has: Died fr (And got brought back)! Almost died, resulting in a coma! He gets on a good streak of not getting to the "by the skin of his teeth" side of surviving during the dreamlands arc, surprisingly (he was in peril but not on the "How tf are you still alive" scale), until the near end, where he: almost died by cutting his throat as a last resort to try and save John! And then he almost died again! He was saved tho! So I feel confident on him being touched by the end, he is however not an avatar as avatars of terminus have accepted their eventual deaths and are significantly less proactive than Arthur, they much rather wait, after all It Comes For All!

So John, eh? Might as well. Some bonuses:

Fourth: Dual avatar of the eye and the spiral.

eye: He's Arthur's eyes! He's not only doomed by the narrative and an unreliable narrator, he's the narrative itself! We know what he tells us, he feeds us and Arthur their surroundings, he is the one that manages the knowledge, we don't know things he chooses not to tell us (be it out of hidding them or out of thinking them irrelevant, the result at the end is similar enough)! John is fundamentally entretwained with knowledge, the concept of eyes and he definetly sees and has to describe horrible things he would much rather prefer not to. Also him seeing the death when he touches a corpse? Absolutely goes in the "avatar of the beholding" evidence pile, additionally Arthur is quite lacking privacy due to John's precence! That is in fact another mark for the tally!

spiral: Bby boy is a fragment of a god of madness! That alone would qualifies him! But he is also responsible for Arthur's perception of reality, that is a big, big spiral thing! To be the lens through which a person perceives things is kind of a thing for this Fear, as are eldrich incomprehensible entities (like he is) and his behavior at the very beginning (manipulating Arthur by pretending to be his friend and having his best interests in mind [you may think that this is a web thing, it is in fact a certified spiral avatar behavior as demostrated by Helen Distortion on the 5th season!]).

Fifth: Victim of the dark and the web, touched by the slaughter and just a tinsy little bit by both the desolation and the lonely.

dark: His time on the dark world has fucked him up, Big time! Our boy would love night lights! He is always afraid of going back there and thus is afraid of the dark in general, Arthur's coma was awful for him! You better believe he is always giving th dark fear snacks!

web: He barely has bodily autonomy, his decitions and opinions can be at any moment be ignored with minimal consecuences if Arthur so decided, he has no choice but go along with whatever Arthur ultimatly decides (while this may also sound like the buried, it is my belief that: No, Thanks! Okay for real now I feel like the buried is less about choices than the web is, in the buried you do not get the courtesy of your choices being ignored you are never, from the start, allowed to even make one, because the situation you are in is one out of your control, meanwhile in the web your choices are taken into account and ignored, used to further harm you or used to subtely guide you towards the desired outcome), John is, in this, very similar to how the kids on Hilltop Road were, he has to go through the motions of whatever that which is guiding him wants, unable to truly affect things past a certain point.

slaughter: Dear Johny boy has this mak for all the same reasons that Arthur does, plus all the pre-Arthur atrocities he has assured us he commited!

desolation+lonely combo wombo: So, what do you think happens when you are an entity that only one person hears in their head when you lose that person? You are now a meal combo for the one alone and the torturing flame to share, of course! With no one with whom to share your hurt with you are alone, you devastatingly have lost the only person you have. You are alone and desolate. So I think it's not a strech to understand why the month of the coma was shit for John, now, imagine if it happened now!

Resume time!

Arthur is an avatar of the hunt & the stranger, he is favored by the web & the eye. He is a victim for the dark & the desolation and has been marked by: the corruption, the buried, the flesh, the slaughter, the spiral & the end. He has a [12/14] and could be starting the next successful Everchase or Unknowing if he gets marked by: the lonely & the vast! (That's worring especially given that the lonely one is just a disappeared or amnesiac John away and the vast one is just a matter of time given the eldrich monstrosities).

John in an avatar of the eye & the spiral, a victim for the dark & the web and has been marked by: the slaughter & the devastation + the lonely combo. He has just half with a [7/14] and could start the next successful Watcher's Crown or Great Twisting if he gets marked by: the buried, the corruption, the end, the flesh, the hunt, the stranger & the vast! (This situation can be neglected! He is not going to get all of them exceedingly quickly, nothing to worry right now as there is nothing out of the ordinary for someone in his situation! [surrounded by the horrors while having once been part of a horror yourself]).

[chickenmetenders]

assorted twitter threads

I wanted to archive some of my MAMIYA headcannon/au threads from twitter! Just in case, like, twitter decides to collapse or something. EXTREMELY Natsume/Mamiya-centric. Some of these were made before DDD came out. Spoilers for DDD!

Soulmates AU (October 2021)

i don't like soulmates au much but the idea of natsume dying without finding his soulmate but then finding out post-df that it's . mamiya. i might die o(-<

i don't know what does on in DDD but i'm just gonna sayyy yumehisa's scarf gets ripped off during a fight and natsume sees a matching soulmark on yumehisa's neck . i think this works

btw i looked kkrtn's latest fanbox and i am no longer alive. me typing this rn is just inertia. my soul has departed this world [editing note: the fanbox post i was losing my mind over turned out to be one of the EX cgs]

Natsume was looking forward to meeting his soulmate, and when he become a spectator he felt devastated that he wouldn't be able to meet them. As he helped his friends in df, he held out hope his soulmate was out there somewhere & the thought comforted him as much as his friends

But then he sees a mark that matches his own exactly on his worst enemy, and suddenly he has to question the nature of soulmates.... Something like that!!

Typically spectators keep their soulmate marks after death (it is a SOUL mark after all), but because of the loss of memories, they don't tend to remember or dwell too much on soulmates. Natsume remembers so he's more attached to his mark than is typical

Keito and ryou are soulmates

Haruki and minato are not soulmates--their soulmates are mayuri and touma 🥴🥴

[editing note: at the time i had them paired haruki-mayuri and minato-touma, but thinking about it now, i think haruki-touma and minato-mayuri could work too! haruki and touma having a familial soulbond would make their falling out hurt so much more... mayuri's betrayal would have similar effects on minato]

Samejima does not have a soul mark

Arisugawa... probably his soulmate is ryou's mom (puts my face in my hands)

Am just realizing mamiya has his neck obscured in all his forms, which works perfectly for this soulmate au bc even if what he looks like changes, yumehisa's soul is still the same = whatever form he takes, his soulmark is still on his neck

Mundane AU (September 2021)

imagining mamiya "everyone's safe" au where natsume and yumehisa go on horrible dates that keep ending in someone almost dying

(they are not dates. natsume is just sus of yumehisa and follows him around to keep an eye on him, and yumehisa keeps play-flirting with natsume to annoy him into leaving)

a nebulous au where natsume/ryou/minato go to one school, yumehisa/touma/mayuri go to another, and keito attends a third. "how does haruki factor into this" oh fuck oh shit-- um he's a second year at keito's school

shuffling between "minato and yumehisa are twins who go to different schools" and "minato (2nd year) and yumehisa (3rd year) are completely unrelated strangers" [editing note: WELL, I KNOW WHICH ONE I'D GO WITH NOW]

Samejima and arisugawa both work at yumehisa/mayuri/touma's school (as teachers or staff? idk). Keito's dad also works there as a teacher which is how keito and samejima know each other

The school's color is pink!! Keito's lacrosse team has played against them before & the team likes to refer to them as "that pink school", so keito tends to call it that as well. Haruki picks up the habit bc it pisses touma off & it ends up catching on within their friend group

Haruki & keito met through humorous circumstances i have not yet fully developed, but the important bit is that they continue being friends & hanging out because haruki is concerned his kouhai is gonna die or join a pyramid scam if he leaves keito on his own

Otaku AU (October 2021)

Natsume & Mamiya met online on an anime discussion forum and became good friends. Then they coincidentally, unknowingly went to the same irl akihabara meetup and got into a ten-minute screaming argument over who in high school dxd was best girl

(They are both unaware that the other guy and their online friend are the same person bc they did not introduce each other at the time) Later natsume goes to hang out with his pal haruki and they run into [redacted] who is hanging out with... yumehisa

This time they are properly introduced, and then while touma chastises haruki for playing around, natsume and yumehisa manage to get into yet another argument over whether sao is trash or not (natsume is a resolute kiriasu shipper)

They keep running into each other at akihabara and other places going like "Natsume-kuuun...." "Mamiya Yumehisa!!!!" and then spending absurd lengths of time arguing over anime

At one point, they both find themselves going to the same showing of eva 3.0 and there's only a few seats left open so they begrudgingly get seats next to each other. After the movie they both have Thoughts, so they end up discussing the movie for hours & even get dinner together

And then they swap numbers... and they start actually hanging out on purpose even though they still spend most of their time arguing lol

Lacrosse AU (December 2023)

mundane au where they're all hanging out

i have some different houghts about yumehisa's background in this au but idk if i'm 100% in love with any of them... either he's in the foster care system or his parents are divorced [this way, he and minato can still be twins while having different last names. it is important that they have different last names so that natsume can still yell MAMIYA YUMEHISA]. either way he grows up pretty lonely and bonds to his first friend, keito, HARD

what if they're all on the lacrosse team. then what.

i'm looking up lacrosse positions. what do you mean some guys get to use a six foot lacrosse stick. anyway...

school A: natsume, touma, minato, ryou

school B: keito, yumehisa, haruki, mayuri

ryou plays attack and keito plays defense so they have a lot of faceoffs<3

Touma is a long stick midfielder so he can use a big stick while on offense. Minato is on defense and often gets underestimated because of his stature.

Haruki is a goalie because he has goalie vibes. Mayuri is the team manager

Natsume and yumehisa are both midfielders but they are absolutely not allowed to play against each other bc the first time it happened, natsume completely ignored the ball and just started bodychecking yume and then ten minutes later they were hitting each other with their sticks

Coach Arisugawa: youre usually such a good sportsman, wanna explain what that was? Natsume: Idk what happened I just got really angry for some reason. It won't happen again *Arisu puts him back on the field* *Natsume beelines for Yumehisa again and Arisu immediately yells for a sub*

(School B's coach is, of course, Samejima. Keito's father is the head of the school)

keito and ryou have like a gay sports anime rivalry going on but natsume and yumehisa are literally out for blood. when they are on the field against each other it is not a sports anime, it is an action-thriller

Otaku AU part 2 (December 2023)

Suddenly having very strong thoughts on Natsume and Mamiya otaku au

Okay lacrosse au takes place in current day but otaku au specifically takes place in 2012. Because we all know that if Natsume was in the 2020s he would be hopelessly addicted to ten different gacha games

Yumehisa is a Gundam fan (favorite series is Turn A, has seen most of UC Gundam, watched 00 weekly and feels positively about it, hates Wing and SEED). He gets a part-time job specifically to afford gunpla. Lockon x Tieria was a formative ship for him

Natsume is a moe fan (grew up watching Cardcaptor Sakura, adores Lucky Star and Hidamari Sketch, anime of the decade was K-On (Azusa stan)). Watches/reads CLAMP but only the ones with cute girls

He's really bad at playing Touhou but goes to Reitaisai every year to look at Sakuya doujinshi. The type to start lining up for Comiket five hours before it starts

He watched Madoka Magica from week 1 because he loooves Ume Aoki's art and was completely caught off guard by Mami's death

If this au was set in 2023 Natsume and Yumehisa would both love Gundam Witch From Mercury (albeit for different reasons)

(Yumehisa being a mecha fan is because he shows interest in space with Touma) Yumehisa will generally watch anything with mecha but he likes scifi in general and stuff that's depressingly dark. Thinks Bokurano is art. Hates moe (lol)

*dawning realization* Natsume's favorite genre of anime is the kind where four friends hang out...... so like. in the game of MAMIYA, his book is all about four friends. do you see. his favorite book is about--

Beach Episode!!! (December 2023)

[if you haven't heard--Kokoroten announced they were adding new what-if episodes, unlockable after DDD!]

Ohhh it would be so nice if the new DDD scenarios took place in the summer. Natsume finally reached summer

Probably wont happen since kokoroten would have to draw new sprites LMAO but it would be cute. Would be crazy to be able to finally see these people's bare arms

Beach episode:

Keito: knee-length trunks with pineapple print Ryou: thigh-length plain orange trunks (clearance) Haru: black speedo he got from a girlfriend + hawaiian shirt Minato: green compression trunks + hawaiian shirt Natsume: knee-length trunks with a neon shark print + white tshirt Yumehisa: black and green diving suit

Yumehisa tries to wear his scarf to the beach and it gets sand/seawater/birdshit/everything in it and then he almost gets heat stroke when he tries to wear it + the diving suit when the gang is playing beach volleyball

Natsumes wearing a tshirt because he's shy about going shirtless in public but then he gets into the water and. I mean it's a white tshirt, natsume. It gets wet and becomes transparent and he almost starts crying. So then haruki gives him his hawaiian shirt to wear

Ryou and keito absolutely destroy everyone else at beach volleyball with their gay homo psychic jock soul bond so they're not allowed to be on the same team anymore

If pink house is also here:

Mayuri: maroon bikini with a high waist. Puts her hair up in a bun Touma: blue trunks + matching blue swim shirt Arisugawa: swim trunks with palm tree pattern Samejima: cotton pants + cotton shirt & button up (not going in the water)

Sammy goes beach fishing, ropes touma and mayuri into it, and then ryou too once he and keito are done playing volleyball. Touma and mayu are too squeamish to get the fish off the hooks, but ryou does that + helps sammy gut the fish later

Something about arisu and haruki picking up chicks together. I dunno.

Minato and midori go beach combing and midori finds something insane like an actual live horseshoe crab. Samejima tries to be like ^_^ Do you think i could have that (to eat) but midori releases it into the ocean instead

[btw midori is wearing a dark green t-shirt with an photorealistic picture of a fish printed on it + red boy's swim trunks. minato is sad he couldn't get her to wear something cuter... or even less tacky]

Mayuri sunbathing, halfway asleep. Hears screaming and splashing in the distance. Cracks her eyes open, lowers her $300 Gucci sunglasses. Watches as touma tries to drown haruki in the ocean. Puts her sunglasses back on, goes back to sleep

Pink House ideas discussed with a friend in the replies:

me: i dont think the beach episode whatif will happen. but my god do i wish it would

them: it happened in MY HEART. but for real im hoping for a Christmas one... in the veins of the valentine what if....

me: I'M HOPING FOR THIS AS WELL. personally i'm hoping that pink house + yume have a christmas hotpot party. Everyone keeps trying to give yume more food. And samejima keeps adding weird ingredients into the pot

them: pulling out all the veggies. niigaki wants to see if hes still as good in cards as he was before

me: Yume and touma disappearing for a few days and when they get back they're just like yeah we took a boat into the ocean to stargaze. Pretty cool

them: samejima immediately takes yume on a trip

me: To tahiti!!!!!!!!! (lol) But yume makes him take the other pink housers too. Family vacation

them: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 YES…. samejima is actually happy abt it

me: Yumehisa and mayuri burrow him in the sand and he's thrilled. Then arisu dumps a bucket of seawater on his head

them: they pretend to forget him there and he gets actually so anxious

me: Samejima looking at yumehisa with the saddest 🥺 expression a person can make with his eyes closed and going "mamiyaaa" and then yume smiles and dumps another bucket of water over him

them: AWWWWW T______T yes. and makes samejima admit he likes being treated like this, then gives him such a genuine smile he can't be mad..... then leave him alone again. touma ends unburrowing him

Wow i love to think about happy MAMIYA aus where everyone is alive and nothing terrible happens!! Hey wait what's that--

Reverse AU (December 2023)

🤔 mamiya reverse au where yumehisa is the protag and natsume is the antagonist 🤔🤔🤔

Antagonist natsume is going to make yumehisa look so sane in comparison

considering souichirou's fate + how natsume ended up in EX, i think it's possible that antagonist natsume would be a yandere obsessed with mamiya lol. i definitely think that he would take the 3000 years a LOT worse than yumehisa

yanhomo (lol)

trying to figure out how pink house/fungang fit into this, especially re: yumehisa/minato. well, i have no answers. but i AM imagining natsume reverently stroking yumehisa's cheek and saying something like "you have such a perfect body, my mamiya". i don't know. is this anything.

DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THE DDD PROFILES THEY POSTED WHERE YUMEHISA'S SAID "harbors a strong obsession with the protagonist"? WELL IF YUMEHISA WAS THE PROTAGONIST THEN NATSUME'S OBSESSION WOULD BE EVEN STRONGER

hey wait yumehisa's quote on that profile is "I told you. I exist in any world." that's from EX. i know exactly the scene that's from. excuse me kokoroten. what

Anyway, as you all can see, I like Natsume/Mamiya a normal amount.

also HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!

[crellanstein]

Prodigious

I find it odd how the fandom focuses so much on Aang’s childhood being ruined when he learned he was the Avatar at 12, but there’s very little talk about how discovering she was the Avatar as a toddler affected Korra’s life and how she was raised.

But we’ll circle back to that...

Because this is a good starting point to talk about one of the most prevalent themes in the story, which the mainstream discussion of tends to only focus on a few characters -- That is the Child Prodigy. 

We’ll start with the two most obvious. The ones we always talk about.

Azula.

The clearest example of your typical child prodigy (if there is anything typical about a prodigy). Azula showed early mastery of very advanced Fire-Bending techniques, and is the only Fire-Bender to use blue flames, which was intended to make her stand out amongst the other villains but is also indicative that her Fire-Bending is more pure and powerful (blue flame is produced when burning pure O2 or fuel without contaminant at a very high temperature). 

All this lead to her being praised and favored by Ozai as a child, but as double-edged swords go, this also meant she had a lot of pressure on her shoulders to never fail, and she rarely did. Her ego matched her talent, and let’s be honest she was the baddest bitch the show had ever seen. Conquering Ba Sing Se, defeating the Avatar in combat, and dropping some of the most devastating lines of dialogue in villain history; she was a force nobody wanted to reckon with. 

And that become a problem for one asshole in particular...

Being jealous of his own child is just one item on a laundry list of reasons why this guy is the worst father in the history of fathers. Azula had begun to outshine him with her victories, and Ozai’s maniacal ego couldn’t handle that, so he left her behind to babysit the Fire Nation while he went out to burn/conquer the world, which also was her idea.

And while this wasn’t the only thing that aided in her demise, it certainly was the final straw which sent her spiraling down into this...

In the end Azula is a sad example of how certain unfair expectations are placed upon talented children, and the more they succeed, the more these expectations grow and weigh on the them until they either disappoint those looking down on them or surpass and embarrass their elders.

It is a lose-lose situation which inevitably destroys them.

There is a similar example of the child prodigy, but his story goes a little different.

Aang.

Even as a twelve/thirteen year-old boy Aang by far has the most impressive stats among any character in the Avatar universe.

Basically mastering 3 of the 4 Elements in less than a year, after mastering Air by the time he is twelve (not to mention inventing his own Air-bending move, the Air scooter). 

Aang is an example of a child prodigy who had too much thrust onto him at too young an age because of the talent he showed; because of this he panicked and ran away, and the world was worse off for it. 

Aang/Sokka/Katara’s story is all about how in times of War, responsibilities normally handled by adults are pushed onto kids who then have to grow up very fast in order to deal with it all.

The message is clear. War robs the young of their childhoods. 

Now, let’s talk about a different kind of child prodigy.

The Unacknowledged. 

Yes, of course I’m talking about Toph, the greatest Earth-Bender to ever live.

Because of her blindness, Toph’s family tried to keep her sheltered and safe by hiding her from the world. Refusing to believe she could ever be more than helpless. Anyone who has seen the show knows that is far from the truth.

But because her potential went unseen, there were some negative effects to her personality. Initially, she resented her parents, and rebelled; which established a certain level of independence, a bad attitude, and a hot-headed streak. Over time spent with the Gaang these behaviors subsided because she finally had friends and they accepted her for who she was. By the end of the series she was fully willing to accept aid from them when she needed it, like holding on to Sokka’s arm in environment where her bending couldn’t help her “see”. 

Toph’s story is a foil to Azula’s, both showed immense talent and badassery, but while recognition of Azula lead to ever-mounting pressure for her to succeed; the lack of recognition for Toph created a need for her to be acknowledged and set an undercurrent of frustration which leads to her acting out in the ways she does.

The lesson to take from Toph’s story is not to shelter your kid from the world out of fear for their safety, and to be open to recognizing their talents, not shun them.

Next are two more Unacknowledged.

Katara and Sokka.       

Their story, and the reason behind their circumstances, is one of the more complicated and nuanced ones in the series, so here we’ll focus on how it fits into the subject of discussion.

Because of the War, Katara was robbed not only of her mother but also of any Southern Masters to train her, and any role models Sokka could have looked up to left with his father to fight. Because of this Katara’s potential and Sokka’s genius went unacknowledged not due to neglect but rather due to circumstance. (Yes, I think Sokka is a genius, how many 15 yr olds do you know that can plan an invasion, design submarines, and spit poetry off the cuff?).

This is a further example of how War robs kids of necessary childhood experiences, and these two robberies had particular effects on both Katara and Sokka’s character developments.

Sokka had the responsibility of protecting his home put upon him at a young age. The men of his tribe leaving prevented him from completing his rite of manhood until the Gaang ran into Bato of the Water Tribe, and early on Sokka was constantly trying to prove himself as a man and a leader. Sokka is one of the smarter characters of the series, but he rarely got credit for it until the third season. Not to mention that because he wasn’t a bender he often seemed less useful than the others. The circumstances of war made his talent go unnoticed and because of that he often was unsure of himself and overcompensated to prove something.

Speaking of talent going unnoticed.

Katara is definitely one of the more talented benders of the series. After training herself for years with little progress, she essentially mastered Water-Bending in a few weeks under Master Pakku. While her anger towards the Fire-Nation mostly centers around the loss of her mother, it can’t be ignored that the delay in her training was a direct result of the Fire-Nations’ actions.  Toph’s anger and frustration vented itself as rebellion. However, the same frustration and anger is within Katara, but because she wasn’t as natural a bender as Toph she sought to learn and be respected, and when that was denied to her is when that anger bubbled to the surface in some terrifying ways. 

While Toph’s talent went unnoticed because of her families neglect, Katara and Sokka’s wasn’t acknowledged because there was nobody to acknowledge it. Because of that both brother and sister wanted to prove themselves to the world.

And then there is Zuko.

I know what you’re thinking. Zuko wasn’t a prodigy, his Fire-Bending skill didn’t catch up with Azula’s until the finale and he never mastered Lightning-Bending, but this section is about the Unacknowledged.

Zuko had many other talents besides Fire-Bending, he was a master swordsmen, and was able to successfully break into every secure facility he attempted in the show (which was almost every secure facility the show featured).  Unfortunately, these talents were never recognized, because the only thing the royal family cared about was bending ability (It’s possible the reason he learned the sword was because he lacked skill in Fire-Bending). 

As per usual with Zuko, this part of his tale is quite sad. Many can relate to being outshined by a sibling, and when it becomes all too clear that one cannot match another’s talent it’s quite understandable to focus on what they do excel at, but even then there is no promise of recognition for their own talent. Zuko was even mocked by his father during the solar eclipse when Ozai tried baiting him into attacking with his swords. 

This lack of recognition is one of many sad aspects of Zuko’s early life, but it is a definitive example of one of the hardest unacknowledged prodigy’s cross to bear. The Outshone prodigy, one whose talents are never noticed because a bigger and brighter star stands in the way of such recognition, and arguably the most frustrating type mentioned here. Toph/Sokka/Katara all came from situations were there was no recognition being given to them or anyone, but Zuko had to bear watching massive amounts of praise be piled on to his sister while he and his accomplishments went by the way side.

Ozai summed up the situation best.

“Azula was born lucky, Zuko was lucky to be born”

Alright now where have I been going with all this?

So, far we’ve covered a lot of wrong ways to treat a child, whether they show talent or not, and how the circumstances of war can also take many things from children.

But what happened to Korra?

(Before we get into to this I should state that I like Korra, and the purpose of this is not to bash her as a character or her arc, but rather to give a little of my insight into it.)

It’s well established that Aang was told of his heritage too young, and that was a detriment on his development into an adult, but what would have happened if he realized his powers himself not long after he could walk? We’ll never know, but we do get to see the effects it had on Korra. 

When she revealed herself as the Avatar, Korra set her entire life in a new direction, and because Aang tasked the White Lotus with finding and training her that direction was out of her control. There are two key differences between Korras’ and other Avatars’ lives.

1. She grew up in isolation on a White Lotus compound.

Every Avatar before Korra we know of spent a portion of their early lives traveling the world in order to master the elements; along this journey they not only learned how to bend the other 3 elements, buy also many things about the 3 other nations and the world they are tasked to protect as a whole. By confining Korra in safety and bringing the masters to her the White Lotus deprived Korra of this opportunity to learn and grow and understand the world and the people within in. It also deprived her of learning modern bending styles until she reached Republic City.

While this might have kept Korra safe from the Red Lotus, it grew within her a naiveté about how the world worked, and because of this when she actually did venture out into the world she was terribly unprepared for it.

2.  She was trained and mastered 3 of the elements by the time she was 16.

Most Avatars don’t know they have this power until they reach 16 and then they spend several years learning to control it. Korra’s natural talent in the bending lead to her training being expedited not by necessity like Aang’s, but due to her talent and eagerness. Korra excelled at the physical part of being the Avatar and because of this by the time she reached maturity she had become over-confident in her abilities and true to what her Fire-Bending master said in Ep.1 she lacked restraint.

I’m not saying her bending isn’t great, but rather because it is so great it’s her go-to solution to anything, and she enjoys that so she uses it with enthusiastic gusto and not a lot of thinking before striking.

This overconfidence coupled with her naiveté of the world is what lead to many of her rash decisions and actions, most of which had negative consequences, and I believe are the reason behind some fan are dissatisfied with her. Aang had been almost the complete opposite, even by the age of twelve he was an experienced world traveler and an incredibly humble guy. 

Some may have been dissatisfied by these character decisions, but they served a purpose, they are only the beginning of her arc. The internal challenge Korra must overcome through 4 seasons is to humble herself before the world, and learn from it. This was finally achieved in the 4th season when the metal poisoning in her body forces her to face others in the world as equals, only then had she completed her journey.

And why did it all go this way?

Because she is a very unique child prodigy, what she demonstrates in the first episode of LOK would be akin to a toddler playing the violin or hitting a three-pointer; she could bend 3 elements close to just after learning to walk. That is the kind of prodigious talent rarely seen because it is mostly impossible. How does a rational person handle a child like that? 

It’s a tough question, and something this essay has been circling around the whole time. Each example here is the wrong way to handle talented and different children, but what is the right way?

As always look to Iroh.

Who treated his surrogate son Zuko with both respect and compassion. 

Unlike Toph’s parents, Iroh worried over Zuko’s well being, but also allowed him to be independent, make his own decisions, and take his own risks.

Unlike the Nomad Leaders, he didn’t want Zuko weighed down by his position in the world and the responsibility that came with, and always encouraged him relax and take advantage of the moment.

Unlike Ozai, Iroh would always be there to support Zuko in his victories and his failures. Iroh shows him the right path but does not force him down it.

And even after Zuko betrayed and abandoned him.

Iroh was never angry with him, and embraced him upon his return.

He wanted Zuko to grow and be a better man. Even if Zuko wasn’t a prodigy like his sister. 

And that is the answer here. The way to raise a prodigy is the same way anyone should raise any child. Love, Support, a Guiding Hand rather than a Forceful Shove, Recognition of What Makes Them Unique, and Forgiveness When They Falter. The problem comes along when you start treating children differently because you see them as different or special. All children are different, all children are special.

Kids are kids, and they all deserve a proper childhood.  

[absolutelyfizzing]

he promised

poe dameron x reader

description - Poe always promised he would come back from missions. One time he doesn't. (Ends in fluff i promise i promise)

warnings - depression?, anxiety?, fem pronouns, talk of injury and death, grief, fluff at the end, use of petnames, reader gets carried for a while and sits on a lap, mentions of eating and eating avoidance (not ed)

word count - 3800

A/N - so this was an oops. I wrote this hella fast but i was in the zone and i am pretty happy with the emotionally devastating product. I promise it has a happy ending i just dont want to give too much away. I feel like for maximum emotional damage you need to be a little in the dark. anyway, forgive me

MASTERLIST

You were stood in the command center with your hands wringing together. No matter how many missions Poe went on, the waiting was always hell. How were you supposed to remain sane when the love of your life was out fighting a battle that he might not come back from. That you might never see him again. He always reassured you that he would always come back to you. That you never had anything to worry about. You tried to believe him, and for the most part you did, but that didn't prevent you from being worried when he was gone.

You listened through the coms, trying to keep track of what was happening during the battle. Leia let you stay in there because she had a soft spot for you, as well as the pilot you were worried about. You were thankful she let you listen in on every mission, it meant that you weren't alone worrying in the room you shared with Poe. The conversation over coms was rushed and loud, they were scared and that made your heart beat faster.

'I have to go through, they're gonna come after us if I don't.' You heard your fiance yell. Worry stuck in the pit of your stomach, he was going to take a risk, you could feel it.

'Poe, it's not worth it. We should get out of here while we still can'. You agreed, wanting him to get out of there as soon as possible. You prayed he would listen and just get out.

'I have to try, I can't go back knowing that they could be following us to base.'

'Poe wait-' You heard someone rush out before comotion ensued again. You could feel your heart in your throat. You could have cried. After a minute of listening to pure chaos, nobody in the control room dared to speak a word. Everyone was waiting for an indication of what to do from the squadron. You found yourself zoning out in your worry. You were only broken out of your trance when you heard your fiance's name.

'Poe is down.' You stopped breathing.

"Down? What do you mean down?" You heard Leia call over comms.

'I'm sorry commander, he got hit. His X-Wing engine got shot and he was heading to crash on the planet right below us, his coms died. There's no way to know if he made it through but I don't know many who could take that crash and live. We have to head out and hope he comes back to base but I wouldn't get my hopes up.'

"Get out of there while you still can. We will have to worry about Poe when we gather our strength." Leia responded and the squadron called their understanding before the process of bringing them home began. You hadn't moved. You weren't sure if you had breathed. Your body was fully numb. You could feel eyes on you as everyone waited for you to respond. To show some emotion of your boyfriend having just gone MIA. You couldn't feel yourself though, your fingertips were numb, and you refused to believe he was dead. He promised. He told you he would come home.

Your brain was split between trying to grieve for the loss of the love of your life and trusting that he would be back. That he had to come back because he promised he would and he never breaks a promise. You felt hands on you and you realized you had fallen to sit in your spot. Leia was above you and was ushering you to your feet. You mindlessly let her push you somewhere and you barely even looked to see where you were going.

Eventually you showed up at your apartment door. You couldn't tell whether it felt like it had been instantaneous or an eternity to get there. Leia unlocked your door and pushed you inside and to the small couch that was stood in the living room-like space. The apartments were all very small, Poe had one a little bigger because he was housing with another person and because of his rank. Still, the extra amenities included a small couch, a smaller kitchen, and a window along the bedroom wall. When Leia sat you on the couch she kneeled in front of you. Her hand went to your cheek and you looked at her for the first time since you'd heard Poe go down. She seemed to almost be in tears but your eyes were dry. You didn't feel anything.

"Y/N, what can I do?" She asked gently. "Do you need anything?" You felt yourself shake your head and open your mouth like you were going to talk but closed it again as you thought.

"He said... He said he was coming back." You stated as if it changed the situation. "He promised." You mumbled.

"I know, Y/N. I am so sorry." She tried to console and your head shook. "We don't know what happened after he went down. You heard the team. He might contact us in the next few days, he is a smart man and he knows how to get a message out. But I don't want it to hurt you more if he never does." She tries to reason and you shook your head.

"No, you don't understand. He promised, " your head was spinning, "he's coming back." You felt tears fall down your face. When had you started crying? "He promised me that he was coming back home." Your voice broke which surprised you. Before you knew it you were crying into Leia's arms and you couldn't stop yourself. That was how you stayed with her for a while after, you weren't sure how long. She shed some tears of her own but eventually you both ran dry. You lost feeling again and you couldn't tell if it was better or worse. You made a decision. You wouldn't grieve over him until you were sure he was not coming back. You wouldn't mourn until you were sure.

The alternative was not, however, to recover. Instead you just stopped doing anything at all. You stopped eating, taking care of yourself, caring. Soon, your friends came in to talk to you. Instead of it being conversation though, they just talked at you. You couldn't bring yourself to respond or really even listen. Or maybe you did but you just couldn't remember. They would periodically come through to help you into a shower in which you just let the water run over you while someone else, you thought maybe Rey but you couldn't even recall, washed your hair. You drank water when they asked and would take a bite of food if they begged but other than that you might as well have been dead to the world. You almost hadn't realized how much of a vital part to your existence Poe was. How little you could bring yourself to do without him. You had thought you were prepared to be separated, you were in the middle of a war after all. Instead it was impossible to do anything without him and you wondered how long you could keep doing it.

This went on for a week. That was how long it took for them to declare him 'killed in action'. They felt that, if he was alive, he would have found a way to contact the base with the help of BB8 and local lifeforms. That was when you allowed yourself to grieve. The numbness turned into pain and it was a million times worse. You would have given anything to go back to numb.

You finally listened to your friends when they talked to you but their consolations did nothing to put you at ease. You still struggled to do anything but you complied with their pleads. You had been convinced, 2 weeks after the KIA announcement, to go to the canteen. To see people and interact. Finn pulled you along with an attempt at a smile on his face. Your face was blank but you tried to soften your eyes. You knew he was trying to help and he was grieving the loss of his best friend as well. When you were pulled into the large cafeteria, all noise ceased. You knew that they were looking at you and you guessed that they pitied you. You had seen yourself in the mirror that morning and you would have pitied you too. You got pulled to a table and Finn went to go get you and himself food.

People periodically came by and said hello or asked how you were as you tried to eat something. You responded with one word answers usually and you hadn't met anyone's eyes. You could feel yourself getting overwhelmed and decided you would head back to your room. You quietly thanked Finn for trying and left to the hallway.

Suddenly, alarms sounded. You were startled into awareness and people began running past you.

'ALL EMERGENCY CREW TO FLIGHT DECK'

You were curious about the alarm but you weren't emergency crew and you knew they didn't need any more bodies there than would already be there. That was until you heard someone as they rushed by as they talked to the medic next to them.

"Yeah I heard it was him but he went missing weeks ago." They sounded confused and continued jogging toward the flight deck. You feet started moving before you could even process it and it was the fastest you'd moved since he had gone missing. Since he had died.

When you got to the flight deck there was already a crowd. You could see over the see a people a beat up X-Wing. You thought you might have heard a droid. You elbowed your way to the front of the crowd, not apologizing when people grumbled their frustrations at you. When you made it to the front you were stood no more than 50 feet from him. He was soot covered and beat up but he was standing as he tried to wiggle out of the grasp of the medics. BB8 beeped and turned, spotting you. He made a loud excited noise and rushed to roll over to you and Poe turned at the sound. When he met your gaze he smiled.

You felt your knees give out and tears start to fall from your eyes. Your arms crossed over your stomach and you started to curl into a ball over your knees. A sob left you and suddenly large warm hands were on your shoulders.

"Y/N? My love, are you okay?" He rushed out, checking over you for injury as the medics still grumbled about needing to see him. His hand came under your chin to move your face so he was making eye contact with you. You let out another sob before grabbing his vest and pulling him into you, he kneeled to the ground as you clung to him and cried into his chest. He moved himself so he was sitting on the ground and he pulled you into his lap. You felt his hands on your back trying to soothe you but you couldn't stop crying. "I'm back. I'm so sorry I was gone but I'm back." He mumbled out as he kissed your head a few times.

"I'm so angry at you." You whispered and he almost laughed, just happy to hear your voice. You finally pulled your head out of his chest and kissed him like your life depended on it, like it was the last time you would ever see him. You pulled away so you were looking into his eyes. "Please don't leave me," you begged almost silently. You weren't even sure if he could hear you. "Please don't leave again."

"I'm not leaving, baby, I promise." He tried to calm you. "I'm right here. I'm okay."

You nodded, trying to convince yourself that he was real and he was here. You kissed him again just to check. You pulled away again, still trying to convince yourself.

"You died." You struggled out and Poe felt tears in his eyes as well. "You were dead, you crashed and you didn't make it and then they said you were gone." You said like that was what happened.

"I didn't die, my love. I'm right here. I'm alive, I'm okay." Poe pleaded and he grabbed your hand, bringing it up to his face so you could feel him. Your hand moved along is jaw which was now covered in stubble and grime. Your head shook like you were disagreeing with him but you were simply in disbelief.

"I love you" You mumbled as your eyes traced the lines of his face and tears fell from your eyes. He let a few tears fall as well before pressing meaningful kisses to every part of your face that he could reach.

You spent the next 2 hours like that. You wouldn't leave his hold and he didn't try to move you. The medics worked around you and everyone greeted him without disturbing you. You stayed, on his lap, curled into his chest. Your breathing had slowed to a normal pace and you were holding onto his vest tightly. Eventually, he had to be debriefed. He petted your hair and cooed at you to catch your attention.

"Y/N, my love," he whispered, "we have to get up now." He felt you nod but you made no move to get up from him. He took a breath before moving you off of his lap as you whined, standing up, and then picking you up so you could wrap yourself around him. You hummed contentedly into his chest and he had a smile on his face as he walked through the base.

"I love you." You whispered again into his chest. You had been doing it periodically every so often in the last 2 hours and every time Poe would repeat it back to you, kiss your head, or say something else. This time he chose to kiss your head.

"Baby, I have to go to the debriefing now and you know you can't come with me." He tried to say gently but he knew this separation might be hard for both of you. "I'm gonna put you down." He warned before encouraging your legs to go to the floor. You listened but didn't release his neck which you were also clung to. His hands fell to your waist and you both stood for a moment with your heads in each others necks and breathing deeply. "I'm gonna hand you off to Rey, okay?" He asked as he flagged down Rey from the hallway.

"Okay." You whispered, still not releasing him.

"Hey, Rey, sorry to bother you but could you keep Y/N company for a few minutes while I talk to Leia and the squadron?"

"Oh of course!" Rey chirped and you took a deep breath before releasing Poe. You let him kiss your cheeks and your nose before he walked the other direction toward the command center. You stared at him until Rey put her hand in yours and clasped it. You turned to look at her and for the first time in weeks, she saw you smile. "I'm so happy for you, Y/N." She assured and you believed her.

"Thank you." You whispered and another tear fell from you, this time of joy and happiness. Not grief.

"What do you say to heading to your room and get cleaned up a bit, yeah?" She tried and you nodded, following where her hand lead with one last glance toward the direction that Poe went.

"-the converter didnt even work until a day ago because the main power source broke down." Poe finished explaining his time on the planet he had crashed on and the rest of the squadron nodded and asked a few more questions. Once he was done, Finn met him outside the command center.

"So-" he paused, "I'm not sure how to say this nicely but most of your stuff went into the redistribution center because you were presumed dead." He rushed out. Poe took a moment to process and nodded.

"Well that's sort of a bummer. Could I borrow some of your stuff?" Poe asked, knowing it would take at least a day for him to get reassigned sets of uniforms.

"Yeah of course, that's why I'm standing here waiting for you. You could get cleaned up in my room too if you want. I know Y/N kept a few of your jackets and shirts but most of it got taken." The boys began to walk toward Finn's living quarters and there was a moment of silence before Poe asked something he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to.

"What happened when I was gone?" His throat felt dry suddenly and his words came out hoarse. "To Y/N I mean. Was she okay?" Poe wasn't sure what answer he wanted. He knew from your recent reaction that you were devastated, as he would have been, but he also knew he had a dangerous job. He might not come back from some other mission in the future and he hoped you would survive without him.

"Do you really want to know?" Finn questioned.

Poe nodded.

"I mean, she was broken." He paused to think. "She didn't talk to anyone for a week. Wouldn't move. Wouldn't cry. Rey had to help her shower and we had to beg her to eat. We almost sent her to the med wing because we thought she was gonna pass out from dehydration, she would barely take a sip of water." Poe's heart was in his throat but he was sure there was more. "Then you were pronounced KIA."

"Oh god."

"Yeah it wasn't pretty. They pulled your stuff out of your guys' room, took your name off the ledger. Leia let her keep some stuff but it was hard to watch. She finally cried, she just wouldn't stop. She was more responsive but she wasn't even moving towards okay. You could tell she was only doing what we were asking because we were begging. That she was doing it out of guilt. Today was actually the first day that I talked her into coming out of her room. She had been to the canteen for about an hour when she felt she needed to leave and then alarms sounded that you were back." Finn finished with a glance to his friend and Poe looked like he might throw up.

"I want her to be okay if I don't make it back one day." Poe tried to explain to his friend.

"She probably would have been functioning in a few months. She wouldn't have recovered but she would function. She's a strong woman, but she also loves you a lot. I mean, how would you react if she was killed on mission?" Poe could tell it was a rhetorical question but he thought about it very carefully. You were an engineer so you weren't called out on mission often, not nearly as often as him. When you were, he was worried sick the whole time. He hadn't really thought about how him being gone affected you before. Now looking back on it he kicked himself for it.

Poe thought about what he would have done if you had died and he thought that your reaction was probably mild. That he would have been unresponsive for weeks or even become violent with anger and grief. He knew that you were the one for him, the most important thing in his life, and without you he didn't know if he would find purpose in his life anymore. He fought in the war as hard as he did for you. To make the galaxy safer for you.

When he went MIA it was because he tried to take out a couple more imperial ships than he could handle. He only did it because he knew they would have followed them back to base if they left. Back to you. So he took the risk and it backfired but he knew he would do it again to try and keep the First Order away from you.

He was knocked out of his train of thought by the arrival at Finn's quarters. Poe tried to get cleaned up and dressed quickly, getting the grime off of himself and shaving his face. He hurried back to your shared quarters and when he entered his room he was greeted with your smiling face as you laughed.

You were sat on the bed, Rey on the other end, as you were talking about something which caught you in a fit of giggles. At the sound of him stepping into the room you looked at him and got up quickly to rush up and hug him tightly.

"Missed you." You mumbled into his chest. As he held you Rey silently nodded at Poe and left the room.

"Was only gone for a minute, honey bun." He reassured and you pulled your face back.

"You know I hate that one."

"Boo bear?" he teased and you shook your head no. "Munchkin?" nope. "honey bear?" no thank you. "Baby love?" You tilted your head a bit.

"I don't loathe that one."

"Sweetheart?"

"I like that one."

"Princess?"

"That's my favorite" You giggled and kissed him quickly for a moment. He could have cried at the sight of you giggling. He had missed that, you, the sounds you made, so goddamn much. More than he would ever put into words.

"I know it is, pretty girl." He smiled before picking you up and you squealed. He walked you over to the bed before dropping you on it and laying next to you. You climbed close to him, practically laying on his chest. His arm was snug around your waist and he left no room for you to move, not that you would have anyway. "How would you feel about going to bed, princess?" He almost whispered, not wanting to disrupt the fragile quiet in the room.

"Yes please. I love you Poe." You whispered back and closed your eyes a bit, focussing on his breathing.

"I love you, Y/N" he responded.

You both got the first decent sleep you'd had in weeks that night.

[lesbobiwan]

omg babes congrats on 100!! I love your writing sm

if you'd like, may I suggest "19) "Do you need me to finger you first?" from the prompt list with either Boba or Wrecker?

you know their bulges be huge 👀

thank you so much!!!! finally an excuse to write about the legend of the stomach bulge!

#19: "Do you need me to finger you first?" + Wrecker (i got carried away with this one oops)

warnings: f!reader, the legend of the stomach bulge, dirty talk, size kink, squirting

You knew he was big.

Look at him.

You knew, realistically, that he would be big. But, you never really thought about how every part of him would be proportional to his considerable height and bulk.

Still, you're still in shock at the sight of Wrecker's massive cock sliding between your pussy lips, the head resting a good couple of inches above your clit.

Wrecker rolls his hips minutely, and the slide of his cock gives your clit the most delicious friction.

You've felt his cock before, of course. You've shoved your knee between his legs and let him grind against you until he came all over the inside of his blacks like a cadet, but he always stopped you when you tried to take it out.

You think it might be a good thing, because if he had shown you his cock earlier you wouldn't be able to keep your mouth or cunt off of it.

Still, your body is wracked with nerves as you're faced with the biggest cock in the galaxy.

Again, you know he's big. You shiver at the memory of him laying you on his bed and enveloping your body in his bulk, caging you in until you could do nothing but writhe against his fingers in your pussy. You think about the way his strong arms, with biceps bigger than your head, wrap around your hips to keep them down while he eats you out.

Wrecker hands trail down your sides until he's able to spread apart your pussy lips with his thumbs. The sound it makes is downright filthy, and you'd be embarrassed if you didn't want him to fuck you so much.

You watch in awe as his cock sinks further between your folds.

Fuck, it's so big. You'll be able to feel him in your fucking throat you think.

You force your eyes up to Wrecker's face.

His undivided attention is on the way your cunt gushes around his cock, getting it nice and wet for you but there's a feeling inside you that says it won't be enough.

He's sizing you up, you realize, seeing if his cock will be able to fit in your cunt. He wants to see how deep he'll be.

Your clit throbs and your pussy clenches around nothing at the thought.

"Do you..." you trail off, biting your lip as Wrecker's hands shift to your thighs to spread your legs further apart. Like this, you're fully exposed to Wrecker's hungry gaze. You think you'd let him eat you alive if he wanted to.

You feel childish in what you're about to ask — like a virgin all over again wondering if sex will be as good as everyone says it is.

You know it will be. Wrecker's made you cum on his tongue and fingers more times than you can count, plus that one time he had you grind against his thigh while still in armor, but he's never put his cock in you.

"Do you think it'll fit?" You finally ask, pushing your hips against his grip even though you know it won't do anything.

Wrecker's groan is filthy and he can't stop the downright vicious way he thrusts his cock between your folds, giving your clit that glorious friction it craves while your cunt gushes and flutters around nothing.

You drop your head back against the pillow with a sob. Fuck, he's so big. He'll never fit.

"What do you think?" he breathes, continuing to slide the length of his cock against your folds. He can't seem to take his eyes off the way your puffy cunt spreads around his cock and coats it with slick.

You can do nothing but pant with every roll of his hip. Maker, you think if he doesn't fuck you now you'll explode.

Wrecker is saying something, you know, but your world has shrunk down to only his cock and your cunt. Nothing else matters.

"Answer me," Wrecker demands with another devastating thrust of his hips. He takes one hand off your inner thigh to grab the base of his cock and slap it against your cunt with a wet splat.

You gasp and jerk in his grip. "Fuck!" you cry out, already aching for more.

"Do you need me to finger you first?" Wrecker repeats, resting his cock back against your folds. He keeps it there, staying perfectly still in a display of patience that Wrecker can only show in the bedroom.

Fuck, he's never gonna fit. He's going to ruin you. You'll feel him in your throat, for Maker's sake.

"Need me to stretch out your tight little cunt for my big cock? Huh?" Wrecker's hand wraps in your hair and forces your head up to watch how your cunt gushes and drenches his cock in your slick.

"Please!" you sob, unable to take your eyes off the magnificent sight. "You're so big, Wrecker, I think you'll break me,"

Maybe you want him to break you.

Wrecker wants to break you too if the way his cock jerks against you is any hint.

"I plan on it," Wrecker hisses against your neck before he releases his grip on your head to let your head fall back against the pillow.

~

Your world shrinks down, once again, to the sight of your cunt.

Your thighs tremble as Wrecker presses a fourth finger into your cunt.

"Tightest fucking cunt in the galaxy," Wrecker hisses, grinding his hips into the mattress to find even the smallest bits of friction. "You gotta relax for me," he soothes, sliding his fingers against the spongey part inside of you that makes your back arch and your mouth drop into a silent scream.

Pressure rises in your core like you've never felt it before.

Wrecker angles his fingers even more, now pressing against That Spot with unerring accuracy.

Your climax rips through your body, pleasure sparking from deep into your chest to the tips of your fingers. Your cunt spasms around his fingers that are knuckle deep inside you.

Your tipping point is Wrecker keeping eye contact as he lowers his head to wrap his lips around your clit.

You fall of the cliff of release with a shriek. Your body is wracked with convulsions as you gush against him, your cum flooding his face and fingers.

You can't even bare to watch. The sight is too much. Your body quivers like a leaf in a wind storm.

When Wrecker is finally done drinking from you — because that's what he did. Drink your cum down and lick his lips like it was the most delicious thing he's ever tasted — he rises back up to cage you in.

"What do you think? You ready for my cock?"

"Please!" you sob, still trembling with the aftershocks of your orgasm. "Please, put your cock in me, please! Pleasepleaseplease—"

Your babbling is cut short as Wrecker pushes the head of his cock into you.

"Oh, fuck!" you cry out, eyes wide as you watch your cunt split open as hit cock sinks into you, inch by devastating inch. "Wrecker!"

Wrecker's hand drops down to your clit, and this gun-calloused thumb begins to rub tight and slow circles around the throbbing bud. "Maker, you're still so tight for me," he groans, rolling his hips to slide deeper inside of you.

You're speaking now — blubbering nonsense that means absolutely nothing except that you think Wrecker's cock is going to split you in half.

You were right. You think you can feel him in your throat.

Wrecker groans again, thumb speeding up against your clit, "Look at that," he breathes.

He's so close. Just a few inches left before he's completely inside, and every inch of him just wants to slam inside you but he knows better.

Besides, watching you tremble around him is one of the best sights he's ever seen. He wishes he managed to grab is holo-recorder to capture this moment forever.

"Stars, your pussy is just eating me up, pretty girl," Wrecker continues, finally — finally — sinking in to the hilt.

He stays flush against you as you wail your pleasure. Your hips jerk as best they can against his grip on you.

You force yourself to pick your head up and — Oh fuck.

"Wrecker!" you keen, hand scrambling against the sheets. "Look, you're—" you suck in a big breath, eyes rolling in the back of your head as Wrecker rocks his hips. "You're splitting me open!"

And it's true, because right there, above your mound is him.

The bulge of his massive cock is pushing through your skin and leaving an imprint in your tummy.

Wrecker's hips jerk, thrusting into you with devastating force. He can't seem to take his eyes off of the proof that he's fucking you — he's making tears of pleasure spring to your eyes.

"Oh, fuck, mesh'la," he hisses, somehow pressing deeper inside of you. His hand slides up from your clit, and you don't even have time to lament the loss before he's pressing his hand against the bulge.

The pressure is too much. You yowl at the feeling of Wrecker, both inside and outside of you, and your cunt clenches down against his cock as you cum a second time that night.

You don't think you'll ever be the same after this. You'll never be able to fuck anyone else. No one will ever compare.

"That's right," Wrecker coos, finally pulling his hips back and setting a punishing pace. "No one will ever fuck you the way I do. You hear me?"

Wrecker's hand grabs your jaw, forcing you to open your eyes and meet his gaze. "No one," he repeats, his voice drenched in a feral desperation.

"No one!" you agree, writhing uselessly against his cock and the catastrophic feeling of his cock splitting you open. "I'm yours!"

You clench down on him one more time as he pushes his thumb into your mouth. It's all so intimate despite the filthy way he's fucking you.

His thumb presses into your mouth for your tongue to lathe against, and he never breaks eye contact as he fucks you. His other hand stays on the bulge that appears through your skin every time he thrusts him.

"That's right," Wrecker breathes, dropping his forehead to yours, "you're mine."

You sob as another orgasm takes over your body. Tears are streaming down your face in earnest now but Wrecker doesn't seem inclined to slow down any time soon.

He's ruining you. True to his name, he's wrecking you for any other man, but you don't want any other man. You want him.

You're his. His. His.

[earlgreydream]

benefits.

| draco x reader | angst | fluff | smut |

anon requested. can you do draco x reader from best friend to fwb but no catching feelings rule... 

a/n: lots of people have requested rough sex lately. it must be something in the air.

Several bad decisions led up to where you were now, curled up in Draco Malfoy’s bed, clutching his sheets to your body.

Bad decision number 1: Becoming best friends with Draco Malfoy.

How could you not? The blonde boy was ambitious, charming, and loyal. You had come to Hogwarts knowing nobody, a scared 11 year old in a new home, surrounded by new people. You were sitting alone at a table when the blonde sat down beside you. 

“I’m Malfoy, Draco Malfoy.”

You were never lonely after that. You and Draco became inseparable. You were together at Hogwarts nearly every waking moment, and summers and christmases were spent at Malfoy Manor together, or traveling abroad to see the world. 

Draco was always the first one to support you, the one to celebrate with you, and the one to cry with you. The two of you shared everything, sticking by one another, even through the occasional fight. Nothing would break up your friendship.

Bad decision number 2: Becoming friends with benefits with Draco Malfoy.

You couldn’t imagine trusting anyone enough to lose your virginity to, other than Draco Malfoy. That’s how it started, a night at Malfoy Manor during Christmas break.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Draco had asked you softly.

“I’m sure. Nothing will change, I just want to you to be the one.”

That was how you discovered that Draco Malfoy was entirely perfect. He took incredible care of you, making sure you were feeling good, and making sure you were safe. Draco adored you, and this decision added another layer of intimacy that brought the two of you closer.

One time wasn’t enough for either of you. Hooking up turned into a common occurrence for the two of you. You’d sworn it was strictly friends with benefits, that there was no strings attached, you were just using one another’s talent to get off.

This went on for years, and you and Draco had done it everywhere. At the Manor, at your own home, in your respective dorms, in the astronomy tower, in a broom closet, and even once on Snape’s desk when you were feeling particularly mischievous. 

You’d both promised yourself it was no catching feelings, and you’d both managed to fail.

Bad decision number 3: Falling in love with Draco Malfoy. 

It happened so fast, yet over so long, it was impossible to decipher how it happened. Maybe it was the sex, maybe it was cheering him on at quidditch games, maybe it was the late nights in the common room with tea. Maybe it was none of those things. 

Draco was the other half of your heart, and you couldn’t imagine a single day without him. Your heart raced when he touched you, and you filled with butterflies at the sight of his smile. 

The realization hit you all at once, after a particularly steamy night in his prefect dorm. For the first time in your life, you didn’t know how to tell Draco something. He sensed it, he knew the ins and outs of your mind and your heart. 

“What’s on your mind, love?” It was an innocent question, spoken lightly as he laid beside you in the black sheets, studying the expression on your face. 

That brought you to where you were now. You sat up to look at him, covering your naked body with the sheets. Draco’s hand rested casually on your thigh as it often did, his silver gaze patient as he waited for you to answer.

“I want more.”

Draco grinned and tried to pull the sheet from your body, and you swatted his hand away. The deviant smile fell from his face when he sat the seriousness in your eyes, and he sat up beside you.

“More, as in...?”

“I want to be in a real relationship. You’re my best friend, and I want more than just sex. I think we would be so good together.”

The silence that followed was suffocating, and the guarded expression that Draco never had with you broke out on his face. You shook your head, tears threatening to spill from your waterline. You wished you could take it back, but it was too late. He was already shutting down, and you felt like you’d made a catastrophic mistake.

“Draco, I-”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. There’s someone else...” he looked sickened, and you were stunned, feeling like the knife in your chest had been twisted. 

“What?”

“I should’ve told you. I have plans to ask out Pansy-”

“Forget I said anything...” You breathed, suddenly feeling ashamed and exposed. 

“Y/N. Love, wait.”

You were out of the bed, dragging your clothes on before he could stop you. You ran from his room, wanting to escape the embarrassment and tension. 

You had never been away from Draco for so long. You’d avoided him, unable to face his rejection. You had heard from Hogwarts gossip that Pansy had rejected his offer to date, and you wondered why. She’d always shown interest in Draco, and you had scolded him in the past for leading her on. You couldn’t imagine what had possessed him to decide to ask her out.

You didn’t know it was to try to see if anyone made him feel the way that you did. Draco was enamoured with you, and he feared that you didn’t feel the same. He’d panicked when you’d asked for a relationship, and he wanted to tell you that he just wanted to be sure. You must’ve understood, because you had done the same with Theodore Nott in fourth year. 

Draco was devastated by the loss of you. You’d avoided him, ignoring all his attempts to try to spend time with you. He wanted to tell you that he realized it was a mistake the second you’d walked out the door. He’d asked Pansy out, and she had turned him down, knowing she would never be you.

“Draco, I care about you. You’re in love with Y/N. I can see it, everyone can see it. She’s in love with you too. You don’t need to experiment with me to confirm it.” 

He wondered how he could’ve been so blind. How he could’ve hurt you like that. The regret was all-consuming.

To make matters worse, he’d seen you with George Weasley, and everyone whispered that you didn’t leave the Gryffindor dorms at night. White-hot jealousy twisted in Draco whenever he saw you with the redhead. It was too much, and he couldn’t take it.

George was there to keep you warm, but it was nothing like Draco. George didn’t understand you, he didn’t know what you were thinking without an explanation. His eyes didn’t light up the same way when you laughed. He was sweet, but he wasn’t Draco.

Three weeks passed, and you felt raw. You were barely paying attention as you walked through the quiet corridors, lost in thought. Thoughts of Draco, thoughts of how right now you would be curled up on a couch, studying potions, if you hadn’t told him the truth.

You gasped in surprise as a hand came to the small of your back, another wrapping around your arm.

“Draco?” You were startled. He was pulling you down a side hallway, to empty, abandoned corridors that were never used. A large iron door appeared in the stone wall, and you let Draco wordlessly push you through it, into the Room of Requirement.

The room was fashioned like an elaborate bedroom, a massive bed with black silk sheets in the center. The lights were low, and you suddenly felt warm.

“Draco, what is going on?” You turned to your best friend, your hands coming to rest on his chest when his body was practically against yours.

“I can’t stand to see you with that bloody redhead. You belong with me.” Draco was practically seething, and the lust in his eyes made your body wake with familiar adrenaline. 

“Prove it.”

Draco tore your uniform off of you, buttons clattering against the cold floor. Your heart was beating in your ribcage, your nerves beginning to spark with anticipation to feel Draco’s touch again. 

Warmth heated your face and ears when Draco tossed you onto the bed, positioning you at the edge while he stood in front of you. This wasn’t going to be gentle and tender, this was animalistic, wild, and desperate. Draco was rough and it had you weak at his fingertips.

“He will never touch you again!” Draco snarled, his hand wrapping around your throat and squeezing. You were pinned to the bed, and he pulled your thighs apart, putting a knee on the bed to balance in front of you.

“Never,” you shook your head, finding a hold on his shoulders. He kissed you deeply, full of need and force. He swallowed your quiet moans, and your fingers tangled in his hair as he sank into you. You tightened your arms around him as he began to move, giving you a moment to breath before he started to slam into you with the pent up jealousy, hurt, and regret of the last three weeks. 

The walls of the Room of Requirement absorbed your moans and yells, keeping your secrets safe within them. Draco released your neck and pinned your hands above his head, hitting places that sent shudders of pleasure through your body. 

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” Draco breathed, shocking you with the kind honesty. You pulled him down onto you and the rough aggression faded. He rocked into you gently, kissing your neck, your bodies fully pressed together. 

“I love you so much, I’m so sorry. I’m never going to let you go again.”

You kissed him passionately, the tension in your body releasing as waves of emotion flooded through you. 

“I love you, Draco.”

[bloodycassian]

Reader x Rhys - Traitor.

  hi! i was thinking a bat boi x reader where the reader ”betrays” them but the reader is doing it to save the night court (they don’t know that until later tho) and the reader is exiled from the night court before the inner circle realises the reader did it to save them <3 (you can pick the bat boi :) Reader is a double agent - originally from Autumn court. The reader has allied themselves with the Night court after Autumn and Hybern began working together. Reader still poses as an Autumn court informant to Beron.

  This was a challenge for me, thank you for that!

They would be their own downfall. You knew they would do absolutely anything to protect Velaris and its citizens. Amren was the only one who seemed to be on your side regarding the risky method. Rhys outright refused. Which was why you had to pave the way to allow Beron's army in. Or, at least make them all think that was what you'd done. You spent weeks forging your plan, heart sinking with every tough decision to be made. Which buildings would be sacrificed, how to get the people of the city out without giving yourself away. Beron would be pissed off, but he wouldn't dare to actually march his army into Velaris. You had fed him enough information to make him hesitate at that idea. Plus, they were busy ruining the Summer court. But you doubted that the King of Hybern knew that. Beron liked to keep his soldiers tame and under his rule by allowing them free reign after battles. So you waited on your informants to get back to you to confirm. Like a spider waiting for it's trap to be set. If the king thought his own ally in the Autumn court had already sacked Velaris, he wouldn't make the stop there. He didn't want to ruin his own pride, wasting his first grand attack on a measly city that was already losing their battle. He would continue for the next city down the line that hadn't been trifled with yet. It was a risk and you knew it - playing the king's arrogance. So you covered all your bases, and you set fires. Got yourself the biggest Illusion spell you could find. A massive one that had cost you half your bank account for all the materials you needed to create it. Your lips trembled as you said the enchantment over the potion. You told yourself it would work. It had to. You packed your bag and tightened it on your back before you set off. Hurting Rhys would be the hardest part. You debated the plan all together because of the fracture it would cause. But you knew it was the only way to keep him safe from his need to protect his home. The city he built from the ground up. You tried to push those thoughts away until the day of your heist. Which seemed to come around much too soon. You led Rhys and Azriel far out of Velaris the hour before the potion was to be set off. You spun them a story of scouts watching from the south. You weren't even halfway to your destination when the screams started, a loud cracking sound ringing out over the land. The potions had worked. Your face went pale at Rhy's rage filled gaze. The hurt and devastation there. You didn't doubt the scene in the city looked much worse than you knew it to be. Rhys grabbed you by the wing and tugged you down forcefully. It was not what you were expecting, you thought his first move would be to use his power to make you paralyzed. You felt those claws lurking, but they seemed to hesitate. You spun, and were able to kick his hand off of you before you hit the ground with him. Azriel held him back, not understanding fully what you'd done. Az removed his hand once Rhys had filled him in, mentally speaking to his brother. A flash of shock and hurt lingered there even after Rhys told him. Shame built in your gut. You knew you weren't betraying them. You kept your shields up though, they had to think you would do such a thing. It would make the fight more believable to the king. It would force him away from Velaris. "Get out of this territory. Now. Do not come back." Rhys growled, watching the fake army invade his home. His chest heaved, those claws digging lightly at your shields. Perhaps he was afraid to go against someone he trained in the Daemati ways. You dared not open your mind to him. "Rhys I-" You began, stopping when he gave you the iciest glare you'd ever seen. His eyes were alight with rage. The trees seemed to quiver from the dark power that rushed to him. He pointed a finger at you, a curse. "Leave. Now." The command made your knees shake. Azriel looked away in shame. "There will be no second chances." He ground out. You could nearly hear his teeth clamping together. Holding himself back. You could hear Cassian calling orders far in the distance. Good, the scramble and panic would make the show more believable. The ships would be visible any second if your inside information was to be believed. Happiness for the safety of the city was your first reason for tears, the next was Fear. Fear settled in your gut, not moving no matter how much you re assured yourself. Not fear for Velaris, but for own alliances with any court. There would be a hit out for you, betraying Beron and the King and potentially Rhys depending how angry he would be about your Illusion spell. Those ships would surely be paying a visit to Beron after seeing his forces attacking without the order to do so. You backed away from Rhys slowly, like he was a wild animal. "Rhys, come on. We need to help." Azriel placed a hand on his shoulder to break him out of the rage filled trance. Rhy's last glance to you was something like death itself. You shuddered, and bit the inside of your cheek to keep from telling him the truth. The fact he would believe that you would double cross him stung a bit. But you knew enough of the bad blood between Night and Autumn that you weren't incredibly offended. He shook his head ever so slightly. Disgust, before turning away. They took off together, quickly flying back to Velaris while the king's dark sails fired a few cannon shots into the docks, but kept sailing. Your hope soared at the sight of their departure. Watching those sails turn direction, then keep going. You could have cheered. Your plan wasn't done yet. You took off to Day court. The potions in your bag secure and ready. + When Rhys landed in his city the ground beneath him cracked.  The Autumn court soldiers kept marching around him. Cassian joined him, assessing the threat that did not attack. Rhys reached out a mental hand to the area and found there was nothing to latch on to. Nothing to torment for information. Cassian was at a loss as well, and reached out a hand to a solider. Only for it to break and slide through his fingers like water. His blood ran cold. "Fuck." Rhys breathed, utterly still. They looked to each other, then Rhys blanched in horror - "I promised them death." He whispered, voice hoarse. Cassian's eyes went wide, and they shot into the air at the same time. + Overlooking Day court, you heard Rhys approaching before you saw him. "They're all going to die." You said, voice trembling. You watched the scene below as it unfolded. The ships docked one after another, terrible dark forces lurched into the city. Overwhelming the guards and front linemen. "I'm sorry." He said. "We can help. I can help. I'm sorry." He said again, shame washing over his face. "I owe you everything." Your heart soared at the words, despite the destruction below. "Can you get the Illyrians here to help?" You nodded toward the front that pushed through. The streets already stained with blood and littered with bodies from both sides. Rhys nodded, and nodded to Azriel behind him. The spy curled his shadows around himself and winnowed away, off to summon the Illyrians. Cassian had a wide grin on his face, and stretched his wings, ready to take flight down to the city and help. His siphons thrummed with anticipation. Rhys gave him a nod as well, and he took off. The screams and clash of steel below quieted, then roared back to life with another wave of Summer court forces hitting the enemy lines. Rhys sighed, his dark power curling around the hillside. "I am beyond words with you. I'm pissed, but I'm... awestruck." He took your hand without looking, running a thumb over apologetically. As if he was asking permission. You squeezed back, then gave him a soft smile. "Let's get to work." You dropped your bag to the ground and pulled out two more potions. You handed them to him, then pulled your blade from its sheathe. Rhys hummed in approval at the sight of your handiwork. He held up the dark liquid and admired it. "Remind me to give you a raise." He said, shaking the glass. You held his hand in place before he could shake it again. The sparkles from the enchanted sand inside swirled. "You're going to get me a new house. And a raise." You took the bottle from him, and winked. You leapt down the slope and into the air, flying faster when you heard his laugh gaining on you. A promise of violence against the King's army was laced with that laugh. An underlying darkness. You smiled wickedly and tossed your concoction to the ground far below. Setting your spellbound illusions free.

[earthlyyan]

Little Trainee (Platonic(?)Yan! Childe x Reader)

For @bye-bye-sunbird (thanks again for your help) Warnings: Abuse, Graphic descriptions of violence, Implied Torture, Eye Trauma, Unhealthy Sibling relationships, Childe being a sadist, Kidnapping? If you squint? Imprisonment? Betrayal 

Word Count: 3084

________________________________________________________________

He was gone.

Tartaglia held his younger brother’s fur-lined cap in his calloused hands, bringing it close to his chest. He’d taken off without it, wanting to be as far away from the killer that was his big brother so badly, he’d neglected to dress for the cold.

Despite his best efforts, Tartaglia had been unable to find him, and though tempted, he had refused to get the Fatui involved. It would further remind Teucer that his brother’s job was a terrifying one, too dark for the mind of a child to fully grasp. A child’s mind would never truly grasp why he had to kill, only that he had taken the life of another. And how that was an unforgivable sin.

He’d requested a day off work to prevent him from making any rash decisions on duty. He’d spent the day wandering aimlessly, desperately trying to gather his thoughts. He’d found himself in the familiar shambles of Dunyu Ruins. Perhaps he’d take out his frustrations on some ruin guards, or at least he’d considered it, until he saw you.

*

In and out and in and out.

Your sword found its way into the ruin guards eye again and again. It had been dead after the first thirteen stabs, but you didn’t care.

Your thrusts were becoming harder to maintain, your shallow breaths and sore arms halting your rage filled pursuit. Your legs straddled its large, heavy body, thick vines restrained its arms and legs.

It killed him. It killed your brother. The laser sliced his body while simultaneously cauterizing the wound, leaving him in two, unable to bleed. His face still frozen in that of agonizing pain.

It was going to kill you as well until a blinding green light appeared before you; a dendro vision.

You didn’t know how you did it, but now it was dead, and the gift of the archons laid on the ground before you. You hated it.

A gift of the gods, what a fucking joke.

You choked back the urge to vomit at the rancid scent before removing your sword from the gaping glass wound.

You kicked the hunk of metal as hard as you could before losing your balance and falling back onto the ground.

A man stood there; a couple years older than you. You’d fallen right at his feet.

He wordlessly helped you up off the ground before clearing his throat, as if to clear the air with it.

“You know, I’ve never seen someone receive a vision before.” His voice was light and airy. “I had been walking when it’s light blinded me. I regret not showing up sooner.”

You refused to look at the strange man, his words not registering. Your mind was too busy trying to process what had just happened.

“Hey,” His voice was louder, shaking you from your stunned stupor. He held out a handkerchief from his pocket. “You should probably get out of—”

“He’s dead.”

The man’s brow furrowed. “I’m sorry?”

“That thing killed him. He’s dead.” Your words were empty. You contemplated if you should be feeling anything else other than thinly veiled anger and disgust. You should’ve been sadder. The only thing you had felt at the time of you mindlessly stabbing the guard was desperation for your own survival, and fear that it would get up again. You were revolted at the sight of the corpse before you, but you weren’t terribly torn up about the death in itself. And that disgusted you.

Anyone else would’ve been. Anyone would’ve been devastated if they had watched their own kin get cut in two. But no, you were more worried about what you’d tell your mother.

You walked over to the remains of your brother and poked it with your foot, your blatant disrespect for the dead caught the man off guard. Your gut did flips in your stomach at the gruesome sight.

“You don’t seem too upset about it.” He seemed to lack the same feeling of fear at the sight of a corpse. You didn’t quite know how to feel about that. “Though, you don’t seem like you’ve got the guts to orchestrate it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He laughed. “The way you kept stabbing the poor ruin guard made me think it was self-defense, and that the death was an accident. But the fact that you’re not devastated at his death made me wonder that you did it intentionally.”

“And if it was?” “Then I think I’d applaud your ambition.”

*

The man introduced himself as Childe, a member of the Snezhnayan organization called the Fatui. He claimed to be a warrior of sorts, and that he had gone to Dunyu Ruins to take out some frustrations he had one some ruin guards. He then had stumbled across you stabbing a lifeless robot corpse.

He had treated you to lunch in Liyue, saying that leaving you to stew in your thoughts after witnessing something of that caliber was ill-advised.

“What were you doing in Dunyu Ruins?”

“My brother wanted to do something there. He wouldn’t tell me what it was.” You mumbled.

“And the sword?”

“The sword I have with me was the one he was carrying, but when his torso disconnected from his legs, his scabbard landed close to me. So I thought I might as well use it.” You stirred your soup with your spoon, not having much of an appetite.

“So why did he have the sword?”

“Archons know.” You sighed. “If I’m being frank, I think he was going to kill me.”

Childe lowered his tigerfish from his mouth. A light laugh left his lips, startling you. “What makes you think that?”

“I was father’s favorite, though I am the younger of the two of us. So when he found out he had left the inheritance to me instead of his eldest son, he thought it unfair.” You reluctantly brought the spoon to your lips and swallowed. “We had never gotten along; I was like a punching bag than his younger sibling.”

“And I suppose that’s why you’re not crying and mourning the loss?” His voice was mocking.

“Well, would you?”

Childe hummed. “I’m not sure, family is family, but…” his voice lowered into an inaudible mumble, pondering.

He was silent for a moment. He took a few bites of his grilled tigerfish. His eyes wandered to the scabbard at your hip. “You don’t know how to fight.”

“What? Where did this come from?” He hadn’t even finished his thought from before.

“The way you were holding the sword as you used it to kill the ruin guard was way off. Had you kept going, you could’ve gotten hurt. If you had held it properly you could still be stabbing it now. If you didn’t get that vision when you did, it could’ve killed you with how poorly you were handling yourself.”

“That’s the whole point of getting bestowed a vision. Saving you when you’re on the brink of death or something like that.” You shoved your spoon in your mouth again.

“Yes, true.” He sighed and set down the now empty skewer. “But if you hadn’t gotten it you would’ve ended up like—” “Okay jeez I get it!” You grumbled around the metal in your mouth. “What are you getting at?”

“Luckily for you, I’m quite skilled at the sword.” His chest puffed in pride. “And it’s not like you’re going to go home with half a brother in tow, yes?”

“So you want to train me? What good does that do you?” “I’ve always wanted to train someone in a weapon.” He smiled, though there was a tinge of sadness in his voice. Like he was looking forward to it before the invitation presented itself. “And now, I can.”

*

You were on the ground again, some shallow, superficial cuts littered your body, Childe’s blade inches from your throat.

“You left yourself open again. I told you this weeks ago and yet you can’t get it.” A disappointed sigh escaped his lips as he pinged the bridge of his nose. “Hunch, keep your legs apart, again.”

Some part of you wondered if Childe got off on hearing your groans and hisses when he slashed you. Something about the way he bounced on his legs and the way his grin seemed more genuine had you worried.

You slowly got yourself off the ground, your bones and muscles creaking in protest as you readied your brother’s blade again.

“If you’re sore it means its working.” His laugh echoed as he lunged himself at you again, leaving you a moment notice to swerve out of the way. “If you weren’t sore before it means you were doing it wrong.” He dodged an oncoming attack from your sword and swept your legs, leaving you on the floor again. Yup, he was definitely getting off on this.

*

Three months under Childe’s tutelage toned your body significantly. He seemed to be more eager to fight you these days. Saying that you were finally getting fun to fight or something like that.

“Despite your form issues in the beginning, you’re practically a natural.” He beamed as he extended a hand to you. “Fighting you is actually fun these days, and less boring.”

“It was boring before?” You were borderline insulted.

“Fighting against you was boring. Seeing you grow and mature as a fighter was interesting.”

“Uh huh.” You wiped the sweat from your brow. “Sure.”

He’d been gracious enough to let you room at his house. And for someone of his age, it was quite impressive for him to have one of this stature. You had your own room across the hall from his. He only had two rules when staying with him.

One: The lower levels were off limits. No matter what. He said that it had to do with his work, and that it would be unprofessional of him to allow someone to interfere.

Two: Don’t ask about his work.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious about it. Sometimes he’d leave for days on end and come back beat up, other times you’d hear noises from the lower levels.

They sounded like screams.

You wondered what he’d have to do for a living to hear such noises from below. Sometimes he’d go down for hours and come up itching for a fight with you, other times he’d leave satisfied and covered in blood. You’d wondered if it was his own.

Something about it didn’t sit right with you, but a fight with Childe was not one you wanted to engage in. He’d know all your moves, considering he’d been the one to teach them to you. Whenever you’d try to bring it up, you’d be shut down with an uncharacteristic coldness from him. One that barely used, only when he was talking about his work, that is.

But tonight the screams were louder. They reached your room in the depths of the night, even with the door closed and pillows blocking your ears. You had to know.

You were sick of being left in the dark here, you were sick of hearing those screams from downstairs. You had to know.

Were you training under a serial killer? Childe didn’t seem like the type, or was he?

The strange amount of pleasure he’d get when watching you get hurt by his hand. The ruthless way he’d slaughter hillichurls and treasure hoarders alike. No matter who or what it was, its death was no different to Childe. It seemed to light him ablaze, having him itching for a fight with anything that moved, and when it stopped moving, he’d be disappointed.

 The screams had died down after a few hours. You had to wait until you heard his boots go back upstairs and into the room across the hall.

You had to be more quiet if you were going to get in and out of there before he noticed you.

After these escapades he would take a shower, the running water would be enough to cover your footsteps going down the hall, truly.

A minute after the shower started running you made your move. It was easy to pick out what door led to the basement, due to the sheer amount of deadbolts and locks keeping it closed. He’d left the key in the door, probably to stop whoever was in the basement from looking through the keyhole. Smart move for him when it came to living alone, but with company, it was practically begging to be used.

And use it you did. Deadbolt after deadbolt, you finally turned the key.

The basement was warm and sweet smelling. But not in the pleasant way sweets were supposed to smell.

It made your stomach ache and twist as you descended the staircase, closing the door behind you.

The clinking of chains got your attention before the sight of blood had. The lights had flickered on, illuminating the sight before you. You couldn’t hold back your vomit anymore.

Your suspicions were right, or so it seemed, with the sheer amount of bodies below. One was still living, trembling, and hunching away from you. “Did Childe do this?” You knew the answer but had to be sure. Perhaps it was an associate he worked with, or some weird fetish.

The man nodded, “I didn’t have enough money.”

“What?”

“To pay back the Northland Bank.” He stammered. “I couldn’t pay them back, so they sent him.”

“He’s a debt collector?”

The man shook his head. “No. He doesn’t care about collecting the debt, not like the others.”

There were others?

“He gets sent in after the warning deadlines are up. You pay with your—”

The man abruptly stopped, looking past you and onto the stairwell. Then he couldn’t see at all.

An arrow flew past you, barely grazing your ear before finding itself in the mans eye socket. He slumped to the ground, lifeless. You whizzed around to meet the source, only to find Childe, an arrow drawn taught in the bow you’d barely see leave his side.

“Well that’s disappointing.” He sighed. “I was hoping to make him last another day.” He grimaced. “That was a warning shot, by the way.” He walked down the stairs slowly, still aiming at you. “Put your back to the wall.”

He almost sounded sad. You were too shocked to move.

An arrow landed at your feet, standing straight up against the ground. “I said ­put your back to the wall. That wasn’t a suggestion.”

You tripped over the man’s corpse while making it to the wall. “Childe I—” “Nope, too late for that. Hands up.” He slowly lowered his weapon and made a show of putting it away. He wanted you to know he still had it. He leaned in close to your face. “Now that’s a look I haven’t seen in quite some time.” His voice was low, husky. “Betrayal looks so good on you.”

You could feel his hot breath on your neck. You growled and threw your head forward, colliding with his. He took a step back.

Blood ran down from his forehead, his eyes practically glowing with excitement. “Oh hoh~ Now that’s what I’m talking about. A real fight from you.” He drew hydro blades from his sides and threw one at you. “I’m expecting improvement from you, my little trainee.”

You picked up the cool blade from your feet, never breaking eye-contact with him. “I’ll kill you.”

“You better hope you do. For your sake, at least.” You lunged at him, swiftly finding your way behind him, ready to strike.

“Your stance has gotten better.” He smiled. “But I’m afraid it still leaves you open” He kicked off from the ground and into the air, his foot collided with your chin sending you reeling.

“You bastard.” You hissed, picking yourself off from the ground with the steadiness of a newborn deer. “Why not be more quiet about your escapades down here? If you’d had your victims quiet down, I would’ve never found about what you were doing.”

“I never said I never wanted you to find out what I was doing.” He ran at you again, slicing your shirt and your left shoulder along with it. “I was hoping you’d have enough faith in your teacher to follow my rules.” He sighed. “I didn’t take you for the curious type.”

“I’m not.” You said, you swept at his leg, but he narrowly escaped, jumping just high enough to miss it. “But I enjoy liking to sleep in peace knowing my upperclassmen isn’t a serial killer.”

“I’m no serial killer!” He laughed, landing a cut to your lower back, then stepping hard on it. You fell to the ground trapped under his heel. “I’m simply following orders. I have nothing against these people.” He pressed harder.

You suppressed a scream.

“I do have a problem with those who interfere. You were going to help him, weren’t you?”

You’d be lying if you said you were going to leave him to die.

“Weren’t you?” His voice was closer to your ear this go round.

“Yes! Yes, I was!” You sobbed. “I just wanted to—”

“I’ve heard this before. Suddenly you have the moral upright to save a dying stranger? But you sat back and kicked your brother’s corpse?”

“That was different!” “Sure it was. A man is a man is a man, yeah?” His foot lifted from your back and turned you onto your stomach. “See the difference between me and a serial killer, is that if I was a serial killer, I probably would kill you right now.” He sighed. “But see, I like you. So I think I’ll let you live. Though don’t expect things to go back to normal. I can’t expect you to stay quiet and continue your training in the open alongside me.” He leaned you up against the wall, easily fighting against your protests. He took your wrists and cuffed them to the wall.

The restraints were still warm.

You shuddered.

“See, here’s the thing.” He said. He cupped your cheek with his spare hand. “I don’t want to leave you the way you are, half trained. I do enjoy fighting you.” He finished tying you upright and smiled, admiring his handiwork. “I’ll let you go under one condition.”

For the first time since you’d met him, his smile finally reached his eyes.

“You’re free if you can kill me.”

[cosmicjoke]

So I just got through chapter’s 51 and 52 of Attack on Titan, and one thing that stuck out to me in 51, other than Levi’s obvious, deep anger with Erwin, which I’ll talk about in a minute, was how Levi made it a point to tell Connie that he’d done a good job after coming back with Hange from investigating his village.  Once again we see here Levi’s immense compassion for other people.  Nobody else really thought to give Connie that encouragement, despite his obvious distress in that moment.  They all were aware that Connie had lost everyone in his village, including his family, so it really demonstrates Levi’s thoughtfulness, once again, for other people and what they’re going through, that he takes the time to say just a few, kind words to Connie here.  

Then of course, there’s the big exchange in this chapter between Levi and Erwin, and there’s so much going on here.  But the first thing I noticed is the shift in Levi’s attitude, after he notices Erwin smiling upon hearing Hange’s theory about the Titan’s being humans.  At the beginning of this scene, Levi is showing Erwin a great deal of concern for his physical state, apologizing to him for him and Pixis showing up to talk, knowing how tired he must still be, saying to Erwin that he’ll understand if he would rather him and Pixis just come back later so he can keep sleeping.  Levi is giving Erwin the option here to deal with all of these new developments that they’re all dealing with later, and that offers a really insightful glimpse into the kind of respect and consideration Levi has for Erwin leading up to this point in the story.

What’s really interesting is the shift in Levi’s attitude here, after he sees Erwin smiling.  Levi starts to try and ask Erwin a question, after Hange’s revelations about the Titans, and he sees Erwin smiling to himself with a glazed, distant look in his eyes, and Levi’s horror is readily apparent.  He figures out almost immediately that Erwin is excited by this news, and Levi’s reaction is one of repulsion.  He even tells Erwin that he’s going to make him sick.  I think Levi’s reaction here is also partly fueled by his own feelings of deep dismay and horror at learning that all this time, he’s been killing other human beings.  So to see Erwin seemingly HAPPY about this revelation must seem particularly grotesque to Levi in that moment, while he’s dealing with his own feelings of guilt and despair and hopelessness.  Levi’s anger here is REALLY obvious, as he asks Erwin if this is the real reason he joined the Survey Corps.  We see Levi’s belief in Erwin starting to erode here, in real time.  Part of Levi’s anger, I think, must also stem from knowing that he’s put his faith entirely in Erwin, followed him with full belief in Erwin’s altruistic intentions, but now he has to face the possibility that his faith has been misplaced, that indeed the very REASON he joined the Corps to begin with, his faith in Erwin and his greater vision, may have been built on a lie.  This coming on the heels of realizing that Titans were actually humans, and he’s dedicated himself to killing them for years.  All of this leads you to really understand Levi’s controlled fury at Erwin in this scene.  When Erwin gets annoyed himself at Levi and tells him to lay off of him, and asks him to show him some pity, Levi says with obvious derision that, yeah, Erwin IS pitiful.  We see later in the scene Levi turn Erwin’s own words back on him, about him being mentally and physically exhausted, almost mocking Erwin with them as he reveals to him that he’s chosen to make the 104th his new squad and had Eren and Historia moved to an isolated location.  Levi’s anger here is really palpable, and it demonstrates the tension I think Levi’s probably always had with Erwin and their relationship.

Levi respects Erwin immensely, and I have no doubt he’d been ready to tell Erwin about his plans for the 104th with a lot more cordiality and willingness to involve him in that decision before Erwin’s motivations became revealed to him here.  But there’s always been that kind of conflict between them too, where Levi was willing to put his faith totally in Erwin’s vision, and in his ability to make the right choices, in order to advance the cause of humanity, but at the same time, felt deeply uncomfortable at times with Erwin’s methods towards achieving that goal, his willingness to sacrifice the lives of so many to that end, often resulting in the deaths of soldiers with no, substantial gain to be had.  He’s deeply aware of Erwin’s ruthlessness in getting the job done (we see that awareness later in chapter 52, when he asks Hange if they should run or kill their enemies before they can strike, and says it’s just like something Erwin would do when Hange says both).  It was Levi’s faith in Erwin, though, and his belief in Erwin’s purity and the righteousness of his cause, that allowed Levi to put his misgivings about Erwin’s methods aside, because he fully believed Erwin’s intentions were only to benefit humanity, and win them back their freedom someday.  So seeing Erwin smiling here, and having that faith in Erwin’s intentions thrown into question, alongside the awful revelation that Titan’s are actually humans, is obviously a pretty devastating blow to Levi’s own sense of balance and place, throwing into doubt what it is he’s been fighting for all this time, whether it was even real or not.  It’s like in one, fell swoop, Levi’s lost any amount of certainty in both what they’ve all been fighting for this whole time, and in the person he had put the most faith and trust in to guide them in the right direction.  I’m not sure how people could miss Levi’s anger towards Erwin here, or the reasons for it.  Levi is shown something in Erwin that makes him seriously doubt whether Erwin actually cares about humanity at all, or people at all.  Erwin appears happy that it turned out that Titan’s were humans, and Levi has no context, no way of knowing WHY Erwin would be happy about that.  He doesn’t know about his father, or the things his father told him, or how his father died.  So to Levi, it must just seem like Erwin is getting some sort of sick joy out of the revelation.  Again, to see something like that in the person you believed in the most, a person you admired deeply and thought of as superior to you, as holding a greater vision than you ever could, would be really, really hard.  It’s like Levi’s hero letting him down in the worst way possible.  

I think this should also be looked at in the context of Levi’s own experiences in life, and how that shaped his world view.  Levi comes from an extremely hard, deprived background, one of extreme poverty and desperation and violence.  That background, that difficult childhood, resulted in a necessary cynicism and jadedness in Levi.  He knows the way the world works, knows how hard life is, and how cruel and ruthless people can be.  He grew up in a world where there was no pretense, no civility or politeness to hide behind.  He grew up in a world where it was kill or be killed.  We see this weary understanding of how things really are later, again, in chapter 52, when Levi is explaining to Hange and the rest that they have two options, because the MP’s and those they work for aren’t going to just give up on getting their hands on Eren and Historia.  He knows they’re only going to try more forcefully and violently to get what they want, because that’s the way the world works, and that’s the way people are.  He also shows his worldly understanding of these sorts of things when he asks Hange how many of Nick’s fingernails they pulled, and knows that Nick likely didn’t talk because they pulled more than one.  It tells us about Levi’s experience and how he’s been exposed to the darker, crueler side of humanity, more than anyone else in that room.

So Levi also understands that if they just wait around, they’ll all eventually be killed.  He understands they can’t be passive here, and have to act immediately.  He impresses that reality unto Hange, who’s still reeling from Nick’s death, and forces her to make a decision as to what their next move should be.  He doesn’t allow her to wallow in her despair, and he does this for the sake of Eren and Historia, and all of them.  Once again, we see Levi being most concerned for the greater good, ready to act however is needed to help the most people.  He knows Hange is hurting, but he knows also that none of them can afford to be, as he says to her, timid.  They have to move.  Well, anyway, my point that I’m trying to make is that Levi’s life experience has forced him to be cynical about other people’s motivations and characters, about concepts of nobility and morality.  To look at other people’s true intentions with a skeptical eye, because he grew up in a cut-throat environment, exposed to deep poverty, trauma and pain, where people no doubt would turn on you, or abandon you in a moment for nothing more than a scrap of bread.  With that in mind, you have to realize that Levi’s faith in Erwin is rather remarkable.  That he’s able to BELIEVE that deeply in another person, to believe in another person’s goodness, and purity of intention, given Levi’s background and the life he’s lived, is extraordinary, and really tells us so much about who Levi really is.  Despite every experience in his life informing him  that he should be skeptical and cynical and mistrustful of people and their intentions, despite his every experience telling him that the world is a cruel, ugly, awful place filled with loss, pain and grief, Levi still wants so much to believe in something better.  To believe in purity of hearts and intentions, to believe in a higher morality and goodness.  And despite all of his life experience telling him otherwise, Levi is able to believe that’s who Erwin is.  A person with a higher, better moral standing, a person with a pure and true heart.  He believes it all the way.  So, to then have that faith, which Levi somehow held onto against all odds and reason, dashed against the rocks in a single, terrible moment of realization, would be horrible.  Levi is someone who wants so much to believe there can be a better world, with better people in it.  And I think Erwin represented that possibility to Levi, for a long time.  And so to learn that his belief in Erwin was, perhaps, too idealistic, to have that skepticism that his life’s beaten into him affirmed, rather than rejected, must have felt like the worst kind of betrayal to Levi, and just a crushing disappointment.

Of course, Erwin later is able to prove to Levi that his faith in him wasn’t misplaced, as he lives up to the ideal Levi saw in him to begin with, with Levi’s help and encouragement.  But that’s a different post altogether!  When I get to that part of the manga, I’ll be positing about it as well.

Also, Hange’s own sense of horrible guilt and remorse in these chapters, both over realizing she’d been experimenting on human’s this whole time, and over Nick’s death, was an amazing parallel to Levi’s.  I think the two of them share so many similar feelings and such a similar depth of feeling over everything.  Always trying to do the right thing, and struggling so much with whether the choices they make are the right choices, or whether any of this is worth the sacrifices they’re forced to make.

[nextdoor-neighbors]

It’s Always Been You

Request: @divergirl99

Hey could I get a Fred x reader where maybe the reader is ginny or Rons best friend since they were young and the weasleys are all protective of here especially the twins and maybe they find her upset cause he boyfriend cheated and Fred gets angry and ends up getting in a fight with the ex and then confesses?

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, violence (punching), blood

You walk down the corridors of school, on the search for your boyfriend, Adrian Pucey. You have a free period - your last period of the day before dinner - and you know he does, too, which usually you spend together, but today, you can’t find him.

“Ron,” you call when you see your best friend, who’s walking with Harry. He looks up at the sound of your voice and smiles, turning to say something to Harry before making his way over to you.

“Hey, Y/N. What’s going on?”

“Have you seen Adrian? I can’t find him anywhere.”

Ron frowns. He’s never been a fan of Adrian, with him being a Slytherin and all, but considering Adrian has always treated you well, Ron has kept his mouth shut over the last few months that you’ve been in your relationship.

“No, I haven’t,” Ron says, “but I’ll let him know you’re looking for him if I do.”

You smile and thank him before continuing your search. You turn down a hall of empty classrooms, not sure why he would be down here, but you decide to look anyway. You peer into the classrooms, stopping abruptly when you stop two figures in one of them, locked in what appears to be a passionate snog session. You blush at catching them, averting your eyes, but quickly do a double-take when you think that you recognize one of the figures.

You know that messy black hair and Quidditch jumper all too well.

You shove open the door to the classroom, and the two jump apart in shock at the noise. You make eye contact with Adrian, your heart dropping to your stomach, and immediately turn to leave, tears already burning at the backs of your eyes.

“No, no, Y/N, I promise, it wasn’t what it looked like, I-” he calls after you, but you keep walking away, past the few other students in the halls with your head down and tears blurring your vision. You don’t know how to feel; you’re devastated, because you didn’t think he would ever do something like this to you, but you’re also shaking from your rage, and as much as you want to scream at him, you don’t think you can do so without sobbing. So, you opt for the silent treatment.

Eventually Adrian gives up calling after you, so, you hide out in the prefects’ bathroom for the rest of the period. You don’t want to show your face at dinner, in case he tries to talk to you, but the grumble of your stomach in the silent bathroom says otherwise.

You push yourself up off the cold tile floor, wiping your tears away as you gaze at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes are red and your skin blotchy from crying your eyes out for the entire period, so you splash some water on your face until you think it’s slightly less noticeable. At least, you hope it is.

You venture out into the halls, already dreading whatever you’re about to face. Your heart aches. You really thought he was a good guy, but of course, you were wrong. Per usual. You always had dated the wrong guys, who all ended up breaking your heart in one way or another. You thought Adrian would be different, and you’re beyond mad at yourself for ever thinking he would be. 

You don’t think you’ll ever find a good guy. I mean, there is someone you’ve always wanted, someone who you think would treat you well, but he’d never want you. Why would he?

You avoid eye contact with anyone as you make your way into the Great Hall, finding your normal spot between Ron and Ginny. You had hoped they wouldn’t ask questions, or that you could play off your heartbreak well enough that they wouldn’t notice, but then again, you’ve been friends with the Weasley family since forever. They’re all very protective of you, especially the twins, who are two years older than you. Of course someone is bound to notice.

Sure enough, before you even fully sit down, George - who’s sitting across from you - says, “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

You look up at him, forcing a very weak smile and shaking your head.

“Nothing,” you say quietly.

“That’s bullshit,” Fred adds, his eyebrows furrowing in his concern, “You can tell us.”

You look at Fred, and just as you’re about to admit what happened, Adrian comes up behind him. You look up at him, and Fred must notice the change in your expression as your stomach twists, because he spins around in his seat.

“Y/N, can I talk to you?” Adrian asks. You fight the urge to start crying again as you make eye contact with him, instead, mustering up all of your courage.

“No,” you say, “Adrian, we’re done.”

You don’t even have to look at Ron, Ginny, the twins, or any of the other people listening to know how shocked they probably appear. You watch as Adrian’s face drops, but he doesn’t budge.

“Please, Y/N,” he practically begs.

“Do you not understand what no means, Pucey?” Fred replies before you can, getting up out of his seat and standing up, towering over Adrian.

Adrian’s face immediately twists into a scowl as he looks up at Fred. You can’t find the words to tell Adrian to go away or Fred that it’s okay, you can handle it, as you watch the boys with wide eyes, fearing what’s about to happen next.

“Stay out of it, Weasley,” Adrian snaps, before turning back to you, pleading again, “Y/N, you don’t understand. It was a mistake, and if you’d just let me explain-”

Fred keeps his eyes trained on Adrian, as if daring him to speak to you one more time. You find your words, as the entirety of the Great Hall is listening in on your conversation:

“I think I understand perfectly, Adrian, because there’s not much to explain about why I found you kissing another girl.”

“You did what?” Fred shouts, and you watch as he pushes Adrian with his hands flat on his chest. Adrian falls back, his face contorting in rage. At this point, the other house tables have erupted into noise, students standing up and trying to get a good look at the fight.

Adrian pushes himself up, rushing towards Fred, as Fred yells something about how he just lost the greatest thing that ever happened to him and how he’s going to pay for hurting you.

Adrian’s fist connects with Fred’s jaw, knocking Fred’s head back, but Fred reacts instantly, socking Adrian straight in the nose. The blood starts flowing from Adrian’s nose immediately, and you yell at them to stop, but neither boy listens to you as more punches are thrown.

Thankfully, a few teachers have made their way over, and with a swish of her wand, McGonagall separates the two boys. You stand there, your heart pounding like crazy in your chest, looking between Fred and Adrian, who stand a few feet apart, giving each other the death glare. Adrian wipes his sleeve across his nose, smearing his blood all over the fabric. You’re sure that he’s going to have a black eye tomorrow, as well. Fred, on the other hand, looks better off, with seemingly only a puffy, split lip.

You’re at a loss for words as you watch Fred and Adrian be escorted out of the Great Hall by Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. Fred looks over as he walks away, and you make eye contact with him for a split second. In that second, he looks you up and down before turning away. Your stomach flips at that, but in a good way.

You don’t know what to say to him later. Do you thank him? You know that Adrian will never bother you again, thanks to this, but you also know that the whole school is going to be talking about this: about Adrian cheating on you, and about Fred’s reaction.

Your heart feels like it’s being squeezed inside your chest as you think about that. Why did Fred react like that? I mean, you know he’s protective of you, but so are George, Ginny, and Ron, and they didn’t jump Adrian like that...

No, you shouldn’t get your hopes up. After all, you need time to recover from today, so you shouldn’t be trying to jump into anything else quite yet, either. But then again, it’s Fred. Your longtime crush, but also your best friend’s older brother. The one guy that you’ve wanted that you always thought was unattainable. He couldn’t possibly see you as anything more, could he?

You excuse yourself from dinner quietly, whispering to Ron that you’ll talk to him later. You’re hoping to find Fred whenever he’s done getting in trouble, but also, hoping to avoid Adrian. He’s the last person you want to see right now.

You hover around the area of Dumbledore’s office, and after several minutes, you hear footsteps. You peer around the corner to see Adrian, walking away from you, thankfully, towards the hospital wing, and Fred, headed towards you.

“Hey,” he says, quietly, offering you a small smile as well as he can, considering his lip is still busted.

“Hi,” you reply, still not sure what to say. You’re really not sure how to process anything that just happened, but you’re going to at least hopefully get Fred’s thoughts on everything.

“Hopefully that asshole learned his lesson,” Fred says bitterly as the two of you walk side by side down the empty corridor, “If he ever bothers you again, you let me know, okay? I’ll take care of him for you.”

“But why?” you ask, stopping in your tracks. Fred stops too, just looking at you, as if nonverbally asking you to elaborate. “Why do you care so much?”

Fred’s eyebrows furrow slightly, but he hesitates before speaking.

“You’re Ron’s best friend. Obviously I’d stand up for you, especially against a prick like Pucey. But...” he trails off, looking over you again. You stay silent, waiting for him to continue.

He looks up to meet your eyes, and this time, angry Fred is gone, and in his place is hesitant, vulnerable Fred. Something that you don’t see often.

“I like you, Y/N. A lot,” he says, and your heart somersaults.

“I know this probably isn’t the best time to tell you,” he continues, “considering everything that just happened, but, I just... it’s always been you, and it pisses me off to see you fall for these guys who treat you like shit instead of like a princess, which is what you deserve.”

For definitely not the first time today, you can’t find the words to reply, but this time, it’s for a good reason. For a moment, you forget about Adrian, about your heartbreak and about the fight, and you cross the small gap between you and Fred, pushing yourself up on your tiptoes to kiss him.

He tastes like the blood from his lip, but when you pull away, you smile, and he smiles back, almost in relief.

“Let’s get that lip of yours fixed up,” you say, “and we can talk more.”

“Absolutely,” Fred replies, reaching for your hand as the two of you start down the hall again. “I’m never going to let any guy hurt you again, Y/N. And I definitely won’t ever hurt you. You can trust me on that.”

And you truly believe him.

[midnightsconspiracy]

Grief-Stricken

Grief-Stricken - @midnightsconspiracy

Summary: Whether hank wanted a baby or not was a question that floated around your mind as you found out you were pregnant. But that didn’t matter now as you find out you lost the baby.

Warnings: MISCARRIAGE, ANGST

Word Count: 1462

Requested: Yes

‘hi! Can I request a hank voight age gap fic where the reader finds out she’s pregnant and is scared to tell hank, but then she ends up having a miscarriage while working a case before she gets to tell him’

A/N: This is sad and has a lot of TW’s so reader digression is advised

Masterlist

Being pregnant with Hank's child was not something you had expected to be, not that it wasn’t welcome, it was just a complete surprise when you found out. You’d only been with the man for a little over eight months, finally getting together after countless sly touches and fleeting glances. It had been a whirlwind of a relationship, the whole time being in your bubble of blissfulness. But that bubble had finally popped when you found yourself staring at a positive pregnancy test. Your first reaction was one of shock and surprise, having been told by the man himself that the doctor informed him that conceiving a child at his age was increasingly hard and there was probably a very slim chance if he did want to try. And you had been ok with that, having come to terms with the fact already, but obviously, you were that one in a million chance. After the initial panic of it all, you were content, knowing that you had always wanted children of your own. What you didn’t know was whether Hank wanted another child, he had obviously told you of your chances, but was that only because he needed to let you down gently? Maybe that was his way of saying he never wanted anymore, so there was no point in even talking about it, let alone trying. Your mind was swimming with all these negative thoughts of what he would say, and so at that moment, you decided not to tell him, instead, bringing it up subtly before breaking the life-altering news.

Deciding to go about your day as yourself, you wiped your eyes, straightening your shirt out in the process before heading out of the station’s locker room and upstairs to the intelligence unit. Antonio had given you a funny look as you returned to your desk, you had brushed it off as monthly hormonal emotions and nothing else, luckily he had believed this allowing you to continue as normal. As the day progressed nothing really seemed to happen, the case you were working running dry, leaving you all agitated at not being able to find anything. The lack of action left you thinking and contemplating over what you wanted in your life, what would happen if he didn’t want this baby? Your heart broke at the thought, you loved him so much, but did you love him enough that if he turned around and said he didn’t want it you would abide and stay? Or would you allow yourself to fight back or hurt yourself for the good of your unborn child? That question remained in your head throughout the day, bringing you to the brink of tears each time, there was no way you would get rid of your baby, but that would mean leaving your lover if it came down to the worst. Luckily for you, the other men had taken your emotional state as what you had told Antonio, not knowing otherwise about what women were like. The time rolled on, everything still seemingly quiet and so you decided that you should talk with Hank a little to try and ease into the conversation. Nerves flew around your body, produces chills along your arms as you walked into his office. He greeted you as normal, not aware that anything was wrong, as you walked up to the side of his desk to lean on the edge.

“I wanted to ask you something” You bought up, hoping that everything was going to be ok and you wouldn't have to choose.

“Go on”

“I know you said kids was something you thought you couldn't have anymore, but what if we were to try despite the small chance.” Trying to hold a confident exterior was tough, the nervous interior eating away at you, hoping to turn yourself into a mess of emotions.

“You mean you want a baby?” He questioned, taken completely off-guard by a topic he thought had already been opened and closed.

“Well, y-yes”

“I don’t know Y/N, after what happened to Justin, the twin, my age and how much work it is, I just don’t think it would be practical for us.” Explaining, irritable from the case as he stood up, getting in your face to spill the harsh reality of it all.

“Ok, I was just asking,” you sighed looking down, refusing to cry even though your heart was cracking slowly, piece by piece.

“You knew this when we started dating, so if you want to find someone else go do that!” He shouted, causing you to jump at the sudden escalation in volume, you just needed to get out of there, not knowing how long you could keep the tears back.

“No-o I don't want that, I was just curious-“ You stuttered out, being cut off by Jay barging into the office, informing you both on the break he had found and so the team was to roll out.

Riding to the location, your eyes were constantly brimmed with tears, trying to stop them, but failing on occasion, both Hank and Olinsky giving you strange looks as you sat in the back of the vehicle. Arriving at the stash house, Voight gave out instructions to each member of the team, yours specifically was to go in the back in first position. So that’s what you did, kicking in the door and spreading out to clear the building. As you went to check one of the rooms in the back, an offender jumped out from behind another door, catching you completely off-guard, leaving you unable to react by using your gun. And so he had a one-up on you, instead of running away choosing to fight, delivering a harsh kick to your stomach before getting on top and punching your face multiple times. During that time things had turned hazy, the only sounds were of his fists hitting your face, and eventually someone pulling him off you before you finally blacked out fully.

Feeling yourself waking up, you attempted to open your eyes, the harsh lights above causing you to close them again. You eventually blinked them open checking your surrounding and realising that you were in a hospital bed, a dull throb radiating from your face and chest. Turning your head to the right you noticed your boyfriend, sat on the chair next to you, head in his hands, trembling. Croaking his name out, his head snapped up at the sound of your voice, taking your face into his hands once he realised you were fully awake, whispering how thankful he was you were ok. Calling for the doctor, Will walked in, a grim look on his face, you having completely forgotten about your baby, you didn't prepare yourself for the news. Clearing his throat, he started by talking about your superficial injuries before moving into the heart-wrenching news. You had lost the baby. You would no longer have to make that decision of Hank or your child, it had already been made for you, by a man who had no idea, and would serve no jail time for the murder of your child. Breaking down at the news, you closed in on yourself, sobbing into your knees. The heartbreaking wails of a distraught mother affecting not only your mourning husband but the rest of the ward, all grieving for you as well. Not being able to take it anymore Will left the room, going to compose his emotions in the doctor's lounge as your husband remained, not knowing how to comfort you. Despite having lost his child as well, Hank didn’t know how to process this, he hadn’t been growing this fetus and so couldn't relate to you in that way. But that didn’t take away from the fact he was equally as devastated, bringing you shaking figure into his arms, whispering ‘it's ok’ over and over again. He knew none of his words could comfort you, the loss of your baby would be with you forever, especially after the fact he had told you that he essentially didn’t want it and that if you had wanted one to find someone else but him. That hurt the most, knowing that maybe this wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t shout at you, or he hadn’t let you go into the field knowing that your emotions were all over the place, but he had, and he could take it back now. He would regret that for the rest of his life. And as you shouted at him to get out of the room, that you wanted to be alone, he stared at your grief-stricken figure through the glass, reminiscing on how much he had messed up, wondering would this bring you closer together or further apart?

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[marvelatthetwilight]

No More Darkness

@fatiguing-thoughts this one is for you! And, as it’s Quil @clearwater-hoe might like this too?!

Quil was your best friend. You did everything together, your families had been friends for years and you had practically known each other since birth. You walked to school together, sat at lunch together, were partners in projects, hung out after school, shared your hopes and your fears, everything that best friends do. Embry and Jacob were like your brothers yes, but with Quil it was always different, like your souls were connected, and you knew each other in a way that no one ever could.

When Embry, and then Jacob disappeared off the face of the earth to suddenly join the Sam gang, you were furious for yourself, but you were devastated for Quil. The whole situation put him on edge, he was constantly anxious that Sam was looking at him in a way he couldn’t really explain, like he knew something Quil didn’t. That somehow Quil was next.

It was after school on a Friday. You were walking on the beach with Quil, talking about Jacob’s recent disappearance and Quil’s strange suspicions.

“I saw Jared and Paul this morning, from a distance of course, and they just had this look in their eyes. Like they were wary of me, watching my behaviour. It’s like they’re waiting for something to happen”. He looked defeated, like he was just waiting for the inevitable. “Y/N I just feel like the darkness is closing in on me, like it did for Embry, like it is for Jacob.”

“Quil you don’t need to feel like that, you know I’ve always been here for you, I will always be there for you. Even if you do join a gang” I nudge him slightly with this last comment and a small smile forms on his face.

“What would I ever do without you Y/N?”

“Lucky for you, you’ll never have to find that out! I don’t plan on going anywhere!” You stop walking and wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him in for one of your famous hugs.

“A Y/N hug never fails to disappoint” you can hear the smile in his voice as he replies as he wraps his arms around your body and gives you a small squeeze.

On Monday morning you head to Quil’s house to walk to school together like you always do.

You hadn’t seen him over the weekend as you’d been dragged to see you grandparents a couple of hours away, which you had told him. He said he was going to catch up on sleep and homework as he had been really tired recently, you thought nothing of it, he’s a teenage boy, that happens.

When he stopped replying to your messages on Sunday, you didn’t initially think anything was wrong, assuming he was just sleeping and hadn’t heard his phone. However, as the day went on, you messaged again, and still heard nothing. When you checked your phone as you woke up Monday morning, you could see he had read your messages but he had still not replied. Something was off.

So here you were, walking up the steps to Quil’s house, about to knock on the door...

The door opens, and you frown as you see Embry step out.

“He can’t see you Y/N, he’s sick. He won’t be coming to school, you need to walk in by yourself.” Embry won’t make eye contact with you, like he knows you will see straight through his lie, but you leave it. You’ve got a big test this morning, you’ll get to the bottom of this later.

“I’ll be back after school.”

“He’ll still be sick then and won’t be able to see you then.” This time he looks down at you, and you take in the changes in the person you saw as a brother. He’s taller, filled out with muscle, not the skinny scrawny boy you grew up with. He has a tattoo on his arm now too, the same tattoo you had seen on Paul and Jared.

“What happened Embry? You look so different. What did Sam do to you?”

He frowns at this. “Sam has helped me, helped us, like he’s going to help Quil. You just need to leave Y/N, I’m sorry.”

With that, he closes the door.

You keep texting Quil throughout the day, hoping that this wasn’t really happening, that you weren’t losing another friend. You heard nothing. The same ghosting as you had from Embry, and Jacob.

You never thought that Quil could ghost you, that your connection was so deep it couldn’t be broken. Quil would never do that, you thought.

There was so much more to all of this than either you or Quil had thought.

You get through your school day, acing your test, but sitting alone at lunch. Alone with your thoughts, putting together a plan. This was the last straw, you rolled over and accepted the loss of Embry, the loss of Jacob, but you weren’t losing Quil.

As the school day finishes you send Quil a final text before you walk back to his house.

I’m coming over. I’m not taking no for an answer. You won’t see me? I’m not leaving.

You walk up the steps to Quil’s front door, again the door opens before you have a chance to knock, but this time you recognise it to be Sam, although you’ve only ever seen him from a distance. Your text must have called in the big guns.

“He can’t see you Y/N, you know this.” He looks at you in sympathy and you can’t stand it.

“But why? Why are you taking all of my friends away? You know I’m completely alone now? Embry, Jacob, Quil, they were my life, my best friends, my family. Now I have no one.” Tears are rolling down your face before you can stop them and a heart wrenching sob leaves your mouth as the words ring true in your heart.

Sam glances behind him and you hear a slight commotion. “Let me see her” you hear. “Embry you know she won’t leave until I do, Sam, let me see her.”

Sam sighs as he pushes the door open fully. You gasp as your eyes fix with Quil’s, his eyes widen and he doesn’t break eye contact as you notice Embry and Sam smirking at each other.

“Er...Quil? Are you ok?” Your voice brings him back to reality, and he shoves Embry as he makes an aww sound whilst looking between the two of you. Quil looks to Sam, who nods and he quickly grabs your hand and starts walking with you towards the woods.

You slow your pace as you reach the edge of the woods. Quil stops, and turns so you are facing each other, he takes both your hands in his and looks into your eyes. He’s never looked at me like this before.

Something stirs inside you, feelings you’d put aside years ago, knowing that nothing would come of them, that Quil would only ever think of you as a sister. But something seemed different.

“There’s a lot I need to explain to you, a lot. But for now I just need to tell you that...you, and me, what we have is really special. For years I’ve loved you, and not like a sister line Embry or Jake. I love you. And now something in me has stirred to give me the confidence to tell you how I really feel.”

Your hands are shaking.

“Y/N, I don’t know if you feel the same, if you’ve ever felt that way about me but I needed to tell you...” Quil looks to the side before speaking again, “you know that darkness I talked about? That feeling of doom? Well, I when I finally understood what was happening, which I promise I will explain, I thought that darkness would disappear. But it didn’t. I still felt it, until that door opened and I looked at you.”

He brings your hands up to his face, kissing them softly.

“One look at you, and, poof, no more darkness”

He smiles softly at you. “You don’t have to say anything, I just needed to be brave, be honest.”

If Quil can be brave then so can I, you thought.

“...I’ve always been in love with you Quil, I feel like our souls are connected in some magical way, that we are, I dunno...it sounds stupid. Like we are soul mates or something.”

He smiles at you again, gently pulling your face up to his and kissing you softly on the lips. He laughs before speaking again.

“Yeah, or something”

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