#he just wanted chazuke

[ssaraexposs]

My precious baby 😭😭

[speaknever12]

When the trope is just a character trying to get over their addiction

[spliqi]

i’m very biased but people acting like atsushi is somehow a bland or unimpressive mc will always be crazy to me because he’s just??? so fucking excellent. i will never get over the way he subverts the classic good guy protagonist trope. his morals being guided not by what society deems right and wrong but by what makes him feel like a good person, and even that can be overridden by his natural inclination to prioritize himself. and we see this from the first chapter. like. hi, my name is atsushi. i love chazuke. i’m going to attack and rob the next person i see, because i’m so hungry. i saved a man from drowning in the river, why isn’t he thanking me? i’ll join his heroic organization even though i don’t want to, because it’s the only way to keep a roof over my head. my two favorite people are ex-mafia members who’ve taken countless lives. my least favorite person is also a mafia member who’s taken countless lives, but it’s different because he’s an asshole to me and my friends. i need kyouka to stay safe, because i care about her, but also because she’s proof that i can help people and that i’m good. today i found out that i killed someone when i was younger, but what did he expect? he hurt me. he deserved it. the man who abused me in childhood died too. he was hit by a truck. it doesn’t matter what his intentions were, because he hurt me. he deserved it. why can’t i stop crying?

[floylia]

ELYSIAN ♫

23. A therapist? ✎

Scaramouche fears no man.

But he does fear four women.

1. Ei — his mother

2. Yae Miko — his mother’s “friend”

3. Nahida — his aunt

4. You — the highlight of his life

There’s no particular order. It depends on the day. Although tonight, that might be the case.

The bamboo pendant lamp hangs beautifully in the intricate walls if Uyuu Restaurant. An order of Tricolor Dango, Shimi Chazuke, Fukuuchi Udon, and Halvamazd scatter along the floor table. Scara settles across his mother. Yae Miko finds the spot next to her and beside him, Nahida chats away with the restaurant owner who introduces himself and the specialties he’d prepared in advance.

Four dishes for four people.

“What a funny guy! What’s his name again?” Yae Miko asks after the owner left.

“I believe it’s Okazaki Rikuto,” Nahida answers as she scans the roster of food available. Scara notices the eagerness in her eyes. Sometimes, his aunt resembles that of a child – if only she wasn’t so perceptive.

“Care to share your thoughts?” Nahida asks.

There it is – as always.

Scara clears his throat, “No. Let’s eat.”

It will have to wait.

Minutes of uncomfortable silence fills the room. A wave of anxiety begins to envelop Scara’s thoughts. Considering his intrepid personality, he’s sure that even outsiders can tell the absurdity of his actions – from fumbling his chopsticks to checking his phone every passing second. It’s a telltale sight. He curses himself.

“Whatever you wanted to discuss with us, you should do it now,” Ei states calmly. Although It’s not a suggestion, rather a demand.

Scara clears his throat a second time. There’s hesitation in his words. But stalling will get him nowhere, “I’ve been seeing someone.”

Yae Miko looks up grinning, “A therapist?”

The urge to say “fuck you” and hold up a middle finger begins to increase.

“Miko,” his mother warns. Scara can’t tell the expression Ei is wearing – he can never tell with her. He hates that. She is uncertainty, someone he’ll never fully understand.

Nahida interjects, “Is it [name]? I’ve seen articles and comments.”

Scara nods.

Always so perceptive.

Yae Miko Gasps, a hand over her mouth, “Oh the poor girl. I can’t believe she chose you.”

“Miko!” Ei screams.

A simple “fuck you” might not be enough. One more comment from the pink haired lady and they’ll have to call the ambulance – and it’s not for the right reasons.

Yae Miko looks at him with false pity, “You do know, it’s bad to lie–”

Ei cuts her off, “When can we meet her?”

Scara is caught off guard in the best way possible.

A genuine smile is written on his mother’s face – satisfaction.

“You should’ve invited her tonight,” Nahida added, “I’m a big fan of her work.”

He’s dreaming. He has to be.

“I had no faith in you,” Yae Miko says matter-of-factly.

Nevermind. He’s not dreaming.

“Look, you were a socially awkward child – a problem child, even now.”

He’s never been in a cat fight, but today might be it. Should he pull the top of her hair first or the bottom? Which one would be more efficient, he wonders. Venti would know.

“I mean Ei, do you remember the time–”

Or perhaps he should ask Heizou for blackmail materials. Then perhaps his mother would finally cut her off. Taking down the Yae Publishing House… What an exciting thought.

Scara tunes out the voice of his primary hater.

“Next time, you and [name] should visit Tenshukaku. I’d love to meet her,” his mother says in-between giggles.

“You’re not upset?” He asks, just to make sure.

Ei looks offended, “Why would I be?”

“Well–” He halts, not sure of what to say, “Because of the scandals…”

He doesn’t care about those trivial issues, but they might.

Nahida giggles, “For someone who doesn’t seem to care about people’s opinions, you sure are obedient today.“

“I just wanted to make sure.”

Ei shakes his head, “I know I never told you this, but I’ve always wanted the best for you,” She hesitates, “I apologize for making it hard for you to tell me simple things like this. I’m not a perfect mother, but I’m glad you’re sharing a part of your life with me – with us.”

He doesn’t know how to respond, merely nods.

If you were here, you would’ve loved them and they would’ve loved you.

He’s sure of that now. He’s wrong for doubting them.

“But anyway, is there something [name] would like? I can send her newly-made desserts from the shop.”

Yae Miko interjects, “Does she read light novels? I can give her a discount.”

“Or maybe she likes plants? Have you given her Padisarahs? Rainbow Roses? It’s supposed to mean passion and romantic encounters,” Nahida suggests.

Ei lights up, “Oh I know! A copy of your childhood photo album – you were an adorable kid.”

“Mom!”

“Hey, I’m sure she’d want it.”

She’s right.

Notes:

in a world where everyone is happy 😃

kept this in the basement for too long

next chapter is the last chapter then the extras

Synopsis: After 7 years of enduring the media’s relentless pursuit of painting you as a villain, you’re forced to go on an indefinite hiatus with a tainted reputation on your head. However, just when you thought your career was over, a certain 5WIRL member wants you to feature on his solo album. Surely, this won’t affect your reputation once more, would it?

Scaramouche x fem!reader

masterlist | previous | next

Taglist (closed): @aruatsu @magicalink @featuredtofu @scarasbaby @veekoko @scaranthropy @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @vernith @thystarsshine @lily-lmao @lovemari @mellowberrie @kunikuzushis-darling @skyoverkill1 @alatusorrow @kukikoooo @kyon-cherri @keiiqq @tzuw1ce @xiaossocksniffer @kaitfae @infinitetrashbag @lvnalxve @lovelypadisarah @ulquiorraswife @sketcheeee @atyour-kitchencounter @pirate-of-the-dark-seas @neiiuna @sn1perz @kazioli @inelenastyle @hearts4shu @wisheslost @Kazeyozuha @kazumiku @eutopiastar @chemiro @bananasquash @mujiwuji @danhenglovebot @cremesluv @boomie-123 @kookiibun @help-whatdoimakemyusername @vavrin @beaniedoodz @misterpoofin @justpeachyteastea @one-and-only-tay @peaceindreams @strxwberryfetish @shutingstar @projectsfantasy @quacking-simp @morgyyyyyyy @cante-lope @k-cris

[zz0nie]

Genshin boys and being "that type of guy to..." P1

‧₊˚✩彡 notes . . . I didn't wanna do hcs, I need to find a few characters I want to look into and do so have some silly little things!! probably not accurate but i think its cute :3

‧₊˚✩彡 chars . . . kaveh, alhaitham, cyno, wanderer

ˊˎ- Kaveh

Kaveh the type of guy to hold you by a small part of your outfit, either by your arm or waist.

ღ "The street is rather busy today," You hum, turning back to look at Kaveh who was closing the door to the café you were both previously discussing plans inside of over lunch.

ღ "Hm, don't want you getting lost either." You've already turned back around when you think he's talking to you, however your 'aww' is shut down instantly by him looking at his Mehrak, refusal all over his face as he decides to silently walk ahead, gently grabbing you by your waist and leading the way as you gush over his behaviour.

ˊˎ- Alhaitham

ღ The type of guy to randomly place items you like to your convenience around your place.

ღ You were currently in a rush, notepad in one hand and the other frantically waving across any surface you came across - all day, you’ve been searching for items to help you and you couldn’t find anything until you got to Alhaitham’s and told him about your dilemma.

ღ Only to be scolded by him, suggesting that you should be more organised next time. Although throughout the rest of the day, you see supplies that you needed. Quickly shouting a “Ill be taking this pencil for a minute! I’ll give it back later!” told him more than enough.

ღ He didn’t get the pencil back, in fact, you lost it again.

ˊˎ- C yno

The type of guy to constantly find excuses to check up on you even while he's out doing tasks.

ღ You were set out for multiple tasks during the day, currently in the morning you were helping Nilou with preparations for an upcoming performance, creating small props to go around the stage.

ღ “Hey, that looks heavy i’ll take it from you.” You tense up before turning around and realising that it was Cyno behind you, already grabbing a box of props off of you. Cyno, who was meant to be investigating another one of his cases was instead helping you.

ღ “Huh- Cyno-! Weren’t you meant to be on another case?” You huffed out, trying to stop him as he swiftly avoids you and places the props in their designated spot.

ღ “Well, I’m on the way, just thought i’d stop through a quicker route..” Cyno manages to call out before he gives you a hand a quick squeeze, which you promptly squeeze back in return for confirmation.

ˊˎ- Wanderer

The type of guy to tellive you to stop doing something but in reality enjoys you doing it.

ღ “Do you like Unagi Chazuke by chance?” You offer him your steaming bowl. “I’ve already ate so i just wondered if you’d like some.”

ღ You received a huff in response, “Yeah right, whatever, where’d you get it from anyway?” He grumbles as it takes the bowl from you having just come back from an adventure.

ღ “Oh i made it myself!” You proudly exclaimed as Wanderer looks you up and down in approval. Yet to your dismay he shrugs you off, “Go clean yourself up i don’t want to be near you while you stink.”

ღ You sigh in defeat and sulk off to get ready, stopping before you fully close the door to hear him quietly eating the food you learnt to prepare for him.

ღ He was sure to teach you his way of making Unagi Chazuke next time.

⇠ next / previous ⇢

[owlobservation]

Itoshi Rin Profile from Egoist Bible Vol.2 (2024)

"I'll defeat Itoshi Sae and carve my name into the world. This is my story!"

Team: Bluelock Eleven

Position: Central Forward (CF)

Weapons: Kicking accuracy, technique, tactical vision, physical ability.

Birthdate: September 9th.

Age: 16 (First year high school)

Zodiac sign: Virgo.

Birthplace: Kanagawa Prefecture (Kamakura City)

Family structure: Father, mother, older brother, himself.

Height: 186 cm.

Foot size: 27.5 cm.

Blood type: A.

Dominant foot: Right.

Favorite soccer player: David Beckham. "I respect his kicks."

Age started playing soccer: For as long as I can remember. "I grew up watching my big brother play."

Motto: “The field is a battlefield”, “Tepid” (habit)

Strengths: I can play soccer. “Anything else doesn’t matter.”

Weaknesses: Unfriendly. “If you don’t like it then don’t bother me.”

Favorite food: Ochazuke. “Especially sea bream chazuke.”

Disliked food: Vinegared dish. “I don’t like sour things.”

Best rice accompaniment: Tuna. “Soy sauce and wasabi combo is the winner. No objection.”

Hobbies: Getting the chills from horror games and horror movies.

Favorite season: Autumn. “I like it when it’s a bit chilly.”

Favorite music: King Gnu in general. “Especially Prayer X.”

Favorite movie: Horror movie in general. “Especially The Shining.”

Favorite manga: Dragon Head and Ciguatera.

Character color: Turquoise Blue.

Favorite animal: Owl. “I’m fascinated by them. I think it’s the eyes.”

Best subjects: Physical Education, Art.

Weak subjects: Calligraphy. “I hate having to write exactly as I’m taught.”

What makes you happy: I don’t know.

What makes you sad: When someone is better at soccer than me. “So far it’s only my big brother.”

Last year’s valentine day chocolates: I don’t remember because I rejected and returned all of them.

Sleep time: 7,5 hours.

Where do you wash first in the bath?: The eyes with warm water

What do you like to buy at the convenient store?: Eye masks that warm the eyes.

Mushroom or Bamboo Shoots?: Mushroom.

What made you cry recently?: I don’t cry.

At what age did you stop receiving presents from Santa?: 8 years old. “When my big brother stopped getting them I followed him and stopped getting them too… Truthfully, I still wanted them.”

What did you ask for a Christmas present from Santa?: The same cleats as my big brother.

What would you do on your last day on earth?: Fight my big brother.

What would you do if you received 100 million yen:? Place a bet on a single number in Roulette*.

What do you do on your days off?: Immerse myself in horror games or horror movies.

What would you be doing if you hadn’t discovered soccer?: Can’t imagine. I’d probably be dead?

Who is your favorite historical figure?: Oda Nobunaga. The guy who unified the whole country gotta be crazy.

If you could only bring one thing to a deserted island, what would it be?: A soccer ball. To help me remember all the emotions.

Where would you go if you had a time machine, to the past or the future?: The future. I want to know how this revenge ends. If I win, that's fine, but if I lose, then I’ll do everything in my power to change that future.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rin's attachment to Sae lurks deep in his heart

Ever since he was young, Rin looked up to his older brother Sae and dreamed of becoming the world’s best together. However, when Sae returned from Spain, Rin was coldly pushed away** and he began to hate his older brother for ruining his life.

Rejecting his allies and unleashing "Darkness"

Rin chose to fight Sae by himself, completely refusing teamwork with Blue Lock. Exposing his true nature, he attacked his nemesis, Sae.

A day at Blue Lock, just before the match with U-20 Japan National Team

"When I woke up this morning, my left lower eyelashes had curled up, they got into my eye and it hurt. It happens sometimes, right? Lower eyelashes get all tangled up when you sleep. Eh? Just me? But big brother said it happens to him... Ah, don't remind me of that guy. This is the worst way to wake up."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rin's Ranking on "Best 3 of Everything: Players seriously voted each!"

1. Ranked #1 The Least Likely To Succeed As Coach.

Isagi’s commentary: “I think the team would be in utter chaos.”

2. Ranked #1 The Strongest Supernatural Sense***

Rin’s commentary: "Huh?  I don’t have a supernatural sense. I just like horrors. I was told that I was possessed by 200 vengeful spirits, though."

3. Ranked #1 The Worst Listener

Bachira’s commentary: "He’s the guy who only responds with 'I’ll kill you'. I like it though!"

4. Ranked #1 The Worst Luck

Nagi’s commentary: "Maybe Rin. Seems like he pulled the worst older brother gacha. But if his big brother is Itoshi Sae, I guess he’s lucky too.

5. Ranked #2 Least Loveliest Smile 

6. Ranked #2 The Least Family-oriented Person

Isagi’s commentary: "If you look at those two, you would assume so. But if they really hate each other… It means that they also think about each other."

7. Ranked #2 Longest Eyelashes

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

*In Roulette, betting on a single number is called a "straight up bet". It's the riskiest bet, but if you win the 35:1 payout will be very rewarding. (Highest-risk, Highest-reward).

**They used this to describe what happened to Rin: 冷たく突き放された (Tsumetaku Tsukihanasareta), it means he was coldly pushed away or coldly abandoned (or forsaken). Please check my notes on Sae’s profile page, because there is a connection!

***The question was 「霊感が強いのは?」 -Who has the strongest 'Reikan'? 霊感 Reikan is an ability to sense the supernatural (like spirits, ghosts, demons, etc). People who have this are said to be very sensitive, they can feel or even 'see' the supernatural while others can't!

On his profile, Rin referred to Sae as "兄ちゃん niichan". So yes, all the "big brother" mentioned by Rin here are originally "niichan" in Japanese.

Check Rin's profile from the first volume of Egoist Bible here!

[uhhhandskullanon]

SCENARIO : BEING STOLEN FROM A NEWFOUND FAMILY FROM YOUR PAST CRIMINAL “FATHERS” DOESN’T FEEL GOOD AT ALL.

───── ⋆⋅ ☆ ⋅⋆ ─────

DARK FIC : ANGST FIC : 1,058 WORDS

TWS : HEAVY YANDERE THEMES, MURDER, BLOOD, GORE, KIDNAPPING, CONSENSUAL AND NONCONSENSUAL DRUGGING, THREATS, MENTIONS OF FRAMED TERRORISM, FYOLAI BEING MANIPULATIVE AND DELUSIONAL LITTLE BITCHES /affectionately, READER KIND OF SPIRALS HALFWAY IN

LISTEN TO : I LOVE YOU HOE (w/ 9lives) - Odetari :||: THE FOX’S WEDDING - MASA WORKS DESIGN

You should’ve known that you never really could escape them, no matter how hard you tried. You wanted to scream, shout, sob, beg, whine, yell, anything at all, but the gag in your mouth prevented any sound whatsoever.

Not like if it wasn’t there it’d change anything. The basement is still sound-proof either way. You just wish Fyodor put a second thought in cleaning it up, because it smelled horrid in there.

Probably because of the pile of rotting body parts in the corner, or the bloody, moss-covered walls.

…he probably did this on purpose, actually. It’s only a part of your punishment, for leaving your loving fathers, is what he might say.

The gag was leaving a literal bad taste on your tongue, and if you could see the chains on your wrists, you’d bet they were already bruising and scarring. It was too dark for that though.

That was all in the start, however. It’s been nearly months since you’ve been ‘saved’ and ‘returned,’ in Nikolai’s terms. Everything had only been horrible, up until you were finally trusted enough to be let out of the basement. You would never say this, but it is partially thanks to Nikolai’s delusion and nagging of Fyodor that sped up that process.

…you missed the Agency. A lot, actually.

You missed Atsushi, and how he’d comfort you and you two just went out for chazuke on breaks.

You missed Yosano, and her headpats with the occasional need for healing. Despite her (kind of hidden) sadism, you never really were awake to feel her abilities… pre-measures.

You missed Dazai’s stupid antics, and the way he’d somehow drag you into them one way or another, but always made sure you never really got in trouble.

You missed Ranpo just rambling or being sleepy with you, occasionally sharing sweets and always calling for you to join him on cases whenever he could.

You missed Kunikida scolding you for joining Dazai’s shenanigans, but always doting over you like a real dad.

You missed listening to Kenji ramble about cows and farm animals.

You missed going out with Kyouka and eating crepes with her.

You missed just chatting with Fukuzawa, and even the cats at the shelter you two would visit.

You never voiced these though, because lord forbid you speak of anything or anyone on the outside while within the confines of Fyodor’s new base… you didn’t want to see that basement ever again, either.

“Oh [Y/N]! We’re baaaaaack!~” A (unfortunately and overly) familiar voice called out happily, before you were immediately tackled into a hug by none other than Nikolai. “Didya’ miss us?” He’d ask, and you already knew exactly what to say.

“Of course I did. I always miss you, Dad.” You smiled, hugging him back tightly. You knew how this went, and you knew that this would slowly but surely coax him into letting you out of the base… and after a few outings sticking by his side, surely you’d be freed.

Surely. Surely you kept telling yourself. Optimism and hope slowly blending into desperation and longing inside your mind. Surely you’ll find a way to run away. Patience is a virtue. Patient, patient, patient and good little [Y/N] before you leave them again.

“Waaha, how cute!” He’d exclaim soon after, hugging you even tighter before picking you up and spinning around, and you had to force out a fake chuckle and expression of joy. He only put you down (but still held you,) when Fyodor entered the room, brushing off his coat. It was then when you noted that they both had small splashes of blood splattered across certain spots, but you didn’t say anything on it. You knew how that went…

───── ⋆⋅ ?! ⋅⋆ ─────

"You can't- you can't keep doing this if you want me to stay!" You shouted at the two, blood-soaked males who in return just stared back at you.

"Are you saying you don't want to stay, my dear?"

"N-no, I just...-"

"Are you saying you'd leave us if we didn't stop?"

"That's not what I was saying! Don't put words into my mouth! I- ?!" You were cut off by a sudden cold knife to the throat, held by a gloved hand appearing out of a yellow portal.

"Watch your words wisely," Fyodor warned, "We are your fathers afterall."

'Never,' You wanted to shout, 'Never in a million years will you two ever be anything more than monsters to me.'

But even a fool knows when to bite their tongue.

───── ⋆⋅ ?! ⋅⋆ ─────

“Hey, Father?” You turned to Fyodor whilst still hugging Nikolai.

“Hm? What is it, doll?” He responded, taking off his cape and hanging it on a rack near the door before looking back at you.

You hated that nickname. “Doll.” Like you were some sort of item to show and control.

'Not for long,’ You’d think, ‘Not for very long at all.’ Though you were about to ask a risky question… you’d just hold on tight to Nikolai and hope for the best.

“...what happened to my kidnappers?” You hated referring to the Agency like that.

“Oh.. Well, not much. Merely a bit of… framing.” He said darkly, and eerie and small grin crossing his face.

"They won’t ever take your freedom away again, and you’ll never ever have to leave us again, isn’t that right dove?” Nikolai smiled evilly whale hugging you even tighter to the point that it hurt, and you had to muster up the ‘happiest’ smile you could.

"Yes, thank you Dad, and Father.” You said softly, looking at the two ‘gratefully.’

...You were going to get out of this hell hole, and you were going to save the Agency, one way or another.

───── ⋆⋅ ☆ ⋅⋆ ─────

'This might be a bit of a stretch,’ You thought to yourself as you stared down at the large drop ahead of you. Its been a long while, and you’ve finally been allowed to go outside with them… however, you’ve taken precautions. You know exactly what to do.

You’re on top of a large building with a barrier, and you’ve marked it just enough so that you’re only barely out of reach of Nikolai’s ability. It’s also only a matter of time before they find you…

…It’s a long way down. Do you want to jump?

— TAG : @kolyakisses

[starlightshadowsworld]

Bsd except the Agency never gets the tiger case.

Atsushi ends up in Yokohama and manages to steal the wallet of a passerby. There's not much but after being homeless for 2 weeks and starving, it's more than enough.

He gets some chazuke and leaves while some bandaged weirdo starts flirting with the waitress.

Atsushi knows he should get away, he can't stay in one place for too long. But he's tired and one bowl of chakuze is hardly enough to fill him for long. He curls up under the bridge and takes a quick nap.

The police detectives are too proud to ask for the Agencies help and go all out. When the tiger is seen in Yokohama, they manage to set a trap and detain it.

Things become a lot more complicated when day breaks and the man eating tiger turns into a scared boy. An ability user, and though many are suspicious Detective Minoura is not.

He sits by the cell of the kid, Atsushi and asks his questions. He learns Atsushi was kicked out of an orphanage 2 weeks ago, lining up with the tiger sightings.

And he has no idea he's the tiger, a conversation that was not fun to have. He knows Atsushi is genuine, that's he's scared. He'd love to let him go. But kids dangerous, too dangerous even if he's never hurt anyone.

It hurts his pride as a detective to even consider what he's about to do. But his pride should never come at the cost of innocent lives.

"So that's the story, if I was going by the book the kid would be arrested. Whether he knew it or not he caused a lot of terror, fear and a lot of property damage."

"And yet you aren't going by the book, you instead came here to me." Said Fukuzawa, taking a sip of his tea as he oberseved the police detective. "He doesn't deserve it. I couldn't get much out of him, but the kids been through hell. I'll take the punishment if it gets him out."

Fukuzawa nodded "we don't often meet eye to eye detective, but today I can say with certainty we do. You've done your job, now let us play our part."

Minoura nodded, relieved.

"Just... Please don't send Mr Super Genuis to deal with it." Fukuzawa chuckles, there's a twinkle of mischief in his eyes and Minoura sighed inwardly. He wanted to regret this but he couldn't.

Not even when Ranpo waltzed into the police precinct like he owned the place with a bright smile at getting to order the officers around.

His smile wavered slightly when he took in Atsushi. Minoura could see concern and anger flicker across his face before the smile returned and he told Atsushi he was breaking out of here.

The light returning to Atsushi's eyes told Minoura he'd made the right choice.

Atsushi was cautious. He stuck by Minoura the whole time as the paperwork was completed. Which was fair, he was maybe the only person who'd treated him kindly and Ranpo was a lot for anyone.

And yet, Minoura could tell Ranpo was putting on his best behaviour.

Seeing Atsushi's hesitation Minoura sat him down. "Hey, kid. These are... Friends of mine, they'll keep you safe." Seems like the kid wasn't used to hearing that and Minoura softened.

He scribbled down his number and handed it to him. "You ever get in trouble. You ever feel unsafe or afraid, you call me okay." Atsushi was surprised but took the written phone number like it was something precious.

He'd be okay, Minoura might not like the Agency but they were borderline feral in their protectivness over their loved ones. And hell, if anyone gave that kid trouble he'd make good on his promise.

[miaitzia]

Notes i take while listening to bsd onsen drama cd

Dazai can make good chazuke,finally beat the can't cook allegation ig

Immediately starting a pillow fight is so Ranpo

Kunikida has no resistance to Ranpo,like AT ALL.

immediately accepts Kenji swimming in onsen because Ranpo says it's ok

trying hard using various of swimming style to swim just because he doesn't want to ruin Ranpo's mood

not even trys to request Ranpo to do the cleaning work

Turning on a small light for Ranpo but tells Dazai to suck it up when he says he has to sleep in dark

Ranpo is probably the only one in ada brave enough to tease Tanizaki siblings' werid relationship adbsjsjdj

apparently Dazai's way of travelling is just floating down the river

Dazai softly calling Ranpo's name bfkdns i love them

The whole "open with each other" conversation is wild

Tanizaki is so traumatized by yosano's treatment that he has a panic attack when thinking about it💀

Atsushi wants to rub dazai n kunikida back because they always take care of him is so wholesome

Ranpo and Atsushi laughing and playing with rubber ducks is everything

[ssaraexposs]

After "stressed Dazai", we now have "Stressed Atsushi"....

[wanderersbell]

cooking wanderer's signature dish for him

wanderer x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none

word count: 988

a/n: short one today! not feeling too good about this but just wanted to push something out and this was buzzing around in my head so i figured i'd write it out real quick. btw i'm doing requests now! check pinned for more details (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。

he’s absolutely unconvinced you can make anything without ruining it. 

a few mishaps in the kitchen was all it took for him to take over the stove and only let you help with preparation when you won’t stop pestering him about it. 

doesn’t even hesitate to grab things out of your hands and move them across the counter when you try helping. will also step in front of you to push you away from the counter which drives you crazy. 

he actually genuinely enjoys cooking for you, but equally enjoys pretending it’s because you’re a safety hazard and watching you get angry about it. nothing beats lighthearted bickering with you. 

given your dislike for cooking in the first place it all works out for the most part, but after seeing him make a simple meal from leftover rice and tea one night, you wanted to try finding quick and easy foods to throw together. 

this specific dish of his had been on your mind ever since he first made it for you, yes because it was delightful, but also because it was clearly one of his favorites and you couldn’t help but want to try your hand at it for him. 

fortunately, once a week, he and nahida meet up to discuss things so it’s not long before the perfect opportunity presents itself. 

he’s absolutely unconvinced you can make anything without ruining it. 

a few mishaps in the kitchen was all it took for him to take over the stove and only let you help with preparation when you won’t stop pestering him about it. 

doesn’t even hesitate to grab things out of your hands and move them across the counter when you try helping. will also step in front of you to push you away from the counter which drives you crazy. 

he actually genuinely enjoys cooking for you, but equally enjoys pretending it’s because you’re a safety hazard and watching you get angry about it. nothing beats lighthearted bickering with you. 

given your dislike for cooking in the first place it all works out for the most part, but after seeing him make a simple meal from leftover rice and tea one night, you wanted to try finding quick and easy foods to throw together. 

this specific dish of his had been on your mind ever since he first made it for you, yes because it was delightful, but also because it was clearly one of his favorites and you couldn’t help but want to try your hand at it for him. 

fortunately, once a week, he and nahida meet up to discuss things so it’s not long before the perfect opportunity presents itself. 

“do you need something?”

you shake your head no from where you’re peering over his shoulder with rapt attention, watching the way he skillfully puts together some sort of inazuman dish you haven’t seen before. the wanderer’s hands move across the cutting board like they’ve done it a million times, which they probably have, and it’s near fascinating to watch. 

“just looking.” you respond absentmindedly. your breath tickles the back of his neck, and for a split second he almost fumbles with the knife and heaves a deep sigh like you’re being a nuisance, but at the same time steps to the side so you have more room to see him neatly chop up some herbs that seem to be one of the final touches. when he’s done, he scoops the small pieces into his hand before sprinkling them over the rice and tea filled bowl sitting off to the side of the counter and topping it off with a pickled plum. 

“there.” he boasts proudly, presenting the bowl with a grin. “shimi chazuke.”

“it looks good.” you say honestly, bringing the dish to your mouth and taking a sip, and then, “it tastes good!”

your eyes are bright and earnest when you meet his and he clicks his tongue to distract himself from the way your words make his chest flutter. “don’t act so surprised, of course it does.”

as always, you immediately play along with his attitude and set your lips in a grim line. “i lied, it’s awful. never make this again.” 

when you set the bowl down and start to walk away he sputters and starts briskly walking after you, grumbling lighthearted curses and calling you a terrible liar along the way. 

ever since that day, he’s made that same shimi chazuke a handful of other times and the urge to try to make it yourself and surprise him has been strong. now, with nothing but determination on your mind, you’re ready to put your observation skills to work and perfectly replicate his cooking before he comes back from his weekly meeting with nahida. 

as carefully and precisely as you can, you go through the same preparation process you’ve seen so many times and slowly but surely a deliciously smelling bowl of shimi chazuke is nearly done. 

it’s right when you’re adding the toppings that he returns and soundlessly walks inside and stops behind you with a frown. you know he’s there but wait until you’ve finished sprinkling the herbs on top before glancing over your shoulder to see him standing with his arms crossed watching you. 

“you made a huge mess.” he comments in a bland tone, eyeing the dirty dishes and spilled tea on the counter. 

“welcome back.” you completely ignore what he said and hand him the bowl, which he takes cautiously and holds out in front of him like it might explode. despite this, there’s a softness to his expression at coming home to find you making one of his favorite foods, so he wastes no time in lifting it up and thoughtfully taking a sip. 

you stand in front of him nearly vibrating with anticipation, and like the insufferable punk he is, keeps his words to himself while he also grabs a pair of chopsticks to take a bite of the rice and check the texture. you stare intently at the way his jaw flexes as he chews, and when you cross your arms in front of yourself with an impatient huff he finally turns to look at you. 

“not bad. looks like you can be good at things after all.” 

contrary to what he says, the gentle hand that comes to rest on top of your head and the appreciative smile on his face have butterflies erupting in your stomach and a matching grin to accompany his own breaks out across your cheeks. 

“clearly you should let me help out in the kitchen more often then.” you muse smugly, to which he retracts his hand like you burned it and turns away with a scoff. 

“in your dreams.” 

“fine, then i guess you wouldn’t mind if i finish this for you?” before you can even bring the bowl from the table to your lips he reaches over and carefully snatches it from you so none of it spills over. 

“that won’t be necessary,” he says sharply, pouting slightly as you softly laugh. you both share a knowing look as he holds the steaming bowl to his chest, one that brings soft color to his cheeks in a way only you can manage. 

“and… thank you.”

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Reader as Scaramoche/wanderer of genshin impact, who has come to our world for a new beginning.

He knows he's a video game/fictional character, he tries not to think of himself as less human than he already thinks he is.

That's why he sees/treats all fictional characters as human because they might exist somewhere.

How the bungou stray dogs cast reacts to reader/Scaramoche/Wanderer all of his in-game appearances.

Sorry for The mistakes, english is not my First Language.

May you live a life full of happiness and affection.

From: your follower from Brazil 🇧🇷

Scaramouche! Male! Reader

Self-Aware! BSD Characters x Male! Scaramouche! Reader

Description: You knew, that you were fictional for that world. But, you were real in Teyvat. Maybe, someone else is real in different world, but not in this.

Warning:OOC. Slight spoilers for Genshin Impact. English is my second language.

A/N: Thank you for your kind words 😊

You, Aether and Lumine were standing on a big platform up in the sky. Traveler's journey was over. And yours will begun shortly.

Lesser Lord's... Nahida's last words, ring into your ears.

"Be happy, [Y/N]. I wish that you find your home in a different world."

You take a step forward, right behind the Travelers. People, who agreed to transport you to different world. People, who gave you your name.

Scaramouche, The Balladeer, Sixth Harbinger, The Wanderer, was leaving Teyvat.

Forever

______

🐾 It took time, but, you managed to fit in this strange world. There were no gods among humans, no elemental powers.

🐾 Only progress.

🐾 You... liked it here. This world feels different from Teyvat. And you really appreciate it.

🐾 Your life was peaceful. At least, before this strange new game appeared.

🐾 When one day you woke up, and decide to scroll through the social media. You were more of a lurker, enjoying dramas, people started here.

🐾 And you saw it. And advertising for a new game. "Genshin Impact". And you saw Travelers on the poster. Poster for a new version. With you on it.

🐾 For the next few days, you stayed away from the Internet. The bittersweet thoughts were sinking their teeth in your mind.

🐾 Fictional. You were not just a puppet. You were a fictional puppet of a fictional character.

🐾 You spend half of the day in the nearest forest, destroying old trees with your Anemo powers.

🐾 And, after that, you didn't think about it ever again. You are here. You are in this real world. And other things should not matter.

🐾 But something changed in your behavior.

🐾 You start treating fictional characters from TV shows, books, anime and manga as real people. You talked to them, sympathies with them.

🐾 Perhaps, there is the world, where they were real.

______

You were relaxing on your couch after a long day of work. You recently finished daily missions in BSD Mayoi and mindlessly scrolling through the channels.

On your small kitchen, the rice cooker was on. Soon, you will have some delicious Chazuke.

You started to nod off. You don't require sleep, but, you enjoyed napping from time to time.

And, suddenly, your phone starts shaking and gloving. Immediately, you summon the power of Anemo. Winds lift you up. Your hat, that you kept on the top of one of the wardrobes, soar towards you and froze behind your back.

The atmosphere compressed under your foot in a singular vacuum. You were ready to attack.

"Please, don't be afraid, young man, we are... HOW?!" you scared Chief Taneda. And Ango. And Mori. And Kunikida. And everyone.

All of you just froze, staring at each other. You lower your feet, still floating in a midair.

You just kept staring at each other. The silence became awkward.

Dazai take a carious step forward and pocked skin of your ankle. You still were floating.

You hear the rice cooker's signal. Your dinner was ready.

You broke the silence.

"Who wants chazuke?"

_______

🐾 The first meeting was... something. And talk after the meeting wasn't better.

🐾 You didn't hide from them, that you also were fictional. You have no reason. And they deserved to know.

🐾 You were hesitant to tell them, where exactly are you from. It's not like you believed, that they, somehow, will use it against you. You simply need time, before trusting them. Even if BSD Cast knew, how it feels to be fictional.

🐾 On the bright side, Atsushi liked your Shimi Chazuke.

______

You looked around your new home. A big home, where you will live with your... new friends. Together.

A distant memory of Niwa and Tatarasuna scraped your mind.

It was so long, since you lived among friends.

And friends should trust each other.

Later that day, during dinner, you finally tell them the name.

"I am from the game called 'Genshin Impact'".

_______

🐾 After some negotiations, you agreed to let BSD Gang watch walkthrough for Genshin Impact. They were curious to see, how you looked like before.

🐾 Because, yes, you had to change your looks, when you arrived here. Travelers insisted on it.

🐾 So, after some more negotiations, you agreed to watch videos with them.

______

Reaction to Scaramouche:

- During "Unreconciled Stars" event:

🐾 They will tease you about your outfit. You are playfully grumble on them, but you don't feel any real anger or annoyance.

🐾 Dazai created few dozens jokes about you, hats, Chuuya and height. He will add them to hundreds of thousands of jokes he already has.

🐾 Jounou will ask if you are a conspiracy theorist, after hearing about fake sky.

- During "Chapter II"

🐾 Twain joked about your resemblance with that one Elmo meme. You used your anemo powers on him. For the next few days, his hair resembles an abandoned bird nest.

🐾 After learning, that you are a doll, BSD Cast stopped the video marathon to talk to you. You were talking for few hours, they were trying to make you believe, that you are no less than normal humans.

-During "Chapter III"

🐾 They were crying. Crying during your backstory part. Crying during part, where you were defeated.

🐾 Expect even more affection in the future.

🐾 Yosano, Doc and Mori check your head for injuries, after seeing you fall down after you were defeated.

-During "Interlude Chapter. Act III"

🐾 After learning about Dottore's role in your past and his treatment of you, BSD Gang was ready to travel to Teyvat and tear him apart. You quickly assured them, that Dottore already paid for what he did.

🐾 They were nervous, when you and memories about you disappeared.

🐾 Thought, that you were adorable, before you gain your memories back. They won't say it out loud.

🐾 Were cheering, when you got your vision. To entertain them, you float around the room.

______

Reaction to Wanderer:

- During "A Paradise of Providence" event.

🐾 Now Dazai will call you only "Hat Guy". Wait, until he learns about "Bongo-Head".

🐾 Kunikida is baffled of you not taking competition seriously.

🐾 Everyone adores yours and Nahida's relationship.

____

You feel better, after sharing your story with BSD Cast. You will wait for the future. When you can share the rest of the story with your friends.

[genshxn]

✤ 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐜: 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝

part 2 of Looking After the Sick

written pre-3.3 • 3.2 archon quest spoiler warning technically still applies

author drivel. WROTE THIS WHILE I'M STILL RIDING THE SCARAMOUCHE WAVE THAT I HAVE FOR LIKE NO FUCKING REASON I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME WHAT IS GOING ON THIS FUCKER HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD HELP. right yeah anyway- every time i write fanfiction there is always a non-zero chance that someone is going to get slammed into a wall. take that as you will.

synopsis. you're not sick anymore, so you finally take matters into your own hands after he basically irl ghosted you for a few days.

contents. scaramouche can't deal with himself so he doesn't want to deal with you, he gets shoved into a wall, you tell him how you feel, plus a suggestive comment if you squint.

w.c. 2.4k words omg help me

taglist. @frissy

You looked down at It was about time to get Kunikuzushi back to his own room. Luckily, due to his inorganic composition, he’s quite light, so you don’t have much trouble hauling him around in various positions… when you’re not sick. With your lack of strength and shitty breathing, it was quite the slog trying to get the unconscious puppet back to his room, but you did manage it in the end. You laid him down on his bed somewhat ungracefully. After straightening out his messy limbs, you took one last look at his ’sleeping’ face. He’s quite beautiful when he’s this quiet. If only he had an ounce more of that calmness when he was conscious. With that final thought, you shuffled back to your room, collapsing onto the bed with a prolonged sigh (and cough).

30 minutes later, you swear you heard his faint scream from the other side of the Sanctuary. 

The whole reason you went to such an effort to try and get him back to his own room was because you assumed that he would want to be alone once he finally rebooted. And you were right—he still brought your food like he was ordered to by Nahida, but every time he entered the room, he wouldn’t say anything to you, let alone even look at you. He would enter the room without a word, place the tray of food next to you and then rush out again. If you were lucky, he’d maybe throw a fresh blanket at you. Without fail, you’d get nailed square in the face with it every time. 

In the time you were alone, which was about 99% of your waking hours, Kunikuzushi’s words ruminated in your mind. You were "making [him] feel all this shit…" and "toying with [his] already shattered heart like [a] plaything…". You wanted to roll your eyes at how painfully on-brand the wording is, but it seems like he’s gone and developed feelings for you. If all he did was say those things to you, there was more room for doubt in his words, but paired with his actions, there was no mistaking it. Kunikuzushi had developed feelings for you at some point. Looking down at the empty hand he held, you reminisced on the feeling of his soft hand in yours. It was so tender compared to the front he usually put up. You close your fist with a determined look on your face—once you’re better, you’re going to confront him about it. 

By the fourth morning after making up your mind, you finally felt human again. You woke up  with the sunlight hitting your eyes… But when that happens at this time of year, that means it’s already mid to late morning. So you’ve managed to sleep in even more than normal. With a sigh, you roll over to get out of bed but notice the food tray in the regular spot. On it sits a lonely cup of tea. Upon feeling the mug, you realize it must have been sitting there for a while, because it was only lukewarm—it must have been brought in while you were asleep. You go to gulp it down so it doesn’t go to waste, but the familiar taste hits you immediately. It was just like the tea in the chazuke that Kunikuzushi made you a few days ago. He must have made the tea. Whether it was his own idea or Nahida’s, you appreciate that he brought it to you either way. Right as you’re about to place the mug back down, you notice a tiny, plain notecard that must have been sitting beneath the cup. 

The Radish wants you to hurry up and stop being bedridden. 

Jokes on him, you’re feeling 100% better and are about to hunt his ass down. After getting changed out of your pyjamas and into some semi-presentable clothes, you set out on your quest of looking for the emotional wreck of a puppet. 

You exit out into the hallway, not quite sure where to begin. You begin to think of some possible places he may be, but your thoughts are cut off by a little radish-coloured child wandering into view—it’s Nahida.

"Oh hello, (Y/N)! I’m glad to see you up and about. How are you feeling?" The young god marches up to you with a cheery look on her face. She only comes up to at most your waist. 

"Normal, finally. I’m completely better now. Ku took good care of me… for a few days." You bit the inside of your cheek remembering the event from four days ago. 

"Ah yes, something happened between the two of you, didn’t it? I wanted to see if he would talk about it, but it seems he’s gone back to bottling things up. Can I ask what happened?" 

"Yeah, he’s doing it to me too… You wouldn’t happen to know where he is, would you? I’m gonna try talking to him." 

Nahida puffs her cheeks. "Ooh, that’s going to be tricky… Well, I believe I last saw him come out of his room a few minutes ago. He didn’t have his hat on, so I don’t think he’s planning on leaving any time soon." 

"Thank you so much. You’ll probably be able to tell later on if things go well! Please excuse me now," With a little bow and wave to the god, she sees you off with a returned smile and wave, continuing on her way down the hallway. 

Now to find that Kunikuzushi. It doesn’t take too long to get to the general area of his room. He couldn’t have gone far if he didn’t have his hat on. He never leaves without the thing. 

You can feel yourself beginning to get fidgety. As much of the fearless ex-Fatui Harbinger tamer you are, you’re still just a person with your own nervous feelings to consider. You’re not the one that has the potential to be met with humiliating rejection… right? Judging that you’re dealing with Kunikuzushi, everything could easily be flipped on its head in a matter of seconds. Your eyes turn downcast, mindlessly watching the floor in front of you as you walk. So of course you’re not watching where you’re going because you knock into something—or maybe something walks into you. Either way, it makes an incredibly familiar screech. Your head whips up to see what it is and you come face to face with just the person you were looking for. 

"Kuni—" 

"W-watch where you’re going!" He stammers, moving to hide his face behind his arm. He looks down at you with either contemptuous or embarrassed eyes—you only saw them for a split second before he turns tail and tries to run off. 

"Wait, I need to talk to you!"

"No you don’t!" He calls back, looking over his shoulder.

You run up behind him and try to catch his wrist again, and you do manage to briefly get a grip on it it… until he leaps into the air in a blast of air, yanking himself from your grip. 

You’re left reeling from the sudden gust of wind to your face while Kunikuzushi lands back down and sprints off. He turns to face you one last time and calls out "Leave me alone!" Hey, that’s the most eye-contact he’s made with you in the past four days. 

"Kunikuzushi, you get your ass back here right now!" You begin to sprint after him down the hallway. "Being alone will fix none of this, and you still have to consider how I feel!" 

He makes a shocked cry and almost trips over his own feet. There’s your chance—it’s now or never to catch up to him. Before he can escape away from you again, you manage to corner him against the wall with both hands hovering near either of his shoulders. He’s pressed up against the wall as much as humanly possible, face horrified and tomato red. "LET ME GO." 

"No. Kunikuzushi, listen to me. You can’t just avoid me for the rest of your life." 

"What, a-are you projecting on me or something? You wanna… you wanna be with me so bad you can’t even go four days without talking to me." His 'smug smile' seems more like an embarrassed frown. 

"You interpreted the statement like that. I think you’re the one projecting, Ku," You sigh at his pathetic attempt at deflection. "Which is exactly why I need to talk to you."

"Ngh…" He grunts out while looking off down the hall, hiding his mouth behind his wrist. "This is about… that night, isn’t it? What do you even want?" He frowns, glaring at you. Even when he’s this much of a hot mess, he still has a beauty to behold. 

"That’s the thing… I’m not really sure." You sigh, eyes casting off to the side. "But I would like to go somewhere a bit more private, if possible." 

"HUH? B-but—" His face heats up even further. 

"Would you rather the two of us be caught like this here in the hallway?" 

"No." He avoids your gaze again. "Ugh, c’mon, let’s just go to my room or something It’s right there." 

You let go of your cage around him and he walks stiffly to his bedroom. Once you’re in, he closes the door behind you. His room is neat and simple, not too different from your’s. A few random belongings and pieces of clothes strewn about suggest that he’s begun to feel more comfortable which makes you happy to see. But Kunikuzushi’s not in the mood for that right now. 

"So?" He asks impatiently. "What do you have to say that about… that?" He crosses his arms and shifts his weight to one leg. 

You take a step to approach him, which makes him instinctually back up a step. His expression falters with nervousness. “Well. Your confusing feelings are most likely a crush." You say. 

“Argh, I know that! I wasn’t born yesterday, you know.” He folds his arms across his chest crankily, looking off to the side. “It’s just… been so long. B-but anyway! What do you even…” he gestures around wildly with his hands, struggling to articulate. “…think of all that?!” 

“That’s the thing… I’m not fully sure,” You reply. Mind you, you do have some idea, but you want to put it to the test first. 

"Wh-what?!" He sputters in disbelief. "How can you—! Ugh, I’m right, aren’t I? All you want to do is pl—" He begins on a pessimistic rant, and you’re not having it. 

"But…" You cut him off. Despite your hammering heart rising in your chest, you grab him by both sides of his collar and yank him closer to you, placing your lips on his half-parted ones. Kunikuzushi’s eyes open as wide as can be. You can feel your a warmth and almost giddiness radiate inside you. The kiss itself is a slightly awkward one, thanks to how stiff Kunikuzushi is the whole time, but you can feel yourself melting against him. 

Eventually, you have to let him go. You take note of the fact that you don’t want to, but breathing is still somewhat important. The stunned Kunikuzushi steps back against the wall, eyes and pupils blown wide. Nothing seems to go through his head for a brief second. 

“Hello?” You wave in front of his face. “Don’t fucking tell me you’re short-circuiting again..." Your warm feeling quickly suspends at the looming threat that he may pass out again. If he does, at least his bed is literally right there, and you’re ready to catch him if necessary.

He wordlessly brings a hand to his lip, evidently still computing what just happened. Looks like you just temporarily tanked his processing speed instead. You watch in real time as his face flushes even deeper. 

"WHWHWHWH—" In an instant, his expression morphs to one of shock. Looks like he’s finally back with reality. 

"You know, I missed the feeling of your hand." Now it was your turn to pick up his hand and interlace your fingers with his. You hold it up between the two of you and it give a little squeeze. Kunikuzushi stares at them with wide eyes. "I think it helped me figure out how I feel about you.’ 

"...Wh-which is?" 

"I mean, it should be obvious since I just kissed you on the lips like that, but I think I like you t—“ 

Now it was Kunikuzushi’s turn to cut you off. With his free hand, he holds your face by the jaw and leans in to kiss you back. You’re stunned by his new found confidence. This time, he actually moves against your lips with far more experienced at this than you would have thought—then again, he has been alive several hundred years longer than you have, so what do you know? You can feel the emotion behind it—tender but with an unmistakable fervour. He lets go of your still-joint hand and brings you closer against him with his hand around the small of your back. Your arms find themselves wrapping around his shoulders. A few moments later. you pull back with a gasp of air and a hammering heart. It was also your turn to be left reeling. Kunikuzushi on the other hand, appears quite pleased with himself. 

“Hah, you drank the tea I left you this morning, didn’t you?” He still holds your face with his hand. You watch as he swipes his tongue over his lips with a smug grin. 

“AHEM.” Your face heats at his comment. “Yes, I did. The Radish wanted me to stop being bedridden after all… On another note, you look quite happy,” You say with a smile.  

“‘Cause I am, stupid,” He laughs softly. “You do my head in with all the shit you make me feel, but right now, this isn’t so bad.” 

“Oh yeah, you mentioned that you went to Nahida about your confusing feelings?” 

“…I did. What of it?” He looks at you with a slightly confused expression, rather contrary to the smug one he had before. 

“She’s probably the last person you want to go to for human emotions. She says she really doesn’t understand them since she’s been stuck alone for 500 years." 

“…So she really does have the same understanding of emotions as a radish.” He muses, looking off in some random direction. 

“Wait, KUNIKUZUSHI, WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER?” 

 In response, he just pokes his tongue out. 

[damagedintellect]

Kunikida x Reader [Truth or Dare]

💌 Truth or Dare with the ADA: Kunikida's book of kissing techniques 💌  

Summary: A slow day in the office leads to a game of Truth or Dare. You thought it would be harmless fun but Dazai's seen the way you look at Kunikida and he just wanted to help.

Notes: My brain went "wouldn't it be funny if" so I had to write it

💌 Word count: 1,405 💌

It was an incredibly slow day in the office when Ranpo announced that he was bored. Nothing new. Although from across the room you could hear Dazai suggest playing a game since most people were lazing around anyway, well except for Kunikida. You didn’t mind playing a game but you didn’t exactly want to get in trouble. That’s when Atsushi chimed in “What about truth or dare? That’s fairly low effort! And then those who don’t really want to play can pick truth.”

Everyone else agreed since most people were participating only to amuse Ranpo, who huffed that choosing truth was lame and a cop out. It didn’t stop Kenji from choosing it though, causing the detective to groan. You had been quietly working away getting ahead for tomorrow as the game progressed. If no one wanted to choose you then you would happily sit and watch. Kunikida set another stack of papers down on his desk, catching everyone’s attention for a moment. He’s probably annoyed that most people were goofing off instead of doing their work. You wondered if he would play if someone chose him? 

“Dazai, truth or dare?” Atsushi grinned. He just thought of a good use of the game.

Dazai brought his hand under his chin proudly exclaiming. “Dare, obviously! Do your worst!”

Clapping his hands, Atsushi revealed the greatest strategy for the game “Perfect, I dare you to buy me chazuke!”

Chaos was unleashed as everyone was cackling. So many wasted turns of stupid dares like making Ranpo speak in the third person or having Junichiro turn all his clothes inside out. This one was actually brilliant. Dazai didn’t know what to say, he definitely wasn’t expecting that but he should have figured it would be something like that. 

Dazai smirked. “Fine. (Y/N), Truth or dare?”

You perked up from your seat not expecting to be called on. “Truth.” 

You heard Ranpo shout “Lame!” as Dazai thought for a moment.

“Oh I know who do you have a crush on?” He stared back proud of himself for putting you on the spot like that. You quickly glanced at Kunikida in your peripheral vision. His back was turned to you. Clearing your throat you needed to give at least some answer so instead you say. “You know what actually I meant dare!”

Dazai’s grin widened as if he was prepared for you to back out. “I dare you to kiss Kunikida!”

“What! You can’t be serious?” That bastard painted you into a corner. 

“Or you could answer question, either way you have to pick one!” Dazai smirked knowingly. He’d already known your feelings were for Kunikida. By the way he was wiggling his eyebrows at you it felt like he was trying to express that he was helping you move your crush along.

Kunikida stopped what he was doing pushing up his glasses. “If it’s consent you're worried about I’ll allow it. He never said it had to be on the lips after all, I'd hate for you to admit something you don’t want to.” He turned to glare at the brunette “Dazai stop making everyone uncomfortable. I don’t care if you guys keep playing but-ffmpfhff”

When Kunikida wasn’t paying attention you had walked up beside his chair and kissed him on the lips. You stormed out of the office before you could see his reaction. Your cheeks were burning as you paced outside the door.

Ranpo cheered as chaos once again consumed the office. He didn’t think you’d have the guts to do it. Of course he’s known from the start about your crush but he knew better to not get involved. Now this was entertaining. Kunikida stopped mid sentence. His heart was pounding in his chest from a simple touch of the lips. It didn’t even last that long to his dismay but it made his train of thought crash all together. He's admired your drive and work ethic but that was all. He would never fantasize about his coworkers out of respect but that chaste kiss sparked something.

Dazai was laughing as he leaned over his desk “Earth to Kunikida? How did it feel to be (Y/N)’s first kiss?” He was talking out of his ass but with the frazzled look on Kunikida’s face the blonde seemed to have believed him. Kunikida stood up smacking Dazai with his book as he went after you. The blonde felt bad for taking something that usually is very important to people. He was going to make it up to you.

You wondered if you should go back in or just go home. Looking at the time it wouldn’t make much of a difference. As you took a step towards the staircase you heard Kunikida call your name “(Y/N) wait. I wanted to apologize, I really had no idea.”

Ah so he figured it out. This is where you get rejected now isn't it? You’ve never gotten to see his list of ideals but you can’t imagine with 58 of them being what he looks for in a partner, well you doubt you could possibly match every one of them. Although you do wonder how many of the 58 you do meet. You let Kunikida catch up to you before you spoke. You didn’t want to be shouting about your feelings from across the hallway. 

“It’s okay really if anything it was Dazai’s fault so,” You didn’t meet his gaze opting to look at your feet. Honestly you were surprised that he even followed you out but Kunikida would be the type to let you down easy face to face. In that case you might as well ask. “So about the kiss, did you at least like it?”

He pushed up his glasses. “Your lips were tense and a little off center. It was also too quick for me to really feel anything but for your first kiss I’d say it was adequate. You don’t want to be too firm with your approach.”

You blinked at him. At least he didn’t hate it? Although it wasn’t your first kiss, but if he was making excuses for your bizarre behavior just now then you’ll take it. “I guess I just need a little more practice.”

He cleared his throat. He doesn't know why he feels the need to divulge this information to you. Maybe it's the guilt of robbing you of a proper first kiss. “I might not be the most experienced but I’ve studied the twenty four most common types of kisses and several techniques that one should master to be considered a good kisser.” He looked shyly to the side. If Dazai read that section of his journal he would never hear the end of it. “Of course it’s been a few years since I’ve touched those pages but I could help you if you wanted. Consider it penance for taking your first kiss.”

You know “Kunikida becoming your kissing instructor” wasn’t exactly on your bingo card for this year but if it means you get to spend alone time with him, you would have played truth or dare months ago. Guess you’d have to thank Dazai for this opportunity, maybe even Ranpo. 

You tried not to look too excited. “I’ll do my best.”

He looked relieved. Kunikida took off his glasses“Great, now relax your lips.” He took a breath to settle his nerves. Whether it was guilt, shame or embarrassment he’ll never know but there was a burning desire to kiss you again to make amends.

“Wait right now?”

He put his glasses in his pocket as he cupped your face. Seeing your cute expression would only cause him to hesitate. “We’ll start tomorrow but I wanted to show you what it’s supposed to feel like.” 

His eyes peered down at your lips as he leaned in delicately placing them on your own. You could feel the warmth rush to your cheeks as you melted into his touch. It was longer than your peck from earlier but it was still just a simple touch of the lips. The thought of Kunikida initiating the kiss made you lightheaded. As he pulled away you were breathless. It was a miracle that you could even stand right now.

“Well?” Kunikida cleaned his glasses before putting them back on. 

You smiled softly hoping that he couldn’t hear your racing heart beat “Looks like I have a lot to learn.”

[marcusakito]

Cruel Words

Kabukimono x gn!reader

You catch Kabukimono saying awful, nasty words while he was out on an errand. When you confront him about it, you learn a sad truth about the puppet.

cw: none, really.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You are Kabukimono's love, the one he chose to entrust his heart to. The puppet was still a little confused about emotions, yet he knew his love for you was true. You met in Shakkei Pavillion, you had joined Niwa and the others the day they found him. Ever since then, Kabukimono always stood by your side, rain or shine, day and night.

Not that you minded, of course. Kabukimono is such a dear, always so eager to help with housework. And in turn, you taught him everything he wanted to know. To experience joy, deal with sadness, and most importantly, to empathize with others. It put a smile on your face, seeing him learning all these strange new things in the world with child-like wonder. As for him, well, he couldn't ask for a more patient and kind beloved.

One autumn day, Kabukimono watched you from the dining room of your shared home. You were making lunch, two bowls of unagi chazuke, which you knew was his favourite.

"Is it ready yet, [Name]?" Kabukimono asked, approaching from behind and leaning over your shoulder to watch. You giggled softly, turning to face him.

"No, not yet, I still need to cook the eels and brew the tea." You explained.

"I can help you! I can brew the tea while you cook the unagi." He looked up at you, an expectant look on his face just waiting for you to agree. Really now, how can you say no to such an adorable face?

"Alright," You pointed to the small bucket across the room. "We're out of water, so you'll have to get some at the well. Stay safe, okay?"

"I will, [Name]!" Kabukimono rushed over to the bucket, lifting it up and holding it close to his chest. You watched as he raced out of the house, making sure he was headed to the right direction before returning your attention to the kitchen stove.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It had been a while since Kabukimono left to fetch water. You were beginning to get worried, looking out the window for any sign of him. Was he lost? No, he couldn't be. He's been there plenty of times to fetch you water. Were there lots of people? No, even if there was, he should've still returned minutes ago. Did he break the bucket? The well? No, that can't be it either...

Oh no.

Could it be he was attacked by Kairagi? Or treasure hoarders? Or rift wolves?

Without a second thought, you're already putting on your sandals at the entryway. You run to the well, where you find Kabukimono safe and sound. You breathe a big sigh of relief as you observe what the puppet was up to. He was pushing on the well's lever, which seemed to be stuck. Knowing his strength, however, you knew he was more likely struggling not to push too hard rather than pushing as hard as possible.

He hadn't noticed you yet, too preoccupied with his predicament. You decided to continue watching, to see if he could handle the problem on his own, or to stop him should he almost break the lever.

"Useless, pathetic..." You heard him mutter under his breath. That can't be right, perhaps you imagined him say that, no? That is, until he continued on. "Weak, unnecessary..."

"Kabukimono!" The poor puppet yelped loudly at the yell of his name. He turned around, looking like he'd seen a ghost. Upon realizing it was you, he immediately smiled and ran up to you.

"Sorry it's taking so long, the good-for-nothing well won't work." You frowned, making him confused. "Don't be sad, [Name], I'll get the water as soon as I can!"

"No, no... Kabukimono, look at me." You placed your hands on his shoulders, a stern expression on your face. "Who taught you those words?"

"What words?"

"Those words you just called the well. Useless, weak, pathetic, all those. Who taught them to you? Don't tell me it was Katsuragi..."

"No, I learned them from my creator." You paused, completely caught off-guard by that response. It dawned on you that he didn't fully grasp the meaning of those words, he more so repeated them much like a parrot, a downside to his immaturity. "She called me that, so I thought you call all bad things that."

"Oh, Kabukimono..." You sigh, taking him by the hand and sitting him down on a nearby large rock. "You're not a "bad thing." Okay? Don't ever think that. You're an amazing, wonderful person, and Niwa, Katsuragi, everyone in the village loves you and appreciates you. Especially me, I love you, and don't ever forget it." You placed a kiss on his cheek. "So don't say those words alot, okay? They're... Bad words. Cruel words. Saying them can make people upset if they think you're talking about them."

"But, I'm not saying it to people. I'm saying it to the well."

"I know, but still, It's not good to make saying them a habit. You could accidentally slip up and insult Katsuragi, or a child, or even me." You sit next to him, placing your hand on top his, rubbing circles on the back of his hand. "Instead of being mean and forceful on the well, why don't you try a different way? A more peaceful way."

You heard Kabukimono softly hum to himself, contemplating on his next move. He stood up and headed back to the well, with you following close behind. This time, he inspected the well's crank, fixing the lever that had gotten stuck. And just like that, it was up and running again, and he collected a bucketful of water, showing it to you with pride.

"I did it, [Name]!" You smiled and patted his head, Kabukimono easing into it with a few giggles.

"Good job! Now let's go home, our unagi chazuke will be cold if we wait any longer." He nodded and you placed a kiss to his cheek before you both headed for home.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Bonus:

"[Name], what about 'shit'? Is that one of the bad words? I heard Katsuragi-san say it when he bumped into a tree by accident. Oh, and also 'fuck.'"

"..."

Needless to say, Katsuragi got quite the scolding later on. No one ruins the precious baby Kabukimono's innocence and gets away with it.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this, and I know I seem a little mean thinking Ei would've said those to Kunikuzushi/Kabukimono, but hear me out. I'm aware she had good intentions leaving him so that he would be free, but my friend and I headcanon that she would say things that are mean for the sake of him not getting emotionally attached to her, and in turn she wouldn't get attached either. It's a byproduct of her being a little emotionally detached, she wouldn't see it as a wrong thing to do, because in her eyes, without a bond between them he would've taken the "abandonment" better. But that's just what we think! Anyway, have a good day, afternoon or evening!

[zushikiss]

puppet to puppet

summary ; nahida assigns a puppet to take care of a puppet, how does it go??

warnings ; cursing if you count hell as a curse word, reader is a puppet but more robotic like if that makes sense, crack LIKE LITERALLY JUST CRACK

pairings ; scaramouche & gn!reader

notes ; this was taking over my brain during literature class so do enjoy, anyways there isn't really a relationship so this is platonic! can be famillial too if you want but view it however you want, also lmk if you want me to make this a series :p

Scaramouche was getting more and more pissed off! how was this supposed to be therapeutic? he just can't believe nahida at this point, sending in a puppet to accompany him, how is that supposed to make him feel better??

"Subject seems.. distressed?"

"Oh my archons, leave me alone."

"I am afraid i am unable to fulfill your request, i was sent in by nahida to accompany you."

that isn't the first time you repeated that quite frankly, even worse is you weren't like him at all! well sure you were both puppets but you seemed more robotic if anything, this was definitely not calming like what Nahida said, however if he couldn't escape you he might as well entertain himself for the meantime.

"Do a cartwheel."

and you obeyed, doing a perfect cartwheel, that was simply just a joke! did you not know what that was?

"Interesting... jump three times and wave then do a backflip."

and once more, you did as you were told perfectly, he was getting more and more amused by the second.

"Can you cook?"

"Affirmative, 118 recipes found in inventory, would you like to eat? Scaramouche?"

he thought long and hard for a while before settling on an Inazuman dish he hasn't had in a while, and by a while he means about 400 years.

"Make me unagi chazuke."

"Nahida says it is important to sharpen your manners."

"And?.. I want unagi chazuke, happy?"

"Say please."

Now what the hell? this was even worse than he imagined, he started weighing his choices, though saying please is easy he can't let Nahida get what she wants that easily, he must persist! but he really does miss inazuman cuisine, he can't believe he's doing something so embarassing.

"Fine, Please make me some unagi chazuke?"

"Subject said "Please" mission 1 succesful, as a prize here is your unagi chazuke."

you opened the velcro on your clothes, revealing your metal stomach as it opens revealing his ever so wanted dish, he slowly reaches in, his eyebrows raised as he hesitates.

"Thanks.."