#he just insults as flirting

[weaverpop]

So in this post:

@quitealotofsodapop brought up Ao Bing being potentially trapped in the progoda. And honestly? It fits.

Think about it. Your son’s best friends dad has your son litterally sacrifice himself or else he’d tell the Jade emperor. In it’s for killing Bing, in others it’s for Nezha bathing in the river. But each time it’s Ao Quang who treatens to tell the JE (like a child). And Nezha, not wanting his parents yo get in trouble, does so.

Cut to both kids being revived, Jing is still lowkey- MEGA pissed at Ao Guang, and let’s say Ao Bing says some comment or another to insult Nezha.

Jing see red. And whoops, he’s been progodaed.

Nobody knows until after s5, when so Bing angrily demands Jing fight him for the whole progoda thing. Everybody’s confused… until Ao Bing makes a wild insult in regulars to Nezha, and everyone watches Jing go near berserk. And with No progoda to put him in? Jing does the next best thing and tries to maim the other.

Thankfully the others manage to stop him, and drives Ao Bing away. But not before Ao Bing sees a certain monkey boy getting a bit too chummy with Nezha…..

[brainrotcharacters]

TW: Wolverine Badonkas

I laughed rewatching because like

[evilkaeya]

Sometimes I think I'm being dramatic but then I remember Dazai dropped the L word ONE DAY after meeting Chuuya

[justaz]

soft!merthur obsessed with each other and being completely, glaringly obvious about it. walking close enough for their fingers to be constantly brushing, talking with their other hand and refusing to break the touch. standing next to each other in a group, slowly shifting closer and closer until they’re pressed up against each other. despite there being other people, whenever they speak the other just has to respond leading them to turn to one another and have their own back and forth, their heads tilting closer and closer until their noses are just inches apart. merlin pretending to find issues with arthur’s clothes to fix that aren’t actually there just to touch him but arthur’s not gonna comment on that bc it means he gets to feel merlin’s touch. gazing at each other across the room, across the training field, across camp, etc and just watching them exist with the softest gaze and a small, tender smile. when the other feels their gaze they look up at them first and meet their eyes unflinchingly. them staring at each other for a moment before they resume what they should be doing (albeit slightly flustered). arthur finding any excuse to keep merlin in his chambers just a little while longer when he should be retiring for bed

[ratatatastic]

lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall

idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...

to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"

but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics

"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"

and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."

But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-

And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"

and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really

Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)

And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.

and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)

And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*

but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)

and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far

"You should really use your words."

"I am!"

"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."

"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"

"Sasha isn't most Alphas."

"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"

"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."

"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.

"It would work better if you use—"

"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.

like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know

[unlawfulchaos]

Maverick, trying to flirt: My dick is like life... Life is hard.

Iceman, blankly: Life is also short.

Maverick: Listen here, you annoyingly sexy son of a bitch-

Iceman, trying to contain his upset: You should know that my mother is an incredibly kind, respected, and well loved woman.

Maverick: I meant your father?

Iceman: ...

Iceman: Continue.

[victimized-martyr]

I love all your kyman hc's so much!!!!😭❤ I just need to hear more, so here are my questions: if kyman got married how would they act around each other? And do you think they'd adopt kids and if yes: what would they name them? And would they raise them jewish or christian or both?

Aaahhh I know there are too many questions I'm sorry 😭😭

Don’t apologize, I love talking about kyman :D

Regardless of context, the core of their dynamic is: Cartman is the instigator, Kyle reacts, a little back and forth, escalate the issue to Nth degrees of insanity, Kyle lands the final blow. Though sometimes, depending on the issue, Kyle lands the last punch thinking he’s won, only for Cartman to win the war last minute. Another way the show’s mixed things up, is that Kyle’s victory is undermined either by South Park itself, or Cartman. I see their marriage as an opportunity to expand their unique dynamic and introduce new plotlines/ jokes that couldn’t be done if they were still kids.

I see Cartman taking Randy’s place as the adult that’s always up to no good, the fixture of South Park’s weirdness. self serving hijinks flare up just about every week. Meanwhile, the Sharon (or straight man) to offset that cannot be anyone else but Kyle. This time however, unlike the marshes, and perhaps most couples in South Park, the Brofloski’s are truly in love. That’s kinda the joke. The couple that started out insulting each other and trying to kill each other on multiple occasions end up in the happiest relationship. I see them fitting nicely among the pantheon of sitcom couples— Mitchel and Cameron, Marge and Homer, Ralph and Alice, Gomez and Morticia. Their relationship, in Trey fashion, pays homage to and in the same breath, mocks those classic couples.

TLDR, Their dynamic is in tact, it’s just evolved to a new label. Instead of sort of friends-ish, they’re a couple. They’re still loud, obsessed with each other, fight over issues, hang out and share similar tastes. Only this time they got rings on their fingers. And if they don’t fistfight, how do they deal with their classic arguments? Well, like any sensible american couple, of course! they fuck each other’s brains out! ( just kidding. I have this vision of Cartman doing the most outrageous shit and Kyle chasing him offscreen in anger, Cartman shouting “domestic abuse domestic abuse!”)

I’m not sure what they’d name their kids. Does it matter? I do know what personalities I’d like them to have though— the 1st, their oldest, is outgoing, entitled, bossy, manipulative, a performative people pleaser, makes everyone’s problems their responsibility, and is quick witted. (A 2w3) Much like Eric, they are exceptionally charismatic and love being in the limelight. And like Kyle, they love getting involved in the lives of others, seen as helpful. The 2nd child is less outspoken, prefers to keep opinions to themselves, a dispassionate observer. ( poster child for 8w9) Like Eric, they’re materialistic, and prone to laziness. Still, they are an intellectual like Kyle, and far more principled in comparison to their sibling/Eric. They’re probably the most capable and dangerous in the family. They don’t shoot themselves in the foot like Cartman, and they don’t fight against the currents of South Park like Kyle. If they wanted to, they could take over the world and succeed where the Brofloskis failed. They just don’t care though lol.

I could never, ever see them as a two religion household. Yeah, Cartman has been portrayed as a bigoted Christian (or in his words, “[used] Christianity as an excuse to be a piece of shit”), but carrying that extremity to adulthood isn’t as funny. I don’t know how to articulate that other than, many extreme right wingers on twitter weren’t able to read Cartman’s bigotry in Cupid Ye as hyperbolic and instead took it as fact, and praised the stuff he whispered into Tolkien’s ears. His actions in Cissy were recently trending and was seen as heroic and like, justification why trans ppl can’t use whatever bathrooms they want. You can’t escalate the crazy stuff from real life anymore— it’s become reality. So the funniest thing to do, is either personify it as something else or, run in the opposite direction. If anything, PC has shown us that it’s funnier that the very same kid who once belittled Judaism in fact, became devoutly Jewish and proceeded to rub it in everyone’s faces rather than him ending up as some evil businessman. You rob bigots the chance to idolize Cartman, but give Cartman the freedom to hone his brand of idiocy on other things. So! Kyle slaps the antisemitism outta him, they get married, bam. They are a Jewish family.

[thegreatyin]

"two people start fake dating and this leads a person who wants to date one of them for real to run headfirst into a wall" is a frequent romance novel scenario ngl

OF ALL THE OCS FOR THIS TO HAPPEN TO. CAERU. THE GUY LITERALLY CREATED AND DESTINED TO DIE HORRIBLY.

[bloodanddiscoballs]

I love getting asked why I need a cane when I'm grocery shopping it's my favorite activity when I'm just trying to run errands

[inkivaarinensart]

Service with a smile Laughing all the while Murder or defile To make my father proud of me As his favoured son

The Dark Urge, Zar

(Lyrics by The Mechanisms- The Favoured Son)

[bumblingbabooshka]

'Parturition' is so brave for being the yaoi ship trope episode of Voyager. "Neelix and Tom Paris had a physical.....fight." Also continuing Tom's beautiful habit of loving both infidelity and child abandonment with all his heart. Also, wonderful out of context quote: "I had no right to push that pasta in your lap."

[saturnniidae]

I forgot how much of an ass merlin was hes so fucking annoying I'm glad he's dead tbh

[time-like-tears-in-rain]

River going "I understand the tardis!" while she could barely keep it in orbit meanwhile rose and the tardis shared a heart.

[ruvviks]

and last one is a bonus up to u. 🖋️ + thiago (i'm squeezing all the info out of you) or nikita, or even both if you want 🫶

oc asks!

nikita is the drummer of urban dynamite! he's one of the earlier members and a very important one at that, his perfect intuition and feel for the music they play making him very good at improvising and playing in on what the others are doing which greatly improves the music they make in general >:^)

he moved to the nusa at age 18 to escape his homophobic household and tried to get into acting at first, which went pretty well for him! he landed a job in a tv show with rowdy and lalo and even let lalo move in with him at some point. the two bonded over being in a foreign country and having no one to rely on anymore and nikita even ended up falling in love with his best friend for a while, but they never got together during this time despite their characters in the tv show they played in getting together

the show ended rather abruptly because lalo was getting himself into trouble with authorities a lot. this also caused him and nikita to lose contact with each other because lalo was isolating himself from all his friends and it upset nikita greatly, but he also understood. he ended up focusing on some more smaller acting jobs and eventually joined urban dynamite when rowdy invited him :)

nikita is a bit quiet but once he's talking he's very direct and blunt and isn't scared of what people will think of him. now that lalo is also part of the band, nikita's feelings for him are resurfacing a bit. well. a lot actually. he wants to kiss him so bad

THIAGO. my boyfriend thiago. freak on the loose in the desert. i will keep describing him like that i have to or i'll die it's so funny to me

thiago used to run with a nomad family and he genuinely loved it there so much. being on the move all the time was good for him, he liked the change, he liked the freedom, but he was also very unpredictable in the sense of getting distracted a lot and sometimes just going on his own gigs without telling anyone and other people would get so worried about him. but talking to him about it didn't help and it caused a lot of tension in the family which eventually caused thiago to just get up and leave forever. he didn't want to hurt them anymore :(

and ever since he's just been alone basically. lives in his car (haven't decided what kind yet but it's one of those nomad cars and it's heavily customized it's his BABY. that's his home right there he loves that car so much) with his cat ravioli who's about as stupid as he is. well. no ravioli is smarter than him actually. hyperactive little beast though he Will claw your face open (affectionately)

thiago spends most of his days riding around the badlands doing gigs for fixers or doing shady businesses with gangs. he often stops at garages or motels for a while to do some bar shifts there or fix up some cars for people to get some extra eddies and he's perfectly fine living all by himself. or so he keeps telling himself

at the same time, he keeps a very close eye on activity in the area; watching other nomad families as security measure. or so he tells himself. he secretly really just wants to be part of something again, wants to feel like he belongs somewhere but going to night city would only make him worse and crawling back to his own family would kill him a thousand times dead on the floor so he keeps telling himself he's FINE when really he's NOT

thiago is a bit of a distant man when you first meet him and he has no filter he will say Anything that comes to mind and only slightly regrets it afterwards. he's a big flirt. he's big smart but also big stupid at the same time. he HAS eaten cat food on several occasions and he WILL do it again. bit of a freak bit of a weirdo. loves to fuck. hasn't fucked in a while and you can tell. very deeply longs for meaningful connections with people but would rather die than admit it. loyal to a fault which is both a good and a bad thing because it's very easy for others to just use him for whatever. still VERY unpredictable though. he just needs to get adhd meds and that would solve like most of the problem tbh

[practically-an-x-man]

watching Black Mirror again

thinking about Nosedive and how the only time Lacey ever genuinely smiles is right at the end when she's trading insults/roasts with the man in jail with her

[ratatatastic]

forsy getting bullied for his beard its a bit of a saga 😭😭😭