#soft merthur will be the death of me

[justaz]

soft!merthur obsessed with each other and being completely, glaringly obvious about it. walking close enough for their fingers to be constantly brushing, talking with their other hand and refusing to break the touch. standing next to each other in a group, slowly shifting closer and closer until they’re pressed up against each other. despite there being other people, whenever they speak the other just has to respond leading them to turn to one another and have their own back and forth, their heads tilting closer and closer until their noses are just inches apart. merlin pretending to find issues with arthur’s clothes to fix that aren’t actually there just to touch him but arthur’s not gonna comment on that bc it means he gets to feel merlin’s touch. gazing at each other across the room, across the training field, across camp, etc and just watching them exist with the softest gaze and a small, tender smile. when the other feels their gaze they look up at them first and meet their eyes unflinchingly. them staring at each other for a moment before they resume what they should be doing (albeit slightly flustered). arthur finding any excuse to keep merlin in his chambers just a little while longer when he should be retiring for bed

[nightbaronness]

Bruh

okay okay listen i NEED to talk about this shot from sword in the stone because ohhhh my god.....

like this. THIS is the exact moment in merlin's speech convincing arthur to try and pull the sword from the stone when he says "you're the true king of camelot" and ohhhh you can just SEE that he really truly believes it with everything that he is. he's channeling all the love and devotion he has and it's all there in this one look. it is such a subtle and sweet moment between the two of them and it drives me insane

and then the lighting.. the softness of it and the way the sunlight illuminates them.... the LENS FLARE!!! the lens flare is so so so special to me because it is not a thing that tends to be used in this show and it just really highlights how significant the scene truly is

[ethan-acfan]

Merthur confession, but it comes in the form of Arthur being dramatic about Merlin's magic and is constantly accusing him of trying to enchant him, and it gets to the point where Merlin is like,

"Arthur, I love you to death, and I would watch this world crumble to ashes if that is what you want, BUT I AM BEGGING YOU TO STOP ASSUMING EVERYTHING I GIVE YOU IS A ENCHANTMENT, PLEASE!"

And Arthur is like, "Wait, you love me?" In this super soft voice.

Then Merlin's face goes red as he fumbles around for an excuse before just giving a half-hearted "prat" and running out of the room.

[hazzabeeforlou]

i had a question and i hope that it doesn’t sound rude. do you feel ashamed being in the fandom and being a shipper at 32? i ask because i am 27, and have been in the fandom since 2012, off and on. i haven’t rly been in it actively for the last two years or so, but when i want to come back, i feel embarrassed. i also don’t think i could handle the stress of it tbh! lol. i hope you are well <3

I was going to answer this yesterday but then remembered I had a 7 hour drive today and didn’t want to stay up later than I already was. Because I’m an adult, with (now one) previous multiple jobs, a pet, rent, vehicle, three post high school diplomas, and student loans, and there are many things in my life I get ashamed of, like when I answer “you too” when a cashier tells me thanks for shopping or when I let a whole bag of celery go bad in my fridge without ever cleaning or eating it. Shame? At my tax dollars funding death weapons and family members voting for strong men? Sure. Latent homophobic internalized shame from my upbringing? Yeah, sometimes.

But life is too fucking short to be embarrassed or hold shame about a FANDOM. Listen, I “ship” Johnlock, or Merthur, but Larry wasn’t a ship for me it was a discovery of queer joy. Like I’m so sorry but baby Larry was real. 100%, actually, seriously legit, like how else do you fucking explain any or all of that. We watched two boys fall in love with each other and okay we don’t know the devil or the details but we have how many albums and interviews, jokes made by media personalities etc, plus the fact that now, this many years later, their solo stuff is still haunted by a nauseating back and forth, these odd lyrical choices that are echoed in the other?

Yeah it’s not a ship. It’s a thing that happened, that we witnessed, and by virtue of it happening and us witnessing it something about gay love became dreamable, reachable, attainable, soft and puppy and exciting and wild. Their secret sign language and mimed blow jobs and jealous looks and touches when they thought there were no cameras, all those things made queerness not just something you saw on Glee. Not just something your parents talked about while wrinkling their nose up about ‘those people.’ It’s a generational thing, the world has moved on, we don’t NEED Larry anymore. And that’s okay. But we don’t need it because it happened. Not to be a brat but you exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you.

And yeah, we wrote fics about highly characterized and publicized versions of Larry, often inserting our own traumas or fantasies, creating a kind of gay mythos around this witnessed event from the periphery, from the lens of the consumer, the only lens we have. But I’m not ashamed of that. You think stories are only ever written about people that don’t exist? At some point you have to acknowledge that in our world, celebrities are the deities of our popular imagination. I could write a thesis, but before I get into the weeds, suffice to say Harry and Louis have created a world of what can be, unburdened by what has been.

Yk? Anyways. Hope this made you feel better. And hope you come back to visit from time to time. I’ll be here.

[onceandfuturelesbian]

merthur fanfic where arthur realizes merlin’s very obviously hiding something and after thinking and stalking, comes to the conclusion that merlin’s in love with him. he doesn’t know how he feels about it but he doesn’t treat merlin differently or says anything. after arthur becomes king, merlin nervously comes to tell him something. he’s very clearly nervous and fidgety so arthur’s like oh shit he’s gonna confess his feelings. instead, merlin confesses his magic. arthur’s absolutely shook cause what?!?? but he ends up being chill, removes the ban and makes merlin court sorcerer. a couple months later, merlin notices that arthur’s seemed really sad since the ban was lifted. merlin thinks maybe arthur wasn’t so good with magic after all. he goes to talk to him about it and arthur’s all like “no no it’s just- when you came to confess ur magic, i thought u were gonna tell me smthn else” cause obviously arthur’s the type of idiot that thinks someone can only have one secret and merlin’s been acting so much happier and lighter since the repeal so clearly he doesn’t care about arthur that way. “what did you think i was gonna tell you?” “it’s- uh- it’s stupid. i thought you- well i thought you were gonna tell me…” “what arthur” “ithoughtyouweregonnatellmeyouloveme” he basically mumbles but merlin hears. “…what?” he’s gobsmacked and arthur looks so insecure and won’t meet merlin’s eyes. before arthur can even blink, he’s being squeezed half to death by his own court sorcerer. “you clotpole, of course i love you.” arthur’s brain is short-circuiting and he’s all like “what?” and he can’t process what merlin said. merlin pulls back from the hug, grabs arthur’s face with both hands and forces him to make eye contact.

“arthur pendragon, i am in love with you.”

arthur’s eyes go even wider to the point where merlin thinks they may fall out, his mouth opens and closes as he processes.

when he says it, it comes out as barely a whisper.

“i love you too”

then boom merlin kisses him and it’s soft and sweet and arthur finally catches up to what’s happening and pulls merlin closer by the waist and they kiss for a long time then go cuddle on arthur’s bed and maybe talk idk

we love emotionally constipated arthur

[tabbytabbytabby]

Hey everyone! I got a new card for Bad Things Happen Bingo, if anyone wants to send me any of these. Pairings: Sterek, Thiam, Steddie, Creelson, Bucktommy, Jevan, Jeddie, Albuck, Tommy/Josh, Lokius, Therek, Miam, Nisaac, Morey, Steo, Scott/Nolan, Danny/Greenberg (or any Greenberg pairing), LawRusso, Keenoskowitz, and Merthur. And that’s just naming a few. I’ll also do gen, and have a soft spot for Laura Hale and Jenna Geyer. I'm also open to doing crossover pairings as well. 

Any questions, feel free to ask 😊. I just feel like writing some angst, and this has always been good at inspiring me. Also, if you don’t like major character death, please tell me when sending a prompt because things happen and it helps to know. 

[cbk1000]

do you have any merlin fic recs?

So I actually just gave several recs to someone last night asking from them in a comment thread on one of my fics. I'm just going to copy and paste that here since it's got all the links. These are all Merthur, M or E-rated.

The (Not So) Misfortunate Adventures of Merlin's Dick...Pic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1448158 (Merlin accidentally sends a dick pic to Arthur. Short, but funny and cute.)

lady_ragnell has lots of good Merthur fics; two of my favourites are The Future Soon https://archiveofourown.org/works/317838 (While scrying at one of Morgana's dinner parties, Arthur and Merlin see themselves married five years in the future and do everything they can to prevent it. Spoiler alert: they fail.)

No Matter How Far Away You Roam: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069420 (Arthur asks Merlin to be his fake husband for Christmas with his family.)

But really if you haven't read any of their work, I'd go through their (very large) backlog of fics and pick whatever strikes your fancy. There's another one where they work at a publishing house together and Arthur founds a new imprint of gay romance which he wants Merlin to write for; somehow he manages to miss that he's been living in a gay romance for years: https://archiveofourown.org/works/366393

Gibraltar May Tumble by shes_gone (Reincarnation fic; Merlin moves into a house on the coast which is being haunted by Arthur, a Victorian-era sea captain stuck between life and death.) https://archiveofourown.org/works/562861

Also Can't Buy Me Love by the same author: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372276 (It's a Mad Men AU set in the 60s where they all work at an advertising agency, but you don't have to have watched the show to make sense of it; I've never seen it and still really enjoyed the fic.)

All Bets Are Off by Magnolia822: https://archiveofourown.org/works/523143/chapters/925441 (Arthur bets he can stay in a relationship longer than Merlin can stay single. Of course the bet backfires.)

Where I'm Meant To Be by WhiteRoseCottage: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12911394/chapters/29498163 (Sweet Arthur Returns fic that's just a nice, soft little story about Arthur learning to live in the modern world and these two idiots realising their feelings for one another.)

Fools of Us All by adelagia: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746374 (Merlin accidentally spills a love potion on himself and makes everyone in Camelot fall in love with him. Except Arthur.)

Neither fish nor fowl by the same author: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746395

[sunnflow3rshowers]

Rp Search

In this year of Our Lord 2023, Omegle has fallen. (RIP) So here I am, laying all of this out, desperate to find more rp partners. I am 27, so I am only really interested in rping with people that are 21+. I am interested in both fandom and OC rps, depending on the mood and all of that. I will list the fandoms I'm looking for, as well as who I play, and general themes. I am a third person, literate roleplay, I stick to 1-2 paragraphs, but the length can always fluctuate depending on the roleplay and my roleplay partners. When it comes to RPs, I like them light and soft. I also like them dark and heavy, with lots of Whump, Angst, and Hurt/Comfort, as well as some darker themes that would require trigger warnings, all of which will be discussed privately, of course.

I prefer MxM for fandom rps, although there are some small exceptions for specific ships. I"m more open to MxF and FxF, and other pairings with more OC rps. With most Fandom Rps, I am looking for Shipping Rps, aka a Merthur rp, Kylux Rp, etc

Fandoms!

Fandom: Who I play

Teen wolf: Stiles Stilinski The Old Guard: Nicky Star Wars: Luke Skywalker, Armitage Hux Umbrella Academy: Klaus Stranger Things: Jonathan Byers, Steve Harrington The Hobbit: Bilbo Baggins The Witcher: Jaskier Kingsman: Eggsy Unwin ATLA: Sokka Our Flag Means Death: Lucius Spriggs Gotham: Oswald Cobblepot Merlin: Merlin Criminal Minds: Spencer Reid Hannibal: Will Graham Arcane: Viktor Spider-Man: Peter Parker (NOT MCU) GOT: Sansa (only paired with Sandor Clegane) The Eternals: Makkari (only paired with Druig) Detroit Become Human: Connor Good Omens: Aziraphale Agents of Shield: Fitz (as gay and not paired with Simmons) FAHC: Jack (fem) Yugioh: Joey Wheeler Person of Interest: Harold Finch Haikyuu: Suga, kenma X-men: Charles Xavier The Boys: Hughie White Collar: Neal The Goldfinch: Theo Hunter X Hunter: Kurapika, Shalnark Barry: No-ho Hank IT: Eddie Hawaii 5-0: Danny Daredevil (netflix): Foggy, James Wesley Fantastic Beasts: Credence Vikings: Athelstan OC Fandoms! Hit me up if you want to talk about rps in any of these. In these sorts of rps I am 110% down to double up if you play canon against my oc, all of which can be talked and discussed privately! Marvel Xmen GOT Star Wars Barry General Rps! I am a huge fan of brainstorming rps with general themes! Fantasy Horror Drama Sci-fi Cyberpunk Etc! Please please just reach out and I'm always going to be happy to brainstorm! If you made it this far, thank you so much! If you are interested, like this, leave a comment, send me a dm, or add me on discord @ sunnflow3rshowers !

[submissivelywritten]

Anyone wanna be an alpha/beta reader?

I’m working on a new merthur fic (rated E) and want a bit of feedback/help. Interested?

Overview: Expected length 25k/current length written 13k, Canon Era AU. Arthur’s waging a war on magic, hunting for Emrys to avenge his father’s death. Merlin surrenders himself to be Arthur’s captive, though it is well known that Camelot is dark, and knights/nobles abuse their captives. Dark Camelot. Soft Arthur. Sassy Merlin. Happily ever after. (Trigger warnings for sexual assault not between merthur, a culture of sexual assault, brief mention of suicidal thoughts, and consensual sexual content.)

What I’m looking for…someone to read through for characterization, pacing in the budding relationship, awkward sentences, and places where you as the reader want more details/information.

I prefer Google docs, and you can either shoot me a message or make comments on the doc. I’m not so much interested in spelling/grammar as I am your thoughts and unanswered questions about the world building/story.

Shoot me a message if you’re interested, and keep an eye out for a new fic soon!

[yoonnamjin25]

Ok but I need a post canon, Arthur returns, slow burn, Merthur, kind of fic where we can acompany our beloved king through the different stages of grief he will go through when Merlin tells him he's been dead for over 1500 years so he lost his kingdom, knights, friends and wife. A fic where we can see Merlin introducing Arthur to the 21st century and its technology that he insists is just magic, Mer-lin, I know it, I'm no fool. I know magic when I see it. A fic where we can see Arthur still struggling to fully trust on Merlin again because yes, he forgave him and he doesn't really care about the magic (except he does because Merlin's eyes look so beautiful when they are gold and where did that come from, Arthur Pendragon? Merlin, beautiful? Ha! The clotpole must've been right when he told you you shouldn't drink a third cup of that dark, strong, addictive beverage) but he still can't get over all the years of constant lies and deceiving, and Merlin feels guilty af so he tries to win his trust once again day by day and keep the promise he made to himself that day he finally confessed his magic to Arthur to not lie to him ever again. A fic full of fluffy moments between merthur where we can see them fall for each other harder slowly but surely until one day, after 3 or 4 months since Arthur came back, he finally kisses Merlin. And then they kiss some more. And more. And they are so happy grinning like idiots between kisses because finally they are on the same page. And everything is perfect. And Arthur suddenly loses his shirt somehow and things are getting heated although everything is still so soft and sweet and tentative. And then the doorbell rings. They ignore it at first, Arthur's orders, but the person behind the door is insistent so they have to stop so Merlin can go and see who it is. And when he finally opens the door, his jaw almost hit the floor because the person in front of him is no other than the fucking Queen of Camelot, his first and beloved friend, Guinevere Pendragon, the long ago dead widow of Arthur Pendragon, king of Camelot, whom he's been making out with seconds ago. And then everything goes downhill coz Gwen sees her husband and Arthur is so shocked to see her again and then they are hugging and smiling and kissing and glowing with happiness and then there's Merlin, with tears in his eyes as he sees them reunite again. As he sees Arthur reunited with his true love. And when the king finally takes a moment to process everything that is happening while having Guinevere laughing crying in his arms, his eyes find Merlin, his Merlin, the one he had in his arms minutes ago and everything comes crashing. Reality hits him so hard he can't even breathe for a second. Because he was happy with Merlin and even though he hadn't yet admitted it out loud, he knew, deep in his soul, that he was in love with him, but then Guinevere is back! His beautiful, amazing, sweet and wonderful queen who he loves with all his heart is back from the death and how is that even possible???

Phew! A fic full of drama and angst and hurt/comfort and tough decisions that Arthur will have to make eventually because he loves them both, but he only can have one and that is breaking him apart because he is a righteous man at heart and he knows that as a married man, his choice should be clear as water, but his soul is screaming at him because it wants something else, someone else, and he doesn't know what to do as he knows whatever he decides, one of the two people he loves the most in his life will end up brokenhearted. But life is unfair and cruel to everyone. Even to legendary kings.

So.

Can someone please write it?

For me???

Pretty please???

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

we will put the lonesome on the shelf (Merthur)

Merthur. Fix-it. Crossposted on ao3.

Merlin falls in love with Arthur. That's clear from even a cursory watch of this show.

So let's talk about this story, about how Merlin falls in love with Arthur and his duty and he calls it destiny but that's not why he stays, because he's terrified by Uther but that doesn't matter.

Merlin falls in love with Arthur because he's kind, and he's brave, and he's honorable, and he may not be Good with a capital 'G' but then again, who is? Merlin falls in love with Arthur because Arthur isn't a saint but he's not a monster, because Arthur is flawed and beautiful in his mistakes.

Merlin falls in love with Camelot because Arthur loves his country and he shows Merlin how to love it too, because a boy with magic sure isn't going to fall in love with the nation that demands he repress what he is or else face death.

Merlin falls in love with the people of this city, cowering and standing and kind and brave and broken. He falls in love with the peasants who trade in the marketplace, the knights who will lay down their lives for Arthur, even the cook who bops him on the head every time he passes.

Merlin falls in love. Let's call it what it is. He falls in love and he can feel his magic protecting a kingdom, a citadel, a King, all in the name of a silly boy who doesn't know just how precious he is to his manservant.

-

But see here's the thing: Arthur's not some oblivious idiot. If he was that much of an idiot, I don't think Merlin would have fallen in love with him.

So Arthur finds out about Merlin’s magic, because of course he does, because Arthur may be a bit thick and stuck up and yes, a clotpole, but he's not an idiot. When he finds out doesn't matter- if he knows from the beginning, if he figures it out when Merlin sends the light after him when he's searching for an antidote, if he witnesses Merlin scrubbing his armor with a levitating rag. That's not important, not to the story of Merlin and Arthur.

Because here's the key part of the story: Arthur doesn't mention it. At least, not at first. Merlin could be executed, after all, and Arthur already cares far too much about the servant who is the only person to disrespect him. He's not going to rat out Merlin to his father.

This is a fairytale, a bedtime story, of a prince falling in love with a servant and that servant falling in love right back. Merlin never gives up on Arthur and Arthur never gives up on Merlin.

But a happy ending is not waiting a thousand years for your lover to return from a watery grave. Arthur doesn't deserve that. Merlin doesn't deserve that.

So Arthur knows about Merlin's magic and his father dies and Arthur turns to Merlin and says, not even attempting any kind of tact because this is Merlin and manners have never mattered, “I know you have magic, and I want your help."

And Merlin will gape at him, because he'd thought he'd kept his magic a secret, and Arthur will sigh.

(Except Merlin's magic is, by this point, the worst kept secret in Camelot. Lancelot and Gaius know. Ealdor knows. Gwaine and Gwen suspect. Mordred and Morgana know. The whole world is aware of how easy it is to have magic and be the King's left-hand man.)

"Alright, then, Arthur," Merlin eventually says. "Tell me how I can help."

And Arthur smiles. -

Merlin is not soft. In no version of this story is he soft. He has killed dozens in the name of Arthur- he knows what it is to hold the power of life in your hands and choose without remorse.

But oh, Arthur is not soft either. No king is. He has led armies into battle, watched soldiers die by his sword.

(Once, years ago, his father told him to attack civilians, and him, in his youth, did just that. And it haunts him.)

“Do you think we're good people?” Arthur will ask Merlin one night, and Merlin will look up from the armor he's shining and be unsure how to answer. What is good? Can killers be good, if they’re working to a good goal?

"I don't know," Merlin will say, and that's the honest answer. "All I know is that I'm trying to be, and I think you are too. And that's good enough."

Arthur will nod. "Thank you."

Merlin will smile that crooked smile that had Arthur falling in love with him, all those years ago. "No problem, you clotpole."

-

So they're both in love and Arthur legalizes magic- because why would he ever keep Merlin's head on the chopping block when he has the power to save him. Merlin becomes Court Sorcerer and the two of them begin the long process of making the kingdom as close to good as they can make it.

And one night, a year since Arthur's father died, Arthur leans in and kisses Merlin, and Merlin kisses him back. Because this is a love story, you know, and these boys don't deserve to pine after each other forever. Let them have their love confession, their dramatic reveal, their kiss.

In the months that follow, Mordred becomes a knight and swears loyalty to his King with a smile on his face; Morgana learns magic without fear of persecution. A sword lies unclaimed in a stone and a girl sleeps at the bottom of a lake. Gwaine, Percival, Lancelot, and Elyan all become knights, and Gwen marries Lancelot in a ceremony attended by her King.

In the end, Merlin and Arthur unite Albion, legalize magic, bring peace to the kingdoms, and it's not because it's their destiny, but because they are too stubborn for their own good. And the world prospers for it.

-

So this is a fairytale, with a King and his Warlock, with a knight and his kingdom. And sure, there is no princess, but there is a Consort and a grand wedding, and Merlin only wears his crown when other monarchs visit, but they are living happily-ever-after.

Arthur and Merlin live, and it may not always be happy, but they're in love and every fight ends up resolved with a kiss and an apology.

One day, the names of Arthur and Merlin will be remembered as Great, and it's not because of a failed battle or a too-late confession. It'll be because these two men may not be Good, but they are trying their best.

And as Merlin says, that's good enough.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17673542

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Un/Certain Death

scuttles into your inbox hello there, might i request a bit of character A being Presumed Dead and then interrupting their own funeral? and maybe the other characters thinking its malicious magic and attack them (im a sucker for angst 🏃‍♂️) Maybe Merlin? but honestly any fandom would be cool here is a cookie! 🍪 – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: major character death/presumed death, people think Merlin's dead but he's not

Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 2582

    The first time Merlin truly believes Arthur will kill him, he's knocked onto his back with a furious cry, a sword digging into his neck.

He coughs, spluttering against the steel. The breath knocks out of him. He can only gasp. Arthur's eyes bore into him. They're rimmed red and swollen. Spittle flies from his lips as he pants down, leaning more than enough weight on his sword to have the metal bite into Merlin's neck. Every inch of him is trembled, coiled rage, as though begging for a reason to follow through and plunge his sword through him.

Merlin can't look away. He can't look away for the life of him. What else can he do? The man he has sworn to protect, the man he would gladly die for, the other half of his soul, how can he look away?

His Adam's apple bobs against the steel as he swallows.

"A-Arthur?"

"Don't," Arthur snarls, shoving the tip under his chin, "don't you dare."

He shuts up, hands slowly raising on the ground to lie next to his head. He does his best to go limp, to show he won't fight this, even though his chest is screaming, he won't fight it, not if it's what Arthur truly wants. He holds back the tears—he will not cry, he will not die a crying man on Arthur's sword—and slowly, slowly, wills himself to accept it.

It's only ever been for you, Arthur, he tries to say with his surrender, only ever for you. I've only ever done it for you. All for you.

"You have some nerve," Arthur growls, spittle still spraying, "out of all the faces you could have chosen, this one I will not allow you."

"Kill him," someone else snarls, "for daring to do such a thing."

Merlin takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for he is a coward, he truly is, he can't watch Arthur kill him. He feels the sword shift, pressing against the soft part of his throat, and Arthur inhales like he's about to push true, but then—but then—

"I can't," murmurs the broken man above him and Merlin can't hold the tears anymore, not when Arthur sounds like that, "I can't do it."

"Then allow me," the voice from before says as a new shadow falls over him—and Merlin is not too proud to admit he is too cowardly enough to run from someone who isn't Arthur so he opens his eyes—

Gwaine.

"Sorcerer," Gwaine spits, and he has never seen such disgust on Gwaine's face, nor the righteous fury of any of the knights that flank their King, as the sword lifts high into the air, "you've made your last mistake."

"Please, wait, wait—" a coward, you were right, Arthur, I've only ever been a coward— "wait, I'll go, I'll go, you'll never see me again, please, just—"

"That's the most pathetic sorcerer I've ever seen," Percival says lowly as Elyan scoffs, "at least die like the man you pretend to be."

He scrabbles in the dirt, trying to put more distance between him and the furious knights he once thought his friends, but the tears betray him and he sobs instead. "No—no, please, I'm not—it was only ever for Camelot, please, I did it for the good of Camelot—"

"Nothing good can come from this!" Arthur roars, even as Lancelot—Lancelot—holds him back with a reluctance that feels like a blade all its own. "What good could come from this?"

"To protect you, Arthur, to—only for you."

Arthur laughs, a cruel and merciless thing, before stalking forward and gripping him by the hair. "You're an idiot—" the insult has never hurt so much— "if you really wanted to do what was best for Camelot, you should have saved him."

He points over his shoulder, toward where the knights had been gathered before Merlin happened upon them in the clearing and—well, this had started. The sword shifts just enough to allow Merlin to sit up, to peer over the knights to see—

Wait.

Wait.

"…what?"

Gwaine scoffs, shoving him back to the dirt. "Figures that someone like you can't see the value in every life," he spits, as Merlin tries to erase the image of his own dead body from his memory, "but that man was a better one than you'll ever be."

"Gwaine—Gwaine, it's me."

"You dare—"

Merlin dodges the sword, for he's not dead, he's not dead, maybe he can convince them of that, if nothing else— "You say you spend your nights in the tavern when really you spend them building fires for the children who live on the streets. You know—you know what it's like to spend a night in the cold and you said you never want a child to experience that on your watch."

Gwaine's eyes widen and his sword fumbles.

"It could be a trick," Elyan mutters, "a memory spell as well as a physical one."

"It's not a spell, I'm me—I'm me—you and Gwen used to play that you were outfitting all the knights that came to the tourneys because some of their armor was gross. Gwen said you once tried to get a law passed about it."

"Wha—how did you—I've never told the real Merlin that, you—"

"Gwen told me," he says desperately, "I was helping her clean the training swords and she told me—"

"Kill him," Percival says firmly, "kill him before he has a chance to poison our minds against each other."

Gwaine's expression hardens and he lifts the sword once more, ready to swing—

"Wait!"

Gwaine freezes. Arthur's hand held out stilled him, but Arthur won't even look in his direction. Instead, his shoulder heaves and he turns to look at Leon, the only knight not to have moved since Merlin first appeared.

"Check." He jerks his head. "Is it really him?"

Leon stoops, touching the other body for a second, before he stands and walks over, his red cloak billowing around him as he crouches above Merlin. Merlin stares at him, pleading, begging, hoping that Leon can see that he's not lying, it really is him, it is, just believe him, please—

A gloved hand takes his chin and Merlin tries not to flinch. Fingers tilt his head up, up, exposing the long line of his throat. A sudden burst of hope lets him tilt it back even more, without Leon's instruction. He knows what Leon's looking for; on one of his first days in Camelot, a cruel guard who hadn't been informed of his new status as Arthur's manservant caught him trying to enter the prince's chambers and yanked him back by a thin piece of cord he'd had tied around his neck to hold his room key. The man might have strangled him had Leon not seen and saved him. Since then, aside from Leon assuring him that no matter who was mistreating him, even the King himself, that he would find safety with the knight, there had been a small, almost imperceptible divot in the flesh right under his chin where the knot in the cord had been.

Impossible to see, only detectable if you ran your fingers over it, if you knew where it was.

Leon's fingers find the spot, as they always have, and for just a moment, Merlin thinks he feels Leon's hand shake.

The hand cups the back of his head, lowering it to a comfortable position once more, and the face of his friend smiles softly at him.

"Hello, Merlin," he says, and he believes him, he believes him, "what were you doing so far from camp?"

"Well," Merlin manages, slightly strangled, "I was just trying to collect firewood."

Arthur lets out a breath as Gwaine roars, throwing his sword to the ground and gathering Merlin into the fiercest hug he's ever experienced. "You moron," he breathes, a touch too shaky to be truly stern, "we could have killed you."

"What happened," he croaks as Lancelot flies at him too, "what—why—"

"We came back to find you—well, what we thought was you dead," Percival says, guilt coloring his features as he gestures to the corpse, "and we…didn't take it well."

"But you are alive," Lancelot says, cupping Merlin's face in his hands, "you are alive and well and that is all that matters now."

"I'm sorry we didn't believe you," Elyan says as the rest of the knights not-so-subtly vie for their own opportunity to hug him, "I'm glad you're alright."

"'Course he's alright, he's Merlin," Gwaine bluffs, finally letting Merlin go only for him to be promptly snatched up by the others, "right, Princess?"

Merlin looks over Percival's shoulder only to see Arthur still staring at the corpse. He shoulders the knights away and carefully walks up behind him, going to place a hand on his shoulder.

"Arthur, it's okay," he tries, "I'm not dead, I'm right here—"

"Why didn't you deny that you were a sorcerer?"

Merlin freezes. Arthur turns to look at him, eyes still cold.

"We accused you of having magic," he says, voice icy, "and you didn't deny it. You said it was for the good of Camelot."

"A-Arthur, I—"

A chorus of yells comes from the knights as Arthur points his sword at Merlin's chest. Merlin swallows, the hope crashing and destroying itself as Arthur glares at him, but he swallows and raises his hands once more, sinking to his knees.

"It's the truth," he mumbles, "it was only ever for you. I only used it to serve you."

"Why?"

"Because you are the Once and Future King who will unite the land of Albion. It is your destiny," he says, for it is the only truth he will ever accept, "and it is mine to see you there."

More steel sings as the knights must draw their swords too but Merlin holds up his hand.

"Don't, don't, please…if—if this is what he wants, don't."

"We just got you back," Lancelot says lowly, and he can hear him shifting his feet into a fighting stance, "and you want us to lose you all over again?"

"This is treason," Arthur says, but even he must know that his odds against all of the knights aren't good.

"I've been called much worse for doing the right thing before," says Gwaine, and oh, if it's not some relief that his steel isn't directed at Merlin anymore, but no, Arthur doesn't deserve it either, "this one won't hurt."

"Please, please, don't fight, don't," Merlin says, "I can—I'll just go—you can banish me, you'll never see me again, just please—"

"He's on his knees and yet he's not begging for himself," Elyan says, "and you think he's a danger to Camelot?"

"He's lied to us—"

"He's protected himself," Percival objects, "that's not foolish."

Arthur looks back at him and Merlin doesn't dare hope— "You lied to me. You lied to me, Merlin, you lied and you lied."

"Yes."

"Why?"

He swallows. "You've lost so much to magic. I didn't—I thought—I thought it was best you didn't lose this too."

"Haven't I?"

"You haven't," comes Leon's smooth voice, "Merlin is here, he is here now with us, he is right in front of you."

Arthur's hand trembles.

"If you kill him," he continues, despite the rustle of movement to signify just how little anyone else favors that outcome, "then you will lose him. And you will have lost him at your own hand."

Merlin stares at him. For the longest moment, Arthur only stares back.

Then something in his gaze hardens and he lifts the sword, and Merlin closes his eyes for he is a coward, and he will die a coward who believes in Arthur—

Thud.

He's…well, he's not dead.

He cracks one eye open warily to see his own head roll past, Arthur standing panting over the prone corpse. After a moment, it shimmers and becomes another face entirely; the brows thicken, the nose broadens, the chin widens. A stranger lies dead and decapitated on the forest floor as Arthur flings his sword aside and falls to his knees, wrapping his arms so tightly around him that he can barely breathe.

"I'm sorry," he whispers with near-feral desperation, "I'm so sorry, I had to be sure, I just had to be sure—"

"You—that was a test?"

"Only you would be fool enough to let me kill you," Arthur says in a rush, still clutching him, "you're alive, you're alive, you—oh, Merlin—"

"Wait, wait—" he can't keep up anymore, his head is spinning— "you—you knew?"

"Knew what?"

"I'm—that I have—"

"Yes, Merlin," and oh, never once did he think he would be so relieved to hear the exasperation in Arthur's voice, "of course I knew. You're not exactly good at hiding it."

A sob escapes him. "It's for you, all of it—"

"Oh, shut up." Arthur buries his nose in Merlin's neck and Merlin whimpers at how damp Arthur's cheeks are. "You're safe, Merlin, that's all that matters."

"You're damn right—" right, the knights— "that's all that matters."

"I take it that since all of you were willing to commit treason that you're going to keep this a secret?"

"Sire," Leon says grandly, "you could not stop us if we tried."

"Wonderful."

"Though if you try and kill him again, we will kill you," Gwaine says just as proudly.

Arthur scoffs wetly. "As if I would."

The ball of fear that had been growing and growing in Merlin's lungs suddenly pops and he starts sobbing desperately into Arthur's shoulder. He almost died, he could have died, he could have—he might have—

"Oh, you big petticoat," he hears Arthur mumble as he's gathered up like a child, "come here, you big crybaby…"

"It's alright, now," Leon murmurs as something soft covers the pair of them—cape, his tired mind supplies belatedly, "you're safe. You're safe now."

"Shh, shh," Arthur soothes as the knights begin to make work of clearing the campsite, running his hand up and down his back, "it's alright now, I'm here, you're here, I won't hurt you, I would never hurt you."

"A-Arthur—"

"Shh-shh-shh, don't try and speak, you'll only hurt yourself."

Merlin gives in, huddling into Arthur's chest as though he could burrow inside and live there. He clutches Arthur back just as tightly, trying in vain to steady his breathing.

"That's it," Arthur murmurs as it starts to work, eventually, "that's it, Merlin, you're alright now."

"I'm sorry," he gasps against Arthur's throat, "I'm so sorry."

"I know, Merlin, I know. Me too. I'm sorry too."

"I forgive you," for what else can he do?

"I forgive you too." The embrace tightens for half a moment before a hand ruffles his hair. "Now, come on, where's that firewood."

He huffs out a laugh. "Prat."

"Clotpole."

"Still my word."

"And it suits you perfectly." Yet as Arthur leans back, his expression sobers and he cups Merlin's cheek in his hand. "You know I could never truly hurt you, right? Never. Never. I'd sooner fall on my own sword."

The words ring with sincerity.

The first time Merlin truly believes Arthur would never kill him, he smiles.

[maraleestuff]

The Moment of Truth - My Rewrite

(A fic idea that won’t leave me alone. Features Merthur endgame but divorce first ://)

So there was Big Set Up for a Magic Reveal in 01x10, that never really amounted to anything. Will knew that Merlin could probably end the issue with Kanen before anyone could be hurt, and Hunith saw that Merlin was preparing to do what it would take to protect Ealdor, even at the cost of himself. Pre-battle, he even alluded to the potential moment. As we recall, Will took the fall as sorcerer after taking a crossbow bolt/ arrow for Arthur.

But what if things had gone differently?

At the end of one of Arthur’s speeches, and Will had been outspoken, he paced up to Merlin. He wouldn’t reveal Merlin’s magic in front of everyone, never that, but he’s still mad. “There isn’t hope, Merlin,” Will says, unaware or uncaring that Arthur is still in earshot. “Your Prince will lead all of us to our deaths.”

“He’s trying to help—“

“But it won’t be enough,” Will retorts. “You know there’s only one way to win this battle. But first, you need to stop living a lie.” It’s not fair—even Will knows this—but he’s angry that his friend had to leave, that his friend plays servant to a spoilt prince.

And he can see it in Merlin’s eyes, the way he looks at Arthur—like the man is everything, destiny and honor personified. (He can see how this love hurts his friend, too.)

He’s angry that Merlin—his Merlin—isn’t quite the same anymore, that his best friend isn’t the one who returned to Ealdor. Because Camelot changed him. Arthur fucking Pendragon changed him.

Will storms away, ignoring Merlin’s call after him, and only stops when he rounds a nearby house. When he glances back, guilt fills him at Merlin’s sad, troubled look. Will tries to ignore the way Arthur is looking at Merlin; if Will didn’t know any better, he’d say the Prince is worried.

- - -

Later, before the coming battle, Merlin’s fingers tremble as he puts on a vambrace.

By now, he’s had about half a year of experience putting armor on Arthur—but it’s awkward and almost ill-fitting on himself. Arthur stands nearby, putting on his own armor with expert ease; a soldier and a knight, prepared for battle.

But Merlin feels nothing but a certain numbness, Will’s voice echoing in his mind. There’s only one way they can prevail against Kanen—at least, without anymore death.

He knows he needs to act. But can he risk it? Can he bear to have Arthur look at him like a monster? To be executed, or exiled? Can he bear to hope?

“Here,” Arthur says, drawing Merlin from his thoughts, as he helps Merlin with his vambrace. Merlin’s fumbling fingers hadn’t been getting anywhere.

“Thanks.” Merlin’s mouth is too dry, and he feels moments from being unable to simply breathe. He’s too nervous to make a comment about Arthur helping him for a change.

“Look,” Merlin starts, when he’s able to find his voice, “whatever happens out there, I don’t want you to think any less of me.”

“It’s alright to be scared,” Arthur says, surprisingly soft. “Even the most seasoned of warriors dread battle. And you’re not a knight, you’re a—“

“A servant?” Merlin asks. With Will’s distrust of Arthur on his mind, the reminder of his station, compared to Arthur, burns all the more.

“A civilian,” Arthur states. “You aren’t a soldier.”

“I know.” Merlin was supposed to protect Arthur, but he had no training, but for being Arthur’s training dummy and a smuggled book of spells.

Merlin takes a deep breath, securing his sheath on his waist. Gwen had gifted him a sword, but it’s weight was unfamiliar. He’d need to use it, until—

“Merlin,” Arthur says, shuffling with his own sword belt, expression pensive—Merlin knows him well enough by now to know that he was unsure about what he was going to say. It’s so unlike him that Merlin pauses, frowning. “What your friend said, what did he mean by that?”

Merlin’s stomach drops. But he feigns ignorance. “By what?”

“About living a lie?”

Merlin opens his mouth, but Morgana is suddenly shoving open the front door. “They’re coming, across the river.”

“We’ll head out, at once,” Arthur says. When the door closes, Arthur looks back at Merlin expectantly, a furrow in his brow.

“Whatever I have to do, remember that we’re in Essetir, not Camelot.”

Merlin leaves before Arthur can respond.

- - -

The plan goes perfectly—until everything goes wrong.

Will stands at Merlin’s side, as he conjures a storm and friend and foe alike are thrown in chaos. The battle is over quickly, then, and Arthur storms up to them, a thunderous expression.

“I’m the sorcerer,” Merlin says, heart pounding. Simple words for such a pivotal moment.

Arthur opens his mouth, fury and hurt in his face, but Will steps forward, too. “This isn’t Camelot,” Will says, at Merlin’s side. “Merlin can’t be punished by it’s laws.”

And then, before Arthur can respond, magic rings around Merlin like alarm bells, as the last vestiges of Kanen’s men attack. Kanen, stirring on the battlefield, raises a crossbow at Arthur’s back.

“No!” Merlin surges forward, around Arthur, flicking the arrow aside like a fly. Time is slowed, like molasses, or maybe it’s Merlin who’s moving faster—he’s never learned the difference.

When time rights itself, he’s in the thick of it, parrying the sword of a bandit. Behind him, somewhere, is the clink of Arthur’s armor and Will shouting.

Someone pushes Merlin aside; a whistle of an arrow, a sickening thwack as it hits someone.

Merlin looks around frantically and pales. Will, his best friend, a brother, staggers back, an arrow protruding from his chest.

“No. No!” Merlin’s ears ring. Suddenly, Merlin is on his feet, fury in his veins—he shoves Kanen and his men back, a yell burning his throat.

He doesn’t stop to watch them fall.

“Will!” Merlin kneels at Will’s side, hands hovering. There’s so much blood. Will’s breath a wheeze. Merlin’s studied a couple of healing spells, but nothing for this. Gaius is the Physician.

He doesn’t know what to do.

“Just hang on, just try to breathe,” Merlin tries to soothe, and he rambles more, but he isn’t totally sure what he’s saying.

Someone helps him get Will inside his house, on a table, but Merlin isn’t sure who. He doesn’t stop to glance. Arthur says something, but Merlin doesn’t hear it. Footsteps fade, and he’s alone with Will, his hand oddly cold, as Will wheezes for breath, tears in his eyes.

Merlin’s own eyes blur, but he ignores them.

“You’re a good man, Merlin,” Will gasps. Merlin grips his hand, unable to breathe—not because he dreads his secret being revealed, because, suddenly, he’s faced with a world where Will is gone. Not an old friend, in a distant village, just—gone.

“I’m sorry,” Merlin murmurs. “I don’t know how to heal you. I don’t—I can’t—“

“It’s okay,” Will says, weakly grasping Merlin back. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay. I was wrong about Arthur, you know. I don’t think I’ll ever really like him, but I see the way you two look at each other.”

“What?”

Will laughs, winces. “You’ve always been a decent judge of character, I think. If you see the King in him, then it must be in there…deep, deep down. And if he hurts you, I will haunt him till the end of his days.”

Merlin laughs wetly. His tears mix with the growing red stain. His hand is on Will’s chest, trying in vain to stem the flow, but Merlin can feel the life draining from Will. Not the blood, metaphorically, but with his magic; he can feel it drain, but he doesn’t know how to mend it.

“It’s been boring here, without you,” Will says.

“I’m sorry I had to go.” A part of Merlin will always feel that way, no matter of pratly princes and talking dragons. He’ll always miss goofing around with his magic or spear fishing or playing pranks with Will. The way you miss your childhood home that you can never truly return to.

Will starts gasping harshly. It isn’t far now.

“Merlin, Merlin, I’m scared—“

“I know. I’m here. I’m here.”

“I don’t want to die—I don’t want to be alone—“

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Merlin grasps Will’s hand, tightly.

The world stops when Will stops breathing. And though sobs catch in Merlin’s chest, though he can feel grief like a dark winter storm, for a brief instant, he is grateful.

Will isn’t in pain anymore.

- - -

Merlin doesn’t remember much of the preparations for the funerals—for Will, for Matthew, for all those who fell in battle.

He knows he’s the one who helps carry Will to the pyre. Merlin arranges Will’s grip around his father’s sword, leaves his woven leather bracelet in Will’s fingers. Gwen, Morgana, and his mother squeeze his shoulder, or murmur condolences—someone strokes his hair. He thinks Arthur is somewhere there, on the periphery, but Merlin can’t face that right now.

When the flames burn, all Merlin can hear is Will’s panicked voice. He stays, stays, stays, until the embers are cold, tears dried on his cheeks, dried blood and grime on his hands.

At some point, he kneels, fiddling with the grass at his knees.

A shadow eventually falls over him, or, maybe, it’s been there for awhile.

“Merlin,” Arthur says, armor clanking as he sits down. In the edge of Merlin’s vision, he reaches out a hand, hesitates, and drops it on his thigh. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” Merlin says. It’s one thing to know it’s not his fault—not everything is under his control, even with magic—but there is still this insidious voice.

If he had acted sooner, no one would’ve had to die. Will would still be alive.

“He—“ Arthur pauses, wets his lips. “He knew about…it, didn’t he?”

Merlin blinks, head feeling a little foggy. “It?”

“Your magic,” Arthur says, the moment Merlin had been dreading. Merlin feels very little now that it’s upon him.

“Yes.”

“He was trying to get you to stop the battle.”

“Something like that,” Merlin sighs. “Even I don’t know fully what I’m capable of.”

Supposedly the most powerful sorcerer to walk the Earth—but he couldn’t heal his friend.

“You seemed capable enough,” Arthur says. “That storm you conjured. I think some of Kanen’s men almost shat themselves.” Arthur pauses, glancing at Merlin, and Merlin realizes he’s trying to make a joke. Not to make light of his grief, but to help.

Merlin blinks, and a warm tear falls down his cheek without thought. “But not powerful enough. I felt Will’s life but I didn’t even know the first thing about healing him.”

Arthur’s hand warms Merlin’s shoulder, steadying him. “I…I can’t pretend to know the first thing about magic. But I know you. You did everything you could. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know.”

“It’s almost dark, Merlin. We should head inside. You can finish up my dinner.”

“How generous,” Merlin says wryly, but he doesn’t want to move just yet. “I can’t yet. I promised…” Merlin swallows. More tears fall. “I promised I wouldn’t leave him alone.”

“We won’t leave you alone either,” Arthur says, squeezing Merlin’s shoulder.

“We?”

“We,” Morgana says behind Merlin. When he turns around, she has two blankets: one she lays on the grass, the other she drapes around Merlin and Arthur’s shoulders. Gwen and Hunith trail behind her with steaming bowls of stew and a couple of candles.

“We,” Gwen confirms, handing out the bowls.

The four of them huddle together under the single blanket, while Hunith smiles solemnly.

“Try not to stay out too long,” Hunith says. She strokes Merlin’s hair, and smiles gratefully at Gwen, Morgana, and Arthur. “It gets cold after dark.”

Hunith plants an indulgent kiss on Merlin’s brow before heading back inside.

“You guys really don’t have to do this,” Merlin tells them.

“We do,” Morgana says. “You’ve been there for all of us. Even if one of us”—she sends a stink eye to Arthur—“doesn’t always acknowledge it.”

“We aren’t going anywhere,” Gwen adds.

“I promise, Merlin,” Arthur says. “Now, one of the best ways to keep someone alive is to tell their stories. So, tell us about Will. If you’d like.”

So Merlin does.

[achillesuwu]

I do not know if there is a lot of people that watched The Sandman and read the fic « Passing Stranger! (You Do Not Know How Longingly I Look Upon You) » but let me tell you : I think that kind of soulmate identifying soulmark would be PERFECT for Merthur.

So, in « Passing Stranger! (You Do Not Know How Longingly I Look Upon You) » (go read this fic it’s just SO good—) everyone has a mark that only a Reader ( - people that learned how to Read what Destiny wrote -) will be able to translate. It has a description of how they look, how they will love you and what are the first word that you will hear from them.

( Anyone who doesn’t have a soulmate get Death as their soulmate btw « There be a scythe, a reaping hand, held out with love to ye, » […] « And ye shall never want again, once yer bride-groom’s smile ye see. And what will be, shall; you’ll have the truest love of all.” » )

For exemple Hob Gadling mark here is read as :

Ye shall love the Seven’s third.

He, to whom every sleeper prays,

Who maketh ev’ry night-told tale:

Midnight his hair, and stars his gaze;

And his skin like bone and moon so pale.

Of him, through him, all the greatest poets sing

And though there be no crown upon his lordly brow

He be King! Yea, he be King,

And rules o’er all that e’er slept beneath the stars’ soft glow.

He’ll love ye strange, sweet Hob, my dear, by sunlight gone, by moonlight near - and only with ye every hundredth year.

And in the Book of Destiny, these words I Read to be his first…

“Did I hear you say you have no intention of ever dying?”

Why would it be perfect for Merthur ? Because

1. Merlin first word to Arthur were « hey, that’s enough » which could be anyone

2. If Uther consider that Reader are Sorcerers, Arthur will only learn about it later in life (#Angst)

3. Arthur will not think that it’s Merlin even if Uther doesn’t consider them to be Sorcerers because of what is mark says.

4. MERLIN IS EMRYS

Imagine, young Arthur that goes against his father and search for a Reader because he wants to know what is on his forearm

OR even better

Older arthur that get captured and a sorcerer Read his mark for the laugh (like

S: what is that ? Oh my, our new prisoner has a pretty big soulmark. I bet no one has ever Read it to you, little king

A: …

S :

‘Ye shall love the One born of blood shed.

He, giver of life, giver of Death,

The greatest to ever walk the earth.

Your protector, from your first to your last

And your first to your forever.

Your knight in your eyes he shall never be

Yet he will be, yes, he will be !

He, your otherside, your equal

Your shadow, forever in hiding

Dark his hair, fire and sky his gaze

Thunder and flowers his crown

From his first day, a king he is

He, who always was and always will be

He’ll love you whole, the man and the king

He'll know you like no one else will

Leave you, he shall never do

Wait for you, he will always do

and in the Book of Destiny, these words I read to be his first ‘hey, come on, that’s enough’

The Sorcerer get instantly paler when they Read the first sentences because they KNOW who is the new master of life and death. Their voice is shaking but they can’t stop to Read. When they finish they free Arthur as fast as they can because there is NO WAY in hell they are going to hurt EMRYS’ soulmate bye bye you didn’t see me

Meanwhile Arthur is very very very confuse because… his soulmate is a man ? His protector but not one of his knight ?? He is a king with flowers as crown (and thunder, yes, I heard, Merlin.) ??? A king who is not-his-knight-but-his-knight-too ???? The First words that Arthur will hear (will hear because of course didn’t meet the dude yet, he would know if he did. Especially if the guy has 2 eyes colors) are ‘hey, that’s enough’ ? How lame is that. Also the man is potentially a bloodthirsty king that’s going to stalk him. Arthur promptly decide that it’s bullshit.

(I didn’t write Merlin Soulmark but he definitely has a sentence that is like ‘ He’ll love you strangely. He’ll not know the king nor will he fully know the man but a glimpse is all he’ll need to fall hard and fast’ )

If Arthur finally understand that Merlin is his soulmate when Gaius tells him that some says that he is the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth. I think it would get extra angsty (without forgetting that when you hadn’t met your soulmate there is the kind of certainty that you will maybe not die yet)

[bugbonz]

gonna leave a cut bc i'm probably gonna ramble a lot oops

i first started watching Merlin in probably 2009 or 2010? i was very into British tv and was also on tumblr at the time so either one of those probably led me to it. i honestly don't remember. but i obsessively devoured the first two seasons over and over but then kinda fell away from it for a long time. i would come back to it every now and then and start over, but never make it past s2 until last year (2023) where i dove in headfirst again and it has consumed me ever since

right away i shipped merthur. my gay little heart couldn't not ship merthur. but after coming back to it now that i have life experience and whatnot, i honestly love all the ships.

favorite episode is...a tough one. there are so many that i love for so many different reasons. i guess if i had to pick a single one, i'd say "A Servant of Two Masters" (s4e6). i love the way it displays that everyone's absolute trust in Merlin is to a dangerous extent. plus, we get all the goofiness of the failed murder attempts.

i think my favorite scene would have to be when Merlin makes up the story about the sword in the stone to help Arthur believe in himself. just...him knowing what Arthur needs and being able to give him that boost is really special to me for some reason. (s4e13)

i really enjoyed seeing how Merlin interacted with Daegal in The Hollow Queen. i just find it really interesting to see him so on guard and standoffish but he still can't push aside his empathy.

the ending...oh boy. so i put this off for literally almost a decade. i knew the gist of what went down but i didn't know all the details of s5 and how the ending played out. for the longest time i would get to Diamond of the Day pt1 and just...stop. i couldn't bring myself to watch the last two episodes. i think i wasn't ready to let go of the story. i wasn't ready for the finality of seeing it for myself. but, since getting back into it in the last year, Merlin has brought me back to fanfiction. i even started writing again and i came up with a story idea that i really love but it starts with Arthur's death. so i needed to see it finally. and see it i did. i got as drunk as i possibly could and marathoned s5 with my wife and replica of Excalibur for comfort and just powered through it. i was a mess. so much happens in those last two episodes and i'm...not happy with how the show ended. i think there was so much potential that was wasted. BUT i'm happy that it has sparked so much creativity in the fandom to rewrite it in so many different ways.

oh boy, another tough one to pick a favorite headcanon. there are so many...i think one of my favorites has to be that Merlin is capable of shifting into different animal forms. just so much potential there.

okay i have two fics that stand out in my mind. both are merthur (tho i love fics of other ships too): Ironing Out The Kinks by lex18 is set in Camelot time. very NSFW but the characters are so well written and the story is so enthralling and my poor wife had to hear all about every moment of it every time a new chapter came out. i seriously have so much love for this fic. Dave by Camelittle is a modern AU with some NSFW moments but it's about Arthur and Merlin being comedians and it's just...it's so well written that i literally was watching youtube shorts of the show Taskmaster and spent a good ten minutes looking for clips of them only to realize that they aren't actually real. it's seriously SO GOOD. both of these fics just live in my mind constantly and i cannot recommend them enough.

my personal headcanon after s5...i have a few thoughts here but i'm actually still working on that one fic that takes place after it all so just...yeah. i have thoughts. they're cooking.

how am i supposed to pick a favorite character? honestly, that's such a difficult question. there are definitely easy answers to this. a lot of the main characters are just so good for so many reasons. but i have a soft spot in my heart for Tyr Seward. he deserved better :(

Merlin questions to do when you’re bored

1. How did you find out about merlin?

2. Do you have a ship? If so, when did you start shipping them?

3. What’s your favorite episode/two-parter?

4. What’s your favorite scene?

5. What’s your favorite quote/interaction? (ex | merlin: “how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?” | arthur: “i love poetry” merlin: 😀)

6. How do you feel about the ending? 😉

7. What’s your favorite headcanon in merlin?

8. Do you have a favorite merlin fic? Please share 😍

9. What is your personal head-canon after s5? (Ex: arthur dies and merlin waits for 1500 years | the roundtable lives | merlin becomes court-sorcerer)

10. What’s your favorite character?

That’s all!! Tell me if you want more!! Answer in the reblogs!! Or comment!! Or anywhere!!

[citharaposts]

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