#this show is gayer than i am

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

we will put the lonesome on the shelf (Merthur)

Merthur. Fix-it. Crossposted on ao3.

Merlin falls in love with Arthur. That's clear from even a cursory watch of this show.

So let's talk about this story, about how Merlin falls in love with Arthur and his duty and he calls it destiny but that's not why he stays, because he's terrified by Uther but that doesn't matter.

Merlin falls in love with Arthur because he's kind, and he's brave, and he's honorable, and he may not be Good with a capital 'G' but then again, who is? Merlin falls in love with Arthur because Arthur isn't a saint but he's not a monster, because Arthur is flawed and beautiful in his mistakes.

Merlin falls in love with Camelot because Arthur loves his country and he shows Merlin how to love it too, because a boy with magic sure isn't going to fall in love with the nation that demands he repress what he is or else face death.

Merlin falls in love with the people of this city, cowering and standing and kind and brave and broken. He falls in love with the peasants who trade in the marketplace, the knights who will lay down their lives for Arthur, even the cook who bops him on the head every time he passes.

Merlin falls in love. Let's call it what it is. He falls in love and he can feel his magic protecting a kingdom, a citadel, a King, all in the name of a silly boy who doesn't know just how precious he is to his manservant.

-

But see here's the thing: Arthur's not some oblivious idiot. If he was that much of an idiot, I don't think Merlin would have fallen in love with him.

So Arthur finds out about Merlin’s magic, because of course he does, because Arthur may be a bit thick and stuck up and yes, a clotpole, but he's not an idiot. When he finds out doesn't matter- if he knows from the beginning, if he figures it out when Merlin sends the light after him when he's searching for an antidote, if he witnesses Merlin scrubbing his armor with a levitating rag. That's not important, not to the story of Merlin and Arthur.

Because here's the key part of the story: Arthur doesn't mention it. At least, not at first. Merlin could be executed, after all, and Arthur already cares far too much about the servant who is the only person to disrespect him. He's not going to rat out Merlin to his father.

This is a fairytale, a bedtime story, of a prince falling in love with a servant and that servant falling in love right back. Merlin never gives up on Arthur and Arthur never gives up on Merlin.

But a happy ending is not waiting a thousand years for your lover to return from a watery grave. Arthur doesn't deserve that. Merlin doesn't deserve that.

So Arthur knows about Merlin's magic and his father dies and Arthur turns to Merlin and says, not even attempting any kind of tact because this is Merlin and manners have never mattered, “I know you have magic, and I want your help."

And Merlin will gape at him, because he'd thought he'd kept his magic a secret, and Arthur will sigh.

(Except Merlin's magic is, by this point, the worst kept secret in Camelot. Lancelot and Gaius know. Ealdor knows. Gwaine and Gwen suspect. Mordred and Morgana know. The whole world is aware of how easy it is to have magic and be the King's left-hand man.)

"Alright, then, Arthur," Merlin eventually says. "Tell me how I can help."

And Arthur smiles. -

Merlin is not soft. In no version of this story is he soft. He has killed dozens in the name of Arthur- he knows what it is to hold the power of life in your hands and choose without remorse.

But oh, Arthur is not soft either. No king is. He has led armies into battle, watched soldiers die by his sword.

(Once, years ago, his father told him to attack civilians, and him, in his youth, did just that. And it haunts him.)

“Do you think we're good people?” Arthur will ask Merlin one night, and Merlin will look up from the armor he's shining and be unsure how to answer. What is good? Can killers be good, if they’re working to a good goal?

"I don't know," Merlin will say, and that's the honest answer. "All I know is that I'm trying to be, and I think you are too. And that's good enough."

Arthur will nod. "Thank you."

Merlin will smile that crooked smile that had Arthur falling in love with him, all those years ago. "No problem, you clotpole."

-

So they're both in love and Arthur legalizes magic- because why would he ever keep Merlin's head on the chopping block when he has the power to save him. Merlin becomes Court Sorcerer and the two of them begin the long process of making the kingdom as close to good as they can make it.

And one night, a year since Arthur's father died, Arthur leans in and kisses Merlin, and Merlin kisses him back. Because this is a love story, you know, and these boys don't deserve to pine after each other forever. Let them have their love confession, their dramatic reveal, their kiss.

In the months that follow, Mordred becomes a knight and swears loyalty to his King with a smile on his face; Morgana learns magic without fear of persecution. A sword lies unclaimed in a stone and a girl sleeps at the bottom of a lake. Gwaine, Percival, Lancelot, and Elyan all become knights, and Gwen marries Lancelot in a ceremony attended by her King.

In the end, Merlin and Arthur unite Albion, legalize magic, bring peace to the kingdoms, and it's not because it's their destiny, but because they are too stubborn for their own good. And the world prospers for it.

-

So this is a fairytale, with a King and his Warlock, with a knight and his kingdom. And sure, there is no princess, but there is a Consort and a grand wedding, and Merlin only wears his crown when other monarchs visit, but they are living happily-ever-after.

Arthur and Merlin live, and it may not always be happy, but they're in love and every fight ends up resolved with a kiss and an apology.

One day, the names of Arthur and Merlin will be remembered as Great, and it's not because of a failed battle or a too-late confession. It'll be because these two men may not be Good, but they are trying their best.

And as Merlin says, that's good enough.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17673542

[laegolas]

“It’s just scrap,” Hua Cheng says about his ashes, his only weakness, the one thing that could destroy him, a creature who grew up unloved and cast aside.

Given freely to the person who is his reason for existing, a person who sees the value in every little thing, a god of scraps.

[thing-with-wings]

k but are they gonna pretend they aren't both sleeping in the big bed on the tour bus this time around or are we past that

[kloppenheimer]

asking for a black sails box set for christmas because this show is so scarce and unheard of that i’m terrified one day it will be wiped from existence and i need physical copies of the one and only thing i’ve ever truly cared about🙏

[msnihilist]

Bitches so desperate for yaoi that they're shipping Dale and Peri.

[dollopole]

Arthur’s talking about Merlin in this scene (02x03, “The Nightmare Begins”)

Let me break down this scene, not real quick, because, oh my Lord.

1) The choice of words, especially Arthur’s (and I’m not adding how tender they are spoken):

A) Arthur starts his reproach by saying that, “this has to stop.” Merlin’s first reaction could hint that he’s worried Arthur found out about his magic, but I don’t think that’s the reason. “There’s no point denying it.” Arthur has no idea Merlin had been the one to help Morgana in this episode; he couldn’t have known about Merlin guiding her to the Druids’ camp; he couldn’t have known Merlin had helped her get back, because no one had seen him. And Merlin knows this, so he shouldn’t be afraid of the magic, yet he freezes. He’s not scared that Arthur believes he and Morgana are a thing, since Merlin has never showed any interest in her, especially in the second season. Merlin stops, because he thought that Arthur figured out his silly, little crush on him. So, Merlin’s response, “denying what?”, around a gulp, makes much more sense. He knows Arthur could get angry if he finds out about Merlin’s true feelings. We can see Merlin is nervous but, the moment Arthur says, “the affections for the Lady Morgana”, Merlin’s second reaction is to smile. He knows he’s safe again. The love Merlin has for Arthur is as dangerous as the secret of his magic. But Arthur is also afraid, and we know why.

B) “Take some bit of advice from someone… Who—knows about women.” First of all, Arthur’s pause before deciding to use the word “knows”? It was intentional. Oh, please, this is too easy. Knows? Not, “has been with”, or “has talked to”, but knows? What, exactly, do you know, Arthur? (Barely nothing. Like I explained in my post here about why I believe Arthur isn’t attracted to women, he can’t even say “hello” to Gwen, without giggling like an imbecile, and you mean to tell me this same man knows about women? Sure). In retrospect, Merlin’s response is hilarious, since, after Arthur’s interactions with Gwen, and the failure of said interactions, Merlin definitely knows Arthur is just a laying liar who lies, (he also knows about what he’s actually lying about) and this is the best part of the scene. They’re both on common ground. Merlin is hiding his magic, and Arthur is hiding his own feelings, much like his manservant, except that Merlin believes Arthur wouldn’t reciprocate. It’s like they both know what they are actually telling each other, but can’t really say it out loud. Meanwhile, Arthur is hoping his words would make Merlin stick by his side, rather than by someone else’s.

D) “The king would have your head, if he found out.” Uther would have Arthur’s head, if he finds out about his son’s affections for Merlin, a man, in the same way Uther would have Merlin’s head, if he finds out about his magic (or his feelings for Arthur, for this matter). Therefore, Arthur is projecting everything he’s saying onto Merlin. It’s a warning to himself. Arthur’s refraining himself from doing or saying something he knows it’s impossible for him to have.

C) “Stick to girls who are more… How can I put it… On your level.” Arthur isn’t on Merlin’s level, and Merlin isn’t on Arthur’s. And they could never be. Not in this case. Arthur cannot be in a relationship with him, so they will never be on the same level as partners.

D) “She can’t be your friend… Let alone anything else.” If Arthur is really referring to Gwen here, instead of Merlin, then why does this phrase make no sense? Arthur is friend with Gwen. He knows that they truly love each other, and that one day, when he is crowned king, he will marry her. That’s the only thing Arthur has always been sure about, and maybe has doubted only once or twice. But if Arthur was, theoretically, to marry a man, who is also his friend, then his phrase makes total sense. And it changes meaning. Merlin can’t be even a close friend, let alone Arthur’s lover. In a world where queerness has to be hidden much like magic needs to be, Arthur cannot be seen being that friendly with Merlin, who, ops, happens to be a man. “I can’t really be seen buying my servant a drink.” As he says in season one, Arthur is very aware of the situation he and Merlin have been put in. So, no, she can’t be anything else, but Arthur isn’t afraid of telling Gwen of this, especially when he realises what he feels for her, so why should he feel differently now that he saw Merlin might have affections for Morgana? Arthur wants Merlin to stay alone just a bit more, much like he is alone, in a world that’s against who he actually is. He wants an ally in his loneliness and isolation.

E) “You can’t hide anything from me, Merlin.” Arthur says it in hope that his message is clear, satisfied that Merlin is going to be his just for a little longer (this man cannot, for the love of him, communicate feelings, let’s all forgive him). And Merlin responds with, “wouldn’t dream of it”, because he longs to be the only one by Arthur’s side too, but he also knows that it’s not going to be like that forever, and that his dream is going to shatter, once he’ll realise he could never be with Arthur romantically, and he has to give up his feelings for the greater good (like always).

2) The facial expressions:

These speak louder than words. Merlin’s eyes, as soon as he realises what Arthur’s talking about, flicker closed and open so many times, disbelief painting his features at how Arthur could even think that Merlin, of all people, would want to be with Morgana, when he has already sacrificed everything he is and had for Arthur and his sake. It’s almost as if Merlin’s grumpy that Arthur could think that, and Arthur watches in the distance while he speaks, as if melancholic over something that hasn’t happened yet. And before parting ways, we can see Arthur’s eyes linger over Merlin’s face, his neck, as he squeezes and pats his palm over Merlin’s shoulder, testing to see if he can actually be true to his words and not do anything else. It’s almost like Arthur is telling Merlin that they could part ways together, if only he was more courageous. But they don’t, and things stay the same. And when Arthur actually goes away, Merlin’s smile fades so quickly, we can see he wants to follow Arthur like always. It’s a metaphor of how, in this case, they would always have to keep apart.

3) Last, but not least, Arthur’s touches:

He can’t seem to let go. He watches Merlin entirely, scanning him up and down, before deciding to go with his plan and placing his palm on Merlin’s shoulder. And he does not just place it, oh no. He guides Merlin the entire time he speaks. And Merlin doesn’t move a muscle (I swear the pat on the shoulder is their mating dance). Homeboy’s touch starved, so Arthur makes sure Merlin watches him while he lingers his caress, and listens to him, and Arthur has the bit of freedom to touch him. Merlin’s body automatically turns into Arthur’s grip, without complaint, because that’s where he belongs, and the both of them are aware. Arthur crushes Merlin’s shoulder, and let himself be vulnerable, even if only for a small fraction of time, before going away with everything he has stored for so long already: Merlin, and what he harbours for him on a daily.

I think the real meaning behind the scene has been hidden like in so many other ones. Gwen could be described in the same way Merlin is often described, so that no one would question the scene further, except that I did, and I made it much more homosexual. I believe Arthur’s words were meant for Merlin and Merlin alone. And deep down, Merlin knew all along too, but didn’t act on it, on none of his feelings, incapacitated after Arthur’s so many warnings.

If Merlin’s secret to hide is his magic, then for Arthur, it’s his queerness.

Two side of the same coin and all that. *angrily shakes fist in the air*

[apostaterevolutionary]

I’m trying to glean from your posts if soukyuu no fafner is a yaoi but the characters have that early 2000s androgynous look so I can’t tell ☠️

Anon this is making me laugh so much cause it did not even occur to me that the genders would be the ambiguous part lmao (context: it's the same art style as a show I was obsessed with in my teens, so that art style raised me, you know)

Anyway, they are both dudes, yes, (and the genre is actually a mecha, idk if that's clear, the robots do not feature heavily in the posts I can find lmfao) but the question of 'are they gay' is like. There are definitely some Moments, although no on screen smooching (though surprisingly like. There's het options that are baited too and yet never go anywhere either - as far as on-screen relationships go, celibacy won in the end), but at the same time like. The only way I can describe it is with this diagram

I can't really explain it fully without just infodumping the entire series lmao but trust that I am not exaggerating when I say it might be the most intense relationship I've ever seen in anything ever, and I have seen A Lot of things

[divyasoup]

1x07 | Excalibur

Enjoy this half-baked screencap redraw. I may refine it later, but I need to finish a final paper now :)

[slozhnos]

watching season two of smash always hurts because kyle deserved so much better! i am a firm believer that they should have killed derek instead

[oblivions-dawn]

Korrasami didn't hold hands just so everyone could keep shoving "gay" men down my fucking throat in an animated show with LESBIAN SEX and these tags should be fucking louder about it

Genuine Question

[fingertipsmp3]

First volunteering shift tomorrow 😵‍💫

[mothtarts]

why did jayvik feel more queer than caitvi?? well i think i know

preface!!!! i’m a trans masc lesbian ok i’m like the biggest lesbian lover i was the #caitvi lover s1. but over the course of s2 i felt my love for them kinda go away. and instead i became obsessed with jayvik.

now. why am i making this bold ass claim. they literally had the lesbian sex. that’s so gay??? yea duh pls stop poking jokes about “what’s gayer blah blah or blah blah” obv the lesbian sex is gayer.

BUTTT the actual relationship of caitvi feels much more sanitized and toned down. The problem of Caitlyn and her arc this season to adds to the discomfort I have with CaitVi. Here we have an ultra-wealthy political and military leader deciding to genocide, because that’s what it was, genocide. an entire people. because of the actions of one person. and who’s people is it but vi’s. and instead of having any sort of repercussions for those actions. she is rewarded with a loving and passionate relationship with Vi. Who didn’t even properly fight or bring up her mass extermination efforts against the undercity. Now cutting to real world issues, i understand they were trying to use nazi imagery to make Cait more menacing, but with the actual gassing and fumes being used in current genocides in Palestine and Armenia, it felt kinda tone- depth to just have her use it and not acknowledge it afterwards. Sure she loses an eye, but she still has all her money and power.

Now let’s look at jayvik. Jayce is a character who originally was tempted towards power and influence, joining the council and trying to embrace the expectations of society, he comes to realize that his true love and meaning is viktor and helping society. Viktor someone also from the undercity, but instead of being complacent to the struggles of his people, as Vi was when she joined the raids against the undercity, uses his newfound gifts to try to help his people. Jayce in act 3 realizes he has no similar interests left the capitalist society he was confined to, and left Mel Mel, (whom I do love btw and is my fav character in the show so pls stop diminishing her jayvik fans.) The woman who had manipulated him and brought him down the path of basically selling his soul for expansive and destructive progress. He realizes that he must self-actualize with Viktor to truly realize his dreams. these characters who reject the expectations put upon them, and instead of conforming chose to make a new path with each other, something so much queerer than fucking marrying a nazi cop or whatever cait and vi did.

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil!

First of all, thank you so, so much for both the book and the tv show of Good Omens, they both quickly became my comfort fandom and I always turn to Aziraphale and Crowley when I'm sad. I really love them and am eagerly waiting for the third season.

I wanted to ask you a book related question, probably people have already ask you before but I never found an explanation: when you and Terry wrote that people thought about Aziraphale as “gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide”, did you meant it as actually "gay" or as "always happy"? Because the paragraph immediately after says that this wasn't true because angels are sexless unless they make an effort, so I always thought he was seen as a gay man (also explains Shadwell using slurs against him), but it's true that "monkey on nitrous oxide" seems to refer as someone who's just always happy...

What's the right interpretation?

Thank you very much again!

No we meant gay as in homosexual. The "as a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide" is using the simile in a humorous way, acknowledging the double meaning of the word gay.

If you listen to the Radio 4 show Bleak Expectations, written by Mark Evans, you will find this humorous trope used frequently.

[emotionaldisaster909]

HEY WHAT IS THIS

WHAT IS THIS ADD????

WHY IS IT SO BEAUTIFUL?????

SUDDENLY MORE OFFICIAL DONGHUA CONTENT??????

THANK YOU??????

LOOK AT FAFA

HE LOOKS SAD, YOU KNOW WHY???

BECAUSE HE IS

JEALOUS

BC APPARENTLY????

EATING LIME IN CHINESE MEANS

BEING JEALOUS

ALO I CAN’T TAKE THIS AMOUNT OF HUA CHENG’S MOUTH SHOTS

I AM UNWELL

AND XIE LIAN????????

LOOKING SO RADIANT????

LRKDKKDKDKJD I WOULD EAT ANYTHING FROM THOSE HANDS

WHAT IS THIS SHOT SUPPOSED TO MEAN????

ANS XIE LIAN BLUSHES AGAIN

WHAT ARE THOSE ADDS

WHY ARE THEY SO BEAUTIFUL

WHY ARE THEY GAYER THAN THE SHOW ITSELF???? HELLO??????!?!?!

THANK YOU DONGHUA?????!?!

[househeritageposts]

hey I’ve never watched house but I slipped into some sort of trance while scrolling ur blog and binged every post and now I’m tempted to start because what the fuck just happened to me

PLEASE watch at least a couple episodes of house. it is gayer than one would expect of a mid-2000s tv show, it is also so much funnier and smarter than one would expect. also i am very pleased to hear that you enjoyed this silly little blog, xoxo

[andy-wm]

his “coming out” should not be in any way shape or form be connected to jungkook. idk why you shippers can’t leave them tf alone when they’re not dating ffs.

[Select.font=sarcasm]

Oooh I am so glad you came here to tell me this, Anon! You are clearly well informed on both Jimin’s life, and "coming out".

I didn't even know that "coming out" needs to be in inverted commas. Thank you for helping me understand.

I also didn't know what his "coming out" should or should not be! I didn't know there were rules for "coming out"! I'm so grateful to have this information now.

I hope you've also told Jimin how he should "come out"?

I hope he listens to you since obviously, you have his happiness at heart.

Because "coming out" with no significant other to support him - and facing the inevitable repercussions alone - that would DEFINITELY make things better for him, right?

Also we all know how much Jimin LOVES being alone, so naturally we should wish that for him.

Objectively, he would be happier if he was single I guess? Because having a secure and healthy long term relationship with someone who loves and supports you is known to be pretty shit. Makes sense... that's why nobody looks for love. They certainly don't write songs about love.

Ever.

People aspire to being isolated, like Jimin showed us this with his song Serendipity.

When he sang "just let me love you" he probably meant he wanted to be single and live alone forever in his bubble. That makes sense.

And of course they aren't dating!

You're right, there's absolutely nothing special between Jimin and Jungkook. They are 100% platonic and good pals.

It would be ridiculous to look at them and see love and intimacy.

I dont know what love looks like, but this is not it...

Definitely not this either.

Just friends here.

So friendly!

Brothers even!

Keeping to the bro code here too, 100%

Absolutely no crossing of boundaries here....

I always caress my friend's clothes when I sing their own love song back to them. Especially when my face is less than a foot from their face. It's very platonic.

Anyway, there's no reason to think they might be dating.

Why would people even think they COULD be?

It's unimaginable.

Society has never ignored or dismissed loving romantic relationships between same-sex couples, and that's certainly not what you're doing. Not at all. You just know they aren't dating because ... reasons.

I'm sure you don't object to Jimin being gay because that would be homophobic (you even know how he should "come out"). If that was the case you might as well just get a tattoo of an L on your forehead and throw away all your Jimin merch because our boy is gayer than a rainbow cake. Gayer even than the rainbow cake his appa has *always in stock* in his coffee shop in Busan.

And if you generously tolerate his gayness, i imagine you will allow that one day he could date (definitely not now, because he probably has no interest in sex. He's too busy working and anyway he has ARMY to love him) yeah, but not now please.

But one day he could have a nice boyfriend who sits beside him on the sofa and smiles benignly and holds his hand like a good boy.

Definitely NOT one that sings about fucking night after night seven days a week, or watching in 3D, or DEAR GOD... the imagery... champagne confetti.

Not someone who sings Sam Smith songs on his Live, or who goes around whacking off fire hydrants in his music videos or miming blow jobs on national tv.

Not someone that demands you see him as an adult who enjoys adult things and wont accept your judgement of him. Not one who puts boundaries in place.

Not someone who (the audacity!) lies in bed naked and begs Jimin to come over.

And that brings us to the villain of our story:

JEON JUNGKOOK

I guess, since you will allow a relationship in theory, you just object to the idea of a relationship specifically with Jungkook.

And I can see why. Jungkook very obviously has no interest in Jimin’s happiness. Jungkook doesn't support him at all.

He doesn't hold jimin when he cries, he doesn't spam us with Jimin content when Jimin has a comeback, he doesn't cook Jimin’s favourite food for him, or fold his underpants while he does his own laundry.

He doesn't take him on trips to Japan, or send thirst-trap messages for his birthday, or play his songs, or sing on his albums.

He doesn't carry him, bridal style, any time Jimin jumps into his arms, and I can guarantee you that he doesn't let Jimin fuck him just the way Jimin likes it, as often as he wants it, wherever and whenever he gets the chance. And vice versa.

They didn't enlist in the military as companions, after all.

So reallly, what would Jungkook even know about Jimin's happiness?

What could he POSSIBLY know about Jimin that you don't know. Nothing, right?

What could POSSIBLY happen behind closed doors and away from the camera, that you don't see with your third eye and your vivid imagination? Again, nothing. You know ALL, right?

[Deselect.font=sarcasm]

I think we've covered everything?

Theres only one thing left to say i guess.

Whoever you are, you'd do well to consider whose happiness you're supporting.

If you don't support what makes Jimin happy, you don't support Jimin. Period.