#this show is gayer than i am
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aletterinthenameofsanity · 2 years ago
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we will put the lonesome on the shelf (Merthur)
Merthur. Fix-it. Crossposted on ao3.
Merlin falls in love with Arthur. That's clear from even a cursory watch of this show.
So let's talk about this story, about how Merlin falls in love with Arthur and his duty and he calls it destiny but that's not why he stays, because he's terrified by Uther but that doesn't matter.
Merlin falls in love with Arthur because he's kind, and he's brave, and he's honorable, and he may not be Good with a capital 'G' but then again, who is? Merlin falls in love with Arthur because Arthur isn't a saint but he's not a monster, because Arthur is flawed and beautiful in his mistakes.
Merlin falls in love with Camelot because Arthur loves his country and he shows Merlin how to love it too, because a boy with magic sure isn't going to fall in love with the nation that demands he repress what he is or else face death.
Merlin falls in love with the people of this city, cowering and standing and kind and brave and broken. He falls in love with the peasants who trade in the marketplace, the knights who will lay down their lives for Arthur, even the cook who bops him on the head every time he passes.
Merlin falls in love. Let's call it what it is. He falls in love and he can feel his magic protecting a kingdom, a citadel, a King, all in the name of a silly boy who doesn't know just how precious he is to his manservant.
-
But see here's the thing: Arthur's not some oblivious idiot. If he was that much of an idiot, I don't think Merlin would have fallen in love with him.
So Arthur finds out about Merlin’s magic, because of course he does, because Arthur may be a bit thick and stuck up and yes, a clotpole, but he's not an idiot. When he finds out doesn't matter- if he knows from the beginning, if he figures it out when Merlin sends the light after him when he's searching for an antidote, if he witnesses Merlin scrubbing his armor with a levitating rag. That's not important, not to the story of Merlin and Arthur.
Because here's the key part of the story: Arthur doesn't mention it. At least, not at first. Merlin could be executed, after all, and Arthur already cares far too much about the servant who is the only person to disrespect him. He's not going to rat out Merlin to his father.
This is a fairytale, a bedtime story, of a prince falling in love with a servant and that servant falling in love right back. Merlin never gives up on Arthur and Arthur never gives up on Merlin.
But a happy ending is not waiting a thousand years for your lover to return from a watery grave. Arthur doesn't deserve that. Merlin doesn't deserve that.
So Arthur knows about Merlin's magic and his father dies and Arthur turns to Merlin and says, not even attempting any kind of tact because this is Merlin and manners have never mattered, “I know you have magic, and I want your help."
And Merlin will gape at him, because he'd thought he'd kept his magic a secret, and Arthur will sigh.
(Except Merlin's magic is, by this point, the worst kept secret in Camelot. Lancelot and Gaius know. Ealdor knows. Gwaine and Gwen suspect. Mordred and Morgana know. The whole world is aware of how easy it is to have magic and be the King's left-hand man.)
"Alright, then, Arthur," Merlin eventually says. "Tell me how I can help."
And Arthur smiles. -
Merlin is not soft. In no version of this story is he soft. He has killed dozens in the name of Arthur- he knows what it is to hold the power of life in your hands and choose without remorse.
But oh, Arthur is not soft either. No king is. He has led armies into battle, watched soldiers die by his sword.
(Once, years ago, his father told him to attack civilians, and him, in his youth, did just that. And it haunts him.)
“Do you think we're good people?” Arthur will ask Merlin one night, and Merlin will look up from the armor he's shining and be unsure how to answer. What is good? Can killers be good, if they’re working to a good goal?
"I don't know," Merlin will say, and that's the honest answer. "All I know is that I'm trying to be, and I think you are too. And that's good enough."
Arthur will nod. "Thank you."
Merlin will smile that crooked smile that had Arthur falling in love with him, all those years ago. "No problem, you clotpole."
-
So they're both in love and Arthur legalizes magic- because why would he ever keep Merlin's head on the chopping block when he has the power to save him. Merlin becomes Court Sorcerer and the two of them begin the long process of making the kingdom as close to good as they can make it.
And one night, a year since Arthur's father died, Arthur leans in and kisses Merlin, and Merlin kisses him back. Because this is a love story, you know, and these boys don't deserve to pine after each other forever. Let them have their love confession, their dramatic reveal, their kiss.
In the months that follow, Mordred becomes a knight and swears loyalty to his King with a smile on his face; Morgana learns magic without fear of persecution. A sword lies unclaimed in a stone and a girl sleeps at the bottom of a lake. Gwaine, Percival, Lancelot, and Elyan all become knights, and Gwen marries Lancelot in a ceremony attended by her King.
In the end, Merlin and Arthur unite Albion, legalize magic, bring peace to the kingdoms, and it's not because it's their destiny, but because they are too stubborn for their own good. And the world prospers for it.
-
So this is a fairytale, with a King and his Warlock, with a knight and his kingdom. And sure, there is no princess, but there is a Consort and a grand wedding, and Merlin only wears his crown when other monarchs visit, but they are living happily-ever-after.
Arthur and Merlin live, and it may not always be happy, but they're in love and every fight ends up resolved with a kiss and an apology.
One day, the names of Arthur and Merlin will be remembered as Great, and it's not because of a failed battle or a too-late confession. It'll be because these two men may not be Good, but they are trying their best.
And as Merlin says, that's good enough.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17673542
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laegolas · 1 year ago
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“It’s just scrap,” Hua Cheng says about his ashes, his only weakness, the one thing that could destroy him, a creature who grew up unloved and cast aside.
Given freely to the person who is his reason for existing, a person who sees the value in every little thing, a god of scraps.
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thing-with-wings · 6 months ago
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k but are they gonna pretend they aren't both sleeping in the big bed on the tour bus this time around or are we past that
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kloppenheimer · 21 days ago
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asking for a black sails box set for christmas because this show is so scarce and unheard of that i’m terrified one day it will be wiped from existence and i need physical copies of the one and only thing i’ve ever truly cared about🙏
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msnihilist · 4 months ago
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Bitches so desperate for yaoi that they're shipping Dale and Peri.
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gd-dollopole · 4 months ago
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Arthur’s talking about Merlin in this scene (02x03, “The Nightmare Begins”)
Let me break down this scene, not real quick, because, oh my Lord.
1) The choice of words, especially Arthur’s (and I’m not adding how tender they are spoken):
A) Arthur starts his reproach by saying that, “this has to stop.” Merlin’s first reaction could hint that he’s worried Arthur found out about his magic, but I don’t think that’s the reason. “There’s no point denying it.” Arthur has no idea Merlin had been the one to help Morgana in this episode; he couldn’t have known about Merlin guiding her to the Druids’ camp; he couldn’t have known Merlin had helped her get back, because no one had seen him. And Merlin knows this, so he shouldn’t be afraid of the magic, yet he freezes. He’s not scared that Arthur believes he and Morgana are a thing, since Merlin has never showed any interest in her, especially in the second season. Merlin stops, because he thought that Arthur figured out his silly, little crush on him. So, Merlin’s response, “denying what?”, around a gulp, makes much more sense. He knows Arthur could get angry if he finds out about Merlin’s true feelings. We can see Merlin is nervous but, the moment Arthur says, “the affections for the Lady Morgana”, Merlin’s second reaction is to smile. He knows he’s safe again. The love Merlin has for Arthur is as dangerous as the secret of his magic. But Arthur is also afraid, and we know why.
B) “Take some bit of advice from someone… Who—knows about women.” First of all, Arthur’s pause before deciding to use the word “knows”? It was intentional. Oh, please, this is too easy. Knows? Not, “has been with”, or “has talked to”, but knows? What, exactly, do you know, Arthur? (Barely nothing. Like I explained in my post here about why I believe Arthur isn’t attracted to women, he can’t even say “hello” to Gwen, without giggling like an imbecile, and you mean to tell me this same man knows about women? Sure). In retrospect, Merlin’s response is hilarious, since, after Arthur’s interactions with Gwen, and the failure of said interactions, Merlin definitely knows Arthur is just a laying liar who lies, (he also knows about what he’s actually lying about) and this is the best part of the scene. They’re both on common ground. Merlin is hiding his magic, and Arthur is hiding his own feelings, much like his manservant, except that Merlin believes Arthur wouldn’t reciprocate. It’s like they both know what they are actually telling each other, but can’t really say it out loud. Meanwhile, Arthur is hoping his words would make Merlin stick by his side, rather than by someone else’s.
D) “The king would have your head, if he found out.” Uther would have Arthur’s head, if he finds out about his son’s affections for Merlin, a man, in the same way Uther would have Merlin’s head, if he finds out about his magic (or his feelings for Arthur, for this matter). Therefore, Arthur is projecting everything he’s saying onto Merlin. It’s a warning to himself. Arthur’s refraining himself from doing or saying something he knows it’s impossible for him to have.
C) “Stick to girls who are more… How can I put it… On your level.” Arthur isn’t on Merlin’s level, and Merlin isn’t on Arthur’s. And they could never be. Not in this case. Arthur cannot be in a relationship with him, so they will never be on the same level as partners.
D) “She can’t be your friend… Let alone anything else.” If Arthur is really referring to Gwen here, instead of Merlin, then why does this phrase make no sense? Arthur is friend with Gwen. He knows that they truly love each other, and that one day, when he is crowned king, he will marry her. That’s the only thing Arthur has always been sure about, and maybe has doubted only once or twice. But if Arthur was, theoretically, to marry a man, who is also his friend, then his phrase makes total sense. And it changes meaning. Merlin can’t be even a close friend, let alone Arthur’s lover. In a world where queerness has to be hidden much like magic needs to be, Arthur cannot be seen being that friendly with Merlin, who, ops, happens to be a man. “I can’t really be seen buying my servant a drink.” As he says in season one, Arthur is very aware of the situation he and Merlin have been put in. So, no, she can’t be anything else, but Arthur isn’t afraid of telling Gwen of this, especially when he realises what he feels for her, so why should he feel differently now that he saw Merlin might have affections for Morgana? Arthur wants Merlin to stay alone just a bit more, much like he is alone, in a world that’s against who he actually is. He wants an ally in his loneliness and isolation.
E) “You can’t hide anything from me, Merlin.” Arthur says it in hope that his message is clear, satisfied that Merlin is going to be his just for a little longer (this man cannot, for the love of him, communicate feelings, let’s all forgive him). And Merlin responds with, “wouldn’t dream of it”, because he longs to be the only one by Arthur’s side too, but he also knows that it’s not going to be like that forever, and that his dream is going to shatter, once he’ll realise he could never be with Arthur romantically, and he has to give up his feelings for the greater good (like always).
2) The facial expressions:
These speak louder than words. Merlin’s eyes, as soon as he realises what Arthur’s talking about, flicker closed and open so many times, disbelief painting his features at how Arthur could even think that Merlin, of all people, would want to be with Morgana, when he has already sacrificed everything he is and had for Arthur and his sake. It’s almost as if Merlin’s grumpy that Arthur could think that, and Arthur watches in the distance while he speaks, as if melancholic over something that hasn’t happened yet. And before parting ways, we can see Arthur’s eyes linger over Merlin’s face, his neck, as he squeezes and pats his palm over Merlin’s shoulder, testing to see if he can actually be true to his words and not do anything else. It’s almost like Arthur is telling Merlin that they could part ways together, if only he was more courageous. But they don’t, and things stay the same. And when Arthur actually goes away, Merlin’s smile fades so quickly, we can see he wants to follow Arthur like always. It’s a metaphor of how, in this case, they would always have to keep apart.
3) Last, but not least, Arthur’s touches:
He can’t seem to let go. He watches Merlin entirely, scanning him up and down, before deciding to go with his plan and placing his palm on Merlin’s shoulder. And he does not just place it, oh no. He guides Merlin the entire time he speaks. And Merlin doesn’t move a muscle (I swear the pat on the shoulder is their mating dance). Homeboy’s touch starved, so Arthur makes sure Merlin watches him while he lingers his caress, and listens to him, and Arthur has the bit of freedom to touch him. Merlin’s body automatically turns into Arthur’s grip, without complaint, because that’s where he belongs, and the both of them are aware. Arthur crushes Merlin’s shoulder, and let himself be vulnerable, even if only for a small fraction of time, before going away with everything he has stored for so long already: Merlin, and what he harbours for him on a daily.
I think the real meaning behind the scene has been hidden like in so many other ones. Gwen could be described in the same way Merlin is often described, so that no one would question the scene further, except that I did, and I made it much more homosexual. I believe Arthur’s words were meant for Merlin and Merlin alone. And deep down, Merlin knew all along too, but didn’t act on it, on none of his feelings, incapacitated after Arthur’s so many warnings.
If Merlin’s secret to hide is his magic, then for Arthur, it’s his queerness.
Two side of the same coin and all that. *angrily shakes fist in the air*
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divyasoup · 8 months ago
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1x07 | Excalibur
Enjoy this half-baked screencap redraw. I may refine it later, but I need to finish a final paper now :)
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slozhnos · 5 months ago
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watching season two of smash always hurts because kyle deserved so much better! i am a firm believer that they should have killed derek instead
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croc-odette · 2 years ago
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i’m going to make a jack shepard playlist and it’s going to have heal the pain by george michael on it
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oblivions-dawn · 21 days ago
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Korrasami didn't hold hands just so everyone could keep shoving "gay" men down my fucking throat in an animated show with LESBIAN SEX and these tags should be fucking louder about it
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Genuine Question
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fingertipsmp3 · 4 months ago
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First volunteering shift tomorrow 😵‍💫
#it’s at a new local charity shop that benefits an animal charity#i went there on thursday night and the manager’s son showed me and others how to use all the important things#he was really nice. it seems like a good culture#he was kind of cute also but i found his instagram and he’s even gayer than me. which is fine#anyway i’m only there on tuesday mornings#i just thought it’d get me out of my rut and allow me to put something on my cv#and i can also help an important charity at the same time#none of it seems crazy complicated. like the till was Way simpler than the one at my last job#it’s just that it’s a touch screen and i’m not used to touch screen tills lol. like how do you cashier at light speed on that#get me a keyboard and i’ll clear your queue and frazzle the populace#there’s that and labelling. which basically i get to stab stuff with a tag maker. fun!#the only thing that kind of stresses me is signing people up for gift aid but i might just.. never do it#unless someone gives me good vibes#like i’m not asking anyone even remotely belligerent to sign up for gift aid. i am asking 20 somethings with the backbone of a string bean#he did say not to worry about it unless someone is donating a lot of stuff or high ticket items#so yeah. that’s the situation#i’m just nervous because it’s a new place; new people; my knee’s been acting up this week#i just ate too much and i also have to post a package tomorrow so i’m really worried i’m going to accidentally do something weird#like leave my package at the shop or try to volunteer at the royal mail#look it’s fine. it’s fine! it’s once a week#it’s once a week and my edibles are arriving tomorrow! god willing#i ordered a cupcake box and each one is like 300mg and i haven’t had weed in over a month#so don’t be surprised if the next thing you hear from me is ‘the shift went fine and also i’m blasted’#okay i’m gonna do a bedtime yoga; take herbal nytol and go to sleep#hopefully.#personal
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mothtarts · 25 days ago
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why did jayvik feel more queer than caitvi?? well i think i know
preface!!!! i’m a trans masc lesbian ok i’m like the biggest lesbian lover i was the #caitvi lover s1. but over the course of s2 i felt my love for them kinda go away. and instead i became obsessed with jayvik.
now. why am i making this bold ass claim. they literally had the lesbian sex. that’s so gay??? yea duh pls stop poking jokes about “what’s gayer blah blah or blah blah” obv the lesbian sex is gayer.
BUTTT the actual relationship of caitvi feels much more sanitized and toned down. The problem of Caitlyn and her arc this season to adds to the discomfort I have with CaitVi. Here we have an ultra-wealthy political and military leader deciding to genocide, because that’s what it was, genocide. an entire people. because of the actions of one person. and who’s people is it but vi’s. and instead of having any sort of repercussions for those actions. she is rewarded with a loving and passionate relationship with Vi. Who didn’t even properly fight or bring up her mass extermination efforts against the undercity. Now cutting to real world issues, i understand they were trying to use nazi imagery to make Cait more menacing, but with the actual gassing and fumes being used in current genocides in Palestine and Armenia, it felt kinda tone- depth to just have her use it and not acknowledge it afterwards. Sure she loses an eye, but she still has all her money and power.
Now let’s look at jayvik. Jayce is a character who originally was tempted towards power and influence, joining the council and trying to embrace the expectations of society, he comes to realize that his true love and meaning is viktor and helping society. Viktor someone also from the undercity, but instead of being complacent to the struggles of his people, as Vi was when she joined the raids against the undercity, uses his newfound gifts to try to help his people. Jayce in act 3 realizes he has no similar interests left the capitalist society he was confined to, and left Mel Mel, (whom I do love btw and is my fav character in the show so pls stop diminishing her jayvik fans.) The woman who had manipulated him and brought him down the path of basically selling his soul for expansive and destructive progress. He realizes that he must self-actualize with Viktor to truly realize his dreams. these characters who reject the expectations put upon them, and instead of conforming chose to make a new path with each other, something so much queerer than fucking marrying a nazi cop or whatever cait and vi did.
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neil-gaiman · 1 year ago
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Hi Neil!
First of all, thank you so, so much for both the book and the tv show of Good Omens, they both quickly became my comfort fandom and I always turn to Aziraphale and Crowley when I'm sad. I really love them and am eagerly waiting for the third season.
I wanted to ask you a book related question, probably people have already ask you before but I never found an explanation: when you and Terry wrote that people thought about Aziraphale as “gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide”, did you meant it as actually "gay" or as "always happy"? Because the paragraph immediately after says that this wasn't true because angels are sexless unless they make an effort, so I always thought he was seen as a gay man (also explains Shadwell using slurs against him), but it's true that "monkey on nitrous oxide" seems to refer as someone who's just always happy...
What's the right interpretation?
Thank you very much again!
No we meant gay as in homosexual. The "as a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide" is using the simile in a humorous way, acknowledging the double meaning of the word gay.
If you listen to the Radio 4 show Bleak Expectations, written by Mark Evans, you will find this humorous trope used frequently.
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tvoyaluna · 1 month ago
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what's gayer than worshipping her strap as if it's an actual cock? as if she can feel my warm tongue licking on it? as if she can feel how wet it is in my mouth? pleasing it like it would actually make her cum? holding her hips while deepthroating the whole thing to show her how slutty I am for her? letting her hold my head so i can stay in my place 'cause she's actually getting pleasure from this treatment? maintaining eye contact to see how she reacts to every little thing I do just as if she can actually fill my mouth full?
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emotionaldisaster909 · 11 months ago
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HEY WHAT IS THIS
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WHAT IS THIS ADD????
WHY IS IT SO BEAUTIFUL?????
SUDDENLY MORE OFFICIAL DONGHUA CONTENT??????
THANK YOU??????
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LOOK AT FAFA
HE LOOKS SAD, YOU KNOW WHY???
BECAUSE HE IS
JEALOUS
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BC APPARENTLY????
EATING LIME IN CHINESE MEANS
BEING JEALOUS
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ALO I CAN’T TAKE THIS AMOUNT OF HUA CHENG’S MOUTH SHOTS
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I AM UNWELL
AND XIE LIAN????????
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LOOKING SO RADIANT????
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LRKDKKDKDKJD I WOULD EAT ANYTHING FROM THOSE HANDS
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WHAT IS THIS SHOT SUPPOSED TO MEAN????
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ANS XIE LIAN BLUSHES AGAIN
WHAT ARE THOSE ADDS
WHY ARE THEY SO BEAUTIFUL
WHY ARE THEY GAYER THAN THE SHOW ITSELF???? HELLO??????!?!?!
THANK YOU DONGHUA?????!?!
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househeritageposts · 7 months ago
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hey I’ve never watched house but I slipped into some sort of trance while scrolling ur blog and binged every post and now I’m tempted to start because what the fuck just happened to me
PLEASE watch at least a couple episodes of house. it is gayer than one would expect of a mid-2000s tv show, it is also so much funnier and smarter than one would expect. also i am very pleased to hear that you enjoyed this silly little blog, xoxo
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