#he just be standing there like a little gremlin penguin

[are-we-really-doing-this]

🫱✨Magic Fingies✨🫲

[parttimepuff]

I’m sure it’s gonna go fine, you guys just need to calm down a little. This is dreamland after all, when has anything bad ever happened here?

Every single person in the room was some varying shade of Displeased. "Git the hell out." Dedede demanded. "Language." Reverie scolded. The king paused, remembering there was a kid in the room. "Git." He corrected himself. That seemed to satisfy the Dream Fae. Deeply pissed, Beep growled. "Fuck off." After a moment, she realized what she'd just done. "…snrk." The penguin tried and failed to fully suppress his laughter. Reverie, slumping a bit in defeat, shook his head. "…it's, not that important." He mumbled, knowing full well he'd given up on getting her to stop awhile ago. "Uh huh. Ah guessed." Dedede chuckled. The Matter remained silent, but was visibly relieved that her habit hadn't actually done any harm. Regardless, she stayed in the corner of the ceiling she'd chosen. Some tension gone, Gremlin pushed forward. "I, guess we can just, do an introduction?" He suggested. "Ah kinda think we all know who's who." Dedede pointed out. "I don't. I didn't know they'd be here." Kirby reminded them, gesturing at Beep. "She." Reverie sternly corrected. "She'd be here." The hero echoed. "It’s Beep." The Matter hissed while bristling up again. "And I, I know who you are. And Dedede." She added, not having forgotten their conversation.

"Ok, Beep." Kirby repeated, making sure to remember it. He fell silent again, still not sure how to feel. "…yeah. Ah, didn't really expect to, see ya here." Dedede admitted. Gremlin crossed his arms. "She's here for Rev, just like we are. And, you've apparently already kinda met." He recalled, the news which had unnerve him at the time. "We talked. Once." Beep clarified, prompting the hero to give his friend a bewildered look. "You did???" He questioned in disbelief. The kind nodded. "Mm, yeah. She ain't who yer thinking of, Kirb." He told him.

"But I’m here for Dad, not to hurt people." Beep continued, glaring at Kirby. The weight of the mistake in judgement he'd made was visible in the hero's expression. "….oh…." Kirby mumbled, glancing away. The king spared his friend an understanding glance. Not long ago, he would have been much worse. "And yer right, he's who we're here to see. Rev?" Dedede addressed him, the Dream Fae flinching hearing him say his name. "A-ah, yes?" Reverie replied, struggling to hold his gaze.

It wasn't lost on him. "Ah'm not gonna press ya, just wanna hear about you." Dedede assured him. This caught Beep's attention as she lowered a little from the ceiling. "And then you’re gonna let him be a person here right? And not have to hide? Right?" She asked, her ardent hope shining in her eye. It made the king's heart ache that something this basic a right, and not even for her, was ever doubted in her mind. "Yes. He'll get his citizenship, just like Twister." He promised.

That lifted her father's spirits as well. "Th-thank you, for giving me a chance." Reverie murmured. "It's honestly the least ah can do." Dedede responded. Beep's eye lit up, even if she couldn't be fully relaxed. "Then you don’t have to be scared anymore, Dad…" She prompted him. "Y-yeah..!" Her father agreed, though he was still fluffed up. "…it's ok if you still are. Ah got the gist of you not having a great time with the other guy." The king expressed "Y-yeah…." The Dream Fae admitted, glancing away. "Yeah, other you is a jerk, you’re much cooler." The Matter praised.

The king grinned at that. "Appreciate that, kid." He replied. Beep grinned right back, glad to have done something right and drifting a bit lower. While Beep was drifting away from the ceiling slowly, however, Gremlin was quickly growing to meet it. "Uh, I'm, just gonna head out for a sec, if that's ok?" The Dream Demon asked, his brother nodding reluctantly. "Nn, yeah." Noticing his apprehension, Luna hopped up to stand with him and in front of the Fae. "I'll hold your spot." She insisted. "Heh… thanks." Gremlin accepted.

"Glad I don’t do that…" Beep thought aloud. "Yeah, it's annoying. See ya in a minute." Gremlin said before vanishing in a flash. Left with much smaller cover, Reverie slouched in a vain attempt to be behind Luna now. "Oh yeah." The Matter realized, lowering a little more so she was by Luna, helping give her father a barrier. She smiled back at him, hoping to reassure him and he returned the gesture. "…we could start with you talking about where you're from, Rev?" The puff suggested. "R-right, right." He mumbled, trying to compose himself. "Ok, so… I'm from, the other side of the mirror. Um, I was from Earth until… y'know." Reverie began, getting stuck already. The king nodded solemnly. "Happened on both sides, huh?" Dedede guessed. "it did…." The Dream Fae confirmed. Beep paused, looking back at him. "That’s why the big sky portal scared you, isn’t it?" She figured. "Y-yeah, that's why…" Her father confirmed, Luna patting his wing reassuringly. "The-oh. Yeah, ah was pretty unconscious for that, but ah can get why it messed with you." The penguin expressed.

"I don't think anyone who saw it wasn't scared…" Kirby thought, still looking to the side. "It was scary, but you got better!" Beep encouraged him, trying her best to help. And it was helping, her father's feather's lying a bit flatter. "I did…" Reverie agreed. The Matter grinned. She was successfully making things better! She would do her best to keep that trend going.

[thotsforvillainrights]

I was looking for some new skeptic stories

But all I seeing is you simping for a washing machine man

(No hate, but still)

SIMPING FOR!? I would personally destroy that damn machine with my bare fists if he were real!

(Anyway, since you mentioned my darling gremlin Tomoyasu, I’ve had this stupid idea in my drafts for a hot minute now lol. Hope some Dad!Skeptic is okay with yah!)

~Dad!Skeptic: The Apple Doesn’t Fall To Far From The Tree~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

“Hey Tomoyasu, you busy?” Your head popped through the doorway of the office. He stopped typing for a moment and stared at you. Although his bangs covered his eyes, you already knew what his expression was. “Y/N are you dense? I’m always busy.” You laughed before walking in the room and standing behind him. He went back to typing as your rubbed the tenseness out of his shoulders. “Well I just needed a favor from you is all. Think you can handle it?” He hummed and paused his typing once more. “What’s in it for me?” He was already going to do whatever you asked. This was just him playing around with you. “What’s in for you hmm? Well...” You leaned down and whispered in his ear, first moving the hair out of the way of course. “I’ll show you that special little outfit I bought from the mall after Tomoko goes to sleep. I have a feeling you’ll want to see me in it~” He gulped before quickly saving his work and shutting his laptop.

“I’m listening.” 

“I need you to pick Tomoko up from school today.” He immediately grimaced. “No deal.” He grunted before swiveling back around in his chair and opening his laptop again. “Awww c’mon Skeptic! I really need your help with it! I need to run to the store and grab the ingredients for dinner tonight since I got caught up napping earlier. I didn’t have time to do it. Pleeeease?” He scoffed and shook his head. “Hell no. You know I don’t do well in traffic. It’s 3:00 and you already know the road is cluttered with a bunch of dimwits that don’t know how to drive. I’m not doing it.” You groaned  as you wrapped your arms around him and placed your head atop his. “Pretty please? I’ll do anything Tomoyasu!” He sighed in defeat and closed his laptop once more. You let go of him and stepped back as he swiveled around in the chair before standing up to face you. “Anything eh? Alright fine. 3 rounds tonight. I want you worn out, got it?” You smiled and nodded. “Deal.”

----------------------------------------

Tomoyasu groaned as he leaned his head against the window of the car. The radio played softly, complimenting the gentle atmosphere provided by the steady wind blowing from the AC vents. His head perked up a bit when he noticed the teachers finally emerging from the glass double doors in front of the building. He kept a close eye on the lines coming from the entryway until he locked eyes on his princess. He smiled and got out of the car, waving her over to him. “Daddy!!!” She immediately let go of the rope that the rest of the line was holding onto, running her tiny little feet down the sidewalk until she crashed into his legs. “You’re here to pick me up!?” She spoke loudly and he laughed. “Today I am, yes. I missed you.” He picked her up and spun her around before hugging her tightly. “I love you daddy! I did a lot of stuff in school today! And did you know Penguin starts with the letter P?” She began rambling about her day as he strapped her into her booster seat. “Is that so? You’re getting to be so smart Tomo.” He smiled before pinching her cheek. She giggled and grabbed his finger in her chubby little hand. “Like you daddy?” He nodded before clicking the seat straps in. “Just like me. Now let’s hurry and get home. Dinner should be just about started when we get there.” He snickered at the way his daughter loudly shouted out ‘yaaaaaaaaaaay’ as though she’d never lose her excitement over the simple things. 

The joy of the ride home wouldn’t last too much longer once he made it into the crowd of cars on the freeway. Tomoyasu was doing much better at managing his anger since Tomoko was born/adopted, but even the calmest man had his limits. Road rage was a different kind of demon when it came to him. While you overestimated his ability to handle it, he knew just how much he could and couldn’t take. 

And this?

He could not take...

“Ughhhhh.” He began gritting his teeth. So far he’d been cut off by a few people, stuck behind someone deciding to go 10 under the speed limit, and he’d got caught up at every single red-light on the way home. Now he was dealing with trying to pass someone that refused to use a signal for the past couple of miles. The straw that broke the camel’s back you ask? When he was going to get over and a truck sped up instead of letting him get by. He missed his exit and now would have to spend another 10 minutes taking a different route home. This extended his trip far beyond it’s anticipated time, and made it so he wouldn’t be home when he felt he needed to be. “Grrrrrr...YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE! I’LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH-ooooo!” He quickly covered his mouth with one hand. “Daddy?” 

No...

“What’s a fucking asshole???”

Oh no...

“T-Tomoko listen to me. That is a very bad word. Do not say it because you’ll get in trouble. Especially do not say it in front of mommy/daddy/Y/N, got it? Can you promise me?” He waited nervously for a reply. “But daddy, if it’s a bad word then why come you said it?” Tomoyasu sighed shakily as he finally turned down the street you lived on. “I said it because I was very upset at the car on the road. But I shouldn’t have said that. I’m going to put myself in time out when I get inside.” He pulled into the driveway and got out of the car to help Tomoko out of her seat. Before heading into the house he kneeled to her level and stared at her, sweeping his bangs to the side so she could see his eyes and know he was serious. “Tomoko remember what daddy said okay? Do NOT say those awful, terrible, bad words in front of mommy/daddy/Y/N, okay? You have to promise me okay?” She smiled widely and shook her head. “Okay daddy!!!!” Her promise was null and void because about 20 minutes later at the dinner table she dropped her fork and growled. “My fork fell on the ground and it’s all dirty now. STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE!” Your fork was the next thing to drop (right after your jaw). “Oops! I’m sorry daddy!” Tomoko quickly went to pick up and fork before heading into the kitchen and stepping onto her little stool to try and wash it off in the sink. Your eyes immediately cut to him, glaring fire. He didn’t need any words to know he was in trouble. 

“Tomoyasu...?😠”

[spencers-renaissance]

Shovel Talk

Summary: Hotch and Emily find out about Derek's relationship with Spencer and decide it's time for a chat.

Tags: fluff, humour, est. rel., protective!derek, emily, and hotch, relationship reveal, mentions of past hurt spencer

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1.5k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Inspired by this post by @penemily that I couldn't stop thinking about. Honestly I love this fic so much lol.

Derek isn’t quite sure how he’s found himself in a vacant office after hours, crowded into an office chair with broken wheels as the two most intimidating FBI agents he knows stand over him.

“Either of you want to tell me what the hell’s going on?” Derek asks, bewildered by how quickly his evening had changed. One minute he’s sneaking looks at Spencer over his computer screen, and the next he’s hauled off to a private room like some sort of hostage.

He’s not scared, but he’s definitely a little pissed off. It’s nearing 10pm and all he wants to do is go home with Spencer, curl up on the sofa and eat take-out in front of the TV as they celebrate closing a case in their own way. He used to celebrate by going out for a drink, falling into bed with a stranger if the opportunity arose, but a quiet evening on the sofa with his boy in his arms is surprisingly satisfying these days.

Hotch raises an eyebrow. “We know,” he says simply, something fierce behind his words.

Derek’s heart skips a beat. It’s not hard to figure out what it is he’s talking about. He and Spencer had started dating a couple of months ago but had decided to keep it under wraps for now; something so young and beautiful was too precious to expose to all the inevitable eventual complications just yet. They’re so ridiculously smitten, though, that he’s not exactly surprised two profilers paying close attention had figured it out.

Ignoring the quietly humming nerves starting up in his stomach, he mirrors Hotch’s raised eyebrow, trying not to look as affected as he feels. “So… what? You wait for Spencer to go to the bathroom to lure me to an empty office to beat me up?”

“Maybe,” Emily replies, voice dry.

Behind the nerves and the posturing, Derek can’t feel a small twinge of hurt. “Look, guys, we expected it to be a bit of a shock, but we thought you’d at least be happy for us—”

“It’s not a shock,” Hotch interrupts.

“What?”

“It’s not a shock,” Emily repeats. “Everyone saw this coming a mile off. We’re not surprised.”

Now, he’s even more lost. “Look, can you guys just sit down? You towering over me is creeping me out, man.”

“Good,” Hotch says easily.

Irritation takes over, and he stands up. “You know what, if you’re gonna be funny about it, I don’t actually have to be here.”

Before he can actually make to leave, though, Hotch is shoving him back down into the chair, old metal and plastic creaking under the force of his caught-off-guard body hitting it again. “Stay.”

“What is going on?” Derek explodes. Maybe under different circumstances he’d be able to profile the situation but as it stands, he’s stressed and confused, desperate only to be allowed to leave this dark, cramped room and take Spencer back to his place. It almost surprises him that all he craves in such a weird and unfamiliar situation is cuddles and a nature documentary, but he’s been with Spencer long enough for it to be approaching normal. The younger man’s probably back at his desk by now, wondering where he is, and Derek would hate for him to be worried. He just wants to go home.

“Derek, we are happy for you and Spencer,” Emily finally explains. “But we couldn’t in good conscience let this go on without having a… chat.” Her face twists into the faux charming expression he’s watched her use to disarm unsubs countless times. It stings a little that she’s using it on him.

He splutters a little as a realisation dawns on him, equal parts bemused and offended. “This is… this is a shovel talk!”

“Yes,” Hotch says with a straight face, his expression tight and intimidating as he tilts his head to the side slightly, clearly entirely unaffected by Derek’s emotions. “This is a shovel talk.”

Derek feels himself relax, tension easing slightly. “Guys, I appreciate the sentiment, but Spencer’s my boyfriend; nobody wants to protect him more than I do. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’m pretty sure we could give you a run for your money,” Emily says, her expression quickly transforming into something far more dangerous and challenging than only moments previously. “Spencer has something every single member of this team would die to protect. And if you get in our way, then we’re going to have a problem.”

“Emily, what, we’re friends.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, shrugging easily, “and I love you. But Spencer is my little brother, and I would do anything to stop him from getting hurt. As long as you don’t interfere with my primary mission, we’ll be fine.”

Hotch speaks before Derek can get a word in. “Derek, I knew Spencer long before you did. I remember the first time Gideon brought him to one of our lunches, and I saw something in him that made my heart ache. It didn’t take me long to realise that what I saw were the scars left by incredible deep-seated pain. Spencer has been through hell and back throughout his life, and he’s been hurt repeatedly by people who were supposed to protect him, including Gideon. I would do anything to prevent him from getting hurt by someone like that again, you hear me? Anything.”

As confusing as this all is, Derek can’t help but feel touched by Hotch’s earnest, emotional speech. Most of his nightmares these days revolve around Spencer getting hurt, and it’s kind of reassuring to know that he has so many people in the world who will stop at nothing to prevent those horrible dreams from spiralling into reality.

He can’t help but smile a little. “I’m glad he has you two,” Derek says honestly, looking between them, “but I can assure you that if I ever hurt Spencer for some unfathomable reason, your services wouldn’t be needed. I would hate myself enough for all three of us.” Even just considering the hypothetical possibility of hurting Spencer makes his stomach turn: it’s enough for him to know that he wouldn’t need Hotch and Emily to hold him accountable to that, his own self-loathing would be punishment enough.

It seems to appease Hotch and Emily, who Derek realises look sort of like intimidating twin mafia bosses standing over him like this, and they finally step back a little, posture relaxing.

“Well, what are you waiting for then?” Emily says, smiling for real this time. “Get your boy and get home. It’s getting late, you know.”

He rolls his eyes at her as he makes his way to the door.

“Oh, and Derek,” Hotch says, laying a hand on his shoulder, turning him before he can leave, a genuine smile on his face too, “I am actually happy for you and Spencer.”

Derek grins at that. He really is a lucky, lucky man. “Thanks, Hotch.”

“What was that about?” Spencer asks, his features twisting in curiosity as Derek makes his way across the bullpen to his boyfriend, Hotch and Emily emerging from the same room moments later.

Derek doesn’t answer properly, laughing instead. “You got some good friends, you know that?”

Spencer nods, still looking a little confused, but clearly deciding to let it go as he slings his messenger bag across his body, standing up from his desk. Derek slings an arm around Spencer’s shoulders, leading him towards the exit as his insides twist at the adorable blush that colours Spencer’s cheeks so prettily.

“Derek,” he hisses, “shouldn’t we be leaving separately?”

“I think it’s a little late for that,” he chuckles, looking over his shoulder. Spencer does the same, blushing even fiercer as he spots Hotch and Emily leaning against the railing, overlooking the bullpen with all-knowing looks on their faces.

“Oh my god,” Spencer mumbles, clearly embarrassed, but Derek just laughs again as they leave the bullpen and approach the elevators.

“Come on, pretty boy,” he sighs happily, sliding the arm around his shoulders to rest at his waist, fingertips pressing into the small frame of the boy he’s already falling in love with. “Let’s get you home. That penguin documentary awaits.”

“You’re gonna watch Emperors and Kings with me?” Spencer’s happy exclamation and the delighted expression on his face only warms his heart further, and in that moment he decides that he wants a happy Spencer and another nature documentary within his reach for the rest of his life.

Surprisingly, it’s not as terrifying a thought as it might once have been.

(If Derek thinks the shovel talk from Hotch and Emily is bad, though, it’s nothing compared to the one he gets from Penelope. By the end of the next day, he’s somehow reduced to tears that are both happy and the product of extreme terror, on the receiving end of a ‘baby girl’ ban for keeping it from her for so long. In the end, he decides that it’s probably an alright price to pay for everything beautiful that his life has blossomed into over the last few months.)

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @jellejareau @reidology @i-like-buttons @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @anxious-enby @queerminalminds (taglist form)

[lovemeleo]

Me without You (Part 2)

Alrighty y'all, it's finally here. Time for Part 2 of Me without You! Though they didn't know it, the discord server helped choose the ending for this one.

Nuny and the SW world belong to the lovely @lumosinlove.

If you haven't read it yet, here's Part 1 and you can read my entire Nuny series here on ao3.

***

It’s been three days since Zhenya left, and Jackson had never felt so lost. Normally at the end of a season, they’d take a breather for a couple days, just chill around the house. Sometimes they’d even go on a road trip. Jackson tended to get inside his head a bit so it was better to be out of the house.

He hadn’t gotten much sleep after his conversation with Zhenya the night before. There was around a 7 hour time difference so they tried to keep the conversations to decent times to not mess up sleep patterns too much, but Zhenya had plans with family the entire day, planning to slowly begin the process of coming out. Instead of his normal afternoon call time, Zhenya called him as soon as he got up which meant Jackson didn’t get to sleep until around 1am.

Waking up the following morning was a bit rough, his warm bed still calling his name as he dragged himself to the kitchen for coffee. Jackson didn’t want to stay in bed though. Zhenya wasn’t there, so what was the point?

He wasn’t the only one who was not taking Zhenya’s absence well. The cats were confused about their missing dad as well. Loki had climbed up on top of the fridge, waiting for Zhenya to take him down but he never came. Jackson had to get a chair so he could reach the giant cat and help him down. Pumpkin had taken to sleeping on the Russian man’s pillow, and Milo tended to look for him in the shower. Milo and Pumpkin were still sprawled on Zhenya’s side of the bed when he left but Loki trailed after him.

Jackson went to pull down his coffee mug, reaching for Zhenya’s as well before he realized it wasn’t needed. Damn.. maybe this was going to be harder than expected. Setting the Stormtrooper mug back in the cabinet, he filled the cats’ bowls as the coffee brewed. He was even more off-kilter than usual today, anxious for Zhenya who would be going through the difficult steps of coming out to his parents. Jackson remembers how nervous he was when he told his parents, but he was lucky. He had Zhenya next to him.

Maybe he should just fly to Russia.. Just to be safe. What if he needed him? No.. Zhenya said he had to do this by himself. This had been a frequent argument he had with himself since the moment he left the airport.

Today, he was getting out of the house. Smitty had called, asking him if he wanted to come out with him and his kids. He was taking the three to the zoo so Allison could get some rest, and asked if Jackson minded being an extra pair of hands. Eager to get out of the house and see the little munchkins he had very quickly come to love, Jackson said yes.

To be honest, he was pretty sure Zhenya had told Smitty to keep an eye on him.

After a quick shower, Jackson pulled on Zhenya’s hoodie from when he played for the Flames over one of his t-shirts. It was one of Zhenya’s favorite hoodies, worn and soft in all the right places. It was also Jackson’s favorite to steal. He loved that it was big on him and just felt like Zhenya was wrapped all around him.

As he pulled his shoes on, the doorbell went off. His eyebrows furrowed as he glanced up at the door. He wasn’t expecting anyone. When he opened the door, Brady was standing there.

“Hey, man. Thought I’d just pick you up since you’re on the way.” He said with a smile, pulling Jackson in for a hug.

Jackson couldn’t help but lean into the hug, the lack of human interaction obviously getting to him. “Sounds like a plan to me. Thanks.” He grabbed his wallet and keys after pulling away, making sure his phone was tucked into his pockets.

Brady led the way to his car, climbing in the driver's seat, “I appreciate you coming with me. Don’t know that I'd be able to handle all three of these hooligans by myself at the zoo.” He said, glancing back at his kids with a grin.

A chorus of “Uncle Nado!!” came from the backseat, Brady’s youngest cheering from her carseat in the middle. Olivia was born not long after the 2020 season, and was coming up on two years.

“Hello, tiny gremlins!” Jackson said with a laugh, pulling on his seatbelt as Brady started towards the Gryffindor Zoo.

The kids were already bouncing in their seats, rambling over each other as they talked about all the animals they were going to see. Max was excited for the aquarium while Noah just wanted to see the Lions, of course. Olivia’s favorites were the penguins.

“Allison told me they’re allowed one plushy per kid this time.” Brady said with a huff. Jackson couldn’t help but laugh at his friend. Last time they had gone to the zoo, their entire van was filled with plushies. Brady had tried to blame Jackson, and while he had bought them all one or two, Brady was the main culprit.

Getting everyone out of the car was an adventure all its own. They had to bring the double stroller because Olivia spent most of the time in there, as she still got tired easily and while Noah said he was going to walk the whole time like his big brother Max, he usually ended up climbing in the stroller once or twice. Little legs could only carry you so far.

The lions were right in the front when they got in, Noah running as fast as he could to the railing of the exhibit, “Dad, Uncle Nado, Look! They’re just like you!” He said, his face lighting up as he watched the lions prowling.

“Yeah, bud. That one even has long hair like Uncle Nado.” Brady said with a grin, pointing out the male lion with the full mane.

Jackson laughed, leaning on the railing next to them as he held Olivia’s hand, “You’re just mad ‘cause Allison won’t let you grow your hair out.” Brady shoved him, laughing as they carried on throughout the zoo.

They made their way into the aquarium, the kids running ahead a bit to see all the different fish with Jackson and Brady following at a more leisurely pace.

“So…” Brady said, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye.

Jackson let out a huff, “Here it comes…”

Letting out a chuckle, Brady elbowed him in the ribs, “Hey, don’t be a shit. I just wanted to ask how you were doing. It’s been a long couple months for you with your leg, and then with Zhenya being gone.. Just wanted to check.”

“I’m alright.. Leg doesn’t really bother me, been keeping up with my exercises from PT. And Zhenya.. I miss him. It’s only been three days but fuck I miss him.” Jackson replied, tugging on the sleeves of his hoodie as he watched the kids.

Brady squeezed his shoulder, his eyes flickering between his kids and Nado, “That’s normal, Jax. I’d say it would be abnormal if you didn’t miss him.”

A shriek from Olivia had both their heads whipping in her direction, but it seemed to be one of delight. Her face lit up as a turtle swam past the window again. Both men let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“I know it’s normal. I just- I just wish I could be there for him, y’know? It was hard enough for me to come out to my folks, and I knew they would be supportive. He doesn’t have that luxury, that knowing.” Jackson said with a sigh, his hand absentmindedly checking that his phone was in his pocket.

Brady let out a soft sigh as he nodded, “It sucks, it really does but no matter what happens, he knows he has you. He’s got the team. We’re all here for him.”

Jackson could only nod, a shaky breath falling from his lips as they reached the end of the aquarium. Olivia ran back to him as quickly as her little legs would take her, automatically reaching up to him. “Up? Up please?” She said, puppy dog eyes in full effect.

As if he could say no to that face. Jackson quickly swooped her up, setting her on his hip as they carried on. After a couple hours of walking around, they stopped at one of the restaurants to grab something to eat.

“We still have to see Liv’s penguins, Dad.” Noah pointed out as he ate a couple of his french fries, a map of the zoo in between himself and Max.

Brady was already nodding as he wiped up Olivia’s face, sauce from her pizza smeared across her chubby cheeks, “We’re not gonna miss the penguins.” Jackson couldn’t help the fond smile as he watched his friend with his kids. He always enjoyed watching their family dynamic, and just being with them. Normally Zhenya would be there too, throwing the boys over his shoulders and running around with them or letting Olivia play with his hair.

Damn, Jackson missed him.

And then, as if he knew Jackson’s phone went off with Zhenya’s ringtone. It was the Imperial March from Star Wars, and it had been his ringtone for as long as Jackson could remember. Brady shooed him off as soon as he heard the ringtone, reassuring Jackson that he could handle his own kids for a little bit.

Stepping out of the restaurant, Jackson quickly answered the phone, a smile spreading on his face, “Hey baby, I was just thinkin-”

His smile dropped as he was cut off by a sob from the other end of the line.

“Zhenya? Babe? What’s wrong? You gotta talk to me, baby, you’re scaring me.” Jackson pleaded, his heart feeling as though it was shattering at the sound of his boyfriend falling apart.

His breathing was ragged as Zhenya let out another sob before he finally was able to get it out: “T-They kick me out. M-My Mama and Papa, they kick me out.”

continue reading

[crow-in-a-teapot]

tower of nero spoilers

i have just finished the tower of nero. and before i go searching for other people’s thoughts and art and more of the characters i love so much, i want to write down some of my own thoughts because i know as soon as i delve into that ‘ton spoilers’ hashtag there are going to be complaints and criticisms and so much that i don’t want to hear, or essays that’ll make me upset, or things that’ll change my perception on the book (because on this website people really love to hate the trials of apollo).

i want to start with: i loved it. it didn’t feel earth-shattering or huge and momentous like some of my favourite riordanverse books (house of hades, the blood of olympus, the last olympian and maybe some of the magnus chase books take those pedestals for me) but it was satisfying. and i think it was satisfying because it in no way felt like an ending. whether because eventually rick will write that will-and-nico-go-through-tartarus-and-save-bob novella, or because we (or at least i) will continue writing and imagining and creating for this world i don’t know. he didn’t wrap up the story in a perfect little bow like ‘nineteen years later’, he simply put it on pause. gave us a glimpse of where every character was at at the end.

the only thing that makes me so angry and upset is that i did manage to get some spoilers for moments that i know would have been so good to experience for the first time if i hadn’t been spoiled for them. the moment where rachel mentions penguins in a mansion near her house, nico getting mental health advice from mr d, the fact that will and nico were going to be in the book for so much of the story, but the big thing was literally spoiled for me two days ago, it was the reason i sat down to read it as fast as possible because i was terrified of getting more spoiled and not being able to experience the moments for myself, was that piper had a girlfriend. i know that reading that for the first time would have been so cool and surprising, and the fact that when it came up for a moment in the last couple pages all i felt was disappointment because it was spoiled for me and because it was now tinged with whatever that person was saying about her having a girlfriend.

but i still had some warm fuzzy moments, the two parts where apollo thinks he’s going to die but nico comes up behind him - so good. impeccable. 

Leader Guy spat. ‘Now, I kill you.’

He raised his sword... and froze. His face turned pale. His skin began to shrivel. His beard fell out whisker by whisker like dead pine needles. Finally, his skin crumbled away, along with his clothes and flesh, until Leader Guy was nothing but a bleached-white skeleton, holding a sword in his bony hands. 

Standing behind him, his hand on the skeleton’s shoulder, was Nico di Angelo.

and

Nero raised his hand, ready to give the kill command, when behind me a mighty BOOM! shook the chamber. Half our enemies were thrown off their feet. Cracks sprouted in the windowsand the marble columns. Ceiling tiles broke, raining dust like split bags of flour. 

I turned to see the impenetrable blast doors lying twisted and broken, a strangely emaciated red bull standing in the breach. Behind it stood Nico di Angelo.

gods. poetic brilliance. i can’t believe i’m still a nico di angelo stannie in the year 2021. in five years i have not changed (ever since the tv show announcement last summer i have managed to morph into myself from 2017)

from here i’m not sure where to go next i kind of want to go through everything, except it’ll be more difficult than my tyrant’s tomb reaction because i wasn’t reading on a kindle and thus can’t just do funny little reactions to screenshots of quotes, so i’ll just skim through the book page by page and see what i can comment on (i’m not planning on doing analysis today, no thank you, just enjoying the end of my childhood and trying to squeeze as much out of it as possible)

i have an emotional attachment to mr. snake from the very first chapter, and am very upset that he’ll never get off on his baltimore stop and get to see his wife, lu had no reason to shoot and kill him like that.

that brings me to lu, i liked her, it was interesting to see how rick kind of brought in not only the overarching theme of abuse, but also people who let the abuse happen, i have more i could say on this i’m too lazy to right now, and i promised no analysis - or the fact that Lu had conspired to make the show non-lethal to spare Meg’s feelings rather than - oh, I don’t know - refusing to do Nero’s dirty work in the first place and getting Meg out of that house of horrors. 

And are you any better? taunted a small voice in my brain. How many times have you stood up to Zeus?

Okay, small voice. Fair point. Tyrants are not easy to opppose or walk away from, especially when you depend on them for everything.

the parallels to meg and lester heading to percy’s apartment, and then to camp half blood to the hidden oracle was so cool to read, every callback to the hidden oracle just there to remind us readers exactly how far apollo has come and how he’s changed; the entire chapter with sally, paul and estelle just felt sickly sweet, it just didn’t seem real how wholesome and good that family is, like i get why apollo broke down and just sobbed in that shower.

also rick really saying acab again in toa, i thought he was done after that elf cop chapter in magnus chase (the magnus chase series is a masterpiece) but apparently not, with A ‘good cop’ is still a cop... still a part of the mind game.

the grey sisters, i forgot about them completely but this threw me back into was it the sea of monsters when annabeth summoned them? i’m not sure, it could have been the lightning thief either, they really remind me of the disney hercules movie. the whole ganymede paragraph was gold, i love gods being canonically confirmed lgbt in the riordanverse. i also love the whole eye-tossing part - 

‘He will crush our eye,’ Anger cried, ‘if we don’t recite our verses!’

‘I will not!’

‘We will all die!’ Wasp said. ‘He is crazy!’

‘I AM NOT!’

‘Fine, you win!’ Tempest howled.

also, the explanation for why dionysus chooses to look the way he does was perfect, because it was something i often wondered about and wasn’t expecting to get an explanation for, and i imagine the whole mythological dionysus to look like.. well like a more feminine apollo i guess, beautiful in a gender non-comforming way.

Other Olympians could never comprehend why Dionysus chose this form when he could look like anything he wanted. In ancient times, he’d been famous for his youthful beauty that defied gender.

... 

In retaliation, Dionysus had decided to look and act as ungodly as possible. He was like a child refusing to tuck in his shirt, comb his hair or brush his teeth, just to show his parents how little he cared.

every scene with nico at camp just BREAKS ME, i would throw in screenshots of every damn quote but unfortunately, as said above, cannot and would rather not type every one; we’ll start with, obviously apollo confirming to him that jason is dead. 

He didn’t look angry exactly. He looked as if he’d been hit in the gut not just once but so many times over the course of so many years that he was beginning to lose perspective on what it meant to be in pain. He swayed on his feet. He blinked. Then he flinched, jerking his hands away from Meg’s as if he’d just remembered his own touch was poison.

ugh then will talking about how nico’s doing, confirming that he’s suffering with ptsd, mr d giving him advice, helping him sort though what voices in his head are real and which ones aren’t, then the paragraph that just recounts every horrific thing poor nico has been through, how will has to reassure him that he’s okay and ‘with friends’ when he wakes up after shadow travel

will’s kindness to apollo, buying him clothes, and apollo finding seymour the leopard’s head in his bed, put there by mr d aaaa AAAA A A A A A THE ORDINARY, EVERYDAY CAMP HALF BLOOD THINGS..

i could go on for years and years about how much i appreciate rachel having a big role in this book, and the visit to her apartment, everything, her art, the fact that she got what she wanted, she’s going to PARIS to study ART, she isn’t forced to be someone she’s not by her dad, and gets to be a big part of a demigod mission and not stand on the sidelines for once.

i love that her landscapes are still visions, that she still paints the quests demigods go on - the burning maze, jason’s funeral pyre, caligula’s ships; and how nico ~appreciates art~

‘And, hey, di Angelo -’ she pushed him playfully away from the canvas he’d been ogling - ‘don’t brush against the art! I don’t care about the paintings, but if you get any colour on you, you’ll ruin that whole black-and-white aesthetic you’ve got going.’

i. love. rachel.

WILL GLOWS!! THE HEADCANONS FROM LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO THAT YOU’D SEE FLOATING AROUND ABOUT HIM MANIPULATING LIGHT!! CONFIRMED!! CANON!! AMAZING

I AM  OBSESSED WITH THE TROGS, I LOVE THEM, THEY ARE GREAT, not gonna lie, i was expecting something more dramatic and spooky with how worried will was and how dionysus was going.. visiting the cavern-runners isn’t ♫ good for your mental health  ♫ but the little hat frog gremlins were a good addition. i like them very much and their funky little soup shenanigans. quoting the ghost king himself: trogs good. nice hats. (IM SORRY I KEEP MENTIONING HIM BUT I JUST) also how apollo starts wishing for breadsticks a s ajoke and theY STRAIGHT UP HAVE BREADSTICKS? HUH? WHERE DID THEY GET THE BREADSTICKS FROM??

yeah, i’m also still very much upset by every mention of jason grace, it’s funny how ever since his death in the burning maze i have grown to love him more and more and that’s not fun for me, for that boy to become one of my main comfort character’s and have his death and sacrifice and nobility mentioned every few chapters. i’m pretty sure i cried when he appeared to talk in apollo’s dreams, and this time the tears weren’t from the effort of keeping my eyes open and working for hours straight reading this book (i remember staying up until 2am to finish the sequel to beautiful, broken things, it was very much worth it)

‘All right, Jason. We miss you, though.’

ALSO. THE FACT THAT THIS KID. THIS CHILD. HAD TO THINK ‘BUT IF A HERO ISN’T READY TO LOSE EVERYTHING FOR A GREATER CAUSE, IS THAT PERSON REALLY A HERO?’ A KID ISN’T SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT THAT AND BE READY TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR THE GREATER GOOD,, i,, ugh,, he’s supposed to be finishing school and designing temples not being the perfect hero and soldier,, spain without the s,,

as @couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name said: ‘thinking about how ghost! Jason didn’t seem to understand why Apollo was so upset about his death because he’s been raised to believe a hero’s sacrifice is noble and his life doesn’t matter in the grand scheme and also if he doesn’t understand why the person who watched him get horrifically killed is so torn up over his death he probably doesn’t even realize his other friends are grieving him..’

IM SO UPSET THE ARROW OF DODONA IS DEAD D: IT WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS ALL THE FUNNIEST MOMENTS WERE BECAUSE OF THAT ARROW AND IT'S DEATH WAS SO SAD WTH LIKE WE FIND OUT HOW USELESS THE ARROW FELT AND HOW THE GROVE OF DODONA ALL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CRAP AND WOULD FAIL APOLLO AND THEN ONCE WE FEEL BAD FOR IT, IT DIES??

the entire python battle was pretty grim, there is a part of me that's like because this is the last book series i would have loved say the magnus chase and kane chronicles gang in a giant battle with everyone like the battle of manhattan but even more dramatic, but even so, i did appreciate that python battle and the whole almost-falling-into-the-depths-of-tartarus thing.

him talking to artemis was cool, but JESUS: 'I turned and strode out of my room, trying to recall how the god Apollo walked.' like that HURTS. it was such a huge culture shock for apollo to go throught this huge character arc and be so human and understand the pain of others, to be around gods again who are so.. apathetic. also, zeus. 'Interesting how he put that: I had done him proud. I had been useful in making him look good. My heart did not melt. I did not feel that this was a warm-and-fuzzy reconciliation with my father. Let's be honest: some fathers don't deserve that. Some aren't capable of it.'

OKAY OKAY SO THE END?? CHIRON TALKING TO A CAT (BAST) AND A SEVERED HEAD (MIMIR) ABOUT SHARED PROBLEMS WITHIN THE PANTHEONS!! WILL AND NICO RECEIVING A PROPHECY FROM RACHEL TO GO TO TARTARUS AND SAVE BOB!! THE HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS, INCLUDING THALIA AND REYNA BEING BEST FRIENDS (qpr.. qpr..) HUNTING THE TEUMESSIAN FOX!! PERCY, ANNABETH AND GROVER, THE ORIGINAL TRIO, GOING ON A CHAOTIC ROAD TRIP TOGETHER!! - SO MANY STAND-ALONE SET -UPS PFSJSJSJ

okay quick word on the reunions at the end: funny little elephant visitation program with livia and hannibal. love that for them. calypso and leo's relationship seems rocky and complicated, but that's to be expected, i think even if they do get properly back together again it might not last long, because it does pretty much feel like a teenage relationship where the two aren't very compatible, but we'll see. hazel and frank are so funny with their gold plated necklaces. lavinia - tap-dance icon. almost cried at the mention of jason's temple-extension plan again. percy not being sure about what he wants to do in college is accurate and i like that that's left to be up-for-interpretation (rick does THE MOST for the fanfic writers pfsjsj). i am OBSESSED with aeithales, like i hate deserts so the burning maze setting is not my favourite but GOD that HOUSE, the vibes are off-the-charts. i'd love a house made of living trees that's also a greenhouse filled with dryads. meg gets a unicorn. that is so great.

i kind of wish the book hadn't ended with 'Call on me. I will be there for you.' because every time I imagine the friends theme song and i don't think that's the vibe he was going for, BUT i do love him talking to meg, that was genuinely emotional - 'You'll come back?' she asked. 'Always,' I promised. 'The sun always comes back.' ; i really wish it had ended with that, but i guess apollo does tend to break fourth walls and talk to the readers, like a lot of the protagonists of riordanverse books.

[husbandograveyard]

Carnival Adventures - Law x Reader

One Piece of summer challenge - week 6

part of the challenge hosted by @doctorgerth​ & @laws-yellow-submarine​ I’m attempting all 11 weeks, 11 different prompts and 11 different characters! Enjoy! Some more pure fluff because this gremlin has been suffering too much already! 

Prompt: Carnival - Character: Law - Word count: 1.3k 

Law was always busy. Working on plans, training, gaining medical knowledge. Testing the limits of his devil fruit abilities. Reading newspapers. Keeping up with the state of the world and the politics. Rarely ever spending time on himself, hell, the man rarely ever even slept. 

It had gotten better after the two of you became a couple, but still, actual dates were nearly nonexistent and while he regularly made sure that you could spend time together, cuddle and even went to bed more often, even if he couldn’t sleep just to be in your presence, it was still not really dating. You were grateful for whatever moment you could spend with your boyfriend though, and enjoyed every second spent in his presence. 

The crew also wanted to spend some more time with their captain. Eating together was nice whenever it happened, and just hanging out on deck whenever the Polar Tang made its way to the surface. Parties were an excellent opportunity to have fun and mingle too, but not a very frequent occurrence, most of the things done together were very mundane, like a little uniform-wearing family.

So when you all docked on an island in order to stock up on food, herbs, and other supplies, and Bepo noticed a Ferris wheel in the distance, plans to stay on the island just a little longer than planned so you could go to the carnival were made really fast. Law was reluctant but figured that the crew could use a moment of fun and fewer worries to let off some steam. You had been in dangerous waters most of the time lately after all, and a group activity could be nice for the morale on board.

“Okay, okay, I guess you can go to the carnival for one night.” 

Cheers ensued from the crew. 

“Oi, Captain grumpy pants”,  you playfully elbowed your boyfriend, “you are coming along too. You could use some distracting from all the gears turning in that beautiful head of yours”.  Law rolled his eyes at you.  “I wasn’t planning on-”  You interrupted him before he could even finish his sentence.  “We don’t even have to stick close to the crew the entire evening. A date. You and me.” You put on your sweetest puppy-eyes. “Pleeeeeeeeeassseeee? Pretty pretty please? with no bread on top”. 

Law couldn’t help but smile a little at your ridiculous antics. “Fine. An actual date.” You knew his sarcastic tone was just playful, he was secretly just as happy as you were to get some time off and actually have a proper date. It wasn’t exactly the most romantic setting, but honestly, It could definitely be worse. 

The crew finished up all the chores for the day at an exceptional speed, working together even better to get all the supplies necessary and carry them back to the Polar Tang, before storing them away in their respective places. Turns out that a carnival was an excellent motivation and you were sure to tease Law later on with the tiniest smile he had on his face while overlooking his crew. So proud of this dumb little family of his. 

The moment everything was in order, the crew got the okay from Law and made their way to the carnival. You grabbed Law’s hand, intertwining your fingers with his, and started walking after them, leaning on your boyfriend as you walked around the fair, taking in the sights and smells of the various food stands, attractions and other things to do. 

Law seemed visibly more relaxed than he had been in days, and you decided to make good use of that, the atmosphere, and the rest of the crew to drag him into some of the attractions, if only for you to just have an excuse to hold him close. 

The madhouse was your first stop, loads of tumbling and nearly tripping and falling, usually prevented by you clinging onto Law for dear life. “y/n, are you doing this on purpose or have you gotten two left feet lately?”  “Shut up Law I like holding you okay?” Getting out of the attraction was a little harder, Bepo wanted to come along and got stuck somewhere near the end. Turns out, these things were not made polar bear sized. 

The actual haunted house was hilarious, mostly because Law deadpan kept giving remarks on how not-scary everything was, and more importantly, how anatomically incorrect all the intestine decorations were. You left the attraction in tears, not from fear as the person at the ticket boot teased you with, but from sheer laughter. 

You sampled some of the snacks, you and Law helping Bepo unstick cotton candy from his fur after he had bitten in an extremely big piece rather roughly, while Penguin, Sachi, and Ikkaku got even more snacks for you and the rest of the crew to sample. 

With full stomachs, you decided that the rougher rides may not be the best thing to go on now -although a part of the crew ensured you that they could take it, after all, what could be worse than the sea?- So you split up for a bit. Most stayed behind to go on the ride anyway, some wanted to go for a Bepo-less round in the madhouse again, and you were currently leading Law towards the Ferris Wheel. 

“Seriously y/n?”  “Awe come on, a little romance never hurt anyone. Besides,” you looked over your shoulder, “it’s not like we can do much with the possibility of them staring at us the whole ride” you giggled at the small tag team of Bepo, Sachi and Penguin that had decided to follow you two, to see where you were going. So now all of you were standing in line for the Ferris wheel, you made them promise to at least leave you and Law to your own cabin. 

There were some teasing words, but with a quick glare from Law, all in good humor, they did agree to just leave you two to the actual date part of this date. You knew not to expect too much of it, Law is not the most romantic person after all and there is only so much of a kiss one can share while feeling eyes looking in your direction most of the time, but you are more than happy to just lean on him, still holding hands, stealing pecks and nuzzling his neck as the cabin slowly gains height. 

At the very top, you create just the smallest bit of distance between the two of you, just so you can observe the beautiful sights underneath you. You even spot the polar tang in the distance, giggling as you point it out to Law, who nods but barely even looks, too preoccupied with keeping his eyes on you, how happy you look, and how happy that makes him. He even glances over at the three in the next cabin over, and can’t help but realize just how lucky he is to have found this little family, and it takes him some effort to not stop and wonder if Cora-san can see, and if he’d be proud of him. 

His thoughts are interrupted by a light shock going through the machine, as you start your descend, you sitting down again with him. “Did you at least enjoy yourself a little bit Captain grumpy?” you ask with a smile before pressing your lips to his cheek. “What do you even mean y/n? I always enjoy myself whenever I’m with you.”  Before you can even retort with something smart as a reply, he pulls you in for a proper kiss, effectively shutting you up, and you eagerly respond, neither of you noticing that the cabin has stopped moving again for a while. 

“ehm. Ma’am, Sir, if you’d... step out, please? There are other people waiting” 

[andawaywego]

A fic where Damie say their first “I love you’s”?

hey! yes! this! i’ve had a few requests for this and i hope you don’t mind, but i set it in a No-Ghosts, Modern AU bc why not? we see what i assume is Jamie’s first “i love you” in the show, which i may touch on later, but i wanted this quiet scene surrounded by the people they love first.

i hope you like it!

..

In the early hours of the day, the kitchen is chilly and mute, blue-gray sunlight drifting in through the windows to cast empty shadows across the counters and floors. The wind rattles through the house, sliding in through any gap it can find, and Jamie thinks that, if she tilts her head just so, she can hear the way the boards beneath her feet, the wood and stone surrounding her, bend and bulge to make room for it.

She tucks herself a little tighter into her sweater and looks across the table at Flora and Miles as they happily eat their cereal, talking to one another and Hannah. Owen is leaned back in his chair at the head of the table, his cup of tea cradled in his hands and steaming a little, still. Providing warmth, perhaps, where the house tries to leech it. Beside her, Dani shifts and their shoulders brush together and, as much of a jolt passes through her at the slight touch, the real magic is this:

That secret, little smile Dani sends her way after. 

Like they are each from a hidden world that belongs to only them—where they exist and twine together in one existence, away from the prying eyes of everyone else—and are only visiting this realm for breakfast, of all things. It says a hundred secrets they’ve whispered in the dark to one another, limbs laced together warmly beneath the sheets as they caught their breath, as they kissed slowly and loose-lipped. Learning and familiar.

It’s been six months of nights spent tangled together in Dani’s bed. Six months of dinner dates in the empty kitchen late at night; of drinks at the only pub in Bly and phone calls before bed. Six months of Dani slowly figuring out sexting and Jamie nearly regretting teaching her about it when she’s interrupted in the middle of the work day with a less-than-appropriate message or worse: photograph.

Six months after that first kiss in June when they’d been walking the grounds one evening. Jamie saying something about her lost family, her shadowed childhood, and Dani turning right then and there and just kissing her. Beneath the sunset-pinked trees at the edge of the property, the heat of the summer pressing down against her skin, sticking her tight to her clothes, as Jamie presses forward into it. 

Dani.

Jamie loves Dani. 

It’s been right there on the tip of her tongue for three full months. She’s come so close to blurting it out on more than one occasion that she’s talked to Owen about it. Hannah. She’s called Rebecca in London and asked for advice on when she’s allowed to just say it. More than once for each of them.

So often, in fact, that Dani might be the only person sitting at the table that doesn’t actually know.

It aches in her chest, rattling around and begging to be set free, but Jamie hasn’t yet. Is too frightened, perhaps. Or maybe there just hasn’t been a good enough time.

Whatever it is, Jamie can see her own pinching emotion reflected back at her from Dani’s smile that morning so clearly that it’s nearly blinding. She’s waxing poetic about wanting to spend a fevered hour beneath the heat of Dani’s mouth in her own mind when Miles’s voice catches her off guard.

“—this afternoon, Miss Clayton?” he is saying.

Dani tears her eyes from Jamie’s and blinks, dazed, then seems to catch up. 

“What’s that?” she asks. Then, “Sorry.”

But Miles doesn’t mind. Doesn’t even register her apology. Just repeats his, “I was asking if we’ll still be painting the school room today,” with little fanfare.

Understanding blesses the soft lines of Dani’s expression. “Yeah, of course,” she says. “You and Flora are going to have to put on clothes that can get paint on them, though, okay?”

Miles nods and Flora lights up the room with a smile of her own. “Oh, splendid,” she says. “I had a dream last night that we all painted a family of bears on the wall! One for each of us. Owen, yours had a mustache.”

“Did it?” Owen asks. “Sounds like a handsome bear.”

“Oh, he was.”

The conversation falls apart then, the children too excited about how they’ll be spending their day to settle down. That’s one of the funny things about Dani: before she showed up, it was like pulling teeth trying to get Miles or Flora to participate in anything resembling a chore. The school room is one that’s needed repainting for a long time—given the humidity of the rainier seasons and its position in the house, the paint has been chipping for years. Jamie always figured that, at some point, she was going to have to just give in and do it on her own, but, now that Dani is here, it seems she’s acquired three new sets of helping hands. Maybe it’s the years of teaching two dozen students in America, or maybe it’s just a special talent, but Dani has managed to turn the mundane into the extraordinary so many times that Jamie wonders sometimes if she might actually be Mary Poppins.

Wonders if that makes her Bert.

Briefly imagines dancing with a cartoon penguin and almost jumps out of her chair when a hand touches her arm.

But it’s just Dani, giving her a look that’s half-amused, half-concerned. “Sorry,” she says, but Jamie shakes her head.

“Don’t hafta apologize for touching me, Poppins,” she says, giving a little wink, and Dani’s cheeks blush pink. “Just caught me off guard.”

Beneath the table, Dani’s hand is still on Jamie’s arm, her grip loose and lovely, sparking like wires up and down the length of Jamie’s skin. She remembers that morning—Dani pressed into her back beneath the covers, one of her arms wrapped around Jamie’s stomach, her fingers moving fluidly and madly between Jamie’s legs. She clenches her thighs together and tries to calm down. 

It doesn’t work.

That’s the thing she’s learned the most often since that first kiss in the gardens: being with Dani is almost like being on fire all the time. Jamie can’t seem to catch a break, and she really believes now that she wouldn’t even take one if it were offered.

“You’re so pretty,” Dani breathes, but that’s clearly not what she’d meant to say. It just comes out in this drifting voice that Jamie recognizes because she has one just like it. Part of her is constantly reassured when Dani speaks like this that she is not the only one left dazed by their each interaction. 

“So are you,” Jamie says. “Before you ask, I’m going to go pick up the paint after breakfast.”

Dani’s eyebrows lift a little, then settle back down. That’s what she’d meant to discuss, apparently, and, now that Jamie has finished the thought for her, she seems a bit more in control of herself and the situation. 

“You’re a saint,” she says next and Jamie rolls her eyes.

“Hardly.”

Across the table, Hannah is getting to her feet and the children are doing the same, grabbing their used dishes and toddling after the older woman to take them to the sink. Dani and Jamie linger at the table for a beat, neither of them willing to release the other from their hold when faced with a long day spent beneath the watchful, innocent eyes of two children.

Finally, Owen stands up and they have no choice. Their only alternative is to spend the rest of the day sitting right there and Jamie thinks she’d end up getting a little stiff if they decided on that. 

Dani offers to take Jamie’s mug to the sink and Jamie smiles.

Says, “Thanks,” and watches her girlfriend make her way over, setting the dishes she’s carrying on the counter beside where Miles is obediently filling up the sink with warm, soapy water.

“Who’s going to be my dish-dryer?” she asks, her voice enthusiastic despite the content of her question. 

Still—magic as ever—Miles and Flora flood the air with eager I will’s and let me’s. 

Owen gives Dani an impressed look. Hannah just smiles and leans against the island counter. 

“I’m gonna head to the hardware shop,” Jamie says, seemingly to no one in particular, but it has its intended effect. 

Dani turns around from the sink and smiles over at her. “You really are a saint,” she says without a hint of joking.

“Just make sure the little gremlins are dressed and ready when I get back,” Jamie tells her. “Housework waits for no man.”

“Hear, hear!” Owen says and Dani laughs as she steps around the counter to reach Jamie, still standing there.

“If you think of anything else you’ll need, let me know,” Jamie says and Dani nods, reaching out to touch Jamie’s cold hand with her own. 

“I will,” she says. “Thank you. Again.”

Jamie shrugs. “No trouble. Won’t take too long.”

Normally, this would be the part where Dani would give her a quick peck on the cheek or on the lips and say her goodbyes. Just a quick thing because they’re half-a-year into being together and that’s the sort of thing couples do. Or so Jamie has seen on TV and is learning now—she hadn’t much experience before Dani. It’s happened so often in the past that it’s practically routine now, but things are different just then.

Something changes.

Because Dani does lean in and give Jamie a quick kiss on the lips. She does say, “Hurry back,” like she normally might have, but there’s an extra part thrown in at the last second. 

“Love you.”

Dani says it so quickly, so thoughtlessly, that Jamie responds before she even processes the significance of those two words.

She just says, “Love you, too,” and goes to pull away.

But, before she can, everything comes crashing into her like a freight train. Dani seems to be undergoing the same realization Jamie is given the way her eyes are wide and unblinking.

They stare at each other for a moment—seemingly forever. Dani stands in front of Jamie, the light from outside brightening her hair into a halo like an angel’s, and her blood is pumping swift through her heart and veins. It’s strange that all she’s doing is standing in the kitchen—Miles and Flora and Hannah and Owen standing just behind Dani—and yet she feels like she could very suddenly run to the moon and back without needing a break. 

Like she could fly or spread her arms around the world without an ounce of trouble and squeeze it tight. Like she should because Dani just said she loves her and shouldn’t that make her capable of anything?

She thinks so.

“I love you,” she hears herself say, slower this time, making sure that Dani understands.

Dani’s lips part just barely and she nods like she’s agreeing to something, but Jamie isn’t sure what. “I love you, too,” she says. “Hey.” 

“Yeah?” Jamie asks, her eyes tracing the gentle shape of Dani’s face, the dip of her nose and the slender arch of her neck. 

Dani leans forward a little, their foreheads brushing. “I love you,” she repeats.

Their lips brush together, soft and singing reverence in a kiss that can’t be sustained because each of them is smiling too much for that. Cool fingers wrap themselves around Jamie’s hands and it very suddenly doesn’t matter who else is in the room for this. It might as well just be them.

An ordinary morning. Breakfast in the kitchen and work to do later. After a night spent doing normal things; making dinner together and watching TV. Jamie vacuumed her flat and Dani wiped down her counters and then they fell into bed together because that’s what it is to love someone. 

That’s how you do it.

In the little in-between times. Love in offering your jacket when it’s cold; in pressing your chilled toes against the warmth of your other’s skin; in brushing your teeth side-by-side and holding hands when you’re waiting in line with your shopping basket at the market.

What is so frightening about that?

What better time to say it than when you can’t keep it contained any longer?

Nothing.

There isn’t a better time.

Easy does it.

Life ticks on around them—the children laughing and splashing one another with water, Owen making a joke that only Hannah finds funny, and that soft, green paint waiting to be picked up in town—but Jamie takes a moment to breathe. To let the puzzle pieces slide together, colors mixing in and stirring out smooth. Clean.

Leans in and kisses Dani again, longer this time, and says what she’s been wanting to say all along, which is this:

“I love you, Dani. I love you, too.”

..

[laws-yellow-submarine]

Leynaa, i saw the ask game, so could i ask for #3 from general (what was first kiss like?) For both your oc X canons? Skylar/law and hazel/zoro? Than you 🥺💕

Ohohoho yes I am always happy to talk about these couples, I love all of these idiots so goddamn much lmao

Skylar/Law: Their first kiss was around Christmastime, an incredibly cliched mistletoe kiss. Someone else on the crew (probably Penguin and Shachi, tbh) hung some up in the entryway to the kitchen, and wow golly gee guess who happened to pass under it at the same time? Who ever would’ve thought that would happen? So of course the crew ooo’s and awww’s and cackles at their captain’s predicament, and Skylar’s blushing like crazy and telling Law it’s ok, he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, and she’ll just take that down quick, but the crew is giving him the look that says “you better fucking do this”, so to appease everyone Law goes in for a quick kiss on the cheek. 

Which of course turns Skylar redder than a tomato, but the crew is yelling at him that’s not good enough, “come on Captain, you can do better than that!”, and Law grits his teeth, rolls his eyes, and smooches her on the lips. It’s quick, short and sweet, barely 10 seconds have passed when all is said and done, but for all Law’s aware it’s been hours, clearly Skylar possesses some weird ass time magic cause time definitely stopped, right? RIGHT?! And they pull away, the crew cheers and goes back to their business, but Law and Skylar keep standing there a little longer, sizing each other up. Clearly the warmth he’s feeling is embarrassment, and anger at being in this position in the first place; it has nothing to do with the red in her cheeks, or the way her face scrunches up in thought, as she considers that maybe, just maybe, he liked it too?

And then her eyes are too much and he squishes his hat onto her head, over her eyes, and she gives a delicious little squeak and her cheeks puff up and she starts tearing into him about hygiene and “how long ago did you wash this thing?! I’m going to need three showers to get my hair clean, you greasy, filthy, gremlin of a quack doctor!” and if he feels colder when she leaves he can easily blame it on the metal of the submarine hidden deep beneath a snowstorm...

-----

Hazel/Zoro: I’m still hammering out details for these two so this is subject to change, and probably won’t be as detailed as the other two lol but who knows.

This may be a bit surprising, but Zoro initiates the first kiss (though considering both of them are quite dumb, that may not be too surprising lol I feel like Hazel is the more emotionally stunted one of the pair, at least when it comes to herself, and that’s saying something). It’s definitely used as a way to shut Hazel up mid-rant about something (I don’t wanna say exactly what, because spoilers, but it has to do with throwing herself into danger without thinking hehehe), and he does it without even thinking about what he’s doing. Zoro’s pure instinct, and that’s what drives his actions here too.

And then he pulls back and she’s staring at him with big wide eyes and it hits him that he just kissed her, and he turns beet red, panics, and hauls ass back to the ship, muttering something about an “idiot”, but who knows if he means her or himself, and Hazel hasn’t blinked once cause her brain is in overdrive reassessing every interaction they’ve ever had and suddenly realizing that, wait a minute, she likes him, like, like likes him, and she wants that to happen again. Does she want it to happen again? Hm yes, she definitely wants it to happen again, does he want it to happen again?

And basically it’s just both of them realizing their feelings for each other at the same time and freaking out about it, even though everyone knows they’ve basically been dating for months, they just didn’t know it yet. 

[ratchedspeach]

R&R

Prompt written for Falliam Frenzy Week 4 - “Are you flirting with me?” and “…or we could make out.” This isn’t nearly as angsty as my other stuff - thought I would let these two have a little fluffy moment hehe

Femperial was a success — not just profitable, not just breaking even, but a real, bonafide success. By the end of their first year, Fallon had managed to double their profits, bringing in almost fifty new authors to publish and help launch careers for, and she did it mostly single-handed (by and large because she couldn’t loosen her grip on the reigns). It was a somewhat thankless job, not that she minded. Work was the only life Fallon really knew, and the one she felt most comfortable in.

Liam would watch and offer his help when he could, which … wasn’t very often, because he didn’t actually understand the business side of his own industry. It made him feel a little foolish that mostly what he was good for was bringing her too many cups of coffee to count. Fallon never complained, though — never expected him to do anything for her, never mind what he already was. She would just smile, and thank him gently, before turning back to her computer.

There was something almost confounding about watching her focus — eyes squinted, lips parted gently, bent slightly forward towards her computer screen. It wasn’t necessarily when she was her most flattering (at least that’s what she would tell him), but it was certainly when she was least worried about what others thought of her. It was intrinsic, and personal, and passionate.

Today is different.

Usually when Liam came, she would tell him that she was too busy for visitors, not that he would listen. Today, though, she had simply smiled as she accepted the coffee and kiss on the cheek, because she actually was too busy for visitors, let alone the three minutes that their usual useless banter. He noted the change in their routine, as well as the way her jaw clenched as she continued typing away at what he assumed was an email, but he hadn’t looked at long enough to be sure.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you its not nice to stare?” Fallon teased, eyes maintained on the screen.

He was seated on the couch, legs crossed with a book abandoned against his chest, and his hands placating a now cold and mostly untouched latte. Liam smirked, making the dimple in his left cheek protrude. 

“Actually my mother was always upset when I didn’t stare.” He mused. 

She rolled her eyes, heaving a sigh, because of course that would be Laura Van Kirk’s prerogative. There was a ping from her computer before she could respond. Fallon tensed, biting the inside of her cheeks and clicking the email open. The further she got into it, the further her face fell, and the more Liam’s concern subsequently rose.

“Fallon?” He murmured, standing from his perch and coming to lean next to her.

She closed the email before he could read beyond Dear Ms. Carrington, tensing as she starts searching through her files for only god knows what. Liam backed off the desk pressing his hands out as if to signal his white flag. She relinquished almost immediately, exhaling heavily and pressing the palms of her hands to her eyes, and for the first time Liam saw her for what she was: exhausted. A pang of guilt settled in his stomach for not having seen it sooner — for not even considering the fact that after launching her own company with all bets against her, she must be …

“You need a break.” Liam murmured, placing a hand on her shoulder and kneading into the spot behind her shoulder blade.

Fallon groaned in protest, but did nothing to stop the contact. “I don’t have time.” She mumbled, and he could feel her back tense again at the omission. “If I don’t secure the Griffin option before one of those little Penguin gremlins gets to her, that’s it for Femperial.”

“It’s one option, Fal.” Liam looked at her like she was speaking another language. “I don’t think it will make or break you.”

It’s the first time all day that she looks at him, and he almost wishes she hadn’t. Fallon’s blue eyes are bloodshot, and unfocused, and maybe a little panicked, and her lips are pursed into a decidedly uneasy grimace. She’d been pulling late nights, Liam knew that, but he’s beginning to think he doesn’t know the full extent. He’s always asleep by the time she gets home, and she refuses to wake him. Liam’s grown used to taking her word for it when she promises that she’s home no later than midnight.

“Jesus, when’s the last time you slept?” Liam breathes, his brow furrowing.

“I’m fine.” She huffs, rolling her shoulder away from his grasp. “At least I will be once Griffin responds to my email instead of getting one of her assistants to do it for her.”

“Well have you called her?”

Fallon quirks an eyebrow. “She hates phone calls ... she’s an author, Liam. I swear you and your kind are going to be the death of me … what ever happened to face-to-face communication?”

He smiles at the hyperbole, but he thinks she might be right judging on how close to the bone she’s working herself. She’s mentioned the Griffin option once or twice — Leila Griffin, a prodigal eighteen year old fiction writer who had just finished her first full-length novel. Liam had pushed her to fight for it because it was, admittedly, an impressive opportunity. He doesn’t realize what pushing for something means in her mind, though, but now here she is - running almost purely on coffee (and some Adderall she stole from her father’s medicine cabinet, not that either Liam or Blake know about that), and going out of her mind over one book option.

“You need a break, Fallon.” Liam repeated, cupping her face softly in the palm of his hand and reveling in the way it made her eyelids flutter. “You know, rest? Respite? Relaxation? Any of these words ringing a bell?”

She rolled her eyes at his alliteration, swallowing down a giggle, and fixing him with the closest thing to annoyance that she could muster. He had grown impressively adept at making her pause, and it was equally comforting and aggravating. Fallon loved her work — more specifically she loved doing her work — because it was only her’s.

She had grown up with the expectation of her future holding marriage — more specifically, marriage as a means of some business merger for Carrington Atlantic, she would come to realize. The first Christmas she can remember is when she was six and her brother as ten. Steven had received a chemistry set, and his first briefcase (amongst other things … they are the Carringtons, after all). Fallon, on the other hand, got clothing, and her first eyeshadow pallet. She would smile, and thank her parents gently, and try to ignore the disappointment she felt settling in her stomach, because truth be told she was too young to really articulate why it was there in the first place.

Femperial is the first time she’s felt like her life has direction, like she has direction outside the confines of expectation and without anyone’s aide. It had started as a passion project — something to occupy her from the crippling devastation that came with Liam’s absence, but …

By the time he was back (and actually remembered being back), it was a career, and one she loved, but one that Liam thought was starting to run her ragged.

“I know what a break is.” Fallon snapped, but he saw the humor glinting behind her gaze.

Liam smiled in return, tilting his chin before leaning forward to kiss the top of her head. “Well then,” He mumbled into her hair, “maybe you should bring it into practice before you go crazy. Or … drive Griffin crazy.”

Fallon felt he way her nerve endings tingled and fizzled as he formed the words against the roots of her hair. Her eyes closed, and he took it as permission to bring his kiss from the top of her head, to her cheek, to the space just below her jawline, and —

“Liam …” Fallon whined softly. “I can’t. Not here.”

“You’re the boss, last time I checked.” Liam whispered, marveling at the soft murmur his lips moving against her bare skin elicited from the woman.

Fallon gigged, grabbing him by the chin and kissing him squarely. “Maybe so, but that actually makes me more culpable … last time I checked.”

Liam groaned when she rolled her chair a few centimeters away from him, but complied, reclaiming his seat on the far side of her desk. She watched as he placed the book he had been largely ignoring back on his lap and quirked an eyebrow upward. Fallon chuckled, shaking her head, before returning back to whatever she had been doing prior to the interruption on her computer. Liam watches her brow furrow as she returns to her work, before heaving a sigh and unfolding the page of his novel.

He’s not sure how long they sit like that — long enough that the next time he looks up from his half finished book, the sun is golden, and Fallon is … she’s asleep? Liam thinks, crooning his eyes to wear her head is placed on the crook of her elbow and her curls are spilling over the edge of her desk. Oh my god she fell asleep. 

He has half a mind not to wake her — Fallon’s stillness is something of a relief if he’s being honest — but he knows that if he doesn’t, someone else will eventually barge into the office looking for her, and that would simply mortify her. From his vantage point he can just barely make out the way her ribcage rises and falls to give way to the slowness of her lungs expanding. Liam smiles, closing his book delicately, and coming beside her.

“Hey.” He whispers, pushing a few strands of hair off her cheek with his index finger before tracing the profile of her face.

Fallon stirs, mumbling softly, but otherwise does not change. Liam can only assume that its the equivalent to her rolling over were they in bed, Liam thinks, and has to stifle the laugh that threatens to spill over his lips at the sigh.

“Fallon, babe, wake up.” He practically sings before leaning over to kiss her cheek.

She wakes with a start, then, practically knocking the side of her head into the front of his as she sits upright, placing her hands on the desk like she’s holding on for dear life, and snapping her eyes open.

“Good morning to you too, sunshine.” Liam gripes.

“How long was I out.” Fallon groans, blinking her eyes and checking her phone screen as she once more orients herself with where she is.

“Not sure. A while, I think.” He shrugs. The brunette looks at him, and his smile falls when he sees the panic streaking across them. “What’s wrong?”

“The … the goddamn Griffin option.” She breathes. “It was due at three.”

Liam fumbles with his coat pocket until he finds his phone, clicking the home button, and … shit. His eyes close, breath dropping out of him in as his knuckles close around his phone. “It’s 4:30.” 

“Why didn’t you wake me?” It comes as a dangerously low grumble, and he jerks his gaze towards her.

Fallon isn’t just angry, she’s pissed — cheeks red, eyes narrowed, lips drawn into a snarl. Liam looks at her a little incredulously, because … it’s not my fucking fault. He doesn’t say it, because he knows it won’t help, and ultimately he knows that she doesn’t actually think it's about him. Which begs the question …

“Fallon what the hell is wrong?” He asks, and before she can snap back, adds, “Really?”

It was rare for him to come to her dance recitals. As a matter of fact, Fallon can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen her in the audience. When she joins the competitive team at her school, and even earns herself a solo, she had begged Blake to come. He complied less because he was proud, and more because he was curious.

She was a beautiful dancer, admittedly, and were she not born into the family she was, it might have made a viable career option for her. Blake had watched her dance, and feels something akin to pride. It was short lived, though, when awards were announced and she came in second. He left before the ceremony was over, stalking back to the car, and sucking down scotch in the back of Bentley while he waits for her.

She’s thirteen the first time her father tells her that she’s “a Carrington. Loosing is not an option, Fallon.”

“I lost!” She shrieks. “I … fuck, I didn’t even loose, I just wasn’t a contender!”

Liam realizes that what he had mistaken at panic in her wasn’t that at all — it was grief. Grief over a lost option, over something that she would see a million more of during her time as a publisher, that she would lose a million more of.

“Fallon, it’s ok.” He says, and its a little harsher than he means it to sound, but … is she fucking serious?

“No it’s not, Liam.” Fallon rasps, shooting out of her chair and slamming her hands on her desk. “If I can’t even get a goddamn eighteen year old to sign with me, how is anyone going to take me seriously? Leila Griffin was a perfect client for us, and I dropped the ball, because I was —“

“Because you were tired, Fallon.” He cuts her off, ignoring the sharp look it earns him. “Because … Jesus, because you’ve been working nonstop, and you’re not taking care of yourself.”

It hits her like a ton of bricks. “Oh my god, is that what this is about?”

Liam’s brow furrows as he tries to keep up. “What … what? What what is about?”

“The visits.” She seethes, color rising in her cheeks once more. “The coffee, asking me to wake you up when I get home, and your incessant company. Is … is this all because you’re trying to fucking play doctor?”

“I’m trying to help, Fallon.” He shoots back, his voice low in his tenor. “I was trying to take help take some of the pressure off of you! Jesus, what did you think this was all about?”

“I thought you were flirting!” Fallon shrieks, arms jutting out to her sides like she’s presenting tangible evidence. “I thought you were — … ! I … fuck, I don’t know! I thought you were bored, and looking to be preoccupied, or something. That’s all!”

He can’t help but laugh by the time she’s done, because even she sounds uncertain about her reasoning. Liam watches the muscles in her shoulders release as she considers what she’s just said. 

“Ok … maybe … maybe, like, deep in my subconscious, I knew why you were here, but that doesn’t change anything.”

He’s full on cackling by the time she’s done, which he thinks she might kill him for, but he doesn’t care. he starts to giggle too, covering her face with her hands to hide her smile. It’s almost off putting, because he’s really expecting her to be angry, or defiant, but she’s just …

“Maybe I am tired.” She mumbles, the sound getting muffled into her palms.

“Are you sure? I think you’re doing great.” Liam teases, silver eyes glinting, and Fallon groans softly, and yeah … she’s sorry. Liam pulls her into his arms, the scent of his shampoo making him heave a contended sigh.

“You’re gonna have a million opportunities thrown at you, Fal.” He levels, weaving his fingers through her curls. “You can’t win ‘em all. Hell, no one expects you too.”

He thinks he might have hit on something when he says it, because she pulls away (not before he can feel her tense in his arms) and looks at him with stormy blue eyes, it takes everything in him not to break her gaze, because she looks so somber. He thinks there’s something particularly unsettling about somberness on her because it requires a certain amount of defeat, and Fallon Carrington does not go down without a fight.

It might be the first time she hasn’t been punished for making a mistake. A sheer B+ was reason enough for Blake or Alexis to come down on their children, going so far as to insult their characters when they were especially upset with them. Fallon has heard how mistakes are her fault so many times that she’s effectively learned how to stop making them - or at least how to project the blame. It makes for a great businesswoman, but a sometimes shitty woman, woman. In a lot of ways, Fallon owes who she is to them, which is as much reason to love them as it is to resent them, she thinks.

“I was off my game.” Fallon inhales when she sees a way out within what he says. “I do need a break.”

She spins, clicking a few buttons on her computer. He hears it whirr and hum for a moment before falling silent, and he realizes with a decent amount of relief that she’s turned it off. Fallon, on the other hand, seems uncertain, her fingers trailing idly on her keyboard as she brings her gaze back to him. Liam smiles softly, reaching for her hand and squeezing it softly.

“This is a good thing.” He says, and he’s only half teasing her.

Fallon bites the inside of her cheek, giving him a knowing glare, before squeezing his hand back. She hadn’t realized how quiet her office was without the humming of her desktop, and she’s not sure yet if she likes it. Her eyes flick to the window pained door that separates where she and Kirby work. The other woman’s desk is covered in papers and empty coffee cups, but there’s no sign of her.

Or anyone else, for that matter.

“Where did everyone go?” She murmurs mostly to herself.

Liam shrugs, the image of everyone finding times to sneak out before she woke up flashing through his mind. He doesn’t say anything, just places his free hand on the small of her back and kisses her delicately. She squeaks at the jolt in movement, before melting into him and bringing her arms around his shoulders. Liam pushes her against the desk, trailing his hand up her back to the spot just below her ribcage.

“Liam…” She protests weakly when his lips find her neck. “This is still where I work.”

“Right, because your moral compass is always pointed due north.” He breathes, kissing her neck again and smiling when her breath hitches in her throat.

“Are you flirting with me, Liam Ridley?” She muses softly, her fingers finding the space between his pants and his shirt trailing up the muscles in his back. 

Liam pulls away so that he’s looking at her and god she wants to wipe that smirk straight off his face, because he looks all too pleased with himself, and it makes her heart melt. 

“Maybe.” He coos, kissing her again and bringing his own hands to toy with the top button of her deep green Chanel blouse.

Fallon’s breathing goes a little ragged, and before she can really think about what she’s doing, she’s kissing him again, hard and fervent, and mussing his hair between her fingers. Liam pulls away after a few moments, his eyes meeting hers knowingly as he ignores her whines in protest.

“We can go home if you want.” He flirts easily.

“You’re right, we could.” Fallon says cooly back. “Or …”

“Or?”

“… Or we could just make out.”

[damian-dreamz8442]

5x’s Someone Used the Mom-Arm on Damian, +1 time He Did

A bit screwy when it comes to following the canonical timeline but you know what? I do what I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some angsty, mostly fluffy, just a bit of batfam fun starring my favorite baby bat! Might be a tad OOC but it’s my first go with all these lovelies and I haven’t gotten the hang of them yet. Give me tiiiiime. 

(Really hecking long. Did not mean for it to be so long. I am so, so sorry.)

i.

Jason worked alone. It wasn’t that he was broody and in denial like a certain someone - not mentioning names - he actually had a reason to work alone. He didn’t go on nightly patrols to keep up appearances. He didn’t drive around in a heated, leather interior, Jason mobile. He didn’t even have a butler who knew first aid. 

Jason’s missions were dangerous, and often times traumatizing. You can imagine why he would be on edge when a freaking ten-year-old with an attitude showed up on the rooftop of one of his stakeouts. 

“Absolutely not.” Jason hissed, grabbing Robin’s shoulder. Damian turned and raised an eyebrow at him. “Tt, please. You have no say in the matter.”

“Like hell I ‘have no say in the matter’. You’re going home right now or, so help me, I’m tying you to that A/C unit. Don’t you have homework? Or normal ten-year-old activities to attend to?”

“This mundane drug-cartel stakeout is an activity fitting for me, my age having nothing to do with my abilities.”

Honestly, would it kill the kid to use some contractions? His full-word responses were giving Jason the impression he was a robot and not his “baby brother”. Speaking of family...

“Where’s Batman? Isn’t he supposed to be looking after you?” Not me? Damian looked away, and it sort-of almost broke the shriveled remainder of Jason’s heart. So Bruce was still a moron. Good to know. 

“Alright kid, stay close.” Jason tried not to notice the way Damian visibly brightened, and then did his best to by hyper-focused. He no longer was suspicious of Damian being a robot. He was just a kid. 

Suddenly, there was movement. There was movement in the warehouse owned by a notoriously dangerous drug-cartel that wasn’t supposed to be making any moves for a few more weeks. Of course they had to move up their schedule. Of course Damian had to fight with Bruce tonight and warrant Jason’s pity. Of course Jason was an idiot, as Damian was already off like a shot. 

Jason sprinted after him, using every curse he knew - he knew enough to keep rambling them until he was close enough to snatch Damian by the scruff of his neck. 

Setting the fighting ball of fury back on the ground, Jason assessed the situation - Dick would be so proud. “Alright, we have to go check it out, but be quiet.” Damian geared up to rush off again before Jason even finished his sentence. Without thinking, Jason’s arm lashed out, it would’ve clothes-lined the kid if they weren’t so close together. As it was it caught Damian in the chest and he let out a whoosh of air, both arms wrapping around Jason’s. He looked up at him, almost-glaring. 

“Quietly, and together.”

ii.

Dick did not like to admit it, but he’d never been the greatest driver. When he donned the cowl, worrying about learning to drive the batmobile hadn’t been his biggest concern. In fact, it wasn’t even on his list of concerns. It wasn’t even on his list of concerns for another time concerns. 

“I’ll drive.” Damian, the adorable little gremlin announced as they put on their costumes. Dick looked up, looked at Alfred’s incredulous expression, and then back at Robin. 

“Absolutely not.” It should’ve gone without saying that Damian was far too young to drive a car, not to mention the batmobile. It had missile launchers while most cars had seat warmers. 

“I can drive.” Was this a serious argument? Damian was making his way to the vehicle and Dick worried that if he didn’t say something soon the little boy would just hop into the driver’s seat. “No. No! Damian, I will be driving.” Dick rushed to put on his other boot, stumbling to catch up. 

Dick was wondering if maybe he should’ve let the kid drive. Damian could barely see over the steering wheel, but he’d probably be a better driver than Dick. 

The batmobile unintentionally drifted another corner, nearly going up onto the sidewalk. A white van of gun-toting penguin goons got further away. Dick was white-knuckling the steering wheel, Damian was seething silently. 

Dick could do this, he could. 

Suddenly, the van lurched to a stop at the edge of the harbor. Dick had been too focused on keeping the car on the road, he hadn’t noticed the asphalt change to wood. He slammed on the brakes, car skidding on damp wood. Why was everything in Gotham always damp? 

Dick’s arm shot out protectively, clamping across Damian’s chest. He knew he was wearing a seatbelt, but couldn’t help the need to make sure he was ok and not flying face-first through the wind screen. 

When the car finally stopped, the brothers shared a look. Damian shoved Grayson’s arm off him with a glare. 

“I think maybe I should drive.”

iii.

Cass looked up from her book only because the noise in the other room had reached a volume where it was impossible to focus on anything else. She didn’t bother hearing the words, just the voices. Ah, Tim had come home. And he was already fighting with everyone’s favorite gremlin, Damian. 

Bruce wasn’t home yet, Alfred was as busy as always, and Duke was probably still at school. Wait, it was a Tuesday. Duke had tutoring today - he’d gotten involved in a mentorship program with younger kids at his school. The other boys would not stop teasing him about following in Bruce’s footsteps, or how they wouldn’t be surprised if he brought home his own Robin. Cass was proud of him. 

That did not change that two of her other brothers were arguing at the top of their lungs and making it impossible for her to read, or reflect on her other family member’s achievements. 

She got up and approached the living room without making a sound, stopping in the doorway. Damian and Tim were yelling, Tim’s arms were in the air, Damian’s cheeks were turning a frustrated shade of pink. She was about to say something diffusing when she saw it. She knew the signs well, was trained to watch out for them. Trained to do them herself. 

Damian squared his posture, leaned on his dominant leg, and slid his left foot out no more than an inch. Tim was still in full swing. Cass shot forward faster than Damian could. She could not bear the thought of hurting her baby brother, but her arm shot out instinctively. 

Damian, who had been in mid-lunge for Tim, was caught square in the diaphragm by Cass’s unmoving appendage. He let out an oomph and fell back onto the carpet. Tim started in surprise, taking in Cass’s sudden appearance. 

“Wow, thanks Cass!” He said, but Cassandra had no use for words. She took in Tim’s casual body language and relieved expression. Then she looked at Damian. He was still on the floor, it had already been five seconds - his average stand-up time. His whole body was tense, controlled, not coiled. He was looking at the floor, his face was still red. 

Oh. Oh no. 

Cassandra’s stance fell and she crouched in front of Damian. He eyes were welling with tears. Maybe she should’ve listened to what Tim said in that argument. 

Tim noticed Cass crouching, staring. “Uh, Cass...?” Too late, she’d already bundled the boy in her arms and stood. Tim took a step back, arms coming up to shield himself from the inevitable next move. He waited for Damian to attempt to break away from Cass, to lash out kicking and screaming, maybe even biting. 

To everyone’s surprise - except Cass, she was never surprised - Damian curled into his sister’s shoulder. She nodded at Tim before moving to leave. 

“No more fighting.”

iv.

Bruce was finally settling back into normal. Well, nothing in Gotham was normal, especially if you were secretly the most well-known vigilante in the city. But, normal to him. 

He was no longer ‘dead’, Dick was no longer ‘dead’ and visitng Gotham regularly, Tim and Duke had settled in to living together with their littlest brother and, oh yeah, he’d gotten Damian back. After months of work and tireless efforts, he could finally hold his baby boy in his arms again. He could ruffle his hair in passing, compare school photos to his own as the boy got older, and bundle him up in a hug when he had nightmares of him being dead. 

And Damian was here, with him. He wasn’t going to be another Jason, another loss of a beautiful soul. He was sitting right next to Bruce on the couch, pencil skittering across a page of his sketchbook. 

Still, it hadn’t been long enough for Bruce’s fears to dissipate. In fact, he doubted they ever would. He would be over-protective of Damian for the rest of his life - even if the young man didn’t want it.  

Breaking the silence, there was a bang at the window. Damian started before setting aside his sketchbook to go check what it was. It was probably Alfred - the cat. Still, images of horrible things went through Bruce’s mind. 

Talia, there to steal Damian away permanently. 

Assassins, back to finish the job. 

Even just a robber taking advantage of a large house smelling like money, who had the element of surprise and a gun. 

Bruce was up before his brain knew what his legs were doing. His arm lurched away from his body, stopping Damian in his tracks. The poor boy walked right into it, rubbing his ribcage with a puzzled expression. 

“I’ll check.” Bruce offered as explanation for the offending appendage, leaving Damian by the couch and pulling back the curtain. Bruce finally let out the breath he was holding at the sight of the fluffy cat on the windowsill. 

v.

“Slow down, don’t rush into things!” Tim hissed, firing his grapple after Damian. He could see the yellow underside of Robin’s cape land on a building ahead of him. 

Tim was more experienced at Gotham thugs, he didn’t blame Damian for not noticing it. Damian was young, and probably trying to prove something to Tim. He was obsessed with proving his worth. He didn’t take the time to smell the air. 

The standard Gotham smog was thick with the smell of burning gasoline. There were promising tendrils of smoke from the building diagonal to Damian. The building he preparing to grapple too. Oh geez. 

Tim ran, he was just fast enough to stick out an arm and block Damian from running forwards and leaping off the edge of the building. 

Damian ran right into his arm. Tim had been expecting him to barrel through it for some reason, maybe because he was so good at fighting or had such bravado. Instead, he reacted the way all eleven-year-olds did. He was knocked back with a grunt, nearly falling over. 

Tim blinked at the strange display of childish behavior as Damian stuck his arms out to regain his balance. He hadn’t even exerted any force on Tim’s arm. His glare after that display lacked any heat, and it was kind of adorable. 

“Damian, pay attention.” Tim gestured at the on-fire building. Suddenly, there were sharp popping and cracking sounds from the smoky warehouse. Tim’s full attention was on it now, and he pulled up the specs of the address. 

It was an old office building but had been abandoned after one of Joker’s attacks damaged the structural integrity. There were signs and bars on every doorway marking it for demolition. He looked over and saw Damian was already doing a read for heat signatures. 

He was, for once, proud of his brother. 

Then Tim noticed something on the specs. The building had an old built-in heating system, attached to a gas-powered generator on the third floor. Hoo boy, it was going to blow. 

After a rather loud bang, Tim acted. For once he didn’t plan out every bad thing this next action could cause. He lunged, using the arm that had still been hanging in the air slightly in front of Damian to grab his little brother and pull him against his chest. He then ducked and pulled his cape around them. Before Damian could recover from the surprise, the building exploded. 

Tim could feel debris bounce off him, though not much. Heat bit at his ankles. Nothing broke through his cape barrier. One hand braced on Damian’s head, he tucked the boy suffocatingly close. Damian didn’t move until the blast had dissipated. 

When it had, Damian shoved hard on his brother’s chest and made a display of brushing himself off. Tim didn’t miss how Damian’s attention was actually on him, quickly assessing him for any injuries. He had none. 

Tim was proud of his brother, for a second time. 

+ (vi.)

Damian did not get along well with most of his siblings, so when the opportunity arose to spend time with one he had actually grown to respect, he took advantage of it. Alfred’s suggestion had made him excited in a way that Mother would’ve thought shameful. Damian did his best not to think that. 

He was nearly bouncing in the backseat of the buick, looking out the window without actually seeing. 

Duke and Damian did not get along when they first met. However, Duke made it clear he was not Robin, nor trying to replace Damian. He was useful in a unique way. He fit in at the manor. He respected Bruce, he even seemed to respect Damian. 

Damian wasn’t so sure he was liked by Duke, but respect was enough. At least, it used to be. 

If respect were enough, would he be listening to Alfred’s show tunes on his way to pick Duke up from school? 

They pulled up to Gotham Academy to see Duke walking out, the bell having just gone. Damian nodded at Alfred’s timing. One of his favorite things about the man was how he always managed to have perfect timing. 

Damian found himself getting out of the car, dangerously close to waving at Duke. Duke saw him and... was that a smile? Damian let out a breath of relief - he’d momentarily been afraid Duke would not be happy to see him. 

When Duke reached him, they were interrupted by a group of teenage boys yelling at them. It took Damian a moment to realize they were yelling at him. 

“Duke, I thought you had too much self-respect to get in a car with some spoiled little rich kid!” Yelled one. Rich? Yes. Spoiled? Well, only recently. 

“The brat’s probably illiterate since he’s too much of a coward to go to school!” Damian knew several languages and was already 3 grades ahead. Couldn’t they think of any better insults?

“Little arabian bastard, did they actually do a DNA test on this one?” Ok, that one stung a bit. Damian was preparing to get back in the car and bristle, perhaps vent to Grayson later. He was not prepared for a low growl to come from Duke. 

“How. Dare. You.” Thomas hissed. Damian turned back to look at him, he was positively seething, fists clenched at his sides. 

“Come on Duke, why hang out with the petty little brat?” 

Duke lurched forwards and Damian’s eyes widened in surprise. Was he actually preparing to defend him? Damian copied a move he’d learned from the rest of his family to diffuse a situation. 

He stuck out his arm, though it only caught Duke in his middle, he looked down. Successfully diffused. Damian was impressed with the immediate effect. 

“They are not worth it, Thomas.” 

Duke nodded and followed Damian into the car. Then he grinned. 

“Back there... you... did you just mom-arm me?”

“What-arm you?!”

Alfred restrained laughter the rest of the way home at Damian’s facial expression while Duke explained the reasoning and use behind the ‘mom-arm’.

[spiralledcupid]

On the Upswing p1

Parings: None/Undecided

Words: 2,593

Synopsis: Giran makes a joke about Toga needing a responsible adult to join the League of Villains. Unfortunately, she takes him seriously. Even worse, the only responsible adult she can think of is a demon. Or the ‘Dabi is a Demon’ AU. 

.

.

It’s dark with clouds and the threat of thunder when Toga skips into the office. She’s in her best cardigan, the one without the stains, and her earbuds are playing her “<3 JOY <3” playlist, for added confidence. She knows Giran, but only as the voice on the other side of her phone. Now she’s meeting him, she wants to be as peppy and upbeat as possible, then maybe he’ll like her!

She wants Giran to like her. It’s not often she gets an offer like this, where they actually like what she does.

Grinning to herself, Toga raps sharply on the door, then gives it a merry shove open.

As soon as he sees her, the man behind the desk smashes his cigarette into an overflowing ashtray, waving the smoke away from her. It doesn’t stop them smell.

“Hi! I’m Toga Himiko.”

“Giran.” The man coughs slightly, turning to open a window. Toga keeps grinning, doing her best to show off her fangs. This is gonna be so great. She can make friends, maybe even meet cute boys, and maybe even get paid, and how could Giran not take her-

“I’m not too young!”

Giran shakes his head, smiling a snake oil smile, “Go home, kid. Find an adult to sign your permission form, then we’ll talk.”

There’s a knife up Toga’s sleeve, and it would be really, really easy for her to just pull it out and swing the way she always does. And she could. She really could, but- well, then she’d have even less chance of joining the League. And joining the League is all she wants to do. She’s never had a Career Goal before, not even when she actually attended school and had regular meetings with the guidance counsellor. But now she does- and Giran’s saying no!

The guidance counsellor never told her that could happen.

Before she knows it, Toga has been walked out of the office and back into the cold.

With nothing else to do, she goes back the way she came. The rain is starting to fall, fat, heavy drops which make her twin bins droop. She doesn’t have any broody music downloaded, so she can’t even mourn right. With the rain soundtracking her walk home, she feels like she’s in some kind of emo movie, one without romance and with low ratings. The thought depresses her even more.

She finds a place under a fire exit to shelter until the rain stops, chewing her already chapped lip as she thinks. The League was her chance. She knows they’d keep her hidden from heroes, and help her live the way she should be living.

If only she were an adult.

If only she had an adult.

She knows Giran was joking about the permission form, she’s not that stupid, but he can’t turn her down if she finds someone SUPER powerful, can he? Someone who can’t betray her, someone who can’t join the League without Toga, but wants to join.

Where is she gonna find a villain like that?

Toga stands up straight.

Maybe she doesn’t need to find them.

 On her way ‘home’, Toga drops in at the local library. She hasn’t been there since elementary school, but no one notices another rain-sodden girl in a middle school uniform, even if her teeth are a little sharper and her eyes a little smarter than the ones they’re used to. But she doesn’t want to push her luck by asking for help.

As she wanders the shelves, she takes care to linger by the scattered radiators. She doesn’t want to get sick after all.

She’s lucky; the section she wants is tucked in a back corner, far from prying librarian eyes. There aren’t many books, but she still struggles to shove them all into her fluffy backpack. The ones she can’t have to go under her cardigan. She’s not stealing, not really. She’ll bring them back.

The ones that don’t work, anyway.

Whistling to herself, Toga skips out of the library and all the way home.

 Home is an overstatement. It’s the room above an abandoned shop, the For Let sign sunbleached and weathered. No one else wants it, so Toga moved right in. It has a basic bathroom, and a mattress on the floor for her to sleep on, and she even manged to find a little storage heater left behind by the last owners- but it’s not home. It’s not cute or cosy, or even decorated. But she can make do for now.

If the League let her in, she won’t have to.

Toga empties her bag onto the concrete floor, hugging herself as she admires her stolen goods. She has her books, of course, and salt, black candles and chalk (because she doesn’t want a permanent pentagram on her floor). She has some leaves she cut off a plant, because proper sage is hard to find, and mixed herbs in a glass jar to fill in the blanks, and a can of coke just in case her new companion is thirsty.

She also has fries, but they don’t count because she actually had to pay for them.

Tossing books aside, Toga digs through her piles until she finds the one she’s keeping:  ‘Demon Summoning for the Crafty of Mind’. The one with the instructions in it. The book tells her how to summon a Demon, how to care for it, and most importantly how to actually control it. What the book doesn’t tell her is if Demons count as actual adults who can act as guardians and let you become a villain. But Toga figures she can just ask for an adult one and take it from there.

As she makes her way through the fries, Toga gets to work on her salt circle. She’s tired from her long day, but the demon would probably prefer to be summoned at night, right? So she puts aside her exhaustion for now, beginning her salt circle instead.

The book didn’t say what kind of salt, so she makes one first with sea salt, then with table salt. She’s sure there are other kinds, but the little store at the bottom of the road only had those two, so they’ll have to do. She’s not getting the train to the city just to buy salt. And anyway, being possessed might not be so bad. Then she’d have justification for bleeding people out, and the League would have to let her join. They couldn’t turn down an actual demon.

Then again, it wouldn’t be her. Just her body.

Toga resumes her circle.

Inside the salt circle, she draws a rough pentagram and lights a candle at each point. The store didn’t offer plain black candles, too far from Halloween, so she hopes the little penguin ones she found work instead. They’re cute anyway.

The last step, according to the book, is to light the sage on fire. Toga glances at her garden leaves and mixed herbs, before dumping them out on the floor.

It takes 10 matches to get any sort of smoke from them.

Toga sits, cross-legged, in front of her little pyre, and opens the book to the last page. Here came the hard part: Latin.

It’s not that she’s bad at languages in general, she’s just better when she actually understands them, like when they learnt English in school. And Latin is a dead language- if it’s dead, it should stay dead, right?

Whatever. It’s worth it for the League.

Toga squares her shoulders, clears her throat- and begins.

 Dabi groans, shoulders cracking as he stretches his arms ahead of him. It’s hot as- hehe- hell in the pit, and sweat has been rolling down his back for better part of a century. And, call him a bad demon, but Dabi doesn’t get on with heat. You’d think he’d have managed to sort something out, old as he is, but well. Here he is. Still with no goddamn clue why he’s got demon skin that still burns easy.

In fact, Dabi muses as he rolls his shoulders, one after the other, he’s probably been down here for longer than a century. The thing about never telling anyone your real name is that no-one knows it, meaning no-one can drag you from your firey pit and let you lay carnage to the earth.

As he muses on his eternal entrapment and what that could mean for his mental state, Dabi becomes vaguely aware of some sort of ringing. It’s distant, a voice he doesn’t know that’s somehow as familiar as breathing, as the smell of burnt skin and singed hair. As he strains his ears, something hooks, like a fishhook through his navel, and jerks sharply up.

Dabi jumps, hooves bouncing off the black rock floor for a few seconds as the hook jerks once again. The red darkness around him is getting less red and less dark as the hook pulls once more and he hears Latin echo in his ears-

And he opens his eyes.

The room is grey and empty and boring, the light of the moon warring with the small electric light in the corner as it pours in through the curtainless window. The air is gentle and blessedly cold against his skin as he stands on the uncovered floor, ringed by salt.

He doesn’t need to taste to know it’s both kinds.

Dammit.

He spins slowly, searching for the cautious summoner. On his first 360, all he catches is a small flash of blonde.

On the next, he looks down a bit.

“Jesus. And I thought gremlins went extinct.”

“I’m not a gremlin!” The girl protests, and she’s right, she’s not. Her nose isn’t small enough, “I’m a human.”

“Whatever.” There’s no breaks in the circle either.

God dammit. Species aside, this girl was good. If he had time, he could probably find a way around her wards, but she talked so quick he was struggling to keep up without simultaneously thinking of a way to trick her.

“Are you a demon?” She asks. Her bright, wide grin shows sharp teeth and too much gum.

“No. I’m a human too,” A glance confirms she’s immune to sarcasm, “Joking. Whaddya want?”

The girl pouts slightly, tipping her head back, “I want… A responsible adult.”

“And you summoned a demon? Just get your parent to sign the school form, kid. No need for forgery.”

She glances down to the floor, taking in Dabi’s bare, cloven feet, “I don’t have them.”

Ah.

“Fine. Where’s the damn form?” Honestly, this is possibly the least interesting thing he’s ever done, and he’s spent summer of 1456 harvesting crops. At least then he got a weapon.  

The girl rubs at her eyes with the cuff of her cardigan sleeve. “It’s not a form. I wanna join the League of Villains. But the man said I have to wait until I’m 18 or get a responsible adult. And I don’t want to wait three years!”

“So you summoned a demon?”

“Will you help me join?”

Dabi sits down in the circle, considering his options. On one hand, this kid is 15. And even he’s got a few qualms about letting a kid join a group of- villains? A crime syndicate? The mafia? Whatever it was, he wasn’t fully down with it.

On the other hand.

A crime group promised carnage of all kinds. Even if he had to pretend to have invented super-potent matches to use his flames, like he did last time.

And he knows what he was like when he was 15, getting cast into hell and all. Laughing on the way down.

The kid didn’t even have parents…

“Fine. You got a contract, or do I have to do that for you too?”

The girl squeals, sprinting across the room to grab a notebook off the floor.

“I copied out the one in the book!”

“Toss it over.”

It’s pretty fair. He can’t possess her (standard), and he has to ask before he uses his powers (lame), but there’s nothing forbidding carnage, ruin or any other type of destruction. Dabi can live with that. He signs his name, his real name, and tosses it back over the salt circle.

 “How’d you get my name, anyway?”

The air feels like ice against Dabi’s raw skin when the kid breaks the salt ring around him, setting him free. His hooves click against the uncovered floor as he takes care not to touch the salt. He knows the line is broken, from the flow of air and unmuffled noise of the road outside, but he’s been burnt by impatience before.

The girl shrugs, “I didn’t. But all the demon names the book gave sounded like a mess of letters, so I just made it up and hoped for the best.”

It’s fair. After all, Dabi can only pronounce his name when he’s 100% sober, so how can anyone expect a kid to do better?

“Great. Just, don’t say it around other people, right? Or else they can tell me what to do too.”

The girl pouts, “Then what do I call you?”

“I go by Dabi.”

The girl grins, showing off teeth that are sharper than Dabi’s, “I’m Toga Himiko!”

They shake, Toga’s palm hot against Dabi’s cold skin.

“So, where’s this League?”

Toga shakes her head so fast she blurs, “No, wait. You can’t go out like that, you look all-all-“

“Demon-like? So what do you suggest?” Dabi arches an eyebrow, then remembers he doesn’t have any.

Toga leaps into the air, hands curled under her chin, “Makeovers!”

Oh no.

 “You look so scary!” Toga wails an hour later, as Dabi finishes roughing up the already tattered shirt. He’s already in the pants Toga got for him, the rough fabric brushing over his unfamiliar human legs. They suit him though, in a weird, goth way. The shirt looks good too, now he’s finished making it as burnt and lowcut as possible. And Toga said he could keep his burns, which helps. It’s a pain glamouring over all of them all the time.

Unfortunately, she won’t let him keep his feet.

“I thought this Quirk thing meant hooves were normal.”

“But your quirk isn’t hooves, it’s fire! Who’s ever been scared of a villain with hooves?

Dabi snorts, wiggling his new toes with fascinated disgust, “Sane people? I could trample them.”

“But I’m in charge!” Toga reminds him, skipping over to the pile of candy she managed to ‘procure’.

Dammit. He’d forgot that.

“Fine, I’ll have feet. But I’m not using normal fire, that’s weak shit.”

Toga huffs, blowing her fringe out of her eyes. Over the night, her hair has worked itself out of the two messy buns she had it in, and her eye bags have grown and grown.

You can’t see Dabi’s eyebags, mostly because he’s covered them with identical semi-circle burns, the way he’s covered all the ancient markings that litter his body. Those, like his hooves, aren’t fit for even a Quirk-filled society. He just has to remember not to let the glamour slip.

Even so, he looks good.

His red hair is replaced by a thick, inky black, setting off the purple of the burns that decorate his body. His coat, with the edges artfully burnt, has the right kind of sweep, and he looks both sleepy and hot at the same time.

It’s a good look.

Dabi glances out of Toga’s uncurtained window, taking in the slow rise of the sun, “So now are we heading out?”

[parttimepuff]

Also having said that maybe don’t bring Kirby he kinda killed her, I think. Maybe keep the pink bouncy ball outta this for a second.

"What?" Kirby asked, concerned by that comment. Dedede froze, having literally just knocked on the door. That... he would cross that bridge when he got to it, now wasn't the time.

Everyone was brought to attention by the knock on the door. "he’s here…" Beep mumbled, seated next to her father on the couch. "Y-yeah… We're sure about this..?" Reverie asked the others, hoping for some response that would make him feel more confidant. Luna, seated in a chair pulled from the dining table, looked between him and Gremlin. She couldn't really provide what he wanted, at a loss for words. The Dream Demon sighed. "Sure enough." He responded.

"how can you not be sure when we’re already here..?" The Matter piped up, staring at him. "N-no, it's just…" Reverie tried to defend himself. He'd been so wrapped up in his own fear, he hadn't considered how she would see it. "You're nervous, Rev. It's ok. We're together on this." Gremlin told him, Luna nodding in agreement in lieu of her own encouragement. Beep was silent for a moment before grabbing some of his feathers. "we’ll be okay." She murmured. Her father paused, before nodding himself. He had to keep it together for her. Seeing they were as ready as they could be, Gremlin made his way down the short hallway to the door, opening it. There they both were. "Welcome to my place." He greeted them, only able to muster a nervous smile. He was far from the only one feeling tense, the kind coughing into a fist. "Yeah, it's, nice ta see fully built." Dedede commented. Still thinking about the stranger's comment, Kirby tried to turn his attention to the Dream Demon. "Yeah… Looks nice!" He added.

"Thanks." Gremlin replied, an awkward silence falling over the three as they stood about. "…can we come in now? See Rev?" Kirby questioned, the Dream Demon reluctantly opening the door further. "Right. Yeah, come in. Have a look around." He said. Though they couldn't see them yet, the sound of the king's voice made all of Reverie's feathers stand on end. Similarly, the puff's voice made Beep bristle, resembling the swordsmen all the more. Her father at least had the presence of mind to set a wing against her back as reassurance. He honestly couldn't believe she'd wanted to, not be hidden for this. It was impossible for Gremlin to not feel their fear. "Look around, slowly, though." He added, floating back and a bit taller than before. "Ok..?" Kirby agreed, confused as he was. "Right, ah can manage that." Dedede replied. He knew he was gonna scare his brother, he could try to minimize it. Beep shivered. She wasn't as ready for this as she'd thought. Reverie tried his best not to follow suit, doing his best for her. Luna, feeling out of her depth as she was, still tried to look to the both of them reassuringly.

Gremlin was the first to enter, floating back into the living room. "Seems like you haven't done a lotta decoratin'…" Dedede commented, glancing around before his eyes landed on the person he'd been hoping to find and certainly didn't expect to see. "…yet." He finished. Reverie fluffed up even more seeing him in person while Beep stared. "….oh." The king mumbled. This... he had hoped maybe she'd, be a little less frightened to see him. Sheepishly, Luna waved in an attempt to dispel the tension. It wasn't successful.

"Hm? What's up, Dedede?" Kirby spoke up, rounding the corner and locking his eyes with Beep's, his jaw dropping. The Matter suddenly stopped shaking. "YOU." She stated, her voice uncharacteristically deep with a rumbling bass. Despite being scared out of her mind, her tunnel vision was solely on Kirby now. "You!!!" The hero shouted back, his expression growing angry. Seeing where this was going, the penguin tried to step in. "Wh-hey, hold on-" He began as Gremlin placed himself between the two, only growing to be a larger obstacle, and Reverie covered her protectively, glaring at the pink puff. Slipping away from Rev's wing, Beep floated above him, still staring at Kirby. The hero pointed at her accusingly. "Were you waiting for Dedede?? Leave him alone!!! He's been through enough!!!" He yelled. "Kirb, that ain't-" The king tried again. "Back up, kid." Reverie hissed. "you kill. you hurt me." The Matter reminded him. "Because you were hurting my friend!!!" The puff exclaimed back. Being in between didn't seem to be enough, Gremlin speaking up. "Guys, we can sort this out, just take a minute-" Luna, too, made an attempt to be the voice of reason. "R-right, we can explain what happened-" "Hey-" The penguin continued, Beep still fixated on his friend, but beginning to shiver again. "h-hurt." She repeated, not deterring her accuser. "Yes!!! You hurt him and tried to make him hurt me!!!" He continued to lash out, stepping closer. "It's, more complicated than that-" Gremlin. "That wasn't-" Luna now.

"OI"

The king's voice silenced the lot of them at once. First, he looked to his friend. "Kirb, she's fine." He told him. "…huh?" Kirby replied, entirely taken aback. "Huh??" Gremlin echoed, shocked that Dedede was on her side. Reverie was fully stunned, frozen in place while Luna found herself sincerely confused with this turn. Sighing, the penguin continued. "She's not gonna hurt me. Leave her be." "B-" The hero tried, only for Dedede to raise a hand to stop him. "Ah know what ah'm talking about. Trust me."

Silently, Kirby backed up, unsure as he still was. Next, he turned to Beep. "…Beep?" Dedede started. She had also backed away slightly. "Beep." She confirmed. "Mm. He's not gonna hurt you, ok? And neither am ah. We're just, gonna talk." He assured her. Terrified as he was, Reverie was also hopeful, looking between him and Beep. Luna, still not sure what to do or hoe to help, was halfway between getting up and staying seated. "…that's a promise?" Gremlin prodded. "It is." The king confirmed, nudges Kirby to say the same. "Wh… o-ok. I promise, too." The puff obliged.

Blinking slowly, Beep's pupil returned to round from the thin line it had become. "he will though." She added, the bass gone. "Ah'm not gonna let him." Dedede promised. "Neither am I." Reverie agreed. Kirby simply stood where he was, awkwardly avoiding eye contact. The shivering was back. "f-fine." Beep relented, staying where she was. Tension hung in the air, Gremlin took it upon himself, as the host, to move this forward. "…ok. Let's talk."

[batb1tch]

It’s my boy’s birthday so here are some Jason Todd head-canons 🎉

Probably 3rd to last (Alfred and Bruce) on the list of ‘understanding internet slang’ in the household. He died and just sort of fell behind on the times (including memes, pop culture references,etc..) I know he’s known for making snarky quips and sarcastic comments but I have no doubt his siblings would call him out on his outdated references. It’s likely it’d really piss him off too like, knowledge is really everything to this kid and here he is with a group of teenagers who are always on top of shit (Steph, Tim, Duke, even Dick) and he doesn’t know what they’re talking about the majority of the time. Can’t figure out how to use Twitter or Snapchat and he does not have the patience to learn. It’s a genuine sore spot for him regardless of the humorous side.

Has an inner city accent that will never leave him. Still pronounce “on” like “awn” and frequently drops his r’s (which Bruce acts like he hates but really he finds it endearing.) Drops his “ing”s like “nothing” is “nothin.”

Fantastic chef, learned from the best. Very good at making something out of nothing and making it last. Steph has been showing him how to can things like fruit and vegetables. She’s basically just enabled his doomsday prepping behavior.

Speaking of, if you think Bruce is bad with the backup plans (yes there is always a b c d — z) where do you think Jay got it from? Absolutely anal about planning and contingencies. Has a backup for his backups.

Has a small hoard of books hidden in an end-table back at one of his safe houses. His favorite classics (mostly gifted by Bruce.)

Loves the smell of paper.

Definitely could use them but refuses to get glasses. Babs teases him for his squinting when she gets the chance.

“Just join the club book-worm, promise it won’t ruin your badass reputation.”

Jason ~squinting~ “I’d rather die....again.”

Collects cool bookmarks.

Definitely names his guns.

Favorite meal is literally any Spanish/Mexican dish followed by a good chili dog & a coke.

Can pack away enough food to feed a horse and keep going, not even Bruce knows how he does it. Alfred acts like he’s a pain in the ass to cook for but loves feeding him anyways. “You’ll eat us out of house and home someday my dear boy, good god.”

While we’re at it, he is 100% taller and wider than Bruce. You might think it makes Bruce a bit uncomfortable when standing right next to him (I mean...it does lol) but he absolutely loves when Jay throws his weight around because the malnourished string-bean of a child that he met on the street could now powerlift a small automobile and he is so fucking proud and happy that he grew up to be big and healthy (that he managed to grow up AT ALL mind you) how could he be mad? He probably tears up at the dinner table after Jay fills his plate for 4th time that evening and still intends to stay for dessert because he loVES HIM.

His feet definitely hang off the end of his bed by like, the shins because his room only has a full compared to everyone else’s king/queen. It never got upgraded when he hit puberty (because he was dead) and then he wouldn’t let anyone change it once he came back because that’s his bed “don’t fucking touch it I still fit just fine.” (Even though he’s like 22 and there’s a dip in the mattress that could put the Grand Canyon to shame.)

Still has a picture of Catherine hidden away. Visits her grave on the anniversary and always brings her favorite flowers (Lillie’s.)

His hands get cold really easily and they’re always dry/calloused.

Snores. Loudly.

The Lazarus pit did NoT heal his autopsy scar that shit is there for life and it is big and it is ugly. He doesn’t like taking his shirt off because of it and the look on Bruce’s face when he sees it could strip wallpaper.

Stopped dying the lock of white hair on his head.

Has spring allergies that turn him into a giant snotting watery eyed whiny baby.

He’s claustrophobic and not a fan of the dark. It’s why his helmet has night vision.

(While we’re at it, that helmet has to be the equivalent of like, iron mans on the inside. Definitely has built in comms, scopes, analysis systems, navigation, etc etc. the WORKS. whICH he designed and created himself because he’s brilliant.) (Actually Roy might have helped a little but don’t tell him that.)

Has a work-in-progress bike in the cave that hasn’t been finished for over 2 years and it will never be finished because he uses it as an excuse to hangout and spend time with Bruce. Drives Steph crazy to see it sit there but she gets it.

During his first Thanksgiving with Bruce and Alfred he cried for 15 minutes before dinner (which he’s still embarrassed about to this day) and then ate until he literally puked. He hasnt missed many Thanksgivings since he died.

TERRIBLE at 1st-person-shooters and super pissed about it.

“That’s not even realistic, an HK-416 doesn’t even have a 200 round drum. It’s bonkers! It’s madness Tim!”

“Shut the fuck up Jason you haven’t even been facing the right way since we started.”

(He’ll stick to Space Invaders and Mario fuck you very much.)

Really good at piano. Bruce asked him to start playing seriously when he moved in because “learning a musical instrument teaches self -discipline and versatility” but really it’s because one day during his Robin years Jay sat down and started plinking on the keys to a song he learned at the public youth-center on the “old shitty out of tune” wood one they had and it just happened to be a song Martha used to play Bruce all the time. He wanted to hear it fill the halls again.

Gets in a screaming match with Bruce nowadays and instead of lighting up one of Penguin’s underground casinos (like he might of used to 👀) he’ll disappear for a month to cool down. You can always tell when he gets over it though because he sends the family a postcard from wherever he is in the world. (Alfred puts them all on the fridge.)

Pit symptoms used to (and occasionally still do) include horrific night terrors, black-out rage, and brief moments of hallucinations or flashbacks. He had to relive the period of time shortly after he was pulled out through graphic and warped recollections (typically after not getting enough sleep or engaging in physical altercations.) He really only started to work through this after Ducra had suggested keeping a log and writing down everything he could remember. After a time he was able to piece together the things he had experienced or done (mostly to others) and as awful and horrible as knowing may have been, he could at least start to move on.

The more time he spent with Damian after he came back the more he could remember as well. He will occasionally speak to him in Arabic & not even realize he’s doing it (which scares the pants of Dames, himself, and Bruce.)

He does feel closer to the little gremlin because of it though. Talia likely had him as a baby with her the majority of the time after he was born and Jay was recovering/training, so he spent a substantial amount of time with both of them.

Bruce bought him a kindle for Christmas one of the first years he was back and he was (and still is but don’t tell the old man that) elated.

Occasionally mumbles in his sleep, usually in a variety of languages.

He does smoke, mostly only when he gets stressed out (because everyone reams him for it otherwise.) You’d think it’s a rebellious street kid thing but it’s actually because Catherine used to smoke the same brand and the smell reminds him of her.

His shoe size is a 13.

The time shortly after he crawled out of his own grave he could see ghosts (and I’m talking straight up dead people.) He can’t recall much of this or the time spent actually deceased (even after his dunk in the pit) but even now he’ll see things move out of the corner of his eye or get cold chills or feel like he’s being watched. When he hasn’t slept for like, 4 days and is bordering on manic depressive and harmful behavior, he starts seeing them again. Constantine prob finds him real interesting.

My guess is that he did see Catherine when he died but overall ended up in some sort of purgatory-like state which he can’t recall.

When he blushes it’s the hollows of his cheeks, back of the ears and neck and all the way down the front of his chest. The autopsy scar shows up white against it.

Has those hands that no matter how many times he washes them the oil/gun cleaner doesn’t come out of the cracks. Looks like a mechanic.

Tends to wear thicker work/type clothing like carhart fireproof pants and boots. Obviously his jacket too.

Not a fan of cold weather at all. His nose and cheek get really red and he shivers (as unmanly as that is)

OCD. His apartments are spotless, weapons and ammunition categorized and logged, etc.

Had asthma as a child and sort of grew out of it but sometimes his endurance suffers as an adult because of it.

Has this particular phone case 💀

[gladiasama]

La squadra’s headcanon

okay, here we go for our babies!

Risotto:

this big boy absolutely loves listening to music. Metallica, Nirvana,... goth daddy loves it! You can just see him hum this kind of song when he's driving or working. He doesn't sing very nice but listening to his low voice is a kinda relaxing.

when he's feeling alone or boring, he plays with little Metallica beans. Just, catch him while he pat this little cuties. You can see him with a pretty and tiny smile! Capo can be cute sometimes...

he loves help each other or stay with his team. He will do everything: strip poker, mario kart,... just ask him and he will do it for you!

the best cuddler. If you feeling sad, just put your head on his shoulder or in his chest and he will make you sit on his hips and will cuddle you until you feel better. Goth bear daddy.

Prosciutto:

oh boy. This pretty blond LOVES to take care of himself: his hair, his skin, his face, everybody has to be perfect. When he is on the bathroom, you should have a lot of time behind you because he can take hours. His products are very nice and smell so goood.

after a long day, just put your hands on his hair and his face so he will become a putty in your hands in less 5 seconds. But don't forget this, never touch his hair if he doesn't let you do this. He will be kind of angry but you are his baby, he didn't think what he said. When he doesn't work, he will do a pretty ponytail or something like that, it really suit him good.

oh what a good and sexy cooker(i'm not sure if cooker means something?). If it's your turn to cook something, be sure he'll be here and makes the best meal you have ever eat.

you have nothing to do this afternoon? Right, go shopping baby. Be sure that he will buy you everything you want or really suit you well even if the price hurts ouch he mentally screams. Pesci could be here too because of the bags. Prosciutto has to hold your hand in his right hand and his cigarette in his left hand. Also, there is 99,99% that he will buy you secretly something he likes and suits you, you don't know what will happens if he buys you sweet lingerie:)

Formaggio:

ooh this cheese boy loveees to eat. Just stay with him on your couch, bring some junk food and he will be in heaven. If you feeling bold, before he returns of his work or a tiring day, try or make a very good meal for him, he loves everything you do! If Formaggio eats too much, just go to lay with him and cover his face and stomach with kisses, rub his head, face, back or his tummy and he is all yours!

always has a new cat. One time, you surprise him feeding some cats in the town. He seems to be so happy when you tell him that you love cats as he likes them! But be ready if one day, he returns at home with a box of kittens on his arms, his clothes on it. Be ready for your babies!

if you are sad, he will put his heart and soul to make you smile! He hates seeing you sad and tired. He'll pay attention to your face, if he sees a little smile on your face, there is 100% chance that he will tease you and kiss all your face and told you on his arms. Big teddy bear hug boyfriend loves you so much!

sunny day outside? Go for walking, shopping or anything you want! Want to watch a movie? Sure, he’ll shrink the two of yours and free cinema! It’s not very legal but Formi doesn’t care, he just wants you having a good time. Want to walk after, here you go! If you’re tired, he’ll shrink you and put you in one of his pocket. Or if you want more fun, you piggy back on his back and be sure he’ll run if there is a slope only to make you scream lol

Pesci:

shy boy, oh what a tiny shy ananas boy. If the weather is very nice, he’ll take you to go fishing all the day! Prosciutto he has prepare everything for you, like food Prosciutto he makes himself, the drink he takes,etc... He teaches you how fishing and all the things you have to know about fish and friends, at the end of the day, you’ll try to hunt like a bear, Pesci had to stop you please no. You return at home completely wet, but you have something to eat for like 2 months. 

pesci likes to play games with you and the squad, but it’s never during to much time because of Ghiaccio who always screams and destroys everything when he loses. Also, he likes to watch movies with you, his record is 6 movies in only one night in your company. Don’t watch with him an emotional movie or he will cry during one week week poor baby;-;

if Prosciutto forces asks him to follow him for shopping, he happily accepts! Even if Prosciutto forces him to carry his bags, Pesci is okay! At the end, when Prosciutto buys a lot of clothes and beauty products, he decided to make Pesci some gifts, something he’s sure his little bro loves of all his heart. Even if Prosciutto is rude with him, he really likes him and maybe consider Pesci as his “aniki”, like Pesci likes to call him. 

poor boy is always teased by Formaggio, Illuso or Melone... The 3 of them are terrible together! He’s always teased by the squad! One time, Sorbet and Gelato made him believe that you were kidnapped by a sort of ghost in the middle of the night. Melone and Illuso scared him so much while you were sleeping peacefully in Formaggio’s pocket.

Illuso:

this pretty boy is always teasing you: he’s one of the tallest member of the la squadra, it’s easy for him to tease you. Poke at your cheeks, put his arms on your head, carry you on his arms suddenly and makes you come closer of his chest. He can feel the blush on your face when his hands go down near to your butt. 

he might be a pretty bastard rat who always teasing you all over the day, he has weakness. If he returns at home by a tiring and long day, make him lay on your lap when you caress his hair and pull gently one of his ponytail. He’ll become a putty in few seconds. His cheeks become pink and his face seems to relax. Even if in the first look he seems to be cocky and kinda mean, he’s a real sweetheart in reality!

when the home become too much noisy for him (when Ghiaccio returns at the house lol) he’ll go back into the mirror world and will just lay here. He’ll probably invite you to relax with him because this rat always needs attention from you. If it’s raining outside, there is a big chance for him to hugs you from behind and drag you into his world where he’ll cuddle you all the day.

man in the mirror loves you too! If you stay at the mirror world with him and Lulu is not here for few seconds, Man in the Mirror will look at you, if you’re not scared of him, he’ll let you approch him for some cuddle. He absolutely LOVES to have his chin pat. Illuso can feel it and knows what happens when he feels so good and loved! What a sweet darling.

Melone:

ooh sweet melon boy. When he sees you, be sure that he’ll be in his kneels only to hug, kiss or cary you in the seconds that follows that he sees you! Sometimes, he wears some lipstick only to leave some marks on your face and body. He loves to see you covers with, it means that how much he cares and loves you!

surprising, baby face likes you too! The first time he saw you, he spread his tiny arms in the air and wanted you to carry him. Melone was on the ground, screaming how much you were cute and how much you could be a great mother. Aaaw melon daddy loves you so muuuch!

he’s such a diva. One time, he saw a spider and he cried so much. He said that one time, a spider bites his pretty face and he said that he was “disfigured”.  he doesn’t eat well, sometimes, he forgot or didn’t want to eat so you had to force him. The only to make him eat is to make him sit on your laps and give him food while his stomach explodes. 

sometimes, he takes your clothes and wears them for a long long time. He likes to see your cute expression when you see him with these clothes. He’ll lay on you, his face on your chest and will cuddle you for the day. If you pat his hair, he can fall asleep in your arms. Kiss his face while he’ll wake up, so sweet little angel.

Ghiaccio:

oh boy tiny angry gremlin. If he has the time, he’ll take you in the evening to go to a skating rink. He’ll try to teach you how to stand and move, it will be hard for him because ice skating is very difficult lol. He’ll put your hands in his and will try to make you move before you fall on his chest. he was so red ihih.

in his bedroom, you can find gifts that you give him and you remember that he said he hates them. Why do you sleep with the penguin plush Ghiaccio? And the cute t-shirt you wear when you sleep? Ah! And the cute selfies you send him that he doesn’t like them, why are they in your phone? He’ll so red when he heard that lol.

he’s the favorite target of Illuso’s prank. His screams are so shrill and the face he’s making is so funny! Melone recors the scene ans send you, Ghiaccio sulks to you for a few hours before you scratch behind his ears and chin to calm him down. He’s so angry again because this time, Gelato recors everything and the video is in the tv for 3 hours now.

he’s very cute when he laughs. It’s very rare to see him smile or something like that but when you catch him smile, he’ll be reddening as hell. Stop teasing him! And have you sleep when he sleeps??? He’s so cute when he drools a little, his eyebrows looks so relaxed and he looks so peaceful! Aaaw, cute kitty.

Sorbet and Gelato:

daddies are teasing you all the time: you’re walking, will put hands on your hips or butt; you’re sleeping, in the morning you’ll awake with bites and hickeys all over your neck and body. Gelato absolutely loves to leave bites and blood trail in your neck when he bites you hard with his tiny fangs. Sorbet likes to leaves so bruises and nails trail too when he kiss you. 

When you are walking in the street, be sure that they will teasing you again. If there are a lot of people in the town, be sure that they be able to ran away from you and hide. They will show themselves when you panic a little too much or if you begin to cry a little. Sorbet doesn’t really care but Gelato will cary you in his arms while kissing you.

Sorbet is the best cooker of the two of yours. While Gelato can make the kitchen burn, Sorbet can cook the granny style cooking. It’s better when he’ll try to steal your food outside of your mouth. Eeew he’s strange but you love him.

gelato is the best cuddler. Will put you on his laps and kiss you again and again and again. If you’re in your bed, he’ll take the whole place and Sorbet had to carry him on his stomach only to give you some rest. Gelato is like glue you carry all the day, you need some rest. They are not so cruel and mean with you, their tiny lovers.

[yunsangelic]

captaindboss’ Hottest NHL Players Survey Responses

I’m demonkonecny bc it’s halloween!!! Happy Halloween!!! Anyway I’m finally posting the results of my hottest players per team survey, (it’s closed now so u can’t take it anymore, sorry) which included ur fav ugly hots like jack eichel and connor mcdavid. Y’all had some colorful write-in responses for me, I included my favorites! Anyway, as not to clog dashes I put it under a read more. If you have questions about how I compiled this data or how I organized it, feel free to ask! Also some of y’all didn’t put an answer for like half the teams???? who raised you.

Montreal Canadians

Carey Price (55.02%--126 of 229 votes)

Jonathan Drouin (23.58%--54 of 229 votes)

Shea Weber (13.10%--30 of 229 votes)

Other* (8.30%--19 of 229 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“PK Subban...oh wait...Lars Eller... Oh wait...Drouin...oh wait...Alex Galchenyuk...oh wait shit fine Shea Weber”

“Everyone who has escaped”

“their ‘attitude problem’“

Boston Bruins

Brandon Carlo (30.26%--69(lol) of 228 votes)

Patrice Bergeron (Cause y’all would kill me if I didn’t put him) (29.82%--68 of 228 votes)

David Pastrnak (yum i lov carb) (25.88%--59 of 228 votes)

Other* (14.04%--32 of 228 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

[About Carlo] “He’s  a baby but also like has an ageless vampire quality which appeals to my ovaries, long conditioned by teen vampire novels”

“Brad Marchand's tongue (only the tongue)” [this ain’t it chief]

“I love my alien father tuukka rask” [r u ok]

Bonus, cause I’m weak:

“no one THINKS pasta is hot COME ON i hate us” [it’s okay, he is VERY hot, that’s why I put him lmao]

“Zdeno chara babey” [R U OK]

Bl*ckh*wks

Girl as if (44.80%--99 of 221 votes) 

Jonathan Toews (22.62%--50 of 221 votes)

If you put pk*ne here i’ll come to your house and murder you*^/other (17.65%--39 of 221 votes)

hahahahaHAHAHA (14.93%--33 of 221 votes)

*= tie between Nick Schmaltz and John Hayden.

^= 3 people want me to come to their houses and murder them, unfortunately it’s still illegal to do so, therefore I will not be doing that.

Write-ins

“toews player portrait makes him look like a human condom”

“i live in chicago and am willing to take 1 for the team and take out k*ne” 

“Bitch you funny but also Alex Debrincat”

New York Rangers

Brady Skjei (46.32%--107 of 231 votes)

Henrik Lundqvist duh (31.17%--72 of 231 votes)

Brett Howden is the right answer despite not being on the roster yet^ (11.69% (lol)--27 of 231 votes)

Other* (10.82%--25 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

^= funny enough, like 2 days after I made this Brett made the final cut lmao.

Write-ins

“Chris Kreider (have you seen the golf pic???) [LMFAO yeah I have (it’s probably too NSFW if ur in public fyi if u wanna google it)]

“i'm horny for like half the gd rangers roster!!!!” [lol girl I know, y’all actually have a few cuties I was a lil shocked]

“this is a hot team too bad they suck”

Toronto Maple Leafs

Y’all are demons okay Nikita Zaitsev is a fuckin gem idk why I was surprised about this but I was lmao.

Other* (39.37%--87 of 221 votes) [just know that I hate u all :/]

William Nylander (25.79%--57 of 221 votes)

Nazem Kadri (24.89%--55 of 221 votes)

Nikita Zaitsev (9.95%--22 of 221 votes)

*= Freddie Andersen. 

Write-ins

“william nylander isn't a leaf, firstable, and second it's motch murner” [sjdhkdlsjdj everything about this]

“i'm putting rich clune even tho he's on the marlies. SOMETIMES HE COMES UP. he could benchpress ever leaf on the roster.” [ur valid, when u sent this I was like “FUCK they’re right.”]

“None they look like 25 year olds who smoke crack in the parking lot” [this is low-key mean but I still laughed, cause yeah, white dudes. But I’m not condoning drug abuse or jokes about drug abuse, as this person had no intention of doing, I’m sure. Just wanted to put that because I know some people might be concerned.]

Bonus, again, weak:

"Jxhn Txvxrxs” [jhkhfoij why did u censor his name sis??]

“nobody’s attractive on the leafs” [this isn’t true but I’m petty and it’s funny.]

Detroit Red Wings

I was so fucking offended by some of the dylan larkin SLANDER up in these write-ins, y’all can come to my house and fight me thx.

Dylan Larkin (48.23%--109 of 226 votes)

Henrik Zetterberg (im crying) (31.42%--71(CRYING) of 226 votes)

Other* (11.95%--27 of 226 votes)

Andreas Athanasiou (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= 12 votes for “No one/Not Dylan Larkin” (yall r annoying lmfao), 10 votes for Filip Zadina (he’s a CHILD how dare u)

Write-Ins

“Luke glen denting is hot look at his arms and he’s not too old for ME” [girl when I tell u this shit killed me, I mean I SQUAWKED a laugh out and sent it to the fps gc, I was DEAD] 

“I don't know what any of the red wings look like and it's probably better that way” [????????????????]

“ion know anyone on the wings except zadina and he scored a gwg against the bruins yesterday so my answer for this one is none 😤😤” [(this was in reference to a pre-season game) lmao sis yall are okay. it was yalls babies against our roster players, I would have offed myself had the outcome been any different lmao]

Bonus

“Does anyone actually play for the red wings” [no]

“filip "thot" zadina” [don’t....]

Los Angeles Kings

The only right answer is Alec Martinez (41.56%--96 of 231 votes)

Adrian Kempe (38.10%--88 of 231 votes)

Anze Kopitar (12.12%--28 of 231 votes)

Other* (8.23%--19 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“jeff carter would snort a line of coke with gritty” [uhhhhh WHAT]

“uhh wayne gretzky...” [jvfluhddsf sis...]

“I couldn't name anyone on this team if you PAID ME” [fjldfdhfh god I wish that were me, sorry annie u know I joke....]

Philadelphia Flyers

Claude Giroux (44.78%--103 of 230 votes)

Travis Konecny (HAHAHAHAHA that’s my ugly hot gremlin) (24.78%--57 of 230 votes

Other* (22.17%--51 of 230 votes

Wayne Simmonds (8.26%--19 of 230 votes)

*= Nolan Patrick is apparently who y’all think is the 3rd hottest flyer, even tho he Looks Like That rn lmao. fuckin’ lettuce head.

Write-ins

“Gritty's googly eyes are the windows to the soul”

“andrea helfrich” [ur right]

“tk, because country boy i LOVE you 😛”

Bonus

“hey don't make threats abt gritty like that” [I put “if you put gritty i’ll block you”]

“My hellspawn son [Gritty,] is beautiful can’t believe Voracek and G had a son tho” [HDKUHEDKJFHD BITCH]

Pittsburgh Penguins :(

Kris Letang (55.17%--128 of 232 votes)

Other* (19.40%--45 of 232 votes)

Not Sidney Crosby [this is the option for Sidney Crosby] (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Tristan Jarry (8.62%--20 of 232 votes

*= different variations of “none” won but only by one vote, the person right behind was Jamie Oleksiak.

Write-ins

“the penguins roster came into my home and killed my entire family, but jamie oleksiak is 6'7" 255 lbs of A Man” [NDKFHSJRFDRBSKRFH valid]

“no penguin has ever been hot. As soon as they put on the jersey the hotness evaporates. Tragic.” [wow look at all that truth right there]

“as a heterosexual i chose letang, and as a flyers fan i choose the penguin mascot” [lmao girl letang is not the answer either]

St. Louis Blues

Colton Parayko (67.11%--151 of 225 votes)

Alex Pietrangelo (17.33%--39 of 225 votes)

Other* (8%--18 of 225 votes)

Ryan O’Reilly (7.56%--17 of 225 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“this [’other’] box shouldn’t exist there are no valid arguments against the angel colton parayko” [tru, but the blues have other hotties so I made the box to be fair to those of us who don’t like Big Blonde Sexies]

“uh valid i guess? idk any of the blues lmao” [LMAOOO I think they meant Vladdy, but “valid” cracked me up]

“ROR can lay me down” [ur so valid lmao]

Buffalo Sabres

Jeff Skinner (60.18%--136 of 226 votes)

Rasmus Ristolainen (17.26%--39 of 226 votes)

Other* (14.16%--32 of 226 votes)

Jack Eichel (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. [Y’all big mad that I put Skinner on here. HE’S HOT!]

Write-ins

“Idk but not these lmao” [*instert that gif of the kardashians like “DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE”*]

“Why is Jeff Skinner an option he looks 12″ [who else tho sis. I looked at the roster!]

“If anyone says eichel i will come to their house and steal their toothbrushes. Its conor sheary.” [I took my own survey and picked Eichs but I still have my toothbrush so I guess......... I’m right.]

Bonus:

“Rasmus Ristolainen kinda looks like a creepy half-alive Ken doll, but I'll stand by my choice. Hire an exorcist.” [JDFKHRFWEH GIRL]

“They lost their only cute player when O’Reilly got traded sorry” [boom. roasted]

Vancouver Canucks

Brock Boeser (67.56%--152 of 225 votes)

Other* (13.78%--31 of 225 votes)

Jake Virtanen (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

Ben Hutton (6.22%--14 of 225 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[about Jake Virtanen] all that ass...........” [sjdkfhdkfhdkhfi yeah]

“the city of vancouver” [?????????????????????]

“I keep forgetting that the canucks actually exist” [I’m reasonably sure this is annie lmfao]

Bonus

“I don’t know how any of this team looks either” [idk if I follow Nucks blogs or what but how do u not know Boeser???]

“i don't care enough about this team to even attempt to answer” [this is my brain @ me on the last 5 questions of an exam]

New York Islanders

Mat Barzal (67.69%--155 of 229 votes)

Tito Beauvillier (14.85%--34 of 229 votes)

Jordan Eberle (10.48%--24 of 229 votes)

Other* (6.99%--16 of 229 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“you say put full names but then u go and say tito??” [LISTEN I was tired at this point and forgot that I was trying to be at least a little bit professional about my thirst survey alright? yeesh]

“Its Matt Martin my dude” [LMAO u funny]

“idk how anyone pays attention to mat when tito is always there looking better barzal looks like every attractive jock ive ever met and i dont trust that”

Calgary Flames

Noah Hanifin (37.95%--85 of 224 votes)

Elias Lindholm (32.59%--73 of 224 votes)

Matthew Tkachuk (20.54%--46 of 224 votes)

Other* (8.93%--20 of 224 votes)

*= Sean Monahan wins 4th hottest.

Write-ins

“[Hanifin] looks like the bad guy in a teen movie. the guy the Main Girl is dating in the beginning but is a real dick to her. you look at him and you KNOW he has a trust fund and votes republican. god he's so hot though” [hanny......... yeah.... yeah....]

“Why do I find Tkachuk attractive? I don't know but I love him” [me too]

“James 'The Real Deal' Neal” [lol I got this answer multiple times]

Washington Capitals

Tom Wilson (31.33%--73 of 233 votes)

Andre Burakovsky (29.18--68 of 233 votes)

Braden Holtby (24.03%--56 of 233 votes)

Other* (15.45%--36 of 233 votes)

*= Michal Kempny and Nicklas Backstrom tied for fourth hottest.

Write-ins

“literally no one, i s2g if i see anyone say ovi is attractive..... jfc god help them” [.... but ovi is dad-hot, also he got 3 votes]

“YOUR STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS! Everyone btw just a hot team of hot ugly men and Tom Wilson” [kskdjskdjksks]

“my sweaty swedish sweetheart; Nicklas Backstrom” [I’m too illiterate to read this right the first time thru lol]

Colorado Avalanche

Gabe Landeskog ( 55.95%--127 of 227 votes)

Other* (22.47%--51 of 227 votes)

Erik “Horsegirl” Johnson (14.1%--32 of 227 votes)

Mikko Rantanen (7.49%--17 of 227 votes)

*= Tyson Barrie won by more than double of all the other write-ins, but honorable mentions go to Nate MacK, Colin Wilson, Tyson Jost, Phillip Grubauer, and The Avs Tumblr People.

Write-ins - I (jokingly) got called bitch so much in these write-ins, y’all feel some type of WAY about this team lmfao.

“but also the tysons. i would buy a whole farm just so those boys could plow me into the ground.” [i’m SCREECHING. this killed me lol]

“only attractive b/c of his proximity to horses? maybe so.” [.... girl what]

Okay, so instead of a third quote, cause I couldn’t pick, I’m gonna put all the other funny EJ comments I was contemplating:

“ej is soooo ugly in the hottest way possible”

“erik "big horny" johnson”

“oh my god Ej was included for once I'm weeping tears of joy”

“What that mouth do EJ?”

New Jersey Devils

Miles Wood (36.12%--82 of 227 votes)

Taylor Hall (33.48%--76 of 227 votes)

Brian Boyle (19.82%--45 of 227 votes)

Other* (10.57%--24 of 227 votes)

*= Nico Hischier with the majority of the write-ins, even tho he’s still a CHILD (under 20).

Write-ins, aka Mostly Taylor Hall Commentary.

“Does Michael McLeod count” [YES girl i love that boy]

“Gucciiiiiii”

“DSL GUCCI”

“Nico Hischier (Taylor Hall I still love you)”

“i chose taylor and i don’t even need a gucci purse”

“If Taylor Hall gave me a Gucci purse I'd vote for him”

“catch me w/ a gucci purse, girl!!!! for real tho miles wood”

Dallas Stars

DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to Katie, she’s fab and I made this survey a month or so ago. If you don’t know what I mean by this--do not ask me, I will delete the message. Thank you!

Tyler Seguin (46.96%--108 of 230 votes)

Katie Hoaldridge (im gay) (35.22%--81 of 230 votes)

Other* (13.91%--32 of 230 votes)

Stephen Johns (3.91%--9 of 230 votes)

*= Jamie Benn.

Write-ins

“tyler seguin has no upper lip” [I screamed, not exaggerating]

“You have to choose [Seguin] but I do so under duress”

“Im gay too” [hell yeah, this is a mlm and wlw friendly survey!]

Edmonton Oilers

Jujhar Khaira (28.57%--64 of 224 votes)

Other* (27.68%--62 of 224 votes)

Contract McMoney (he is hot) (25.89%--58 of 224 votes)

Darnell Nurse (17.86%--40 of 224 votes)

*= Leon Draisaitl won by more than 5 times anyone elses write-in lmao.

Write-ins ft. “The Draisaitl Quotes”

“McMoney’s money- just his money” [lmao ok sammie, HE’S HOT!]

“cannot mcwingames went off in the gq shoot i admit” [*annie voice* OHMYGOD]

“He’s [Khaira] like a romance novel cover like, f me” [tru]

Drai Quotes

“Drai but like lucic cause Momma needs a man that could kill me” [HDGFDHDGFHDH]

“leon dreisetl (is that his name, is this how you spell it?)”

“Leon Draisaitl and his contract that he doesn't deserve” [backhanded compliment lmao]

“the one w the longass name. dry saitl or whatever” [girl. lmfao]

Winnipeg Jets

Jets/laine fans are funny so I’m adding all the funniest ones instead of just 3 or 5. Sorryyyyyy I’m here to entertain.

Blake Wheeler (44.04%--96 of 218 votes)

Mathieu Perreault (but specifically in his newest headshot) (21.56%--47 of 218 votes)

Other* (19.27%--42 of 218 votes)

Connor Hellebuyck (15.14%--33 of 218 votes)

*= Patrik Laine, even tho I said NOT TO, demons.

Write-ins

“Their logo so I can fly away from this stupid team”

“Nobody but I just needed to point out Connor Hellebuyck looks like a stage magician and that is Not Hot” [i respectfully disagree with the last bit but the first parts made me snort]

“I don't know who windy pegg is”

“Boeing 747″ [sjdjsljlshgdu]

“they’re all second to jacob trouba’s dog Donnie”

“Patty Laine, but like, without the demon beard”

“Let me live my life! Laine has a good voice and i have a LANGUAGE KINK!”

“Laine WITH the beard because I don't fear death”

“Sorry, Laine but only with his beard” [I love the halfhearted apology]

“Goatboi”

“ALL HAIL THE GOAT DEVIL”

“laine come at me bitch lol” [denny’s parking lot. 3 am. be there.]

“laine looks like a goat”

“Laine’s Beard”

“LAINE I like the beard but hockey Satan is good to hellebuyck” [I really felt like I was tripping balls while reading all these but, ESPECIALLY this one lmfao]

Arizona Coyotes

Oliver Ekman-Larsson (30.32%--67 of 221 votes)

Jakob Chychrun (28.05%--62 of 221 votes)

Dylan Strome (26.24%--58 of 221 votes)

Other* (15.38%--34 of 221 votes)

*= Alex Galchenyuk, with the majority of the votes.

Write-ins

“pls date me Chych” [annie, that’s my BF!]

“ 🐼 there is no raccoon emoji >:(”

“[Chychrun] [a]lso has a vampire quality but like trust fund baby vampire who has no morals. I’m...into it??” 

Honorable mentions: The 2 people who put Biz lmaoooo I love yall.

Carolina Hurricanes

Andrei Svechnikov [he’s a baby but I didn’t know who elseeee] (38.29%--85 of 222 votes)

Haydn Fleury (35.59%--79 of 222 votes)

Other* (15.77%--35 of 222 votes)

Dougie Hamilton (10.36%--23 of 222 votes)

*= Sebastian Aho wins the write-in vote [he ain’t it!]

Write-ins

“Justin Faulk (I’m old so svechnikov is out)” [ugh ur right I didn’t make this more inclusive to people not my age, i’m (genuinely) sorry!!!]

“Formerly Eric ‘the hottest Staal' Staal” [only on the cane’s write-in would I have this happen...]

“[Jordan] staal terrifies me but that's hot” [true!]

San Jose Sharks

Erik Karlsson (70.04%--159 of 227 votes)

Martin Jones (17.62%-- 40 of 227 votes)

Other* (11.01%--25 of 227 votes)

Justin Braun (idk) (1.32%--3 of 227 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“Daddy shark (doo doo doo)” [just so yall know this is, of course, annie, as in anzekopistar, an actual demon, she’s talking about Erik Karlsson :)]

“Brent Burns, you know im right” [are you tho?]

“Okay sometimes I have needs I think Joe Thorton sans beard could fill” [this is why joe shaved. he felt this person in the universe wanting him to, so he did, wow thank u joe]

Ottawa Senators (lol)

Matt Duchene (33.63%--75 of 223 votes)

The entire team (cause they’re a dumpster fire) (30.94%-- 69 [it’s that tkachuk fuckboi energy] of 223 votes)

Other (there are none)* (22.87%--51 of 223 votes)

Spartacat (12.56%--28 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results (because a lot of you took my “there are none” joke a little too seriously and just chose that, no write-in lmao)

Write-ins

“[about Duchene] he's traitorous but it's like that sometimes i guess” [sjdhdjfhkdhf girl it’s okay.]

“.... we're a team“ [i-]

“the senator on their jerseys is p cute ig”

Bonus:

“oh so spartacat is an option but not gritty huh” [LISTEN the flyers are a HOT team, the sens are NOT. that’s why lmao]

“Just based on headshots I’m going with Ben Sexton like also how do you go wrong with that name”

Tampa Bay Lightning

Brayden Point (55.25%--121 of 219 votes)

Other* (22.83%--50 of 219 votes)

Mitchell Stephens (11.87%--26 of 219 votes)

Steve Yzerman (10.05%--22 of 219 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. Although there were a lot of responses none of them added up significantly sooo....

 Write-ins

“am i the only one who thinks stevie y was a bit of a twink when he was younger?” [jdhslihdalskdjefh]

“Worst team in the league i hate them and theyre all hideous” [u sure bout that, bud?]

“Stamkos (I love his tiny eyes)” [????]

Florida Panthers

 Aaron Ekblad (71.75%--160 of 223 votes)

Aleksander Barkov [r yall ok???] (11.66%--26 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.31%--23 of 223 votes)

Vincent Trocheck (6.28%--14 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“who are the panthers” [sometimes a team is a dog captain, a(n extremely hot) 27-year-old lawyer, and not owen tippett because the panthers hate me specifically]

“Roberto Luongo during Parkland speech” [... valid]

“barkov is literally the only player i know on this team” [shey would be happy to teach u about the panthers!]

Anaheim Ducks

Adam Henrique (52.47%--117 of 223 votes)

No one else (29.6%--66 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.76%--24 of 223 votes)

John Gibson (7.17%--16 of 223 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins-Ducks fans don’t @ me but i’m pretty sure half of these were submitted by y’all anyways....

“if i look @ anyone on the ducks roster for more than 5 seconds i BLACK OUT” [KSHDGJDHSKH Adam tho....]

“Quack Quack go lay your eggs somewhere else you feathered FUCKS” [sjdjfhdjsksj]

“legal 2 say kesler?” [no. go to jail]

Bonus

“Henrique is fine I have no qualms about your selections” [thnk u]

“jared coreau!!! GOOGLE HIM i’m right” [I said this, and we’ve talked, but I need people to know that I, after seeing this, subsequently found out that the Wings didn’t sign coreau back this offszn lmao] 

Nashville Predators

Roman Josi (39.39%--91 of 231 votes)

PK Subban (37.66%--87 of 231 votes)

Kevin Fiala (13.42%--31 of 231 votes)

Other* (9.52%--22 of 231 votes)

*= Pekka Rinne for 4th hottest. [My mom loves him for his name lol. she says it’s “fun”]

Write-ins 

“pk wears cool hats. I like that in a man”

“I don't find any of them hot (Josi used too be hot and then I learned he was illiterate and now I feel nothing but pity towards him)” [GIRL]

“preds are also ugly. pk subban would be attractive if he werent a pred” [lmao. what’d they do to u ?]

Columbus Blue Jackets

Pierre-Luc Dubois (50.22%--113 of 225 votes)

Zach Werenski (20.44%--46 of 225 votes)

Josh Anderson (16.89%--38 of 225 votes)

Other* (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

*= Alex Wennberg is 4th hottest [lmao]

Write-ins

“Can I put werenskie and Anthony Duclair” [valid]

“Just to be clear CBJ is by far the hottest team exemplified by the fact that you left Seth Jones and Alexander Wenneberg off this list when they're like top 20 in hotness. Also Nick Foligino wins if we include looks and personality.” [I didn’t include them cause this is a mix of hot and ugly hot fam, the avs are 100% the hottest team in the NHL, and that’s coming from me, a Wings fan, destined to hate the Avs for my entire life. Also???? The hotter Foligno is def Marcus lmao]

“[About Werenski] only with the scar though otherwise seth jones” [GIRL scars don’t disappear??? WDYM only with the scar??? Are you a time traveler??? lmfaooo]

Minnesota Wild

J.T. Brown (46.46%--105 of 226 votes)

Other* (21.68%--49 of 226 votes)

Eric Staal (20.80%--47 of 226 votes)

Jason Zucker (11.06%--25 of 226 votes)

*= Charlie Coyle. Honorable mentions to Zach Parise and Matt Dumba.

Write-ins

“Charlie Coyle man! V hot, could kill you, gently waves at babies, 10/10″ [exactly my type! wow]

“ Not JT[,] Lexi is the hottest[,] Eric Staal from a few years ago is also hot” [I added commas to your thing cause.... girl it took me a sec to understand what u were tryna say. But also ur right it’s Lexi.]

“love a #wokebae jt” [yaaas]

FINALLY this legit took me like 10+ hours of work cause I had to transcribe all the info cohesively and then go thru all the responses lmao.

Vegas Golden Knights

William Karlsson (40.52%--94 of 232 votes)

Marc-Andre Fleury (30.60%--71 of 232 votes)

Max Pacioretty (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Other* (12.07%--28 of 232 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[Karlsson] because he looks like young Bill from Mamma Mia” [shfhdjdhf girl]

“fleury isn't hot you absolute monster” [???????? drink ur bitterness tea somewhere else pls]

“let's find out just how wild this boy is” [pftd dtduftdhjfgdjfghdjf]

Bonus/Honorable mentions:

The TWO people who put “colin miller’s eyelashes” lmfaoooo

Alrighty this is The End! If you’d like to see another survey by me let me know in my messages/ask!!! Also sorry for stealing de la Rose from u, habs fans