#he is standing right there and you know he is going to die

[alex-in-wonder1nd]

Such a beautiful and incredible art! **SPOILERS AHEAD**

Man, I’ll never forgive Whedon for that creepy, unnecessary episode in Buffy. If you know, you know. Like, can we all just agree to collectively erase it from existence? Even James (you know, Spike’s actor) couldn’t stand that scene. I get it’s a heavy topic and something that happens in real life, but it seriously felt like Whedon threw it in there just for shock value. It was so random and out of nowhere - it completely wrecked how I saw their relationship in an instant.

And here’s the thing: I actually like Spuffy. I know, weird, right? Sometimes I felt I was going bunkers. But their chemistry was insane, at first toxic but then sweet especially in the second half of the show when Spike had a soul and stepped up for Buffy. Like, he was literally there for her at the end of the world, even when her friends lost their minds and “ditched” her. Seriously, how do you just forget everything she did to save their lives? I understand they also helped several times but it is just stupid. She was out here fighting the apocalypse on the reg while all she wanted was to live a normal life. She didn’t have a chance. They could walk away at any time but she couldn’t, that’s what she felt. From the day the prophecy was given to the day she died she had no peace. Bloody hell, EVEN WHEN SHE DID DIE SHE WAS TAKEN OUT FROM HEAVEN.

So yeah, to keep enjoying Spuffy, I’ve decided that scene just doesn’t exist. Like, nope, didn’t happen. It’s the only way I can stomach their storyline. Ugh, just thinking about it gives me chills.

‘Til the end of the world — even if that happens to be tonight.’

Buffy and Spike knight au because I just really wanted to draw them in armour <3 I’m a bit nervous because it’s my first time posting my art on here but I’m trying to bite the bullet :) - (and post more of it in the future as well!)

(click on the image for higher res)

edit: thank you so so much for all the lovely comments and encouragement omg this is crazy <33

[cameronsprincess]

ᰔᩚ Day Five of Slutmas// Run, Rudolph, Run — R.C + J.M

You’ve always fantasized about being chased, hunted and used. Luckily for you, Rafe and JJ help bring the fantasy to life one snowy Christmas night.

CW: smut! 18+ only! CNC, dark!rafe, dark!jj, primal play, slight blood play, use of cuffs, choking, throat fucking, unprotected piv sex.

note: hiii! i just want to first off address, i marked this as consensual non consensual because reader did tell them she wanted this… though i don’t show the backstory of HOW they got here, she wants it even though she doesn’t voice it during this and will be “fighting” them, it’s all apart of her fantasy. secondly, thank you all for reading and supporting slutmas! i’ve had so much fun doing this, and hope to provide for y’all again next year! i hope everyone has had a merry christmas, and happy new year babies! mwah😚❤️

🎄❤️

“Sweetheart! We’re going to find you… Why don’t you just come out and play, huh?”

Rafe’s low voice echos through the silent hallway of his large house, sounding closer than he was moments ago. You press your back against the closet door, trying to steady your breathing, your heart thumping wildly in your chest. You wanted them to find you, just not too soon, it would ruin the fantasy, take away the fun of the chase.

The sound of footsteps thump loudly outside the door you’re behind, and you quickly slap your palm over your mouth.

“Where the fuck else could she be, Rafe? Your house is big, but not that fuckin’ big.” JJ says, annoyance lacing his tone.

Rafe slams his palm against the door, making you squeal behind your hand. “Fuck, I don’t kn- Wait… You hear that, Maybank?”

Shit. You gave yourself away.

“Yeah, sounds like it came from your room.”

Your heart rate slows, letting out a slow breath. They didn’t know you were in here. They didn’t…

Your thoughts die. A shrill scream escaping you when the door is ripped open, causing you to fall backward onto your ass, Rafe and JJ’s tall frames standing on either side of you.

A slow smile spreads across their lips, Rafe’s eyebrows rising as he tilts his head to the side. “Hi, sweetheart. Told ya we’d find you.”

Tears begin to fill your eyes, and you scramble backward, pushing yourself further into the closet. Fuck, this wasn’t smart.

You quickly jump to your feet, taking advantage of Rafe stepping further into the closet. You try and rush forward, your shoulder colliding with his firm chest, but it’s no use. He quickly grips at your upper arms, digging his nails into your skin, making you cry out.

Gripping a fistful of your hair, he yanks your head back, forcing your glossy, tear-filled eyes on his. “And where exactly do you think you’re goin’ sweetheart?”

Your lips part, letting out a silent scream as he uses the hold on your hair to pull your body flush into his. He dips his head down, running his nose up the side of your face and inhaling your scent.

“Your fear smells so fuckin’ sweet,” His tongue darts out, licking up the hot tears that spilled down your cheek. “Bet that pussy is soaked, ain’t it, sweetheart? Bet you’ll be so wet and tight when we fuck you… Use you like the fuckin’ slut you are…”

You fight against his hold, pushing your hands against his abdomen, feeling his abs flex underneath your fingers through his thin white t-shirt. He tightens the hold on your hair, his free hand making its way around your waist and holding you tightly against him. You feel his hard cock growing stiffer through the rough denim of his jeans, your clit pulsing with need as your nostrils flare, eyes narrowed into thin slits as you forcefully stare up at Rafe.

“The fight turns me on, baby.” He rasps.

And then he’s yanking you up off your feet, tossing you over his shoulder and exiting the closet. He passes JJ as he steps through the threshold and into the cold, dark hallway of Tannyhill, and you catch a glimpse of the blonde. His eyes match Rafe’s, bright blue, but right now, both of their pupils are blown, their eyes a sea of black as they think of all the things they can do to you.

Rafe walks you down the long hallway— JJ following closely behind, silent as he watches you kick, scream and fight— until he reaches the master bedroom. He kicks open the door, reaching the California King in two steps. He tosses you down onto the mattress, your tits bouncing from the impact of your back hitting the plush mattress.

JJ licks his lips, walking to stand on the other side of the mattress, staring down at you with a hungry look in his eye. He tilts his head to the side, leaning forward and pressing his palms into the mattress, his face mere inches from yours.

“Goddamn, princess. You put up one hell of a fight… Too bad for you, I love that shit. It turns me on.”

He inches closer, his lips ghosting across yours. He presses his lips to yours, but it’s short lived before you’re head butting into his nose. He pulls back, hissing in a breath and letting out unintelligible curses, his right hand cupping his nose.

“Fuck! Why the fuck did you do that?” He hisses, pulling his hand back and seeing it covered in his blood.

“Fuck. You.” You choke out, squeezing your eyes shut and falling back onto the mattress.

JJ is on you before you have time to take a breath, his legs straddling your hips, his left hand wrapped tightly around your throat, squeezing so tight you see stars. He pulls his right hand from his face again, looking at the blood that covers it before a wicked smile stretches across his lips.

“Rafe, help me out and pull this little bitches shirt off, yeah?”

Rafe chuckles, stepping around the mattress. He pulls out a pocket knife, flipping it open and bringing it to the collar of your shirt, cutting it straight down the middle. Your bare breasts come into view, nipples hardening as the cool air hits them.

JJ licks at his lips, pulling his bottom one between his teeth. He takes his right hand, smearing the blood that covers it across your chest, running it across your breasts, covering you in his blood. He groans, scooting himself up to straddle your stomach. He grips your cheeks in his bloody hand, covering your face in his blood as well, forcing your lips to part slightly. “Fuckin’ beautiful.” He rasps, squeezing at your cheeks harder.

JJ pushes off your face, climbing off of your body and roughly tugging your flared leggings down your thighs. He and Rafe share a look when they catch a glimpse of your baby pink lace thong, a small wet spot already forming in the middle.

Rafe begins fumbling with his belt, pulling it through the loops of his khakis and tossing it to the floor, the loud clank of metal hitting the floor has you wincing. JJ works his clothes off as well, both men stripping down to nothing but their boxers. You push up on the mattress, rolling to the side, hoping you can run again, but Rafe quickly grabs at your ankles, pulling you back up the mattress.

He tsks, pursing his lips as he shakes his head like he’s disappointed in you. “Stop trying to fuckin’ run, sweetheart. I promise… You’re gonna love what we give you.”

He snaps his head up, pinning JJ with a stare before he snaps his fingers. “Top drawer of my nightstand, there’s a pair of cuffs. Grab ‘em and cuff her wrists to the headboard, yeah?”

JJ gives a wicked grin, the dried blood covering his nose and upper lip making him look ten times more scary. But also, very fucking hot. He slowly turns, making his way to the nightstand and ripping open the top drawer. The unmistakable sound of metal clanking fills your ears as JJ pulls out the silver cuffs.

He holds them up, his eyebrows raised as he makes his way toward you again. You begin to kick and squirm again, Rafe’s hold on your ankles tightening. Your body thrashes and fights against the mattress, messing up the perfectly made bed. JJ aggressively wraps his hand around your throat again, his fingers digging into your sensitive skin as he squeezes tight.

“Stay fucking still.” He demands, and you swallow thickly.

JJ releases your throat, climbing onto your body once more, straddling your chest as he grips your right hand in his, bringing it up to the metal bars of the headboard, clicking the first cuff in place. He pulls the other cuff through the bars, the metal chain that separates both sides harshly clanging against the bars of the headboard. He finally grabs your left wrist, bringing it up and cuffing you in place.

Pulling back from the bars, he sits back, enjoying the way you pull against the cuffs. Loud screams and curses slip past your lips, falling on deaf ears.

Rafe climbs into the bed, joining you and JJ. You glance over JJ’s shoulder, watching as Rafe tightly grips his thick cock in his hand, stroking himself slowly, his eyes never leaving yours.

“‘M gonna have so much fun fucking that tight, sweet cunt of yours, sweetheart.”

Your hips buck, arousal pooling in your panties as you imagine Rafe’s fat cock stretching you, brutally pounding into you. Rafe releases his cock, bringing his hand down to your weeping slit, slowly running two fingers through your folds. He hums softly, reveling in the feel of your arousal coating his fingers.

He brings the two fingers to his lips, pushing them into his mouth and sucking your sweet taste off of them, mumbling out a low praise, “Mmm, pussy tastes so sweet.”

He pulls his fingers from his mouth, reaching down to fist his cock again. Your head falls back into the pillows, a small whimper escaping you as Rafe slowly runs the swollen tip of his dick through your folds.

JJ reaches through the slit in his boxers, pulling his own cock free, stroking himself and lightly tapping the head of his dick against your lips. Your lips part slightly, allowing JJ to slowly push the tip inside your mouth, laying his fat tip on your tongue.

JJ smiles, “Open up, pretty girl.”

You do as he says, opening your mouth wide enough to allow him to slip his heavy cock down your throat. He groans when you close your lips around him, your tongue flattening against the vein on the underside of his shaft.

Rafe continues to tease at your entrance, pushing the tip inside before pulling back out. JJ places his hands behind your head, lifting it slightly, giving him enough space to begin fucking himself roughly down your throat. You whimper and gag around JJ, a muffled and choked squeal pulled from your lips when Rafe finally rams himself fully inside, stretching you to the hilt.

Both men begin forcefully thrusting into you, shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body as they use you.

“Fuck, you’re so wet, sweetheart,” Rafe rasps, slowly pulling his cock out, slamming his hips forward again, pulling a muffled whine from you. “Love the way this pussy feels, squeezin’ my dick so tight.”

JJ’s hips slow, his cock buried deep down your throat. Drool spills past the corners of your lips, and JJ groans when you gag around him, tears spilling from your eyes. “Look so fuckin’ pretty when you’re full of cock, princess. Like a fuckin’ masterpiece.”

You whimper, your legs shaking and mind growing foggy from how full you are. Rafe and JJ both begin thrusting harshly into you again, using your body, nearing their releases. Your pussy clenches around Rafe’s cock, your clit pulsing as your orgasm threatens to burst.

“Mm, feel you squeezin’ ‘round me, sweetheart. Be a good girl and cum on my cock, yeah?”

Rafe’s hands grip at your hips, lifting your lower half up off the bed as he quickly pounds inside you, his dick pulsing and swelling. JJ picks up his pace as well, harshly fucking your throat. You yank at your cuffed wrists, the harsh metal digging into your sensitive skin. Both Rafe and JJ laugh at your attempts to get free.

“Stop fighting it, princess. ‘M so close, almost do— shiiit..” JJ rasps.

You feel JJ’s cock twitch in your mouth, a low grunt spilling past his lips as the hot ropes of his cum fill your mouth. He holds your head still, nose firmly pressed against his pelvis as he forces every last drop of cum down your throat. “That’s it.. Swallow my cum, princess.”

Rafe isn’t far behind, his thrusts growing sloppy before he shoves himself deep inside you, a pleasured moan escaping him as he fills your pussy with his cum.

JJ pulls himself from your mouth, rolling off your chest and onto the bed beside you, his chest heaving as he tries to calm his breathing. Rafe stays buried inside you, his body falling on top of yours, his lips placing soft kisses up the length of your neck.

Your breathing is rough and choppy, your wrists aching from the cuffs. You let out a soft whimper, your head rolling to the side and finding JJ’s eyes. “J… Cuffs..”

He chuckles, rolling onto his side and placing a kiss to your lips before grabbing the key off the top of the nightstand. He quickly undoes your wrists, allowing them to fall down by your sides. You pull them up to your chest, rubbing at the raw and sore skin before letting them fall to your sides again.

Rafe slowly pulls himself from inside you, rolling to lay on the opposite side of you. He and JJ both wrap their arms around you, both nuzzling their faces into your neck. You let out a content sigh, and whispering “Thank you, both. Merry Christmas.” before sleep claims the three of you.

🎄❤️

tagging some moots: @starkeysbabygirl @rafesthroatbaby @rafeyscurtainbangs @oceandriveab @starkeysprincess @httpsdrewstarkey @cherrygirlfriend @sarahsangelicdoll @nemesyaaa @rafesbabygirlx @bloodibambiidoll @cameronwillow

[revelboo]

I’m absolutely melting over Spinster snuggling his big ol face against their lil human. It’s soo cute and fluffy and I love it when full-size mechs still find ways to do affectionate things like that despite the size difference.

Sounds like the Scavengers have a rough job ahead of them going off that ending. Makes me wondered if Spinister comes back in a unconscious state, would our honorary scavenger try to do the face nuzzling back in a worried attempt to wake him up?

Oooh drama. Yes, please. Gotta get there, though. Shenanigans first

A Lifeless Ordinary Pt 12

Scavengers x Reader

• “Right there. Don’t move,” Crankcase says as Spinister obediently stands in the doorway to the bridge completely oblivious. Otherwise he’d probably be offended or attack as Crankcase rigs up a blaster pointing at his head and tapes it down to a console. “Okay, tiny. Anyone comes through that door that’s not us, you pull this trigger.” Hooking a servo around you to drag you closer when you shy away. “You don’t hear them out or ask who they are. You shoot first. Understand?”

• “Yeah,” you mumble as Spin lifts a hand and waves from his spot playing target. Aware of the way Crankcase and Krok are both staring at you like they don’t believe you’ll be able to do it. “I can do it.” No, you’re pretty sure you can’t. Even if someone comes in with a gun drawn on you, you’re not sure you can just shoot them in the face point blank. You’re not nearly cold blooded enough for that, but you force a smile anyway so they won’t worry. Because you can’t really beg not to be left alone, can’t admit that you’re scared.

• “It’s not a kind galaxy,” Krok says, watching you clasp your hands together, avoiding their optics. “And you’re very soft.” Too soft. Too gentle. Anxiously clicking at the device in his hand, he’s almost tempted to tell Fulcrum to stay with you even though they need him. Primus knows Misfire can’t hit anything, Spinister gets distracted with his own shadow, and Crankcase sometimes freezes. “You can’t be soft out here.” Because you won’t survive and they need you here with them. Looking after their own because they’re all they each have and you’re part of that.

• “Try not to find a stupid way to die,” Misfire adds, reaching to gently flip your hair into your face. Grinning when you scowl at him, but don’t offer the rude hand gesture. You’ve been very careful not to do that anymore, he’s noticed. No longer interested in them? Or just embarrassed now that they know it’s an offer?

• Worried, you watch them gather their gear which mostly seems to be a small armory’s worth of guns and leave you behind on the console with a blaster you’re not even sure you’re strong enough to pull the trigger on. Rubbing your hands against your arms, you walk toward the edge of the console to sit and nearly fall flat on your face. Something has you by the leg and you yelp when you slide into an awkward sit on your hip, leg and foot in the air. You’re stuck to the alien equivalent of duct tape, one corner of it having rolled slightly. Swearing you try to pull loose, the stuff not budging at all. Awkwardly pulling yourself up, you hiss as your shirt sleeve gets stuck. And panic claws at you as you think of glue traps. Of small animals getting stuck and suffocating themselves trying to get loose. “Spin! Krok! Misfire?” You scream.

• Returning to the ship a full rotation later, it’s a relief to see it intact. The ramp still closed. Fulcrum vents as he follows Misfire inside, almost walking into the other con when he stops suddenly. And starts laughing. Leaning to look, he grimaces and shoves past Misfire. Because you’re half naked, your lower covering stuck to the tape, your upper cover hooked around your neck, the sleeve also stuck and the ends of your hair caught in the tape so you’re bent over at an awkward looking angle. Hearing them, your head turns and you’re leaking, making a hitching sound that sobers Misfire immediately. Both of them coming over. “Shh, it’s okay. Primus. How do we get you loose without hurting you?” Fulcrum asks, servos ghosting over you as you sob.

• “Tiny!” Spinister roars as soon as he spots you, rushing to get at you only to be stopped by Crankcase and Krok seizing his arms. “Let go!” Straining to get free as he drags them toward you. You’re in pain, hurting. That noise you’re making twisting unpleasantly in his spark as Krok hooks an arm around his neck. “Calm down, if you try to yank them loose you’ll hurt them,” Krok snarls as he’s dragged by the much bigger mech.

• “Cut me loose, please,” you whimper, neck, back and legs aching from the position you’re trapped in. Hear Spin howling as he fights against the other two then a thump and swearing. You’d tried to tear your hair loose for hours, but only ended up making it worse. And now you can’t stop bawling like a baby. Sniffling as Misfire produces a blade and then hesitates, expression almost stricken. “I’m sorry,” he says and then he’s sawing at your hair, trying to not take off too much. Fulcrum catching you when you pull loose from your shirt and fall backwards, legs tingling with pins and needles. “Does it hurt?” Slumped in Fulcrum’s palm, you look up at Misfire and it takes a moment to figure out what he’s talking about, taken by surprise by how miserable he looks.

• “I don’t feel it when my hair is cut, hun,” you say, just lying there. And he puts the blade away, wanting to reach for you as his optics slide to the tape you’d gotten caught on. Realizing what would have happened if you’d kept struggling, if you’d panicked trying to get free. That you’d have died there and it shocks through him how ridiculously fragile you are. Reaching to tip your flushed face up, watching your eyes leak, he feathers his servos against you to feel the frantic pounding of your heart. “Where’s Spin?” You ask, voice ragged. Glancing back, he winces. Growling a warning when Fulcrum turns with you cupped in his hands so you can see Spinister sprawled on the floor when Krok or Crankcase had decked him to keep him from freaking out and accidentally making things worse. “Spin!”

Previous

[liveyun]

die with a smile | jjk

pairing. Jeon jungkook x fem/gn reader

genre. neighbours au, fluff, slice of life, light humor, slow-burn

rating. pg

warnings. late-night karaoke, mild annoyance, OC being conflicted and awkward, unspoken feelings, lots of staring at Jungkook (because who wouldn’t), implied military enlistment, OC lowkey simping (let’s be honest), “english isn’t my first language,” + not proofread, yearning . . .

wc. 1.7k +

🎧 die with a smile | bruno mars and lady gaga

The third night of incessant singing is where you finally draw the line.

You sit at your tiny kitchen table, surrounded by papers, half-drunk cups of tea, and the beginnings of a tension headache.

From the apartment next door, his voice—smooth, clear, and . . . warm — reaches you in a wave of melodies. He’s been singing for nearly two hours now, moving seamlessly from upbeat pop songs to heart-wrenching OSTs — with such ease and precision, you nearly feel both envy and frustration at how good he is and how he’s giving you his free performance at 3 AM.

You would’ve been impressed if you weren’t one sleepless night away from filing a formal complaint.

Your walls are thin. Your apartment is small. Every belt, falsetto, and perfectly sustained note crashes into your eardrums. You’ve stuffed pillows over your ears, slammed doors, and even loudly coughed against your shared wall, hoping he’d get the hint — but the man next door seems tireless . . . like a karaoke marathon champion who’s going to audition for the next survival show over some drinks at a restaurant.

Tonight’s song finishes with a flourish, and you hear a muffled sound of giggles — his own, perhaps — through the walls.

“Unbelievable,” you mutter under your breath, aggressively thumbing through your phone. Your irritation fuels you as you type up a complaint email for the building management, every sentence laced with righteous annoyance. You don’t think you’d care if they have any errors. You pause for a moment, fingers hovering over the send button.

“Maybe it’s just one of those guys. Moved in a month ago, right?” The voice of the kind old lady with her cute cat from the next block pops into your head. Earlier that day in the park, she’d casually informed you that your mysterious, musically obsessed neighbor was on a brief four-day vacation. “Poor boy — been serving his time in the army and just came to rest a little. He sings, you know. A real singer.”

You’d blinked at her words. “Wha. . . singer? Like… famous?”

The lady had shrugged. “Famous or not, his voice is beautiful.”

You remember standing frozen on the sidewalk, feeling guilt bubble in your chest.

That’s why you don’t send the complaint.

The clock reads 3:49 AM when the familiar, too-loud melody begins once again.

This time, you snap.

Throwing on your cardigan, you march to your front door and storm into the dimly lit hallway. Standing outside his apartment, your fist hovers above the door, second-guessing yourself for a beat. But then you hear him laughing — a soft, boyish laugh — and irritation wins out. You knock twice, firm and loud.

The door opens.

You’re unprepared for the man on the other side.

He’s wearing a black beanie, tugged low over his forehead, and an oversized black T-shirt that falls to his elbows. Tattoos trail like brushstrokes down his arm, stark and beautiful against his skin. His large eyes blink at you in surprise, framed by lashes so unfairly long they could sweep the floor. The corners of his lips lift into an easy, almost mischievous smile, deep dimples appearing like magic.

You falter.

This isn’t fair. Someone who sings like that should not also look like this. He looks. . . cute. Boyish. Innocent. But so undeniably attractive that you have to clear your throat because now you’re hyper aware that this man is nearly towering over you.

“Uh…” Your frustration stutters as you search for words. “Hi. I, uh—I live next door. And it’s 4 AM.”

“Yeah?” His voice, now spoken rather than sung, is just as soft and warm as you imagined. He tilts his head, curiosity dancing in his expression, his eyes wide like boba. “Something wrong?”

You blink at him, feeling ridiculous now that you’re standing here. “It’s just…your singing. It’s, um, loud.”

“Oh!” His eyes widen, and he steps back as though caught red-handed. “I didn’t realize. I’m so sorry.”

The immediate sincerity in his voice makes you feel like you’ve kicked a puppy.

“It’s fine,” you add quickly, backpedaling. “It’s just…the walls here are thin, and I’m not. . . uh, I’m not really used to it.”

His smile returns, shy. “I get it. I’ve been singing too much, huh? I just…” He scratches the back of his neck, sheepish now. “I haven’t had time to unwind in a while. Didn’t mean to bother you.”

His honesty throws you off balance. You glance past him into his apartment, catching a glimpse of his karaoke setup—a small mic stand surrounded by crumpled lyric sheets and snack wrappers. And a big. . . calculator. . . .? The space is much bigger than yours but still homely, lit warmly in contrast to the sterile hallway.

“You…you’re really good, though,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself.

He looks surprised for a moment, before the edges of his smile soften. You don’t even know this guy, but his smile seems genuine. Sincere. “Thanks. . . That means a lot.”

Silence stretches between you. You’re suddenly acutely aware of how he’s gazing at you — like he’s studying you just as much as you’re studying him.

“You know,” he says at last, teasing but gentle, “I could sing quieter if you have any requests.”

You snort involuntarily, the tension breaking. “I think I’d rather you not sing at all.”

He laughs at that—a full, bright laugh that tugs at something in your chest. “Fair enough.”

. . . ♡ 🐰 ♡ . . .

To your surprise, he sticks to his word.

That night, his singing drops to a near whisper. You can still hear it faintly through the walls — although, the song is more of a soft rock, but his voice is soothing. Sweet. Strangely, it doesn’t bother you anymore.

If anything, you find yourself listening a little too intently, sleep now long forgotten as you find yourself smiling so widely that your cheeks hurt.

I, I just woke up from a dream

Where you and I had to say goodbye

And I don't know what it all means

But since I survived, I realized

The next morning, as you head out for coffee, you bump into him again in the hallway.

This time, he’s wearing the same beanie and a plain hoodie, duffle bag slung over his shoulder. He grins when he sees you, lifting a hand in greeting, but his grin doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Oh,” you say, stopping in your tracks. “You’re leaving?”

And there it is—that faint smile, shy yet playful, tugging at the corner of his lips. Except this time, he’s fidgeting with it, thumb grazing the skin as though he’s used to something being there. A piercing, maybe. Did he have one before? You hadn’t asked but for some reason, the gesture makes him look a little younger, a little more uncertain.

“Yeah,” he says softly, adjusting the strap of his bag. “Heading back.”

His voice carries none of the energy that used to spill through the thin walls, none of the stubborn joy that once kept you awake at night.

And somehow, it bothers you more than the loud singing ever did.

You shift awkwardly, trying to think of something to say—anything that doesn’t sound as silly as it feels in your head. “That’s… soon. I mean, it’s only been a few days.”

He chuckles lightly, the sound soft and self-deprecating. “Time flies, huh?” His thumb is at his lip again, a nervous habit that seems almost out of place on someone like him. “Guess I didn’t get to bother you enough before I left.”

“I didn’t hate it,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself. Your voice falters, quieter now. “The . . . singing, I mean.”

He looks at you then, really looks at you, his dark eyes catching yours in a way that makes your breath hitch. You try to read them, but you can barely even look at them — thanks to his beanie pulled low.

“Well,” he says after a pause, his voice low and warm, “I’m glad to hear that.”

He nods — and turns slightly, as if to leave, and your chest tightens. You open your mouth — hesitate — and then, before you can think twice, the word slips out.

Wherever you go, that's where I’ll follow

Nobody's promised tomorrow

“Wait.”

He stops immediately, turning back almost instantly with a flicker of hope in his gaze, like he’d been waiting for you to say it. His eyes seem to sparkle, a boyish anticipation lighting his features, and you feel your stomach twist.

Your hands feel clammy as you extend one awkwardly. “Uhh, I— I never introduced myself. I’m ____.”

He stares at your outstretched hand for a moment before breaking into the kind of grin that crinkles the corners of his eyes. The kind of grin that could make you forget the world for a moment.

“Jungkook,” he says simply, taking your hand in his. His grip is warm, firm, and entirely too brief, but it leaves a strange warmth spreading through you. His hands are slightly rough - but they feel pleasant. “Hi again.”

You nod, feeling a little silly but unable to pull your gaze from his. For a second, your chest tightens with an inexplicable urge to step closer, to wrap your arms around him. . .

Wait. Where did that come from?

So I’ma love you every night like it's the last night

Like it's the last night

But before you can really think of what you’re thinking — he lets go of your hand, stepping back with another small smile.

“Well, I should go,” he says, voice soft but final. His grin lingers, playful but tinged with something else, something quieter. “Take care, ____.”

He turns, and then he’s really gone. Leaving you standing in the hallway with your hand still half-raised, the warmth of his touch lingering like a ghost against your skin, the muscle near your left eye twitching and a weird feeling wrapping around your chest.

When you finally retreat to your apartment, the silence feels impossibly loud.

You sink onto your couch, hugging a pillow to your chest, and wonder if his hand had felt as warm as yours had—or if it’s just your imagination playing tricks on you.

If the world was ending, I’d wanna be next to you

If the party was over and our time on Earth was through

I’d wanna hold you just for a while and die with a smile

If the world was ending, I’d wanna be next to you

[hotcupoteckla]

Do people not understand catharsis?

Do people not understand thought process displacement?

Are people not aware that readers used to actively seek out books that made you feel and think deeply about things as a form of brain exercise?

Like why, why do you think it is when you watch movies or books set way back in time that the characters who read are bullied by the hypermachismo holders and are called "sissies"?

Because books enabled readers to cry, and crying allows a person's emotional resiliency to build, and hyper machismo holders hate it when other people have emotional resilience, because they don't have it.

Sometimes a deeply saddening thing occurs so quickly you cannot process it, because if your brain processed it right in that moment, you would stop functioning as a living being.

So you feel numb, and go through the motions, until you're safer and you start to feel happier again.

Then you read a book about a character losing someone dear to them, or how they survived child abuse, and your brain unlocks at least part of your experience in your crying and expression of catharsis on behalf of the character.

You cry and things feel better, and you're not as likely to shutdown over a memory overwhelming you when you least expect it.

AND if you are so lucky as to have not encountered anything so heart-rendingly awful yet, YOUR BRAIN IS STILL HELPED.

It now has an example to compare to when you do encounter deeply traumatizing events, and can cite the book as an example of "they moved past this style of event, I believed it possible for them, I can do it too."

Like maybe the character had magic to help them, but usually - it's not the magic that gets you out of a bad situation.

It's working with a friend, or listening to good advice from someone knowledgeable.

It's helping someone in need as you see it happen, without any thought of it being returned.

It's stopping your distress and thinking of a solution with the resources you have at hand.

It's convincing your jailer that this is unjust for everyone.

The triumph in spite of bad things happening to us is the Part that builds resiliency, and that cannot happen without a whumph getting in the way.

Like sure, the authors can make it so your favorite character that is the stand in for who you desire to be doesn't die, but would it be as compelling to read without that risk of loss?

If it was just rainbows and sunshine all of the time for everyone, wouldn't you just be reading another "billionaires get everything they want" story?

Not every book is going to be for you.

Did I throw The Last Battle across the room after C.S. Lewis decided to kill off Susan's Entire Family (we're talking 20+ funerals from a train crash before their family reunion) and then Victim Blamed Her for Not Believing in Aslan anymore? You betcha.

Did I think that sucked? Yes..100%

Did it serve his story? ...as loathe as I am to admit it, yes, he wanted to drive home the Christian Allegory and make Susan out to be a pragmatic adult, but one who lost faith in the stories of their childhood. We're supposed to feel less sympathy for her as she turned into a snooty Karen like mother to her kids. Her kids were on the train, as was her husband.

So do I hate C.S. Lewis? No, but I know now that he's willing to sacrifice anything in his story to make a point about faith and Christianity.

And all the Blorbo-Defenders from upthread really need to read more books if they think the WORST thing you can do to a character or your readership is kill a character off.

Sometimes, the worst thing you can do to a character is leave them as the Lone Survivor.

And it's better to experience it in a book, to become a more resilient person. To have catharsis built into your escape.

im starting to think you guys dont like it when stories make you feel things

[planetpedri]

pls do something for pau based on d1e with a smile by bruno mars 💞

Die with a smile 𖦹 Pau Cubarsí !

summary. pau was dared to kiss you under the mistletoe, which, you’d agreed to for the sake of it all. but, maybe the kiss meant a little more to pau, and maybe, you as well.

word count. 1.56k+

disclaimers. fluff, confessions, just pure adorableness

bea speaks! merry christmas to those who celebrate, and to those who do not, i hope whatever you are doing today is special and you have a fantastic day <3

The casual night, where your friends group always celebrated your ‘friends-mas’, was going greatly. Laughter filled the room constantly — when you weren’t telling old sappy stories, that is. You’d played many trivia games and charades, which was your favorite.

The lights in the room were dimmed, mostly lit by the Christmas tree and fireplace to add a cozy feel to the room. It was the house of one of Pau’s teammates, Héctor. Which, you’d actually all helpend decorate with his mother along with a few of the girls.

As the group sat in the living room, and you were busy in the kitchen, making more hot coca, of course someone had suggested truth or dare—that’s when things got out of hand.

“You have to do it!” Your friend, Elisa, exclaimed, pointing in Pau’s direction.

“I don’t have to do anything.” Pau shot back, his head shaking as he laughed nervously.

When the boy’s head shook once more, Lamine intervened. “Don’t be boring, man.”

They’d all just dared him to kiss the next person to stand under the mistletoe—knowing deep down it’d be you, considering it was placed under the door that would be the one you’d have to walk through to get into the living room. Instigators, all of them.

In that moment, you’d begun to walk towards the room. To your misfortune, or possibly luck, you paused under the door, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion at the looks you were receiving.

Smirks, amused laughs, and a fidgeting Pau, had you—well, on edge. When your best friends eyes nervously flickered up above you, you leaned your head back, coming face to face with the green mistletoe.

Right.

“Come on, it’s tradition!” Alejandro spoke now, a taunting tone to his voice. “It’s no big deal!” He groans, nudging the boys arm.

Trying to ease the situation, you chuckle lightly. “If he’s too scared, I understand.”

The brunettes head snapped up at you, his eyebrows pulling together. “I’m not scared.” He said that, though the blush spreading across his cheeks told a much different story.

“Oh?” You nod, lips curled into a teasing smile. “Then get up. My arms are staring to hurt.” You lift the two mugs of coca in your hands, giving him a look that said, ‘just do it.’

His cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red but there was a flicker of determination in his eyes as he stood up, flattening his hoodie before making his way to you. The room fell silent, everyones eyes widening slightly.

Sure, they all knew you two liked each other, and that something happening between you two was inevitable. But, they hadn’t actually expected you to agree to it, much less for Pau to go ahead with it.

“Alright.” Pau sighed, stopping just inches away from you. “Only if you’re okay with it.” His heart beat quickened in his chest, but no matter how badly he did want to kiss you; he wasn’t going to do it if you felt pressured.

Your chest tightens at his sincerity, “I am,” you had to whisper, your brain short circuiting when his eyes flickered to your lips. Your grip tightened on the mugs in your hands when his tongue darted out to wet his lips.

“Good.” He murmured, hands lifting to gather your face in his hands before his head dipped, tilting to the side before his lips brushed against yours. The world fell away from the both of you as you became lost in the kiss. It was soft, warm, and though it was meant to be a short peck, neither of you pulled back right away.

When you did though, the room erupted into cheers and whistles, but you hardly noticed.

You laugh, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. “I really need to set these down.” You lift the mugs into his view, and the boy swallows hard, taking a step back.

“Yeah, you do that.”

The night seemed to carry on normally, but something had changed.

After the kiss, Pau returned to the couch, pretending to focus on the game as his friends teased his mercilessly. You’d tried to brush it off too, laughing at the jokes, diving back into the game. But every so often, your gaze would fall back onto Pau, meeting his eyes every time. You’d send him a small smile, to which he’d force one back before looking away with pink cheeks.

“Okay, what is happening between you two?” Elisa whispered, leaning into your side while everyone’s attention was on Lamine, since he was being asked the next question.

Turning to her, you let out a short laugh. “Nothing.” You insist, though your quickening heart beat and light pink cheeks was surely betraying you.

“Uh-huh.” Elisa smirked, “sure. Keep telling yourself that.”

As the night dragged on, the room began to thin out. People grabbed their coats and started trickling toward the door, the festive energy giving way to the quiet stillness of a snowy night. You grabbed your purse and jacket, joking with Elisa as she gathered her things. She was your ride home, so you chose to sit behind with her as she stuffed extra bags of cookies into her bag.

"Ready to head out?" she asked.

"Yeah, just a sec," you replied, glancing over your shoulder toward the living room. Pau was standing by the tree, pretending to busy himself with fixing a crooked ornament while Héctor babbled about something his friend clearly didn’t care to know about. But when your eyes met again, he motioned for you to wait.

You waved Elisa off with a promise to catch up and turned back to him. A small smile formed on your lips as you met him half way, leaning against the door frame as you waited.

“Hey.” He said softly, stepping and stopping only a foot away. The soft orange glow of the fireplace lit up the side of his face as he leaned against the wall beside you. His usual confidence giving way to a bit more vulnerable look. “Can we talk for a sec, before you go?”

“Of course!” You say, a bit too quickly—your heart beat skipping in your chest.

Pau glanced around, as if to make sure nobody was watching. Of course, Héctor was. The second Pau’s eyes landed on him though, the curly haired boy quickly looked away, busying himself by pretending to examine the tree’s lights. Rolling his eyes, Pau looks back to you.

“Uh, about earlier..” He scratches the back of his neck, letting out a short breath, “the mistletoe?”

You tilt your head and feigning nonchalance, “What about it? It was just a dare.. right?”

His eyes catch yours and he gives a nervous laugh, “yeah… no? I mean—no. No, it wasn’t.. not to me. Not really.”

You could either scream or faint. You weren’t sure what one to choose, honestly. Your breath catches in your throat and your head feels dizzy. “Uh—for sure. Or, wait. What do you mean?” You squeak out at the beginning, but force yourself to remain cool and collected.

Pau exhales, looking down at his intertwined hands for a moment before he meets your gaze again. He grips his hands together tightly as he speaks, “I.. I like you. A lot. And when I—“ he pauses, internally cringing at what was about to come out of his mouth, “when I kissed you, and you kissed back like that.. I thought maybe there was a chance you maybe possibly felt the same?”

By now, Pau’s hands were shaking and his words were scrambling together. He could hardly bring himself to look away, scared that if he did, the sweet smile slowly growing on your lips would just be a figment of his imagination.

The soft hum of Christmas music played in the background, the only thing breaking the silence between you two. “You could’ve said something before, y’know.” You tease, but your voice was quieter now, softer.

“Yeah, well,” Pau starts, his lips curving into a sheepish smile, “I didn’t want to ruin things. You’re my best friend, and I was scared it wouldn’t be reciprocated.”

Taking a brave step closer, your heart pounded in your chest as you spoke, “you don’t have to be scared.”

His eyes searched yours, hopeful, but still unsure. “So… does that mean..”

You smile, lifting a hand to straighten his collar and brush off fuzz from his shoulder. “It means… we’re under the mistletoe again, and I think you should stop overthinking.”

Pau’s breathing faltered, his gaze drifting above you two. The mistletoe. Right. He grins, his confidence gaining as he looks back to you before leaning in, his hand brushing against yours. This time, the kiss wasn’t part of a joke. It was real—soft and warm, and full of everything he’d been holding back.

When you pulled back, your lips still hovering near each others, Pau laughs quietly. “Merry Christmas.” He whispers, sparkling eyes finding yours.

You smiled back, feeling lighter than ever. “Merry Christmas, Pau.”

“About fucking time.” The annoyed grumble coming from Héctor snapped you both out of your trance—heads whipping in his direction with a glare. “Well!” He shot his hands up defensively.

When you eventually did leave—not that you wanted to anymore, your heart was full and you couldn’t stop smiling. Definitely the best Christmas gift you’d ever received.

likes, comments, reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in future posts.

���.ᐟ tags @halfwayhearted @lechrts @ar4ujos @sakashq @h4vertzz @unx100to @n0vazsq @ilovebarcaaa @jajajhaahaha @f1lover55 @spidybaby

[backinmyphase]

Gas station attendant! Reader x Biker! Gojo goes brrrr Oh and Merry Christmas!!

You liked working at the gas station.

Yeah sure, many people would laugh right into your face if they saw you standing there behind the counter, but you didn't really care. The people that came to the gas station didn't care who was giving them cigarettes or gas. Even on Christmas.

So when you were standing there leaning on the counter at 23 o'clock, you maybe didn't feel the Christmas spirit but you were at peace.

A sudden ring came from the door.

"Still on the go?" you knew who was stepping in before you looked up.

"Still working?" Biker! Gojo had a much too smug look in his face, but you didn't mind.

He was one of the only people who came into the gas station that you remembered. It wasn't hard, he had these mesmerizing eyes and white hair, everything about him screamed big presence. And you would be lying if you didn't find him attractive, but you would rather die than tell his big ego.

In the last months he had started to come every day. He was strange, but you still let him make small talk with you, even asked him about his day. And maybe you did wait for him to come through the door on every shift.

"Usual?" you were ready to type his order number into the counter as you glanced up at him.

He was still standing in the doorframe, the smirk still on his face. A tilt of his head made your knees a bit weak, but you kept your worker face on.

"Yeah, sure." he started to go up to the counter with steady and slow steps. His hands now in his pockets.

"Alright, new gas will be ready, no worries." you typed the rest in. "Anything else?"

"How long are you working?"

You looked up at him, blinking a couple of times. "Excuse me?"

His smirk grew as he looked down on you. "How long is your shift? When are you free?"

"In an hour, I guess." you didn't know why you even answered, usually you wouldn't give out that information. But in Gojo's case your curiosity won.

"Why?"

"Wanted to give my favorite gas station attendant a ride." he leaned a bit onto the counter. "Or are you busy?"

"I guess not-"

"Then let's go."

You looked up at his smug face again, raising an eyebrow at his suggestion. "Did you not hear me? I still have an hour to go."

"Come on." he placed his money on the counter, paying for his gas and giving you a very generous tip. "It's Christmas."

You liked working at the gas station. But maybe you could make an exception on Christmas.

[thequeenofcurses]

A Love Beyond Death

Reader x Gojo. Reader visits her husband!Gojo’s grave one year after his death and something magical spicy happens. mdni. word count: 3k. beware manga spoilers

December 24th, today

One year. It’s been a whole 365 days since the world was destroyed. Your world. Forever ruining the Christmas season. 

The early morning snow lightly covered the cemetery. The Gojo clan had reorganized a lot since Yuta Okkostu took over as clan leader. Knowing how much you meant to him, Yuta always allowed you to visit Satoru’s grave privately whenever you needed to.

You told that idiot to let you help him fight Sukuna. Every day since, you regret not being there. Maybe your technique could’ve helped him survive. Maybe you could’ve distracted Sukuna and given Satoru an opening. Maybe you could’ve sacrificed yourself for him. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe…

December 24th, 2018

“Babe, I know you’re a great sorcerer, but we both know I can’t go all out if you’re there” you remembered your husband’s voice to you as he was getting dressed. “I can’t risk you getting hurt. I need you to stay here. Stay safe.”

You pouted sadly, but nodded your understanding. “You better come back to me,” you demanded. “Satoru, I swear to God if you die…”

“Shh, shh, shh,” the tall white haired man pulled you into his chest and placed his head atop yours whilst rubbing your back. “Don’t worry about me, ‘kay? I’ll win. I always do.”

Even though you believed him, your eyes continued to flow with salty tears full of worry. “Satoru,” you whisper with a shaky breath. “I love you.”

He stands back a few inches, taking off his blindfold to look you directly in the eyes. “"Hey, don’t cry too much, alright? I don’t want people thinking I left you all heartbroken over me.” He gently cups your face and wipes your tears with his thumbs. “I love you.”

The kiss he gives is everything you need. He lifts your chin then connects his soft lips with your waiting ones. It was gentle, yet passionate, but it left you needing more. 

“Satoru, please.” You look up at him, your heart nervously beating through your chest. He could die today. The terrible thoughts flooded your mind. If this is our last time together, I want to show him how much I love him. “I need you. Please.”

Gojo hesitated for a moment, then smiled. “I know, baby.” He kisses you again then picks you up by your waist. You wrap your legs around him and he carries you to your shared bed, never breaking your kiss. He gently lays you down before crawling above you. “Show me.”

Even after a year of (secret) marriage, Gojo still makes you blush. You push the nervous butterflies in your stomach down and bite your lip. You kiss Gojo again quickly. “I love you.” He lets you flip him over to where you’re straddling his lap. Blindfold still off, his cerulean eyes watch you through snowy white lashes. “So much.” Your hands travel underneath the shirt he just put on, rubbing his taut chest. You quickly pull his shirt above his head, giving him another kiss thereafter. 

Gojo continues to watch you as your hands make their way down from his neck, down, down, down, to his waist. You tug at his pants with need, sliding them and his boxers off in one pull. “Now I’m all naked,” Gojo smirked at you. You giggle at his silly comment before kissing him once more. You use one hand to pull your shirt above your head while your other grips his length, precum already leaking out of it. “Mhhmp,” he groans. You worship his length. Kissing his cock up and down as he continues to get hard for you. You lean down into his lap to take him into your mouth, no hands, as you continue worshiping your husband’s perfect cock. 

With both hands free now, you pull down your shorts, and finally feel your own wetness. Straddling him again, Gojo slides his hands up your thighs. His left one stops at your pussy, while he holds you with his right. He gently rubs your clit with two fingers. “My girl is so wet for me,” he mused.

“Ahwh, ‘Toru” you moan. You gently rub his cockhead against your slick folds. “Need you, inside”.  

Gojo smirks and sits up a bit. “Show me how much you need me baby,” he breathes. 

Instead of responding with words you grip his length and line it up with your entrance. You ever so slowly sink down onto his cock. Slowly inch by inch, until your pussy is tickled by his pelvic hair. You both deeply gasp at the feeling. “‘M so full ‘Toru.” You throw your arms around his neck and start to move. A bit slow at first until you find a good rhythm. Quickly bouncing up and down. Up and down. 

“Ff-fuck princess,” Gojo groaned. “Riding me so good.” He kisses your neck, then trails down to your breasts. Left then right. Giving each one their deserved attention. He puts one of your hardened nipples into his mouth while his hands land back onto your waist, steadying you. You ride him fast, and hard, focused solely on his orgasm. “You’re so beautiful,” he says while giving your nipple a lighthearted bite. 

You throw your head back in pleasure, slowing down your vertical attack on his cock. “Satoruuu,” your moans echo throughout the room.  

“Legs getting tired baby?” Gojo jokes, noticing your pace slow down. The second you nod he effortlessly flips you onto your back and gets between your legs. “Let me take over doll.” He aligns himself at your entrance once again, then thrusts hard, filling you to the brim. The slap, slap, slapping of his balls bullying your clit as he gives you fast, hard thrusts mixed with both of your moans become a cacophony of sound. “I can’t get enough of you,” he admits. 

Each long thrust of his brings you both ever so closer to orgasm. “Gonna cum, ‘Toru” you admit. “C-can’t hold it.”

“Yeah, sweets?” Gojo turns your head up so you're forced to look directly into his eyes then places that hand on your throat while his other hand goes back to rubbing your clit. “Come on then, wife.” He thrusts hard with each word. “Cum. For. Me.”

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck, Satoru,” you gasped through a short breath. His ministrations paid off. Your legs start to inevitably shake as his thrusts bring you closer and closer. He leans forward, kissing you and looking directly into your eyes once more as you cum on his cock.

“I’m right here baby,” he says. His hair was disheveled, forehead was slick with sweat, as was the rest of his body; yet he still never looked more beautiful. “Princess, I’m cumming,” he slows down his murder of your pussy, but doesn’t pull out completely; filling your cunt to the brim with his seed.

He releases his hold on your neck and gives you a deep loving kiss. As you both come down from your high. “You okay, doll?” He begrudgingly pulls out you.

“Yes, ‘Toru. I’m okay.” you reassure him. You look up and see the light from the window molding into a series of oranges and pink, signaling sunrise. Your heart feels heavy and the worry fills your being once again. “I’m just worried–”

“Shh,” Gojo shushes you once again with his finger to your lips. “No worrying about me. C’mere.” He pulls you into a loving warm cuddle. He rubs the back of your head while he explains. “Not to toot my own horn but, I am the strongest. Besides, I have to come back to give you your Christmas gift.”

You believe him. So you both shower together, being intimate one more time. After showering, you help him get ready and he takes off his wedding ring and places it in your hands. “I need you too, y/n,” he kneels down. “And once all of this is over, we’ll have a proper wedding. No more of this secret shit. I wanna show you off to the world. Keep that safe for me, yeah?.” You can’t help, but smile.You pull him into one last hug.

Ring. Ring. Ring. You glance at Gojo’s phone on the bed and see the name. Iori Utahime . 

It’s time.

December 24th, today

“Liar,” you cried out. “You fucking promised.” Your hand was full of blue iris’. His favorite flower. They reminded you of his eyes. Oh God, those eyes. It was stressful for him to have them uncovered, so you didn’t see them too often. But when you did have those special romantic moments with your husband or sometimes during training, he would remove his glasses or blindfold. He mostly did it with you only, because he knew you loved looking into his eyes (plus he knew eye contact would always make you blush). “You damned liar.”

You kneeedl down to the headstone, wiping away the dusty snow that just started to appear, gently placing the flowers down.

Satoru Gojo

December 07, 1989 – December 24th, 2018

Beloved Son And Teacher

They couldn’t even put “loving husband” on his gravestone. With your marriage being secret, only a handful of people knew about your relationship. 

You had zero control of your tears. They flowed freely, running down your reddened cheeks. Fuck. The winter chill was making your nose run and your body shake, yet you remained in front of the grave. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you cried. “I wish I was there, I wish I could've saved you. I wish–” your shaky breath breaks. The wind lightly picks up, wisping your hair around your face. You sat there, telling Gojo about your year and everything that has happened since your last visit. You told him that you were proud of Yuta for taking over the clan. You informed him how you adopted a puppy because you were too lonely without him. You explained that you had hoped and prayed after his death that maybe his seed had land that you would still have a part of him, but alas, every pregnancy test you took back then was negative.

You even explained how much you hate Christmas and winter now because all of it reminds you of him.

You talked his ear off. Or the grave’s ear rather, if it had any. You promised Yuta you wouldn’t be here for too long since he mentioned wanting to come visit Satoru with Yuji and some of the other students. 

“I love you, ‘Toru.”

Standing up, you wiped the snow off your bottom and turned.

“I love you too.”

You turned your head back and forth, searching for the owner of the voice. It must be your head. I must be getting delusional. God, I miss him.

“y/n”

You whip around and do a 360° turn. “Who’s there?” The graveyard was eerily quiet and there were no signs of anyone else nearby. Yuta promised you’d have private time, so where could this voice be coming from.

“Princess,” Gojo whispered. 

Your heart fluttered hearing Gojo’s voice again. It had been so long. Wait, no. Satoru died a year ago. This is impossible… But apparently Suguru Geto had come back from death, maybe it was possible Satoru could too? No, no, no. That was someone’s technique. This is impossible.

“Sweets, I miss you.” Another whisper. Oh God. The only person on the planet who called you that was your husband. 

“Satoru?” you questioned quietly, still turning your head back and forth. Tears started to well up in your eyes again. “Fuck, I miss you so much.”

“It’s really me baby,” you felt a wispy feeling on your face, as if a hand was there; yet you couldn’t see him. “Please don’t cry for me, doll.” Your face leaned into the wisps’ palm. As if reading your mind, the wisp gently brushed the tears off your cheek. “I don’t know how this is possible, but I heard you… talking to me. And now I’m here. I don’t think we have much time though.”

Your heart sank down to your chest. Of course you wouldn’t be lucky enough to have him truly come back. Gojo sacrificed everything, everything, for the world, yet when he wants something that’ll make him happy, he can’t have it. Life truly is unfair. 

Not knowing how much time you had, you try to tell him the entirety of what you may have left out earlier when you were talking to his grave. The words come out like vomit, quickly, making sure he knows exactly how you feel and how much you need him.

As if God was finally giving Satoru something he wanted, the wisps near you form a very light blue cloudy silhouette of what seemed to be Gojo. Almost as if you were seeing his infinity. You still couldn’t see him fully, but at least you had some idea of where he was.

“Baby, I love hearing about all your little adventures.” The wispy silhouette pulled you into a hug. Somehow it’s filled with warmth. “God knows I’ve missed coming home to you.” You leaned into his chest and that’s when you felt it. 

You looked down, still not seeing any physical form of Gojo but his lower outline started to bulge out. “‘Toru is that…”

“Heh, sorry sweets,” he apologized. “I just haven’t touched you in so long.”

“Would it even be possible…?”

“We could try,” you could hear the smirk in his voice.

It stopped snowing, yet it was still very frigid. Gojo kissed you, slowly guiding you to his headstone. You unzip your coat and lay it on the ground, but keep your sweater on. “I want this, but I don’t want to freeze.”

“I promise, you won’t freeze.”

You nod, believing him somehow, even though he broke his last promise to you. Your sweater flies off of you just as quickly as he pulled your boots and pants off. The first kiss he gave you was filled with so much warmth and love and need.

“Last time, before I, y'know, died. We fucked and it was amazing, perfect even, but this time, I want to make love to you.” If you could see those blue eyes right now it would make you burst into tears again. “I love you so much, y/n. I’m sorry, I broke my promise.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured him with a kiss.”I love you too”.

For the next hour he made slow, sensual love to you, in every romantic position possible. Gojo made sure to take care of you. You felt him and his throbbing length while you rode him and he littered your body with warm kisses. He might’ve even left a hickey or two on your neck. 

Your first orgasm was when he had you in missionary while you pleaded for him to fuck you harder, faster. Of course he declined, wanting to keep this as a love making session until you were absolutely begging for it.

You came again when he had you laying in front of him, cuddling, and he had his arms wrapped around you. Never stopping his relentless pounding into your pussy. A perk to being dead is never running out of stamina.

And you came again, for the third time when he had fucked you hard into a mating press. Your legs above your head. You came again and again, while Gojo declared how much he loved you over and over.

“Princess?”

“Mhmm,” you babbled out.

“M’im gonna cum,” he gasped out. “Gonna fill you right up.” You don’t see it, but you feel him stuffing your cunt full of his cock and his cum. He pulled out of you, rubbing his cock up and down your pretty pussy. He caught some of the cum that leaked out of you with his cockhead and stuffed it back inside of you. “My beautiful girl.”

He cuddled with you for another moment, keeping you warm while you both watched the snowy clouds up above. “Baby, I think, it’s time for me to go.” Your heart fluttered. This was the moment you both knew was coming. You looked where you knew his eyes would be at. "I love you. Always. Take care of yourself, okay?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever move on from you,” you admit. “I just want to be with you”

“Baby…” Gojo’s voice is soft, barely a whisper. “Please, try. Live for me.” He ends his reasoning with a kiss. You shiver, his touch starting to become less and less warm. Whatever technique or spell that was keeping him here must be starting to wear off. He grabs your clothes and pulls you up, helping you get dressed. “After all, I know I’m the best,” he joked. “But you have to move on. Please? For me. I hate seeing you so lonely.” He pulled you into a final hug, his body becoming more cold and less tangible. 

You nod into his chest.

And then you feel nothing.

A six sided snowflake landed on your nose before melting instantly. A reminder for you to get back inside. 

Maybe the Christmas season won’t be so bad anymore.

EPILOGUE

Six Weeks Later

“It’s positive,” Shoko read the results. “You’re definitely pregnant.”

Your mouth was still agape. “But, but, that’s impossible.”

“Well the test isn't lying, y/n” Shoko said with a laugh. “Are you sure you didn’t get drunk around Christmas and have a one night stand?”

You thought back to six weeks ago. You tried to move on from Satoru, but none of the men you went on dates with truly interested you. And you definitely didn’t sleep with them. You remember visiting Gojo’s grave on his death anniversary and having a very vivid dream with him. But it was only a dream…

“Shoko…” you started. “Would you believe me if I told you I think this baby might be Satoru’s?”

A/N: My bad if this was too long. And sorry if this is cringe; this is literally the first time I’ve written a story with a smutty-type scene in years. In fact, it’s only the second one I’ve ever written, so I’m sorry if it’s awkward. 😭

Banner: @cafekitsune

[kuiilandtorch]

Actually, you know what, I've got something else to add to OP's meta other than my tags (which I'm throwing on here for posterity):

#the attachment luke gives in to is his fear for leia #which vader preys upon to provoke him to violence #(& it blew up in vader's mask because it worked TOO well) #the relationship that luke ultimately embraced that saved both his own soul & his father's was that of unconditional love #through that love he gave his father the choice to reclaim his own autonomy #& likewise accepted that he had to let him go at the end

there IS a thin line between "attachment" and "unconditional love" and it's expressed here in these two images:

In AOTC Padmé asks Anakin, "Are you allowed to love? I thought that was forbidden for a Jedi." And Anakin replies, "Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi's life. So you might say that we are encouraged to love."

The distinction here is that on the surface what Anakin is saying is 100% correct, but internally he's using this as justification for his personal obsession with Padmé. (Really, he's using it as the second dweebiest pick up line ever, only topped by the sand diatribe.) He's excusing himself while trying to have his cake and eat it too. He knows what the sacrificial Jedi lifestyle requires but doesn't want to give that up while retaining an attachment to Padmé. He may have a sympathetic backstory for why he does this, but it doesn't make it any less of a problem.

Then life comes full circle and Anakin's son is the one who embodies the very words he spoke over two decades earlier. Awakened from his haze of fury by the Emperor's goading, Luke chooses empathy and compassion over hatred when he refuses to kill his father and eloquently tells the Emperor to fuck off. When he lies dying under a barrage of Force lightning, Luke exercises his faith in his father's conscience by crying out to him, "Father, please! Help me!" He trusts that there's still something left inside of that man standing by to recognize that his child is in mortal danger and he should do the right thing - and Anakin finally does. Anakin is finally moved to choose one last selfless act.

Luke does make a herculean effort to try to physically save his father as well as spiritually, and it grieves him to the last moment that Anakin has to die, but hearing those parting words from his father - "You already have, Luke. You were right. You were right about me." - gives him the reassurance that letting Anakin go on his own terms is also the right thing to do. What matters most is that the goal he set out to do was achieved: he brought his father back from the darkness. He freed him from the prison of his own crimes and the abuser who helped lock him in there. So yes, OP, Luke IS The Jedi™ for having lived up to the standards his father once only paid lip service to and only grasped at the very end of his life. Compassion is indeed central to a Jedi's life, and the proper execution of it is exemplified by Luke's actions and victory in ROTJ.

"Luke Skywalker isn’t like the old Jedi. He saves Vader with his attachments!”

Wrong!

Luke Skywalker, at the end of Return of the Jedi, after his confrontation with the Emperor drags Darth Vader through the destructing Death Star. He’s desperate, knuckles white under the heavy weight of his father’s body, a little boy dragging his dad to safety. He sets Vader down for a moment, to catch his breath or maybe to get a better grip. He goes to grab Vader again, but Vader, uncomfortable and in pain, asks Luke to take off the mask. He wants to see Luke through his eyes instead of the eyes Palpatine built for him. Luke refuses, says that removing the mask is a sure way for Vader to die. Luke doesn’t want Vader dead, he wants Vader alive. Not to hold him accountable for his many evil acts, but for the same reason why Luke Skywalker can’t kill Darth Vader; Vader is his father and Luke loves him.

And yet, after a moment, Luke removes Vader’s mask. He doesn’t want to, he hesitates, but he removes the mask with enough slowness to allow Vader to take it back. In that moment, Luke sets aside his desire for Vader in his life, sets aside his desire to see him live, and sets aside his entire mission, the reason he was even on the Death Star in the place. In his compassion for his father, Luke stays with Vader until he dies. It is this moment where we see him be the best damn Jedi he can be. I’d even argue that this moment is the greatest example of non-attached love we see. Because Luke lets Vader go! He lets his father die, and in some ways, by removing the mask, he too kills Vader, he stays with him until his last moment, gives him the kindness of granting his last wish and finally chooses Vader.

And Luke doesn’t have to do this. If Luke Skywalker’s love for his father was an attachment, he would ignore Vader and continue dragging him to the escape pod, put his desire for a father as his central focus and ignore Vader’s wants and discomfort. Maybe he would even save him. But he doesn’t. Instead, he watches as Vader dies.

He builds a Jedi burial for his father and watches it burn the remnants of Vader and Anakin Skywalker away. He mourns Vader, he mourns what they could’ve had as father and son, considers what ifs and maybe-if-I-did-this. Vader/ Anakin is released from his mortal body, from his ‘crude matter’ and Luke lets him go. He says one final goodbye to Anakin. Then, he joins Leia, Han, Chewie, Lando, and the rest of the Rebels and celebrates their victory. He lives in the present and celebrates what he has instead of what he lost.

Luke Skywalker is THE Jedi. Everything about Luke Skywalker serves as the foundational cornerstone of the Jedi, everything about the Jedi as a culture and philosophy is reflected in his character. Luke’s desire for the New Jedi Order isn’t to throw away the values of the old Order, but to vitalise them, breathe life back into dying lungs, and rebuild a path that people set out on their way to destroy. (Yes, his Order is different from the Old, but that’s because it has to be. He doesn’t have the resources or the safety of the Old Order.) The philosophies of the Jedi are difficult and they aren’t for everyone, and like the perfect Jedi that Luke is, he struggles and stumbles and sometimes he even rejects it. But, no matter how far he falls, it is a way of life he chooses again and again and again. It is a way of life that welcomes him back each time

[enbyfvcker]

"Come back home."

𝙒𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙒𝙞𝙡𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙭 𝙇𝙤𝙜𝙖𝙣 (𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩!𝙬𝙤𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙚)

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 2k

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮/𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙩: a part two continuation from this from @psychohoneywhiskey because it rented a whole fucking condo in my head.

𝙏𝙖𝙜𝙨: Hurt/comfort, angst, fighting, fluff, kissing, happy ending, Wade needs a hug, Logan needs a hug.

Wade only got home when the sun was already rising. His suit was all torn up, and some wounds still healed from the fight he just had with some stubborn criminals.

He expected to see Logan sleeping on the couch, but he didn't.

Well, maybe he decided to sleep in his bed?

He walks to his bedroom with expectation but also finds it empty.

Actually, not entirely empty.

In his bed layed all the clothes Wade bought Logan folded. All the little thoughtful gifts he gave him. Everything that Wade got him to say through actions that he's wanted.

Looks like the message didn't land.

His heart tightens, tears welling in his eyes as he realizes that Logan left him.

Left after being willing to sacrifice himself for Wade. Left after making this crack house he lived in into a home. Left after letting Wade convince him to stay sober after decades. Left after stealing his way into Wade's heart, his life, his family.

And just like that, 𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴. Without nothing with him but his suit.

Honestly, Wade doesn't think he should be surprised for this. He knew it was going to happen. He knew Logan was just waiting for an opportunity to get rid of him. Who would ever put up with him? God, if he could escape from himself sometimes, he would. He tried many times, too.

So could he even blame him, really?

In that moment, all the words Logan spat at him in that Honda Odyssey at the middle of a god forsaken void came back into his mind. They have been constantly in the past weeks.

He did feel like a ridiculous sad joke. He wanted nothing more than to be able to die alone because at least it meant he would just 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺. That his attempts wouldn't just be self-harm anymore and that when he tried blowing himself up, he wouldn't just regenerate back.

He couldn't keep his job. Couldn't keep Vanessa. Couldn't keep Logan. If it weren't for Logan, he wouldn't be able to keep his fucking universe.

He'd never be an anchor being. He'd never make a difference or matter, so why would anyone stay?

He sobbed as he held one of Logan's shirts, burying his face into it and desperately trying to smell any remaining scent of him.

Mary Puppins walks in, her tongue out as she turns her head to the side, looking up at Wade with sad eyes.

"What's all that damn noise? Did you stub your toe again?" Al walks in wearing a sleeping robe and her sunglasses, apparently having awakened from Wade's ugly crying.

"Hey, Al..." Wade just sniffles, his voice broken as he just chooses to ignore her question.

"What happened?"

"Logan left..."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Guess I'm that insufferable that he couldn't stand spending another minute with me."

"He spent whole months with you, Wade."

"Sure, but did he even have a choice? I basically kidnapped him and threw him in a fucking new universe. I'm like an old creepy guy in a van. He was just waiting for a chance to run off. And he did."

"Come here, let's get you some tea." Al gestures for Wade to follow her to the kitchen, and he does, taking the shirt in his hands with him.

"Actually, I could use some cocaine right now. And you could use the cure for blindness to see how heartbroken I am for tea." He remarks, following behind her, dogpool following Wade. "Try not to break any cups this time."

Al puts sets a kettle in the stove and turns it on as Wade sits on a chair, all droopy and his eyes red.

"Did he take anything with him? Any money? Clothes? How do you know he won't just come back?"

"No, nothing. He must be wandering the streets like a lost puppy right now. And I just know."

"I think you boys are just too stupid to communicate properly. If you talked about this shit-"

"Oh, he talked plenty, believe me. He ran his mouth about how much of a joke I am."

"Oh, cut the self-loathing crap. That was before then. You two have been acting like an old married gay couple for the last months, don't give me that. You don't see the way he looks at you."

"Oh, and you do?!"

"I don't have to see it to know that guy would throw himself in the fire for you. If he ran off, then it's probably because the idiot read your sad little kitten act like a sign he's not welcomed."

"What-"

"Shut up. Now, if you don't grow a pair of balls for once and try to find him, I sweat to god-"

"I wouldn't even know where to look. And I doubt it he'd even want me to."

"So you better start right away. Go."

"What about my tea-"

"Go."

...

The last few days were rough. And that's saying something, considering all Logan went through in his universe.

He didn't have a place to stay anymore, so he just wandered around and got from bar to bar. He didn't have any cash on him, so he would flash his claws out to the barman as a threat when he was asked about his bill.

He felt like a goddamn monster, so why not act like it. He's not proud of it, but it's been months he didn't have a drink, and all he wanted was to drown the overwhelming feelings eating at him.

He got banned from multiple bars, always hopping to the next one. Getting drunk, getting in some fights, wandering around...

He felt like he was back in his universe. He felt so fucking stupid to think maybe he could change. That maybe here he could turn the page, start a new life with Wade.

Turns out the place it's not the problem, he's the fucking problem. He's a disease that destroys everything he touches, and he should know better than to try and have any connection with anyone.

He failed everyone. He failed the X-men by not being there. He failed Charles by going into a murderous spree. He failed Laura by not being the right guy. He failed Wade by being the complete jerk he is.

He wasn't sure how many days it had been since he left. He's smelling bad, and his hair is mess, but all he cares right now is finishing one more bottle. Then, one more, and one more, and...

He feels something - someone - poking him. Logan thinks it may be the barman or the manager, so he pulls his claws out. "Look, bub, I-"

"Heya, Peanut. Gosh, I'm getting deja-vu. Ain't ya?" Logan's eyes focus to see Wade standing next to him wearing his suit and mask, and his heart races quickly. "You're a hard one to find, honey badger. And I'm a mercenary, so-"

"The fuck are you doing here?"

"You know the answer to that."

"Save it, bub. I gave you an easy way out. You should have taken it."

"Come on, let's just talk-"

"Not in the fucking mood." Logan grumbles, suddenly feeling his chest too tight and like the walls were closing on him. He stumbles while getting off the chair and heading outside with heavy steps, hearing an angry voice behind the counter as he leaves without paying.

He walks out of the bar, rushing somewhere through the empty street, nightly darkness everywhere. Where? Where the fuck was he rushing to?

He hears a bell noise and other footsteps behind him.

"Fine! I get it, alright?! I'm the worst damn piece of crap that you could possibly be stuck with! You were right, ok? I'm everything you said I am. I'd run off, too." Wade shouts, his broken voice making Logan halt in his steps. "But at least let me return the favor of you saving my universe. Let me try and find you somewhere where you don't have to deal with me-"

"It was never about that." Logan grunts, his heart aching like it was about to break.

How could Wade possibly think it was about that?

"What?"

"I'm poison, bub." Logan sighs, finally turning around. "I destroy everything I touch. I hurt everyone around me, I hurt you. I don't deserve you taking me in. I don't deserve your affection or your family. I shouldn't have thought that there was more to my life than being the miserable monster I am and living with the consequences of my own actions. You got the worst you could possibly have, Wade. I'm just doing you the favor of retracting myself before I fuck everything up beyonde repair." Logan could feel his throat tight like a knot as he fought back stubborn tears.

Wade was stunned, silent for a few seconds before he took off his mask and gave Logan the most puppy dog eyes he ever saw, his eyes glossy with tears matching his own.

"You're an fucking idiot." Wade simply stated, a sad smile in his lips. "You're not a monster. And you're far from the worst I could have. I owe my whole world to you. I know you think I'm a joke, but I couldn't ask for a better-"

"I don't think you're a joke." He interrupted.

"But... in the Honda Odyssey, back at the void..." Wade replies, hearing a chuckle that held nothing but sadness.

Fuck. It never came to Logan's mind that what he said that day actually stuck to Wade. He is an idiot. Those words felt so distant, so different from what he felt now for the merc. After all those months they lived together, getting all domestic and shit. Wade crawled into his heart that had felt dead for years and got a space there.

"That was before, bub. I didn't even really know you, of course now I don't think that shit I said."

"But you did... Back then." Wade looks down, his voice low.

"I'm sorry..." Logan says, the words feeling foreign on his tongue. "You didn't deserve that. I was a jerk. I still am, but... You make me want to be better, bub. It's stupid, but... You kidnapping me was probably the best thing that ever happened to me in years, and I was just... so scared I fucked it up too, like everything else."

Wade chuckles, and his eyes brighten as he looks at Logan, his heart feels lighter at hearing those words.

"You didn't." Wade gets closer, his hand resting at Logan's shoulder. "You're wanted. Loved."

The care and gentleness in Wade's touch melts Logan, he leans closer too.

"Come back home."

Those words alone broke him.

For so long, he didn't have a home. How could he have ever taken this one for granted?

"Alright, bub."

It was like clockwork when their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss, them holding each other closely as if they both feared the other would disappear into thin air any second. It felt so natural. Their hearts were calm and frantic at the same time.

Suddenly, there were fireworks sounds and colorful lights surrounding them, and they could hear people chanting happily in the background.

𝘖𝘩.

So it was New Year's already.

They kept their lips together for a few seconds as fireworks popped and formed colorful patterns in the sky. When they pulled away, their eyes were filled with longing and pure affection.

"You're stinky." Wade comments with a smile even though he keeps Logan close. Logan chuckles.

"Yeah, sorry."

"Come on. Let's get you home and make you a nice warm bath, peanut. Blind Al and Mary Puppins are missing you." Wade says while putting his arms around Logan's waist as he guides him their way home.

"Just them?"

"No." Wade replies. "Not just them."

[smut-anarchy]

Own Me - Prologue

Summary: You accidentally broke a priceless relic and got caught. The Slytherin heir himself, Mattheo Riddle, makes it simple: you do what he says and no one finds out; the catch is, he owns you now and he'll do whatever he wants with your mind... and your body.

Tags: Dubious Consent, Dom!Mattheo, Gryffandor!Reader, Cursing, Blackmail (More Tags Later)

Rewritten As Of: 12/26/2024

Word Count: 1,917 Words

A/N: Years ago I watched Ouran High School Host Club (iykyk) and then this past weekend I finished the amazing @slytherinslut0 Beg For Me Series (seriously go read it) and I was totally inspired by the two, thus Own Me was born! I've never written smut before so be patient with me. All my love and I hope you enjoy! XOXO - Angel

This was such a stupid fucking way to die.

Okay, maybe you wouldn’t go that far. But as a Gryffindor, sneaking into the Slytherin common was still one of the worst things you could do, right along with standing under the Whomping Willow blindfolded or wandering into the nearby Acromantula den. Yet still, you were here, stupidly, because Daphne Greengrass had taken your wand. 

“Little mudblood lions who don’t know their place don’t get their wands. I think it’ll look great collecting dust in one of the Slytherin vases.”

Bitch. One could argue that prior to her theft of your wand you had been stoking the fires of her ire by callings her an “inbred wretch in pearls with the intelligence of a toadstool” though you’d found her more than deserving after catching her picking on a small group of second years. I mean seriously, what kind of asshole picks on a bunch of twelve year olds?

So now, here you were, sticking your face through every fucking vase in the Slytherin common room, desperately searching for your wand before any Slytherin happened upon you. Dinner in the great hall would only last another twenty minutes so if you didn’t find it in the next ten minutes your only options were to somehow hide from every Slytherin until everyone was asleep and search then or leave and tell Snape, and telling Snape meant house points deductions and surely some ridicule and detentions. Between the options of hell no and fuck no your panic was rising, making you feel jittery and unbearably stressed. Why the fuck does Slytherin have this many vases in their common room?! They don’t even have flowers! 

There was only one vase left, it had to be in there, unless Daphne was a liar, which wasn’t completely off the table either. Regrettably, it was the largest vase, towering a good foot above your head. It was jade green, with intricate gold details, and for whatever reason it seemed to give off an ominous feeling, as if it was watching you. With how tall the vase was you had no idea how you were going to get your wand out, but the clock was ticking and you only had about two minutes before you absolutely had to get out of there or risk being found. If my wand is in there I am going to hex the shit out of Daphne.

The vase sat between a bookcase and the fireplace, so as carefully as you could you used the bookshelves to leverage yourself up just enough to peek into the vase. And there, at the bottom of the vase was your wand. Climbing further up the shelves and using the stone mantle to support your body, you lowered your top half into the vase, stretching your arms in an attempt at reaching your wand. You were nowhere near being able to reach your wand, so you figured you could slip in further, grab your wand, and then use the fireplace and bookcase to pull yourself out. Good plan!

Using a small amount of force to propel your lower half from the book case you clumsily tumbled into the large vase, your body folding in half at the bottom of the vase. Unfortunately, due to your focus you neglected to hear the click of the common room door opening. 

Your body’s ungracious fall in the vase rocked it back and forth, swirling you and your wand at the bottom, before it tipped too far right and toppled to the ground, shattering it and releasing you and your wand. 

Your head was still dazed from your plunge into the vase, but you opened your eyes to behold your wand in front of you. 

“Fuck yes! I did it!” You cheered. Although a hollow victory, since you destroyed a Slytherin vase, but you’d promised to reparo it before you left and no one would be the wiser.

No one, that is except the owners of the eyes on you. You’d looked to your right and there, sitting stunned on the common room couches were the worst five people who could have witnessed you: Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Enzo Berkshire, Theo Nott and Mattheo Riddle. 

Fuck. 

Not one word was uttered. You looked between the shocked boys, you were in direct line of the door. If you’d went around the couches they’d surely grab you or have time to get in front of you and stop you, but if you went right down the middle, using the table between them to leap off you’d make it to the door and sprint so far away before they’d have time to catch you.

No time to think about logistics you’d lept up, grabbing your wand and ran towards them, leaping on the table and dashing across the surface, using the end to spring towards the door. 

“Oh no you don’t! Incarcerous!” 

While you were mid-air ropes wrapped around your legs and wrists, bringing you dropping to the ground with a painful “oof”. 

You rolled over, seeing Draco as the caster of the spell, wearing a smug grin on his face.

“Hey boys,” you squeaked, “This is all just a misunderstanding! Let me out of these ropes and we could talk, yeah?”

“I forget, do misunderstandings usually have the accused running away from their crime?” Theo questioned amusingly, his face holding an interested smirk.

“Listen, one of your housemates stole my wand and threw it in there and I was just trying to get it back, okay? I didn’t mean to break it and I would’ve repaired it and slipped out before anyone knew I was here.” You attempted to shimmy your wrists out of the ropes but to no avail, their tightness giving you a slight chaffing burn on your delicate skin. 

The boys stared at you puzzled, before jeering smiles cracked onto their faces and they burst into rowdy laughter. 

“You have no idea what you broke, do you little lion?” Enzo teased, his eyes alight with mischief and cruel enjoyment.

Their laughter and amusement was stirring an unsetting feeling in your gut. These boys had a reputation of being completely sadistic to those who crossed them, having them mock you was filling you with unease and panic. You shook your head at them, trying to display a neutral reaction to their taunts. 

“You broke an enchanted vase, lion. It can’t be repaired.” Blaise snickered.

Oh no. Fuck. Fuckitty Fuck.

You called upon all of your strength to not let your dread show. You steeled your mouth into a hard line and glared your eyes. 

“Okay fine, so I broke an ugly, big, magical vase. I’m sorry. Can I please leave now?”

Enzo and Draco were laughing in full on howls now, with Blaise and Theo sniggering to each other, sharing silent jokes between themselves. You made eye contact with Mattheo, who oddly had not said a word and was not sounding his hilarity like the others. His face held a mocking sneer, but his eyes, those obsidian black calculating eyes, stared at you, as if he was curious of this lion who had wandered into their viper den.

“You don’t sound sorry.” His voice cracked through the laughter, the other boys sounds dying out at his voice. 

“It wasn’t intentional and like I said, I was here because my wand was stolen and I-“

“Funny you should say that,” he interrupted, the edge in his voice seeping into your bones like ice, “I’m sure not a single Slytherin would admit to doing such a thing. So really, all we know for sure is that you broke into our common room and broke a thousands of years old enchanted relic from Salazar Slytherin.”

Your mouth dried up, anxiety going haywire throughout your body. On the one hand, your pride did not want to apologize to this absolutely smug, antagonistic Slytherin group, especially since it wasn’t your fault you were here to begin with. On the other hand, you broke a priceless, unfixable treasure from the fucking founder of Slytherin, if Snape found out he’d take you to Dumbledore, you would get expelled. 

A cold sweat covered your body, fear clawing your throat and your eyes building up water. “I-I didn’t know, I swear. I would never sneak in here to do something like that on purpose. Please, I’ll do anything to make up for it.”

Mattheo’s intense gaze twitched in interest, “Anything?” You nodded your head earnestly, still feeling the nervous panic tingling through out your body. 

“Untie her.” Mattheo snapped. Enzo and Blaise were the first to come out of the fascination in watching you and Mattheo, getting to work quickly on your ankles and wrists. Upon being freed from the binds you rubbed your wrists, slightly raw from the scratchy rope. You stared up at Mattheo, worry etched into your face. 

“Seeing as I’m the heir of Slytherin, I think I’ll see to your punishment. And if you take it like a good little lion, no one will ever know about this.”

Mattheo’s words only further plunged you into terror. Whatever he had planned for you, you already knew it would be unbearably painful for your mind, spirit and body. Still, trying to maintain your Gryffindor courage, you nodded in understanding. 

“From this moment on, I own you. If I ask you to come, you will, immediately. If I ask you to do something, you will do it, no questions asked and to my satisfaction. If at any point you defy me, every single shard will be on Dumbledore’s desk faster than you can say ‘Godric’, do you understand?”

Utter sorrow wracked your body, your freedom for as long as you were at this school was trapped in the hands of a vicious sadist. Merlin knows what he’d have you do, thinking on it alone filled you with remorse so deep it would echo into your bones long into the night. But this was the only option, expulsion meant no more Hogwarts, no contact with your friends, no future in magic. You somberly nodded, not able to verbally confirm without choking on the words. 

“No. Use your words, pet.” Your anger roared inside you at the title, how dare he reduce you this low? To strip you of your autonomy and independence and then demean you with such an inferior name. Your inner lion burned to disobey, to unleash the full extent of your temper on this arrogant, immoral devil of a man who goaded you with such humiliation. 

“Yes, I understand.” You bit out, not bothering to hide the venom in your tone. Mattheo almost preened at the bite in your voice, clearly amused by your fury. 

“Good, now get out before someone sees you. Meet me in the outside of the common room at precisely 7AM, not a second after.”

Your eyes glanced back at the other Slytherin boys who had been captivated by the whole interaction, your eyes begging for some kind of help that you knew you weren’t going to get.

You gathered your wand and sprinted out the door as fast as you could. You ran as far as you could away from the treacherous dungeons where you’d lost so much more than you gained. And when you finally made it to your dorm room, after your lungs burned and wheezed, you finally let yourself cry. Your wrath and despair melting together to cocoon you against the horrible truth: Mattheo Riddle owned you.

[ghostf1ux]

5 Times Jason Saved his the Flock and 1 Time they Saved Him: Second Time's the Charm

Day 10: Begging

Words: 5.6k

TW/CWs: Graphic description of injury, claustrophobia, literally digging out of a grave

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 (here)

-------------------------------------------------------

Everything was going according to plan.

Except for one small issue.

It turns out, Jason was not nearly informed enough about Blüdhaven. At least, according to his standards. Dick seemed to think what he shared was plenty, but he neglected to let Jason know that the underground owner of the god damn city had a personal vendetta against him.

So… Jason's a little upset. At his brother, for withholding crucial information. But mostly at himself, for getting into this mess.

What is the mess, you may ask?

Well, currently, Jason has had all his gear stripped from him save for the clothes he wears under his suit, which is just a thermal compression shirt and leggings combo, and he's gotta say, the thermal is really not helping in this dingy ass cold ass basement.

That may be in part of the sweat and blood dripping down his neck, the latter starting to pool on the ground from his kris blade embedded in his right thigh, pinning him to the chair he's strapped to by his arms.

Which, in reality, the chains keeping his forearms strapped to the arms of the chair would be easy enough to escape. They aren't very tight. The issue is more the armed guards surrounding him and, oh yeah, fucking Blockbuster standing at the other end of the room. There's also the issue of his… dislocated elbow and cracked radius on his left arm, dislocated right collarbone, several cracked ribs on both sides, and, oh yeah, the dagger in his thigh. And that's not even mentioning the extensive bruising and other minor injuries from the rest of the night.

Dick is so going to get punched later.

Jason grimaces as Blockbuster yanks his head up to face him by his hair, squinting when the fluorescent light nearly blinds him.

“Now, if I remember correctly, you work with that low-life flippy little blue bird vigilante,” Blockbuster states, like it's not even a question. Jason sighs, then immediately regrets the action.

“Work with is a strong description, Buster. Or Blocky? Which do you prefer? Mr. Bust, maybe?” Jason grins a bloody, toothy grin up at the man. He only scoffs.

“You play at being confident, Red Hood. But you will be how I take my revenge against Nightwing. For my life, I will take yours. But not before he knows that he could have saved you, and simply failed to do so.”

“What, you gonna put a bullet in my brain?” Jason croons.

“No, no,” Blockbuster chuckles, “But you're going to wish I did with how you're going to die.”

“Didn't stick last time, doubt it will this time.”

He hisses as his head is dropped and his collarbone shifts, just slightly.

“We'll see.”

------------------------

Dick sighs as he hears his phone ring, cocking his hip out in annoyance as he looks at the unknown number.

“Can you just give me a second? I've gotta take this call,” Dick plants his other hand on his hip as he glares at the purse snatcher cornered between him and the alley wall. He looks confused, but has the good sense to nod in understanding. Dick flashes him a news-worthy smile before answering the call and lifting the phone to his ear despite the chorus of quiet reprimands in his ear from the Bats. They can deal. “What can I do you for?”

“Ah, Nightwing, so good to hear your chipper voice again,” a painfully familiar voice crows. It makes Dick freeze, his posture immediately straightening.

“Blockbuster,” he greets cooly, motioning stiffly for the mugger to turn around so he can handcuff him. “I thought you were dead.”

“Well, times change, you know that, don't you? In fact, I just heard about something like that tonight. Something about it not sticking but… ah, that's not important.” Dick mutes to talk into his comm as he grapples to the nearest rooftop. Blockbuster keeps monologing in his ear but he isn't listening.

“Everyone, status, now.”

The flock knows better than to argue with his uncharacteristically sharp tone. Each one of them on patrol tonight responds with their vaguely positive conditions. So what…?

“...ut I figured I should give you a chance. You may have stepped out of the way of that bitch's bullet for me, but I'm going to graciously allow you to try to find your ally. I expect thanks for this, you know.” Dick tunes back into the monologue, unmuting himself.

“Who? Where are they?”

“Pity you can't even deduce who you're missing. Is Gotham really so much more important that you'd leave your ally alone in Blüdhaven for it?”

Dick mutes again.

“Who the fuck is in Blüd right now?” He nearly shouts, but manages to keep his voice to a loud hiss. Oracle's keyboard clicks in the background of her mic.

“No one, literally no one is in Blüdhaven right now,” Babs responds tersely. 

“Look for locations of everyone who's ever been there who's even vaguely someone I know.” Dick is pacing the rooftop now, with no direction to go and far too much energy he can't expend in any productive way.

“That's going to take awhile, N.”

“Just do it. Please.”

“You probably won't be able to find him, of course, but you'll have the chance anyways.” Dick clenches his fist so hard the material creaks. “I even put a nice little microphone in there for you, so you can listen to him as he dies. Karma's a bitch, blue. And, a plus side, now he'll be back where he belongs instead of sticking his nose into things he shouldn't be.”

Blockbuster laughs, and the line clicks once, twice, three times, and then a slightly staticky sound comes through. Dick's pacing slows and he covers his other ear so he can focus on the background.

It's faint, but it's there. Breathing. Quiet, slow breaths, like whoever it is is sleeping, but ever so slightly cut off at the end to suggest pain.

“O, how's the search?” Dick manages to keep his tone under control this time, reassured by the quiet breaths.

“All the Titans that you've been seen in public with are elsewhere in the country,” Oracle reports. Dick nods, but his guts twists. He's missing something. He's missing something big.

“He was taunting me,” Dick muses aloud. “He's mad that he died, he's trying to get back at me. He wants me to find whoever it is, or at least try. He would've left clues.”

“Oracle, can you play the recording of the conversation over the comms so we can all hear it?” Tim asks. Oracle hums an affirmative, and lets it play over. Then the active call itself is connected, so Dick puts his phone away.

“That was somehow oddly specific and incredibly vague at the same time,” Tim mutters.

“Agreed.”

“Tt. Is it not obvious?” Damian cuts in snidely. “There is only one who ever speaks of how death does not ‘stick’. Oracle, locate Hood.”

“During his previous check in two days ago, Hood was located in Boston,” Batman rumbles. “His investigation into a drug smuggling ring was proving fruitful, and going well. He may have been on his way back.”

“You don't just bump into Blockbuster, you need to be sticking your nose into his stuff,” Dick sighs.

“I… can't find Hood's tracker,” Oracle– or rather, Babs, now that she's turned off her voice modulator– informs them. “His last known location was from two hours ago, and it was in Blüd.”

“His investigation must have taken him there.”

“That is entirely possible, but it does not help us find Hood's location.”

“I've already tried triangulating the call's location, it's like it's not coming from anywhere. It's untraceable, I can–”

“Wait, guys,” Tim cuts in, “I think he's waking up.”

They all fall silent as the breaths become shallower, quicker. As fabric shifts, as normal breaths turn to pained half-gasps, as small, exploring movements turn to desperate, scrabbling ones.

Then Tim asks the question they'd all been dreading the possible answers to.

“Wait, didn't Blockbuster say he was in something? What the hell does that mean?”

And then Jason gives them their answer with his first words, and it's a whole lot more concerning than they ever thought it would be.

------------------------

It's… dark, Jason realizes, as soon as he opens his eyes. His head is throbbing dully, but it's also a little fuzzy, like he's waking up from a drug-induced nap. At first he thinks he's blindfolded, but there's no pull of any sort of covering over his eyes, not even his domino.

The pain floods in a moment later, tearing his thoughts away from figuring out why it's so damn dark. Burning pain, pulsing around his thigh, his arm, and his chest. The slightest movements make his breath hitch, but the clarity it brings to his mind is welcome. His right arm– the one with the dislocated collarbone, his mind supplies– is tingling uncomfortably. 

He grunts as he tries to sit up, finding himself not actually restrained to anything and–

His head thumps against a hard surface covered by fabric. The surprise of it makes him drop back down, onto what he now realizes is a surprisingly soft pillow.

Actually, he's surrounded by surprisingly soft padding.

His heart and his breathing pick up before his mind connects the dots.

Careful fingers, ignoring every stab of pain, feel along the edges of the tight walls containing him. There's a lip between where the wall and the ceiling meet. It's sealed shut.

“No, no no no no no no nonononononono not a coffin please not a coffin I can't do this again– not again please not again–”

But kicking out with his good leg finds he's surrounded on all sides by a well-padded box, sealed tight. 

His eyes burn as he scrabbles at the walls that close in on him, nails digging into the fabric and ripping it apart only to find the lacquered wood underneath. His breathing stutters into gasps for air as it grows stifling and suffocating, pressing into him on all sides.

He sobs, not only at the pain flaring from every movement he makes but at the fact that he's trapped in a coffin and he can smell the wet ground surrounding him. 

“Please, please don't make me– I can't– no–”

Panic courses through Jason's mind as the air grows thin. How long has he been down here? Sometime, a long time ago, he was told that a coffin has enough oxygen to survive for about five hours. The memory is hazy at best but even if that number is remotely true, how much has he already used up? How much is he using right now?

“B- Dad– mom– fuck, Dick– anyone– I– I need h- help– please– I can’t– fuck– I can’t fucking do this again, please, anyone–”

Only a resounding, heavy, painful silence answers his shouts, his pleas. He's desperate, and he sounds pathetic, and he knows that, but he really just does not fucking care.

As he's tearing apart the fabric above his head, his fingers brush against something near the highest edge of the lid, embedded in the wood. Just the smallest bump, but the difference is enough to bring him back to himself, if only the slightest bit. Enough for the pads of his fingers to gently feel across its surface, making out the subtle criss-cross texture of metal.

“A fuckin’- a fuckin’ mic,” Jason breathes out. He lets out a choked laugh, remembering Blockbuster's words from earlier. “D- Dickie I am so gonna- gonna punch you later, an’ you're gonna stand fuckin’ still with no fuckin’- no fuckin' flippy shit- and- and you're gonna fuckin’ deserve it.”

He grins at the thought, dried tear tracks and old blood cracking at the motion. It's enough to motivate him to use the fabric as a mask over his mouth, remembering what he did last time. He's not going to die here. Not to Blockbuster. Not when Dick, and who knows who else, is listening in. He's done some cruel things but making his family listen to him die is not going to be one of them. 

So he digs his nails into the lid of the coffin, and he rips. 

It's a slow process, exacerbated by the blood running down his numb fingers and the white hot stabs of pain from every movement of his shoulders, but there's headway. He feels his nails be ripped off under the pressure, one by one, until his nail beds are just bloody, mangled husks.

Distantly, he thinks he might be screaming. Or sobbing. Maybe both. Maybe in hysterics. Maybe he's just finally fucking lost it.

He just knows that his throat is hoarse but he keeps going, keeps digging, keeps clawing, ripping away the wood and feeling the splinters become embedded in his already torn apart hands and his arms are struggling to move through the injuries of earlier tonight but he does it anyways because he is not going to die like this because he didn't the first time, not with worse injuries and not with being smaller and weaker and not without the experience of already having done it before so now he knows what to fucking do even if he doesn't have a belt buckle to help him.

The smell of wet earth hits his nose just before dirt and soil comes raining down. He screws his eyes shut and grits his teeth through it, feeling it cascade down over his face and chest as he digs. He pushes it down towards his feet so he can keep going. The worms squirm around him, over him, their wriggly bodies trying to find their way back to their homes. Jason gags around the dirt and worms that found their way into his mouth, but he refuses to actually throw up. Not yet. Not until he's out. Not until he can feel the pitter-patter of freezing cold rain on his face, not until he can see that fucking angel gazing impassively down at the zombie that just came back from the dead, not until he can get a lungful of that trademarked Gotham smog that's probably ever so slightly tinged with fear gas and Joker Venom. 

His fingers break the surface, sooner than Jason was expecting. They reach up towards the sky, where a freezing breeze makes his fingers want to just stay there and never move again because it hurts and he's tired, he's exhausted–

Gloved hands find his, frantically clasping onto them with an iron grip and not letting go. He thinks another pair, or maybe several, are digging out the dirt around his fingers, leaving the rest of his hand, and soon his arm, exposed to the elements. He lets his hand go limp, let's himself stop fighting, stop digging. He feels the dirt being pushes away, the pressure of the earth surrounding him becoming less and less until there's ice cold moisture pattering against his head and there are arms underneath his, hands clasped around his hand and his forearm, the fractured one, he thinks, but he doesn't have the energy to scream, to yell, so he whines, he whimpers, while he's wrapped in something heavy, something warm, but it's too much, there are hands everywhere, they could be hostile hands, so he shoves them all away and blindly scrambles back until he can gag and heave and the dirt and the worms are finally being expelled from his mouth and his stomach. His ears are ringing and his chest burns and his body violently shivers and suddenly the weight is back but the hands aren't and it's just so, so warm so he lets himself get lost in it.

He did it.

He's out.

There's a hand carding gently through his hair. He leans into it. It's comforting. It's safe.

He closes his eyes, surrendering to the pull of that comforting, heavy darkness.

------------------------

Someone on the comm line fails to fully stifle a sob at the sound of Jason's cries, his begging, his screaming for help. Dick himself has long since stopped trying to stop himself from crying, instead he's just made it easier by flicking up the white lenses of his domino up so his tears can run freely over the mask instead of pooling within it.

It's not every day you hear your brother, who is as distant and emotionally closed off as they come, begging through tears for someone else to save him.

To say it was traumatizing was an understatement.

“Where are we at with the search?” Batman asks in his signature distant, emotionally-closed-off voice he gets when he actually feels something. It's the only reason Dick knows that internally, Bruce is freaking the fuck out right now.

He can sympathize.

“I– the line is untraceable, even to me. I've been combing through footage of every graveyard in Gotham, trying to find any irregularities but there's nothing yet,” Babs reports shakily. Dick takes a deep, calming breath, and tries not to let it out as another sob. He moderately succeeds.

“Something's been bothering me,” Tim finally states, breaking up the tense silence of the call. Well, silence from anyone who wasn't trapped in a coffin for the second time.

(Apparently. That was something else Dick was still trying to wrap his head around, but it also wasn't the most pressing matter at the moment so he pushed those thoughts aside before he could spiral further than he already had. He'd be of no help to Jason otherwise.)

“N, how was Blockbuster able to call you on your actual phone?” Tim's tone was clinically detached in the way he got when he was also starting to freak the fuck out. Some guilty part of Dick is thankful he isn't the only one.

“He… knows who I am,” Dick mutters, punching some other mugger he came across a little stronger than strictly necessary. “Out of costume. He knows who I am. Got a lucky hit in a fight a while ago, mask broke.”

Tim hums. “If that's the case, theoretically he would know who Hood is as well, right?”

“If he looked into it, sure, he's smart enough to figure that out.” 

And, a plus side, now he'll be back where he belongs instead of sticking his nose into things he shouldn't be.

The words echo in Dick's head. He swings his bike around to thunder down the road in the opposite direction, pushing the accelerator nearly to the max.

“He buried Jay in his own fucking grave,” Dick bites out, leaning down so he can avoid at least some of the icy rain pelting his face. A chorus of swears follow the words, and probably a collective changing of directions. “I'm twenty minutes out.”

“Twenty-five,” Tim mutters.

“Father and I are thirty-five,” Damian speaks up.

“I'm pulling up the feed now,” Babs reports. “Looks like it was set to a loop, nothing seems to be changed, but I should be able to find the real recordings–”

“A fuckin’- a fuckin’ mic.” Jason's raspy words cut Babs off, all of them going silent when he chokes out a slightly hysterical laugh and continues. “D- Dickie I am so gonna- gonna punch you later, an’ you're gonna stand fuckin’ still with no fuckin’- no fuckin' flippy shit- and- and you're gonna fuckin’ deserve it.”

Dick lets out his own wet laugh at that. “You got it, little wing. We're almost there, just hang in there.”

There's almost a minute of heavy, staticky breaths and a distinct lack of screaming, before another sound that'll probably haunt Dick's nightmares forever comes through. It's like nails on a chalkboard, but worse, because just by Jason's sounds of agony and sheer desperation he knows for a fact that the sound is nails clawing through wood. 

He screams and shrieks and Dick tries his best to block it out because if he actually listens he'll be forced to confront the fact that he's the reason any of this happened, Blockbuster did this to get back at him, and there was no explanation that could refute that. It was just plain fact.

The comm line is painfully silent of all voices other than Jason's, who had completely forgone even swearing in lieu of just letting his pain out in mangled, breathless howls. 

Finally, finally, after what feels like both forever and the blink of an eye, Dick is vaulting off his bike and racing towards the cemetery.

“Cut the cameras,” Dick orders just as he scales the wrought iron gates protecting the property. It isn't hard for him to sprint unseen across the various graves and up the hill he knows all too well.

Sure enough, the dirt before Jason's gravestone is freshly reburied. If he listens close enough, past his comm and the thundering rain, he thinks he can hear Jason's muffled screams through the earth.

That propels him to look around frantically for the nearest shovel, which, of course, is nowhere in sight.

Granted, his sight is vastly limited due to the pouring rain, but that doesn't stop the frustrated shout from leaving him. He just drops to his knees and starts digging with his hands.

Minutes later Tim is there with him, immediately dropping down beside him and joining him in his frantic shoveling. 

“B's ETA is five minutes.”

“Bring a fucking shovel,” Dick hisses, too tired and panicked to worry about his tone.

“Bring several,” Tim amends, his voice now having the barest hint of a waver at the end. Bruce grunts in affirmation, which is good enough for Dick.

In what could been five minutes or two, Bruce and Damian are there with them, carrying three shovels. Dick and Tim immediately take two of them, and Bruce helps them with shoveling out as much dirt as they can, as fast as they can. Damian is relegated to spotting duty so they don't accidentally hit Jay with the shovels.

Which is why when Damian's eyes widen and his breath stops for just half a moment, Dick is immediately chucking his shovel out of the three foot hole and digging with his hands again until bloody, mangled fingers break the surface. He latches onto them despite the pain it probably causes Jason, because it's probably better he knows someone is here regardless of whatever injuries he has.

Tim, Bruce, and Damian all drop in beside him to continue digging out around the slowly uncovered form that is Jason. Dick keeps his hand locked in Jason's, getting a better grip on him as more is uncovered. First it's his full hand, which Dick is more than happy to clasp in his iron grip, smiling wetly when he feels Jason gripping his hand just as tightly. His forearm is next, which Dick holds with his other hand, ready to help lift him out. His hand and arm go limp at some point, and only the rapid thread of his pulse under Dick's fingertips keeps him from panicking further. Then there's a muddy streak of white, or at least what used to be white, plastered within black curls. Bruce is quick to work his arms under Jason's shoulders to help lift him out.

“We've got you, little wing, we've got you. You're safe now,” Dick murmurs comfortingly as they start pulling him out. He doesn't answer, and doesn't open his squeezed-shut eyes, but he's shaking like a fucking leaf and maybe that's because he only has his underclothes on instead of all his gear.

Or maybe it's because he just had to go through an extremely traumatic experience for the second time and is still sobbing and hyperventilating.

But who really knew.

He's partially lifted out of the hole to where his full chest is visible when Tim speaks up.

“Wait, wait, stop!” Both Bruce and Dick glare at the younger vigilante, but they do stop.

“The dagger gifted to Todd from my mother is embedded in his right thigh,” Damian reports. “It is dangerously close to his femoral artery. If you remove him too carelessly, we will have a far greater problem.”

“Secure it. Quickly,” Bruce growls, and oh, yep, that's all fatherly worry there. Glad to know he can still let it out sometimes, Dick supposes. Even if it takes one of his children being literally buried alive.

From Dick's point of view, he can't see exactly what the younger two are doing, but he's getting antsy waiting around for even the maybe fifteen seconds it takes them to secure the knife.

And then they both lean back and help Dick and Bruce lift Jason out the rest of the way. A broken whine leaves Jason's lips as he's quickly draped in Bruce's cape, whimpering as he weakly tries to shove himself away from Dick, away from them all, movements jerky and sloppy and bloody, god, there's so much blood. Each movement makes him flinch, each calming touch they try to give him makes him scramble back, so eventually, they stop and let him have his space.

Except for Bruce, who follows Jason calmly and cards the hair out of his face while he gags and throws up graveyard dirt. He drapes his cape around Jason again, gently rubbing soothing circles on his back. Dick watches as Jason's ability to hold himself up finally gives out under his trembling shivers and he sags gracelessly into Bruce's hold, who murmurs comforting words to Jason even as he keeps him wrapped in both the cape and his arms.

Dick breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Jason's breathing even out and his face goes slack. He lets go of Tim's and Damian's hands, which he didn't even know he grabbed. 

“I– I'll take care of this,” Tim says quietly, gesturing back at the grave. Bruce nods, but doesn't say anything further. Damian follows Bruce as he stands with Jason in his arms, looking so small, smaller than he should ever look, considering the six-foot-two at least and built like a brick shithouse build he has. Dick glances wordlessly between Bruce and Tim, panic once again rising at the thought of leaving either of his brothers.

Tim rests a steadying hand on Dick's shoulder. “It's okay, I can handle this. Go be with Jay.”

Dick meets his eyes, searching for any sign of lying from his little bird.

“Alright, baby bird. But come back as soon as you're done.” He plants a kiss to the crown of his head before he's jogging to catch up with Bruce and Damian to head back to the manor.

------------------------

When Jason finally wakes, it's not slow, or comforting, or painless.

When he wakes its with a violent jerk, brain still having yet to catch up with the events around him, his mind filled with the stifling, still darkness of the fucking coffin and the pain, the agony as his fingernails are ripped out one by one from the sheer force of his desperate efforts to escape it, and he's cold, he's so cold, it's like he's dead all over again and there's fucking grave dirt in his mouth, choking him, drowning him, he can't breathe, he can't fucking breathe–

“–wing? Little wing, I need you to open your eyes, you're safe, I promise,” a voice– Dick's voice– speaks from somewhere in front of him. He manages to tear his eyes open at Dick's calm words, immediately squinting with the sudden brightness of what he thinks is the Cave medical wing.

How the fuck did he get here?

He doesn't have time to ponder it before his leg is buckling and he's falling into Dick's chest, the older vigilante making only the smallest grunt at his weight.

“Breathe with me, Jay. Let's get you back in the bed, yeah?” He gently leads Jason back over to the cot he'd flown out of in his panic, which he didn't even realize was him panicking until Dick had pointed it out a moment ago.

With only a few hisses and grunts, Jason manages to help lower himself back into the cot. It's only then that he registers the other eyes on him, crowded at the entrance to the medbay. No less than four vigilantes were squished into the space of the corner of the room and the doorway, making Jason roll his eyes once he got his heart rate back under control.

“You–” His voice cracks, and he clears his throat (wow that fucking hurt), “– you all just gonna hover over there or…?”

Because honestly he had no idea what they're doing. But he does know that his voice sounds like shit, because everyone's face grimaces and Tim is quick to walk over to pass him a glass of water with a straw. You'd think he'd gargled glass or something, and he can say that because he technically has! Or at least, was forced to eat some. Zero out of ten, do not recommend. That was a rough couple weeks.

Or maybe this was because he's been screaming and shouting his fucking lungs out at some point. That vaguely sounded like something he did recently.

Jason resolutely chose not to think about it for his sanity.

That being said, he gulps the water down thankfully, after swishing the first couple mouthfuls around and spitting them out to get the lingering dirt taste out of his mouth. Because it's gross.

“How are you feeling?” Babs rolls in next, coming to a stop on the opposite side of the bed from Dick and Tim. Her voice is soft, genuine, in that way she gets when she's really worried. 

Jason shrugs, immediately regretting it when he feels several stabs of pain from it. Looking down at himself now, he can tell he won't be doing anything for a bit. His ribs are wrapped, his leg is wrapped (with the dagger that used to be in it sitting on the table next to him), his arm and wrist are in a cast, and his hands are thoroughly bandaged. 

Yeah, nope, not gonna think about that.

“Better than I could be,” Jason tries, attempting nonchalance. By the looks exchanged between the five present, he doubts it worked. Oh well.

“Pennyworth says you're to remain in the manor for two weeks,” the demon brat speaks up, arms crossed across his chest. If Jason didn't know any better, he'd think there was a tinge of unease, and perhaps worry in his eyes. 

“Nah, I'll be out by the end of the week,” Jason replies easily, waving dismissively. “But don't worry, pipsqueak, I won't be doing anything too strenuous. Probably.”

Because who really knows with this job.

But apparently that wasn't the right answer, because looks are exchanged again and now it's making Jason annoyed. Annoyed, because he doesn't want to admit to being uncomfortable.

“I think we'd all really like it if you stayed a bit longer than that, Jaylad,” Bruce chimes in gruffly. His words are firm, but there's a hint of desperation behind them. “I'd like it if you stayed longer. To make sure you're okay.”

Dick, Tim, and Babs all have their stupid little hopeful smiles, Damian is scowling slightly less than usual which is basically the same thing, and Bruce is looking… oddly emotional. Not walling himself off like usual.

Huh.

Weird.

But no way he was staying in the manor any longer than he absolutely needed to. He can already feel his blood pressure rising at the idea of being trapped here for two whole weeks.

“Yeah… no. I'm not staying here for two weeks,” Jason mutters tersely. “Besides, I have shit to do in my apartment. Cases. Work. Whatever.”

Literally anything to get him out of staying here for two weeks.

“Alright, alright, we can talk about it later,” Duck cuts in before anything can devolve into anything even close to an argument. “But for now, why don't we head upstairs and relax? Watch a movie? It's been a long night.”

“I agree with Master Dick,” Alfred announces as he strolls in with a change of folded clothes. “I will be taking a look at Master Jason's injuries before he follows. I believe Master Tim and Master Damian can decide on a movie together?”

He sends a pointed look at the two, who don't dare linger under it and quickly scurry off, already bickering about their ideas of good movies. The other three turn back to Jason, who immediately feels the air get heavier.

“Jaylad…”

“No,” Jason bites out, “I'm not talking about this. Not tonight. If you didn't already know, then you aren't nearly as good of a detective as you think, Bruce. The Pit can't just bring people back to life, and I had to wake up somewhere.”

Of course the hoarse words come out more exhausted than actually scathing, like Jason meant them to be. Once again, he shoved down the mental images into the recesses of his mind, despite how they clawed at the fringes to get back in, just like he had clawed to get out of those stupid coffins.

God. If Jason had a nickel for every time he had to dig his way out of his own grave, he'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird and fucking traumatizing that it happened twice.

“He's right, B,” Babs chimes in quietly. “We shouldn't talk about this tonight.”

“Or ever,” Jason helpfully adds with a glare. He hisses under his breath as Alfred checks his injuries as gently as he can. Unfortunately, it's bound to be painful when every movement hurts something.

“...Fine. As long as you stay,” Bruce compromises, meeting Jason's gaze. Jason furrows his eyebrows. Since fucking when did Bruce compromise? Where is Bruce and what did this imposter do with him??

Jason acquiesces with a sigh. “Alright, whatever.”

And so Alfred finished up his examination, Dick and Bruce helped Jason get upstairs, and he spent the rest of his night watching movies with his family until he passed out in the giant cuddle pile that they all inevitably turned into.

It didn't stop the nightmares, but it certainly helped once he woke up.

[seikkoi]

ᴡɪᴛʜᴇʀ | j.barnes x f!reader

READ ON AO3

Your words hang in the air like laundry on a rainy day–pointless and unchanging in purpose. The empty space dares him to say something back, but the more time passes, the less sure he seems. His mouth opens and closes, jaw tense and fighting against something inside.

“I can’t be what you need.”

content/warnings: 18+ minors do not interact. post-snap au, secondary character death, implied/referenced abortion, survivor's guilt, grief, ptsd, etc., explicit mentions of alcohol, angst, hurt with absolutely no comfort, no y/n usage word count: 5.1k

“James–” you try to call out, and the syllables die in your throat.

He pauses at the threshold, shoulders slump. 

“I can’t,” he mutters under his breath, more to himself than to you.

The walls thunder when the door slams behind him, leaving a silence empty enough to hear your own pulse. It’s quick, adrenaline still rushing and heat still dancing on your tongue. Even though you feel defeated in your own right. You thought you would have so much more to say, so much more anger to let out. Insults and frustrations you’ve buried over months. But your admission had sliced deep enough, and Bucky was clearly uninterested in staying for round two. 

It wasn’t meant to end like this, you weren’t supposed to tell him like this. You had anxiously prepared for this conversation, waiting for a night he was sober enough to remember you existed. He’d call over and over from midnight to two in the morning, breaking your will with every ring until you answered and save him from whatever hole he was drowning in. Or, he’d show up and plead for you through the door. You obliged him every time, saying it was for your neighbors peace and not your own. But that was a lie, it was for you–each time. 

You couldn’t stand leaving him alone and broken, and he needed that. He needed someone to care. Something solid, safe. You were a journalist–not risking your life everyday and grounded enough to understand why he still did. 

Yeah, he wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore, but that wasn’t stopping him. He wanted to pay the world back. Do anything to make all the terror worth it. It didn’t matter that the toll could never be paid in full, that the universe never asked for retribution. He didn’t think he deserved to have anything else. 

In the beginning, after HYDRA fell, it gave him purpose. He started to feel normal. Steve pulled him back into the world a year ago when all he wanted to do was hide away. He thought he could, thought he was ready. It felt good to save people instead of harm. To have children reach for him in safety. He listened to Sam and attended the veteran’s meetings. He didn’t need to share for everyone to know who he was–the sight of the brooding, gloved man in the corner with dark eyes told enough on its own. He soaked in the stories of others, taking solace in knowing no one experience was unique. 

He started going out, living. Steve and Sam drag him to the gym a few times a week, which inevitably spirals into the gym and lunch afterwards. On Sam’s birthday, he guilts Bucky and Steve into ‘just one shot’, which, of course, inevitably spirals into several shots and a few beers.

Bucky won’t say it then, but it’s the most normal he’s felt since 1945. He watches Steve make a passionate argument for English beers (to Sam’s dismay), and swears he watched him make the same argument 50 years ago in a bar two boroughs over. 

He had gained the courage to venture the city on his lonesome. It was overwhelming and exhilarating. Streets he thought he knew like the back of his hand had completely transformed, and totems he thought would be long forgotten stood the test of time. 

He winds up back in Brooklyn, strolling the outskirts of his old neighborhood. He didn’t dare pass the frontier, not yet. Still, it felt good to be this close. The streets were different now—sleeker, polished, bustling with a new generation of dreamers—but their roots carried the scent of home. The barbershop he used to frequent is now home to an upscale coffee shop. The old brick facade is now limestone white, and he honestly might prefer it that way. 

He had another few blocks of reminiscing to do, but the door swings open as a young couple emerges in high spirits, carrying a very enticing croissant and a mouth watering smell to match.

He doesn’t catch you on the other side of the glass–looking away from your laptop to catch some leather-bound brood get seduced by a pastry. You chuckle as the choice seems to take him very little time to make, stopping just long enough to watch the couple walk by and catch the door behind them. 

He seems innocent enough despite the heavy coat and deep scowl. You can’t help turning slightly in your barstool to watch him, sticking out from the new age pop music and neon lights. You have to hide in your book when he heads for the empty seat next to you. 

“Did no one ever tell you staring was impolite?” 

You stammered an apology as he laughed and asked what you were reading. After you ramble for a minute too long, he pledges to give it a try and let you know what he thinks. 

“Same time next week?” he smiles, knocking against the counter and leaving as quickly as he entered, treat in hand. 

You didn’t want to take what he said seriously. Obviously, it was polite sarcasm. He didn’t mean it. You weren’t getting dressed and heading back to the cafe the following week because you expected him to be there or anything. No, no. You had an article to finish and that was your spot anyway. If he’s there again, it’s not because of you, it’s because of the croissant, obviously.

But he is there. Not only is he there, he’s got the book you recommended in hand. He waves the spine enthusiastically across the room when you take your place at the counter, and you try not to smile too hard. 

You didn’t think it’d spiral into anything. You hadn’t meant to ask him for his number the next week, it just sort of stumbled out–under the guise of talking about the book, of course. 

Instead, you two talk about anything but that. At first, Bucky’s shy to admit he didn’t quite get some of the references, and you happily spend a half an hour explaining Blade Runner. He begs you not to call him James out of embarrassment, and you do it anyway (eventually, it turns into a well-liked habit). You tell him about the time you tripped crossing the graduation stage, and he laughs as if he was seeing it live. 

For weeks you find yourself glued to your phone well into the early morning hours, swapping high school stories and food criticisms with such ease that you forget your giggling with one of the world’s deadliest assassins. You avoid bringing it up–you were a journalist, you read the papers. You didn’t need him to relive that to you. Especially when you were both too busy falling hard, and fast. Phone calls turn into dinners that turn into him spending the night in your bed. 

Before you know it, you’re spending your Sundays watching him completely fail a pancake flip in your kitchen. There’s warmth in the air, in your ribs. Settled and comforting in a way you never knew you needed. And then he presents his blob shaped creation like a true work of art and you realize you don't want that feeling to go anywhere. 

He brought that into your life, swelling and warm with every terrible pancake flip, soft smile, or kiss to your cheek.

And Bucky was better for it. To know he could love, to be loved in return. It grounded him more than any ghost walks through the old neighborhood ever would. This, what he had with you, it was here now. 

Maybe the fight could truly be over. Maybe he was finally safe. 

And then, Thanos happens.

It is the worst month of your life. You go from slow dancing in the living room, leaning against him and taking in the calm of his heartbeat, to watching the news in horror as Thanos’ army came to Earth. Scotland, New York, Wakanda. Footage of smoke rising in great plumes, painting the skyline with streaks of ash and chaos. Alien ships hover like vultures, dropping black-armored creatures into the streets below. And somewhere in that chaos was Bucky.

Or so you had hoped. Girlfriends weren’t high on the SHIELD update chain, and his location was confidential regardless. So, for 28 days, all you could do was watch the chaos unfold from the other side of the screen. On day twenty-nine, you woke up to find that half the world had vanished without a trace. You call Sam over and over, praying that he was okay, that Bucky was okay. 

No one answers, and for another three days you sit alone in your apartment swallowed whole by grief. Friends, family, the blonde barista at the coffee shop, and the man you barely got to love. 

A knock at the door pulls you from your stupor, eyes raw and cheeks red. And when the door swings open, your world tilts again. 

“Hey, doll.”

He says it so casually, like he’d just step out for an afternoon, not over a month. There’s a cascade of bruises on his face, a pristine bandage wrapped around his arm, but he’s there. Alive. Flesh and Bone.

You don’t think, you leap. Your arms tangle around his shoulders, squeezing until you’re shaking. He grunts softly in surprise, but his arms wrap around you tightly, steadying you like he always does.

You sob before you can even speak, your cries muffled against his chest. His metal hand runs gently along your back.

You hoped–assumed all would return to normal now. The life you were starting didn’t need to be on hold a second longer. The world would take time to heal, sure, but for now you could go back to late night slow dances and burnt Sunday pancakes. 

But then, you hear about Sam.

He didn’t make it.

Neither did countless others Bucky had dared to call family the last few years. You listen in stunned silence as Bucky tells you, the weight of the losses hanging heavy in the air between you. His voice cracks when he mentions Steve, though he doesn’t say much else. You don’t press—what more could you possibly ask?

For a while, both of you stay shadows of yourselves, and you imagined a great deal of others followed suit. Work didn’t go anywhere–being exponentially difficult if anything. Constant reporting of the aftermath, the testimonies. You don’t admit it and you don’t quit, but you start to hate it. You run out of words to describe what happened and no one can make up their minds for quite a while. The editor-in-chief gives you sympathetic nods for every late article, but you know you’re hanging on by a thread.

At night, Bucky holds you a little too tight, and you let him.

You catch him staring out the window in the early morning. Sharp lines draw on his face and you wonder if what you write is nearly half as bad as what he’s seen. It’s the only time you wonder what he’s done, what any of this has truly been like for him.

Truthfully, it’s hell. 

For weeks now he’d pulled countless mangled bodies from rubble, killed heartless scavengers who wouldn’t put the damn gun down, and watched the world he started to love again fall apart. And the rebuilding effort was estimated to take years. He didn’t have years of this in him. 

And who's to say Thanos was done? He had the stone, all the power in the universe to squander them at a moment's notice. Two of the strongest people he knew, gone with a single snap. 

“Why wasn’t it me?” he thinks, staring down an empty glass. 

The compound was eerily empty, with Stark still M.I.A and everyone else busy putting out fires at all corners of the globe. Pepper couldn’t stand the silence and left for her parents’ house in Boston. Bucky doesn’t even know what he’s doing here. He should be out there like everyone else–helping more, looking Tony, or supporting you. But it’s 2 am and he’s stuck, unable to face anyone and unable to cry. 

The fight would never be over. And he would never be able to keep anyone safe.

So he pulls away. Like night and day you go from two ghostly shadows, dancing in charred grief to nuclear reactions, ready to set the other off at a moment's notice. He can't cope and you can hardly move on, but you are moving. You push Bucky to do the same and it never ends well. It’s easier for you, and you know that. You’re constantly reminded of the devastation behind the thin veil of pictures and text. There is no separation for Bucky. Every cry, every hint of death and absence, floods his senses until it’s all his brain can compute.

The world is gone.

In a flash of anger, he throws the bottle against the refrigerator and takes pride in the shatter. F.R.I.D.A.Y is smart enough not to offer assistance. 

Peace was at his fingertips. He felt it. He missed it. Watching Steve and Sam argue about the most trivial topics. Listening to you ramble at 3 am about bad romance novels. Seeing actual joy in strangers on the street. Being in the world when it felt whole again.

Now, he can’t look at you without thinking of loss. The folly of love. Pain would always lurk on the horizon. He could try over and over to rebuild. It didn’t matter and it never would. The universe was a cruel bitch–and nowhere knew through him by the looks of it. Every night he goes to sleep with a heavy ache in his heart. A miasma that sits on his chest and stares at him through his dreams. In the morning, it follows him from place to place. Watching, waiting to swallow him whole.

When Bucky comes to you later that evening reeking of sorrow, you have a look that he can’t place. He thinks you can see it, the dread stalking him. The emptiness. He can’t take it and leaves as soon as he arrives. With each passing day, he pulls away more, and more and more. It’s better to lose you this way. 

It doesn’t stop you from calling and sometimes he answers. Some days he shows up and holds you like nothing ever happened. He loses his grief in the soft corners of your body, and you let him. It helps you too. You find yourself all the same, soaking in his weight against the mattress. It’s hopeful, the way he touches you. Delicate, precise–not in pleasure but in preservation. He breaks you apart until you’re left to just the finest parts. Thinking of nothing but him, wanting nothing but him. Hungry teeth mark the soft flesh at your pulse, the skin on your inner thigh. All to catalogue the noises you make, to feel your nails dig into his shoulders. He does this for his own memory, savouring as much of you as you can before you’re gone for good.  He knows it’s inevitable. 

It’s always been inevitable.

In the morning, it’s lost all over again when he disappears, leaving the scent of mulberry and whiskey behind. 

Carol finds Nebula and Tony in cold space. Battered, starving, and a moment away from slow death. Bucky had a dust of hope left that the genius had one more trick up his sleeve. A month passes while he recovers, then weeks. After a year Pepper and Tony find a quaint cabin up north to forget. Or maybe to start over? Bucky can’t tell and he gets too mad at his absence to care. Tony Stark got to stop being Iron Man and all James wishes for is to stop being Bucky.

The time between his late-night visits as the miasma greedily feeds. The loneliness and old memories stops either of you from saying what needs to be said. It’s harder and harder for him to face you. Each time Bucky leaves you craving what you had before, while still giving you hope it might come back.

He stops coming to the cafe altogether. Stopped calling. The man who once lit up your entire world now burned through whiskey like it was water, each sip drowning him a little further

The day you find out, it’s bittersweet, and you dared to hope again. You picture, even if just for a second, a bright future. Burnt pancakes with an extra plate, soft laughter from the dinner table as you and Bucky waltz around the kitchen–you picture it all in such a sharp flash. A reason for both of you to hope again. It’s vivid and near disorienting. You sit against the bathroom wall staring at the pink double lines. 

Out of instinct and burning joy, you called Bucky, heart racing and a smile creeping onto your face. 

It rings once. Twice. Three Times. And then voicemail. 

And then you remember who Bucky is, or rather who he’s becoming.

And your heart sinks.

For two days you cry and wait. That he’d call back, that this time he had a reason. That the universe wasn’t giving you an enormous final sign. 

Each day blurs into the next  and you’re forced to face the music. The future you pictured, it would never be reality. In reality, things continued to deteriorate. Just as Bucky realized anything could take you away from him, you realized he was already gone. Sure, he survived the snap, but he wasn’t living. He perished just the same. You were left with a man hollow from far more than just grief. And a man who could never be a father. That peaceful future could never exist because this world would never give you peace. 

Children weren’t a part of your life plan. You couldn’t do it on your own and you knew that. You weren’t sure you could do it under any circumstances. But you certainly couldn’t in this world. Not now. 

So you made a choice, alone. You called Bucky again before making the appointment, to no answer. You couldn’t bring yourself to tell a friend, sunken by anger and sadness you can’t. You go alone, drive home alone, and cry alone for two weeks. 

You start to think this time he’s never coming back. Your decision feels justified, righteous, and forty times worse. The bed sheets maintain a perfect shape for you to hide in. Not from Bucky. No, you wish he’d seek you out. At your absolute worst and wanting him the most. Even though you knew you should hate him, cast him aside in your mind. 

But you just can’t. Call it loneliness or stupidity–it didn’t matter. You keep a sliver of hope that he waltzes right back into your life, this time as himself, whole. Unbroken and ready to belt Frank Sinatra down the empty streets as he walks you home. You could loop his arms in his again and lean steady on his weight once more. 

Maybe you got desperate for it. While the weeks stretched into another month, and you had to keep living. People seemed to fill the gaps others left behind. Deadlines came back, along with birthdays, sports tournaments, and holidays. There was always an air of despair to everything, though. Tributes and memorials were constant, and the topic never truly left public discussion. It simply changed from a thing that was happening, to a thing that had happened. 

You met new people, a lot, in fact. A few even ask you out. Each time you turn them down, lying about you weren’t ready for dating yet or that work was too hectic. Truthfully, the thought of being with anyone else felt like an act of betrayal. Logically, after twenty seven days (because yes, you were counting) of missed calls and ignored texts, one might assume any romantic relationship did, or should come to end. But not you, not with Bucky. 

You didn’t want anyone else. But he wasn’t here. 

On day thirty four, a heavy knock wakes you around midnight. You’re half-asleep, shivering in your night-gown and wishing you wore something warmer to bed when you answer. 

Bucky slouches against the door frame, clothes wrinkled and eyes glinting. He looks at you for a second, just long enough for you to see the anguish stalking him, before he crosses into your apartment–taking your face between his palms and kissing you.

You don’t think, only react. You never do on these nights, the nights he bothers to remember you and you’re desperate enough to let him in. You react to the liquor-stained tongue dancing in your mouth, his hands finding your hips and pushing yours against the wall. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, and when his hands paw at the silk of your nightgown, you untie it for him. 

You don’t think as tears flood the back of your eyes, just as desperate as you are for release. It’s love, anger, need, and grief in their most convoluted form–working together and fogging your mind. 

You don’t think when he lifts you around his waist, tongue still searching for peace behind your lips. It’s been long, too long for both of you. Too many nights and days spent praying he’d come back to you. He lays you down on your bed, trailing down your body and leaving you breathless. You can hardly see him in the dark room. A shadow, lighting your nerves on fire without a single word. 

Some shifts. Perhaps it comes from the way he pauses at your hip. Fleeting and haunting. Recoiling as if the bone will break skin to seek him out. Livid that he would dare to take more than he deserves.

You don't think, and misread his hesitation as a chance to take control. Flip the script. Leave him a wanting mess. You don’t want to give yourself any time in reality. You want to pretend this is one of your first times. Before the world bowed under its own weight. Before you Bucky became your curse.  And thinking is antithetical to whatever currently happens between you two in these four walls. 

Your hands graze the lines of his jaw in the dark, finding full hairs where your mind remembers itchy stubble. Too much time has passed. You don’t think, pulling him back towards you and capturing his lips, trying to mimic the hungry passion he showed you at the door. 

He doesn’t show you any return and you would think to stop, but you aren’t there yet. You try harder, until his arms braces your forearm. The cold metal grounds you and forces you to find his eyes in the shadows. 

“This is wrong, I shouldn’t be here.” he whispers, almost like he’s speaking to himself.  You hold his gaze briefly before it darts to the floor. 

Your heart sinks like a stone. Your ribcage wants to tighten around it. 

You tighten your nightgown instead. 

“Don’t,” you plead, but Bucky was already pulling away, fingers curling into fists at his sides. 

“I mean it.” he took another step back, and the stone reaches your stomach. “I can’t keep doing this.”

“Can’t?” you shot up, more sharp and cutting than you thought. “What the hell does that mean, James? You can’t? After everything–” 

He knows you're using his birth name out of anger, but even then he relishes in the way it sounds on your tongue. 

He still doesn’t bear to look at you, shoulders slumping. “I shouldn’t have come here, I should’ve known better.”

The laugh that breaks out of you isn’t a laugh at all. It was something jagged and bitter. You leave your bed to face him, refusing to let him ignore the hurt he’s causing.

“You should’ve known better? Now what, you disappear again and call it noble this time?”

“I’m trying to do what’s best for you! I’m trying to protect you!” he snapped, loud enough to echo. 

“Protect me from what? From you?” you repeat, incredulous. The words taste sour. 

“Yes!” he burst out, voice high and raw. “You don’t need this–you don’t need me.”

Breaths can barely leave your throat. You think this is what people always meant when they said they were ‘seeing red’. You want to ask if he thinks you needed him after losing half of everyone you cared about, too. After eight hours a day writing about tragedies that somehow felt two feet in front of you despite happening thousands of miles away.

“I can’t believe I thought you could ever be a father–that we might have a family.” It’s an admission you mean to keep in your head, but it spills out in a tangled mess with your tears before you can realize what you’re saying. 

Bucky snaps his head up. His jaw clenches, and for a moment, it looks like he’s going to argue. But the weight of your words seems to register. He doesn’t say anything, and the silence is suffocating. You feel the space between you both stretching, threatening to snap. He finally meets your eyes, and the vulnerability there almost breaks you again.

“What are you talking about?” He knows the answer to his own question. But he wants to be wrong. He prays to be wrong.

“I was pregnant and you couldn’t even pick up the phone.” you grit, trying not to yell, cry, or some combination of both. You fail, and your sparse tears turn into full streams. “I didn’t know what to do–I was alone.”

“When were you going to tell me?” His tone is low, in a confused attempt to process, but all you hear is blame. 

“I tried! For weeks! I couldn’t just wait on the sidelines for you to love me again, I couldn’t do this without you and you weren’t here!” 

“You don’t understand,” he mutters, his voice cracking under your anger. 

“Then help me understand!” you plead, stepping closer, your heart pounding against your ribs. “Help me understand why I had to make that choice alone.”

“I’ve lost everything,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “Everything I’ve ever cared about. And I can’t—I won’t—put you in that same category.”

You stare at him, your chest tightening with both frustration and heartache. “So, what, you just decide to give up? Walk away and lose me anyway?” 

“That’s not what this is–I’m not giving up,” he insists, though there's a lack of conviction in his voice. 

“Bullshit, you’re just a coward–you’re giving up because it’s easy and staying here and making things work is harder.”

Bucky froze, his jaw tightening as your words settled between them like a storm cloud. His voice was low, measured, but laced with contempt.

“Don’t give me that crap, There’s nothing easy about letting you go.”

“You don’t get to talk to me about giving up, Bucky. Not when you’re the one walking away. Not again.”

“You think I’m just cutting myself off from everything, throwing my entire life away, throwing you away, leaving every last thing I know and care about behind, because I want the easy life?” He stepped closer, his eyes blazing. 

“It was never that easy for me to do this—with you, with anyone! It was so much easier for me to go on thinking there was something I could do to make a real difference, but I know now—” His voice cracked slightly, and he ran a hand through his hair. 

“I know now there’s nothing I can do. The only path everything leads to is everything being ripped away from me.”

You shook your head, voice sharp. “That’s a lie, and you know it.”

“If I could do something to be at peace,” he continued, his voice still rising, “then I’d do it. I swear to you that I would. But it’s all just... waiting to slip through my fingers, leaving nothing behind.”

“That’s not true!” you snapped, your fists clenching. “You’re the one letting it all slip away, Bucky. Not fate, not some unstoppable force—you.”

“Bullshit!” His words were a snarl now, his hands clenched at his sides as though he didn’t know where else to put the anger. “What do you know? What the hell do you actually know about me, huh?”

Her lips parted, but he didn’t wait for an answer. “Nothing! I’ll tell you what kind of man I really am.” His voice softened, the anger bleeding into something more resigned. “I had nothing when I started, and I’ll have nothing when this nightmare finally ends. And I’m not wasting your life too.”

“You don’t get to decide that for me!” you shouted, stepping forward. “You don’t get to play martyr and act like I’m just collateral damage in whatever war you’re fighting with yourself. I’m here. I’ve always been here.”

“You know I’m right,” he bit out, his voice suddenly colder, quieter. “You knew it when you decided to end it–and I don’t blame you.”

There isn’t any air left in the room.

“I’m an empty shell. There’s nothing inside me at all. I know there isn’t. Guess that’s obvious. Anybody could see that. Before Steve got me, before I met you...” Bucky laughed bitterly, shaking his head.

You don’t know what to say. You don’t know how to fix this. You want to start over.

“Do you have any idea what I did with my life? I hurt people, I terrorized people, that’s what. I’ve never done a single honorable thing.” He looked at you with glossy eyes.

“You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to decide that nothing good has ever come from you, just so you can justify giving up. You don’t get to rewrite everything, Bucky.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, trembling with frustration and hurt.

Your words hang in the air like laundry on a rainy day–pointless and unchanging in any purpose. The empty space dares him to say something back, but the more time passes, the less sure he seems. His mouth opens and closes, jaw tense and fighting against something inside.

“I can’t be what you need.”

It’s soft and final.

Before you can even process it, he turns sharply, heading out your bedroom and to the front door. Each thud of boots feels heavier, more deliberate. 

“James–” you try to call out, and the syllables die in your throat.

He pauses at the threshold, shoulders slump. 

“I can’t,” he mutters under his breath, more to himself than to you.

And then, without another word, the door slams behind him with a force that rattles your bones.

You stand there in the dark, the silence swallowing you whole. The words you want to say, the things you wish you could take back, settle into the pit of your stomach like stones.

But he's gone, turning into a ghost once more. And for the first time in a long while, you know he won’t be coming back to haunt you. 

[ comments & reblogs appreciated ♡ thx for reading ]

[elaichichais-blog]

I’m trying to spread the liucheng agenda. I’m gonna drop him and Jiang Cheng into a life-or-death situation and watch the sparks fly—literally.

Picture this: they’re forced to team up against a massive demonic beast because, of course, fate thinks it’s hilarious. Jiang Cheng takes one look at the mess and immediately steps up, Zidian flashing to life as he yells, “Stay out of my way!” Liu Qingge, naturally, bristles at being bossed around but doesn’t even get a chance to argue because Jiang Cheng’s already in the thick of it, purple lightning cutting through enemies like a blade.

At first, Liu Qingge is just annoyed. Who does this guy think he is? But then, mid-fight, Jiang Cheng calls out a perfect strategy (and fine, it’s actually a good one), and Liu Qingge realizes this guy isn’t just strong—he’s terrifyingly competent. Then it happens. Jiang Cheng turns, robes torn and blood on his face, Zidian lighting up the battlefield like a storm, and Liu Qingge freezes.

His brain again: Oh no, he’s hot.

It only gets worse when Jiang Cheng saves him from a sneak attack, Zidian snapping just in time to fry the enemy to ash. Liu Qingge, still on the ground, looks up at Jiang Cheng like he’s just seen a god. Jiang Cheng, glaring, snaps, “Stop staring and get up! We’re not done yet!” Liu Qingge grunts out a quick, “Thanks,” but inside he’s spiraling.

After the fight, Jiang Cheng is all business, cleaning Sandu and muttering about incompetent partners. Meanwhile, Liu Qingge is standing nearby, awkward and covered in blood, trying to figure out how to ask, “Do you want to fight monsters together forever? Maybe get married?”

Qi Qingqi hears the story later and absolutely loses it. “You fell in love during a battle? Classic Liu Qingge. Should I start planning the wedding, or are you going to challenge him to a sparring match first?”

Liu Qingge just growls at her, but deep down, he’s already imagining their wedding robes.

(Do not question why they are fighting a demonic beast together or why they are in the same universe—shushhhh)

After the fight, things get… awkward.

Jiang Cheng goes right back to being his prickly, grumpy self, brushing off any praise with his usual “I didn’t do it for you” energy. Liu Qingge, on the other hand, has entered full internal crisis mode. He keeps replaying the fight in his head, specifically the part where Jiang Cheng yelled at him while literally glowing with Zidian’s light.

The problem? Liu Qingge doesn’t know how to act normal around him anymore. He starts inventing excuses to visit the Jiang Sect—something about “coordinating strategies” or “the lotus seed are incredibly tasty in specific sect.” (it’s off season) Jiang Cheng just narrows his eyes every time, wondering why this supposed war God suddenly cares so much about Yunmeng.

Everyone around them, of course, notice immediately. Qqq and his Sic are both having the time of their lives.

Qi Qingqi: “You’re staring again.”

Liu Qingge: “I’m observing his technique.”

Sic: “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng is oblivious—until Liu Qingge asks him to spar. At first, Jiang Cheng just thinks it’s a competitive thing, but then Liu Qingge keeps showing up, offering to train with him more and more. During one sparring match, Jiang Cheng manages to disarm Liu Qingge with Zidian, and Liu Qingge’s brain short-circuits because damn, that was hot.

Eventually, it gets to the point where even Lan Xichen is like, “Aren’t you two spending a lot of time together?” and Jiang Cheng immediately denies it, “It’s not like that!” while Liu Qingge looks like he’s been caught red-handed.

The real turning point comes when Jiang Cheng gets injured during another battle. Liu Qingge absolutely loses it, tearing through enemies to get to him and standing protectively over Jiang Cheng like a one-man army. Afterward, Jiang Cheng is yelling at him: “I could’ve handled it!” and Liu Qingge snaps back, “What, do you think I’d just let you die?”

Cue awkward silence. Jiang Cheng glares, Liu Qingge glares back, and then, Jiang Cheng mutters, “Idiot.”

But the next time Liu Qingge asks him to spar, Jiang Cheng doesn’t roll his eyes. Instead, he just nods, Zidian glowing faintly in his hand. Maybe this idiot isn’t so bad after all.

[lilmisshellfireswritingblog]

The Prophecy Chapter 2: Even Statues Crumble

Summary: Aurelia prepares for her wedding to Lucius Verus and marries him to save her own life.

A/N: Thank you for reading this little idea of mine. It literally came to me as I was listening to The Prophecy in the car on the way to work. If you have any requests as to like blurbs or one shots that happen within this universe, please let me know. I also don't do tag lists but, I appreciate the support! Warnings: 18+, arranged marriage, forced marriage, talks of death, second guessing, weddings, Geta being an a-hole, use of flashbacks, talking about wanting to die, emotions., and as always, let me know if I missed any.

Flashbacks are labeled as such.

Separator banner credit to: sweetmelodygraphics.

Aurelia’s gaze flitted to the reflection of the gown on the bed, her heart sinking. The fabric seemed to mock her. Every thread, every seam, a reminder of the future she never wanted. She felt suffocated by her obligations—by the weight of what was expected of her. Her father, her mother, the Senate, the people—they had all decided for her. They had all played their parts in crafting her destiny, and now she was nothing more than a pawn in a game of politics.

The door opened behind her with a soft creak, but she didn’t turn. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this—not tonight. Not before the wedding.

Her servant, Flavia, stepped in cautiously, her voice gentle as she spoke. "Your Highness, everything is prepared. The gown... the feast… everything is ready for tomorrow.."

Aurelia stood still for a long moment, her hands gripping the windowsill. The breeze from the open window fluttered her hair around her face, but she didn’t feel the coolness of it. She barely felt anything at all. She was numb.

“Aurelia?” Flavia’s voice was concerned now, soft but insistent.

Aurelia slowly turned toward her, her face unreadable, her eyes tired but defiant. “You were right to be excited for me,” she said bitterly, her words sharper than she intended. "But I’m not." She felt the sting of tears rising in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She would not cry in front of anyone—not now.

Flavia hesitated, her brow furrowing with worry. “You don’t have to go through with this. You know that, right? You can—”

“No,” Aurelia interrupted sharply, stepping away from the window, her voice suddenly hoarse. “I have no choice. I am to be the Emperor’s wife, whether I want to be or not. It’s this or die.”

Her words cut through the air, thick with the weight of resignation. She hated them. She hated the fact that her life was no longer hers to control. She had no say in who she married, no say in what her future would be. Her marriage to Geta had been forced upon her, too, but at least she had known him, had grown accustomed to his cruelty. This marriage—this union with Lucius Verus—felt like a strange cruelty of its own.

Flavia opened her mouth to protest again, but Aurelia cut her off with a soft, bitter laugh.

“You don’t understand, Flavia,” she whispered, her hands trembling at her sides. “Geta and Caracalla are dead. The empire is in the hands of men who would never think twice about tearing me apart. I am a puppet. A trophy wife. Tomorrow, I’ll stand before the Senate, and they’ll pretend to care, while they all gawk at the new Empress. And Lucius…” She paused, her voice thick with disdain, “He doesn’t want me. He’s just another part of the game. Another ruler who’ll sit beside me in the throne room and we’ll both pretend to love each other.”

Flavia moved closer, placing a gentle hand on Aurelia’s arm. “He’s not like the others, Aurelia. Lucius—he’s different. He was a gladiator. He knows what it means to fight, to survive. He’s not like the men who’ve ruled before.”

Aurelia’s lips trembled at the words. She wanted to believe her. She wanted to believe that Lucius, this gladiator-turned-emperor, was different. That maybe, through some strange twist of fate, he might understand her pain. But the truth was more complicated than that.

She stepped away from Flavia’s touch, pacing slowly toward the edge of the room. Her fingers lightly brushed against the fabric of the wedding gown once more, the weight of it pulling her down. "I don’t want to marry him,” she said quietly, more to herself than anyone else. “I don’t want this life. I don’t want any of it."

The words hung in the air, thick with the despair she had not allowed herself to feel until now. There was a part of her, a small, fragile part, that wanted to scream at the heavens. Why me? Why is it always me who has to bear the weight of the empire’s cruelty?

Flavia, sensing the depth of her distress, approached her once more, her voice softer this time, filled with empathy. "You don’t have to marry him if you don’t want to. You are strong, Aurelia. You can walk away from this. There are other ways."

Aurelia looked at her, her eyes clouded with pain. “What other ways, Flavia? Do you think the Senate would let me walk away? Do you think I could just... disappear?” Her voice cracked, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, her composure shattered. "I am nothing but a political pawn in their game. If I don't marry Lucius, I’ll be executed. They’ll kill me and then they’ll put someone else on the throne."

Flavia’s heart broke at the words, but she stood still, not knowing how to comfort her. There was no escape, not really. Not for Aurelia. Not for the woman who had already lost everything.

“I have nothing,” Aurelia whispered, her voice hollow. “Nothing left. Nothing to give. Nothing to hope for. This marriage... this wedding... it’s all a lie.” 

Tears filled Aurelia’s eyes, but she quickly wiped them away, turning away from Flavia. “I wish I could die before tomorrow. Just to be free of all of this.”

Flavia’s breath hitched, panic rising in her chest. She grabbed Aurelia by the shoulders, turning her to face her. “Don’t say that, Aurelia. Don’t even think it! You’re strong. You have so much to live for.”

Aurelia pulled away gently, her voice strained and broken. “What do I have to live for? This empire? This crown?” She gestured helplessly to the room, to the gown she would wear tomorrow, to the life that awaited her. “I never asked for any of this. I didn’t want this.”

She sank into a chair, her head buried in her hands as she trembled. Flavia stood helplessly nearby, watching the woman she had served for so long unravel before her eyes.

And for a moment, the silence between them was unbearable, filled only with the weight of unspoken sorrow.

Aurelia’s thoughts were a whirl of darkness and pain but in the quiet, with the wedding gown looming in the distance, she knew—deep down—that she had to keep moving forward, whether she wanted to or not.

It was marriage or death.

For tomorrow, whether she accepted it or not, she would marry Lucius Verus and she would be Empress once more. 

Flashback ~ Before Her Marriage to Geta

The night before her wedding to Emperor Geta, Aurelia lay in her bed, the cool sheets tangled around her legs, but it was the storm in her mind that kept her awake. She stared up at the high, vaulted ceiling, the shadows of the room stretching long and dark, as if the very walls were closing in on her.

She had barely eaten at dinner. She had hardly spoken. The weight of the marriage, of the future that awaited her, hung like a shroud. Tomorrow, she would walk down the aisle in a gown of white and gold, and before the Senate and the people of Rome, she would become Empress Aurelia, the wife of a man she barely knew, a man she had been told to marry to secure her family's place in the empire.

But Aurelia did not want this. Not this life. Not with him. She never wanted the titles or the riches.

A thousand thoughts raced through her mind, but one was clear: she could not go through with it. She would not. If there was any way to escape, to avoid this fate, she would find it. She had to.

She slipped out of bed, her bare feet cold against the marble floor. She had worn the finest silken gown, but now she felt it like a weight—a symbol of the chains that bound her to this life she had not chosen. Moving quickly, she crept to the door, her heart hammering in her chest. The guards would be outside, she knew. They always were. But what if she could slip past them? What if she could leave the palace unnoticed?

Aurelia moved silently through the darkened corridors, her breath coming in shallow gasps as she pressed herself into the shadows, listening carefully for any signs of movement. The stone walls of the palace seemed oppressive in their silence, like the very architecture was conspiring against her.

She reached the door that led to the garden, the place where she used to play as a child, and for a fleeting moment, it felt like a distant memory. The scent of roses filled the air, the sound of the night insects buzzing faintly in the distance. She stepped outside, the cool night air hitting her skin, and felt a fleeting sense of freedom.

But just as she began to move toward the edge of the gardens, a voice sliced through the silence.

“Aurelia.”

Her heart leapt into her throat. She froze. Slowly, she turned to find Marcus Cassius, her father, standing in the shadows, his face unreadable but stern. He had been watching her. Of course he had. The guards would never have let her slip by without reporting it.

“You should be in bed,” he said, his voice soft but firm, like the press of a blade against her throat.

“I—” Aurelia began, but her words faltered. She had no excuse. No lie would work.

She was tired of lying.

“I can’t do this, Father,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I can’t marry him. I can’t marry Geta.”

Marcus took a slow step forward, his face illuminated by the moonlight, and Aurelia saw the flicker of something in his eyes—concern, perhaps, or disappointment. It was hard to tell. His features were always so controlled.

“I know this isn’t what you want,” he said, his tone gentle, but there was an undercurrent of something darker, something unyielding. “But it is what you must do.”

Aurelia’s chest tightened, her breath coming faster as the weight of his words crushed her. “I don’t care about what I must do!” she snapped, her voice rising. “I care about what I want, what I need. And I need to be free. Free from this. I don’t belong with Geta. I don’t love him. How can you ask me to marry a man I barely know, someone I’ve heard only whispers of? How can you force me into this life?”

Her father’s eyes softened, but the hardness in his face never wavered. “It’s not about love, Aurelia,” he said, his voice almost too calm. “This is about Rome. This is about securing the future of our family. Your marriage to Geta will ensure that we remain in power, that our name remains in the annals of history. You were born to be a part of this.”

Aurelia stepped back, shaking her head in disbelief. “I never asked for this. You’ve always made choices for me, Father, but I’m not a child anymore. I’m not some pawn for you to place in a marriage bed just to secure alliances. I want my own life. I want to choose my own path.”

Marcus’s gaze hardened, his jaw tightening. “You’ve never had a choice, Aurelia. You’ve always known that. The empire does not offer choice to women like you. You are a Cassia, and that means you have a duty. Do you think your mother didn’t know this when she married me? Do you think she didn’t understand that duty? That she didn’t make sacrifices for it?”

Aurelia recoiled, her breath catching in her throat. She had never heard her father speak of her mother with such coldness. It was as if the warmth of her mother’s memory—of her kindness and devotion—was gone, swept away by the weight of duty and power.

“I don’t want to be like her,” Aurelia said, her voice barely above a whisper, her hands trembling at her sides. “I don’t want to give up everything for the empire. I don’t want to be controlled.”

Her father’s expression faltered, just for a moment, but he quickly regained his composure. “You have no choice. Neither does Geta. The Senate has already approved this marriage. The people will expect it. If you do not comply, there will be consequences for us both.”

Aurelia’s world felt like it was collapsing around her. The walls of the palace, the stone and marble, seemed to close in on her, suffocating her. “I don’t care about their consequences!” she cried, her voice breaking, but even as she said it, she knew she was lying. She cared about the consequences—she cared deeply. A refusal would mean disgrace, dishonor, and ruin for her family. And for herself.

“You must go through with it,” Marcus said quietly, his voice final. “You will meet Geta tomorrow. You will marry him. And you will do it for Rome. For us. For your future.”

Aurelia’s knees buckled, and she collapsed onto the stone bench in the garden, her hands pressing against her face. The tears she had been holding back for so long finally spilled over, and for the first time in years, she felt utterly, completely powerless.

Her father’s gaze lingered on her, but there was no sympathy in it. Only the cold, unyielding expectation of a Roman nobleman.

“You will learn to accept it,” he said quietly, before turning and walking back toward the palace.

Aurelia was left alone, the sound of his footsteps fading as the weight of her reality set in. She could run. She could scream. But she knew, deep down, that there was no escape. Not for her. Not from the life her father had chosen for her.

Aurelia stood in front of the full-length mirror, her reflection hazy in the soft light of the candle-lit chamber. Her hands trembled slightly as she adjusted the silk robe that clung to her skin. The room was quiet, save for the soft rustle of fabric and the occasional clink of jewelry being prepared by her attendants. The noise from outside—laughter, music, the murmur of the Senate gathering for the ceremony—seemed distant, almost foreign to her in this moment of solitude.

Her wedding day. It should have been a day of joy, of hope for a future that could be built in the light of love and partnership. But for her, it felt like the closing of a door she had never intended to open.

The door to the chamber opened slowly, and one of her handmaidens entered, holding the delicate wedding gown in her arms. Aurelia’s eyes flickered toward it for a moment before returning to her own reflection. The gown was a brilliant red, trimmed with gold thread, the fabric soft and weightless like a dream. The delicate embroidery along the hem and neckline sparkled faintly in the light—symbols of Rome's glory, of the empire's future that was now her responsibility, and her burden.

"Aurelia?" The handmaid's voice was gentle, tentative, as if unsure whether to interrupt her mistress's thoughts.

Aurelia turned, giving her a tight, thin-lipped smile. "Yes, Flavia?"

"The gown is ready to don, Empress. Shall I help you?" The woman’s gaze was respectful, but there was something else there too—a flicker of sympathy that Aurelia couldn’t bear to acknowledge.

Aurelia swallowed the lump in her throat. She didn’t want sympathy. She didn’t want pity. She wanted to scream, to break something, to tear off this crown of thorns that Rome had placed on her head. But she did none of that. She simply nodded.

"Yes," she said softly, turning her back to the mirror so Antonia could help her slip out of the robe and into the wedding gown.

The cold air of the room pricked at her skin as she stood there, exposed, while her handmaiden adjusted the dress. The fabric felt like it was suffocating her, the layers of fine silk pressing against her ribs, wrapping around her like a prison. Every movement she made seemed to tighten the knot in her chest, that feeling of being trapped.

“Do you want to wear your crown?” Antonia asked quietly as she fastened the gown with a delicate clasp at the back.

Aurelia’s eyes closed for a moment, the thought of the crown heavy in her mind. It was an ancient piece, crafted with intricate gold filigree and precious stones, a symbol of imperial power. It had once been worn by the great empresses of Rome, and now it would sit atop her head—whether she liked it or not.

But no. Not today.

“Not yet,” Aurelia replied with a sigh, her voice flat. She didn’t need the crown to feel the weight of this marriage. The crown would only serve as a reminder of the chains that now bound her to Lucius.

The handmaiden gave a small nod and moved to prepare the rest of the ensemble. Aurelia looked back at her reflection, her eyes scanning her face, her chestnut brown hair, now expertly arranged in a complicated updo, twisted with strands of gold. The gold accents in her gown glinted, catching the light like cruel promises.

Her heart thudded in her chest. It was not fear that made her body tense, nor anxiety over the marriage itself. It was the overwhelming weight of her own complicity. She was walking into this union with her eyes wide open. She knew what this would mean for her. For her future. For her identity.

"I should be happy," she murmured to herself. "I should be proud."

But she wasn’t.

She wasn’t anything but resigned.

She had spent her life surrounded by men who used their power for their own gain—first Geta, then Father, and now Lucius. Each had taken something from her. Her love. Her trust. Her belief in what a marriage could be. Now, this marriage would be no different. Lucius was no Geta, certainly, but the coldness that resided between them was something that neither of them could escape. He may have been the son of Lucilla, the true heir to the throne, but she knew him only as a gladiator—someone who had fought his way to power, someone who had been shaped by violence and bloodshed.

The door creaked again, and another handmaiden entered, this one carrying the veil that would cover her face. Aurelia stood still as it was gently placed over her head. She let the fabric fall into place, the lace soft against her skin. It was beautiful, but suffocating.

“You look stunning, Empress,” Antonia whispered, as if her words would somehow erase the tension in the room.

Aurelia didn’t respond immediately. She couldn’t bring herself to speak, to pretend for even a moment that this day was anything other than the beginning of something that she had not chosen.

The heavy silence settled between them, the air thick with the weight of her decision. The marriage would proceed. The ceremony would go on. She would stand by Lucius’s side. She would wear the crown, and she would endure.

In a fleeting moment, as the last of the attendants left the room to give her space, Aurelia allowed herself one last thought: Perhaps, somewhere in the depths of her heart, she still longed for a different life. A life where she was not bound by duty, not made to be the symbol of an empire, not forced into a marriage for the sake of political alliances.

But as the clock ticked, the reality of her situation gripped her again, cold and unyielding.

This was not her choice. Not really.

She was an empress and empresses did not have the luxury of choice.

Aurelia stepped toward the door, the faint sound of the wedding procession echoing in the halls of the palace. She walked down the corridors, her heels clicking softly against the marble floors, her breath steady. Her hands, now trembling once more, gripped the edges of her gown. She could feel her heart race. But she kept her face neutral, resolute.

The doors to the grand hall opened, and before her, in the vastness of the room, stood Lucius—waiting for her. The air buzzed with anticipation.

And she, Aurelia, stood at the threshold, ready to step into her new life.

The price of power. The price of survival.

And, most of all, the price of being an empress.

The grand hall of the imperial palace was bathed in golden light, its columns adorned with rich purple tapestries and intricate carvings that had witnessed countless ceremonies of wealth and power. But today, this sacred space seemed to pulse with an air of something darker—something forged by the sword, blood, and vengeance.

Aurelia Carina Cassia stood near the altar, her breath shallow and her body stiff with anger, her eyes dark and haunted as she gazed out over the sea of guests. Senators, generals, and various figures of power from across the Empire filled the space, their murmurs low and expectant. It was meant to be a celebration of Rome’s new era, but for her, it felt like a bitter mockery.

Her heart still ached for Geta, her late husband. Cruel though he had been, she had found a way to love him—a love that had never been returned but existed all the same. Now, the man who had taken his place as Emperor, Lucius Verus, stood in front of her.

Lucius Verus. He was unlike anything she had imagined. A gladiator. A slave. And yet, he bore the blood of the true Imperial line. He was her captor and her future husband, thrust into this role by the whims of power. He had murdered Macrinus, the usurper who had orchestrated the deaths of her first husband and his brother Caracalla, but in his victory, there was no joy—only a quiet fury that matched her own.

He stood tall and commanding, his piercing blue eyes scanning her face with an intensity that unsettled her. He was dressed in the traditional garb of an emperor, but his bearing—the broad shoulders, the ruggedness, the battle-worn look—betrayed his humble origins. He had spent most of his time in Rome now in the blood-soaked sands, fighting for survival, earning his freedom through the same violence that had stolen his childhood.

He was, in a sense, a mirror to her own loss. She, too, had been forced to survive in a world she could never control.

And now they were to be joined in marriage, a union that was born not of love, but of survival.

The officiant, a high-ranking priestess, gestured for them to stand at the center of the room, her voice smooth and practiced as she spoke the traditional words of union. Her gaze flickered between the two, noting the tension in their posture, the unwillingness that clung to them like a dark cloud.

Aurelia’s hands trembled as she reached out to take the hand of her new husband. His palm was rough and calloused, the grip firm but not comforting. She could feel the history of his life in his touch—years of hardship, bloodshed, and struggle. His thumb brushed against the back of her hand in a subtle, almost imperceptible gesture, but it was enough to remind her that despite all that had happened, they were bound by something now. A shared future of power, of control, and of the very Empire that had destroyed their lives.

Her lips pressed into a thin line as she nodded, the ceremony continuing in its formalities, yet her mind was far from the words being spoken. She thought of the fateful choice she had been given: marry Lucius Verus or face execution. It was a choice she had made out of necessity, but every fiber of her being screamed in defiance. She had loved Geta, and in that love, she had found a strange semblance of purpose, even if it had been a hollow one. Now, that love had been torn from her, and she was left with a man she neither knew nor cared to know.

Lucius, for his part, said nothing. His expression was unreadable, but there was something in his eyes—a flicker of something that mirrored her own anger. Perhaps it was the knowledge that neither of them had been given the luxury of choice, that their fates had been decided by forces greater than themselves.

The priestess continued with the vows, each word falling like the sound of a hammer on stone. As Lucius Verus spoke his vows, his voice was steady, though there was a quiet intensity beneath it, as if he were speaking not just to Aurelia but to the Empire itself, declaring his authority, his claim to this throne. He had killed Macrinus for the very right to stand where he was now. And she was his symbol of legitimacy, the last link to the imperial bloodline of the old regime.

Her turn came, and for a moment, she hesitated. The weight of what this marriage meant pressed down on her, the reality of her new life settling in. There was no love to offer him. No affection. Just the remnants of a broken loyalty to a man who had never truly loved her.

“I vow,” she said, her voice cold, “to stand by your side, as is my duty. I vow to give you the Empire that you now rule, for what it is worth. But know this, Lucius Verus—there will be no affection, no love between us. Only power. Only ambition.”

For a heartbeat, there was silence. The room held its breath.

Lucius’s blue eyes bored into hers, and for a long moment, she thought he might challenge her words, perhaps even reject her defiance. Instead, he simply nodded, as if he had already anticipated it.

“We will rule together,” he said, his voice steady and unwavering. “There is no room for weakness in Rome.”

And with that, the ceremony was complete.

As they turned to face the assembled guests, the crowd erupted into applause, their faces masks of politeness, their hands clapping with enthusiasm. The new emperor and his empress stood together, united in a marriage that neither had chosen but both were bound by. Aurelia could feel the coldness of her own heart as she stood there beside him, the weight of the imperial crown now heavy on her brow.

Her life, her future, was now irrevocably linked to this man, this gladiator-turned-emperor, whose blue eyes hid more secrets than she would ever be able to unravel. But as they walked down the aisle, side by side, she knew one thing for certain: in the world of power, there could be no true love. Only survival. Only Empire. Only Rome. Only duty.

Flashback ~ The Wedding To Geta

The sun was setting over Rome, casting a soft golden glow over the city that stretched out below the Palatine Hill. Aurelia stood before a tall mirror, her hands trembling slightly as she adjusted the folds of her wedding dress—a gown of delicate silk and rich embroidery that shimmered in the fading light. The dress, fit for an empress, was crafted from the finest materials, but it felt heavy against her skin. Every stitch, every detail, reminded her of the weight of the day, of the promise she was about to make, and the life she was about to step into.

Her reflection stared back at her, but she barely recognized the woman in the mirror. Gone was the spirited young woman she had been before her marriage was arranged. Gone was the girl who had dreamed of love and adventure. In her place stood a woman bound by duty—her fate sealed by the politics of empire, her future written in the cold, unfeeling hand of power.

Aurelia closed her eyes for a moment, taking in a steadying breath. She would have preferred to wait, to delay this moment, to take time to come to terms with the reality of her marriage. But there was no time. The people expected it. The Senate demanded it. And her father, always the pragmatist, had seen the union as an opportunity for political gain—an alliance that would strengthen the family name.

"Are you ready?" came a voice, breaking her reverie. It was her father, standing in the doorway of her chamber. His expression was unreadable, as it always was, but there was something behind his eyes—a flicker of concern, perhaps, or maybe guilt. He had done what was necessary. But Aurelia knew it had not been his choice either.

She forced a smile, the kind of smile she had perfected long ago when she was a child trying to please her father. "As ready as I’ll ever be."

Her father’s eyes softened for just a moment before he nodded. "You will be Empress. You know what that means, Aurelia. It’s a responsibility to Rome. To the future. Remember all that your mother and I have taught you."

Aurelia nodded, her throat tightening. Her future was already laid out for her, and it was not a future she had chosen. But she had always known that in the Roman world, duty outweighed personal desire. She was a woman of privilege, yes, but she was also a pawn in a game of power and politics.

The doors to the chamber opened, and Aurelia’s attendants entered, guiding her to the grand hall where the wedding would take place. The hall was massive, filled with marble columns and the scent of fresh flowers, the long tables draped in crimson cloths. Guests had already arrived, dressed in their finest to witness the union of the Emperor and the daughter of a noble family. But none of it felt real to Aurelia. It all felt distant, a pageant for the empire’s elite, a performance where she was expected to play her role.

Her heart beat in her chest, faster than it had been moments ago. Not from excitement, but from a deep, gnawing apprehension. This man— Emperor Geta—would be her husband. A man who had already shown her nothing but coldness and indifference. Their marriage, she knew, was not one built on affection or love but on the weight of imperial necessity.

As she entered the hall, she could feel the eyes of the guests on her, their gazes heavy, judging. The high-ranking senators, the nobles of Rome, all gathered to witness the consolidation of power that this marriage represented. But Aurelia’s mind was elsewhere, focused on the figure at the end of the long aisle.

Emperor Geta stood there, his back straight, his expression impassive. His dark hair was neatly combed, and his tunic was rich with gold embroidery, the imperial seal shining brightly on his chest. His eyes, dark and unreadable, met hers briefly as she walked toward him. For a moment, there was a flicker—an almost imperceptible shift in his gaze—but it was gone before Aurelia could understand it.

His presence was like a shadow, looming over her, a reminder of what was to come. He was not cruel—at least, not outwardly—but there was a coldness in him, an emotional distance that made her uneasy. The idea of this man being her husband was foreign, unsettling. And yet, as the ceremony began, she knew there was no turning back.

The high priest stepped forward, his voice solemn as he began the traditional rites. Aurelia’s gaze remained fixed on Geta, but he was unmoved. His lips were set in a firm line, his expression a mask of indifference. He did not seem to care for the ceremony, nor did he seem to care for her.

"Do you, Emperor Geta, take Aurelia Carina Cassia to be your wife, to rule beside you in both marriage and in empire, in joy and in hardship, in life and in death?" the priest asked.

Geta’s voice was low, almost detached. "I do."

Aurelia’s heart skipped a beat. He spoke the words with no passion, no conviction, as though the act was nothing more than a formality to be checked off the list. A formality for the empire.

Then it was her turn.

"Aurelia Carina Cassia," the priest said, turning his gaze to her. "Do you take Emperor Geta, to be your husband, to join with him in marriage, in rule, in life, and in death?"

Her lips parted, but for a long moment, no sound came out. Her mind swirled with conflicting thoughts—fear, doubt, and resignation. She had no choice. There was no turning back. The empire was watching her.

"I do," she said, her voice steady despite the turmoil inside her.

The ceremony continued, the exchange of vows, the binding of rings, the symbolic gestures of unity. But even as the final prayers were spoken and the crowd cheered, Aurelia felt nothing but an overwhelming sense of emptiness. She was a wife, yes, but not in the way she had imagined. She was a wife in name, a wife to a man who would never truly love her.

As the final blessing was given, Geta turned to her, offering her his arm as he led her from the altar. His eyes met hers for a moment, and in the fleeting seconds, Aurelia saw something there—something cold, something distant. But she couldn’t place it. She wasn’t sure if it was pity, disdain, or something else entirely. But it didn’t matter.

They were married now. The empire will have its heirs. The empire had its future.

They walked together, side by side, but it felt as though they were walking in separate worlds, worlds that had collided for the sake of duty, of power, of an empire that demanded much and offered little in return.

As Aurelia took her place at his side, she couldn’t help but wonder what the future would hold for her in this cold, loveless marriage. Would she ever find warmth in his eyes? Or would she forever remain a figure beside him, a silent witness to the empire’s unyielding march?

In the end, she knew one thing for certain: the wedding had been the beginning of a new life, but it had not been the beginning of love.

The grand dining hall of the imperial palace was a breathtaking sight, adorned with lavish tapestries depicting the heroic deeds of the emperor's past. The air was thick with the scent of roasted meats, honeyed wine, and exotic spices, while gilded chandeliers cast their warm glow over the guests, whose laughter and chatter echoed off the marble walls. The feast had begun in earnest, but for Aurelia, it felt like an insufferable pageantry, an endless display of opulence that was as hollow as her own heart.

The high table, where she and Lucius Verus now sat side by side, was elevated above the sea of guests, an uncomfortable reminder of the power that now bound them together. At one end of the table sat the new Emperor of Rome, his piercing blue eyes cold and distant, as if he were already surveying the entire Empire with an authority that didn’t need to be spoken. At the other end, Aurelia sat stiffly, her hands clenched in her lap beneath the rich folds of her gown, unable to fully appreciate the luxury that surrounded her. She had been made Empress again, yes, but it was a title that seemed to mock her more than anything else. She had no love for Lucius Verus—her husband only in name—yet here she was, forced to play the part, to smile and pretend that this was all as it should be.

Her gown shimmered beneath the flickering candlelight. It was the color of Rome’s old blood—the blood of emperors, of gladiators, and of countless men and women who had fought for survival. She hated the irony of it all.

Lucius, for his part, barely spoke. His jaw was set, his expression unreadable. He lifted his goblet of wine to his lips and took a long drink, his eyes briefly meeting hers, but only for a second. The tension between them was palpable, like an invisible thread pulling them further apart with every passing moment.

The servants moved around the table with practiced efficiency, placing golden platters of roasted boar, venison, and lamb, their skins crackling with crisp fat, alongside bowls of fresh fruits—pomegranates, figs, and clusters of grapes—and loaves of freshly baked bread. An assortment of cheeses and honeyed pastries were brought in, and the scent of wine—sweet, tart, and heady—filled the air. Flutists played softly in the background, and a troupe of dancers from the East began a slow, sensuous dance, their silks flowing as they moved in perfect harmony with the music.

But despite the abundance of food and drink, despite the spectacle unfolding before her, Aurelia could not enjoy a single moment. Her mind swam with bitter thoughts: memories of Geta, the brutal coldness of his reign, his violence—yet, within that cruelty, she had found something to hold on to, something that had made him hers, even if only in the darkest corners of her heart.

She was brought back to the present by a low voice beside her.

"Not hungry?" Lucius Verus’s voice was quieter than before, his words heavy with something unreadable. It was not a question of concern, but one of curiosity, or perhaps challenge.

Aurelia turned toward him, meeting his gaze. His blue eyes were sharp and intent, as though he were studying her, as though she were the next opponent to be defeated in his personal arena.

"I’m not hungry," she replied, her voice cool, and for a moment, their eyes locked, the silence between them thick and heavy.

Lucius’s lips tightened, though it wasn’t in anger. It was more a quiet acknowledgment of the tension between them. He turned his gaze back to the feast and picked up a roasted fig, placing it delicately in his mouth. There was something almost calculated about his movements, as if every action were part of a larger strategy.

Around them, the feast continued with laughter and revelry. A senator cracked a joke, a group of soldiers clinked their goblets together in a celebratory toast, and a young noblewoman tried to engage Lucius in conversation about the new laws he would enact. Yet, despite the outward merriment, there was an underlying current of unease. The guests were not so naïve as to ignore the strange and uneasy marriage that had just been sealed in the hall behind them.

Lucius shifted slightly in his seat, as though feeling the weight of the eyes that turned toward him.

"You don’t have to pretend," he said, breaking the silence again, his voice low and almost resigned. "I know why you’re here. You don’t have to like it."

Aurelia’s lips tightened at his words, but there was no anger in them. It was merely truth, blunt and direct, as always. She looked down at her hands, unwilling to meet his gaze again.

"I don’t pretend," she replied softly, though she knew the truth of her own hypocrisy. She was pretending, of course. Pretending that she didn’t care. Pretending that this was all something she could endure.

"Then why sit through this?" Lucius asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Why endure this charade?"

Aurelia raised her eyes to his once more, meeting his gaze squarely. For a moment, she wanted to say because it’s all I have left, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, she said only, “Because I have no choice, just as you have no choice.”

For a heartbeat, Lucius said nothing. He stared at her, as though seeing her for the first time—truly seeing her. His gaze was piercing, intense, yet something flickered in those deep blue eyes. Perhaps it was understanding, perhaps it was something more, but Aurelia could not bring herself to interpret it.

A loud cheer broke the silence, and Aurelia turned toward the noise. The guests were raising their cups in a toast, celebrating the new Emperor and Empress, raising their voices in the name of Roman glory. It was an exultant sound, but it grated on her nerves, like the clanging of swords against stone.

"To Lucius Verus, Emperor of Rome!" a voice cried from the crowd.

"And to Aurelia Carina Cassia, Empress of Rome!" another echoed.

The room erupted in applause, and for a moment, the noise drowned out everything else. Aurelia didn’t raise her glass. Instead, she simply sat there, her hands folded in her lap, her thoughts swirling in dark circles.

Lucius raised his goblet, the flickering light from the candles catching in the deep blue of his eyes, but he did not look at her when he spoke.

"To Rome," he said simply, his voice carrying authority that silenced even the loudest of voices.

The crowd echoed his words, and for the briefest of moments, Aurelia felt the weight of the empire—its triumphs, its cruelties, and its endless hunger for power. It was the weight she had inherited, and it was a weight that would forever bind her to Lucius Verus.

For better or for worse, she was now his. And he was hers.

The feast continued around them, but for both of them, it had already ended. 

The grand banquet hall was alive with the sounds of music, laughter, and the clinking of goblets, but amid the festivity, there was a tension that seemed to weave itself into the very air. The feast had stretched on for hours, but now the guests were beginning to murmur in anticipation as the next part of the evening approached. The moment that every wedding in Rome demanded—the first dance.

Aurelia Carina Cassia stood frozen at the edge of the hall, her gown heavy around her, the rich crimson fabric swishing as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She could feel the weight of every eye in the room, the glances that flicked between her and Lucius Verus, the new Emperor of Rome, her husband by forced choice. He was already standing at the center of the room, his posture perfect, his jaw set in that all-too-familiar way of someone who had long since learned to suppress any sign of weakness.

They were supposed to dance. They were supposed to take the center of the room and spin in graceful circles, the crowd watching and applauding as if this were a storybook wedding. But Aurelia didn’t feel like a princess or a queen. She felt like a prisoner.

Her eyes flicked nervously to the musicians at the far end of the room, their instruments ready, their gazes expectant. They were waiting for her to take the first step, to move toward Lucius and begin the ritual. Her chest tightened with the weight of it. She couldn’t do this. Not with him. Not when every inch of her body wanted to scream in defiance.

Lucius turned toward her, his gaze cool but unreadable, like a glacier that had been worn smooth by the passage of time. He was not nervous. Of course, he wasn’t. A gladiator, a warrior forged in blood, who had danced with death more times than he could count. What was a simple waltz to a man who had survived arenas and emperors’ plots?

"You’re stalling," he said quietly, his voice barely audible over the growing hum of the room.

Aurelia didn’t respond immediately. She couldn’t. She simply stared at him, that same gnawing bitterness rising within her. She was trapped, caught in the unrelenting gears of this machine—this Empire, this marriage. And there was nothing she could do to escape it.

His eyes softened just the slightest bit, but it wasn’t with warmth. It was a recognition of the struggle she was facing, though he would never voice it aloud. Lucius knew what it was to be trapped in chains, though his were made of blood and iron, not silk and ceremony.

When he spoke again, his words were measured, as though he were giving her a final choice.

"You don’t have to like it. But we have to do this, for Rome." His words weren’t a command; they were simply a fact, one that neither of them could escape.

Aurelia took a sharp breath and glanced back at the crowd. She could feel their eyes on her, the heat of their stares burning into her skin. They were waiting for their Empress to play her part, to show the world that Rome was strong, unified under the rule of its new Emperor. She had no choice. She could feel the weight of it in the pit of her stomach.

Taking a deep breath, she straightened her back, trying to summon whatever dignity she had left, and began to walk toward Lucius. Each step felt like an eternity. Her heels clicked softly against the marble floor, the sound strangely amplified in the stillness that had fallen over the room. Lucius didn’t move, didn’t step forward to meet her. He simply waited, his posture as commanding as ever.

When she reached him, there was a brief, uncomfortable pause. He regarded her with those piercing blue eyes, his expression unreadable. Aurelia wanted to say something—anything—to break the silence. To tell him that she would never be the obedient bride he expected her to be. But instead, she lifted her chin, her jaw set in defiance, and placed her hand on his shoulder, offering him the coldest, most formal smile she could muster.

Lucius’s hand slid around her waist, the touch firm but not intimate. It was a touch that spoke of duty, not desire. He began to guide her into the first slow steps of the dance, his movements practiced and smooth, as though he had done this a thousand times before. Aurelia resisted the instinct to pull away, to lash out, but it was harder than she anticipated.

The music swirled around them, the sounds of the flutes and strings filling the room with a kind of ethereal, haunting beauty. The guests began to murmur, some of them leaning in to catch a glimpse of their new rulers, while others smiled and whispered praises. Aurelia could feel their eyes, their judgments, and it made her skin crawl. This was their moment, a moment they had all been waiting for.

Lucius’s grip tightened just slightly around her waist as they moved in time with the music. The movement was mechanical, almost rehearsed. She could feel the tension between them—an invisible barrier neither of them had the will or the desire to cross. Neither of them spoke. The only sound between them was the soft rustle of her gown as they moved in an intricate, slow circle.

Aurelia’s breath caught in her throat. It wasn’t the dance itself that bothered her—it was the feeling of being so close to him, so exposed. His scent, sharp and masculine, filled her senses, and she had to fight not to recoil. The proximity, the enforced intimacy, made her stomach churn.

Lucius seemed to sense her discomfort, but he didn’t falter. Instead, he gave a small, barely perceptible nod, as though acknowledging the weight of the situation. Aurelia couldn’t tell if it was sympathy, amusement, or something else entirely.

The music shifted, becoming faster, more energetic, but still they danced—two figures moving through the motions, a king and queen of an empire built on blood, sweat, and lies. Their feet moved in perfect time, yet there was a palpable distance between them, a gulf that no amount of waltzing could bridge. It wasn’t the graceful, romantic affair the guests had expected. It was a dance of survival. A dance of power.

Aurelia’s mind raced with thoughts of the life she had lost, the man she had loved, and the empire that had torn it all apart. She fought the urge to pull away from Lucius, but there was no escaping this moment. They were bound by more than the silk of her gown or the glittering jewels in her hair. They were bound by the expectations of Rome, by the empire that had demanded this union, this performance.

And so they danced. Neither of them truly present, both lost in the performance. And the crowd watched, applauded, and whispered their approval, as the two of them continued the endless charade that had begun with a marriage forged in blood.

When the dance finally ended, and the last notes of the music drifted into silence, Aurelia was left breathless. Her chest rose and fell with the exertion of holding herself together, and she quickly stepped back, her hand falling from his shoulder. The applause was polite, distant, but it was nothing compared to the silence between them now.

Lucius’s eyes met hers for a brief moment, his expression unreadable. His lips parted as though he might say something, but then he simply nodded.

"Thank you," he said, his voice quiet, though the words seemed hollow to her ears.

Aurelia didn’t answer. She simply gave him a stiff nod in return, the weight of the crown upon her head heavier than ever before.

Then, she turned and walked away, the crowd parting for her like water parting for a stone, their whispers now louder, more insistent but she didn’t care. All that mattered now was the emptiness she felt inside and the weight of the empire that bound her to a man she would never love.

[teawithmadalice]

THE DRAGONS DAUGHTER

Thranduil x daughter!OC • CHAPTER 2

SUMMARY: Thranduil lost his beloved daughter 500 years ago, on his search for the white gems of Lasgalen- his wife's final gift to him, he finds a young elf who reminds him of his lost daughter.

OR Thorin confronts Thranduil, and he reminisces.

WORD COUNT: 1.6K

1 • 2 (YOU ARE HERE) • 3

The halls of the kingdom of mirkwood were large, tall and extravagant, with curving branches of trees and wooden walkways wrapped around stone, even the dwarf prisoners could not insult the domain.

King Thranduil sat poised a top his throne, elevated above the kneeling not-king dwarf, peering down and sneering cruelty, "Some may imagine that a noble quest is at hand, a quest to reclaim a homeland... and slay a dragon."

The elf scoffed, standing from his carved wooden throne and descended the tall steps that lead up to him, approaching the kneeling dwarf. "I myself, suspect a more prosaic motive- attempted burglary or something of that ilk"

Thorin Oakenshield stood up, meeting the elven kings eye.

"You have found a way in, you seek what would bestow upon you the right to rule- The Kings Jewel. The arkenstone." Thranduil spoke, a reserved knowing smile flittering across his features.

"it is precious to you beyond measure, I understand that. There are gems in the mountain that i too desire, white gems... of pure starlight."

Thorin Oakenshield son of Thrain knew of the stones he was talking about, the white gems of Lasgalen, gems owned by the former queen of Mirkwood, and taken from her cold corpse by orcs and later found by wandering dwarfs, taken to their kingdom of erebor and stashed amongst the hoards of gold. It was soon after that, not even ten days later, that a fire breathing dragon of the name of Smaug wreaked havoc on the Dwarvish Kingdom. The gems of Lasgalen were lost amongst the horde stolen by a dragon.

"I offer you my help."

Thorins gaze hardened, "I am listening."

"I will let you go, if you but return what is mine"

The dwarf scoffed, "A favor for a favor."

Thorins Oakenshield remembered the day the dragon had come for Erebor, slain his kin, killed his brothers, sisters, the young and the old.

Thorin Oakenshield remembered looking up and seeing a vast elven army. An army that could have turned the tides. An army that could've saved his people and reclaimed his home.

Thorin remembers how he screamed at the king of Mirkwood, begging the elf for aid.

He remembers how the elven king turned around and refused to join the fight against the great dragon Smaug, and how in consequence the battle was lost.

"You have my word, from one king to another'

"I would not trust Thranduil, the Great King, to honour his word, should the end of all days be upon us!" Throin sneered, his posture growing with his anger as he seethed.

"YOU! WHO LACK ALL HONOUR?! I HAVE SEEN HOW YOU TREAT YOUR FRIENDS! We came to you once, starving. Homeless. Seeking your help. YOU TURNED YOUR BACK! YOU, TURNED AWAY FROM THE SUFFERING OF MY PEOPLE! THE INFERNO THAT DESRROYED US- IMRID AMARÂD URSUL" (to die a firey death)

Thranduil was blinded by grief, although the dwarfs did not know that, the day he marched towards the battle of dwarf and dragon. His actions are a haze, and he could not recall the events that happened the days after he heard his wife was dead and his young babe missing, he is told that he sent a letter to the Kingdom of Erebor, requesting for the return of his late queens necklace, the letter was answered with a short formal reply.

'To whom it may concern,

We understand you wish to reclaim the Lasgalen Gems, However due to Section F, Clause 5 of the Dwarvish code and regulations for Gold and Treasury affairs, which states: "Any belongings of any value found on a deceased person discovered by an inhabiting Erebor dwarf is rightfully property of the Dwarven King of Erebor, and cannot be reclaimed after being added to the Treasury horde." We cannot fulfill this request.

Regards, The sector of Gold and Treasury keeping for the great kingdom of Erebor.'

Thranduil is told that when he heard news of the great dragon Smaug spitting Dragonfire onto the Dwarven kingdom, he laughed.

No, his reaction could not be explained with the mere word 'laugh'. He was maniacal, his eyes were blown wide and he was erratic, he ordered a troop of 2000 elves strong to march for the lonely mountain the next dawn.

No elf knew if they were truly going to the battlefield to fight that day, their king had not explained the plan of action, but no elf had the courage to ask the grief striken king his reasoning, not even his closest advisors.

When Thranduil stood on the hill and looked down on the grotesque scene of fire and blood, he did not pity or grimace at the picture. Those insolent, greedy, cruel beings didn't deserve to live. Their deaths would be a mercy, and middle earth would be a better place with them gone... So Thranduil, Great King of Mirkwood, turned away.

Thranduil lowered himself to the dwarfs level, faces inches away from each other. "Do not talk to me of dragon fire, I know it's wrath and ruin." He spat, as his face contorted, skin shredding to reveal a large scar that covered the expanse of his left cheek- a scar left, undoubtedly by dragon fire

"I have faced the great serpents of the North. I warned your grandfather of what his greed would summon, but he did not listen. You are just like him."

His face reverted to its previous appearance, porcelain skin shifting back into place, some sort of cosmetic magic to restore the elven kings perfect image. He slinked away from the dwarf captive, signalling his guards to detain him once more as he climbed the stairs to his throne once more

"Stay here if you will and rot - 100 years is a mere blink in the life of an elf. I'm patient. I can wait..."

•••••••••

Aewneth knew from even a young age she shouldn't have survived.

Her origins were like a puzzle, a heap of jumbled up mismatching pieces that all had a place, but her fumbling hands couldn't seem to get them all too fit- and even if they seemed like, even for a second, that they were all falling into place, the picture they made was still too blurry to be seen.

But she was good at puzzles.

She was born prematurely, she assumed, her mother had abandoned her because she thought the girl was too weak to be among the strong wood elves of her kin. Miraculously, she survived a few seasons in the wilderness- maybe a pack of wolves or a lonely bear mistook her for a cub, or perhaps just took pity on her weak miserable circumstance and provided for her.

She was malnourished, and premature, still looking like a new born, the townsfolk of Laketown decided to sacrifice a babe to the dragon Smaug in order to gain favour, but did not want to send their own flesh and blood, so they sent her, an abandoned elfling orphan.

And for whatever reason, Smaug did not burn the girl and eat her when she was placed at the mouth of the cave in which was once the great Dwarven kingdom of Erebor, instead he took her in, gave her books and clothes, taught her ancient languages thousands of years old from when the 6000 year old dragon was just a hatchling.

And that is what the puzzle illustrates.

The picture is clear, but blurry. The picture is complete, but pieces are still missing.

Aewneth was good at most puzzles, but this one she still hasn't gotten right, but she was wise enough to know that.

Her room was once the kings quarters, it was a large room, with a view of the hoard from above, she could look from her window and see the slumbering dragon beneath the gold, the glistening gems that reflected the torch lit room like stars. The kings quarters was once rather drab, with stone grey walls, archaic, minimalist lines and patterns carved into the wall and no colour- but having inhabited the place for 500 years, Aewneth had added her own touch to the place.

The walls were now covered in painted murals, she had copied the illustrations of flowers, plants and trees she had found in the many books of the great Erebor library onto the walls. The soft blankets and elegant clothes she had scavenged from other rooms were tailored to fit her taller physique and were hand embroidered with bugs and greenery.

Aewneth could not remember ever seeing the outside world with her own eyes, although she knows she has once- when she was an infant, before she was given to the great dragon Smaug.

So she sought inspiration though depictions, paintings and novels, because Erebor had no windows, it was a dark, dingy forge, dwarves did not need to leave the mountain and had no yearning too, while most would feel it was oppressive and imprisoning, the she-elf had never known anything different.

She knew she did not belong here. A sense of unease and discomfort had settled in the pit of her stomach all her life- but she did not know where she did belong.

She was not a dragon like her adoptive father, she was not accepted by her birth mother, and the people of lake town did not care for her either

And perhaps the day that a small halfling stumbled into her father's hoard, and woke him from his 60 year nap was a blessing from fate, or a gift from Eru Ilúvatar. Whoever set this chain of events in action changed the life of Aewneth, lost princess of Mirkwood, for better or for worse, that is yet to be decided.

••••••••

WOOOOO!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! I hope you all have a great day and don't get into too many family arguments, I know i probably will 😂

not proofread

TAGLIST:

@sunroxic @trishfullertonwriting75 @ringwraith1261 @sanwhs2 @aduialel @kittysspam @prettyself @dipping-dots @carnivore-spikachu @monchaeri3 @kaorisakamotofan