#he is so adamant in his denial what gods exist
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maegalkarven · 1 year ago
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Rise of the Ranger: Elves!!!! 💫A race of mighty graceful immortals!
Me: meh
Empire of Dirt: Actually elves were created by evil human king and soon to be god in his quest for immortality. He considered their creation a failure since he planned to make HIMSELF immortal
Me: 👀 Tell me more
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Eternal Punishment au
this is the au I talked about in an ask a while ago, get ready this part is pretty long
Adam groaned as he finally woke up. He didn't know how long he was out, but it didn't matter, looks like angelic steel isn't so tough after all. He looked around and saw that he was nowhere near the stupid bitch's little hotel but instead, he was in some dingy alleyway.
Adam: 'Probably a good thing, none of those cunts will see me and stab me again'
Adam thought as he wobblily got up on his legs only to immediately fall back down when he looked down at his body. Adam stared down in shock at his bare body, not a single scrape of clothing on him. However, that was not what had him completely petrified to his core. No, it was the sight of two huge breasts, wide hips, and the worst yet where once his most proud feature dangled in between his legs now lay a hairy quim.
His breathing picked up and he tried to scramble backward to try and get away from this, this, this...female body but no matter how hard he tried it was following him like flies to death. He closed his eyes hard and opened them. Hoping that at some point, it would all be a dream and he'd be back up in his home in Heaven safely tucked in his bed. He was so concentrated on waking from this nightmare that he didn't notice the sound of wings flapping or the sound of feet landing on the pavement.
Lucifer: Well, well, well what do we have here?
Slowly Adam raised his shaking head to see the King of Hell himself standing right in front of him. He yelped involuntarily scrambling backwards. Lucifer didn't react
Lucifer: Have to say, this new style of yours really suits you
He said as his eyes traveled up and down his enemy's body in a sinful way.
Adam: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING?!?!?!
Adam immediately put both hands to his mouth in shock, his once deep, gruff voice was now replaced by a feminine-sounding voice with a slightly deep pitch. Lucifer, like the ass he is, laughed at Adam.
Lucifer: Oh ho, ho, ho, ho this, this is simply the greatest thing to have happen in Hell's existence
Adam: YOU!
Lucifer: yes me!
Adam: YOU DID THIS TO ME DIDN'T YOU?! YOU CAST SOME SORT OF WITCHCRAFT ON ME AND NOW I'M LIKE THIS!!!! WELL JUST WAIT TILL SERA AND ALL OF HEAVEN HEAR OF WHAT YOU DID NOT ONLY TO ME BUT TO THEIR ENTIRE ARMY AS WELL!!!!!!!
Lucifer: HA! I WISH I did this but no this wasn't me, according to the ancient rules of Hell this is simply your punishment as a sinner
Adam: ...what? No, no you are LYING! I haven't fallen! I'm no sinner! I'm an angel! a warrior of God himself sent down to smite the cruel and the wicked! Not to mention I am the first man, THE. FUCKING. MAN! Why would HE of everyone in the universe turn me into...WELL THIS!?!?!?!?
Lucifer: hmm, maybe because you were what many would call a misogynistic pig who only thought with his dick?
Adam: Wait why am I even TALKING to you I'll just go back to the agency, and they'll have this thing all sorted out!
Lucifer: (sighs) Fine, maybe this will help get it through your head.
with a snap of his fingers, the two were inside the embassy Adam ran around calling and screaming for anyone
Adam: SERA!? EMILY!? ANYONE UP THERE WHO CAN HEAR ME
Right at that moment a sort of ding was heard and Adam raced towards the desk, a rolled-up glowing scroll floated in the air. Adam snatched it, unrolled it, and began reading
'Adam, first man, and father of humanity, though, fortunately, you have lived through the battle where you were proclaimed permanently dead. However, through your actions over the centuries, it is now clear that you are no longer divine, nor should be. We hope you will understand that we did what was necessary for Heaven's protection, may you find some form of light down in the pit of darkness'
Adam's hand, which was holding the letter, dropped to his side in shock. He shook his head in denial, no, no, he...he did what they wanted him to do, he did all that they asked of him and more! He was loyal to Lilith, then Eve, he fathered the first generation of humanity, he prayed to the angels each and every night when he was alive, and when he ascended to Heaven, he still did all that they asked of him and more. He led their army, and he trained and looked after those soldiers as if they were his own Ok so maybe he fucked up once, or twice, he wasn't perfect NOBODY WAS!!!
As Adam slowly began setting into the reality of the situation, Lucifer came up behind the distraught fallen angel and placed a hand on Adam's lower back. A little too low for the former first man's taste
Lucifer: Oh, now don't be too sad dear, from the road you were on, it was simply bound to happen eventually.
Adam: I don't need you mocking me you clown!
Lucifer: What? No! I would never in a serious time like this, plus not when I was about to give you a gift.
Adam: ...what?
Lucifer: You see Miss you being a woman now leaves you vulnerable. You are a fallen angel with no holy powers leaves you completely defenseless. The fact that you are in Hell as well as completely naked with creatures outside ready to take you as you are, doesn't exactly help your case, does it?
Adam: What are you trying to say? Do you want to make a deal with me? Be your little slave for your protection huh is that it?!
Lucifer simply gave him a smile
Lucifer: A slave? No, no, no, no, no, no You've got it all wrong! I don't want you to be my slave, well not in the way that your thinking at least. I want you to be my new wife
Adam's mind went completely blank after he heard the word wife. He was stunned into silence as Lucifer continued on
Lucifer: See after my, former wife's, departure I've been desperately lonely, I've been wanting a companion for a while now. A wife to come home to after a long hard day, someone to comfort me, to be by my side through and through. Not to mention certain...activities that I have missed doing. I know this is YOU of all people but come on we've known each other since the very beginning of time itself! Plus, your certainly easy on the eyes
Lucifer said lustfully as he bit his lip. Taking in a good long look at Adam's new...assets.
Lucifer: Also, if you marry me, I will make all your dreams come true, you will want for nothing, every need, want, luxury you could ever wish for right at the snap (snaps his fingers) of a hand, my hand of course, I as your husband, would also make sure you would see Heaven each and every night! So, my dear what do you say?
Adam: ...what do I say? What do I say?! WHAT DO I FUCKING SAY!?! NEWS FLASH KING OF CLOWNS! I MAY HAVE A PUSSY RIGHT NOW BUT I AM A MAN, THE MAN! I SAY TAKE YOUR LITTLE GAY DEAL AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!!
With a defiant glare in Adam's eyes, he bends down a bit, inhales a bit, and then spits at the king, landing right on Lucifer's cheek. He raised a hand, wiped the saliva off his face, and raised an eyebrow as he stared at it.
Complete silence filled the entire embassy as the atmosphere grew thick around the first man and the devil. Suddenly a dark rumble sounded from Lucifer.
Lucifer: Ok then, I figured that your response would be a no at first. I actually thought that a few days out there in the streets would help prove my point and have you run straight into my arms. However, I must rectify this behavior of yours. for no one, no one, in this entire landscape makes a fool out of me, especially not my own bride.
Before Adam could do anything, Lucifer grabbed his arm, pulled him forward, and put him over his shoulder like a sack of flour
Do you like it so far? :)
OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE IT!!!
Adam: Wha- HEY! PUT ME DOWN!!
Lucifer just hummed as he walked through a portal back to Morningstar Manor, even though Adam could learn a lesson on the streets, he didn't want anyone to defile his bride.
The mere thought made him sick.
Lucifer walked into his, now their bedroom and flopped Adam down on the bed.
Adam: Oof!
Lucifer: You've been a very naughty girl.~
Adam rolled his eyes, Lucifer might be better than some random person on the street but that didn't mean he wanted the Devil to molest him.
He was suddenly very aware of how naked he was. Adam flushed pink and crossed his legs and crossed his arms to try and cover his new womanly body.
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indigovigilance · 1 year ago
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The Erasure of Human!Metatron
The elephant in the room is that Neil has [purportedly] denied the existence of a human Metatron. But I, for one, think an elephant really ties the room together. So let's get started.
First, I will address Neil Gaiman’s apparent denial of the Human!Metatron storyline (below the cut):
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Caption: The Metatron in Good Omens wasn't ever human.
Which would seem to put the debate to bed.
Except.
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Caption: That’s not really his father. It is. It is now, and it always was.
By Adam renouncing Satan as his father, we have in-story canon evidence that the past can be retroactively changed. So a storyline past can be divergent from an in-world past which has been modified. But only to a degree, because Aziraphale and Crowley clearly remember that Adam ~was~ Satan’s son, and Adam still retains some residual powers. Like pencil marks on paper, the past can be erased, but the shadow of its former self will always be there. But if that's not enough for you, there's also...
Lucifer!Satan
Neil Gaiman has also been pretty consistent with this characterization about the non-existence of the past in other characters, for example Lucifer!Satan:
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Basically (not to be rude), if you think that these statements can be taken to mean that we will definitely not get a story about Enoch aka Human!Metatron in S3, you have fundamentally misunderstood how time, history, and identity work in Neil Gaiman’s Good Omens universe.
So what Neil said about Metatron never being human… can we just collectively set that aside for a moment?
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Caption: Work with me, I’m extrapolating here. Yes? Good. Read the rest of the meta.
Evidence of Human!Metatron
Now that we have established that a former, no-longer-existing version of Metatron could have been human, let’s examine the in-world evidence. The best direct evidence is:
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Caption: I’ve ingested things in my time, you know.
This is weirdly important in the Book of Enoch. Food is mentioned in the Book of Enoch at least fourteen times, and consistently it is associated with being human, and having earthly desires, and subsequently with sin, whereas the angels are described as not needing to eat food but instead being nourished by faith alone. Enoch!Metatron’s own relationship with food is also explicitly elucidated:
Enoch answered to his son Mathosalam (and) said: Hear, child, from the time when the Lord anointed me with the ointment of his glory, (there has been no) food in me, and my soul remembers not earthly enjoyment, neither do I want anything earthly.
I propose that "in my time" is a direct reference to Metatron's prior existence as a human, and the fact that this time is over serves to underscore his current inhumanity, making him all the more sinister.
Other Evidence Pointing to Book of Enoch
This next bit is somewhat dubious evidence, but the entire reason I wound up investigating this is that I was actually investigating Baraqiel:
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…and for the God-fearing life of me, I cannot find any reference to Baraqiel except in the Book of Enoch. So this is a pretty big ✨Clue✨ to just leave hanging out there if it’s not supposed to lead us to this text.
The Scottish Mason
Okay guys, this the part where it all comes unhinged, but I promise the payoff is worth it.
The Book of Enoch was recovered from Ethiopia in 1773 by a Scottish explorer named James Bruce, who also happened to be a Mason. In 1774, upon his return, he was made a Fellow of The Royal Society of Edinburgh. And if this quote doesn’t get you, I don’t know what will:
Amazingly, Bruce brings back not just one copy, nor two, but three! Three copies of this text, which was previously thought to have been lost to the West forever. This inevitably led to all kinds of accusations as to where he had come by them, and more importantly how? Add to this that Bruce was a Mason in one of the most influential lodges, a Bruce descendant, and an imposing physical figure and 6 feet 4 inches tall, with dark red hair and an irascible temper, it is no wonder that so much excitement and mystery surrounded the man. [source]
So, you know, this guy:
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In summary:
There are reasons that we should be looking to the Book of Enoch, and the story surrounding its reintroduction to the Western world, as source evidence for Good Omens S3.
If you enjoyed this, you may also like my meta on Baraqiel and Azazel, which draws upon the Book of Enoch.
My original (in retrospect, kind of terrible) Metatron meta is here.
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whispersoflullaby · 1 month ago
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During the course of few days the most commonly used adjectives for Lu Guang in social media caught my eyes and irritated me to my core. The adjectives are- "selfish", "hypocrite" and "unhealthy" (in the way lu Guang loves Cheng xiaoshi *many are in denial about that too and I don't have the excruciating energy to argue with them*).
Now, let me shed light upon the text book definition of selfish - "one who is chiefly concerned with one's own personal profit or pleasure." (Wikipedia). Okay, so Lu Guang trying to save Cheng Xiaoshi is an act of selfishness? Isn't it basic instinct to protect our beloved? When our house is on fire isn't it human behaviour to look out for our people and trying to save them from the massacre or do we look out for our neighbours and try to look out for them when our own house is burning? When I have 2 dollars in my bank account and the ransom for saving an unknown person is exact 2 dollars, for the humanity and compassion and love for others I will spend that two dollars on that person but I will not take a loan for that right? But for my beloved, for my friends, for those who matter in my life the most I will not think even for a bit to go that extra mile and take loan from the bank and pay the hefty interest for the rest of my life. That's how struggle for existence, struggle to stay relevant is. Darwin's survival of the fittest isn't a very new concept right? It's our basic human instict to look out for our community people, seek out for them. In Hindu mythology, there's a saying - friends and beloveds should be like Krishna and Karna- those who stay by your side in dire need, even when on some level you are wrong, even when the world is against you. And why people are considering that saving people's life , changing timeline and messing up the fundamentals of time theory is just like a kid's play for Lu Guang and he don't have to pay any price for that . A price that can even make and remove his existence from everywhere? Where is Lu Guang's fault that he dared to dream to be with his beloved, the only person he has? In this context I will like to give reference to a line of vortex - "knowing it all am I destined to fall?, Knowing it all, Like once you did for me . " This this the Biblical reference to the story of Adam and Eve. Lu Guang is only able to know, he is not able to change everything. He can only try to change , keeping everything he has on sake, even his life. One thing - if Lu Guang sacrifices himself for everyone, how will he exist - Lu Guang's spirit animal is a cat, he doesn't have nine lives literally.
Next comes the very common trope of blaming Lu Guang as a hypocrite. For the reference I am attaching the definition of hypocrite from Cambridge Dictionary ( I don't think there can be a more authentic source for the definition) - Someone who says they have particular moral beliefs but behaves in way that shows these are not sincere. Okay so are we mixing up the very basic concept of moral beliefs and human instict to love, to care, to save and in general the basic human instict to "struggle for existence" . Even a suicidal person struggles on the threshold point of of their urge to live and their wish to end this life. Has Lu Guang ever claimed that he is that resurrected Chirst figure. In this late capitalist state he is here to save the mankind and punish the sinner. No, right ? So why are we making him a God like figure? And Lu Guang is hypocrite about what? For not letting Cheng Xiaoshi know that he will be going through workplace sexual assault when transmigrated to Emma's body? According to my understanding when someone is transmigrating to another person's body one is subscribing to experience one's lived experience, then with the vengeance for the horrible act they suffered, acting accordingly. When one is transmigrating don't you think letting one know about the experience one will be going through we are nullifying the other person's lived experience? When a person residing in center experiences a marginalized person's life ( in this case her marginalization happens because of her gender and class - both economic and social) it's difficult for the person living in the center fathom the intensity of a incident, everything isn't about textbook definitions. Moreover, did Lu Guang had the chance? Don't we think Lu Guang was helpless in that situation or is being dehumazined to a level that we are hesitant of thinking Lu Guang can have basic emotions? Or are we blaming Lu Guang for not letting Cheng Xiaoshi know about Emma's death? We all know in what condition (both mental and physical) Cheng Xiaoshi was after coming back from transmigrating into Emma's body.
Now, comes the adjective used for Lu Guang - " unhealthy" and we can also consider this as being non-concensual, abusive, obsessive kind of lover or "mate" as people like to call .. or should I say comrade? Anyway, one thing I learnt from this is that when a person is going to meet with an accident - I will first stop the speeding car going to hit the person and then let them sign the contract that will have made beforehand stating that I am allowed to save that person:⁠-⁠).! So that, the person whom I am saving don't get a guilt trip that they are being saved . As in that process I might have hurt myself and that person don't have to live through a life long guilt of being saved. Are we literally so much into the kind of media where we worship the Petrarchan trope of love that taking active action for one's love is being criminalized.
And people are so intrigued about passing value judgement about Lu Guang that he is judged merely being judged into the New Critic's way "good" or "bad"- "Is Lu Guang adding any value to our life?" "Is Lu Guang making you a good human being suitable to serve the big bens of the capitalist society?" - if not, then just tag Lu Guang as a horrible person. In the constant urge of villainizing Lu Guang, we have dehumazined Lu Guang so much that we have forgotten to see him as an individual and visualing him from a human parameter. The only request is to stop demonising him for loving, for dreaming to be with his love, for having a "queer" dream of a happy life...(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)(⁠◔⁠‿⁠◔⁠)(⁠.�� ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤
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tokoyamisstuff · 3 months ago
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Vocem Virtutis
Lat. "voice of virtue"
Prequel to Incursio Infernalis, but can be read as standalone story.
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18+ | 5k. words | Alexander Anderson x f! Reader | slow burn
Summary: Unbeknownst to you, the only thing standing between Anderson and his madness is the bond you formed.
Warnings: Mental illness, violent thoughts, masturbation, slight voice kink, injury, blood, fabricated backstory, they're both so in denial it is aggravating
Heretics. All of them.
It was far past midnight when the Paladin walked aimlessly around the estate, low growls deteriorating into manic laughter.
Anderson always knew he was just as much of a monster as those he had sworn to exterminate.
Born in sin by vile excuses of human beings, doomed to suffer unspeakable from his very first breath. That was probably the reason why he is so adamant to help children in need, and also why seeing people indulge in impure habits makes him see red.
Much to his luck however he was always a force of nature, massive in size and muscle even before the genetic enhancement - resilient despite the circumstances and at some point able to fend for himself.
When the time came that he was surrendered to the orphanage, there was nothing left but a sociopath with an unquenchable thirst for violence.
Not able to escape his past, he carried a darkness inside of him that was almost impossible to contain. A bloodlust that, if not contained, could be catastrophal for people in his vincinity.
But he did not want to hurt innocents the way it was done to him.
Anderson found solace in his faith. Discipline and self-restraint were obligatory, attributes he desperately needed to contain this wicked part of his soul.
The nuns at the orphanage drilled their ideals and ways into his head from a very young age, channeling his wrath into a direction that was beneficial - thus effectively turning him into the Vatican's bloodhound.
They convinced him that god doesn't make mistakes, that his creation is always flawless, and that everyone - including himself - exists for a reason. The thought was a consolation for the young lad he once was.
Yes, he is a necessary evil, his unholy purpose to fight evil even worse than mankind. And so he found an outlet for this erratic need to destroy.
But that doesnt change what he was, and during peaceful nights like this was one, his patience grew dangerously thin.
It has been weeks since he's last been on a mission, and controlling this overwhelming power becoming more and more of an impossible task. His whole body was burning like a witch on the pyre, muscles aching for the thrill to tear something apart.
Subconsciously, he is already searching for a victim. The slightest mistake, the most trivial overstepping would be punished severely...
...and then he found you.
Faint moonlight illuminated the hallways as you cradled an infant in your arms, quietly lulling it back to sleep. It was a sight to behold, accentuated with your balmy voice managing to calm his erratic nerves.
Without being aware of it, you spared someone an unnecessary gruesome demise.
You gasped when you notice something shuffle in the shadows, not expecting anyone to be up at this hour. But your expression visibly relaxed when you recognized the face of the Paladin.
"Apologies, dear. I did not mean to startle you." He was quick to put on the harmless facade, hands crossed behind his back as he greeted you. "What a wonderful song that was. You should join the choir at our mass."
"O-oh. Good evening, Father" you stutter as his imposing figure towers over you, nervous under his scrutiny. "I hope I did not disturb your rest?"
"Not at all." The man gifted you a polite smile and your lips mirror his. "I barely need sleep. Just making my rounds to assure everything is safe."
You chant in acknowledgement before tending to the baby again, softly patting it's back as it let out a whine. "Who's that lil' fella? A new addition to the flock?"
"It's a boy" you explain, "Doesn't have a name yet. I think he's colicky, but I am new to...well...this."
If only Maxwell had someone so nurturing care for him back in the day, then the boy wouldn't be half as miserable.
Well, he's one to talk...
The assassin made a gesture with his hand, signalizing you to hand the child over to him. You hesitate, not wanting to give up on the task already, but surrender for the baby's sake.
"You're humble, that is good" he preaches, "But the nuns told me you are doing splendid. You're a great help and the children love you very much already."
You watch as he coos sweet affirmations towards the infant, easily settling it stomach first onto his forearm. "One of the perks of being tall" he jokes and you chuckle along. It's an adorable sight, a behemoth like him handling a newborn with so much care. "Remember this technique, it's very helpful."
"Thank you very much, Father" you cheer, practically beaming up at him as you both watch the child drift into a sweet slumber.
As he hands you the child back, you could've sworn his hands linger on yours for a little longer than necessary. "Well then, lass, I bid you a good night-"
"Wait!" you exclaim, lowering your voice as you remembered that everyone else was sleeping. "I just...I'll tuck the baby in, and...maybe we share some tea?"
Anderson quirks a brow at the unexpected suggestion. He could've sworn you avoided him like the pest ever since he freed you from that Vampire's lair two months ago. Got the sentiment, though. He was a frightening person in general, and seeing him so unhinged was certainly not a very good first impression.
But knowing that rest is unlikely for him he chooses your company over his humble bedroom any time. "Aye, then we meet at the library. I'll prepare the rest."
Only ten minutes later you sit in the huge armchairs across each other, the fireplace heated and tea served. Even some sweet treats laid out on the table for you.
"You didn't have to go out of your way..." you murmur, hesistantly reaching for a bisquit.
"Well, it's not everyday that I get an invitation like this" he laughs in that deep tone of his, the cup comically small in his large hands. "So tell me, how have you adjusted?"
"Everyone is very kind" you note happily, "But it's a lot to learn." Truth be told, you were catholic only on paper. So you had to start gaining knowledge from ground zero.
"We all worked hard to fit into our role" he answers with wisdom, "And struggle is part of growth." He sees you clutch the cup harder, shuffle uncomfortably tense in your seat. "So...what did you really want to talk to me about?"
"I-I guess I never got the chance to thank you." Well that went in a completely different direction than he anticipated. "For saving me back then, and especially for offering me to stay. I don't know how I can ever repay you..."
Anderson sighed as he put down the cup. "God has saved you, lamb. I'm just his humble tool. And knowing you're thriving is all reward I need, really." He then looks down to your hands, worried as he saw them shaking ever so slightly. "If my presence makes you uncomfortable-"
"N-No! Of course not!" you cut him off immediately, saddened that your reaction caused a misunderstanding. "I'm just a lil' jittery still, because...seeing you, it just...brings back memories of that night."
"Take all the time you need to heal." He briefly puts a reassuring hand on your shoulder before retracting it and you're glad that he is so understanding. "But remember, the Vatican is one of the safest places in the entire world. And...you're part of my flock now, lamb. You're always protected."
"I know that, Father" you respond, "And I'm very grateful." Stirring the spoon in the empty cup, you timidly add "Say, if you're an insomniac like me, we could make this a habit? It was very helpful talking to you."
There was a long pause between your question and his answer.
For a moment he was contemplating to preach at you for even voicing this preposition, concerned for your intentions. But in the end, why not? This was a public space, and as long as it limits to innocent socializing, there was nothing forbidden about it.
This might be a routine worth implementing. A lesser evil surely, if it means keeping him from doing the things he's normally capable of when bored.
"I enjoyed myself as well" he admits, "Let's hope you get some sleep rather, but I'd be glad to see you again."
That aggreement soon evolved into a wonderful friendship, meeting up at the library whenever the two of you were unable to find rest. Which was quite often, mind you.
And the more you got to know about the unusual Paladin, the more he positively surprised you.
Anderson singlehandedly funded this entire orphanage, not keeping a single coin of his earnings to himself. He officially adopted every orphan himself, though it pained you to hear that some chosen individuals would be trained to join Iscariot if they come of age.
He knew everything about each child, spending basically his whole scarce free time caring for them. So even during the day you spend a lot of time together through teaching, everyday tasks, or taking them on trips.
Except for you, the children are the only ones that actively seek his presence. He admires that their spirits are still free of judgement, he once admitted. It seems like his opinion about himself was rather sombre as well, yet he kept any details to himself no matter how relentlessly you pried.
The nights you spent learning from him, oftentimes getting into arguments about how one interprets certain passages of the bible. Or going on strolls through the garden, starting to feel safe again even in the midst of the night.
It was especially enjoyable to listen to the astonishing stories about his everlasting battle against the supernatural. You'd always wait for him to return from each mission, no matter how late, and he figures this must be what it feels like to have a wife to come home to.
At least it's the closest he can get.
As hard to explain as it was, but Anderson actually felt a lot more human in your vincinity.
However it did not go unnoticed how close the two of you had gotten, apparent in how his gaze lingered on you during mass or the way you were drawn to each other, touching 'by accident' conspicuously often.
Were you even aware of this yourselves?
Though for a long time, no one dared to speak up or address the topic. Most were equal parts respecting and fearing the Judas Priest, the infamous Regenerator, God's Assassin. Others, like Maxwell for example, were too corrupt themselves to care whatever Anderson does during his free time as long as he fulfill his job.
If anything, he's glad not to have to hide any bodies anymore.
So you were absolutely flabbergasted when the Reverend Mother inquisitioned about your affilliations with the Paladin, to say the least. To her defenses, she knew him ever since childhood, and during her time at the order she witnessed countless fools starting to harbor indecent feelings for each other.
The two of you were an open book to her, one could say.
And even after assuring that the Priesr was on his best behavior, her warning left a carve in your relationship. "Anderson is a well-respected member of the order, and an exceptional warrior for our faith. I know he can be quite charming, but don't be fooled" she said, emphasizing every word. "Behind the mask there lies a deeply troubled individual, and I am worried for your safety."
Eventually, her words would soon be confirmed to be true when one night, he returned from a mission like so many times before - but this time, his demeanour had changed completely.
It was surely not the first time you saw him covered in red, always scolding him that the children might wake and see him this way.
Apprehension crept on you when you saw his broad shoulders having with every breath, and much to your horror you realized it was his own blood this time, pouring out from a gaping wound that reached from his chest to his stomach.
"Anderson!" you exclaimed as if you could physically feel his pain, a mystery to you how he could even stand upright right now. "Shit, what happened?"
"Language" he scolded you and if the situation wasn't so severe, you certainly would've laughed about his priorities. "We need to get you to the infirmary" you order, slipping your head under his arm to support him.
"This needs to be stitched. I already called for a doctor. Lay down." Anderson was amazed how you could keep a clear head all while tending to his wounds with such great skill, but he wasn't complaining.
"How's that even possible?" you utter under your breath, having offered the man a hand while you disinfected the cut. "Certain beings have unique abilities" he grids, flexing his fists in anger. "That bloody cunt...next time I'll make her choke on her own guts..."
You've never heard him talk like that before, but there wasn't much time to process his words since the pressure on your hand increases to a painful degree. And even while temporarily rendered powerless, he was still strong, inhumanly so. "Anderson, it hurts...Anderson!"
Luckily he snaps out of it before breaking your wirst like a twig, shocked with himself as he heard your pained whimpers. Both of you didn't even register the knock on the door, interrupting this moment much to your relief. "Y/N? The doctor you requested is he- uh, is everything alright?"
"Yes, yes, thank you" you urge the nun, "Send him in and go back to sleep." She didn't need to be told twice, glad to not be the subject of his wrath.
The medic didn't even have the chance to start his work, a bayonett pointed towards his throat as soon as he had entered the room. "Did I just catch you staring improper at this woman, you imbecile?!"
You want to protest, barely even having explained the situation to the doctor, but the Paladin continues his threats. "I'm sick and tired of this half-assed pretense you people call practicing our faith. I can turn you inside out anytime, so I wouldn't look at her again if you want to keep your head."
Anderson's expression was sinister, fists still balled so tightly that his gloves almost tear. He relentlessly cites bible verses to silence his head, but to no avail. Despite the possible danger, you softly grab his hand holding the blade, looking at him all doe-eyed until he'd surrender the weapon to you.
"Sing for me, would ya'" he asks out of the blue, and you immediately understand that he needs it to remain calm. You choose a religious song, of course, to remind him of his duties.
"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wrench like me
I once was lost, but now I found
Was blind, but now I see."
The poor doctor was sweating heavily during the whole process, the fact that you never left his side making it even more complicated for him. Anderson had closed his eyes, trying to focus on the sound of your voice instead of the raging anger inside of him. He wouldn't even flinch as his flesh got poked again and again, and you wondered how much pain a person had to endure to reach this level of unresponsiveness.
"You should leave as long as he can still suppress his bloodlust" you tell the man contradictionary cheerful, "I'll wrap him up. Thank you very much." He flees the scene as fast as possible, leaving the two of you alone once again.
"That was unnecessary and cruel" you scold him as you apply several compresses. He just scoffs bitterly, stubbornly. "Oh please, I know an infidel when I see one" He mentally adds "...and that man was staring you down like a piece of meat." Probably more projection that anything.
"Is that so?" You refuse to look him in the eyes, instead busying yourself with the wound. "Would you have killed me too if you knew I wasn't practicing the religion back then?"
Your accusation send a pang of guilt straight to his chest. Just to imagine harming you makes him feel sick.
"...that's- you're different" he lies, knowing it was absolutely in his range of possibility. You internally groan at his ignorance and hypocrysy. He's such a blockhead sometimes, incorrigible in his ways.
"You're so filled with hatred that you forget the Lord's preachings about forgiveness and love" you state and he narrows his eyes at you. How dare you act like you know the holy script better than a literal priest, the one that teached you no less? "You better shut your mouth now, woman."
Unimpressed by his empty threat, you cross your arms in frustration. "Or else what, you're gonna stab me too?"
"Of...of course not" he mutters, hiding behind the reflection of his glasses as he turns his head away. But you cup his cheek with your hand, gently forcing him to look you into those damn enticing eyes of yours.
"M'sorry" Anderson finally said, unaware that he's leaning into your touch, the stubble of his beard tickling your palm. "I did not mean to scare ya'."
Placing one hand over his heart as you help him sit up, you claim "You could never."
Now that he finally became level-headed again, a tidal wave of shame washed over the Paladin. You were clearly a mess, unable to keep it together any longer now that he's out of danger. Seeing him like this made the flashbacks of your captivity re-emerge, eyes beginning to water as you blink back tears.
Anderson knew how people behaved around him after having seen behind the act. He expected you to flee, to never speak to him again unless necessary, maybe even asking to be relocated...
...but instead you wrap your arms around Anderson's bandaged thorso, sobbing heavily as you listen to his ragged heartbeat.
He's human after all. He does have a heart.
Just needed to make sure.
Both phsyically and mentally exhausted, Anderson put his head atop of yours, huffing quite irritated with himself. You were so small and fragile compared to him, so pure and precious. He cannot bear the possibility of getting you in harm's way. He needs to better himself.
For the Lord, for the orphanage, for you.
"Why did you stay?" he finds himself asking, practically having to tear himself away from your warmth. Shouldn't indulge into the feeling too much.
"Because I care for you, Father" you retort instantly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You're working hard to protect us, and I'm thankful for that. I can't even imagine what sacrifices you had to make to turn out like this. But I'm sure you'll never hurt me...at least not intentionally."
He looks down to your wrist, already bruising in several colors, and tenderly lets his thumb ghost over it. "Still, that must've been frightening."
"Did you forget how we meet?" you snort way too carefree, "You basically slaughtered your way through ghouls while laughing like a madman. I always knew what you are, Anderson."
"...you got a kind heart, lamb." He resisted to press a kiss atop of your head, still hearing your feeble snivels. You got a different kind of strenght, one that makes you continue no matter the circumstances. He always admired this about you. "Thanks for leading me through these trying times."
"Just like you did for me." Anderson looks at you for a while longer, and he can't help but think your smile is one of god's greatest miracles.
From this day onwards, the bond you two shared grew even tighter.
Anderson was pleasantly surprised that your courage wasn't just pretend, since the way you acted towards him didn't change in the slightest - even after peeking behind his civilized mask.
What bothers him however is the fact that he cannot seem to stop thinking about you, even when you're far away. Each time he saw you his heart would hammer like a drum in his chest, and suddenly he would lose the ability to form any coherent words.
He must be sick, he thinks. But that was literally impossible. Cursed, maybe? Also no.
Actually, he knew exactly what was going on. He was celibate, usually not prone to affections. But then again, you were special - for better or worse.
So a challenge from god to test his resolve, it is.
You on the other hand were blissfuly unaware of the effect you had on him, though sometimes he felt like you're teasing him on purpose. He'd snap at your friendliness out of nowhere, but quickly apologizes as he can't bear to be the reason for your sadness.
"Hey, big guy" you tug on his coat and he finally looks down, looming over you while scowling. "Are you there?"
"Oi" he murmurs, "You're getting a lil' too comfortable, don'tcha think? I'm still an authorative figure."
You half-pout at his harsh tone, but he's probably right. At least in the public you should treat him with the respect a man of his rank deserves. "I'm sorry, Father..."
"It's fine." The Paladin pats your head to reassure you, yet his gaze always wanders back down to your lips, wondering if they're as soft as they look like-
No. Never. He can't.
"I am needed elsewhere" he frantically shakes his head, hurrying without looking back. "Take care, lamb."
Yes, you're but an innocent lamb for he is a dangerous predator. His soul is already doomed to limbo, but he needs to stay away for your own sake.
"What is his deal lately?" you wonder as you look after him, "Did I do something wrong?"
He behaves even stranger than usual. Barely talks, always buried in thought. Winces whenever you touch, as if he just burned himself on a stove - no, like he was just about to put his hand into hellfire itself.
Noticing the bruise that was currently healing stick out from your sleeve, you figure he must still feel bad about what happened. Ever since that night he seemed so distant, but it was obvious that something was eating him away.
Maybe he just needs more time to understand you accept him with all of his facets.
Anything but acknowledging what turmoil was going on in both your hearts, huh?
It wasn't until a few weeks later, after a particulary bad day, that Anderson would give in to his wish to see you. Another mission had gone south, and talking about it was probably a better way to vent than sticking his bayonett into some poor half-wit.
When he entered the library however, the room was dark and empty. Can't blame you after how he treated you formerly.
He opted to accept your offer to just knock at your door whenever he's in need - something a man of faith like himself would usually say to his believers. It was nice to be at the receiving end for a change, knowing a gentle soul like you wouldn't deny him your help even after he wronged you.
Only when he stood in front of your room he noticed the time - 1am already, middle of the might. You're probably asleep, he shouldn't bother you-
Shuffling from the inside, almost inaudible but not to his keen senses. So you're awake. Good. But just when he was about to knock, the sound of muffled moans reached his ears.
Oh.
Ohhh.
Well, you aren't at fault here. You were raised by heathens, never teached properly. He should leave - no, kick in your door and tell you that this is unacceptable. Or should he tell the nuns to have a talk between women? But then he'd have to explain why he was there in the first place.
"An-der-son...mhh...plea-ah!"
Your voice was barely above a whisper, but it felt like a hammer right to his forehead. He fled the scene in an instant, already feeling guilty for eavesdropping, but the sound of your voice moaning his name continued to echo in his head.
"Fuck" he groaned, cupping his erection through his pants as he laid stiffly on his bed. It's been three cold showers but he was still rock hard, and slowly bur steadily his rationality made space for something more primal. He grips the sheets tight, feverishly trying to keep himself from committing a grave mistake.
There certainly wouldn't be a way back once he gave in to those urges.
The church had ingrained to him that lust was something wrong and dirty. He remembers like it was yesterday that the nuns would regulary check whether his and the other children's hands stayed above their blankets all night.
It's been decades without this sinful deed and while yes, he is not immune to temptations, his will had always been stronger than his flesh.
Until now.
None of it was important to him at that moment. He was aching to be touched, no matter how.
With a shuddered breath he freed his cock from it's confines, a whimper he didn't even know he could vocalize escaping his throat. He fiercely grabs the shaft, the angry tip already red and leaking precum.
Anderson is rough with himself, a mixture of inexperience and shame rushing him to make things quick. His mind wanders back to the way you practically begged for him to fuck you, and he'd be lying if the said it was the first time he had entertained such thoughts.
As he strokes himself, his fantasies wander back and forth between sheer worship and concerning punishment, making path for another kind of obsession that would be even harder to overcome than his bloodlust.
He wants to kiss you. He wants to choke you.
He wants to explore every inch of your body. He wants to cover it in whips and bruises.
He wants to make you feel good. He wants to make you repent.
He wants to hear you moan. He wants to hear you scream and beg for forgiveness.
He wants you to never leave his side. He wants to kill you for doing this to him.
He wants to you to be his in every way possible.
He wants-
Anderson utters vile curses as he came, hips bucking into his flexed hand as he covered his fingers, thighs, stomach up to his chest in his spent.
After the waves of his intense orgasm ebbed down however, there is nothing left but emptiness.
He is exasperated, feeling a million things at once: Anger, confusion, shame, loneliness. He should be more worried to have betrayed his oath, but all he could think of is how painfully he misses your warmth.
He hugs his pillow as he mutely weeps himself to sleep.
Several months later, a few days before christmas eve, Anderson was called to an emergency as a demonic entity was causing mayhem at a nearby town.
Why did it have to be an Incubus of all godforsaken things?!
With everything that has been happening as of late, he was rather vulnerable to the fiend's powers. But he'd be damned to refuse an opportunity like that - especially since his mind couldn't conjure any believable excuse that wouldn't at least partially reveal his dirty little secret.
Cutting you out of his life had felt like removing a tumor, slowly corrupting him from the inside but still being a part of himself.
And it grew back even stronger.
The only times he allowed himself to be around you these days was when the orphans were present. He was civil but reserved towards you, and while you never quite understood what you did to deserve such treatment, you never dared asking either.
Deep inside you had a feeling what this was about, but there was nothing you could do or say to return things to how they have been between you.
There's lines one simply shouldn't cross.
Not that you ever intended to, you were happy as things were. But you both had stepped foot into dangerous territory, gradually overstepping the limits that were acceptable.
And truth be told, Anderson still did.
The fact that you were still so sweet and caring towards him despite all of his shortcomings, all the pain he had caused you, it was eating him alive.
And made it impossible for him to stay away.
At least from afar he would seek out your presence, lingering in the shadows or keeping watch over you from the security of his own room. Though he told himself it was just to assure your safety, he felt guilty each time certain urges would overcome him as he spied, becoming more and more depraved in his attempts to feel close to you.
Anderson rubs his temple as he prays the undignified thoughts away, grabbing the small worn-out bagpack he'd always take to missions with him. He sighs in selfy-pity, finding a box with christmas cookies inside. There's a post-it with your handwriting attached to it, something about how it's a present from the children rather than yourself.
What a convenient lie, he thinks.
He takes one out and treats himself, mentally preparing - rather about having to spend the holidays with you than the upcoming fight. But then the loud beeping on his cellphone tears him away from his thoughts, and he freezes as he sees the name on the display.
It was you. A video-call even. Bloody hell.
Now he was glad that you had showed him how to use this fancy new device, instantly shutting off his own camera to not let his guard down.
"Hello? Anderson?" The screen freezes due to bad connection, but eventually it works. You were wearing a santa-hat, one of the infants on your lap waving at him. He can't help but smile at the endearing sight. "Yes, I'm here" he says in a nonetheless harsh tone, "Take that ridiculous thing off of your head. It's blasphemic."
"Well..." quite timid, you rub the back of your head as you point to the baby. "He just has a hard time sleeping, that's all." It sounds like some cheap excuse to call, but he knows you're being genuine. "Calls out for his 'dada' all the time" you chuckle to cover up your hurt pride. After all, you're with the children 24/7 and yet they're way more attached to their beloved Paladin. "Thought seeing-" you stare at the black screen kind of disappointed, "...or hearing you might help him settle."
You overexaggeratedly roll your eyes at the man. "Oh c'mon, don't be such a kill-joy. It's for the kids!" Oh he's had it with you and your flowery nonsense. Last time you almost made him feel bad for some damn protestants, that's how good you were at defending your naivety. "And what'r ya' doing up this late?"
"I hope I didn't disturb you?" Your eyes widen in bewilderment for a fraction, lips forming an O. "Ye' weren't."
"He'll get used to it over time" Anderson states objectively, "You should've seen Maxwell when he was that age. Was carrying that lil' lad for years, clingy one he was."
"Seriously?" You smirk mischievously, having found something to tease your annoying superior with. "I will never let him live this down."
You surrender your phone to the young boy, smiling dreamily as you hear Anderson half-chant to him in that gruff voice of his until it stopped being entertaining for the child. "I'll try bringing him to bed now, but are you free after?"
Anderson pauses for a while. "You should really go to sleep, lamb. You're overworking yourself."
"Just a few minutes, I promise. I don't want to rob you off your well-deserved sleep either" you wink, not knowing he'd rather stay awake than to be haunted by you in his dreams. It takes you longer than anticipated, though, but Anderson was rooted on spot until you called once again. A mere voice-call this time. That's better, easier if he doesn't have to look at you.
"Thanks for waiting" you greet him, but he brushes it off. "Enough chitchat. What do you want?"
There's a crack in your voice at the sharpness of his words, at the edge with which he chooses to speak. "I...figured after all this time, I deserve an answer to why we've drifted apart."
Anderson lets out a short, ragged breath. "Are- are you alright?" you ask, and it somehow enrages him even more. Why are you continuing to make it so hard for him to do the right thing?! He huffs, voice gravely. "Ya neednt worry 'bouta wrench like me."
"And yet I do" you insist, voice a lot smaller when you ask "So, what did I do wrong?"
"I don't think you could ever do something wrong" he admits softer now, insides churning at the saddened crack in your voice. "Even if you wanted to."
"Then why-" Stopping yourself from saying something unwise, you bite your bottom lip. "I miss you, Father. That's all."
It takes everything in him not to whine at the statement, to break down and confess that you're actually the most important person in his entire life. "I miss you too, ya' know?"
He hears you choke on a sob and clutches the phone tighter, clearing his throat in hopes you don't notice how his own voice is wavering. "Really, dear, you did nothing wrong" he repeats, the nickname leaving his lips faster than his mind can catch up on. "I haven't been myself lately" the priest admits an almost-truth, "Thought you were better of without me burdening you."
"When you offered me to stay at the orphanage back in the day, you said the choice was mine. And now I choose you again." You're fully aware how wrong this sounds, but couldn't care less. "You don't have to go through everything alone, Anderson. Let me be at your side."
"I'm a complicated person, Y/N" he argues, dreading that this won't be the last time he'd deliberately hurt you. "Oh, I know that. That's why I like you, after all. You're authentic, and passionate, and have a kind heart. Isn't that all that counts?"
"...I will be done with my work soon, if everything goes as planned. Back home around midnight." You internally jubilate at his subtle compliance. "And I will be here waiting for you, of course."
Anderson's lips tug into a hopeful smile, shoving all concerns into a dark corner of his mind. Oh, how he's missed your voice, your benevolence, your everything. "Yeah, that would be great."
It's alright - the two of you would rather have each other platonic than not at all.
What could possibly go wrong?
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ofstoriesandstardust · 2 years ago
Text
you’ll lose your faith for a bit and question if she's you (b.r.b.)
a/n: i’ve been working on this for nearly a year. this is my first pride month fully confident and (mostly) open about my bisexuality. i think sometimes it gets taken for granted, knowing/being allowed to explore your sexuality at a young age. therefore, i wanted to write something i saw a little more me in. happy pride month. you’re loved and valid, no matter what label you choose for yourself. 
summary: Rebel has a life-changing realization.
title comes from “you might not like her” by maddie zahm
main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist | same mistakes-verse 
warnings: denial of sexuality, internalized biphobia, mentions of past icemav, MavDad, mentions of DADT, alcohol mentions, swearing,
word count: 4.2k
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"She’s so pretty.”
Hangman shifts, turning to look at you. “I agree.”
“I mean, really, she’s gorgeous.”
“Who’s pretty?” Coyote leans over, looking at the phone. 
“Hailee Steinfeld.” You respond. 
“Second that. Why’re you looking at pictures of her?” 
“I think she was in the movie we watched last night.” Hangman responds, nodding down to his phone, looking through her IMDb.
“Oh, what movie? I’ve probably seen it, I love her.” You ask. 
“That Bumblebee movie. I don’t know, Hangman picked it.” Coyote responds, throwing his hands up in the air. 
You made a face. “God, that’s one of her worst films. Didn’t Dylan O’Brien voice Bumblebee? I can’t remember. Anyways, why would you pick that? She’s in so many better movies. Like the Pitch Perfect franchise does exist. Movie full of pretty women if I’ve ever seen it.”
Hangman turned in his chair fully, face full of confusion. “Why do you keep doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“You keep-ow.” Hangman turned, glaring at his boyfriend. Your eyes flitted between the blonde and your best friend, who had just pinched his boyfriend and was shooting him a look through narrowed eyes. 
“Okay.” You say, laughing nervously. “Moving on. I’m hungry, so... food?” 
-
“Javy, I think your best friend is gay.”
“No shit.” His eyebrow raised in question as his boyfriend shifted to sit up against the headboard. 
“Really? Did I miss the memo?” 
Javy sighs, reaching up to run a hand over his face. “No. I don’t think she knows and it’s not really my place to speculate on her sexuality.” 
Jake watched the rise and fall of his boyfriends bare chest, admiring the glint of the dog tags in the moonlight. “But?”
“But there’s a really good chance she’s bi.” 
“She ever say anything to you over the years?”
He shakes his head, shifting to look at Hangman in the eye. “No, but she’s said all this stuff, like she did this morning, over the years that has just... made me wonder. And she tries so hard to be an ally that sometimes I think she’s compensating for something.” Hangman reaches a hand out to his boyfriend, intertwining their fingers. “I tried once, about a month after we came out to the team. She was super defensive, adamant she was straight, and got pretty panicked so I dropped it. Haven’t brought it up since.” Jake catches his bottom teeth in his lips as he let out a sigh. 
“So basically she’s so far in the closet she can’t even see it?” Javy shrugs. 
“Maybe. Like I said, not my place to speculate. She’ll figure out or she won’t. That’s up to her.” 
“Yeah, but don’t you think she’d be happier? If she knew that about herself?” 
“Maybe. Maybe not. Why are you so interested in my best friend’s sexuality all of the sudden?” 
He sighs, letting his boyfriends hand drop as he moves to place his back against the headboard, crossing his arms. “Because. I remember what it was like to be so far in the closet the mere suggestion of being anything but straight made me want to run for the hills. Made me want shove anyone who suggested it off my plane over an ocean.” He tilts his head, looking to his boyfriend. “I also know that when I stopped hiding from who I was, stopped being scared, I was a lot happier. Felt a lot freer.” He swallows, reaching out to pick off a piece of lint from his sweatpants. “I also know she carries a lot of weight.” 
“I just don’t know what she’s running from. If she is, I mean. Maverick would love and support her, so would Rooster. We would obviously and she doesn’t have a thing to worry about with the rest of the team.” 
“Maybe she thinks Rooster will break-up with her. Kind of a life-changing realization, you know?” 
“Rooster’s down bad for her, he ain’t going anywhere.”
“Not if she’s not into men.” 
Javy moves, pushing himself off the headboard. 
“You really think that?” The words are sharp, a little bit defensive, and Jake winces. “You, what, think she just stays with him because she loves him but that’s not enough?” 
“No, Javy-”
“Then what, Jake? Think she’s got some internalized biphobia she’s projecting on to herself? This is my best friend you’re talking about.” 
“Maybe she is Javy.” Jake whispers and Javy roll his eyes, reaching over to grab a pillow. “Hey, where are you going?” He asks as Coyote moves off the bed and towards the door. 
“Sleeping on the couch. Don’t wanna hear this about her.” 
“Javy, c’mon, come back. We don’t need to fight about this.” Javy spins on his heel. 
“You drop it. Doesn’t matter whether she is or isn’t. Isn’t either of our places to discuss this or bring it up to her.” 
Jake sighs. “I just think that maybe she’d be happier.” 
“Regardless if she is or isn’t, she needs to figure that out on her own.” Coyote says firmly, but he’s already inching back towards the bed as Jake watches him carefully. 
He throws his hands up into the air in surrender. “Fine, I’ll drop it. Please just come back to bed.” Javy nods, already climbing back onto the mattress, bouncing softly in Hangman’s awaiting arms.
-
You’re standing at the bar, talking to Penny amidst the loud chatter of the Hard Deck when Hangman slips an arm around you. He bends closer to your ear, words hushed. 
“Hey, can I talk to you outside?” You nod, picking your beer up from the counter and waving to Penny as she moves farther down to serve other customers. You follow Hangman, weaving your way through the crowd, and once outside, you’re quick to slip off your shoes as you reach the sand. He nods his head to further down the beach. “Wanna go sit?”
“Sure.” You say, taking a sip of your beer. You follow him to a good distance away from the Hard Deck and follow his lead, settling into the sand. He sighs, setting his beer on the sand and bringing his arms to rest on his knees. 
“Listen, um, we gotta talk about something.” You swallow, setting your drink down as well. 
“Okay.” 
He sighs, rubbing his hands together. “Before I came out, before I met Javy, I was... I was very in denial about who I was. Kept thinking something was wrong with me and kept screwing all these girls just to prove I was straight. I don’t know who I was trying to prove it to, myself maybe. And that shit... it was lonely. It was a heavy burden to carry. I’m glad I don’t have to anymore.” 
You watch him carefully. Contrary to popular belief, you and Hangman were actually quite close. He’d never be Coyote but he knew when to keep it real with you and you appreciated the realness of your friendship more than anything. 
Weird how things changed. 
“How’d you know?” You hear yourself asking. You aren’t sure why. You’re straight. 
“I don’t know, I guess when I met Javy I had this oh moment. Everything about me sort of made sense. I was still a few years out from learning to deal with it but something clicked.” 
You bit your bottom lip, turning his words over in his head. You still weren’t sure why the two of you were having this conversation. “Where you going with this Hangman?”
“Do you ever feel that way? Like you have to prove something to yourself or that you’re carrying a heavy burden? Waiting for an oh moment?” You give a half-shrug, mouth gaping open. He sighs again, sitting back to rest on his palms. His gaze moves from you to the full moon on the horizon. “Are you gay?”
Your breath gets caught in your throat. You don’t respond, simply looking at him with wide eyes. He finally drags his gaze backs to you but holds firm, unwilling to back down. Finally, you force yourself to start breathing again, coughing nervously. You shake your head, looking down at the sand. “N-no, I’m not Seresin.” 
“It’d be okay, if you were.” 
“Yes, I’m very aware that it would be. But I’m not.” He tilts his head in acknowledgement and begins to stand up from the sand. All you can do is watch him. 
“Okay, well, I mean, it just wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if you were into girls.” 
“I’m straight Seresin.” 
You were... weren’t you?
“Yeah, I’m sure you are.” He picks his beer up from the sand, turning on his heel to head back towards the bar. You sit there bewildered, turning his words over in your head. 
Still, there was some part of you that felt unsettled. Like Jake had prodded at something dormant just enough to wake it up.
-
You sat on your bed, trying to remember what you were doing. You groaned, running a hand over your face. A soft knock sounded at your door and you looked up to see Rooster leaning against the open door. His smile was soft but you’d known him long enough to see the concern in his eyes. 
“Hey.” You whisper softly. 
Ever since your conversation with Hangman, one that hadn’t really been a conversation at all, things in your world felt off-kilter. You felt like you were waiting for the band to snap, like for the realization to come, the thing that would change everything as you knew it. You’d been sick to your stomach most days, unable to sleep. 
Admittedly, you had always wondered. Maybe a little bit more so after Javy had come out. But there was never enough to prove to yourself that you were that you had always brushed the thought off, burying it deep down. And now it was resurfacing in waves, questions and fears drowning you. 
You weren’t... You were straight. You were sure of it.
...Right?
“-you listening?” You shake your head, eyes flickering back up to your boyfriend. His smile was still there but you could tell it was more forced than anything. 
“Yeah, sorry, just zoned out for a minute.” You say, waving a hand. “What were you saying?” 
He sighs, straightening up and crossing his arms. “Coyote told me you bailed. Third time this week. He’s worried.” 
You shrug. “Just needed some time to myself.” He nods slowly, as if he doesn’t quite believe you. 
You wouldn't believe you either. 
“Hey, are you okay? You haven’t really been yourself lately.”
“Yeah, ‘m fine.” You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear as you hear your Dad’s footsteps in the hallway. He appears just a few moments later over Rooster’s shoulder and he shifts to allow him room to lean up against the other side of the doorway. 
“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come out to the hangar tomorrow? For the long weekend?” You nod, even though it’s the last thing you want to do with how messy your brain has been lately. 
“Sure.” You look to your boyfriend. “Want to come with us?” Your Dad sighs, straightening up, shoving his hands in his pockets. 
“Actually, I was thinking it could be just us kiddo.” 
“Oh.” You say, frowning slightly. “Am I in trouble?” He shakes his head. 
“No. Hey, you okay? You got anything you want to talk about?” 
“Why does everyone keep asking me that? I’m fine.”
Just like how you’re straight?
You brush the thought off, moving to stand up from the bed. “I beg to differ.” Rooster mutters and you shoot him a glare. 
“I’m fine. Now I’m tired so if the two of you would kindly-” You motion for them to shoo and they both sigh, exchanging a glance. 
“Its like... 7 PM.” Your Dad says, glancing at his watch. 
“Well- I’m exhausted, so I’m going to bed early.” 
Exhausted of running from who you are?
Rooster gives you a wary look before conceding, moving a few feet to give you a kiss. It’s short and feels forced and sends a wave of cold over you. He grimaces as he pulls away and doesn’t say anything as he steps back, slipping past your Dad. Your Dad sighs, stepping back and closing your bedroom door behind him. You sit back down on your bed, trying to swallow the tears.
-
You watch as your Dad swings his leg over his chair, settling back with his coffee in one hand and the paper in the other. 
Who still reads the paper?
Who denies their sexuality?
You swallow, looking up at your Dad. The two of you were meant to drive back tonight and if you wanted to have this conversation, your window was quickly closing. 
“Hey Dad?” He hums, not looking up from his paper. “Did you ever... Were you ever...” 
“Spit the question out kiddo.” He says with a chuckle, eyes still skimming over the paper. 
You take a deep breath, trying to steel yourself to ask what is a mildly inappropriate question. 
Still, you’d always looked to your Dad for guidance and if anybody would have some to offer you right now, it’d be him.
“Were you ever with a man?” 
He grunts. “Where is this going?” 
“Humor me, please?” 
“Does this have to do with why you haven’t been acting like yourself lately?” 
“Yeah.” 
He sighs. “Yeah, I was, but-”
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. My real question is- Well, how did you know? that you were like... interested.” 
He tilts his head as he finally meets your gaze. “My story is a bit more like Jake’s. For so long, I hid any part of me that thought I might feel that way and then-” His face raises in a smile, clearly thinking back to some happier memory. “Then I met someone who changed all that. Everything just felt right with him and suddenly that part of myself I tried to keep hidden from myself and the world clicked into place. It stopped feeling like something was missing.” 
A silence falls between the two of you a you turn the words over in your head and he turns back to his paper. 
“Were you and Ice ever...” You wave your hand as he looks up at you, pausing mid-sip. “Together?” He sighs, and carefully sets both of them on the table in front of him. He eyes you carefully from where your back is pressed up the feet of the other chair, making a home on the rug placed in the hangar. 
“Yeah, we were.” 
“Oh.” You hear yourself saying, ears ringing with finally getting the truth after years. 
“That’s it?” 
You shrug. “Well, I mean I always suspected but I don’t know-” He nods, still looking at you ever intently as you begin to pick at the rug. 
“Yeah, we got together after that photo of us was taken. You know the one.”
You did.
“Anyways, we were together for a few years, but- it was hard. Especially with Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. I’ve loved your godfather, and I did until the day he died. But it was hard, being in the Navy, dealing with Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and we both agreed it was better to love each other and still be friends than go down in ruins. Was going to tell you but you got older and closer with Ice and it just- never came up.” 
You swallow, nodding. “Cool.” 
“Is everything okay?” You sit there for a moment, turning everything over in your head. You knew, but you were so scared. It was like two sides of you were warring, what you knew desperately fighting with what you feared. “Hey, talk to me kiddo. What’s going on?” 
You continued to sit there, tears beginning to form. Finally, you found the courage to say the words that were right there-
“Dad, I think I’m bi.” 
The words are no more than a whisper but he hears them all the same. He didn’t say anything, just continued to observe you. A few more tears begin to slip down your face, and then a few more, and then more, and soon you were struggling to wipe them all away as your Dad stood up from his seat to sit on the floor with you. He’s quick to wrap you in a hug, a kiss being placed to the top of your head. 
“Sweetheart, it’s okay.” 
You shake your head, swallowing. “It’s not.” You whisper. He holds you close, tucking your head into his shoulder. “How can it be okay? I’m in my fucking 30′s, in a long-term committed relationship with the person I want to marry, and I figure out I’m into women. It changes everything.” 
“It doesn’t have to.” He whispers. 
“How could it not?” Your voice is thick, the tears still bubbling out of you. “He’s gonna hate me, like I lied or-”
“Hey.” He says firmly, adjusting you to be able to look you in the eye while still holding on you. “Give Brad a little more credit than that, please. He’s loved every part of you since you were kids and through all your years apart. He’s going to love this part of you too.” 
“I’m bisexual.” You whisper, the words prompting a new round of tears. “It feels really good to say that.” 
Your Dad pulls you back to his chest, squeezing you tight. “I’m glad you’ve finally found yoruself.”
-
You glance up from your phone, the text from Bradley sitting on your phone like it’s taunting you. 
Text me when you get home please.
I love you.
“This isn’t our house.”
Your Dad turns the ignition off. “Nope.” 
You blink, turning to your Dad. “Are you really making me have this conversation with him now?” 
He shrugs. “You can tell Brad whatever you want, but I figured you'd probably want to see him.” 
You sigh, sliding your seatbelt off. As always, your Dad was right. 
You did want to see Bradley. You longed for a hug and for him to tell you that everything would be alright, that he’d still love you just like he always had. 
“And kid?” 
You pause, looking up at him as you climb out of the car. 
“Yeah?” 
“I’m really proud of you.” 
You swallow. 
“Thanks Dad.”
You climb out out the car, giving your Dad a wave as he drives off you. You sigh, pulling out your keys and thumbing through until you find the one that you had had since you were eleven years old, the key you’d never let go of, even in the years you didn’t speak to the person who inhabited this home. 
You blink tears away at the thought it may one day become your home. That tonight could mean it would never be your home. 
“Bradley?” You call out, toeing your shoes off by the entryway, straining for the sounds of him. 
“In the kitchen, honey.” He calls back and you can hear him moving around. You enter the kitchen, hovering by the door. 
Bradley’s cooking, sitting something on the stove, a towel slung on his shoulder as he tastes the sauce. He perks up at the sight of you, smiling. “Hey honey.”
“Hi. Sorry for dropping by unannounced.” 
He shakes his head, holding a hand out for you. “You’re never a bother. Come try the sauce. Tash sent me the recipe for her grandmother’s and I’ve been tweaking it to perfection.” 
He holds out the spoon for you to take but all you can do is stare. 
“We need to talk.” 
Bradley swallows, pulling back slowly. “Okay...” He trails off, leaning over to turn the stove off. “Do you want talk about it over dinner?”
You shake your head, glancing at the food. It looks and smells incredible, but you feel like throwing up, feeling the truth claw it’s way out of your throat on it’s own. 
“Now please?” You say, voice cracking. 
He nods. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it.”
He looks so earnest and honest in his words, so sure that whatever you have to say to him couldn’t change how he feels about you, that you start to believe it too. 
You feel the tears stinging at your eyes as Bradley waits patiently. 
“I’m not- I don’t mean to spring this on you or- or- I don’t want you to think I’ve lied about this or intentionally hid it from you-”
He grabs your hand, squeezing it before running his thumb over your knuckles. “Honey, you’re okay.” He whispers, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “It’s okay, whatever it is, it’s okay.” 
You take a shuddering breath, leaning into his smell and the way he feels like home. 
“Bradley, I’m- I’m bisexual.” You whisper. 
It feels as though all sound is cut off as you watch him intently, not sure if seconds or hours ar epassing, anxiously waiting for him to tell you that he just couldn’t be with someone like that. 
Rationally, you knew he’d never do that to you. You hoped he’d still love you just as you are, even with this new discovery of yours. 
“If you wanna break up with me, I’d understand.” 
Bradley’s face falls and he pulls you into a hug. “Oh, honey, no.” 
You wrap your arms around him, desperate to find some sort of comfort. 
“Honey, this would never, ever change how I feel about you or what we have. How could it? This is just one more part of you that I get to love and I’m so glad it’s something you were able to discover about yourself. I’m so happy you felt like you could share it with me.” 
You swallow, tears still brimming in your eyes as you pull back to look him in the eye. 
This time though, it wasn’t from fear but from the feeling sitting in you at the way he looked at you. 
He gives you a soft smile, one of his hands reaching up to move some of your hair. “Besides, I’ve always had a suspicion.” 
You raise an eyebrow, letting out a choked laugh. “You did? How?” 
“Do you remember your friend Lexi from high school? Yeah, no one was ever really sure you two were just friends.” 
“What?” You question. “I wasn’t into her like that.” 
“Well, now I know that, but back then...” He shrugs, leaning up against the countertop. “I don’t know, Sli used to have this theory you were just dating Ben as a cover.” 
“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” You mutter, reaching up to brush some of the tears away with a shake of your head. 
Bradley smiles softly, knowing there's no real heat behind your statement. Your Uncle Slider had always been able to see things in a way no one else could, reading past the lies and bullshit. 
Maybe the years of putting up with Mav and Ice had taught him how. 
“Do you feel better?”
You nod, leaning into his touch. “Feels like a weight has been lifted, I guess. Like everything makes sense.”
He ducks to press a kiss to your cheek. “Good. That’s how it should be.” He turns back to the stove, retrieving his spoon. “Will you try the sauce now?” 
You quirk an eyebrow, letting out a watery chuckle. “I have to admit I was expecting us to have a longer discussion about this.” You say, although you take the spoon anyways. 
He shrugs as he places the spoon in the sink after you nod, giving him your approval. “It doesn’t have to be. It can just be as simple as that if you want it to be.” He pauses, facing you. “Why? Do you want us to have a longer conversation about it?” 
You give a half-shrug, sighing. “Not- not really? It doesn’t change anything for me, I still love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you still want that, of course.” 
He sighs, reaching out for you again. “I want to be here however long you want me here. You trusted me with something deeply personal and that means so much to me. I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not ever.” 
You take his, intertwining your fingers with his. “I know.” You whisper. 
He smiles. “Good.” He turns back to the stove. “Now, let’s get some food in you. Can’t imagine Mav cooked anything halfway decent this weekend.” 
You laugh, reaching for the bowls out of the cabinet so Bradley can scoop the pasta up into the ceramic dishes. He tells you about his weekend as the two of you settle in the couch, close to one another. Bradley’s body heat isn’t the only reason feel warmth, the love you feel brining a certain type of peace you rarely experienced. 
Later, after the two of you have had a couple of glasses of wine and are on your second helping of food, you remember your conversation with your Dad earlier in the day. 
You pause in your bite, fork halfway to your mouth. “By the way, I learned something today about Dad.” 
“Hm?” He prompts, shoving a bite of pasta in his mouth. 
“He and Ice hooked up in ‘86.” 
Bradley chokes. 
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gothearts · 6 months ago
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What's Sera and Adam's relationship like in Heaven? How does it change after he falls?
Post fall is sort of complicated to answer right now given how little I've put out of my au, so you're not going to get the FULL context until I finish putting out all of the characters. I'll do my best to give an abridged explanation ahdshdkjshdskjshskjh Sera was fond of Adam. It's not too far off from canon where she's weary of his behavior, but it's more in the direction of her worrying for just how spiteful he can be, trying to constantly reel him back in and dismiss the negativity. She knows what happens when someone is no longer deemed useful to heaven. She's been through it three times now. He lets the truth of the extermination slip, and she knows that she can no longer save him. He's now become a liability. At that point she would withdraw and refocus her efforts on Emily, as detached as it may seem. She can't dwell for her own well being and ability to uphold her roll in maintaining order. She doesn't know he's in hell. She thinks he's dead. As far as she knows, only angels can fall. Winners have never been slain and Sinners who had previously been reset are reincarnated just to lead the same sinful lives, leading to the notion that a soul cannot be changed, bringing forth the extermination. (There were no attempts to rehabilitate these souls prior, just a reset that still bore scars on the soul from past lives. Like reincarnation.) Adam is gone and Adam has failed, meaning that from what she knows, she'll never see him again. That's what she would respond with whenever Emily would bring it up, using him as a cautionary tale to keep Emily from questioning the will of heaven further. It does tear her up inside. That's four losses now. But she knows that if she cracks and shows the pain she's experiencing, she could be deemed unfit to uphold her role, being cast out too. Seraphiel from the book of Enoch, who she represents in my au, is a seraphim dedicated to the care of those below him. Therefore, so is Sera. She loved Adam as if he were hers, because that's how she views all of God's creation. It's her job to guide and nurture, The loss of Adam likely is the last blow to steel her heart, causing her to have no tolerance for Emily's dreams, deeming it necessary to guide her. It also results in cracking down further on Charlie, doing all she knows how to in order to keep her own people safe. As for Adam, the first betrayal comes when he calls for backup and nobody answers, leading to his demise aka fall. He's in denial at first that Sera hasn't came to save him. He likely has one of those "she's coming, you'll see!" moments that lead to him slowly wearing down as days turn to weeks until he has to accept that he's stuck here and what happened was not a mistake on heaven's behalf. They left him to die. It's a harsh realization that the kingdom you dedicated the last several millennia of your existence to does not hold unconditional love for you, and by extension, neither does Sera despite her intentions. As much as he loved Sera, being at the hotel and experiencing life without the constant pressure of someone expecting you to repress your misplaced anger instead of helping you through it as a true nurturer should, causes him to stop yearning for his own redemption. He's finding it here. Ironically in Hell. Angels only know how to repress because exploration is what lead to Lucifer's own downfall, and every being in heaven lives by that. But here, he gets to work through all the turmoil he's been caused and has caused. And the more he looks back on life on heaven with her, the more he realizes how miserable it was. The memories become bittersweet. The only thing their relationship ends up amounting to, is being the catalyst for him to rise above the future she unintentionally helped push him to succumb to. He can change and finally learn to let go. They will meet again, but that's writing for the future as i'm still fleshing out the first act, and this is like... third act stuff.
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jubileemon · 10 months ago
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Original Man Adam Theory
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It's possible that Adam went to Heaven not because he was a virtuous person who abstained from sinning but because of lack of temptation. If we go through the list of deadly sins and biblical account of what happened after The Fall, he couldn't commit any of them. Pride? Of what? He got cowed by God very hard. Greed? Gluttony? Sloth? He is forced to toil away every day for basic sustenance, there is no wealth to hoard, not enough food to gorge on, and if he is lazy, he'll starve to death.
Lust? There is only one woman he can lust over and that woman is Eve. We call that faithfulness in marriage. Wrath? Envy? Again, against whom? The first victim of those is Abel. He does commit every single one of them after death, though.
Rather fittingly, Adam has been shown to possess several of the Seven Deadly Sins from Charlie's time speaking to him. He pridefully boasts about how superior he is at things to people, lustfully talks about how he convinced another angel to sleep with him, mentions that he got annoyed over said angel wanting another one of his band members instead of him (implying he was envious he wasn't her first pick), got angry over one angel getting killed compared to the thousands of demons he kills every year and gluttonously wolfs down a pack of ribs while meeting with Charlie, is the one angel greedily wearing mostly gold clothes (and actually has golden horns as ornaments in his fashion getup), and is too lazy to make an appearance in person, instead using a hologram since he couldn't be bothered to actually talk to the princess of Hell and hear what she has to say. And, again, rather fittingly, because he's an angel, he doesn't see the irony in any of this.
What's even more ironic is Charlie is shown to possess all of the Seven Virtues despite being a demon and the daughter of Lucifer. Again, Adam and Lute are both such petty jackasses that they don't see the irony in this.
In a way, Adam can be seen as a representation of corrupt religious figures: because he's on the side of good, it means he can't be wrong, that he can get away with anything, etc while preaching to others and looking down upon them for their faults, perceived or otherwise. Conversely, Emily represents the virtuous religious figures, being kind, understanding and open-minded to all she meets, yet is quick to condemn legitimate wrongdoing even when it comes from those she previously trusted/saw as good people, even agreeing with Charlie - the Princess of Hell - that Heaven's practices aren't as lofty as they preach.
Ironically enough, that seems to imply Lucifer bringing free will and the creation of hell was. In hindsight, a huge improvement for everybody involved despite appearances. Because evil exists and now people would not be inherently sent to heaven just for preaching loyalty now, people would be capable of understanding evil and choose not to indulge into it. By resisting sin or even learning from the failures, there's now the chance ascended mortals would have a chance of being actually good people who made the right choices even if the process is still far from perfect. Adam is essentially a pampered child coddled from evil, so now he believes anything he does is justified. Has anyone just simply gone straight to heaven without understanding evil, Heaven would be probably just as much of a bad place as hell currently is.
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There's another heavenly mortal within heaven's files: St. Peter himself. Despite being Jesus' apostle, Peter was a victim of many evils in life and also made a fair share of mistakes, with his denial of Jesus being one of the most notable. He had to interact with sin and temptation for all his life and likely also making his share of blunders which he repented greatly. But rather than make him a horrible sinner those events actually made him a stronger, nicer, much more complete person. As such when he's a heaven's gate he's presented as a Nice Guy and very reasonable person unlike the sheltered Adam.
But while Adam says that he never made a mistake in his life, Peter double checks if there was a mistake with Charlie's appointment until he finds out she was correct , and then he proceeds. While it's not explicitly stated, this showcases that Peter is capable of admitting his mistakes. Recognizing a wrongdoing and repenting is a crucial part of salvation.
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another-corpo-rat · 1 year ago
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for the alternate love interests... okay i have several to ask for victoria... hanako arasaka... arthur jenkins... bryce mosley... alt cunningham (also apparently i had my asks turned off lol... didn't even realize)
i have, once again to the surprise of no one, rambled like a mother fucker in response. i apologise 😔
Hanako Arasaka
In brief they wouldn't work - like at all, but you know i love over-explaining: I touched on this in the Michiko ask but: Victoria has no innate love or respect for the Arasaka family. Though she'll certainly play her part as the respectful underling, she doesn't view them as Gods Among Men but painfully human, as fallible, as prone to death and mistakes as she is. And her opinions on Hanako are less flattering still; she sees her as a figurehead, pretty to look at and well-trained on what words and tone to use. And sure, she's a splendid netrunner - but it's easy to hone a skill when you have all-day, every-day to commit to it - Victoria holds more respect for the interns in counter-intel, whose lives are actually at risk when they get into the chair.
She might have garnered some respect for the Arasaka daughter after Saburo died and she was left to forge her own path - but the moment Hanako reveals Saburo's play and involvement? It all goes down the drain. Solidifies Victoria's view of the woman as little more than a pretty parrot.
Hanako, meanwhile, I believe would see Victoria as just another rank and file corpo, another suit who wants nothing more than to climb impossibly higher and higher even to their detriment. And she'll promise that with a smile, a gentle nod, steer their conversation into emotional territory because emotions are easy to wrangle - and she thinks by that furrow in Crane's brow that she's got her.
She sees Victoria as a fool for siding so publicly with Michiko, says as much with a gentle tone, like a parent asking their child why they've done something so naughty. Gives her the whole spiel about being Arasaka's heart, family and bloodshed, perhaps believing that Victoria's resentment of her dead half-brother was a passion thing, that she did it through a strong sense of family worth that Angelo ruined with his very existence. It's a severe misunderstanding of character on both their parts.
They have such low views of one another that they'd never get along or understand each other beyond pretense, but it's made especially worse when Victoria deliberately kills Yorinobu against Hanako's wishes.
Arthur Jenkins
I genuinely had to consider this for a bit, cos they'd be an interesting pairing - but in the way it's interesting to watch a spider web up a fly. Victoria, if she considered Jenkins as anything but a headache, would probably find some joy in fucking with him; encouraging his worst ideas in a subtle enough way that she could claim denial when it'd inevitably comes back to bite him, keeping enough of a distance that people wouldn't assume they're associated in any way beyond the thinnest threads of employment.
And Jenkins, well I imagine it'd play into a powertrip for him, a torrid, tense affair where he's cucking Adam fucking Smasher - it'd preen at his pride, make him feel a little bit invincible for a while. The apparent secrecy a thrill. Until Victoria grows bored, deigning him painfully predictable and moving on, sparing him nary a thought until he tries to wave his dick around, use his position against her, threatening to make Smasher aware-
it wouldn't end well for Jenkins, but when does it ever?
Bryce Mosley
I'll admit I haven't dug into Mosley all that much besides what we know from the Placide mission, BUT!!
He and Victoria have definitely rubbed elbows, mixed together at some corporate events - really it was inevitable that their circles would overlap eventually and they get to talking over over-priced champagne while people-watching; ever observant even on their time off.
They'd flirt, make eyes, but both are equally wary of each other - both know how loyal the other is to their respective companies, and that the other is prying in indirect ways, looking for a drip of information, an admission of doing things they shouldn't (ie Victoria breaching the Blackwall once a decade or so-). It could get physical now and then - a supposed one-night stand that reoccurs more than it should; when a party is too boring and nothing interesting to be learned, they retreat into each other's company - but it is purely physical. Trust is the one thing corpos can't really afford, especially when another corporation is involved.
so, as a sexual partner? 100% but a genuine love interest? not a chance.
Alt Cunningham
they absolutely wouldn't work out- like even less than Victoria/Hanako - but I think they'd have…something. i reckon they might have known each other back when Alt was still a human, before Johnny fucked her over forever and condemned her to a digital purgatory - there was something of a respect there, but begrudging on both ends if even acknowledged - at least where their respective netrunning skills were concerned. As people? Not even a fractal of it.
Victoria knows what happened to Alt, met her beyond the Blackwall shortly after it happened and she can't decide if she's terrified of sharing such a fate or not; digital godhood is appealing in concept but she doubts its so easy in practicality; Alt confirms that. They manage to converse in those years, reach an understanding that was impossible in their humanity. It's odd how civil they manage to be - when Alt despises Arasaka and Victoria is viciously protective of it; but odder things have happened.
(idk if i'll ever write it but i'd love for them to have a discussion on humanity, and their respective lack of it after Victoria becomes a 'borg)
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loser-female · 8 months ago
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In January, the World Economic Forum released a report showing that fourteen hundred and ninety international experts rated “misinformation and disinformation” the leading global risk of the next two years, surpassing war, migration, and climatic catastrophe. A stack of new books echoes their concerns. In “Falsehoods Fly: Why Misinformation Spreads and How to Stop It” (Columbia), Paul Thagard, a philosopher at the University of Waterloo, writes that “misinformation is threatening medicine, science, politics, social justice, and international relations, affecting problems such as vaccine hesitancy, climate change denial, conspiracy theories, claims of racial inferiority, and the Russian invasion of Ukraine.” In “Foolproof: Why Misinformation Infects Our Minds and How to Build Immunity” (Norton), Sander van der Linden, a social-psychology professor at Cambridge, warns that “viruses of the mind” disseminated by false tweets and misleading headlines pose “serious threats to the integrity of elections and democracies worldwide.” Or, as the M.I.T. political scientist Adam J. Berinsky puts it in “Political Rumors: Why We Accept Misinformation and How to Fight It” (Princeton), “a democracy where falsehoods run rampant can only result in dysfunction.”
[...]
Their behavior demonstrates a paradox of belief. Action is supposed to follow belief, and yet beliefs, even fervently espoused ones, sometimes exist in their own cognitive cage, with little influence over behavior.
[...]
Staying with the Dorze people in southern Ethiopia, he noticed that they made assertions that they seemed both to believe and not to believe. People told him, for example, that “the leopard is a Christian animal who observes the fasts of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church.” Nevertheless, the average Dorze man guarded his livestock on fast days just as much as on other days. “Not because he suspects some leopards of being bad Christians,” Sperber wrote, “but because he takes it as true both that leopards fast and that they are always dangerous.”
Sperber concluded that there are two kinds of beliefs. The first he has called “factual” beliefs. Factual beliefs—such as the belief that chairs exist and that leopards are dangerous—guide behavior and tolerate little inconsistency; you can’t believe that leopards do and do not eat livestock. The second category he has called “symbolic” beliefs. These beliefs might feel genuine, but they’re cordoned off from action and expectation. We are, in turn, much more accepting of inconsistency when it comes to symbolic beliefs; we can believe, say, that God is all-powerful and good while allowing for the existence of evil and suffering.
[...]
In a masterly new book, “Religion as Make-Believe” (Harvard), Neil Van Leeuwen, a philosopher at Georgia State University, returns to Sperber’s ideas with notable rigor. He analyzes beliefs with a taxonomist’s care, classifying different types and identifying the properties that distinguish them. He proposes that humans represent and use factual beliefs differently from symbolic beliefs, which he terms “credences.” Factual beliefs are for modelling reality and behaving optimally within it. Because of their function in guiding action, they exhibit features like “involuntariness” (you can’t decide to adopt them) and “evidential vulnerability” (they respond to evidence). Symbolic beliefs, meanwhile, largely serve social ends, not epistemic ones, so we can hold them even in the face of contradictory evidence.
One of Van Leeuwen’s insights is that people distinguish between different categories of belief in everyday speech. We say we “believe” symbolic ones but that we “think” factual ones are true.
[...]
Van Leeuwen and Mercier agree that many beliefs are not best interpreted as factual ones, although they lay out different reasons for why this might be. For Van Leeuwen, a major driver is group identity. Beliefs often function as badges: the stranger and more unsubstantiated the better. Religions, he notes, define membership on the basis of unverifiable or even unintelligible beliefs: that there is one God; that there is reincarnation; that this or that person was a prophet; that the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are separate yet one. Mercier, in his work, has focussed more on justification. He says that we have intuitions—that vaccination is bad, for example, or that certain politicians can’t be trusted—and then collect stories that defend our positions. Still, both authors treat symbolic beliefs as socially strategic expressions.
(read the whole thing, I extracted the juice here)
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alargehunkofdebris · 1 year ago
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A Theory: Aziraphale in the Fandom of Love
So here’s my newest out-there theory on my absolute favourite character to analyze, Aziraphale, whomst I relate to on so many levels, good and bad. And that theory is, to Aziraphale, the concept of love is what Good Omens is to us.
Here me out. It’s a bit out-there, but I have my reasonings. 
So, in the scene where Beelzebub and Gabriel take hands, we all zoomeyesed on that arm touch that Aziraphale gave Crowley. And then, afterwards, that absolutely melting look he also gives Crowley. And I, like everyone else, immediately thought yep, that is The Look. The “let’s be them” look. The “I’m ready for what they have” look. The “Yep, I am nowhere near in denial any longer, the moment everyone’s out of here it’s confessing time” look.
And yet…and yet…
In The Scene that follows, it’s almost as though Aziraphale is absolutely, one hundred percent, in-one-ear-out-the-other not getting it. Even when Crowley is literally saying, verbatim, the words a person says when they’re proposing marriage (he doesn’t get the whole sentence out, but my God, Aziraphale gets licences for fun, I’d bet money he’s an ordained minister, along with having likely read every romance novel in existence.) Aziraphale is either just not listening…or he’s still completely, utterly oblivious to the direction Crowley is heading.
And then, when the kiss happens, it seems like that, too, is absolutely a shock to him. I’ve written a whole analysis on what he feels here already, but this is a slightly different theory. This is the “Aziraphale is absolutely clueless” theory. In this theory, Aziraphale did not know, at all, that Crowley was feeling like this towards him, and didn’t even consider it an option. It might be repressed, subconscious, whatever, but here, we’re arguing that consciously, Aziraphale is blind, totally, to the possibility of a relationship with Crowley, and that kiss came from absolutely nowhere.
This is somewhat of a stretch, I know. But in this theory, Aziraphale has just never considered himself as a being who can be in a relationship—or, perhaps, that Crowley would ever want a relationship with him—and so his mind simply never goes there. When Shax mentions he and Crowley as an item, he hears it as “Ah yes, an item, as in friends!” He’s so used to this idea that he and Crowley are partners in the business sense, and so used to repressing any inkling of something further, he just does not compute when someone mentions anything else. His brain autocorrects any innuendo to “friends! :D” because for 6000 years, being friends was scandalous enough.
So then, what about the arm touch? What about that happy look he gives Crowley? What about the joy at the ball? What the heck was all that?
Because—and this is a really funny thought to me—I’m mooting (heh) that Aziraphale, in his repressed, I’m-a-being-of-love-but-only-from-the-sidelines way, is simply a fan of love.
Actually, let me go further. He and Crowley, in his mind, are both the biggest members of the Love Fandom. They watch, as fans might watch a TV show, as love happens to other people.
That’s what the whole ball was. That’s what the whole Nina and Maggie thing was. Aziraphale was so happy because he and his best friend were actively engaging in their favourite fandom. They’d been doing it for eons – ever since Adam and Eve.
So when Gabriel and Beelzebub held hands, Aziraphale grabbed Crowley’s arm, not in a omg it could be us way, but in a omg I can’t believe this rarepair is actually canon way. When he gazed with adoration at Crowley, his dumb brain is simply thrilled that his friend is as obsessed with this moment as he is. Because in his mind, he’s the bigger fan (being of love, remember?) and Crowley is the person he’d dragged along with much protest. Who hasn’t felt that thrill when a friend, who’d sworn up and down they wouldn’t like it, actually ended up loving the show or game or movie you recommended?
This theory might not work with other scenes, I don’t know. But the more I think about it, the more I can see it actually being a possibility. And it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings for Crowley—he’s just so unaware of them that he attributes every single one as just “ah yes, the normal feelings one would feel when consuming their favourite content.” It’s the “I love this show/movie/whatever deeply, but only because it’s the one me and my beloved watch together” effect. It’s made even more complicated, of course, because he’d attribute any huge bursts of love he feels for Crowley in these moments as love by proxy from the people they’re watching.
That’s the meta in this meta. Aziraphale, bless his idiotic, misguided heart, is also watching Good Omens. He’s also shipping his favourite characters, and being stunned when the most unexpected couple becomes canon. He’s excitedly throwing a Love Con (the ball) and writing fanfiction (“today me and Crowley met these two friends and they loved each other, but one died in the others arms and it was terribly sad…”) and drawing fanart (sure, he had a reason for drawing Gabriel, but he knows how to use a phone and drive a car – he’d know how to use a camera. This is of course before he knew Gabriel and Beelzebub was a thing, but man it’s a funny thought.)
Yes, I’m going a bit far, but the main point is sound; Aziraphale has always loved human love, and he loves that Crowley does too. He’s just never realized that the love he feels for his favourite show is 98% due to the person he’s watching it with, and that the love he loves is not – as he’s always assumed – out of his reach, beyond that proverbial screen. He’s allowed to have a story of his own.
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hiswordsarekisses · 2 years ago
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Our Lord told us: “For as were the Days of Noah (ימֵי נחַ), so will be the coming of the Son of Man. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, and they were unaware until the flood came and swept them all away (οὐκ ἔγνωσαν ἕως ἦλθεν ὁ κατακλυσμὸς καὶ ἦρεν ἅπαντας). Likewise, just as it was in the days of Lot - they were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building, but on the day when Lot went out from Sodom, fire and sulfur rained from heaven and destroyed them all - so will it be on the day when the Son of Man is revealed” (Matt. 24:38-9; Luke 17:28-30).
So what were these “Days of Noah” like? What can we say about the “Generation of the Flood”? Yeshua explained that the "days of Noah" were marked by people who were asleep, blind, and *unaware* (ἔγνωσαν, “agnostic”). They went about their business willfully ignorant of the spiritual reality around them. For ten consecutive generations -- from the creation of Adam until the generation of Noah -- people progressively became more and more ignorant of spiritual reality and truth. Eating and drinking, romantic intrigue and marriage, buying and selling, and other worldly affairs were the preoccupations of the day. In short, people lived their lives oblivious to the spiritual reality all around them. They “forgot” who God was, who they were, why they existed, and where they were going. In short, they were “unaware.”
The deadening effects of sin leads to moral and spiritual blindness that leads to corruption and unthinking brutality and violence. Of Noah's generation it was written "The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the LORD regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart... the whole earth was corrupt before God, and filled with violence" (Gen. 6:5-6, 11). Rashi understood the word "corruption" (shachat) to primarily refer to sexual immorality (i.e., idolatry) and "violence" (chamas) to primarily refer to theft and robbery. In general, however, the sages regarded the word chamas to refer to lawlessness, that is the denial of Torah, and consequently the benighted condition of living without yirat ha-shamayim (the fear of heaven). When people are spiritually dead, they are unconscious of the wonder of God; oblivious to what is real; and they are consequently debased into animals... We see that in our world today.
Far from being "set free" by throwing off the "shackles" of the law, people are debased and brought into deeper darkness (Rom. 1:26-28; 2 Pet. 2:12). True freedom is not the power to do whatever you want but the power to choose what is right. "Right" and "wrong" are not subjective preferences but objective spiritual judgments indicated both by human conscience but more importantly though revelation of the Torah. Despite claims by foolish thinkers like Frederick Nietzsche, moral truth is not malleable and subject to change. Just as human beings are subject to various physical laws to exist, so they are subject to moral laws. A person can no more murder another and escape the consequences than he can step off the ledge of a skyscraper and not fall to the earth.
The chaos we see in the world today is the result of years of social engineering and propaganda. From their youngest age children have been indoctrinated to believe that there is no God, that there is no transcendental moral authority, and that there is no objective truth about anything. Everything is relative and perspectival, and it is impossible to judge one subjective perspective to be better or worse than another... As a result we are "reaping the whirlwind" and the impulse to destroy is the final expression of this solipsistic and nihilistic ideology. Of course this destruction will be quickly followed by a "new regime" that eventually will enslave all of humanity under the reign of the anti-Christ.
The late Rabbi Levovitz, leader of the Mir Yeshiva, was in Poland before World War II and he saw the German preparations for the concentration camps. Regarding this he said, "The Jews stopped believing in Gehinnom (hell) so Hashem decided to bring Gehinnom into the world. Not the whole Gehinnom, but a little bit of it, a foretaste, a little bit of Gehinnom" (Purim derasha, 1981: Avi Miller). The moral chaos and anarchy we see today is likewise a foretaste of Gehinnom - the reign of terror to come otherwise known as the Great Tribulation....
There is hope, of course. We can and we should pray for the lost to turn to God and be delivered from their demonic fears and rage. And there is a new world coming! Not the "new world order" being prepared by techno-fascist globalists for the anti-Christ, but a truly new world. The chaotic violent and sick world we live in today will be dissolved when our King comes to rule the earth (Psalm 2). Our Lord can come in a blink of an eye. We are now in a state of preparation to herald our king, and that means keeping our hearts directed to his reality and truth. We must not shrink back now - we must affirm the truth and be bold in our witness. Shalom chaverim.
[ Hebrew for Christians ]
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Amos 5:4 Hebrew reading:
https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/amos5-4-jjp.mp3
Hebrew page:
https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/amos5-4-lesson.pdf
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cagedchoices · 12 days ago
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RELATIONSHIP META - MAEVE & CALEB (PART III)
[PART 1] [PART 2]
Where we last left off heading into 4.03 - Années Folles, Caleb and Maeve had just stepped off a train together into a 1920s prohibition-era inspired derivative of Westworld — the town of Temperance.
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CALEB: God, even after all of your stories...I never imagined it quite like this.
MAEVE: Oh, they spare no expense on their prisons.
Maeve, because she spent her whole life in the park routinely being tortured by guests, is unimpressed with any of the glitz and glamor this version offers. Caleb on the other hand is easily dazzled by the scope of the thing. He is still aware it's a bad thing that it exists at all but. Wow. It's pretty, it's intense and involved, it's almost like walking into the pages of a history book or an old painting or photograph or something.
This was one of those moments that initially threw me, as well as others, into questioning if Caleb was already a host by this point. But, like a similar exchange that occurred between Caleb and Dolores in season 3, I think Maeve using “they” here was more about allowing Caleb just a little bit of dignity in not being associated with the specific social set of entitled rich people who are responsible for enabling Westworld and other adventure parks to exist. Even if this was a host version of Caleb simply reliving his memories, I just don’t see why Maeve would give away that he’s not human and then nothing happens.
The line “Spare no expense” itself is a nod to John Hammond in Jurassic Park, the book authored by Michael Crichton (but I think that dialogue only appeared in the movie adaption. I'm not 100% sure). Crichton also wrote the screenplay for and directed the original 1973 Westworld film which served as inspiration for the HBO TV series. Of course, the irony in the line is that Hammond took practically every shortcut he could think of to cut costs and save money on his endeavors with Isla Nublar and he was in denial about it, which was exactly the thing that led to his own park's colossal failure.
And lastly, I appreciate that this exchange further establishes Maeve and Caleb must have spent a lot of time together outside of the context of what we had seen on screen. She told him stories about her time in Westworld. Per last episode, they know each other's drinking habits and the drinks they prefer to order, and practically all they have to do is silently glance at each other in a certain way and the other instantly knows something's wrong or that they're about to pull some sort of shenanigans together.
A large man bumps past Caleb's shoulder, a callback to the scenes from season 1 where Teddy and William encountered a similar situation. [here]
The first time Teddy experienced it, he just gave the guy a little finger wave and went on about his day, but some other time after he started to remember his past loops, he shot and killed the man. William, the first time he experienced it, immediately apologized and tried to defuse the situation, while Logan then flipped his middle finger and proclaimed "Fuck you, Grizzly Adams!" while they walked away.
So what will Caleb do with this scenario? The man barges past his shoulder and causes him to flinch hard. They both turn and Caleb does kind of passively size up this other guy like he might wanna get defensive and fight about it with a bit of hesitation, but when Maeve tells him to leave it, he listens to her and they promptly move on.
MAEVE: We have to make our way underground. They control everything from down there.
CALEB: Well how are we gonna get underground?
MAEVE: We die.
CALEB: Is there a second option?
MAEVE: Don't knock it 'til you've tried it... Do not pick that up.
A can rolls into the street and taps Caleb's shoe, so he bends down to pick it up, but Maeve stops him and he rights himself to catch sight of a young blonde-haired woman in a blue dress.
I don't think Caleb knew that this particular girl was a knockoff Dolores, but even if he did, knockoff Teddy interrupts the realization that might've occurred by diving out of a cab to pick up the can in the middle of the street and give it back to her. Maeve takes this as their cue to keep moving and leads Caleb across the street to the Butterfly Club, a 1920s art deco styled variant of the Mariposa Saloon from Westworld.
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MAEVE: They've made a few changes, but the story's still the same.
MAN: Where are we going?
DEBORAH: I wanna find this new narrative. It's supposed to be bigger than Pariah.
MAEVE: Like I said; Same old story.
CALEB: Alright, so what do we do now?
MAEVE: We wait.
CALEB: For what?
MAEVE: For history to repeat itself.
Now that they’re in the park, Maeve’s playful demeanor from when they were aboard the train has pretty much eroded away due to all the trauma she's now faced with by having to remember her old life as a prisoner in a place very similar to this one. Her main concern for the moment seems to be just making sure Caleb doesn’t get wrapped up in some knockoff narrative bullshit by accident.
Maeve's overall plan is to wait for the saloon heist to kick off with this park's knockoff version of Hector and his gang of outlaws. They'll let the heist progress until the opportune moment, then kill the bandits in a shootout so that cleanup crews have to come retrieve all the bodies and take them downstairs to the lower levels. She and Caleb will hide in the wagon or truck that comes to gather the bodies, and pretend to be dead when the techs dump everything down a chute into the livestock level of the labs below.
But for now, they wait. And people-watch.
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TEMPERANCE MAEVE: And when I stepped back on solid ground, the first thing I heard was that rotten voice. It said ‘this is the new world, and in this world, you can be whoever the fuck you want.’
MAEVE: My delivery was far better. This place really has gone to pot.
Caleb looks a little surprised when he realizes that he's heard Maeve say these bits of dialogue to him before. "This is the new world, and in this world, you can be whoever the fuck you want" is what she told him in the season 3 finale when their partnership officially began, and "I ran away. Crossed the shining sea...and when I finally set foot back on solid ground..." he heard just a few hours earlier when they realized they were on the train to nowhere good. But knowing it doesn't really change anything about how he sees Maeve, either.
A Temperance counterpart of Clementine Pennyfeather approaches the table and makes advances toward Caleb, running her hand along his face and stroking his beard seductively.
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TEMPERANCE CLEMENTINE: Well, aren't you just the cat's meow? I'd love to take you upstairs and show you my—
MAEVE: —Your services won't be necessary, darling.
(Temperance Clementine looks down at Caleb, withdraws her hand from his chin, and leaves the table)
MAEVE: Well, I was never that daft. (Off Caleb) What? Clearly her bulk apperception are in the negatives.
I doubt that it’s a *popular* interpretation, but I have seen people poke fun at this scene before on the grounds that they think Maeve is upset by how “vulgar” the language Clementine used is. The thing is, this is not vulgar language at all. “The cat’s meow” is an idiomatic term that originated in the 1920s, and means that someone or something is incredibly appealing. Enjoyable, desirable, impressive, outstanding, the best there is. So Temperance Clementine using the phrase on Caleb is really just her saying he’s attractive, handsome, hot, etc. And I think she was trying follow it up with “I’d love to take you upstairs and show you my most stunning attractions.” since that's pretty close to the original Westworld line.
And maybe I am just totally blinded by shipper brain rot at this point, but for me this interaction goes a little beyond just “not interested, go away.” Maeve’s tone sounds fairly tinged with jealousy after shooing this Clementine away and if a raised eyebrow is any indication, even Caleb picks up on that, so Maeve tries to deflect, as though she’s going “haha no I would have never hit on Caleb even as a stranger in a bar. that girl must be insane or stupid.” But. I think the truth is Maeve does find Caleb handsome and were it not for the fact that he’s already married to somebody else at this point in time, she might be hitting on him herself otherwise.
On a very vaguely related note, I saw a reddit post a while back from r/TIFU that started off “Today I Fucked Up Walking Past Sex Workers With My Friend”.
The gist of the story was that the post author was hanging out with a friend of his in the city and they walked down a sidewalk where many sex workers congregate. The author kept getting attention from workers calling him daddy and complimenting and offering very insistently toward him, but they seemed to be totally ignoring his friend, so he started to feel a bit bad for the friend thinking the reason he wasn’t getting any attention was because the friend was ugly. But he decided to ask one of the workers why he was the only one getting offers and not his friend, and she told him “friend pretty boy. you pay." So then the author came to the conclusion that his friend must be having more than enough sex for free on account of how attractive he is. Meanwhile, the author decided he was being asked to pay for sex because he must be ugly. (Which yeah I mean. if you're gonna assume that the reason your friend isn't getting offers from sex workers is like 'aw man he's ugly' i think you are probably ugly)
So now I just… sometimes think about that reddit post when I see the two scenes where New Clementine/Sophia and then Temperance Clementine try to seduce Caleb while totally ignoring Maeve. Not the same thing at all because these characters are both played by attractive actors but it was a funny thought anyway.
The canon explanation is probably more about personality or who the host's datafiles tells them would be easier to influence or manipulate. The other hosts maybe just look over at Maeve and are like 'hm. she's self-assured, she doesn't need our help.' But then they look at Caleb acting a little wound up and hesitant and worried and uncomfortable and go 'that one. that is a man who needs a little encouragement to act uninhibited. we want that one.'
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Afterwards, there's two guests who accost Temperance Maeve and try to intimidate her into servicing them for free. I've written about the scene before but I still very much appreciate that Caleb isn't judgmental or misogynistic regarding sex work. He seems to just be frowning on the fact that these guys are trying to force Maeve's counterpart into compliance to get what they want out of her, as well as recognizing that Maeve used to experience the same thing on a regular basis.
ALPHA BRO: Hey there. Whaddya say about a two for one? We can be done with ya real quick.
CALEB: My god, I can't believe you had to put up with this shit.
TEMPERANCE MAEVE: (Pulls out a handgun and cocks it back) I'd be happy to do you both right here. Rest assured, it'll be very quick.
MAEVE: See? Don't feel too bad. Even dumbed down, we can still take care of ourselves.
The heist sequence (linked for your convenience and my sanity) kicks off right on schedule, with Hector Escaton's counterpart for Temperance, named Hecky Armone, arriving in a car he stole from the town's chief of police after murdering him. He and his gang terrorize the town a little bit before entering the clubhouse. He murders the bartender, flirts with Temperance Maeve, and then Maeve kills them, causing the rest of the gang to retaliate at the death of their leader. She puts them down as well, Caleb using her name for the second time in 3 episodes of screentime to alert her to Temperance Armistice. He shoots and kills Armistice to protect Maeve.
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After the undertakers finish loading the back of their truck with the dead bodies, the duo seize their chance to sneak on board and play dead. The bodies are thrown down a chute that takes them to the shop to be fixed and cleaned up. Caleb and then Maeve land on top of the pile and wait for a pair of techs to leave before getting up and continuing on their way.
They move through the behavioral training labs and into the character design levels. Maeve finds a tablet to access a map of the underground levels. She realizes there's something off about the map and that nothing about the park seems to be controlled from the labs, and an alarm for a security breach sounds.
MAEVE: Something's wrong. Nothing's being controlled from here. No sign of William.
CALEB: Is it possible that you didn't—
MAEVE: —It's not me. It's this entire level. Something's off.
CALEB: Is that about us?
MAEVE: I'm not inclined to stay and find out.
As they try to leave, a QA team approaches and confronts them, warning them that the area is off limits to guests. A large group of other guests approach and interrupt with one of them talking about a secret game she's looking for, and then an explosion sounds, with alternate versions of Dolores, Teddy, and Angela emerging from a smoky hallway.
All hell breaks loose with QA guards, rebel hosts, and guests shooting. Maeve, having realized what's happening, understands that this is a new narrative added to the park. Caleb hasn't quite figured that out yet.
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CALEB: I thought guns didn't work on humans.
MAEVE: They don't. None of this is real, it's just another level of the game.
CALEB: What game?
MAEVE: The Westworld Massacre... There's another level below this one. Follow me, come on.
They try to leave, but another guest, Deborah from back at the Butterfly saloon, guns them down. Maeve, being a host, is struck by a bullet in her right shoulder. It takes out her motor functions in that arm, leaving it mostly limp as if she experienced nerve damage. Caleb, being a human, is physically unharmed. Just kinda startled and nerve-wracked.
CALEB: Maeve! Gotta get you out of here.
MAEVE: I've had worse. We need to go.
CALEB: I'll cover. Stay behind me.
They navigate through the massacre level, Caleb putting down or incapacitating whoever stands in the way of their escape. Maeve spots a healing tool on a table in a surgical room and grabs it to use once safe, and locates a hidden elevator. Knockoff Dolores, Teddy, and Angela charge toward them as they get in the elevator, and Caleb manages to shoot Dolores and Angela as the door is closing. Inside, Maeve tries to use the healing device on her shoulder but struggles to hold it. Caleb notices and gently takes it, offering to do it for her.
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CALEB: Here. Let me.
MAEVE: You weren't half bad out there.
CALEB: You've uh, saved my life before... Happy to return the favor.
This is where my main relationship dynamic tag for Maeve and Caleb comes from! As always, regardless of what context their relationship is viewed in, one thing that is always going to be consistent about it is Maeve carries a lot of admiration for Caleb and vice versa Caleb carries a lot of admiration for Maeve. And they completely have one another's backs.
I will say it was reminiscent of a similar scene from 2.01 - Journey Into Night, where Maeve uses a healing tool on Hector's wounds after he has been absolutely riddled with bullets in a firefight against Delos security personnel.
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MAEVE: They did a number on you.
HECTOR: They tried.
Maeve felt a little bit guilty about this and regretted that she was the one responsible for leaving Hector to suffer. She thought he would die quickly at the hands of Delos security, but she admired how resilient he was and how loyal he stayed to her.
I'm not making any suggestion here that showing an interaction like this with Caleb and Maeve means it has to be romantic in intention, but I think there is something to be said about Maeve seeing similar traits in her time with Caleb that she remembers from her time with Hector.
The elevator arrives at the lower level of the labs which appears deserted at first, though Maeve and Caleb quickly discover it is populated by drone hosts. The pair move through the secret lab together, observing smaller pieces of a much larger experiment through the windows of other rooms.
Fly maggots being transported from one container to another, a parasite being tested for veracity in human DNA, a strange black gooey substance being synthesized, an aquarium filled with flies being fed the black goo.
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The flies quickly become a concern, swarming against the glass trying to get at Caleb. Maeve hears a loud droning frequency that Caleb doesn't, and they move into the next room where they discover a large device that seems to be generating tones at different frequencies. On a large computer screen, there are rows of surveillance camera footage showing test subjects responding to the tones.
In front of each subject is a table with a set of blocks and a gun with a loaded ammo clip beside it. At the sound of the tones, the subjects stack the blocks in a certain order.
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CALEB: The sound is somehow controlling them. Are they hosts?
MAEVE: I don't believe so...
(The prisoners swipe the blocks off the table at the pitch of another tone, then reach for the gun and ammo. A couple of them try to resist, tears in their eyes. They can't fight it)
CALEB: Unlock the cells.
(Maeve is already attempting to hack the door)
MAEVE: I'm trying but it's encrypted.
CALEB: Maeve!
MAEVE: It won't let me in.
(The captives all pull the trigger on their guns at the same time)
CALEB: Fuck.
(Maeve spots something on another set of monitors and moves toward it, calling Caleb's attention as well)
MAEVE: Caleb.
(On screen, Caleb's daughter Frankie is in a cell, being commanded to start the control test)
CALEB: Frankie..? No. Frankie! I have to find her. Figure out how to open up the doors!
Caleb rushes out of the control room and into the cell annex in search of Frankie, stress mounting as he passes by the corpses of the previous test group that just killed themselves. He quickly finds Frankie, but can't get the door open on his own. Maeve, still back in the control room, tries to decrypt the lock again, getting it open just in time for Caleb to grab Frankie and knock the gun out of her hand.
They are both relieved, but very quickly Maeve realizes they've made a grave mistake and fallen for a trap. She tries to leave the room to rescue her best friend before it's too late, and The Man In Black himself arrives to confront her.
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Maeve fights with William and manages to get ahold of his gun. She shoots him several times and believes him to be dead, but he quickly returns and thwarts her attempt to get back to Caleb. She quickly finds out that she's not dealing with the real William after all.
Meanwhile, in Frankie's cell, Caleb asks Frankie if she's okay, promises he's never leaving her again, and asks if her mom was captured too.
FRANKIE: Wait, you can't leave.
CALEB: No, no... I'm not gonna leave. Never again, okay? I promise.
FRANKIE: Good. She wants you to stay.
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CALEB: Hey. Did they get your mom too? Do you know where she— is she here?
FRANKIE: No, Daddy. She's not. But me and Mommy were never the ones Hale needed anyway. All she needed was you.
CALEB: What are you talking about?
The Frankie Caleb saves is just a host impostor designed to fool him, luring him into the cell alone to prevent Maeve from being able to rescue him, which he realizes far too late to do anything about. Host Frankie traps Caleb in place by the arms and unleashes a swarm of parasite-infected flies on him.
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In 4.04 - Generation Loss, the painful process of fly assimilation knocks Caleb unconscious for a few minutes, at which point Charlotte Hale-Dolores arrives to inspect her handiwork. Caleb gradually starts to wake up, feeling all sorts of out of it.
Maeve realizes that William is a host, and he reveals that he has killed all of her other friends and she's the only one left. Angered by this, Maeve tries to fight Host William in hand-to-hand combat, but he is stronger than her and throws her around easily, forcing her to flee. She runs back to the control room and hides around a corner, attempting to hack into the frequency generator in order to overload it.
William believes Maeve is trying to rummage inside his mind and control him, unaware of what she's actually doing. Maeve turns off her ears and commands the generator to send out a resonant frequency that is powerful enough to shatter every pane of glass inside the facility, subsequently giving Caleb a fighting chance to seize an advantage over Hale and take her prisoner. Maeve quickly reunites with Caleb and then they try to figure out what to do next.
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CALEB: Maeve! The parasite...it's in me. That was never Frankie.
MAEVE: I know. And there I thought Wyatt was Dolores's dark side.
CALEB: Alright. How do I get this thing out of my head?
HALE: And give up my leverage?
MAEVE: That's alright, we'll dig it out of her. You're coming with us.
CALEB: Maeve...you've seen what this thing does. We have to stop her before this spreads any further.
After taking an elevator back to the surface, Maeve knocks out the G-man on the street corner, giving his handcuffs to Caleb so he doesn't have to just keep holding a pointy shard of broken of glass to Hale's throat the whole time they're trying to escape the city, and keeping his pistol for herself.
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CALEB: Maeve, we gotta go. Every human in the park could be infected. We need to get to an extraction point. Alright. My guys'll pick us up just outside the border of the park, just need the coordinates.
HALE: You'll never make it that far. They'll stop you well before then. (To Maeve) You alone, though. You might make it.
MAEVE: Ignore her.
HALE: But you seem to make a habit out of risking your life for him. You could've lived in peace, undisturbed, if you hadn't've been so sentimental.
CALEB: What is she talking about? What is it?
MAEVE: Something's wrong.
CALEB: (Groans) Maeve...
MAEVE: They've turned their machine back on.
HALE: The parasite will take hold of him soon. That is, if the guests in the park don't kill you both first.
MAEVE: Oh, do shut up. Move!
Hale presses on a sore point here re: Caleb's perception of the way Maeve left and also on Maeve accidentally opening them up to the risk of Hale finding them. Caleb doesn't know what really happened, so Hale is hoping that by touching on his insecurity in which he believes that Maeve abandoned him once before, he'll consider that she might do it again and as a result he might not want to trust or cooperate with her anymore.
On Maeve's part, Hale tries to make her feel guilty for not telling Caleb the truth about what happened, because deep down Maeve must also harbor some level of insecurity that Caleb may never forgive her if he finds out she caused all of this.
Maeve hurries them along with her own plan to steal a laundry truck serving as a front for a moonshine operation. Making their way down the street, a group of guests are commanded by the tones to kill Maeve and Caleb and begin to follow them ominously, causing Caleb to become concerned.
CALEB: Maeve, I think we just became public enemy number one.
MAEVE: Don't worry, darling. The narratives in this park are all just cheap copies of Westworld. She may have her parasite, but I've lived these loops a thousand times, which means that no one knows this game better than I do.
The other guests continue to follow them, becoming distracted when a host jumps out a window at the bank just after Hale, Maeve, and Caleb pass by it. The bank robber fires at the guests and a gunfight ensues, giving Maeve and Caleb a second to duck around the corner of a vaudeville theater and locate their means of escape across the street.
MAEVE: Our chariot awaits.
CALEB: A laundry truck?
MAEVE: Bootleg moonshine.
Just as they're about to make a run for the truck, the guests under Hale's control open fire and a fight breaks out in the streets.
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Caleb is overcome by the tones, which try to command him to kill Maeve by picking up a rifle from a dead host nearby. He hesitates, clearly fighting against it but struggling for control. For a moment, killing Maeve is a very real possibility before another guest jams a knife into his side. Maeve quickly responds by shooting the attacking guest multiple times to stun him, allowing Caleb enough time to stagger over to the truck and get in.
Meanwhile, Maeve knocks Hale unconscious and throws her in back of the van like a sack of potatoes. This is the second time Hale’s been responsible for hurting someone Maeve cares about and she is fed up with it.
Maeve drives through the desert toward a control shed located at the park's border. Caleb is...not in great shape. These circumstances remind both of them of what happened at the lighthouse 7 years previous.
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CALEB: You gonna disappear on me this time, too?
MAEVE: Typical. Using the gravity of this situation to dredge up the past.
CALEB: Seriously, Maeve.
MAEVE: I didn't. I sat at your bedside for weeks, fearing the worst. I confronted something I had never confronted before...Mortality. the finality of death in your kind... You asked me once what a regular life would look like for you. I saw a vision of how it could be, for you to be free. It was...extraordinary... Our kinds are locked in a perpetual struggle. I wanted you to do more than just fight to survive. I wanted you to have something to fight for. I had already known the love of a daughter, and I planned on spending eternity holding it dear.
CALEB: You've been alone for all these years...
MAEVE: I knew that if I stayed put, no harm would come to you. You deserve to have something real to hold onto. That's why I left. And it would've been fine, except...one day I got curious. So I reached out through the grid to find you, and...
CALEB: That's how Hale found us... My family. If I don't—
MAEVE: Don't worry. I told you I'd get you to Uwade and I will.
I went over the flashbacks from this in the Part 2 Maeve & Caleb meta, which leaves the present to talk about next. After evading and turning Caleb's questions around on him for the past 4 episodes to avoid admitting to him that she's the one responsible for putting them both in Hale's sights and it’s really because she loved him too much to hold on and she missed him too much to let go, Maeve tells him the truth about what happened. It’s all she can do to offer him some sense of peace and closure. If he does die, he doesn’t deserve to do it without knowing what the circumstances really were. That she didn’t abandon him the way he thinks she did.
All Caleb knew was that she was there when he passed out on the beach at the lighthouse, but when he woke up several weeks later, she was nowhere to be found. He could only guess that meant she dropped him off and left and it doesn't seem like anyone ever told him different.
They did what they set out to do, they destroyed Rehoboam, liberated the world to make its own choices. So maybe that's all it was meant to be and he was never going to see her again. Or else maybe his thought was that because he got injured and nearly died, he just wouldn't be useful to any cause anymore and if he's not useful then he has no value and nobody wants him around and maybe he felt that extended to what Maeve thought of him too.
As I said previously, I believe Maeve had a little bit of insecurity regarding telling Caleb the truth, which is partially what put her off doing so until the last minute, the other part being that she didn't want him thinking back on the past more than he was already doing. It's the kind of thing she probably figures would hurt him so much he'd never want to speak to her again for anything after all.
But his reaction to her telling him she spent the last 7 years all alone holding onto the memory of being with her daughter, he's not angry at all. He's hurt for her. He's sorry that she didn't have any companionship out there, and that she missed him and couldn't do anything about it without inadvertently painting a target on both their backs. She'd never admit to loneliness, but that's what it was. And he doesn't blame her in the slightest for feeling it.
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MAEVE: I'll handle him. You call your team. Get us the hell out of here.
CALEB: You can't trust me with this.
MAEVE: I just did.
Always a significant moment to me, Maeve offers a rifle to Caleb. He reaches out to take it, hesitates to grab it for a second by snatching his hand back toward his body, and then accepts it weakly with that warning to her. Even after watching him struggle to fight against Hale’s control once already, Maeve genuinely still has so much faith in him that she will trust him with a gun even though there’s absolutely no way to guarantee at this point that he won’t turn it back on her.
It probably doesn't have as much bearing on this as I'd like it to, but I recall Dr. Ford warning Bernard in season 2 to never put his trust in humans, because humans will inevitably disappoint and betray the hosts because it's in their nature to do so. I love that it is Maeve and Caleb who defy those principles here.
Maeve battles Host William, Caleb takes Hale into the control shed and sets aside the gun, tying her to a chair before radioing his team for help, unaware that they've all been replaced by host doppelgangers under Hale's control. Hale tries to assume control of Caleb again using the tones, and again he picks up the gun and turns its sights on Maeve. He fully wins back control against the parasite this time and manages to shoot William in an effort to protect Maeve instead.
I do often feel as though this was done in parallel to Caleb being manipulated into killing Francis by Rehoboam. He has already been forced to kill one best friend in his lifetime. Will not do it again, thanks.
The brief, heartwarming feeling this brings is brought to abrupt end by Host William, who blasts Maeve through the heart with his grapeshot revolver. This draws Caleb's attention to the window, where he can't do anything but watch on helplessly as William proceeds to stab Maeve in the stomach.
MAN IN BLACK: You think this is over? You can't stop us. You're still going to die back in the park by my hand.
MAEVE: One lesson the park taught me: Always insist on mutual satisfaction.
COMPUTER V/O: Warning: Demolition explosives armed. CAUTION, Warning—
CALEB: No, Maeve...? Don't do this...
Maeve remotely hacks into the computer system in the control shed and uses it to arm an array of explosives designed for terraforming new areas of the park.
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William tells Maeve that his face is the last one she'll ever see, but instead of accepting that, Maeve pulls her head over William's shoulder so that the last face she sees before she closes her eyes is Caleb in the window of the control shed.
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While she's looking at him, she quietly tells him "see you in the next life, darling." Something that Hector had said to her in the season 1 finale after she refused to allow him to enter the elevator and escape with her.
MAEVE: I'm sorry, darling. I haven't authorized you to come with us. And as much as I'd like to take you with me, I've always valued my independence. (She kisses Hector) Kick up a row, will you?
HECTOR: See you in the next life.
In essence, in season 1, Maeve sacrificed Hector so that she could survive. In season 4, she sacrificed herself so that Caleb could survive.
Maeve detonates the explosives, bringing down a mountain of sand and debris on the quarry that now lays mostly buried along with Maeve and Host William.
HALE: Caleb. Wake up. You dozed off for a minute there.
CALEB: Maeve... No...
HALE: You don't look so good, Caleb.
CALEB: I would be more worried about yourself. I won't rest until everything you built is destroyed.
HALE: Are you sure you'll make it?
CALEB: I don't give a fuck what happens to me. Frankie will not grow up in a world where she is controlled by you.
HALE: Do you even remember how you got here, Caleb?
CALEB: Of course. Maeve...
HALE: I'm afraid she's a goner. Took out my man, too, but I can always rebuild. Maeve, on the other hand, she...was something special.
CALEB: I will kill you for this.
Hale pokes at Caleb's fondness for Maeve, knowing that it will anger him because it's Hale's fault that she is gone, but he won't actually be able to do anything about it because he's in real bad shape in the first place. But there's something else about Caleb that feels...off.
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HALE: Do you remember what happened now? Do you remember this moment?
CALEB: I don't understand.
HALE: Come on, Caleb. Think.
CALEB: We got to the shed... Maeve died... The lights came and—
HALE: Those lights don't belong to your men. They belong to mine.
A group of armed men storm the building and upon seeing Caleb, gun him down. Hale reveals that he died and is a host duplicate reliving memories of the original Caleb's life. It has been 23 years since he died, his family is gone, Maeve is gone, his team is gone, and he's doomed to remain Hale's prisoner.
Unfortunately, the latter half of season 4, the final 4 episodes, had only one reference to Maeve on Caleb's part and it happened in a flashback that I went over in Part 2. There were a couple references to Caleb on Maeve's part and one from C's perspective, so they will get an honorable mention here.
It's tragic to see just how devastated Caleb was about watching Maeve die, only for him to never bring her up again in any of the subsequent episodes. One thing that could be seen as a possible explanation is maybe he was so affected by Maeve dying the way she did, it still feels too close and too soon to talk about it in any way.
C: The last time I saw my father, he was with her, and then he never came back.
BERNARD: I'm sure it would pain her greatly to hear what happened to him.
C: I want to know what happened. And she doesn't know pain. None of them do. Feelings are just an affect to them, a switch you can turn on and off. You can't love or lose fully when it's just a choice. So no, I don't have a soft spot for her like you apparently do.
This one hurts a bit. I get where C/Frankie is coming from in that at face value, all she knows is this woman showed up at their house one night and Caleb insisted on going away with her, and then a few days later her dad is gone and nobody has heard anything in weeks, months, years. What other conclusion is she supposed to draw.
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But at the same time it's sad that she grew up with the belief that the hosts are nothing more than unfeeling machines when two of her dad's most meaningful connections in the world before she was born were the bonds he formed with Maeve and Dolores.
MAEVE: When I left, I thought I was giving him a chance. I didn't think it would lead to all of this.
C: Part of me blamed you, and part of me knew that if there was any chance he was still alive... it was because you were with him. Everything you guys did, that's why we're here.
MAEVE: Well then...let's finish what we started.
MAEVE: I wish I could be there when you see your father. Let him know that I kept my word.
I guess the good news is, she doesn't harbor this feeling for too much longer. Once she actually meets Maeve and talks to her and learns what happened, she starts to realize that maybe she was wrong and maybe it is possible for humans and hosts to co-exist.
And even though the actual relationship dynamic was dropped almost completely, both Caleb and Maeve seem to share the same thought when it comes to telling Hale off.
C: You can tell him yourself. We'll rendezvous in Redhook.
CALEB: Your hosts would rather die than live in your world. They're not infected. They're just trying to get away from you.
When Maeve confronts Hale, she then says:
MAEVE: Seeing as I'm the only guest at this little soirée, I gather that your hosts don't care to join you.
[...] Do you really think the others will want to spend eternity with you?
The real reason that the hosts don't want to live in Hale's world isn't a matter of them disliking her for anyone other than Caleb and Maeve. It's that the world Hale has fostered is so devoid of any sense of meaning or purpose in life that once people see through it, they feel ashamed and guilty for what they've done to contribute to the misery other people are forced to suffer through. It forces them to confront the concept of empathy, and if they're not ready or if they have any doubts when they start to understand the process, it can quickly drive them to make impulsive decisions to reassert their own sense of control in the world, even if that means killing themselves to relieve the feeling of guilt.
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hashems-truth-matters · 1 year ago
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None So Blind As Refuse To See
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None So Blind As Refuse To See This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a commission on sales. "There are none so blind as those who will not see" "Hearing is believing" The first one is an idiom, while the second one is a principle derived from Scripture. Individuals who possess all the available information yet consciously refuse to acknowledge it, display a flaw in their character, their immaturity, or quite possibly live in denial. Some people may prefer to trust the opinions of others instead of verifying the facts themselves. This behavior is similar to Eve's actions in the garden, where she believed and accepted the Adversary's account of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Instead of unquestioningly following the Word of our God, she allowed herself to be deceived by what she personally witnessed. Both statements emphasize the crucial importance of correctly utilizing our senses throughout our lives, as the way we live today holds eternal significance. The physical universe was created by our God as a nurturing space for us to reside, acquire knowledge, and mature. It is a collection of imagery designed to impart profound spiritual wisdom. However, its current state is not everlasting. In the Scriptures, God clearly conveys that He is the Eternal and Immutable One, the Alpha and Omega. His divine nature is revealed both in the marvels of His creation and the sacred pages of His Word. Messiah Yeshua, who exists from the very start, is the Creator and Sustainer of all things. He informed us that the sun, moon, and stars are meant to serve as signs and indicators of seasons, and He carefully designed their paths. He established His methodologies, creating a calendar for us and defining days for both labor and rest. He stated that the very sun, moon, and stars themselves would serve as a guide to ascertain the precise moment when the Messiah would make His glorious return. Since the very beginning, hearing has remained vital. Even after Adam and Eve sinned, they were deprived of seeing the Father, but they were still able to hear His voice!  Moses gathered all of Israel together and addressed them, saying: "Hear, O Israel, the statutes and the ordinances which I am speaking today in your hearing, that you may learn them and observe them carefully” (Deut. 5:1). Yeshua answered, "The foremost is, 'HEAR, O ISRAEL! THE LORD OUR GOD IS ONE LORD” (Mark 20:29). “So then faith by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Rom. 10:17 NKJV). The word "hear" encompasses more than just the physical act of listening to sounds. In its complete Hebraic essence, it signifies Shema, which holds the profound meaning of "to hear, listen, and obediently respond." I understand that many people believe that salvation requires only faith, but the Bible teaches that it also involves obeying what we hear, believing in God's Word, and putting it into action. "They answered Him and said to Him, 'Abraham is our father.' Yeshua said to them, 'If you were Abrahams’ children, you would do the works of Abraham. But now you seek to kill Me, a Man who has told you the truth which I heard from God. Abraham did not do this. You do the deeds of your father.' Then they said to Him, 'We were not born of fornication; we have one Father-God.' Yeshua said to them, 'If God were your Father, you would love Me, for I proceeded forth and came from God; nor have I come of Myself, but He sent Me. Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to My word. You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do.'" (John 8: 39-44a) “Why Do You Not Understand My Speech?” The word “speech” is from the Greek word lalia (Strong’s #2981) meaning:  1) speech, i.e a story 2) dialect, mode of speech, pronunciation a) speech which discloses the speaker's native country “Because you are not able to listen to My Word.” “Word” is from the Greek word logos (Strong’s #3059) meaning: 1) of speech a) a word, uttered by a living voice, embodies a conception or idea b) what someone has said; 1) a word 2) the sayings of God 3) decree, mandate or order 4) of the moral precepts given by God 5) Old Testament prophecy given by the prophets 6) what is declared, a thought, declaration, aphorism, a weighty saying, a dictum, a maxim In John, the Logos is the Word of God, Yeshua HaMashiach, imbued with wisdom and power from God, involved in creation and governing the universe, Source of all life, who put on human nature in Yeshua the Messiah, the second person in the Godhead, revealed through words and actions. This clever play on words can easily go unnoticed if you only read the English version. Yeshua the Messiah has always existed. His words perfectly aligned with His divine nature as He is truly one with YHWH. Without this unity, Yeshua could not fulfill His role as our Savior. The people with whom the Messiah spoke were not only eager to put an end to His life, but also quick to label Him as someone without any legitimacy. Although they seemed to back up their words with actions, their behavior and speech were still inconsistent with their professed beliefs, regardless of their strong claims (hypocrites). Today, just like in the past, the actions people take provide valuable insights into their origins and the influences they are exposed to. I am aware that there is a common belief that Paul rejected the Torah and established a new religion. However, the Scriptures actually document Paul's own words: “But this I confess unto thee, that after the way which they call heresy, so worship I the God of my fathers, believing all things which are written in the law and in the prophets:” (Acts 24:14). Paul affirmed his faith in the Law and the Prophets, commonly known among Christians as the Old Testament, or more broadly, the Torah, as a comprehensive concept. The Greek word under “believing” is pisteu, (Strong's #G4100.) Kittel's The Theological Dictionary of the New Testament and other sources suggest that the word in question should not be limited to intellectual agreement, as previously thought, but should instead be understood as encompassing obedience, compliance, and ongoing trust. The concept of "shema" aligns perfectly with the idea of not just hearing, but also faithfully obeying. I am aware that some claim the Old Testament has lost its relevance, however, the Word itself proclaims: “The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever” (Isa. 40:8). “But the word of the LORD endures forever. Now this is the word which by the gospel was preached to you” (1 Peter 1:25). In America, we have been immensely fortunate to have an abundance of resources, including the Word of God. Many individuals possess multiple copies of this sacred text. However, in other nations, the pages of just one Bible are cherished, carefully separated, and graciously shared among a great number of people. We can personally see the entire world right in front of us. So why should we only rely on hearsay? In the midst of the turmoil that surrounds us, be it on the environmental or political front, it is crucial for us to grasp the true essence of these events. It is now, more than ever, that we must strive to become the bearers of enlightenment, rather than succumbing to ignorance and despair. The Day of the Lord will arrive unexpectedly for those shrouded in darkness, but it will not catch those who walk in the Light off guard.  Yes, I know people say differently, but the Word says: “For You will light my lamp; The LORD my God will enlighten my darkness” (Psa. 18:28). “For you were once darkness, but now light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.” (Eph. 5:8) “But you, brethren, are not in darkness, so that this Day should overtake you as a thief.” (1 Thess. 5: 4 ) The people who stay in darkness are likely to be deeply frightened by all the events that will occur on the earth before the Messiah comes back. However, it is important to understand that these events are not meant to scare His people! "And I will execute vengeance in anger and wrath On the nations which have not obeyed." (Micah 5:15) “For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ,” (1 Thess. 5:9) "But when these things begin to take place, straighten up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near." (Luke 21:28) Believers, the time has come for these events to unfold. Admire the sight above and raise your heads with anticipation! In the sun, moon, and stars, incredible events are occurring, seemingly fulfilling the divine prophecy of guiding us in recognizing the season of the Messiah's return. During 2014 and 2015, on both the spring and fall Feasts of the Lord, a remarkable event took place: two sets of blood-red moons, known as a tetrad, occurred each year. Additionally, these years were accompanied by two solar eclipses. To further add to the significance, in 2016, on the Day of Trumpets, another eclipse occurred where the moon was not giving its light. These events matched what was foretold. In the past 500 years, two significant tetrads took place, namely in 1947 and 1967. Interestingly, these events coincided with the restoration of Land to Israel, adding an extraordinary dimension to these occurrences. Jubilee cycles of years fit the picture. Based on astronomical software, the unique and exceptional combination of events that occurred on these specific days in 2014 and 2015 has never been witnessed before and is not expected to occur again in the future. Does this capture your interest? There is an abundance of information beyond what I can cover in this brief explanation. Indeed, I am aware that there are individuals who claim that the Feasts are exclusively for the Jews, deeming them insignificant and irrelevant to Gentiles. However, it is essential to remember that the Word itself states otherwise: “These the feasts of the LORD, holy convocations which you shall proclaim at their appointed times.” (Lev. 23:4) “Behold, I am building a temple for the name of the LORD my God, to dedicate to Him, to burn before Him sweet incense, for the continual shewbread, for the burnt offerings morning and evening, on the Sabbaths, on the New Moons, and on the set feasts of the LORD our God. This forever to Israel.”  (2 Chronicles 2:4) “Therefore remember that you, once Gentiles in the flesh--who are called Uncircumcision by what is called the Circumcision made in the flesh by hands-- that at that time you were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. … Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God” (Ephesians 2:11-13, 19 ). This passage states that Believers are no longer Gentiles (pagans), but are grafted in to Israel and as such become Hebrew. By believing in, honoring, and serving the God of Israel, you have become an integral part of Israel, the divine household of God - the Commonwealth of Israel. If some of the branches were broken off and you, as a wild olive tree, were grafted among them, becoming a participant in the root and richness of the olive tree, do not pridefully exalt yourself over the branches. “But if you do boast, you do not support the root, but the root you.” (Rom. 11:17-18 NKJV) It's not too late to choose your path. Will you join the ranks of the children of Light or surrender to the darkness? Do you dare to claim that the entirety of God's Word is obsolete and that His Feasts hold no significance whatsoever? Will you be counted among those described by Isaiah and quoted by both Matthew and Luke? “For the hearts of this people have grown dull. ears are hard of hearing, And their eyes they have closed, Lest they should see with eyes and hear with ears, Lest they should understand with hearts and turn, So that I should heal them.” (Matt. 13:15) Those who refuse to follow the Word and mock those who do follow the Whole Word are known as arrogant. Interestingly, even those who resist the Whole Word still seem to find the Psalms to be agreeable. I can't help but wonder if they would still be interested once they see and hear what's included! “You rebuke the arrogant, the cursed, Who wander from Your commandments.” (Psalm 119: 21 NASB) “The arrogant utterly deride me, Yet I do not turn aside from Your law.” (Psalm 119: 51 NASB) “The arrogant have dug pits for me, Men who are not in accord with Your law.” (Psalm 119: 85 NASB) Malachi also speaks about something of great importance, which is commonly believed to be a reference to the Day of His coming, known as the Day of the Lord.  Although many claim that the prophets are no longer important, the Word strongly declares otherwise: "You have said, 'It is vain to serve God; and what profit is it that we have kept His charge, and that we have walked in mourning before the LORD of hosts? 'So now we call the arrogant blessed; not only are the doers of wickedness built up but they also test God and escape. Then those who feared the LORD spoke to one another, and the LORD gave attention and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who fear the LORD and who esteem His name.” (Mal. 3: 14-16 ) In my opinion, the impactful words spoken by the Messiah are often overlooked by those who dismiss the significance of the Old Testament. These words should be seen as thought-provoking and deserving of serious consideration: "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. "Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!'” (Matt. 7:21-23) It's possible that my assumption is incorrect, but it seems that He may have been specifically addressing individuals who identified themselves as His followers. It appears that they were fooled, as He claimed to be unfamiliar with them. The term "know" in this context does not indicate that He was unaware of them, as He possesses complete knowledge. It instead pertains to a deep and personal understanding. Similarly, the term "lawlessness" translates to the Greek word "anomia," where "nomia" corresponds to the Torah and the prefix "a" denotes the absence or disregard of it. I understand that some people claim that the Law has been abolished, but now I will show you tangible proof of what the Word and our Messiah affirm. There are more examples. The Parable of the Ten Virgins can be beautifully understood as a vivid representation of Believers. Each one of them possesses a profound understanding of the Messiah and shares an undeniable certainty that His glorious return is imminent. There are two distinct groups who are waiting: those who follow societal expectations, and those who faithfully abide by the teachings of the Word. While we typically offer our oil and supplies to others, it is important to acknowledge that during the time of His Return, it will not be feasible to share the profound connection we have with the Messiah. It can’t be purchased and it can’t be given away. Either one has already chosen to surrender to Him or not. "And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut. Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, 'Lord, Lord, open to us!' "But he answered and said, 'Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.'” (Matt. 25: 10-12 ) I am still uncertain whether being rejected from "the wedding" implies merely being considered the "least in heaven" compared to those who did and taught the Whole Word, or whether it involves being cast into a place of despair and agony characterized by weeping and grinding of teeth. "Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches , he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt. 5:19) I am truly grateful that He is the just Judge, and not us! “The Spirit of the LORD will rest on Him, The spirit of wisdom and understanding, The spirit of counsel and strength, The spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD. And He will delight in the fear of the LORD, And He will not judge by what His eyes see, Nor make a decision by what His ears hear; But with righteousness He will judge the poor, And decide with fairness for the afflicted of the earth; And He will strike the earth with the rod of His mouth, And with the breath of His lips He will slay the wicked.” (Isaiah Read the full article
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kammartinez · 1 year ago
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Ginny Hogan
Josh Hawley, best known for fleeing a mob he helped incite, has written a book on manhood. In Hawley’s defense, he began writing the book before everyone found out about the running-away situation. But it was, unfortunately, after he did the running.
In Manhood, the Missouri senator argues that men are failing, that American masculinity is under siege by “the left” (he rarely gets more specific), and that the solution to this crisis is Bible study and a resurrected appreciation for bygone masculine virtues like courage and strength, while leaving the caregiving professions to the ladies.
I want to begin by acknowledging the value of asking, “Are men treated unfairly?” It’s too easy to dismiss the question. Men are as much a part of society as anyone else, and if there are reasons to believe that recent cultural and political changes are offering them a raw deal, we should probably investigate. And while I wouldn’t go so far as to say that Hawley’s book isn’t misogynistic (there’s a whole chapter on how all men can be kings), I’ll admit that, on the whole, Hawley isn’t completely blaming women for men’s circumstances. Hawley and I have a lot in common, too: Our grandfathers were both Midwestern farmers named Harold, our fathers were both bankers, we both went to Catholic high schools, and to be completely honest, I too would have run away from the January 6 rioters. So it’s not surprising that we can find some common ground.
While Hawley isn’t wrong when he recognizes that something’s up with men, he wildly misses the mark on exactly what that something is. Specifically, he advocates a return to ancient values. He thinks all men need to get married, as a man’s job is to take a “vow” and then “endure” (which feels unnecessarily rude to his own wife). He mocks men who live with their parents, critiques unemployed men (especially those hooked on painkillers), and shames a former student for admitting that he didn’t feel ready to have kids. To be honest, I’m not sure I can imagine a less productive message than encouraging men to become fathers before they’re ready. Hawley is only interested in helping men live the exact same life that he himself leads, even if that life isn’t available (or even desirable) to them. According to recent studies, it turns out that a slight majority of Americans did not attend Yale Law School or receive campaign donations from Peter Thiel.
No one, myself included, should read this book. I was prepared for all the God-talk; I was less ready for the dangling modifiers. Hawley is awfully repetitive and dull. For much of the book, he leans on familiar right-wing canards, such as that “the left” denies the existence of “men” and “women.” We all know this to be a straw man; nothing about acknowledging the existence and humanity of a transgender person suggests a denial of the same for a cisgender man or woman.
Hawley complains about “the left’s” fight to end masculinity, but he ultimately puts the onus on the male reader to fight back and reclaim his own. The bulk of the book is an analysis of six male imperative identities: Husband, Father, Warrior, Builder, Priest, and King—just like the Meredith Brooks song. These aren’t suggested archetypes; it appears men are expected to be all six.
The structure of each chapter is, loosely: personal anecdote, biblical analysis, critique of “the left,” unrelated fact about Teddy Roosevelt. The biblical parts are largely worthless. While he’s not without criticism for his biblical pals (Adam in particular), Hawley’s general claim is that if men copied the male protagonists of the Bible, they’d be OK. For example, as long as they acted more like David and built a whole city from scratch, they might be able to thrive. Yet he conveniently skips the part of David’s story where he sent one of his generals to die because he had the hots for the man’s wife. In fact, Hawley skips over everything “unmanly” (according to him) about the biblical men. For example, most people in the Bible lived with their parents—it was, in fact, a huge deal when an adult Jacob ran away from home.
Amid the biblical lessons, Hawley gets into what’s likely to be the most headline-grabbing section of the book: “Cheap Sex.” Here, Hawley goes after the porn industry. Again, I don’t wholly disagree—there are certainly problems with porn. Hawley, however, believes porn’s only victims are its viewers. He inundates the reader with statistics on porn’s popularity; the place densest with hard facts is the place they’re least necessary (we all know porn is popular). His rundown of stats, to me, screams, “I’m not the only one, OK?” We believe you, Josh. And if your “manhood” has been affected by pornography, modern medicine is here to help.
We can and should mock Hawley, but we’re taking a risk if we don’t read between the lines. The most notable parts of the book aren’t about the Bible or sex or porn or even masculinity. If you’re going to read any chapter of Manhood, skim the one on “Builders.”
Now, the book is explicitly directed to Christian, cisgender straight men, as Hawley barely believes in any other kind of dude. But he does very little to explain why either our contemporary malaise or virtues such as courage are unique to these fellows. However, for the sake of argument, I’ll play ball and acknowledge the suffering of the Christian, cisgender straight guy. I’ll admit he’s no longer valued for the things he once prided himself on and that the new economy doesn’t feel built for him. I’ll admit that ridiculing men isn’t the answer. I’d like to help but what does Josh think is the answer?
Hawley’s entry point to decrying the left throughout the book is Epicurus, the Greek philosopher and Hawley’s longtime obsession: In a 2010 essay for National Review, he argued that “the left” upholds the Epicurean ideal of individual hedonism over the best interests of the herd. Hawley’s update to this is that “the left’s” Epicurean solution to the problem of manhood is to try to change men’s character (which is, incidentally, the opposite of individualism). As he writes, those mean leftists are trying to change what it means to be a man:
[Get] men to think differently, to reject outmoded stereotypes for more modern, enlightened notions. Adjust the ideology, in other words. Teach boys that aggressiveness is not linked to biology, and that the notion of masculine assertiveness is just another—and dangerous—social construct. Help men find a different set of masculine ideals that don’t lionize the warrior virtues.
It took me a beat to see Hawley’s exact problem with this approach, but after reading the entire book and returning to it, I now see which words he wants the reader to disparage. “Teach.” “Help.” “Adjust.” The idea that men would need any kind of aid. Because, contrary to the book’s title, Hawley isn’t telling men to be more “masculine.” He’s telling men—specifically, the working class—to solve their own problems. Because Josh Hawley sure as shit isn’t going to.
A consistent through line in Manhood is Hawley’s unsettling obsession with restraint. He clearly takes pride in his own body, evidenced by the inclusion of a gratuitous story about strangers asking him if he were an athlete. The only thing he apologizes for—in the entire book—is letting his kids eat doughnuts once a week. In villainizing the Epicurean left, he argues that self-control is the solution. As he writes, “Every man can be a man of liberty. He can know the freedom of self-control and the agency it brings…. Put another way, a man can know what it means to rule.” And then, more explicitly: “[Blue-collar] jobs have disappeared overseas or been simply eliminated. In their stead, our political leaders offer government benefits—welfare, dependency. Dependence is in fact a temptation to every man, in every age.”
Right after this passage, he ridicules a friend’s son for getting fired from his job at a fast-food restaurant.
Maybe Hawley thinks it’s the responsibility of the fast-food employee to keep his job. But let’s say he does—where does that get the fast-food employee? The minimum wage in Missouri is $12 an hour—almost $4 below a livable wage in the state (for someone with no children; the gap is even wider if they have kids, which Hawley believes they must). Whose responsibility is that? What has Hawley done to help men who are struggling? What has he—a United States senator—ever done to empower the working class? Hawley doesn’t care about the working people of Missouri; he doesn’t even live there.
Rather than working across the aisle to boost the minimum wage, Hawley proposed his own convoluted bill with no chance of passing. In the chapter on the diminishing value of blue-collar work, Hawley doesn’t mention unions even once. He’s talked a big pro-union game, like when he lambasted President Biden for selling out rail workers. But his actions? Hawley opposed efforts to roll back Missouri’s anti-union “right to work” laws; his lifetime AFL-CIO score is 4 percent—and where is his support for the pro-worker PRO Act?
While others suggest retraining men for careers that have shortages—such as teaching—Hawley argues that we should stop trying to push men into jobs that don’t appeal to their masculinity. And despite his criticism of Big Tech, his very political career as we know it exists because of early support from Peter Thiel. And may we never forget that in his most iconic moment, he voted against upholding the results of the 2020 election and, in so doing, tried to deny all of us—of all genders, classes, and races—our most basic tool for holding the powerful to account and improving our circumstances: our vote.
I started this review by making fun of Hawley for running away from the January 6 insurrectionists. And we should never stop making fun of that. But we can’t let it be the only thing people know about him. Running from danger isn’t the worst thing he’s ever done, and I’m not sure who would have benefited if Hawley had stood his ground and started swinging fists at the rioters at the Capitol.
It’s what he did before and after that. There are many different ways to be a man, but the type we need is someone who takes responsibility for his actions. Here are Hawley’s actions: All he’s done, for his entire career, is pin the blame on anyone but himself. By that standard of manhood alone, I feel comfortable saying Hawley’s not one.
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kamreadsandrecs · 1 year ago
Text
Ginny Hogan
Josh Hawley, best known for fleeing a mob he helped incite, has written a book on manhood. In Hawley’s defense, he began writing the book before everyone found out about the running-away situation. But it was, unfortunately, after he did the running.
In Manhood, the Missouri senator argues that men are failing, that American masculinity is under siege by “the left” (he rarely gets more specific), and that the solution to this crisis is Bible study and a resurrected appreciation for bygone masculine virtues like courage and strength, while leaving the caregiving professions to the ladies.
I want to begin by acknowledging the value of asking, “Are men treated unfairly?” It’s too easy to dismiss the question. Men are as much a part of society as anyone else, and if there are reasons to believe that recent cultural and political changes are offering them a raw deal, we should probably investigate. And while I wouldn’t go so far as to say that Hawley’s book isn’t misogynistic (there’s a whole chapter on how all men can be kings), I’ll admit that, on the whole, Hawley isn’t completely blaming women for men’s circumstances. Hawley and I have a lot in common, too: Our grandfathers were both Midwestern farmers named Harold, our fathers were both bankers, we both went to Catholic high schools, and to be completely honest, I too would have run away from the January 6 rioters. So it’s not surprising that we can find some common ground.
While Hawley isn’t wrong when he recognizes that something’s up with men, he wildly misses the mark on exactly what that something is. Specifically, he advocates a return to ancient values. He thinks all men need to get married, as a man’s job is to take a “vow” and then “endure” (which feels unnecessarily rude to his own wife). He mocks men who live with their parents, critiques unemployed men (especially those hooked on painkillers), and shames a former student for admitting that he didn’t feel ready to have kids. To be honest, I’m not sure I can imagine a less productive message than encouraging men to become fathers before they’re ready. Hawley is only interested in helping men live the exact same life that he himself leads, even if that life isn’t available (or even desirable) to them. According to recent studies, it turns out that a slight majority of Americans did not attend Yale Law School or receive campaign donations from Peter Thiel.
No one, myself included, should read this book. I was prepared for all the God-talk; I was less ready for the dangling modifiers. Hawley is awfully repetitive and dull. For much of the book, he leans on familiar right-wing canards, such as that “the left” denies the existence of “men” and “women.” We all know this to be a straw man; nothing about acknowledging the existence and humanity of a transgender person suggests a denial of the same for a cisgender man or woman.
Hawley complains about “the left’s” fight to end masculinity, but he ultimately puts the onus on the male reader to fight back and reclaim his own. The bulk of the book is an analysis of six male imperative identities: Husband, Father, Warrior, Builder, Priest, and King—just like the Meredith Brooks song. These aren’t suggested archetypes; it appears men are expected to be all six.
The structure of each chapter is, loosely: personal anecdote, biblical analysis, critique of “the left,” unrelated fact about Teddy Roosevelt. The biblical parts are largely worthless. While he’s not without criticism for his biblical pals (Adam in particular), Hawley’s general claim is that if men copied the male protagonists of the Bible, they’d be OK. For example, as long as they acted more like David and built a whole city from scratch, they might be able to thrive. Yet he conveniently skips the part of David’s story where he sent one of his generals to die because he had the hots for the man’s wife. In fact, Hawley skips over everything “unmanly” (according to him) about the biblical men. For example, most people in the Bible lived with their parents—it was, in fact, a huge deal when an adult Jacob ran away from home.
Amid the biblical lessons, Hawley gets into what’s likely to be the most headline-grabbing section of the book: “Cheap Sex.” Here, Hawley goes after the porn industry. Again, I don’t wholly disagree—there are certainly problems with porn. Hawley, however, believes porn’s only victims are its viewers. He inundates the reader with statistics on porn’s popularity; the place densest with hard facts is the place they’re least necessary (we all know porn is popular). His rundown of stats, to me, screams, “I’m not the only one, OK?” We believe you, Josh. And if your “manhood” has been affected by pornography, modern medicine is here to help.
We can and should mock Hawley, but we’re taking a risk if we don’t read between the lines. The most notable parts of the book aren’t about the Bible or sex or porn or even masculinity. If you’re going to read any chapter of Manhood, skim the one on “Builders.”
Now, the book is explicitly directed to Christian, cisgender straight men, as Hawley barely believes in any other kind of dude. But he does very little to explain why either our contemporary malaise or virtues such as courage are unique to these fellows. However, for the sake of argument, I’ll play ball and acknowledge the suffering of the Christian, cisgender straight guy. I’ll admit he’s no longer valued for the things he once prided himself on and that the new economy doesn’t feel built for him. I’ll admit that ridiculing men isn’t the answer. I’d like to help but what does Josh think is the answer?
Hawley’s entry point to decrying the left throughout the book is Epicurus, the Greek philosopher and Hawley’s longtime obsession: In a 2010 essay for National Review, he argued that “the left” upholds the Epicurean ideal of individual hedonism over the best interests of the herd. Hawley’s update to this is that “the left’s” Epicurean solution to the problem of manhood is to try to change men’s character (which is, incidentally, the opposite of individualism). As he writes, those mean leftists are trying to change what it means to be a man:
[Get] men to think differently, to reject outmoded stereotypes for more modern, enlightened notions. Adjust the ideology, in other words. Teach boys that aggressiveness is not linked to biology, and that the notion of masculine assertiveness is just another—and dangerous—social construct. Help men find a different set of masculine ideals that don’t lionize the warrior virtues.
It took me a beat to see Hawley’s exact problem with this approach, but after reading the entire book and returning to it, I now see which words he wants the reader to disparage. “Teach.” “Help.” “Adjust.” The idea that men would need any kind of aid. Because, contrary to the book’s title, Hawley isn’t telling men to be more “masculine.” He’s telling men—specifically, the working class—to solve their own problems. Because Josh Hawley sure as shit isn’t going to.
A consistent through line in Manhood is Hawley’s unsettling obsession with restraint. He clearly takes pride in his own body, evidenced by the inclusion of a gratuitous story about strangers asking him if he were an athlete. The only thing he apologizes for—in the entire book—is letting his kids eat doughnuts once a week. In villainizing the Epicurean left, he argues that self-control is the solution. As he writes, “Every man can be a man of liberty. He can know the freedom of self-control and the agency it brings…. Put another way, a man can know what it means to rule.” And then, more explicitly: “[Blue-collar] jobs have disappeared overseas or been simply eliminated. In their stead, our political leaders offer government benefits—welfare, dependency. Dependence is in fact a temptation to every man, in every age.”
Right after this passage, he ridicules a friend’s son for getting fired from his job at a fast-food restaurant.
Maybe Hawley thinks it’s the responsibility of the fast-food employee to keep his job. But let’s say he does—where does that get the fast-food employee? The minimum wage in Missouri is $12 an hour—almost $4 below a livable wage in the state (for someone with no children; the gap is even wider if they have kids, which Hawley believes they must). Whose responsibility is that? What has Hawley done to help men who are struggling? What has he—a United States senator—ever done to empower the working class? Hawley doesn’t care about the working people of Missouri; he doesn’t even live there.
Rather than working across the aisle to boost the minimum wage, Hawley proposed his own convoluted bill with no chance of passing. In the chapter on the diminishing value of blue-collar work, Hawley doesn’t mention unions even once. He’s talked a big pro-union game, like when he lambasted President Biden for selling out rail workers. But his actions? Hawley opposed efforts to roll back Missouri’s anti-union “right to work” laws; his lifetime AFL-CIO score is 4 percent—and where is his support for the pro-worker PRO Act?
While others suggest retraining men for careers that have shortages—such as teaching—Hawley argues that we should stop trying to push men into jobs that don’t appeal to their masculinity. And despite his criticism of Big Tech, his very political career as we know it exists because of early support from Peter Thiel. And may we never forget that in his most iconic moment, he voted against upholding the results of the 2020 election and, in so doing, tried to deny all of us—of all genders, classes, and races—our most basic tool for holding the powerful to account and improving our circumstances: our vote.
I started this review by making fun of Hawley for running away from the January 6 insurrectionists. And we should never stop making fun of that. But we can’t let it be the only thing people know about him. Running from danger isn’t the worst thing he’s ever done, and I’m not sure who would have benefited if Hawley had stood his ground and started swinging fists at the rioters at the Capitol.
It’s what he did before and after that. There are many different ways to be a man, but the type we need is someone who takes responsibility for his actions. Here are Hawley’s actions: All he’s done, for his entire career, is pin the blame on anyone but himself. By that standard of manhood alone, I feel comfortable saying Hawley’s not one.
0 notes