#he is monogamous and has a fiancé. also I don’t like him that way. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

my-my-my · 2 years ago

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hey!! i love your writing and your blog. currently my aizen worms are wriggling in my brain so could i request the SFW alphabet for aizen?

I've never done the alphabets before, so this will be fun!! I'm putting it under a cut because it is LONG. I hope you enjoy. I am pre-facing this as Muken!Aizen.

A - AFFECTION | How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?

Aizen is affectionate in private overall - he doesn't like to be overly dotting and sweet in public. The most you'll get is him holding your hand and maybe a peck on the cheek. It doesn't mean he's callous, but his affection for you is for your eyes only. No one else is privvy to that.

B - BEST FRIEND | What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?

I think he would be an interesting best friend! He’d be very thoughtful and patient. He’d probably give the best advice lol. I think for a friendship to start though, you have to be at his level on same way, whether that’s his power or intelligence. Or even having the same beliefs.

But he’d bat for you - he’d always been in your corner. I think Aizen’s loyalty is to himself, but if he had you as a friend, he’d also stay true to you. The only way it would go badly (imo) is if you show loyalties to other people, or even ideologies. I think he would drop you very fast.

C - CUDDLES | Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?

No, I don’t see him as a cuddler, but he would hug you if you needed/wanted it. I see him as a big spoon though. I think his embraces are all encompassing- he surrounds you with warmth and it fills you with a sense of calm. He’d make sure you’re relaxed before letting go.

I do think Aizen wouldn’t mind if you sat in his lap though. He seems like the kinda person to enjoy that 🤭

D - DOMESTIC | Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?

I don't think Aizen would want to settle down in a conventional sense, unless it benefited him in the long run lol. Not necessarily because he has commitment issues or anything, but it's not a priority for him to be domestic in a sense. He's domestic if he has to be domestic.

It's why I HC him at cleaning and cooking out of necessity, not necessarily because he enjoys it lol.

E - ENDING | If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?

Depends on the partner, I think. If Aizen suspects them of cheating or something like that, I think Aizen would toy with them emotionally (because he's a creep).

If it's just a mutual loss of love, I think he would be honest with the person and let them go. There's no explanations though (unless they wanted it), but I think Aizen has some tact in how to he would break up with a partner.

F - FIANCÉ | How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?

I mention this in D, but I don't think he's necessarily domestic, or interested in commitment unless it has value to him. I do think he would want exclusivity/monogamous relationships, and maybe a marriage proposal is a way to do it in his eyes lol.

I think if Aizen were to proposal, there would be a short engagement period. I think the man has the means to give his partner the wedding of their dreams (if they're interested).

G - GENTLE | How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?

He can be gentle, but he's not inherently gentle imo. That being said, if you're having a bad day, he would always be there to listen to you vent and console you. He knows when to be gentle, and he's more than willing to show you that side of himself than to anyone else.

H - HUGS | Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?

I don't think he particular cares for hugs, but he does like your gentle hugs. It always catches him off guard how soft you are and how he feels his heart beat steadying in your arms. It relaxes him.

I - I LOVE YOU | How fast do they say the L-word?

Oh you'll def be the one saying it first. I think Aizen is super guarded as a person, but when he says "I love you", it would be in a very surprising, private moment between the two of you.

I think those words carry a lot of weight for him, and he doesn't want to say them so casually - he would need to be certain of his relationship with you, and of you as an individual. He was/is a lonely man - I don't think he would be so careless and share those words with anyone.

J - JEALOUSY | How jealous do they get? What do you they do when they're jealous?

I don't think he gets jealous per se, I think he sees it as an emotion that's beneath him, but he does get a bit... possessive from time to time. Maybe you're spending a lot more time with Shinji or Urahara, and he doesn't like that!

I'd like to think when he gets a bit jealous, some kisses and hand holding, makes him feel reassured.

K - KISSES | What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?

His kisses are passionate and intense. He wants to sweep you off your feet and leave you breathless. He should be the only one on your mind after he kisses you! He loves your lips, but will also kiss your neck and shoulders and some other places but that's nsfw.

But he likes quick pecks from you, soft kisses on his forehead. It's something very endearing that he didn't get to experience a lot!

L - LITTLE ONES | How are they around children?

I think Aizen would be very patient with children! He may go into teacher mode with them too, but its patience that's the biggest takeaway with how he handles children.

He's inherently a learner and teacher of the world around him, and children, no matter their age, always bring a different view of the world they're discovering for themselves. I think Aizen would be curious to see how a child navigates the world around them, and how they would handle his advice/teaching.

M - MORNING | How are mornings spent with them?

Aizen's an early-bird! He'll have tea/coffee brewing for both of you, maybe some pastries to go with it, as he catches up on the news. I think Aizen would have a plan (for himself at least) on what he's doing day-to-day, even a day-off has a plan lol.

N - NIGHT | How are nights spent with them?

They're quiet - he loves your company the most, and you two don't necessarily have to be doing anything together, but knowing you're near him, puts him at ease. I think Aizen would go out of his way and plan for romantic nights with the two of you, whatever that romance may look for you - but he's thoughtful and considerate. He always makes sure you feel loved and wanted.

O - OPEN | When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?

Aizen is the master of playing the long game. You could be together for a year, and still know very little about him (while he knows almost everything about you). He's private, but I think if you've been with him for a while, the mask and locks crack. He begins opening up a bit about himself, and see how receptive you are to his "ugly truths". It'll take a very patient person to get through to him.

P - PATIENCE | How easily angered are they?

Aizen is super patient. I think he's genuinely one of the most patient characters in the series. You don't fuck around with an organization for over a century without the patience of a saint!

And for you, that patience is even higher. He's very considerate of your feelings and thoughts. Maybe he doesn't agree all the time, but he's not going to get angry.

Q - QUIZZES | How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?

Aizen probably stalked you, let's be real. He knows everything about you, from where you lived as a child, to the precise details of your CV/resume lmao.

R - REMEMBER | What is their favourite moment in your relationship?

I think it would be your reaction to when he first says "I love you", the way your eyes lit up, as you gave him a smile and told him the same. It was the gentleness in your eyes that captivated him, and seared that memory in his mind forever.

S - SECURITY | How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?

Aizen is very protective, but he knows you're strong on your own. I don't think he likes the concept of having a clingy and weak partner - he needs someone on par, or almost as equal to him in intelligence. It's one thing to be physically strong, but if you're dumb as rocks, he's not gonna entertain you.

That being said, he trusts you to know how to handle your own battles, but he's also loyal and protective of you. The moment you need his help, he'll swoop in.

I also think, Aizen is so used to being alone, that the thought of someone defending him, protecting him, would be so foreign. He would be in shock as you helped him up, healed him, etc. He could sense that these are genuine acts of kindness from you, and he makes sure to repay you.

T - TRY | How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?

Aizen is pretty effortless in how they plan dates, anniversaries and other events. He knows you so well, he can probably think of 100,000 ways to surprise you and keep you smiling. He would give you the moon if he could.

And if you asked him for help with chores, he'd help, but don't expect him to be on chore duty forever! Aizen seems to like equality, so I think equal division of chores/labour is more his style.

U - UGLY | What would be some bad habits of theirs?

He'd be the annoying partner who'd finish your sentence for you lol. He knows what you're thinking and it kind of gets annoying. I also don't think he'd be as kind as people project him to be, so when he's callous (with other people), you have to "reign" him in, so to speak. Almost like training him on how to interact with genuine kindness?

I can see him being snippy too with people, and you have to remind him of "patience being a virtue".

V - VANITY | How concerned are they with their looks?

I don't think Aizen is vain, but he does care about his looks a reasonable amount. He knows he's good looking and has probably used it to his advantage lol, but he's not obsessed with his looks.

That being said, he probably cares about the quality of his clothes and attire. His wardrobe (in an AU setting), would likely be higher quality, maybe some luxury designer, but nothing flashy with overbearing logos.

W - WHOLE | Would they feel incomplete without you?

For Aizen, I think a life without you, is something he already knows, is something he's familiar with, and to be honest, something he was expecting until he died. He never imagined meeting someone like you, and how you brought another perspective of life to him.

He thought he had it all figured out, but you keep him on his toes, yet still make time for him, and only him. He loves that about you, and it's not so much that he feels "incomplete", but life is certainly more entertaining and better with you in it.

X - XTRA | A random headcanon

I think Aizen would feel genuine fear/anxiety if he had child(ren) of his own! I think he would try to foster friendships for them so they don't experience the same loneliness he felt.

I also think he has a refined palate.

Y - YUCK | What are some things they wouldn't like either in general or in a partner?

I don't think he'd like an unhygienic partner, and def no nail biters.

Going back to the refined palate headcanon, I don't think he would like a partner who wasn't an adventurous eater to some extent. Not that he's a foodie, but he probably enjoys fine dining, so picky eaters are a big No for him.

Z - ZZZ | What is a sleep habit of theirs?

He drools a bit when he's deep sleeping! And he sleeps on his stomach. I think he trained himself to be a light sleeper so he doesn't get caught off guard. With you though, he always feels relaxed. He loves spooning you, or falling asleep to you humming.

I don't think he likes to read before bed. Bed is for sleeping, so he might skim something, but don't expect a book by his nightside table!

Wow, this was long! I hope you enjoyed this!

#aizen sousuke #sousuke aizen #aizen sosuke #sosuke aizen #bleach #bleach writings #aizen headcanon #aizen #sfw alphabet #a writes

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cocoartistwrites · 1 year ago

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Earlier this year, my fiancé asked for an open relationship in the most respectful manner. I was shocked and saddened and hurt, but at that time I somehow saw the point and agreed. Our relationship has been great. Our rules: don’t date our friends & families, don’t talk about our ‘date’ unless if it’s just informing that he or I have a date and don’t be curious about the other person.

My fiancé, let’s call him Ben, has been very open and always reassuring that I’m better etc etc. He also pushes me to find another date, so I did. While I know Ben dated/hooked up with several women, it’s harder for me to find someone. However there’s one guy who I met from a pottery class. And he knows the situation and we dated. His name is Luke.

Fast forward now, Luke is still the only guy I dated. I don’t know why I can’t look away from him. He’s also like that with me. I catched him looking at me numerous times. It’s so cute.

Luke is an animator, so he’s very artsy but also very very very very busy. But he always makes time for me. His time is only divided into two, for his work and for me. Luke is so kind and thoughtful. He remembers every single thing about me. He’s unintentionally romantic. One time Luke asked me what’s my favorite flower, I didn’t have any. So twice a week he sent me random flowers. Lilies, tulips, carnations, daisies, you name it. Not in a big bouquet, just small cute bouquets. He would call later and would quizzes me about the colors, the smell, the shape etc. Now I have one, it’s azaleas 🌺

Ben is also very nice, very romantic, but he’s just like every other guy.

Luke is so different. He is so interested in me. He would ask me my favorite colors and why I like it. He would give me color palettes and ask me my opinion. What makes it beautiful? From him I learn that I love every colors, I just need to see it in the proper place. I think it’s because he’s an artist, he sees colors differently.

I love Luke. He just asked me to be his girlfriend.

I love Ben too. He loves me in his own way, he’s very open and honest, he’s determined. And he has proposed to me. Luke, doesn’t believe in marriage but for me it’s important.

I don’t love Ben as much as I love Luke. Luke made me feel young, adventurous, loved.

What should I do? Sorry it’s a bit bragging because I am. Luke made me so loved.

Girl honestly, it sounds like you've got the best of both worlds what do you need to change? There's no urgency here is there? Why can't you just enjoy yourself?

Look this is a very romantic-sounding dilemma and I don't think there's any obvious answer. It might end up with you losing everything or you might find a way to have everything. It's not like you're cheating is it? You've done nothing wrong here.

Some of your choices: you can choose to carry on as you are as long as everyone's happy and grown up about it, you can bin stability for romance, you can decide that actually stability matters more to you, or you can decide neither of these men has all of what you want. None of these are the right option or the wrong one and they're not even the only ones. Also probably no one has everything you want but idk about that just because I've never found all of it.

So let's circle back to the opening up of the relationship. It sounds to me like you didn't want to do that, that you're innately monogamous, and that you have swapped one monogamy for another. Do you love this man for himself or in contrast to Ben? You might do! But think about that. Part of me is like what a fun lesson for Ben about forcing you to do something you didn't want to do but also if you hadn't wanted it I think you should have said that.

Do you think you should talk to Ben about Luke? Do you think Luke will burn out? That doesn't sound like a sustainable level of romance to me, though I'd like to be wrong.

It's very difficult to compare the honeymoon phase with one man v the long established routine of life with another.

And as I said - do you have to make a choice now?

#dilemmas we'd all enjoy let's be real

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polyadvice · 3 years ago

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I'm trying out polyamory with my partner, but we're having a hard time communicating about it

So my fiancée and I started a poly relationship and I think I made a big mistake. At first Poly sounded like a great thing for me and I thought I was into it but I have no idea how to get over how it’s making me feel.

My fiancée recently got a boyfriend and I love that she’s happy.

I just know that in the last few weeks I’ve been subtly hedging at the fact that I’m uncomfortable with how soon she jumped into this and how fast it’s progressing. We had just had a huge 3 day non fight/misunderstanding, and we had just got it fixed then less than 5 hours later she’s talking to him about being her boyfriend. She has hinted back that if I were to speak my piece now that she’s with him that she’d probably leave me. Idk if she really would but that’s how it came across. Also she said she would have been totally fine being monogamous if we hadn’t decided to open our relationship in the first place and it feels like she’s pinning it on me.

Is it wrong of be to be super hurt that she is not valuing me in this way? I wouldn’t ask her to break up with him. I really like the guy, he has been her best friend since 6th grade. They have insane chemistry that I’m honestly envious of. Several people have told me that he is going to steal her away from me. I just want my thoughts heard and maybe for her to help me through whatever is going on in my head.

“Hedging” and “hinting” are not healthy or effective methods of communication in any relationship! You two need to stop trying to become amateur psychics and just speak with each other openly, honestly, and clearly.

It sounds like you’re worried that if you express any sort of discomfort or unmet need, she will interpret it as you asking her to end the relationship. But you’re not seeing things as “zero sum” or “black and white,” and you’re capable of having uncomfortable feelings without demanding that she immediately blow everything up to soothe you. That’s great - so you need to TELL her that!

You know what you want: to feel heard and to be able to have safe conversations about your own feelings without her immediately jumping to “okay, if you insist, I’ll end this relationship.” You were able to articulate this to me very well, so now you need to say that to her.

I’d encourage you to stop the “bean counting” about how many hours elapse between conversations; life is complicated and people just do things, and there’s not usually much significance to the specifics. But it’s okay for you to feel any way you feel, and it’s okay to want those feelings heard.

Try saying something like this to her:

“Hey, I want you to know that I support your new relationship. I see the chemistry you two have, and I respect the connection between you two. At the same time, this polyamory thing is very new for me, and sometimes I have feelings or anxieties come up in my head.

When that happens, it doesn’t mean that I am trying to pressure you to make a change. I don’t want my feelings to function as a threat to your relationship, and I don’t ever want to make you feel like I’m using my own discomfort to push you into ending things with him.

However, I do need to know that you understand my feelings, that you can be present to me in my discomfort, and that we can talk things out. Sometimes I just need some of your time and attention, and sometimes I just need to know that you heard me out when I wanted to share my feelings.

What can I do to express my feelings of discomfort without making you feel like I’m asking you to leave your other partner? How can I ask for your presence and care without you seeing it as a demand or accusation?”

Then tell her what she can do to help you feel heard when you share your thoughts and feelings. Be as specific as possible - maybe you just need her to say “thanks for telling me that, I know this is new and hard and sometimes scary, I really appreciate you being willing to explore this with me!” and give you a hug. Maybe you have some specific questions you need her to answer, or specific reassurances about your relationship that you need her to speak and then demonstrate with certain actions.

It sounds like the existence of communication, especially communication about tough feelings, is something that makes you two uncomfortable right now, so do whatever you can to get some practice with that skill and build that muscle.

You could suggest reading some materials on healthy polyamory together, so you can have some open discussions about what you’re reading. Sometimes people prefer to have these conversations over email so that they can take a break or not get caught up in their emotional responses. Maybe you two would benefit from some time together where you don’t talk about any of this, but just tend to your relationship together! Do some exploration and experimentation and figure out what makes you feel heard and secure.

#newly poly #communication #feelings #open communication #polyamory

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khoicesbyk · 4 years ago

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Heyyyyy! It must be Sunday! Which means it’s time for another Six Sentence (hit it Al!):

And this is a snippet of my next chapter of Second Chance Romance!

Tag List: @shewillreadyou @choiceslady @secretaryunpaid @aussieez @txemrn @bebepac @kingliam2019 @glaimtruelovealways @texaskitten30 @choicesficwriterscreations

It’s an interesting and intriguing conversation centered around their relationship between My King and His Queen.

It was 2 weeks before the parliamentary vote as to who would rightfully run Cordonia. And Shanelle and Marquise were having breakfast one morning when she dropped a bombshell on him. She wanted them to explore being a polyamorous couple.

“Shanelle you have got to be joking!” Marquise said to his fiancée.

“No I’m not. And it’s time for us to stop kidding ourselves.” Shanelle replied.

He just stared at her. The suggestion was unfathomable to him.

“Do you have any idea what the repercussions will be?” He asks her.

“Yes I do. Which is why we should do this. Think about it, Marquise! It’s the best of both worlds!” She replied.

“I can not believe that you are suggesting this.”

“I’m suggesting this because I know you’re still in love with Tanya.”

“But…I…I…”

“Babe I’m not angry. I want you to know that. I don’t want us to have any regrets. And I feel like a traditional monogamous marriage will leave us with regrets.”

He was in shock and yet he was kinda intrigued.

“You’re not saying that you don’t love me are you?” He asks.

“No I love you and I’m in love with you. I always have been and I always will be. But again I know how you feel about Tanya. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. You still love her. You’re still in love with her. And I want you to know that it’s okay if you choose to pursue her.” She replied.

He was stuck. He knew he couldn’t lie to Shanelle. He does still love Tanya. Madly. Deeply. And he was tired of hiding it from her.

“I don't know what to say to you. And I don’t want to hurt you, My Queen. And I swear on my life that I do love you. And I will make you my wife and THE Queen of Cordonia. I just…with her…I have a love with and for her that I can’t deny anymore.”

“I know.”

“I just…I never got over her. And constantly being around her…it…”

“Brought back feelings that you weren't willing to admit to?” She asked.

He nodded his head.

“Yeah I know.”

“Let me guess…troll?” He asks.

“Would you hate me if I said yes?” She replies.

“Of course not. Like I said, me being around my ex and you being around yours…has brought up feelings we both weren’t willing to admit to. But none of it changes how we feel about each other.” He replies.

“So if I wanted to explore with Damon…you won’t throw me in chains?” She asked.

“Never. I trust you, my love. And I also know that you trust me.” He replied as he kissed the palm of her left hand.

“I don't want you to think that he’d replace you. Because that will never happen. You my king are irreplaceable to me. I just know that when it comes to love, your heart as well as mine has space to love and be in love with more than one person.”

#choices #pixelberry #choices stories you play #khoicesbyk #choices fanfiction #fanfic #the royal romance #king marquise #queen shanelle #queen of cordonia #king of cordonia #six sentence sunday

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fizzip0p · 4 years ago

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Hello Robert, you are busy!! So in terms of Adam, do you think they had sex? I personally don't, because Kurt was still attached to Blaine, and only wanted that intimcay with Blaine. The only time we ever see Kadam touch is when Adam takes his hand in GaBoF. And Walter? People like to think in HC, that they did have sex - maybe because they want to think Kurt didn't just have sex with one guy? I just don't think he was at that stage of relationship with either. (ignoring the Santa now.)

Hey there!

Okay, short version is: Yes, I think Kurt Hummel was sexual with other men other than Blaine. He isn't a Disney Prince character, he's more than Blaine's bf/ex-bf/fiancé - he's a gay guy who is his own person and enjoys sex, not an animal who mates with one person and one person only.

Loger version:

Blaine was his first sexual experience. He is in love with Blaine. Blaine is the only person he has sex with multiple times. There's no denying that. But lets diminish the idea that in order for a character to only love their person they can only get sexual satisfaction from them only. Kurt Hummel is monogamous and he definitely treats sex to connect to another person, as he does not throw himself around like he doesn't matter. Blaine is the person that does it best, however!

Now that's out of the way!

With Adam? I think there was an attempt.

We see Adam knowing Kurt has feelings for Blaine that he can't get over. He suggests they find their own movie on the fly, in a manner of trying to help because he does like Kurt. He wants Kurt (who wouldn't?). And he wants to help Kurt explore the world because Kurt's only been with one person up until this point. So, I think there was an attempt for sexual connection! It probably included making out and trying to get it to the next level.

But Kurt couldn't get into it. Why? Because by the time Adam is trying, Kurt's already let himself attach back to Blaine (after Christmas or even the Wemma wedding episode). So he just can't get into it, and he stops the sexual petting before it can continue to something more intimate. It's probably why we don't see Adam or hear about him again. Kurt's checked out, so there was never any sexual satisfaction found there.

Now based off the Season 5 Christmas episode, it's clear Kurt has NO problems being sexually suggestive with other men if he's attracted to them. I know you said ignoring Sexy Santa, but it's important to show Kurt is very much into the idea of having sex with other men. He also denies this guy after making out, however, and I don't think it's because he didn't want to. I think it's because Santa was getting pushy for the bondage and even made an insulting remark about Kurt not having teeth (wtf). But also, Rachel and Santana were in the apartment and Kurt wanted to be considerate to them (even if they are passed out). Kurt got down to his underwear. Kurt was ready. If it was an HBO show, I am sure Kurt would've been full on naked. But then the red flags about Santa being creepy started to finally shine through more clearly for Kurt's tipsy brain to connect to, and Kurt lost his hard-on (even drunk, Kurt can think for himself thank you). And then we know what happens there! Which is probably another reason why Blaine's appearance at Christmas reminds Kurt that he loves and trust the guy, and overcomes the Santa incident with Blaine because Blaine is familiar and will go at his speed. Blaine's his person. So after the Santa incident? He doesn't seek out anyone else, as the Santa incident was another level of PTSD and he throws himself into Vogue and NYADA as a distraction.

Now with Walter! After the second break-up, Kurt is going out on dates. He's seeking companionship openly. He misses it. He's definitely having more casual sex during this time BEFORE he returns to Ohio. Because sex doesn't need to have feelings tied in, sometimes there's a spark and both parties give in. I'm sure Kurt talks about Blaine however, and that's why the guys don't call him back (like the psychic guy calling him out immediately on that). So he returns to Ohio, finds out Blaine's dating and decides to go on a date himself - enter Walter.

I do believe he and Walter had sex ONCE. Because Kurt needs to move on, right? He isn't going to put on a chastity belt and wait for someone who may never come (no pun intended). He does use sex to connect and be intimate, hell yes. And he is in no way throwing himself around either, but to think he can't explore and experience other areas that Blaine can't give him when they're broken up? Especially with his boyfriend at the time. Older man or someone of the same age, Kurt has needs that he'd like to experience with someone else. And Walter, who has just come out of the closet himself? This would be one of the first relationships he has where he's open and has no guilt. Their first and only time together is nice, and Kurt is into it but doesn't seek it out again, even if Walter may suggest or hint at wanting to do it again. And that's because Kurt isn't intimately attached to the guy. And with the elevator moment and Kurt subtly trying to spend more time with Blaine? Yeah, it's clear he's still on a mission to get Blaine back. And clearly Walter has that feeling as he's the one who encourages Kurt to go to Blaine in the first place.

#answered #Kurt Hummel

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areiton · 5 years ago

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End of Year Recs - 2019

It’s the end of year fic round up time--and this year I’m doing things a little different. I’m gonna do my favorite two fic for each ship or gen pairing I really enjoyed this year, and then (up to) five honorable mentions.

So here--without particular order, my faves from the year!! Also this is long as hell so hit read more for...more...

Irondad

we’re gonna have to do this together by edibna (Irondad | MCU)

Being a superhero sometimes means you forget about the small dangers in the world, like disease. For Peter, this means he loses May to natural causes, not something he could ever save her from.

Unknown to him, May left custody of Peter in the hands of Tony Stark, who, even though he wants kids, has no idea how to actually raise one. With a grieving superhero teenager on his hands, Tony is going to have to figure it out quick, if he wants Peter to ever be able to move on and be happy.

Webcams and Webshooters by losingmymindtonight (Irondad | MCU)

Once Peter's relationship with Tony gets out, the public can't get enough of their new favorite father-son duo.

So, naturally, they monopolize.

(Or: Tony and Peter's relationship, as seen through videos.)

Honorable Mentions:

Put out every star

Holdfasts

i'm the satellite (And you're the sky)

stars, hide your fires

miscommunications

~*~*~

Winteriron

fractures (filled) with liquid gold by itsallAvengers (Winteriron | MCU)

Ultron happened. The Avengers left.

Tony is fine with being alone again. He always worked better as a Lone Wolf than a team player anyway. He's not sleeping or eating or resting or... living, but it's fine. It's good. It's okay.

And then there's James.

illuminate me by Half_SubmergedinPurgatory (Winteriron | MCU)

Tony isn't a healthy man. He's fine with that, really. It makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, he has a job to do that kind of has his health as a major requirement. So he unmakes himself, remakes the Accords, protects every single child super that enters his field of view, and hopes ferociously that the Avengers never come back to the US. He doesn't spend any time at all rebuilding Bucky Barnes' life. Not a single second. Anything he does that contributes to him is simply an accident.

Bucky is a patient man. It's ok if Tony wants to ignore him for now. He won't be able to forever.

(Somewhere in the world, a sense of dread crawls up the back of Tony's spine)

Honorable Mentions:

a street corner in Cambridge

does it hurt

the road less traveled at the end of the line

scars

looking at you

~*~*~

Sambucky

winter, sweetheart by wilsonsnest (Sambucky | MCU)

To know the Falcon’s identity feels surreal to Bucky. It means nothing. As far as Hydra was concerned, Sam Wilson was erased. He has only ever been The Falcon and to Bucky he’s always been Sweetheart.

we could jump state lines (we only get the one life) by notcaycepollard (Sambucky | MCU)

It starts in Paris.

“You can’t steal things just because you like them,” Sam tells Bucky, feeling innately that this is a losing battle, and Bucky cocks his head to the side, considers Sam very thoughtfully.

“Really,” he says. “I’m stealing you, aren’t I?”

Honorable Mentions:

seek out hidden places

not an end, but (the start of all things)

cancel all your reservations (no more hesitations)

they gave you a heart, they gave you a name

you touch me within and so I (i know I could be human once again)

~*~*~

Starker

Stipulations by anonymous (Starker | MCU )

Peter Parker’s longterm dream recently went from ‘get into MIT’ to ‘afford going to MIT’. As the time approaches, it’s dawning on him that he won’t be able to pay his tuition and afford the move to Cambridge all at once: he’s out of money, his secrets are beginning to pile up, and desperation has started creeping in...

And then one night, he saves Tony Stark’s life.

mr. hurricane by spqr (Starker | MCU)

Peter makes it to the ripe old age of 26 without anyone finding out he’s Spider-Man. And then he falls asleep during a B&E at Stark Tower, and the rest is—well, the rest is this.

Honorable Mentions:

Both Ways

breaking point

velvet elvis

the leash

left hand free

~*~*~

Thorki

along a deserted highway by trieduntrue (Thorki | MCU)

The events of Thor (2011) take a different turn when both Thor and Loki are sent to Midgard without their powers as punishment for their misdeeds. With nothing except each other, they go on a journey to reclaim Mjolnir together.

soft shocks by stereobone (Thorki | MCU)

"And why," says Thor, "would I need to come with you to Jötunheim?"

"Ah, well," Loki says. "They may be under the impression that we're married."

Honorable Mentions:

How Long We Were Fooled

we spent our darkest days howling at the moon

~*~*~

Ironhusbands

touch the sky by scrollgirl (Ironhusbands | MCU)

Jamie Rhodes wouldn't be who she is today without her friendship with Tony Stark. The flip side of that is Tony Stark wouldn't be Iron Man without the twenty-five years he's been in love with her.

twenty five years by Not Applicable (Ironhusbands | MCU)

Nobody knows how long this has actually been going on. (Tony Stark has pretty much been in a monogamous relationship since he was 18 years old.)

Honorable Mentions:

a date on the moon

home for the non-holidays

reconstruction

pretend we're in love (the heartache still hurts)

i place your hands around my neck

~*~*~

Winterhawk

silhouette by mariana_oconnor (Winterhawk | MCU)

After a mission in Mexico goes wrong, SHIELD Agents Barnes and Rogers are given the job of hunting down the notorious Hawkeye and the Black Widow, the only problem being: no one even knows what they look like.

On the other side of the law, Clint's enjoying messing with their new SHIELD shadows, especially seeing how close he can get to Agent Barnes without him realising, but he makes the mistake of getting attached, and that makes everything more complicated.

nameless by AvaKelly (Winterhawk | MCU)

A gun is pointed at him before he can even move from his position, the Soldier's metal arm steady in its aim. Clint sighs.

"Nemo," Clint says. "It's tattooed on your wrist, right here," he lifts his right hand and taps his left index finger where his palm ends.

The Soldier's eyes widen. "How do you know this?"

"I put it there."

Honorable Mentions:

What do you mean we left Clint on Mars

clint barton's super secret snipers' club

lucky in love

i'll keep you safe here with me

complications

~*~*~

RPF

the end of the missing by eadunne2 (Evanstan | MCU RPF)

Sebastian remembers this from before, Chris’s physicality, remembers shoving and tripping one another, and hugs that lingered. It had been silly, friendly, until some vague, unspoken moment towards the end of filming when their relationship had changed again - Chris circling Sebastian’s wrist with his hand, or a palm to his lower back, only on rough days, only when Chris noticed him tensing up against unpleasantness in his own mind. At first Seb wanted to apologize, brokenness is a tiresome trait, but the actions seem to calm Chris too, ease his busy brain. When they lost touch Seb pretended not to miss it; he wouldn’t have had a chance to anyway, right? - with two dozen excellent fuck buddies all over the globe. Weird how they all had blue eyes though.

I would lose my decadence (for your love) by deadhearts (Stackie | MCU RPF)

The thing of it was that Mackie had just been trying to make a point. He'd just been trying to shut him up, or to make something clear, and he'd done what he'd set out to do. Sebastian had been well and properly put in his place. He'd been put in his place so well that Mackie had never touched him again, not in that way, because he'd never had the need: whatever question he'd been asking had been so thoroughly and roundly answered that there wasn't any need to ask it twice.

Honorable Mentions:

Like O, Like H

when you kiss me i just gotta say (baby i love you)

cross the line

fine until you're not

~*~*~

Stucky

ain’t no grave (can keep my body down) by spitandvinegar (Stucky | MCU)

It's six in the morning, and Steve is heading out on a run when he nearly trips over a bouquet of sunflowers on the front steps of his brownstone.

For a second paranoia takes over, and he kicks the flowers a little, waiting for them to explode. They don't. They also came with a card, which he picks up. The front of the card has a tasteful picture of the Brooklyn bridge at sunset. It's very nice and sedate, like the kind of card you would buy to give to your boss. On the inside someone has written a short message in big, shaky block letters.

I AM SORRY FOR SHOOTING YOU.

Steve sits down hard on the steps.

there should be stars by childhoodinfamy (Stucky | MCU)

“All memories to tell you the truth aren’t good.

But sometimes there were good times.

Love was good. I loved your crooked sleep

beside me and never dreamed afraid.

There should be stars for great wars

like ours. There ought to be awards

and plenty of champagne for the survivors.”

- Sandra Cisneros

Or, it takes them decades.

Honorable Mentions:

This, you protect

little animal lives

the long game

a long winter

the art of cooking for two

~*~*~

Stony

never too late for love by Sineala (Stony | MCU)

Steve has always believed that a soulbond is a blessing -- a rare and beautiful miracle, joining the thoughts and feelings of two people forever, from the first time they touch. Steve knows he's not going to be one of the lucky ones. He knows Gail isn't his soulmate. But he loves her, even if they're not soulmates, and he's going to do right by her. After the war's over, he's going to marry her, and they're going to settle down. They'll buy a house. They'll have children. He'll see his family again. Maybe Bucky will live next door. It's going to be a good life. He doesn't need a soulbond. He'll be fine without one.

Then Steve wakes up sixty years in the future to find that his wonderful life has moved on without him. His family is long dead. His fiancée married his best friend. And the only purpose he has left is leading the Ultimates, a misbegotten team of superheroes with flaws too numerous to count. Steve hates everything about the future -- but most of all he detests Tony, flashy and flirtatious, who embodies everything Steve hates about a world he never wanted to live in.

And, oh, yeah, Steve has a soulmate after all: Tony fucking Stark.

wait and sea by lenalena (Stony | MCU)

In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds....

Honorable Mentions:

celestial navigation

the song without words

dear mr fantasy

slipping off the page into your hands

the twice-told tale

~*~*~

Stuckony

hide a heart of war by Hummingbird_52 (Stuckony | MCU)

“You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.”

Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

the stories we write by NotEvenCloseToStraight (Stuckony | MCU)

A question at an interview leads to Steve and Bucky discovering fan fiction, and after piles of coffeeshop au's and fake dating tropes (and screaming over ABO fics) they find an author that writes some of the best fics they've ever read-- reader inserts starring a dark haired, dark eyed male reader as their shared love interest.

The platonic fics are heartfelt and sweet, the smutty fics have them tearing their clothes off to act out scenes, the soulmate fics have them crying over the true love that so often ends with the Reader passing away and Stucky being left behind.

Then one day, a fic posts with a scene taken right out of their lives, one that happened right there in the Tower, entirely the same right up until they take the Reader to bed.

Bucky is the one to realize the writer is Tony.

Steve is the one to suggest writing fics of their own to show Tony they return his feelings.

Writing fics to show an author you're in love? What could possibly go wrong?

Honorable Mentions:

eagles

branded

imagine you and you (and you) and me

#arei reads fic #stony #stucky #sambucky #irondad #starker #winterhawk #winteriron #MCU RPF #stuckony #ironhusbands #thorki

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mymariahcarey · 5 years ago

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Cuz I Love You

a/n: I wrote this in 30 minutes, it’s not beta’d. If it gets a good response I’m planning to do one in Patrick’s POV.

summary: David, newly obsessed with Lizzo, reflects on some fond memories with his boyfriend while listening to her music.

word count: ~1.3k

rating: T for language

He wasn’t trying to be a cliché. David has always been ahead of the times in terms of fashion, celebrity gossip, taste and trends. However, being stuck now in Schitt’s Creek for several years has unfortunately kept him a little behind on the current music trends.

Needless to say, the first time David Rose heard Lizzo he had two reactions. He loved her powerful lyrics and how she absolutely didn’t care about societal norms. He was also so ashamed to have not caught this trend before it was cool.

He tries not to listen to it, out of sheer protest, but at this point her music is so big it has made its way to even Schitt’s Creek. Patrick, bless him, has been playing it in the store. Alexis too, while she does yoga in now, mostly her bedroom.

He does however have an almost surprising attachment to one of her songs, really all of them, but one in particular.

There is something so familiar about the lyrics.

Never been in love before, what the fuck are fucking feelings for?

As he arbitrarily moves things around on their merchandise tables, he watches Patrick flip through inventory sheets with those stupid fucking rubber thimbles on his fingers and thinks, how true those words once were.

Not once in his life has David felt the way he does about Patrick. Hell, he’s never had a relationship last this long. He’s known Patrick two years and his fondness for his quick witted partner has only grown.

David feels like his first assessment of Patrick was probably more spot on than he first thought. “You’re either very impatient or extremely sure of yourself,” he had said.

That’s exactly how Patrick treats this relationship.. He was impatient to get things rolling, after the failed attempt at keeping things slow. And he is extremely sure of himself. He’s never been slowed down by his inexperience with men, more often than not he’s the one taking charge of their more intimate situations.

Once upon a time I was a hoe, I don’t even wanna hoe no more.

David, though not overly fond of referring to anyone as a hoe, has to again, agree with the goddess herself. His past relationships were anything but monogamous, at least as a whole. Whether he was moving from person to person, or the person he was with was cheating on him. It’s had never been steady, it’s never been safe.

Until Patrick.

Patrick is a safe haven David didn’t even realize he needed. David isn’t sure he’s ever had one before. Maybe his childhood Nanny Adelina. When he and Alexis were children, she was around more often than his parents.

It wasn’t that his parents aren’t great. They have always been accepting of every life choice, venture and experiment, but in their own way. While supportive, it wasn’t like their emotional connections were strong, until the lost everything that is.

Patrick is safe in every way. David doesn’t have to hide behind sarcasm, bravado, and fashion. While all those things are apart of him, he is more tender and sensitive with Patrick.

It’s in the small quiet moments. The sweet kisses on his temple, the way he lets Patrick be the big spoon, even though David is the taller of the two.

Once, while having an unexpected heart to heart with Patrick, a few tears even escaped his eyes, though he was still quick to brush them away.

It’s the way David attempts to do more of the domestic chores around the apartment. He takes the trash out, washes dishes after Patrick cooks them dinner. He may not show anyone else that side of him, but he’s positive he couldn’t hide those things from Patrick is he tries.

Tryna open up a little more, sorry if my heart a little slow.

Slow, for sure, but steady if he did say so himself. He was ready to move in with Patrick, and maybe slightly disappointed that Patrick hadn’t meant the apartment was for the both of them. It’s not like David wasn’t at Patrick’s most nights though.

David has to admit though, things have been a bit strained between them since Patrick moved into his apartment. Not enough that he’s worried things are going to end. It’s more like they’re really getting into more of the, what David assumes, is the normal tension people have in serious relationships.

They bicker a little more, and where before this would have caused David to panic and assume he was screwing it all up, they find a way to work through it. They got through the jealousy of the housewarming party, the extreme competitiveness of the baseball game, and just recently, the meeting of the parents.

He is a little unsure if things are going to progress. They’re still not officially living together and honestly, David’s not sure what the next logical step is. Marriage and living together are probably the steps most people would take next, and those are, surprisingly not as anxiety inducing as David once thought they were.

I thought that I didn’t care, I thought I was love impaired.

David’s mouth takes up it’s signature small crooked smile as he thinks back to his first few interactions with Patrick. Insisting that a guy, gay or not, in straight legged mid-range denim couldn’t be interested in him. That somehow being reaffirmed in his own mind when his ex, Sebastian Raine, came to town. While furthering David’s interest in Patrick, further proved to David that he was far below the other man’s standards.

…Now I’m crazy bout to tat your name.

David chuckles softly about how crazy he is about Patrick and the thought of how wrong he had been about the other man’s feelings.

“What’s so amusing about healing crystals?” Patrick asks, breaking David’s trip down memory lane.

Waving his hands in an awkward gesture and then shrugging David replies, “Maybe I was… getting healed. You did leave a bit of a, how would you put it, disgusting bruise on my lower back this morning.”

Patrick chuckles, a soft blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Speaking of mornings… I was thinking maybe we could close the store tomorrow. I know it’s a bit last minute but it’s been awhile since we’ve been out. I was hoping to take you on a picnic.”

“Well, you know you don’t have to convince me to close the store. You do however have to convince me to eat outside with bugs and dirt,” David answered, his nose scrunching up like it does when someone mentions something unpleasant.

Patrick, coming around the counter and making his way towards his boyfriend smiles. “Alright, how about we leave around 11. Not too early. Maybe I’ll pack some of the fancy cheese,” he finishes, leaning his hip against the counter David has been working at.

“Mmm… I guess maybe that sounds fun,” he breathes, distracted by how close Patrick is now. David leans forward, his lips an inch from Patrick’s, “Make it noon, and you have a deal.”

Closing the distance and kissing his boyfriend softly before retreating, “Then it’s a date,” Patrick says with a big grin.

But baby, I don’t know what I’m gonna do, I’m crying cuz I love you.

This lyric of course, pops in his head after a very stressful and taxing hike his boyfriend made him take that next afternoon. It pops in his head after carrying his boyfriend on his back for the last leg of their journey, after David assures he does indeed want to spend this time with his boyfriend, no matter how much he may hate the activity.

It pops in his head as he looks down at his now fiancé, down on one knee, calling him the love of his life. David is indeed crying. He cried as soon as he realizes what Patrick is doing, as Patrick tells him he’s the love of his life. He sobs as he looks in the long velvet box, revealing four perfect gold rings to replace his silver ones and the love of his life assures him he means it.

“It’s a yes. I love you.”

#otp: simply the best #david x patrick #david rose #patrick brewer #schitt's creek #schitts creek #my stuff

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princessnijireiki · 5 years ago

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she's back to her phone game shitposting… yes, it is me… c'est moi

anyway I'm a few chapters into book 3 of choices' "the royal romance" and… it's weird bc I miss hoeing lol like I may end up replaying it at some point to romance hana instead of [liam], but yk. I'm not expecting a sophisticated game engine to like handle the potential for multiple separate romances or jealousy at any given time, but the way the games try to leave room for "baked in" polyamory as the default + the dialogue they use to communicate that to the player is honestly just really sad imo?

like don't get me wrong, it sucks that in a lot of these games the female LIs are paywalled, but then at least you don't have the "oh shit this person is pining for me… awks" dynamic between two or more dudes that you get in frequently those exact same games. and I like that in trr book 3 if you didn't designate drake as your fiancé, he's happy to be friends! like it sucks that it's locked out at this point, but romance should 100% be opt-in, not "fyi: I'm in love with jessie's girl (you)"

but since romancing [liam] IS baked into the whole trr plot premise for the first two books, if you pursue drake, he's really self-deprecating & sad in book 2, and if you kiss him in the beaumont library in book 1, you have an option to say either, "I like [liam]," "I like you," or (the option I chose bc the character has only known everybody a few weeks to months TOPS at this point) "I like both of you/haven't decided yet"— and drake's whole schtick is "[liam]'s a prince & I can't compete & have nothing to offer wehh," which is wild bc the mc's fully a minimum wage waitress in nyc when they meet her like… Who Cares, we're both the designated poors, but if you choose that last option he goes "it's ok, he's a prince, and I'm… not jealous" or sth like that

but like!! not to sound like I'm against poly ships or whatever but what the hell!! I just meant I'm not locked-in to dating anyone exclusively atm holy shit, why are you automatically making yourself the designated side piece?

and THAT only came up bc [liam] imo is pretty bland during the first book, I was keeping my options open; and then in book 2 [liam] enters a political marriage with a diff character to try to keep the mc safe, but basically offers for the mc to essentially be his goomah & lovely love vs the loveless "official" relationship he was in, which tbh pissed me off enough that I kept romancing drake & hana lmao like in book 1 you gonna talk about having a family with me & now those supposed to be outside kids?! I think the fuck NOT!!

and it does work itself out, and [liam] grows some characterization, but it's SUPER weird to lay all that messy "polyamory" stuff out (there is NO indication other charas know about each other in this regard at ALL), in a way where imo its main appeal was that you were feeling other characters out bc they don't get strong writing outside of locked or romance scenes in the first place, and then take it off the table ENTIRELY once the mc's engaged bc the writers never really meant it re: polyamory lmao + ig didn't feel like navigating 1: what does it look like if the mc's also in a semi-political accelerated-track relationship, or like has a side piece in the palace (as many royals do) or 2: what would it look like to break off an engagement for someone else midstream? not that they're obligated to, those last things are just… a very different story than what was being written, yk.

but the gear-shift from "you can fuck four people in one night… the night of your ENGAGEMENT ANNOUNCEMENT, even though the dynamics of these relationships are WAY less than awesome lol" to "you are now monogamous & no one will speak of any of this ever again" is SO FUCKING WEIRD.

#i just… have a lot of opinions about the writing consistency in games like these #you can have a 100% monogamous game!! we all love mass effect here #so long as you get to see some characterization before you're locked in it's all good!#but it rly just felt like they ran out of ideas on how to deal with this and. hm. some spare followthrough?#which sucks bc the rest of the story is solid for the most part!#but if i were paying money for this yk… i'd feel a real type of way. :/#playchoices #choices trr #trr #trr spoilers //#gaming

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rifki16 · 6 years ago

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Subliminal Duress of Being in a Relationship

So, I came across this video titled “Brittani Louise Taylor - ALL SCENES in Shane Dawson Conspiracy Part 2″. It’s a fan-edit video about the most recent Dawson’s conspiracy video in which Dawson talked about the Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizza and his friend, Taylor, stories.

I watched the aforementioned video fully, without any kind of interruptions. I had my doubts about Dawson’s opinions on social-psychological events, since the “Paul Brothers” documentaries he made. But then I thought to myself, let me give him a chance.

My preconceived notion about the video progressed as I consumed the video. After 6 or 7 minutes into the video, I was fully aware that either Taylor’s ex-fiancée was abusive, the loosely-defined word sociopath, or both. Halfway through, I became fully aware that the problem is way worse than Domestic Abuse problems. After Taylor said about the abnormal behaviours of her ex-fiancée's “mum” of always holding Taylor’s newborn son and how she always calls the newly born son as her own, I just grasped that this is a human trafficking attempt story.

Before I give my opinion, let me be very clear. I’m not in any way trying to put myself above Taylor or see myself detached from the problem which I’m about to say in the analysis section of this post. I’m super glad that Taylor and her son can have a relatively happy life. And they can always count on my wishes to some deity creatures somewhere so that they can always be protected from any kind of harms.

Here’s my take on the underlying issue

My first reaction to the video was, shit, I’ve been taking my time as a single person for granted.

The idea of Tinder or OkCupid or Grindr, you name it, is that you’re increasing your chances of meeting “the one”. I just realized that this goal is a problem.

There is no such urgency for meeting “the one”, or “settling down”. You don’t need to have that relationship to self actualize yourself and enjoy your life. You don’t need a second person to live yourself to the fullest.

Of course, dating apps are not the only ones which must be blamed for our obsession to be in a romantic relationship. As someone who is living around people who hold on to dogmatic beliefs on what god is or what god wants, I understand that this shit is very deep.

Religion has been promoting monogamous, mostly, relationships since its conception, be it making the practice compulsory or how the practice must be done (see Living and Loving “Decent”: Religion and Relationship Quality among Urban Parents). The teachings may have made sense. If children-bearing females live without a financial supporter, the males, in the times when social safety nets created by the state haven’t existed yet, society can’t move forward since their offsprings, their futures will be cut off from reaching adulthood let alone being a capable adult. Then, when the secular institutions involved themselves with religion, visceral punishments are entangled to religious instructions on how a relationship must be. Those involvements made the dogma taught not only in “place of worships” but also through the primary social agents, the parents and family members. With god being the patron saint of anything of what should be “right”, the masses have become convinced more and more that being obsequious towards god is the only way that they can live in a good place. Including god’s instructions on relationships.

Secular sectors are not without guilt. When the Reinassance era came along, this idea of a relationship was romanticized. People tried to draw higher values of un-animalistic and novel ideas which separate us from animals about relationships. Romantic feelings became the base of a relationship. However, rather than identifying it as an abstract concept, they tried to ground the concept to certain qualities which they thought are tangible enough for them to observe and call as “love”. When the Industrial Revolution came along, this concept was seen as a lucrative and profit-making concept. And those capital owners rushed to make piles and piles of cash off of it, through products and subliminal systemic advertisements.

That was when the secular and religious-dogmatic institutions fused. At times when people have moved away from the magicians’ empty promises, they were given alternatives of how to reach that satisfaction of life by secular institutions. Those ideas of “we are nothing without our halves” became embedded in our society regardless of how you choose to live your life. Society affirmed again and again on how it’s irregular, to say the least, of not being in a relationship. And this is an even much worse problem for female people, which I cannot justly put in a combined post here.

The concept of romantic feelings which are seen as the height of human sophistication crystallized to people how unfulfilled they are if they don’t have a romantic partner. And the idea that we only have one chance of living happily with our romantic partner made a sense of urgency for having a romantic partner ASAP. Combined with people who still have religious dogma hanging over their heads, the mob mentality of being with your halves make fresh grounds for people to push to increase the chance of meeting “the one”.

We shouldn’t be living like this. Being an independent person and living your best life shouldn’t be “a last resort option”. Having great friends and healthy social relationships should not be insufficient just because you don’t have a monogamous partner. Heck, even if you have a romantic partner, you should’ve known who you, yourself, really are rather than being sucked into their dicksand (from the film How to be Single). Watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAZhPHH90AE.

And this is when I put the video as a real symptom of where we are as a society. I’d like to argue that we should not be giving leeways for human traffickers to exploit a self-made psychological problem of our society. I’m not in any way saying that Taylor is a desperate person who chronically desired a romantic partner, which her ex-fiancée may have exploited many of such cases. But I’m saying that the urgency to be with someone imminently have become the normal that we’d do anything to increase our chance to meet that person.

Ya know, maybe I should delete my tinder account. And really find me.

P.S.

Of course, these dating apps have done their best to eradicate this human traffickers problem, and I commend them for it. However, that is not the aspect which I criticized

#societal problems #shane dawson #brittani taylor

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derangedroyalfae · 4 years ago

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April 23 Friday 2021

6:38PM

Not really anxious right now, but I’ve had mild anxious moments today, though I just put on my headphones to help me through those, though they’re nothing too extreme, more of jitteriness. I’ve at least been productive and such.

On to what’s on my mind: I think one of the things that sucks the most is that Capybara used to want monogamy with me, but he never told me until he got to a point where that’s no longer what he wants. It feels like a missed opportunity, like, I missed out on being monogamous with him because I didn’t start that way. And it’s no one’s fault, really, except maybe my own to an extent. It’s not like when we first met or even when I first started flirting with him that I knew I’d feel THIS intensely. Don’t get me wrong, I was actually intensely crushing on him when we first met and he was all I really wanted to give my time to even in the beginning, but there were obviously boundaries that I was trying not to pass as we were not only new partners, but new to each other in general.

You know what, I retract a previous statement: it IS my fault without a doubt. I’ve stayed in a relationship with the girls simply for it being safe and comfortable, not actually because I feel sexual or romantic love toward them. And I recognized that long ago, even back when I was ending things with Nurd. I’ve always had them as a safety net, and because they were also polyamorous with each other and other partners, I didn’t feel like my impact on their life was too much and thus I didn’t have to worry about hurting them or being prioritized by them. I’ve done nothing but use them, they’re an escape, especially from my previous household.

And it’s not my relationship with Capybara (not that he’d ever ask) that should prompt me to break things off with them. There’s a part of me that feels like I should wait until at least Kitty has proposed to Hummingbird as she told me she’s wanted to back in November (though she tends to get a lot of things pushed back all the time), or at least until Hummingbird’s confusion starts doing better, but I feel like I’m just pushing it off and pushing it off more and more, looking for excuses that I don’t have to just because I’m a coward. I feel like I need to stick to my guns and decide on a solid date to call things off should my feelings not change. I told Capybara that I wanted to come Summer since that would mean it’s been about a year since I realized I wanted monogamy with him. My anniversary with the girls is in early June, and I wonder if this is something that should be done before or after that. This feels like the dilemma with Nurd all over again, how I had to break up with my fiancé of 3 years right around Valentines.

I feel like slowly yet surely I’ve been giving more and more hints to my desire of a platonic relationship with them - telling them I want an asexual relationship with them was a start. Telling them about my plans to move to the UK to be with Capybara (to be fair, I’ve decided to move to the Uk in general, it’s a matter of moving in with Capybara or not), should it be mutual, was another (not sure if they understood how that’d mean I’d no longer be dating them since I don’t want a long distance relationship ever again). I feel like to an extent, it’s obvious that I’m drifting, given that I don’t think I’ve actually kissed either of them on the lips in over a year, I don’t think I’ve even shared a bed with either of them in about 2 years, I spend any moment I can with Capybara rather than them, I hardly gave them the same LDR treatment I gave Capybara when I was in the UK, etc. And it’s not that I don’t care for them or even love them, because I love them like a family. They’ve always been this safe and welcoming space to me and I feel as though I owe them a lot. A welcoming, calm home and family that I was depraved of for a good majority of my life, one that would let me be me without consequences, without yelling or trying to fight and debate me on every little opinion or statement. And yes, I’m scared of not being able to live here anymore, since once again, I have a good feeling they wouldn’t kick me out simply because I’m an ex, as they were both willing to let their ex (at the time), Lapis, move in with them when she was down on her luck, but it’s more of the guilt and the grief I fear would be too much.

I should break up with them because it’s the right thing, and only pray and hope that it’s turns out for the better (I’m not usually a praying person, but I’ve been praying it bit more often recently). That we all can realize we can still have the bond we currently do, just without a label the likes of “romantic and/or sexual partner.” Because at this point, that’s what my relationship with the both of them feels like, one of family and/or friend, not a girlfriend or romantic partner. They’re my confidants, my safe space, my allies, but I don’t want to call them my lovers, not anymore. I don’t want to be sexual or intimate with them. I want to just be friends. Maybe friends with cuddles and cheek kisses, as I can be quite cuddly with my friends (and Greek part of me likes kissing cheeks in a non-intimate way), but still just friends. This, I feel like I’m sure about, with or without Capybara in my life. And I feel as though the only reason why I haven’t done anything about it before, is just so I don’t feel like I’m alone if any other partner and I break up, and that’s wrong. They deserve better - they deserve the truth.

#mood journal #journal #mood #polyamory #monogamy #nonmonogamy #non monogamy #non monogomous #polyamorous #break up #relationship #relationships

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questionkayla · 6 years ago

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If God is Love, why is this Love wrong?

So, a fun fact about me is that I LOVE dream analyses. I believe they reveal to us the subconscious and unconscious processes of the mind.

A couple days ago I had a really tough interaction, which may have caused me to slightly regress in my mental health for about 28hrs, which is a huge improvement because I used to regress for about 2 continuous months. Cheers to growth.

ANYWAY. In that dream, I was in the midst of about 5 tornadoes that caused me to feel trapped and overwhelmed. I looked for safety and I couldn’t find it anywhere. While I’m searching, my fiancée is with me the entire way and I’m still struggling looking for safety. It was not until the end of the dream, where I finally looked to her and said “I don’t know what to do.” When my eyes met hers, I was filled with peace and she prayed for me. At that moment, we were then shielded from the tornadoes and protected in a brick home, sorta like the ending to the three little pigs story.

Now, I want to analyze my dream because it hits on two big things I need to focus and challenge more:

First. I can only imagine how HARD it has been to be in a relationship with me. I say this because I HAVE BAGGAGE. I have been with my fiancée for almost 10 years now and she has seen me hate myself, hate the world, panic over being stopped by police officers, rage over dealing with the “I don’t see color or privilege, but I’m an ally” racists, hugged me as a cried because I couldn’t stop loving her even though the church suggested I resist or deny, and also find my way back to Christ after giving up on Christianity over and over, in addition to all other secondary traumas in my lifetime. The point is, through all of the “tornadoes,” she remained there with me, praying for me, and encouraging me to love myself and talk to God, and I’ll forever love her for that. Therefore, back to my dream, once I finally stopped to look at her I felt peace. She has been a presence of peace throughout my life, despite the tornadoes. Secondly, she called to God with me. She didn’t take the tornado away alone, she called for the power of God and he protected us together.

So ultimately, my dream is telling me that for one, my fiancée has given and poured patient, kind, non envious, and precious love to me throughout our relationship. Love that has encouraged me to continue to talk to God, in times when I felt like Job. We have a monogamous relationship filled with love that can only be attributed to God.

But on the other hand is it?---which is what many heterosexual Christians may argue. Because I’m often, if not always, told that my love is incorrect or an abomination to God, or that He hates this love. If God is love, how does he also hate it? The church loves to sexualize same-gender love to enhance the sense of promiscuity and “disgustingness” of same-gender relationships. But, take sexual intercourse off the table and my question still stands.

I believe this is one of the toughest tensions for LGBT+ Christians: right vs. wrong love. The question is typically answered in some form of “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve or Eve and Evelyn.” However, that argument is also one of the worst because Adam and Eve’s relationship also portrayed deceit and manipulation, which also catalyzed why we are born into sin today. Or they may give an answer that eludes to sex, which is even more problematic because we’re then sexualizing love, which does not fully represent God’s love and grace. So AGAIN, I find myself often asking, if God is love, and love in his image represents him, how can that love be wrong?

I desire to receive the answer to this question one day, but that may not be until judgment day, and I’m okay with that. But, until then I’ll continue to love unapologetically the way God loved me.

Also, for my queer Christian peeps, as you can see in my dream, don’t ever be so lost in the tornadoes of the world that you forget that there are people around you that genuinely love you and support you and are praying for you to be protected from the tornadoes, while remaining with you through them. Especially the ones that are dealing with the tornadoes as well. You’re never alone.

#GodIsLove IDontHaveTheAnswersSway LoveUnapologetically

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khoicesbyk · 4 years ago

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The Royal Romance.

A/N: I’ve decided to go into my own little TRR world and create an AU. This will be fun! So; Talley Ho! *in my Sherlock Holmes voice*

Rated: Mature. | Contains sexual content and strong language. (You know? The usual from me. 😁) | Bolded and/or italicized words are conversations and thoughts of the characters. | Main Characters: King Marquise Rys (LI) and Queen Shanelle Dawkins (MC) | All Characters and names: (except MC and certain original characters, created by me) are property of Pixelberry.

Current Word Count: 7,720 words. (more or less. I stop counting after editing and re-editing. 🤷🏾‍♀️)

Song And Story Inspiration: Lights Go Out/Make That Sound-J. Holiday | Still In Love With You-New Edition

Missing a chapter or want to read a chapter again? I got you covered! Click ——> Here!

Tag List: @shewillreadyou @choiceslady @bebepac @hopelessromanticmonie @txemrn @lucy-268 @pixie88 @aussieez @secretaryunpaid @shanzay44 @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @glaimtruelovealways @choicesficwriterscreations

Chapter 23.) Deciding Factor.

“Shanelle you have got to be joking!” Marquise said to his fiancée.

“No I’m not kidding. And it’s time for us to stop kidding ourselves.” Shanelle replied.

He just stared at her. The suggestion was unfathomable to him.

“Do you have any idea what the repercussions will be for us? For the monarchy?” He asks her.

“Yes I do. Which is why we should do this. Think about it, Marquise! It’s the best of both worlds!” She replied.

“I can not believe that you are suggesting this.”

“I’m suggesting this because I know you’re still in love with Tanya.”

“But…I…I…”

“Listen to me I’m not angry. I want you to know that. I don’t want us to have any regrets. And I feel like a traditional monogamous marriage will leave us with regrets.”

He was in shock and yet he was intrigued at the same time.

“You’re not saying that you don’t love me are you?” He asks.

He was stuck. He knew he couldn’t lie to Shanelle. He does still love Tanya. Madly. Deeply. And he was tired of hiding it from her.

“I know.”

“I just…I never got over her. And constantly being around her…it…”

“Brought back feelings that you weren't willing to admit to?” She asked.

He nodded his head.

“Yeah I know.”

“Let me guess…troll?” He asks.

“Would you hate me if I said yes?” She replies.

“So if I wanted to explore with Damon…you won’t throw me in chains?” She asked.

“Never. I trust you, my love. And I also know that you trust me.” He replied as he kissed the palm of her left hand.

He shook his head and smiled at her.

“How do you do that?” He asks.

“Do what?” She replies.

“Make me fall more and more in love with you by the second.”

“Easy. There is no other woman like me.”

“True enough. So how do we get them to understand that this is what we want?” He asks.

“You handle her. I’ll handle him.” She replies.

“And how do we do that?” He asks.

“Don’t you have that conference in the French Alps to go to next weekend?” She replied.

“Yeah. What about it?” He asks.

“Well while the king is away. The future queen will play.” She replies.

“And you want me to take Tanya with me?” He asks.

“Yup. Seeing as how the monarchy has a soon to be new communications director…” she replies with a wink.

He grinned at her.

“Works for me. Now let’s eat! Preferably before our food gets cold and I get grumpy.”

“Ohhh no! Let’s not have that.”

That following Thursday, Marquise was ready to go to the conference. And although he would miss his queen terribly, he was eager to get Tanya alone finally.

“I’m gonna miss you!” Shanelle said to him.

“Tu vas me manquer aussi mon amour. I promise to make it up to you.”

“You’d better!” She teased.

“Is that a challenge my queen?” He asked.

“Depends if you choose to accept it, my handsome king.” She replies.

He grinned at her.

“If this conference wasn’t honoring my father, I wouldn’t be going.”

“Think of it as a mini vacation for us both.”

“True enough. What will you do while I’m away?” He asks.

“Wedding planning. Because vote or no vote we are getting married!” She replied emphatically.

“Ohhh really? What have you planned so far?” He asked.

“So far I have the color scheme set. Or at least it’s set in my head.” She replied.

“What are our wedding colors?” He asks.

“Purple, white and silver.” She replied.

“Purple was my mother’s favorite color.”

“It’s mine too. That’s why I picked it.”

“I know my love. I can’t wait to see what you have planned. So when I get back, we are going dress shopping.”

“You can’t see the bride in her dress before the wedding!”

“King!” He says as he points to his face.

She shook her head and smirked. Just as an attendant came walking up to them.

“My apologies, your majesty but your security detail is ready.”

“Thank you.”

With a curt nod the attendant walked away.

“Time to go. I’ll miss you my queen.”

“I’ll miss you too! Let me know when you get there. Have fun!”

“Will do!”

With a goodbye kiss, Marquise was on his way to the French Alps. Meanwhile Shanelle left for her private estate in Volterias. After a quick 2 ½ hour flight to Lyon and subsequent car ride Marquise, Tanya and his security detail pulled up to Chalet where the conference is located. Prime ministers, premiers, other high government officials and foreign dignitaries walked around and mingled amongst each other.

After the introductory luncheon Tanya and Marquise were in the lobby with the rest of the guests. While she was running through his schedule for the weekend, he was bored. Tanya took notice and pulled him to the side.

“Something wrong?” Tanya whispered.

“Ugh! I’m bored. ” Marquise replies.

“They are putting us up in this swanky chalet, while honoring your father, Marquise!”

“So? They could honor him without me having to be here. I feel like I’m suffocating!”

“You’re such a big baby!”

“I want my rattle!”

Tanya shook her head.

“Okay fine! Let’s go find your room!”

“Finally!”

They went to his room which was connected to hers.

“Now this is luxury!” She exclaimed after touring both of their rooms.

“Perks of being connected to the King.”

“Show off!”

He stuck his tongue out at her.

“Marquise Constantine Rys! You did not just stick your tongue out at me!”

He shrugged.

“You are so childish!”

“Not my fault that you bring it out of me.”

“Uh huh. The only time you were ever this childish is when you had something to say to me. So what is it?” She asks.

Marquise took a deep breath then spoke.

“You’re right. I do have something to say to you. So come sit down with me.”

They sat down next to each other in front of the roaring fire.

Still in love.

Still in love baby. Listen. Oh, what can I do, girl? So much in love, girl. But your friends got you thinking and it's affecting you. What can I do, girl? So in love, girl. And I don't know what to do 'cause I don't want to lose you. No, what would I do without your love? Baby it's heaven sent from above. So you don't believe what your friends tell you about me.

“What is it Marquise?” She asks.

“I don’t know how to tell you this.”

“Tell me what?”

“I don’t know how to tell you that…I…Tanya I…I love you. Hell I’m still in love with you.”

She sat across from him stunned into silence.

“Say something Tanya.”

“You are insane! Why the hell would say something like that? Especially when you’re engaged!”

“Because it’s true Tanya.”

“It can’t be. Not now. Not after all this time. You can’t be.”

“I am. I didn’t think it would happen. But the moment I saw you…everything that I thought I’d forgotten…”

Tanya shook her head while chuckling.

“If this is your idea of a joke…let me just say that it's incredibly cruel.”

“It’s not a joke, Tanya.”

“Okay. Let’s say that it’s not a joke…have you forgotten that quickly that YOU ARE ENGAGED?! If she were to ever find out that you have feelings for me your ex—“ she started to say before he cut her off.

“She already knows Tanya.”

For the second time she was stunned.

“Why are you doing this to me? Why are you being so cruel? How could you do this to me after all these years?” She asked with tears in her eyes.

“Listen to me. She figured it out on her own. Because the way I feel about you…is the same way that she feels about Damon. So we decided to not enter into marriage with any regrets.” He replies.

“What the hell does that mean?” She asked.

“Shanelle and I have both decided to have an open, poly marriage.” He replies.

I'm still the man for you. And I'm still the man that's true. And I'm still the man who's lucky. And I'm still in love with you. It don't matter what your friends do. They're just jealous of me and you. And I'll always keep you happy, 'cause I'm still in love with you. Oh, yeah. I'm still in love.

Yeah, ooh. Time passes so fast, babe. I wish it would last, babe. 'Cause I know in my heart that my life ends and starts with you, babe. And baby, I know that this feelin’ I'm feelin' just won't let me go away. 'Cause you're the first true love I've ever known. So what would I do without your love? Baby, it's heaven sent from above. And I know that in my heart I'm the best for you.

“An open, poly marriage? And this was just some random thought you two had?” She asks.

“No. This was her idea. And initially when she told me, I thought she was crazy. But Tanya I can’t deny how I feel about you anymore. I miss you. I love you. I need you. I was an idiot all those years ago. I was selfish, self centered and self absorbed. I didn’t fight for you or us like I should’ve. I took the cowards way out when I ended things. And for that I am so sorry. I will never stop apologizing to you for that. I am begging you to come back to me. I will do anything to have you again.” He explained.

Oh, what can I do to right this wrong? I know that it makes me happy to be in love with you.

So... I'm still the man for you. And I'm still the man that's true. And I'm still the man who's lucky. And I'm still in love with you. It don't matter what your friends do. They're just jealous of me and you. And I'll always keep you happy, 'cause I'm still in love with you.

Tanya sat silent. She didn’t know what to say or do with the bomb that just got dropped on her.

“I don’t…I…I…I don’t know…” she tried to say but the words just failed her.

She watched him stand up and extend his hand to her.

“Come here.”

She looked up at him then put her trembling hand in his. She rose to her feet and was instantly wrapped in his arms. As if on command, the dam of emotions that she felt in that moment broke and she burst into tears.

He held her as her body quaked as she cried.

“Look at me Tanya.”

She could barely see him through her tears.

“I know this is a lot for you.”

Tanya took a deep breath before she spoke.

“You have no idea how long I have waited to hear you say that. No idea at all. When you left I didn’t know what to do. I needed you. I loved you. I hated you. I wanted you. But Marquise…you were gone. You left me. You never looked back. I mean I’m thankful that you left me the brownstone without a mortgage so selling it was easy. But it didn’t erase the pain.”

She said as her eyes welled up with tears again.

“It didn’t take away the anger, hurt or heartache that I felt. And here I am in a place where I finally moved on. Not only that I’m in a place where I could look at you and it not break my heart or make it skip a beat. So to hear this now after all these goddamn years…knowing that you are engaged to another woman…a woman that I work for…I don’t…I can’t.”

He held her close as she buried her face in his shoulder and cried again. They stayed that way for several minutes until she could no longer breathe. He rubbed her back as she trembled in his arms. She didn’t want him to let her go.

“Talk to me. Say something Tanya.”

“What am I supposed to say?” She asks.

“Say anything.” He replies.

“Say anything or say yes?” She asked.

He went quiet.

“That’s what I thought. I want you to know that I love you. That I am still madly in love with you. But this? A poly relationship? I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know that I can share you, Marquise.”

“Tanya…”

“Let me finish! I want you. God knows I do. But I can’t bring myself to share you with another woman.”

“I swear to you that’s not what this is.”

“Then what is this? Why am I here? And don’t you dare lie to me.” She said to him.

“You’re here because I want you here. I wanted the chance for it to just be me and you.”

“You mean you want the chance to convince me to be your mistress.”

“Mistress? Hardly.”

“You know it’s true. Because as much as you love me, you love her just as much. If not more than you would or could ever love me.”

“Tanya…”

She finally stepped back from him.

“Marquise you know as well as I do that if it came down to it, you’d choose her over me. And I don’t know that I’d be able to stand it.”

She took a shaky breath.

“I love you. I love you more than any other man I have ever loved. But when it comes to you, I refuse to be second to any woman.”

“Love, you would never be second. You know this. I would never make you compete with anyone.”

“And yet that’s exactly what you’re asking me to do. You’re asking me to compete with Shanelle over you and your heart. I-I-I’m not a secret. I don’t deserve that.”

She turned her head because she couldn’t look at him anymore. No matter how badly her heart wanted her to.

“You’re right. You’re not a secret. And you’re not someone that deserves to be one. And you wouldn’t be.”

“So you’re saying that you’re willing to go public with whatever this is or would be?” She asks.

“Yes.” He replies.

“What about Shanelle?” She asks.

“This was her idea. And as much as I wanted to say no, I couldn’t.” He replied.

“Why? Why didn’t you say no?” She asked.

He went quiet in order to choose his words carefully.

“Because I thought that I could hide or even mask how I feel about you. I thought I could quiet that voice in my head that kept repeating your name. And that kiss, as much as I tried and wanted to forget about it I couldn’t. Because I couldn’t forget you. Sure, I kept my distance from you. But honestly not being around you is the same pain I feel when I’m not around her. You were a staple in my life and my heart for years. As selfish as this is to say, I want that back. I want you back. I want you to myself.”

“You’re right Marquise. It is selfish. You are selfish! Incredibly selfish! And I never in my life thought I’d ever say that about you of all people! And you want to know what else?!”

“What?” He asks.

She answered his question by planting him with a searing kiss. The kiss they shared was deep, intense, hot and ravenous. When their kiss ended she had a grin on her face.

“Maybe selfishness is what I need.”

“Damn…”

“Exactly.”

“So was that a yes?” He asks.

“No it wasn’t.” She replied.

“Then what was that?” He asked.

“Besides selfish and impulsive? That was your invitation to convince me that being in a poly relationship with you is worth it. Because right now I don’t necessarily feel that it’s worth it to me.” She replies.

“How long do I have?” He asked.

“Until Sunday.” She replies.

“No time like the present to start.”

“Oh really? And what do you have in mind, your majesty?” She asks.

“You…me…right now!” He replies with a searing kiss of his own.

He backed her up against the wall next to the fireplace.

“You know you’re an asshole right?” She asks breathlessly.

“I’m a King, love. Asshole is in the job description.”

She grinned at him before crashing her lips into his. She felt his passion, his hunger and especially his lust for her in that moment. He went from kissing her to sucking on her pulse line.

“Yesssssssssss…” She moaned softly.

He stopped long enough to look into her eyes.

“God I’ve missed making you do that.”

“You shoulda thought of this sooner.”

“True. Well now that we’re here, allow me to make up for lost time.”

He kissed her again before pulling her down towards the giant rug in front of the fireplace.

“I would take you to bed but this rug is soft and I’m feeling impatient.”

“I am yours, your majesty.”

“Damn right you’re mine. Now, let's get you out of this dress.”

His mouth found hers as they quickly undressed each other. He kissed his way from her lips, down her neck and across her collarbone. He placed heated kisses down and across her breasts. He listened to her chest rise and fall with each breath that she took.

“I’ve missed you.”

“Less talk! More action!”

“As you wish.”

He went back to kissing down to her lower body. He rolled over onto his back with her sitting on his face.

“Marquise!”

“Try not to scream so loud. Ohhh and you might want to hang on.”

When he descended onto her clit she nearly jumped out of her skin. All she could feel was his mouth.

“Fuck yes! Yes! Yes! Yesssssssssssss! Oh My God! This feels so good!” She screamed as she leaned back on her knees as she rode his tongue.

Her body was on fire. His mouth felt like heaven. Every time he made a sound it would send shockwaves shooting through her. Her clit throbbed harder and harder every time she felt his tongue slide over it.

“Mmmmmmm…” he hummed as he feasted on her.

“Ohhhhhhhh Shit! Marquise! Don’t stop! Don’t stop! God! I’m so close!” She shouted.

Tanya was about to break and he knew it. With his arms tightened around her thighs; he went for it. He drove his tongue inside her hot core and didn’t stop until he heard her scream.

“YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! GOD YES!! DON’T FUCKING STOP!” she screamed.

Her thighs twitched and her body shuddered as her orgasm shredded everything in its path. When he let her go he could still taste her on his lips.

“So fucking good!” He said as he licked his fingers and winked at her.

“God you don’t play fair!” She said while trying to catch her breath.

“You forget kings don’t play fair.”

She rolled her eyes at him.

“I wanna taste.”

“Who said you get a taste?” He asks.

“I do! Now gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” She replied as she sank to her knees and he stood up.

He grinned at her as he circled her lips. When her mouth opened to him he damn near lost it.

“HOLY SHIT!” He moans.

Her mouth was warm, wet and inviting. He tangled his hands in her hair but let her set her pace. She swirled her tongue around and around his dick in a slow torture.

“You’re gonna be the death of me!” He hissed.

His breathing went shallow as her mouth went back and forth from head to base again and again. Marquise broke out in a sweat as he tried to restrain his orgasm. But it was quickly becoming a battle he was losing.

“God you feel so good!” He groaned. As she upped her tempo his hips began to move. He was getting desperate.

He wanted to be inside her in the worst way possible.

“Fuck! Come here.” He strained out.

He needed to feel her. He wanted to feel her vaginal muscles clench and release. When he brought her to her feet he plunged his tongue into her mouth. With his lips still on hers he laid her down on the rug with him positioned between her legs.

With a condom on, he inhaled sharply as he circled her entrance.

“You ready?” He asked.

When she nodded her head he thrust his hips forward plunging himself inside her.

“Yesssssssssssss!!” He moaned.

As he threw her legs over his shoulders, she grabbed the rug underneath her.

“Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yesssssssssssss! You feel so good!” She moaned.

“That’s it love! Tell me what you want! Tell me how good it feels! Tell me how you like it! I want to hear you baby!” He moaned.

He was doing it to her. Just like she always knew him to do. He was using his words to ignite both her fire and desire.

“Marquise! Give it to me! Fuck me! I need you! I need this!” She shouted.

“Yeah! That’s it baby! Take it! Take this dick!”.

When she looked in his eyes he had this raw carnality in them. Every thrust was more powerful than the last. The grip he had on her thighs tightened. She begged him to give it to her and he was more than happy to oblige.

She was getting dangerously close to her climax and he wasn’t too far off from his own.

“I-I’m about to cum! I—!” She struggled to say.

“That’s it cum on this dick! Let it out! Let it all out! Cum for me!”

He was barely hanging on himself. One final thrust of his hips was all it took to throw her over her edge. Her eyes rolled back and her body shuddered as her orgasm ran through her.

“Yes! Cum on this dick! Cum for me!” He encouraged her. One last roll of his hips was all it took; to take him out.

“Shit!” He hissed as he lost himself with her.

When it was all said and done; they were both breathless, tired and satisfied.

“Well that was fun!” He piped up.

She just shook her head and chuckled.

“You have no idea what you mean to me, do you?” He asked.

“After what just happened I have a pretty good idea. Although it never hurts to compare notes.” She replied.

He just snickered.

“Is it wrong that I just want to stay here like this.” She asks.

“No. Because I owe this to you.” He replied.

“I’m not a debt Marquise. You don’t owe me anything.”

“But I do. I owe you my heart and my love. And I promise to give you that. I promise to give you all that I should’ve given you all those years ago.

She shook her head at him and snuggled closer to him.

“Well this weekend might not be so bad after all. I have you and all weekend to convince you to stay with me.”

“I'd say that you’re off to a really good start. But it’ll take more than just fucking my brains out to convince me.”

“What else would it take?” He asks.

“Well the palace is going to need a new head of Royal Communications. And that job has my name on it.” She replied with a shrug.

“I mean I guess I could put in a good word for you.”

“Ugh! You make me sick!”

He snickered.

“I hope I wasn’t too loud. I’d hate for your reputation to be ruined because of me.”

He scoffed.

“Ohhh please! Considering that ¾ of the attendees didn’t bring their spouses with them anyway, I wish one of those idiots actually would say something about you being here with me.”

“You’re joking right?” She asks.

“Nope. Take Prime Minister Vannaugh of Gemmora for example. The lady with him has been one of his 7 mistresses for 5 years now. And I’ve only been a king for 3 of those years.” He replied.

“Well shit!”

“My thoughts exactly. One of the reasons why my father loved coming to this conference is because he could use him being here as leverage if he needed to.”

“That's a good strategy.”

“Blackmail always has a place in a monarchy.”

She chuckled at him.

“You know I love you right?” He asked.

“I know. I love you too.” She replied.

“Good. Don’t ever forget it.”

“I won’t.”

Tanya sighed.

“I don’t want to leave. I just want to stay like this. But we have to attend the dinner tonight.”

“If by attend the dinner tonight you mean have room service delivered. Then yeah, we do.”

“Marquise!”

“What? I’m not leaving this room and neither are you! Not until the conference officially gets under way tomorrow.”

“Works for me! Now if you don’t mind. I want to enjoy this fire with you.”

“I most certainly don’t mind.”

He held her close as they both laid in front of the fire and eventually dozed off.

The next morning Tanya found herself waking up in his bed without him there. So she threw on one of his shirts and checked to see if he was in the bathroom but he wasn't there either. Just as she started to wonder what time he had left there was a knock at the door. It was room service. Marquise had it sent to her complete with a rose and handwritten note. She giggled as she read the note.

"Good Morning Beautiful. Sorry I'm not there to wake you up. I had to be at the first part of the conference. Duty calls. So this is my way of saying thank you for last night. I'll see you later. This weekend is just getting started. XOXO"

It was short, sweet and made the butterflies in her stomach flutter about. She loved that about him.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Meanwhile in Volterias, Shanelle had Damon right where she wanted him. Or she will anyway.

Shanelle kept herself busy that Friday by spending time in duchy Volterias. She visited the local food bank, the children’s museum, the orphanage and she even had time to consult with a few local dressmakers and wedding planners.

That night after a good long bubble bath, she stood out on her balcony in her robe overlooking the fields and waterfall with a glass of wine in her hand. It was one the most beautiful sights she’d ever seen.

Listening to the waterfall thunder relaxed her. It also distracted her because she didn’t hear Damon walk up behind her.

“So Prince Charming gave you all of this?” He asked her.

She could hear the clear jealousy in his voice.

“Awwwwww are you mad?” She replies over her shoulder.

He rolled his eyes.

“Not in the least.”

“Uh huh. Security sweep done?” She asks.

“Yes. The estate and surrounding lands are secure.” He replies.

“Good. At least now I know you actually do know how to do your job.”

Damon groaned.

“You’re gonna be like this the entire weekend aren’t you?” He asked.

When she finally turned around to face him that’s when she knew she had him.

“If you don’t like it then do something about it.” She replies.

“Are you crazy? Need I remind you that you’re engaged to a king that could have me locked up or killed?” He asks.

“That’s funny. You didn’t seem to care about that when you two got into it. And you damn sure haven’t cared since you’ve been pursuing me for weeks now.” She replies.

“Okay first off, he swung on me! And second, you don’t have to be so goddamn obnoxious about it!” He snapped at her.

“Awwwww poor baby. He’s jealous.”

“Thank God I’m off next week! That way I don’t have to deal with you!”

“Why? So you can continue whatever meetings you’ve been having with Duchess Kaitlyn?” She asks.

Damon went pale.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” He replied trying to hide the nervousness behind his tone.

“Ohhh please! You’ve been meeting with her for weeks.”

“Again I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Marquise didn’t add those three agents to my detail just to find Tariq. They were added to watch you. That’s how I know you’ve been meeting with her. And my question now is why?”

Damon swallowed hard.

“So you aren’t going to deny it?” She asks.

“No, I'm not. I have been meeting with her. We both want the same thing. We want you out. Because you don’t belong here. You belong with me. In my arms and in my bed.” He replies.

She took a sip of her wine.

“You’re gonna tell your fiancé aren’t you?” He asked.

“No. You are. You’re going to tell him everything when he gets back.” She replies.

“Nelle you can’t be serious! He’ll have my head!”

“I know. But you’ve earned it.”

“So what happens now?” He asks.

“Nice to see you taking this like a champ.” She replies.

“It’s not like I have a choice not to.”

“In the meantime you have one job.”

“What?” He asks.

She finished her wine before walking over and pushing him up against the doorframe and kissing him. He was shocked and turned on at the same time. He broke their kiss so he could breathe.

“What the entire hell?” He asks.

“You can stop being so shocked. This is what you wanted.” She asks.

“If he finds out—“

“He already knows. Next question.”

“What do you mean he knows?” He asks.

“He knows that I’m about to turn you into a whore.” She replies.

“I don’t understand.”

“He and I have decided to have an open poly marriage. Which is why he’s with Tanya right now and you’re about to be with me. Or you will be once you get naked.”

“He’s with her?! I mean I knew they had the hots for each other but I didn’t expect that.”

We’ve flirted. I've heard it all before you want to show me now. I’ve sat in waited filled my head with doubt. I didn’t think you would come around and see it my way. But you build up all the courage now. Tonight you're the water and I'm riding your waves today.

“Blah! Blah! Blah! Get naked!”

He shook his head at her.

“I shoulda known. You always acted like that whenever you wanted to fuck.”

“As my charge commands.”

“Good boy! I knew you wouldn’t resist.”

He smirked before kissing her again. He couldn’t wait to have her again. And he didn’t care how that looked. He picked her up, wrapped her legs around his waist and carried her back into the bedroom.

“I…have…been…dying…to…fuck…you!” He said in between kisses.

“You talk too much!”

“You love me for it though.”

It didn’t take them long to get each other naked. He took a moment to admire her naked body.

I never told you that the way you be talking to me lights my whole world. But now it's class time, girl if you dont mind let's show and tell. I got in good with your best friend. (I got in good with your best friend) So that you never forget me. And all that trash we be talking to her its entertaining.

“Like what you see?” She asked with a wink.

“Of course. You’ve always been beautiful.” He whispered.

“Too bad it took you losing me to realize it.”

“Well let me start apologizing.”

He went from kissing her to going straight to the treasure between her thighs. He had to taste her again. It had been years since he had her like this.

So he went straight for her center and buried his face in it. He licked, sucked, nibbled and kissed her sweet snatch all the while rubbing his face in it, making sure he was coated with her juices.

She moaned loudly as he ate her out. Once her thighs started to close around his neck he knew she was going to break. So he grabbed her thighs and plunged his tongue inside her. He felt her body shake as she screamed again and flooded his face with her nectar. He looked at her smiling as she caught her breath. He was happy because he knew he still got it.

So shawty wait until the light go out. There's no more talking and no more teasing, nothing but pleasing. Wait until the lights go out, let’s lose the power for about an hour. Oooooh Shawty wait intill the light go out… Oooooh Shawty wait intill the light go out…

If you ready, hold it steady girl lets get into it. Turn off the mood if the blinds but some shade to it. Put your body in postion for submission. Straight shoveling while I'm digging no need for an electrician. Oooh when the lights…

“Sweet as sugar.” He said as he licked his fingers.

She giggled and rolled her eyes.

“Don’t get cocky. You still haven’t proven anything.”

“Don’t believe me just watch!”

“Have I mentioned that you talk too much?” She asked.

Rather than answer her, he grabbed her, flipped her onto her stomach then mounted her. He was ready to take her right then and there.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s go!” She dared him.

It was on then.

He closed his eyes then drove himself straight into her and began fucking her senseless. He wanted her to know and feel how he missed her. He pounded that sweet treasure for what he felt was an eternity. The sounds their bodies made as he crashed into her again and again coupled with her feminine scent made him dizzy.

“Don’t you dare slow down! Give it to me!” She shouted.

He intensified his rhythm just for her.

“That’s my girl! Tell me you want this dick!” He growled.

He loves hearing her scream bloody murder as he took her. She was close to her climax and he knew it because he was as well. That's when she screamed at the very top of her lungs and unloaded onto him. She felt so damn good to him.

So shawty wait until the light go out there’s no more talking and no more teasing nothing but pleasing. Wait until the lights go out lets lose the for about an hour. Oooooh Shawty wait until the light go out… Oooooh Shawty wait until the light go out…

He stayed still for a moment before pulling out of her. He marveled at the sight before him. They were both exhausted and satisfied. He curled up with her in his arms. Just the way he always wanted.

“So how pissed will Prince Charming be when I tell him about me meeting with the Duchess?” He asks.

“Pretty pissed. Because you did commit crimes against the crown. But I might be able to calm him down, if you make it worth my while that is.” She replied.

“You know this is blackmail right?” He whispered.

“Even if you want it?” She replies.

He grumbled.

“Uh huh. I thought so.”

“How did we get here?” He asks.

“You know how we got here. You know why we are here. Look I get it. You’re sorry…I think. And I am too. We didn’t try hard enough to keep what we had.” She replied.

Damon sighed.

“To be honest none of this was your fault. Yeah sure you had your flaws but all of this was my fault. I shouldn’t have ran to her. And I did and I ruined us. I hurt you. And hell her and I didn’t even stay together.”

“Not even for DJ?” She asks.

“Nope. We found that after he was born, we weren’t as compatible as we thought. So she left, took him with her and found someone new. Like you did.” He replies.

“Do you miss her?” She asks.

“No. Not like I’ve missed you.” He replies.

“Have you tried contacting her?” She asked.

“Not lately. Lately I’ve been running behind you.” He replies.

“You should. You should go see him. Do you know where they are?” She asks.

“Yup. They live in Arlington. They moved in with her new beau last year.” He replies.

“And you’re not jealous?” She teased.

He pinched her arm.

“Owwww! Jackass!” She sneered.

He kissed the spot he pinched.

“Better?” He asks.

“Maybe.” She replied.

He shook his head and held her close.

“So where do we go from here?” He asks.

“We stay here the rest of the weekend.” She replies.

“Smartest thing you’ve ever said!”

She groaned as she snuggled in his arms.

One week later it was time for the parliamentary vote to be cast. Marquise and Shanelle arrived at the Royal Archives and awaited the vote. Being superstitious and hopeful at the same time, she suggested that they wear matching outfits. But doing so did little to calm her nerves. Shanelle was a nervous wreck. She was worried that Marquise would lose everything. And he could feel it.

“What’s wrong my queen?” He asked her.

“I’m scared. I know I shouldn’t be but I am.” She replied.

He placed a featherlight kiss on her forehead.

“Don’t be My Goddess. This is a fairly simple process. Whoever wins must have a majority vote of each of the Great Houses. With the exception of Houses Beaumont and Fierro. Since they are represented by you and Duchess Kaitlyn those houses are ineligible to vote. As it could be seen as favoritism.” He replies.

“So maybe they’ll see our matching outfits and vote yes instantly.”

“That’s the spirit my love. Shall we?” He asks.

“Let’s!” She replies.

He took her hand as they walked into the main hall of the Archives. They were greeted by the Keeper of The Archives.

“Hello your majesty, your grace! Welcome to the Archives.” He said as he greeted them.

“Thank you Viscount Langdon. It’s great to be here. I just wish we were here under different circumstances.” Marquise replies.

“Of course your majesty, I understand. If you’ll both please follow me.” He said as he led them into the waiting area.

It was an opulent room decorated in early 19th century decor.

“Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful!”

“Thank you My Queen. My grandfather had it remodeled the year my father married Leo’s mother.”

They sat down together and were soon joined by Duchess Kaitlyn and Tariq.

“Look who’s here my dear the soon to be former king and his soon to never be queen.” The duchess sneered.

“I can’t kill them can I?” Shanelle asks Marquise.

“Unfortunately no.” He replies. His tone was tight.

“Charming as ever I see.” Tariq quipped.

“As king I do have an image to protect.”

“You won’t be king for king Marquise!” Kaitlyn snapped at him.

“Temper temper Duchess! Not very becoming of a queen.”

“I’d love to reach across this coffee table and slap that smirk off your—“ Duchess Kaitlyn started to say before he cut her off.

“Don’t you two forget that until the very last second that the final vote is cast I am STILL king and I can STILL charge you both with treason!” He hissed.

His threat was enough to cause Tariq and the Duchess to back off for now. It also excited Shanelle to see her man angry.

“Long live my king!” Shanelle quipped in a singsong voice.

Tariq huffed.

“Fine. So my future queen and I can’t touch you Marquise but that doesn’t mean we won’t make you pay for all you’ve done to us once we become the new monarchy!” Tariq growled.

Marquise wasn’t impressed.

“Do I look scared? Do I sound scared? You were a wuss as a kid and you’d be a wuss of a king, if you are to become one. And thankfully you won’t ever be one.”

They were soon joined by Viscount Langdon.

“Good afternoon everyone! I’m happy you’re all here. Now the vote can officially begin. Now although his majesty King Marquise knows the rules, allow me to explain the process. Each of the Great Houses will vote on who they feel is fit to be king and queen of Cordonia. With Duchess Shanelle Dawkins representing House Beaumont and Duchess Kaitlyn Winslow representing House Fierro, they will not participate in the vote. His majesty and Mr. SaVion were asked to supply a budget plan for the country as well and that will be considered in the vote as well. The vote took hours. So may the odds be ever in your favor everyone!” Viscount Langdon explained.

He nodded then left for the vote to begin.

“Well here we go.” Duchess Kaitlyn quipped.

“Indeed. Good luck to you both. I look forward to seeing you both lose.” Marquise said to them both.

The waiting drove Shanelle crazy. Marquise rubbed his left thumb over her right knuckles.

“Don’t worry my beautiful queen. We have nothing to fear.” He whispered softly in her ear.

“I know. Thank you for easing the worry.”

After 2 hours they were joined by Viscount Langdon again.

“Thank you everyone. The vote is now complete.” He said to the group.

“Well? What are the results?” Duchess Kaitlyn asked.

“Thank you for your enthusiasm Duchess. As you all know each house was asked to vote as per the Legitima successione nobilium. They were asked to also consider each budget plan as well. And they have voted. Now before I reveal the results a few comments must be addressed. Starting with you your majesty.” Viscount Langdon explained.

He turned to Marquise and Shanelle as he spoke.

“Many of the heads felt your recent decisions regarding Duchess Kaitlyn and Mr. SaVion were vicious, vindictive, petty, tyrannical, spiteful and petty. Completely unbecoming of the title and role of King. Even if they were legal, many felt they were not right nor just.”

“As they should!” Tariq sneered.

“Furthermore they also understood the stress and pressure that you are under as the reigning monarch. And they understand that you may have been pushed too far.”

He then turned to Kaitlyn and Tariq.

“As for you Duchess and you as well Mr. SaVion. Many felt that you took advantage of the country’s grief when you both announced your challenge for the crown. Many felt it was insensitive, cruel and completely opportunistic of you both. They questioned whether or not you had the heart and fortitude to lead Cordonia and her people.”

Shanelle snickered.

“Now that the comments have been made, the results can now be told. After the votes were cast and the budgets read over and considered…”

Marquise took a deep breath and squeezed Shanelle’s hand as Viscount Langdon turned to him and his future bride.

“Your majesty, your reign…shall continue. The vote is in your favor. You have won the challenge. Congratulations my king.”

Shanelle was overjoyed at the news.

“Oh My God! YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT!” She squealed as she hugged him.

“Correction My Queen, WE did it.”

Tariq and Kaitlyn were livid.

“This is unbelievable! How could they choose him?! He’s a glorified tyrant! Just like his father was!” Kaitlyn yelled.

“Allow me to explain the decision. Although many disagree with his most recent decisions regarding you and your fiancé Duchess, it wasn’t enough to cast doubt in his majesty’s abilities to rule as King Of Cordonia.” Viscount explained.

“Surely this is a mistake!” Tariq quipped.

“I assure you that it is not. The votes were properly cast, counted, verified and finalized. They can not be challenged or changed.”

“Which means in other words: Bow down to your King!” Marquise sneered as he stood up.

Both were stunned that they lost to him and Shanelle.

“As for you, you beautiful creature.” Marquise said as he helped Shanelle to her feet.

“Yes my king?” She asked.

“We have a wedding to plan my love!” He replies.

“Way ahead of ya!”

“Now that is the queen I know!”

She smiled because soon he will officially be her king and husband. Without anyone or anything standing in their way.

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