#he is a fun and benevolent god when he remembers us

[frances-baby-houseman]

here's something: if a teenager shows up at my house, I give them MORE candy. First of all, 6yos don't need that much candy. Second, they have those teen metabolisms, they NEED the sugar. Third, you're a teenager and you're still dressing up and knocking on doors! I love you!! hold onto 16 as long as you can!!

Also if a kid looks shy or doesn't make eye contact or whatever, you know what I do? I give em fucking candy!! If the dad says trick or treat instead of the kid, I give em BOTH candy!! who cares!!!

[dark-frosted-heart]

Choose Your True Love - Azel Radwan (part 2/4)

This is the from the 4th anniversary event

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. 

Azel (polite): We have 1, 2…3, 4 risk-takers here…Tonight will be a fun night, won’t it?

(Prince Azel?!)

Standing before the large moon, he was cloaked in a holy aura far different from the usual malicious god.

His mysterious presence nearly brought me, an acquaintance, to my knees. The domineering men prostrated in the sand, showing respect.

Ruffian: Living God, we were only going to escort this lost woman back to the city—

Azel (polite): Are you sure? You are making such false confessions so shamelessly. The details of what happened to people who had incurred God’s wrath and received divine punishment have been passed down as legends. However, I am a benevolent god, so I will overlook this one mistake. So—what were you trying to tell me?

Ruffian: ……Our apologies.

Azel (polite): I believe you are apologizing to the wrong person.

Ruffian: Our apologies…miss.

Emma: It’s fine…

(...They’re all trembling)

It wasn’t like Prince Azel wanted to kill them.

There wasn’t even a hint of anger in his words.

Still, the tension was so oppressive that it felt as if a single divine command would erase not just their life, but their whole existence.

Azel (polite): You were about to lay your hands on God’s property. And my policy is to not show compassion to scoundrels who lay their hands on my property. In any case, God’s punishment will come. Be it tomorrow, or the day after, only I know.

There were no objections from the men.

It appeared they understood that they shouldn’t do this sort of thing to the Living God.

Azel (polite): Live piously while trembling in fear. So as to not incur more of God’s wrath.

Prince Azel wrapped an arm around my waist, but as if he remembered something, let go and quickly walked away.

He seemed to be heading toward the city, not the temple.

(...I’ll follow him)

I ran after Prince Azel’s retreating figure.

Now far from the men, I turned my head and saw that they still haven’t looked up.

When the city lights drew closer, Prince Azel finally stopped.

When our eyes met, God’s smile faded.

Azel: Why aren’t you carrying that with you?

Emma: “That”?

Azel: …You don’t have it on you?

Emma: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Prince Azel held his head and sighed.

Azel: That’s right. I wasn’t interested in you at this time.

Emma: …? Setting whatever you’re talking about aside, thank you very much for saving me earlier. I didn’t think you would save me like that… Prayers really do reach God.

Azel: It’s nice to see you’re in a good mood.

I ran after him when he walked away again.

Emma: Are you heading to the city?

Azel: Don’t you want to go home?

Emma: Pardon me for asking, but are you escorting me back?

(That refreshing indifference Prince Azel has toward others…)

Azel: Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m just taking a walk.

Emma: Of course you are. …But you’ve never gone for a walk to the city, have you? The reason why I run errands for you in the first place is because you can’t freely walk around the city—

Azel: Are you complaining about what a god’s doing?

A scowling Prince Azel came closer and pinched my cheek.

Emma: I’m sowwy.

Azel: As long as you understand. Look, when I said “a walk”, I meant it. Distrust’s blasphemous.

I nodded and the fingers tormenting my cheek left.

I followed after the footprints left by his long legs, trying not to fall behind.

(Huh? Even when I’m walking as hard as I can, I usually can’t catch up with him. But today, the distance between us isn’t as wide)

(Is Prince Azel matching my pace…? There’s no way)

--

Emma: …Prince Azel, how far are you going to walk for?

Azel (polite): Until I’m satisfied.

Now that he was surrounded by people, he suddenly switched to being polite.

Prince Azel’s sudden appearance startled people passing by.

Usually there’s advanced notice before Prince Azel visits court.

People needed to mentally prepare themselves before their living god appeared, so with his sudden appearance in the middle of the night, a wave of commotion gradually spread.

(Prince Azel didn’t go near the castle because he knew this would happen…)

(Everything really is weird)

(This Prince Azel looks like the one I knew, but it’s as if he’s been completely replaced…At least that’s how it feels)

Azel (polite): …Living in the castle is inconvenient, isn’t it?

It was like Prince Azel didn’t care about the racket around us as he glanced at me.

Emma: Y-yes…As your guest, I’ve always been treated with the highest courtesy.

Azel (polite): That is good to hear. Should you experience any form of displeasure, please let me know. Being disrespectful to my guest means being disrespectful to me.

Prince Azel’s voice was loud enough for everyone around us to hear, making them nervous.

(This concern he had for me was giving me the creeps)

(Just what in the world are you thinking, Prince Azel)

--

Emma: —Wait, why did you follow me into my room?!

[lilacxoz]

More Intimate~ Alhaitham

No implied gender, female genitalia

Boyfriend!alhaitham, bit of degradation, creampie, Alhaitham is a sex god.

You stare off into the widespread ocean, a gentle breeze picking up and blowing through your white maxi floral printed dress; the sun making the blue flowers sparkle.

You had to arrive back home in Mondstat in two days since vacation for the scholars was in full swing. The only thing you'd miss was your beloved boyfriend, a man who was very hard to peruse. You remember the first time you confessed to him; he had told you how relationships weren't his thing and he'd rather keep to himself. But after that confession, you seemed to have piqued his interest. After a few months after that confession, he seemed to be more comfortable around you. And since then, he has now been an amazing boyfriend.

You took in a fresh breath of air, the hot sun beaming down on you in a blissful way. "You look something out of a romance novel," you hear a familiar voice say from behind you. You turn around to be met with those beautiful aquatic eyes that never failed to make you swoon. He stood before you, his arms crossed over his chest as the most subtle smile curves his lips up.

"I didn't know you were such a complimenter," you tease, taking notice of the book in his hand. You point to it, a raised eyebrow crossing you face, "The Hidden Secrets of Intimacy?"

You watch as his cheeks grow pink as he hastily slips the book in his personal belongings, uttering a few incoherent words to himself. "It's nothing, just something I picked up at the library." You let a small giggle escape, it was no surprise that your beloved Alhaitham was new to love and all the different forms of it.

"So you were learning about intimacy?" You ask with a small smirk, crossing your own petite arms over your chest. Alhaitham was a good six foot tall, easily towering over your frame. At first, you found this intimidating, but now you find it endearing.

"No I was learning about the prophecy of a persons devotion and benevolence," he says in a monotone voice, giving you a straight face. You roll your eyes, flicking his forehead in result to your annoyance.

"You don't have to get so grammatical on me, just admit you were learning about sex," you say, taking his hand in yours as you lead him further down the port and towards the docks. "I don't know why you can't just be honest with me when you're embarrassed. Like that one time, instead of admitting you were wrong you insisted to buy me a lot of expensive things," you pointed out, making the ash haired scribe roll his eyes.

"Like you can talk," he scoffs, cupping your cheek with his hand as he leans down just a bit, "you always run away when you get embarrassed."

You let out a scoff of your own at his correct yet bold statement. He watches as your face turns a crimson red, a look of triumph glossing over his features. He decides to have more fun teasing you; pulling you close to him by the hips as he turns you so he's hugging you from behind. He knows how you feel about public affection and how embarrassed it makes you. You'd always ask him how he could be so publicly affectionate when he was, to which he'd always respond with "because I do what I want, I'm not gonna let a few stares change that."

"'Haitham!" You whine, trying to squirm from his grasps but it was a failed attempt. He places kisses in the crevices of your neck, his arms snug around the indent in your waist.

"Shhh, causing a ruckus will only make more people stare," he whispers. You let yourself relax, he wasn't going to let up soon so you'd just have to bare the embarrassment. He takes a hand and sweeps your hair to one side of your head so he can get a better view of your neck. "Why does publicity like this always make you embarrassed?" He whispers, placing a gentle kiss to your neck.

"I don't know, just the thought of so many eyes on us; I don't know how it doesn't make you feel a little anxious," you admit, placing a hand over the arms he has wrapped around you.

"Does it make you uncomfortable? Because I could stop, I don't want to, but I will." He leans over you a bit to see your face, to which you just shook your head in response.

"It's fine, just something I really need to get used to," you say as you turn around in his arms, planting a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Hey, Kaveh is supposed to be gone today right?" You ask as you run your fingers through the hairs on the back of his neck. He gives you a perplexed expression before a small smirk forms on his face.

"How bold of you, why don't we eat all of his pizza as well," he suggests to which you nod. You found that one of Alhaitham's favorite pass times is making his roommates life inconvenient.

And so the two of you set off to Alhaitham's shared town home, watching him fumble with his keys a bit before finally unlocking the door. You had been in their home several times, but never alone with your boyfriend like this in the home. Despite the relationship between you two standing for four months already; you both have only had sex twice, each time being in your small apartment because Kaveh was at their home with a girl of his own.

"You want any juice or water? We could indulge in his apple juice?" You shake your head with a giggle, as much as you loved tormenting Kaveh and Alhaithem by helping them with their pranks, you didn't want to eat all of his food.

You sat on the countertop next to the fridge while you watched your boyfriend open the pizza box on the kitchen island in front of you. He hands you a slice before setting his hands on your thighs, accepting the first bite in the pizza that you offer being taking the second.

"So, you have your bags packed yet for your trip? it's a really long trip, you sure you want to make it?" You smile at his expression, he was always so caring of you and you loved that. He'd tell you he cared so much because it would be inconvenient if something bad happened to you, but you knew better.

"I can make it, I haven't seen my mom or dad in a year, I think it's time I visit," you say, offering him another bite in the slice of pizza that he greatly accepts. "But the option for you to come is still on the table, I know you have work to do but can't you do work on the go or something? You know, like file paperwork or something like that?"

"I wish, but things have been a little hectic lately." You offer a small smile as you finish off the pizza, placing your hands over the ones he has on your thighs. "But look, you get the last days you have in Sumeru with me if you'll really miss me that much," he points out, rubbing a soft circle on your thigh with his thumb.

"I know, it's just-" you trail off, poking the inside of your cheek with your tongue as your eyes drift off. He could tell you wanted to say something but we're unsure of it, and he didn't know why that was. He thought the both of you were comfortable enough to say everything, but lately he's noticed how you trail off mid-sentences sometimes.

"Why do you do that?" The question catches you a bit off guard as you meet his greyish eyes. "You don't finish sentences sometimes, like you want to say something. Just say it, it's not like the words will hurt me or you." You gulp at his call out, a little taken aback at how heeding he was.

"Well-" you suck in a breath, a blush blooming on your face. "It's just, we don't really get that intimate and I just don't know how to bring that whole subject up without getting embarrassed. So I was hoping that if you went on the trip with me that the moment would arise." His face goes blank before a smirk forms on his face as he stands up straight, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You have been acting weird because you're horny?" He gives a chuckle making you look up at him with an angry expression, your face beat red. "Sweet, you can ask me anything there's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Yeah but you always make me feel embarrassed with your reactions, you could be a little more sensitive," you say, jumping off the counter and moving to walk out of the kitchen. He stops you by wrapping his arms around your waist, planting a kiss to the back of your neck.

"You know, I've been pretty pent up too. But I'll admit something to you too; I don't know how to initiate the first move because I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Your heart stops a beat at his confession, turning around to face him and wrap your arms around his neck.

"But you don't need to worry about that, I tell you when I'm uncomfortable so why wouldn't I about that?" He shrugs, to which you kiss his cheek with a giggle. "I guess we've both been a little scared of the whole intimacy thing." You decide to take the first step, gently connecting your lips to his. This seems to open a door within Alhaitham, because he pulls you closer by the hips, pressing you up against the fridge in a haste. His lips make the next attack, laching onto your neck as he isn't shy about making his mark.

You let out a soft whisper of his name, your hands scrunching up his skintight shirt as your body responds to his actions. His hands scrunch up your sundress to your hips, skillfully sliding his knee in between your legs to apply some friction to your aching need.

"W-We can't do this out here," you softly whisper, causing him to grunt in response. He detaches his lips from your neck, his eyes completely lusted over along with the pink dusting his cheeks. He drags you by your dress towards his room, pushing you up against his door once he gets it closed. He had a very spacious room, his own room having a sliding door that led to a tiny garden outside his bedroom. His bed was large and sat in the middle of the back wall, a dresser on the adjacent wall full of stacks of books as well as stacks scattered across the floor.

He began to undress you, slipping the straps off your body and letting your dress pool at your feet. His lips took the liberty off nibbling on your ear, his hands making quick work of your bra. Once he gets your bra unhooked he tosses it behind him, each hand cupping a mound. "Such a pretty girl," he whispers, lips moving back to your each most sensitive places on your neck and chest. You decide to take your turn on undressing, starting with his top, leaving only his skintight sleeveless turtleneck.

He began to assist you, taking off his sleeves before pulling you towards the bed. He sat down on the foot of the bed, pulling you onto him so you're straddling his thighs. "Tell me what you want," he asks, cupping your cheek with his hand. Moments like these-when he was in a good mood, he'd be so loving and affectionate with you; like his heart was made of sugar.

"I want you. I want you to fuck me, please." He smirks at that, tilting his head to the side.

"You'd like that huh?" You nod, planting a kiss to his cheek, and then neck, and then soon you both were desperately taking his top off. He flipped you around so you were laid on his bed, his head resting in the crevice of your neck while his hand slips it's way downwards. When you feel his finger gently slide along your slit, you let out a throaty gasp, body tending up from the suddenness.

"You don't want to have sensual, slow sex like all the other times we've done it?" You shake your head, you were gonna be gone for awhile and you wanted to remember the roughness and softness of him-wanted to be left knowing what happened instead of thinking about what happened.

"Good," he said as he thrusted two fingers inside your pussy, body tending up at first before relaxing against him. You let him take control of your body, the pleasure filling up your body like a flood. You let out a series of moans and whines, to which he drinks up each one with his lips attacking yours.

It didn't take long before your hands were coiling into his hair and your body arching against his, your sweet relief on the horizon. Alhaitham could tell you were close by the way your eyes screwed shut and your moans became raspy and whiny. He decided to have fun with you, pulling his fingers out and shoving them in your mouth. Your eyes widened in surprise and disappointment at the loss friction.

"What's the matter? Did you really think I'd let you cum so early? With out me?" He pulls his fingers out of your parted lips, moving his hand so it wraps around your neck, not blocking any airways. When you don't give a response he sublty tightens his grip on your neck, raising an eyebrow. "Use your words and respond."

"Yes, I hoped you would," you mumble, averting your eyes from his hard turquoise ones. He chuckles, releasing your neck and instead cupping your cheek.

"You hoped wrong sweetheart," he cooes, positioning himself as he uses his hands to free himself from his confinements. You stared at his beautiful pink tip, drinking in the sight of how it slightly curved up. You readied yourself once he aligned his tip to your entrance, your body impatiently waiting for him to bottom out.

He slipped his tip in before purposefully missing, earning a frustrated huff from you. He did the same over and over, coating his cock in your glistening wetness.

"'Haitham stop it," you whine, his face forming a shit-eating grin. He leans down towards your ear, purposefully missing again just to set you off a little more.

"Stop what?~" he cooes, leaning away to take in your irritated expression.

"Stop fucking around and fuck me like a man!" You finally yell, irritation burning your blood. Your words seem to shock him, his face contorting from shock to a bit of anger. You weren't ready for what happened next, his cock plunging deep inside so much further than you've ever felt.

"Fuck you like a man? If that's what you want than I want you to scream and whine like the pathetic slut you are," he whispers in your ear, your eyes rolling into the back of your head.

His hands grip your wrists, pinning them above your head. His hips snap against yours, over and over again like a broken record. Your mouth went agape, quiet moans and whimpers escaping, your voice completely gone from how deliciously good he felt.

One particular hard thrust erupted a scream-like moan, your body hitching against his. Your hands tried to grasp onto something but he tightened his grip, grunting with each thrust.

"Tell me how good it feel, tell me how good I make you feel," he groans, hitting deeper and deeper until your legs start to shake.

"Fuck! You make me feel so fucking good," you moan, the pressure quickly building up so badly it hurts. He smirks in response, letting go of your wrists and instead pushing your knees up to your chest. The position hits you even deeper, your mouth left open as you let the pleasure consume you.

It was like time stopped, felt like your orgasm lasted for so long. Your vision went black, body shaking uncontrollably. Once you finally calmed down, your vision came back to you and your body stopped shaking. You didn't get the time to catch your breath because Alhaitham was always flipping you onto your stomach.

You were left with your ass up in the air, head buried into the sheets. "Just like that, take me all the way," he grunts from behind you, pounding himself back into you. You let out a strangled moan, the overstimulating sending you into overdrive.

His hand came down to rub your clit, your voice uncontrolled and coming out all cracked and raspy. "'M gonna cum inside, you'd like that won't you?" You nodded, hips meeting with each of his thrusts. It wasn't long before the overstimulation became too much, such a powerful orgasm on the rise.

The feeling of him shooting his cum inside of you was enough to set you off, your body curving into the mattress below. The room was filled with heavy breaths and quiet curses.

It took a few minutes before you were flipped around and gently laid against his bare chest. Your bodies glistened with sweat, your inner thighs wet with arousal and his cum. The feeling of it slipping out was enough to make a catholic have a heart attack.

"I'm glad we're agreeing sex needs to be more often," Alhaitham whispered, his hand slipping in between your thighs, slipping his fingers inside of you.

"Yeah like twice or three times a week, not every hour," you say, easily picking out the look of lust in his eyes.

"Just one more round, until you feel full of my cum."

[yutori-do]

The four things I notice and hate the most in Gai's (bad) characterization:

Intelligence: In some fics they make him completely stupid, with no ability to conform to social labels or understand what they say to him without rethinking it, and that makes my blood boil because this guy is anything but stupid; He is an avid learner and always seeks improvement (genin at 7, chuunin at 11. He may not be Kakashi but he is still quite a lot, right?), able to predict, if I remember correctly, up to a hundred movements of his enemy before to be executed, someone who thinks quickly in battle and very adaptable.

My God, he drives NUNCHAKUS and you think he's incapable of concentrating? I understand that it is one thing to sit down and study and another to train, but I don't think GAI, of all people, wouldn't take on such a challenge. Appearing empty-minded is his facade, his mask. The only way I can accept that he's pretty stupid is if it's because of the trauma of losing his father, he clings to the attitude of a child as a way to feel like he's back in his childhood. AND YET-

Okay, next point.

Darkness: This man was literally beaten by chuunin because when he was a child just for being the son of a outcast of Konoha, they made fun of him and probably isolated him from the rest as a child, and he has also been under a strict exercise regimen since he was 5 years old. An exercise that made him fall from fatigue and pain, and he, despite everything, continued to get up, continued to force himself to overcome the pain. Gai's darkness is not easily detected because he is not visibly cruel to anyone but himself; The only way he is easily seen is with his relationship with Lee, his dedication to put him through everything he put Lee through even though he is the person Gai loves the most (possibly after his father). The way he pushed his (Lee's) limits to the point of telling Lee that he should face death to hold onto some hope for a better future (to be a shinobi again) is very dark. The relationship he has with Rock Lee ironically brings out the worst parts of Gai, and there we enter the next point.

Cruelty: Gai is a character who has been shown to have an extremely strong code of values, in which benevolence always comes first; He is empathetic in a world where that is condemning, he is kind to people who at best only make fun of him for how he looks. In short, a great person. But that does not mean that he is not cruel, that he hesitates when killing; he is still a soldier, a child soldier who participated in a war based more on ego than anything else. His moral code does not prevent him from killing, but rather makes him limit himself, to limit himself to what is absolutely necessary. If he has defeated his opponents and thus achieved his mission, then he will not kill, because the rest are shinobi like him and also had a mission.

We've only seen traces of Gai's cruelty throughout Naruto, small flashes of what he truly is in battle. Do you seriously think that the title of Beast is achieved only by defeating enemies? It is not even a specific animal, but literally: Konoha's Beast of Prey.

And what is a beast but an animal that kills cruelly? One kick of his was capable of breaking rocks when he was just a child. What prevents him from punching through his opponent's chest? Breaking skulls using just his fingers? You're not going to tell me that someone like him, with his strength, is not capable of ripping off your arm in a single movement.

Gai is capable of great, great cruelty cultivated by years of being humiliated by the village he now protects with his life, by the Village for which he destroys his body day by day. Still, his morals prevail, but it does not mean that cruelty is inappropriate for him.

And possibly the root of all his problems...

Death Wish: Dying for the Village is something that is as ingrained in how Gai thinks as any Konoha child, but this takes a drastic turn when his father sacrifices himself to save him. His father was, despite being ashamed of him, his World. The only person who loved him with everything, who showed him sweetness and tenderness in everything, he who took care of him as the most precious thing he had. In a place where everyone hated him and slowly began to change because Gai was useful to them, only his father loved him unconditionally, no matter what.

It is not specified how old Gai was when his father dies, but he can be placed after 11 and before 14, and that is possibly the source of what he is like; totally adhered to what his father was in an attempt to demonstrate that Maito Dai was a great man and shinobi through his legacy of the Eight Gates, his greatest and only technique. It is known that before he was 20 he had already acquired his title of the Blue Beast of Konoha, so it is accurate to say that he already knew how to open the Seventh Gate, at LESS THAN TWENTY YEARS OLD, the time it took his father to master the technique.

Gai's desire for death and his perspective of it is shown by his speech about Lee's highly risky surgery; If he can't live fully as a ninja, then he doesn't want to live. For him, Death is a price, the most precious coin that he is able to throw to prove something, to prove that he is worth something in a world where Death is common, where he was expected not to survive, much less prosper.

He lives life to the fullest, being his best person, enduring whatever it takes because he knows that his end, his death, when it happens, will show everyone that he was never weak, that he was incredibly powerful, and for someone who grew up being treated as the lowest scum except by his father, who ended up dying in a blaze of glory as an outcast, a death like that is the highest he can aspire to. For him, the only destiny is death, and the only way to prove his worth. And that's not fucked?

(And if you want to add another tragedy, possibly the Eighth Gate was a relief during the war because Gai's death cannot go unnoticed, hidden. Being someone who had so many limitations, being at a significant disadvantage, and being sent to war so young, where the majority are children or other young people who die anonymously, the Eight Gates were his way of establishing that no, he would not be killed, because he would kill himself first. Oh, now i know why he respected Kisame so much at the end.)

[chuckeroo777]

Dungeon Meshi Volume 10 Part 1

Welcome back! Today we're liveblogging volume 10!

Things are heating up in the kitchen, so lets not dilly dally!

Says the guy who's never missed a shot on-screen.

You know things have gotten serious when Laios doesn't immediately geek out.

So, what's the story with these guys? We know Thistle yoinked Yaad as punishment, but what happened to the others? How did Delgal manage to get his soul in his son's body in the first place? Did Thistle make that mannequin, or did Delgal do a swap to decieve Thistle? Who are the ladies?

Between this and the Undine, elemental creatures are really nasty in this universe. Also, imagine my disappointment that the meal below doesn't have garlic.

You'd think she would realize by now that there is a method to Laios' madness.

God, she's just like me sometimes.

For someone who has so much trouble understanding humans, he does occasionally have deep insights. The true nature of Thistle's madness is really starting to sink in for him.

How does that work when the bird is chopped up into many pieces? Can it regenerate from just one? Do phoenixes reproduce via budding?

Laios understands and will comply. But the other book is fine to do whatever to, right?

I don't remember the Cheshire cat being this evil.

So, yes. You are looking at the heart of the most forbidden magic of all time. Not ringing any alarm bells? Not even one?

Marcille would be a horrible picklock. But seriously, the lack of subtlety is definitely a character flaw.

A most majestic steed.

An important image.

Don't laugh. I think it looks great. Very "Warlock who spits in the face of god" coded. Not that I think that will be relevant.

On a more serious note, how do people know this works against rabbits, but don't know what the rabbits themselves are?

"How Hungry?"

This is supposed to be a Marcille arc. Stop having so many good faces Izutsumi.

A precious image.

So... I can't be the only one who momentarily feared she was going to use Chilchuck as raw material on their first read, right?

Fun fact, puppeting corpses like this is actually really easy magic, but it's just taboo as hell. See? I told you you'd get to the war crimes Marcille. Good for you.

Heh, they even have their matching belt pouches from that one extra.

Everyone imagines Laios as about 50% more psychopathic than he actually is.

God, this episode is gonna be NUTS. I can't wait.

Don't worry Izutsumi. Everything is safe and normal and good.

That is not a benevolent smile.

Marcille: So sad.

Laios: Deeply regretting actions.

Senshi: Unsure, but supportive.

Izutsumi: Tsundere.

Chilchuck: Not getting paid enough for this shit.

On to part two! See you there!

[olive-garden-hoe]

PEOPLE WANT THE NUMBER LORE (1 greatly appreciated moot allowing me to yap, @alphabootayyyshaker9000) SO I SHALL DROP IT:

*note I made this up when I was like 8 with little to no change in the way I have thought about it since*

1: just a guy tm, he/him

- the most chill guy you’ll ever meet

- stays out of people’s business and amplifies the characteristics of those he’s with by staying quiet most of the time (identity rule)

- not held in super high regard by the others and he’s fine with that

- can be pushed over the edge (imaginary numbers)

2: anxious eldest daughter of divorced parents, she/her

- wants everyone to get along

- WILL sacrifice anything and everything to keep the peace (this is important)

- constantly a nervous wr ça vut hides it with even stability

3: wacky uncle tm, always thought she/her but I’ve caught myself using they/them so she/they ig

- eldest sibling who WILL pull pranks on you but knows when to stop

- likes having fun and enjoys a bit of chaos

- very chill, most like her or have no opinion (besides 8)

4: condescendingly nice guy (he/him)

- four begins to show signs of the higher number supremacy I made up (bro as I’m typing this I’m realizing how batshit insane this is)

- wants to be kind but is just nice

- passive aggressive and talks shit about everyone behind their backs

- associated with autumn brown… for some reason?

- wants to be just like 8

5: sans archetype pre-sans (he/him)

- a chill guy with quietly powerful abilities

- looked down upon by most (except 1 and 3) but doesn’t care

- breaks the universe on a whim (all multiples end with 5 or 0)

6: girlboss arc (she/her)

- BIG inferiority complex at first

- has a FAT crush on 7 and everything she does is for him

- big arc comes after 6x7

-begins to love herself and self-worth explodes

- not rebellious after 6x7 but not as much of a simp

7: the bastard (he/him)

- a magic-wielding trickster (Loki-adjacent ig but I didn’t know about that when I made this up)

- plays tricks to the detriment of others and is full of himself

- puts down anyone for his own gain

- loves chaos

- has a slight crush on 8

8: pretentious girl next door (she/her)

- convinced she’s better than all numbers below her

- talented sorceress, but not as much as those above her or 5

- admires 9 as a mentor and does everything to get his attention (she fails)

- constantly trying to improve herself

- highly intelligent

9: emo wizard (he/him)

- he doesn’t care for any numbers beneath him, including 8

- dislikes most everything and everyone

-fully thrown himself into magical studies and is now a prodigy, close to but not exactly on-level of the double-digits

10: The master (they/him)

- almost god-like from the magical power he has attained at this point

- benevolent by convenience

- not fond of any other numbers, not pretentious just highly introspective and antisocial

- teaches some tricks to those below them

- I imagined he was so busy with his studies he rarely interacted with any other number (that’s why his multiples are so simple)

11: wacky uncle (he/him)

- THE guy

- 3 but like Hawaiian shirt on the beach with flip flops kinda way

- always though of him as adjacent to Doc Brown from BTTF but with more zany sound effects

- 10,11, and 12 are equally powerful but 11 uses his to just make sandwiches and shit

12: the reluctant mom (she/her)

- caring but won’t admit it

- usually the one to teach lower numbers magic

- ends up helping the numbers more than one may think

- pretentious as a coping mechanism

OKAY OKAY OKAY LET ME EXPLAIN WITH THE MULTIPLES:

- products of these characters are basically the embodiment of their relationship in numeric form, but are also physical and comparable kinda? It’s hard to explain, but I think it makes sense???

- since I didn’t need pneumonic devices to remember things like 3x3 and 4x3, multiples of numbers that are characters aren’t counted

- generally, even numbers are considered ‘stable’ (as in, representative of a relatively healthy/normal relationship) and odd numbers are ‘unstable’ (meaning generally chaotic but with various embodiments)

- multiples of 2, since she’s so accommodating, are considered the ‘ideal relationship’ or ‘best form’ of the number she’s multiplying by

- numbers within the multiple are similar but not necessarily the characters talked about prior

I won’t go through all the products but here are some keystone ones I use:

3x7=21: two relatively chaotic numbers that like playing jokes create a number beginning with an even number and ending with an odd number because it’s unexpected and funny and shows their chaotic but not unsustainable relationship. 7 grows bored easily, however, and even 3 is to stable for him…

4x4=16: since 16 is the product of 2 and 8, considered to be the perfection of 8 and 4 wants to be like 8, his interaction with himself leads to a product that embodies his unhealthy idolization of 8 and his grandiose ideals of himself (thinking he himself is 16, not just 8, which is his perfect form)

6 arc:

6x9= 54: 6 tries to get along with bigger numbers in an attempt to impress 7 regardless of how 9 is not interested in getting to know her. 9 contribute the first digit of 5 as an odd number like him, conveying his vanity, and 6’s need to be liked by 7 is embodied by 4, the last digit of 7’s perfect form of 14

6x8=48: 6 befriends 8 in an attempt to get to 7 who’s been ghosting her, and 8 (despite herself) forms a relatively close bond with her and advises 6 to seek joy from herself before seeking joy from 7, which 6 says she takes to heart but doesn’t really, a fact 8 doesn’t notice because she’s too wrapped up in congratulating herself on how good of a number she’s being. The last digit represents 8’s vanity permeating her and 6’s relationship while the beginning digit represents 6’s persistent thoughts of getting close to 7, now becoming more focal in her mind as it takes the first number here as opposed to taking the second number with 9.

6x7=42: finally 6 gets 7’s attention and they date, which is apparently stable, which makes 7 uncomfortable and causes him to distance himself from 6. The beginning digit represents the persistent idolization of 7 by 6 as previously discussed, and the final digit is even as well to represent how ‘stable’ the relationship is by 6’s own design. 7 hates this stability, though, used to chaos and being frankly cruel, leading to…

6x6=36: after 6 realizes how toxic 7 is and that he doesn’t really want her like she wants him, she finally steps back and breaks up with him. She goes on a journey of repairing her relationship with herself, culminating in a happy identity number with the first being a factor of herself and the second being herself. This shows her growth as a person to finding value within herself instead of in the arms of another.

I probably sound insane and this definitely doesn’t make sense but it’s how I learned my multiplication tables lmao

[d-adpool]

[Blind] [scar] [massage]

In that order

Wade doesn't see who you are before you slip the blindfold over his eyes, and you're incredibly lucky he remembers reblogging the ask, because otherwise you'd be getting a baby-knife straight to the solar plexus.

"Ooh, kinky," he cooes, as you pull the zipper down from the back of his suit, exposing an array of scars on his back. "Love that for me."

A finger begins to trace lightly along the scars there, with kindness in the touch, with interest and affection. Wade still can't recognize who it belongs to, but he rolls with it. Nobody who reads his blog would be here to hurt him... probably. And, honestly, it could also be fun if they were. He's always down for surprises.

The massage oil is certainly one of those surprises. He's never used it before, and he honest-to-god thinks it's lube for a second before he wisens up a little.

This is nicer than anybody treats him. The gentleness, the benevolence, as your fingers massage it into his scars, it's confusing more than anything. He doesn't know what to do with it.

He doesn't bother to ask who you are. You'll talk if you choose to.

Or he'll rip off the blindfold when you're done and find out anyway. And, depending on who you are, he might ask for it again someday.

[pleas3pretendimnothere]

Six more books this month! If I keep this up, I'll be barely able to meet my 52-books goal. The (short) Narnia books are my backup plan if I run out of time... Anyway, I read a lot of great stuff this month!

Piranesi

By Susanna Clarke - I've been looking forward to this read all year. Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell was my favorite book I read last year, and while Piranesi was not quite so huge and fantastical, it was still another outstanding project from Clarke. I loved this book.

Piranesi's best strength is the constant sense of foreboding. The narrator is childlike, his desires and endeavors so simple, they sometimes seem pathetic. Piranesi is naive but he isn't dumb. He seeks truth, and his naivete transforms a strange, cold, unwelcoming world into something magical, mysterious, and benevolent. This creates a peculiar sense of wrongness throughout the tale's beginning, and when truths slowly come to light, Clarke only further bends the reader's perception of Piranesi's world. Is it the world that is broken, or the men living within it?

The book somehow felt too simple, too quick, but nonetheless, I couldn't put it down. The main character is loveable, and the challenges he faced still haunt me. Even now, I get shudders, remembering the twists! Deeply psychological stuff! Everyone who loves a good mystery, maybe even horror, needs to read this one. BUY IT!

Sabriel

By Garth Nix - I'm a sucker for fantasy romance (very different from romantasy, btw). If the fantasy world is weird, and the romance is built from adventure and adversity, I'm game. This book...this is it...

LOVE Sabriel. Can't sing enough praises. We've got weird necromancy magic based on runes and a series of bells capable of varying archaic horrors. A weird fantasy world split in half. On one side, people are living in a happy and prosperous Ghibli world, on the other, they're fighting monsters and undead ghouls in a Souls game. There's a cat that is also a mind-devouring cosmic god. Cool. Then, children are thrown helplessly to the wilds as bait for bigger predators. It was Berserk, but for the girlies.

The romance was exactly what I like. Natural, built on friendship and trust, and low on the horniness scale (although Nix weirdly informs us that our male character is...cut....okay, I guess...). The adventure was dark and gruesome, as the central magic system is necromancy, so there was an unexpected element of horror in Sabriel. Nix pulls off a sinister sense of danger and risk that sustains itself from beginning to end. Characters die and are killed and brought back, and the ending! Bizarre, frightening, but endearing and clever. Loved it.

Cannot WAIT to pick up the sequels. This is my perfect book, no flaws, no notes. If you like sweeping romance and spooky fantasy, stuff like Howl's Moving Castle, BUY IT!

The Ship of the Dead

By Rick Riordan - I don't know how to review Riordan books. I don't know what to say. They're all carbon copies of each other with little distinct tweaks to an excellent formula. They're all good.

I mean it, I don't know what to say. The Magnus Chase series is good. Period. It's fun, it's weird, and this finale was especially dark. The dragon scenes were excellently scary! Throughout the rest of The Ship, I was laughing, I was gasping, I was having a wonderful ol' time. Period, no notes. Keep it up, Rick.

Don't sleep on these books, that's all. Read them, learn stuff, warm your heart, and repeat. Revolutionary series? No. But joyous and loveable? Absolutely. RENT IT!

Borne

By Jeff Vandermeer - I just ate so good this month. Sabriel was my perfect book, and so too is Borne. I am an insatiable devourer of dark romance. Thank you Jeff, god bless.

Weird is the best way to describe Vandermeer's projects. The Southern Reach trilogy played on evolution, madness, and legacy. It was freaky and exciting, and I knew after finishing it that I had to read more from Vandermeer. His mind is sometimes so impossible to comprehend. Borne came into my lap, and I zipped through it in no time. Why? Of course, because there's romance! I just can't put that shit down, I'm serious!!

This novel is quirky and silly at times, and then it quickly turns upsetting and dark at the drop of a hat. It's graphic and absurd, and the terror is masterfully written. Like Junji Ito, Vandermeer finds horror in the absurd. He takes a bear, a frightening predator, and says, what if it was really big? And it was flying? And it also used to be a normal man, but now its a fucked-up god? Silly, strange, but when written in the cosmic sense, as Vandermeer writes it, petrifying. The mundane becomes the macabre. Chef's kiss.

And a goopy, otherworldly, unfathomable monster? What if it was a child? What if it loved you, and you taught it to be kind, but it was still just a monster? Borne the character is so complex and fun and scary, and I think I won't ever to be able to forget how he made me laugh.

And I didn't even mention the romance, oh, the ROMANCE! Another perfect book. If you're into psychological horror and romance, this is for you. I'm talking fucked-up, NieR: Automata, SCP shit. Loved it so, SO much, BUY IT!

In the Time of the Butterflies

By Julia Alvarez - And now for something completely different! I read A Thousand Splendid Suns and told my friend I was a sucker for stories about the struggles of women in the world. She said, "Oh! I've got just the book for you!"

In the book's Afterword, Alvarez explains her intent to bring the struggles of the Dominican Republic to the English-speaking world. That English-speaking world is a bubble, after all, and it's a difficult one to penetrate. Growing up as an American, I knew almost nothing about the world south of America. I learned about Europe and China and North America, but I essentially thought South America was all one, big, same place. Africa, too. Of the Dominican Republic, even as an adult, I knew very little.

For that, I am most thankful to the book. Alvarez follows a fictionalized version of the Mirabal sisters, four sisters whom three of were martyred during the Era of Trujillo. While many of the events of book are dramatized, many surprising scenes are not. I was constantly fact-checking the events of this book, which lead to lots of time spent researching the history of the Dominican Republic. Before this read, I knew next to nothing about the country, and now, that's totally changed.

The book feels mournful from the start, as the reader knows these women are doomed. Nonetheless, each feels like a fully realized woman with personality and desires, hopes and sorrows. I only became emotional during the epilogue, when Alvarez details the impact of these four women following the murders. I genuinely felt I had watch three women die far, far too young, and I commend Alvarez for that.

Alvarez has accomplished a powerful, insightful novel about women and the Dominican Republic. The day of their death, I learned too, would become the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. That's kind of a big deal! It's a personal, emotional read, and I'd recommend it to any and all readers who want to understand a massive part of history in a quiet corner of the world. RENT IT!

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter

By Brandon Sanderson - I am no stranger to Sanderson's work, but I knew almost nothing about his four "Secret Project" novels. Of them, this one attracted me the most because romance + fantasy = yippee!! Unfortunately...I sort of hated this book.

I love the Mistborn series. Really enjoyed The Way of Kings and Elantris. Adored Warbreaker. Again, I am quite familiar with Sanderson's cosmere and his style of writing. Yumi was akin Sanderson's modern Mistborn books--fun, but lackluster. Where Alloy of Law and its sequels are campy, Yumi is just embarrassing. I was cringing SO MUCH at Sanderson's constant need to explain away all the mystery of this book! Mystery is good, I kept screaming! Ask Nix! I don't need an explanation for every little thing! When he wasn't explicitly saying, "Yes, we are definitely in fantasy anime Japan," he was covering for all the plot-holes that OBVIOUSLY weren't really plot-holes! Plot-holes I hadn't even considered, until his quirky narrator served them up to me out of nowhere! Why? I don't know! I don't know!!!

Don't get me started on the Japanese-cringe. It really felt like a mediocre, forgettable anime. At one point early on, Sanderson attempts to explain what MUST be Keigo, and...oof. So wrong, so misunderstood! And why attempt putting fantasy Korea into the mix when hardly any effort was made to do so? Why not make both Japanese fantasy? WHY?!

I'm getting angry just writing this. The book had a lot of potential to explore cool ideas; a nobody from a technologically-advanced society ends up in a position of import in a foreign land, where everyone thinks he's someone he isn't. The possibility for conflict was ripe. What if Painter thieved Yumi's body? What if he attempted to split their connection and seize control? His own body had been stolen and reshaped! Wouldn't he be disturbed, upset? I wanted some kind of betrayal, I wanted anger and agency, but instead, our two main characters are instantly peas in a pod! Everything's cool, all the time! Painter's secrets are small and unimpactful, and while the twist of Yumi's world WAS more worthwhile, it somehow lacked drama? How? The twist was huge, why didn't it feel huge! It was Broken Age and Your Name, but worse. If there were stakes, I didn't care about them!

To describe this book in one word, I'd say disappointing. Don't read this. Watch Your Name, play Broken Age, but just...just don't read this. Waste of my time! SKIP IT!

[frostyreturns]

Frosty Ruins The Prince Of Egypt

This is a movie I actually remember going to see in theatres as a kid. My older brother took me for my birthday and must have thought the movie was underwhelming because after we watched it he insisted we go to the toy store right after for a secondary gift. That was unneccesary because even a mediocre movie with my brother was a good time. Now I haven't seen the movie since then so let's see if that assessement of mediocre still stands.

I've never been a huge fan of Dreamworks, the first Shrek movie was great but I have trouble even picking a second favourite movie of theirs. I've always found their character designs offputting. The artwork in the movie overall is very good…the settings the backgrounds the buildings all look terrific but the characters themselves…just look goofy and not goofy in a fun way, goofy in an 'am I supposed to believe this mongoloid alien is a person' kind of way.

I hate the musical aspects of this movie as well, it just doesn't fit. The music in a story like this is to keep the kids engaged…to make otherwise dark or boring parts of the story more interesting and recapturing a short attention span. However when the story is grim and the music is grim…it just doesn't work with the sad ballads. I'm sure there are some people who like that kind of thing but I'm not one of them. Even as a kid when I liked musical cartoon feature length movies I didn't care for the music in this one at all. The music just isn't good it doesn't flow well it's not catchy or memorable and some of it is downright cringeworthy.

I can also see the movie being polarizing for the religious elements. It opens with the disclaimer that they took some artistic license but felt it was a faithful adapation of the story. However when you adapt a story there's so much room for…adding here…taking away there…altering one single word can change so much and is considered apostasy. However sometimes those changes can also bring a story more alive. One thing that stood out to me in this vein is when moses kills the slavedriver. In the movie it's presented like as though it was an accident to make him a more sympathetic character and to avoid taking a moral stance on killing oppressors. The reality is he saw his people being abused by evil men and killed one out of rage. By altering this it presents a moral perspective not present in or consistent with the Bible that says killing is always wrong no matter what. And it attempts to present Moses as a more benevolent and perfect figure than he was, which ruins the notion of God using imperfect people to do great things. They hammer this home by doing a whole song and dance about how great Moses is. Moses is feeling unworthy and he overcomes this self doubt by "looking at his life through heavens eyes" thus attributing this veneration of Moses to God. Rather than Moses bringing glory to God they reverse this and have God bringing glory to Moses. Now maybe this is intentional or maybe an accidental consequence of a slight "artistic" alteration of the story. just to give an idea for how much of a departure it is this is the full story as it appears in the Bible/Torah.

Exodus 2:11 11 Years later, after Moses had grown up, he went out to his own people, and took notice of their heavy burdens. He saw an Egyptian beating up a Hebrew, one of his own people. 12 Looking around and seeing no one else, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. 13 Going out the next day, Moses noticed two Hebrew men fighting right in front of him. He told the one who was at fault, “Why did you strike your companion?” 14 The man replied, “Who appointed you to be an official judge over us? Are you planning to kill me like you killed the Egyptian?” Then Moses became terrified and told himself, “Certainly this event has become known!”

I'm sorry but that's a wildly different story than the one presented in the film, where he accidentally bumps a man off a ledge and is immediately offered immunity by Rameses which he turns down out of guilt. This is just one example but there's more.

What I did like about the movie is that i've always hated ancient egypt…it was an evil, oppressive, demonic empire and I hate the way there's a fascination with it that doesn't acknowledge or glosses over these things. The movie showcases just a small portion of their evil and it's always fun to watch an evil empire get pwned and seeing slaves go free.

I'm very conflicted about movies like this in general, I don't like seeing Bible stories as tales to sit and watch for entertainment. This isn't a story made up to entertain it's a historical and religious story told so we'll know the tale and it's importance spiritually. I'm not opposed to it in general I'm not saying it's wrong I just have mixed feelings about it. Seeing a story about the one true God delivering people from slavery... on the shelf next to a story about an ogre rescuing a princess…I dunno man. I just don't think the word of God is meant to be a story consumed for passing the time. I think part of the problem is I found the movie aggressively mediocre…and it almost feels wrong to say that about a Bible story…but Bible stories shouldn't be judged on their entertainment value at all. It's like judging a steak dinner for how much it tastes like candy….it does a bad job of it…but it's not supposed to and is meant to do something more important for you.

Overall it's not a terrible movie and it definitely seems like it was made in earnest, it was clearly not created to be a mockery or to diminish the story, it fails in some areas but succeeds in others. I think this is more of a take it with a grain of salt thing and not a throw the whole thing out kind of thing.

C+

[nientedenada]

"You can make a mark on the world without treachery or murder." - Or can you? Some Skyrim Boethiah Quest Weirdness

Crossposted from r/teslore.

In Boethiah's Skyrim quest, you can confront her former Champion, whom she's tasked you to kill. And he has some interesting things to say.

This is what you want? To slave for others? What about your own destiny? "Mind my words or I'll mind them for you: I'm slave to no man, no god, and no Daedra. Boethiah talks about leaving your mark, a sign of your passing.... Well, you can make a mark on the world without treachery and murder. Whenever a man's life is saved by armor made with these hands, these hands have changed that man's destiny and his family's. So you can tell that heartless Daedra bitch I'm done doing her dirty work."

I've seen this exchange quoted many times on teslore, and analyzed it with others. Is Boethiah really against leaving your mark on the world without treachery or murder? Or is she pissed off at this guy specifically for rejecting her? Does she want people to follow their own will or hers? All excellent questions, but I have to admit I never played the quest through or investigated the Champion himself.

Yesterday, I finally checked the wiki to find out who this guy was, and how he was living his life, and discovered he's a bandit chief as well as a smith and keeps a dead body in a cage in his cave. His hide-out is Knifepoint Ridge and he replaces the radiant bandit chief if the Boethiah quest is active.

So much for no murder. What is going on here?

Boethiah's instructions to you paint a picture consistent with the person and setting we actually find

"My previous champion displeases me. It is time he is replaced - in the traditional fashion." Who is he? "I am loath to utter his name... one cannot erase a thing if it has a name to be remembered." Where can I find him? "You will find him holed up at Knifepoint Ridge, where he plays king to bandits and highwaymen." What has he done to displease you? "For a time he served his purpose, but that time has ended. He uses my gifts for his own amusement, and the only amusement I tolerate is my own." Say no more. He's as good as dead. "Kill every single member of his band. Do so as silently and invisibly as you can, for this is not about you. You are to be my instrument in this. Slay him in the coldest of blood. Do not give him the dignity of defending himself. Once his corpse lays cold upon the ground, and all trace of his followers erased, retrieve my Ebony Mail. A gift fit only for my true champion."

Why is this petty bandit king talking about having turned his back on murder and serving other people?

A fun Watsonian in-universe answer would be that the guy is in denial about what he truly is. He prizes his loyalty to his comrades/followers and paints himself in a positive light as a benevolent crime family boss.

For a development-focused Doylist answer, I'm certain the quest was rewritten at some point, and the champion's dialogue is a missed artefact of an earlier version. The tenor of the Dragonborn's question "This is what you want? To slave for others?" makes no sense in the current quest where Boethiah's told us this guy is using Boethiah's powers to be a bandit king, and this is exactly how he appears when we meet him. I think the Champion's dialogue was written for an earlier iteration of the character, where he was a smith in a civilian setting and had truly turned his back on violence.

Supporting this theory, there is very little chance of ever seeing this dialogue in game. The Champion is automatically aggressive, like every other bandit in the stronghold. You have to use a calming spell to talk to him, and there is nothing to suggest you should. Skyrim doesn't usually hide conversations with bandits and Boethiah asks you to use stealth attacks during this mission so you're even less likely than ever to come out in the open and have a conversation. No playtester would ever trigger this conversation, so it could be easily forgotten. The game went out with the ghost of an earlier quest version in its files. And then it was probably found via Creation Kit, and documented on the wiki. It becomes a mainstay of discussion about Boethiah's values, but without the context of the gameplay.

The Champion's dialogue is still in the game, but what isn't in the game is Boethiah's viewpoint on the Champion's line of thinking. Boethiah in game is reacting to a bandit chief, not a civilian smith with a passion for helping people, so who knows what Boethiah would say about making your mark on the world through smithing? Maybe she'd still be mad at a former champion for throwing away her gifts for that, but this all becomes speculation. What seemed a concrete example of Boethiah's will crumbles when observed in context.

You could definitely come up with a Watsonian explanation to put all these points together, but this has been a good reminder for me that the Elder Scroll games are games first and foremost. Dialogue that seems to give insight into the lore might not actually say what it seems to say, once you observe the context of the gameplay.

[clarajohnson]

the magicians s2e3

eliot giving a real and that's what you missed on glee performance to start the episode

ta fucking da (i am in love with him)

rhinemann ultra is possibly my favorite spell name in this show. certainly the most memorable. i point at the screen when they say it.

lmao i forgot they didn't take care of the cursed thrones yet

if i had been abandoned in rural ren faire land with a spouse i didn't choose and my best friend and crush and crush's girlfriend returned with matching tattoos i would go crazy even without a cursed throne

oo-surpers... yoosurpers.

We're Fine :-l

god i hate to always be the one pointing out when these characters are hot but cursed throne quentin... is kind of hot

of course cursed throne alice is also hot but that's no different than any other alice

jesus you're acting like this is your first regicide

i forgot how often penny is on eccentric mega-personality genius babysitting duty

hiiiiiieeeee marina

she's literally the best i'm such a fan of her character this watch

I FORGOT MY BEST FRIEND HARVEY GUILLEN IS IN THIS !!!!!! BENEDICT I'M ALREADY SAD FOR YOU

i make maps, your majesty ??

be nicer to fen, penny, that's my (tumblr user han clarajohnson's) wife

a benevolent mommy who will solve my problems with her gaia problems? literally marina call me any time anyyyyyy time THE LEATHER SKIRT ARE YOU JOKING

i may truly skip the cupcake scene when it happens i'm already worried about it. it was genuinely my least favorite scene of the entire show last time.

you couldn't hit a fat girl with a fat-girl-seeking arrow... i like it but i don't love it

margo releasing her cacodemon that early is so crazy like without a curse i'm sure she never would've done it and it feels like the writers were just so enchanted by the concept they wanted to use it again. and then they like, didn't use it ever again lol?

you shot me, you cock !!!!!!!

ah yeah i will be skipping all the marina reynard stuff sorry

fen with a crossbow is very pleasing to me

sorry it's like 50% horniness and 50% i love how crazy this show is and what it lets all its characters do, you know?

what's best in life? to crush your enemies ??!!!! i love you cursed throne margo

is it wrong to say i find her death extremely satisfying WHAT DID SHE MEAN BY THAT

PLEASE the noise q makes when el extracts the syringe

alice being disturbed by feeling her cacodemon under her skin is so fun. high fantasy autistic texture aversion.

man it sucks skipping the marina reynard scenes because she's my best friend and wife of twenty years

love the cool dude magic music they use to really emphasize how fun tutting is

MARINA GET THE LEO BLADE DO IT DO ITTTTTT

once again alice is the most not-grown-up extremely mature child in the world tell me why she's about to save the entire fucking universe and she wants a sundae with gummy bears on top

all i can handle right now is a goddamn ice cream sundae !!!! this feels like a trap !!!!!

i remember hating q during this argument and i don't hate him now but it does still kill me that he thinks now is the time to have this conversation. also don't make alice cry quentin

idk how olivia taylor dudley does it but she has this wretched little about-to-cry voice that kills me every time

i have... befouled... the wellspring

god i so don't care for ember i find him unpleasant and unnecessarily grody but i do enjoy the weirdo wellspring twist

i, like the magicians writers, forgot that q incurs an injury for which he will lose an arm

to our pretty corpses :'-)

i love el and margo's casual intimacy they are the sweetest friends

in 2016 "full harry potter part seven slash eight" was still a funny joke. I Assume.

(everyone chanting) NIFFIN! NIFFIN! NIFFIN! NIFFIN! NIFFIN!

perhaps the most pathetic q has ever looked up until this point

if i had a nickel for every time a quinn child had niffined out...

can't not say it niffin alice is so scary hot

aw margo apologizing to alice is so sad once again this character has LAYERSSSSS

feels really revealing that q chose el and margo over alice idk

now i'm not going to say that between quentin and marina as characters i'd choose to change marina's death... but between marina and anyone else i'd choose marina

[bluerosesburnblue]

1. I have a question for you about Tru Calling for fun, if you want:) So, as you know, they tried to keep the stuff with Tru and Jack not as black and white as it might have initially seemed. Everyone at first surely would have wanted to be on Tru's side because she saved lives and Jack took them, or so it seemed. But Jack did raise some good points about how there could be drastic consequences to what Tru did. Maybe not with a few saves. But that when they started stacking up.

2. Tru thought that Jack was messing with fate. But he thought that she was. And actually, when the writers revealed some of their plans for the show, I think it was somewhat revealed that JACK was right about this part of it. And that the writers had somewhat based their lore on "Paradise Lost." Tru WAS messing with fate/what the gods wanted or whatever. But their lore had it so there were a few times that you could do that before things started to drastically shift (paraphrasing there). 3. And I think the original writer's post about this might have gotten taken down, sadly. But my question is, knowing all of this, if you had to choose a side: who were you with? Tru or Jack?;)

Ah, I remember us talking about this. And the thing is, I think it really depends on how much you trust these Powers That Be. Are the ones in control of the universe right? Benevolent? At least in terms of what we got to know in the show, it's almost impossible to say, so I really don't know whose side I'd be on. Both are just acting in accordance with what they think is right (short-term salvation of a single life vs. long-term good for all) and who actually is is dependent on that nebulous end goal of the gods

It's just the trolley problem. If Tru saves one life, but it dooms others because of how fate works, then can we really say she's right or wrong? Is the gods' true future "right" if it means that innocents have to die? And I don't think, in this instance, that there's meant to be an answer (or, at least, there hadn't been one we were meant to see yet at the point things were cancelled). And it's a real shame that the show didn't go on for longer to actually start delving into these things, and who gave Tru and Jack their powers and why, because if it did I might actually be able to come up with an answer

If this kind of philosophical question interests you, though, then I'd definitely recommend checking out the webcomic One Last God: Kubera. It's a bit of a long one, but the main crux of the plot actually is this exact issue. It may not look it at first, but as of the current updates it's apparent that the plot is a battle between a god who always tries to get the "best future" in every universe, even if this "best future" means sacrificing the lives of countless good people (and no one even knows what "best" means), and a goddess of chaos who wants him to fail. The whole thing is even referred to as a "game" between them, and our main characters are the "pieces" who slowly learn more about why things are the way that they are and if either of the gods are really right. And, thankfully, it looks like this story will actually be able to go on long enough to talk about the implications of it

[bi-turtle-enthusiast]

Thanks for answering my ask. Can I ask (again), if you don't mind, your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from TGCF & SVSSS? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments each from the series? Thanks if you want to answer....

ough ok this is gonna be hard bc i unironically love every character in tgcf for one reason or another.

top 3 tgcf characters:

3. Shi Qingxuan/Jun Wu I did NOT expect Jun Wu to be on this list but I started writing my fic and I kind of fell in love with his character. He's an awful person who loves causing misery but at the same time there's something so painfully human about wanting so desperately to be understood by someone, anyone. I don't condone his actions but I'm here to watch. I love Shi Qingxuan for being genderfluid, brave and kind, and just so much fun. She brings unmatched energy into every scene she's in and I just love her.

2. Hua Cheng This one should be pretty obvious considering I made him my pfp on my art blog and refuse to stfu about him but god DAMN I just can't stop thinking about him. I love everything about him. His amazing fits. His incredibly powerful imagery. The way he's just so insane. His butterflies. The color red. The gender. Everything.

1. Xie Lian He's the one I draw the most for a reason. I have a thing for characters who choose kindness whenever they can, and I love Xie Lian for being able to ultimately decide that he does in fact want to use his godly powers to protect his believers and not to dominate them. He doesn't make that decision lightly—he knows what it's like to abuse his power for the sake of vengeance and he's seen what it's like when gods abuse their power for greed—he decides that being kind and benevolent is the path he wants to take because ultimately, it's love that keeps the world intact. Xie Lian is love, and I love him.

Honorable mentions: Mu Qing, Shi Wudu, He Xuan, Yushi Huang

top 3 svsss characters (bear with me because I am not super familiar with SVSSS)

3. Shang Qinghua I want to throw him against a wall (affectionate). I hate him. I love him but on a deeper level I hate him but on an even deeper level I love him. Just,, such a little shit

2. Zhuzi Lang He's a pathetic little meow meow with a fucked up sense of morality and objectively too many snakes. Someone get this guy a therapist and maybe a snack

1. Liu Qingge He's a hater through and through. I, too, find Bingqiu irritating. His "no Luo Binghes allowed" rule is perfection imo. And the way Shen Qingqiu can just call out his name and Liu Qingge will come out of literally nowhere with a flying kick?? Love that.

I honestly can't rank my top 3 moments from SVSSS because I don't remember it that well. Here are mine from TGCF though!

3. Jealous Xie Lian during the Blackwater arc Hua Cheng is like "my beloved is a noble, gracious special someone" and Xie Lian is like "ugh i hope they fucking die I MEAN I HOPE YOU THEY MAKE YOU SMILE." We don't really see jealous Xie Lian that often and it was really funny to see just how petty he got. He's usually really calm and collected and neutral about things but he was so intense here. Possibly because he was a bit hangry.

2. The Hualian confession Everything about it is just. hrmnksgnsf. I love it. I love the way they're kinda awkward after it but then they clear the air a bit and continue onwards while holding hands. I love the way Xie Lian confesses with a hug.

1. The bamboo hat/Xie Lian telling Bai Wuxiang to fuck off The moment where Xie Lian's faith in humanity is restored. And then Bai Wuxiang appears and tries to be all evil and Xie Lian just goes "fuck off you ugly mf you're blocking my sun" to the guy who's been haunting him nonstop for months on end. And Bai Wuxiang is so stunned that he gets a little desperate—so desperate that he starts a fight just so he can have an excuse to be "defeated" by Jun Wu. Man, I love that scene.

[eleanor-bradstreet]

Congrats on 500 followers! It's well-earned and MUCH deserved!

So I have a song I'd love to see an Insta-Plot for, whichever character and or pairing you'd like:

I'm sure this IN NO WAY will lead to something angsty ;) Go on, let us have it!

Hello my dear friend and thank you so much! 🥰💙

Hoooo boy you know what angsty buttons to push and you picked a whopper…

Firstly, I have to acknowledge that the Polin/Bton base are hoping Take Me To Church is used as the 'dicking down in the carriage' song for Polin, and I agree it's great for that 😜 But that's due to its punchy bass and title. The actual lyrics of the song are PURE angst, and that is the playground you set me loose in. Remember...you asked for this.

I think this would be an excellent song to score Benedict's spiral into hopelessness as he searches for Sophie. The setting is regency AOFAG with some twists.

Anthony hasn't worshiped in a church since his father died. He doesn't know what kind of benevolent god would allow something like that to happen. So aside from the necessities for weddings and the like, he avoids churches. But when Benedict begins his post-masquerade quest for his Lady in Silver, he's willing to try anything...anything that may help him, and he starts visiting their local church nearly every day to pray that he finds her.

Over the course of two years, Benedict's frustrations grow and hope wanes. Even though he no longer fancies himself an artist, he is hopelessly painting image after image of the Lady in Silver. He's visiting brothels not to sleep with anyone but just to look for women who have the same hair. He's drinking himself to death. The family is growing concerned. One night Madame Delacroix finds him being an absolute mess at a party and she takes pity on him and asks him what's wrong. He tells her all about the masquerade and she reveals to him that she knows the woman - it was her friend Sophie Beckett. She worked as a maid for the Cowpers but disappeared the night of the masquerade.

Benedict has a new surge of hope. He doesn't care that Sophie's a maid, he needs to see her again. The next day he marches over to the Cowpers and asks if they know where Sophie went. Araminta doesn't actually know, but because she is vindictive and doesn't want anyone poking around in their business (namely that she and Lord Cowper stole Sophie's dowry), she lies to him and says Sophie died. Benedict is demolished. He goes home and tells Anthony how his search came to an end. He won't accept any comfort, it's as if he's lost his soul. He says a bunch of mournful and cryptic things so Anthony is on high alert.

The next morning when Benedict goes to the empty church at his typical time to 'pray for Sophie's soul', Anthony secretly follows behind to make sure he's alright. In the church Benedict has a complete breakdown, railing against god for all his unanswered prayers. Then he takes out a knife and goes to slit his wrists. Anthony runs in and stops him and Benedict crumples, sobbing into his brother's shoulder. He can't live without love. If he can't find Sophie in this world, he wants to look for her in the next one.

Anthony reminds him that he doesn't live without love. He has the love of his family and that is just as sacred. He confides to Benedict that the love of their family was the only thing that pulled him through the loss of their father. This reaches Benedict and he agrees to try and move forward. They keep the whole incident secret from the rest of the family and Anthony never leaves his brother's side for the next several weeks until he is satisfied Benedict can safely go out in the world again. Benedict gets an invitation to Phillip Cavender's party out in the country and Anthony encourages him to go - get out of London, get some fresh air and have fun. Benedict agrees. And we all know what fateful meeting will happen there…

I realized after I thought of this that it has Romeo and Juliet/Twilight: New Moon vibes. It's a classic for a reason I suppose 🤷‍♀️ Thank you for inviting me to dip a toe into some serious angst! Hopefully this isn't too traumatizing 😬💙

[spiritsoulandbody]

#DailyDevotion Don't Give The LORD A Reason To Call You A Fat Cow

#DailyDevotion Don't Give The LORD A Reason To Call You A Fat Cow Amos 4 Listen to this, you cows of Bashan on the hill of Samaria, oppressing the poor and crushing the needy and telling your husbands, “Bring it and let’s drink.” 2The Lord GOD has sworn by His holiness: “Certainly the days will come on you when you will be taken away with hooks, and the last of you with fishhooks. 3Each of you will go out straight ahead through the break in the wall, and you will be sent away to Harmon,” says the LORD. The LORD our God certainly has a way with words. The land of Bashan was given to the tribes of Israel who mainly raised cattle. The land was very rich and so the cattle ate quite well. They were the wagyu beef of the day. The LORD is calling the women of Samaria, particularly the wealthy ones fat cows. They are particularly fat at the expense of the widow, the fatherless, the foreigners, the priests and the rest of the poor. They tell their husbands, “Bring it and let's drink.” Oh my! As Cindy Lauper once said, “Girls just want to have fun.” Their happiness is all that matters to them no matter the cost or harm done to others. The LORD accuses them of oppressing the poor and the needy. We conservative Christians really need to take note of this. We who don't want the government involved in welfare programs, mainly because we know their systems are abused and are full of waste, must be liberal in our own lives and in and with the Church—particularly our congregations. The LORD our God has not given us more than we need for the day to hoard it to ourselves. While the Israelites had laws concerning the poor, compelling the Israelites to gather funds for them, we in all Christian freedom, who have been freed from the constraints of the Law, should feel the joy the LORD wants to give us by acting like Him as He is toward us—grace, mercy, peace, steadfast love, and forgiveness (the name of Jesus Ex. 34:6). When we withhold our hands from giving to those in need, who beg and the like, we are oppressing those people. We might not be able to help every person we meet, particularly in the cities where there are 10, 20, sometime 30 or more sitting there begging. But you can extend your hand to one and make sure s/he eats that day. You can make sure homeless kitchens are financed. There of course are numerous groups that buy kids shoes, coats, and provide weekend backpacks for kids who have nothing over the weekend because their parents spend all their money on drugs. If your church doesn't have a benevolence fund for the pastor to help people who come to the church, start one. He hates having to turn people away. Rarely do any of these people ever have a nice car. And don't forget the people especially in your own congregation. Remember, it was mostly fellow Israelites whom these women were getting fat on. There should not be one single member of your congregation who lacks adequate food, proper clothing, and shelter for the day. There are some people who have long periods of need. Perhaps it is some inadequacy of intelligence, education, or who knows, the congregation, and that means you individually, are called to help that person or family. Hear the judgment of the LORD towards these fat cows! He swears by Himself since there is nothing higher. He is going to rip them from their comfortable positions and be carried off by the Assyrians. We should take heed lest our LORD Jesus Christ rips us from our comfortable positions because we are not personally liberal to those in need. God has shown His liberalness to us in His Son Jesus Christ who died for the sins of the world. Go and do likewise. Heavenly Father, You have bestowed upon us such great grace and mercy in Christ Jesus. Grant us a graceful and merciful heart to those in need. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Read the full article

[the-hem]

"Meru." From the Gopala-Tapaniya Upanishad “The Exploration of the Mysteries of the Ascetic Cowherd.”

Now we find a curious reference to Seven Cities, very likely the same mentioned in the Torah, except there they are called the Seven Days or Seven Laws.

The Laws were born right after the god Brahma, the creator was made by Vishnu whose name means pervasive consciousness. The text says Brahma sprang from Vishnu’s heart meaning creation is an act of benevolence and operates based on certain intimate affectionate principals. As soon as animals and men become desperate and sacrifice their affection for the sake of survival the laws of creation are violated and creation will fold. As the text says, all sane persons seek and maintain law and order for the sake of protecting those by whom that are affected.

We are too warped for this, however. We have allowed sickos and weirdoes access to our lives and the entire planet is paying the price of desperation because they were not dealt with swiftly:

29. He said: In the beginning only Lord Narayana existed. In Him the material worlds are woven as thread on a loom. From His lotus heart the demigod Brahma was born.

30. When Brahma performed severe austerities, Lord Narayana granted him a boon.

31. Brahma chose a question.

 32. Lord Narayana granted his request.

33-34. Brahma said: Among Your many incarnations, which is the best, the one that makes humans and demigods happy, the one that, remembering Him, they become liberated from repeated birth and death? Why is this incarnation the best?

35. Lord Narayana said:

36. As on the summit of Mount Meru are seven cities that fulfil all desires, so on the Earth are seven cities that fulfil desires and grant liberation. Among them the city of Gopala Puri is directly the spiritual world.

37. In this city the desires of the demigods and all other creatures are all fulfilled and everyone attains liberation.

Meru which is the same thing as Sinai in the Torah is Hebrew for "memories of merits."

"The noun μερος (meros) means share, part or portion. It ultimately derives from a vast Proto-Indo-European root "(s)mer-", which is traditionally presented as having two separate branches:

(s)mer- I, meaning to remember or care for, hence the Latin noun memoria and thus our English word "memory", and

(s)mer- II, meaning to assign or allot, hence the Latin verb mereo, to deserve, and thus the English words "merit" and "emeritus"."

At the top of Meru is Gopala Pur, "the purification of the demigod."

The goal of the journey of man up the mountain in the Upanishads is the same as in the Torah and other religion, to put an end to tryrants and fucktards and the conditions that spawn them and liberate society and nature from unnecessary suffering.

Bullshit crappers like Dick Cheney and Donald Trump, the Pope, and those Hamas freaks, they do not belong here. Their animal man behavior is repugnant and it is objectionable that so many people are miserable, dead or dying because of them given the otherwise natural beauty of this world. I do not feel Kamala Harris or her former Administration took these prospects as seriously as they could have and the public should pressure her to source the country of all traces of the Republican Party and its filth.

The entire planet is a mess because of us and we must employ the merits of the law and liberate it from the consequences of our Tamas. The Republicans and fundamentalists have taken cues from this that their behaviors are all right, and have fun amok, enforcing their religion wherever they feel the whim.

I am so eager to return the favor, to unleash the god of justice and bring Him down the Mountain, right to their doorsteps.