#he has to act like hes already seen her like that before but internally he is DYING

[mariatesstruther]

everyone look at this very important picture of gabriel and smaranda luna

[topzsun]

TO FIND YOU

── ♡ SATAN

you held no ill will towards lilith. all she had done was exist. that doesn't stop others from warping their perception of you. luckily, satan understands how you feel.

His world began with the scent of copper and scorching heat that nipped at his skin. Yours began in the arms of your mother and the fluorescent light of the hospital room. He was bathed in blood that was not his own whilst you were dressed in warm, cotton gowns. His father mourned not for his birth, but for the loss of someone of greater importance than him. Yours will kiss your chubby cheeks and hold your tiny clenched fists.

Your beginnings couldn’t be any more different. However, that will not change the antecedent of your and Satan’s existence. Lilith, a woman neither of you met, but suddenly became the forefront in your and Satan’s minds. Belphegor’s attack, your ancestry and the proceeding actions of the brothers muddy the sight behind your eyelids. Your late-night contemplations end up coinciding with Satan’s when you both catch each other in the act of making chamomile tea. You wonder what would have happened if you had never gone to the kitchen that night, never knowing of the identical internal strife Satan would be having.

He told you that after the incident, thoughts of Lilith have also begun to plague him. You take in the defeat in his tone and launch into rambles of your own because if Satan is beginning to peek over the emotional wall he has made, you will have to break it down on your own. You tell him she doesn’t threaten you, a ghost who hadn’t existed to you before this week. You know you are still you, you are just afraid of that day you will no longer be considered that by his brothers.

He listened to you quietly, sipping on his tea, and once you were done you finally took a long look at him. Satan is a gorgeous demon, beauty touched by something beyond your understanding. No human man can compare to him because humans are decorated by flaws, scars and history. Demons are above earthly qualities like that. Yet, when you take in the dimness of Satan’s emerald eyes and how he tilts his head back to rest it against the headboard you begin to see it. The weight that strains his shoulders, and the mask he meticulously puts on. You are reminded that even he can share the burden of overthinking and late-night worries with you.

He tells you of his childhood (“If I can even call it that,” He scoffs). His birth marked the end of Lilith, and when he was first brought home in Lucifer’s bleeding arms, there was no denying the role he had already been dressed into. It was a sick joke, he thinks, to have been born so similar to Lilith with golden hair and eyes the colour of dew-covered grass. He recalls to you how Beelzbebub and Belphegor could barely look him in the eyes, how Asmodeus attempted to falsely dote on him because he never really saw him but his baby sister, of how Lucifer would meet his gaze as if he’s seen a ghost.

“But I was not her. I never could be,” He tells you firmly, eyes steely as if wanting to make this fact clear to you as well. He didn’t need to. You know very well he’s Satan, a tired Satan who's sitting on your bed with you and nursing his tea like a lifeline. He is intelligent, cunning, multitalented, someone who has trouble wearing his heart on his sleeve but the diehard romantic in him wishes he could. Lilith was bluntly honest, unconditionally kind, brimmed with curiosity and tended to make herself seen wherever she went. You don’t need to list these differences for Satan to know he couldn’t be her replacement, and she could never replace the role he’s built in this house either. As if reading your mind, the blonde smiles wryly.

“I know what I am,” and as if to say “You know what you are too”, Satan taps his fingers three times on the exposed skin of your arm. His eyes are rounded in affection, and you can’t bite back your sheepish smile either.

Things will be okay.

[i-yap]

hi!! could you write for tim with a reader that just gets him. like they both understand each other, dont have to communicate (verbally at least) to know how the other is feeling. also, she works at damian’s school as an intern/assistant for an art teacher (and brings her pet to school every day. maybe it’s a more exotic animal that piques damian’s interest.). so her and damian are close before tim introduces them (which he really didnt want to do LMAO. he probably let it slip that he was dating someone and now all his brothers want to meet them) so now every time you’re at wayne manor damian barges into tims room to tell you to hang out with him instead. basically fluffy tim x reader with platonic damian. sorry this was a long ask… 😭💞

I love this ask so much!

Tim drake x y/n x platonic! damian

y/n has a gecko as a pet named fluffy ( ik gecko's arent fluffy)

you prolly brought fluffy as an optional muse for your students. And since you are an art teacher at such a prestigious school means you are an amazing artist so damian for sure has a lot of respect for you.

in a couple comics its mentioned that dami is a loner at school so a loner art kid who loves animals hits close to home for you. You guys start bonding really strongly and for once dami has an adult figure who isn't cold as ice or hates his guts ( at least pretend hate) . You become his Didi (I'm indian and I couldn't find the proper arabic term for older sister so I'm just using hindi term for older sister aka didi).

Now when Tim finally opens up about the whole batfamily and how he is like "adopted brother" sort of to Damian, and the whole dynamics between the batfam, you are a little worried. Tim probably has seen you interact with Dami and realized how close you guys are ( dami didn't stab you when you patted his head)

Tim wants to keep you away from the whole batfam , maybe he tells alfred but nothing beyond that. He says its for your safety and he doesn't want you involved in such dangerous vigilante work but it's also because he wants to keep you to himself and being an rich single child...he sucks at sharing .

But nothing remain hidden in a family of detectives and ofc everyone finds out that tim has a secret girlfriend .

Damian probably invited you over to the manor a couple times because you are one of his favorite persons and he wanted to show you his art work or his pets. Everytime you came over, Tim obviously acted like an idiot. Sneaky ( but not sneaky enough glances), innuendos, inside jokes and secretly pulling you away for a mini "tour " of the manor even though Dami insisted he has already shown you everything(non batman related). Maybe everyone found out you were dating when you guys got caught on one of your tours? Damian for sure chased Tim with one of his Katanas till you stepped in.

Damian also doesn't know how to share- rich single child

since the batfam already knew you so well, you were over much more but ofc tim expected it to be for him. He is the boyfriend , the love of your life so why is damian getting your attention huh? Why are you doing an art challenge with dami when there are other more fun "challenges" you could be doing with tim?? WHY ARE YOU WATCHING A DUMB ASS FILM WITH DAMI WHEN YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING DUMBASS FILM WITH TIM?

to be fair, tim does love watching the soft motherly-ish side of you( makes him wanna give you more kids that steal your attention from him) But babyboy wants his cuddles and how dare you deny him of that. you think you are being fair and you are really good at reading tim's feelings so you are able to tell when he needs you attention and therefore excuse yourself politely from damian.

But one day tim is just feeling extra needy and damian and you are in a middle of an activity. you give him a look saying you'll come to him as soon as this activity is over but tim has no patience that day so he just runs into the room, throws you over his shoulder and runs away to his room and locks it. He has installed strong wind blowing thingie so when dami tries chasing him, he just turns the wind blowing things and he cant come close to the door. It then becomes a whole ass hiest while the rest of the batfam just watches and eats popcorn. you obviously have to step in AGAIN.

So you divide up a schedule and ground rules, (steph helps you dw), both tim and dami complain but you just give them both a look and they accept their fate.

Tim likes how much closer you have gotten to his family and damian likes the idea that you guys could actually become sort of related once you marry tim. The rest of the batfam love you ofc but they also love that fact that tim and dami don't try to kill each other( at least not as much as before) because of you. so it all works out( sort of)

I havnt gone exactly by the request and Ive changed up some stuff, I hope that's okay.

[evanpeterswhoresblog]

Office Secrets

Luke Cooper x f!reader

TW: smut, p in v, unprotected, fingering… lmk if there’s anything else lol

Word count: 1526

Friendly note, I wrote this all in one day so it’s probably not the best but I’ve been so obsessed w Evan lately I just needed to write lol Enjoy!!!

~~~

“So, who wants to bet the two newbies are doing it?” Meredith says as she puts coins into one of the vending machines.

“They so are,” Kevin says. “Have you seen the way they look at each other it’s like- Pam and Jim.”

“Hey!”

Angela shakes her head. “You people are disgusting… but I wouldn’t doubt it. I’ve seen them flirting on multiple occasions.”

“This is all circumstantial, it doesn’t mean they’re sleeping together,” Oscar argues.

“I would bet they are,” Phillas says with a laugh. “I mean I remember how fun it was being all secret with Bob, it’s so thrilling.”

Pam glances at you in the annex, Luke’s leaning back on your desk, smiling as you two talk. She looks back to the group and shrugs. “It’s possible they are.”

~~~

“Hey y/n, do you think you could make some copies for me?” Pam asks as you’re walking by.

“Yeah of course, double or single sided?” You reply with a smile.

“Double please.” She hands you the original.

You walk to the copier, but as you’re about to open it, Luke slips in front of you.

“Luke I was about to make copies,” you say, annoyed.

“So do I, you aren’t the only person in the office who needs to get stuff done,” he laughs.

“Since when have you ever had things to get done? You’re the laziest person here.”

“That’s hostile,” he replies, turning around to give you a smirk. “I might have to report you to HR.”

“Just please hurry up,” you mumble.

“Anything for you babe.” He winks.

You turn to the camera and stare, almost at your limit with this boy.

~~~

“I just don’t understand men sometimes it’s like, he’s so different when we’re alone yet in public he wants to be the biggest ass ever,” you rant to the camera, you’re in the hallway near the elevator where no one will hear you. “Sometimes I just want to knee him in the balls and get on with my day.”

“If he’s so annoying why do you sleep with him?”

You frown. “He’s really good at that stuff, most assholes are honestly.”

~~~

You’re at the vending machine getting a snack when you feel arms snake around your waist. You quickly turn around and push him away.

“Luke stop it we can’t be doing this here,” you whisper.

He looks out the windows then back at you. “Nobody’s around, come on just one kiss. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since last night baby.”

You and Luke were hired about three weeks ago now, both just interns to help out with the little things around the office. At first you thought Luke was an idiot slack off, but after a week of him constantly flirting with you, you decided he wasn’t that bad of a guy and of course he’s gorgeous. And, after one night where he gave you a ride home this simple work crush turned into casual sex.

You made Luke promise to keep it a secret, you didn’t want anyone at the office to think your personal life would interfere with you doing your job. So, far you don’t think anyone has figured it out, and your glad.

“Don’t talk like that here,” you say, giving him a slight glare. “We made a deal.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I’m serious Luke, imagine if Michael found out. He’d make it a whole thing.”

“It probably already is a thing, Jim and Pams was.”

You scoff at him. “Okay, that doesn’t mean this has to be.”

“Whatever,” he says as he begins to walk away. “See you later.”

You give an annoyed look to the camera and shake your head before returning to your previous activity.

~~~

“Listen, y/n is a good girl I guess, I just wish she’d stop acting like the office finding out about our thing is the worst possibility imaginable,” Luke tells the crew outside the break room.

“What do you think would happen if they found out?”

“I don’t know, they’d give us weird looks. It doesn’t really matter it’s not like me and her are gonna be working here forever. At least I know I’m not, not sure what her life plans are.”

~~~

You stare at the clock and sigh, still a whole nother hour left at the office. This whole day has been terrible, mostly due to Luke. You don’t understand why he’s acting so annoying today. Usually he’s decent toward you, probably because of what he wants from you the second work ends. You turn back to your desk and start to organize papers, deciding Luke isn’t important.

A few have passed when Luke appears beside you. He leans back on your desk, one of his hands gripping the edge. You try to ignore him, keeping your attention on the stack of paper you’ve been messing with. Luke doesn’t let you ignore him forever though.

“Can you come with me somewhere where we can speak privately… away from the cameras.”

You look up at him. Is this it? Is he really going to break it off at work? You can’t believe it. You want to give him a piece of your mind, so you slightly nod and get up, following him out of the annex and down the hall to one of the stock rooms. You’re ready to start giving it to him but before you can he smashes his lips on yours.

At first, you’re caught off guard, he’s never kissed you at work before. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back however. He backs you up till the back of your legs hit a spare desk. You let him guide you onto it, your kiss turning into something more.

He bites down on your lip, his hands roaming up and down the sides of your body. You have to admit, you’d been craving this too. Even though you saw each other last night. Luke was the best you’d ever had, how were you supposed to not want him again? Even though he’s been annoying you all day you can’t help but melt into the palm of his hand, he’s just so damn attractive.

“Luke, we can’t do this at work,” you whisper, the sensible part of you taking over.

“Nobody will know, come on baby, I’ve been thinking of you all day. I need you,” he replies.

Your stomach fills with butterflies at his words. He knows exactly how to persuade you. You fall back on the desk as he kisses down your neck, Your legs wrap around his waist, he makes you feel so good. He brings his lips back up to yours as one of his hands starts to slip up your skirt and under your panties.

He starts to rub small circles on your clit; you to moan into his mouth. He smirks against your mouth. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer, you love the feeling of his body against yours. It’s the best you’ve ever felt.

“You’re already so wet baby,” he mumbles on your lips.

“Luke,” you moan.

“Do you want it baby?”

You nod, moving one of your hands down to rub the bulge in his pants. He grins at you and removes his fingers, beginning to undo his belt and fly. In seconds you feel his tip brushing against your entrance. He leans back over you as he begins to slowly thrust inside of you. You bite down on your lip and close your eyes, the familiar feeling of him filling you taking over.

You throw your head back as he starts fucking you. The sound of the desk hitting the wall doesn’t even register in your head. You’re too engulfed in how good Luke’s dick feels inside you, hitting that special spot that makes your legs shake. His head rests in the crook of your neck, he’s moaning and whispering all the dirty things he wants to do to you. It’s all too good to be true.

Eventually though, you feel that tightening in your stomach, your orgasm approching. Luke must realize this because he doesn’t stop his violent thrusts for even a second. You hold on to him tightly, biting down on his clothed shoulder as you finally cum. He finishes with you, pushing himself so far inside you he’s hitting your cervix.

He lays on you for a few seconds before pulling himself up enough to look down at you. His chest is still heaving as he speaks in a soft voice, “I really like you y/n.”

“I really like you too Luke,” you say with a weak smile.

Both of you get yourselves decent fast, you’ve been away for at least fifteen minutes by now. You give Luke one last kiss before exiting the small room alone, he promised to wait a minute or too before following.

As you sit at your desk and resume your previous activities, Luke walks by you, sending a quick wink before disappearing into the main office. You give a small stare into one of the cameras, your face turning bright red. This was only the beginning.

[linktotheheart]

I feel like so many people misunderstand BOTW/TOTK Link especially (Zelda too, but that's another topic entirely)

His lack of expressiveness IS a personality trait. It's a direct result of the pressure on his soldiers to be a perfect soldier, hero, and savior. No, he's not Skyward Sword Link, and never will be, because his story is completely different.

"But [other Link] hugged Zelda when he got her back!" and this Link maintained a respectful distance as his princess's subordinate - but ALSO out of respect for Zelda as a person, because she spent her whole childhood having her agency denied and he wants to let her initiate even something as simple as platonic contact whenever possible. He's being kind!

(And yes, I know that primarily only the "he is a knight and she is a princess" part is directly supported in the actual game, but I'll remind the people making comparisons that the dynamic was COMPLETELY different in their favorite comparison game, Skyward Sword. But also... look at the gentleness with which Link interacts with Zelda, the tenderness that he shows so few other characters - Mipha probably being the closest example. Look at the way he looks to her first to see what to do in every scene they're in together, unless he's protecting her from an immediate threat to her life. Notice how outside of that, Zelda IS usually the one to initiate any physical contact)

I also personally hate it when people describe quiet, not very expressive people as "lacking personality" because... my partner IRL is like that. If she expressed herself at all around most people, it's in a very flat, reserved way. I've seen how it hurts her that people treat her like she doesn't have a personality, like she isn't even a full person - and I know that's real life and Zelda is fiction, but come on, do you think all the people that aren't highly expressive and extroverted don't hear that about very popular characters and internalize it?

Being reserved is a personality trait. Being cautious and not impulsive is a personality trait. In fact, I'd even say just because you as an expressive, extroverted person see Link as a blank slate to project your own personality onto, doesn't mean he actually is or was even intended that way.

(I also think this is a very US-centric point of view, honestly. There's plenty of cultures where even BOTW Link would be considered at least close to average - Finnish culture specifically comes to mind, even if he's still slightly exaggerated in that regard as, y'know, a character.)

Idk, this is as much a silly little vent post as anything, it's not that serious, etc, but whatever

(and don't get me started on "oh Zelda got no agency in TOTK and she learned the powers she was struggling overnight". No, it's called a time skip, and just because she learned her powers before the 13th hour this time - which yeah, she would get them easier this time with a mentor who could actually use the same powers, and having already learned to use her light powers - doesn't mean it just "happened overnight". And... she didn't express agency? She was actively influencing the entire flow of the timeline, changing the actions of her ancestors by convincing her ancestors to act, learning to control her powers and fighting Ganondorf, and finally expressing the ultimate form of autonomy in choosing to sacrifice herself to save the world. Some of the criticisms of TOTK didn't even seem to play the same game. Just because a heroine isn't a pop feminist badass who *gasp* wears pants and easily and perfectly kicks every villain's ass, doesn't mean she "has no agency" and is being sidelined. Like, a princess engaging in courtly politics is neither powerless nor "doing nothing")

[phoenixblaze1412]

can i request a fem reader who has a terrible moodswing during her period? i couldn't help but imagine dottore getting yelled at by reader because of her mood hehe, also, how will dottore handle the situation?

-🧊

Code Red.

Every segment knows of this. An event that happens every month and usually lasts for a week. Yes, their darling's monthly period pain.

Dottore is already aware of it. He was the one who made the code after all.

He would already have the medicine and painkillers that you may need to help suppress those cramps you have to endure. Ibuprofen, naproxen, aspirin and the like. All prepared and organised in a certain shelf titled 'For Pain/Cramps' just in case needed.

Ah, ah, ah. You are not eating various sugary treats or those cravings you want. The only treat you can consume is dark chocolate. Dottore explained that said product has magnesium that can also help alleviate your pain. Doctor's orders after all.

Dottore usually wouldn't be bothered when others would scream at him. But hearing your voice curse and yell at him would make him flinch. He knows it's part of your mood swings and it's normal but sometimes he would be overthinking some of the words you would say until you had to force it outta him during your post-period state.

If Dottore is busy in his laboratory or on a mission while you're on your period, he would send some of his segments to take care of you.

Dottore made sure to write a list of things needed for you and to take note of your mood swings because each emotion or reaction you show has various meanings that the segment has to understand to be able to handle the situation.

The segments, mostly the younger ones during Dottore's pre-fatui era, would be panicking over you. They read the notes given to them, yes. But did they understand? Absolutely not. They haven't taken care of you like this before but they were the ones ordered by Dottore himself to take care of you since they were available.

The segments even suggested of immediately putting you in the operating room right when they saw the blood staining your sheets and coming from down there. They thought that one of your organs must have popped and could require medical treatment immediately.

Dottore had to step in and rescue you right after Omega informed him that you were about to have surgery just because of some measly blood. He couldn't blame his segments for being so idiotic, he once thought you had an internal bleeding that he didn't examined carefully when he first found out about your period.

After that incident, he decided to hold a small meeting between himself and his segments and informed them of your monthly pain. He made sure the segments don't even bother to think of trying anything else to fix you other than follow the instructions he laid out when your menstrual cycle arrives.

Dottore may have forgot to inform them about the mood swings.

Later on, he found his segments sulking in the corner of your room with a hurt look plastered across their faces.

"..never have I seen a woman become so scary..."

"I blame you for this, Gamma."

"I didn't do anything! I was only giving her the medicine! Besides, Epsilon was supposed to bake treats for her."

"She already ate them all!"

"Enough of your chatter and stand up. She's acting like that because of her mood swings. It's part of her monthly cycle. So stop whining and get to work."

Yes, Dottore wrote down every little thing needed to do whenever you had your period but he left out a certain thing. Affections.

Any simple act of physical affection that he would initiate is already enough to keep you stable. From cuddles to forehead and cheek kisses all the way to whispering sweet words into your ear is enough to stop your mood swings from going haywire.

He wouldn't let his other segments know about it, just because they're him from different time periods doesn't mean he would let them give you affections. How ironic of him to be jealous of himself.

Nonetheless, when it comes to you, you are his and his alone.

[lazywriters-blog]

SISTER's SUPPORT

Summary: A sister has gotta do what she gotta do. Slight dark undertones, implied stalking, very mild yandere behavior? But could be read as fluff or dark comedy, but questionable. Kinda dumb-

Why do I imagine Lynette being the pushy and bickering sister-in-law in support of her dear brother who hasn't cared to mention that you are partially still a stranger? And he hasn't gotten the chance to even introduce himself? But, he's a little shy and head over heels and implementing subtle tactics to bring you in.

"Do you care for a trick?"

You've heard it before, and though you never believed in magic or magicians you turned around to see the young man bowing his hat, a hand behind his back, and an elegant posture.

Magicians are but clever in deceiving and trickery, concealment, and whatnot. You could list a few more.

However, in favor of answering his voice, you speak up, "Oh no, thank you." The least you could do was smile and walk away, and you were going to until he stepped an inch and insisted, "Please just one trick?" he pleaded with his eyes this time.

You looked away, dealing with persistent people never went well in your case so you nodded, and he grinned big. Sighing and whining internally, you fold your arms and watch him reveal the insides of his hat, you've seen it done many times.

"Don't blink!" he playfully cautioned.

You dare not.

He examined you for a brief moment then pulled out a picture from the empty hat, and quickly handed it to you with a wide smile. You had been expecting a rose or something that symbolizes passion, or love. But not what you were seeing.

A hazy picture of black and white with a figure whose face resembled a ghost. It was an eerie sight to witness first thing in the morning.

"What... What is this?"

"Oh, did I hand you the wrong one?" he feigned innocence leaning over and taking a peek, "Oops!! My apologies, even magicians make mistakes!!" he exclaimed, stealing the picture out of her hand and replacing it with a ticket instead.

"As an apology, please accept this free ticket to my magic show this evening, I would love to see you there!" and then, he vanished into the alleyway.

You did not give much thought to the incident and went on your day, the ticket at the bottom of your pocket forgotten and missed. Cruel or sad may it be, you had no business being someplace you didn't want to.

It would have stopped there normally.

But it didn't...

"Oh!! Hello there!" It was his voice again you heard on the streets, he wasn't alone this time, "I must have freaked you out with my wrong trick, I figured that's why you didn't come to my show." Faking ignorance seemed harsh so you ceased your doing and glanced at the twins, you wanted it to be swift and stress-free.

"Not really, I was busy with work and I'm not a fan of crowds, Sorry I couldn't attend it." his sister had been staring long and fiercely, an odd sibling you assumed and acted, "I hear it was marvelous, the show you put up, people are still talking about it."

"You liar." That's the first thing you heard from his sister standing by his side, glaring and throwing knives into your chest, not literally but your heart did skip a few beats.

And strangely, it seemed to agitate the magician more than you. "Ha-ahaha! She just likes to tell jokes, don't mind her!"

"Oh... Uh, I see."

The conversation had turned sour, and none of you spoke a word or met eyes if it hadn't been for the young man, you would have been stuck in the silence for much longer.

"Um... We were heading to get dessert, you should come with us." he offered, friendly-toned and cautious of how he was being viewed, Despite the kind suggestion, you would rather decline than take harmless risks.

"Thanks... But--"

"Just shut up and come with us already. You have nothing to do tonight we know."

"Lynette!!"

If the earlier comment hadn't affected you, it did now. Sadly for you, his sister wasn't done yet and took a step forward to point an accusing finger at you, as if you had gone and killed someone dear to her and laughed it off in her face.

"Do you even know how sad my brother was when you didn't come to his show? You should be sorry for what you're doing to him! Why are you causing him pain?!"

Perhaps, asking for no trouble invited it instead.

"You torment him with your moody strikes! And you have the guts to ignore him! How dare you tear apart my brother's heart and act as if you're this kind lady who doesn't hurt-"

"Lynette!!!" Confusion couldn't dare to describe how you were feeling, the scene looked like a family quarrel, and you weren't even a part of it.

You felt like a wife scolded by her sister-in-law. Would saying anything work to quell the tension brewing in the air or even the eyes watching them? If you had to make a bet, the people were having the time of their lives watching the drama unveil.

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure I follow... I've never really talked to your brother-"

"You're coming with us!!" The only thing left for her to do was drag you there herself, that would be humiliating.

"Alright."

You felt like a part of the family alright.

[zepskies]

Being Human – Part 1

Pairing: Alec McDowell x F. Reader

Summary: Your life made sense before Alec slipped his way in. He unravels your threads without even trying. He frustrates you as easily as he weasels back into your good graces. But you soon realize that this man is worth the challenge.

AN: This is technically my first Dark Angel story, since I wrote Part 1 of this before "Bullseye." It will be four parts. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Summary: You’ve managed to keep things playful and friendly with Alec so far, despite his flirtatious nature. But when he asks you for a favor that goes painfully awry, the transgenic has to figure out something that wasn’t in his training: how to apologize. [Set during 2.06]

Word Count: 5,000

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Tension, angst, spiciness, implied smut.

💜 Series Masterlist

Part 1: Training Day

As sad as it is, this is probably your favorite place in the world.

Crash is as divey as a dive bar can get. And yet, it still boasts the strongest, cheapest drinks in Seattle. The music is decent, and the company is good. At least tonight it is, because you’ve met up with Max, Original Cindy, and Sketchy after a long day of slinging packages.

The only problem?

The newest member of Jam Pony, slinking up from the corner of your eye and easing into the seat next to you at the bar.

You turn an expectant gaze to Alec McDowell and his flirtatious green eyes. They take in your jeans and halter top with an obvious perusal. 

“Can I help you?” you ask dryly.

“No, no. It’s what I can do for you,” he replies. You’re about to roll your eyes when he adds, “Let me buy you a beer. Or whatever you’re drinking.”

Just then, the bartender slides you the beer you’ve already ordered. You thank him and give Alec a smile.

“Got it covered, thanks,” you reply, sipping the froth off your drink.

Alec sighs and crosses his arms. “When are you gonna stop putting the freeze on me?”

“When I’m not part of your internal checklist of Breasts on Legs,” you retort. Glancing around the bar, you note three other girls you’ve already seen him shoot his shot with tonight.

Alec scoffs and holds his chest.

“That’s hurtful,” he claims. “It really is.”

But he shifts toward you in his seat, cutting off your smile. Your face warms at his proximity.

Damn, he smells good, you think.

“Besides,” he says, “I always save the best for last.”

His smile makes your heart beat faster, though you eye him wryly. He opens his smartass mouth to say something else, but you get a reprieve when Original Cindy slides into the seat on your other side. She tosses you a wink.

It gives you just enough confidence to smirk in Alec’s face.

“Keep trying. Maybe someday I’ll lose my mind,” you say, with a teasing raise of brows.

Alec is still amused as he shakes his head. “You’re unbelievable. Insulting, yet, still somehow endearing.”

“Don’t wanna get clowned, don’t act like a clown,” you tell him sweetly. 

“I know that’s right,” Cindy quips. She orders a Cosmo to upgrade her beer. She must’ve won a bet tonight, if she was able to score enough cash for liquor.

“Hilarious,” Alec says. He pouts a little. “Hey, I’m not some mongrel on the loose. I’m just looking for some honest companionship.”

“Honest?” you laugh. “Now that’s hilarious.”

He gives you a fake laugh, but he watches you go when you slip away from him to join Max and Sketchy in the back room by the pool table. Alec’s smile fades a little.

Cindy raises a brow at him, along with a tan finger.

“No,” she says. “You actually crushin’ on homegirl? For real?”

Alec glances at her. “Where’d you get that idea?”

She gives him a flat look.

“Should I burn some sage?” she asks.

Alec shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

“Come on. I think Max is calling us over.”

When the two of them venture over to where you and Max are playing a game of pool, Alec’s cocky smile is back. His eyes catch yours when he sits down at a nearby table. Your lips curve while you lean on your pool cue.

For the past few weeks, this is how it’s always been with you and Alec. Push and pull. A sort of caustic flirtation that you can’t in good conscience take seriously. But to his credit, he always tries.

And he seems to always mean it. 

You’ll never admit it, but it’s getting harder and harder for you to resist the pull of him. He’s clearly a guy who doesn’t do attachments, and you have a bad habit of getting attached. Your life is hard enough without adding a dash of heartbreak into the mix.

So Max helps you sharpen your skills at this game while you finish your beer. And…maybe you “unintentionally” tease Alec a little with the curve of your ass when you’re bent over the table, lining up a shot.

In fairness, you’re a bit tipsy.

You spend the rest of the night drinking two more beers and laughing and losing the game—first to Max, then to Alec, and finally to Sketchy. By then, you know it’s time to cut your losses.

You haul your backpack onto your shoulder and start to head out of the bar. But who should slip into your way than Alec freakin’ McDowell?

“Hey, I’ve got a quick question for you,” he says.

You sigh. “Alec, the usual sniping was fun, but I’m tired and I want to go home.”

He stops you with a touch on your arm. He seems slightly more serious.

“It’s a favor,” he says, pulling out a small rectangular package wrapped in plain brown paper. You look down at it in confusion.

“I saw on the work chart that you’re scheduled to go over to Sector 4 tomorrow,” he says. “Would you mind delivering this for me?”

Your brows raise at him. He raises $20 in front of your face.

“I’ll make it worth your while,” he smiles.

You take the $20 and the package, though you’re still a little uncertain.

“What’s in it?”

Alec leans in close to your ear. “I’ll give you an extra $10 if you don’t ask.”

His voice washes over you and makes your skin prickle. You’re blushing, but your eyes narrow at him further.

“Make it $20,” you counter.

He scoffs. Though after a moment…he coughs up the extra cash.

“The most expensive damn delivery I’ve never made,” he mutters.

You have to crane your neck a bit, as he stands over a head taller than you, but you smile up at him brightly.

“Pleasure doing business with you,” you say.

For him, maybe the expense was worth it to get that smile.

You pull up on your bike to what you think is the right address. You don’t usually come to this side of town, even in Sector 4.

It feels a bit like a shanty town and a meat packing district all at once—complete with dodgy-looking street vendors and unmarked vans loading and unloading cargo behind them. 

“Can I help you, little girl?”

You stifle a gasp as your path is suddenly obstructed. A black man and his two white friends have crowded around your bike, but they don’t look normal. Various metal spikes and prods protrude from their faces, neck, and body, but they’re not your typical piercings. The metal is fused into their skin.

Oh shit, you think, as your heartrate picks up. Steelheads.

“I’m just making a delivery,” you tell them. Your eyes dart to your surroundings, trying to catch anyone’s gaze for a little help.

But in big cities like this, everyone knows to keep their eyes down.

Don’t look, don’t tell. Don’t get any trouble.

“I think you might be lost, love,” says one of the other men. He’s British, by the sound of his accent, and is the taller of the two. His skin is pale, though there’s a red ring under his eyes that suggests drugs, or whatever else these three are injecting into themselves.

“Uhh, yeah. I must be. I’ll just go,” you nod, and you start to back up. The ringleader Brit clamps a bony hand on your bike to stop you. He grabs the scrap of paper Alec gave you, which holds the address for your intended delivery.

The Steelhead examines it lazily, before his gaze flicks back up to yours.

“Well, well. I stand corrected,” he says. He gestures to the small package in your hands. “What’s in it?”

You shrug and try to play off your ignorance. Because the truth is, you have no idea.

“It’s not my job to know,” you reply.

“Ah, but you see, it’s our business to know,” the Brit says, leaning in towards you. You lean back with pursed lips.

“This is our little piece of paradise,” says the shortest one. His lips are damn near purple.

“We’re what you call…territorial,” says the leader. He grabs you off your bike while the first man takes the package from you.

“Hey, I don’t want any trouble,” you say, though you hate the way your voice shakes. “I can just go—”

“Oh, we’ll let you go, little mouse. You’re gonna give a message back to sender,” the Brit says. “But first, a reminder.”

He shoves you back into the nearest wall. It’s solid brick that stuns a gasp out of you. He presses in on you, grabbing your face and dragging a sharp, unnaturally long nail against your cheek, biting into the skin.

It’s painful enough to make you whimper as you feel wetness drip down to your neck. His friends laugh at your discomfort, at your fear. You’re too frozen to reach for the pepper spray in your pocket…

“What’s going on here?” another man asks. Out of the corner of your eye you spot a black uniform. For the first time in your life, you’re grateful to see a cop.

The Steelhead releases you, and the three of them are subtle in the way they back off from you.

“Nothing here, officer,” the leader says. Though he gives you a smirk. “Just accepting a delivery.”

You let them keep the package and pretend that a signature has made it onto your clipboard. You climb back onto your bike and you leave Sector 4 without looking back. All the while, your arms shake and you wipe at the blur of tears in your eyes.

When you get back to the Jam Pony base of operations (a warehouse that feels like a basement), you park your bike out front and head inside.

Your legs still feel precarious. And even though the blood is dry against the cut on your cheek, you know you need to clean and disinfect it at some point.

Of course, you have to run into Alec and Sketchy, who are palling around without a care in the world.

That all stops when they turn to look at you. Their mirth dies on their faces. Alec’s gaze runs over you and stops at your cheek. You dab at your face, tentative and self-conscious. You know you must look like hell. Of course, they can’t let you just go to your locker in peace.

“Jeez, what the hell happened to you?” Sketchy asks.

You shake your head. “Fell into a bush.”

You drag Alec aside by his arm, giving him a warning look that further lets him know you’re lying. He follows you without complaint over to the lockers, where you two have the semblance of privacy. Before he can ask you what really happened, you snap at him.

“What the hell was in that package?” you ask. “Drugs? A weapon? Some other contraband? Do you know what could’ve happened to me if I’d gotten caught with that shit? Do you know what almost…”

Tears burgeon in your eyes all over again, and you have to take a deep, shaky breath. 

Alec’s brows furrow in what might actually be concern. He grasps your arm, gentle but firm. 

“Hey, tell me what happened,” he says.

Unconsciously, his grip on your arm makes the memory flash in your mind: of that pale, greasy man grabbing you and pinning you against the wall.

You shrug out of Alec’s hold more harshly than you meant to. It makes him raise a placating hand, as his eyes widen a fraction.

“A gaggle of Steelheads,” you say. You breathe tremulously, blinking past your tears. “I was lucky…anyway. Next time you want to ask me for a favor? Don’t.”

 You brush past Alec to get to your locker. There you grab the rest of your things and head out, though it’s quite a few hours before closing time. Nothing gets by Normal, who stops you at the reception desk.

“Hey, hey, Missy! Where the hell’re you going?” he asks. “Get back here. I’ve got packages that need homes.”

“I’m taking some much needed PTO,” you quip.

“You don’t have PTO. It’s not that kind of business,” Normal says.

“Then bite me,” you snap. “How’s that?”

Most of the room stills into quiet shock. You feel the weight of their gazes, your coworkers and friends, including Normal’s slackened face.

You’re normally not one to talk back. You accept your assignments without question, not wanting to cause undue trouble for yourself. Like everyone else here, you need your job, and you have nothing to fall back on.

But it’s enough, and you’re thoroughly done with today.

Your saving grace is that it’s plain to see how shaken up you are, even when you leave. Alec approaches the receptionist desk with Sketchy, drumming his hand on the counter absently. 

“What the hell crawled up her keister?” Normal remarks. “She’s lucky I’m short staffed right now, or she’d be in the can.”

Despite his strong talk, he resumes collecting paperwork and organizing files to distract himself from how much you’d taken him aback.

Alec frowns.

“She uh, had to deal with some Steelheads,” he offers, and hesitates. “...What the hell’s a Steelhead?”

“Yeah, you know, they’re into implants and biotech stuff,” Sketchy explains.

“She would know better than to hang out with those low lives,” Normal interjects. “They’re amped off their gourds on hormones and who knows what else.”

Alec processes that with a deepening frown. He decides to head out onto his next “delivery.”

He makes it to Sector 4 on his bike within an hour, but he still envies Max’s motorcycle. When he racks up enough cash, he’s definitely scoring a faster ride.

For now, he pulls up near the address he sent you to earlier. He never should’ve given you his drugs to sell, especially when he clearly doesn’t know this city well enough yet.

Poor reconnaissance, Alec, he thinks. Sloppy.

Though when did he start to think of himself as Alec and not by his designation, 494?

He’s soon taken out of his musings when he sees a gaggle of three men outside a cargo van. Each of them is uglier than the last, with metal spikes, among other things sticking out from their bodies. Steelheads. They’ve got to be.

These are the guys who harassed you.

“Excuse me, gentlemen,” Alec says, climbing off his bike. The men turn to the newcomer with suspicious frowns.

“I’m looking for three fugly Steelheads that hassled a friend of mine this morning,” he says.

One is tall, pale and wiry, and he opens his arms wide. “Well, you found ‘em.”

He has a British accent. The sight of him alone grates on Alec, though all he shows is calm confidence. He teases the short one, who seems to be missing an arm. Apparently he’s “pre-op,” set to get a new cyber arm made of Japanese steel.

Fucking wackos, Alec thinks. Manticore could learn a thing or two from these guys about mutilation.

“Here’s the thing, fellas,” Alec says. “My friend was carrying a package that didn’t belong to her. It belonged to me. You guys took it, and I need to get it back.”

The first man scoffs. “There seems to be a breakdown in communication, doesn’t it?”

He approaches Alec, hands on his hips, with his two cronies behind him. Alec can already smell their stench from where he stands. He doesn’t need them to get any closer.

“Maybe your little bitch didn’t relay our message,” he says, pushing his luck.

Alec’s smile sharpens; a deadly warning in and of itself.

“Nobody around here sells Andy but us,” says another of them.

Androxtamine. Alec didn’t care to be a drug dealer. It was just a means to an end in order to pay Max back for her help a little while back. Now, his buyer is pissed that he didn’t get his damn drugs, and Alec is out $500.

He tries to explain that calmly to this group of weirdos, but the leader is just so damn cocky.

“What’s a puff like you need with $500 anyway, eh?” he asks.

Alec’s smirk deepens. He mimics the guy’s accent and replies, “Actually, I need it for a ride on your mum.”

Well, the Steelheads don’t take too kindly to that. They try their best, Alec will hand it to them. But his genetics and training make the resulting “fight” no more than child’s play. He takes his frustrations out of their asses.

He can’t help being slightly more brutal than necessary when he remembers the fear lingering behind your eyes. The bloody cut on your cheek. The way it could’ve been so much worse…

And it would’ve been your fault. Alec’s lips press into a line.

Logan Cale, Max’s rich non-boyfriend and secret “Eyes Only” vigilante, calls Alec halfway through his venting session to, surprisingly, ask for his help.

Alec agrees, because it’s mainly for Max. A creature has been killing cops in Seattle. Unfortunately, the description of a “man-dog” sounds way too much like Joshua, their fellow transgenic in hiding.

It also means Alec has to spend most of his afternoon in a musty sewer.

The job ends up being a bitch and a half, even when Max finally shows up to help out. The true culprit ends up being Joshua’s brother, Isaac, who Joshua is forced to stop before he kills any more policemen who remind him of Manticore’s abusive guards.

The gentle Joshua ends up having to take out his own brother. Something that’s both familiar, and foreign to Alec. (But he’s sure it’s not so foreign to Max.)

It’s a harrowing scene, and a touch too emotional for Alec’s comfort. He leaves Max to tend to Joshua in the aftermath and catches a ride home with Logan. Somehow though, as bone tired and grimy as he feels, Alec can’t feel right about going home just yet.

Something is niggling in the back of his mind, forcing him to hand Logan a scrap of paper that holds your address. (Alec might’ve snuck into Normal’s office before he left for the day to find out where you lived on your employee file.)

“Hey, can you stop at this address?” Alec asks.

Logan glances at the piece of paper and nods. He then looks over at Alec. They aren’t friends, but Logan is perceptive enough to know that something’s weighing on his passenger.

“Everything okay?” Logan asks.

“There’s something I have to do,” Alec supplies.

When they eventually arrive to what seems like an abandoned building, Logan looks over at Alec.

“Good luck,” he offers.

Alec nods gratefully. They aren’t friends, but he supposes Logan’s not so bad, even if he is a slave to Max’s supposed charms.

Alec gets out of the car and head inside the building. It’s old and dirty, and he really can’t believe you live like this. It lacks security and basic hygiene. If he wanted to, he could kick straight through your door with half of his strength.

Instead, he knocks.

A few moments later, he hears your feet padding cautiously to the door.

“Who is it?” you ask. Your voice is familiar and pleasant to his ears, if nervous.

“It’s me, Alec,” he replies.

It takes a second of your hesitation, but you unlock the door and open it.

He eyes your tank-top and shorts, the thin bra, your damp hair, the smell of your shampoo assaulting his heightened senses. 

But the jagged red line across your cheek draws his attention, along with the confusion in your eyes, and the wooden spoon in your hand. Was that supposed to be your weapon of choice? 

“What’re you doing here?” you ask. “How’d you even know where I live?”

“Ah, I told Normal I wanted to check on you. Make sure you weren’t going AWOL on the job tomorrow,” Alec says with a teasing smile.

You look a bit skeptical, but you let him in when he asks if he can. He smells whatever you’re cooking, spots the metal pot of pasta sauce simmering on the janky-looking stove, and his mouth starts to water. He’s starving, now that he thinks about it.

He then focuses on taking in the rest of the apartment…and it doesn’t take him long. This place is a shoebox.

At least it’s clean, as much as the peeling drywall can be.

“Why’re you here then?” you ask. Alec turns to see you have a hand on your hip. You’re staring at him like he’s a puzzle you’re trying to figure out.

You set down the wooden spoon on the counter and face him. Alec’s tempted to brush a stray strand of hair out of your eyes, but he keeps his arms down to his sides instead.

“About what happened today,” he says. “Those guys aren’t going to be a problem for you again.”

You tilt your head at him.

“What’d you do?” you ask with furrowed brows. “Something shy of legal?”

Alec starts to smile. “Maybe.”

You hmph in response. “Can’t say I’m surprised.”

Alec barely resists rolling his eyes, though he knows he deserves that. Once again, he takes in your apartment. It’s cozy, he supposes, if small.

“You live alone?” he asks. “No roommate? Boyfriend?”

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business,” you say dryly. “But no. To both.” 

That satisfies him, and yet there’s a little churn in his gut. This place is questionable at best. Doesn’t exactly boast decent security. He’s not too worried about the Steelheads trying to find you, but after the past few months outside of Manticore, he realizes how rough it’s become for humanity after the Pulse, especially for a woman alone.

“You could use a doorman around here,” he remarks. 

You scoff in amusement. “Yeah, well. It may not be the Ritz, but as long as the heater doesn’t crap out on me, it’s a decent day.” 

Alec doesn’t know what the Ritz is, but it sounds nicer than this dump. 

You catch the silent look of judgment on his face, making you frown and cross your arms.

“I can take care of myself just fine, okay, Dad?”

Alec frowns and gestures to your face. “Yeah. Right. You’re little miss Fight Club.”

That sparks your temper. You glare up at him with a defiant tilt to your chin.

“This,” you point to your marred cheek, “wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for you. I’m not an idiot. I don’t put myself in stupid situations, except for that one time I ignored my better judgment to help you!”

Alec glowers back at you, but he knows he doesn’t have a good defense. You take a step into his orbit and tap a finger into his chest.

“And by the way,” you add. Your voice cracks like a whip. “Whoever taught you how to apologize did a bang up job!”

By the end of your little rant, you’re breathing deeply, and Alec is barely holding onto his own temper. What cuts through it all are the frustrated tears brimming in your eyes.

He sighs internally.

They didn’t exactly cover this in training, he thinks, but he supposes that's just…Being Human 101.

All too soon, your anger dims into defensiveness. You withdraw from him and gesture to the door.

“Now if you don’t mind, please get out of my shithole apartment so I can finish cooking in peace,” you gripe.

“Wait, wait,” Alec implores, when you try to lead him out. He lets you back him up a step or two, just to seem human, but now he digs his heels in. He looks down at you with true regret. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. His hand finds your unmarred cheek, caressing softly. His thumb swipes across your skin. “I am. I shouldn't have asked you to make that delivery. I'm sorry you got hurt.”

You stare up at him, breathing labored, and making your breasts just barely brush his sternum. Your eyes search his just as much as he is yours.  

He isn’t actually sure who moves first, him or you. But when his lips meet yours, it feels like electricity under his skin. It’s magnets that are meant to connect—it’s his arms wrapping around your waist like steel bands and you grabbing his face, sinking your fingers into his sandy brown hair.

It’s teeth clicking and tongues warring as he backs you up to the kitchen counter, and he hefts you up there by your hips.

You squeal in surprise, making Alec chuckle before he swallows your sounds with his mouth.

You start to push his jacket off his shoulders, and he helps you, letting the rest of it slide right off, followed by his shirt and your tank top. His hands smooth up your bare thighs and his thumbs dip in between, squeezing near the apex of your thighs and making you tremble against his chest. Warmth pools in your core even from that simple touch.

“W-Wait,” you whisper. 

It makes Alec pause. His muscles tense. Has he read you wrong? 

He searches your face for a sign of discomfort. If you don’t want this, it’ll be…hard, at this point (for more reasons than one). But if he has to, he’ll let you go.

He’s relieved when you only twist away for a moment to turn off the stove. You return to him with a smile as your hands come to rest on his chest. You bite your lower lip. 

“Shall we continue?” he teases. 

His thumb encourages you to let go of your lip. He takes your chin between his fingers and guides you back to him.

The next kiss burns with a slower passion. One that consumes you enough to hook your arms around his neck and your legs around his hips. 

He grins against your lips and lifts you again, this time holding you firmly against him. You make another sound of surprise, but you don’t let that stop you from delving deeper into his kiss. 

He carries you into the bedroom and slams the rickety door.

Afterwards, the two of you lay together on the wrong side of your bed. 

Alec lies on his stomach and you on your back. The night had gotten such that you stopped caring which side you typically put your pillow on. Your hair is fanned out on the mattress in many tangles he took pride in creating.

A shitty show plays on your small TV, but Alec is watching with rapt attention. 

He’s kind of cute about it actually, you think. Like he’s never seen a soap opera before. 

“Ooh, that one’s my favorite,” you point backwards. “It’s about a sexy doctor, obviously.”

“Right, because I’m sure doctors always have this much sex with their patients,” Alec quips. 

You snort and shake your head. You stare at the side of his face for a moment, rather than the TV. 

The back of his hand rubs against your shoulder, earning your attention. 

“What’re you thinking?” he asks. He’s still looking at the screen.

“That I’m even hungrier now, but I don’t feel like getting up,” you admit with a giggle. He laughs.

“I wouldn’t mind some chow,” he says. 

You roll onto your stomach, taking some of the sheets with you when your knee slides over, resting against his naked lower back. You lean your chin on his shoulder as your hand travels across his back. 

“Is that your way of inviting yourself over for dinner?” you ask. 

He looks over at you then. He’s grinning, but his eyes are a touch softer, you think.

“If you don’t mind me crashing,” he says.

You shake your head and sift your fingers through his hair. Your gaze drifts down the back of his neck and catches on a strange mark. It’s a barcode, you realize, touching it lightly with two fingers. 

“What’s this? A prison tat?” you tease. 

He chuckles humorlessly. “Sort of.”

Your amusement fades, but your soft fingers along the back of his neck elicit a small shiver out of him. Your touch is gentle. He isn’t used to gentle, and it makes goosebumps spread across his skin. He feels your lips press a kiss to his shoulder next, and he turns his head to look at you. 

Beautiful, he thinks, taking in your face again, and the hint of cleavage down the sheets covering you, hiding the familiar curves he had all too much fun exploring.

“You gonna tell me the story?” you ask. “Or save it for a rainy day?”

Alec lets out a sigh through his nose. “Let’s pencil that one under the ‘Rainy’ column.”

You nod in agreement and bite your lip. These days, everyone has a story they’re not proud of. Even something that keeps them up at night. You don’t press Alec for his.

He’s grateful for that. He leans in and kisses you, nice and slow.

From the beginning, he noticed you. Your tenacity. Your quiet confidence. How you’re always willing to help your friends, and how you’ve never taken any of his shit, even if he knew part of you had been contemplating his suggestive offers. That spark always kept him coming back for more…and somehow, it became more.

In the back of his mind, this scares him a little. Being with you feels dangerous in a way that feels both familiar and foreign, but it’s too late. He’s been hooked by the pull of you. It’s a craving he can’t help but try and fill. Hopefully, not just tonight.  

“You said something about food?” he grins.

You smile and lean in again, until you’re mere inches from his lips. 

“Hmm, impromptu dinner date?” you offer. Alec laughs quietly and nods.

“We kinda went about this backwards,” you say, “but if you like spaghetti and plain sauce, I’m your girl.”

He smirks at that, and thumbs at your chin.

“Then you’re my girl.”

AN: And there's Part 1! It's only my second time writing Alec, so I hope he feels in character. Let me know what you think of this little series so far. 😘💜

There's much more in store over the next three parts, and the next one tackles perhaps my favorite episode (2.11), even if it's the most gutting.

Next Time:

“All right, that’s enough outta you,” Alec says, and he claims you with a more demanding kiss. His fingers sink into your hair tightly.  

But you press your hand to his cheek, making him pause for a moment. The amusement fades from his eyes the longer he stares into yours. You’re not teasing or joking anymore. 

You kiss him then with meaning. With tenderness. 

You don’t know how it makes that coil of guilt grip him like a vice.

Keep Reading: PART 2

Series Masterlist

Alec McDowell Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Alec M. Tag List:

@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @ades106 @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @roseblue373 @brianochka @branj19 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog

@globetrotter28 @charmed-asylum @waywardxwords @deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady @leigh70 @clinicallydepresso @emily-winchester @xiphoidbones @skoveu @nyotamalfoy @kmc1989

@waters-2567 @iwishiwas-sleeping @jessjad @pieandmonsters @akshi8278 @honeybabycherry @deans-spinster-witch @angelbabyyy99 @jackles010378 @nancymcl

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those of you who don’t know, I decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus, which is comprised of 9 units. I have completed four of the units (here is my queer cinema syllabus round up post with all the films I’ve watched and written about so far). It is time for me to make my way through Unit 5- Lesbians, which includes the following films: The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), Bound (1996), Water Lilies (2007)[finally got my hands on this one but I still need to watch it], Saving Face (2004), D.E.B.S. (2004), Set It Off (1996), The Handmaiden (2016), Carol (2015), Imagine Me and You (2005), Two of Us (2019), Rafiki (2018), and The Color Purple (1985). 

Yes, I know I already watched one today, but you see I still had an awkward amount of time left between posting my thoughts on Set It Off and bedtime so I figured, why the hell not?

Anyway, today I will be watching

The Handmaiden (2016) dir. Park Chan-Wook

[Run Time: 2:25, Language: Korean, CW: hanging, blood and removal of fingers, dubious consent, child abuse]

Summary: In 1930s Korea, a girl is hired as a handmaiden to a Japanese heiress who lives a secluded life on a countryside estate. But the maid has a secret: She is a pickpocket recruited by a swindler to help seduce the Lady and steal her fortune.

Cast:

Kim Min-hee as Lady Hideko

KIM TAE RI (MY BELOVED) as Sook-Hee

Ha Jung-Woo as Count Fujiwara

__

WOW! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE FUCKING FILM. AND I AM NOT JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE MY BELOVED KIM TAE RI GETS TO FUCK WOMEN IN IT!

IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THIS FILM, STOP READING THIS, GO WATCH THE FILM, AND COME BACK BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO SPOIL THE STORY FOR YOU!

The first thing I have to say is that the structure of this film was fucking brilliant, the way that each of the parts reveals and recontextualizes the pieces before it is expertly done. It’s so interesting seeing Sookhee interacting with Hideko in Part One because we know she is there on a mission to convince Lady Hideko to marry the Count and to get her placed in a mental hospital so the Count and Sookhee can acquire wealth. But because we only get brief glimpses of Sook-hee’s life before she became a handmaiden, we are still learning about her character as we go. Getting those little moments of internal dialog really had me curious about which aspects of her clumsiness, her stuttering, her interactions with the Lady were an act, and which pieces were as result of experiencing Gay Thoughts and accidentally fucking up what she was supposed to be doing. 

gif by @wlwsource

I love when a piece of media, a book, a show, a film, whatever presents the audience with a story and then forces them to re-examine everything they think they know about the situation. While I was distracted wondering which pieces of Sookhee were an act, I was not paying attention to the fact that Lady Hideko was putting on a performance of her own. So when Sookhee is dragged in to the mental hospital and Part Two begins, my jaw was on the fucking floor. Learning that certain lines that Hideko said to Sookhee like “he wouldn’t like making love to a corpse” and “like pulling one's hand from a flame” were words straight out of the Count’s mouth was such an elite moment of script writing. As Part Two unravels and you start to learn that Hideko was in cahoots with the Count the entire time, it is those little anchor points that really drive that reveal home. 

gif by @jattawa

The way that Hideko says she’s scared of the Count despite the evidence that he is nice (even though the evidence we have seen also speaks differently) pairs well with the feeling we get seeing Hideko’s uncle. In Part One we really only see him interacting with Hideko in the reading room, and there is a lot of stiffness and distances between them that speaks to tension but doesn’t necessarily feel inherently sexual. Sookhee and the audience are made to believe that Lady Hideko is naive about the world, and the visual storytelling of Hideko always carrying around and sleeping with that doll really cements this image of childlike naivety only to have that image completely shattered in Part Two where you learn that Hideko and her aunt before her have been trained to read pornographic content to men so they can use her body in their mental fantasies. I like that Park Chan-Wook solidifies that through creating little scenes where Hideko is strapped down to a table with whip marks on her ass, or the Count is strapped to the table getting whipped, etc to really drive home the point that Hideko’s function as the reader of pornography is to be used as fantasy. 

gif by @candlewinds

And then we get another reveal where Lady Hideko and Sookhee confess to attempting to betray each other and decide instead to shake themselves off of the Count and to run away together. It was fucking brilliant. 

All that said, I want to talk about the use of sex in this film because despite the fact that Hideko has been sexually exploited her entire life with the things her uncle has been making her do, despite the fact that the men touch and fondle and cross boundaries over and over again, this film is not anti-sex, nor is it anti-porn and I think that is very very important to say. The men in that room listening to her read porn come across a little creepy, but honestly there is nothing inherently wrong with consuming pornography, and it is not inherently strange for a group of men to be gathered together in a shared space to consume said pornography (adult movie theaters used to exist) the issue really centers around the fact that Hideko does not have any choice in the matter. 

gif by @theresatreeofmanyone

Sookhee and Hideko go around destroying as many of her Uncle’s porn books as they can before they run away to Japan, Sookhee rips them apart with her bare hands, she slices up the pages, she spills ink all over them, she throws them in water. And in all of this she is helping liberate Hideko from the abuse she has suffered under her entire life. It’s really interesting to me when they expand upon the first sex scene, showing all the different ways that Sookhee and Hideko were engaging in sex. To watch Hideko and Sookhee clasps hands while they are tribbing and then have a shot a few moments later of Sookhee looking at a statuette of two women clasping hands and tribbing was really smart to me. It solidifies where Hideko has learned all the sex stuff she employed with Sookhee in the bedroom, while also existing in a space that has been riddled with sexual exploitation. 

We get multiple sex scenes in this film, the longest ones really centering around Hideko and Sookhee, (and I love the little moment where they start to fuck and the doll that Hideko carries around everywhere falls off the bed because she is no longer hiding under the guise of childlike innocence) and the reason that I say that this film isn’t anti-porn is because Hideko’s engagement in sex with Sookhee is informed entirely by what she has read in her Uncle’s novels. The porn is not the problem, Hideko gets a hell of a lot of sexual gratification and satisfaction out of what she has read for the men. It just occurs in the privacy of her own room with someone that actually cares about her, of her own volition with someone she is also attracted to/in love with.

gif by @liyazaki

It feels to me very much like a reclamation, especially at the end when Sookhee and Hideko place the silver bells in their mouth and then insert them. Hideko was forced to place those metal balls in her mouth as a child when she tried to speak out against her uncle, she was hit over the hands with them and her cries were muffled by the bell in her mouth. She was told by her Uncle to think about the taste of metal any time she thought about speaking out, so to end the film with her placing those bells in her mouth and recreating a scene from one of the pornographic novels that she was made to read feels like a way to take control of the things she has endured. 

That said, there is undoubtedly a highly nuanced discussion to be had around those sex scenes being read and that being seen as exploitative to watching the sex scenes between Hideko and Sookhee which technically occur in private but exist for the audience to consume. If and where the male gaze exists in this film, who is writing it and whether or not the sex acts are true to vagina to vagina sex or more like lesbian porn created primarily for consumption by men. But it’s late, and I don’t want to write all that right now. 

Favorite Moment: 

gif by @candlewinds

I think my favorite moment was when Sookhee and Hideko go to the library and lays waste to all the books. Hideko has been suffering her entire life, her aunt was driven to madness, she is down and depressed, and mentions that there is barely ever sun because her uncle does not allow it. He cares far more for his pornographic content than anything else. It feels very freeing for them to do that, and I think it is an important moment for Hideko to internalize the fact that Sookhee genuinely cares for her, understands inherently what she has been through from just a few moments in that room, and wants to help. Especially when all that rage and destruction is followed by Sookhee jumping over the fence, realizing that Hideko can’t do that, jumping back over the fence to stack the suitcases so Hideko can get to the top of the fence. Sookhee is truly the first person in a good long while that has paid Hideko any positive attention, and I love that. 

Favorite Quote: 

I unfortunately have to give it to Fujiwara 

“At least I will die with my cock intact.”

Fujiwara I hate your fucking guts, but with that line you have earned my respect. Enjoy Hell. 

Score: 

10/10 

Everything in this film was beautifully done. The performances were incredible, the script writing brilliant, the use of background music and sound to set the mood was well done, and the VISUALS OH MY GOD THIS FILM WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. 

ALSO DID I MENTION THAT KIM TAE RI FUCKS WOMEN IN THIS????????

[thelov3lybookworm]

Plants Of Thorn Bear The Prettiest Of Flowers

Summary: Another day, another kill.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: Alright, so before you read this, be warned. The reader in this is bit dark and will do anything to win her father's approval.

FYI, she is the middle child, the second born after Rhysand and before Celeste, the one who later on dies along with their mom

anyways, enjoy!

•○🌑○•

Y/n flipped the dagger again, for what felt like the thousandth time as she walked through the winding halls of the Moonstone palace, humming a tune her father had hummed to her when she was a child to calm her down.

Her lips lifted at the edges, knowing she was the only one who got to see that side of their father.

It was not that she was glad that her father could not be bothered about her siblings, it was just that he was the only one who ever really gave Y/n any ounce of kindness other than her mother, and Y/n had snatched whatever scraps she could get and then moulded herself to someone who would not have to rely on scraps for affection.

"She can not find out about this, you know that right? She would skin us both alive." Y/n paused, her head turning the slightest towards where the voice was coming from.

Celeste. The youngest of the three children the High Lord had sired.

Y/n stood still, straining her ears to listen to what she was saying. Or more like who she was saying it to.

Y/n was almost sure Celeste was talking about her.

"I know."

The voice that reached Y/n's ears next was one she knew all too well, one she had come to like. Not love, not yet. That would be taking things too far too soon.

Alan.

"You need to leave."

"I know..."

Y/n glanced towards where the voice was coming from, cocking her head. It was a room where the servants kept supplies.

Honestly, they could have chosen a better place to partake in whatever act they had. Y/n rolled her eyes internally.

She turned away, and before they could realise that the event they had been fearful about had already come to pass, walked towards the nearest exit, erasing all traces of her presence as she went.

She opened her mind after she had hidden herself away in shadows, and it did not take long to have her father's attention on her.

Yes?

There is an intruder in the palace.

She knew she had her father's full attention on her then.

Interesting. Bring it to me.

On it.

•○🌑○•

It did not take long for Y/n to catch this intruder, and it took even less time for her to winnow him to her father's office, where her siblings were already waiting with him in tow, a bag over his head.

When she saw her siblings in his office, Y/n figured her father had drawn the conclusion that someone had let him in.

Y/n strutted in through doors, shoving the male she had in her arms to the floor.

"There comes my daughter." The High Lord drawled.

Y/n inclined her head, folding her arms behind her.

"Why have you summoned us here, father?"

Y/n glanced at her brother without moving her head, watching his face as it contorted with confusion.

But at his side, Celeste stared and stared at the male at Y/n's feet, the colour draining from her face.

"I'm sure Celeste knows why you have been summoned, don't you, Celeste?" Their father tuned his shrewd eyes to his youngest, whose eyes flew wide, shaking her head.

"I don't know what you are-"

"Don't play the fool with me girl. If you did not know who this was, you would not look like you had seen a ghost."

Rhysand's eyes flitted between his baby sister and father, wanting to know what the hell was going on.

"Y/n found an intruder walking freely around the palace." Their father spoke, drawing everyone's attention. "And he could not have come up here by himself, for he has no wings. Only four people have wings inside these walls, and neither Y/n nor your mother would have done this. That leaves you two to bring him up here, let him enter the wards. So," He stood, rounding the magnificent mahogany desk to lean against it, his hands in his pocket. "Who is it?"

Rhys glanced to Celeste, his eyes holding something akin to rage.

He sighed before he opened his mouth. "I brought him here. He is a friend-"

"Do you take me for a fool, boy? You have no friends save for the illyrian scum."

Rhys swallowed, and Y/n could see his hands clenching from where he had them behind his back. "Father-"

"If you continue lying, Celeste will receive the punishment for you."

Rhysand's mouth shut with an audible click.

"Ask her if she brought him up here. Do not waste my time, I have much work to do."

Rhysand only glanced at Celeste, who, with a scathing glare at Y/n, dipped her chin in a small nod.

"Hmm. Y/n?"

Y/n moved, walking to the shelf behind the desk and pulling out a whip, only one of multiple, and walked back to her father, holding it out to him.

He picked it up, studying it for a few moments before he hummed. "This will do. Celeste, now I want you to whip this young man here. Would fifty lashes be enough?"

No one moved, except for Alan, who began struggling. Y/n felt the heat of two glares on her face.

"Answer me!" The high lord's facade slipped for a moment, and he screamed, his voice high and scary, making his oldest and youngest flinch. Y/n stood still as a statue at his side, staring at a wall opposite.

"Father please." Celeste's voice wobbled, and Y/n ignored the part of her that rebelled at the fear that filled her voice.

Calm settled once again in her father's voice when he spoke next.

"Fine. If you don't want him to live, I will let Y/n slit his throat. That way you will have his head to keep in your room, and you won't sneak any more boys in."

Y/n knew it was no suggestion. That had been his plan all along, to kill the male.

Alan had stilled once again, the smell of fear that emanated from him very nearly overwhelming Y/n.

Y/n bowed her head to her father, and unsheathed the biggest dagger she owned, stalking forward.

Her previous lover looked up at her in fear when she tugged off the bag, silver lining his eyes as she grabbed him by the hair.

"Please. Don't do this." He whispered.

Y/n slipped into his mind, staring deep into his eyes as she raised the dagger to his throat, ignoring the scream emitting from her sister. She could not stop until her father told her to, and she would rather not disappoint him.

"This is what you get for betraying me, my trust, and wasting my time."

"Please don't do this Y/n. You know I love you. She tricked me-"

But before he could let another word slip, his throat was slit, and he drew in a wet sounding gasp, blood bubbling from the deep cut.

He was dead before his head was separated from his body. Y/n, still clutching his head, turned to look at her father as his body fell forward, landing with a sickening thud, blood splattering everywhere.

She raised her hand slightly, and he nodded to where her sister kneeled, her eyes fixed on the body on the ground. Swallowing the guilt that rose, Y/n let the head drop and roll to her sister's feet.

Rhysand, who clutched at Celeste's arms to keep her from running to Alan's body, growled. His eyes flashed to Y/n, filled with hatred, and Y/n turned away. Meeting her father's eyes, who smiled wide at her, and nodded his head to her legs.

"Get some servants to clean the filth up, then go and eat something."

Y/n bowed, then walked out the door, leaving all the events of the evening behind and hoping she could forget it all after she added a mark for him to her skin as a testament to her kills.

•○🌑○•

Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392

[kiwisa]

Watch Out, Boys ✷ cl16

✷ SECOND INTERLUDE OF THE TAMING OF THE HEARTBREAKER

━━━━━  PREVIOUS & NEXT !

in which... Y/N's invitation to the Miami GP means trouble !

AS THE HALL & OATES' SONG GOES: "Watch out, boys, she'll chew you up." Because, if there's one thing we know, it's that putting Y/N L/N and 20 conventionally attractive men in the same place is never a good idea. 

Yet, that is precisely what's going to happen in a few days at the Miami International Autodrome. The actress, who will play the iconic Barbie in Greta Gerwig's adaptation, has been invited by Ray-Ban to the Miami Grand Prix on May 8.

The news was announced on Ferrari’s TikTok account⏤which the eyewear brand sponsors⏤and has since then sparked numerous reactions. While these vary, one common thread stands out: the fear of havoc. Admittedly, L/N turns heads and sows discord wherever she goes. 

Formula One is already a chaotic world, adding Y/N L/N and her shenanigans to the mix would only make it worse. 

Since her list of actors waiting to be seduced is dwindling, this event presents itself as a bargain for the Academy Award-winning actress, who will only have to draw someone from 20 options to be her next prey. 

If the possibilities are considerably reduced by one small element to consider⏤the WAGs⏤L/N has shown before that she is not above immorality when it comes to getting her way. Her affair with Harry Styles, even though he was rumoured to be in a relationship with Olivia Wilde at the time, is formal proof of this. 

Hide your men, ladies, because The Heartbreaker is in town and ready to pounce!

✷ SEE ALSO ON LOVE CLUB... !

Y/N L/N named the highest-paid actress of 2021 by Forbes

"Name a more iconic character? You can't" Y/N on being cast as Barbie for Greta Gerwig's movie

Is Harry Styles cheating on Olivia Wilde with Y/N L/N?

Of course, all eyes are now on the two Ferrari drivers, with whom L/N will spend most of her time (common sponsor dictates), and more particularly on Charles Leclerc, who is single.

It has been almost a month since the woman was last seen with anyone. A record! She's probably more determined than ever to get her hands on some fresh meat, and what better than a handsome, muscular driver who can speak French? We all know L/N's soft spot for the language of love. Her interviews remind us of it enough. So do her many French conquests.

We just hope that the actress' famous bedroom eyes will not trouble the Monegasque and make him lose his race. The fans of Il Predestinato would not react kindly to this.

He is, after all, one of the current favourites for the championship.

In any case, no matter what happens over the weekend, the outcome is bound to be interesting. Because, while her actions are open to criticism, Y/N L/N's impact is undeniable.

The woman is already the talk of the paddock and she hasn’t even set foot on it yet.

FILED UNDER #Y/NL/N #F1 #ACTORS #SPORTS #MIAMI #DATING

Sort by Latest ↓

Anonymous 15 minutes ago

It's already a miracle that she hasn't tried to fuck football players yet, if she could keep this up with F1 it would be great.

Anonymous 38 minutes ago

I will never understand why celebrities who have nothing to do with F1 and probably don't give a shit about it either are invited to all GP. It's ridiculous.

Anonymous 51 minutes ago

There's something about Y/N that I just hate. It's physical at this point. I can only stand her in movies. Probably because she doesn't act like herself in those...

Anonymous 1 hour ago

No, but I swear she really has a libido problem. This is the only explanation. She must be a nymphomaniac. Or just a whore. Or both.

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[despairots]

CANDY NECKLACE: TIKTOK TREND

「 satoru gojo x gender neutral! reader 」

GENRE: slight suggestive themes, established relationship, crack, short story, sorta modern au, only for the phones though.

CONTENT WARNING: suggestive themes, swearing, not much i can cw, bottom reader.

AUTHORS NOTE: pls take this while i work on the oracle first chapter, i promise its almost done i just had this idea randomly. this is gender neutral but i wrote this with male reader in mind. yknow that trend where this girl has that candy necklace around her neck and goes around asking boys if they wanted some and she’d pull the necklace for them to take the candy in there month idk

being in a relationship with THE satoru gojo was bound to get you in the centre of attention (though you two have been in a relationship every since highschool years). students gave you pitiful glances that you had to deal with a literally man baby.

he’d whine and whine if you even decided to remove his arm around your waist to take a piss, it was annoying but you loved him anyways. if being a jujutsu sorcerer was your first job them being a babysitter was your second one.

not once have you seen a 28-year old man— who’s the strongest out there aswell— pout and act all dramatic when you decline him of a kiss. he would pull a heartbroken women act right out of his ass and hold onto you while staring into your soul.

(“after i birthed your kids!?”)

(“WHAT.”)

though, there was moments where he could act like a little child at one point and transition to a full on teasing boyfriend.

he would glide his fingers against your arms until they reached your lips—parting them with his thumb— as he neared your lips, teasing the air between you both before pulling back completely (which resulted with a bruise on his head).

he teased you and often worships your skin, leaving bruises and marks wherever he can reach. those happened when missions had to separate you both, making you both worry for eachother. And when you’re both in eachother’s arms, you know where that leads you both.

just today there was a mission that involved gojo, you, aswell as his students. the end if it, gojo had proposed a sleepover, so that’s where you are now.

a over sized shirt over you with gojo’s boxers and on the shared, a pillow in your arms and the lights shut off, only light source from the tv and the flashlight gojo had.

“.. and them boom! [name] nullified their ability and the curse exploded!”

the students (well, yuuji and kugisaki. megumi wasn’t interested) awed, stars exploding in their eyes as your eye twitched. now, he was just making shit up. you sighed, pinching gojo’s eyes and hearing him whine, “that isn’t what happened.”

he pouted, “i can’t tell my students how absolutely amazing you are?” yeah, he can. it boosted your ego but not when he was speaking a bunch of lies, “no, baby.” placing a kiss on his cheek as megumi internal gagged at the sight.

“we should play truth or dare. telling stories are kinda boring now. megumi, you in?” yuuji turned to the spiky black haired boy beside him, everyone knew his answer already.

“absolutely not.” plain glances were handed to him.

why did it almost reminded you of a highschool party by how yuuji and kugisaki laughed evily while looking at you? they’re scheming something you didn’t want to be apart of. you sweatdropped when kugisaki cleared her thought.

she looked at you with a devious gaze, “[name], truth or dare?” of course you were first, “truth.” god, you pussy! although, it seemed like if you picked dare it wouldn’t be any better then picking truth.

“how often do you and gojo do it?” your face paled while you turned to gojo slowly, and he had a grin on his face!? how insane is this guy!? “it’s a truth, [name]~ how often do we do it?” he teased you, pinching your cheek in his fingers.

“you’re not helping!”

“come on! don’t be a wussy!” he wiggled his fingers infront of you, holding your pillow as shield as you answered, “twice or once a week.” kugisaki and yuuji fist bumped eachother, how horrible of them.

the game went on and on until kugisaki had asked you a dare, a dare that made gojo gasp in excitement. it worked since he was a sweet tooth aswell.

kugisaki cleared her throat, holding something behind her back, “it’s you once again, [name]. truth or dare?” you hummed, thinking about which one would have the least consequences. you had chosen truth more then you had choose dare— about 6 to 10– “dare.”

she laughed, pulling a candy necklace out from her back, watching gojo’s eyes sparkle. “i dare you to wear this candy necklace and after each round, gojo takes a bit out of each one.” you sulked into the couch, gojo patting your head.

gojo took it from kugisaki’s hand, pulling it over your head as it nestled around your neck. he pulled on the necklace, nearing close to your neck where you fault his breath against it before taking one of the candy from the necklace.

this was gonna be long.

bite after bite, dare after dare, and truth after truth. the necklace was halfway done and your embarrassment was starting to get to you.

the way he kept slowly tugged the necklace to his mouth while maintaining eye contact and biting into the candy made your breath hitch every time he did, he was teasing you, like he always did.

and the students knew aswell, that’s why they kept drawing this game out.

“truth or dare, gojo?” yuuji had asked, his phone in his hand as he stared up at his teacher, “dare.” he had more balls then you. after kugisaki had given you the candy necklace, your choices of picking dare was very unlikely.

“i dare you to show us your last photo for your eyes only.” oh. oh! the last photo was your blushing face in bed. was gojo gonna take this dare and have his students see him and you differently?

it looked like he was thinking long and hard until he had answer, “can i not take it?” you let out a relief breath that you didn’t realize you were holding in.

yuuji and megumi looked at eachother before shrugging, “okay but you’ll have to finish [name]’s necklace and tell us your favourite position—“

“you guys are minors! how do you know this stuff!?” you interjected with embarrassment, taking notice of gojo’s twitching fingers. he was holding himself back from throwing your legs over his shoulders and eating all the candy on your neck.

megumi slapped the back of yuuji’s head, “let’s just go to sleep.” you agreed with megumi’s words, hearing the other two whine before stomping to their rooms you had offered them.

sighing in relief, you threw your head back against the couch, feeling your embarrassment disappear from your entire body— until the necklace was tugged again and placed into gojo’s mouth.

there was a clear and evident look in his eyes that he wanted more, fixing your positions into something more comfortable before throwing one of your legs over his shoulders and leaning closer to your neck.

“i’m not finished.”

oh shit.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

on the subject of Frank, Frank & Julie, and Franklydear 

I used to think that Frank will probably be one of the more skeptical puppets, and prone to being one of the first to see that not all is as it seems. And I think the majority of us think/thought this! 

But thanks to Riv i have entirely changed my tune. I think Frank will actively be avoiding the truth & clinging to the illusion. Here’s why!

Frank is portrayed as the most “rigid” neighbor - hell, it’s even part of his design! He likes routine, rules, for things to be ‘just so’ in his eyes. He doesn’t seem to like it when things stray from how they’re supposed to be. Everything has a time and a place. 

(and this might be mildly insane but blame Riv not me bc they said it, but in Just So Frank says “i like it best when red goes in front of the rest”, and if red is Wally… dot dot dot…) 

Then there’s how Frank will very likely be trying extremely hard to be something he’s not. And this is part of his design, too - he’s the only one in the cast without a natural blush. Yes, we’ve seen art where he can blush, but that’s in specific situations. In the bio images Frank is the only one without that little extra bit of color to his cheeks - he has two huge red splotches on him instead. Fake blush. Big and bright and impossible to ignore. 

And I’m gonna be diving a bit into Franklydear & Frank’s relationship with Julie because it’s important to this. 

I have also changed my tune on Franklydear - slightly. Welcome Home seems to be an example of nonlinear storytelling, as we’ve been getting bits and pieces from all over the place. The Live Interview from the early days, WHRP & Wally’s secret vinyl audios from “now”, the bug audios from an indeterminate time… so while I do think Franklydear is “already happening” within the main meat of the “past”, we will likely also get a chance to see before and after. And I do think there will be an after.

But I’m getting ahead of myself! Why do I think we’re going to see an established Franklydear? I’m going to be honest. A kofi post that I accidentally saw when a friend was sharing their screen with me and didn’t notice until it was too late </3 I should have looked away! But I didn’t, and that’s on me! I won’t say what I saw (it would be a theory anyways, nothing explicit or concrete in the evidence!) but it immediately convinced me that Frank & Eddie are in a secret relationship. I want to say more very badly, but if i’m proven right in tonight’s stream then I will be sharing Why I’m right. 

More reasoning that is obvious with this context - the whole “Mr. Dear / Frank- i mean Mr. Frankly!” thing might be part of this fabricated distance. I would completely believe you if you told me that Frank had them both refer to each other professionally to keep up the facade that they’re nothing but neighbors, nothing going on here nosiree. They definitely don’t meet in the woods to be romantic! That added with how unusually playful Frank is with Eddie in 8-14 is interesting… though I can also believe that those audios are from “before” their relationship, given that Frank seems to be dropping a hint with the whole “ You don’t need to be that familiar with them in order to get to know them better!” line. I don’t know - there are a bunch of contradictions that could be them acting, could be differences in the timeline, who’s to say yet! 

Anyway, so Franklydear is likely in a secret relationship, but I think Frank is going to get scared, call it off, and try to force a relationship with Julie. As in lying to her and everyone that he has feelings for her, and fulfilling their “destiny” in becoming a couple. I think Frank is where a lot of the internalized homophobia is going to come in.

In most of the Franklydear art we’ve seen from Clown, Frank seems to be very nervous and flustered around Eddie while Eddie seems to be more calm and forward. Frank has already proven to have a bit of a nervous disposition - he’s certainly high strung. That combined with his rigidity, the airs he puts on, and just… everything about him really, I don’t think he’ll be able to handle the pressure. 

(side note: the way that Clown said that he wishes they hadn’t let everyone know about Franklydear, it’s ok because it’s “not a major spoiler” has been fucking me up a little. Wym it’s not a Major spoiler? It’s so funny… we’ve all been like “Franklydear will be Thee relationship and a big thing-” and then it’s Not. lmao) 

Then there’s the song Clown associates with Franklydear, “Esperar pra ver”. @/Theneighborhoodwatch gave a translation/interpretation of the lyrics - cannot for the life of me find the og ask/post to link, but (if I’m remembering correctly) it was essentially said that the song is about love that doesn’t last / lost love. My friend Akemi (@/akemima <3) provided an alternate interpretation - to quote:

“...to me, it speaks about how they’re both Unable to speak up about their love? and the “wait and see” part is most likely them waiting for the other to make a first step or like. something Hopeful yknow?”

As both a tragedy enjoyer and a happy-end enjoyer, I wouldn’t mind either interpretation being accurate, personally! So Akemi has given us a sprinkle of hope for Franklydear! I think that both interpretations have merit, and hey, they can coexist. We might have them together, then Frank getting scared and calling it off, and then a “third arc” of them wanting to be back together but unable to (yet). Who’s to say! 

ON TO THE JULIE PORTION.

For a while I thought that Julie might be the one to pursue a relationship with Frank - both because of the subconscious influence of her “Role” & that she’s bi while Frank is gay. On surface level she would be the most likely of the two to get the wrong/mixed signals and Go For It.

However. Nothing about this project is surface level. 

I’ve already mentioned that I think Frank is going to try very hard to be something he isn’t. And this is backed by how his relationship with Julie is portrayed (another thank you to Riv for pointing a lot of this out & smacking some sense into me <3) 

Frank is all about rules and matching. Julie is all about improv and independence. Riv pointed out that in “Just So” the audio distorts when Frank is changing bowties and Julie asks if it “really matters”. They also pointed out that, apparently in the Halloween outfit references, Frank’s notes indicate that he’s matching with Julie - but Julie doesn’t have any reciprocating notes. It implies that she was doing her own thing and Frank adjusted himself accordingly. Julie goes along with Frank sometimes, but it seems that it’s usually Frank scrambling to go along with Julie. She’s been described as independent and stubborn. Frank is a bit more of a conforming pushover (no offense Frankie, love ya to bits <3). 

Frank is the straightman to Julie’s… I can’t reference the bios anymore but you know! He might be her straightman in more ways than just “he takes things seriously.” 

And really. Frank likes routine, he likes things to be consistent. He’s been with Julie as her best friend / “partner” for so long that I’m not sure if he can easily break away from that - I think a change as big as getting romantically involved with Eddie would terrify him. It might be thrilling for a moment, but then the fear will set in. 

I thought Julie would be the one clinging to Frank, but it’s the other way around isn’t it? 

Frank gets scared & then leads Julie on because he’s trying to act “normal”, the way that’s expected of him. And it fits. One of WH’s themes is the fear of being shunned for / perceived as different by others. Once they know what you are, will they treat you the same? 

And I don’t think Julie would be entirely opposed, either. I wouldn’t blame her for developing a crush on Frank. I mean, it might turn out that she’s “just going along with it” because she feels the same pressure and fear, but hm… I’m not convinced of that given what we know about her character. But if Julie has a little crush on Frank, I wouldn’t be surprised if when he forces himself to like her & initiates a relationship, she either realizes that it really was just a crush, or she’ll pick up on how Frank doesn’t actually have feelings & act accordingly. This option has more merit in my eyes. I think it would also reflect on the “love” theme of her house - I’ve speculated since pretty much day one that she’ll have an arc around realizing that she doesn’t need a relationship or even really want one at present, going against what Playfellow likely wanted from her. 

(and then I start thinking about the whole livestream trivia thing of Julie maybe falling down a hole or into some abyss… and the concept art of her shoes where she’s standing at the edge of a dark abyss… does she fall, does she jump, or is she pushed? If she winds up being pushed, who does it? Barnaby (milk theory babey!) or perhaps she’ll get in a fight with Frank and in the heat of the moment he accidentally causes her to fall, either by pushing or making her lose awareness of her surroundings (backing off of the edge?). I’m aware that this paragraph is a stretch all around! Don’t take it too seriously! A pinch of salt, people!)

There’s not much else to be said so, in conclusion:

Welcome Home’s storytelling is likely on a nonlinear timeline, Franklydear is established but won’t last, and Frank/Julie is probably going to become a temporary thing

[zot3-flopped]

None of these delusion “swifties” actually know much about Taylor Swift’s weird summer with the Kennedys and it never fails to make me cringe.

Taylor Swift spent an entire year obsessing over the Kennedy before even meeting them - reading books, dressing like a 1950s housewife, and visiting JFKs grave to lay flowers. (I beg you to look up the paparazzi photos, she’s stood there in a yellow dress, massive sunglasses, an umbrella and a serious look on her face - it looks like it came straight out of a Pretty Little Liars episode lol).

She manages to get into their circle and spends time with them in Hyannis Port over the summer. She starts dating one of them (Patrick), however Patrick wants to pursue a career in acting and leaves. A few days later, Taylor is cozying up to his 17 YEAR OLD COUSIN (she is 22, almost 23 at this time), Conor Kennedy. Unfortunately, Conor’s age isn’t the only problematic part - his mother had just commit suicide very recently so he’s in a vulnerable position, and Taylor decides it’s completely normal to buy a house right by his own family’s (they’ve only known each other for weeks)!

Not only does this social climbing psychopath buy a 4 million dollar house to be close to her boyfriend, but she also has to sign him out of school to hang out with him 😭 Not to mention the moment she crashed a Kennedy wedding she wasn’t invited to, was politely asked to leave by the mother of the bride (if I remember correctly) and apparently “looked straight past as if she wasn’t there”

Her PR team must’ve worked overtime to squash this because all of her feral fans are constantly attacking Taylor’s exes for problematic age gaps, yet seem to completely blank on Conor Kennedy being a minor.

I've seen Cages talk about the age gap between Taylor and the boys she dated when she was 22 and she just dismissed it by claiming that 'Taylor was a very young 22', as if Taylor was a virgin who'd never left her family home instead of an international popstar who'd already had two serious relationships with older men.

Jaime also said 'Harry Styles was much more experienced at 18 than Taylor was at 22', even though at 18 he'd only dated one other person for any length of time, and that was a fellow student his own age called Felicity Skinner in secondary school.

[wildissylupus]

My (hopefully) last complaint about Junkertown and the Junkers before my inevitable Re-write post

Junkers vs. MAD MAX

Alright I'm already on a roll with this and I've already committed myself to doing a rewrite of Junkertown and the Junkers, but I have one more thing to complain. That being the fact that they butcher the media they are referencing, that being Mad Max. For more context this is also coming form an Australian who has never watched these movies, this doesn't mean I didn't do my research, this is just to give context that I myself have never seen these movies.

If you don't know Mad Max is very much Australian media, written by, acted by, and taking place in Australia. Not only that but it very much relies on the world building of the fact that one, Australia is very isolated, and two, the rest of the world is like this. Something that Overwatch fails egregiously off the bat with considering that the rest of the world is not an apocalyptic wasteland and the fact that the thing that caused Junkertown and the radiation was an Omnium. You know, the thing that multiple countries had? There's also the fact that Junkrat and Roadhog are international criminals, how big Austraila is and the travel time between areas are never considered, it's exceedingly easy to leave the damn country (Junkrat and Roadhog again but also Hammond in his new short story). They want to be a Mad Max reference without actually considering the fact that the isolation inherent to Australia is important to Mad Max's setting.

There's also the fact that Mad Max relies heavily on visual story telling, Mad Max: Fury Road not even having a screenplay, it was fully laid out on storyboards. There's also the fact that Mad Max was not about the Australian experience but rather the human experience, this isn't a problem until you realize that every other characters references are very much biased off that characters origin. That or their place of origin is considered when writing them even if the reference for said character isn't from that country.

Another thing is that Mad Max communicates the brutality and disfunction of humanity, society has collapsed and we are left with the worst of it. The theming and messaging does not work with the rest of Overwatch's theming, it also doesn't make sense in universe considering that Overwatch was one, very environment focused, and two, was already sending forces to Australia to help with the consequences of radiation. Why did they let the Wasteland and Junkertown get so bad? Especially in the early Golden Age, and you can't say that it was because of the Junkers cause Overwatch have handled worse. Even before that point. We also have better examples of "the worst of humanity trope" with Talon, and they actually fit the story and world.

The theme they also completely miss in the soulless copy that is the Junkers is the individual connections and the theming or regaining humanity after great tragedy. In all honesty the best way they could have done this would have been to make Howl's rule itself the Mad Max Reference while Odessa's rule was the healing process from that, but no, they made her an overtaxing dictator instead. The gave the Junkers storyline the theme of desperation but no theme of hope, leaving it empty.

The only thing they unintentionally get right is that your environment doesn't necessarily change you, you do. Yes, a change of environment can assist in giving you space to make that change, but you are you no matter where you go. Junkrat and Roadhog don't change cause their out of Junkertown, they stay the exact same. Which is unfortunate because this is just due to them lacking any real depth in canon, an no, Junkrat actually being incredibly smart isn't character depth.

Back to the whole human connection thing, tell me, outside of fanon interpretation, out side of Junkrat's unreliable narration, outside of the interaction with characters he hasn't met in canon yet. Does anyone like Junkrat? Roadhog is there because Junkrat is paying him and because he seems board, the rest of Junkertown hates him, JQ especially. Roadhog doesn't seem to care about anyone, Junkerqueen's only true connection we see is with Hammond, and Hammond contiues to be my favoutite Junker by literally negating all the complaints about Junkertown I've had so far.

Honestly when I started looking at Junkertown lore I did not expect to be coming out saying that the fucking hamster was the best written character but here we are.

This is all also only referencing Mad Max: Fury Road by the way, which is probably what Junker Town is based off of considering its popularity and the time of release compared to Overwatch's. Honestly I might re-do this analysis/complaint if I ever watch the Mad Max series myself. Though I don't think my feelings will change of this, and that is the Junkers are an insult of a reference to MAD MAX. An empty copy at best. This is also coming from the person who often defends Overwatch's writing, I can't defend the Junkers, it's just bad writing.

[shinhoebakuhoekitten]

I like to think that shinsou never really understood the sexual potential of his quirk as he was growing up because he was so insecure about it in the first place because he thought it was a quirk you could only use for evil. But as he grew more confident and trained to use it work in his favor, his insecurities definitely lighten up and he’s not afraid to use it in front of others. But imagine one fateful day, maybe his friends make a casual joke to him about how they would use his quirk in bed if they had it. Shinsou proceeds to have an internal breakthrough and kinda regrets that he didn’t think of that in the first place. but it’s never too late is it? he gives some lame excuse to leave and can’t wait to get home and try it on you <3 (w/ consent ofc)

Anon with the big brain. Thank you 💕

Also, I always accept prompts/requests/thoughts fyi.

It gets brought up so causally too, imagine Shinso is out with Denki, Izuku, Bakugo and Kiri at Bakugos place for a dudes night since they hadn’t all seen each other much once they all became pro hero’s. It’s a casual Saturday night filled with gaming and booze.

Denki has a had a few too many and the already loose lip hero becomes a menace once tipsy because he does not know how to shut his damn mouth.

“I had her squirting in under a minute with a combination of my tongue and quirk. She’s already texted me to come see her tomorrow, so sounds like I’m getting lucky again.” Denki is already beginning to get a slight slur to his voice, signaling Bakugo to bring out the non alcoholic beer for him since he always got like this.

“Uh huh Denks, whatever you say.” Shinso muttered as he threw Kiris character in Smash over the platform, signaling a win.

Shinso took a swig of his beer as Kiri passed the controller over to Izuku, muttering how he never wins this damn game.

“Well what about you?” Denki starts “tried your quirk on that pretty girlfriend of yours yet or are you too chickenshit.”

A loud ‘Ha!’ Erupted from Bakugos lips as he looked to the lavender hair man, quirking his eyebrow as if to say ‘Well, have you?’

Shinso fixed the way he was sitting against the bottom of the couch as he selected his character, trying to act nonchalant as he replied

“No, I’ve actually never used my quirk on anyone because I don’t need it to fuck anyone dumb.”

A ‘Oooo’ escaped Kiris lips as Izuku looked at Shinso, shock prominent on his face.

“Really? You’ve never used it before? I figured it would make sex more thrilling.”

The game started before Shinso could reply and he allowed that time to think about what everyone was saying. It wasn’t news to anyone that when most people learned of Shinso’s quirk a lot of people assumed it would be used for villainous acts vs being a hero. Shinso guessed that he had gotten so used to everyone thinking that way that he never wanted to use it beyond hero work, even for personal pleasure.

Shinso lost quickly to Izuku. He gave his controller over to Bakugo as his phone buzzed in the pocket of his hoodie.

Miss you <3

As Shinso read the text from you he couldn’t help but smile a bit. You two had been dating just over a year and had recently moved in together, a huge first for both of you.

Reading the text made him think about the fact that maybe he did want to try his quirk in bed with you. Without thinking too much about the fact that everyone would be able to put two and two together he put his phone away and put his shoes on while telling the group that you weren’t feeling great so he was going to call it for the night.

“The sex better be worth it to ditch us early!” Kami bellowed out as Shinso closed the apartment door.

He too was hoping the same thing as he shot off a quick text to you.

I’ve got an idea that I wanna try in the bedroom tonight. See you in twenty 😉