#he had the potential to be a tumblr sexy man

[aubrey-plush12]

Why is it only now that I’m finding out about this dude…I need an x reader of him or I might have to make one myself..like why Is he hot???and he’s voiced by the same dude who voiced master shake??i need him..

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 16, Unaccompanied - Pt. 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, allusions to sexy stuff, a long overdue conversation with Steve.

Word Count: 2.4k

Previously On...: You went to Tony for answers about how Carthage ended up on the Quinjet; he asks you to attend his annual shareholder gala on Saturday. You, vomiting, + a bunch of stuffy rich people. What could go wrong?

A/N: Quick note about how text messages are written herein: Outgoing messages (in this instance, from Pocket to Bucky) will be indicated by ">>" in front of them. Incoming messages are labeled with the contact name the phone owner has for that person in their phone. In this instance, Pocket has Bucky saved in her phone as "Magic Dick🍆🦾" lol

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Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

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The gala had barely begun and you were already exhausted. Your stomach bug hadn’t let up, and you’d been vomiting for the last two days. Fortunately, you were able to get an injection of an anti-nausea medication from one of the interns down in the med bay, so even though you didn’t currently have to worry about puking your guts out on some obscenely wealthy financier, you just had to deal with the constant exhaustion you’d been feeling from your illness. 

Just a few more hours, you told yourself as you brushed off the advances of yet another man old enough to be your father. Not once had anyone actually wanted to discuss the Crisis Prediction Algorithm System. It seemed you were being viewed more as potential arm candy than Stark Industries’ CTO. That alone was enough to leave you longing for an early night in your bed. 

You did look amazing, though, you had to admit, even if you’d had to go a little heavy on the makeup to mask your pallor. When you asked Tony for a new dress, you’d anticipated taking the girls on a shopping trip. Tony, however, had other ideas and had sent a designer from one of the city’s top fashion houses to the Tower to collect your measurements, and then, the following day, a garment bag appeared in your room containing a striking dress in shimmering Iron Man-red. The bodice was form fitting and strapless, with an asymmetric neckline, and the skirt was full and came down to just below your ankles. 

It was gorgeous, and when your hair and makeup had been completed, you looked like a princess straight out of a fairy tale. You’d sent a picture to Bucky and he’d immediately sent you back a series of panting emojis that had you laughing. The following string of text that described exactly what he wanted to do to you in the dress then had you panting, yourself. Fuck your parameters, apparently.

But now, you couldn’t wait to get out of it for an entirely different reason. The call of your pajamas was so alluring. Not only were you physically tired, but you were bored out of your mind. As this was a Stark Industries party, and not an official Avengers gathering, most of your friends had opted not to come. Rhodey was here, now almost fully recovered from his gunshot wounds, but Tony wouldn’t leave his side, so he was constantly being surrounded by people and you couldn’t really find an opening to go talk to him.

When you’d asked Nat and Wanda if they wanted to come with you, Wanda had politely declined, letting you know that she and Vision already had plans to go out of town for the weekend, while Nat just scoffed at you. “I would literally rather swallow broken glass, Pocket,” she’d said. “Those things are boring as fuck and there is not enough money you could possibly pay me to go to one, sorry.” She’d ended up going bar hopping with Clint and Sam, instead.

So, there you were, all by yourself, not even able to distract yourself with the elaborate spread of food that Tony had provided, as the thought of eating still turned your stomach, when you felt a hand at your elbow.

“Hey,” Steve said softly. His presence took you by surprise– you couldn’t even remember the last time you’d truly spoken to one another, aside from clipped conversations about work and missions. “That’s a lovely dress.” A slight blush tinted his cheeks. “How are you feeling, by the way?”

“Steve, hi. Um, I’m good, thank you. Just really tired. Not quite in the right headspace to schmooze, you know?” you asked him, trying to fight off the awkwardness you were feeling at speaking to him again after so long. “You look very dashing tonight.” And he did, with his dark navy suit and cream button-up. 

He smiled, then held out a hand. “Would you care to dance?” he asked. You thought about it for a second. You didn’t want to lead him on, let him think you had any interest beyond the platonic relationship you’d always shared, but you were so fucking bored. One dance couldn’t hurt.

“I’d love to,” you said, taking his hand and letting him lead you to the dance floor.

He was surprisingly light on his feet, given his hulking frame, and he led you through the steps with ease. You somehow managed to only step on his toes twice, which gave you both a good laugh.

“I must have forgotten all my finishing school lessons,” you teased.

“Nah, you’re doing great.” Steve sent you out for a spin, but as he twirled you back into his arms, you were overcome with a wave of dizziness and stumbled. You felt your knees give out and your body begin to collapse in its exhaustion.

“Whoa,” said Steve, using his super soldier reflexes to grab you before you could fall and hold you steady. “I got you. You wanna sit down? Rest a bit?”

You nodded and he led you over to a quiet corner where some couches had been arranged for that very purpose. He guided you down to sit, then placed himself next to you, concern clouding his features.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you said. “Just, you know, between the nausea and the vomiting, I haven’t really been able to keep a lot of food down over the last two days. It’s got me so tired. I think I overdid it with a dance number.”

Steve chuckled, then stood up. “Let me go get you something to drink,” he said. “It’s important that you stay hydrated.” You nodded, and he was off.

With a sigh, you reached into your clutch and pulled out your phone, sending a quick text to Bucky, but knowing that, due to the time difference, he was probably sleeping.

>> I miss you.

You were quite surprised, then, when you saw the three dots appear almost immediately.

Magic Dick🍆🦾: Not that I don’t miss you too, because I desperately do.

Magic Dick🍆🦾: But aren’t you supposed to be livin' it up like Cinderella at the ball?

You chuckled at that before responding.

>> This Cinderella is tired and bored and would much rather be snuggled up in bed with her metal-armed Prince Charming watching a movie or literally any other activity aside from being at this ball unaccompanied. 

Magic Dick🍆🦾: You better be talking ‘bout me, doll. 

>> How many other metal-armed men do I have in my life, dipshit? 

>> Why are you even awake, anyway?

Magic Dick🍆🦾: I’m just teasin’ you, smart ass ;) 

Magic Dick🍆🦾: I’d much rather be curled up in bed with you doin any variety of bedly activities, too >:) 

Magic Dick🍆🦾: And I’m up because we’re getting ready to act on our intel and raid the communications office we were sent to find. 

Magic Dick🍆🦾: Hit 'em at dawn when they’re least suspectin’ it, ya know?

>> Jesus Christ, baby! Be careful! 

Maybe it wasn’t a good thing you hadn’t gone on the mission– you didn’t even have the energy to imagine yourself having the energy to conduct a raid in your current state.

Magic Dick🍆🦾: Always, doll. Gotta get back to my best girl, don’t I?

>> You absolutely do. Cause if I found out you died, I will kill you.

Magic Dick🍆🦾: I have no doubt that if someone were to find a way to murder me from beyond my grave, it would be you.

Magic Dick🍆🦾: Shit. Sorry sweets, I gotta go.

Magic Dick🍆🦾: Try to have fun. I love you.

>> I love you too, Buckaroo.

You stared at the screen for a moment longer, but there was no further reply. Wonderful. Now you would be spending what little energy you absolutely did not have to spare worrying about Bucky’s safety.

Steve returned then, handing you a cold glass dripping with condensation. “It’s lemonade,” he said as you took a sip. “I know how much you like lemons.”

You smiled in thanks, but it came out more like a grimace. Steve noticed immediately.

“Are you alright? Does it not taste good? I could go get you something else…”

You put a reassuring hand on his arm. “No, Steve, the lemonade’s fine. Thank you for getting it for me; that was very thoughtful. It’s just,” you sighed, “I was texting Bucky. He and Carthage are running a raid on a communications office as we speak, and now I’m just nervous and worried about him.”

Steve’s brow creased. “Oh,” he said, though you could tell there was more behind the word than the single syllable would imply. “I didn’t realize the two of you had gotten back together.”

Fuck. You were by far too tired to be having this conversation. Squeezing your eyes shut for a moment, you decided it was time to confront the giant elephant that had been sitting between you and the Captain for far too long. “We haven’t, not officially, anyway, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t still love each other, in spite of everything that’s happened. We’re just working on building trust. Or rather, he’s working on building trust, and I’m working on determining if I can trust him again. It’s a process.”

Steve’s shoulders sagged, the movement so minute you would have missed it if you hadn’t been watching him so closely in the moment. You took a deep breath before you continued.

“Look, Steve,” you began, “I know about your feelings for me.” His eyes shot up to meet yours, and he opened his mouth to protest, but you gently held a hand up to stop him from speaking. You needed to get everything you had to say out while you still had the energy to do so. “I’ve known for a bit, and while I’m truly flattered, and honored, that you care for me, I’m also so sorry that I don’t feel the same way about you. You’re a good man. A wonderful man, and I know most people would tell me I’m an idiot for not reciprocating, but I just don’t share those feelings.”

“It’s because of Berlin, isn’t it?” he asked softly, not meeting your gaze, and for a moment, you could see the small, shy boy Bucky had told you about from his youth.

“Berlin altered our relationship, it’s true,” you told him, “but the nature of my feelings for you were cemented long before that. You’re my family, and do I love you, but I love you as a member of that family. The way I love Tony, and Nat, and Thor, but maybe a little better than I love Clint.” Steve chuckled softly at that, and you smiled, glad you could make him laugh even a little. “I’m sorry this isn’t the answer you want to hear, and I’m sorry that you’ve had to watch me be with your best friend. None of it was ever done with the intention of deliberately causing you pain, but at the same time, I need to do what’s going to make me happy, and I hope you can accept that, as my friend and a member of my family.”

Steve looked like he was going to argue with you for a moment, but he kept his mouth shut and just nodded. “Yeah,” he said eventually. “I can accept that. It hurts,” he chuckled humorously, “but I want both you and Bucky to be happy.”

“Thanks, Stevie,” you said, suppressing a yawn. “Holy shit, I’m tired. I think I’m going to call it a night. I put in enough time to fulfill my obligation to Tony.” You stood, but immediately stumbled, the motion of standing enough to make you dizzy.

Steve was instantly on his feet, an arm out to steady you. “I got you,” he said. He put a hand to your forehead, checking your temperature. “You don’t seem to have a fever, but I’m getting worried about you, Pocket. I should escort you down to med bay.”

You waved the suggestion off. “No, it’s fine. The last thing I want is a bunch of doctors poking and prodding at me all night. I’ll be fine, I just need to sleep.”

“You can barely even stand up on your own,” Steve protested. “Let me at least walk you back to your room. Make sure you get there without falling over.” You were going to tell him you’d be fine on your own when a wave of nausea overtook you.

“Yeah, okay,” you said, clutching tightly to his arm for support. You had planned on going over to Tony and Pepper to say a proper goodbye, but given the way you were currently feeling, an Irish one was going to have to do, instead. 

Steve put a hand to your back and led you out of the banquet hall. You had to stop more than once to steady yourself, and you were grateful for Steve’s assistance. By the time he’d walked you to your door, you were running on fumes.

“Do you need help getting inside?” he asked, looking worried.

“No,” you assured him. “I’ll be okay. I am literally just going to collapse into my bed. Might not even bother taking the dress off, to be honest.”

Steve blushed, and you regretted putting the idea of you getting out of your clothes into his head. “Well, if you’re sure,” he said, running a hand behind his neck, the movement so similar to Bucky that it threw you for a moment. “If there’s anything you need in the night, anything at all, don’t hesitate to call me, alright?”

“Sure, Steve,” you said as he placed a gentle kiss to the crown of your head. You were grateful for his help, but you knew that, even if you were suddenly dying, you would not, in fact, be calling him. “Thanks for your help.”

You wished each other a goodnight, and soon you were once again within the sanctuary of your room. Managing to summon the will from somewhere, you shimmied out of the dress, draping it over your vanity chair; it was, after all, probably far too expensive to either sleep in or leave in a puddle on the floor overnight. You debated whether or not to take the time to remove your face full of makeup but, God, your bed was just so inviting, you’d deal with the consequences in the morning.

<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->

[phantasmatoucan]

Can I ask whoever designs the voices (I think owl) how they came up with there designs?

HEY MOD OWL HERE, I THINK ILL PUT THIS IN A READMORE BC ITS GONNA BE LONG

FOR ALL OF THEM I HAD WIDELY DIFFERENT IDEAS BUT FOR MOST I HAD SOMETHING SPECIFIC IN MIND BE IT A THING OR A SYMBOL

HERO: FOR HIM I HAD OFC A KNIGHT IN MIND I WAS GONNA GIVE HIM A FULL HELMET BUT I WANTED FOR HIS EXPRESSIONS TO BE SEEN SINCE HES A VERY EXPRESSIVE PERSON IN GENERAL, I MANTAINED HIS EYES UNSEEN THO SINCE HERO IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO WILL FOLLOW THE DECIDER BLINDLY AND ONLY AT THE END IS WHEN HES FINALLY ABLE TO REACH HIS FULL POTENTIAL [which is if i did a drawing of one of the ends, heros visor would be lifted up] ALSO HES THE MOST HUMAN LOOKING SINCE THE LONG QUIET PROBABLY HAS A VAGUE IDEA OF WHAT A HERO LOOKS LIKE BUT HE PROBABLY THOUGHT IT LOOKS SIMILAR TO THE PRINCESS

SMITTEN: HEARTS, THATS BASICALLY ALL I HAD IN MIND FOR HIM, I LOVE DESIGNING CHARACTERS WITH HEART MOTIFS SINCE ITS FUN TO MESS AROUND WITH THAT [keep it simple or making it a bit more goreish] I WANTED HIM TO BE ROUND AND FRIENDLY SHAPED, THE HAT CAME FROM OLD ROMEO AND JULIET CLOTHES THAT I SAW IN IMAGES AND THE CLOTHES ARE MORE FROM OLD TIMEY BARDS, I HAD THOUGHT OF MAKING HIM A PEACOCK AT FIRST BUT DECIDED I PREFFER HIM LOOKING MORE LIKE A PIDGEON SINCE THEYRE MORE ROUNDER AND ARE MORE COMMON BIRDS THAT PEOPLE SEE EVERYWHERE, THEY APPROACH HUMANS MUCH MORE EASILY AS WELL

SKEPTIC: I WANTED TO GIVE HIM LIKE A DETECTIVE SHERLOCK HOLMES KIND OF FEEL, BUT WHEN I HEARD HIM MORE HE FELT MORE LIKE A NOIR DETECTIVE THAN THAT SO THE FEELING FOR HIM CHANGED [also fun fact his clothes are based on inspector gadget lol] HIS WINGS POINT DOWNWARDS SINCE I WANTED HIS SILHOUETTE TO FEEL MORE HOURGLASSISH FOR HIM, THE OWL PART CAME FROM THE FACT THAT MOST OF THE OWLS IVE SEEN IN MEDIA ARE STUDIOUS CHRACTERS OR ATLEAST TRYING TO LEARN SOMETHING, IN GENERAL I FEEL THE VYBE OF OWLS ARE VERY CURIOUS CREATURES SO I GAVE IT TO SKEPTIC WHO IS THE MOST INQUISITIVE CHARACTER OF THEM ALL

COLD: HARDEST TO GET DOWN I HAD A GRIMM REAPER IN MIND, WITH HIS COLD PERSONALITY, I WANTED HIM TO BE ONE OF THE TALLEST ONE AS WELL FOR HIM TO BE A LITTLE SPINDLY LOOKING, HIS HAS A LONG CLOAK AND WANT HIM TO BE COMPLETLY COVERED IN CLOATHING SINCE HES VERY MUCH CLOSED HIMSELF SO HE CAN BE UNFEELING AND DON'T FEEL ANY PAINT, THE ONLY OTHER PARTS THAT ARE VISIBLE APART FROM HIS FACE IS HIS ARMS WHICH HAVE LONG PLUMAGES SO IT LOOKS LIKE SLEEVES, AND HIS HANDS ARE LONGER AND MORE HUMAN LOOKING AND COMPLETLY WHITE [hard to notice since i draw them all in black in white lol] SO IT LOOKS LIKE SKELETON HANDS

OPPORTUSNIST: SINCE WE HAD AN IDEA OF WHAT HIS FACE LOOKED LIKE I WANTED TO GIVE HIM A BIG BIG SMILE FIRST WITH HIS LONG BEAK, I ALSO WANTED HIS CLOTHES TO BE VER FORMAL [so i went to look for tumblr sexy man clothes lmao] WITH HIS SLEEVES UP, SO THAT HE LOOKS LIKE HE MEANS BUSSINESS, HIS TAIL IS LONG AND DRAGS BEHIND HIM TO LOOK LIKE A LONG OVERCOAT, HIS WINGS ARE ALSO BIG AS WELL [atleast bigger than most of the voices] SO THAT HE TAKES A BIT MORE SPACE IN THE ROOM, I WANTED FOR HIM TO BE SOFFOCATING AND INTOXICATING TO LOOK AT lol, HES ALSO VERY FLUFFY WHICH IS MORE NOTICIBLE ON HIS NECK, SO THAT HE APPEARS A BIT MORE HARMLESS [under his regular clothes hes very fluffy as well] TO ALURE A SENSE OF FRIENDLINESS THAT CONTRAST THE REST OF HIMSELF LMAO

HUNTED: HARE WITH BUNNY, LITERALLY MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS A BIT OF A LLONG HARE WITH BIRD LIKE FEATURES, I WAS DEBATING IF GIVING HIM A SNOUT OR A BEAK WAS A GOOD IDEA BUT I WENT WITH THE SNOUT SINCE IT MAKES HIM MORE DISTINCT TO THE OTHERS [he also has sharp teeth like stubborn but theyre mostly barely visible since he usually doesnt open his mouth too much unless threatend] THE BANDAGES COMES FROM THE FACT THAT I WANTED ALL OF THE VOICES TO HAVE SOME TYPE OF CLOATHING THAT DEFIND THEM, BUT SINCE HUNTED WOULD HAVE NO CLOTHES I WENT WITH SOMETHING LESS NOTICIBLE

CHEATED: DISHEVELED LOOKING BIRD I WAANTED FOR HIM TO LOOK LIKE HE JUST GOT OUT OF A CAR CRASH SO THATS WHY HE HAS A LOT OF BANDAGES, I THINK I MAY CHANGE THINGS ON HIM TO SINCE I WANTED FOR HIM TO HAVE A SCAR ON HIS NECK THAT WOULD BE VISIBLE [since thats a way to get to the razor route] BUT FOR NOW SINCE ONE OF THE VOICES WHO IS ALWAYS THE UNLUCKIEST I MADE HIM THE SHORTEST OFC AND WITH CUTTED WINGS, WHICH ARE LITERALLY USELESS, HIS CHEST ALSO HAS BANDAGES BUT ARE NOT VISIBLE BC OF HIS CLOTHING

BROKEN: PENGUIN MAN, I WANTED HER SHAPE TO BE SIMILAR TO THIS ∩ WHICH MADE ME THINK OF PENGUINS AND THATS HOW HE CAME OUT, HE HAS LONG DROOPY EAR FEATHERS THAT ARE TATHERED SINCE IT WAS HARD TO DEMONSTRATE FOR ME HOW UNKEMPT SHE IS, HIS LONG CLOACK COVERS MOST OF HIS BODY WITH A PENGUIN LIKE PATTERN ON IT, HIS EYES HAVE WRINKLES AND HE ALWAYS LOOKS SAD OR UPSET BY SOMETHING, I WANTED HIM TO OCCUPY LITTLE SPACE SO HE FEELS VERY COMPACT IN HIS OWN DESIGN PARANOID: WANTED TO MAKE HIM LOOK VERY JUMPY AND WORRIED, I HAD AN IDEA FOR HER TO HAVE SPIKIER PLUMAGE LIKE AN EXPLOSION [which is how the plumage of her face came to be] SINCE HE SEEMS TO ALWAYS SO NERVOUS AND READY TO SCREAM AT ANYTHING AGREVATING HIM, HER LONGER EAR FEATHERS CAME TO BE BC I WANTED THEM TO WIGGLE WHENEVER HE WAS CONCENTRATING TO KEEP US ALIVE, I WAS ACTUALLY GONNA GIVE HER A LONGER TAIL LIKE AN ACTUAL FANTAIL PIDGEON, BUT CONSIDERING HOW HE IS I MADE THEM VERY SHORT TO GVIE THE IDEA THAT SHE PLUCKED THEM HIMSELF, ALSO HIS WINGS BEING SO CLOSE TO HIS BACK FOR COMFORT, THE PONCHO CAME MUCH MUCH LATER BC I DIDNT ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT CLOTHES TO PUT ON HIM, I THINK I SAW A CHARACTER I LIKE WITH A PONCHO [cant remember which one] AND WAS LIKE maybe he can have a tattered poncho AND THATS HOW IT CAME TO BE

STUBBORN: DRAGON!!! I REALLY WANTED EYE OF THE NEEDLE TO BE A BIG DRAGON LADY WITH WINGS SCALES AND SUCH BUT WHEN I SAW HER NOT HAVING THOSE I WAS A BIT DISSAPOINTED SO I GAVE IT TO STUBBORN LMAO, HES IS ABOUT AS BIG AS THE LONG QUIET PROBABLY LARGER THO lol, THE MACAW PART CAME FROM THE WAY HIS FACE IS SHAPED, SPECIFICALLY THE BEAK, HIS LOWER TEETH ARE MORE NOTICIBLE THAN HER UPPER ROW, HE IS SCARED OFC FROM THE BATTLE YOU HAVE BEFORE GOING INTO THE ADVERSARY, HIS CLOTHES ARE BASED ON BEOWULD FROM SKULLGIRLS ACTUALLY I WANTED HIM TO HAVE SOMETHING LIKE ANIMAL PELTS AROUND HIS WAIST, SO I WENT WITH A FLUFFIER DRAPES AROUND HIS SKIRT, HIS WINGS ARE IN SIMILAR SHAPE OR THAT OF A DEMON MORE THAN A BIRD SO THAT THEY LOOKED MORE DRAGONISH

CONTRARIAN: JESTER BC I LOVE JESTER AND OFC JESTER CONTRARIAN PROPAGANDA TOOK OVER MY BRAIN, AS I SAID MOD TOUCAN IS THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED THE HUMMINBIRD PART OF HIS DESIGN SO HIS WINGS ARE LONGER AND TAIL IS AS WELL, HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO I HAVE ACTUALLY COLORED AND THAT IS ON PURPOSE SINCE NONE OF THE OTHER VOICES HAVE COLORS, HE ALSO DOESNT HAVE A SET COLOR PALLETE SINCE HE CAN BE WHICHEVER COLOR HE PREFFERS AT THE MOMENT, HE ALSO DOESNT HAVE DIGITRADE LIKE FEET SINCE I WANTED SOME SIMILARITIES OF HIM AND HERO, HE STILL HAS BIRD FEET THO THAT WILL NOT GO AWAY lol, HIS BEAK IS POINTED UPWARDS AND HIS MOUTH IS NOT REALLY A REAL THING, ITS MORE A ABSTRACT LINE

[the-gayest-show]

The Haunting of Wells House/Best of Luck Review/Analysis

NEW EPISODES AGAIN YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

The Haunting of Wells House:

I love a fun episode to get my mind off the angst of Operation Birthday Take back!

The gag of this being a paranormal TV show were so great! So many minor things I loved like the "Paranormal Pursuit" show title they keep saying. Literally cracked me up the way they were saying it.

I also adore the interview gags, you cannot tell me this ain't so fitting for both of them!

"My local paper called my performance of Ebenezer Scrooge 'Not as bad as it could've been'" 😭

Her expression is golden.

Also the reference to that one painting from Cosmo and Wanda was a nice touch (I mean they already had The Scream up there before this)

(The original is called American Gothic, I had no idea! I knew the art piece generally but didn't know the name till I googled and it and suddenly boom that's the name. AND it's from the 1930s! Ain't that cool stuff!)

Jorgan reappearance! We haven't seen you in like. A bit. I'm pretty sure not since the fairy testing thing but I could be wrong. "Father Jorgan" I love how Wanda and Cosmo literally summon him for the sole purpose of "exorcising" a ghost fairy. Funniest shit on Earth fr. Bro was NOT built for the "Father" role. HE LITERALLY GETS "DA RULES" OUT INSTEAD OF A BIBLE IM CRYINNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Also why does bro just have like so many cassette tapes? Are they all cursed? Are more fairies trapped in tapes or something? And it's a LARGE collection. WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT MANY TAPES JORGAN WH-

Overall, this episode was fun as hell and I ADORED Hazel and her dad's dynamic together. Tbh it's so cute! Hazel is so enthusiastic about hunting for the apartment ghost with her dad it's so wholesome 🥺 I honestly love the father/daughter duo sm an episodic adventure episode is so nice. Also the TV segment thing was awesome af, enjoyed that a lot. I feel like it's probably in reference to Buzzfeed Unsolved or something.

Best of Luck:

Ohhhhh boy, Dev is back again! And it is NOT looking good! I found this episode to be kinda heartbreaking for many reasons. This entire episode essentially revolves around Dev wanting to make "rule breaking" wishes (eg. win the tournament and that t-shirt) but Peri (being normal about Da Rules) tells him he can't (because he can't) and Dev and Peri have a little fight in which Peri seems to quit. I find that looking back, he might've been crying?

Bro's got tears rolling down his face and everything!

And then he gets replaced with Minecraft Steve Foop Irep, who retains the cube shape he was born in (is this a glimpse into a potential timeline where Peri would've been a sphere?), and really hates his name change unlike his normal fairy counterpart.

HE SAYS HE'S MORE ATTRACTIVE 😭 If only he knew that Peri was a Tumblr sexy man and he.... isn't.

Anyway, Dev literally uses the anti-fairy powers of not giving a fuck about the rules to essentially wish his way into winning the stupid prize, while giving Hazel bad luck (which she manages to get past using good luck charms) and making her lose the tournament.

-

Important thing, let's talk about that scene after Dev wins. He's expecting Hazel to be upset about losing, like... really upset. When she's not that upset and takes losing normally, he lashes out at her.

He WANTS her to react like how he's been reacting to the thought of losing the competition. I think this is still a reaction to his dad being neglectful at the party (and he very likely hasn't stopped being absentee since then). He's projecting his own emotions, and rejecting Hazel's attempts to be nice.

"I don't need your caring and understanding, Hinkle!" (This is also a sign of Dev's detachment from Hazel, since he reverts back to the "everything but calling her Hazel" bit)

He's more happier with physical things rather than emotional. He seems to avoid the emotional wishes, likely a coping mechanism for the neglect, opting to use the rule free wishes of Irep to wish for money, love from some classmate (who he's never been shown to love back in any way before this), to be the King of America (bro really invented monarchy for a monarchy-less country. Crazy.).

And then he literally wishes for Cosmo and Wanda to be nothing! To kill them essentially! I think that's driven by Dev's idea that having two fairies is better than one (a concept I remember being battled on with Remy Buxaplenty and his one fairy), even if it isn't and they're all still bound to the same rules, and by some motivation to get back at Hazel, likely another projection of his feelings.

Just before the mini battle ends, Dev exclaims that he's "finally going to get everything [he's] ever wanted" and that they're ruining it for him. I think, deep down, Dev really wants his dad's affection. I've mentioned this before in the review I did for the Take back episode, but he seemed so devastated about the lack of attention from his father then and even way back from scavenger hunt episode when Dev and Hazel first bonded with each other. Personally, I think Dev was likely going to use Irep (and his ability to basically with whatever, in Dev's eyes) to wish his father could be different. I think that was the real goal, and all the physical stuff was for show and very surface level wishing.

Dev's rejection of Hazel eventually gets to Hazel herself, where she chucks the shirt at him and says "Fine! Take the dumb shirt! I hope it was worth it." Hazel is probably very much done with Dev for the time being, because she tried to reach out to him but she could see he doesn't want any of it.

Let's spawn in the question of Peri. Peri technically should act as a father figure or some kind of parental figure in this case, but he's defo been screwed over by the council for giving him this boy with issues and seems to resent him for constantly not listening when Peri says that some things are against the rules, which is why he temporarily takes a break. I know someone on a discord server pointed out that Peri isn't really bonded with Dev yet, and that really rings true.

You can see this when Peri pretty much ignores his godkid in favour of his parents (which I guess contextually could be described as just being wrapped up in convo, but knowing his track record it's likely the former). THE KID WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE! SAD! Peri, to me at least, doesn't seem like he's emotionally equipped for the job of truly being there for Dev. Cosmo and Wanda seemed way better at this in OG FOP, where they constantly looked out for Timmy, even if he was a bit of a brat at times. But Peri really does care, even a little, as evidenced by the fact that he was jealously watching over Dev while he was gone. He wanted him to call Peri back. I wonder if Peri will figure out how to adjust to being a more parental figures than he hoped, because for now it seems he's thinking about this more as a job than an actual child he has to take care of. I hope he'll improve that aspect of himself, especially concerning the finale.

-

NOW ON TO THINGS I NOTICED!

AYOOOOOO FLIPPED GENDER ROLES OF THE KNITTING AND READING NEWSPAPER LETS GOOOOOOOOO

It's also kinda weird to me that they sorta fly up and come out of the box at Hazel's school after this. It gave me the vibes of "we're living inside the box" but they aren't? Wasn't that their home? Anyways.

I said it once and will say it again: Irep is built like Minecraft Steve. You can't change my mind.

Mr Guzman is so happy at the new nickname lol. He's got that 😎 expression.

JORGAN YOU ARE BACK AGAIN. DOUBLE WHAMMY RETURN. TWO EPISODES IN ROW, KEEP UP THAT STREAK DAWG!

I guess there's a fairy HR too? And I thought the DMV was bad enough. Placing my bets on a fairy godparent union now.

Overall this episode had a lot for me to ponder on and now I wonder what Dev's gonna do with the information about anti-fairies he's gonna collect (how the fuck are the o-pears gonna know shit about this anyway). One of the episodes is Irep and Dev taking over fairy world, so I guess minecraft Steve is gonna make a reappearance, plus Dev will likely try to take over Fairy World with the same vulnerable-ish state he's in. I LOVE the plot thickening! FUCK YEAH BITCHES WE GETTING LORE

[theyanderespecialist]

Can you make it's on own story on archive of our own? Name the story "Dusk till dawn! I MAKE YOU BE MINE" and can you make reader a photographer and make them gender neural (the normal verse)

All the detail i want:

-SCP 085 trying to persued reader to become a vampire like him when he going to die by SCP 298 music and reader act like "Why would I want to be pathetic like you?"

-Reader splash SCP 085 with cat urine and garlic juice and riding the back of SCP 682 and confused to why everyone say they behaved recklessly and a potential liability.

-Dr bright bet five grand that reader wouldn't be able to throw cat piss at SCP 083 and reader infact actually splash the liquid onto SCP-083.

-SCP 682 is asexual (He doesn't know what that mean) and he hated that he having very sexual thought about reader and that he wanted to breed them.

-Dr clef being overprotective of reader.

-Dr iceberg hatred for reader turnd into a lovesick obsesseon.

(Sorry for taking this very long to answer because I didn't know you already answer my ask)

Title: Obsessive Photo: Various Yandere SCP X Non-Binary Researcher Reader

Summary: Dr. (Name) (Last Name) is a Researcher at The Foundation. Once They take a bet with Dr. Kondraki against Dr. Bright that they could throw piss on a certain SCP. They knew how to win it with ease. This is the night their life began to change. And Maybe not for the better. With SCPS and Staff falling into obsessive love with this Researcher.

Find It On Archive Of Our Own:

here is the teaser but the rest will not be posted here!

TEASER:

(No One's POV)

(Name) was sitting in their office with Dr. Benjamin Kondraki when Dr. Jack Bright came into the two doctors' offices. (Name) was working on their camera and looked up at Jack they smiled.

"What are you doing here Bright man?" They ask Bright.

"I am here to give you a new case, SCP 83 wants to request you." He says.

(Name) frowns and snatches the files from Jack. "Why would he want me, I am not a woman." For a little personal info (Name) was intersex but identified as non-binary, they had both working parts though, and a small chest, which was held together with a sports bra with ease since they are so small.

"He must have heard something," Bright says. "So I have a bet for you."

"And what would that be?" (Name) asks raising one of their eyebrows.

"I bet you five grand and a date you cannot throw cat piss on him," Jack smirks. "You cannot do it, I get to go on a date with you, if you do, you get five grand."

"I will throw in five grand that (Name) can throw cat piss on him, if I lose you get 5 grand and If I win I get five grand." Kondraki butts in.

"Sounds good to me." (Name) says and stands up. "I expect to have my five grand by lunch, Bright."

They walk out and both of the two males glare at each other and go back to work.

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS here is the teaser I will also post the teaser and link to Archive of our own version on Tumblr! I hope you all enjoyed this and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!]

[clarajohnson]

the magicians s1e4

filed under episodes you couldn't make today and that you shouldn't have made then. not that i don't love it because I DO but whew

watercolors!

(hamster who was turned into a human boy voice) no, my life is my life, this is--

i do think we need to grapple with how dumb tutting looks out of context

that napkin full of technicolor pills would've done numbers on 2014 tumblr at least

the physical kids is as suggestive a name for that group as they deserve

the moths are real bad !!!!!

ALICE'S BROW RAISE. i'm gonna find a screenshot of it i can't let it go

that's an episode of lost in space-- star trek-- what?-- that's an episode of star trek-- fine, that's an episode of star trek

there is so much eyebrow acting in this episode actually

in my first watch i was so pro-julia the whole time because quentin hadn't become an all-time little meow meow for me yet god this was always a terrible thing for her. the fake engagement is a particularly cruel dig like... how can i torture q the most? tell him nothing that's brought him joy and purpose in the last few years was real, tell him he's being left behind, tell him people are moving forward without him, everyone else knows how to be normal but him

ohhhhhhh julia did you want to see the fireworks? did you? rookie gaslighting mistake miss wicker

laughing at you? what kind of a friend would do that? AND THEN THE SMIRK ohhhhh she and marina could have been so good together

one thing that's real? you're always a raging dick

someone in the discord said penny is leaning into it so hard and i have to agree like... they should not have done this but at least arjun gets to have fun

[whispers] hashtag agree

in 2015 singing shake it off was one of the strangest things a man on television could do but eight years later it just seems like me watching myself in my apartment any given friday night

i understand the logistics that inhibit the pairing but alice and eliot had so much potential like at LEAST platonically

okay all of the stuff above was awful of julia but actually the most awful thing was making q think he'd harm his father (and that that harm was linked to magic use! which will come back around when magic shuts off!)

penny helping by shouting at quentin as loud and aggressively as he can :-) you racist motherfucker !!!!!!

julia and marina having a sexy raspy voice-off

high-end designer cooperative magic... said while wearing her little leather bondage outfit... hitting on kady... affectionately, you melodramatic cunt

our little q :-) he knows where he would take him on a first fucking date

do we know what marina's discipline was/would've been? ik it's not like (barf) hogwarts houses or whatever but i'm curious where brakebills placed her

jesus christ i didn't remember he was gonna get a fucking lobotomy

there's a lot of eye horror in this show which is just the worst

ughhhh bad episode for julia

god eliot is so obvious right from the start it is insane... patting q's head giving him things... fuckin loverboy

poor you and your taste of honey worse than none at all :-( marina they could NEVER make me hate you

[ladyluscinia]

Tell me if you've seen this one.

You're watching a romcom. A beautiful woman with a wealthy, city-boy fiancé goes to visit family in a small town. (Let's be honest... It's Christmas. It's basically always Christmas.) While there, she has an instant connection with the film's hot small-town love interest and starts reevaluating her city life. Does the fiancé work too much, or not like dogs? (Does he not understand the joy of Santa Claus?) At the movie's end, she makes a dramatic choice to break off her engagement, quit her job, and move back home to date the guy who was obviously the only love interest in play all movie long.

It's a very standard romcom love triangle.

It's also the kind of love triangle that OFMD is setting up, with Izzy and Stede antagonizing each other and representing two possibilities for Edward to choose... all the way down to how the final choice has been pretty obvious from the start. He's going to end up with Stede. (And hopefully have an overall better written arc than the one described above. That's a standard romcom, but not often a good one!)

Now, this works because love triangles are a narrative tool. They can be purely a source of shipping drama (especially in a drama genre) like tumblr fandoms seem to define them as, but that's only one variation, and far from the most interesting. Or even, I would argue, the most common.

So let's get into what love triangles actually are, and how this applies.

---

I would say most stories - especially character focused ones - use a love triangle as a way to take an abstract choice the protagonist needs to make, and give it some grounded symbolism in the love interests.

Hell, even in its most basic forms, there is a reason the most classic love triangles are a man choosing between Good Girl "Betty" vs Bad Girl "Veronica" or a woman choosing either the Respectable Gentleman or the Sexy Scoundrel. Which love interest the author makes endgame will correlate pretty strongly with whether the story ends on social conformity or encouraging passion, and social conformity always has the edge. This comes through even when the character differences are mostly personality, but it will get a lot more blatant if something like "finding a spouse" is a major plot point and we start getting material concerns like finances involved.

OFMD, though, is not really being basic about this - the ship for a "social conformity" option has long sailed, for one - so what are some more complex choices?

First, we can loop back to the small town Christmas romcom from the start. The men are potential lifestyles. The protagonist starts in very career / finance focused place with a partner from the same. They won't have children or be planning for them. The new guy is small town living - community, family, holidays, etc. He's got a respectable working class job. Maybe a kid. He'd be traumatized by an urban public transport map but he can probably ride a horse. These movies are targeted at small town housewives, so the "better" lifestyle is that one.

Or, another great example, the options can symbolize political or moral values. This also gives you a nice out from the love triangle when one love interest proves their unworthiness by finally crossing a line the protagonist won't. The Hunger Games had shades of this and fans definitely picked up on it (though I definitely remember being a "ditch them both" truther myself, lol).

And what about character growth? This can come into play when a story is about a protagonist fixing their life or self-improving. It's why - seemingly paradoxically - the established relationship is almost always expected to lose out to the new person in their life, despite being, well, established. They end up paired with the one who knows them as who they are becoming, not who they used to be.

...I think I've made my point about symbolism.

So. Back to OFMD! You'll probably notice all of the above could apply to BlackBonnet - Stede being the better lifestyle and values is kind of his whole thing, what with the acceptance boat culture and all (even if Stede himself needs to work on practicing as he preaches). Plus Edward is on an arc of self-improvement to fit into that culture. This is why absolutely nobody is going to be shocked that he doesn't end up with Izzy. But I do think (or at least hope 🫠) that the writing is good, and that's probably going to entail a bit of complexity in the choice.

The choice being "Stede, Stede, 100% definitely Stede, why would I even hesitate?" is rather boring. Especially since they have to make Edward hesitate so the show has a plot and stakes, and that's how you get plot contrivances and drawn out drama between two people (despite framing them as perfect for each other).

Conversely, if choosing Izzy aka his current life (the competing love interest angle is barely subtextual with the wife comparisons) actually has some appeal for Edward, then even though the endgame is obvious, it still makes sense why he's hanging back. It gives him a conflict with Stede / Stede's life that can take time to resolve, and one that will slot really nicely into the main story beats of a romcom. Edward is struggling a lot with identity, so tying the two men to different aspects he needs to choose between for himself is very compelling. (I'm just gonna drop my main Edward meta here.)

And, finally, how they handle the choice part is going to inform what they do with Izzy once Edward picks Stede. Yeah, there are the love triangles that make the bad option a horrible person, destroy their life, and skip away to the happy ending, but those can be kind of fucked up? And I think an unsympathetic ending for Izzy is unlikely for a few reasons... But that's a different meta.

(Maybe they should just OT3 for us??? 😆)

Anyway... This is why anyone starting from the stance that OFMD is not doing a love triangle because there's not actually a chance of BlackHands endgame has fundamentally misunderstood the argument being made, which unfortunately has been a common point of dispute. And with Season 2 coming I imagine it will come back with a vengeance, so I'm getting this out of my drafts now. 😘

Here's to love triangle shenanigans!!!

[itspkuwu]

EEnE characters ranked (MY OPINION)

Let’s cut right to the chase, because I really wanna put this out there.

Lee Kanker is in last place. She gets lower than F tier. Where Marie and May had moments where they seemed to genuinely care about each other, Lee just sits there, manipulates, and spreads cruelty. And as for the times where Marie and May were fighting/being mean etc? Well, I have a theory. Remember in Big Picture Show where we see that Lee has a third eye? You know who else has a third eye for no good reason…?

DEMONS. LEE IS AN ACTUAL DEMONIC MENACE WHO BRAINWASHES HER SISTERS JUST TO MAKE OTHERS FEEL MISERABLE. AND EVEN THEN SHE MISTREATS HER “MINIONS” TOO.

And remember when Nazz kissed Double D and Eddy on the cheek? Compare that to how they react to the Kanker’s kisses. How big those lips are… that specific shade of red… the way the Ed boys become horrified every single time…

THE LIP STICK IS CREATED BY LEE AND HAS DARK MAGIC INSIDE OF IT. THATS MY THEORY. IM STICKING TO IT. SCREW YOU LEE.

(that was a joke lolol)

Everybody in the “lol why” tier it’s just an object that isn’t Plank or I haven’t seen those episodes yet. So I can’t really give my thoughts yet.

Rolf’s animals get their own tier. They have an amazing caretaker :3

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH DORK DORK DORK DORK ITS KEVIN DJDJUDUFHDBRJRIRID.

He’s just a jerk lol.

Eddy’s brother (whose name is apparently Tarry??) is also a jerk. But he makes a pretty cool antagonist. And he just makes me like Eddy even more.

also i feel like he would be a tumblr sexy man

Mildred blinks at you :D

Plank is an immortal God who will one day rule the world. This is my canon.

I REALLY wish we could have seen more of what happened to Jonny post Big Picture Show. Him being “The Gourd” and having a villain arc just sounds super fun. Other than that he’s just a weird kid. I like him.

Don’t let Jimmy fool y’all. He’s a lil maniac. He probably gets it from Sarah. And it’s always a shocker to me given how much he acts so innocent and harmless. He’s a pretty neat anti hero.

I KNOW I SHOULD HATE SARAH. But I feel like there’s more to her than meets the eye. I honestly think her parents taught her the hate her big brother. If they weren’t around, she probably wouldn’t been to mean to him. Making me feel extremely sympathetic for both of them. And at least she looks after Jimmy, giving her redeeming qualities.

To be honest this show needs a character like Nazz. Everything has to be balanced out with someone who isn’t constantly out to get something, being mean, or acting like a weirdo. But yes, she does have her moments, which are rightfully deserved. Plus, I just really like her chill and hippie way of going about.

Marie Kanker and May Kanker are being ranked together. The potential they have to be redeemed is through the roof. They deserve so much better. If Lee wasn’t around to mess with their heads, I think they would be truly happy. Marie could spend her days jamming out and living on the edge, while May is cute and ditzy and a voice of reason at times. Plus both of their hairstyles are really eye candy for me.

The Ed boys are also being ranked together. What else can I say that hasn’t been said already? The way these three bounce off of each other is extremely enjoyable and definitely gets good laughs out of me. I know they have their moments where they aren’t so friendly, but you don’t always have to get along with someone for you to still love them. And when the gentle giant goof, the soft hearted nerd, and the selfish man with a heart of gold do get along, it’s sweeter than jawbreakers :)

AND NOW WE HAVE ARRIVED AT THE TRUE GOD. THE LIGHT IN DARK TIMES. THE DIAMOND WITHIN THE DIRT. THE ONLY BOY ON THE SHOW WITH A GOOD HAIRCUT.

ROLF. THE SON OF A SHEPHERD.

Rolf is hands down one of if not the best side character in animation history. He’s a goober for one thing. But a goober that’s gets us to take him seriously. You do not mess with this man. His pride is enough to break you leg. And yet, he still manages to be one of the nicest characters in the show. He’s so friendly and upbeat! And when he isn’t… his dark side is also a fun time.

And another thing, he’s a fish out of water. Which also allows the viewer to feel sympathetic for him. Like in Wish You Were Ed. Seeing Rolf cry is something you’d never think you’d see, but when you do, it makes you feel a somber emotion you had no idea existed. It’s amazing.

yeah, Rolf is amazing.

Also I asked my sister if she wanted to dance to That’s My Horse at her wedding and she said no. What a loser right?

So uh, that’s my list. Hope you enjoyed.

Go hug a chicken.

[astro-royale]

「Elvis Presley: Moon+Venus sign analysis

Hello my Royalties (followers of my blog will now be referred to as Royalties) because you’re a one of a kind STAR (Astro means star) ;))

Have you guessed I have a Leo in Venus placement…

I will be starting a series where I will be analysing the moon + venus signs of male celebrities and their dating track record..

I believe by doing so we can truly understand certain placements and we can learn how to now interpret them not just metaphorically but quite literally in our personal lives.. we can learn what to stay away from, potentially save our lives. Or we can find our best match

And what better way to start than with the King of Rock n Roll… Elvis Presley

Elvis Presley was a Pisces Moon with A Capricorn Venus…

Now the moon sign in a man’s chart tells us what kind of personality a man is typically drawn to

And the venus sign informs us on preferences in regards to appearance…

His Pisces moon in 2 degrees of Taurus indicates he had a preference for mysterious, withdrawn and shy women, women which seem to be in need of protection.

The 2 degrees in taurus also points to women who can easily be possessed as well as women who he could easily secure and guide, women that he could invest in.

Which is definitely very true as he is known for his questionable relationship to Priscilla Presley. He pretty much guided her into being his “perfect girl” , shaping her personal style, taste in music, what she wore.. and she was pretty much hidden in his home for a big part of their relationship until they got married.

Even with his other girlfriends, they were all very easily influenced and able to manipulated and shaped due to their young age, which goes back to that 2* degrees Taurus of stability and investing into something so it grows over time… a little creepy but yeah I’m pretty much just quoting history.

I was inspired to write this post because I have recently watched a series on Prime with his ex girlfriends talking about their experience of him which made me want to ,,, look at his chart.

The 2* in taurus also points to women from the countryside or women with very simple backgrounds which again is very true in his case… and for his girlfriends which had a bit more status, well they were usually involved in some kind of art but SPECIFICALLY singing with that Taurus because Taurus rules the throat. And that was again true.

Now his capricorn venus shows us that he would prefer a mature look on a woman in terms of her style, women wearing leather and dressed in darker shades, also somewhat traditional, also preference for a darker hair colour.

Example: He made Priscilla dye her hair so it was darker

With this placement being in 29 degrees in Leo it does have a grandiosity to it, okay, so this could mean women with grande hairstyles (Priscilla was really known for that beehive). And the 29 degrees in Leo also points to colours that really stand out even if they were in darker shades, it could just be colours with depths to them like purple, blues etc and it could also mean mixing shiny details with darker colours, like gold on black and so on. Which ya know, Elvis was quite notorious for his flashy outfits,,

Priscilla did state that despite her being underage, Elvis would make her wear mature and sexy clothes. Well.. that goes back to that 29 degrees in Leo. There’s a big contrast between that Capricorn venus and Leo degree because it denotes that he likes a woman who embodies traditional values but still appears flashy and is in the spotlight.

Hey guys! Please keep in mind a lot of time and energy goes into this research :) I love being able to share it with everyone and I want to keep sharing my knowledge unconditionally which is why I haven’t created a Tumblr+.

Consider supporting me by booking a Tarot Reading or leaving a tip by clicking the Tip Button

IG: astr0royale

I also do pick a card readings on YouTube and it would mean the world if you checked that out

Thank you and much love to you all.

[arsenalgbt]

Aaron and David are really interesting to me but not as a sexy porny couple. I feel like their potential for heart-breaking angst is untapped by evil people like me who would giggle while writing it. I had this asking explaining it all written out but my laptop died and I lost it so now I have to try recreate the magic of it. I see them having very slow and sensual love making scenes to contrast the anger and the hurt and the emotion that exists between them. Aaron feels like David has taken something from him and being mad at Mikel isn't smart because Aaron needs Mikel to be impressed by him and part of that includes his character and how Mikel seems him so he smiles and gets on with things while secretly loathing David. Slowly but surely faking positive feelings turns into him having such feelings for David. They view their thing very differently though, David feels like Aaron has made his transition to Arsenal easier and that Aaron is the reason Arsenal feels like home. Aaron harbours resentment towards David and hates that when he fucks him that he's giving so much pleasure the man that stole his pleasure from him by taking his spot on the team. David signs his contract for a permanent move thinking that Aaron is happy to be a number 2 as long as he's number 2 to him. Aaron tells his agent to get him a club, any club, after he fucks David to celebrate his contract. David thinks it's a welcome fuck, it's a goodbye fuck. David learns about the Southampton move from social media. David is now at Arsenal, throwing himself into work and avoiding getting too close to anyone to avoid getting hurt again. Aaron has what he thought he wanted, no loss on the field even comes close to the pain of letting himself lose David though - 💙🤍KT anon

ASJJDSAJKFKJSDFLA AJSFKASJDFKASJDFAKSFDJKA AJKSFJKDASJKFKJAKJ yeah this is exactly what I'm talking about. ofc, angst with a sprinkle of porn as per!!!!!!! so perfect.

being mad at Mikel isn't smart because Aaron needs Mikel to be impressed by him and part of that includes his character and how Mikel seems him so he smiles and gets on with things while secretly loathing David. Slowly but surely faking positive feelings turns into him having such feelings for David. They view their thing very differently though, David feels like Aaron has made his transition to Arsenal easier and that Aaron is the reason Arsenal feels like home. Aaron harbours resentment towards David David signs his contract for a permanent move thinking that Aaron is happy to be a number 2 as long as he's number 2 to him.

fuck yeah THAT is so poetic. so cruel. so naive. Aaron has to leave for the story to work. by leaving, he gets to experience the void. by leaving, not only does he get his petty revenge, but also a surprise heartbreak. I'm hearing Aaron is actually injured right now? that's a recipe of disaster. David drives down south to be with Aaron on his day off, in his head, in his defence, he's 'helping' Aaron with his training to recover from his injury. Aaron doesn't actually spat at him when David shows up on his front door - the rebound sex is earth shattering though, they make it work with Aaron's injury (David riding him cough). exactly. EXACTLYYYYYYYY

or we can always leave it at that. at Aaron leaving. at David finding out the done deal the here we go from the media. damn.............. the angstification of such a niche ship with approximately 3 passengers............................ thank you for this. amazing!!!!!

PS. LISTEN IT'S TE SECOND TIME UR WRITING SOMETHING EPIC AND EITHER UR LAPTOP/PHONE/TUMBLR ATE THEM LMAOOOOOOOOOOO MAY I SUGGEST A RISK PREVENTION ACTION??????? maybe write it first somewhere safe............. always cmd a + cmd c no matter what........ please I can't............ I need................ I'm so serious...

[gemini-twinz]

HELLO DURARARA FANDOM! MYSELF AND @psychedelic138 BRING YOU A FRESH NEW AU TO PLAY WITH TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT! Introducing: Shizu-tan AU!! Also known as Shizu-tan's Sweet Home

This AU is inspired by works such as Chobits, The 5th Element, Tarzan, and Kyle XY, and uses the trope commonly referred to as "Born sexy yesterday" in which a fully adult being with no basic human knowledge (speaking, reading, eating etc) must be nurtured and taught everything by a sort of caretaker. Normally the two parties also fall in love, but it is not a requirement.

Shizu-tan AU is an alternate universe where Shizuo is a lab grown test-tube superhuman titled Unit 4-Z-0 who is brought out of stasis due to the Nebula merge, when all experiments must be ceased and destroyed, or put into hiding. Upon waking him up, the scientists realize 4Z0 is a completely blank sleight. Shingan pities the experiment, and offers to take 4Z0 off their hands, thinking he can keep him with Shinra for the time being.

While Shinra is fascinated with 4Z0 and nicknames him Shizuo as a play on his serial number, he does not have the room or time to take care of Shizuo, more focused on Celty, and so constructs a plan to convince Izaya to take him in. Izaya is reluctant to take Shizuo in as he doesn't perceive the lab grown man as being human, but Shinra manages to convince him, using Shizuo's blankness and potential to be anything as a selling point. Izaya must then start the seemingly impossible journey of teaching Shizuo to be human, even if it's a fool's game! He refers to Shizuo as Shizu-tan from then on, likening him to a mascot or pet, rather than a human. From here it can branch off in many ways depending on your taste.. Changes to DRRR canon include: 🐶 Shizuo has a barcode on his chest that displays his serial number in place of the scar Izaya gave him in drrr canon, since they did not meet in school in this timeline. The barcode is a constant reminder of his status as non-human. (when truly, he is human!) 🐶 Shizuo has no belly button, due to being lab grown 🐶 there is no Heiwajima family line 🐶 Since the school context is missing, we thought it more appropriate if Izaya nicknamed him like a cartoon mascot or pet, thus, Shizu-tan.

After the main set up, the story can go many different ways. Our personal choice is the Doomed Timeline; where Izaya is the Satan of caretakers, finding any way possible to make sure Shizuo feels anything but human, from messily dying his hair blond and leaving burns, to buying him bright red clothing with warnings sewn on to keep others away. And of course, a heaping dose of emotional manipulation, demanding Shizuo's success, but setting him up to fail. That is until Shizuo has enough, and turns his massive strength against Izaya in a fight that nearly destroys Ikebukuro. Maybe something changes in Izaya that day.. That's just our story though!

Once we finished planning this RP, we KNEW we had to share the AU with everyone! We hope you enjoy it, and if you want to share any art or fics about it use the tags #shizutanAU , #DRRRSTAU , and #STAU on both Tumblr and Twitter! We would love to see your takes!! Welcome to your sweet home 🙂

[candlemouse]

fablehaven sexy man march madness bracket

Now let me explain…

1. This was made before the first poll closed and I am sticking to it even if it is now incorrect.

2. I will put a ✅ or an ❌ if the prediction was correct or incorrect.

Ahem…

First Round

Ronodin must win. The Sphinx is no sexy man. I think this one is self-explanatory. ✅

Come on, guys. Dale? Dale versus my first literary crush and absolute charmer Warren? Warren is everything a sexy man can be. Charming, handsome, funny, a little fruity at times—ideal man. Ideal Tumblr man ✅

Again, easy one. Navarog is such a strong contender. He is young, he is twink. He is again someone my young self would have absolutely blasted across all of your feeds if I had tumblr. Celebrant is great—but not great enough. ✅

Okay, I saw the results for this. I am disappointed, Fablehaven fandom. Hugo over Raxtus? Imagine a fairy boy raxtus anime drawing. That has such tumblr potential. Hugo—big dirt baby. Adorable dirt baby. But not a sexy man. ❌

Now, Bracken and Garreth is tough. Because logically I do know that Bracken is the number one love interest. However, I feel, in my heart, that if Fablehaven was much bigger and had a screen presence maybe, Garreth would be the best friend everyone would want to see Kendra with. Sure, does he have any personality in canon? No. And that is absolutely perfect for Tumblr sexy man. He can be anything you want. He is baby girl and sexy man all at once. Now, as we head into the runoff for this one, I am counting on you all. (this one was a tie) (Also, I have written literally the only two works on ao3 that have Garreth in them so I do in fact feel a personal stake in this) (please)

Patton and Tanu. Tanu is amazing, but Patton, again, guys, let’s think back to your first read as maybe a young one. Maybe it was just me, but Patton was literally dream guy in big, cursive letters. He may have lost the sexy man competition, but he has a place in my heart. ❌

Errol and Mr. Lich is interesitng because they’re both dependent on very little canon screen time. I would even say that Errol probably has more. But I am thinking of a Fablehaven show, and I am thinking of the edits of Mr. Lich standing silently beside the Sphinx and edits that like zoom in on the brief touches between the two. Anyway ✅

For Newel and Doren, I honestly have no feelings. In my head, the only difference is that Newel got rabies in the second or third book (third. I think. GOTSP) and Doren didn’t. I think Doren is more baby girl and Newel is more “oh god, what is that?” Either way, it’s a coin toss for me. I guess it just depends if people were into Newel in rabid mode. ✅

Now it’s harder to go past the first round, seeing as some of my predictions were already wrong. However, I will give my case for what I think are the strongest contenders.

In order of weakest to strongest:

As aforementioned, Patton is dreamboat, at least in my memory. Let’s forget all the thinking I did after i first read it about the coercion in him and Lena’s relationship and instead focus on how I felt before I examined the book at all. And how I felt was enamored! Super cool guy, but I think what is holding him back is his age. And that we see him super old. Kind of kills the attraction.

Next, Warren. Warren is literally sexy man. He is the sexy man before Navarog shows up. Because let’s be real, when I first read that Kendra had that little crush on him, I wasn’t thinking “oh my god, he’s your cousin!” That wasn’t even crossing my mind. I was thinking, me too girl!

Now, we have Navarog. Gavarog. My sweet baby boy Gavin. Gavin is a stuttering love interest that turns out to be a demon dragon. He is literally gorgeous lovers to enemies, and if Fablehaven had any screen presence—the absolute amount of edits you would see of him would be insane. As he would deserve.

Finally, what is there to say about Ronodin? He checks every mark and I will be so incredibly surprised if we does not come out on top. He inserts sexual tension into literally any scene he’s in (no I have not read the fifth book, no I have not read that proposal scene) and he is such sexy man. So many Fablehaven characters are closer to baby girl, male wife, girl boss, but Ronodin? He is ultimate Fablehaven Sexyman

Share your thoughts! And thank you to @carolinelikesdinner for organizing @fablehaven-sexyman. Absolute delight in my spring break!

Also it was insane seeing just how close literally all the polls were. The division!

[bthump]

I saw that one really long tumblr ask involving Casca and Griffguts so I wanted to add a different perspective. At this point from a narrative standpoint I am personally more annoyed with how Casca was treated after the eclipse than during the eclipse. The eclipse was an event specifically designed to put the band of the hawk through the worst suffering possible so the horrible stuff that happened to Casca had a purpose. What I don't like is that Casca's regression was never used as an opportunity to explore more of her character. Even if she had regressed to the point of a two year old she would've still had noticeable personality traits. Something as simple as giving her a favorite color or an object she really likes would've made so much of a difference in that regard. It would've made people reading the manga after the eclipse a little more sympathetic to Casca because they truly got to see bits of her. She clearly had basic emotions and instincts during her regression but it sucks that was never built upon.

Although I enjoy Gutsca, Golden Age Griffguts and Golden Age Griffgutsca I think Gutsca would be the best one to make canon. At this point I think Griffith has destroyed too much of himself to get the love he had wanted from Guts (and especially not from Casca if some interpretations are to be believed). In the canon of Berserk it wouldn't be fair for Guts to be with a man who traumatized him so completely unless the writers wanted to make a dark character study. At least with Casca they can mutually heal from the scars the sacrifice left. And even then Guts still has more growing to do if he doesn't want to destroy himself like Griffith did. It's honestly quite sad.

Also I really don't understand why people discredit the female characters of Berserk so much??? Even if there are hiccups in Casca's story she, Farnese and Charlotte are like my favorite characters in the series. They're all so well designed from a narrative perspective and they're also all just pretty neat. It's just sad that people in the fandom victim blame Casca. Or define her based off of Griffith or Guts. If anything her potential personal arc should culminate in her gaining more self esteem.

Yeah I get that, I think Casca's "character" post-Eclipse has been absolutely dismal writing, and honestly those are some good ideas for how the writing could've been imporved. I hate the regression concept in general, but it's true that it doesn't mean Casca needs to have absolutely no characterization beyond generic sexy baby and maternal instincts lol.

And tbf I don't think very many griffgutsers expect Guts and Griffith to end up together in a romantic capacity - a homoerotic emotional revelation followed by death seems to be the going theory in my circle at least, and that's what I'm pinning my hopes on. But when it comes to fanfic and headcanons, griffguts is straight up a lot more fun to me, so that's what I focus on.

Plus for me personally I'm not super interested in what the characters deserve, so I like the love still irrationally being there regardless of the Eclipse and Griffith's transformation, and I do think that's canon - platonic love at least. Guts' feelings are mixed, and the Beast of Darkness taunts him for longing for Griffith, and he still misses human Griffith, etc, and I think that suits the tone of the story very well. I don't think a happily ever after is likely to come from it, but a moment of catharsis where those feelings are untangled and likely still requited to an extent before a climactic death scene sounds right up my alley.

But yk, to each their own, there's room for a lot of different takes in the fandom.

As far as the female characters go, I think they're better than a lot of female characters in similar stories tbf, and I definitely love a lot of them, but I do think they're sometimes awkwardly written, and sometimes in misogynist ways (eg Casca's retconny suicide attempt, Farnese's total 180 from complicated fucked up pyromanic to caretaker after one montage, the vast majority of Berserk's women being motivated by crushes on men, etc). There's lots to love, but also lots to feel annoyed by imo, depending on what you're focused on, so I can't blame anyone who wants to complain about how Miura writes women, and I can't blame anyone who wholeheartedly loves the female characters either.

Anyway thanks for sharing your opinions as a counterpoint, it's good to hear different + thoughtful points of view, whether I agree with everything or not!

[donnerpartyofone]

A random and harmless tumblr thing that has started to get under my skin is image or gif sets that are just 5-10 slightly different closeups of an attractive actor looking attractive. My automatic reactions to this phenomenon have been

1. "Man, this is the most boring and primitive way to be attracted to someone, sexiness is a package deal that involves body language, clothes, speech, narrative or social context, and all kinds of other things, you're completely missing a person's actual appeal if you reduce them to just every time they're doe-eyed and moutbreathing," and

2. "People who post like this are probably kids though, I remember being 12 or whatever and having this kind of reaction to like David Duchovny where he was almost just ornamental to me, even though I did like more than just his face, I shouldn't get annoyed about this."

which sounds like a good resolution and I almost left it there, but then I saw a set like this of the most boring hot-person closeups from one of my all-time favorite movies, which made the complicatedly-sexy movie itself seem really boring, and it made me feel like yet again some creepy little fandom dweeb had vandalized a great work of art by reducing it to its most potentially pornographic elements, so now I've given myself permission to be mad.

[probablyaseamonster]

Things I just realized:

1) Cleo and Bdubs are currently divorcing again

      PS: I will be pissed if Bdubs wins not just because Cleo deserves the W but        also because Bdubs beat out so many people when he’s really a skrunkly)

2) If Cleo and Joe win the battle will be legendary, especially immediately after Crastleduo

      PS: I don’t watch Cleo or Joe’s videos but I KNOW they have something

3) Quackity and Joe Hills are two tropes of sexyman: corrupt capitalist with tragedy vs weird enigma eldritch energy, and both are valid

4) Quackity is the last non-Hermit standing

      (not saying Take Out The Big Guys for the sake of Dominion and Lifesteal            but I’m also not NOT saying it)

5) If Scar and Mumbo win it’ll be the mayoral campaign all over again 

      (Desertduo may not have happened but they had Double Life so I think now        the duos are even)

6) Doc is probably not going to win against the sheer force of people wanting #5 to happen

      PS: In my opinion Doc is more of a tumblr sexyman than Scar. Scar gives            me the same vibes as Reigen: Twitter sexyman, too traditionally sexy.                  Doesn’t quite have that punch.

7) If Scar somehow loses and the Ethogirls win out, NHO.

      PS: I know next to nothing about the NHO, and I’m not even considering the        potential of Bdubs losing against Cleo. There will be uproar, and deserved.

            PPS: Although... the potential of Bdubs vs Etho...

IN CONCLUSION:

1) My solid votes are for Cleo and Doc

      (I will be voting for my man regardless of the hopelessness of fighting                  against Mr. Good Times)

2) I can be persuaded to vote for Etho or Mumbo

      (I am not an Ethogirl and Mumbo is kinda bland to me ngl)

AND 3) I am conflicted on Joe vs Quackity

      HIT ME WITH ALL THE PROPAGANDA YOU HAVE!

[doctorhomo]

re: dark fantasy novels

yes!! violent men are Not It! it's not what we're here for! it's weird! especially when they start by the Big Scary Man threatening the fmc (who is of course small and fragile because of course) somehow, with like. genuinely physically very violent things? THAT'S NOT IT NO THANK YOU. LIKE IF YOU PERSONALLY THINK THAT'S HOT OK NO JUDGEMENT BE SAFE BUT LIKE IT SHOULDN'T BE THE DEFAULT.

and! i know the whole Social Media and such has basically shrunken everyone's attention spams but my dudes if you don't want to read a whole book you don't have to. but the point of a story is to tell a story and if you just want the smut then by all means get your smut but don't complain about the rest of the story being there! (in fact, i think the average tumblr user might be able to point out easier ways to get your smut than skimming through a book. just saying).

i genuinely think it's sad (&worrying?) that these people seem to think this is the only worthwile book/romance book/smut option that there is. like i know it's the loudest genre right now in this field but i think the people deserve portrayals of relationships that are...good. not sure where i was going with this but i guess i want to broaden everyone's horizons. i think we should lessen the Big Mean Violent Man x Fragile Tiny Often Helpless Woman population

yeah i get you!!! i also absolutely HATE the defence being “it’s fiction” and “adult women know this is not healthy and therefore dont want it” SHUT UP

1) fiction can affect real life relationships and mindsets

2) it’s OBVIOUSLY not the adult women people are most worried about???? these books are designed to look more like YA novels and are constantly being recommended to young women, how many teenagers have read these books and found it romantic?? how many teenagers are building their idea of a perfect partner from books like this???

also, yes, adult women know this is fiction, no one thinks they dont. but it does seem like it’s doing Not Great things to their mindset.. the amount of women i see saying “ughh i want a stalker boyfriend” or making imagine posts like “ughhh imagine he breaks into your house when you’re at work and is waiting to fuck you when you get back” LIKE????????? YOU WANT A STALKER BOYFRIEND?????????

anyway. my main point is that the content of these books should not be as mainstream as they are. liking porn is fine. liking sexy books is fine. writing porn and wrapping it in a pastel YA romcom aesthetic and having tables and tables of it in every bookshop isnt great. call it what it is (porn) instead of “spicy romance” and stop making it so readily available to young people who havent even had experiences of their own yet and are potentially using these as a litmus

(i also saw a twt post the other day saying something along the lines of “gen z turning on sex scenes in movies and dark romance books is part and parcel with fascism” which i think is insane sorry. there is a definite, worrying rise in puritanical ideals, but saying that books portraying sexual violence and abusive relationships shouldnt be marketed as mainstream romance is not the same as saying sex is bad outright, and im very tired of people equating the two)