#he genuinely loves my bed
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lizard on the beddd
#he genuinely loves my bed#he goes bright yellow whenever hes on it#and its like girl why#reptile#lizard#bearded dragon#beardie#lizardblr#lizards#syrup.posts
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toji poking his head under your shirt and nipping at your tummy when you don't want to get up in the morning:(((((
#he's already half clothed ready to start his morning#and oh he fucking loves to see you all splayed out on the bed#genuinely like one of his favourite things ever#but you've got some errands to do so you gotta get up:((((((#so he just tickles you a little and kisses you a little#like cmonnnnn... sleepy playful toji...........#🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴#i'm biting him back after i get up#sinking my teeth right into his shoulder#TRUSTTTTTTTTTT#toji#mickey is daydreaming#miji
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scar and jimmy are going to team up in the next life series AND THATBLUE HAIRED CUNT ISNT GOING TO SAY A GOD DAMN WORD
#scar and jimmy is one of the genuinely sweetest ships in the whole fandom btw#get on my level they are perfect#ilove you solidaritimes no one could make me hate you#he’s your fucking deputy HUH????#he defends and supports you like no one ever has and he challenges you to love yourself huh?????#you builds you a beautiful train and western town and he’s DEVOTED TO YOU#HES YOUR DEPUTY!!!!!#AND YOU’RE HIS GOD DAMN FUCKING SHERIFF#AND IN LOVE#AND YOU LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH#and one of those many nights you’re in bed together#holding him#for the first time you say it out loud#I love you#and he says it back without a second of hesitation#because he already knew#even if you didn’t yet. even if you were afraid he didn’t feel the same#but he does#and you had nothing to worry about
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Argenti headcanons
🌹 Tags: Afab g/n reader, Smut/Fluff, established relationship, obsessive Argenti once again 😍, size difference kink, belly bulge, creampie, idk what else to tag 💔
🌹 A/N: sorry I tried making him as accurate to canon but he's a bit of a freak in my eyes (not in the kinky way but in the questionable way)
Argenti is a gentleman, he loves to be sensual and treat you like royalty, so naturally the aftercare is top notch! No matter how tired he is (unlikely that he's tired to begin with) he'll always make sure to clean you well, get the bed ready and pepper you with many many kisses <3 He will never leave until you're fully taken care of
Raging size difference kink. He can't quite pinpoint why exactly he's so into it but all he knows is that he can't help himself when he sees just how much smaller you are to him- believe me he has had to learn a new level of self control around you...
He's really big and absolutely loves seeing you take all him, has accidentally overstimulated you before but can you blame him? The way your pussy takes all of his cock and how his cum drips down you ... one round is not enough to please him.
Belly bulge is almost a guarantee everytime he fucks you and yes, it makes him very hard seeing how deep he fucks you
Pleasure dom but can also be sub. He absolutely loves spoiling you no matter how greedy you get, but he also enjoys being spoiled! He won't outwardly admit this however so make sure every once in a while you take good care of him, he deserves it~ ❤️
Worships you like a god(dess) regardless if he's top or bottom, it's almost embarrassing hearing his over the top compliments but he means every word! He loves spending a while just kissing your entire body, his kisses are so soft and full of love, and they linger in the areas that you're most self conscious about! To him, everything about you is beautiful, no matter what you think of yourself!
Loves it when you take the lead, he'll do whatever you ask of him like an obedient little puppy~ just kiss him a few more times and he's already head over heels for you! (Not that he already isn't though) When you ride him and threat him like a whore he cums even faster than usual. He can't decide if he prefers when you're gentle and loving or when you're mean and harsh.
Big praise kink, even when you're mean to him you should still praise him~
Into bondage as well, loves it no matter who's the one tied up! When you're the one tied up he loves to blindfold you as well and whisper to you everything that he will/is doing to you. He's very comforting when you're blindfolded but you can feel his voice go deeper than usual which makes you all the more hot for him
Now when you tie him up...he becomes a complete mess. He whines and moans, his body shaking so much that you almost feel bad for not letting him touch you, but that's just part of the fun, no? Again, cums a lot faster in this state
He cums a lot- and quickly too. You're lucky he has so much stamina since he cums way before you even come close. After you're both done the bed/wherever you fucked is very very messy- makes him a bit embarrassed but also loves seeing it as a way of claiming you as his own~
Also has a breeding kink, even if you can't have kids hes simply just obsessed with the idea of filling you up and having so many kids with you~
CW: Dub-con and cnc (roleplay kidnapping)
Overall he's very loving, no matter how you want him to fuck you he'll do it and praise you so much while doing so! You're his beloved little rose and he absolutely loves everything about you! ❤️
Although you're his priority and he wants to make sure you enjoy every second of it, he's still quite...obsessive over you- which can lead to him forgetting that this is reality and will fuck the living light out of you to the point that it's just painful- at some point he'll make sure you're okay but he's quick to go back and fucking you dumb
He's a bit addicted to roleplaying as if he kidnapped you, tying you to his bed and just fucking your pretty face drives him insane <3 You spend a lot of time before hand making clear each other's boundaries, and even while roleplaying he can't help but ask if your ok and compliments you so much
#again im sorry for writing argenti like this...i really do think hes such a sweetheart in bed but also#have yall seen how obsessed he is with idrila? no way he isnt a bit questionable when hes in love#ill write cute and romantic smut with argenti.. eventually...#have like 2 other argenti fics that is just him being an obsessive freak#but i love him like that#tho hes genuinely so caring and loving and and and oh my god i am so in love with him#im so tired tho my eyes hurt#so goodnight yall#argenti smut#hsr smut#hsr argenti smut#argenti x reader#hsr x reader#smut headcanons#actually i wanna write more for the dub-con part but i am struggling to keep my eyes open...
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you deserved better from me than an oversized uniform and a world full of troubles
#this is tugs#tugs zorran#tugs zip#fortezza bigg city#senjart#quick doodle before bed (1 am)#when you're only 18 and got force-fed a world full of crime and shady hard-to-trust folks#and the middle aged man that you adore and treat as a paragon of salvation is distant and cannot love you ''normally''#while the person that berates you is the one that genuinely loves you but your brain automatically registers any ''insult'' as ''bad''#and you don't know that he cares for you#family'd so hard they started to develop genuine traditional family problems#we're not beating the complicated doomed familyhood allegations with this one 😂😂😂#the faint ''have to'' in the background is like.#''do I care for you because my boss handed you to me as part of my duty''#vs#''do I care for you because I don't want you to end up like me even though I am NOT warm or nice''#also them without their hats. the one thing all z-stacks have in common that indicates them being from the same group#theres lots of details and themes and whatnot in this doodle but my brain is a mush..... erm..... have fun staring#(fixes my glasses and grins like an ape)
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chat htey fuckin jumpscared me while im trying to do my assignment
#this isnt xmen related but it can be if i try#i think enjoying james mcavoy comes with the territory of being a cherik enjoyer vjaeLKe thems just the strokes i dont make the rules#snap chats#'snap i thought you were sleeping' i was lying but it wasnt in bed i fear fjaELKEJ#no my prof has our assignments due at 8AM so i do them the night before WHATEVER its just reading news articles#and they put this ad at the bottom and i was term searching and i got jumpscared when the page jumped right to it#i saw the movie opening night and it was. the goofiest thing. the movie partially but My Night Mostly#cause at the beginning of the week i told my ma i was going to see it and she- trying to be a mother for the first time- was like#'oh we should watch it together :)' but as the time approaches she's like 'i mean do we HAAVE to watch it horror's traumatizing....'#im so glad i didnt go with my mom i know she woulda soured the whole thing for me she hates me and everything i love#like miss ma'am go AWAY i just went with my brother and the theater was virtually empty so we kept crackin jokes jvlkeakj#I STILL GENUINELY ENJOYED THE MOVIE THOUGH i should watch the og sometime but this was a good watch .... a fun one even...#this movie solidified the fact i love it when james plays- as he says- 'devilish' characters it is ACTUALLY primo to my life#so funny cause my bro and i still crack jokes about and reference it i didnt think he'd care bout it after we left but vjlkjlkja#ok im goig to bed for real now im tired and i wanna get up early to do work BYE
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telling myself i can't start another tdwt rewrite but dear god do i want to write one focusing on alejandro and courtney in this weird situationship thats a lot more nuanced than just alejandro manipulating courtney and her falling for it. like theyre best friends they dont trust each other theyre the same person they dont know anything about the other one theres a mutual attraction theyre pining for other people theyre codependent they dont care about each other theyre platonic soulmates like i just want to do a deep dive into how messy that relationship couldve been building off of their friendship that exists in my head except the line between romantic and platonic is so fucking blurred they have no idea what they are to the other person
#they live rent free in my head as you can tell#ive been writing some intense moments for them in amicus curiae and im having a lot of Feelings about platonic alecourtney#tbh the whole concept of them replacing the best friends has been a great avenue for me to do a deep dive into their friendship#aughhhh i just. love them so much#and i do want to explore them in a situation where there is relationship potential even if that relationship never actually happens#because everything between them during tdwt could be so MESSY!!#like alejandro says he's just manipulating courtney but he's also doing it to make heather jealous but he's also genuinely worried about he#after the duncan thing but this is the only way he knows how to express that concern without making himself look weak#meanwhile courtney is falling for the act but she also knows its an act and is going with it for the emotional support it provides and shes#just doing it to make duncan/gwen jealous but she also is starting to see the real alejandro underneath it all because he does care even#though he doesn't want to and they do feel a strong connection that they dont know whether its platonic or romantic because romance is bein#shoved down their throats on this show and theyre both in complicated romantic dynamics with other people that theyre the easier option for#one another but they dont really want to be with one another like it just doesnt feel right#okay okay i legit have to stop and go to bed but just. them. im thinking so hard about them#platonic alecourtney
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oh my god. your wording in one of ur latest anon answers. does…. is val the only one who does the dumping? does vox never dump val??? i always like… idk i assumed that they both broke it off in a never ending downward spiral, mutually. but oh my GOD? you’re saying val is the only one doing the breaking up? i….. this is shifting my entire perspective on vox. HOLD ON. HOLD ON. not to beat a dead dove here (that was a brilliant pun yes i’m stealing it), but……… this is sliding right into my vault where i keep my Vox and Domestic Violence Thoughts. he just seems so…. helpless. he’s helpless all the time and in complete denial about it. at first it was clear he’s pretty helpless around alastor -in both canon and your fic. alastor is stronger, and also, in the beginning had the Extreme emotional upper hand. i knew this, yet, like in canon, i assumed more or less alastor was the chink in his armor. vox DOES run the vee’s competently, he handles val, and he’s arguably the fourth most powerful sinner in hell (behind zestial, carmilla, and alastor). those 3 things are true, AND YET. let’s look behind the wizards curtain. how does vox live his Personal life. not his job or position of power. how does his close relationships define him. let’s see now. the initial intense obsession with alastor, which had ONLY left him rejected and humiliated. helpless. and now val. i Assume vox enacts some physical violence on val, too, but something in his wording in the last installment. vox made the point to compare alastors straight up murder attempts to how val acts. i do not think vox does that with val, at least not in a trivial and common manner (he has said the vee’s have all killed e/o before). and when i said “sure he can act disgruntled and upset in the moment” in another ask, i MEANT that vox could break up with val for a couple days before crawling right back like nothing happened. but NO. NOT EVEN THAT. vox endures, and he ultimately does Nothing. NOTHING. and not even that, he is subjected to val breaking it off in a cyclic manner, for superficial or nonexistent issues. and then after a week val will call and vox will come crawling back like nothing happened, and the timer for 4 months begins again. through everything, EVERYTHING, vox really just seems… passive in the grand scheme of things. it’s paradoxical, because he’s also outrageously ambitious. i think that’s one of his core character traits, a constant greed and pursuit of it. that’s unequivocally true about him. but then we look at his love life, and what do we see? he lets the two men he loves basically do whatever they want with him. and he does it because he loves them, as well as being unable to admit he’s suffering. i will say, from now on it’s clear that his relationship with alastor is veering off this direction, but i want to STRESS that it was actually ALASTOR that cemented that. vox, in a spurt of emotion, let it slip out his history of domestic violence. then, promptly brushed it off to appease alastor. he set the terms of the deal, but he did it as a silly pinky promise. he, again, never allows himself to take it SERIOUSLY. because IF HE DOES!!!! then he needs to set boundaries AND ABIDE BY THEM!!!!!!!! AND WHAT THEN. WHAT THEN. THEN THE NEXT TIME VAL OR ALASTOR CROSS A LINE, HE NEEDS TO END IT. LEAVE. DO ANYTHING. AND HE IS NEVER GONNA DO THAT!!!!!!!! and here’s the real fucking kicker…… he expects them to. to keep hurting him. that’s the root of it. it’s not a real boundary, because it’s an inevitability. valentino and alastor will always want to hurt him, so a relationship without that violence is nonexistent. (that’s what he believes btw. hopefully not the truth). and so, vox has made his choice. he’s a businessman, and he has weighed the pros and cons. the violence and crossed boundaries he faces is outweighed by his love for them, and ultimately, that means they can do whatever they want to him. he is helpless.
(this was an entire rant, dear god. and of course the disclaimer that this is all my personal delusions, and not necessarily your take on vox in your series. i swear, i never know how these asks get so long. i promise i start of with a simple idea, then it all implodes into an essay. so sorry. love you.) -🌓
I have good news and bad news for you, anon!
The bad news is that I have misled you slightly: My actual full perspective of the Valentino and Vox on-and-off dating situation is that Vox dumps Valentino when he feels a sufficiently angry flavor of upset that Valentino refuses to listen to him on some things (usually not, actually, the violence, unless Val breaks something for Vox to be angry about); and Valentino dumps Vox when he wants Vox to annoyedly pretend not to moon after him for a week. In both situations, sometimes Vox ends up giving up the ghost and functionally crawling his way back to Val, but more commonly Valentino decides that he's had enough and rather handily seduces Vox into a round of what Vox promises himself is hate sex and not makeup sex but is inevitably always very sappy makeup sex with a side of lovebombing.
This is. Arguably not that different of a flavor from what you're describing, haha, especially since a lot of Vox managing to be the one to break things off at any given point in time hinges on him being able to frame his rationale as "anger" rather than "upset," the latter of which just gets brushed under the carpet of Emotions That Are Not Taken Seriously. He can act on a great many things if he justifies them as something he is right to be objective and angry over, including outright killing Valentino at least once at some point in the past, but anything that makes him feel vulnerable or, ah, let's deliberately and pointedly use the word hysterical, is a pre-existing internal struggle that Valentino knows how to manipulate to his advantage.
The good news is that this lovely analysis inspired me to almost completely rewrite a section of the next 666 fic that I'd been dissatisfied with. I initially wrote Vox as annoyed; what he needed to be was Very Stressed And Upset in a way that distinctly refused to dare stray into anger because the fundamental concern was about what Alastor wanted - just as you described, Vox fumbling his own distress with his learned helplessness when it comes to intimate relationships. Anyway, now I'm WAY happier with it! So thank you very much for that!
#ask#personal#half moon anon#666 live on air#my writing#long post#posting a snippet in a sec before I head to bed as a thank u <3#god I do love staticmoth tho#they're All That Horrible Mess and they're fucking adorable and in very fucky love on top of it#val has supported vox in ways nobody else ever has and is in fact genuinely very very fond of vox#he's just also a manipulative narcissist with severe anger issues! oops!#get you a man that can do both!#(don't. please for the love of god don't.)#cw abuse#cw domestic violence#staticmoth
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will i ever stop thinking about little red riding yakumo and the big bad fox.?hm. no... no, i don't think i will
#not like i have a choice anyway . (lets the images float thru my mind like clouds on a windy day)#the day that prompt combined in my mind was an eternal mark on my life#for the love of dog i need yakumo in that slutty Santa outfit or an adorable riding hood costume#he's my little princess and i need him in little outfits#if kuya genuinely ate yakumo's grandma#this fairytale would get OG Grimm and gruesome real fast#two endings. one where it seems like granmma's life is genuinely in danger (leads to carnage and two beasts destroying each other)#one where it's tiny kuya in fox form who has somehow been tamed by nana (either.. sweetly or fiercely depending on nana mood)#and he's just sitting in bed boredly swishing his tail while granmama knits him a tiny sweater#yakumo arrives at the cabin and goes... mr. kuya....???#granny starts talking about how this adorable stray cat kept hangin around and she thinks he's lonely so now she keeps him company#(someone please fetch her glasses)
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I'm going feral again with a silly headcanon.
I just had that post on how Odysseus made Puzzles for himself and Penelope and I have another idea and I'm just really excited to share it lksdjf
I basically plan to have this man in love with Penelope within 10 mins (I HAVE A PLAN! It sounds crazy but I think it'll work. Plus these two are reckless and young when married. His first crush and he's not handling it well.)
This is them. Or at the very least Penelope is definitely playing it off very nonchalantly and is kind of messing around at first, thinking that the "trickster" is "not being genuine" when he's never been more genuine in his life. She can see right through all his lies and bullshit and basically forces him to be vulnerable, something he loves yet is TERRIFIED of. Especially as she "unmasked" him so quickly (and tricked HIM.😉 Won't say how. no spoilers yet) and so effortlessly and he's just a MESS. Athena isn't helping and just watches them both fumble around, even when Odysseus is asking for some guidance, Athena just smiles and is all like "I'm the Goddess of Wisdom, not of Love. Figure it out yourself." (PENELOPE IS JUST AS MUCH OF A BLORBO TO HER AS ODYSSEUS IS, YOU COWARDS!)
(Art by isei-silva right here on tumblr! Their post! )
I won't go into huge details. I WILL write this fic someday and I need to leave SOME things a surprise. But KNOW this man will be pulling out all the stops trying to impress her and tries to show all the things he's good at and one will be his "puzzle making".
He'll bring a puzzle to her TRYING to talk all "suave" (he'll be semi-tongue tied. Something that he's not used to and is annoyed that he can't seem to think around her)
It'll probably have a little gift inside and he'll be chatting away about how he worked hard to make it and that there's a trick to it and blah blah blah
Penelope: Oh! There's (some sort of treat or gift) inside!
Odysseus: Wait, you solved it already?
Penelope,🤨: Yes. All you have to do is this.
Odysseus, falling (more like sprinting at this point) further in love but also mad his plan to woo her didn't work: Well... Yeah. That's a gift for you.
He's trying SOOOO hard but he has to stop "showboating" to genuinely impress her. Man has to be fucking vulnerable for her to be impressed by him because she already can read his "tells" on when he's pulling something. No more "tricks". Be yourself, you fucking idiot >:D
#uygfidhsojhf I revealed a LOT already but I just??? I really love writing this man being a fucking mess and not knowing what to do#for once in his life. The man who “always has a plan” now DOESN'T know what to do and he's all feelings right now.#And Penelope has no time for tricks (unless she's the one pulling one). They've both met their match (in practically everything. Likeminded#remember?) and they're both excited and scared because#I'm a trickster. He/She is just like me. I desperately want this to be real but I know how good I am at tricking people. What if this is a#lie?“ BOTH have to stop ”tricking“ in order to truly bond. And then I get into the nitty gritty >:D#Like how Odysseus has to be vulnerable and sob about their bed to get her to believe it's him. They did the same in their youth.#It's a PATTERN for them at this point.#I love making this man simp and her realizing that this “trickster” IS genuine. This man actually loves her and that there's no “game”.#then it's HER turn to be a mess >:D#odypen#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#Hi. I'm vibrating from excitement and I don't know what to do.
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My ass is NOT used to genuine words despite how much/how many times I receive them
#[ ★ nervo yaps ]#like okok I might tag this as venting#but like yes I get stuff like “I'm here for you” from my family and stuff#but it just feels so different and sm more meaningful for me to hear it from my friends#but even then it's like EXTREMELY complex and hard to explain#like it means the fucking world to me when a friend offhandedly affirms me#or like they indulge in my stupid rambles#with my family it just feels like the “love your family unconditionally” kind of thing if that makes sense#it takes out the genuine part for me for some reason idk#and my mom and sister call me Ajax or masculine terms as a way to get my attention or like fun at me and it doesn't even happen often#and my dad just straight up pokes fun at me#no jokes to be made#like again they rarely even acknowledge my identity as a trans man#they occasionally acknowledge me being bi#but rlly only my mom does#my dad just nods along kinda#like he agrees but he seems indifferent to the point where he just does not care#and not in a good way#It's also when a friend says “you deserve it” (looking at devil rn) I get all giddy#that's smth I don't hear often at ALL#and it's abt smth I hold dear?#like fr???#Idk. someone put me to bed I cannot be having these thoughts at almost 4 am
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“Amore et Timore” - King Fernando I “El Animoso”
#*why is it that when I write tags that are genuinely imporant and wordy it always doesnt save UGH#well. ill try and rewrite them.#hahaha I bring you curly haired king Fernando!!(mostly for cofi)#2011 monza gp core Fernando that gripped us all by the throat right?? right????#also i hope that his hair doesn't appear red to you like it did to me on my pc??? its brown I assure you#anyways! historical context for nerds like me:#'el animoso'(the spirited) comes from Philip V of course#it was apparently bestowed on him bcs of his perseverance and unwavering fervor in battle#and is that not the most Fernando coded thing youve ever heard?????#'Amore et Timore'(through love and fear) however comes from Joseph I#whom seb is partially based on but i thought his Latin motto fit Nando way better so here we are#philip v didn't have a motto as far as i could tell so that's why I stole Joseph's#but i do think the motto for the Spanish kingdom fits Fernando's career pretty well?#'A solis ortu usque ad occasum'(from sunrise to sunset) and i think that suits Fernando's 'longest f1 career ever' p well#anyways I sent a sketch of this to cofi the other day like yeah I probably wont finish this#and now here i am on 5 am on a tuesday grinning manically sleep deprived like HERE YOU GO#i think he looks very cute in this!!! i really did a lot of work on his eyelashes...very important detail to me#he kinda accidentally looks like Louis XIV unfortunately#but thats down to his hair I think. it looks a lot more like the traditional wig style from then compared to what I typically draw#but god imagine being seb in this au!!! you get to wake up next to this majestic beast....#seb would have this painting framed over his bed or something. i mean who wouldn't????#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#boy king au
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wilson already told house how he wanted to spend his five months when he aske dhouse to tell him that he loved hima nd when they took a roadtrip together and and and so whn house asks wilson that after telling wilson he's not dead he already knows the answer and it wasn't actually what he waas trying to communicate he was trying to tell wilson he loves him back in this essay I
#house m.d.#hate crimes md#hilson#gonna elaborate in the tags because this is barely literate but i think it's funnier if i leave the typos#basically house asking wilson ''how do you want to spend your last five months'' was not actually what house wanted to say there#because he already knew how wilson wanted to spend his last five months (he just wanted house with him and he wanted to live outside of#a hospital bed)#so he's not genuinely asking that#he's telling wilson ''all you wanted was me. you have me.''#''you needed me to be your friend and to tell you your life was worthwhile and that i loved you.''#''i have quite literally destroyed my entire life for you. your last five months are my last five months and i am going to do whatever i ca#to make them good for you.''
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god oh my god oh my fucking god I sprained both my wrists but I couldn’t fucking careless holy fucking shit he’s here he’s here he’s here’s I’m shaking
#SHIDOUvvgdishsihh#SHIDOUUU#HE#HE LOOKS SO BASTARDOUS#IM WAILING#IM SCREAMING#I LITERALLY#GOD#SHIDOU#IM SO FUCKING HAPPY#GOD IS KIND#THIS IS WORTH EVERY BAD THING THAT HAS HAPPRNED IN MY LIFE#IM GOING INSANE#GENUINELY#SHIDOUUUU!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIMMMMMMMMMM GOD#GETVIN MY BED RN RN BITCH U ARE SO FINE#SHUT UP HES HOT OKAY I NEED HIM NOW#N O W#windshield rambles (^・o・^)
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what if i will just never romantically vibe with any man i meet in my entire life. what then
#inspired by the fact that i recently discovered that my flatmate's boyfriend wears the ugliest sandals i've seen in my life#and he's ugly af too#hhhh#but i genuinely haven't seen a good looking man in this country in god knows how long#what if i will never have a bf just because all the men i will meet will be either ugly or boring or both#not that i've ever been on any sort of a date (have never)#but looking at the boyfriends of women i know really makes me scared for the future of my romantic life#conservative weirdos in this country have a new hobby and it's calling any woman who dates a guy from abroad a traitor/whore#and it's hilarious because guys. have you looked in the mirror recently#somehow i'm convinced i'd be more likely to fall in love somewhere abroad#because whatever is going on in men's fashion here is tragic#not just fashion. worldview also#anyway it's midnight and i should go to bed#but here's a post brought to you by my lonely unloveable bitch disease ✌
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#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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