#he fucked up badly
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I have been thinking about the exact word to describe all of the revolving emotions, and actions taken in this chapter. What it is that makes it so despaired even with a death added, this novella is already gloomy on itself, so why does it feels worse?
And the answer is the word doom.
Not the narrative, but all three of them, Utterson, Lanyon, and Jekyll feel doomed. The narrative doesn't doom them because it maintains an air of gothic mystery, of dry conclusions despite the emotionally charged words. All of the doom is man made, consequences of actions already taken, scientific even.
All three old friends dragged into doom by the very aware, and concious decisions of one.
Lanyon is dead thanks to that frightening shock which basically drained him of any will to live, Jekyll is now in seclusion while evading any kind of interaction that could lead to him explaining anything, and poor Utterson has to live the many years that he has left knowing that he will be the last one standing because of his very nurtured, clear, and honest being.
It's incredible how the ramifications of Jekyll's actions doomed such kind friendship cultivated by so many years.
#He fucked up badly#Truly badly#jekyll and hyde weekly#the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde#hastie lanyon#gabriel utterson#henry jekyll
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i love the DLC man
#elden ring#miquella the unalloyed#promised consort radahn#I’ve been thinking about how despite all the talk of age of compassion… Miquella’s first spell as a god is an offensive incantation#with a wide af damage radius 💀💀💀#meanwhile Marika who built her age upon violence… her spells are all healing and defense buffs#and her first spell as a God is a little tree that heals a wide area#she was still trying to heal her ppl to the bitter end AND gunning for revenge. there’s a kind of heartbreaking honesty to it#the cruel irony in the DLC story is crazy#really show how badly Miq had strayed from his original path after forsaking Trina#then that meme pops in my head ajshsjhsjhs#now i do think the vow is two-way btw Radahn just got cold feet near the end#the only thing i dont like about the DLC is i cant draw jokes without explaining I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS i think their actions are valid !!#like having to pull up a whole lore presentation slide for this#yes i think it's funny as hell that Miq did show Radahn why he should not fuck around and find out
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IMO
i make a lot of very fluffy, sentimental, art~ but i need everyone to know just how much i fucking hate these two (adoringly. with all my heart.)
#arcane#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#they're both just the worst#and they absolutely deserve each other#which i say lovingly#cuz you don't have to be perfect to be perfect for someone else#jayce is so full of love and just wants to be the goodest good boy so badly that he completely fucks everything up at every turn#and viktor is such a fucking good-hearted~ self-loathing~ reckless asshole with no faith in anybody but him and jayce#it's a wonder that they managed everything they did#probably because they had each other#i mean~ if you're gonna fuck up so bad that you end the world#better also be the only two people who can un-fuck it up#arcane spoilers#in my tags#where i carry on and on~ lol#pidgy drew#digital art#artists on tumblr
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Tristamp memes to cope with whatever the fuck EP11 was
#trigun the stampede#trigun wolfwood#trigun fanart#trigun#vash the stampede#vash x wolfwood#wolfwood fanart#wolfwood#million knives#vashwood fanart#vashwood#what the actual fuck was Ep11#I’m not kidding it fucked me up so badly#give vash a donut he deserves it
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Obviously next week could prove this all dead-wrong, but I don’t think the trial’s quite over. I don’t believe the end of that episode actually took place, because I’m pretty sure we’re still firmly in the “punish Agatha” phase. Rio’s suddenly gone. Alice seems to be dead by Agatha’s hand, and no one—including Teen, who has always been on her side—seems primed to believe she was out of control. The others have been sucked beneath the power of the surrogate son who not only just told Agatha to fuck off, but went full-Wanda to do it. It just all seems too tailored to cut up any of the character progress Agatha’s made on the Road thus far. Getting harassed by her ghost mother and hearing her son’s voice don’t feel like a complete tear-down. This does. It feels like more trial.
#agatha all along#agatha all along spoilers#agatha harkness#show next week: punt your theory into the SUN idiot#it just felt so abrupt#like that episode felt SHORT and the ending came up like a two by four to the forehead#feels a lot like Agatha’s fears coming true#your coven will leave you. your girl vanishes. your not-son reviles you AND bears the power and control of#the witch who fucked you up so badly and foiled your power#it seems really interesting that this happens when we’re starting to really get glimpses of the softer side of Agatha#with her love for Rio and her mounting reluctant affection for the coven and her grief for her son#and now the idea that Teen needs to be bound up as a ‘familiar’ when she knows she’s been letting him in#he’s not yours Agatha. he’s not yours and he wants nothing to do with you#Wanda gets everything and Agatha gets sucked under#I find it all veeeery curious
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The older I get and the more terrible takes I see the more in favour I become of gatekeeping
#text post#Normies who so so so badly want to be part of a certain crowd to be quirky while being actually disgusted by that crowd's whole thing#People going “I want that old man” but the character is 30 because they can't imagine someone REALLY thirsting after an actual older man#“He's so caked up!” about a Genshin Impact character because when people say that they can't POSSIBLY mean being attracted to fat people#“This game is ableist” because the horror game with horror themes explores extremely dark concepts#and they want to like the popular horror because it's cool to like it but they can't fathom people ACTUALLY liking REAL dark content#“This game should have an easy mode” because the super hard game known for being hard is too hard for them#and they hate not being part of the fandom about the hard game that's known for being hard#“Ok hear me out” about the most milquetoast character because when people say “hear me out”#they can't POSSIBLY be ACTUALLY attracted to the really weird shit#and if they are any of these things they are sick and twisted and problematic and -ist and -phobic and perverts and degenerates#I'm done#Stop trying to be a freak for clout when at your core you're actually happier with generic crowdpleaser media#Stop moving into spaces not for you and then demanding they cater to you#And forcing out the real audience using morality and shame as your weapons of choice#I'm so fucking done#vent
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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what the fuck he's actually insane?????!!!!!! my god
#crying screaming throwing up#giggling and kicking my legs#screamed in the bus#he's insane.#oh my fucking GOD#he's a greek god#BABE LET ME LICK UR VEINS#and suck u off so good#he doesn't know what he's missin 😣#i can't even start to describe how those made me feel#i wanna kiss him for this#my self control is slipping#y'all don't realise how badly i need this man#NICHOLAS HMU#NEOW.#nicholas chavez#alex' yapping sessions ♥︎#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas chavez smut#nicholas alexander chavez#hoffmansgirl nicholas ♡
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now that im free from entrance exam hell, here's me getting back into the swing of things by drawing the engies :^)
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 engie#tf2 engineer#dell conagher#engie tf2#engineer tf2#doodle#digital art#artists on tumblr#mine#my art#blu engie#gigglesss#red engie literally has so much joy and whimsy. how could u fuck up this badly blu engie.#truly i dont think blu engie wears his ensemble on the field#i think he wears his usual team colors#i just enjoy drawing him in the hoodie n turtleneck to differentiate him from red engie :-)
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collection of some loz origin au stuff i've been chipping away at for awhile now ^_^ with a healthy amount of dunmeshi insp for good measure LOL (the ooccoo isnt relevant she's just here for size comparison purposes)
feat my beloved good friend @linkvcr's hylia design also. because i am obsessed with her and you should be too 🫵
#sitting here hoping and praying these images dont get crunched too badly <- guy who knows its in vain#WELL WHATEVER. i had fun. kinda. enjoy bcus i am still playing ffxiv and will be for the foreseeable future#loz#hylia#link#tloz#loz au#loz fanart#skyward sword#zelda#sksw#hylink#yeah it gets that tag too. sorry. but his name isnt/wasnt link either he's just the og dude#'well what is his name then' whell..... idk <3#we really have just been calling this dude the first hero or her hero for a few weeks now. hope you enjoy whatever vision is going on here#bcus i dooooo ^_^#speaking of which he definitely came out really messy but. gotta start somewhere i think. loved drawing weird and fucked up hylia though#OKAY NO MORE RAMBLING. see you later#my art
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Nikolai and Price going to an evening game of poker with some of Nik's "friends", John sitting with his guard up as he's surrounded by a group of dangerous international criminals, all of them carrying guns, all of them glancing at him with a curious look. Price is uncomfortable but doesn't show it, while Nikolai is awfully relaxed considering the situation.
The evening goes on, drinks, cigars and hearty laughs are shared around the table, the bets reaching numbers Price doesn't even make in half a year. It would be a problem, if he wasn't winning most of the rounds, piles of cash gathering around him as he feels the tension build in the room. One of the younger guys, another russian speaker, starts getting an attitude about it around two hours in, and Nikolai immediately puts him in his place with a single sentence Price doesn't understand, his voice booming, as intimidating as he could be, a heavy silence falling inside the room as the lad with an attitude sits back down, eyes not even daring to look at Nik. The silence is only broken by Nik again, a warm laugh leaving his lips and the other men joining him, their nervousness barely hidden.
It had been so easy for Nik to command the room, and even after the tension had diminished, Price could see how much respect these men had for him, while also clearly being scared shitless of the man. Price had rarely felt more attracted to him as he did at that moment, and the wink and smirk Nikolai gave him when he noticed him looking in his direction absolutely did not help.
John eventually left the table, excusing himself for a moment but squeezing Nik's hand briefly as he got up, moving deeper in the building they were using for their game.
A minute later and it's Nik's turn to excuse himself, quickly finding Price who immediately grabs him by the collar of his open shirt and presses his lips against his, Nik hungrily returning the kiss and pushing John against a nearby wall.
When they return to the table, hair tousled, face flustered, all it takes is one glance from Nikolai to shut the others up. This is his territory, this is where he's comfortable, surrounded by dangerous men who show him respect and never dare to cross him.
It's easy for John to forget how natural this all is for his partner, and if Nikolai brought him here tonight to assert his dominance and show off a little, just so he could impress John, well, that mission sure was a success.
#cod#nikprice#cod nikolai#john price#captain price#nikolai cod#yeah okay I couldn't fall asleep last night and the sudden thought of shady poker night came to mind#I just fucking love seeing Nik just fully embracing his shady side#I think most of the time he'd keep this side of him separated from Price#but come on he knows the effect of him being the top dog in the room would have on John#he gets to have a little fun with it from time to time#follow up to this: they leave and have some fun in their car because they are hungry and impatient 👍#anyway yeah idk I'm just blabbering at this point#just throwing ideas into the void and running away don't mind me#my writing#I feel like I need to apologize for this this is probably written so badly but VSHVSHVNUV at least the thoughts have been shared
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The most kills each person has gotten on another individual player
I made one of these a few months ago but obviously some numbers changed with Wild Life so here I am again. Like last time I did not include Real Life numbers and I'm also not including any deaths or kills of/caused by the zombie players. Sorry mumbo you got robbed (also, if I got anything on this list wrong um . whoops)
Scott: Joel & Impulse - 8
Joel: Cleo - 7
Grian: Scar & Jimmy - 6
Etho: Scar - 6
Scar: Etho - 6
Martyn: Tango - 5
Pearl: Cleo - 4
Impulse: Pearl - 3
Jimmy: Lizzie - 3
Ren: Cleo - 3
Tango: Joel - 3
Bdubs: Impulse, Grian & Skizz - 2
Skizz: Bdubs, Tango & Lizzie - 2
Cleo: Bigb & Scott - 2
Gem: Pearl & Scott - 2 (Etho can also be included if counting Lim Life kills)
Bigb: Scott - 2
Mumbo: Scott - 2
Lizzie: Pearl, Jimmy, Joel, Bigb & Martyn - 1 (Grian can also be included if counting Lim Life kills)
#The impulse scott number is confusing the hell out of me btw#I checked the all deaths videos and wiki like 3 times and yes he definitely does kill impulse 8 times#but somehow I completely missed this in my first list?????#like all 8 of those were from 3rd life last life or lim life but in my first one I somehow thought impulse was only killed by scott 5 times#literally how did I fuck up that badly#anyway#life series#trafficblr#traffic smp#scott smajor#smallishbeans#grian#gtws#ethoslab#inthelittlewood#pearlescentmoon#not including more than that sorry thats too many tags for me
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WHY IS HE SO STRONG
#ONE HAND#JUST ONE HAND#HE LIFTED HIS BODY WITH ONE HAND YALL#like please lift me up and throw me across the room#MY GOODNESS#I FUVKING NEED HIM SO BADLY#AND YALL LOOK AT HIS ASS ITS SO FUCKING FAT
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i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.
BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.
Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.
Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.
But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.
Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.
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They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.
It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.
If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)
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Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.
They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.
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Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.
One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.
Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.
And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.
She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.
She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?
And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.
(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)
The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.
Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul#its kinda hard to get my thoughts in order bc i am ✨unmedicated✨ rn BUT#this is the gist of it#i could wax poetic about how much sam and tucker adore danny as their friend but alas. the wax is not waxing. it is stuck to the paper#and i am chipping it off with my nail and its getting stuck under it.#ocarina batman has been in my head since friday someone come sedate me. him and pit fighter batman too. who is ALSO a piss poor teenage#bruce wayne who instead of a vigilante and villains is a PIT FIGHTER. he fights blindfolded thats why he's called the bat#ocarina batman's Look is if you combined punk + assassins creed aesthetic together and then gave it an ocarina#the ocarina is because i thought it'd be cool if its how he and robin communicated across long distances bc they didnt have comms#because they are ✨poor✨ and live in a one room apartment in crime alley.#and also the mental image of him sitting on. rooftop ledge in the rain playing 'song of storms' from LoZ was too fantastic to ignore#like bro imagine hearing that as a criminal. you're off doing shady shit with your gang and in the distance you hear the faint and#haunting melody of an ocarina. two of them in a call and response duet. and its getting closer. and you cannot find where#siren type shit fr fr#look he has the assassins creed hood and a long ass coat that has spikes on the end that when flared out looks like the silhouette of a bat#on fucking GOD i am this 👌 close to finding an artist doing commissions to make this for me. i am frothing at the mouth#he is 17-19 years old with his little brother-son Robin. Logically Robin is Dick but in my heart of hearts the first Robin is Jason#and he has perfected the art of getting his older brother to play songs on the pan flute for him. long pitchy whine on his own ocarina#the familiar childlike 'pleeeaaaaaaase?' and he knows he's won when there is a 10s silence on the other end before his brother plays#a lullaby.#look up 'sailor moon - pan flute (relaxing) on youtube' and when there's the thumbnail of two green skinned aliens with long blue and pink#hair. click on it. THAT is the song Bruce plays.#hhhhhhhhhhh frothing at the mouth over this au sooo fucking badly
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I just realized some people are confused about events in the alluded to past in Mouthwashing, particularly about how long the crew has been working together.
The only person who is truly new is Daisuke and it’s why his dynamic with the crew and role in the story is very unique and somewhat distant. Curly didn’t just get Jimmy this job on the Tulpar, he got him the job with the Pony Express. He’s been his copilot for probably a couple of years but still not as long as they’ve been friends. None of them are new with the freight industry, Anya and Swansea especially have been doing this for years, together.
Jimmy is the newest on the regular crew, maybe just a few assignments, but it’s not his first time working with them. I think it’s just something important because this isn’t just one bad mistake that snowballed with giving Jimmy the job. None of them thought Jimmy would do anything, no matter how off-put by him they could’ve been, since he hadn’t done a thing since being there. Generally unpleasantness isn’t a crime and he’d be aware of that.
It was a festering thing and a sort of forced trust they had to give him that he knowingly took advantage of. He was the black sheep and still a wolf under the wool. He expected when he lashed out, that he had been there long enough for it to be looked over completely. Got too comfortable in the space he inserted into and did a lot of damage with his claws when he felt he was going to get shaken out.
#I think acting like if Curly just didn’t give Jim the job this wouldn’t have happened is underplaying that they’ve all been working for PE#for a bit and that Jimmy got comfortable enough to do something horrible like#a lot of factors made the trip being out the worse parts of them but Jimmy was slowly letting his worse parts show and I think people assume#that this was one a few mission he went on with Curly and that he advocated for him completely when it was more likely#he pulled some strings so Jimmy could work right under him and stay out of trouble with a decent job and it back fired cause Jimmy is just#not a good person like I see people acting like his breakdown and choice to crash the ship was because this was probably one of the last#chances to fix his life and he couldn’t admit he fucked up soemthing literally handed to him so badly and cruelly#I think people forget that predators like Jimmy rarely do anything the first day. or week or month or year#they ingrain themselves into the schedule and dynamic and build a sort of stability that make it harder to knock them down or push back#he has Curly’s trust as the co pilot and as a friend#Swansea doesn’t like him but doesn’t trust him and Anya is just wary initially#he doesnt even attack her at the start of the trip it’s implied it happens after the psyche evals and when she confides in Curly how#patronizing he is to her and her position. he’s retaliating against a perceived slight to his stability to him it was pure act of power and#anger because he’s at his core an avoidant bully who can’t take responsibility#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#I didn’t want this to be a Jimmy post but it is#more so about how abusers like Jimmy work but I digress cause most of it’s in the comments
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Everyone keeps on saying that Lan Xichen may be an ignorant fool, but at least he is a good brother to Lan Wangji and a good friend to Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue, but is that really true?
Lan Xichen allowed the Lan Clan to participate in the First Siege of the Burial Mounds, after he knew of Lan Wangji’s feelings for Wei Wuxian. He even told Jin Guangyao of Lan Wangji’s feelings for Wei Wuxian, which Jin Guangyao later on used against Lan Wangji in Guanyin Temple.
And when Nie Mingjue told Lan Xichen about how he was stabbed by Jin Guangyao, he just ignored his warnings. Jin Guangyao doesn't even like Nie Mingjue either at that point, not to mention Nie Mingjue also wanted to kill Jin Guangyao several times too. And yet Lan Xichen still wanted the two of them to get along, knowing what had happened in between them.
What do you think about this?
Unfortunately, Lan Xichen has a type of smug, overconfident ignorance I like to call “mother knows best” syndrome: he thinks that he is the most rational person in a group of people who all seem (to him) to be operating at extremes, so it is up to him to play moderator and peacemaker as the “least biased” person. On top of that, because he thinks of himself as the “most rational” person, he also easily justifies disregarding the opinions or knowledge of others as “uninformed” if it doesn’t fit into his own view of things. And tbf, no one had ever challenged him on it in the story until Wei Wuxian’s resurrection. @jiangwanyinscatmom actually had a really good meta about how the story of the Twin Jades’ parents actually affect Lan Xichen’s ideas around reliability/rationality in regards to romances vs. friendships, but I’ve never approached it from that angle to be able to explain it as eloquently as they have.
What I will say is that as bad as those above character flaws are—and we see how badly they implode on him by the end of the novel—what makes it sad is that unlike other characters, Lan Xichen is actually trying to do right by his friends and family. He saw how close Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao were prior to Jin Guangyao’s betrayal and wanted them to regain that closeness. He saw how much Lan Wangji appeared to change around Wei Wuxian and encouraged that relationship until it seemed like Wei Wuxian was actually harming his brother, instead. In another setting, Lan Xichen’s ego could have just been addressed through actual conversation, but instead he got stuck with Jin Guangyao early on—who was the #1 driver of every bad thing that ever happened to Lan Xichen—and his refusal to accept anyone else’s input that differed from his own led to the deaths of real people. And now he has to live with that, but the good thing is that he does.
#mdzs asks#anon#lxc fucked up very badly#but he actually lives with the mistakes he made#and reflects on what happened#instead of trying to justify what he did as righteous#it’s also why i say that jgy made lxc less than what he could be#had meng yao never appeared in lxc’s life#a lot of things could’ve been addressed and settled before it reached the fever pitch that it did#but master manipulator jgy saw the flaws in lxc’s character#and exploited them to lxc’s detriment
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