#“Ok hear me out” about the most milquetoast character because when people say “hear me out”

[thefloatingstone]

The older I get and the more terrible takes I see the more in favour I become of gatekeeping

[televinita]

Little Women (2019): Thoughts

REQUIRED READING: the prequel post about my background going in to this film.

SNAPSHOT VERSION: Though I have some casting qualms, and may adjust my opinions after I reread the book, mostly I think this is everything my heart has needed since the magic of the ‘94 movie was broken for me. My heart is very full.

FULL VERSION: Twice as long as the prequel post (a.k.a. 1800 words), starts below.

I did not expect LW to be the first Unexpected Comeback Fandom of 2020 (or a comeback fandom ever, really), but here I am, having spent every day since I saw this film mooning about this story and looking up different editions and supplemental books in the library catalog, so I'd better process how I feel about it while the memories are relatively fresh.

Most of my thoughts are on casting rather than specific scenes because like I said, I can’t remember the book super well, so I’d like to get my movie memories to fade so that the book can surprise me. Also because I think I will have a more in-depth post about them when I watch the film a 2nd time, whether that’s in theaters or on DVD. But here’s what I’ve got for now.

ON CASTING

In no particular order --

* Emma Watson is very pretty but it is so hard to take her seriously as an actress. She's just Emma Watson, Famous For Being In Harry Potter and Getting Hired For Other Big Name Projects. I feel like she's so consciously acting all the time. She made a not-terrible Meg, I guess? No worse than she made a Belle. But it was roughly as hilarious watching her try to be a mother now as it was watching her try to be a mother in the last Harry Potter movie. To the point that I just kept hearing the "Damn! I'm SO maternal!" song playing as her theme in the background at all times. * I realized 6 days prior to seeing the movie that Florence Pugh is recognizable because she's in Midsommar and honestly, that just ruined everything for me. I didn't even see that film, I just know it's gross and I would hate it and while she is not tainted forever like the 50 Shades actors, she is definitely too tainted for Little Women. Also I could not stop thinking about how I associate Amy with being very dainty and prim and Florence, while perfectly lovely, is not. * Laura Dern was kind of strangely modern and kooky for Marmee, but I love her as an actress and I loved that she was just like "HELLO STRANGE NEIGHBOR BOY, COME BE MY FIFTH CHILD." So I was OK with that. * ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH BOB ODENKIRK. What kind of anachronistic garbage. What crack were you on, because it was obviously not the good stuff. "Did I stumble into an SNL parody??" I wondered more than once. * Meryl Streep as Aunt March was AMAZING. Ten Oscars. * Beth consistently looked younger than Amy, so that was weird. She was okay but kind of childlike, and failed to make Beth my favorite like she is in the book. * JO! Saoirse Ronan is by far my favorite actress in this set, but I didn't think she was right for Jo going in. "Jo's not a redhead!" I said, indignantly stamping my foot, because my childhood-era love for this novel reigns defensively supreme like for no other classic besides Black Beauty. (another 1994 classic they should remake soon, even though I love that version. Just saying.)

But damned if she did not COMPLETELY embody every essence of Jo there is and make Jo my favorite character this time. Truly, nobody except Meryl Streep so thoroughly matched my expectations for their character. Ten Oscars, part II. Or at least the one she is actually nominated for. If Jo loses to ScarJo I will riot. * John was nice. I feel like he was exactly what he was supposed to be, which is to say kind of plain and milquetoast but perfect for Meg. I don't actually remember him existing in the novel, so that was an interesting game of "how important is this guy?" until suddenly Meg was getting married and I realized I did, in fact, have a very dim memory of a wedding from the book. I think I will like their romance more the second time around, though. * Mr. Laurence was VERY EXCELLENT. IDK why I know the actor, even after looking him up, but I liked him in this role a lot. His grandfatherly quasi-adoption of Beth was so sweet. * As for Professor Bhaer...UGH. I hated him on sight and my brain wouldn't even let me recognize who he was for like 3 scenes, I was just like, "who is this random boarding lodger and why are we focusing on that weirdo." I mean, he's objectively handsome? But he did not do it for me. He lacked the gravitas I expect from this character and his thick accent scraped my ears and drove me insane (update from the future: his accent is also driving me insane in the book, where I have peeked in at a few chapters as incentive to reread. whyyyyyyy). * LAURIE: maybe it's been too long since I read the book, but never could I ever have imagined I'd want to use the term "fuckboy" to describe Laurie. It wasn't even Ski Chalet's face so much as it was that in all present-day scenes (post-rejection), he is such an insufferable, melodramatic, pouting trash heap that I didn't want him to marry any of them at that point. (Also YOU STILL DIDN'T MAKE ME UNDERSTAND WHY HE GOES FOR AMY, so good job.**) However, I took especial delight in paying attention to all the cuddly platonic friend cuddling he heaped on Jo growing up, in focus or in the background, and I loved it...kind of a lot? The ship radar made noise. That noise is getting louder by the day, smoothing away his faults. He may have permanently taken up residence in my mind's eye as the new Laurie. ...this is the worst. Make it cease. (**update from the future, I am peeking at the book and it looks like it's a lot easier to understand both in text and when you're inside Laurie's head. He is still clearly sulking his way through Europe, but in a way it's easier to recover from. Also, I don’t have time to unpack this but as I finish the edits on this post I started 5 days ago, I’m starting to think I could not only ship Laurie/Amy, but believe in it from the start.) ACTUAL PLOT AND FILM QUALITY

+ The shifting between past and present was very jarring right off the bat, but after that I think it worked.

+ I loved the attic play rehearsals so much

+ I am so glad Jo’s shorn hair is both fleeting and as hideous as it should look, and not Pixie Cut Chic (Childhood Me wailed at that part reading the book)

+ I remember hardly anything about the book's Part II / Good Wives, so basically everything in their adult lives was news to me. Amy and Aunt March go to Europe? Jo goes to live by herself in New York? Meg marries a relative pauper? Any of this could be true to the book or just made up as an alternate idea to explore, and I would be none the wiser. That made it more fun. (NOBODY SPOIL ME ON WHAT'S TRUE)

+ It did not occur to me until just now that the part where Jo publishes her version of Little Women is not in the book (right?), but that was beautifully done.

+ The house interiors were breathtaking. It's not like I don't regularly watch period pieces, but this time there was just something about seeing an old house, like the ones I am often in for estate sales, decorated the way I always imagine seeing when I enter those homes, that kind of made me tear up. + The outside shots were pretty too + Jo made me cry with her I'm so LONELY! speech, rude. (I went into this movie thinking I was 100% on board to finally read Alcott’s sequels for their Jo/Professor content, and now I'm like 'ah damn it is gonna be the season for the Jo/Laurie AU novel, isn't it.')

+ A strike against Beth and/or the actress playing her: I did not cry about her death (in my defense I was busy crying about Jo's pain).

+ I did NOT remember precisely how Laurie & Amy got married, so even though I knew it happened eventually, I felt that sucker punch to the gut reveal just about as hard as Jo did. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR WIFE.

+ My mom said she’d heard this movie was lauded as being super feminist, which rarely goes well for me, but I thought it felt like really authentic "married women literally were not allowed to control their own income and it sucked" 19th century feminism, and not someone using their 21st century voice to claim this is how people would have REALLY talked if The Patriarchy Of Historical Record hadn't silenced/suppressed it. Nothing rankled me. I’m very confused by the people who think it says Jo is queer and/or didn’t end up with the Professor, but if that’s what you see then I guess it’s a win/win situation for all of us. + LOVED the closing montage. + Basically, at all times that I wasn't annoyed by the casting, I was feeling the same magic I did while reading the book and/or while watching the 1994 movie as a child. I can’t think of any parts I really hated.

IN CONCLUSION

Part of me is honestly kind of sad I didn't reread the book before watching this movie, because even though I usually prefer to go movie first and then get the Expanded Edition that is the book, in this case I wish I'd taken my last chance to properly visualize everything in my head on my own -- since I’ve mostly forgotten the ‘94 film -- before the new movie washed it away forever. This is one of the rare times I would have liked to hope and guess what would be shown vs. cut, and be able to anticipate the thrill of seeing the page come to life.

However, seeing it was the impetus I needed to finally take my childhood copy off the shelf (and thank heavens I have it, because the library request is backed up 3 or 4 deep for every copy), and it took all of 5 minutes to get instantly sucked into chapter 1 and feel such rapturous joy and familiarity that I consciously cut myself off and decided I am going to journal out my feelings after each chapter on this reread. So that’s something!

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs: week 32

brief reviews of the songs which debuted on the billboard hot 100 the weeks of 16 august 1997, 18 august 2007, and 19 august 2017

8.16.1997

6) "2 Become 1," by Spice Girls

This is just a '90s R&B song! This song doesn't even have the courtesy to be kitschy! This is completely indistinguishable from the rest of the '90s R&B, breathy whispered vocals about sex. There's no -- "Be a little bit wiser, baby/Put it on/Put it on" -- okay. OKAY. Sure. I guess that's something. If your song has no other value, might as well throw quality actionable advice in there. I hope the next song is some milquetoast R&B beat while people sing lines like "Your stomach takes a while to tell your brain it's full/Don't have that third slice of the ‘za, baby."

51) "All I Want," by 702

Oh hell yeah, I love this. I love that this is a Missy Elliott track, and I also love that this group did the titular song for Pootie Tang. I am way into this. This is a breezy summer jam that hits all the Good '90s R&B buttons.

54) "To Make You Feel My Love," by Billy Joel

this sounds exactly like you think it would sound and is as pleasant to listen to as you think it would be and i'm just gonna bounce after 30 seconds because i get it, i see what he's trying to do here and don't want to stick around to see if he pulls it off

55) "Big Bad Mama," by Foxy Brown ft./Dru Hill

I don't disagree with this! I can't find any way to hook onto this, but I already called one thing a breezy summer jam because I didn't feel like thinking too hard about it, so I'm in a bit of a predicament here. Like, this song is OK. It has a memorable bass line, Foxy Brown's pretty great at her thing, and whichever member of Dru Hill showed up sure did the most singing of anyone in 1997!, but like I can see why we've left this behind. It's fine. No one needed this one unearthed, though. We've found some buried treasures, y'know? This is like finding a buried booklet of commemorative state quarters. Like, neat! But also, not even $15.

83) "Far from Yours," by O.C. ft./Yvette Michele

"I be the Chosen One/Beyond the Moet and Cristal/A son of King and a Queen/Therefore ability/For song run in my genetics/I gave ideas to L. Ron Hubbard to write books on Dianetics" ...Setting aside the major issues I have with this man's rhyme schemes, IS HE TAKING CREDIT FOR SCIENTOLOGY. IS THI -- IS HE SAYING THAT HE IS THE INSPIRATION FOR SCIENTOLOGY. What the fuck kind of boast. He's saying his raps are so powerful they inspired a crazy man to write books about bad science. I am flummoxed by this song. This would have been just another okay song by a rapper who honestly just seems like a normal-ass dude who somehow wandered into a recoriding studio, but HE'S TAKING CREDIT FOR L. RON HUBBARD'S IDEAS. WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF LUNATIC IS THIS MAN.

89) "Tide Is High," by Angelina

Someone went to the store and said, "OH BOY! Another new verson of 'Tide Is High!' I gotta pick up this new interpretation of this song, which is of course someone's favorite song ever because it's MY favorite song ever!" Also none of the back-up dancers in the video looked like they were trying their absolute best. They knew where they were. They knew it didn't matter. They took a few plays off and got that check. I have so much respect for those backup dancers. ROCK TO THE BEAT ROCK ROCK TO THE BEAT, ROCK TO THE BEAT ROCK ROCK TO THE BEAT and so forth

92) "Relax & Party," by Ivory

So I've been sick the past couple days, which is why this post is going up on Wednesday and why there's no Thing Journal for last week (SUNDAY DOUBLE) and real talk why this has been a weak edition of YAS so far, ‘cuz I'll be honest, I'm still in the doldrums. My back hurts, which is a fun side effect of getting sick in your late 20s, I've found. So I'm not. In a mood? Conducive to caring about this song. I'm sure this is OK, but honestly, right now, in this moment in which we find ourselves, me and this song, sharing the same space on this planet, I could not care less about the things it wants to bring to my life. It's a stupid song and doesn't do anything. It just goes on for four minutes. Great. Great! Hey, just release an album of that fucking bass line for fifty minutes, honestly, it's probably your best bet if you want me to at least respect you.

95) "Dancehall Queen," by Beenie Man ft./Chevelle Franklyn

So there are two different versions of the song "Dancehall Queen" that I could find. There is this one, but there is also one released more recently with Lady Sovereign as the featured artist. So I have a few questions about our beautiful ever-expanding dying universe: 1) What did Chevelle Franklyn do to get deposed? 2) Does Chevelle FRanklyn give input into the decisions Lady Sovreign makes? 3) Who gave Beenie Man the powers of coronation? As far as I can tell, he does not proclaim himself the Dancehall King. 4) How often does the Dancehall Queen title change hands? 5) Is there a library that has data on the Dancehall Queen history which I can look up? 6) What are some books on the Dancehall Queen succession which you would recommend? Let me know in the comments! Hit that follow button and LIKE THIS POST!

8.18.2007

28) "Me Love," Sean Kingston

This is like a song you enjoy if you've never enjoyed a song before. If you're someone who appreciates music and attends symphonies and has opinions on concertos, and you're approached with this song, you'll probably use snooty music language to say, "This is a delightful confection!" Or like, if your musical diet consists entirely of Gary Jules' cover of Mad World and songs of that ilk, if the only songs you've been allowed to enjoy in this life are Gary Jules' "Mad World" cover and other songs which could have been selected for the Donnie Darko soundtrack, and you hear this song for the first time, this is probably the most amazing thing you've ever heard. This would sound so revolutionary. But if you've even heard one other fun pop song, you know this is useless.

89) "Free and Easy (Down the Road I Go)," Dierks Bentley

it is good when things are nice! at last, a song that says what none of us are brave to say out loud

90) "All My Friends Say," Luke Bryan

I think a couple months ago I tabbed this as a semi-iconic Luke Bryan song, in the sense that it's a song I hear and immediately attribute to Luke Bryan, which is something I can't do for any Blake Shelton song. But like, this is the song that establishes Luke Bryan's persona -- he's a free-wheelin' sumbitch who's gonna drink too much and try not to drunk-dial any ex-girls. There's personality in this song, a hack and shitty personality, but hey at least he hacked up and/or shitted out an identifiable character. All Blake Shelton's songs are about a man who wishes things would either be better or remain the same, depending on how good they presently are. The song is garbage and Luke Bryan only ever got worse, sure, but it is undeniably a product of Luke Bryan’s particular brand of dunderheaded twanging.

100) "Can U Believe," Robin Thicke

There is a long list of things I need to do with my life. Near the top are items like "only wear a suit at your little sister's wedding," "learn the lttp any% nmg speedrun," and "write a whole good thing," you know, standard stuff, standard life goals, and then there's a million pages of things I will never accomplish. Nowhere on that list was "listen to Robin Thicke tell you that I don't know when someone's watching." I did not need to hear Robin Thicke tell me he was stalking me before I died. I could have learned the Blind script with this time. Maybe this is about God? But it's not even vaguley Christian, he just randomly starts saying you never know when someone's watching, which is only something anyone says WHEN THEY ARE PRESENTLY LOOKING AT YOU THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR. Been a decade of garbage with this man, my gosh.

8.19.2017

(38) "You Da Baddest," by Future ft./Nicki Minaj

Beach Future is such a weird thing to consider. I'm on the record as being pro-Beach Future in general, it's not as random a pivot as the time Lil Wayne picked up the electric guitar and said "OH YEAH! THIS IS A THING!" but it's still hard to get the brain around the idea of Beach Future after, what, three years and roughly 20 albums of morose, despondent Future? All of the Future songs I know are about the nightmare of being Famous and codeine, and now he's dropped two songs that are just, "Yeah, man, chillax! Life's pretty breezy, friends, pull up a chair, let's just enjoy a sunset together!" I'm into it? But it feels like the world is imbalanced right now. Beach Future has completely thrown off my equilibrium and I am Scared.

(68) "Unforgettable," by Thomas Rhett

Ah. Balance! After making a surprisingly hot '80s jam earlier this year, Thomas Rhett just sort of bleats over an acoustic guitar for two and a half bland minutes. This song tries to turn the word "mangorita" into a stirring kick-off to its chorus, and while I recognize the enormity of the task it placed upon itself, that doesn't mean it didn't fail to accomplish its goals. "From your blue jeans to your shoes/Girl, the night was just like you/Unforgettable." I'D NEVER SEEN JEANS JUST THAT BLUE BEFORE. I NEVER EVEN KNEW THEY MADE BLUE JEANS IN THAT PARTICULAR SHADE OF BLUE. WHY, THEY WERE... DARE I SAY? TURQUOISE! ALL HISTORY'S SCULPTORS DEVOTED THEIR LIVES TRYING TO MOLD YOU

(85) "When it Rains it Pours," by Luke Combs

A lot of the reason I don’t mind Rascal Flatts and Keith Urban when we run through 2007 is because, when I was growing up, my mom would only listen to country music, and those artists are the ones I minded the least when we were on the half-hour rides to and from church. I forged deep and lasting connections with the dudes I minded the least of anyone else. This song is definitely "best song on the ride to church" quality. It has a Toby Keith-y sense of humor which is more or less agreeable -- I can't imagine any scenario that a waitress at Hooters is impressed enough by any customer at Hooters to leave their number, but here I am, complaining that my suspension of disbelief in a country song was interrupted -- and it's unique, I haven't heard a lot of "fuck her, she's outta my hair!" songs from dude country artists this year. It’s not “I’m Gonna Miss Her,” but what is? Once again, Luke Combs has made a song that's unique enough that I can appreciate its charm, but not so intriguing that I'm gonna seek him out on my own. I'll give his next album a spin, see if he takes the right lessons to heart, but the one he’s got out now, I think I’m good!

(87) "They Don't Know," by Jason Aldean

"Just another field/Just another farm/No, it's the place we grew up on." Jason Aldean is a multi-millionaire who owns several hundred acres of land in a major metropolitan area nad has the chutzpah to speak for the common man. Fuck this dude and fuck him for this Trump-vote of a song.

(88) "Honest," by The Chainsmokers

hey guys the chainsmokers made a song about how they're sensitive boys who're sad about breakup, wow what a fascinating new look for these cats, truly evolving as artists before our very eyes. see, this is the one where they go "whoa-oh." i don't think they've gone "woah-oh" in a song yet. this is a pony certainly capable of developing a second trick!

(89) "The Weekend," by SZA

"What kind of deal is two days?/I need me at least 'bout for of 'em" is one of the single-saddest lyrics 2017 has produced. This song is so good. SZA in general is so good, but I never had to deal with how good this song is, given how much there is to parse with Ctrl. When's the last time we heard from a side piece's perspective, y'know? When's the last time we heard how a booty call felt about being a booty call? We heard "Booty Call," which was about the act of engaging in a booty call, but we don't know anything about the booty call's wants and desires outside of that moment. I enjoy hearing this perspective on the events, hearing from the girl the '90s R&B dude has to apologize for seeing, because that's a person, too, that's a person who's alive and lives a life of their own. It took us until 2017 to get the side piece's take on things. What were the rest of us doing?

(90) "New Rules," by Dua Lipa

This is really enjoyable. Nothing terribly complex, just a "don't fuck your ex" jam, but it's confidently delivered (I get the sense that Dua Lipa is a much better singer than the current musical trends are going to let her be), and I love the subtle horn drop. Evidently, the producer of this song was also involved with "Bad Liar" and "Now and Later," so I'm getting on the Ian Kirkpatrick train. I approve! Great work, all.

(93) "I Wish I Knew You," by The Revivalists

oh wow fuck everything about this. where did this come from? why am i listening to this? did 13 reasons why drop another season? who wanted this. who wanted another indie band biting the hell out of franz ferdinand. they're not even biting franz ferdinand, they're biting all those bands that were biting from franz ferdinand a few years ago, except they're doing so nakedly, "the revivalists" is code for "we have no original ideas." way to revive 2013, yeah dude, it was so long since i heard the neighbourhood, i'm so happy you're reviving four years ago. also this willy wonka-ass muthafucka's hat is stupid. i'm honestly not sure i'm reacting to the song as much as i am the stupid goddamn hat in the music video. (also: i'm not into this song, despite the presence of a saxophone. i have limits. i'm not gonna go home with just any brass instrument, you guys.) white men ruin everything.

(94) "Every Little Thing," by Carly Pearce

Well, number one, it's a country music song with actual drums, so it's automatically starting with 95 points out of a possible 100. This is dope. "They say time is the only healer/God, I hope that isn't right/'Cause right now I'd die to not remember." Fuck, man. That is heavy. And this is a solidly-produced song, too, there's enough going on that the song feels rich and lived-in, but not so much so that it's distracting, it's definitely in the backseat wearing a seatbelt so the lyrics and what might be the saddest fucking voice in 2017 country music can drive in peace. More from this woman, and more from other women, look how good you are when you let women do things, country music!

(97) "Learn to Let Go," by Kesha

I think this is fine. I'm not as into EDM-lite Kesha as I am Kesha declaring her womanhood backed by a million beautiful horns, but this is fine! Three songs. Three songs is enough distance to start delivering back-handed not-criticisms. But no, like, I wouldn't mind this as the opening track to the album, this sets a tone and opens up the possibility for cooler things to come, but on its own, hey! It's just alright, and that's fine! I'm just glad Kesha's making music, y'know?

(98) "All the Pretty Girls," by Kenny Chesney

this song wasn't even released in 2016, what is it doing here, what, why would, i don't, how did we end up here? what do we hope to accomplish while we're here? did he just say "don't blow my cover on freedom night?" what is freedom night? i don't -- you know what country radio, you batted .400 this week. that's ted williams hype, right there. .400 is better than any of us ever could have anticipated, and i can appreciate that you got things as right as you ever possibly could. please tell me what freedom night is, though.

(99) "For Her," by Chris Lane

...adjust that number down to .333. i'm sorry. i saw the haircut and assumed edm, which you'll agree is a fair assumption to make. this dude sucks. he is trying his best with that falsetto but, and i hate to repeat myself, you can't make your own outsized ambition an excuse for your failure. know your limits. i'm sorry i was ever lukewarm about any kesha song. i kinda feel bad for saying those things about the revivalists' hat. this was a good week apart from the bro country! "For her I would walk a straight line/Wear out the soles of my shoes for her." WOAH! SLOW DOWN, BUDDY! LET'S NOT MAKE ANY PROMISES WE CAN'T KEEP, NOW! Careful! Girls remember things you say to them! Imagine how disappointed she'll be when every day she spends with you your shoes still shine as bright as they did the day she met you.

Who won the week?

Well, 2007′s best song was a Luke Bryan joint, so that’s out. Think we gotta give it to 2017. Four shitty country songs, yeah, but 1997 countered with Spice Girls and a Billy Joel cover of a Bob Dylan song, so those cancel out, and the cream of 2017 was much better than the best 1997 gave us this week. I’m still thinking about that Carly Pearce joint, that was really cool, and it anchors an earned win for 2017. THE STANDINGS: 2017: 12 1997: 11 2007: 9 Next week: keep your heart, Three Stacks.