#he feared others getting hurt and eventually believed that if he did return to life like 10 years before that he'd face her again

[platinumink]

Odysseus post!Ithaca Saga WORST Ending Headcanon... (TW: Knifes, murder, blood, death)

Do but what if Odysseus wakes up from a nightmare some time after he return home.

Said nightmare was about every bad thing that happened to him but CALYPSO especially. (In this headcanon, Calypso regularly SA-ed our poor man believing that he would truly love her back eventually).

Odysseus of course always defended himself and did whatever possible to get away from Calypso but since goddesses can't die (or be hurt by mortals who refuse to eat anything said goddess offers him) Odysseus never manages to get away before the inevitable happens to him.

So after he wakes up from his nightmare, instead of keeping her distance like Odysseus asked Penelope to do so he could regain a sense of what is real and what was a dream or the past, our beloved queen is with her husband immediately, trying to soothe him and take away the pain and fear her husband is in.

Problem is, Odysseus just dreamt about Calypso doing unforgivable things to him. A little "quirk" Calypso had was to transform into Penelope and gradually retake her true form while forcing Odysseus to lay with her to show him how she could replace Penelope easily and in his hunger and delirium of lack of sleep, he sometimes believed Penelope to actually be here before finding out the truth.

Now, seeing her touch him and being in a bed with him after just reliving the worst time of his life, he believes her to be Calypso in disguise. So instead of embracing his beloved wife and accepting the offered comfort, Odysseus holds his breath, fingers for the knife he keeps under his pillow just in case, turns around in an instant and impales thr imposter on the blade.

Instead of turning back into Calypsos true form and laughing off his attempt, the woman in front of him gasps in pain and shock, tears pooling in her eyes. She raises her hand and carefully places it on Odysseus' left cheek, caressing it gently.

This is when it clicks for Odysseus what he had just done in his panic. With terror building within him, he carefully guides his wife back on the bed, repeating "no, no, no, no, no" and "i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry my love" as well as "what have I done, my wife, gods no, please no!" Over and over again.

Penelope smiles with tears in her eyes and labour's breathing, telling him that it's okay, she's going to be okay, to take care of their son, that she isn't mad at him, that she should have listened to what he told her about keeping distance, that she will always love him and that she will wait for him forever in the underworld to rejoin her by her side. She orders him to say that this was an assassination and that he had tried his best to defend her but reached her too late as her last dieing wish so that he will be able to keep his position ss king and to enable him to keep raising Telemachus to become his next successor one day. Odysseus agrees after a whirl of back and forth full of guilt and anguish.

Penelope died in her husbands arms, her night dress, the bedding and her husband painted in red.

The next morning, Odysseus does exactly what his wife asked of him, speaking of an assassin, of catching the man at the edge of the cliff to the shore, of hacking him to bits and of throwing his remains into the water for sharks and other monsters to eat.

Odysseus and Telemachus mourn the death of their wife and mother together. With time, the creation of a mural and daily offerings made to his mother and the gods Hades, Persephone, Hera and, of course, Athena, Telemachus prevails and though he shall always miss and love his dear mother, he is excited to one day see her again in the Underworld. One day, Odysseus tells him what actually happened and asks his son to kill him. He never managed to move on and does and will always feel guilt, of the atrocity he committed even though by accident.

Telemachus simply holds his father, telling him that he understood and already knew, as he had once dreamt of his mother visiting him in the realm of hypnos. She had already filled him in and asked for understanding and support, which he immediately gave, also stating that no one was at fault for this terrible accident. They grow even closer and spend even more time together after this.

Now, before Odysseus enters the bed to sleep, he will always first complete another few rows of a shroud he is weaving for his beloved wife. No matter how many a shroud it takes, he will make them in her honor until the day he will finally rejoin her to ask her if she would fall in love with him again after what he did to her...

_______________________________

Extra:

Odysseus openes his eyes, having just left the hall of judgement. He still cannot believe that he has died of old age. Just months before, he had crowned his son Telemachus as king and has helped him grow into the role. He will always make a fine ruler and eventually an amazing father and teacher now that his wife was close to giving birth to their first child.

Hermes had done their best to make his transition to the Underworld as comfortable as he could though crossing the border of the Underworld as a soul will always hurt just a little bit. With their help, he could keep his coin, as he had not needed to pay the ferryman for his services. When he had arrived at the halls of judgement, Odysseus had hugged him and thanked him profusely for his aid bith when he was alive and dead.

The god though once again denied his thanks and simpl, informed him that he is in no need of gratitude from his offspring and that he had died. After hugging him again, Hermes had released his Great Grandson to the judgement of the kings.

Even more unreal though, was the fact that he had been offered Elysium. After meeting many of his old men who greeted him with open arms and reembracing Polites who was just as chipper as he could remember, he stood before her again.

As beautiful as always and with a sage expression, she looked at him full of love.

"My love, my dearest queen, my beautiful wife... after everything i've done... would you fall in love with me-"

Odysseus gets interrupted by a body slamming into his, embracing him with a ferocity he did not expect.

"Always, you daft man, my love, my beloved king, my Odysseus! No matter how you change, I shall always fall in love with you over and over again, no matter where or when, you will always be mine, just as I will always be yours!"

Together, they walk hand in hand into eternity, excited to meet their son again one day far into the future.

[kitcat22]

Consumed with thoughts on Earendil, Elwing and their relationship with their sons and grandchildren.

Like… you lose your children. At first you think they are dead, that they have been murdered in cold blood, slaughtered by monsters like so many innocent children before them. You agonise over it, imagining there last moments, if they knew what was happening, how scared they were, if they thought nanna and ada would save them. You grieve and you mourn, you rage at the injustice and rally against it, you tear down one of the evils that loomed of your children their entire life and wish you could take vengeance on the other.

You think that if your children do meet the fate of elves and you pray that they do, you will see them reborn into a world that is safe for them, devoid of hunger and fear and lurking monsters.

But then your children are alive. They survived. They lived as prisoners, hostages and if rumours are to be believed as the adoptive sons of their captors. All this time you thought they were dead not knowing they were waiting on you to rescue them. You did not know that the monsters had kept them and you do not know what the monsters did to them while they had them.

When you learnt this it felt like the world had stopped that you have been left to hold your breath in anticipation for what is to come. You wait by the docks and you listen to the rumours and messengers that pass through them. You fill your tower with all of the things you knew they loved. You paint their walls with murals and make sure their beds are always prepared. In the end though, the seats you prepared for them at your dinner table remain empty for millennia. That is how long it takes for your child to return to you.

Child singular because though both of your children managed to make it through the horrors that formed their lives, only one chose to continue surviving. The news of this hurts, hurts so deeply you think it might never stop hurting. You have felt this pain before but it has not dulled since then, perhaps it has worsened.Once you had a child that you knew like the back of your hand, then he became an adult that you didn’t know, and the he became nothing but memory and history books. You will never get to relearn him personally, that chance is beyond you now by your child’s own choosing. You wonder if he thought of you when he made that choice, whether he knew how much it would hurt. Still, he made the decision he thought best for himself and for that you are proud even in your pain.

The child that returns to you, that beautiful precious child that you could not protect, returns to you as an adult. Like with his brother you missed every moment of his life. You missed his first love, his coming of age, his marriage, the birth of his children. He comes to you almost a stranger.

You can still see who you knew him to be, you see the curiosity of a child that liked to stick his head in books and ask a thousand questions and you see the kindness and empathy of a little boy who wept endlessly at broken winged birds, taking them in his small hands and singing sweet little tunes until they were healed. Now though he seems to be broken winged bird in his own right. The years and all of their burdens have weighed heavy on him, his face may be ever youthful but his fea seems ancient and most of his early time in Aman is spent resting and recovering. He does not know you either, he is unfamiliar with you and though sociable and friendly he seems just as lost as you.

He comes without his daughter. It is a strange thought on its own for your baby to have hits own baby but to know that his own child has been lost to him and you is a pain all too familiar. Here is another granddaughter you will never know to go with all of your dead son’s long dead children. Your grandsons do at least come home eventually but it makes your heart twist uncontrollably to look at them, to see two identical faces and not want to weep for what you have lost.

It does get better eventually. Your son heals, the weight on his shoulders lightens and he walks and dances and sings in merriment once more. You memorise his favourite foods and when you cook them for him and he receives these meals with fondness in his eyes. He tells you of his life, all of the awful parts but all of the good parts too and by the end you think you know him again. You no longer flinch when you look at your grandsons and they are no longer so uncomfortable around you. When you tell your own memories they mock your age but listen wide eyed. Your dinner table is occupied and noisy for the first time in its existence. You sit on the golden beaches outside your home watching your son throw his own sons around in the ocean while they all laugh endlessly and the world seems to be colourful again. You think this must be what it is to be content.

[jeannereames]

This is something entirely random that I’ve been thinking of a lot, but what do you believe Hephaestion would think if Alexander had kids of his own while he was alive? Or even what he thought of his marriage? This probably isn’t something you have evidence for based on historical fact, obviously, save accounts of their bond and general characters. This is more asking for your personal opinions/beliefs. Or just on the characters themselves in your books.

I know he probably expected him to take wives and have heirs eventually, realistically. But if he truly loved Alexander that deeply, to the point they were thought two halves of the same whole, I always wondered what he may feel about it in those situations, or even how he’d interact with the children/Roxana or his other wives in general.

I dunno, it’s just something that’s always interested me. I know I would probably not be able to take it well, personally, so it’s always made me wonder if Hephaestion did.

Hephaistion, Alexander’s Wives, and Romantic Jealousy

Honestly, I’m of the opinion that Hephaistion may have been one of those who encouraged Alexander to marry Roxana (in order to get the hell out of Baktria).

The issue of Hephaistion’s putative jealousy which movie- and documentary-makers return to again and again, creating (to my mind unrealistic) love triangles, owes to some pretty vast differences between Now and Then, regarding marriage and love.

The Greeks got jealous. We have LOTS of evidence of such jealousy in everything from lyric poetry to curse tablets and love philtres. Furthermore, there was nothing remotely like concepts of “When they go low, we go high.” No, when they went low, you were expected to go lower.

Once more, I repeat the ancient maxim for GOOD men and women: Help your friends and hurt your enemies.

Hephaistion absolutely subscribed to that—both the historical man and my character. The historical man apparently made life difficult for Eumenes, at least. And he participated in the torture of Philotas (whether or not one thinks it justified). Near the end of his life, a high-ranking Macedonian official was so fearful of him (and Alexander), he begged his brother, a Seer, to sacrifice and read the omens—and for Hephaistion first. He feared him more.

He was not a man to cross. But notice who he had quarrels with: his equals (or close enough). If there’s any truth to a quarrel with Olympias (I’m dubious for reasons I’ll go into in the monograph), it involved her influence over Alexander versus his own.

Upper-class men and women in ancient Greece, and Macedonia, simply lived very separated lives. Returning to those curse tablets, the bulk of them that involve rivals involve rivals of the same sex. Women curse other women their husbands may be involved with. Men curse other men who they believe/fear their love interest (not always a wife) might favor. If we’re often unsure WHO these people are relative to each other, as we typically have only names, I’ve just not seen much cross-gender cursing, as least not about love. Now, there are literally tens of thousands of these, so I’m sure there are some, but it doesn’t seem to be common.

And I think the reason it’s not OWES to that very gender-segregated nature of Greek life. Women are threatened by other women—not by men. And men are certainly not threatened by women. These are two different spheres. When we do hear men complaining about another man’s obsession with so-and-so hetaira, it’s the SON (or father) who’s worried their love-drunk relative will squander all his money on her.

This is why Hephaistion as jealous of a “mere woman,” even a wife, strikes me as anachronistic—especially by that point in their lives. Maybe in the first flush, he could be jealous, and I do have him initially jealous of Kampaspe in Dancing with the Lion: Rise. But not only does he get over it, he winds up friends with her! (She’ll continue to be important throughout the series, in fact.) He simply needed to know she wasn’t going to replace him.

A wife isn’t going to replace him, especially not a wife married for diplomatic purposes, which is ALL Alexander’s wives, and even mistresses (including Barsine and arguably, Statiera). It would be the same thing with heirs. Hephaistion sure can’t give any to Alexander, so of course he needs Alexander’s wife to do that.

I think, if anything, Hephaistion would have wanted to be involved in helping raise Alexander’s sons/children…just as Alexander apparently intended to be involved with Hephaistion’s. That’s reportedly why he married Hephaistion to Drypetis, the younger sister of his own bride, Statiera (the younger): so their children would be cousins.

For elite classes, there are just a LOT more people involved in raising children than a nuclear family. Alexander’s (and Hephaistion’s) children would have had nurses, attendants, tutors, etc. There wouldn’t have been any expectation that Alexander would “settle down” with his wife and spend all his time with them, like a Macedonian Father Knows Best. Hee.

Hephaistion’s REAL rivals for Alexander’s affections would be competing Hetairoi who might want to muscle in and usurp his influence, or younger teen boys who caught Alexander’s eye, especially if he seemed to be getting too close to one. Pretty Euxinippos was more of a threat (and maybe why he was packed off with the Scythians as an ambassador, at least for a while) than Roxane.

As I’ve said many times, Hollywood really is missing out with Hephaistion when they have him fuming over Roxane (or Bagoas). SO, so much more mileage could be made of the rivalries AROUND Alexander among his top men. The whole Philotas-hatred thing…it’s *juicy*. Eumenes as a bit of a dick at the court, and Leonnatos’s meat-headed arrogance. Perdikkas and Ptolemy sassing at each other. Krateros and Hephaistion. Kassandros like a little weasel back in Macedon. Kleitos cussing at everyone for getting too Persian. There’s the fun stuff!

But that’s mostly not romantic. It’s still about love though: affection.

[tinned-beef]

Allison Hargreeves is being unfairly vilified?

Allison Hargreeves as in 'SA'd Luther' Allison Hargreeves? Allison Hargreeves as in 'confirmed Viktor's worst ongoing fears and anxieties just because Viktor was grieving his friend/stepson and it annoyed her' Allison Hargreeves? Allison Hargreeves 'contributed to the deaths of two of her siblings' Allison Hargreeves? Allison Hargreeves 'nothing anyone else has lost over the course of this nightmare matters as much as what I lost so I'm gonna fuck everything up potentially irreparably' Allison Hargreeves?

That Allison Hargreeves? I mean don't get me wrong I like her but she's very much a villain right now. She's an interesting villain, a compelling villain, a better villain than Reggie since we actually know wtf her problem is and we wish things hadn't turned out this way. But a villain all the same.

i don't think allison is a villain. at best, i'd say she's an antihero. at worst, she was a catalyst for viktor's arc in season three.

i would like to start by saying that i'm not defending allison's actions. i think what she did was wrong. however, i don't think she deserves all the hate that she's gotten. she's a character that is very morally gray, and people continue to paint her in solely black or white.

what i try to convey in this... very long post is that there's a reason for what allison does in season three. the question of if she’s a villain or not can be debated, but i believe that the reasons for her actions don’t make her a villain.

a big reason why the umbrella academy is such an incredible show is that all the umbrellas are flawed and nuanced, and despite it all they love. all of the umbrellas have their faults, and allison is no different.

in season three allison has lost all hope. she thinks she will never see her child again, her husband is dead, the world is ending, and to her it seems like her siblings don't give a shit. amidst all the chaos and the whirlwind of her life, she needs something that she's used to. something she knows how to navigate.

so she turns to luther. and she gets the comfort she's looking for but it's not right.

allison and luther's relationship is something that has been a topic of many debates in this fandom. i don't really want to get into it right now, but they've always been a person of comfort to each other. allison wants to feel loved and cared for, and she thinks she can get that comfort from luther.

allison is naturally selfish. she's used to getting what she wants. she's used to having the world at her fingertips. and yet almost everything she's held close to her heart has been ripped away from her. and she's never getting it back.

in season three she falls back onto her old habits, rumoring people left and right with no consideration for others. it makes sense because it's the only way she knows how to get what she wants.

and then she rumors luther. she doesn't want to lose him either, and she thinks that he's choosing sloane over her (which is true, but she thinks he's leaving forever. she thinks she'll lose him too). but she almost instantly realizes what she's done, almost instantly tries to take it away.

as for her relationship with viktor, that's another can of worms. in season one, allison is the only one really trying to mend that relationship with viktor. but it's a rocky road. allison snaps at viktor, viktor snaps at allison. these two have had tension from the very start. eventually, that bond had to snap.

at the start of season three, viktor is the only one that really tries to help allison. he stands up for her, and comforts her after she returns from la. but by episode three allison is so consumed by her grief that she's already clashing with viktor.

and when harlan makes an appearance, it just gets worse. harlan is like a son to viktor. someone viktor can care for. and when viktor turns that care and attention away from allison and instead towards harlan, it hurts. why is viktor allowed to have his child when allison will never get to see claire again?

in season three luther tells viktor that allison has “always been good to you (viktor)”. but there comes a point where your love and gratitude towards someone can morph into bitterness and hate.

the reason i say allison is a catalyst for viktor in season three is because the writers needed someone to contest his ideas. someone that will create a struggle for viktor that he will ultimately come out of with a new lesson learned. and allison is a great contender for that position. the show needs conflict in order to have an engaging story at all, and tense relationships between the siblings can be seen throughout all three seasons. (luther and diego in season one, ben and klaus in season two)

as for the deaths of her siblings, do you really think she wanted that to happen? she doesn’t want to lose any more people, that’s the main driver of her character shift in this season.

allison turns towards reginald because she sees it as the only option left. klaus does the same thing, so why is it any different when allison does it? she didn’t know her siblings would die in the process.

allison isn’t even the only sibling that has contributed to a sibling’s (almost) death. viktor slashes her throat in season one, ben sacrifices himself to save the world, and luther willingly walks into the room to talk to reginald. how is that allison’s fault?

i think this is also why five gives his talk to viktor, not allison. he understands what allison is going through on some level, understands the despair of losing those who are close to you. understands being willing to do anything to get them back. even though he quite loudly disagrees with allison making a deal with reginald, it's because he knows she's getting tricked. reginald never had their best interests at heart.

they’ve all lost people, and they all react to that loss in different ways. in season 1, when diego finds that patch was killed, he instantly wants to go for revenge. he plans on going after hazel and cha cha but five inevitably talks him out of it.

allison doesn’t have that influence. in fact, diego suggests to instead let that grief out through anger. i don’t think it was a very good solution in the end.

and despite all that, she wants to redeem herself. she tries to tell viktor the truth, she admits that she made the plan for all of them. she kills reginald and she’s the one that pushes the button at the end of season three. there’s so much left that we don’t know. did allison know what would happen when she pressed the button? did she know what reginald’s real plan was?

but in the end, allison is the reality of a person who has lost those who are closest to her. it’s probably the best job the writers have done while showing trauma and grief. i don’t think allison is a villain, and i think that accusing her of solely caring about herself is unfair.

[buccini555]

𝐓𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬: 𝐑𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥 𝐆𝐚𝐧𝐠

≡ They eventually found out that you were having a secret relationship with a rival gang member

⌕ H e a d c a n o n s!

↻ 𝑭𝒕. Draken, Smiley, Angry, Takemichi and Mitsuya

𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧

Draken would be extremely disappointed, but not that you've been dating someone from a rival gang for some time, but that you've kept something important from him, as your friend, he believed you could talk about anything between you and you had trust in each other, so Draken felt cheated and completely lost trust in you.

He would also be worried, because the person you are dating belongs to a rival gang, he would fear that the person was just "using" you, Draken didn't care if the gang was at risk for that fact, he was just distressed to think that you could be in danger.

After he found out, it would take a while for him to accept such a thing from you, he considered it a betrayal and didn't have the ability to even look at you for a while, however, he definitely didn't want to keep a bad mood between you, since despite everything, Draken still regarded you in the same way as before, even though he was hurt.

"I found out that you are dating someone from the rival gang, I hoped even if it wasn't true, since you hid it from me, I'm sorry but, I can't trust you anymore." He would tell you, before, he would go talk to the person you are in a relationship with and let the person know that despite everything, he would continue to take care of you.

Even if he still cared for you, he preferred to do it from afar, Draken preferred to move away and break your friendship, the trust he placed in you was really very important to him, but he would continue to like you and consider you , although he would remove it for the good of both parties.

𝐒𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐲

Surely discovering that you were dating someone from a rival gang for some time would cause a great revolt in Smiley's head, he would not accept that fair behavior from you, which he considered as a friendship based on trust.

He wouldn't forgive you, even if you wanted to, precisely for taking the life of a delinquent very seriously despite seeming like a person who has no commitment to anything, Smiley considered that act as a great betrayal and lack of consideration, both for him, which was your best friend and the gang.

"I thought I could trust you, but I see it's the other way around." As soon as he found out, he would tell you, you would see his smile disappear from his face, he would really be disappointed and hurt in a way, even if it seemed like an exaggeration, it was hard to accept that someone he trusted so much hid this secret for so long.

When he calmed down, he wanted to apologize to you, but he ended up not being able to put his pride aside, despite that, for fear that something bad might happen, he went to threaten the person you date so that that same person would never hurt you.

He returned to talk to you after a while, despite that, a bond of trust had been abruptly severed, for that reason, he could no longer trust you the same way he used to.

𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲

The moment he found out about your secret relationship, Angry first feared that the person you were related to would do you harm for being from a rival gang, then he felt hurt that you kept that important fact from him.

"Not having the reason you didn't tell me, we're friends!" He would tell you, disappointed with your attitude, even so, Angry would at least try to understand the motivation of such secrecy.

After you explained yourself, he would want to talk to the person you are in a relationship with to say that this person better take good care of you and not get you into trouble.

He wouldn't walk away from you or anything like that, even though he was disappointed and had lost some confidence in you, he still thought of you a lot.

From that moment on, nothing would change between you, Angry would not accept that situation so easily, despite that, he did not want to break the bonds of your friendship.

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢

Takemichi wouldn't be able to understand why you would hide something so important from him, if you told him you were having a relationship with someone from a rival gang, he would trust you enough to know that you would take care of yourself.

As soon as he found out, he didn't want to believe it, Takemichi felt betrayed in a way, since he thought there were no secrets between you and him.

He was apprehensive, afraid that you would hide other things from him, despite that, he chose to talk to you and try to resolve all that confusion.

"I'm disappointed in you, I can't hide it, despite that, we're still friends!" He would talk, even if hurt, he wouldn't want to cut ties.

Takemichi would advise you to be careful, he would definitely not trust the person you are in a relationship with because they are from another rival gang, despite this, Takemichi would continue to be friends with you.

𝐌𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐲𝐚

Mitsuya believed that trust was the basis of every relationship, be it love or a simple friendship, he trusted you completely and faithfully believed that you would have no reason to hide any situation from before his eyes.

When he realized the discovery, Mitsuya felt an extreme feeling of disappointment, at the same time, an enormous concern took over him.

Despite the disappointment caused, Mitsuya was still worried about the fact that he didn't know exactly who you were messing with, the fact that he knew that this person was from a rival gang made him anxious, Mitsuya just wanted to advise you to be careful with the guy of the person you were relating to.

Mitsuya would treat you with silence until he accepted the truth he had discovered, once he was calmer, he would talk to you.

"Trust is something very important to me, and you simply ignored it..." He preferred to walk away, for the good of both of you, Mitsuya would still consider you for the years you were friends, but he would no longer be able to see you with the same eyes.

[raincitygirl76]

I wonder how much of the Sargust fallout in 2.06 was due to August being an only child…

He clearly did not anticipate Sara reacting as badly as she did to finding out that her boyfriend had used her tipoff to blackmail her little brother. He probably figured she wouldn’t be happy. But her level of betrayal seemed to catch August off guard. But then, August doesn’t know what it’s like to be truly pissed off at your sibling, but they’re still your sibling.

I had a fight with my sister on the weekend, and we just made up via text. We’re both gone 40 and she’s married with 2 kids (who have their own sibling rivalry issues). But she’s still my little sister, and fighting with her is still not fun.

Sara in 1.06 was not happy with Simon, and I suspect that made it easier for her to cut that deal with August. Judging by 1.06, August could have assumed that Sara doesn’t like Simon very much, and won’t particularly care what August does to him. But again, August has no siblings.

Sara cut a deal with August in 1.06 when she felt betrayed by her brother and panic-stricken at the thought of her mother forcing her to return to the old school where she had been viciously bullied. But eventually Sara’s anger at her little brother cooled. And he remained her little brother.

A few months pass. Simon and Sara aren’t as close as they used to be, with Sara boarding at Hillerska this term. And Sara is preoccupied with both her secret romance and the pending sale of Rousseau. But Simon still tells her when he finds out it was August who leaked the video. And Sara tells August what Simon told her, expecting him to do the right thing. Is she naive for thinking that? Yes. But she’s also only 18 and in love.

Then August uses her information, not to confess his crime to the police “spontaneously” before Simon can turn him in. But instead to blackmail Simon with something or other (Sara doesn’t know the specifics) so Simon can’t turn him in. Sara must be doubting at this point whether she ever meant anything to August, or if he was just using her to keep her quiet about what she knew.

As it happens she’s wrong about that, but it’s not unreasonable for her to doubt August’s motives for pursuing her, given what she’s just found out about how he used the information she gave him. Note on the shooting range she says “Because I was in love with him.” Past tense. Not “Because I’m in love with him,” present tense.

Furthermore, when she tells the truth, partly because she fears Wilhelm will blow August’s head off, Simon is devastated. He trusted Sara, and she betrayed that trust. She betrayed it more than once, has had this information since December and got involved with August anyway. I don’t think it really hits Sara until this point just how badly she’s fucked up, or just how devastated Simon is.

He’s her little brother, he’s in pain, she wants to hurt the person who hurt him. But the person who hurt him is her. She did this to him. Sara is not a forgiving person, look at how she decisively cut Micke out of her life. She must be fearing that she’s ruined her relationship with her only sibling for the rest of her life, that he will never forgive her.

I personally think Simon will forgive Sara eventually. But Sara knows what it’s like to be betrayed by an immediate family member, and knows she will never forgive Micke. It’s not difficult to imagine Sara extrapolating from her own experience, and believing Simon will permanently cut her out of his life the way she has permanently cut their father out of her life.

So she’s hurt her only sibling very badly, and for what? For a guy who turned out to be a duplicitous asshole and used her tipoff to hurt her brother. Again.

And August thinks she’ll simmer down. Yeah, she walked away from him on the shooting range, but he approaches her the following morning confidently. He has an ace in the hole to get his girlfriend to stop flipping out: he’s bought Rousseau for her. August (again, an only child) assumes the gift of Rousseau will be sufficient recompense for deep-sixing Sara’s relationship with her brother.

It isn’t sufficient recompense, and August is taken aback when Sara refuses the magnificent gift. But August doesn’t understand the push-pull of sibling dynamics. That Sara is experiencing family loyalty at a very inconvenient time (from August’s point of view).

August’s father is dead, he’s clearly not close to his mother, and he hates his stepfather’s guts. And he has no siblings, nobody else who understands what it was like to grow up at Arnas with Carl Johan and Louise Horn as their parents.

He was pretty close to his second cousin Erik before Erik wrapped his Ferrrari around a tree. But it seems like that friendship didn’t really get close until a traumatized, recently bereaved 16 year old August showed up at Hillerska as a first year and Erik (then a third year) took August under his wing.

August and Erik knew each other all their lives, but they were only close for about 2 years. And given they first got close at 16 (August) and 18 (Erik), that’s not actually analogous to a sibling relationship. Erik was already old enough to drink and vote, and August only a few years off. That’s not spending your childhood together.

And we’ve seen how superficial August’s friendships with his two best friends at Hillerska are. In S1, August and Vincent trash talk Nils behind his back for being nouveau riche. In S2, given an opportunity, Vincent sells August out, and Nils helps Vincent do so. August does not have any siblings, nor any sibling-like relationships where mutual loyalty is crucial.

So August sees Sara sell Simon out in 1.06 and takes that at face value. He doesn’t realize that Sara is angry with Simon at that point, but will get over it. Because August doesn’t understand the messiness of sibling relationships. Or their importance.

I know adults who have cut siblings out of their lives because that sibling had hurt them so grievously they said enough. But I don’t know anyone who has cut a sibling out of their life without giving it serious thought beforehand. Even if they’re better off without that sibling in their life, it’s still a huge decision. Sometimes it’s a bigger decision than cutting a parent out of their life.

Matters are complicated somewhat by divorce, remarriage, half-siblings, step-siblings, etc. obviously. But generally speaking, if you spent a significant chunk of your childhood living in the same house as someone, the decision to cut them out of your life is a very serious one.

My best friend has two older half siblings she is not close to and has never been close to. But one is 20 years her senior and the other 18 years her senior. She is the only child of her father’s second marriage, and she acts like an only child. The combination of her father’s divorce from his first wife and the massive age gap means she has very few shared experiences with her half-siblings. Now, part of that is on her dad. But part of it is simply that both her half siblings are old enough they could be her parents themselves.

So yeah, August was raised as an only child. Even if it turns out Carl Johan fathered another child out of wedlock at some point, that hypothetical half-sibling didn’t grow up with Carl Johan. There might be curiosity, it might even lead to a bond eventually, but there won’t be the shared childhood experiences.

Whereas Sara and Simon are full siblings close in age. Furthermore, they grew up together, in a traumatic family situation with a father who was an addict (and possibly abusive to boot) and a mother who meant well but was struggling to cope. Even if Simon and Sara never reconnect, they will still always have those shared experiences of growing up as Micke and Linda Eriksson’s children.

So I really don’t think August saw Sara’s total disillusionment with him in 2.06 coming. Because August isn’t anyone’s brother and doesn’t really get it.

[addicted-to-the-knife]

I've come to realise that there are two ways people mischaracterise Will. (NBC Hannibal, specifically)

One being the "uwu innocent babygirl who was manipulated into doing bad things by the big bad Hannibal". And the other being the polar opposite of it, where even his better qualities are turned into something that signify how "evil" he truly is.

Where is the nuance?

Will Graham is a complex character with many different aspects about himself that don't cancel each other out.

He's not a good person. We know that. We should know that. The show has been very clear about that. But he's also not entirely bad either. People rarely are entirely good or bad. I'd argue that nobody is ever just one or the other.

It's not all black and white. And taking moments of his genuine goodness and turning them into something they're not just to prove the point that he's not a good, innocent little baby like some people believe, is just as wrong.

His empathy and compassion are not a lie. He's empathic to a fault. He has true compassion for others; especially those that are weak and vulnerable and are victimised by others or themselves or failed by the system. He genuinely wants to help them.

Of course he's doing that for his own gain. One could argue that his motivation is selfish, since he could not live with the guilt of lives not saved or letting victims be even more victimised. So, he helps in order to make himself feel better. He also helps others in an attempt to prove to himself that he's not as bad as he fears he is (especially in season 1).

To say that because his reasons for helping are selfish and only for his own gain, whatever that may be at times, make him a bad person and that he's actively preying on the vulnerable for it, is such a huge misunderstanding to me. Helping people is seldom a completely selfless act. Most people do it to get something in return; even if that something is simple acknowledgement and recognition for having done something good. The motivation behind it shouldn't matter as much if people are being helped in a genuine way that is good for them.

And to take Abigail as an example for his "true predatory and manipulative ways" is also not the way to go. He was genuine with Abigail. His killing of her father triggered such unbearable guilt within him that he reacted irrationally and tried to forcefully insert himself into her life and replace her father in order to minimise the guilt and make up for what he's done to Abigail. His intentions weren't bad, but they were selfish. He didn't manipulate her, though, nor was he preying on her vulnerability. He did genuinely care about Abigail (or rather, an image of her that his guilt produced), too much one could argue, and he acted irrationally and selfishly; because (re)actions fuelled by strong emotions are always irrational.

He was also very genuine about helping and caring about Georgia and Peter, for example. Especially Peter is a good example because that was at the beginning of the honeytrap. By some people's logic, he shouldn't have a single reason to care about Peter and be a friend to him, and he should have only been getting close to him to manipulate him. But that's not what happened. Will saw himself in Peter and he wanted to prevent from what eventually happened to happen at all. He genuinely wanted to help Peter out of his situation and come away as unscathed as possible.

Also, let's not forget that he had no reason to put on a facade with Bedelia in the second half of season 3. When he says, during their session, that his first instinct is to help a wounded bird, he wasn't lying or putting up an act. He was being genuine. His empathy and compassion for the weak and vulnerable is real. He wants to help. And he'd much rather hurt whoever has wounded the bird in the scenario. Bedelia even admits that her first instinct is to crush a weakened animal. Neither of them saw a reason to lie to the other.

When Will kills people, he feels righteous. He kills people that "had it coming". They deserve it, in his mind, for having hurt and/or killed others.

He's manipulative, yes, but from what we know and have seen, that is pretty exclusive to people in power, like Hannibal, or Jack. He doesn't manipulate a weakened person. (The only example that is iffy on either side is with Chiyoh, maybe. It shows that he's no better than Hannibal; even if he still wanted to believe that about himself at the time. He forced Chiyoh to kill because he was curious and he manipulated everything around that for it to happen. But again, Chiyoh isn't a weak or vulnerable person; especially not in Will's mind.)

By no means is Will a good person or innocent. And Hannibal didn't make him a killer. That was already inside him and all Hannibal did was to let that beast loose. And Will likes it. He likes how powerful he feels, and he likes the rawness of it all. And yet he doesn't use that against people that are already victims.

The fact that Will isn't a good person does not negate that he's empathic and compassionate and that he has a genuine want to help others. Because those things alone don't make you a good person. Those qualities can be true and exist, just like his enjoyment of killing and having power over others do. At the same time. They don't cancel each other out. That's exactly what makes him such an interesting and complex character.

[kommandonuovidiavoli]

Obviously don't answer if it's a spoiler but...

In the show we saw how badly Kuki dealt with things she loved being taken from her / kept out of her reach. Like when her rainbow monkeys were stolen or when Bradley was hurt. So all this to say, how did she take it when Wally (presumably her best friend and the person she loves most in the world) was...taken from them?

I love that these came one after the other because one is the answer to the other.

Long story short, she didn't take it well.

[TW: eating disorder, depression, bad family relationships]

Things were actually going on since the teen AU. I wanted to do a comic or something but due to the nature of it, I don't think I'll ever actually do it, so here's the explanation.

When she turned 13, Kuki started having some hormone problems that made her gain weight (not too much, but she had to be careful about what she ate). Her family noticed immediately, and they started to rudely point out how she was getting fat and using not so nice words to express their discontent. It arrived at a point (in the teen AU) where she wouldn't eat anything during the day, especially in front of other people, feeling ashamed and fearing they would point it out, especially Wally. This only resulted in an uncontrollable hunger in the nighttime, where she would eat whatever was in the fridge and start to hide snacks she bought under the bed when her parents found out what was going on.

Wally was the first to find out what was going on and tried to help her as much as he could, but he really ended up using the wrong words and making her feel worse (not on purpose, but if you don't know how to tackle certain things, you end up worsening the process).

Things seemed to stabilize when she found out she was pregnant, and her hunger somehow was reduced. She passed those months mostly at Wally's place (because it was hell at her own) and the two planned on getting decommissioned, buying a house, and finding stability. Nigel suggested buying the house in front of his own since it was vacant, and with some help from everyone, they managed to secure it and pay it slowly. Their new life looked promising.

Then Wally disappeared.

She tried all she could to keep a happy demeanor, especially for the baby, but as days passed and Wally was nowhere to be found, she felt that hunger return, and found some comfort... too much comfort in food.

Luckily Nigel got to her before it got too out of hand, and for some months lived at her place to make sure she and the baby were ok.

Abby and Hoagie visited whenever they could to help as well, and when finally even the Beetles had sorted their problems out (because yeah, THEY LOST A SON!) they were more than happy to help her with the house, the baby, and more. Especially Lou, for some reason. He was the one Kuki let out about her problem with food, and he suggested getting some help, at least for the sake of the baby.

She did, and in a few months, she also managed to get a job and "move on" as much as she could.

After the Nightmare War, she helped Nigel get back in shape and took care of Penny. Keeping herself busy was her way to not think about problems, and she made sure to always smile to make herself believe it was ok.

She also managed to find a new love interest (not sure if it's going to be OC or canon, still working on this part), so when the Beetles moved back to Australia, she had help and support for herself and Sami.

She had some ups and downs, but overall she held up pretty well on her own, she always managed to find a good side on everything!

Eventually, she and the new partner would break up, and he slowly disappeared from her life, leaving another hole. Again, she found relief in food but in an unhealthy way, this time it got her to the hospital.

She got back up on her feet, just in time for Wally's return. The two didn't get back together immediately, Wally also stayed at Nigel's for a few months so as not to push himself on her and Sami, but they eventually let feelings win.

At this point of the Adult AU, she has her memories back, is working a job as a daycare teacher, and is still fighting eating problems, in the sense that she might not eat for some time and then eat too much all at once.

Luckily, this time Wally is prepared and knows how to help, support, and make her feel loved and special ❤️❤️❤️

[idrilterunya]

Imagine Patrick learning that you love him

'Why did you never tell me?'

Y/N sighed, her back to Patrick as she had began to pull on her jacket.

'What are you talking about?' She asks as she slowly turns to face him. They were the only ones left in the office, Lisbon had left not so long ago after spending some time chatting. She had came to the office to meet Patrick, planning to go to dinner and to talk some more.

They hadn't seen one another for a number of years, not since Patrick had married Angela. Y/N and Patrick had grown up together at the carnival when they were younger. Until he had left with his father, they kept in touch with calls and occasional letters.

They found one another by chance, Patrick and Lisbon had attended a crime scene, they had begun to question witnesses. He was surprised to find her there, as he believed she had moved to New England to reconnect with her family. And there she was in standing before him, she hadn't tried to reach out or to let him know she was in California.

Over the past several weeks they spent time catching up and filling each other in on their lives. Y/n had been his first love, although he had never admitted it to her and when his dad took him away he thought he wouldn't see her again.

He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but when he returned back the office, he couldn't help but stand by the open doorway as he listened to Y/N and Lisbon talk. He couldn't help but smile as Y/N talked about some of their happier memories. But his heart stopped as Lisbon asked Y/N if she had ever loved him, more than a friendship.

'I heard you and Lisbon talking, you never told me'

'How could I? We were young, and I was too scared to tell you. You were my best friend, my only friend and I didn't want to lose you because you didn't feel the same' Y/n talks a seat at an empty desk as Patrick remains standing before her 'We then went our separate ways and then you met Angela, I didn't want to ruin that. Most of all I just wanted you to be happy

Patrick remained silent as he took a seat and rolled over to sit directly in front of Y/N.

'How long?'

She looked away, finding it difficult to meet his face but most of all to admit after all this time how she truly felt. She had tried to move on, going on dates but she could never find anyone who wanted to stick by her side. Once they got what they wanted she never saw them again, and eventually she just gave up trying.

'Always' she quietly replied, scared to look at him once more. Her heart racing in her chest as she feels her anxiety reaching an all time high. The fear of rejection even scared scared her now, Y/N didn't want to hear it. She wished to leave and never face him again, she felt like a teenager all over again. Y/N had longed for someone to love her, to love her for who she was, inside and out. She grew worried that she was going to lose him again, her only friend she had in the world. Feeling angry at herself for revealing her darkest secret with Lisbon.

Y/N needed to get out of there, wanting nothing more than to run home and lock the door behind her. Never to face the world again. She had started to stand from her chair, until Patrick quickly grabbed her wrist.

'Where are you going? We need to talk about this. Is this why you stopped answering my calls? I thought I did something wrong, that you hated me' he stands up again, their eyes meeting once again.

Turning to face him once again, she pulls her arm from his grasp 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. It just hurt so much seeing you both together. I never hated Angela, you were both so happy and I didn't want to get in the way of that. I needed to get away so that I could move on with my life, to be happy and maybe find my own happiness'

'I needed you, after Angela and Charlotte. I needed you more than ever'

'I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help you'

'Why? Why weren't you there?' He asked her, his voice becoming louder.

'I was scared to face you, after all this time and everything that has happened to you and to me. I still love you now as much as I did when we were kids. And I couldn't admit that to you' her body feels as if it vibrating, finally admitting to herself and to Patrick her true feelings 'I wish I could turn back time and make things different but I cant'

'I guess we're both as bad as each other'

'What are you talking about?'

'I will always love Angela and Charlotte, I miss them every day. I loved Angela and she made me happy' he tells her, he slowly moves closer to her. It had been several years now since the death of his family, he did feel guilty when his heart started racing seeing Y/N again. He had taken some time to think if he was doing the right thing by his lost family, but he was certain he didn't want to lose Y/N again. He knew in his heart that Angela would want him to be happy again 'Seeing you again Y/N you have brought happiness back into my life. I've missed you but I was an idiot not telling you how I felt before I left the carnival'

Y/N is confused as she takes in his words, he takes her hand into her and begins to lightly stroke it with his thumb.

He places his free palm against her cheek, looking deep into her eyes.

'I love you Y/N'

'Patrick...' She whispers loud enough for him to hear 'You don't need to say that for my benefit'

'I'm not, I mean it. I just ask for you to give me a chance, see where things lead. Please?'

'Are you sure you want to do this? After everything that has happened, are you ready?'

Choosing not to answer her question, he instead he makes a bold move and presses his lips against hers. Y/N is shocked at first, unsure how to react, she closes her eyes as he deepens the kiss. Y/N places her hand on the back of his neck as their lips move in perfect harmony. Patrick is the first to break their kiss, as they catch their breath be presses his forehead against hers.

'I want to try, only if you want to' he tells her.

'Okay'

Patrick smiles brightly as he pulls away, taking her hand he leads her out of the building and into the cool night air.

[ariadosanon]

Off Screen Post - [Reunion Circle]

Tw: PDA, mentions of a toxic relationship, forgiving toxic behavior. Please heed the Tws.

Agate Village was one of the last places in Orre that still sustained any kind of plant or Pokémon life.

Hidden away on a high mountain, it had been all but spared from the devastating unchecked Industrial Revolution that brought the region to dust. The town was primarily populated by elders and their Pokémon— a reward that many took for reaching old age in Orre. Living in close proximity to the Relic Stone would ease the stress of their eventual journey back into the flow of time.

Victoria was sitting under a tree overlooking the village, far away from any other people. She rest her sharp chin on her knee, watching as a family reunited with their grandparents for a visit.

She was here to meet someone, too.

A brief feeling of dread washed over her, an oppressive force in the wind. She turned her gaze, watching as Professor Snakewood emerged from behind the tree she had been resting under.

Victoria frowned, looking him in the eyes as she spoke:

“You look tired, [Ibrahim.]” she said, placing her hands on the grass.

“I am beyond tired.” He sighed, “May I sit with you?”

She hesitated for a moment.

“Yeah. Yeah, go ahead.”

Victoria had expected to be able to be mad at Snakewood, at least for the beginning of their conversation. But he looked different now. His eyes were full of sorrow, his eternal smug smile was gone— He hadn’t come to boast of his return.

Snakewood took a seat with his legs crossed, close to Victoria, but not right next to her. Silence hung in the air for a while as they sat, watching over the happy inhabitants of the calm village.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry, Victoria.” [Ibrahim] said, turning his attention fully to her. “I went too far. I didn’t just hurt myself, I hurt you. With my words, with my actions.” He grimaced.

“Even before I edited myself to lose all sense of fear, I wasn’t being a good partner. Not at all. After I started gene editing myself I— it was all about work. About that goal.” He said. “I made fun of your work, of your passion for agonies. I didn’t regard the things you valued as important unless I too valued them.” He admitted.

“I even ignored you on Enamorus’s Eve, even though I knew that holiday was special to you. I didn’t listen when you set your boundaries about— Great Hoops— it’s so stupid to even say now — about being made ‘perfect.’” He picked at the grass anxiously, his brow immensely furrowed.

“You didn’t deserve any of that.” The Professor finished softly. “You‘re wonderful. You’re more than perfect. You’re…” he looked down, unable to look her in the eyes as he spoke. “You’re the reason I stayed sane. I needed to apologize. I needed to at least give you that.” [Ibrahim] finished with a long, shaky sigh.

Victoria looked away, seeming to think about what he had said. Her expression was unreadable as she mulled it over, hugging her knee to her chest. She had been hurt. Everything he said was true. She hadn’t expected him to realize what he did in the final weeks of their relationship to make her feel so miserable. Much less take accountability for those things.

She slowly reached out, taking his shadow-stained hand in her own, scaly one.

Snakewood immediately teared up, hiding his face with the hand that was still free.

“I know what it’s like for power to blind you. Especially when Legendary Pokémon get involved.” She said, squeezing his hand gently.

“I’m willing to give you another chance, [Bibi.] I am- but you need to listen to me. You need to change.”

“I have changed.” He promised, turning his whole body to her. “Believe me, more than you know, I have changed.”

“Alright, you can show it then, yeah?” She said, taking his other hand and pulling him even closer.

They embraced tightly, a long groan of relief escaping Victoria’s mouth. Even after setting her new boundaries, she couldn’t hide that she was beyond overjoyed to have her boyfriend back. Snakewood nuzzled into her cheek, giving her soft kisses and smiling happily.

“I missed you.”

[crimsonlyinglilly]

No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL

Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | "Is there anybody alive out there?" (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)

Here's Day 19 of @whumptober 2024

back to Reincarnation Woes

----

Kol should have known better, Elijah was his other half, the only constant for several lives now and likely longer as he had no idea how to fix the curse he had accidentally placed on them.

They knew their siblings were out there, Freya and Dahlia as well, given she had prepared a way of immortality before she had come for- well they were all out there in the world somewhere but they thought it kinder not to look for them.

No doubt their siblings had assumed they died centuries ago and Freya and Dahlia had already mourned them once, it was easier for everyone.

They were cursed to lose everyone around them, to lose each other over and start over a handful of years later, there was no reason to bring more into that pain.

They had been born close in age this time,  Kol from a foolish misadventure and Elijah had died of old age.

Elijah had promised not to go, when they heard rumours of undying monsters.

Of one monster hunter the vampires close by.

They knew who it was.

Kol should have known better than to believe Elijah, yet he had returned home to find the cabin abandoned.

Elijah’s weapons taken.

He turns and runs the moment he puts it together.

The first sign he finds in a broken arrow and blood in the snow, vampire blood first, Elijah must have enchanted his arrows to slow a vampire’s healing as he found a blood trail to follow but soon enough he came across an area of churned ground and melted snow. 

A discarded sword, Mikael’s sword.

After that far more blood joined the trail until he got to the end.

Elijah sat against a tree, his own sword sticking out of his torso, Kol didn’t think but dropped to his knees to start chanting a healing spell.

“So-rry.” Elijah wheezed, blood flecking his lips as he did.

“No, no, you don’t,” he hissed as he moved his hand to the wound his magic had done nothing, meaning something was blocking him “you idiot.” he snapped as he realised what it was, old magic, spiteful magic, something Elijah had studied in his third life and Kol’s second 

“I had to.” Elijah told him, a hand reaching out to grab his, it was cold. “I made him relive their deaths, Henrik’s too and the day he returned to find Freya dead. He will understand how I felt and everytime he remembers what he did, he’ll feel it all over again, like I do.”

“No,” he snapped, “you could have stayed home and let him pass. Instead you got killed by your own sword.”

“I couldn’t-” Elijah started.

“You let him kill you again.” he cried, his voice breaking, it was too similar to the first time.

“I hurt him.” Elijah insisted, eyes bright blood, spreading with every word with more flecks of blood, Kol knew the fact the sword remained in him and the cold that kept him alive long enough for him to get here.

“And he killed you.” he said slowly.

“He did-n’t want to.” Elijah grinned at him, pale skin and bloodied lips, dying but pleased about it because it managed to hurt his murderer.

Kol had a sinking feeling this no matter what he did wasn’t going to be the last time. Elijah would take any way to punish Mikael for tearing his family from him

Kol was going to be left to clean up the aftermath, bury or burn his brother over and over.

Like he was going to do anyway, because all of this was his mistake.

“You're going to do this again.”

“Yes.” Elijah told him unrepentant, because why fear death when it never lasted and they couldn't avoid it.

He twisted to sit beside Elijah, shifting his brother to rest against him before pulling the sword free and held his brother as he bleed out, triumph smile still on his lips.

“I’ll see you soon, brother.” he pressed his lips to Elijah’s forehead and he closed his eyes

Elijah would be reborn sometime in the next five years, in a new family of Kol’s bloodline with parents and siblings he would lose eventually, knowing he could never follow them into the place after death.

It was a curse in so many ways.

He really was a prodigy, no one else could have made a nightmare like it.

---

Kol places the stone on his brother’s grave as the sun rises.

He was right, it wasn't the last time.

[tarnishedinquirer]

Roderika and Hewg

I'd seen the larder from the walkway above, but it didn't prepare me for the experience of climbing over these bodies while the troll above dropped fluids on my head. It's good to know I can still be shocked and disgusted, even after all I've seen.

On top of the pile, I found a brooch wrapped in a red handkerchief. It somewhat resembled Roderika's hood, and when I picked it up, I could sense spirits lingering around it. I'm no medium, but my third eye isn't entirely closed. I couldn't make sense of anything they were trying to say, if there was even any sense to make at all. The voice referenced Roderika's line about "Chrysalids," so I think even someone without my skills would see the connection.

I found Roderika where I left he, still lost in her despair. She immediately perked up when I showed it to her though. She stared at it like she was listening, and then she started to cry. That's a good sign. I've been in that pit of despair before, and you don't even feel enough to cry. Still, it's dangerous. Once you start feeling again, you start hurting too. She needed to be around people, so I suggested the Roundtable Hold. They might be weirdos and hazbins, but better than here.

I found her by the fire in Roundtable hold. Glad she took me up on my offer. She still seemed pretty steeped in self-pity, but at least she was looking forward now and trying to figure out what to do next.

Walked in on Master Hewg praying. Someone with more tact would just leave him to it, but inquirers with tact don't get very far.

Your divinity, have mercy, and grant me forgiveness. The road is yet long. A God is not easily felled. But one day, without fail, you will have your wish. So please, grant me forgiveness, Queen Marika..."

So... was the "sheer terror of her" referring to Marika? Could be. It was an easy conclusion to jump to. Maybe too easy. Some gods are feared, some are loved. No reason it can't be both, but his prayer sounded more in the latter camp than the former. Regardless, Marika wanted him to forge a god-slaying weapon? Some sort of divine suicide pact, or is there another God that needs slaying?

It was about then he noticed me. He seemed upset about being caught praying and said he'd be more careful in the future. I didn't press the issue, but while forging my staff, he asked me about Roderika. Said she's a spirit tuner and she reminded him of someone he knew long ago with eyes the same hue.

Cryptic. So now there's up to three women in Hewg's life. Let's make it four.

I went back and forth between the two of them for a while. Neither one seemed to believe that the other one could possibly want anything to do with them, but eventually I got them to talk to each other.

Roderika set up shop across from Hewg and offered to upgrade my spirit summons using the Gloveworts I've been finding in catacombs. They're strange bell-shaped plants, continuing the motif of sound (especially bells) being related to spirits.

It hadn't passed my notice that Roderika abandoned her hood once she set up shop. There's only two places she could have left it.

Tried the shack first, but all she left there was a bouquet of red flowers and a candle. That meant there was only one other option.

I returned to the larder with the "Chrysalids" and sure enough, there was the hood. I was impressed. It wasn't easy to get this deep into the castle, and Roderika did it just to pay tribute to her fellows. She'll be alright, I think.

Sure enough ,the voice had things to say about the hood.

A hooded cloak of vivid crimson. Worn by expatriated royalty. Such cloaks were gifted to those who departed on journeys without specific orders, to faraway lands from which they would never return. In other words, the gift of a cloak made it easier for undesirables to be on their way. Roderika never once saw the guidance of grace.

So she was sent to her death here anyway. Was there some political upheaval? Did she somehow disgrace her family? Or was there just not enough inheritance to go around? That seems the most likely. Make it look like an honor.

Why was Roderika exiled?

What is special about Roderika's eyes? Why can I see spirits too?

Why was Hewg tasked with forging a god-slayer?

Is Marika the one he's afraid of? If not, who?

For that matter, who did he know that was a spirit tuner?

[initiumseries]

Hi,

I searched your blog but didn’t see anything, not sure if I’m using the wrong keywords.

I’m watching Angel for the first time and I’m wondering what your takes were on Spike being a champion and the whole Nina/Angel relationship.

Thanks for looking! I haven't talked too much about s5 because usually on a rewatch I'm sick of the show by season 3, but I've contemplated skipping s4 entirely or just watching episodes and then jumping to s5 to refresh me. But anyway, I never really had strong opinions about Nina and Angel. I think at most, I was glad we were finally no longer acting like sex was off the table for Angel, because it never was. Sex with Buffy is off the table and that's because, well, true love. So with Nina came the acknowledgment that there was not the same kind of feelings there and that was fine. Especially after the whole horrible Cordelia thing, it was a breath of fresh air at the time. I don't know if I'll still feel that way now, but I did at the time.

As for the Spike thing...well...hmm. Lol. I don't believe Spike earned his position as a Champion. I think that they made Spike a poor man's Angel and I think his character deserved better than that. Angel's soul was thrust upon him, sure, but he rose to the occasion when called. Spike, did not. Spike lamented his circumstances despite doing it to himself. He whined and self pitied and then was used against the side of good to kill potentials for the first because he was so weak willed. I don't think he did a single think in s7 BTVS to deserve being a champion other than sacrificing himself, which, honestly, isn't enough, because again, he didn't do that to save the world, he did that to save Buffy. Spike's motivations for being "good" have always been either, because he still got to kill (when he had the chip), and then eventually because it got him closer to Buffy. In Angel, s1-3, Angel is put through hell because he is still atoning, but Spike...just gets to be a Champion now? Lmao. He doesn't earn it, and it's insulting honestly. But I think shows struggle with characters changing while still maintaining their core personalities, because it requires a longterm goal and plan.

Consider Zuko's redemption arc. It's probably the best redemption arc ever done on television. But it's because from the very beginning, Zuko was not irredeemable. He struggled, but he received love, he was forced into situations that exposed him to the violence of the fire nation, and ended up on the receiving end of that brutality. He was stripped of his royal status and had to interact with every day people, seeing the scars of war. It fundamentally changed him as a person. And even then, when the time comes for him to make a big choice, he makes the wrong one. He chooses his home, his sister, his previous life, and Aang nearly dies for it. But he had idealized the palace, and when he returns, and his uncle refuses to speak to him, he feels shame and regret. He realizes he isn't the same person he was when he left. He finally makes the right choice, and seeks out the Gaang, and they don't accept him easily. When they do, it's because Zuko *acknowledges* how he hurt them and how he plans on doing better. And even after ALL that, he still has to win over Katara.

But Spike? Lmao. Spike gets a chip in his head - which on its own is hilarious and fun - but becomes exhausting after a while. He doesn't spend more time around the scoobies and begin to see value in what the scoobies are fighting for. He doesn't begin to realize all the fear and harm and damage demons do to humans. He doesn't even actually save anybody, he just kills demons because it's the only people he can kill. He creates the buffybot out of his obsession with Buffy, and she rewards him for it. He doesn't go out and save people on his own, he kills demons on his own. He doesn't begin a path to redemption and keep trying to do right. He manipulates Buffy into spending time together "fighting evil" to expose Riley and stands outside her house so long he leaves piles of cigarettes. When he keeps Joyce and Dawn safe, it's to impress Buffy. It's not really about Joyce and Dawn. Sure, he likes them, but if they weren't an extension of Buffy, he wouldn't care about them nearly as much. He has no path to redemption, no reckoning with who he used to be, no guilt even. With a soul he mocks Robin, and wears his dead mother's jacket. Angel was ANGUISHED over what he'd done before. Spike tries to rape Buffy, then gets a soul to punish her. He never truly apologizes or is forced to confront what he did to Buffy. The scoobies aren't even allowed to be mad at him over it, much less make him work for their forgiveness. Buffy just lets it all slide. Then he self immolates and he's a champion? Where's the path to goodness? Where's the redemption? Where's the amends? Angel has an entire episode dedicated to making amends. Spike? Lol.

So all that to say, I don't think him becoming a Champion is any more earned or deserved than I think it made sense for Cordelia to suddenly take Buffy's place cuz she got visions.

[deadbydangit]

With a reader that's a crybaby

Trapper, Trickster, Ghostface, Dwight, Jeff, Claudette

Trapper

Oh God, please. Please just- just stop crying.

Evan really doesn't know how to comfort others.

His upbring made him callus and unable to feel any empathy.

In his book, crying meant weakness; and weakness meant his father would do something terrible.

If you're crying because you're hurt, he'll patch you up, wipe your tears, and sigh.

A few head pats is all you're going to get.

But he means well.

If you're crying because of someone else (as in they said something or hurt you) he'll head out only to return a short while later with hands covered in blood.

No one disrespects his lover.

Despite his cold outward nature, he really hates seeing you cry; he's just not great at consoling.

He really does love you, and it truly pains him to see you so upset.

Give him time and lots of love. He'll eventually come around.

Trickster

He can be kind of a crybaby himself.

More whiny than anything.

"Ugh, Y/N I broke a nail" that type.

He can be selfish and has a hard time sympathizing with other's plights.

If you're upset because you're hurt, well, you're probably going to have to deal with that on your own.

In fact, if he gets hurt he's going to be the one coming to you in tears because he got some minor injury like a paper cut.

If you're crying because someone insults you, then fear not. This man will shower you with compliments in the most poetic string of words you've ever heard.

By the time he's through speaking, you might just be as arrogant as he is.

He'll drown you in gifts, maybe give you a make over.

Might go kill that survivor later, all in your name.

Ghostface

You expect this little shit to have empathy?

Ha, in your dreams.

First, he's taking pictures. Lots and lots of pictures.

This asshole has an album of just you in tears.

Laughing at your misery.

If anything, he's going to tease you so relentlessly, you'll cry even more.

If you get hurt, he's laughing about how you did it.

"Ha, dumbass. I can't believe anyone could be that stupid."

But he'll patch you up after.

If you get really hurt, he's willing to help you walk and get minor things you need.

Lord knows he's been in more than a few scraps that left him crawling.

If it's because someone hurt your feelings, well you're gonna toughen up regardless.

Eventually, this man's teasing would prepare you for any insult hurled your way.

If you are very upset, he'll swallow his pride and try to comfort you. Usually by telling stories or jokes to get you to laugh.

Eventually, you'll forget why you were even crying in the first place.

Dwight Fairfield

He's pretty sensitive himself, you'll find yourself comforting him frequently.

But if you're upset, the first thing he'll do is assume he did something.

He'll sputter out a chain of flustered apologies, probably end up crying himself.

Once he figures out he isn't the problem, he'll be the best damned emotional support you could ask for.

Are you hurt? He's going to patch you up. Kiss every inch of the wound. Tell you how brave you are for getting through the incident.

He'll do everything in his power to make you as comfortable as possible in order to reduce the pain.

Someone hurt your feelings? How dare they!

Threatens to go talk with them, maybe even beat them up.

You know he won't do that; but it's the thought that counts.

Oftentimes, he'll start crying because you're crying. You both cry together, then end up falling asleep in each other's arms.

Jeff Johanson

Oh darling.

This man has a heart of gold and you can't convince me otherwise.

He's the master of consoling.

If you want to talk, he'll listen like his life depends on it.

Because you ARE his life.

Want to cry it out? He'll be there for hugs.

He's a living teddy bear.

Want to talk? He'll listen and offer advice.

You'll feel acknowledged and heard.

Got hurt? Let's take care of those nasty injuries and take a moment to breathe.

He'll kiss every inch of the wound if it makes you feel better.

Someone hurt your feelings? He's going to speak with them.

Not in a violent way like some others. He's a gentle giant and will often come back with the person who made the comment in the first place.

He will be the mediator between the other person and you. Having you work out your differences and finding ways to think of an alternative response to the situation.

Seeing you cry breaks his heart.

But crying and being weak is just part of being a person. He knows that.

Express your emotions, he'll always be there for you.

Claudette Morel

Oh you poor dear.

Are you hurt? What happened?

Concern will fill this girl's eyes as she holds you in her arms.

She'll rock you back and forth in an attempt to quell your sobs.

If you got hurt, you won't have to worry for a second.

She's prepared with an arsenal of herbs and medical knowledge.

She'll patch you up in no time. You won't be hurt for long.

Did someone say something cruel?

She'd been bullied since she was a child. Considered abnormal by other children.

She'll be your moral support, offering advice and listening to you.

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Rising Tension

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 4,457

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Read on AO3

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Summary: Tav and the others finally make their way to Moonrise Towers. Halsin remains in camp as he contemplates he and Tav's awkward encounter from the morning. Part 25 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: This chapter is a bit more setup to get us to some more juicy parts of the story :)

Tav wrapped one arm around her chest as she walked. She had made such a fool of herself this morning. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense though. Regardless of the companionship she felt between the two of them, the fact of the matter remained that she was carrying an illithid tadpole. She couldn’t exactly blame Halsin for not wanting to get too close to someone who could turn into a mind flayer at any moment.

“Hey, soldier.” Karlach jogged up to her side and looped her arm around Tav’s. “Why the long face?”

“Just a rough morning is all.” She gave a weak smile in return.

“Oh?” Karlach’s playful grin drove the dagger of shame further into Tav’s gut. “Have a little too much fun with a bear?”

Her teasing words caused tears to well up in her eyes. She cleared her throat to get rid of the lump forming there.

“Oh…” Karlach’s face fell. “Something happen?”

Tav sniffled before telling Karlach of her blunder with Halsin. She felt like a child, sniveling and crying over a crush who rejected her.

“Oh, come on!” Karlach took her arm back to throw her hands in the air. “He says looking at you is like gazing on the beauty of nature and then expects you to not kiss him?!”

“Maybe that’s just how he talks.” Tav took a shaky breath. “Or I’ve just completely lost my touch.”

“Doesn’t talk to me that way. And I mean the way he looks at you? It’s like you’re the last piece of cake on the table and he hasn’t eaten in a decade.”

“Regardless, I’ve made my feelings known on multiple occasions. And he’s done the same.” Tav shrugged, hoping to hide how much it hurt her to admit.

“Maybe he’s just shy. Give it a couple of days, you never know–”

Tav cut her off. “It’s okay, Karlach, really. Maybe it’s like you said before, maybe he just wants a friend.”

“Hmph.” Karlach glared over her shoulder in the direction of their camp but otherwise let the matter drop. The angry twitches in her tail caught Tav in the leg every few steps.

Their somber march to Moonrise was a difficult one for Tav. Bodies of fallen Dark Justiciars and Harpers littered the ground, piles of bone and rusted weapons adorned every corner. Every now and then, one of them would come back to life as a shadow cursed corpse, adding another layer of danger to their stroll.

So many caught in Shar’s dark clutches, so many lives wasted, and for what? What did she gain by choking the light and life out of this entire land? And what in the hells did Ketheric Thorm have to do with the Absolute? Did this mean that Shar was also involved with the cult?

Her mind raced and reeled with question after question. For each one answered, two more took its place, but as they approached the bridge to take them through Reithwin, a faded letter displayed on an old spear caught her eyes.

A formal letter from the leader of the council of High Harpers offering a surrender. They had feared that the fighting would escalate to a full-scale war, decimating the land and inhabitants of Reithwin. Beneath the plea, two words were scribbled on the paper in a harsh hand.

SURRENDER DECLINED.

Tears stung her eyes again. Above all, the Harpers and the Emerald Enclave wanted to preserve life, to be a light in darkness, to prevent needless death in their own battles no matter how deeply they believed in the cause for which they fought. This short and hasty reply proved just how little Shar and her followers thought of those caught in that eternal war between light and dark.

This denial of surrender was the reason her squad had been called from Amn to join the Harpers at Moonrise.

“They…they surrendered?” Shadowheart stood behind her, reading over her shoulder.

“Yes,” Tav’s voice was cold, “and he slaughtered them anyway.” Shadowheart’s indifferent exterior wavered for just a moment before she hissed in pain and gripped the hand that carried her Shar-bound wound.

“Come on, best not to linger.” Tav swallowed the grief climbing its way up her throat.

As soon as they crossed the threshold of the tollhouse, she could feel the shadows become heavier, even with the pixie blessing keeping them at bay. The air took on more of a chill as dread clawed at her chest like a caged displacer beast. Her steps were slow and heavy the closer they drew to the entrance to Moonrise Towers. The lead that seemed to suddenly line her boots made it all the more difficult to slog forward through the darkness. Before she knew it, Tav found herself staring down the stone bridge to Moonrise.

Small bubbles of light hovered in the air, moonlanterns hung high above the bridge to protect the cultists from the shadows.

“Well, this certainly looks like the perfect place to hide a murderous cult run by mind flayers.” Gale stood next to her, gripping his staff with both hands.

“Moonrise is also our best chance at a cure for these tadpoles now that my kin hunt us.” Lae’zel reminded her.

“We’ll have to play along for now. We need to find out who’s leading this cult and see if we can find the tiefling prisoners.” Tav fought the urge to run back to the safety of Last Light.

She took a deep breath to steel herself before venturing into the cursed tower.

***

Halsin sat cross-legged in front of the fire, lost in meditation, hoping to hear Silvanus’s guiding voice. The pixie charm kept the worst of the shadow curse at bay, but the fire helped to keep him warm.

Just a short distance away, he could see the large dome of moonlight protecting Last Light Inn. They had opted to set up a camp just outside of the safe haven, not wanting to be a further burden to the already struggling inhabitants.

Behind him, he could hear Arabella bombarding Withers with constant questions. Their animal companions had curled up together by the fire, the unsettling darkness smothering their usual playful attitudes. Every now and then, Lunari would pop her head up to check the perimeter for Tav’s return before returning her head to the top of her paws.

Tav…

He shook his head to push her from his mind for now. His shame for his behavior this morning threatened to distract him from his responsibilities, from his promise.

“Oak Father, please, hear me.” His voice was a reverent whisper. “I need your guidance. Show me the way forward.”

Among the darkness and chill of the shadows, a comforting feeling wrapped around Halsin like a soft, favored blanket.

You are already on the right path, my child. You know the way.

Halsin’s breath caught. He didn’t dare draw in another, worried that he had imagined the voice.

“Oak Father, is that you? Do my ears deceive me?”

You listen well, as you always have. Why do I feel your sorrow?

“I feel lost…distracted.”

And this brings you pain?

“Yes. I should have the wisdom to resist such disruptions and yet I find myself torn. Forgive me, I have let my mind stray from this sacred duty.”

There is nothing to forgive.

“But I…I have fallen from my path. The one I set out on so many years ago.”

You have not fallen from your path, you have forged a new one. My child, my Chosen. You know the way.

My Chosen. The words still brought tears to Halsin’s eyes. Yet another title he felt unworthy of receiving.

“What would you ask of me?”

I ask nothing more than you have already given.

“I don’t understand…”

I have given you all that you need. Find your balance. You know the way.

The warm embrace he felt under Silvanus’s voice faded away, leaving him once again cold in the shadows. Every god in the Pantheon was known to speak in riddles and rhymes, preferring their loyal followers to seek the meaning in their words themselves. The Oak Father was no different.

Find your balance. You know the way.

Did he though? Did he truly know the correct path to take? He had studied for years, given himself entirely to Silvanus and his teachings. He knew the ritual by heart, he said it each and every night. But he didn’t know where to find Thaniel yet. Refusing to let his frustrations get the better of him, Halsin took a deep breath and tried to meditate once more. He tried to draw on what little life surrounded him, desperate to find any trace of his old friend.

He wanted nothing more than to hear Thaniel’s voice, nothing more than to see the sun shining on these lands again.

So why was it when he closed his eyes, he only saw her face?

***

Tav took slow, careful steps as they approached the towers. The light of the moonlanterns here felt cold and detached compared to the warmth of the moon shield at Last Light. Wyll stopped suddenly in the middle of the bridge.

“Ah hells…” He spun in place, looking in all directions around them. “She’s coming.”

Not a moment later, Mizora popped into view. Wyll’s patron stood sneering at them, blocking their path into Moonrise.

“Hey? You guys smell that?” Karlach made a show of sticking her nose in the air and sniffing dramatically. “Smells like one nasty little shit.”

“Delicate as ever, Karlach.” Mizora’s flippant smile set Tav’s teeth on edge. “Now do be quiet so I can have a word with my pet.”

“What do you want, Mizora?” Wyll gave an exasperated sigh as he rolled his eyes.

“Drop the attitude pup and perk up your ears. I have a new mission for you.”

Wyll clenched his jaw but did as he was told. Karlach let out a soft growl behind her.

“The cult has gone and nabbed one of Zariel’s assets, a devil. A powerful one too. You need to break into their fortress and get them out.” Mizora flicked her wrist toward herself, pulling an invisible leash that yanked Wyll forward a few steps. The movement earned her a growl from Karlach.

“Powerful devil? How powerful could they be if they managed to get captured by the cult?” Tav jeered back at her, but Mizora just kept smiling.

“Wyll, pet, should we remind your friend of the terms of your pact? What happens should you refuse to obey or neglect your duty?”

Tav glared back at her. The first night she emerged into their camp from the hells below, she made it clear what would happen the next time he disobeyed. So Wyll could either help free this asset or become a blob of lifeless flesh clawing at the front lines of the Blood War.

However, amidst her arrogant jabs and recitals of the pact, a trace of desperation shone through her words. She could not afford for Wyll to fail, her fate was likely tied to his success. Whether that was due to Zariel or the cult, she couldn’t say. But Tav saw an opportunity.

“We’ll help Wyll rescue this asset, Mizora. On one condition.” Tav crossed her arms as she stared down the cambion before her.

“Oh? I’d love to hear what you plan on using to negotiate.” Mizora’s smug aura wavered.

Panic rose in her mind as her tadpole squirmed in recognition of Wyll’s.

“What are you doing?” His voice rang inside of her head.

“Trust me. I won’t let you get dragged down to Avernus.” He seemed satisfied with her answer as her tadpole stopped wiggling again.

“You break Wyll’s pact, and we’ll rescue this devil.” Tav kept her expression neutral, not wanting to give anything away.

“Hm…and why would I let my favorite pup off of his leash so readily?” She stuck her lip out in an exaggerated pout.

“We could always let this devil be infected. I’m sure they’d make a formidable thrall.” Tav hoped the anxious beating of her heart couldn’t be heard.

Mizora scoffed but took a second to consider the proposition as she looked between the group of ragged adventurers.

“Fine, I’ll play your game.” Tav released her held breath. “But I amend the pact once the job is done, not a moment before.”

Mizora cleared her throat and recited a new line of the pact, stating that Wyll would be released from his contract once they rescued this asset.

“There. Now…run along and fetch, pup. And do watch the shadows, they’ve been especially hungry.” With that, she whisked herself away.

I can’t believe that worked.

Tav stood in the chilly glow of the moonlantern lined bridge with her companions. Wyll stared at the spot where Mizora had stood.

“You okay, soldier?” Karlach nudged his shoulder.

“Yes, I think so.” His brow furrowed in thought before turning toward Tav. “Thank you…for sticking your neck out for me.”

“You’re welcome. Do you think she’ll keep her word?”

“Well, she did amend the pact. She’s as bound by it as I am. Yet even now, I can feel her scheming and plotting.”

“Listen Wyll, you know your happiness is my happiness.” Karlach placed a hand on his shoulder, her words caused Tav’s head to whip around to her. “But you also know as well as I do that when dealing with devils you always draw the short straw.”

“Oh, come on, Karlach, where’s that optimistic attitude that’s kept us company through this perilous expedition of ours?” Gale stepped up beside her. “One more mission and Wyll can have his freedom. As far as the breaking of warlock pacts go, I must say this is presumptively the most affable deal he’ll receive.”

“That’s what worries me.” Karlach looked at the ground. “It’s too easy.”

“Perhaps.” Wyll put a hand over hers resting on his shoulder. “But this could be my only chance. Regardless of her cunning, Mizora was obviously desperate, more so than I’ve ever seen her. That makes her prone to making mistakes, for now I shall hold out hope that this was a lapse in judgement on her part.”

Karlach seemed satisfied enough with his answer and let her hand drop, but Tav noticed how Wyll let his fingers brush over hers afterwards.

“Yes, very heartwarming, my friends. Now, I do believe we have a cult of murderous illithid to either topple or assume control over, so…” Astarion twirled a dagger in one of his hands as he leaned lazily against the stone walls of the bridge.

“Onward, then.”

For once, Tav was the one who could give Karlach a teasing grin as they continued their stroll towards Moonrise. It was hard to tell in the dark with her already dark red skin, but she could have sworn she saw her cheeks flush just a bit. Her playful nudges on Karlach’s arm were returned with a hip check that came close to knocking her to the ground.

Their lighthearted teases were interrupted when they reached the large iron doors that comprised the entrance to Moonrise. Absolute cultists patrolled all around the perimeter of the building. Ghouls stood poised and ready to attack any unwanted guests near the entrance.

“There is no doubt about it. The power I feel here is unlike anything we’ve encountered thus far.” The dream visitor glided into their minds. “This is where we will find the heart of the Absolute.”

“Stop there!” One of the cultists called out as they approached. He winced as their parasite wriggled in recognition of Tav’s

“Play along, get us as close as you can.”

“Ah, always a pleasure to meet another True Soul. What news from the field?” The guard perked back up after their tadpoles calmed.

“Uh, nothing much, rather quiet out here besides the shadows.”

“I’ll say. Even with these lanterns those ghastly screeches give me shivers.” He gave a light chuckle. “Say I don’t recognize you, are you a new recruit?”

Tav looked back to her traveling party, unease prevalent in all their expressions.

“Yep! We were escorted here by the drider, but he fell to the shadows. We had to run the rest of the way here without a moonlantern,” she lied.

“Well at least that explains why he hasn’t checked in. Go on inside, Disciple Z’rell and General Thorm will want to speak with you. You’ll find them in the audience chamber.” He nodded toward the entryway.

General Thorm.

“Play along, Tav. Do not let your personal grievances stop you from completing your mission.” Her dream visitor pleaded with her.

She pushed away the anguish trying to seize her chest.

“Very well, erm, in Her name?” Tav tried to play along as a devout follower, giving a small, two-fingered salute.

“Praise the Absolute!” The True Soul responded with enthusiasm, tapping the butt of his spear against the ground.

They were waved through the large double doors. Astarion came up and slapped her on the arm.

“In Her name?” He said back in a mocking voice.

“I’m sorry! I don’t know how to blend into a murderous cult, I figured random praise for this Absolute would do the trick.”

“I thought it was good!” Karlach called out behind her.

Tav stopped at the bottom of the stairs, taking in the spacious room around her. She had never seen the inside of the towers, only the outer walls from the field of battle. The grand entry was not unlike the one in her family’s estate. Granted, the décor left something to be desired, but one hundred years spent decaying amidst this shadow curse would do that to any building.

“We should take a look around before we seek out Z’rell and Ketheric. Find out exactly what we’re up against here.” Tav dropped her voice to a whisper to deter any eavesdropping. She wasn’t quite sure she could face Ketheric Thorm just yet.

Pulses of psionic energy seemed to thrum all around them with the alarming number of True Souls. Her thundering heartbeat pounded to the same rhythm as they began to explore.

Tav took note of the room’s layout, the beams overhead, the traders conversing in one corner of the room. Another scrying eye floated around the room, its eerie humming sending nervous shivers down her spine.

Gods I hope those aren’t all connected.

She pushed a door to her left open, revealing a dining hall and kitchen of sorts. A woman stood with a couple of gnolls around the fire. Was she…training them? They paid Tav and the others no mind as they strolled through the room.

A strange pillar of pink, sinewy webs seemed to be making its way up through the floors through a small staircase. Tav reached out to touch them but recoiled at their cold, plump texture.

What in the hells…

“I hear more voices in there.” Shadowheart started walking toward another door in the back of the room.

Tav happily followed, not wanting to think about what made those fleshy strands. In the next room, she found a drow woman huddled over a table that was littered with potion bottles and papers. The Elvish scrawl that covered the sheets was familiar in its appearance, but she still couldn’t quite understand the words as they were written.

Likely in a drow dialect.

The woman turned her head to the side and caught Tav peering over her shoulder.

“Another True Soul?” she remarked with an unsettling smile. “It is a pleasure to stand before you…” she trailed off to look behind her at Astarion, “and your pale companion.”

Tav and Astarion shared a quick glance.

“I’m Araj Oblodra, trader in blood and practitioner of the sanguineous arts. I’d love to offer my services, if you’re willing.” Araj’s voice was smooth and soft, but caused chilling bumps to rise up on Tav’s skin.

“What exactly does a trader in blood have to offer me? I’m afraid I’m rather full of the stuff.” she asked, unable to hide the curiosity creeping into her voice.

The drow gave a light laugh in response. “And I would be more than willing to alleviate some of that weight from your system. Put more plainly, I’d like a sample of your blood. Of a True Soul’s blood, specifically.”

“And what do I get out of this other than a nice cut on the finger?”

“With one drop of your blood, I can brew a rather potent potion for you while allowing myself to keep the rest for my research.”

Tav thought for a moment. What was one small vial of blood compared to a useful potion?

“Alright, I’m interested.”

“Very kind of you, True Soul. Just one little prick and it’ll all be over.”

Araj had Tav remove her glove so she could use a small pin to prick her finger. Her blood fell in heavy crimson drops into the small vial the drow held between her fingertips. Once she was satisfied with the amount collected, she turned to start tinkering with her ingredients to make the promised potion.

“Aw, what a waste of blood, Tav.” Astarion stuck his lip out in a fake pout as she pressed a small cloth to her finger to stop the bleeding.

“Well here, there’s still a bit left on my finger if you want it.” She shot a sweet smile back at him as she stuck her bloodied middle finger in the air at him.

“Ew, not off that dirty hand. Gods only know where it’s been.” He stuck his tongue out at her in disgust.

“Here we are.” Araj offered a small vial to Tav. “All of your very best traits in a bottle. Use it well.”

She stashed the vial in her pack with a polite nod. As they turned to walk away, the drow called out to them again.

“Perhaps there’s one more thing we could discuss.” Her eyes once again landed on Astarion. “Your companion. He’s a vampire? Or at least one of their spawn?”

Everyone exchanged uneasy looks as their hands landed on their respective weapons.

“Don’t worry, we’re all friends under the Absolute. I won’t bite.” Astarion gave her a wink to distract her from the hand moving to unsheathe a dagger.

"Oh, I'd prefer if you did."

"What?!" they all exclaimed at the same time.

“I assume he belongs to you?” Araj turned back to Tav.

“Excuse me?” She asked, her temper starting to rise.

“If not you, which of your group currently owns him?”

Her blood started to boil underneath her skin once more.

“No one owns him, he’s a person, not a pet or collectible.” Tav snipped back at her.

“How adorable that you both seem to believe that.” She ignored Tav’s outburst and turned to Astarion. “Do you have a name, spawn?”

The way she spat the word spawn caused Tav’s hands to twitch toward the sword at her belt once more. Seeing the anger on Astarion’s face nearly caused her to lunge at the drow.

“Astarion…but hold on–”

“Good. I’ve always dreamed of being bitten by a vampire since I was a young girl, Astarion. If you’d do me the honors, I’ll compensate you with a potion of legendary power that will forever increase the strength of the one who drinks it. I wasn’t going to offer it for sale, but it’s yours if you bite me.”

Tav started to grind her teeth as she watched Astarion’s reaction carefully. He gave an uncomfortable chuckle before responding.

“I will have to…decline.” He answered with a small wave of his hand.

“Excuse me?” Araj scoffed. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance and you’re squandering it.”

“I gave you my answer.” Astarion tried to keep his voice firm, but Tav caught the slightest waver in it as he scowled at the drow.

“Can’t you talk some sense into your obstinate charge?” Araj whipped around to snap at Tav.

In response she walked up between them to tower over the much shorter woman. She made a show of peeking her sword’s blade from its scabbard as she glared down at her.

“He. Said. No.” Tav lowered her voice to a hissing whisper. “There’s nothing more to discuss.”

Satisfied with the intimidated look on the drow’s face, she spun on her heels to storm from the room. The others followed close behind.

“Tav?” Astarion’s voice was small beside her. She paused her angry strides to turn and face him. “I…” His eyes had the smallest cluster of tears forming in the corners as he stumbled over his words.

“You don’t have to say anything,” she assured him with a smile. “It’s like I told you, you’ll always get the help you need from me.”

He smiled back at her, a smile that seemed more genuine than the ones she was used to seeing.

“Besides, I’m sure you’re not missing out on much by denying her. Anyone who acts like that must taste awful, right?” She tried to tease him to ease the tension.

“Actually, you’d be surprised, darling.” He let out his typical giggle as he looped an arm around hers. “Some of the most hateful foes I’ve bitten in our short time together tasted the best. Or perhaps I was just hungry.”

They all let out a small chorus of laughs as they walked back into the large entry chamber. Her eyes darted to the second set of iron doors that likely led to the audience chamber where Ketheric Thorm would be waiting for them.

“Where to next?” Karlach appeared at her other side, resting one arm on her shoulder.

Tav’s gaze remained fixed on the doors. Fear had a clawed grip in every muscle of her body.

“Tav?” Astarion nudged the arm still wrapped around his.

“I…” Her mouth had gone dry. She thought she could do this. She thought she could face the man responsible for so much of her torment, so much of her grief. Yet standing here in Moonrise, her strength faltered, and a few tears escaped to run down her cheeks.

“You’re not alone, Tav,” Karlach whispered. “We’ll be right here with you every step of the way.”

Slowly, the others walked up to gather around her as well. Even Shadowheart offered her a weak smile. She nodded back, her tears shifting to those of gratitude as her companions echoed Karlach’s assurance.

Tav took one more deep breath to help dry her eyes. “I think it’s time to meet General Ketheric Thorm.”

[squidgang]

Hello! 3, 16, and 28 please and thank you! ❤️

TYSM for the ask!! I had BUCKETS of fun writing these out <333

3. How's shit with their LI going? Did they have one? Is it going well even after the post-epilogue party? What's the vibe here? Did they maybe even find a new partner?

It’s a toss up some days (I see Minthara and Namulith butting heads on plenty of issues), but mostly good and stable.  Minthara reluctantly begins to adapt to surface city life in Baldur’s Gate, and busies herself with building connections with mercenary groups to raise a small army in as short of a time as possible, as she and Namulith plan to storm Menzoberranzan and lay siege to her mother’s holdings and establish themselves there as a new house. (As far as laying waste to the rest of the Baenre family…it’s an eventual goal but I couldn’t say if that’ll wind up successful lol)  For now, she lives with Namulith in his family’s apothecary, not sure how much of a help she is running the business hahaha.  Ok I’m kinda going off script here but I personally headcanon the epilogue party happens on Highharvestide of the same year simply because of fall vibes and my refusal to believe all of the companions waited 6 whole months before they had another crossover episode. (my personal timeline is pretty off from canon)  I’d say the vibe between them is for the most part calm, with the occasional patch of stress, and moments of wonder and excitement (there was some fanart I saw a while back of Minthara seeing snow for the first time and I was like “yep, I’m incorporating that into my belief system”).

16. Also what's the greatest joy now that they're "free" (depends on interpretation ig)?

Namulith definitely celebrates his return to monotony, and being able to sleep in his own place (no more outdoor sleepovers!), and overall being familiar with his surroundings.  I headcanon that once he remembers his past life, he really takes comfort in his knowledge of the city (where certain people live, where he can buy specific things, etc).

Being free from the Urge, he enjoys fewer graphic intrusive thoughts, more self-trust, and being able to really savor and enjoy experiences without the fear of losing control and killing/hurting other people.

28. Wild card / Dealers choice.

OH BOYYY!!! Ok so all of these disorganized ideas/lore bits are actually going somewhere eventually, and I’ll take this time to briefly yap about my fanfic in the works: “Riches and Wonders”. Title is indeed stolen from that The Mountain Goats song bc it’s totally relevant here.  Because the thought of actually writing a cohesive, serious plot scares me, I’ve decided to instead make it more of an episodic collection of vignettes which span from the summer until spring of the following year.  (Realized recently I am just describing a soap opera so I’ll call it what it is- yeah I’m up in google docs plotting out a soap opera LMAO)  R&W takes place post-BG3, and is set in a haunted house against a backdrop of angst, regret, and kinship, and will include major events such as: Namulith going on trial for his family’s murder (on the fence about this one), a really weird and awkward holiday family dinner, a trip to Waterdeep to visit Gale, and Namulith and Minthara becoming parents! I will not comment on any release date/whether this will actually be released- this is getting written for pleasure one way or another!