#he doesn't even understand he was wrong. he sounds like hes still 14 when he talks.

[honeyed-disgraceful]

Maybe I stopped appreciating sitting by his side for a smoke

It used to be like a once in a blue moon occurrence to me. Not that it isn't still. I just don't care for it anymore.

I'm my defense it was a doing of his own hand

[mosaickiwi]

Little "Love" Notes

Angel should really tell someone if they think somebody’s breaking in but instead they do… this? For some reason.

very good idea

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

Quiet and quick as could be, [REDACTED] slowly opened your window by the fire escape. He climbed in carefully, a little astonished that you still weren’t bothering to lock it after all these months. Their boots hardly made a sound as he took practiced steps over the hardwood floor of your apartment and headed straight to the kitchen. He didn’t need to see to know which floorboards would creak or groan underfoot.

Just as they expected, the usual sight that had him even more excited to go on his now almost nightly break-ins was there to greet him. A handful of hastily scrawled, bright pink sticky notes were slapped across various surfaces.

At some point or another you'd gotten sick of things going missing. Sure, most of them turned up after a while—and always right where you thought you'd left them—but even still it annoyed you. So you started leaving silly messages for your supposed burglar. He chose to read them as love notes.

“Don't take anything in here you BITCH I'll be so mad!!” screamed one from its place on a kitchen cabinet. Your writing there was a little illegible from how fast you surely wrote it, but he found it endearing.

Another, on the side of some faded plastic-ware read, “I made these cookies for a friend but a lot of them came out wrong. You may have the burnt ones.”

“Give that ugly red shirt back it doesn't belong to me.” That was the last one he could find in the room for now, left on top of the counter next to the notepad and pen you always used.

As much as he wished to, the hacker usually didn’t respond for fear of confirming your needless worries. They'd never want to harm you like a real burglar. But he always followed the instructions when he could. And he could do some of those tonight.

Since you'd so nicely asked, he left the bottom cabinet alone. They already knew what you kept in there anyway. He wouldn’t tell a soul.

He took a few burnt cookies out of the container left on the counter—not enough that you'd notice. Some to eat once he left, and one to keep. It was another thing you offered up to him, after all. 

But the sorry excuse of a shirt that your (worst) childhood friend had left behind was long gone. [REDACTED] had already given it a much needed vacation to the bottom of Lake Bluemoss, along with some other items that Leon had dared to leave among your belongings.

With the notes in the kitchen mostly taken care of, he set off towards your laundry closet. Only to find the small sliding door in the hallway closed shut with a note of its own smack dab in the middle. 

“Please don't take my comfy clothes anymore :c I know you always give them back but it'll be getting cold soon!! You don’t want me freezing in the middle of the night, do you? Won't you forgive me? Pretty please? ♥ ♥”

Mind going a mile a minute, [REDACTED] had to read your beautiful handwriting again and again as if decoding a different language. Those tiny, black inked hearts at the end of the note were all he could understand in the moment. Your sweetly written, pleading love letter finally sunk in once he managed to shake away the haze you’d unknowingly swept him into.

This one was a risk that he was willing to take. Of course they wanted you to be comfortable. He gently peeled the note off so it wouldn’t tear, and folded it away to tuck into his jeans.

Then, the dark haired man began to tug his favorite hoodie up and over his shoulders.

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

You lazily pulled the folding door open in search of a blanket. It was just a little bit colder for some reason when you woke up this morning, so you needed something to keep you cozy while you waited for Violet to come over later that afternoon. You reached up to the middle shelf where you normally kept extra blankets, but something just below it caught your eye.

A huge, black hoodie sat folded on top of the pile of clean towels you forgot to take care of days ago.

You didn't recognize it, but it had to belong to one of your friends, right? They all formed a habit of leaving stuff with you once you moved back to town. Jae still hadn’t picked up the roller skates he got for Maple—they were only used the one time.

Ignoring the blanket you meant to grab, you picked up the hoodie and slipped it on. The giant thing practically swallowed you, sleeves enveloping your hands and the hem falling well past your hips. The garish horror design that decorated its front didn't seem to be anything your friends were into, either.

But it was warmer than you thought possible. Plus, it smelled nice, like cherries and a little familiar comfort of something you couldn't place. Whoever it belonged to surely wouldn't mind if you kept it for a while.

You didn't bother to spare it another thought and hurried off to check the kitchen. Hopefully the cookies you'd painstakingly baked yesterday were still there.

[sizzlingchaosprince]

The Toy's favorite Child

Notes: This is the first time I'm doing such thing so I'm really nervous XD I didn't know what to put into the background of the drawing so I didn't put any. Maybe I'll edit it soon. Do forgive me for my shading, I'm still learning(trying to)

Synopsis: After starting to live in PlayCare, one creature you became friends with grew a liking to you...

Warning: PLATONIC, headcanon + little story, reader is 12-14 years old, reader is a chill teenager

It's been a year since you got into the PlayCare, passing through the security with laid-back face and leaving the staff confused. They kept you because you seemed useful for them...

You were quite chilly and relaxed, reserved and smart. Also, because of your personality you were almost the same with Cat Nap from cartoons. Maybe that's why you became quick friends with Smiling Critters. With most of them, at least...

The big purple cat was almost never appearing like others from his party. And this interested you.

After a week or so you finally met him face-to-face. You were as calm as always, but your heart was pounding from excitement. You said 'hi' for politeness and introduced yourself, waiting for him to do the same.

Guess what? His face didn't even shift. He continued staring at you with his dead eyes.

After understanding that you won't get an answer from him, you tried to talk about something else.

But he disappeared in blink of an eye.

You were quite disappointed, but you still had the same urge to get to know the living toy better. You knew it'll be a long while...

It was worth 3 months to make him sit and listen to your rambling for 10 minutes. It was worth more months to make him spend at least an hour with you. It took even longer for him to let you stay near him and sleep, leaning onto the puppet. But it was worth the pleasure you get from his warmth and company.

Even though you never heard him talk, it's enough for you to be near him. It's good to talk about any nonsense which randomly comes to your mind and have a listener who won't judge you. It's also good to take a great nap in his fur or stay in complete silence, thinking of your own thing.

The staff, of course, sooner found out the relationship between you and the purple cat puppet.

They tried to use you to their own benefits and new information, but instead you composed some lies which sounded like truth to tell them(Cat Nap helped you a little sometimes, nodding or shaking his head if the lie sounds truthful or not).

When the scientists were starting thinking about taking you for the test next, Cat Nap started to monitor you to make sure you won't end up in the Game Station.

It definitely wasn't him who knocked out the staff members right behind your back. It definitely wasn't him who let out some scratching noises in Home-Sweet-Home. Also, of course, it definitely wasn't his sharp gaze you felt on your gut 24/7.

You liked to use the hair brush on the purple furball. It doesn't move away so you can say that he's at least neutral to your activity(we don't talk about his really quiet purring).

[Now. The small story]

It was a normal day like any other one. More specifically, night. However, this week was quiet strange: the staff members of Playtime Co. except the workers from the PlayCare appeared more often in front of you. When they started talking about 'test', they randomly passed out because of the red smoke. You knew it was one of the Smiling Critters you were hanging out with for a while, but you didn't know why was he doing it.

You were currently sitting with your back leaning against the living cat plush, brushing your companion's tail you gently patted with your free second hand. The only thing that bothered you in that peaceful time was the fact that the purple cat wasn't purring at all. It was staring at you with its dark eyes. Sooner after, you finally asked him about this:

— Is something wrong, Cat Nap?

It didn't answer. Instead, the living toy just stared at you with expressionless eyes, not moving an inch. You weren't intimidated by the stare at all, so you just continued brushing the long tail. You weren't hoping for an answer anyway, but still a small, almost impossible dream was remaining in your heart.

The silence was broken by the raspy, low voice coming out from Cat Nap's voice box.

— The Prototype... Will Save Us.

You flinched.

Wow...

This is the first time he ever said something to you. It was surely a progress for your friendship.

You stared at him with wide eyes for a moment before shifting your attention back to the tail. You shrugged with your shoulders, your face had a relaxed smile.

— I don't know who the Prototype is, but if they helped you somehow, I think they're my saviour too. You're like a home to me.. I can't even imagine what would it be like living without you here!

You chuckled, patting the fluffy tail while Cat Nap looked at you with the same stare. However, something in his eyes changed... Maybe his gaze gained a little more... softness?

He stared at you until you fell asleep on him again. A few minutes of him sinking into his thoughts have passed, the toy putted his head on his paws, wrapping his tail around you like a blanket and soon enough closing his eyes. You would call it the same night-time scenario with Cat Nap in the next morning, because you didn't know that he was comfortably purring, nuzzling himself into your warmth last night...

Notes: OH MY GOD I DID IT :D I'll maybe do part 2, but without promises

Anyways, thank you for wasting your time reading my first-ever-made English fanfic. Do write me some comments about my errors if you find any, I will appreciate it since it'll improve my writing skills.

Have a nice day/evening/night!😘

[rifari2037]

Here we go again!! Okay, let me breath first!! 😮‍💨😮‍💨

Zuko was 16 years old, Katara was 14 years old. So, their age gap was only 2 years!

2 YEARS!!!

It wasn't like Zuko was a grown man, while Katara was a little girl.

They were both teenagers!!!

A teenage girl having a crush on a teenage boy with 2 years age gap and vice versa was normal.

Aang was 12 years old boy, had a crush on 14 years old Katara. What was their age gap? 2 YEARS!! So, when Katara was 16 years old, Aang was still 14 years old.

Jet was 16 years old, had a relationship with 14 years old Katara, yet no one talked about their age gap! What was their age gap again? 2 YEARS!!

It's not wrong but it doesn't feel right!

Even Anon said it's not wrong! But it doesn't feel right, because Anon just making things up to bashing Zutara!! Who cares if the arguments don't make any sense?

Katara literally bully Zuko, that's why we should ship Zukka??

That's called relationship development, Honey!

To show that two characters are well written, their interactions must have a reason and make sense. More importantly, there should be no holes/jumps (how to say that? I don't know the right word) in their development so it doesn't feel rushed or forced.

Anon said Zutara was the worst ship, but actually Zuko and Katara were well written because they act as they should!

Zuko and Katara were enemies and they act like enemies.

Katara and Zuko still enemies when they met in Crystal Catacomb, but then they tried to understand each other. They weren't friends yet when Zuko betrayed her.

Katara got mad and bullied him!

That's make sense!! I mean, what should Katara do after someone betrayed her? Hug him???

Actually, these scenes showed that Katara could vent her anger too, she could demand someone to understand her feeling, and not always her who understand others like she always did.

And what Zuko did? Yes, he made it up to her!! He understand what she needed and accompany her to facing her trauma without told her what she should or shouldn't do (except told her to get some rest).

Then Katara, by her own choice forgive him and they become partners/friends who can complement each other.

They even saved each other lives!!

What made them the worst ship after their relationship development written with this coherent storyline? No rushed, no forced. They were enemies to friends (and to lovers 😂) after all, of course they had conflicts like a great war.

And it was way way way better than, lets say...

Two characters fought in one episode, then they separated in a few episodes later, and they kissed in the end of the story without resolving their problem, even without any conversation at all.

Or like one character left their lover in jail, forgot about her for a few episodes, didn't even remember to release her out of the prison, and then they met again like nothing happened and kiss.

Those are examples of rushed and forced storylines.

Wait, those storylines sound familiar?? 🤔🤔

And what make Zukka better than Zutara, though? Why should I ship them?? Zukka were just crack ship and didn't even have relationship development!!

Or maybe because of this??

But, really? Because Zutara had more than that!

Or this??

Well, first of all, Sokka was going on a date with Suki. And second of all, don't forget their conversation after that!!

Sokka : So what's on your mind? Zuko : Your sister. She hates me! And I don't know why, but I do care what she thinks of me.

Or, maybe because they were so awkward toward each other that make them cute?

But it seems like these two teenagers were more awkward when they couldn't get rid of boyfriend-girlfriend allegations. Oh, wait, do I see a blush on their cheeks? I wonder why.

Well, what else?? Because I can't think of another scene in the show that makes Zukka a better ship than Zutara.

[canthavetoomuchchaos]

Not a bad kid

ANGST ANGST ANGST

Set in teenage years.

Darlin + David

I strongly follow the "Darlin and David are siblings" thingy. This is set when both are around 14 ish.

Tw/Cw: mentions of abuse, fear, injuries, brief mentions of dying,

David and Gabe are sleeping, that is until they both hear frantic knocking at the front door.

David is sound asleep, snoozing away under his blanket, his dad in the next room over doing the same. Both are awoken by fast, frantic, and harsh knocking on their front door. David sits up blearily and walks to his door, waiting for his dad to pass him so he can follow.

"David, don't come down until I know who it is alright?" David nods and waits. Gabe opens the door and immediately a person is falling into him. He grips their shoulders, eyes wide as they are frantically begging for his help. Gabe is quick to shut the door.

"David- come down here, get the first aid kit under the kitchen sink, quickly." He's calm, carefully carrying his young pack member to their living room, setting them gently on the couch, ignoring the thought that their blood and the mud is ruining it. They're still crying, clinging to his shoulders, but they're frantically muttering now. The same thing, over and over and over again.

"I'm sorry- 's not my fault- didn't study hard enough- please, please I didn't mean to." Gabe is mortified. They're like this because of a bad grade on something? Or is he hearing wrong? David returns with the first aid kit.

"David, come sit by their head, keep them awake if they start to fall asleep. They may be concussed." David does as his father requested him and sits by their head. Gabe, very gently, starts to peel away their drenched shirt, pulling it up to get a view of their abdomen. Cuts, bruises and scratches, along with long healed scars are all over their skin. He presses into the biggest wound on their side, steadily oozing blood. He barely hears David gag. As he presses against them they let aout a very sharp yelp, he can hear their wolf slightly come through it. He looks up about to apologize, but they look horrified that they even made the sound in the first place.

"'m sorry- I didn't mean to- I was just- please don't hurt me. I didn't mean to growl-" David takes the liberty of trying to soothe them, doing what his dad does to him when he's sick, running his hands along their scalp. They freeze but withing seconds they are leaning into his gentle hand. Gabe continues his work on their wounds.

About fifteen minutes later Gabe is almost finished when David tenses from his quiet, almost one-sided conversation.

"...Dad...Dad you gotta hear this." His face is sombre for a fourteen year old. Gabe frowns and leans towards them.

"can you say that one more time? You mum ked a little there. " David asks them quietly. They frown and speak, this time slightly louder than before, attempting to help him understand.

"...got a c- on a math test. My parents were.....not pleased to say the least. That's why I'm like this. My....dad...chased me here. I don't know if he's still here or not, I don't think he'll try to come inside though.." they're breathy, and tired, but they enunciate perfectly.

Gabe freezes, his mind reeling, their dad did this to them? This child is beaten bruised and bloody because they got one bad grade? For the first time ever in the history of the Shaw wolf pack, there will now be a banishing of a wolf. This child will stay, they aren't safe at home. This actually helps explain a lot of their behaviors, constantly being quiet, keeping away from the other kids, flinching if Asher is just a little too loud. It all makes sense.

"Kid, I know you live with your dad, is there anyone else there besides you and him?" He's cautious, voice a low, gentle timbre. They shake their head.

"just my stepmom, she eggs him on, doesn't help. wont miss me if I die right here, she hates me anyway" Gabe fails to hide his frustrated expression, glad their stable and their eyes are closed as they relax and relish in the safety of his house.

"I'm glad you came to me, kid. You won't have to go back there ever again. I swear on it." His face is set in a tense but gentle expression. He turns to David.

"take them to the guest bedroom, give them some clothes, they may not fit but work with what you've got please. " David nods and gently helps the young wolf. They both pause as Gabe speaks

"your tough kid. Like a tank, stay that way." They nod and continue their way upstairs with David's assistance.

While they are upstairs Gabe grabs his phone and calls his beta (I can't remember Ashers dad's name if it was ever mentioned so here's a random one) Daniel. He picks up quickly and Gabe explains the situation, Daniel is quick to ask if Gabe needs his help. Gabe denies and asks him to please schedule a formal pack meeting for tomorrow afternoon, all wolves required to attend. There's a small yell from upstairs and he's quickly hanging up.

"David? Everything alright up there?" He's on the bottom steps, carefully making his way up. David pops his head out, a small grimacing smile on his face.

"they shifted, their injuries don't seem to have transferred as harshly but they jumped on the bed and I think it hurt a little. They're fine though. I think." Gabe nods and ruffles David's hair.

"let them rest, you can go to sleep, I'm gonna stay in here with them, the door will stay open all night if you need anything." David nods, a small confused frown on his lips.

"why're you staying with them? They'll be sleeping." Gabe smiles at his young son's confusion.

"because if they have a nightmare or wake up randomly, I want them to know where they are and that they're safe. Now go to sleep." David nods and gives his dad a brief hug, leaving to his own room down the hall.

The next morning Gabe is making breakfast as Tank as he has decided to call them, stumbles into the kitchen. They freeze as they realize he's also in the kitchen. Their eyes widen as their bleary, sleep ridden eyes don't comprehend that they're not home.

"I'm sorry, I woke up late, I'll have breakfast done really quick I promise. You don't have to-" they are cut off by Gabe gently laying a hand on their shoulder.

"hey, it's okay, you're not at home anymore kid. You don't have to do anything right now. Go sit on the couch, watch some TV." They hesitate but listen nonetheless. Gabe sighs and continues to make food, not surprised in the slightest that his son is sleeping in.

Later, as Gabe is getting ready for the pack meeting, both kids come up to him, curious. David is the first to speak up as Tank catches their breath, side sore from their wound.

"where are you going dad?" Gabe looks up from his combat boots, his face set. He's mentally preparing for the meeting.

"Got a meeting, scheduled it last night." The kids frown, confused. David, again, speaks up first.

"..can we go?" Gabe hesitates and looks to Tank.

"...will you be okay? You'll stay by me the whole time." They think for a moment, then nod. They haven't spoken since that morning.

"alright, get your shoes on. Let's go." Both kids scramble for their shoes, trying to get them on as fast as possible.

As they arrive to the Den, Gabe reminds both kids to stay close, this is a serious meeting and there wasn't supposed to be kids in the first place. As they walk in, Tank's parents both rush up, fake relief written across both of their faces. Gabe pushes Tank behind him, standing tall. A harsh glare pointed at them. He makes sure that his eyes say all that need to be said. 'you will not touch this child ever again.'

Gabe guides Tank and David to the front of the room. Reminding David to keep a gentle grip on Tank, as their still slightly hurt. He walks up to his podium, clearing his throat and waiting for silence. As the silence falls his eyes land on Tank's dad, specifically his hands, bruised knuckles, cuts here and there along his arms, and a very painful looking wolf bite on his bicep. Tank sure gave a fight before running. He took a breath and started to speak.

"I'm sorry for calling this meeting on such short notice, but it has come to my attention, that some pack members do not seem to grasp what parenting is meant to look like. [Tank's parents] I have the unfortunate duty of dishonorably banishing you from my pack and any Shaw land or property. I want to make this clear to everyone in this pack, I will tolerate a lot. I will never tolerate abuse of any kind." He turns to Tank and beckons them forward, they stand, walking slowly toward him, their face still badly bruised and the cuts now scabbed.

"this is Tank. Your child. You will no longer be allowed near them, nor will you have custody of them. I will take them as my own. You are never to return here, and if I hear that you have, you will be reported to the department. Thank you, goodbye." He dismissed their parents. The two hesitates, then Tank's father lunged, yelling harsh words and horrible names at them. Gabe shifts, a giant wolf now standing over the fallen child, as he snarls, his beta shifts as well, gently using his snout to push the children away, whilst keeping an eye on his Alpha in case he needs assistance. As the father backs down, backing away, he continues to yell things a child should never have directed at them.

Later when they get back to the Shaw house they are laying on the cold kitchen floor, the chill helping soothe the ache in their side. They have a content smile

Safe.

______

The end was a little rushed but oh well!! Hope you like it!!

[nalyra-dreaming]

I'm sorry but I can't believe sex in ep6 even topic of discussion.

1)Why would they go to such lengths and spend their time and resources on making floaty sex, if it didn't mean anything and didn't serve any purpose? What purpose did it serve? Well, the first and last time we also saw floaty sex in ep1 and it was clear representation of connection and pleasure that sends you flying to Saturn and back. So, logically, ep6 sex too supposed to show connection and pleasure.

2) Next point (i'm not sure about this one tbh): perhaps there's one more parallel to ep1 scene - Louis "didn't consider himself a homosexual at that time" and we see cut to him having enthusiastic sex. In ep6 he was telling Daniel about being numb and we have cut to him PARTICIPATING in sex and not just lying there like a corpse.

3) They literally included Lestat stopping and checking on Louis and not doing anything before Louis kissed him. He noticed that Louis wasn't mentally there and stopped. Clear indication that Lestat wanted CONSENSUAL sex, if he truly didn't care he would just proceed to fuck Louis because Louis wasn't stopping him.

4) Give Louis a little agency, would you?(general you, not you, Nalyra) As I said, we didn't have any indication that Louis wad pressured into it, that lestat didn't care about Louis' consent and pleasure. Just because you're depressed doesn't mean you're incapable of making decisions. Louis' kiss was him reassuring lestat that he's here with him. He KNEW that lestat needed reassurance to proceed. Lestat can't read Louis' mind, he can't be 100% if Louis wants it or not, so he has to rely on what Louis TELLS him with words and body language. Louis told lestat with his actions that he wants him to proceed. That's Louis' decision, like it or not

5) I know fandom likes to act like Claudia is mentally 14 forever, but for majority of story she's grown woman. I'm actually not sure if she truly thinks Louis wouldn't mind her being in his head while they're having sex or she's actively disregarding his boundaries (that he didn't establish) but there's fact: it's weird. Maybe she thinks she's helping Louis to "cope" with sex because she's projecting her trauma with Bruce on Loustat (which is understandable!) but for me Louis' sounds uncomfortable, and resigned, half-heartedly trying to deflect Claudia. "Anywhere sounds like nowhere" - for me it was clear that he doesn't really want to leave and doesn't want to have this conversation but he fails to say it outright and shut down Claudia. So he just makes up excuses not to leave, avoids telling NO, and blocks his mind when Lestat notices that something is wrong.

So, my point, that cut from Bruce to Lestat was Claudia's mind coming to comparison. She thinks Louis does it to appease lestat, she's probably tries to help telling Louis about her escape plan, she views Louis' reluctants as fear of Lestat and that's it, when probably main reason is Louis simply not wanting to leave.

I'm so sorry for long essay, hope you don't mind! Love your work and blog:)

:) Glad you like.

And yeah... I cannot believe we're at this point again/still either.

Exactly. This is a deliberate thing, a deliberate connection to the best sex Louis had. As said before, it carries meaning.

Well, I mean, there are a lot more instances of Louis saying something and the show showing us something else. Or vice versa. That is... exactly the point. Louis is telling the tale for an effect. And that effect was to lead to the justified "murder night". But the why will be part of season 2.

I know

Louis is (not just) depressed because of Lestat. He is deep in the rite of passage. He addresses that on the bench. And yeah.. for some reason Louis' never gets his agency in these discussions. Because he could have moved away. He could have left. But he did not want to. He stayed right there, in Rue Royale during those 6 years (for example). Where Lestat could find him. But I digress. Louis does have agency, indeed. And it is often dismissed for some reason -.-

Claudia's thinking is very black and white, pun not intended. It's stark contrast. She hates and loves with the full power of puberty, at all times, no matter her mental age. Her hatred for Lestat colors her perception of Louis' love for him - she just cannot imagine Louis loving him. Oh she understands it. But to her Lestat is like Bruce, the worst of the worst, and she cannot fathom that there are actually vampires out there... who are much, much worse. That is part of the horror, that she just cannot... imagine, because ultimately Lestat and Louis raised her as a child and then a loved family member - not as a coven member. She has no point of reference, unfortunately. And no, Louis neither wants to have that conversation (but he is too nice to shut it down), nor does he want to leave. And that just... flies right over her head.

Neither Claudia nor Louis actually fear Lestat, and definitely not even after the fight. The car scene made that quite clear, imho.

Oh, they are angry at him, and justified in that anger. But fear? Nope.

[ghoulishautism]

"Clockwork is a bitch, which is why Frostbite should be Danny's father figure"

Ok listen I see your criticisms and I understand them, they are valid and narratively sound. But Clockwork being a weird out of touch time god bitch is the best part about him, ok? Hear me out for a second.

Dont get me wrong I love Frostbite. Hes the wise leader who happily takes Danny under his wing and teaches him how to get his ice powers (which he has always had since season one COUGH)- and is overall a very nice dude, even after a brief misunderstanding with the icicle thorn thing.

But i feel like hes...too nice? I don't know how to explain it, but he feels too yes-man ish. That isn't to say Danny doesn't deserve some positive treatment after everything hes been through, but I also believe someone as young as Danny needs someone to be able to tell him when hes wrong or over his head.

Clockwork is the dude who honest to god doesn't want to deal with the stupid 14 year old who keeps screwing with the timeline. He is a literal time god and is, by definition, too old for this shit.

Clockwork does have elements of a wise mentor, so I don't know why people always act like hes some mean dude who hates Danny? I just think his handling of Danny's situation in both the episodes hes in (TUE and Masters of Time) paints a guy whos kinda out of touch, but also represents a kind of tough-love guidance someone Danny's age needs. Like he was willing to give Danny the benefit of the doubt in TUE ("He'll make the right choice"), but then steps in once Danny has proven otherwise.

Why there are people acting like Clockwork was the only cruel one (besides the obvious villain) when that whole damn episode was written around a kid's loved ones dying at a McDonalds explosion because he cheated on a standardized test is beyond me. Like honey thats just Butch Hartman writing- hes kinda known for having this bitter air to his work (even on episodes he hasn't directly written for).

You could still argue that Clockwork's handling of Danny is a bit much, and I would agree to an extent, which is why I propose this to settle the debate:

Danny can have more than one father figure in his life. Mind blowing concept, I know. In fact I think him having both Frostbite AND Clockwork (and Jack, remember him guys? He exists) would be a good balancing act between the two approaches.

I'm not saying Clockwork and Frostbite should make out, but if you wanna see things that way-

[haarrrys]

Can you do more single dad harry? Maybe harry struggles with Amani wanting more independence?

independence

wc - 1.5k

🏷️ tags - dad!harry , singledad!harry , minor angst¿, dad!harry x amani, and of course, fluff.

pairings - singledad!harry & daughter!amani 🍪🥛

summary - amani wants to go to a party, harry isn’t so sure.

a/n : i usually like writing amani as a baby/toddler but for this i decided to portray her as a teen, so she's like 14/15 :) the timeline in terms of harry's career might be messy but just know he's still touring and doing well!

more harry and amani!

"no."

"but dad—"

"i said no amani." harry sighed, shutting his laptop harshly and giving her a cold, yet gentle stare. he was becoming frustrated with her. he had been in his at home office for only ten minutes before amani began pestering him about a party. at first he jokingly ignored her, which she found humorous until she realized her dad was very serious about not letting her go.

he understands what she's going through; harry was once an impressionable teen like herself, wanting to do what everyone else was doing, even if some things he did get into could be deemed illegal.

harry regretted a lot throughout his teen years, he lied to his mum a lot and snuck around. he just doesn't want the same for her.

"this is what I'm talking about dad! you don't let me do anything! for just once let me do something on my own! ill be home before ten pm, and farha will be with me the whole time. just, please dad." her voice is quiet at the end, and it makes harry's heart feel terrible; like he did something horribly wrong to have his daughter in tears, even though he's only trying to keep her safe.

"I let you do things." harry whispers, ignoring the real problem at hand.

amani rolls her eyes in annoyance, "like what? last time i did anything remotely by myself was when i snuck out for an hour just to be with some friends, and even then you freaked!" she said, letting out a choked laugh of disbelief.

"I had every right to freak out, you weren't home and you didn't answer your phone! how do you think that made me feel?" he said, wrapping his arms around himself defensively. something similar about him and amani is that they're both stubborn. when they argue, neither wants to admit their faults.

he wishes amani wasn't so much like him sometimes, so sure of herself that she puts herself into situations that aren't safe, so vulnerable that's shes bound to end up hurt by someone.

"how it made you feel?" she deadpans, "do you ever think about me!? how I feel?!"

harry of course considers his daughters feelings, and well being in every situation, but before he can answer amani is storming off, muttering "forget it, I don't care." and he's left to the sound of her feet pattering against the floorboards, becoming more distant with every step. she has the decency to not slam her door, like harry definitely would've.

sometimes, harry wishes amani wasn't like her mother, who always ran away from problems.

—

around eight pm harry began to feel bad. he knew he wasn't wrong for not wanting his daughter, who is only fourteen, to attend this party with no parents or adults present. anything could happen to her, even if her friends are present.

who knows what they could be up to? amani has gossiped to him about some students vaping and doing drugs in the bathroom stalls, and although he trusts amani not to do these things he still doesn't feel safe sending her off while knowing that's what most of them could be doing.

is it so wrong to want to keep her safe? he knows he's struggled with letting her do things on her own but he's gotten better. she has sleepovers, goes to movies, and has even gone on vacation with her friend. all without harry. he's let her do countless of independent things, as long as he knows she's safe. this party, he doesn't think is safe.

—

a knock disrupts harry, and immediately he knows who it is.

"farha? amani isn't going to the party sor—"

"i know..can i come in please?" she cuts him off, not trying to seem rude but having urgency in her tone. harry nods, and moves to the side to allow her to come in. he's known farha since she was in pull ups, so at this point he considers her family.

"she's not in the best mood." he says, watching the girl take off her shoes.

farha sighs, smiling sadly. "I know, she's been reading my text but not answering. i brought some snacks to cheer her up." harry smiles back at her, glad that his daughter has such a great friend.

"aw, that's really nice of you." he says, only before he's interrupting himself.

"did you end up going to the party?" harry knows this may be a weird question, but he's just curious. and knowing farha's parents, they definitely would disapprove of the whole idea too.

she shakes her head, "i did want to go, but only if amani would come too. the party seemed lame anyway, got shut down by cops few minutes ago too. i guess me and amani are lucky, 'cause they're searching everyone." farha explains, laughing a bit towards the end.

harry smirks, and the childish part of him wants to go up to amani and chant a string of, "I told you so" but he's in his late thirties now, so he refrains from doing so.

after talking for a-bit longer, farha heads up to amani’s bedroom, leaving harry to his thoughts again.

he walks over to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water. he takes a sip, feeling the cold liquid sliding down his throat. it's been a long day, and he's feeling overwhelmed. he needs to figure out how to balance his daughter's need for independence with his need to protect her.

after all these years, he can’t help but feel like he’s still holding her back. even if his intentions are purely for good.

as he thinks about this, suddenly, someone is behind him, hugging him.

he doesn’t have to turn around to know it’s his amani.

"hey love." he says, trying to sound calm.

"dad," amani says, her voice shaking. "i'm so sorry. I shouldn't have stormed out like that. I know you were just trying to protect me."

harry feels a weight lift off his shoulders. he knows that amani is young and full of hormones, and sometimes she just needs a bit of space. but he also knows that he needs to let her spread her wings, even if that means letting go a little bit.

harry smiled as he wrapped his arms around his daughter, kissing the top of her head. "It's okay, love. I know it's not easy growing up," he said, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

amani sighed and leaned into him, and in that moment, everything felt right in harry's world. he knew that as long as he had her by his side.

harry took a deep breath and pulled away, smiling down at amani. "you know, I've been thinking. maybe we can find a compromise. how about this — you're allowed to go to the parties, IF I know they’re safe, and we set some ground rules that you have to follow."

amani's eyes lit up, and she nodded eagerly. "yes!dad, I’d love that!" she exclaimed, hugging him again. harry couldn't help but grin, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

they stood there for a moment, clinging to each other for comfort. it was a reminder of how lucky they were to have each other. they might not always agree on everything, but at the end of the day, they had each other's backs.

he knew that parenting was a constant learning experience, but in that moment, he felt like he had finally gotten it right. he had found a way to give amani the independence she needed while still keeping her safe. It was a delicate balance, but one that he was willing to work on every day — as long as he had his lovely daughter with him.

and as they hugged each other tightly, harry knew that everything was going to be okay. they had each other, and that was all that mattered.

“you guys are so cute,” farha gasped, making herself known as she walked into the kitchen, eating a snack (that was meant to cheer up amani) and joining in on the hug. both harry and amani laughed, rolling their eyes.

everything was gonna be okay.

thank you so much for reading! ☕️ 🤍

requests are always open!

-fic rec masterlist-

look at me posting.. lol.

but no, over the summer i swear I’m gonna be posting & writing a lot more! so anons who sent requests months ago.. get excited.

[sharonccrter]

Do you think there’s still a way they can fully redeem Lestat’s character for those viewers that don’t get past 1x05? I’ve never read the books so it kinda annoyed me that they would add a scene like this and potentially ruin the future of the character without it even being canon. I felt there was a chance they could have retconned it as a memory manipulation or something (I was fully expecting the memory to be a mesh of what Armand did to Lestat in the books (presumably??)) but that’s not gonna happen now.

Tbh it doesn’t bother me personally, I loved the apology scene and that it was clearly shown as something inexcusable and Lestat himself acknowledges it, but im not sure if it’s enough.

Another thing that I think the writers were trying to portray but some people aren’t really seeing is that Louis is a bit of a hypocrite. He attacks Lestat pretty brutally for putting hands on Claudia, but he himself does it later in the show. And then he excuses Armand for threatening Claudia and also doing the exact same thing?? But a lot of the audience won’t see those things as wrong because of how graphic and horrible that drop scene was in comparison (Which it totally was, it’s just that the writers don’t seem to see that they’re not comparable?).

On the other hand, I like Lestat being a complex character. There’s a lot they can do in s3 with his back story (I. e. Cycles of abuse with his father and maker that they hinted at). But I feel like there’s a big portion of the audience that won’t be accepting of it.

Basically I feel like the writers are a bit out of touch with their audience and how they’re writing is perceived, which is worrisome going forward😬

Sigh. This turned into a a word vomit and I apologize lmao but I was curious on your take

Eh, some people will never get over it, and that's their loss; in my opinion, they haven't ruined anything about Lestat's character. Yes, the scene was not in the book, but I understand why they did it, even if I'm not in love with the idea. It was for shock value but also to give Lestat more of an 'arc'.

I think it comes down to the fact that none of the characters are good people, Lestat has always been a deeply morally grey character who's done fucked up things, but he's such a compelling and exciting character that Anne Rice literally made him the main character and wrote 14 books from his POV.

She never claimed he was a good person, but he is a good character to write and read about. And yes, while I don't excuse Lestat's actions towards Louis. I do agree it's hypocritical for fans to say, "Louis was justified to act violently to Lestat because he laid hands on Claudia," when Louis has also laid hands on Claudia himself. Not to mention, Louis sat back and let Armand treat Claudia badly, and when she called him out, he had the audacity to say, "That doesn't sound like him."

Louis has always centred himself as the victim of the story. He even admits in episode 2x07 that he made himself more passive in the telling of how Claudia was made. Because he wasn't ready to face the bad shit he's done, and that's Louis's whole freaking character. I have to be honest here, Anon. I hated Louis in book 1; I do love him in the show because Jacob Anderson has done a fantastic job, but sometimes I just meh about the character.

If Lestat has a lot to atone for, and he does, he's not a good person, then Louis has a lot to atone for, too. I mean, hell, I even love Armand, the messy bitch that he is, because they're all bad people; that's literally point. And Yes, some people may not be able to get past 1x05, and hey, I do think there is still more to the story since Sam and the writers hinted at it being revisited in S3; but that's their problem.

I don't think the writers are out of touch; I think media literacy is dead, and people just don't know how to have fucking fun anymore. They also clearly don't understand what gothic horror is. But honestly, anon, I'm reaching the point where I don't care. They can either get on board or get off the train.

Also never apologise for sending long anons, happy to chat as long as you like :)

[olderthannetfic]

I've just read an article (in Gazeta Wyborcza) about a very popular series of books among young teens in my country, Poland, called "Rodzina Monet" (Family Monet). The author gained popularity while publishing on Wattpad lol. The article basically said that it's problematic because these books are read by young girls, even 10 years old, and it glorifies violence. Plus it just isn't well written - there were some fragments in the article and yeah it's not well written lmao. A woman in the comments said that her daughter is reading this book and asked if she should forbid it. Since no one answered her, I replied that I don't think forbidding the book is a good solution and suggested talking to her daughter about it, showing her the article and asking what she thinks about it. But I don't know anything more about that situation, for example how old the daughter is. I don't think I'd worry if my child were to read this book, I read trashy stuff too. But I started wondering if maybe there should be some control in such a case? The thing with the books from what I gathered (I haven't read them) is that they are about a 14yo girl, who suddenly lost her mother and grandmother, is sent away to US from Britain where she starts living with her 28yo (handsome) stepbrother and his 3 (also handsome) brothers. She lives in a beautiful villa since the stepbrother is super rich. He's also cold and distant and doesn't understand that she has issues with food (she has some kind of eating disorder). Some of the things he and his 3 brothers do can be described as domestic violence but they apologize, buy her expensive stuff and are all adult handsome men. Yeah it's a young adult fiction. The thing is that it's just not well written so none of the bad behaviours is commented upon.

--

Sounds like typical godawful id trash that people eat up. Making a rule against it will just make it more tantalizing.

It would be far more valuable to kick any worthless partners out of one's life and demonstrate not putting up with shit to a tween girl than to ban her from reading trashy books.

One could always try buying her something better, but IME, people who try that always do it wrong: they buy books that are better written, yes, but the vocabulary and sentence structure are a thousand times harder, there's zero iddy wish fulfillment, and the plot is something fucking depressing and supposedly edifying.

Readers can smell a tryhard "your taste is bad" gift a mile away.

I think it's also important when trying to find replacement trash to understand what the kink actually is. Why is it age gap? Well, have you seen 14-year-olds? They're awkward and covered in zits. Of course the protagonist is young like the readers and the hotties are older.

More importantly, why is it abusive? Absolute idiots will be like "Because society taught girls wah wah wah wah wah", but the actual reason is obvious if you've read trash romance for adults:

It's so the love interest(s) can be in the wrong.

The self inserty protagonist of this type of story has very little power. Not only is she usually younger, but she's poorer, a fish out of water in a new situation, etc. The way she gets power is by the love interest doing something absolutely horrible, realizing they have erred, and then groveling forever. Their guilt is an effective way to manipulate them. And yes, retail therapy is usually the next step from this particular trash classic all the way back to The Flame and the Flower.

You can try giving a teen girl a book about a teen girl action hero who is awesome and whose love interest likes her because of that... But if the reader doesn't feel awesome, she's still going to prefer a book about a loser with a destined, fated love or a misunderstood woobie whom other characters have to grovel to after not initially realizing she was special.

You can't fix self esteem by handing someone a book they don't identify with and telling them their id is wrong. And if self esteem does improve, that doesn't mean the lizard brain is going to switch trash fiction tastes anyway.

One can try leaving other fun books around, but that's about the most that could be helpful.

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 5x07 Let He Who Is Without Sin thoughts (I’m re-watching, so beware spoilers for future episodes!) [14 Sept ‘23]

Odo and Sisko ribbing Jadzia about her sex life XD

It's so cute that Worf still calls her "Commander" around others.

Hmmm, I was firmly against Worf last time - and I still don't like his whole thing against Boday - but also Jadzia is pretty disrespectful to what he wants, immediately telling people after Worf says it's a private matter.

"Have you ever noticed all the stars look the same?" I love Leeta so much, I can't wait to see more of her when she and Rom pick up.

"What's jamaharon?" "I'll show you later." XD that look!

Their "casual" outfits! Oh, 90s fashion crimes... I miss you

"Aren't you uncomfortable in your uniform?" I mean uniforms and not having to decide what to wear are The Best. (And also I am very much on the autistic Worf headcanon and can imagine uniform gives him a sense of comfort in a very uncomfortable environment.)

Worf! That was Very Romantic! I did not expect you to compare Jadzia to a nebula, ngl.

As much as I think Jadzia should be allowed to reconnect with a friend without Worf's jealousy, she's also not very considerate of his feelings. Blagh.

I actually kind of like this episode more now that I'm not just anti-Worf? I do wish Jadzia was allowed to just be the single, flirtatious woman - or polyamorous, flirtatious woman - she was meant to be, though.

Worf's scowl upon finding his "bathing suit" is Very Justified.

Worf's dumbfoundment at Leeta not being with Dr Bashir is hilarious. I do still like messing with his sense of what is "right" and "wrong".

Ugh, this man wants to paint himself as a "victim", doesn't he... "I can only imagine what you must think of me." Yeah, no, it's not that people hate you because you know some secret "truth" they don't want to hear, but because you're an awful, paternalistic, condescending killjoy.

"I may be wrong, but didn't he just insult us?" I love Julian.

Boy, do I want Jadzia or Julian to stand up and speak about their experiences with the Klingons or Dominion that he couldn't begin to understand.

"You two dishonour each other with your actions!" "You mean... We didn't tell you why we came here." Actually hilarious, Julian, how?

"I hope we proved our point." You wouldn't have if Worf hadn't stopped Jadzia attacking back, you'd be on the ground.

"I did not say you were doing anything wrong. It's just that some of your behaviour-" Aghhhh, I actually hate understanding Worf because this speech is awful but also it's coming out wrong. What he *wants* to say is he's feeling hurt by her disregard for his feelings but he can't put it like that.

And what he actually says IS awful - "At times, your are too impulsive. You act without thinking. You have no self-control." - because HE'S just as impulsive as her, and in ways that have actually hurt him and Starfleet - look back to his trial!! His fight with the Jem-Hadar when working together on the Defiant! He cannot stay himself when it is his Klingon pride at stake.

And Jadzia is rightfully hurt by these words, and how Worf has generally been acting, because if he meant it the way it sounds it would really not be great of him! I hated him the last timei watched this, and I really wasn't expecting that to change!

"Jadzia you are my par'machai... and everything you do reflects on me." That was not how that sentence was supposed to end 😅

I hate it but I'm actually liking this episode quite a bit - it's the classic miscommunication trope, but genuinely not from lack of trying on Worf's part, simply from lack of ability.

Leeta's so vicious in smashing the dish!

Quark is so hopeful with Leeta's revelation that he might see some of those "fireworks" he was taking about... xD

Hmm, not so sure even the Bajoran ceremony quite makes one ready for that sort of honesty, quite so soon, Leeta...

Worf calling her "Dax" as he spots her with Arandis. Seeing her as the symbiont and Curzon, not Jadzia.

Ugh, "you're too much work". Why did you have to say that? Though I guess if the situation was reversed and it was Jadzia saying it, I'd just take it as good natured teasing...

"What I want is Worf." "Why?!" "Because he has the courage of a beserker cat and he has the heart of a poet." "And the brain of a pigheaded idiot." "Yeah, sometimes." She says that last sometimes so fondly though... maybe if she loves him that bad she does jut need to put more effort in... (Also loving 'beserker cat' rather than simply 'beserker' or 'beserker warrior' XD)

"Maybe we have forgotten how to deal with adversity." Maybe the point of having a civilization where adversity is rare is making the most of happiness? And maybe those who do face adversity - like the Starfleet staff - deserve a fucking vacation? Most people on Risa are on holiday - they have jobs and other life stresses, even in automated space communism utopia. I think Fullerton is probably the one who needs a little experience of *true* adversity. -_-

Last time Worf's story made me go "booo, a little not of tragedy doesn't mean you're allowed to be a massive misogynist." But actually, Jadzia is right, it does explain a lot. And I do give most of the other characters some slack in the misogyny area given they were written in the 90s...

"Or at least get out of this room." "... Very well." Fullerton actually sounds disappointed to be asked to leave the room that's about to collapse. Oh god, he wants to be a martyr, doesn't he? 🙃

"I will do as I please." *throws him across the room* FRICKING IMPULSE RESTRAINT WHAT, WORF?

"I am on holiday." I'm glad that amused you, Jadzia, but what?!

"I better go find Bashir. He brought a horga'hn down to breakfast and that's the last I saw of him." Quark looking out for Julian is not something I realised was a thing? But that definitely sounded a little like concern. (Unless it's a hope he can join in, I guess... 😅) (Was not expecting to get on the Quark/Julian train either but if there was a time when it was going to happen...)

Huh, the worst thing this time was actually not Worf, but Julian and Quark objectifying Jadzia... and at least on Julian's part, I think it was in jest, given I don't think she was being her best self at that time?

Alright, well - for all that people hate that episode, which had included me… I enjoyed that, genuinely! Surprises never cease...

[mayajadewrites]

Levi Ackerman x Reader: Almost

Chapter Seven: Good Things

Chapter Summary: We got some more knowledge about reader and her past, and how she deals with relationships.

I'm gonna testing writing in a first person instead, writing "you" is starting to give me the ick LOL. Let me know what you think! It's still LEVI ACKERMAN X READER.

"I should get going." I stand up from the couch, the aftermath of the euphoria you just experienced taking up the space in my mind.

"If you want to." Levi didn't protest, wiping his lip with his thumb. "I'll drive you."

My legs were still shaking from Levi devouring your pussy, so you walked behind him so he couldn't see the embarrassment.

A man has never made me cum before. This man's dick has not even been inside me and he made me cum with his mouth and fingers. So many feelings swirled my thoughts, the first instinct I feel is to run.

My father is not the best example on what a man should be. He cheated on your mother multiple times, and he always told her he would change. Change never came.

He left when I were 14.

I witnessed my mother's heartbreak as she got rid of his things in my home, one by one.

"Why wasn't I enough?" I would hear your mom on the phone with her sister, gasping for air. "I gave that man a child, my entire life, and he threw it away like it didn't matter."

That conversation is burned into my brain.

People leave. Men leave. I know this.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Levi turned around, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. "You're never this quiet."

"I'm just tired." I briefly look into his eyes, leaning my cheek into his palm.

Levi accepted this answer and helped me into the car, studying my movements.

The car ride home was silent, but my mind was loud.

I don't deserve this.

He's gonna leave like your father did.

He doesn't want me.

Levi pulls up to my apartment, analyzing my face. He knows something is up, but he doesn't want to pry just yet.

"Thank you, I had a great time tonight." I look up into his eyes, feeling a genuine grin form on your face. Levi returned my grin with a slight smile, kissing my lips briefly.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He whispered, kissing my lips twice more.

I walk into your apartment and look back once to see Levi leaning against the Range Rover, with a half smirk on his face. I didn't have the energy to make a bratty remark, so I locked the door and listened to the sound of his car leaving.

I've never been able to regulate your emotions and address your trauma. I definitely have undiagnosed anxiety, depression, and possibly more.

To be fair, I've never had to address it. I've never felt this way about anyone. The reason I've only fucked men and not had feelings after the fact is because I wouldn't let myself. I am petrified of becoming your mother.

Levi doesn't deserve a woman like that. He's successful, wealthy, has women pining after him everywhere he goes.

What's so special about me?

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

Bzzzzz.

Levi: Sweet dreams.

Me: Goodnight Mr. Ackerman.

Levi: Brat.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

The next day I get up for your 6 AM shift, unsure if I'm ready to see Nina again after my drunken escapades. Nina is very understanding, but she likes to be... well, dramatic.

"Good morning sunshine!" Nina wrapped her apron around her waist. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling fine." I grab your apron off of the hook. "How are you?"

"I'm good! Ready for the day!" Nina smiled, clapping her hands together. "How was your morning after with Levi?"

"Morning after he took care of me and made sure I didn't throw up in my sleep, suffocate and die? It was good."

"Yikes, let me shut my big ass mouth." Nina giggled, leaving the back room.

The smell of coffee grounds lifted my spirits, temporarily helping me forget about all my feelings.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

I was on bar today, making everyones drink. The café was booming with people - students, blue collar workers, and everyone in between.

"Good morning, beautiful." A deep voice interrupted my thoughts. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up as my eyes met his.

"Good morning Levi." I smile, brewing his black tea. "How's your day looking today?"

"It's better now." He grabbed the cup from me, taking a sip immediately. "It would've been better if I woke up next to you, too."

A blush caressed my face as I shook my head. "I don't think you want to see me every morning as soon as I wake up. Sometimes my mouth is hanging open, I'm drooling -"

"Funny you think you weren't doing that the other night." Levi chuckled, his eyes scanning your face. "You don't look like you slept well."

Must be the bags under my eyes.

"You're so observant." I roll my eyes, beginning another coffee order. "I didn't really."

"I have to take this-" Levi held his phone in the air. "I'll talk to you soon. Have a good day, please."

"You too." I wave goodbye as Levi exits the café. I already missed him, but my anxiety subsided for a bit.

He can find someone better than I could ever be.

He probably wants a woman that can function every day, not like me who has to take depression days.

He wants a woman who's more fit than I am.

The negative thoughts spilled into my mind, taking over my positive ones. Negative self-talk is something I constantly suffer with - I seem to be my biggest hater.

I always ruin good things.

[hot-take-tournament]

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT!

PRELIMINARY #242

Submission 51

Balloon Boy is a good character and does not deserve hate.

I would like to be very vulnerable despite my anonymity and put forward a letter of sorts I wrote to the FNAF community when I was around 13-14 years old and even less medicated than I am now. I never posted this letter anywhere and it has sat in an old kids' PDF book creator app on my iPad for almost ten years. It's cringe. It's dumb. I was frustrated with a community I was hardly a part of. But even today I still don't think Balloon Boy is as terrible as the fandom made (and still makes) him out to be. Maybe I'm just more resistant to repetitive sounds, I dunno. He was a major comfort character for me, for whatever reason, so I must confess my continued bias. The following is that weird manifesto I wrote in a "fit of annoyance."

And I quote,

"A message to all Balloon Boy haters: We're the ones that know true sympathy. Of course, there ARE the ones who are truly evil, but then there are the ones that did not realize their wrong until it was too late. You, my fellow FNAF lovers, still have much to learn... Sure, you can say that you are not fond of a certain object, place or person, a noun, but that does not mean that you must tell the world in great detail. Saying it once or twice, okay, now the ones you've told know you don't like who, what or where. But if you keep bringing it up, that can lead to loneliness. Abandonment even. We all have our differences. This is true, and I respect all of that. But just because there's a divide doesn't necessarily make us different. We all have opinions. But just because it's your opinion doesn't make it a universal fact. Respect the other peoples opinions. 'WHAT???!! How can you like that??!!!' Try not to ask questions like that with so much intensity. A simple 'Why?' can suffice. Don't go into detail. Once you learn the reasons of the opinion, then maybe you can understand our sympathy.

It's not just because he's 'cute' or whatever. Think of if he had feelings. Sure, you can say 'But he's just a fictional character! Stop sympathizing!' but that would rule out your opinion too. By saying we cannot sympathize because he is not a real person, you basically have to cancel out any emotion directed toward him except neutrality BECAUSE YOU JUST SAID HE IS FICTIONAL. If he is truly fictional, then we cannot have any type of feelings whatsoever towards him, whether love or hate. Everyone has their faults. Just because someone is annoying does not mean they are evil and the devil. Being annoying isn't really evil. Think if he was the actual one to kill you. Sure, they could be intentionally annoying just to irritate someone, and do it a lot, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are evil. I respect everyone's opinion, and I am not aiming to convert everyone to respecting BB, but at least give him some credit. He does his job, doesn't he? If you hate him, alright, that's fine, but it's not very courteous or friendly to make a big deal of it and shun us BB lovers. Your opinions are opinions, not facts. I will admit, BB can be annoying, but at least feel sympathy a little and respect everyone's different opinion. Also, just because I view stuff where BB is considered 'part of the illuminati' or 'the enragement child' doesn't mean I'm a BB hater myself. I take those remarks as JOKES. Even if I'm wrong, I make it seem to myself that those people aren't hating Balloon Boy, they just found aspects of him to fit into certain jokes that would be considered humorous.

Thank you."

Obviously I was incredibly dramatic. I was waxing poetic to hundreds of thousands of people who would never read my words. I don't think it would have changed anything in the fandom and I probably would have been kys'd off the internet, so it's probably good I didn't post it anywhere. I didn't even have any proper social media past Google+ at the time anyway. Do I still agree with my younger self? For the most part, yeah! Their wording left something to be desired, obviously. I don't think "We're the ones that know true sympathy," is all that impactful even if it sounds fancy. It's just fandom drama, younger me. I wasn't wrong, though! The hate towards Balloon Boy due to his game mechanic and annoying laugh was incredibly blown out of proportion. In FNAF fandom culture at the time he was almost only ever characterized as The Worst Child Ever(tm) and bullied to all hell even though his characterization was next to none...just like every other animatronic, really. Maybe that's just a general fandom problem, but I digress. He could have still been the annoying kid without becoming the antichrist or whatever.

Balloon Boy is a cute little kid who happens to be a troublemaker, basically. That's all he is. Maybe calm down and lessen up on animating Freddy smashing this poor kid's head into the wall in SFM, I dunno.

Sorry it took so long for me to post this. I know it takes guts to be vulnerable on the internet, even anonymously <3

Propaganda is always encouraged!

And remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

[truly-morgan]

[Deaged!WWX meets JC (w.i.p)]

Shuangjie | Mo Dao Zu Shi 14-07-2021

[#shuangjie + deaged wwi wuxian]

What if wwx gets cursed in some way and ends up deaged, but only mentally. His (mxy) body stays the same, but he goes back to who wwx was somewhere between the killing of Tulu Xuanwu and the attack on lotus pier. he has no memory of what happened to ymj, nothing about giving his golden core, SSC never happened to him, he isn't the yiling laozu yet and never died and revived either.

This is young wwx pre-demonic cultivation and pre-war. lsz and ljy are here when he wakes up, but wwx is so confused because he doesn't understand why these kids his age keep calling him "senior wei". even less /gusu lan/ disciple.

The only face he does recognise is when lwj finally appeared upon hearing his husband awoke. But even then, wwx is confused, who are these boys calling "hanguan-jun"? And why does lwj look... older?

of course, lwj who is specialised in everything wy immediately can tell something is off and quickly they figure out what happened.

then comes the moment where wwx starts to feel uneasy about this situation, everything seems off, why is he in CR without his shidi (or any other ymj disciple for that matter)? Also, isn't CR burned down? how come he was allowed here? Aren't the wen still here? Then he asks for his shidi, because this is what he is worried about right now. Why isn't he here? Did something happen?

He can't calm down and they set to lp after he asked to go home. The travel is made with some tension, lwj (followed by ljy and lsz) make sure he doesn't look at himself through anything reflective (which does set some worries in wwx, why can't he look at himself?) Then, when they get to lp, they are refused to enter, some glaring at him. Why are everyone so defensive around him?

After a while, they are allowed in. They were probably new disciples (he doesn't recognise their faces), yet this keeps adding to the feeling of unease. lwj isn't the same, these lan boys talk to him as though he was much older, ymj disciples act as though he isn't welcome here.

And now lp seems... off. Everything seems in place, yet some details are wrong, it feels like home but not quite. A door that should have been here isn't here. this table isn't quite what it should be. Why do many things look newer than what he remembers?

Then he passes ymj cultivator and the robes feel just as off. Is his memory failing him are were the uniform not like this yesterday?

But also...

Where is jc? Why hasn't he showed up yet?

They finally get to the sect leader quarter and even this... seems so off. But it's alright, he'll be able to ask jfm about it. but then they get in and /everything/ if different. From where furniture are placed, the furniture itself and the overall aesthetic of the place.

Then his gaze fall on the person who just stood up, looking directly at him.

And he is pinned in place by those eyes. This looks like jiang cheng, but the idea he would have of his years in the future. He looks taller, stronger, more fierce...

but also displeased.

"Second young master lan, may I ask why you decided to barge into lotus pier?"

wwx is so confused as to why jc sounds so cold towards lwj. Sure, he never was close to him, but they didn't hate each other either, right?

"A-cheng, why so cold? I simply asked to be brought back home because I have no idea how I ended up in cr"

he is surprised by the glare given to him by his shidi, not expecting for him to get mad at him. What did he do wrong this time? This doesn't look like angry chengcheng, he looks seriously mad at him, as if he did something horrible.

all of this makes him even more uneasy, yet he tries to hide it as best as he can.

jc doesn't add any more, observing wwx. something seems off about him. He knows the man can be shameless, but he wouldn't but so bold as to be so familiar with him and dare to call LP home after rejecting him.

After the guanyin temple they kept their distance (to wwx wish) and when they had to "work together" (or rather they happened to be there at the same time) wwx wouldn't act so familiar with him anymore.

Then he hears wwx go off about what he remembers before waking up in CR and it makes jc frowns even more. He must be fucking with him right now, these were all things from deep in the past, days before the wen destroyed LP.

"What is the meaning of this?" he asks, turning to lsz for answers (He is less likely to get mad if it's not lwj explaining and rather someone he got used to after being around jl so much).

He steals glances to wwx as the young cultivator speaks, seeing how confused he seems to be too. wwx apparently ran off somewhere on their last night hunt and he was unconscious when they got to him, they have no idea what happened.

"Then seni- hum..." lsz catches himself, reminded by how wwx nagged them about it, "Wei Wuxian woke up... like this". and by like this jc understood. This was wwx, but him from back in the day.

He was seriously unsure why they took him back here though because he wasn't more knowledgeable of how to get wwx back to himself. "I still don't understand how it concerns me" he does point out, "Why take him here? Doesn't Gusu Lan have the resource to search this... situation?"

"A-cheng, why are you being so mean to me, you know CR isn't for me! Plus the wen are still there right?" He then throws a look at lwj and it is a sentence in of itself, clearly he doesn't understand why jc wants him to stick with lwj either.

jc sighs at that, pinching the bridge of his nose, thinking.

He doesn't necessarily want to deal with this, but he also knows wwx. He /will/ find a way to run back to LP if they take him back to CR. In best case scenario he travels without problems, worst-case... he doesn't want to think of it.

Sure, the cultivation world might have softened their opinion on the yllp, but many were still wary of him. wwx in this state is missing nearly two decades worth of what happened in the cultivation world, but also the memory of what he did & why some will be wary and hostile towards him.

Something in him tells him not to involve himself, but stronger part care and worries for him. jc ends up accepting reluctantly, telling servants to prepare a room for their guests. lwj thanks him for his help and goes to guide wwx outside of the room, yet the man dodges him.

wwx might be really confused about what is happening, but he was able to piece together that, right now, this wasn't the time and year he thought it was.

Was he... in the future? This would explain how lwj and jc looked older and how everything felt odd (even his body felt odd). He has the impression that he should be close to lwj, but he is not? Sure, they fought well together and he does like teasing him, but they aren't close either.

He should be close apparently, yet he can't get himself to be comfortable with this unknown relationship he has with the second young master of gusu lan.

He turns to jc instead, hoping that this future version of him would help him out a bit more. He didn't understand why he was apparently not in LP anymore, but he thought jc would at least help him. He knows how he actually is not really close to lwj!! Plus he has no idea who these two young cultivators (who keep referring to him as if he was old) are.

Everyone goes silent at that, not missing the hurt on the man's face, yet he doesn't reach again, accepting it. This "isn't" his husband, this is young wwx where they have still not had the best of interaction.

ljy seems about to say something, but jc is quicker than him.

"I will take care of wwx for now, hanguang-jun doesn't need to worry".

To this, the lan politely make their exit, lwj clearly tensed, and follow the disciple who came to guide them.

Only once he was alone with jc did wwx manage to calm down a bit (which didn't go unnoticed by jc.).

jc simply asked for a servant to prepare a certain room for wwx, before going back to his desk, showing for wwx to sit with him.

"Do you understand the situation?" he asks.

jc won't run around the bush, he knows wwx si smart enough to have caught up on the situation at this point. He might not drop 2 decades' worth of information on him (not now), but he wants to make sure wwx understand the situation (and situate from when exactly wwx "is from").

"I am in the future?" wwx answers, although it does sound more like a question.

"my, you could say it like that" jc says, "Sound more like you regressed back to a younger self to us" he pointed out, "What do you remember exactly happened before waking up". then wwx proceed to tell him again, a little bit more calm this time and more at ease, allowing jc to have a better idea of when, which he was exact.

wwx had killed tulu xuanwu, but nothing had hit LP yet. truly this wwx was lucky to only have these memories (and hopefully, only for now, wwx really needed to get back to normal).

somewhere in wwx rambling about what they did the day prior to him waking up at CR, somewhere came to tell them the room was ready.

with this, jc decided to cut the conversation here, leading wwx through those halls that were the same yet not at the same time, smiling a bit happily when he realised this was the way to his room.

"For now, try not to run around and stay in your room," jc asked.

wwx was about to protest, but seeing how serious he was, (and remembering what situation he was in) he decided not to argue too much. "I'll come back to get you in the morning tomorrow, we will try and see what we can do, for now, rest".

before going, jc made sure with the servant that no mirror or overly reflective objects were in the room. maybe wwx could accept that he was in the future, but it was probably harder to understand why he wasn't in his own body (jc didn't have the energy to go back over years of bad times and memories).

On the other side, once wwx was left alone he dropped the facade, allowing himself to be worried. He seriously didn't understand the situation and even the room that should have made him feel better couldn't because some things were too off to be /his/ room. It was as if nothing in here had been touched in /years/.

He was trying to process what exactly had happened but really couldn't see how he ended up in this situation. He went to bed when a headache started to bother him.

Now he was back in lotus pier with jiang cheng. This situation was complicated and confusing, but he trusts his shidi. He felt like whatever was to happen, as long as jc was here he would be alright.

===

(Look at me, still having no idea where I go with this. I might have later when I know. I somehow wanted deaged jc dealing with deaged wwx. where he is stuck between all the shit that happened, but also still caring for wwx and knowing that /this/ wwx hasn't done anything per se (yet).

Dunno, just a series maybe of Wei "I have no idea how I got here in the future" Ying meets Jiang "I am tired of everything going bad all the time I need a vacation" Cheng.

also, make me wanna make a wei ying meet deaged jiang cheng)

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[Part 2: mixed feeling]

The next morning, wwx woke up early, a bit confused why he got up this early when he would usually sleep until later in the morning, but since he couldn’t get back to sleep, he decided to go and try to find jc. 

Before that, he tried finding some robes, not that he hated the paler one that was more typical to gusu lan, but he wanted something more him. He was delighted to find some clothes that fitted perfectly what he would usually wear.

They looked pretty similar to a set of robes he had actually, now that he thought about it, yet these looked unused.  

But then when he changed it felt strange. He had expected the clothes to be a bit too small for him. After all, these looked like clothing he would wear in his teen years, but his body should be at least two decades older, doesn’t this mean he should be a different size?

Yet they were actually too big for him!! It wasn’t comically too big (like a kid putting on adult clothes), but they were clearly not fit for his build. How so? Weren’t these supposed to be his clothes? 

This only contributed to the weird feeling he had about his body, something was clearly up. Some things he thought were as tall as he was now taller. Touching his own body felt strange, as the feeling wasn’t quite right. And the strangest of all he felt weak, had his cultivation been affected by this curse?!?

Adding to this how he had not been able to see his reflection one time since he woke up in CR, he was starting to wonder what happened to his body.

He decided he would ask jc later, putting on these clothes even if they were a bit too big (who cares, they were in his room, they are his even if too big). He was ready to go out and find back jc (or wander around LP for a bit), but was instead surprised when he ended up face to face with the two lan kids that came with them. 

“Senior wei, good morning” lsz smiled politely, followed by ljy. “We were asked by hanguang-jun to come to pick you up, so you wouldn’t get yourself in trouble by doing something stupid” ljy finally said, gaining a look from lsz for the way he had said it. 

Wwx wanted to sigh at them being there so early, yet it was probably to be expected with the usual lan schedule. He did think of running but pushed down the idea (“jc seems already tired of this situation, maybe I shouldn’t add to it... for now”). 

So he followed them and he found jc and lwj eating in the room, sitting at a good distance from one another. Wwx missed how lwj moved a bit so he could sit next to him, instead of directly going to sit next to jc, already greeting him and being happy to see him again. 

“We were trying to figure out what happened to you,” jc said when wwx asked what they had been talking about before they got here.

And this was actually the only thing they all talked about as they were waiting for a servant to bring them breakfast. Wwx had somewhat stopped listening, as he had no recounting of what they were talking about.

When the food finally came in wwx was a bit puzzled as to why he had such bland food too, throwing confused glances to jc. Had they cooked him the same thing they did for the lan? Such bland and boring food? “A-cheng, won’t you let me steal some of your food?” he asked teasingly.

When he did try he was surprised when his hand was pinched away, making a dramatically offended face “A-cheng, why so mean!” he said, yet didn’t try again. 

He really wanted to push again, but he felt like things were off. He felt like if he were to push this older jc too much, the man would seriously get mad, nothing like what he was used to from his grumpy shidi. Honestly, the last thing he wanted was to really offend and upset him. 

Yet, after a while, he saw jc reaching for his bowl, leaving in some of his spicier food, making him grin.

The younger lan boys gave an uncertain look to lwj, unsure how the man felt at seeing his husband acting like this with slj, yet they couldn’t read anything, his face as impassive as usual. 

Breakfast was unusually quiet for what ymj meals could be, probably because most lan do not speak while eating (even outside of gusu lan). Which jc didn’t mind, since he didn’t have much to share with his guest, even less since it was someone, he wouldn’t normally welcome like this.

Yet wwx would still start talking to him by moments when the silence would get under his skin, sometimes teasing lwj the same way he would in the past (although it probably felt like recent things for wwx right now).

This left jc the time to think about the complicated feeling he had since they got here yesterday night. He had been conflicted about how he should feel. He still felt all he felt from all the shit wwx did.

Transferring his golden core without telling him. Deflecting and choosing the wen over his promise. Being the cause behind jyl and jzx death. The way he acted now was as if they should leave the past in the past. He still had all those things that had piled up over the years.

But he still cared for him and somewhere deep inside he knew he would never stop caring for wwx, he wasn’t sure what could actually kill that care he has for him (and he knows deep down that he hope wwx also still cared for him).

But this wwx? This wwx hadn’t done anything yet per se. This was wwx before the destruction of LP. Before giving his golden core, leading him to demonic cultivation. This was wwx who wasn’t affected by war and DC. This was wwx before he did anything that caused this feeling.

Something in him felt like he couldn’t blame /this/ wwx for what he has done because this wwx clearly only wants to be by his side and actually be the twin pride of yunmeng jiang. This was a wwx who in his [wwx] mind would keep his promise because nothing could change him from doing that. 

Yet another simply couldn’t throw away all the grieved and anger he had gone through (and he feel like he could never let it go fully). Another part was still telling him not to care and to keep his distance because he would only get hurt again. 

Yet he could see how wwx wasn’t playing some joke on him. This was wwx genuinely acting like the wwx jc used to know.

He had barely slept because of his conflicted thoughts and had decided to slowly give it a shot. Test the waters. He would try his best not to snap at wwx the same way he would probably, because this wwx technically didn’t do anything yet.

He didn’t dare to get his hope up, knowing that if they were to manage to cure him, things would probably go back to what they were and he would only get hurt. 

But he would try, because he could see wwx was holding onto him because until now, aside from lwj (with whom he doesn’t remember being close to), jc is the only one he can rely on. 

Because he still cares about wwx and doesn’t fully have it in him to kick him away when he needs it like this, not when this is the wwx he had hoped to see again.

By the end of their breakfast, he had decided on what to set his mind on, feeling more at ease with this choice (yet still hoping he wouldn’t regret it). The rest of the day went by with wwx stuck to him nearly all the time as they were all trying to gather as much information as they could.

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[part 3: parts of the past] 

It took until his second day in LP for wwx to finally see himself and most likely only because he decided to sneak to the pier (as much as he wanted to help with this curse, there was really nothing he could do, so he decided to go have a look at the pier). 

He found somewhere in the shade and where the water was calmer to take a look at himself and he was immediately confused. This wasn’t him! Nothing about this face was him, he couldn’t even blame this on a curse maybe changing him a bit, this was just /not him/.

He started to wonder /why/ he wasn’t in his own body and why /no one/ had mentioned that as if it was actually the normal part of it. Was it normal that he was not in his body? Now he understood better why none of them wanted to let him see, but why couldn’t they tell him? It was pretty important!? What had happened to his normal body? 

And so he ran back to the sect leader quarter where everyone was talking, needing an answer. He didn’t care for the disciple telling him not to just barge into the office like this, his mind racing as to figure out what happened.

Lsz and ljy jumped when the door was suddenly thrown open to reveal a rather troubled wwx. “What happened to my body?!” he asked, eyes landing on jc for answers.

Many emotions he couldn’t decipher flashed across his shidi’s face before he sighed. “This is actually a long story,” jc said, looking back at him, “And it could take a while to tell you, and none of it might be... pleasing to hear”.

“Wei Ying was offered a body after an incident happened” lwj ended up saying to his husband (if he could still really call him that) to try and reassure him without telling him all the detail. 

“Jiang Cheng tell me what happened,” wwx asked, taking a step towards his shidi.

“I do not think sect leader Jiang is the best here to tell” lwj ended up commenting, not wanting for wwx to end up believing he was a monster if jc were to be too harsh.

“Oh, and second young master lan is obviously one to know better when he wasn’t even there I suppose?” jc asked, the frown on his face deepening even more at the clear implication. This only help in throwing wwx into more confusion and worries. What had happened that would make it so hard to tell him? Why were they arguing again?

“Something happened to senior Wei’s original body, and later on someone did a body transferring ritual to give you a new one” lsz ended up telling him calmly.

Sure, he didn’t have all the detail about the man’s life, but he could tell that much without revealing he had actually died. He barely reacted when two pairs of sharp eyes suddenly went to him, although none of the men added to his statement. “Something happened?”. It was truly frustrating that none of them would tell him, it was about him!

Couldn’t he know why he wasn’t in his own body anymore! Especially when the golden core in this body was so weak as though it never was able to cultivate correctly.

jc went to pinch the bridge of his nose again, thinking over how he could explain this without freaking out wwx too much. He wanted to wait a bit more before retelling more of what happened because if they could cure him quickly it would be useless (But he knew that if wwx were to be stuck in this deaged situation, he couldn't go about his life without knowing everything).

"Exactly like lsz said, something happened to your body and someone offered you his body" jc confirmed, "I can explain to you later what happened".

"I can explain to him, we wouldn't want to bother slj more than we already are," said lwj.

wwx looked a bit confused at the man, turning towards his shidi again. Was jc really seeing him like a bother right now?

"Does second young master lan knows what I am feeling more than I do?" jc asked annoyed, "I am the only one here who can decide whether or not this situation is bothersome".

Sure, it was a bit of a bother, but in a way, there was something about it that he still like (despite knowing he should probably not like it).

Whatever lwj might be thinking about him, jc still cared for wwx and was ready to help. He could have just as well let lwj deal with this wwx who doesn't trust his life into his hands immediately the same way the older one would do.

but he didn't because he cared for him.

wwx on the side was confused by the sudden tension of the room, unsure why lwj was acting as if he knew better. Wouldn't he have been by jc side when whatever happened, happened? How would lwj know better?

"Why not work together to tell what is necessary for this question?" lsz suggested. "Like this, if details are missing, the other can add them".

wwx gave the young man a smile at his suggestion, finding this could be a good idea if it can at least keep them from being so hostile towards one another.

So this is how they decided to go, wwx sitting with jc (as usual in the past two days), lsz and ljy ready to be a moderator so no one started to fight.

"I think we should only explain what caused lead to the body transfer" lwj stated before they could start. explaining two decades of things was already a lot to do, but also he didn't want for his husband to be overwhelmed by what he did and caused in the past.

"Finally something we agree on," jc said with a roll of his eyes.

wwx wished he could have the whole story, but he felt like if it wasn't for them wanting to tell him, no one else would.

"Event causes you to use demonic cultivation" jc stated, not interested in reminding himself of what happened to LP /again/.

They explain a little bit about the SSC, how much wwx had used DC (while slightly leaving out all the damage he had caused, this would be for later) This made wwx a bit unsure. Why would he use DC (which he was pretty sure no one else had used before) when he had a perfectly functioning core.

"You didn't have your core anymore, slj did" lwj stated, a hint of reproach in his tone, as if jc was the one who asked for it.

"I gave you my golden core!" wwx turned to jc, looking at him in shock, his mind going wild about the reason that could have pushed him to do so.

jc simply glared at lwj for revealing this, as this memory was something he would rather speak about in private with wwx instead.

"Yes, but the reasons behind it are unimportant for the situation of the body transfer, we can talk about it later"

wwx wanted to push, because this was concerning, something must have had happened if he gave away his golden core, yet he could see in his shidi expression how it was a sensitive subject and how he was already on edge because of lwj. upsetting him was not his goal, so he decided to ask later on.

"Then... did someone make a body offering because I was coreless?" he asked.

"No one knew you were coreless," jc said, a pinch of reproach in his tone that won him a glare from lwj, "I do not think someone could give a body to someone who is still alive, it was because... you were dead" jc finally said.

this made wwx freeze a bit. He had died? He had /died/?!? How could he die so young?! From what they were telling him, he had been doing pretty alright with DC.

"DC was corrupting you and ended up being your downfall" lwj mentioned, leaving out what this downfall had been, "People are saying DC backfired and you were killed by your own army".

lwj wanted to mention other rumours, but it wouldn't be fair as he knew from wwx words himself that jc didn't do it. Really, wy never told him what happened exactly. wwx nodded at that, still a bit unsure what to make of this. it was a lot to take in, that he had died, and apparently from his own cultivation path at that. How could he have gotten to that point?

"Then who gave me this body? Why would he do it?"

"Mo Xuanyu from the Mo family" lwj replied, "You told me he summoned you so you could... take revenge on his family".

This made wwx even more troubled. Someone had summoned him back /to kill/ people?! What had he done in his life for people to think he would happily killed anyone as if he was some sort of demonic spirit.

He turned to jc for answer, yet the man wouldn't get the hint (although he was sure it was on purpose). He supposed it was best like this, he felt like he had heard enough for now, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to hear what else he had actually done in the past for all this to happen.

"I think this is enough for today, now you know why you do not have your original body anymore," jc said as he stood up, "Try not to use DC too much anymore so it doesn't happen again" he simply warned, "cultivate and train your core instead, young master Mo might not have been the best cultivator, but I am sure you can achieve something".

with this, jc ended up excusing himself. After all, he still has a sect to lead. Plus, he doubted wwx was in any state to continue for today and they had already hit a wall for now, all he would do is get angrier at lwj.

Back in the room, lwj stood and went to reassure wwx, yet all he received was a small smile from the man.

He had forgotten this wwx wasn't used to him...

"Is senior Wei alright?" ljy asked, clearly able to see how the man was troubled.

"Yes, of course," he said, forcing another smile on his lips, standing up, "I think I simply need... a moment to process all of this".

He ended up excusing himself too, going back to his room for now where he could process all of what he had been told, his mind racing to figure out how come he had gotten to that point.

No one saw him all day until came diner time.

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[🔅part 4: jin ling] 

It took a couple of days before wwx was able to be alright with the fact he had actually died once. In those couple of days, they also went back to the forest where everything happened, yet they couldn't really find anything and the nearby village wasn't that much more helpful in the task of finding if it ever happened in the past (they weren't sure if they were hiding something and most of them were just not good with outsiders).

It was frustrating to say the least, but they were still looking into it. They were back at lotus pier so jc could take care of some things (lwj and the juniors were back in CR to search the library about it).

This is on his return that jc was surprised by jl visit. “I heard words about wwx being in LP and since I was nearby I decided to come and see". Jl wasn't sure what had happened and simply wanted to make sure his jiujiu was alright.

Jc raised a brow at that, somewhat doubting it was entirely because he was in the area. He was about to tell jl it was alright when wwx suddenly appeared, a large grin on his face as he called out to jc. “ymj training sure are as severe as they were back then” he joked before his gaze landed on jl. 

He was immediately intrigued, as he did not expect for jin cultivator to come here (although it was probably not that surprising since shijie was supposed to marry the peacock. Now that he thought about it jc didn't mention them...). “I didn’t know a-cheng had gotten closer to the llj cultivator, I thought you also thought they were too arrogant” he pointed out amused.

“wwx has been hit by a curse de-ageing him” jc pointed out before jl could ask anything, clearly getting what could have bothered his nephew. This did explain a lot in itself, jl might not have known wwx in his youth (obviously), but he had heard stories.

“Strange, you remind me of the peacock” wwx admitted, tilting his head a bit as he was looking at jl, analysing his feature. The nickname made jl scoff, somehow knowing exactly who he must have been talking about.

“Of course, jin ling is his son” jc replied. 

Wwx gaped a bit at that. “No way,” he said, although he could very much believe it, “Shijie had a son!” wwx then added with a smile, “jzx better have taken good care of her or I'll beat his ass” he then added with a chuckle, missing how jc jaw tightens up and how jl tensed up at that.

“During the SSC his attitude towards jiejie changed and he took good care of her” jc commented, voice sounding off. Wwx was about to ask what was wrong, but a bark stopped him, making him freeze where he was standing next to jc.

Fairy was back from being spoiled by the ymj disciple not too far from here and was now finally coming back to jl. Jl was actually surprised by how worse than usual his reaction was, suddenly making an excuse to go to the pier (“Just finish training, must stink right? I’ll just go bath before we get back to research”). 

“He doesn’t know about my parents,” jl asked when wwx was away, frowning.

“He was deaged to a couple of days before the wen attack LP” jc replied, before explaining a bit more about the situation at hand. “He doesn’t know yet what he did, only some truth of it”.

This somehow made jl a bit angry. How could wwx go back to a state where nothing ever happens and where he hasn’t done anything yet, while his jiujiu was still stuck with the knowledge of all that he has lost, some because of wwx. He was startled a bit when jc ruffled his hair a little bit, telling him not to worry. 

“I can deal with it, plus I am sure we will eventually find the solution and everything will go back to normal,” he said.

“But do you really want everything to go back to normal...” jl thought to himself when he stole a glance at his jiujiu as they were going to get some tea to talk a bit more.

Throughout the day wwx tried to bother him, teasing him a bit about how similar he was to his dad yet acted like jc.

when he was not accidentally bringing back bad memories, jl could see now who had been wwx in the past and why jc was still attached to him.

truly, all jl wished for was for his jiujiu not to be hurt again...

Original

[uniasus]

Whumptober 2023 - Day 14

Going back to my roots with this one - have some poetic Merlin angst.

------

Merlin knows Camelot isn't the place for him after his first month, when the newness disappears and he settles into a pattern of helping Gaius and serving Arthur.

The stone of the castle makes his body heavy, and he wakes every day remembering the one time he fell asleep in the neighbor's barn and three sheep slept on him. He'd been warm, but the weight had made it hard to breathe, hard to move, and he'd felt trapped half the night.

Every night in Camelot fells the same.

He also finds himself oddly drawn to flowers and plants. Gaius would catch him absently fingering herbs still drying, Gwen shyly sneaks him a flower from Morgana's room on occasion. He craves the greenery in a way he doesn't understand, smelling flowers and sticking his head out of windows to catch the sight of trees. He loves heading to the pitch to watch the knights train because it means he can subtly touch grass and bask in the sun, his magic slowly spreading until it snaps back at Arthur's bark of his name. Merlin always feels bereft then, as if someone had slammed a door into his face.

Because that's exactly what had happened. He'd suddenly cut himself off from the natural environment he grown up in, cooped up and cramped and craving craving craving.

Craving the space to stretch. Free time and free will. Safe spaces.

There's none in Camelot, not even Gaius's chambers. His uncle's paranoia is infectious, Uther's propaganda oppressive. Soon, it's not just Merlin's magic that feels cramped and itchy and wrong. It's Merlin too. He wants out out out.

But at the center of that is a kernel of hope. Kilgarrah's words. They sounded like candy - sweet hope and a solid purpose – and were so easy to swallow. But it wasn’t dissolvable sugar. Those words sit in his stomach and they make him do things – he lies and hides and hurts. Those festering emotions sit in his stomach, and Kilgarrah’s words turn into a hard candy shell around them.

He can swallow the harshness because it’s surrounded by sweet words. He can hurt people, kill people, because it’s necessary for a better, honeyed world. But with each deed he does, each terrible thing that the candy shell expands to cover, to excuse, the pain in his gut grows and grows until it becomes a pearl of poison.

It’s not just Camelot that has Merlin trapped, it’s Merlin himself. Magic restrained. Morals turning brittle and bitter. Even as he saves Arthur week and week, he feels his blood getting more and more toxic. The boy he was is gone, drowned by blood and twisted by hope and crushed by stone-cold reality.

His mother gives him pained smiles. Gaius just calls him ‘my boy’ and offers hugs and advice Merlin takes even as he wishes it is different.

Merlin is drowning in a drought – no free magic, no happy days, no sign of Albion – waves of despair cresting higher and higher over his head while the dragon’s poison both feeds him and makes it hard to stand.

Maybe, maybe, Arthur will notice and swing open the floodgates of equality.

Until then, Merlin swallows his poisonous hope, his dream he’s done such dreadful things for, and wonders what will finally end things – Arthur’s sword or Merlin’s inability to recognize the boy he used to be.

[kaesaaurelia]

an appointment with the supreme archangel

For @whumptober day 20, using the prompt "you will regret touching them."

This is the last installment of this fic!

The previous installments were posted on Day 1, wherein Crowley definitely did not move into the bookshop, took a nap on the couch afterwards, and when he woke up his lungs hurt and he passed out, Day 2, wherein Muriel carried him into Maggie’s record shop, because they hoped a human might understand better than they do what was wrong with him, Day 10, wherein Crowley’s illness was causing strange and terrible weather, and help from Heaven was not forthcoming, Day 13, wherein Crowley got even worse, but Muriel thought they might’ve worked out what had happened, Day 14, wherein Muriel and another angel worked out a very unpleasant cure for Crowley, and Day 19, wherein Muriel learned about deceit and betrayal, and got the evidence they needed to show exactly who was responsible for having poisoned Crowley.

Content warning for everyone in Heaven taking their frustrations out on each other (even Aziraphale).

Muriel had never met Arariel in person before, and they were much more anxious about making a good impression on them than they were about their meeting with the Supreme Archangel. At least they weren't the only one who was anxious, because when they got to Physics & Metaphysics, Arariel seemed almost startled to see them, and they were wringing their hands as they showed Muriel around Physics & Metaphysics.

After the brief tour, they said, "You're shorter than I thought you would be."

"Oh, sorry," said Muriel. "I could be taller if you like." That seemed like a weird thing to say, they realized, a little too late.

"No! It suits you," said Arariel. And then they smiled nervously and straightened their tie. "Sorry, don't pay attention to me, I've never had an audience with the Supreme Archangel. Not any of them."

"I don't know if it's an audience," said Muriel. "I'm just popping in to say hello, and also to tell him about the whole... incident. It's an update. And I want to make sure you get credit for your help!"

"Right. Yeah." Arariel swallowed. "You're certain they won't be angry with you for saving a demon?"

"It's Crowley, he's not a bad demon. You'd understand if you met him," Muriel insisted. "Ooh, if you ever get to come down to Earth you have to meet him!"

"I don't think I want to meet a demon," said Arariel. "They were bad enough before they were demons, when they were forgetting to use eye protection and fooling around with resonance structures and rebelling against God."

"Crowley's not like that. You'd have loads to talk about, I bet," said Muriel. "Like. Hydrogen!" Arariel was very big on hydrogen, Muriel knew; it was one of the top two components of their proudest accomplishment, water. Muriel didn't understand why they liked hydrogen so much specifically, but they liked Arariel's enthusiasm, and apparently there was a lot of it in stars too. "I bet Crowley'd love somebody to talk about hydrogen with."

"Oh. Do you think? I never thought of that," said Arariel. "I don't know that I'd do well on Earth, really. It sounds very dangerous."

"It really isn't," said Muriel, "at least, not if you've got a guide. But we had better get going. You don't have to come along if you don't want to," they added, because Arariel seemed so nervous, and after all, they had been wrong in trying to assume the best about Kabniel and Pahadron; they could still be wrong about Aziraphale.

"I know, but it doesn't seem fair to let you take all the risk," said Arariel.

"Don't worry," said Muriel, "I'm very brave, I can handle it." Sometimes if they said something enough it ended up being true.

They got to the waiting area where the Supreme Archangel's personal assistant sat. His nameplate said his name was Phanuel, and Muriel recognized the name -- he'd been Gabriel's personal assistant too. But they'd never talked to him.

Phanuel frowned at the two of them. "Do you have an appointment?"

"I have," said Muriel, "but also, I think he might want to speak to my friend here, so --"

"The Supreme Archangel does not have time to waste on everybody's friends," said Phanuel. "Your friend can wait here, on the extreme off chance he wishes to speak with them. What's your name?"

"Muriel," said Muriel. "Actually I already filled out the visitor form, unless you've changed it, just so things could go --"

"Fill out the form," said Phanuel. "Both sides." Muriel looked down at it. Nothing had changed, so they took it, sat down next to Arariel, and began copying the version they'd already done onto the fresh new form.

"Sorry you're stuck out here," they said to Arariel.

"That's all right," said Arariel. "Don't think I've ever had a friend before. It's... nice."

Muriel laughed, which Phanuel apparently disapproved of. They ignored him. "It is nice, isn't it?" They looked over the form a few times, just to be absolutely sure nothing had changed, and when they were satisfied, they gave it to Phanuel, who didn't even look at it.

"Go on," he said, motioning towards the bit of ether where the Supreme Archangel worked. They took a deep breath -- a new human skill they'd learned -- and went to speak to Aziraphale.

"This had better be important, Hamaliel," said Aziraphale, rounding on them as soon as they got there, but then he saw them and his entire demeanor changed. "Oh! I'm so sorry, I think I forgot about our appointment. What can I do for you?"

"I'm actually just here to update you on the situation on Earth," said Muriel, cheerfully. "It's very unimportant and dull, and I doubt it would interest anyone else." Hopefully that would throw any unseen eavesdroppers off. "Anyway. Er. So. A little over a month ago, the demon Crowley, er, moved a lot of his things into the bookshop -- I mean, the Angelic Embassy -- and --"

"Oh," said Aziraphale, looking stricken for some reason. "Oh, I wish... well. I'm glad he's using it."

"Yes," said Muriel. "And. Er. This is where things get extremely boring," they reiterated. "But. I received a housewarming gift from you."

"A housewarming gift?"

"It's a charming human --"

"I know what a housewarming gift is," said Aziraphale. "What do you mean, from me?"

"Well. The note said it was from you, but later on I realized it couldn't possibly have been sent by you," said Muriel, "because of course, you're very busy, and that it must have been sent on your behalf, very generously, by persons unknown, who were maybe too shy to take credit for it. And I think..." They paused. Did they really want this? They suddenly wished they had asked Crowley, since he was the one who'd almost died, but Crowley looked so unhappy every time anyone mentioned Aziraphale. So they'd have to trust their own judgment. They decided to press on. "I think you ought to reward them for their generosity."

"I don't understand," said Aziraphale. "What was the gift?"

"It was a candle," said Muriel. "Very smelly. The note that came with it suggested that I be sure to light it while Crowley was around." And they recounted the whole incident, Crowley's cough and fainting, the blood rain and the thunder and all, as though perhaps it had been the result of a very minor misunderstanding. Aziraphale was a very impatient audience, and Muriel kept having to reassure him that Crowley was doing very well indeed, and when they were done the air was full of ozone and electricity and fury, and they were a little worried, actually; they could see why Arariel had called him smitey if he did this kind of thing regularly. "And, and I did try to let you know," they said, "only I couldn't get through to you at all."

"But he's all right? Crowley, I mean?" Aziraphale's expression was fierce and furious.

"Of course he's all right," said Muriel. "I wouldn't let anything bad happen to him. He's so nice!"

"Yes, but you said --"

"I couldn't contact you, but I was able to talk to somebody in Physics & Metaphysics, and we worked out how to get the holiness out of Crowley by having him breathe holy water. It's very lucky he's immune to that," they added, and this seemed to be a shock to Aziraphale, whose face twitched for just a moment in a way they could not read at all. "Anyway, he got better very quickly, and I played a lot of evil records to clear the holiness out of the shop, and now he's fine! He does still sleep a lot but he's right, it is very different from that hallucinating he was doing before, even from the outside. It seems like a much calmer sort of hallucination. And he's excellent at making customers leave, especially when he's a snake."

Aziraphale let out a breath that seemed to contain all the tension in the universe. His shoulders sank, his eyes closed, and he tilted his face up a bit, as if in thanks to God. "Well. That's. Quite a story."

"Oh, I'm not done," said Muriel. "I think I worked out who sent the candle! On your behalf. So you can reward them," they reminded him, in case he forgot that was what he ought to be doing. Which seemed a very real possibility. "Although there might be other people who helped, so you might want to be careful who you tell. Just in case the others are also... shy."

"Ah. Of -- of course. Reward them." A hint of ozone still lingered in the air. Muriel swallowed. "Who was it, then?"

"Well. I can't be 100% certain, and apparently handwriting analysis doesn't always hold up in court on Earth, but fortunately Heaven barely ever has to have trials, because God's judgment is infallible!" This seemed to upset him for some reason, but Muriel was almost at the important bit. They produced the note that had come with the candle (in its little plastic bag) and Pahadron's signed form. "This is from one of the angels who visited to collect the saint's relic afterward."

"Yes, I see." Aziraphale manifested reading glasses out of the ether to examine both the form and the note. "Did you draw up this form?"

"Oh, yes," said Muriel. "It was nothing, really."

"Pahadron... doesn't she work down in Wrath of God?" He got to the second page of the form.

"That's what the edition of the Heavenly directory I have memorized said," said Muriel, "but things might have changed since then."

"Oh, I assure you, if they haven't yet, they will now," said Aziraphale, darkly. "Good heavens, how many places did you have her sign and initial?"

"Six, I think?" said Muriel. "The more places people have to sign, the less likely they are to read any of it." Aziraphale looked up suddenly from reviewing the work, and he seemed... just, really sad, like he didn't want to be there at all. Muriel felt badly, but they couldn't imagine what they'd said that made him feel that way, so they just added, "Crowley taught me that."

"Yes. I had a feeling," sighed Aziraphale.

"He's very clever," said Muriel.

"He is. And he's all right now?" Aziraphale asked sharply. "No lingering symptoms?"

Muriel knew he had been listening when they'd told him that the last several times, but they were prepared to be patient about it. "If there are he hasn't said anything," said Muriel. "He's still very grumpy, but he seems a bit less grumpy than he was before all this?"

Aziraphale sighed; he did not appear to be much cheered. "Well. I suppose that will have to be good enough. Now, you said there were two angels who came down to retrieve the saint's relic?"

Ah. This was the part Muriel was uncertain about. "Well, yes, but the other one's handwriting doesn't look anything like the note, so --"

"Muriel, who was the other angel?" Aziraphale asked, looking uncharacteristically stern.

They felt rather than heard a distant roll of thunder, and they shivered. "I don't know if they actually wanted to -- to do anything that -- I mean, I don't know if they deserve to be, er, rewarded --"

"It is not your task to judge that," said Aziraphale. "Who were they?"

Muriel knew, of course, that Aziraphale's judgment would be just. He was so nice. And also fairly kind. And he was Supreme Archangel, which of course meant his judgment had to be good. For some reason none of these thoughts made Muriel feel much better. Kabniel had not been kind to them when he had been their supervisor, exactly, but he had not been deliberately cruel, either, and he spoke so highly of their work, and most importantly, he didn't know Crowley, and had no way of knowing Crowley wasn't the usual sort of demon.

"Muriel?"

"It was..." They swallowed. "Kabniel. He's really very nice, though, I don't think he -- he might not have meant to --"

"Did you have him sign one of these forms?" Aziraphale asked.

Muriel did not look at him. "Yes."

There was an expectant sort of silence during which Muriel could only look at their own hands. "Can I have the form he signed?" Aziraphale asked.

Trembling slightly, Muriel produced the form. Guilt lay heavy in their chest, which was awfully strange, because, being an angel, they had only ever done good.

"Thank you," said Aziraphale. "I will consider my actions carefully."

"Please, sir, you must remember that he doesn't know Crowley, he can't have realized --"

"He shouldn't have to know Crowley," snarled Aziraphale, and this time the air was prickly and the thunder was audible. Muriel went very still, as if by doing so they might escape his wrath. Aziraphale looked suddenly ashamed, and shuffled the papers he was holding. "I'm so sorry to have frightened you, my dear, I don't mean to. I'm just under a lot of stress these days. I'm very glad you were there to make things right."

Muriel nodded, relief flooding through them. They remembered Arariel suddenly. "It wasn't just me, actually. I had help from somebody in Physics & Metaphysics to work out the stuff with the holy water. They're here, actually, and..." A wild impulse seized them. "I think they're a bit bored over in Physics & Metaphysics, so, er, if you had anything for them to do on Earth they might like that. Don't tell them I told you that, though. Do you want to meet them?" Muriel asked.

"Well, if they're here I suppose I ought to," said Aziraphale. He was not half as enthusiastic as he had been in Muriel's imagination. A lot of things had not gone quite as they had in Muriel's imagination, and Arariel's misgivings about Aziraphale made a lot more sense now.

But things went well with Arariel; they were visibly very anxious, so Aziraphale was perhaps trying harder to put them at their ease when he talked to them. At one point Aziraphale asked them, "If you were -- purely hypothetically -- going to go to Earth, where would you most like to go?"

"Oh, this is going to sound a bit silly, but speaking hypothetically, I'd... well." Arariel looked away shyly. "I'd really like to see some water. I know it's a very dangerous chemical, especially in large amounts, but I think it would look very majestic, running free and wild in, in, rivers and things."

"Well, I think we can find someplace on Earth that has a lot of water," said Aziraphale, smiling slightly. "And perhaps also some land, to look at it from."

Arariel looked up sharply. "Oh! I didn't mean -- it wasn't a request, I know my job up here is very important and --"

"Arariel, when was the last time Heaven asked you to complete a task. A specific task, I mean, I'm not asking about when you were last on call?"

Arariel considered this. "Hm. I think... two hundred years ago? Give or take. I could consult my notes, but I didn't bring them, I should have thought to --"

"No, no, that's all right, you weren't expecting the question," said Aziraphale. "And before that task two hundred years ago?"

"Er." Arariel frowned. "Not since the Flood, I don't think. We got together -- the seven of us on the water team, I mean -- and worked out rainbows, it was a lot of fun. Each of us put in one color. Wish there were more rainbows I could work on. I don't know what it was for, exactly, but it seemed delightful."

Aziraphale had winced at the mention of the Flood for some reason, but the rest of Arariel's explanation seemed to genuinely delight him. "Well, while you've done some very good work here, I don't know that this is the most efficient use of your time. If anything comes up on Earth that you might be suited for, would you mind being reassigned?"

Arariel stared at him for a moment. "I. That would be. If you're sure I could -- yes. I mean, no! No, I wouldn't mind at all. As long as it's something I could do well."

After a bit more talk about water (and hydrogen) Aziraphale sighed and said he had a meeting to get to, and they left him to it. Muriel went back to Earth, mostly satisfied, and clutching a bit of paper with a passcode to call on Aziraphale directly should something like the housewarming gift happen again.

They were a bit worried about Kabniel still, but Aziraphale had said he would consider his actions carefully, and they knew Aziraphale wouldn't lie.

--

After the two junior angels left, Aziraphale snapped his fingers to speak to Phanuel, who was, unfortunately, the Supreme Archangel's personal assistant. Tragically, this made him Aziraphale's personal assistant, whether Aziraphale wanted him or not. "Supreme Archangel?" said the little glowing ball of light that connected him to Phanuel.

"Send Pahadron up to my office, please."

"From Wrath of God?"

"Is there another Pahadron I don't know about?" Aziraphale asked.

"No! No, no, of course not," said Phanuel. "What, um. What's the occasion?"

"Given that she's in Wrath of God, what do you think the occasion is, Phanuel?" Technically it was the Wrath of Aziraphale, but he didn't need to know that.

"Sorry!" said Phanuel. He needn't sound so frightened; Aziraphale wasn't smiting him. Aziraphale still needed him around to bore through the thick shell of bureaucratic nacre Heaven had built up around its core mission of Goodness and Light.

"Also send up Kabniel, if you wouldn't mind?" He would mind. Aziraphale expected him to do it anyway.

"He's..." Aziraphale heard the sound of pages being turned very quickly. "Doesn't he supervise a handful of scriveners? What do you need him for?"

Aziraphale looked down at his own copy of the directory, which was open to Kabniel's entry. "My understanding is that he's also one of our curers of stupidity, and it's come to my attention that he has been falling down on the job."

"Ah. Very well. Did you want to meet with Pahadron first, or --"

"Oh, I need them both here at the same time," he said. "Don't let them know that, please." He wanted the schadenfreude of seeing the moment they both realized why they were here, and that it was too late to pretend their little adventure in outre candle-making hadn't happened.

"Did they... are they..." The little glowing ball of light fell silent while Phanuel tried to work out how to ask if they were in trouble without getting himself in trouble, because absolutely no one in Heaven just said what they meant.

"Are they what, Phanuel?" he asked.

"Nothing! Never mind. I'll send them both up right away," said Phanuel. He sounded properly frightened. That gave Aziraphale little pleasure, but it was a decided improvement over Phanuel's smug self-importance when he'd first been assigned to Aziraphale. He'd heard an awful lot of things about what Gabriel did and how Gabriel did them, but now Phanuel kept his thoughts to himself, which was the greatest blessing he could grant anyone.

Aziraphale looked over the forms Muriel had left him. He was really very lucky they were there to look after Crowley. This job was very trying even on the best days, but fortunate little things like that made him more and more certain he was meant to be up here, no matter how much he wished he was not. Things would work out for the best, he told himself. They always did. He just had to have faith.