#he doesn't care if people are queer or women or whatever

[seleneprince]

Beron Vanserra is a capitalist first, Fae second

[goldxnfemme]

I've been thinking quite a bit about this conversation I had with a butch I had a thing with, a few years back. To be honest, it crosses my mind a lot. In this conversation we were talking about butch/femme, aesthetics, stereotypes etc. The context to it is that I saw a video that showed, unfortunately stereotyped, femme as these 4 styles of clothing and whatever, you can think it was funny, it's not the end of the world certainly, but we got to talking about this notion that I think the community forgets, regardless of verbally recognising "we're not aesthetics".

He showed me a picture that he really liked of this butch/femme couple in a bar and they were both wearing the same outfit and yet we could recognise them as a butch/femme pairing. Reminds me also of this black and white picture of two butches with a femme in the middle, they were in similar clothes, only the shirts said "butch" or "fem" in the case of the one I now bring up. Both of these were taken before the 1980s, if I recall correctly. Of course these are pictures, so we don't get the full context of their identities, but the intention here is to illustrate the concept of, in a way, the silliness of separating us by clothes and aesthetics. What this expectation of femininity or masculinity means considering both of these can be presented in such a subjective way.

When I talk about this, and how I view femme through my own femme lenses, I want to once again, shed light to some parts I love of The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader by Joan Nestle:

"the femme is the lesbian who poses this problem of misinterpreted choice in the deepest way... Femmes are women who have made choices, but we need to be able to read between the cultural lines to appreciate their strength. Lesbians should be mistresses of discrepancies, knowing that resistance lies in the change of context." - the resistance and the strength of femme, along with its meaning, isn't quite obvious and a lot of people tend to miss it.

"Butches were known by their appearance, femmes by their choices."

And this part of Butch Is A Noun by S. Bear Bergman:

"(For the record, I believe that the same is true of femmes; the femmes who get the most admiration, the most approbation in the queer community in which I live seem to be the ones who cherry-pick exactly what of femininity they want, mix it with a hearty dash of traditionally masculine characteristics like sexual agency, stompy boots, assertiveness, fondness for power tools, and so on, and shake up a gendered cocktail that makes traditional unexamined cultural femininity look a little watery, a little pale. This is what I see, as a longtime admirer of femmes in all their variations, but I freely acknowledge that I only see what any femme cares to show me, and it's really not for me to say."

I think femme identity can become this pale misconstrued concept because we're not as obviously recognizable and people aren't as prepared to recognize us. People get used to, when thinking of lesbians, noticing and expecting butch signs, in such a way that femmes flew under the radar as an identity and definition and we still deal with that heavily today. And lately I've been seeing somewhat of a guessing game of what it all means that doesn't encompass our full range, truly it's hard to encompass that in any case.

But the moral of the story, I guess, is that femme needs more than a glance, more than one size fits all, more than what meets the eye, if we can recognize the multitude and holistic nature in the other side of our coin, we're capable of recognizing it within us.

[peggingeddiediaz]

Hello, I know I’ve been gone for a while, but I received a lot of hate for not staning a side character and I had to take a break. Now though, I don’t care.

The obsession with BuckTommy as a couple is pretty much fetishization and misogyny bc I'm 100% sure that if Tommy had been a female love interest, his stans wouldn't have been so obsessed with the relationship and would’ve hated every single thing he did last season.

Buck’s coming out as bi should be the focus, but as always, such an important storyline gets reduced to a rushed relationship and a obsession for a side character with not enough background to fill a napkin.

Buck being bi doesn't mean he has to end with the first guy he kisses or that people have to like whatever he has going with Tommy, especially when he’s had so little development that his characterization is whatever head canon you guys gaslight yourself into and think that makes him the best gay character ever. Y’all really went insane over those cameos.

I don’t think you guys really care about good, well crafted, quality narrative representation of queer relationships, you only care about flaunting around your canon surface level ship. It’s pretty obvious why a lot of Bucktommy blogs used to be Buddie accounts in the months prior. It’s bc y’all only cared about Buck messing around with any guy he could find. A white man specifically.

The negativity towards Buck and Eddie skyrocketed from "They won't be canon, Eddie is straight" to the absolute extreme with "Why not just have Eddie die so Tommy and Buck can raise Chris?" The increase in blatant racism using shipping as a cover is incredibly sad.

A lot of you had no issue with Tommy, a white man randomly appearing again being revealed to be queer or Buck’s coming out but the idea of Eddie, a mexican man with catholic guilt and failed relationships with women, is too insane to happen somehow. And let’s not get into the “theories” about how Eddie, a latino man, is gonna side with Gerrard’s racism because of a mustache but Tommy’s active bigotry towards Chim and Hen during season 2 should be ignored because “he changed”. I wonder WHITE that is...?

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

The hyperfixation demons are screeching at me to write a comprehensive list of all the reasons I like Fukutora, so today I present to you "Ant ignores their responsibilites and spends several paragraphs explaining why Fukutora is peak despite them having roughly 10 seconds of shared screen time"

1. Contrasting Personalities In general their personalities fit together really well— Fukunaga barely speaks while Tora exclusively shouts at max volume and can't stfu to save his life, Tora's overly-intense and takes everything way too seriously while Fukunaga's cracking jokes in the middle of important games, they're even literal opposites on the court as the two wing spikers. Their differences compliment each other perfectly and because of that I think they'd grow a lot being together, Fukunaga would learn to open up and Tora would mellow out. Another good contrast is how Tora's all about looking cool and standing out while Fukunaga tends to blend into the background, which leads into my next point...

2. MY ROMAN EMPIRE (aka chapter 309) I know it's only two pages out of a 33 chapter match but i dont care, this scene makes me feral. I read the manga after watching Dumpster Battle, so imagine my suprise when my two favorite losers had a moment THAT GOT CUT FROM THE FUCJIGN MOVIE (I'm still salty, it should've been a full season).

Anyways these pages rooted their way into my brain because they show that even though Fukunaga goes unnoticed by most people (both in-universe and by readers) Tora realizes how great he is, and not only respects his play style but views him as a rival on the same level as himself. One thing I appreciate about Tora is that despite him being the stereotypical "strong manly athlete" type he doesn't think his methods are the best or only way of doing things; Fukunaga scoring points without "big fanfare" is just as cool as the shit he and Tanaka pull off. The phrasing "that I hafta surpass" could even imply that Tora sees Fukunaga as more than an equal, as someone who's ahead of him since he doesn't need to be flashy or loud to do amazing stuff.

Look at his smile on page two, bro's just excited to have someone who motivates him to keep pushing himself. And as we've learned from Kagehina: what's gayer than a rivalry?? All in all I think it's sweet that Tora notcies his efforts and admires him when few others do. Side Note, I've seen a translation of these that call them "Nekoma's Wings" and I think that's a sick nickname.

3. Bi Tora and Internalized Homophobia I love a good internalized homophobia arc, and characters like Tora that center so much around girls and manliness are some of the most fun to explore them with imo. You could say he's one of the least likely characters in hq to be queer since he's THE woman-lover next to Tanaka and Noya (and Yachi) but that's what makes it interesting—his gay awakening would hit like a tsunami and send him into life-ruining bi panic for months, especially since he's already such a mess when it comes to romance. He gives me the vibes of someone who has no problem with other people being gay but struggles when it comes to himself since it clashes with his conception of what it means to "be a man" or whatever. My point is he'd have the most intense no homo phase to grace this earth and I think that's both super funny and compelling for his character.

Also as a bi person myself it's kind of frustrating how bisexuality is treated online sometimes. It's annoying when a person's queerness is negated the moment they show attraction for the opposite gender, so headcanoning a character like Tora as a bi while still being openly into women makes me happy.

4. The Stage Play They're so silly in the stageplay. Why is he dragging him around by the feet? Why are they screaming at Kenma? Why is he constantly bopping him on the head in the background? WHY IS HE SERVING FACE IN THE PROMO PICTURES? So silly.

(Ignore how blurry these are lol) 5. Ant's Little Sister Bias This is a me thing, I like ships where one party has an annoying little sister who bothers them, sue me. Its cute. Akane and Fukunaga could have the most adorable friendship if you believe.

6. They Match Each Others Energy My first post about them was me rambling about this so just read that, TDLR they're both energetic menaces who match each other's freak.

7. Kenma's Forced Third-Wheel Purgatory Putting Kenma in a situation where Kuroo's graduated and his closest remaining friends are dating and constantly forcing him to third-wheel is just about the evilest thing you could do to the guy. He may be one of my favorites but this is well-deserved punishment for his crimes.

8. Baffled x Baffling Another ship dynamic I like a lot is when one person is unabashedly weird and the other thinks they're a total freak... but likes them anyways. They don't know why they like them. They can't explain it to anyone. Whenever the person does more weird shit they're like "why tf do I like you." But even so they're whipped as hell. Anyways Tora barely understands a single thing Fukunaga does and I think that makes for a funny crush to have.

9. Fukunaga's "Current Concern" Don't have much to add here, it's just proof to me that they hang out idc. Like why are you concerned about what he wants?? Kinda gay dude. Big fan of Fukunaga whispering to him and Tora answering at full volume so other people hear a one-sided conversation.

10. These Fics Before I knew this ship was even a thing I stumbled on these fics while browsing the Fukunaga tag, that's what got the gears turning:

• My favorite one, third-year shenanigans • Peak, need to be signed in tho • College AU • This one is mostly gen Fukunaga but the few moments they have are perfect (also really fun Nekoma interactions overall)

11. Other Miscellaneous Thoughts • Both of them being public figures/lowkey famous in timeskip is cute, like imagine them being each others' biggest fan before they make it big.

• Chef x guy who eats a lot is peak fiction. In this case they both eat a lot. Their grocery bill is a horror story.

• I know it's because characters are usually grouped by year and Kenma ditches them to sit with Kuroo but they're always together in the stands, pretty gay if you ask me

• I hc Fukunaga as genderfluid so Tora still gets his chance to be a wife guy. Him and Tanaka ranting to each other while Kiyoko and Fukunaga drink tea in peaceful silence.

• I think Fukunaga's the type to enjoy people watching and Tora's always doing something dumb. Observing him like a little bug under a microscope

• They're both so silly looking, cartoony ahh designs. I just think they'd make a funny couple visually, they're so square and stick to me if that makes any sense lmaoo

If you got through this whole post you're a real one, thanks for reading to my brain dump. I think about them every day and need more people to understand the vision

[piosplayhouse]

The horse is six feet under at this point I know but I still can't get over the gall of James Somerton correctly! arguing that Disney's lack of queer representation should be blamed solely on the company and not on the Chinese market, only to immediately fuck up any sort of logic he had in saying that by concluding that this is because China should be completely written off as a viable market because the government only lets people watch shows about communism and censors everything else 🤪 source: I shit you not, a right wing conspiracy theorist !! Since he doesn't actually know anything about the subject he's talking about, he's not actually making any arguments. He only mentions Chinese BL because the article he plagiarized did, and even then he has to punctuate it with a "audience of mostly STRAIGHT WOMEN! " of course, even though the article also acknowledges and has multiple interviews with queer Asian people who found comfort in the genre right below all the stuff he copied. There's no mention of queer Chinese artists or lesbian works or any sort of empowerment, probably because he didn't care to learn about any of them, and so rather than ending with what could have been a strong message about the persistence of queer identity even under political oppression, the video fizzles out into nothing with an aftertaste of "so Disney should just say fuck the Chinese and make whatever they want" (because yeah James sure that's the reason why Disney doesn't make gay stuff there's definitely no biases within the company itself or American culture) and "well at least we still have the Japanese and the Thai are making bl now!" Just the epitome of self-centered white saviorism. No real sympathy or respect for queer Asian struggles, just a reframing of a unique struggle with representation into "well I got mine so go get yours somewhere else" while he waits for them to spit out a work that he can regurgitate into a profit on his channel

[grison-in-space]

man I've been listening to Guards! Guards! again, right. I was going to do Feet of Clay again but I wanted so badly to spend some time with Lady Sybil in her element, so I detoured over to the beginning. (Incidentally, Making-Money!Vetinari up against Guards!-Guards!Vetinari is one hell of a contrast. One gets the sincere impression that older Vetinari would wipe the floor with his younger self if they ever met, and then be painfully embarrassed afterward; and yet you can see the potential among the arrogance. I wrote this bit before I wrote a longer piece about that exchange, but I'll get round to linking it in here in a moment.)

But I wanted to discuss Sybil.

The first thing you have to understand about Sybil is that she is an archetype of a certain kind of autistic person, usually a woman (or a queer man). You find them in every kind of domestic animal fancy, although Sybil is of the class and rank that generally focuses on relatively large, expensive, and impractical animals; the dragon fancy is mostly based on the dog fancy, with strong influence from horse fancies and sometimes cat or falconry fancies. It is not a coincidence that Sybil is unmarried and that most of her time is spent with other women, often middle class or upper class women, who share her all consuming interest in dragons; this has been a really common social circle for autistics, especially autistic women with independent money, into a given animal fancy since the cultural concept of animal fancies existed.

The second thing you have to understand about Sybil is that she is not at all a conventionally attractive woman. Here are the things we learn about her as Vimes does, in order: she has inherited wealth and status that she does not particularly care about; she is large--taller than Vimes himself, or at least tall enough to loom over him--and "booms" confidently and incomprehensibly at him; and even after she takes off the heavy protective armor useful for conducting a dragon mating, she's tall and fat and (implied to be) heavily muscled under the fat. Her figure is compared to the Venus of Willendork, or perhaps an operatic Valkyrie, and she wears wigs because she is generally fairly bald, or at least singed. She's loud by nature. She wanders around with a dragon on her shoulder creating awful smells and occasionally dribbling.

God, I love her. Speaking as another erstwhile animal fancy autistic, she's really living the dream there. And this little Watch man shows up in her life, totally fails to understand what she's asking for when she tries to conscript him into the easy job for the breeding she's trying to facilitate, and then sits and asks her a bunch of pointed questions about her beloved dragons. He's weird in his own way and a little drunk, and he really is unfortunate enough not to have any dragons experience at all, but he sits down and he asks her questions and he listens to everything she can infodump at her with, as far as I can tell, rapt fascination.

This is not an experience Sybil Ramkin has frequently had. He doesn't try to escape or change the subject or draw her back to the pieces he cares about even a little bit. He's clearly dazed and confused and probably, knowing Vimes, a little bit drunk, but he's not even visibly discomfited enough to shove poor old Dewdrop Maybelline Talonthrust the First out of his lap. Sybil clearly knows that most people don't appreciate being drooled acid on, and tells Vimes repeatedly that he can shove the old man off, but he makes no effort to do so at any point. Given that dragons are described as having a quite pervasive smell, and given all the other details of their biology, I can't even begin to imagine how awful the old dragon must smell... and Vimes just sort of rolls with it.

(It's a pity Pterry didn't understand show names at all, of course; the ones we get should tell us something about the relationships among dragons and kennels, and the prefixes should be repeated, and whatever Sybil's own kennel name is should be present in many of the dragons she mentions. Probably it's either Talonthrust or Moonmist, but either way Goodboy Bindle Featherstone of Quirm is named entirely wrong. He's clearly of her own breeding, so he should have a kennel prefix or suffix that aligns with hers, not a name that has nothing in common with her other dragons and implies that his dam was bred by the duchess of Quirm rather than by Sybil herself.)

He listens and he listens and he asks questions and he goes down to the kennels to look at her pride and joy and listen to her explaining what makes each of them so nice. And then he brings her an incredibly exciting present. And he expresses interest in the sweet little whittle she's been trying to work out what to do with, who is totally not a breeding specimen but is too weird even for the sort of people who adopt dragons from the Sunshine Sanctuary. He doesn't even try to leave until the big dragon overhead causes a big stir, and then when she has him taken to her house to recover, she finds him reading her book about diseases of the dragons with every evidence of fascination.

Small wonder she takes notice of him, really.

[romanarose]

About a Girl Masterlist

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Summary: Joel is a simple man. He goes to work, he takes care of his kindergarten age daughter, he tries to make sure Tommy doesn't die and occasionally Tess comes over. He works on Frank and Bill's farm with Tommy, Tess, and another coworker, Max. For his birthday, Tommy drags Joel out to a local grunge band's show, music he knows Joel hates. Joel is surprised to find Tess's girlfriends best friend, a girl they all call Blue because of the blue in her hair, has caught his attention.

What he doesn't know is she is trans. When he finds out, he's very confused, not because he judges her, but because he's not sure what it means for him. Does it make him gay? What does trans even mean? He's very confused. Still, despite all the confusion Joel has an open mind and he just knows that he has a lot of feelings for you and he wants to try. Joel goes on a journey of learning, not only what your trans identity means but also how to take care of himself, how to set boundaries, and learning he doesn't need carry the whole world on his shoulders.

Joel loves country, is as yeehaw as they come. Blue loves grunge, and looking as edgy as she can get by as a school teacher. Can you and Joel make it all work with the one thing that bonds them both together; flannel?

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

Themes: Found family, Tommy shitheadery (I love him), bi Aunt Tess, Joel recovering from emotional abuse, tired Joel trying to take care of everyone, grunge v country, lots of flannel, y'allternative (blending Joel's country life and reader's grunge life), Sarah Ellie friendship, Bill and Frank as the elder gays, Joel knows nothing about queerness and transness but by golly's he's trying, single dad Joel, good uncle Tommy, good uncle but also not very responsible and maybe has an addiction problem Tommy? lets find out!

Chapter 1: Joel is tired. Chapter 2: You help Joel relax Chapter 3: Blue comes out Chapter 4: Joel tries his best to stay open Chapter 5: Blue and Joel make it official Chapter 6: Blue gets to bond with Sarah Chapter 7: Blue meets Kayla and Joel is honest. Chapter 8: Joel is there for Blue, always. Chapter 9: blue sets up her future with Joel Chapter 10: Happy endings

Made for Oscar Isaac/Pedro Pascal Pride Event

How to keep up with the series:

Follow About a girl series on tumblr

follow @romana-updates and turn on notifications

Ask to be tagged!

[aromanticannibal]

mha characters that are aro for CANON reasons (read: in which I reach increasingly further for canon evidence):

(Disclaimer: some of these can be evidence of characters being something else than aro (or ace) but this is my post and I can do whatever I want + /hj to /j to everything on there, when I say I start reaching I start REACHING. These are headcanons!)

Aizawa Shouta doesn't ever show romantic (or sexual) interest in anyone and is actively put off by Ms Joke hitting on him and the idea of getting married to her

All Might has NO experience with women according to Horikoshi (could also mean he has experience with men but y'know)

Ashido Mina really wants to be in a relationship but never fell in love (cupioromantic moment)

Both Bakugou Katsuki and Todoroki Shouto hide from girls crushing on them near the end, don't ever show romantic interest in anyone or get anxious or flustered near girls, Katsuki especially apparently never cared about girls (and vice versa) before and and Shouto specifically doesn't notice when he's hit on.

Iida Tenya is never interested in girls or men and is significantly more focused on both his studies and his friendships

My favorite headcanon: Uraraka Ochako's love for Izuku seems founded more on her admiration and people telling her she must like him (because boy and girl etc) than in actual romantic love, and she connects a lot with Toga (who also loves people in a non-conventional way)

Midnight doesn't have a romantic partner or anyone she regularly flirts with despite being a very beautiful and desired woman, and doesn't seem to have had any kind of romantic relationship with the three boys more or less her age she hung out with a lot (the rooftop trio) (she can also be seen as a cliché of aroallo person who only cares about sex so I'm claiming her).

Pixie Bob's obsession with finding a partner is giving "I've been told all my life that I HAVE to get married and I don't want to so I keep looking for the perfect match and not finding it because the man I'm looking for doesn't exist because I won't ever fall in love". Because by god you can't tell me the cute blonde catgirl isn't finding a boyfriend.

All For One only cares about his brother, I'd even argue he's aromantic asexual aplatonic etc. a-everything except familial and idk. quirkic. attracted to quirks.

Mount Lady is aro for the same reason as Midnight but because I think it's implied or canon that she's dating Kamui Woods, she's lower.

Midoriya Izuku is green so he's obviously aromantic and most of his flustered reactions to girls seem based more on shyness (and an obvious reaction to getting boobs shoved in his face) and sexual or aesthetic attraction than romantic attraction (he also has a very romcom view of what being boyfriend girlfriend is, ie. his reaction to Toga's confession)

Aoyama Yuuga's definition of love (according to his comment on Ochako being in love with Izuku because she was thinking "what would Deku-kun do?") is very weird and seems based more in things he was told or saw in fiction than feelings he would have felt himself.

Yoarashi Inasa is just so fucking weird with friendships and social cues he looks like he's trying to navigate the world while making absolutely sure NO ONE misinterprets him, which makes him both very aro and very autistic in my book

Kurogiri is literally a bunch of mist with little free will whose purpose in life is protecting this one boy, he's all the As.

Endeavor married for insane reasons and never even cheated on Rei after he sent her to the hospital (which a lot of men his caliber would do)

Ms Joke makes the idea of dating Shouta a joke and I think that's great. She's also green.

Miruko's chill and doesn't give a fuck, she's a fighting person, very Katsuki-coded in that regard I fear. She also works alone without an agency, which is giving aromantic for no reason other than I Said So.

Toga Himiko is a queer allegory that is generally interpreted as bisexual and biromantic but I think she can be interpreted as aroallo as well (way to love that’s seen as impure and unholy etc etc, notions of consent – taking people’s blood and hurting them without their consent which is for her a way to show her love, most of her attraction seeming physical or aesthetic rather than romantic, her parents telling her to repress repress repress instead of satisfying her desires in a safe way, the scene where she’s biting her wrist in her sleep???? etc etc) 

Twice never had a lot of friends and never had a lot of female friends and when he feels gratefulness and care for Toga it outwardly seems romantic because he doesn’t know what’s romantic and what’s not and hasn’t had a lot of female friends 

Dabi is giving aromantic aplatonic who only really loves his family but due to circumstances can’t love them healthily and ends up just hating them (the most intense feelings of love he shows are always towards Enji or Natsuo, and his apology to Shouto makes me think Shouto is also included in this – no evidence for Fuyumi and Rei but I can do what I want. He clearly cares for Twice and Toga too but it presents very differently, even after he’s revealed himself and doesn’t need to be as secretive). 

Shigaraki Tomura probably just doesn’t give a shit I’d say. He’s pretty apathetic when he isn’t fighting or angry or like doing his hatred thing, but he clearly cares about his teammates. 

Fatgum is foodpilled and studentpilled. He really loves food and he really loves his students he doesn't need no romantic relationship.

Jirou Kyoka takes a bit to warm up to Denki so I think she's demiromantic actually

Bruce (the third user of One For All). He just has such third wheel vibes.

Intelli Saiko because why would she bother with romance, it's so unpractical and illogical

Despite asking for boys' numbers all the time and being very aware of romance, Utsushimi Camie looks like she could NOT CARE LESS. aro

The fact that Hawks plays up the flirting with his fans is giving aromantic to me – obviously heartbreaker aroallo stereotype but I think he could also be ace, the aroallo part isn’t that important, it’s just that he’s always pretending. It’s giving still in the closet. Also I know he’s young and busy and Horikoshi doesn’t really put that much casual romance in MHA but it’s so funny that there isn’t even a sliver of a girlfriend implied in his timeskip. Hawks is Married To His Job. 

Star and Stripe is also absolutely married to her job. Also, lots of guys around her, lots of important and admired male figures in her life, and yet not a single crush from her. Points. Aromantic lesbian 

Nezu is a fuckass mouse I highly doubt he's attracted to humans in any way

Gran Torino is a single old man which is enough for me (though because I hate that fucker I think it'd be funny if women just hated him)

Where Is Shimura Nana’s Husband. 

Muscular only likes to kill, he doesn’t need romance nor sex, his only desire is Killing People and fighting. Same thing for Moonfish, he only wants to eat people (mood my guy) 

Geten is very hyper focused on making his quirk stronger, he doesn’t seem to really have any relationships.

Overhaul just fucking hates people

Again, Kendo Rappa only cares about fighting.

So so sad because I like his girlfriend but Natsuo is giving marrying to get away from his father

Koda Koji just had the vibes. He's so aroace to me. (aro Koda brain vs kodajirou brain fight)

Monoma Neito is such a fucking hater he just has to be aromantic

Wash is a washing machine

Honorable mentions:

List of characters whose only argument is they never show romantic attraction and don't talk much about romance or get flustered: Shouji Mezo, Sato Rikido, Tokoyami Fumikage, Shinsou Hitoshi, Yaoyorozu Momo, Sero Hanta, Hado Nejire, Togata Mirio, Shirakumo Oboro, Present Mic, Seiji Shishikura, Ryukyu, Gang Orca, Shishido, Centipeder, Ectoplasm, Hound Dog, Thirteen, Vlad King, Mandalay, Tiger, Lady Nagant, Mr. Compress, Tsukauchi Naomasa, Todoroki Rei and Fuyumi, Melissa Shield.

List of characters whose only argument is "they're green so they're obviously aromantic": Asui Tsuyu, Ibara Shiozaki, Tokage Setsuna, Kamakiri Togaru, Midoriya Inko, Ragdoll, Burnin, the Sludge Villain (I’m taking all I can get), Mustard, Ordinary Woman.

Bonus: characters that I can't make aromantic no matter how hard I try under the cut:

Gentle and La Brava, for obvious reasons. I feel like making them not love each other is like illegal.

Kudo and Yoichi. By god my brain will not accept it they're in love.

Amajiki Tamaki. I'm sure he could be aromantic but I can't let go of the Mirio and Nejire crushes (which are so real and true to me)

Yuyu (Nejire's friend), she also looks way too much like she has a giant crush on Nejire. Lesbian moment.

Best Jeanist and Edgeshot, they're giving high school sweethearts.

I put them in honorable mentions but I just have to mention Gang Orca and Shishido somewhere because the one baseball OVA made me think they're like the pseudo-enemies/rivals who argue all the time but somehow fight extremely synchronized when needed and ONLY fight each other because they're the only ones Worth It etc which is. Y'know. eye emoji etc etc

Sir Nighteye is literally in love with All Might

David Shield is literally in love with All Might

No really did you see David's wife? This man went and found a blonde blue eyed wife when he couldn't marry his blonde blue eyed best friend. His daughter looks like an All Might secret love child. I know whenever Dave hears Melissa call All Might uncle he dies a little inside because he wishes she could call him Dad too and he could call Toshinori his darling husband and

Rock Lock is happily married and I could never take that away from him

Spinner is green so I can kind of see him as aro but he’s giving madly in love with Shigaraki so much

Magne has a crush on Dabi in one of the Smash strips which is too funny to ignore I think she’s madly in love with him. And she’s right

I like kirimina so fucking much I genuinely struggle to come up with aro Kirishima headcanons. I think he could be quoiromantic but I also think he’s madly in love with Mina so I don’t know. 

Stain is literally in love with All Might

Ending (guy who attacked Natsuo) is literally in love with Endeavor

Garaki Kyudai is literally in love with All For One (“I miss your eyes” guy is so fucking devoted. The true doomed yaoi of MHA)

I know Rody is in love with Izuku he just has to be. 

To me Shindo Yo also has a crush on Izuku but also he's canonically dating Nakagame Tatami which is also cute.

[ihopesocomic]

It's such a shame how many good brother-brother duos or sister-brother duos there are compared to sister-sister duos

I know it stems from writers always feeling the need to add a man in every woman's life

A lot of writers can only make a character who's a sister if she's a sister to a brother and it's a real shame

Honestly I think Nothing from MP is a pretty good example of that

Look at her relationship with her female siblings/cousin vs her male siblings/cousin

Fire ended up being horrible and Feather is a toxic positive "lemme make you feel bad for wanting to change your ableist name even though it literally doesnt effect me" dirtbag

But Nothing had a better relationship with vs her younger sisters/cousins

Farleap and Silentstalk bullied her and Feather's sisters thought she was weirdo though they like literally never interacted

It's just always suspicious when a writer seems to prioritize a female character's relationship with guys over her relationship with girls

Like their gender shouldn't matter but they'll always pick their male characters first

The sexism in writing still to this day is wild. Especially where so-called independent creators are concerned. Because I thought the whole point of being indie was creating stuff you wanted to see in mainstream media but didn't get, but a lot of it is just more of the same crap you get from bigger productions. So either people want more sexism, or its just baked into their brain and they don't even realize it.

A lot of better stories out there are about brothers (well, I could argue that a lot of it is lazy and that there is no point to the characters being brothers, especially when strong emotional friendships between men are practically nonexistent in media.) and anything having to do with sisters is as I said, either petty nonsense or there's no point to being sisters at all.

And then there's as you said, an inherent need by creators for women to have men be relevant in their lives when that same standard is not applied to men. You can throw a rock and hit a movie or show with a female pov where her only motivation has to do with a man. Father, son, brother, husband, boyfriend, abuser. Whatever.

That's not to say any of these are bad stories. But when its the majority of supposed woman-focused media, it loses its edge as woman-focused when the women in question are focused on men. The writers either consciously or subsconsciously don't get that women have motivations beyond men. This even happens with lesbian characters, where men should have even less relevancy? LOL And it doesn't even matter who the writers are, whether they're men/women, cis/trans, straight/gay, everyone does this. You'd expect better from queer creators but even then there's a clear preference. And they're wont to bring up that "gender shouldn't matter" but only when it pertains to asking why they're so opposed to women being the focus. Its quite interesting.

MP is in an interesting position of hating both men and women at the same time while not commenting on how the patriarchy has negative effects on both men and women. Not an easy feat but Tribble sure made it look easy. She made Feather Nothing's prime motivator for leaving the pride, and while I have my own criticisms of Nothing's "subtle" motherlyness towards Feather, that wasn't extended to the female cubs. Fire is Nothing's other motivation for leaving the pride, and then he turned out to be a wannabe dictator. Quickmane was shown to be a sympathetic and caring mate who definitely wasn't homophobic, but had no qualms about killing children. And then there's alllllll the women who are meant to be oppressed to the same extent as Nothing, but they all somehow manage to be even worse because the narrative wants us to side with them.

And even Nothing's abusive relationship with Quickmane as we've stated in our review is arguably less fucked up than the relationship she has with her own mother. Because we know what they think about each other, and Powerstrike still insists that Nothing's existence is a burden on her soul or whatever. Like what the fuck is up with that?? I'm sure they could've made Powerstrike less-bad than Quickmane, was this some sort of weird equalizer of the sexes? And you can count Nothing's relationship with Sharptongue if you're so inclined to, but even if you ignore everything else she did, Sharptongue would still be the only positive female influence in Nothing's life. But not a key motivator in Nothing's story. Like not even a little bit.

[spale-vosver]

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT A CHAPPELL ROAN HATE POST. I LOVE HER MUSIC AND HOPE SHE KEEPS MAKING IT

With that said, what sticks out to me most in her "I hate both sides, I'm so embarrassed" statement is that the communities who would be most harmed by a second Trump presidency -- queer people and POC -- are the same people from whom she takes creative inspiration, but she refuses to recognize or even acknowledge the real danger they are in.

It's obvious to the trained eye, but much of her stylistic choices are derived from drag , specifically drag queens (who are typically and who historically have been queer people of color, in particular Black people.)

Not convinced? Here's a picture of the famous drag queen Divine

And here's a picture of Chappell Roan

Chappell Roan is also incredibly successful; her album The Rise And Fall Of A Midwest Princess was the #1 best selling vinyl album in August, and she plays for massive crowds.

Meanwhile, the communities she takes inspiration from often aren't as lucky. Nearly half of Latino transgender adults live in poverty, and about 40% of Black transgender adults live in poverty . Of the 59 transgender people murdered in hate crimes in 2022, 83% of them were people of color, and 54% were Black transgender women.

(This is absolutely not to deny that white cis queer people face harassment -- on the contrary, Roan herself has faced catcalling, stalking, and now has to employ a security team; in her own words, "so lame*. I'm incredibly glad she has security, but also recognize that being able to have security against stalking is in itself a privilege. I digress.)

Now, back to the dangers of a Trump presidency for these communities: I'm sure many of you have heard of Project 2025/whatever they're calling it now, but the tl;dr is that it's a several hundred page document that outlines how Trump should use his second presidency to transform America into an autocratic Christian nationalist state. Not good. You can read it for yourself here. Trump has, multiple times, claimed that he has no idea what it is, but he's very close with several of the key organizers, and, given his track record, is probably lying out his ass.

Among the many horrifying things included in this document (total abortion bans, mass deportation, etc) are plans to completely gut trans rights in the United States, including cutting Medicare funding from hospitals who provide gender-affirming care to adolescents. It would also outlaw "transgender ideology" and provide federal funding for research on anti-trans conversion therapy.

Anyone, anyone could see that a Trump presidency would be absolutely disastrous for trans rights if any of these policies are passed.

But Chappell Roan, the well-off, white, cis Midwesterner?

She's "so embarrassed" by what's going on and "doesn't have a side", effectively throwing the very people whose labor she built her career on under the bus for...what? Leftist virtue signaling? Self-soothing?

Sure, she dedicated her VMA win to them for "fueling pop" , but a dedication won't protect them from hate crimes, or put food on the table, or prevent anti-trans legislation.

And maybe I'm not the right person to say all this, as I'm a white trans man, but it feels very transactional -- I take your culture and get famous, then you don't get my material support because I'm, like, so embarrassed by the neolibs.

Idk. Much to think about.

[sevensoulmates]

Season 7 Press Article Buddie Analysis

Okay I don't usually write meta/spec on press runs/articles but I found these super fascinating today, especially in comparison to how the showrunners (including Tim himself) and the actors have spoken about their arcs in the past.

First I want to say that in these interviews the goal is never actually to give the audience any important information but rather to tease, and purposely be as vague as possible. So most of what they're saying will likely have double meanings and all of them are being extremely careful with the words they choose to say. Now with that out of the way in the first EW article (linked here), I found several things extremely interesting.

Calling Marisol Eddie's "Hardware store flirtation". It's so funny to me, for one, but it's also interesting that that's all she's reduced to. A flirtation. I know that was really all they were in the last season, but we know Marisol's involved (likely minorly) in at least 2 episodes out of the first 5. Natalia on the other hand is for the most part understood to not be coming back (I would honestly be surprised given the actress is in NYC). But what's even more interesting is that Marisol is not mentioned anywhere else in either of these articles, meanwhile Oliver WAS asked about Natalia. So, I want people to keep in mind that in whatever way Marisol IS a part of this season, I SEVERELY doubt she's making it past the finale.

2. This answer about Natalia is your typical non-answer but to me, it's basically a confirmation she isn't coming back, which lends a tad bit more credibility to Tommy potentially stepping in as a LI for Buck (fingers crossed).

3. Buck is apparently called in to help talk to Christopher about dating women. Do I even really have to talk about how weird this sounds? Eddie had a whole WIFE? He dated Ana for many many months. He's currently dating hardware store flirtation Marisol right now. And yet, Ryan is claiming that Eddie feels like he doesn't know how to talk to his son about women? Enough so that he calls Buck to help? Talking to your kid about dating is a new avenue yes, but why are we acting like Eddie has never been with a woman before? Like I know last season in particular emphasized that Eddie isn't the best when it comes to dating but like ??? I swear to GOD y'all it's giving such severe compulsory heterosexuality. Eddie, my man, I hope this is indicative of where your story is going this season because it's been heading this way for many many many years. Separately, I also find the lack of mention of Shannon very interesting as well.

4. Which brings me to this part. The whole family dynamic aside...Buck's romantic relationships have been severely questionable at best the entire show. Before Abby, it's canon that all Buck did was sleep around a lot, which doesn't seem like something you wanna tell a young teen dating for the first time. So what's he gonna talk about? How women flee him? As I saw someone else say on the timeline "are the successful relationships in the room with us"? This is especially odd if the spec is true and he and Natalia broke up off-screen prior to the start of the season. Eddie, you just saw Buck have yet another failed relationship with woman #4 and your thought is that HE'S the one best suited to talk to your son? These two men are so queer and so dumb, but their hearts are in the right place.

Okay, moving on to EW article #2 linked here. Here I'm shifting a little bit more to Tim Minear, and what he's said before in the past as showrunner about Buck, Eddie, the buddifer dynamic and the buddie ship.

I have a love-hate relationship with Tim. On one hand, I think he's a far better showrunner than Kristen (for OG 911, 911 Lonestar does and always will suck ass). But on the other hand, I remember some of the things he said back when season 2 was airing. It's part of the reason why I can't take things like "he's so cute. he gets that a lot" or "does this boycrush on eddie mean you're over abby" or "you two have an adorable son" or any Big Buddie fanservice line in season 2 seriously or as any definitive proof of anything. Tim has openly admitted most of those were in season 2 to throw shippers a bone. Not to be taken seriously. And that didn't sit right with me. Very obviously, there was a shift in season 3 and no longer was buddie and shippers the butt of the joke. Season 3 is when I genuinely think the writers and Tim shifted from "haha this is funny" to "oh wait, maybe there IS something here" and obviously The Powers That Be (Fox) had some control over whether or not that happened and is honestly why I think it didn't happen in season 5 or 6 where it realistically could've fit very well after s4.

So firstly, please take everything I say with a grain of salt because Tim is a Known Liar and Word Twister and is very VERY good at saying a lot while absolutely saying nothing at all.

5. So...I find what he says in this article interesting because it's not in the first article. First, his word choice is very interesting. Using both "friendship" and "coupling" in the same sentence, which have two different connotations. Secondly, he says that "at their core" their relationship is about their friendship. When something is the core of something else, that doesn't mean that's all there is. The core may be the essence, or the foundation, or the glue of something. But it is something that is BUILT UPON, something that extends past the core. To me, it means that while the core of buddie's relationship is their friendship, their relationship encompasses much more than that. It's like those successful old married couples who say the key to being married happily for 50+ years is that "we're still best friends" or that "the key to a successful romantic relationship is having that foundation of strong friendship" etc. Now, I'm not SAYING this means canon buddie, but I just find it interesting that this is how Tim chose to describe them this time around. To me, that says Tim is very much aware that there's far more to be explored in their relationship than just their friendship. Whether that means far more buddifer family arcs, or an actual real exploration of Buck and Eddie as a romantic couple, I'm very excited to see where it goes.

[forestdeath1]

Sirius’s early maturity as a result of family views and traditions. Romantic and sexual behaviour

18+

First of all, I'd like to leave a link to this meta by @artemisia-black so I don't have to write the same things that are already covered. The part about boundaries is especially important.

Next, I'll add my perspective.

1. Most likely, Sirius couldn't be a playboy or casanova due to the social organisation of their society + his personal attitude towards boundaries of other people, including women, as described in the post above.

2. However, that doesn't say much about his sexuality and romantic behavior.

More likely JKR wanted to make him straight and prone to non-committed relationships, but canon itself says nothing about his sexuality and I think everyone can read him as they want. Honestly, I personally don't care who Sirius is sleeping with/not sleeping with in people’s HCs. I care about his personality, and his sexuality doesn't change anything about his canon characterisation, so I don't particularly see the point in arguing about his sexuality (straight/gay/bi/ace/whatever) with foam at the mouth. (And he is not queer coded.)

But there is some interesting things that I’d like to discuss.

1. First of all, why the playboy/casanova version seems the most untenable to me, besides what was written in the post above?

A bit about the school and society:

In my opinion, for the WW, it's quite illogical for a student to have a large number of sexual partners. Firstly, with whom? In some fanfics, Sirius finds a new partner almost every week and fucks someone every night. Where does he find so much time for casual sex at school/during the war and where do so many people wanting casual sex come from? No matter how handsome Sirius might be, not all girls and boys are willing to have casual sex. Most people want relationships, not casual sex.

So in my view, if in your headcanon Sirius never got out into the Muggle world of the 1970s, then he couldn't have had a large number of casual sexual partners at least in school, although the playboy reputation could have been there. To have that reputation, you don't need to do anything, just being charismatic and attractive. Reputation often precedes the person. Maybe that's why Remus said 'he always got the women'. They just paid attention to him. But if we consider the WW, especially the school, there's simply nowhere to get 'many partners' from.

2. Ignoring a girl as evidence of a certain sexuality.

The fact that Sirius ignored girls' glances at him doesn't say anything concrete. But it's often cited as an argument in favour of his homosexuality and/or asexuality.

But in reality, it can be interpreted in any way. As asexuality/homosexuality or simply as a demonstration that he really was attractive to many people, but Sirius himself, accustomed to such attention, no longer paid attention to the constant attention to him. When a person knows his attractiveness from his youth, he will not pay attention to every flirtation or every person who looks at him with lust. Often such attention can even be annoying.

Also, this character was probably well aware of his attractiveness and could see it in other people. The comments about Snape are very vivid. If appearance is not at all part of a person's values and they doesn’t pay attention to appearance, then a person is unlikely to insult someone based on their appearance - it’s usually a blind-spot. But attractive appearance, given by nature, are often seen as something that can't be taken away, it's always with you, and so the attitude is simple — if you can't wash your hair, fine, it's not that important. And knowing about his attractiveness and constantly receiving a lot of attention from other people – the value of this attention diminishes. A person just no longer pays attention to it.

That’s why he might have simply ignored the girl who was looking at him with interest (who had been studying with him and probably had been looking at him with interest for more than a day).

3. The age of consent. Early maturity. TW Underage.

The age of consent in the Muggle UK is 16 years old. And in the WW, people become adults earlier, at 17. However, Pollux became a father at 13. Cygnus became a father at 13. What was the age of consent? When did they get married? Was there even a concept of age of consent in the wizarding world? Perhaps their age of consent was 12 (given that in 1275, the first age of consent was set in England, at age 12 and only in 1875, the Offences Against the Person Act raised the age to 13 in Great Britain and Ireland, and the International Statute of Secrecy was signed in 1689, it's possible that wizards are still stuck with laws from that time). Or maybe Pollux and Cygnus got married later. For example, at 15 (17-2). Or maybe they have no concept of age of consent at all and there is no prohibition on marriage before reaching legal age, so they could get married whenever they wanted. Considering that marriages are magically contracted without the involvement of authorities, this option seems viable.

I'm not here to judge fictional characters, I'm discussing facts from the canon. There is every reason to believe that for some families in the WW, "maturity" came much earlier than it does for us now, and it wasn't nonsense. Rather, it was casual liaisons that were condemned as something that could cause unwanted pregnancies. But not marriage and sex itself before the age of 17.

Even in our time and in our society "an estimated 55% of teens have had sexual intercourse by age 18". These percentages have gradually declined since 1988 when 51 per cent of female and 60 per cent of male teens have ever had sex".

Your right to consider this something bad and refuse to write/speak about it, but it was, is, and always will be a part of teenage life, and judging by the Blacks, in the WW, the attitude towards this was quite... "old-fashioned", if it concerned marriage and childbearing.

I am inclined to believe that it was the Blacks who had this attitude towards early marriage and early childbirth, and therefore towards early sex, BUT not casual sex, because nobody wanted unwanted pregnancy.

And this could have influenced Sirius's attitude towards himself, his sexuality, and how mature he considered himself. Sorry, but when your grandfather became a father at 13, as did your uncle... well, you definitely look at growing up a little differently. He put up Muggle posters too because his parents were annoyed not by the fact that he was a 14-15 year old thinking about sex (although he might not have thought about it at all, he just knew it would piss his mum off), but by the fact that he was thinking about sex with mudbloods, which horrified his parents.

Just imagine what must be going through the mind of a 14-15 year old who decided to piss his parents off. What would James do? Well, paint the room red. Put dung bombs on the head of everyone who walked in. What did Sirius do? Erotic posters (women in swimming costumes are erotic posters to their world).

In my opinion, this says a lot about all the Blacks and the fact that they have some peculiarities in their family dynamics. Where did he even get the idea for this, if Sirius and the Blacks were innocent in their attitude towards teenage sex and growing up? I can totally see them yelling at him after these posters 'if you get someone pregnant, you'll really regret it!'.

The posters themselves don't say anything about Sirius's real intentions or his sexuality – he could have just put them up to piss her mother off, knowing that it would annoy her, or he himself might have liked them.

Meanwhile, James and his parents probably had a different dynamic, and they probably treated James as a child for much longer. So James matured sexually in his mind later. His parents probably didn't even talk about such things. And considering that they went to a conservative school, then further than kissing for him at 15 was probably not even a topic, if they even got to kissing.

Most likely, Sirius's 'early maturity' and all these posters are exactly the result of intra-family traditions and views.

4. It's confirmed by Word of God that he didn't have a girlfriend, but…

If we consider only the books as canon, then we don't know anything about his girlfriend/boyfriend, and he could have had some romantic relationships, because the canon itself doesn't say anything about it.

But I'll specifically analyze the case with 'Word of God':

Well, Sirius never had time to get a girlfriend, let alone marry.

Sirius was too busy being a big rebel to get married.

This means only one thing: he didn't give any commitments. That's it. It doesn't mean anything more than that. He could have had no partners at all, meaning he could have been focused only on friendship. Or he could have had a sexual partner (of any gender) without commitments. One or more. Who mutually wanted this. And these relationships didn't take up much of his time.

Non-committal relationships can be with sufficient respect for the partner. This doesn't make the character a Casanova/Playboy/fuckboy.

In the monoromantic concept of serious relationships, respect for the partner is often perceived only within the context of monoromantic relationships. But that’s not the only option. In non-committal relationships, there can also be a lot of respect for the other person's boundaries because the person isn't lying about their attitude (unwillingness to have a serious relationship), does not pile on false promises and usually does not confess eternal love. But playboys and casanovas can often lie to get someone into bed.

The view on purity and filth is very interesting, but in my opinion, purity for the Blacks is conceptually not the same purity as for the upper class in the Muggle world raised in a Christian reverent tradition. Purity is primarily 'noble blood.' To be pure is to be noble, and Sirius has his own understanding of nobility, not based on blood purity. For him, honor and nobility mean being loyal to friends, being honest, not betraying, and that's why he uses epithets of impurity for Peter. Peter lacks nobility.

As I said, having one/several partners without commitments doesn't automatically make the character a playboy and casanova – in other words, it's not about the Erot of perverted Aphrodite – people who love only the body, not the inner world (seeing people as objects, ignoring the person as a whole).

So, taking into account the Word of God, I actually see only two options.

He didn't have sexual relationships at all/tried it and didn't like it/ wasn't interested/ found it not very interesting or just was more focused on his friends and other things in his life.

Or the second option – he had non-committal relationships, which were always based on respect for the partner, but it was never like 'my girlfriend/boyfriend,' more like sexually-friendly relationships where he treated his partner not just as an object for sex but as a person.

The third option, if we discard the Word of God – he could have had regular monogamous romantic relationships of any nature with any gender, as there's nothing in the canon about his sexuality.

As I said, I don't think it fundamentally changes anything about his characterisation, so no matter what his sexuality is, he should retain his canon personality traits.

[meyerlansky]

it's an ongoing thing that i probably won't dig too much into in anything textually, maybe in cruiseverse and even less likely but still maybe in summertime, but i do have thinkythoughts about how curt and bucky handle being queer in the framework of their catholicism

gale not on the discussion board here because, while he has angst about his queerness and especially what it means wrt his [and others'] masculinity, it is in no way religious and i maintain he is three bad days away from open atheism despite the HUGE social stigma against it at the time. abused kids tend not to be much for religion anyway.

like i acknowledge how i handle curt is slightly anachronistic [though i can cite contemporary examples, don't come at me about it] in that i don't think he's ashamed of ANYTHING. careful, yes, aware it could get him hurt, yes. but he doesn't have a lot of internalized homophobia weighing him down by '43, thanks to growing up in an active queer hub in the 20s/30s AND my decision to make his family, mostly his mom, similarly slightly-anachronistically accepting—see the stuff in this post about mothers in midcentury america accepting their queer sons and encouraging other mothers to do the same. and i think that "toughened by adversity" is particularly relevant in delphia's case because on top of raising a fairly large family through the great depression, she lost an infant daughter AND her husband when all her kids were under ten years old. she did suffer the public humiliations of the depression in sending her sons to live with relatives to ease the burden of SAID fairly large, half-orphaned family. so she doesn't CARE if curt's gay, all that matters to her is that curt is—and all her kids are—alive and healthy and happy. [plus, in "practical" terms, curt has a brother, so if he's not gonna have kids rusty's around to do it, which is a safety net the other guys do not have.]

bucky, on the other hand, is 93% shame at all times. about everything. he covers it with being loud and brash and seeming unrepentant but. c'mon. look at him. he's got catholic guilt dripping off him. he does NOT have supportive family to lean back on and to insulate him from the general antipathy towards queerness in midcentury america—he doesn't even get letters from his mom or sisters in the stalag in canon. plus he has the added angst of like... he's bi, not gay, so he likes women like he's supposed to, does that not make his attraction to men something he just has to Resist, because that's what the devil does, puts shit in your path that you have to avoid to stay good or whatever. if he was exclusively attracted to men—like curt—it might bother him less because he wouldn't have a "choice." so he's got both internalized queerphobia in general and SPECIFICALLY internalized biphobia working against him.

[the other issue i have with thinking about this stuff is i was not raised catholic or even a little bit religious at all, so i don't have a firsthand perspective on rationalizing queerness with faith. i am just WINGING IT HERE.]

but, anyway, i feel like bucky's isolation from semi-normalized queerness just compounds the issue for his whole adolescence/early adulthood, and he lumps being attracted to men in with his other rule-breaking behaviors. he drinks, he gambles, he lusts, it's all getting him sent to hell anyway, so he acts like it doesn't bother him. but i think it DOES bother him, deep down. and i also think that being faced with curt/people like curt, who DON'T see their queerness as an obstacle to keeping their faith, who don't experience the guilt and shame over that as a fundamental aspect of who they are, is... tough for him? and this is why i don't think it'll come up textually in anything except cruiseverse, if that: bucky is not a talk-shit-out kind of guy, and quite frankly neither is curt. but i can't imagine that bucky at some point isn't like "...don't you struggle with it?" and curt's like "nah, if He wanted me to be different i'd be different."

and bucky just kinda has to chew on that for a bit. and this is where i think the gay vs bi tension comes in, because curt CAN be like "i tried to be straight, it didn't work, so god must not want me to be," whereas bucky COULD choose to be in a het-passing relationship, so does that make him worse??? and that's when curt stops trying that tack because it's doing more harm than good, which leads to it turning into "but HOW does it not bother you?" "it only bothers you 'cause you're letting it." cue another blue-screen for a week.

they can't even extrapolate out the concept of receiving unconditional love as one of god's children the way you do from your actual parents or whatever. because no one in bucky's life loves him unconditionally. why the hell would god?

[karenandhenwilson]

Let's talk about Tommy and Buck.

I would have wished, of course, for Buck to have his first date with a man to go more smoothly. But we already knew from the promo to expect some drama. And I have to say at least for once it wasn't over-the-top drama that might ruin any characters as it happened several times in the past.

I suffered a lot of secondhand embarrassment the first time watching the date because of Buck's nervousness and his helpless stammering before and also when Eddie showed up. I clasped my hands over my ears and flinched when Eddie eventually interrupted the date and Buck started blurting out this nonsense about going on to pick up women.

The thing is, as much of a knee-jerk reaction that was, it was also so very believable, and at a guess, I'd say there are many bisexual people out there who did have a very similar knee-jerk reaction at one point or another while figuring themselves out. I know I had such a moment.

In the conversation before Eddie shows up, we learn that Buck hasn't even really come out to himself yet. He is on a date with a man and keeps calling himself an ally. It needs, in fact, his sister to call him that he is not just an ally, for him to get it. 

The basketball game was on a Thursday, and I think we can assume from the way Tommy worded his question after the kiss that the date was Saturday two days later. From everything Buck does and says in 7x05 he really hasn't even started yet to work through any kind of realization about himself.

We also shouldn't forget that it wasn't only Eddie interrupting the date. There was also Marsol who I suspect is as much a stranger to Buck as she is to us. So he doesn't know who he is himself yet and suddenly sees himself in this situation of possibly having to explain himself not only to his best friend but also as a virtual stranger.

Of course, there was no reason to explain anything. But that's not what that kind of situation feels like. I think many of us queer people (and not only the bisexual people!) know exactly what kind of situation that is like when we feel for whatever reason that we have to explain ourselves for something as simple as who we are attracted to or not attracted to. It's an uncomfortable and intimidating situation.

So, I really believe that Buck's reaction here is one of the most true and honest things we have ever seen on the show. As uncomfortable as the secondhand embarrassment is, I think it's such an important scene to have to have out there.

Then there is Tommy's reaction to it. Tommy, who has been so very gentle and careful and understanding of Buck. Who shared with Buck a little bit about his own self-discovery, how he didn't dare to live freely for a long time. Who remained calm and gentle despite Buck's faux pas.

I think, if Buck hadn't blurted out this line about how they were planning to pick up some women later in the evening, Tommy would have been completely fine with whatever was said to Eddie and Marisol. I think he made it clear during the coffee date that he is completely okay with giving Buck whatever time he needs to figure himself out. That he is okay with them dating being kept on the down low, but that he draws the line as being a dirty secret Buck feels ashamed of.

And that is a line he has every right to draw. It doesn't take away anything from the support and gentleness he offered Buck. It doesn't diminish that at all. I think it's another very honest reaction, too, no matter how much any viewer might hurt for Buck when Tommy declares the date over and tells Buck he thinks Buck might not be ready.

Could he have communicated about it in a better way? Sure. But that's the expected TV drama.

I also think, for the character development of Buck, it was so very important that the ball was in Buck's corner after Tommy had led the whole of their interactions from the moment he came over to Buck's apartment until the moment he ended the date. Because this way, Buck had to show not only Tommy but also the audience that he isn't just there for the emotional discovery he is taken on, but that he is willing and ready to dive into it head first on his own accord no matter how confused he is.

The ball was in Buck's corner and he decided (after a little push from Eddie) that he sees something that's worth exploring in his relationship with Tommy. Something that's worth taking a risk for (even if he might have overshot by inviting Tommy to the wedding, but that's once more TV drama and just the next big thing happening on the show.)

I'm super happy with the storyline we got and I can only thank everyone, especially Tim and Oliver and Lou, that they did what Tim promised in one of the interviews and took so, so much care with this storyline. Generally, I don't trust the show writers because they disappointed so often (and did again in parts of this episode with the choices they made for the HenRen storyline), but in this, they gave us something truly precious and I'm so looking forward to seeing where they are taking Tommy and Buck next.

[wraithdance]

thank you for that amazing dating guide.

"A lot of dating coaches are parroting language/behaviors PROFESSIONAL sex workers use for working and that’s dangerous to not understand"

as someone who isn't even aware of what a dating coach is (????) can you share bit more bout this? no need to if you don't want to tho

I had a whole eloquent reply written but tumblr ate half of it smfh. I tried to edit it this down for readability but it's still hella long and doesn't capture the point I wanna make totally.

so if anyone is interested I can write an accompanying paper with my current class thesis to explain further with academic links in MLA format lmao.

(This is based off of cis hetero dating only because it impacts queer dating which is another beast I can't cover rn)

TLDR: sex workers have an understanding of the dangers of using a man as a trick/cash out that lover girls who listen to shera7 without critical analysis do not. That's dangerous because when you're male centered in dating you are a doormat and when using sex work theories as your basis you are prey for a predator (a cis man) who knows the game (patriarchy) better than you do.

you may or may not have noticed a shift in language towards women who are not sexually explorative 'freaks' and the teasing of those who happen to get played by a man.

Tiktok dating coaches have popped up to give heartbroken women hope in a world where they too, can get a man to cash out and live a soft life after dealing with a dusty. in the same vein Trad wife's who make baking and birthing children look fun have also popped up. (As a disclaimer I really don't care what ppl do with their lives I just like to understand the psycho/social aspect of human nature and there's an analysis on both I can't expound on rn because the length of this reply is crazy already)

as someone who very much so believes in sexual agency, taking money from a man if he plans to waste my time and actively dabbles in kink/sex work (Also got groomed on the internet when the whole 'I wanna be a sugar baby' tumblr bullshit happened in early 2013), I have to point out the hypocrisy of the dating coaches/women who hate 'sluts' who use the terminology and ideas of working sluts.

As the economy goes to shit and people lose hope over having property or living the 'american dream', we are going to see a steady rise of both red pill theory and trad wife ideology and its sister 'the man eater heart of gold who is liberated but not TOO liberated and gets flown out to miami'.

This is because people day dream about 'the good days' of the 50s or whatever fucking era in order to come to terms with the fact they can't afford toothpaste. What did the 50's and previous eras have besides dirt cheap housing? Strict gender dynamics that described a woman's 'rightful' place

Male centered people are going to cling to either the virgin madonna or whore frameworks of past to make sure they get a good seat at the table with a man because that's what those under gender socialization are taught to do.

You might argue 'oh how do you know its not what they want!! You're being judgmental!!' and I will say back, I know because if you have no desire to perform a certain metric if there's not a man to acknowledge or praise you then most likely you are doing this for someone else.

The main reason I point this out is that its created a shift that tightens the constraints of misogyny on two fronts for so many women and will continue to only work to demonize sex workers and the 'undesirables.'

I watched women who slut shamed anyone who didn't keep a penny between their knees transform over night to wear fishnets and poster girl dresses while singing megan thee stallion. We can say this was a personal growth period for them but if you asked them what they thought about strippers or even insinuate they looked like they got a trick they'd freak out.

Then on the other hand you get the people who think they know everything about sex work because of the city girls or Shera7, who don't understand those women are speaking directly to the women who de-centered men and don't want love they want monetary security only (which me core <3)

when lover girls start saying sprinkle sprinkle and don't do research or internal work she will fall for the trap of any man who gives her the time of day. a fattened prey to a predator the game was designed for! That is dangerous because that's how people end up in ditches or in abusive cycles. Its what makes sex work an incredibly dangerous job that requires a lot of research and precautions that people don't want to acknowledge out of purity culture/religious persecution. That's why I wrote my dating advice post the way I did to give a reality check as much as I could. You have to know the game!!

So yeah I got tired of typing so hope this makes sense to why I mentioned it in my dating post idk

[melonteee]

Okay am I crazy or did Oda ACTUALLY write most of the straw hats (and most other characters in One Piece tbh) to be very heavily queer coded?? Like I feel so happy watching this series because of how INSANELY queer it is. Like ESPECIALLY nami for example being heavily hinted at for being a lesbian like i genuinely was expecting a kiss from her and vivi 😳 but then any time I mention it on tiktok or anywhere else, people are like "NO WAY NO WAY NAMI IS SO OBVIOUSLY STRAIGHT WEHHHHHH!!" Like...I reeeeally hope that oda doesn't do a naruto and put all the women with a man at the end just..because. Like I genuinely hope he wrote them that way ON PURPOSE 😭 like I had no idea that a lot of the straights actually ship nami with luffy??? Like not to hate on others ships or anything but ehhhhh?? Like I guess people don't understand the difference between sibling and romantic tension?? Or does the hot girl just HAVE to get with the hero at the end?? I truly despise that trope 😭 and I know that oda said no relationships between the strawhats (let's be real, he ships frobin I see you oda lol) but I hope he doesn't side with dude bros on these kinds of things is all I ask. Because that would be suuuuper disappointing 😞

lol Oda famously does his own thing, he made Gear 5 goofy because he was sick of writing serious fights. He literally said something along the lines of "I know most stories have the power up be serious, but I don't want that. I want One Piece and Luffy to stay fun."

I have no idea if Oda intentionally queer coded his characters, but I do know he wouldn't care how we interpret them. He's said before that he thinks freedom of interpretation of his characters is great, so whether intentional or not, we at least know he wouldn't have some vendetta against it.

But what I DO know is whenever I see Shonen bros think One Piece is gonna follow regular Shonen tropes, I always have to laugh cause One Piece constantly doesn't do what they want it to do. Gear 5 was a disappointment to a lot of shonen bros cause they wanted it to be a scary cool Luffy, but instead it was a Tom and Jerry cartoon. No one can ever say what the hell Oda's gonna do because at this point in time, he can do whatever he wants. I can't ever see him following what's conventional for a shonen, like I will genuinely be shocked if he ends it with everyone getting married and having kids because 'that's what a shonen is'.

Like, this is One Piece. Why does anyone think it'll fit itself into the Shonen box exclusively, especially by the very end lmao