#he didn't know he had a fascination with them

[nick-writes-stuff]

Special Delivery

Hwang In-ho x gn!reader

summary: After Dae-ho goes into shock, you decide to take the ammo out to the rebelling players. You witness your closest ally turn on the other players, but after you are injured, he proves his loyalty to you. (~5k words)

!warnings: canon-typical violence, seriously injured reader, mentions of PTSD, swearing, use of y/n

---

As your friends started planning to overpower the guards, you couldn't help but feel nervous. While you believed in the cause, you just had a bad feeling that this wasn't going to go the way they hoped. When the group split apart after Gi-hun's presentation of his plan for the upcoming brawl, you found yourself sitting next to Young-il. You tried to ignore your heart leaping every time your shoulders touched, no matter how fleeting.

“What do you make of all of this?” He asked you.

You sighed with a shrug. “I don't know. I think it's a worthwhile fight, but it won't be an easy one.” You said. You glanced over at him. "And you?" You asked.

He nodded slightly. “I don't know either. We tried so hard to make it through the games, so going out there and risking our lives feels like we're throwing it all away.” He said.

You paused for a moment. “I could give you the lecture of ‘It's for the good of the people’ but that's bullshit.” You said.

He turned and looked at you, surprise evident on his face.

You turned to look at him. You spoke with a serious tone. “You don't have to do this, you know?” He stared at you for a moment. “You can say no.”

He shook his head. “I can't just abandon them like that. That's hardly what a good friend would do”

“You have every right to value your own safety over the good of the people, so deciding not to help doesn't make you a bad person. ” You said softly. “It's your choice.”

He sighed. This conversation was fascinating to him when he considered his position. Would you still say that if you knew who he really was?

After a moment of silence, you looked back over to him. “I won't think of you any differently if you decide not to help stop the games.” You said softly.

His breath caught in his throat as he turned to you. He was suddenly aware of your proximity to him. His eyes landed on your lips, but before anything could happen, he heard the commotion coming out of the hall that led to the bathrooms.

He leaned back a bit before clearing his throat. You felt your cheeks flush, but you didn't say anything. You made your way to where your alliance was typically placed and crawled under the bed.

As this plan continued to unfold, you got increasingly more nervous about how good of an idea this was. You knew that some of them had military experience, but this seemed like an uneven fight. What were a dozen starving, sleep deprived players with limited ammo going to do to take down the small militia carrying out these games?

Before they left, you took a step toward them. “Good luck out there.” You said. Your eyes scanned the group before landing on Young-il. “Come back here safe, alright?” You were both speaking to the group and him specifically. He smiled slightly, giving you a nod before following the rest out.

You stood still there for a moment, but you eventually sat on a bed near Jun-hee. She was really the only one you knew who was still in the room. You've talked to some of the others before, but she was the only one you really felt safe around. You would be screwed if none of them returned. All of your allies were in danger. You'd be left alone.

Even outside of the strategic aspect, you didn't think you would be able to get over their deaths. How could you? Especially Young-il. That first night after Red Light Green Light when neither of you could sleep, it cemented him as your closest friend here.

And you tried to hide it as much as possible, but your feelings for him had grown more than platonic. You knew it was stupid to let yourself catch feelings while in a death game. You mentally scolded yourself every time you felt butterflies in your stomach whenever he laughed at a joke you made. You pretended you didn't feel sparks fly anytime you accidentally touched him. When he grabbed your hand during Mingle, you felt like you could faint.

The only thing that made you hesitate was the fact that he later used that hand to break a man's neck right in front of you.

He knew what was happening despite your attempts to hide it. He found it fascinating, but he couldn't lie and deny that the feeling wasn't mutual. It would be hypocritical to call you naive when he was in the same boat. He had come into the games to watch over Gi-hun and learn more about what makes the man tick, but he found something that intrigued him even more. You.

Maybe it was twisted for him to say, but he was very curious about how you would react when you thought he was dead. And that thought led him to consider finding a way to let you live. But what would you do if you found out he was pulling the strings?

You didn't know what to feel right now. You wanted to be hopeful, but you couldn't quell the feeling that something was going to go wrong. That feeling only grew when you saw Dae-ho rush into the room. He was trembling, fumbling around in the pockets of the deceased guards. You stood up, moving toward him. “Dae-ho, what's going on?” You asked.

He stumbled over his words, hardly getting out a coherent sentence. You thought you heard something about ammunition, and your assumption was confirmed when he shakily grabbed a magazine. You turned back toward Yong-sik and his mother. “Can you guys help gather their magazines?” You asked. Dae-ho stammered out a word of thanks for your help.

The four of you gathered all of the ammo the guards had on their person. It wasn't much at all, definitely less than 20 magazines. It would help a bit, but this seemed like it wasn't going to be enough. Geum-ja had the idea of wrapping them up in his jacket to make a makeshift bag. She said something about having to do that back in the war. You couldn't really focus on her words as Dae-ho ran back to the hall. You took a deep breath before going back to your spot.

You didn't get to stay there that long. He ran back into the room with his hands over his ears. You grimaced, knowing he was probably reliving memories he'd rather forget. But then it hit you that he never delivered the ammo. They needed that ammo desperately.

Despite your better judgment, you got up from your spot, heading for the door.

“Where are you going?” Geum-ja called out.

You looked back at her. “They need that ammo.” You said. You left the room before you could change your mind.

You saw the radio, but you left it there. You wouldn't know how to work one anyway. You found the ammo where he dropped it. You wrapped it back up and started walking into the unknown.

You quickly noticed the broken security cameras, likely Hyun-ju's doing. You followed them and the sound of the gunshots. It made you nervous that you were running into danger, but you couldn't help but imagine how grateful Young-il would be when you brought it to him. The way the lines around his eyes would crease when he smiled.

You stopped yourself from continuing the thought. Daydreaming would get you killed out here.

You didn't see any guards on the way. You didn't know if that was a good or a bad sign. You did eventually find Hyun-ju and the others. Well, some of them.

She looked shocked to see you. “Y/N? What are you doing? Where's Dae-ho?” She asked. She was glad you got here in one piece but she was somewhat shocked at the poor decision making that led to you coming here unarmed.

“Dae-ho is out of commission. I think he's having a PTSD episode.” You said. From what you had gathered, Dae-ho's time in the Marines wasn't exactly a good one. She gave you a knowing look. You set out the magazines on the floor. One of the men came to start distributing the ammo. They got 2 clips each, if that.

You looked around at the people she had left. “Where's everyone else?” You asked. Your heart dropped to your stomach, but you were somewhat relieved by her words.

“456 and 390 ran up ahead a while ago to try to find a control room. They got pinned out there. Young-il and two others went to try to help them.” She said. You tried to hide your instinctive wince upon hearing that. Did he really have to go out and play the hero?

“Do they still need ammo?” You asked.

She nodded. “Yeah, I can run it out to them.” She said.

“Maybe you should stay here. You guys are the last line of defense to the others.” You offered.

She chuckled lightly, but she was definitely confused. “And what are you suggesting?” She asked.

You shrugged. “I could take it.”

She shook her head. “Hell no. That would be a suicide mission, especially without a gun.”

“Who said I wouldn't take a gun?” You countered. Unfortunately, there were a few downed allies among them. Their guns lay next to them without their magazines.

You really didn't want to take the gun.

“Have you ever held a gun before?”

You shook your head. “I could still take one. How hard could it be?”

She looked very annoyed by your statement. She knew there would be no use arguing with you. “I'm not giving you a gun, but if you want to run in there blind and unarmed, I'm not gonna stop you. I'll at least make sure you have some cover.” She leaned down and pulled a few magazines for herself before gesturing to you to take the rest. As you scooped up the rest of the ammo, she yelled “Covering Fire!”

You dashed your way across the balcony they were shooting from. You eventually made it into a set of hallways in a different design scheme than the stairs. You hoped that was a sign that you were on the right track.

And you were on the right track. You could tell because they had made a trail of dead guards, bloody footprints, and broken security cameras.

You were surprised that there weren't more guards out and about. They seemed innumerable every other time you saw them. During Mingle, there had to be 100 guards at least helping to carry out the game. It made you a bit suspicious, but you didn't have much time to think about that.

The sounds of gunfire got louder and louder until you saw movement down a corridor. You stopped to peek out from the corner. You were greeted with teal jumpsuits. Jung-bae and Gi-hun.

You moved close to them. “Hey, don't shoot me.” You called out. Gi-hun jumped and turned toward you. His gun was pointed at you for a moment before he realized it was you.

“Jesus, Y/N, you scared the shit out of me.” He said, exasperated from shock.

Your name got Jung-bae’s attention. “Y/N? What are you doing here? Where's Dae-ho?” He asked.

You hesitated for a moment. Would Dae-ho want you to tell him? Would he be okay with showing that vulnerability, or would he want you to hide that and maintain his ex-marine facade? You decided to tell the truth. It was easier to explain than making up a lie. “I think he's having a PTSD episode. He couldn't come back out here.” You said.

Jung-bae gave a knowing look, just nodding. You hoped that meant he understood.

“But why did you come here unarmed? That's too risky.” Gi-hun asked.

You chuckled. “Hyun-ju wouldn't give me a gun. She was going to run it over to you, but they… took some casualties.” You said, trailing a bit on the last few words. “Where's Young-il?” You asked, raising your voice to be heard over the gunfire. You started to pull out two magazines for Gi-hun from the bundle, handing it to him as he answered you.

“You just missed him. He and two others ran ahead to find a way to ambush them.” He said.

You grabbed two more clips from the bundle for Jung-bae. “Cover me?” You requested. He leaned over and began shooting at the guards. You dashed through the gap, dropping the clips near the man before trying to find where the trio went.

It was fairly easy to guess where they went, seeing as they were only trying to get around the guards. There seemed to be only one way to do that. Everything went quiet for a moment. That made you even more cautious, checking around each corner before you continued. Eventually, you saw who you were looking for. Another figure in a teal jumpsuit with no guards around.

You realized you were smiling. You were happy that he was okay and that you would be able to help him after all and-

A series of gunshots rang through the hall. Your smile dropped. You felt your blood run cold.

If the guards fired… why was Young-il still standing still? As he took a step forward, you slowly crept toward him, praying that he didn't hear you.

“It's over, Gi-hun. I'm sorry.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. You peeked slightly around the corner.

That image would forever be burned in your mind. Young-il was very much alive. He was low to the ground, holding out the radio to the player as he took his last breath. Then fired one more shot into the man's head. He turned a dial on the radio with certainty.

You heard him clearly. You were sure of it.

“Let's wrap this up.”

You started to back up, but you stopped when he turned. Your escape was interrupted by his voice.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked. He turned toward you and, in turn, pointed the gun at you without thinking about it.

You froze, instinctively dropping the magazines. You held up your now trembling hands.

He looked at you confused, almost hurt that you thought he would shoot you. Then he realized he was still holding the gun. “Oh shit. No, no, I'm not going to shoot you.” He said, slinging the gun's strap around his shoulder.

“What the hell just happened?” You asked, mostly just confused but also a little nervous.

He sighed. “I know, I have a lot to explain but we can't stay here, okay? Follow me.” He said.

This confused you further. After what you just witnessed, you weren't going anywhere without a bit of explanation. “Where are we going?”

Before he could respond, you heard a pair of footsteps coming from behind you.

Two armed soldiers were coming up the hall. You raised your hands again. One aimed at you. The second lagged behind the other and tried to stop him, reaching for his shoulder and shouting “No, don't!” But he didn't react fast enough, and the soldier put a round in your gut before realizing who he was aiming at.

You screamed, hands shakily touching the wound. Your hand came back bloody. You stumbled slightly, but Young-il caught you, helping you down to the floor.

The voices around you were coming in and out of your awareness. You could see that Young-il was saying something to you, but you only saw his lips moving.

In-ho looked you over. “No, no,no. This wasn't supposed to happen, I'm-” His gaze then darted up to the soldiers.

He glared at the one who shot you. His tone was cold but you could hear the intense anger behind it. “I believe I made the instructions very clear. Player 134 was to be unharmed. Also, your aim could use some work.” He said before aiming his gun at his head and firing.

At the noise of the gunshot, you cried out, thinking someone was going to come finish the job. He looked back down at you with concern. “Hey, hey, it's okay.” He murmured softly.

He gently peeled the shirt from your wound. You whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut. “Sorry.” He said. The wound looked to be away from any vital organs, mostly a flesh wound. “You're gonna be fine. I'm going to get someone to help you, okay? You'll be okay.” He rambled, both reassuring you and convincing himself.

He stood up and addressed the soldier who was still living. “Get them to the doctors. If they die, so do you.” He ordered before storming off toward the management room. Honestly, he was going to kill him anyway since he saw his face.

Unfortunately, he still had a part to play in this special game. He entered the control room, going into the restroom that had been deemed the dressing room for the special game. He needed to get dressed into the Front Man ensemble, but first, he tried to scrub your blood from his hands. His hands were trembling, and his breathing was fast. He felt like he could still see the red staining his hands no matter how long he washed them. If you died, he would probably see it for the rest of his life.

Your memory of the next several hours were flashes of hot pink and black and too much blood. You were taken to an area of the compound that was clearly not meant for players to see. It was very industrial compared to the surreal colorful halls meant for the players.

You were eventually lying on a table with someone who appeared to be a doctor standing over you. You heard someone stressing that you were supposed to be kept alive and with your organs. You would have laughed if you weren't in immense amounts of pain. Eventually, you blacked out.

-

You came to on a leather couch in a room you didn't recognize. You felt the dull ache radiating from your side. It took all your willpower to lift the fabric off your stomach. The wound was bandaged up, which was a good sign. They wouldn't have taken the time to dress your wound if they were going to kill you.

Before you could even think about getting up, you heard a door open. You stayed still, not being able to see who it was. You could hear the faint sound of a dial tone, and you heard a voice.

“Front Man speaking:” He started speaking. The voice was coming through a voice filter, but you knew who it was. It was him.

“I believe I made myself clear during our discussion, but apparently, I was mistaken.” You heard him say.

He paused for a moment, presumably listening to the person on the other end of the line.

“I gave them an order which they disobeyed, and we both know what happens to people who disobey orders.” He said.

Despite your better judgment, you decided to attempt to stand up. You slowly sat up, holding your breath and wincing from the pain. You didn't make a sound even though it was intense. From there, you stood up with fewer difficulties. You took a few steps toward him until he started speaking again.

“The player is fine, luckily.”

He was talking about you presumably. And whatever the person on the phone said pissed him off even more.

“It doesn't matter what you think about the orders. You are expected to follow them. I don't care if you think my feelings are clouding my judgment. That's not for you to decide. Now you can either stop your train of thought here or we can discuss your future here in this operation.”

You opened your mouth in surprise. His feelings? What feelings? You were shocked and excited at the prospect that your feelings may be mutual.

“Continue the protocol as usual. The next vote will take place at 0600 tomorrow morning. I'll see you then.” He said shortly before putting down the receiver. He turned around and froze when he saw you.

He stood there for a moment, expecting you to say something, but you just stood there silently. He was confused for a moment until he remembered you were seeing the polygonal facade. He pulled off his hood and the mask, tossing the latter to the floor without a care.

You had already known it was him. That was an easy assumption to make. But seeing the concerned look flash across his face as well as the realization that you had been listening made the butterflies return to your stomach.

“Hey.” You said softly.

He smiled. He closed the distance between you and pulled you into the gentlest hug you had ever had. This hug had been meticulously planned in his mind, just like every other action he takes. He thought out the placement of his hands, the tightness of his embrace, everything.

You melted into his arms, taking in a deep breath and leaning into him.

On the other hand, he was tense, like he was carrying a heavy weight. Which he was. He was carrying the weight of his fear that you would hate him for every decision he has made.

“Thank you.” You murmured.

“How are you feeling?” He asked you.

“Like I got shot.” You said. He could hear the smirk in your voice. You laughed a bit at your own joke, but he just let out a deep sigh. At this, you pulled away to look at him.

He looked anxious, an emotion you never saw in him. Even in the most dangerous situation, he managed to keep a cool and level head. It's something you admired in him, so seeing him so worried about something was concerning. But you need clarification.

“Young-il, what's going-” You began, but he cut you off.

“In-ho.” He said.

“Hm?” You hummed in confusion, eyebrows knitted together.

“My name is In-ho.” He said.

You didn't have much of a reaction to that statement. “In-ho, what's going on?” You repeated. He was taken aback by how nonchalant you were about this whole thing. He just admitted that he'd been lying to you and hiding his identity, but you didn't seem to care.

“You're all stitched up. The doctors made sure of it.” He said

“I mean with what happened before that.” You said. Your voice was a strange mix of stern and soft. You were trying to be gentle, but you wanted answers.

He sighed. He felt his heart drop as he began to speak. “I'm the one who organizes the games.” He admitted. You didn't seem shocked because that felt very obvious to you. “I went into the games to watch Gi-hun and make sure he couldn't succeed with his attempt of a takeover.” He said.

You nodded. “What happened to them?” You asked.

He didn't look at you. “Jung-bae is dead. The higher-ups have plans for Gi-hun.” He said.

That did surprise you. From how Gi-hun explained it, you had assumed the man in the polygonal mask was the man in charge, but apparently, he wasn't as pivotal as previously thought.

“Did you really tell them not to hurt me?” You asked quietly.

His gaze landed on you quickly. “Of course I did.” He said, matter-of-factly. He felt that was obvious. He cared about you more than he could wrap his head around. “I didn't want you to die in here. If you hadn't come out with the ammo, I was going to arrange a way to get you out safely.” He said.

Your eyes widened with surprise. “Oh.” You murmured. You paused for a moment before speaking. “You know, I only came out with the ammo because of you.”

“I'm still not sure what happened there. Why were you the one bringing the ammo?” He asked.

You sighed. “Dae-ho came back and tried to gather the ammo. I think he went into shock. He wouldn't leave, so I brought it out. I didn’t think that would end well if you all ran out of ammo.”

He nodded. “By the way, what were you thinking? You went without a gun?” He asked, playfully scolding you for the poor decision.

You scoffed. “Hyun-ju wouldn't give me one.” You insisted.

“I don't blame her.” He said with a smirk.

You crossed your arms, sending him a lighthearted glare. “You know, next time I'll leave you to rot.” You said, even though you knew that wasn't actually a possibility in this scenario.

He laughed. “How about there's no next time?” He offered.

You smiled at him. After a moment of quiet, you asked the question that part of you was dreading. “So what happens now?” You were afraid he would send you home. Would you ever see him again? He wouldn't kill you… right?

He seemed to have been dreading that quite as well. “I could arrange a ride to the mainland if you would like.” He said softly, trying to gauge your reaction to the statement. “But if you don't hate my guts and think I'm an irredeemable person, you're welcome to stay here if you like.” He offered. He sounded defeated almost, like he already felt like you hated him.

You had to hate him, right? Everyone always does. He put you through all of this. The bloodshed, the danger, the trauma, it was all his doing.

Maybe others would despise him. But not you.

“I told you already, ‘I won't think of you any differently if you decide not to stop the games.’ Remember that?” You asked. “Nothing's changed.”

He shook his head adamantly. “But I put you through all of this. You got shot for goodness sake.” He raised his voice somewhat at the end, clearly getting more emotional. He couldn't pinpoint what emotion it was, but you knew it was just anxiety.

You reached out and touched his shoulder, hoping it would catch his attention and get him to look at you. “You saved my life. Without you, I'd be in a black box.”

“But I-” He said shakily.

“The blame isn't as black and white as you think it is.” You cut him off. You took a deep breath, shoulders shaking slightly. “Plus, outside of here, it probably would have been worse for me.” You said. You hadn't talked about it much, but it wouldn't have been much longer until your debts would have caused some serious dangers to you.

He still wouldn't look at you, so after a few seconds of silence, you continued speaking. “At least here I met you.”

His breath hitched at your words. He finally looked at you, and you could have sworn his eyes looked somewhat misty. You pulled him into a hug.

He quickly reciprocated the hug, no longer as tense as the first, but he was still cognizant of your injury. He tried his best not to shed a tear. He was just so happy. After years of being alone, he finally found someone who wouldn't shut him out just because of his position in the games.

More than that, he finally found someone who he didn't have to push away because he was afraid of them turning on him once they learned of his work.

Cutting ties with his brother was the hardest thing he'd had to do in his life. After the confrontation with Jun-ho, he thought he would have to resign himself to a life of isolation and live with the fact no one would see him as anything more than a ruthless leader ruling with an iron fist and a penchant for murder.

You didn't take much care to the moral dilemma he created. Playing the games firsthand and seeing so many of your friends die really changed you. This same thing would have happened out there. Maybe this wasn't the best solution to this societal issue, but you sure as hell didn't have a different one that would actually work.

Regardless, you really cared about In-ho. You had grown to trust him the most, not only in the games but probably of everyone in your life. You didn't care that he had been hiding his identity or that he was running the death game that could have killed you. He cared about you. He went out of his way to keep you safe. Hell, he was willing to break the strict rules of the games just to save you.

And he'd do it again in a heartbeat. If his work somehow put you in danger, he would do anything for you. He'd burn it all down if he must. You were the first person who had managed to break through the walls that he had put up.

You pulled away from the hug, still standing close to him. When you looked up, he could see a slight mischievous glint in your eye, but he missed your eyes taking a glance at his lips for a fraction of a second.

“You know, after almost dying, I'm going to do something I would have regretted not doing if I had died.” You said. Before he could ask, you grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled him closer to you, pressing your lips against his.

He was surprised for a second, but he quickly began to kiss you back. You smiled slightly against his lips.

This should be something that felt foreign to him. He hadn't kissed anyone since his wife passed. It should remind him of her, but this was an entirely new feeling for him. Kissing you just felt so right.

You felt the same way. He kissed just like you thought he would. Everything felt methodical and planned, but there was also some underlying force underneath it all. It was exhilarating.

When you pulled away, you both were breathless. He chuckled lightly. “You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that.” He said softly. You nodded in return.

There was still more you had to talk about. You wanted more information about how he got involved in the games in the first place. You wanted to know what happened to Gi-hun. You wanted answers, but you allowed yourself to enjoy the moment a little longer.

But maybe this was a decision that would doom several thousand people's lives. You could be dooming Gi-hun by not taking the initiative to get information. Maybe you could save him or even stop the games entirely.

Or maybe you'd be performing a suicide mission. It would ruin the strongest connection you have forged. You could be kicked out of this place and back onto the streets. You would be at the mercy of the loan sharks waiting to take out their prey. Maybe the soldiers would kill you on the spot for trying anything. Maybe In-ho would have to kill you. You'd become another face that would haunt him whenever he dared to close his eyes.

Perhaps it was selfish, but you didn't care.

[ailithnight]

Howdy y'all. Have a snippet that is completely unconnected to anything else I am writing or will write. Feel free to do with it whatever you please.

But first, important warning! TW: Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault of a Minor

Seriously, this actually might be a brand new kind of fucked up even for the Danny Phantom fandom.

"Oh. I don't think you need to worry about, uh… that stuff."

"Oh? Why not?"

"It's just. Um. Y'know. The, the scientist were always fascinated by, um, by my 'mimicry of bodily functions,' right? They wanted to test how far the, 'the mimicry' extended. If I'd 'mimic' things like, digestion and immune response and, and um, excitement."

"Excitement." Flat. Not really a question, but a question all the same.

"Yeah. You know…" Danny makes a couple hand gestures. Wiggles his pointer a couple times; then holding his hand in a loose fist and giving a couple jerky, twisting pulling motions. Kind of like… Oh. Oh god. He's just 15. It's such a painfully 15 thing to do, dancing around the topic like this. All awkward and nervous.

But also, god, he's so painfully 15. Jason is suddenly wishing he'd made a lot more bullet holes when they took those fuckers down. He would have if he'd known just how far their depravity sank. If he'd known they had-

"They sexually assaulted you?" Dick's voice is high and strained. Jason winces. Everyone knows, Dick hasn't told them, but they've all seen the signs, they know he has some personal traumas there.

Danny full body flinches, recoiling as if Dick had just slapped him.

"What? No! It wasn't. They didn't. It's not like they were, like, getting off to it or anything. They were just. Testing reactions. To, like, stimuli and stuff. Same as when they'd test how my body responded to different temperatures or lack of oxygen or various drugs. It wasn't. It was just an experiment." Danny looks down, fidgeting his hands in his lap and refusing to look up. It's practically textbook denial. Dick is probably fighting flashbacks right now. Jason would try to help him if he wasn't trapped somewhere between horror and rage.

After a long moment of silence and fidgeting, Danny sighs. Still refusing to look at anyone, he leans back and studies the cieling instead. "Anyway. It was just another expiriment, but it still kind of killed any interest in… that stuff." Young. Young. So painfully young. "So I don't think I really need the whole… y'know… talk."

[aventurineswife]

So I got myself sucked to lost media rabbit hole, especially lostwave. So imagine, reader once make music but stopped because they either busy or just want to take a break from making music. And one day the character somehow get a clip of their music video but only for 20 second of it, but that 20 second definitely hit the spot. And so the hunt of lost media begun. It would be even more perfect when reader make these music at 2010-2014, the song is pretty old but that doesn't mean they would give in like that.

Sorry for yapping, just had this idea crossed my mind out of the blue. Lost media fascinate me since there's soo many good content but it lost :(

HELP?! WHY DO PEOPLE LOVE THIS AU SO MUCH?! 😭🙏 LIKE IK ITS GOOD AND ALL BUT OMG-

It begins as a whisper.

The first time one of the characters hears the faintest trace of your music—an old track they never knew existed—something unsettles them.

March 7th finds an ancient clip while casually browsing through some files she stumbled upon. It's barely 20 seconds long, fuzzy and grainy, almost like it's been hidden away on the internet for years, untouched by time. The footage is barely enough to recognize, but the music? The song? It hits different.

The sound is distinctly your style, laced with melancholy and nostalgia, but it’s from a different time, a time they didn't know you existed in.

Welt is intrigued by the song’s complexity. He immediately starts analyzing the structure, the style, the instruments. “This feels like something from the early 2010s, but with such… an unusual vibe.”

Himeko is more emotional. “There’s something haunting about this. Like it’s pulling at a part of us that we didn’t even know was there.”

They both agree: the song has to be part of your lost history. You, their mysterious Creator, must have made it before becoming so busy or stepping back from the world.

Blade is silent for an uncomfortably long time after hearing the song. It seems to evoke something deep within him—something personal.

Dan Heng watches him, sensing Blade’s sudden vulnerability. He, too, finds himself drawn into the music. The melancholy and rawness of the sound tug at something deep inside him, though he can’t place it.

They decide that the 20 seconds of your music isn’t enough. They want more. They need more.

Aventurine immediately gets obsessed. “Do you hear that? That’s the sound of our Creator’s soul, calling out from the past. We must find it!”

Sunday takes a different approach. He starts delving into ancient records, combing through anything he can find about you, trying to understand what this music means. To him, this is no longer a song—it’s a divine relic. "This is a sign! We must reclaim our Creator’s lost art!"

Both of them begin searching everywhere for any trace of the missing music, becoming obsessed with the idea of uncovering your lost creations.

Kafka smirks at the sound, recognizing the haunting undertones. "This is definitely a piece of your past, isn’t it?"

Black Swan agrees. “There’s an unmistakable sadness to it. They’ve hidden it for a reason. But why? What made them stop?”

They both turn inward, wondering what you went through to stop creating, to step back from making music. But they can’t ignore that the music is still a part of you—they want to find the rest of it, to reconnect with the “artist” behind the music.

Luocha listens quietly, feeling the melancholy in every note. "It’s almost like a dream, fading away with time."

Jing Yuan, always curious, notes, “This song… it’s old. But the way it feels—almost as if it were made just for us.”

The two of them decide that the song might hold clues about your past, and with that, they set off on a personal quest to recover the lost music. They search for anything that might lead them to more pieces.

Characters begin digging deep into old files, secret music vaults, archives, and obscure corners of the universe. The hunt for the lost music intensifies.

Every lead seems to go nowhere, but every time they find something—whether it’s an old video link or a half-deleted file—it’s like a spark of hope ignites. They keep digging, convinced that you—the enigmatic Creator—are still out there, waiting for them to rediscover your music.

And then it happens. They find a full video, a full song. Or maybe just another short clip. It’s old, but it’s yours.

The world falls silent. The moment they hear it, they know. This is you. This is the music you created.

But now the real question emerges: Why did you stop? Why did you hide it?

They now obsess over every note in the song, the subtle melodies, the emotions that drip from each lyric.

Blade & Dan Heng? They are absolutely smitten with this lost piece of your soul, so much so that they start debating what it means to your identity.

Aventurine & Sunday? They go as far as to frame the clip, treating it like a sacred relic, while constantly talking about how “they knew you had this hidden talent.”

Kafka & Black Swan? They can’t stop wondering if this song holds more than just music. Could this be a message? Something you wanted to share with them, even though you never fully revealed yourself?

Eventually, the search for the rest of your lostwave music becomes a personal journey for each character.

Some believe the rest is out there, waiting to be found. Others begin to accept the mystery, considering that the music might remain lost forever. But deep down, they know that one day—if you ever decide to return to the world of music—you'll reveal yourself again. And they'll be ready.

Sigh, 😞 how tf...

[athousandbyeol]

keep up the thamepo [episode 8]

this episode easily became my favourite episode after episode 1. the flavours are beautifully mixed and I love how everything ties together into a wonderful and coherent dish.

i was fearful of the possibility of them dragging the jun-thame-po drama until the end of the episode, but I'm glad they resolved it at such a right pace and gave us more time to witness another step taken by thame and po—the progress of their relationship is beautiful and captivating. it makes me giddy and happy and shy and rooting for them even more.

i don't have much to say about the past few episodes because they're quite direct and easy to digest (in my opinion). however, I'm keen on talking about jun's side of the story and the physical intimacy between thame and po (finally!)

p.s. i do apologise for not writing this weekly thamepo post for episodes 6 and 7 for reasons I've stated previously. but without further ado, let's begin!

1. jun's unrequited love — his sacrifice for the friendship that means more than the world to him

for weeks, i've been asking myself, "what's up with jun?"

his actions confused me because the series!jun was doing things that were different from novel!jun. for context, I read some spoilers a few weeks ago, and I learned that in the novel, jun likes thame. the air hockey scene was when he was *kind of* confessing his feelings for thame, but not directly and openly. i don't know how novel!jun treats novel!po, therefore I can't really make a deduction if he's also falling for po. but in terms of the series!jun, I believe he did like po.

let's be serious. he wouldn't be here if he didn't have feelings for po. i don't think anyone can convince me (at this point) that he didn't like po romantically.

he knew thame was busy dealing with khun pemika at the company (and other stuff pertaining to MARS), so he took another step to be there for po when thame couldn't—he didn't want po to feel left out or abandoned.

it's so fascinating to me that at this point, jun believed that their feelings were one-sided; he knew po liked thame, but jun didn't believe that thame would feel the same. i think this has a lot to do with the fact that thame is more of show not tell kind of person.

jun was looking at thame and po—he was observing them. he was trying to put two and two together (and hoping that the answer wouldn't be four because if it did—he would have to back off). but the answer was indeed four and jun...

i think, at the back of jun's mind, he knew what was happening between thame and po—it was so obvious that they shared something mutual. but jun was battling his own devils. along the way, as his feelings grew for po, and all those moments spent with po—perhaps jun saw that he had a chance. he only had to be in this headspace where he believed thame didn't feel the same for po. thus, why jun was running away from thame—because jun knew, if he confronted thame (or vice versa), he would discover the truth. and I guess, he wasn't ready for that rejection.

jun was really attentive, and that wasn't a surprise. he was always watching and trying to access/understand the situation. i guess, aside from pepper, jun would be the next to see the bigger picture. he would be the one to take charge if thame and pepper couldn't.

he knew po's favourite snacks. he wanted to be there with po—for po. even though he's brash and rough, this was his way of showing that he cared—he loved.

(i think i've covered more extensively jun's character in this post for better understanding of where I'm coming from hehe)

so the confrontation began and jun said everything he wanted to say to thame.

in my opinion, jun believed that whatever thame were doing for po wasn't enough. i guess, jun put himself in po's shoes for a while here—it reminded him of how thame selflessly took all the burden of MARS and carried them on his shoulders alone. thame did those things for the sake of the group, and jun found that unbelievably selfish because they're in a group—he's supposed to be thame's best friend, someone he could trust and talk to—they should be in this together. but it was second nature for thame to take everything and leave nothing on the plate, probably because of his role as a leader.

i think jun was hoping that thame wouldn't do that alone. he didn't want thame to blame himself for everything that happened to MARS before they reunited. jun didn't like many decisions thame made, so this was why he decided to distance himself from MARS and led the other members astray from thame. it was his way of coping with problems and betrayal and disappointment: he would run because he wanted to avoid conflict—he didn't want to paint anyone as the bad guy.

so this was what he did: he avoided thame so that he didn't have to confess his own feelings for po, while he vaguely knew that po might not feel the same.

even though i know many of us (me included) were confused about jun and the reason behind his doings, this episode really cleared the air for me. he loved his friendship with thame more than anything—he loved thame a lot to put a stop to their years of friendship. people could say anything about him, but at the end of the day, jun genuinely cared about thame and po. and he chose them over his own feelings.

(i also love the back-and-forth tension between jun and thame as they confessed the things they'd been dying to say to each other. and each time they were right, the puck entered the goal. that was so effective to prove the intensity of their emotions from a literary standpoint I was actually vibrating in awe because they DID THAT so well ugh it was so delicious!!!)

but the thing that made me scream and lose my breath was thame asked jun "you like him, don't you?" and the puck entered jun's goal OH MY GOD THAT WAS PEAK CINEMA in my opinion!!!

and jun was transported back to those moments shared with po, that little time he spent with po—these feelings that were growing fonder by the second. they were fleeting, but still so beautiful. (if this isn't love then I guess... I'm blindsided by love. i don't know what love is anymore t_t)

and it broke me when jun answered, "it doesn't matter how I feel," because JUN, LOVE, YOUR FEELINGS MATTERED GOODNESS :'(

and when jun said to thame, "you don't even have feelings for him," THAME STOPPED THE PUCK FROM ENTERING HIS GOAL GOODNESS THAT WAS ANOTHER PEAK CINEMA MOMENT BECAUSE!!!!!!!

it wasn't true. he had feelings for po. he loved po. thame loved po so much.

i think, due to his inexperience, thame didn't know much about navigating his feelings for po. he didn't know what was enough and what was overdoing things. thame was always standing on this thin line between sanity and madness—he didn't know how to find the perfect balance. there was no doubt that thame liked po more intensely, but in jun's eyes (and I believe pepper too), thame wasn't doing enough. and po could be oblivious sometimes, so that was why jun saw this as a chance for him to make a move—to revolve with po. because love wasn't only about late-night texts and failed movie dates and long walks and heart-to-heart talks. love should be thame moving forward with po and not for po—love should be thame holding po's hand and facing the upcoming obstacle together—not just handling it alone.

jun just didn't want thame to repeat the same mistake he did with MARS. after he knew everything from po about thame's sacrifices (in episode 3), he was gutted that thame kept so much guilt and anger alone. he just wanted thame to prove (more to himself than anyone) that he was a man of his word—he would be there for MARS and po. he would love and protect them as promised.

jun and thame's friendship runs deeper than the sea and we can't pretend that we can't see the depth of their understanding and reliance on each other. these two individuals have so much love to give and receive, but the winner takes all—and in this game, thame won.

thame said that even though they'd been friends for a long time, neither of them had to back down if they really liked po. this also proved thame's selflessness and also his openness to accepting the what-ifs of po not picking him.

however, i believe, jun loves thame and this friendship more than his blossoming feelings for po—jun backed down for the sake of this friendship—for his love and respect for thame. //jun... I've wronged you in so many ways. I'm sorry that I doubted you. love, you deserve more than the entire world :'(//

jun said he didn't have feelings for po: this was his way of waving the white flag. i think jun believed it wasn't worth giving up years of friendship and watching it going down the drain just for a person—even though jun hoped it could transpire into something more meaningful if he never discovered about thame's truest feelings for po. but like I said, it was clear from the start that thame and po liked each other, and all jun wanted (and tried to avoid) was to believe he could be in thame's shoes if thame stayed in his spot—if he didn't get the clarification from thame about his feelings for po.

jun was obviously dejected and disheartened, but he masked it so well with that usual smugness. but at least, in my eyes, I knew jun genuinely liked po, and he cared about him in ways that thame was lacking before. but he believed po was better off with thame instead of him since their feelings were already equal.

and i have an inkling that thame—to an extent—knew that jun was lying. i think thame knew jun liked po too... and this was why episode 3!jun and episode 3!thame were so important to be understood because their friendship is so genuine and strong and nothing could ever break this bond except the both of them. thame was aware of the sacrifices jun did and vice versa. this wouldn't affect their friendship—this wouldn't make them crumble. they loved each other too much to let it happen (although they'll never say this aloud).

jun turned from a thame's potential competitor to thamepo's unofficial cupid. no one's doing it like jun. he's the OG definition of 'best friend' in my opinion: a pain in the ass, but would stand up for others no matter what.

and the way he was looking at po here... it felt like a goodbye to his feelings for po :( but I hope they'll continue being this bickering duo and frenemies because jun really helped po see his potential and po gave jun warmth and comfort like never before :(

also, shoutout to nut for being the perfect jun! you're an amazing actor! the emotional rollercoaster you strapped me into while watching your shenanigans and heart eyes for po gave me chest pains (tbvh). but friend, I love you. i hope you'll find happiness *coughs* dylan *coughs* ;)

it drives me insane that jun and po were finally meeting somewhere with a brighter setting and lighting—probably hinting that both of their feelings are no longer in the dark. no one was hiding from the truth anymore.

this was when jun got the last confirmation that po liked thame—and this was where po knew that thame liked him too. this ended on a bittersweet note for jun, but an epiphany for po. //my heart hurts for unknown reasons...//

2. physical intimacy — another step forward, a moment of clarity

sometimes, i think, thamepo took the slow burn too seriously because what do you mean in episode 8 we finally got them properly holding hands??? (but i love it so much T_T)

but the whole sequence of thame and po talking, trying to squeeze out the 'i like you' from each other but didn't get to because that felt too heavy on their shoulders for now. so they settled with conversations filled with metaphors and symbols and I'm always down for that ;)

i think this was the first time that they were this physically close. my heart was in my throat for the remaining 13 minutes because they were so shy and this moment felt so intimate and sensual and I shouldn't be prodding but I couldn't stop gawking at them finally being this close and all over each other (metaphorically) and I didn't know where they were heading—

and thame decided to watch the movie in po's room because, like jun said—

"why you should be there in a rush? seeing him today, I guess, at most, you'll just end up staring at each other. I'm telling you, during the first six months of dating him, even holding hands is an achievement. and it will take two whole years before you two get to kiss. as for going to his room, i'd say it'll definitely take up to five years."

the way i CACKLED because jun, friend, sorry to burst your bubble, but these knuckleheads FINALLY HELD HANDS!!!!!!!!!

i wondered if i was a victorian man seeing a woman's ankle for the first time because this scene got me squeaking and screeching and hollering and screaming and giggling and blushing and losing my marbles because yes!!! finally! they were one step closer (literally and physically)! thame was really proving jun wrong because this guy was done being vanilla xD

there's really this different charge in the air after thame and po reached a moment of clarity through jun. thame was visibly more confident, and po was more open to accepting thame's advances (even though he was still nervous. i think this still has a lot to do with the emotional trauma that po has after his break-up with earn).

thame did the korean male lead move here and expect me not to scream??? the audacity.

and when thame said he wanted to do so many things (to po and with po), but watching a movie in po's room would be enough for this new beginning—THAME YOU'RE INSANE!!!

and yes, thame was buying a bottle of water and lozenges for his throat to spend the night with po (and not what we had in mind... 👀)

we know what's coming next week. and that particular scene (the second picture)... if you know, you know... //readying myself to jump off the nearest rooftop//

are we even ready for thamepo dating era? //i'm not...//

[zuzuelectricbugaloo]

Absolutely fascinating, and I can see exactly what you mean.

From someone describing Cross's personality, including his impulsivity, emotional dysregulation and being spiteful (and approved by Jakei as nailing Cross's character). He's got anxiety, struggles with self-worth and self-esteem yet simultaneously acts so self-absorbed to the point where he has no qualms about being a jerk to literal children.

Take his relationship with XGaster. Cross hates him as much as he wants his approval. Willing to fight against him or alongside him in whatever it takes to get his AU back and to stop the Overwrites (all or nothing). Because for all his dad’s abuse, he’s still his dad, and Cross wants him to be proud of him. (There’s old Jakei pride art where Cross is wearing a rainbow shirt and hugging XGaster, saying “I hate you so much…but I love you” while smiling goofily)

Cross is full of himself, and believes himself to be more powerful and understanding of things than he actually is and feels entitled to his happy ending (tbh fair, considering everything). Or just take that moment of his interaction with Goth for Underverse Studios, where Cross justifies taking and drinking all his chocolate milk because Cross is an "adult" and therefore needs it more than Goth.

This conflates with his anxiety and self-doubt, where he also worries if he’s done enough or if he should’ve done something else but it’s too late, so he buckles down with his decision even if it’s a bad one. If anyone considered themself a “god”, he’d think it nonsense. That everything is run by codes and magic and force of will. So if a deity imagery is used with XGaster then Cross would think it’s up to him to stop that false god

His beef with XMettaton? Full of passive-aggressive interactions between the two especially when Mettaton refused to help Cross when a cow was chewing on his bandana. And it's this moment that gave Cross bovinophobia because he genuinely believed he was about to be beaten.

Then there's all of his unstable relationships with friends and what was once family. XChara causes him so much grief, and when they shared a body he despised the loss of autonomy. But they were also there when he was alone in the Antivoid for who knows how long until Ink came. They’ve become a reluctant companion, but there’s constant friction between the two for both the events that happened with their AU and clashing thoughts on how to handle things, both believing the other to be correct and that the other just messes everything up.

All or nothing with Ink: He believed Ink abandoned him and was never his friend to begin with when Cross had asked Ink to bring his AU back and didn't. All of their history, of how Ink probably kept Cross from going insane from the equivalent of solitary confinement and an emotionally unstable XChara, of how Ink helped Cross develop a passion for art and it's one of the few healthy coping mechanisms he has, all of it is pushed to the side and ignored by what Cross perceived as a slight to him and a manipulative betrayal. How could Ink pretend to be his friend when this whole time, he couldn't bring back XTale, and later on, worked with XGaster to keep his Soul safe and then release it?

All or nothing with Frisk: XFrisk was his best friend, and the betrayal that XFrisk had used Cross and tried to kill him and the others to steal Overwrite from XGaster that kickstarted Underverse in the first place had him throw his locket and rage and hate XFrisk and refuse to accept the name "Cross". A resentment that carried on throughout Underverse and in art of them answering asks, there are brief moments where they're friends again only for Cross to lash out at other moments. And in Underverse the locket is one of Cross's most prized possessions, and he always keeps it on his person. And yet "Cross" is his name, his entire identity, and he lashes out at XPapyrus to the point where he punches him in the face and threatens him with bone attacks until he says his name "Cross".

His brother, who was one of the people Cross wanted revived again more than anything, he's willing to go so far as to enforce his identity by physically attacking XPapyrus who only wanted his brother back.

Aside from his AU back, he wants a sense of normalcy again. He wasn’t always so frustrated or mad all the time, this is a side effect of not only childhood abuse but also trauma from the events of XTale. Not to mention the moments where even as a child, Cross He wants his home back, and more than that, he wants peace and to rest and to be loved (it hurts to distance himself from XPap, but Cross believes it's the only thing he can do now; that he has no other choice) That Cross now and will never be the Sans that XPap knew and loved, and wants to still be accepted by the ones he loves despite having changed so much

All the moments where his body was controlled by others: by XFrisk, XChara, or XGaster, the moments where he's emotionally vulnerable and was manipulated, greatly resemble dissociative episodes, where Cross is so disconnected from his body and even his mind feels out of his control. It's like he's nothing more than a Tool for others to use.

Looking at Cross as a whole, it all aligns much too well with BPD.

ASPD INK WOOOO CLUSTER B REPRESENT!! Nobody can take away Cluster B character headcanons away from me, Cluster B characters I love you

HELL YAAAAAAAA

We love Cluster B in this house

Allow me to actually give you a tiny list of cluster Bs and the characters I associate with them

ASPD: Ink, Nightmare (I’ve been also considering Killer, not yet made a decision tho xhxhxh)

BPD: Nightmare

HPD: Error

NPD: Cross

[academyofbrokenhearts]

I have finally finished reading Blossom. Happy ending in the novel too, although a lot of things were vastly different; the main couple, of course, remained superior until the end.

Things we got in the novel that I am glad didn't make it into the series:

Dou Zhao, an adult woman, scheming and navigating complex familial relationships while in a two year old, then a five year old body. I get how it might be interesting for some, but it was incredibly boring for me, and since she managed to neutralise her stepmother quite early on, I saw no need to spend so much time watching her building up and managing relationships with everyone in the Dou family. Moreover, I am glad that the size of the family was trimmed down (I still can't make sense of all the relationships presented in the novel) and some characters were changed compared to how they were in the novel; it was amazing to see Grandma, who had been only a concubine in the book (and therefore couldn't even be called Grandma by Dou Zhao according to customs, let alone have any kind of power), turning into a formidable matriarch, and it was also cool to see Zhao Zhangru as the constant sidekick;

no Song Mo until 114 chapters in. I must confess that my main fascination in both the series and the novel was the relationship between the mains, and the fact that he is only mentioned once or twice before his first dramatic appearance was definitely not enough for me;

way too much time spent on side characters; like I said in a previous post, did I really need to know in detail how Suxin and Sulan ended up serving Dou Zhao? And it felt even more useless since in the novel they end up getting married and leaving the Song Manor, and only getting mentioned in passing from that moment on;

Things I wish would have made it into the series, but did not (and some of them could have never made it, unless the entire censorship board would have been in a coma):

all the sexual encounters between Song Mo and Dou Zhao. Like in the series, the start of their physical intimacy is quite slow, they don't consummate during their wedding night (but unlike in the series, it's not because she prepares a period PowerPoint presentation, it's simply because he knows the next days as newlyweds will be tiring, and just wants to allow them to rest). Unlike in the series, no one is cockblocking Song Mo (in fact, their subordinates are even alarmed at the lack of consummation), and when he decides to make a move on Dou Zhao, he does it, and no one dares to interrupt. They make love quite regularly from that moment on, and I like how Dou Zhao's reluctance is gradually melting away, and how the novel is clearly stating that she enjoys the encounters just as much as he does, and even becomes bold enough to initiate later on;

them being parents. I know we get that one cute scene with their daughter at the end of the series, but Song Mo is such a good dad and husband in the novel, constantly prioritising Dou Zhao's comfort and being just as involved in the child's rearing as she is (to the point that their son learns to say Papa before Mama). I surely wish we would have seen more of that in the series.

Song Yichun does not die in the novel. He is, in a delightful twist of fate, forced to expel Song Han from the family, a treatment he had hoped to apply to Song Mo, and is left disabled after Song Han attacks him. Moreover, the daughter he had switched at birth with Song Han is discovered alive, Song Mo takes her under his protection, and she gets married and lives happily. I surely wish karma would have hit the old man in the face like this in the series as well.

Other things that got changed which I am fairly neutral about:

Song Mo and Dou Zhao's backgrounds in life 1. I have to say I loved how the series made it crystal clear that life 1 was an utterly doomed timeline, with both of them being betrayed and ultimately killed, while the entire country was burning. Life 1 in the novel was bleak in a different, more subtle, way. Dou Zhao dies after a long illness, almost completely devoid of any human warmth - the novel tells us that both her sons with Wei Tingyu are distant, as a result of her being too busy with household matters to be able to form a bond with them, and the only warmth she gets is from her daughter, a child she had after forcing herself to have sex with her husband once more (she had trauma from miscarriage), hoping she could get pregnant again and alleviate her loneliness somewhat. And Song Mo, unlike in the series, is a very powerful figure after the coup, but is perceived as merciless (having slaughtered both his father and brother), cynical (he never finds out the truth about his uncle's death, and never bothers to) and, in the end, utterly, utterly alone;

the dynamic between them after the rebirth. Unlike in the series, where they forged a bond in life 1 which was the basis for their relationship as adults in life 2, in the novel they meet as teenagers (when he is 13 and she is 14), and he is more or less smitten from the beginning, whereas she fears and despises him at first, gradually starting to understand him the more their paths cross. While in the series, they are already both in love by the time she accepts his proposal (having gone through a lot of adventures together that strengthened their bond), in the novel, he is the one with the huge crush, while she accepts his proposal for more pragmatic reasons, trusting that he is capable and will support her in the way Wei Tingyu was unable to. But the attraction between them is mutual, and I really liked watching her slowly but surely falling in love with him due to his constant care and attention towards her;

Song Mo is way more calculated in the novel than in the series, where he's simply feral and would wreak havoc at any given moment were it not for Dou Zhao and her more sensible approaches. It makes for an interesting dynamic in the series, where they pretty much compliment each other, but I must confess I loved his scheming and 5D chess playing in the novel;

Dou Ming's entire character. Unlike in the series, which presented a nature versus nurture situation, with Dou Ming being shrewd in life 1 after being raised by her mother, and a sweet, innocent girl in life 2, as a result of not being raised by her mother, in the novel, Dou Ming exhibits jealousy from an early age, and constantly feels inferior, which ultimately results in her taking Dou Zhao's place as Wei Tingyu's wife. Their marriage is unhappy, as, just like in the series, he is not very smart and doesn't like facing difficulties. Unlike in the series, she doesn't die (she's too petty to die), but it's clear by the time she makes her last appearance in the novel that her life is miserable, and there is no chance of improvement;

Wang Yingxue is not even half as cunning and manipulative as her series counterpart; she fails to charm Dou Shiying in any meaningful way (he is never in love with her and only wants to take her as a concubine because they had a sexual encounter while he was drunk, and he wants to save face) and ultimately she pushes him away, becomes a pariah in the family and is sent to a country estate to die forgotten by everyone, including her daughter;

Miao Ansu has a completely different familial background and no connection to Dou Zhao prior to her marriage with Song Han. She's also far from being the timid forest creature the series portrays her as;

Song Han manages to be somehow even more awful than his series counterpart. Not only is he not in love with Miao Ansu, he also lacks any kind of respect for her, which ultimately pushes her to align with Dou Zhao and Song Mo, and initiate his downfall. His death is not described in the novel, but it is heavily implied.

Overall, while there were a lot of things I liked about the book, I think I prefer the pacing of the series way more. Also, the series got a "will they get their happily ever after, won't they?" feeling with the poison subplot that the novel lacked until very close to the end (when Dou Zhao is almost taken hostage during the palace coup). The royals are awful as hell in both iterations, the injustice never really gets solved (in my opinion, the Emperor was also very much to blame for Jiang Meisun's death, not only the scheming Empress), but at least the lovely main couple lives happily ever after.

Would I rather recommend the book or the series? Honestly, probably the series, but the Song Mo/Dou Zhao dynamic is lovely in the novel as well, and, if nothing else, those passages about their relationship are definitely worth reading.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

TXT's Tea Session

Dislaimer: No facts, all alleged, just my interpretation of the cards and messages.

Alright, time for the next tea session. Time for to get to my other favorites. I feel they got some tea, so let's see what they are willing to share. I feel this group always shares some fascinating insights.

Yeonjun

I see him very protective of his career and assets. He can be selfish in that way. He always looks to expand his career. I can see him being open to sexual favors if that gets him where he need to be and expand globally. It may have been with an older female, as the clarifier was the Empress, hopefully he didn't get a chick pregnant, but it can also mean to be able to create he had to sleep with this person. He does feel caged and very in control. He may not liked to be tamed as he is.

He is showing they are infantilized and coddled a bit too much. They can't really mature in some ways. And that the higher ups don't want them to outgrow them and prosper too much. He is showing me that there is competitive energy between the members, maybe they are out up against one another. He is showing some sort of rituals they may do, but he isn't elaborating on this. Pulled more cards, it is something that helps them gain success, so maybe doing rituals and spells to help with their success. Nothing new there, been getting that.

I wanted a clarifier for the 5 of wands. He seems to actually not like the drama or competitive energy around the group. Although, he may care about success and his money. He does want less drama and for all to get along and be more loving towards another. He rather distance himself from that and would rather separate himself from it. He might also feel it isn't good for their careers to have all this drama and fighting. He wants them to stand as a united front and be a loving family, so whatever disagreements the other members may have, and I do see that. He separates himself from that noise and isolates himself, until things get resolved. He wants no part of it. He wants them to be emotionally connected. Not going to lie, thought he was a bit cold, and about his career, but he genuinely seems to want them all to get along.

Hmm, it took a while to get something out of him. He doesn't open up so easily, but got some tea, as I would expect.

Soobin

I can see him being emotionally turbulent, maybe got offered some drink that cultivate that. He isn't very stable, and emotions can get the best of him. He seems to run on his emotions. He struggles to stay balanced. I don't see him being very grounded. I see a female energy being problematic for him. I do sense he has been traumatized. He could have dealt with some sort of abuse. It is hard for him to stand strong through it all. He seems to have his guard up and tries to protect himself.

There could be some contracts or deal he foolishly signed into, no surprised there. I don't think he was aware of what he signed into. I just think he didn't know all it takes to get to the pinnacle of success. Backstabbing, lies and deceit and a sense of imbalance. I believe it is hard for him to manage it all. He kind of struggles to balance all the responsibilities of it all. He had a naive approach to it all.

Wanted more card for this Empress and got some not-so-great cards she is a problem in his life. She causes chaos and turmoil for him, makes his life a living hell. I am not sure if this is his Mom, or a mother figure in the company. But the Hierophant card showed up, so she can be part of the company. I see her having a strong desire to see them succeed, but she can be too much and overbearing and quite problematic. She may even confuse him and could say hurtful things to him, or maybe he said something to her. She makes it hard for him to reach new levels and maybe even find peace of mind. She may be part of the reason he is messed up and emotionally all over the place.

Beomgyu

He seems determined to get what he wants. He is a passionate individual and there may be something he wants or may fight for. I can also see him not really being about the money, more so the creative pursuit. He may want things to be more creative, rather than it be about how to make money or focusing on those aspects.

He seems to go through these modes of being emotionally numb, bored with things, distant and then he can be very self-indulgent. But I can also see him not taking those drinks they may offer and decline those things. He does seem to find a way to dissociate and disconnect from time to time. Like he may not want to face reality at times. He could drink (alcoholic beverages) to numb himself. Or there is some escape mechanism he used to avoid the reality.

He seems to try to balance all aspects of himself and tries not to lean to far into one end of the spectrum. He tries to be rational, logical and smart about things, but can also be very in the clouds, imaginative and idealistic about things. I see him clashing with others, maybe a war of words, due to his desire to be more creative and wanting more creative projects. He is pretty stubborn and I see him having no problem expressing his grievances and disappointments to the higher ups. I just keep seeing that he wants more creative pursuits and there is a disagreement on that and he is at odds with others, due to that. He isn't showing me anything new here. I have seen this in his energy for a while.

I don't see Beomgyu as someone with dark secrets or anything. Although, he does show off a timid and shy appearance. He seems pretty vocal and demanding about his grievances and seems to not keep quiet about that behind the scenes.

Taehyun

Seeing some discrepancy with him and others, possibly the members. He is at odds with others. This could do with an attraction, he may have an attraction to someone, could be a member, yup saying it. This is a tea session. Not going lie, could be Kai. He ends this spread with cups, which is about emotions. This is how I see this.

He may feel betrayed and backstabbed right now. He could be depressed. He seems a bit distant now, possibly avoidant, maybe trying to avoid his own emotions. So, it does seem he is focusing his energy on work and trying to do things to keep his mind off of things. I see him doing his best to escape his feeling, but also just reflecting and spending time to himself.

This 5 of Wands keeps showing itself with this group, definitely drama surrounds them and the members. I see manipulation, backstabbing with him, is it him or others, not sure. I am also seeing, and I saw this with his reading with Soobin. He may have did some sly shit to him, to knock him down, out of jealousy and competitiveness. I needed more cards, because this is interesting, so I got the Emperor, this always gives me check mate, a need to one up someone, so he may have felt the need to do that, and then I got, 5 of Pentacles and 9 of Cups, a need to take someone out to get what he wants.

Need more card, because he is bringing the tea! I got the 7 of wands rv and the 6 of cups and got boundaries being crossed in the past, had no clue wtf that means, so pulled more cards, and got the 3 of cups, strongly feel this is himself, Soobin and Kai, there is something about work and moving forward or a difficulty to do so, I wish I can get more information, ugh, I want all the details, but can't get it. I will pull two more and that is it! He gave me the 3 of wands, 3 again! And Empress, creative energy. Okay, this is simpler than I thought, it is a struggle for them to tap into their emotions, because of that they can't nurture the bond they have and move forward. It is just stagnant, also a need for them to be more compassionate and understanding of another. Okay, I am done officially.

Wait, another thing that came up while reading this back. Just with them there is a lot of combative and aggression energy and not enough emotions and compassion with these guys, which creates this turmoil. They are just not in touch with their emotions, which causes all these problems. They are all, mainly the 3 I discussed, have not done the healing work yet to move forward in a positive direction.

Huening Kai

He is showing a disagreement, being at odds, this could be with Tae or Soobin, since this is the exact same thing that came up in Tae's reading or the people within the company. These next cards make no sense to me. Ace of Swords, sharing some information. 10 of Wands, heavy burdens, carrying a lot of the weight and 3 of cups, rituals, magic spells. But that can also be the 3 members I been mentioning. Pulled more cards and still makes no sense, the Star card is also about sending something out to the universe. There is a plan for him to make some sort of change.

He might want to leave the company, maybe he told Tae about this and that upset him, but he may want them to join him. I see him wanting to go against the company head, maybe seek Justice. He wants to utilize his talents elsewhere. He may not think it is utilized there. He may be tired of making money for this person, he seems to think he is a lazy bumb and they do all the work, which is why he wants to dip, maybe so he can make money on his own terms and for himself. I see him wanting to expand even further than he is. He may feel the company holds him back.

He seems to want to take control of his life and may have a plan. He feels trapped and limited, a bit suffocated. It seems he is starting to follow his heart and intuition and letting that lead him. He also sees things clearly and has observed things he may have not liked. I also see him wanted to make money for himself and take control of his own money and assets. He is tired off the stress and the mental games they may play with them, the back and forth. Yeah, he wants equal distribution of money, the work he puts in he should be paid for and it seem he feels he doesn't. He may talk to the other members, I feel mainly Tae and Soobin about going after the company together and demand what they want or leave together. But they may not completely side with him there. He wants to shine, but he may feel he is being stifled.

Alright, I spent way too much time with this one, but this group was the most fascinating, which I was expecting to be honest. The more I read for them. The more interesting they are to me. But I will stop here.

[sxypnk]

imagine college professor nanami! and student! reader

its the little things that get him riled up to the point he has to embarasingly excuse himself in the middle of a lecture to go "use the restroom"...anyways yeah you do it on purpose but he doesn't know that! the reavealing outfits you wear from time to him are definetly to get his attention. Each time you see the reaction in his eyes, it brings you a sense of gratification, knowing he’s completely unaware that you’re doing it on purpose just to tease him.

when the class is working on an assignment he would make his way around the room to people who need help and when it's your turn you both enjoy every second of it, you're smart, but sometimes you would just do it to catch his attention, when he hover over your should its the way he does it, the hovers over you as if you were just a tiny bug. he was so close you could feel his breath hover over right above your neck making you hive in goosebumps—so close you could smell the kind of shampoo he uses and oh don't get me started, the way he smells—nanami is most definitely a tom ford man, his cologne is strong enough to make you scrunch your nose, in a good way-it overpowers all other scents in the room, makes people yk take a second look.

he'd talk ear level with you, his voice was deep but not rough, speaking in a quiet tone that was just above a whisper. he'd point to the screen with his index finger, gesturing as he explained. his hands were worn but soft, with a gentle touch. when he flexed his finger, you could see his veins underneath.

after class, you met up with your friends for lunch, and you didn’t hold back—telling them everything about your little crush on your professor. as you talked amongst them, you couldn’t help but glance around the room and spot him. the way he carried himself, his confident posture, and how he presented himself to others only fueled your fascination. you were certain of what you wanted, this isnt just a little crush for you. you didn't notice, but the moment your gaze shifted, his lingered on you for just a moment longer than yours had.

a week went by while you teased him, eye contact, small remarks, stuff like that. No changes on this. However, as you were making your way out of class, he surprised you by calling you aside, away from the rest of your classmates. You felt a wave of anxiety as you protested, insisting you had to head to your next class, but he was persistent, urging you to stay just a moment longer. You couldn’t quite put your finger on what you might have done wrong, which only heightened your nerves. Yet, despite the uncertainty swirling in your mind, you found it impossible to refuse him, feeling drawn in by his intensity and the undeniable connection you had built over the past week.

once the last person had exited, the door shut behind them, sealing out all outside sounds, rendering the classroom eerily quiet. the few windows allowed just enough sunlight to filter in, but otherwise, the atmosphere felt heavy and still, as if no one else was present. he studied your eyes intently before scanning your appearance. today, you were dressed casually, clearly burdened by the weight of your studies and not in the mood for any playful banter. he inhaled deeply, adjusting his glasses with his index finger before settling into his chair, sitting with a subtle sense of entitlement.

the silence in the room felt heavy, almost unbearable, as he settled into the chair, creating an unspoken barrier between you. his gaze lingered on you, reading the exhaustion etched on your face, and a spark of concern flickered behind his glasses. the classroom's stillness allowed for a moment of vulnerability-the fluorescent lights hummed quietly overhead, but all you could hear was the soft rhythm of your breaths mingling with the quiet anticipation hanging in the air. You could sense the weight of the day pressing down on both of you.

the stern inquiry hung in the air as he leaned forward, his eyes fixed intently on you, "are you okay?" his voice was firm but laced with a hint of concern. you muttered a quick "yes" in response, your voice barely above a whisper. your eyes darting away from his, unable to meet his gaze. your attention instead shifted to your shoes, as you involuntarily began tapping them against the floor, first on the balls of your heels and then on your toes. His nod of understanding was swift, but his expression remained serious as he continued, "I see you're falling behind in your classes. Have you spoken to a tutor or a classmate about it? Is there something going on that I should be aware of? I'm here to help, if you need someone to talk to." The words were reassuring, but the undertone of expectation remained, his eyes lingering on you, awaiting a response.

he stood up, his eyes fixed on you as he shifted closer, breaking the comfortable distance. “You can talk to me about anything, really,” he said, his voice low and inviting. You fought the urge to lean in, caught in that dangerous space between professionalism and a line you couldn’t take back. the air between you cracked with unspoken words, the tension almost unbearable as you locked eyes, both of you aware of the weight of the moment. Just as it seemed the rest of the world faded away, he took a deep breath, the tension hanging in the air. It felt like you were both on the verge of saying something important—if only one of you would finally speak up.

[whumpisgoodwhumpislife]

In troubled water #7

Masterlist

Who's the best whumpee, creepy abyssal boy or Everest?

During the first few weeks, the creature was always nervous, on the edge. Crawling, lurking in the artificial crevices as if it believed itself in danger, which was likely the case. But it would come out to eat, staying exposed longer and longer each time, which the aquarists saw as a victory. It was harder for them to dive in that tank, since most of it was filled with rocks, but they had decided to keep sending one of them daily. Only a specific person, since it would be easier for the anglerfish to get used to one intruder, and to maybe even trust him. One day.

In the meanwhile, the mer taught them a lot about its species. Deep-sea mers were rare and fearful, studying them in their natural habitat was nearly impossible. Here, they had the chance to see how it interacted with its surroundings.

Its hunting instincts were strong. When it crawled out of the crevices, the aquarists could see it flick its lure from sides to sides, imitating a fish's movements. Easy prey such as fishes and shrimps were released into the tank, providing enrichment and relief to the small predator. Even though it obviously wasn't as efficient as usual, snapping too late, and not fast enough, it would still need to be fed by human hands.

But the angler, even though still wary and skittish, was slowly starting to understand things. In the first weeks, when its caretaker would sit in a corner of the tank, it would stay hidden in the crevices. The device that allowed the human to breathe underwater was loud, too loud in the silence of the water, and it still associated the human presence with threat. One day, it dared to silently squirm out of its hideout, its lure slowly pulsing as it lay there, on the rocky floor, just a few feet away, discreetly observing. The aquarist didn't move, fascinated by the anglerfish mer's otherworldly appearance. Only the thin webbing between its slender fingers had healed; its fins were definitely not growing back, which added into the unsettling effect. They stayed unmoving, silently gauging each other, until the man noticed that he was running low on air. As soon as he made a move to swim back up, the creature darted back in the crevices.

But the important line had been crossed.

Over time, the angler mer was coming out earlier and earlier, its curiosity taking over its fear. Getting closer each time, but still ruffling its spikes and darting away every time the aquarist would move or try to reach out. But after a while, the human realised that it wasn't hiding away anymore, its behaviour closer to... playful?

They didn't know it was something a deep-sea mer would do, being solitary creatures, but it made sense. After all, reef mers and other species had been observed playing hide-and-seek like games, so it wasn't too far of a stretch to imagine that even less social creatures would display similar behaviours. It was oddly endearing, but also a proof that the anglerfish needed more than this tank to keep itself entertained. Despite his efforts, the aquarist couldn't spend all of his time with it, and the creature's crippled state wouldn't allow it to be freed anytime soon.

For the moment, it wasn't displaying any signs of depression or excessive boredom. Time would say.

Taglist : @sausages-things @jumpywhumpywriter @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @thataquaticwhumper @alyscat

@whatamidoingherehelpme @fleur-a-whump @ratsupremacy88 @scoundrelwithboba @phoenixpromptsandstuff

@vampiresprite @neverthelass @worstcasescenariolullaby

[katerinaaqu]

You mentioned this in a post reply that made me remember I meant to ask (as always, just point me if you have already spoken about this): opinion on Agamemnon and Clytemnestra's daughtes?

In the Iliad I seem to remember three daughters are mentioned, Iphianassa, Laodice and Chrysothemis, while in the plays they are usually Iphigenia, Electra and Chrysothemis (bless her unchanging name).

Do you identify Iphianassa as Iphigenia and Laodice as Electra? Or do you prefer them being all different people?

So often female names (not only here) are conflated, recording people probably didn't care enough about them to be precise about it :(

I think mentioning Iphianassa in the Iliad (in the context of being offered in marriage to Achilles) suggests that in that early tradition the sacrifice of one of Agamemnon's daughter had not been added to the canon, both because Iphianassa could be the same of Iphigenia and thus still alive and because offering a daughter in marriage to Achilles after the last time he was 'bethroted' to one ended up being a sham would be tactless to say the least (and Achilles is just so sensitive about honor and pride).

Plus there is that Iliad line listing the throne passing from Atreus to Thyestes to Aga without mentioning the horrors™️, which with Iphianassa being alive could mean at that point of the traditions Agamemnon was just a commander and not the last scion of an extremely cursed royal line.

...unless Homer is alluding stuff that the audience is already supposed to know and offering another daughter to Achilles was meant to make up for that whole fiasco (unmentioned in the Iliad)?

The notes on my Iliad say that the 'embassy to Achilles' chapter may even be a slightly later addition (like possibly the night raid chapter) since later part of the story proceeds like it didn't happen, so this all is speculative squared ahah

Yes I have had a talk with @emmikay in fact on one of my posts about contradicting sources and you can see my reply here:

But the subject is always fascinating!!!!

As I mention to that reply of mine, it is hard to tell whether we speak for example on Iphianassa as the same person as Iphigenia or if it is a different daughter that kinda got lost as a version in the centuries and eventually the two names were used interchangeably for the same person. It is also possible, as I mentioned to that reply of mine, that Agamemnon is insinuating the substitution of his daughter with a fawn as a homeric tradition thus if "Iphianassa" and "Iphigenia" are one and the same person then Agamemnon insinuates a "happy ending" to the tragedy of Iphigenia and her sacrifice (as I mentioned to my reply and that Agamemnon Analysis, the essence of Agamemnon lashing out to Calchas seems to be indicating that Aulis incident is a homeric tradition given how Agamemnon doesn't fully elaborate as to why Calchas "never had a good prediction for him" as opposed to the idea of later on suggesting the marriage of Achilles to "Iphianassa"

Iphianassa seems to be simply an old variation of the name "Iphigenia" given how similar the names are (as opposed to "Laodice" for example) and both seem to be insinuating her noble birth as "Iphi" stands for "strong" (Another character in mythology that has it is for example Heracles's brother Iphicles) and "anassa" means "queen" while "genia" implies "bloodline" so she is named either "Strong Queen" or "Of strong Bloodline". Either way the names seem to be similar so it does seem at times that it is a variant of the same name, although the actual possibility of that being the name of another daughter of Agamemnon seems to be on the table I would lean more towards the first idea, that it is a variation or alternative (one can even blame the metric system in Homer that required the syllables of the name to fit his metric poem) given the lack of sources indicating otherwise.

Frazer for instance supports the idea that Homer didn't know the sacrifice tradition yet or doesn't quote it (explaining the existence of the betrothal with Iphianassa in the Iliad) or that the name Electra was unknown to him but I disagree with the first mainly because of the passage that as I said Agamemnon claims in distress that Calchas always has a bad prophecy for him. It is the second part that I am mostly intrigued by. As to whether Laodice and Electra are the same person or if they are two different traditions. Given how "Laodice" translates roughly as "people's judgement" seems pretty royal name to give. Whilst "Electra" simply means "Amber" or "Of amber color"

I am actually taking a leap here but I feel like Laodice was the name given to her at birth but "Electra" was a nickname given to her because of the color of her eyes or hair or both, pretty similar how Neoptolemus is nicknamed such ("new warrior" or "new conqueror") by Phoenix. In my brain it creates a fine parallel between Achilles and Agamemnon through their children, how their children have a different name by birth and got known later on by another. Of course I have no actual proof on this but it also seems to me like a parallel with Electra's tragedy as well given how Electra brings "justice" or "judgement" upon Clytemnestra later on.

Actually...no offense but I kinda am not fond of this interpretation dunno why, when we always say "they didn't care for female characters thus the names change" because honestly I think it is unfair. We have unchanging or relatively steady names of main female characters in mythology (Helen, Clytemnestra, Penelope, Chrysothemis etc) while others change depending on tradition, local names or history etc. With the same logic why aren't we promoting more that mythology "hates men" when out of the 108 suitors of Penelope only around 20 are named in the Odyssey and out of the 600 men of Odysseus only a handful are named or why aren't we speaking on "erasure of humanity" of characters that their name allegedly changed such as Lygiron being Achilles's original name or Alcides of Heracles etc. I understand of course where the idea and the interpretation comes from but honestly in a world of myths where women play a deuteragonistic role we often see names change indeed but so we do with men who are oftentimes not named at all when they play deuteragonistic role or their origins are misread or misinterpreted or confused or oftentimes is hard to tell who is who (Like Eurybates in Iliad and in Odyssey being unclear if he is the same person or different etc) Hehehe sorry parenthesis closed! back to the original point! -that is just me interpreting it by the way. It doesn't need to be more correct than the interpretation you give, it is just that it is my opinion in regards to the matter that we do not need to see "erasure of women" everywhere. Just that deuteragonists in a story often are indeed not steady or omitted unfortunately-

Anyways moving on; For the line of Atreus and Thyestes not implying the violence in the whole thing seems to me very similar to how the violence of the downfall of Tydeus is not touched in Homer. Tydeus's cannibalism which was the reson of his doom was never mentioned in Homer. If anything Tydeus is being praised throughout the poem and compared with his son. Similarly the way the line of succession between Agamemnon and Thyestes is not mentioned or touched upon can mean to me

It is not directly related to the story and potentially already known and spoken tradition that doesn't require much explaining

Creates character realism, given how the last thing Agamemnon or any of his peers would need would be to mention a story of betrayal and cannibalism before the army.

As you state later, Homer could easily be citing events that most of his readers and listeners already knew too well or were at least familiar with, so he didn't feel the need to elaborate further. The second is that it seems natural for the characters who aim for glory not to mention the least glorifying things of their past because the point would be for the heroes to be seen in battle as they are now and in one way the way that Iliad seems to be creating the pattern of "glorious men that try to reach and surpass the glory of their families" doesn't correspond with the monstrous details of their pasts. But also as I said their past or family lines are not directly linked to the story so they are not given much mention. For example the mention of the coup Hera made IS made mention in the Iliad because it was important for the pleading Thetis made to Zeus.

Of course the possibility any of these traditions not being part of Homeric story and lore or even not be invented till later on is always on the table but personally I like to think that a large number of these were rejected because the story didn't call for them and they had different focus.

Honestly if I had a dime every time we had a theory about this or that part of Homer being "later addition" or "being written by a different writer" came out I would be rich! Hahahaha jokes aside though even if it is valid critisism and a very valid point I kinda do not align with it. Maybe I am too biased with Homer or my own idea that Homer is one writer and that the poem seeming seamless to me but still I am not sure why would that prove the "later adition" thing. Many events in Homer do appear and then they are not mentioned again because they are not relevant to the next parts of the story. See for example the obvious strong bond created between Telemachus and Nestor's son Peisistratus which was mentioned thoroughly during the trip in Telemacheia and never was mentioned again Telemachus mentions his trip to Pylos but never mentions "I made a friend along the way" because it was not THAT strongly relevant to the story which was the purpose of Telemachus being on a cognitive trip to find information on his father. We also do not see much on Helen mentioning the horse ever again even if that seems to be critical to the story of Troy, it is not directly linked to the Odyssey or the messages it wanted to pass. The fight with Irus is not mentioned again in the Odyssey as if it never happened even if it was also another clear event that Odysseus proved his strength and was one of the first steps towards recognition with the suitors etc. The events that are directly mentioned on are usually the ones directly linked to the story (for example Polyphemus, Circe, Calypso etc or in Iliad the taking of Briseis, the wounding of certain heroes or the killing of others and the fear of the people related to them)

Certain events in the Iliad and the Odyssey are being mentioned before (see for example how Diomedes and Odysseus and Agamemnon are wounded in later rhapsodies after rhapsody 11 because their wounds are actually relevant to the story and the way it moves at that spot) as opposed to the one failed attempt to bring Achilles to battle at first. It doesn't seem to be offering any news to the story if Odysseus came out and said "here we are again to you Achilles" given how the reader and viewer already knows that we have an embassy or rather the attempt to give gifts to Achilles when Achilles lets go of his anger free of charge to Agamemnon.

But I agree it is all speculative given the lack of any other information apart from readings and speculations of other writers and scholiasts (ancient or contemporary) which is why the mystery behind the identity or lack of it of Homer is still on and open for discussion.

Hahahaha gosh this got massively long! Hahaha I am sorry! I would love to hear some of your thoughts onto mine! ^_^

[luriddaze]

"the best men are the ones that know when to be prince charming," he spoke, a charming grin on his face. the truth was that reid respected every 'hookup', even if that's all they were to him. he wasn't the type to talk behind their backs or brag publicly. he was a bit of a fuckboy, but he didn't want to fit every stereotype of that title. he also wasn't opposed to finding something real, even if the thought scared the hell out of him. he wouldn't admit it, but jo could easily be the one that changed things if she kept being herself. she utterly fascinated him.

"yeah, it is pretty tempting to just fuck you right here and now, but.. little dangerous, no?" he smirked before their lips were tangled together in what had to be the most sexually tense and passionate kiss he had ever experienced. he hardened more with each passing second, his thick cock straining against the fabric to an annoying and uncomfortable degree. her palm against his bulge, caused a growl into the kiss, feeling himself throb against her. the ding of the elevator saw the doors closing behind them as she jumped onto him, keeping her propped up as his hands rested against her ass. it was virtually impossible to be patient with her wiggling against him for relief, desperate to touch her, taste her, and really feel her. the man groaned into her mouth as his tongue fought hers for dominance. a soft bing could be heard as they made it to the 3rd flow, despite the various other buttons she had pressed in the struggle. reid effortlessly carried her out of the elevator, pulling away only a little to ask, "what room are you in?" he gruffly asked, offering her behind a teasing squeeze.

Despite the fact that her parents seemed like a match made in heaven, Johanna had never believed in soulmates. The way she was drawn towards Reid almost made her second guess that belief. There was something there. Something under the lust and desire. Maybe something real. When she had down time, maybe she'd call her mom and ask her how she knew when she'd found the one. Not that she thought Reid was the one. That would be ridiculous...wouldn't it? "A gentleman? That's usually not the word that comes to mind when I think about you."

Even with every place their bodies were pressed together, it wasn't enough. She wanted closer, bare skin against bare skin. At his question, she raised an eyebrow in amusement, lips curling into a smirk. "I can but I don't know if I want to." Her fingers released the fabric of his shirt, sliding down his chest to hook in the waistband of his pants. Jo glanced over her shoulder as he dragged her onto the elevator, checking to see if anyone else had wandered out of the party. It seemed like the coast was clear. People were under the impression that she didn't like him. Truthfully, she'd never let him close enough to figure out if she did or didn't. That was a quest for another time. She gasped against his mouth as he ground against her. Reaching down between them, she palmed him through the fabric of his pants, eager to see what he was working with. With her free hand, she fumbled for the button for the third floor, hitting a few extra buttons since she refused to pull away from him for even a second. Once the doors closed, the blonde wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She trusted him and his grip on her ass to catch her as she hopped up, wrapping her legs around his hips. A low moan escaped her as she wiggled against him, just as desperate as Reid for any sort of relief.

[abby-the-druid]

Technicolor 6

In which Sakura discovers a supernova.

read on ao3 and ff.net.

prev. chapter | next chapter

Preview:

Then.

Sakura, Sasuke found as the days blended into weeks, did indeed share smiles with strangers as if it was as easy for her as breathing. Small talk came to her as though it were second nature, effortlessly offering feedback to their fellow classmates about their art, providing analysis linking past and current events in their history class, and asking clarifying questions during calculus. It made Sasuke’s head spin, thinking about how many words she shared with people she didn’t know, how often she slipped into a smile and offered support to someone she only recognized as an acquaintance.

He understood that he fell into this latter category, though reflecting on that fact made his stomach twist uncomfortably and a bleak pit to bloom under his navel.

He found himself sitting in front of her in their history class, contained in another musty room with subpar lighting. But with the way the professor valued active learning, their desks were often pushed together and he sat across from her radiation green eyes as she smiled and shared her ideas with the other two members of their four-person squad. He refused to admit that a flicker of jealousy licked at his gut every time she blessed their idiot classmates with a smile or her attention. The boy who was partial to wearing green jumpsuits with a severe bowl cut and thick eyebrows had the ability to make her laugh, a sharp yet pleasant sound that bubbled from her chest, and Sasuke felt himself drowning in the noise, desperately wishing he had the ability to share that part of himself so freely or the skill to draw such mirth from the elf girl.

Their calculus class was bursting at the seams with students, so many were crammed into the small space that as Sasuke sat beside Sakura, their shoulders brushed, which seemed to regularly catch the quiet attention of their silver haired, navy masked professor. The first forty-five-minute period she apologized softly every time she bumped into him, a light pink color dusting her cheeks as her green eyes fluttered between Dr. Hatake, Sasuke, and her notebook. The second-class period she lost some of this embarrassment, simply sent him a lopsided smile as an apology. By the third class, she nudged closer to his side to avoid the sharp elbows of the student to her right.

Sasuke did not take this as a small victory.

He assumed Sakura just didn’t want to be constantly jostled by her other seat mate.

Telling himself this did not stifle the warmth that tinged his ears when she pressed softly against his side, smelling like daisies and coffee.

[gingermintpepper]

I know everyone knows the story of Actaeon and how he met a terrible fate by stumbling upon Artemis bathing in her forest but did you know that Actaeon was Apollo's grandson? That his father was Aristaeus, lord of the bees and the rustic arts and his mother was Autonoe, daughter of Cadmus and princess of Thebes?

Did you know he was trained by Chiron? That he was considered a hunter so skilled his talent was considered divine, that he was his parents' only child and that he was loved?

Did you know the grief that consumed the household when word of Actaeon's fate reached them? That Cadmus cut his hair, that Harmonia wept and was disconsolate and that his parents... well, Autonoe walked the length of the forest, keeping a sharp eye out for her son, but all she saw were the scattered bones of a fawn. Aristaeus too, had heard his son was torn apart and so fruitlessly, foolishly searched for the bones of a man. (There was none to be found)

Did you know that it was Actaeon's ghost, unhappy and unburied, trapped on the earth, who leaned over his sleeping father and told him of his fate? "You will not find me as you knew me, gather me as a stag." And Aristaeus immediately woke his wife and told her the truth, and together they grieved all the night long.

(Did you know that this is why Aristaeus abandons Boeotia? He could not stand the sight of it and so he went to Ceos. And there he slayed the dog-star. And there he became a healing wind. All in the name of his only son, that foolish, beloved Actaeon.)

[prettyhowlett]

I wonder how Varient!Logan wouldve felt if he saw Deadpool with his(? Our Logan's) claws.. would he have a knee-jerk reaction of "what the fuck are you doing? you DESECRATED my CORPSE?!" or just stand there in sick silence trying to not let the idea of him actually dying for real overwhelm him.

[avastyetwats]

Fet was always curious about Quinlan’s past and fascinated with everything he's told him thus far. From how he'd been born and created all the way to present time -- everything in between just fascinated the rat catcher and there was truly no one else like him. To be told history from someone that actually lived it? It was... remarkable, really, but it wasn't just hearing about world history that Fet loved so much, but also learning about him. About the things he liked, or what he disliked. The places he's traveled to that he loved the most and the ones he didn't care to return to. He just... wanted to know him, thus why Fet would sometimes ask a plethora of questions and he hoped Quinlan was never annoyed by them. If he was, or if any questions made him uncomfortable, then he'd stop. "Well, you, uh, you had to eat. May as well make them taste good." He chuckled, though it was a bit of an awkward chuckle, hoping his comment wasn't weird. He meant it to be humorous.

His face beamed when Quinlan complimented his cooking, feeling quite proud and extremely happy. "Thanks." He blushed, taking another bite and swallowing it down. "Cooking is one of my passions, I guess you could say, so when someone enjoys it, that makes me pretty damn happy." Then he shrugged. "But I don't really cook for people. Mostly myself. And my stray furbabies," which wasn't every time they had a meal, since cat food was more important, but he liked to spoil them sometimes. "But if the Borno likes it, well, that's something I can be proud of." Especially since he didn't eat human food, but he seemed to like what Fet fixed him so he was happy about that.

"Repulsed? Nah. It definitely wasn't that." He assured him. "Just strange to them. Like it was to me when I first witnessed it. Eph and Nora, their scientific brains were goin' crazy 's all it was and Dutch? Well, she was amazed by it. But you don't repulse them, believe me on that." Maybe he made them feel uneasy at first, because of what he was, but like Fet, once they started to get to know him, they saw that he was one of the good ones. Nothing like the murderous and mindless strigoi. Though it did take him by surprise how swiftly and roughly the stinger plunged into the blood, like it couldn't wait to drink it's fill. And Fet, once again, was staring. But not because he was repulsed. No. Far from it. Because... well, it was admittedly hot. The way it drank and swallowed and the noises it made and... damn. Down boy. How many times was he going to scold himself, he wondered? And he was staring, which he scolded the others for, so he quickly looked away and focused on his meal again. "Kinda wrong that you're makin' me want some," he laughed with a shake of his head before stuffing his face again.

Fet was full of surprises. He never would have thought he was so soft hearted, but he was. It never occurred to him that he enjoyed to cook either, but the way that he was happily buzzing about the kitchen said he enjoyed it immensely. One thing that Quinlan had learned was that food brought humans together. Maybe even human and dhampir, because here he was.

He’d tilted his head when he talked about seasoning. Of course he didn’t know one thing about cooking, so it could have been anything in his hand and he would have agreed with a solemn nod. It did all smell good though. “ Thia doesn’t smell anything like Doctor Martinez’s cooking. “ Which as he understood it, was very good too, but it was two totally different styles and flavor profiles, different nationalities too.

He rolled his eyes when he said he wanted water, and the half breed went to check the shelves for any glasses. Perhaps they could sit down and have a civilized meal. Fet would like that, he knew. But before he really could, he was offered that bit of steak on a fork. He went to his side and when it was offered he leaned in and smelled as if he were a feline investigating food, then very delicately, and almost bird like, he took a small bite of the steak. Then his face was perplexed. Mm. He could taste a little blood, so that was nice. Then were some things he’d identified when feeding off humans who have eaten. Like he tasted garlic clearly, but there was more, and it was like watching a food critic take careful bites and think about the flavor. Finally, he gave his critique, which came with a satisfied purr.

“ I taste a bit of blood in it. “ He had a tiny smile. “ And a few other things I’ve tasted in my kills. It is.. delicious. “ And that was high praise coming from him, so he took the rest of the bite of steak off the fork and chewed contently. “ Are you quite sure you don’t fancy a bit of blood after that? “ Meaning the steak of course as he joked and went to fetch Fet a glass of water.

[thaliagrayce]

y'know what we don't talk about enough? Hazel died. We talk about how she grew up in the 30's and 40's and we talk about how out of place she feels in the modern world, but! She died! She was dead! She has spent more time dead than alive, and not by a close margin!

How does that effect a person??? We got some of it in the flashbacks, but once those caught up with her present timeline and she shared them, they just kind of... disappeared. And she was a regular girl with some weird past experiences. That's one way of doing it, sure!

I think it would have been a lot cooler if she was just a touch creepier. If she felt a little bit Wrong. Yeah, in general she's more approachable than her brother, she's more sociable and less closed off, but. If you actually spend any time with her, it can be difficult to tell which child of the underworld is actually more unsettling.

Hazel is bright of personality and has a dazzling smile, but sometimes she'll just... shut down. She'll go completely blank for like half an hour and nobody knows what to do with it. Sometimes she forgets she's alive. Sometimes she'll spout the grimmest shit you've ever heard like it's nothing, she won't even notice it's weird until the room goes quiet. She spent decades in Asphodel, which is designed to make people forget about themselves and wander around for eternity, only she didn't have the luxury of forgetting! Wild! After she comes back to life, sometimes she forgets that she's allowed to Do Stuff now. She can spend so long sitting and staring at nothing. Sometimes she'll start crying on cloudless days because it hits her again that she can actually feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and she can hear birdsong. Every little mundane experience is a blessing and she will make you remember that in the most foreboding way possible.