#he cost me $1500 extra this month

[eevachu]

Orange lad update:

him neck still bald but less so

[mousedetective]

Please Help A Queer Disabled Single Mother This Holiday Season?

Hi! I had another help post going around but my mom recently made a Fundrazr for her cataract surgery so I figured I'd update it.

The first sitch: My son, Trace, is disabled. He's not currently on SSI/SSDI, though, so technically he's not supposed to live with us in our senior/disabled apartment complex. We were supposed to move out on October 21st, but we got two extra months from management since he's got a lawyer and is in the process of applying, but we have a month left and the furthest he's gotten in the process is getting the self-assessment/third party assessment filed. We're trying to get him seen by a rheumatologist because we think he has psoriatic arthritis like me but the soonest appointment is January 3rd, so we doubt we'll get an approval before January 1st. Therefor we need to raise $2000 to get movers to pack/move our belonging and get ready to live in the car for a bit while we look for new housing that will take all three of us and our three cats.

The second sitch: About two months ago my mom had her annual diabetic eye exam and they discovered cataracts in both eyes. She was scheduled to have surgery last month, but when she went in for the pre-op appointment they told her she would have to pay for the surgery out of pocket since her insurance wouldn't cover it. Why? Because she had Lasik surgery in the 90s. She and I are both on disability and thanks to loan payments and the like we usually have to beg and borrow to cover rent and all our bills. The surgery itself will range from $1000 to $1500, depending on if the surgeon is still willing to do the surgery at a cheaper price, and the rest is for transportation to and from surgery and check-up appointments for me and her.

So that's what's up at the moment. I have links below for my P@yPal (I also have Venm0 and C@shapp, just ask for them) for help with moving, my mother's Fundrazr and our family Christmas wishlist since we have barely anything to give each other this year.

Any help on any of these fronts is muchly appreciated, and may you have a blessed day if you help or share.

[journeysofpatrickandarchana]

The First Month - by Patrick Dwyer

Original Blog posted: Saturday, 11 May 2013

"The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea." Isak Dinesen

Well as most of you know Archana & I bought a catamaran in the Caribbean and left Sydney on the 18th February 2013 to sail it back to Sydney.

We arrived in St Maarten on the 19th Feb after a 53 hour experience from Sydney. We were picked up at the airport by our engineer who was to check the boat out and fit all the extras. He took us to Anse Marcel a quaint little port on the NW side of the French side of the island that you could be forgiven for missing even from 100 metres from the sea entrance. We spent 5 days there living on 54 foot & 40.7 foot Beneteau Oceanis yachts before concluding the handover of our catamaran with the seller. One final thing had to be done by them to fulfil their part of the contract and that was to check the engine leg sail drive seals as water was noticed in the oil on the second survey. Therefore the yacht was taken by one of the staff of the company I was buying the yacht off with me to Polypat boat yard (an hour’s motor away) to be hauled out for a visual inspection. In trying to get the seal off the vendors engineer took a lathe to it and ruined the major part the seal was affixed to and which prevented the yacht being put back into the water. Having ruined the part we were stuck on the hard stand for 3 weeks whilst another part was shipped out from Belgium. So as the 5 crew (an Australian, Englishman, Frenchman & a couple from Zurich) began turning up for this experience of a life time they had to endure walking up a rickety ladder onto the boat for up to 3 weeks before the new part was fitted and then we got into the water with all our new toys fitted to the yacht i.e. 1500 litre per day water maker, AIS, new plotter, battery monitor, SSB/HF radio, BBQ, microwave, a freezer to add to the 3 fridges already on the boat and oven & 3 burners. The galley has 3 sinks with a 4th outside where fish are slaughtered before being devoured sashimi style or cooked. (Archana is in heaven and queen of the galley). We met some nice people there and invited them onto our yacht for dinner a few times over a Presente or Carab the 2 favourite beers over here.

Here at the boat yard we couldn’t use our water as it would create a flood in the yard so we had to have our shower in one open to the world to see at a cost of 1 Euro (in a pay machine) for a 5 minute cold shower that you had to keep pressing the button during those 5 minutes to keep the water flow coming. I am thinking of putting the same system in at home to get Archana to cut her 45 minute showers down. Here we could both have our showers within the 5 minute time limit which was an all time first. The secret is to now to get her from using 100 litres of water to clean her teeth on the yacht where the two biggest daily issues are power & water usage. The toilet also was an experience in Polypat.

Whilst we were in the ship yard at Polypat we hired a car for 3 weeks that allowed us to see the island, buy things for the yacht including a mountain of food (thousands of dollars worth including 150 litres of long life milk). The crew on our boat must be the most well fed around with Archana’s quality food the crew have also had sorbet, ice cream and several days of smoked salmon for lunch, pancakes, homemade yogurt & pressure cooker made bread. All really yummy. It doesn’t look as though the diet I thought I would be on during this trip will eventuate.

On other purchases two of the crew bought kayaks each so they can have a paddle around in some of the bucket list of places we are visiting. They have had a few places to test them out and others have had a play with them as well.

With the French capital of Margiot only a few minutes walk away we had the opportunity to visit the famous markets there with Archana once again being in her element bargaining with the fish sellers as well as the spice merchants where we made a big spend for the trip. One of the crew doesn’t like spicy food so Archana has been making bland offering to him which he seems happy with. How boring!!!!.

So finally we were off and my first mission was to navigate our new acquisition through the Polypat bridge with wind and current hindering me and being forced to go through the narrow opening at 5 knots to keep my course knowing I only had 2 foot either side. This task was made even more difficult with everyone taking movies and photos and asking me to smile at the worst possible moment. I got through with no mishap which was a blessing as it would have spoiled my year if I had ended up like a Catana 47 catamaran that the owner bailed out at the last minute and did $100,000+of damage to the yacht. This yacht was being repaired 2 boats along from us when we were on the Polypat hard stand and only 150 metres from the bridge. In the time we were in the boat yard we had a bird’s eye view to the many near misses of catamarans going through when the bridge opened 3 times a day.

So we were off and the 1st night we spent 200 metres off the beach at Anse Marcel in a bit of déjà vu considering the dramas that emanated there. The following morning we were off to St Barts, Colin one of the crew caught his first fish, we saw dolphins, turtles and a nude French man who passed us in his catamaran, had a nice lunch, swim and afternoon at a lovely little island near St Barts before entering the main harbour there with multimillion dollar yacht all around. My favourite was a 3 mast mono hull. Each mast was the same height and it had 18 hydraulically controlled sails that covered any space above deck on the whole of this 55-60 metre yacht. We visited the township and completed our formalities before returning to our yacht by tender and had a swim before dinner and the mandatory drinks (for in port use only).

Over the next few days we visited St Kitts, Portsmouth in Dominica (a great yachties place where we visited Indian River where Pirates of the Caribbean was shot, walks through rainforest, bought a hand of bananas with over 120 bananas on it for less than $5 but now we have the mission to eat them all considering they are all expected to ripen at the same time etc) then onto Tobago Cays which was what I expected all of the Caribbean to be about with the marine iguanas, so many turtles, sting rays and lots of other fish in this tranquil setting that Archana said she could spend a week there. They even had the boat boys come around with fresh baguettes and lobsters for sale to cruisers. We then left there for Grenada (the isle of spice) where you see so many waterfalls over the island and every town seems to have at least 10 spice stalls by the side of the road. We were sorry we went on the tour of the island on Good Friday as the rum distillery was closed. They must have known we were coming!!!!

On the way to Dominica we saw a few dolphins and a humpback whale looking over her calf doing 100 or so tail slaps to the delight of Archana & I and the other 5 crew. During the trip thus far I have had a number of new foods not experienced before i.e. Jamaican apple, fresh tamarind and chickoo (sapodillos).

Now I am writing this on the way to Bonaire some 400 nm from Granada. The wind has been right behind us all the way so have been doing it easily with just the headsail out but still averaging over 6 knots but peaking at 12.7 knots with 2 reefs in the headsail and no main sail. Colin caught his 3rd fish yesterday morning, a 90cm barracuda that we had for lunch an hour later. I was amazed how good eating it was as it is something I have never eaten before as you never see it at the fish shops. Yesterday we went within 1 metre of running over a huge turtle at 6 knots. He, fortunately for both of us, turned at just the right moment giving us a fright and also an experience. I saw my 1st Portuguese Man-War today. A huge marine stinger (about the size of a large coke bottle) with colourful sail. So many flying fish that are buzzing our boat constantly along with the birds dive bombing them with occasional success. On the Grenada to Bonaire leg we experienced our first gale as the wind hit 35 knots and 3 metre seas. On most of the other passages we were sailing close hauled with the wind so variable especially when coming out from the leeward side of the islands and into the open passages between the islands.

On the less than 3 day passage to Bonaire we had two days of up to 36 knot winds so it was nice to finally see land and moor up 50 metres off the main road in the capital in 5m of water on top of a coral reef where I have already had a few dives. One thing I am still getting used to is the heat. Unrelenting 30+ degrees every day. On one day I actually got burnt before 9am. Colin caught his 4th and 5th fish another barracuda & a tuna.

So the plan from now is to leave for Panama on Friday night (5th April) 5 days to do the 740nm passage, 4 days to wait to get through Panama, 5 days to get to Galapagos, 8 days there then say 21 days to get to the Marquesas. This is the best estimate I can give at this stage as so many variables to deal with.

Thank you to those of you wishing us your best via Archana’s regular blog and to others send emails etc.

Until the next update from me. Archana will still be keeping you enthralled with her perspective on the big trip on her regular updates on her blog. Only 8285nm (nautical miles i.e. almost double for kilometres) till we are home

[changedlives]

Walking By Faith

Shalom Bishop and Harvest Family! I start this praise report by giving all glory and thanks to our Lord and Provider!! I learned along time ago by Bishops teachings nothing is according to our time or plan but we always walk by faith not sight. Several months ago I made a decision to move from my home due to undesirable living conditions for me and my son. In making this decision I knew I did not have the extra money to cover moving cost but it was either move or suffer for another year. Moving put me behind on my bill budget by about $1500 which I had planned to get back on track with by December. Life be lifeing and that $1500 turned into $2000 due to unexpected expenses.I was then served a rental demand notice on 11/02 and was told I need to come up with 3500$ by 11/09 or I would be facing eviction. I only had $1000 to my name and truly had no clue how I would make ends meet. But I did not complain nor did I walk around wearing my trials on my face . I remained consistent in my word, serving and was patient. And when I say God showed out HE SHOWED OUT! On 11/08 I received a call from my Supervisor informing me due to my work in 2022 I will be receiving a $3000 bonus NEXT WEEK! Not only does that cover my past due balance but can we praise God for overflow!!! It’s win or WIN for us Harvest!!

[mothschan]

I had to think about this a long time and I had talk to people about it. I am feeling bad for having to ask, but I am no having much choice this point. I have tried to keep my personal problems off of this blog. At times this has been really hard because of some of the things I am dealing with. I also wanted this to be a place of peace and escape where people could enjoy themselves and escape reality for a few minutes.

I have bad health problems. Last year when I was making this blog I was healthy but within 2 months I had a huge health crisis and I almost died. It disabled me permanently. I went from having a good job and making enough to pay my bills to not being able to get out of bed for very long. I was lucky to survive, and I will always be greatful for that. There is a lot in my life I have to be greatful for, my family, my wife, my friends. But it messed me up and I am dealing with a lot. And it has been getting worse, my wife found lumps in my back and my arms and they were cancerous. I got them removed but I still have to get treated with several rounds of chemotherapy to be safe. I am in a lot of pain and really exhausted.

Financially I have negative money. My wife has a part time job but he has to be home a lot to help me with transportation and things I cannot do myself. I was given 100$ from some of my friends and that made it possible for me to buy my blood thinners and pain medications. My medicine by itself costs 1500$, and I have to pay about 500$ a month extra for equipment and copays. The costs are going up but I genuinely don’t know what it’s going to go up to. I know the first day of chemotherapy cleaned out my bank account. I don’t know what I’m going to do for next month or my next chemotherapy treatment. Or what I’m going to do about rent.

I am not asking for donations. I really just want to work for any money I get. Please if you can commission me or can just share my commission information it is pinned to my blog. (I appreciate every like I get but they do nothing to help me get exposure) I really need the help and would be forever greatful. I was trying for so long not to beg but I’m at a point where not having money could very literally kill me. I lowered my prices on my commissions to almost half to where I’m basically getting paid 5$ an hour for work, just to try to get people to buy from me but it has done nothing. I have been told many MANY times that my work is worth 2x what I have posted. Please just help me make money for myself. I am not asking you for anything other than that.

I had my wife edit this so it was more understandable, because my language barrier can be a problem for some people.

[cowboyworf]

MENTALLY ILL QUEER INDIVIDUAL NEEDS HELP GETTING OUT OF A TOXIC SITUATION

I hate doing this and have been trying to avoid it, and honestly I don't know if this will even work, but I'm out of options.

I'm living with a very mean roommate, but he has become increasingly controlling and its starting to look like his behavior is going to continue getting worse (hopefully not to the point of physical violence, but s*xual violence has already happened on several occasions).

On top of it, I'm being stalked and harassed by someone- unsure of who, but it must be someone I'm close with. They hacked into my Snapchat and sent my nudes to everyone, including my family. They must know my address, because they're now leaving those photos on my doorstep and, as of yesterday, my neighbors' doorsteps too. They left threatening notes at my job before it closed down, are using multiple phone numbers to leave threatening voicemails/text messages, and have now began to pretend being me over the phone so that they can cancel my weekly therapy appointments. It's getting worse and I'm afraid to leave the house, but because of my ex, I'm afraid to be in the house too.

I have a plan to move in this summer to a place where I'm safe and no one can find me. However, my ex put me in unbelievable debt (we had a shared bank account for a very long time- please NEVER do this) and if I don't get out by the time my lease is up (July), I will never be able to afford to leave.

My family cannot help at all because, after my mother died, my dad lost half of his income. At this point, I don't know what to do and I would just be homeless again, but I can't do that to my cat.

I've added up all of my expenses for moving:

$300 for my cat to get a check-up, her vaccinations, and anxiety medicine for the trip

$220 for a pet hotel (I'm moving nearly 20 miles away and the person driving me does not want to drive that far without a break)

$100 for gas, food, and the fee for the person driving me (that's specifically what they asked for. I cannot drive due to disabilities, nor do I have car even if I did)

$600 to help with last month's rent here (I'm completely out of money and that's half of the full rent)

Anything extra would go to paying my phone bill for the trip, general moving costs, a bus pass so I can travel to possible jobs, etc.

Honestly, $1500 would be ideal, but literally anything will help.

If you are unable to help, please share if you can. If you want something for your money, I can send nudes (not excited about that, but I'm desperate).

Thank you to anyone who shares/donates.

My Venmo is @ shinjiguts

[kurgy]

me: *overwhelmed with being thousands of dollars in medical debt, 300 in debt to my mom, has to somehow raise 3000 before the end of the year to fix my dental issues and each appointment will cost an extra $100, has to buy groceries enough for both me and my roommate even tho he doesnt do the same for me while i make less than 100 a month while he makes 1500 a month, lost my support system and under unbearable pressure, cant afford my medication or HRT, spiraling and manic and finally showing my distress by going nonverbal and tremoring*

everyone around me: so what, are you just like this now? youre obviously upset. i shouldnt have to put up with this. this is about me somehow

[funnylori]

Upcoming doll sales

My husband and I are currently without jobs (he’s been looking since last May!) and while we're going to be okay for a few months, I'd like to do my part to carry our bills and eliminate more debt. I'll be getting photos done slowly over the next couple of weeks, but if you'd like to see anything please send me a message. All of my dolls are legit, always have been always will be.

My prices are FIRM. I don’t have to sell, I won’t make it harder by negotiating. I do not charge extra PayPal fees. No splits!

Shipping is not included. I am located in the USA. Most of these dolls have boxes, if you’d prefer me to ship disassembled to save on shipping costs I can do that. Typically I ship 24-48 hours after full payment. I do ship internationally, but with the current virus situation it may be best to wait some time before shipping. 

Layaway is available for up to 3 months for purchases over $200. All payments are non-refundable.

I am working on photos, but it will take time. If you see something you’re interested in, please DM me and I’ll take photos for you.

Again, my prices are FIRM. This is hard for me and I won’t be selling for less. 

Aileen doll pumpkin mask for dragon $75 sold

Aileen doll dragon Ashes Ver. 2 grey, bad flaky paint job by me that I can wipe for free $250 sold

Aileen doll Ricota $50 or free if you buy both the dragon and the mask sold

Angel of Dream Sinuo, white, default faceup $275

Bambicrony Pingping painted by Glyndon, broken hair $125

Bambicrony Pingping painted by me in green and brown $220

Batchix Player 1 white head with Pipos Belle body in pure white, it’s not a perfect match, but it’s within blushing range $415

Bishonen House Steve with tons of parts, partially painted, $416

Cirque de Fantomes Liana kaiju in bone resin $350

Dollshe Van tan, pre-closing (the first time), comes with bag but it's old and falling apart, $1300

Rhythmos Orijean OE/SA white, extra hands, one broken wrist part, $510

DSAM32 paleskin Orijean OE, really fucked up dyed/spray painted/damaged $250

DSAM35 paleskin Orijean OE white but was a creamy batch, box but no lid $450

Doll Chateau Event William, white, painted by Synthetic Ephemera $150

Dollzone Megi white faceup by me, $230

Dollzone Hid white modified by me and Glyndon to have teeth $240

Domuya Fin, normal skin, hella modified internally and faceup by me $300

Fairyland Real Fee Sira OE NS on body, with box and Haru COA (was a whole Haru, but I split off that face) $250

Magic Mirror Siobhan tan fullset, purchased in person at Dollism+NY, have photo to prove it with the artist, damaged blushing, $500

MuisjePop Wilhelm, comes with tiny ass eyes, custom wig and faceup by me, $80 (I think it's white)

Unidoll UH-17 with default faceup from 2010, not the french resin ver. $535

Unoa OE Sist plate, came from Noppin, 1.5 resin color from 8th preorder in 2010 $50

Unoa Lusis Yawning Face x Little Monica Hot Body and Buff headback, painted by Pez $400

Unoa Chibi Roron Proper face plate with faceup $100

Unoa Paradise Lusis lots of parts and an adorable Pez faceup $1000

Volks Kun ns with damaged AngelToast 2010 faceup $350 sold

Volks Kun ns unknown faceup $350 sold

SDGr Boy Theodore in Boys’ Dormitory Ver. fullset, eyes still in place, plus geta feet $1500

SD16 tan Pearl both leg parts, Volks faceup, glued in eyes, $1300

[bayoubluebirb]

Read This Before Buying A Bird!

There are some things to be considered before going to a pet store and buying that cute little conure or cockatiel in a cage, adopting a bird from a shelter, or homing a bird from a small independent breeder. Addressed questions: How much money are you willing to spend? Are you okay with the possibility of having a furniture-destructive animal in the house? How much space do you have? What is the climate and your neighborhood like? How long are you away from home per day? How much time can you commit?

How much money are you willing to spend on your pet per month?

- I probably spend about $50-$100 on my bird a month on average. On big trips to pick up perches, trees, or cages, it’s more along $200-$800.

- Birds are not cheap. They can range in price, but typically a healthy hand-reared budgie will cost anything from $50 to $100. My Peach Faced Lovebird was $140. I have a male Solomon Eclectus that was almost $2000. African Greys, Congo and Timneh, range $2500-$3500. Macaws range $2500-$23,000, etc.

- Cages are expensive! A good quality cage that is not full of harmful metals or paints, will cost between $200 and $5000. My SL Eclectus’ cage is pure acrylic and was almost $800. He will be getting a larger cage and that is $1500.

- Birds do need annual vet check ups, and they require exotic veterinarians specialized specifically in Birds. Because they need a special doctor, it also costs more. Co-pays are usually around $150-$400, and procedures and medications can be off the roof expensive.

- If you cannot afford to feed yourself, provide yourself with necessities and a couple wants, and are living comfortably, a bird is not the pet for you.

Are you okay with them possibly destroying a few beloved things in your home?

- Birds are often described as animals that take and don’t give back. They are natural foragers, and need stimulation to keep them entertained. Your parrot may chew at your door frames, your door itself, couch cushions, Leather materials, kitchen supplies, etc.

- Birds have extremely sensitive respiratory tracts, so if you aren’t willing to give up that lovely PFAS chemical we Environmentalists like to call The Devil We Know, AKA Teflon, then a bird is not for you.

- If you aren’t willing to trade in bleach, vinegar, non-stick, cleaning sprays and window cleaners, for something organic, trusted and approved by your avian vet, then a bird is not for you. It is much more expensive, but it would not only keep your bird safe, but also you safe!

How much space do you have in your home?

-Even if your bird’s wings are clipped, you need enough space for your bird to spread its wings and maneuver about.

-Birds talk a lot, so if you appreciate your quiet time, don’t get a bird if you live in close-quarters.

-Talk to your neighbors first before you buy a parrot if you live in an apartment or townhome. Yes. The birds will scream. Yes, your neighbors will hear it.

-If you want more than one bird, even if they’re the same specie, never house them in the same cage, even if it’s giant! Birds are NON DOMESTICATED animals, and it’s important we mimic their habits in the wild as to not frustrate them. Birds are animals that while in flocks, are incredibly spread out unless they’re mates or conversing. Birds are always alert, and are watching and listening. They need their space.

What is the climate like yearly?

-Where do you live and what is the temperature in each season?

-Do you get snow in the winter? Many people up north have birds, but it’s also more pricey to own a bird up north due to the extra expenses needed to keep the bird warm.

-How warm/cold do you keep the air on in your house?

-What species of bird are you considering? They come from all different habitats. The Peach Faced Lovebird, for example, is native to sub-desert regions like Namibia and Angola. Probably not a good idea to get a Peach Faced Lovebird if you keep your home below 19°C/66°F.

-Birds NEED vitamins (D3) they get from the sun, just like people! If your weather is consistently unable to provide these vitamins to your birds, you either need to purchase a UVB/UVA lamp, or you just should not get a bird.

What is your neighborhood like?

- Down in Florida, Texas, and many other states with high-demand parrot breeding and shops, there’s a lot of thievery. Make sure you live in a safe environment.

- If you live near chemical/manufacturing plants, or has an immediate family member that does, a bird is not for you.

- Birds are very sensitive to pollution. Please make sure your neighborhood is clean, because not only is it bad for the pets, but also the people!

- How noisy is the neighborhood? Do you live in New Orleans and pop big celebrations for Mardi Gras? Do you live in areas with lots of fireworks or loud noises? This can startle your bird. It can bring them stress!

- If you plan on flight training and/or bringing them outside on a harness, is your town/city very busy? Is there a lot of traffic? Are there birds of prey that live nearby? Hawks WILL and HAVE swooped down to snatch a parrot off of someone’s shoulder for a snack, and have even snatched them out of the sky while free-flying. Please be careful!

How long per day are you away at work/school?

- If you work a full time job and are a college student, you will not have time to take care of a bird and be able to grant your bird’s needs.

- How many hours a day do you work/are away from home? Parrots on average need AT LEAST six to seven hours a day out of their cage!

- Birds need attention, but not in the sense where you need to throw them a ball or cuddle with them. Being in the room with them out of the cage is even plenty to make them happy. They want you to be with them, but not on them!

How much time can you devote to your bird? How patient are you?

- Birds are a lifetime commitment. Depending on the species, your bird can live between 15 and 100 years. Do not adopt a bird unless you have accepted that this bird will be with you through everything. If you move, if you get married or divorced, if you have children, if you get other pets, etc.

- If you don’t think you’ll want the same bird for twenty+ years, do not get a bird. There are countless in avian shelters and sanctuaries right now, and it’s heartbreaking to see. If you wouldn’t sell your child because you got bored of them or were struggling to care for them, don’t sell your parrot.

- Parrots grow extremely attached to the people they’re used to being around, and in that case have many emotions similar to humans. They put trust in you, and rely on you, and love you. Rehoming them after multiple years of building that relationship can cause self-mutilating behaviors, depression, aggression, and even death from loneliness and feeling abandoned. If you cannot handle strong emotions and a deep attachment, a bird is not for you.

- Many parrots love to learn, and many are stubborn. They are extremely smart animals and among the most intelligent in the world, so keeping them stimulated with daily training is essential.

- Birds bite, and when they bite, it hurts... A LOT. I have been bitten until bleeding by an African Grey, I have been bitten by a previously abused Yellow-headed Amazon, I am constantly bitten by my Lovebird that I am trying to train to be less aggressive. Birds bite, and no, if you don’t understand why you aren’t allowed to scream “Ow!” when it happens, a bird is not the pet for you.

- Birds are not dogs, nor cats, nor horses. Negative reinforcement will only enable Negative behavior in your parrot! You must have the patience to, even when they bite you, praise them for it. You want them to know that biting doesn’t get a reaction out of you and that it won’t make you give them more or less attention. They will eventually learn this and try to find other ways of communicating with you.

- Birds do not bite to communicate by nature. You must take time to learn your bird’s body language. They will always give you at least FOUR warnings before they bite you hard. Please, learn to speak to your bird. They cannot learn English fluently like everyone else.

Please, let me know if I should do some more of these helpful pointers! By no means am I insinuating you should not get a bird, because I love hearing about people’s emotions and excitement toward them. They’re wonderful companions. I merely aim to inform people before they make a big lifetime decision like adding a feathered friend into their family!

[hustlemeanokay]

Warning - this got a little long winded... but it’s something that I just... I get long winded about lol. Also - I’m not trying to rag on anyone in the UK who dreams of living here... though I don’t understand it. It’s just - you should be aware and I don’t see this said enough. Yes, it’s delivered in a very passionate way, because it’s shit that is frustrating for people who live here. And I know the UK is far from perfect but the things that y’all do have down, y’all have it down pat. 

Okay, I get that the US isn’t a completely horrible place to live, currently. Like, we don’t get jailed for saying Trump’s a complete and total fucking moron. See, I can say that and not have my door busted in and be hauled off to some hole in the ground as a political prisoner. 

But when I hear people who live in, like, the UK saying they want to move to America... I swear my left eye twitches just a little bit. Like, I get it - the grass is always greener and all that but... seriously? Are... are they serious when they say that? They... they’re aware of the problems... right? 

Not the social and political problems - those are everywhere. There’s racism and sexism everywhere, there’s corrupt politicians everywhere. That’s not what I’m talking about - yes those things need to be worked on but their virtually identical no matter where you are. 

I’m talking about things like... health care. Paid time off. Employment laws. The cost of college. The cost of retirement. Fuck, the cost of living. Those things. These systemic problems that are just... glazed over. That effect every single person in this fucked up country. Unless you’re of the super rich - every single one of these things are a problem for you. 

Health care. They’re trying to get the whole pre-existing condition thing rolling again. Where, and I’m not even kidding, Trump’s dumbass admin is trying to roll back the Affordable Care Act - which would once again put pre-existing conditions back into play... which pregnancy was considered a pre-existing condition. I wish I was making this up. That’s just a small window into how fucked the system was and could so very easily be again. By the way, the ACA didn’t happen until the mid-90′s. So my generation is the first that was able to actually get pregnancy fucking covered under insurance with no bitch-sessions. And, just for comparison - for the UK peoples out there, we paid over $4000 for the delivery of our son over ten years ago and we had extremely good insurance then that we paid over $800 a month for at the time. That was just his bill, not mine. Just for him. Also - for example... we have insurance, it’s not great insurance but it’s insurance. We pay about $100 a week for it through my husband’s company now. And, to date, this year... we’ve paid... out of pocket, not including the company’s one time benefit of $1500 on an HSA card which is nice but ultimately gone in a heartbeat, so, out of our pocket... not including premiums... we’ve paid almost $10,000 in medical expenses. Only $1000 of it is out of ordinary, for my husband’s procedure that he had to have. The rest has all been RX’s, doctor’s visits, and labs. So yea. There’s that. 

Paid time off. You’re fucking lucky if you get any of that here. That’s why companies tout it as being a benefit. “Oh, this company has good benefits” Good benefits = they actually offer insurance, doesn’t mean it’s good - and you get some semblance of paid time off. Companies here aren’t required to pay you anything extra for working on national holidays and they don’t have to give you any paid vacation or sick days, at all. They are only required to give you maternity leave of 6 weeks or paternity leave, if you request it but none of that is required to be paid either. There’s Family Leave, also not paid time off. And, they will and can do anything to get around paying time and a half for overtime. And, getting into the whole Employment laws thing - companies rely on people not knowing the laws so they can get away with shady ass shit. This happens everywhere, from the corner store and the fucking McDonald’s all the way up to corporate offices. 

College. HA! There are a million bright brilliant people in this country that don’t have a degree because they couldn’t afford to go to college. Or, their parents made just a smidge too much for them to qualify for financial aid and they didn’t want to be burred under a mountain of debt. We’re talking tens of thousands of dollars of debt, what a way to start your life out, huh? Four years at a University? You’re easily looking at $40,000 plus. Easy. Like, wouldn’t be hard to do at all and that’s not even the “best” University either. That’s just like... that one over there. Oh, and student loans? Yeah, interest is charged on those bitches too. Can’t pay them? Oh don’t worry, you can put them on hold for like 36 collective months or something, but they’ll still accrue interest the entire time. And that interest isn’t fixed either, it’s variable. So, good luck with that. 

Retirement? Fuck that. You better hope and pray that social security is still around. For some, even if you do what you’re supposed to and can actually squirrel some away for retirement - you can have some rich fat fuck in an office somewhere decide that he wants your money instead and bam, your retirement is just gone. And that’s assuming you can even afford to have any of your paycheck set aside. Because the cost to live in this country can be insane. True, there are rural places where the cost of living is cheaper but you also don’t get paid shit there either. 

And you still have medical bills when you’re old. What about Medicare, you might be wondering? Oh - you mean medical insurance for the elderly? That shit’s not free anymore. Sure, going to the doctor might be. But if you need an ambulance, you’re still fucked. If you need a prescription? You’d better hope you signed up during that small window for your prescription drug plan, which carries a monthly premium, so you can get your prescriptions. Because, old people never need those, right? And what about care? Well, Medicare will cover some care, like certain kinds of home health care. But not all. And if you need to go into a nursing facility for longer than 100 days? You’d better hope you got buku bucks because Medicare only pays for 100 days. Then, you’d better magically grow younger or some shit. Or, hope you’ve been paying for nursing home insurance. And, hope you’ve been updating that policy to reflect the insane rising costs of those places. Or, if you’re lucky, hope you’ve got family that will help take care of you. To get Medicaid though, you can’t have more than $2000 in assets, at all. That includes life insurance policies with cash values. You can keep your house and like one car but that’s it - and you can’t rent that house out or sell that car once you get Medicaid or you’re benefits can be interrupted because somehow, you can turn $500 into $2000 or something. And - this is the really shitty part, say you are in a nursing home and you do manage to get Medicaid. Medicare still won’t pay a dime to the facility but Medicaid will. But... they’ll also take your entire social security check minus $60 a month. So, if you do still have a house and a car to worry about that you cannot rent out, you’ll have to somehow make that $60 pay for any incidentals you might need (think soap... toothpaste... deodorant... your favorite candies... you get the idea) and for property taxes... insurances... all of that. So... good luck with that. 

Basically... the slogan here is that you can have the American dream if you work hard. But what they don’t tell you is that even if you do get it? You’re probably not going to be able to keep it. 

You can work your ass off your whole life, get that house, build a small business, make it. Not get filthy rich, but do okay. And then you get old and can’t work anymore but it’s okay - you’ve managed to save a little and you’ve got your social security so you’ll be okay. Until you get sick. Or your health starts to go downhill. Then, you’ll watch all that you worked so hard for have to be sold off just to pay your medical bills and go to pay for your care. If you’re lucky, you’ve got kids that can help. But someone, either you or them, is going to have to lose something in order to pay for your care. 

If you aren’t rich, you’ll still not be able to make it. There’s never a break.

For a country that’s all about freedom... you’ll never have a single moment where you’ll be free. 

And for those in the UK starting to go off about VAT. We still pay taxes. We pay sales tax, property taxes, extra taxes added to our gasoline, to the liquor, to the tobacco products, to fucking tampons! We pay licensing fees, renewal fees, tag fees, registration fees, vehicle sales taxes and title fees. We pay federal income taxes, many states pay state income taxes, fuck - some cities have city income taxes. We have toll roads and toll bridges. We still pay taxes on top of all of this. So give me fucking VAT any god damned day of the week if it means I can go to the fucking doctor and not drop $200 fucking bucks just for them to renew the same fucking prescription I’ve been on for years so I can go to the pharmacy and pay $30 for a generic RX for one month. 

[skybound2]

More WTFery with the US health insurance system.

So last year I skipped my annual MRIs. Both because I was too busy and didn't feel like wasting my time in that damn tube but ALSO because my deductible was $1000 and I didn't really have the money just laying around. AND since I'd been doing well all year, it didn't seem like a big deal to just skip them.

Now flash forward to THIS year, and I go to my Neurology check up and my doctor DOESN'T yell at me for skipping my MRIs (because I AM doing well!) but he DOES say that he wants me to get them done in the next few months and then come see him again in May just to be sure.

So I of course say FINE and I get on the phone with the imaging center I used last time, KNOWING that my deductible is now $1500 but HOPING it'll some how be LESS than that, when they tell me it'll actually be $1546! Because the cost is MORE than just my deductible so I have to pay some extra for coinsurance because the US health insurance system is total shit.

I explain that I can't afford that right now and ask if they have a payment plan. The person on the phone (who seemed honestly SURPRISED when they quoted the price to me) is understanding and says they will have the finance people call me back. Which they DO.

At which point they tell me that I can pay 50% up front and 50% later. I say thanks but no thanks, I'm going to shop around first to see if I can get better pricing at another imaging center (because Capitalism). They agree that I should do that because the price is ridiculous AND THEN they tell me that if I can't find better pricing elsewhere using my insurance, that if I go through them WITHOUT using my insurance that the total cost will be $1100.

Like, WHAT?!? WHY IS THE COST MORE IF I USE INSURANCE THEN IF I DON'T?!? HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE!?!? WHY AM I PAYING YOU HUNDRED IS DOLLARS A MONTH FOR YOU TO OVERCHARGE ME FOR MEDICAL SERVICES MY DOCTOR SAYS I HAVE TO HAVE!?!

*CUE SCREAMS OF RAGE*

I mean I guess I shouldn't be at all surprised. This is the same damn insurance plan who thinks it's REASONABLE to try and have me pay $1000 A MONTH for my medication. Something I only manage to avoid doing because THE DAMN MEDICINE MANUFACTURER waives the cost for me!! Like this is medicine that I NEED to take to slow the progression of my illness and my insurance thinks that $1000/month is reasonable for me to pay for it.

This freaking country. I swear. We're going to be paying back our student loans until we DIE and any spare cash we save up is spent on medical shit.

[drferox]

Pet Insurance

To be honest, I'm not totally convinced with this whole 'Pet Insurance' thing.

It certainly exists, and it's becoming increasingly common, but it's not exactly a good product and it's getting harder to recommend to my pet owning clients, as well as a general pain in the patootie to get money of sometimes. I have to say, I'm becoming increasingly disappointed and disillusioned with it.

I got curious the other day and looked up what it would cost me to get Accident & Illness cover for Trash Bag. No preventative care (it's cheap enough for me anyway as I can do a lot myself), just for sicknesses and illnesses. He's a 2yo neutered male, indoor only cat. He's a really low risk cat, and that's a quote without pouring through his medical history or pre-existing conditions. Even though any issues he'd had before taking out insurance would have been automatically excluded.

And it's still about $600 for the year, with only reimbursing 75% of the bills back, with no excess. What that means in real terms is that I'd have to have a $1200 vet bill in order for me to break even with pet insurance.

That would be plausible, with the median sort of 'expensive' vet bill for a stay at a 24 hour clinic or major surgery being around $3k, but the odds of that actually happening for me are extremely unlikely at his age.

Now, it might be a good deal, if I could expect to have that rate for his entire life. But that isn't going to happen.

Pet Insurance in Australia will guarantee 'lifetime cover' but what that means is not that you're paying this rate for the animal's entire life, but that they will give you a new offer of cover every year and it's up to you to accept it. They can't stop covering my cat, but they can make it more expensive every year so maybe I'll stop covering my cat. If they don't want to cover me, they will make me an offer they hope I will refuse.

Let's say I have a lot of small claims. The insurer might amend their letter of offer to include a $100 excess. That means I have to pay the first $100 of any vet bill on my own, and now they reimburse me 75% of the rest. So for a $100 vet bill, I can't claim anything. For a $200 vet bill, I get $75 back, and I'm still paying at least $600 a year at this point. Now I need a $1500 vet bill to break even.

They may also limit the amount payable for certain types of things. For example, a lot of the Australian policies have a $300 annual limit on consultation fees. In practice that translates to about 5 consults with a general practice vet, or two with a specialist. That's not a whole lot if you've got a pet with something chronic.

Tick paralysis and cruciate ligament injury have annual limits to their payouts too, and they're not quite what these things would really cost to treat.

And to add to the deception, some insurers will exclude bilateral conditions. If your pet had a sore eye one year, they may exclude all eye conditions going forward, even if they're not related, and even for the unaffected eye. Sometimes they will exclude unrelated conditions for the same organ system. Demodex as a puppy? Wont cover skin allergies now.

Pet insurance works like a bet. You're betting that your pet will get sick, and the insurer is betting that it wont. If you win, you get paid out.

But if the insurer doesn't like those odds, they change them, or they change the rules for the payout. They're not going to lose, they're going to change the rules to make sure of it, and you either agree to their terms or you stop playing.

So how do they make you stop playing?

The insurer is entitled to increase the cost of the pet insurance policy each year, based on the age of the pet and previous claims. Or they can increase the excess you pay for each claim. Or they can exclude covering conditions that you've claimed for in the past.

Progressively, it gets more and more expensive to cover your pet for less and less, and this is something veterinarians are progressively less happy about.

Now, if we were talking about a car and not a cat, you could take your quote and shop around for a better deal. But the catch with pet insurance is that if you switch providers, then suddenly everything you've ever claimed for, or that appeared in the medical history, now counts as a pre-existing condition and wont be covered. You lose coverage by switching providers, and probably don't save all that much.

Oh, there is, to my current knowledge, only two insurance underwriters for pet insurance in Australia right now. So of the 200 or so brands out there, 199 are actually all written by the same mob. Because that's not ripe for corruption at all...

Every 12 months, the insurer can review and change your premiums, excess, excluded conditions and rebate rate.

And unlike human health insurance where you scan a card, the total comes off your bill, and you pay the rest, with pet insurance you're still paying the vet clinic everything up front, and then get money back after your claim is processed, which may be a few months.

Pet insurance companies are really trying not to pay out, they want to make money, not give it away.

This makes writing medical histories a little bit tricky, because it's not vets reviewing the history to decide what they will and wont pay out on. If the insurance employee doesn't know what pemphigus folleaceous is, they might decide not to pay out. Then I have to call them up, request a review, talk it through, or send more documentation to explain what's going on.

Pet Insurance requests, demands, access to the pet's medical history. It's not like human insurance where they just see an itemized invoice. And this makes vets not entirely happy about handing over medical histories all the time when client's money is at stake. Especially when any potential mention of a vaccine preventable illness gets the whole claim thrown out, even if it's in the differentials list and not the final diagnosis.

So pet insurance is nice to have if you end up with a single, large vet bill, but it's not so helpful for chronic conditions, and you still need access to that cash BEFORE you get any back.

So, honestly, it just wouldn't work for me, and I'm a vet.

The point I would like to get to, other than Pet Insurance in general needing to be better regulated and honestly a bit of a gamble, is that is can't be used as a solution to everyone's problem, especially after a pet is already sick. You still need cash to pay the bills up front, even with pet insurance.

There are other options besides pet insurance. I can never recommend against it, but I do recommend people understand what they're signing up for, and as long as they've got some sort of plan in place for paying vet bills that's okay.

Popular in my area is just using a mortgage redraw facility. With these home loans you can pay extra into your mortgage each week/fortnight/month and it counts against the interest you pay, as a method to pay it down early. But because it's being paid 'early' you can withdraw the extra funds again if you need them, such as for a vet bill. It functions like a savings account, but you're paying down a debt you already have instead of accruing interest.

An emergency credit card is another option, one you just keep paid off unless you genuinely need it.

And 3rd party payment plans exist. Most vet clinics will not do their own payment plans, or will not admit to ever offering them, because we simply don't want people to rely on the vet clinic, a small business, taking on the financial risk on behalf of the owners because, frankly, most people never pay. This is especially true if the pet dies. A clinic might offer them for immediate life saving treatment if they know the client well, but the emergency last resort should never be anybody's number one plan. That's not fair.

Wonka also does not have pet insurance. I asked a couple of insurers at an industry exhibit once whether, because he has a neurological condition, whether he'd be covered for a broken leg if he fell off the couch. And none of them could assure me they would, in case in fell off because of the neurological condition. And that was not reassuring.

So when do I recommend pet insurance? Well I kind of don’t, specifically. I advise which companies other clients have been happy with, and what sort of things a pet owner needs to look for in terms of exclusions, limits, and fine print.

There are always some breeds I do recommend it for, because they are disasters waiting to happen, and for many young animals when the insurance is still cheap, nothing is pre-existing and we don’t yet know if they have a congenital condition, at least for that first 12-18 months of life. There are some you can look at as puppies and be highly suspicious this animal is going to be a money sink.

I see a lot of internet comments saying “should have had pet insurance!” or “go get pet insurance!” on various posts about affording pets or vet bills or emergencies, but pet insurance doesn’t help at all in these scenarios. Pet insurance gives you money back, you had to already have had money in the first place to take advantage of it. Pet insurance is no panacea or cure-all.

I just have a savings account. Putting aside what you would have paid in pet insurance anyway is a decent estimate for how much you’d need to save for a normal pet.

This post was accessed early by my Patreon Supporters.

[ericleo108]

Video Journal 02/13/20 - Published 108

Hey, welcome to the Journal for Thursday, February 13th, 2020 “Published 108.” 

My name is Eric Leo, I’m a sociologist, social psychologist, philosopher, author, and hip-hop artist and this is my journal where I talk about myself and my philosophy! 

108 Book

I published my book. I have received copies and everything looks good. You can buy “108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness” online through my publisher at Author House. Thank you for your support. I wish I had money to invest in promoting it but I don’t. I’m going to try and send some copies to select people and promote it to other blogs.

Moving, Diet, and Exercise

I moved into my own apartment at the beginning of January. I am much happier. My mother helped me get settled, afford basic necessities, and some work out equipment. She bought me a Bowflex 5.1 work-out bench and 552 series select-tech dumbbells. I work out 4-5 days per week. 

On February 12th I weighed 242.4 pounds, so I’ve lost about 8 pounds since December 30th, 2019 when I weighed 250 pounds. I’ve lost less weight than I expected but I’ve been working out so I’ve probably been gaining muscle and muscle weighs more than fat. I just started taking measurements of my chest, stomach, and butt to make sure I’m making progress. I know I’ve been making progress because my pants fit better.

I started biking on my budget Peloton. I started out at 10 minutes per day and it was hard. I increased it by 5 minutes every week. Now I’m up to 30 minutes on the bike on days I work out. I put on a playlist of the late shows from the previous night and watch them while I ride. I have a pretty good system down. It keeps me motivated and gives me structure but is also why I don’t work out on Sundays and Mondays because there was no late show the previous night. I’ve been drinking my GFuel every morning as a pre-workout.

After I get done with the bike I do a muscle group of weight lifting like chest, back, shoulders, legs, or arms. I’ve been keeping myself sore. I had an issue with my right arm feeling pain but I stretched my peck and got a check-up at physical therapy and all has been well. All systems are a go. 

I used to exercise like crazy in high school and college and was, what most would consider, ripped. I still have a lot of the muscle underneath all my fat and I plan to get back to being ripped. I hope to get a chin-up bar and gravity boots to do pull-ups and inverted sit-ups after I get below 200 lbs… like I also used to do back in the day.

I’m on Atkins or a ketogenic diet, it has been a lot better for my acid reflux. I keep a calorie deficit on my diet while staying in ketosis. I’ll cheat with carbs every other weekend. I try not to cheat on calories. I don’t count calories like I used too back in 2017 although I guestimate often. I probably get around 1000-1500 calories per day, burn 3-500 calories working out with 50-60 grams of protein, which I understand is less protein than recommended. My biggest concern is getting enough protein for my workouts and to maintain muscle mass as I lose weight. I stay in ketosis so my body burns fat and not muscle. I do intermittent-fasting and only eat between 1 and 9 pm, usually. I eat a lot of nuts, cheese, pickles, greens, carrots, protein powder, eggs, chicken, and diet pop.

Stem Cells 

I recently saw Joe Rogan’s podcast #1066 about stem cells. I didn’t know it could be used to cure autoimmune diseases. I also didn’t know it could be used to regrow tissue like in tendons. 

I personally got excited when I heard about the capabilities of stem cells. In 2010 I had a scope on my knee for a multi-lateral meniscus tear.  It hurts most days by the end of the day. So I looked into getting an injection of my stem cells to regrow my meniscus and it’s not covered by medicare because it’s not yet approved by the FDA. I can’t afford the 5-7 thousand dollars it would cost to get the procedure. I’m disappointed in America but hope it will be approved and available within the next couple of years. 

Living On Disability

I look forward to having a conversation with the nurses that work at St. Joseph Community Mental Health when I get my shot each month. I still don’t have Hulu, I can’t afford it yet. I plan on canceling my audible subscription this month to save some money. They’ll pull me back in eventually with another free trial like they always do. 

My credit score dropped 12 points from 807 to 795 since December 20th, 2019 because I have a couple of hundred dollars on my credit card after buying that GFuel, audio interface, and moving expenses. Like I explored in the last journal when you only live on several hundred dollars a month and can’t make much extra money it’s hard to afford much. I have been utilizing the local food bank to save money on groceries. I’m on a spending freeze until I get it paid off. I’m focused on paying off the balance. This means spending little to no money on gas. I really want my credit score above 800 again. 

I can’t smoke weed in my apartment without being evicted so I’ve basically quit after years of daily smoking. I only smoke with friends away from my apartment now; usually about every other weekend. Apparently, I can have a cat if I want one though. 

Make America Think Harder

I want to vote for Bernie Sanders as long as he wins the primary and it seems like he will. My second choice is tied for Yang or Warren but I would be happy with Buttigieg. I’m not a fan of Trump, although I respect the president, I will be voting for whatever Democrat wins the primary. Besides being with Emma Watson, there’s nothing I want more than Bernie to win the primary and election.

It’s worth mentioning I support term limits for congress and the supreme court. They should have to live with the laws they enact in the private and public sectors whichever they choose to pursue after their term. I also think they should be paid retirement wages from social security and have the same healthcare from social security just like everybody else. If they want to improve their standing while in office, they have to do it for everybody. 

The last journal I said I wanted to be a professor. I am also thinking about being a real estate broker or agent, get my real estate license, and also build wealth through real estate investing. It will probably take me a year or two for me to get where I want to be health-wise and solidify what I want to do. Both being a professor or real estate guru has been an appealing career for me for a while. I would be happy with either or both and could still pursue being an author and hip-hop artist.

In Conclusion

Check out the Treatise and Journal Description List

Thank you for being here Thank you for watching, Thank you for being a part of my family You're awesome! I love you very much

[cassiebones]

Well, my brother stole $1200 from me.

I know I haven’t really been all that active on Tumblr, but there’s a reason for that. You see, a few months ago, I finally got a car and to make some money, I was delivering for Uber Eats, Postmates, Grubhub, etc. I was doing pretty well at it, too. I was able to keep up with my bills, rent, and save up some money. My car is pretty old (2000 honda accord) so I knew that I was going to have to pay for repairs sooner or later. Since getting it, I’ve had TWO flat tires, and some heating/AC problems, but nothing major until now.

Just recently, my transmission started acting pretty funky and I had no idea what was going on. I figured it must have been the cold (NY winters are no joke) but the other day on my way home, I was picking up something for dinner. I was out of my car for all of 2 minutes to run in and grab my pre-ordered dumplings and soup. 

I got back in my car, started up the engine and....nothing. Car won’t move.

I waited ten minutes and tried again.

Nope. Car still won’t run. 

I call my dad. He can do nothing about it.

I have to call for a tow. Thankfully, I have Statefarm and they have roadside assistance so it doesn’t cost me anything, so long as I wait just 90 minutes. I eat all my food while I wait. Thankfully, my heater is working even though the transmission is dead.

I get home 2 hours later, frustrated. I look up how much it’s going to cost me to fix my transmission and the lowest estimate I can find is about $1500. 

Great. Fucking fantastic.

At this point I should mention that I recently got a rather well-paying job. I’m still in training, but I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to keep it and do well at it. It will at least help me pay all my bills and a little more. I can add to my savings.

Only, I don’t have any savings anymore.

Because my brother stole my savings. $1200. TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. The worst part is I can’t even explain how, because I don’t really understand what happened. As far as I know, he was sending me money through Paypal and asking me to send it back through Cashapp and it was completely legit. He had some kind of client paying him for something...idk, I didn’t ask because it didn’t feel suspicious to me. As far as I knew, the accounts he was sending from were his. They even used our last name. 

But I guess not, because whomever the accounts belonged to started making claims on Paypal, saying that I didn’t deliver their goods or whatever and I was so confused because they sent the money like a dozen times over the course of a month???? Like??? Why would you send money more than once or even twice if the person wasn’t delivering what you were paying for???? 

I have no idea, but now I’m out $1200 because of some kind of scam that either this guy or my brother was pulling and PayPal apparently can’t do anything and my brother obviously spent all the money he had and I’m sitting here with a broken car and no way to make that extra income that I had previously relied on. Plus I now have to spend money on bus and train fare to get around again. Money that I’m much rather be spending on gas. I still have to pay car insurance, for obvious reasons, and I’m going to need to travel for my new job to a place that is too far from either the bus or train stops, so I’ll probably have to pay for ubers and lyfts, which is just....

fucking great.

Anyway, this is the long-winded way of saying that I need help. Bad. I’m more than willing to take commissions (both writing and drawing) for any amount. I do fanfiction and fan art (I have to know the show/work in order to do the fan commissions) and I draw OC’s if you want them. So, if you want to donate, he’s a link to my GoFundMe. Please consider donating and if you can’t or don’t want to, that’s fine, but please reblog/share this post. It would really help me out.

Thanks.

[deadinsidedressage]

Examples of my Classism & Elitism

Just helping @waywardequestrian back up her claims.

1) My accommodations for my horses growing up. My family had enough money to keep our horses on our property which consisted of dirt floor stalls so warped be repeated cleaning of wet spots over the years that I horrifically sprained my ankle in 2015 taking a misstep into one of the craters. Whenever I asked my parents about getting stall mats I was told that was too expensive and we couldn't afford it. I also had issues every year with the horses getting thrush and weak hooves from the foot-deep mud that made up about a 1/4 of the pasture (and was right outside the stalls) that existed about 1/2 the year since we live where it rains a lot. The two times my parents had enough money to buy me a truckload of gravel to try and fix it; it hardly made a dent and I was told they could only afford the one load.

2) My "arena" growing up. It's an empty grass lot that's wider but shorter than a small dressage ring. It also was horrifically rocky. Whenever I asked if we could put sand down and I offered to do it myself if they just bought it for me I was told we could not afford that. I did my best trying to clear out the large rocks, diligently taking a big fence post pry bar out there to remove the big ones every few weeks, filling in with dirt and hoping that by doing that I was reducing the risk of my horse taking a bad step and being hurt. I was lucky though that my neighbor would periodically run his riding lawn mower through it to keep the grass low. I tried a few times to keep a temporary fence up but ultimately the blackberries would just eat it up anyway so over the years I lost more length and width to that. My horses learned uberstreichen from me ducking to avoid tree branches I was in a constant battle with.

3) My parents couldn't afford to buy us (I have a sister who rode for a while) our own horses, so for the first few years we were given our cousin's pony to learn on and share. Then my mom careleased an old retired WP horse for a bit before having to send her away because she had eye problems and we couldn't afford the medication. For 3 years we shared an Arab pony who was 4 when my mom bought her for less than $500. Eventually we landed with two careleased Arabs, one who was 21 when we started leasing her and one was 7 when we started leasing him. After looking after the gelding for 7 years, his owners announced they wanted to sell him. We couldn't afford what they asked and he was ripped from our family after 7 years of an spoken agreement that he would be ours permanently.

4) Our first year in USPC we couldn't take our horses to any of the lessons because our parents couldn't afford a horse trailer. When we did finally get a trailer it was so ancient that the tackroom floor was rotting out. I lived in constant fear my shitty little saddle would fall through and be lost forever during one of our trips to the twice monthly USPC lessons we went to.

5) When my parents finally were able to buy me a horse, our budget wasn't supposed to be over $1500, but my mom got an extra $500 by selling some of her personal tack for the Arab mare she bought 1 year before becoming pregnant with me. She'd bought that mare for $700 dollars and she had to ask my grandfather to loan her the money so she could buy her. Mia was $2,500 but my mom had fallen in love with her personality so she negotiated to pay for her monthly. She paid $150 a month for her and they only agreed because she was a broodmare they had sold to riding home, had to rescue her from it, resold her to another riding home and then had to rescue her from that, and they were trying to get her off the property to make room for the valuable horses.

6) This or some variation of this was what I looked like the majority of the time I was growing up. My boots were an extra wide calf because my dad had actually bought them for my mom. I'm a regular calf. I wore them until they literally came apart, took them to a cobbler to get a repair that lasted a bit, and then wore them completely through again. Whenever I had to walk on foot somewhere with them my socks would get soaked from the holes in them. My show coat was a boys sport's jacket we got at Goodwill. My saddle was a shitty and ancient Steuben that did not fit my horse, actively caused saddle sores, and which forced my leg so forward I battled a chair seat. But my mom got it for $100 and it's called an all-purpose so can't you just do dressage in it? I also didn't have access to private lessons. I got my twice a month group Pony Club lessons.

7) When I was 13/14 I got really serious about horses and wanting to progress. I had to beg my mom for about a year to get private lessons and the deal was that I could only have two a month on the opposite weeks of Pony Club. My sister had pretty much stopped riding by then so it was a lot more doable financially and my mom was finally working full-time. As it became obvious I didn't have the right saddle, the right arena at home, the right clothes; I had to work to get access to those things. I luckily had a knack for braiding and lived close to a prominent show ground; I worked the shows and made enough money to get a dressage saddle, to get boots, to even get as basic of things as stable wraps for my horse.

8) As a 15-16 year old I worked as a WS for a hunter/jumper trainer in order to get weekly lessons. She wasn't against me for not having a TB or a WB, she honestly put in a lot to make things work for us and really liked my horse--- she did however exlcude me from opportunities I couldn't afford. I couldn't afford to do the rated shows, so I didn't. The year she thought I could take the school horse for one show she passed me over for the girl whose mom would pay her. I would've worked it off but that wasn't good enough.

9) This is the horse I competed for 10 years. She's standing on a hill so you don't get the best picture of her confo and this as all I could drag up. Long backed, downhill, weak hocks. Not exactly the perfect dressage or jumping prospect. Between ages of 14-16, I developed a lot as a rider. One of my trainers through Pony Club saw this development as a great time to try and rip me from this sub-optimal mount and stick me on one of his horses I could lease because I wouldn't progress on this horse. He didn't want to work with a downhill, long backed APHA that was deeply under conditioned and not professionally trained for where I was starting to head. The emotional abuse I sustained from that trainer-student relationship still effects me. But how could I tell Mr. Watson that not only did I love this horse, but that we couldn't afford a different horse.

10) 14-16 were tough years for me mentally as an equestrian. While I had one supportive trainer I actually worked for and lessoned with; the presence of the other who continually rubbed it in my face that my horse wasn't meant for dressage and jumping made me fall into that "I'm an underdog" toxic mentality that I've been talking about on this blog for years. For as much fuel as deeply hating someone tellimg me what I couldn't do there was a greater presence of a "woe is me the world is biased against us" attitude. Any bad scores were "because the judge hates non-Warmbloods" and not because I had a horse that struggled with being on the forehand. Not placing well in jumping was because "I don't have as much money as they do" and not because my equitation was mediocre at best and I chipped-in to every fence.

11) I went about 6-9 months without professional training at all because I was so disillusioned with it (again, despite having had a trainer who was trying to work with me and my horse) and managed to sort some things out on my own given the foundation I'd received from the h/j trainer.

12) I took the very strong foundation that the one trainer who was there for me throughout that period gave me and took my embittered 17 year old self off to an "unconventional" "morally superior" trainer who would turn out to be an opioid addict with more bravado than talent. Thinking I was such a supremely talented but underrated rider, I didn't develop as much as I could have and I wasted a lot of money where I shouldn't have. I wanted to do rated shows (and actually the opioid addict wasn't the worst dressage trainer) but was actively discouraged because "they won't score you what you deserve it's a waste of money"--- not true. My opioid addict trainer also wanted to take credit for the development of my horse's canter (she used to cross-fire and be so strung out) but literally couldn't get that canter out of her when on her. Realistically, given the right opportunities falling into place I could have probably knocked out my Bronze and part of my Silver on that horse in high school.

13) I was only guaranteed my horse at college with me for one quarter at age 18 (even though board actually broke down to be way cheaper than keeping her at home). I worked a lot my initial stint at undergrad to get more opportunities with my horse. Too bad I was being abused, tried to kill myself, and had to drop out of college.

14) At 18 it's not illogical to expect you'll have to field all your horse's costs yourself. My mom had always said she'd take care of Mia until she passed though--- so she'd always have food and shelter. I did have to retire her early though because I couldn't afford hock injections. My lucky break was that my mom had purchased a horse for herself my sophomore year of high school who I had in high school been putting time into (spitefully not much because she wasn't suitable for my mother, but when I thought I might be able to convince my mom to sell her right before I left with my horse to college I put in a lot more effort and took her to schooling shows) who was sitting doing nothing but certainly sound.

15) This blog documents part of 5 years in which Chevy was my primary horse, an even less suitable APHA, and my struggles with not being able to afford lessons, clinics, shows. You'll find a lot of me working that horse in that shitty little grass arena because I couldn't afford to haul-in as regularly.

16) This blog also documents the extremely emotional traumatic ups and downs of my mom wanting to sell Chevy because she realized she was never going to ride her and me coming to grips with the fact that even if I could manage to afford to board her myself I would continue to be stuck making no progress. I desperately and fiercely love that horse and she was desperately and fiercely very wrong for me.

17) That's who I am. I'm the bobo backyard rider whose horses went years without floating their teeth or getting vaccines because we couldn't afford it. The girl whose horse was always tripping when we first got her because we couldn't afford a farrier who knew what they were doing, we could afford Rich who charged $60 for all three horses. The girl whose mom had to sell her own tack in order to buy me a horse. I'm not speaking from a place of privilege. I'm speaking from a place of knowledge, of experience, and of protection for all the other little girls who just want a pair of boots that fit them right.

Don't you dare fucking presume to know me.

[098lnr3m-blog]

I really need a cheap auto car insurance?

I really need a cheap auto car insurance?

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