#he became just like me fr
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good fucking lord juno. what the fuck.
#words covered in moss#tpp#the penumbra podcast#tpp spoilers#the penumbra spoilers#juno steel#yeah i listened to both episodes yesterday#this paragraph just about broke my heart neatly in two#crazy how juno was just some guy the first time i listened to tpp but then on my relisten#he became just like me fr#fuck offff with your guilt and overcoming feelings of worthlessness (<== said looking at a mirror)#something something#postmodern recurring dream#this is literally what that was about#aaauagahayaghagh#mecore#i guess
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Matoba is So Real actually. If I had to face the horrors of protecting 11 clans and the rest of the exorcist community as my 9-to-5 from the age of 22 or possibly younger, I deserve a little sweet treat after finishing a job. Make it three sweet treats while I'm at it
#thanking midorikawa for making matoba a sweet tooth haver. he's just like me fr (needs positive reinforcement in the form of sweet treats)#like yeah if i were stuck in an exorcist conclave with a bunch of western treats? i'd help myself while i'm at it too haha 😭🤚#idk i just love this little tidbit. makes him seem even more human imo. look at the matoba clan head going /_^ after getting another slice!#also. i don't think we ever got a confirmation about at what age seiji became the matoba clan head? :o but he's 22 in canon currently?#matoba seiji#natsume yuujinchou#natsume's book of friends#natsuyuu#natsuyuu manga#natsumanga
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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"Turns out we're a pretty good team, for two people who hate each other."
happy happy birthday to my dearest kay @thefabulousfab-3 !! 💗
#benvi#devi vishwakumar#ben gross#nhie#never have i ever#benvi moodboard#benvi edit#myedit#kay tag#2023 is the year i start making stuff for mutuals birthdays bc i love u all so much#anyways. kay was my first ever mutual on this blog when i rejoined tumblr in 2021 for never have i ever#n i am just So Glad we became friends n that i have her (and grace!) to yell about benvi and nhie with <3 our lil discord makes me so happy#(even if i ghost for weeks like ive been doing bc i have not been having many benvi thoughts lately but like#even when i do ghost n randomly pop back in its always with open arms u know)#fr tho i just. Love Kay So Much !!!!!!!!#mutuals#also. using this as a very subtle way to push the Ben Gross Is An Artist narrative even tho its literally already canon#he loves science n he loves drawing <3 we love a man who can do both
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found the most ancient picture of one of my dmc aus and I just
can yall tell I used to be into undertale LMFAO
this is over 6 years old man. time flies so fast
#don't ask me why Dantes hair is black I literally don't even know#I think in this AU after vergils death dante went so hardcore crazy he just killed everyone#like fr the whole earth is just a post-apocalyptic wasteland#he found Nero and spared his life because that's his only family left basically#unfortunately for Nero dante had to pass on his trauma to Nero#honestly I had the vision but the execution...#tbf I was 15 so#LMAOOK#I might redraw this when the time comes#I'm too scared to tag this properly bc cringe#dante became a demon king here too I think??
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Gethan won the poll now hand over the risque artwork
I'm sorry I'm low key a puritan so I'm scared to post it...it's giles pouring blood into Ethan's mouth. Something came over me when I was at my shitty wage slave job but I'm normal now
#LISTENNNNNNN#<- guy whose in denial about being asexual and just swears he's prudish#I had an incident occur to me and I became so obsessed with Giles because I kept saying “he's just like me fr he's just like me fr”#when i was just SELF PROJECTING....but he's just like me fr#now i'm....normal....and i look back and go what who said that#you dont understand how utterly batshit insane i was last fall/winter. like I was off the rails. im sorry im talking about my mental health#and not about the old man yaoi i promised#ill post the old man yaoi. but i need to finish my jenny drawing#BECAUSE I LOVE YOU JENNY
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It kinda makes me sad when people say Jin Ling is doomed emotionally and that the only chance of him maturing, healing and becoming a functioning adult relies solely on his immediate family who caused him so much trauma in the first place.
I think it irks me because I grew up in a similar situation but what helped me improve and heal was actually the friends I made who became like family to me. I don’t think people realize just how big of an impact the other juniors’ friendship can have on Jin Ling’s journey in life. They’re not just a bunch of silly kids, they’re just as important and helpful and powerful as the adult MCs in their own ways, especially when it comes to Jin Ling.
Friends really can save your life and I genuinely think our little peony is gonna make it just fine with the other juniors by his side. 💛
#like#not to get all ‘power of friendship’ ahahaHAHA#but I think it actually does apply to this situation#JL was bullied and shunned and made to believe he was better off isolated for so long#that having the other juniors accept him and care about him and genuinely want to be his friends is going to open so many doors for him#in life and healing and experiences and discovering that family can be more than blood#not tagging in any main tags#just having blorbo thoughts~ ✨#apple babble 🍎#it just bugs me when ppl think he’s just some dumb bratty kid who’s doomed to fail lmao like#he’s a KID#jfc give him a chance#especially now that he finally has a support system#and out of everything he became best friends with LSZ in canon#which is like the ultimate friend tbh I’d kill for a friend like LSZ fr#he’s gonna be okay 💛
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thought about it for a little bit and realized re:kinder got me out of a drawing slump thank you re:kinder for changing lives... it's was a while since i felt this satisfied with my art and drew this much till this game popped up in my life . forever changing lives thank you re:kinder whatever would i do without you
#not art#I TALK!!!#i have been filling my blog lately with these this little posts of me talking oops so sorry teehee#but like genuinely this game has cheered me up in such a way what an awesome game#god bless you parun thank you for creating such a wonderful piece of art#I REALIZED THIS BECAUSE I WAS CONTEMPLATING ON HOW MUCH I WAS DRAWING YUUICHI LMAOOO😭😭#how do i explain he just gradually over these months became a comfort character without me realising#I JUST KEPT DRAWING HIM EVERYTIME I FELT SAD which is a lot of the time oops#he just sparks joy okay its like wao...just like me fr... (no murder or many other crimes included) i wanna draw him today...#so do forgive i draw him so much i must spread the joy his character gives me with everyone by sharing the art i make of him#he deserves it he got me out of feeling dissatisfied with art😊👍👍#ON THAT NOTE I WILL SPOIL FOR YOU ALL THAT DO NOT WORRY...IM ALSO DRAWING EVERYONE ELSE#the rest of the very charmkng cast of characters#you'll see that soon . just a little something km doing in my free time#drawing the other characters made me have this whole realization anyway so its worth mentioning#they also give joy important to say ive been giggling thr whole time theyre so goofy
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also his drawings. make me insane. im pretty sure ive made a post about this before a while ago but i just love looking at his silly little drawings it adds so much to his character. even after everything he's been through he's still got some humor and lightheartedness in him. and he's really good at drawing too!! so it's likely something he's been doing since he was a kid
#will always believe in closeted art kid michael who became a bully so he wouldnt get bullied himself <- REAL TO ME!#anyways all his drawings are fun but i still cant get over the little hearts he scribbled in the margins of that one page#theyre just so simple and....... human. i dont know ToT#this guy is literally an undead purple zombie and he's doodling little hearts in a book#it just reminds you that michael IS a Real Guy. like canon fnaf kind of sucks ass when it comes to actually attaching any people or real#human emotion to the events of the games (very much focuses more on What Happened over actual character stuff)#(which is fine but not what i rlly look for in media usually lol.... which is why i love stuff like og fnaf vhs#which is much more character-driven)#but anyways. i think his comments and drawings in the logbook work wonders in making michael feel more real#and less like just unseen protagonist who we know about vaguely#thats why i cling so hard onto little things like his habit of chewing gum. or just him liking to draw in general#usually i dont like when fandoms make One Trait of a character super prominent/their whole personality#but with michael we know SO UNFATHOMABLY LITTLE about his character/personality that these little scraps of info are rlly all we have#in terms of his character beyond The Things That Happened To/Around Him#OH also. his love of that stupid fucking vampire show is SOOOO near and dear to my heart#another thing that makes him so painfully human. yes he is serious protagonist guy who goes thru the most unimaginable shit ever#but at the end of the day. he like many of us enjoys a stupid cartoon that he probably takes way too seriously for what it actually is#his comment about it in the logbook still makes me laugh THIS MF IS PROJECTING ONTO A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN HIS LITTLE SHOW#HE JUST LIKE ME FR#ANYWAYS holy fucking shit i did NOT mean to go on this long of a rant#i just fucking love michael afton so much im sorry#serena.txt
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starline is SWAGLESS!!!! SWAGLESS!!!!!
#this poll is going to tear me and my mutual apart#sonic is cool and swagful and is everybodys best friend and so niceys and he tells you to#be true to yourself and believe in yourself and open your heart and thats very transgender of him#real talk though everyones already seen me talk about it#in my own canon i think sonic is fr a well known trans icon on his world. like once he became a world hero and well-known#he decided to use that to be a positive voice for trans people by being openly himself#cause thats just what sonic is#anyways
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sometimes ur fixated on a character w no fandom and you just have to get thru that urself and it is soo hard
#this is about a dude from she who became the sun#fav book rn tbh and anyway just bought the sequel and i am sooooo excited for this guy again#hes not actually a great guy but yk what i love reading him idc. his chapters are fantastic.#im actually glad books like this dont get fandomized bc we know thatd be awful#but ohhhahhashdgfjhd nobody knows himmmmmmm#its just me fr
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the scourge warrior cats to lucien critical role pipeline is so real
#2 dudes who werent tht bad to start off . fucked around . found out. became evil and started killing#lucien reading warriors and being like hes just like me fr @ scourge#YES I WAS A SCOURGE FAN. MY EDGY 13 ASS CLDNT NOT BE
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NOOOO RIGHT 'CAUSE LIKE... the way the Arakawa Family specialize in faking deaths already, I'm sure Jo was so on top of everything. And who better to walk Masato through it right... flight's the perfect time to get started if it's gonna take like fourteen hours...
BUT YES. YEAH. Like The Day Of he's just paralyzed with worry and caught between wanting to do something and not wanting to go against Aoki... maybe at most he chances calling Arakawa telling him to be careful, because that's not too conspicuous given his role in the dissolution, but Arakawa just gives him the old I'll Be Fine Worry About Yourself... and, you know, why shouldn't he; they've always had their enemies and he's Arakawa the Assassin, he can handle himself... he can let himself have that fleeting hope, but deep down... and THEN he finds out and has to act like he didn't mean anything to him and has to go back to his duties like nothing happened... OUGH
Can I just say. Literally such an insane fucking series of scenes in Coin Locker Baby. Because you get Jo's despondence when he's saying he might have killed Arakawa--he's being a bitch to provoke Ichiban into a fight, but it's also an admission his inaction played a part, isn't it... and then you get him expressing that he's familiar with Ichiban's need to protect Arakawa... and then you get the sheer desperation and insistence in his voice when he says he could never kill him... and then you get--I'm not totally sure how clear it is in English--but you get him actively saying his feelings go deeper than Ichiban's without really explaining how... and then you get the tinge of fondness when he's thinking back on the old days when Arakawa lived up to his name... Like. Why Did They Do That. Any Of That.
ALSO. GOD. I've gotten so much shit the past couple days because I said I want to lock Jo, Kume, and Tendo in a room for five minutes For My Entertainment. Reading those tags felt like coming home honestly 😭 Like, even Ichi was ready to kill someone over Arakawa, and Jo was out here threatening to disembowel people [in the dub]. And I Think They Should Be Allowed To. As A Treat. So FOR REAL the biggest "I'm so glad we get to talk" 😭😭😭
On that note genuinely so funny that I took an extra ten minutes re-rendering the video because I forgot to put the "flashback" part in Arakawa's subtitles at first but then nobody read it 😭
But it's also something I've been mulling over because I'm delusional. Getting actors as high-profile as Nakai and Takei back for just A Flashback is kinda crazy to me because Arakawa and Jo's screen-time took up a full four percent of the entire game [over ten percent of the cutscenes] originally. But then if it's multiple flashbacks equivalent to that... what exactly is going on here that the past is so intertwined...
And Because My Brain Is Evil there is the fact that technically speaking, Yokoyama only said that line was from a flashback, and specified Arakawa wouldn't be appearing in the main story. Now of course a normal person would interpret that as him reassuring the audience he won't appear in any present-day scenes, but part of me was like. Oh So A Side Story Is On The Table [<- it's not it's fucking not it will not be in a million years]
JUST. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS COOKING WHY IS THE KITCHEN DOOR CLOSED WHY ARE THE WINDOWS BLACKED OUT
ANYWAYS that's enough from me for today I am [as always] glad you enjoyed One Missed Call and Kyouen, ABSOLUTE bangers
YAYA THATS WHAT IM SAYIN YOU GET IT. UNSURPRISINGLY BUT YOU GET IT ಥ▽ಥ
no but thats what i MEAN like i already was jokin with myself like 'jo and arakawa probably had A Thing right lmao' BUT THEN THE WAY JO TALKED BOUT ARAKAWA AND OBVI THE GENERAL FACT HE COULDNT KILL HIM REALLY JUST MADE ME (。・∀・??) AND REAALLLY LOOK AT EM CLOSER THE SECOND TIME AROUND like genuinely for what. it will fuck me up until i'm dead and gone SOOO unnecessary and yet they did it..
wack that people wouldnt want to see kume and tendo stuck in a room with jo like. from what i know everyone is a part of the We Hate Kume gang so. cmon. kume will be shredded into candy floss within five minutes. it'll be fun (๑❛ᴗ❛๑)
OK BUT NAKAI AND TSUTSUMI'S STATUS WAS A BIG REASON WHY I DIDNT THINK ARAKAWA NOR JO WOULD BE BACK FOR LAD8 THAT'S SO VALID TO CONSIDER THAT its that idea that just has me especially wondering what the plan is. im not expecting them to have MAJOR parts (or in arakawa's case too many flashback segments) but they MUST have a SUBSTANTIAL amount to warrant bringing them back right..
#long post#snap chats#when it comes to Famous Persons Coming Back i was also just like 'theres no way they could get george takei back right'#LISTEN i know the eng dub is not to be spoken of but it exists and it cant be denied takei's REALLY prolific in the states yeah#so i HAD to ask it was WORTH asking myself. unless they decide to swap arakawa's eng VA but w/e its not overly important#moving on. its ok most people dont read anyway no worries about missing a subtitle </3 a painful reality but. we take W's where we can.#OH BUT TO END /MY/ NIGHT THO i LOVED One Missed Call UGH such a good horror movie#i wanna watch it with my dad so bad he loves horror/suspenseful movies and we used to watch em whenever id visit him#KYOUEN'S A DARLING OF A SHOW SO FAR I THINK IVE SAID THAT ENOUGH but yeah......... BIG love........#i'm almost done with it. if i said i finished it earlier i think i lied i cant remember POINT IS I JUST HAVE THREE EPS#i plan on watching them before stream time tomorrow so that'll be cute :]#buuuut speaking of finishing watching things i Just finished watching the first We Make Antiques movie and UGH#love. love love love it was so silly but also really fascinating to watch... team of forgers thats WILD and i loved it..#i wish i had access to the sequels tho like PLEAASE i wanna watch these two be losers more....#they became domestic with each other so quickly like goddamn.. money can do anything#it can make two dudes trying to con each other work together.. its beautiful.....#ok now thats all from ME for tonight. id talk more on the jo and aoki bits but theres a good chance ill do that during stream#or. ill draw it during stream. me drawing is the same as me talking now innit Let My Bullshit Speak For Me etc etc#ok thats all from me fr this time BYE
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If I see a morally grey, self destructive, pathetic middle aged man I will put him in my brain and make him my entire personality. Every goddamn time
#harry du Bois? that is me. he just like me fr#also I will rant disco elysium thoughts tor the rest of the tags now#(also also any disco elysium fans please make yourselves known I Need to see more content from this fandom on my dash)#it was a fun game!!#i wasn’t invested initially but like an hour or so in I became Hooked#the like. traits mechanic I can’t remember what its called was really interesting#I didnt realise how much it truly affected the narrative until I tried talking about the ruby confrontation#with a friend who had started the game at the same time as me#and she was shocked about what I did in my playthrough becquse it wasn’t even an option for her#theres so many special and funny moments that I encountered in my playthrough#and I didnt even go through the thought cabinet that much so I definitely missed dome stuff#especisllly with the church and la responsibilite#also the horrific necktie quest#but I purposefully stopped that pne because the tie was annoying to me fhfbdndn#idk how I feel about the end fully#I was a bit disappointed that (SPOILERS)#the killer wasn’t someone we had met prior though he was still an interesting character#and the ending felt rather anticlimactic after the tribunal#but apart from that it was still great#speaking of#THE TRIBUNAL?? HOLY SHIT THERE WASNT EVEN A TIME LIMIT BUT THAT WAS TENSE#I didnt save rhat many people :(#titus Alain and eugene were the only survivors i think#also the fucking authority check to tell Kim someone was behind him??#terrifying i think I legit yelped KIM NO when it came up#he really trusted me though so it was still a high percentage chance but still if I rolled snake eyes i would’ve been distraught#(side note Kim is definitely my favourite character#cuno is in second place which I did not expect but I always loved interacting with him)#other parts of the ending that destroyed me included the final dream sequence cuz. holy shit.#i cried maybe a little maybe a lot
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y’all ever feel like this sometimes?
#cuz yk I always tend to lash out my feelings on writing poems#but I couldn't write about how broken I'm feeling rn#maybe bc the wound is too fresh lmaoo#the best thing I could do is move on and love myself first#and not focus on the guy that broke and rejected me just for a hobby#but fr tho we were like Mochita and Akari#until he took a different girl for prom....#and we graduated HS without much talk#which is painful considering I left my comfort zone to have a connection with him#but I couldn't help but avoid him in pain even if he tried greeting me on the last days...#honeyworks#also I promised myself a KoyuRyou one-shot based on my prom months before it happened#but I couldn't write it yet when I became a Koyuki to Natsuki during that night lol
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is it just me or did anyone else think shadow the hedgehog was fan made 💀
#i fr thought he was just a weird sonic recolor that everyone thought was so funny so it just became popular#I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE HAD HIS OWN GAMES#it hit me like a truck when i learned he wasnt fanmade#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#(pls dont kill me im not big on the sonic stuff)
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