#he also came up with some of the worst ideas of tcw

[jewishcissiekj]

"Star Wars should follow George Lucas's vision" Wrong!

also. Remember when they brought him on set for Mando all excited to show him they gave Boba the weapon he had in the holiday special animated segment only to get slapped in the face when Lucas said he was not involved with that. so fucking funny

[ylojgtr]

i've been mulling over tales of the empire and overall i think im very happy with the series. when morgan elsbeth first showed up i thought she was just another one-note imperial warlord, but through ahsoka and now especially tales i have become much more of a fan. how she deals with her clan's genocide was tragic in ahsoka but is just heart wrenching here

barriss was one of my favourite characters in tcw and even though i still think the terrorist arc could have been built up to better and less...uh, racist, i still find it to be an essential and interesting part of ahsoka's story. my only major disappointment with tales of the empire was how vader was handled. im not one to get upset at frivolous or over-the-top uses of vader, i loved him in rogue one and force unleashed etc., since he's objectively cool as fuck and people are entitled to their interpretations. but barriss betrayed ahsoka. and i don't believe for an instant that anakin, even when vader has taken over, would let anyone get away with hurting his padawan.

i decided a long time ago (since we've been waiting so fucking long to see barriss again) that in my hc, barriss *was* recruited to be an inquisitor during the chaos of order 66, as so many people speculated, but that vader immediately tried to kill her upon meeting her the first time. because i love her i decided she did escape, having to recon with her desire for the jedi to fall having come true in the worst possible way.

i imagined barriss further developing a connection to the dark side but using it to combat the empire. there are already so many jedi and thinking of ezra and luke's brief dark side uses i thought it would be sick to see that in full force against sheev & co. i think it would also fit perfectly into her development, if done right, going from highly rule-oriented healer to violent idealistic refugee to finding some kind of peace as a freedom fighter operating somewhere in between. i imagined her learning from the empire and reflections on her bombing that terror is not usually a very good way to spread a message, but still believing that violence can be used for good. sort of like a saw gerrera type but with less of the extreme ends justify the means mentality. hell she could even join saw gerrera's cell that would be sick.

(and of course she'd have to meet up with ahsoka again and YES they still have feelings for each other imagine the romantic tension, the memories of betrayal, the possible reconciliation but impossible circumstances both externally (war) and internally (opposing worldviews)...the potential encounters where they repeatedly end up with the same target but believing there to be two best ways of dealing with it but the TENSION...FUCK i need this)

anyway i like the idea of force users who are ""good"" (like in barriss's case, having strong conviction for justice) but don't strictly use the light side of the force or don't adhere to the jedi code. of course, since this is filoni we're talking about, everyone he previously claimed to "not be a jedi" just ends up being a jedi again 😐

not that i even mind this, i like the end of tales of the empire and am still excited to see what becomes of barriss (assuming she survives, which based on everyone else we've seen stabbed like that recently she probably will) (<not a slight against how lightsabers are being used, i honestly don't care that much it's fantasy). my one big complaint is that we didn't get to see what vader does with barriss.

when the trailer came out i actually thought my dreams were coming true! they show vader walking past her and i was so excited to see his reaction...and then he just sits there. he looks great, but...idk i hope we get to see more of that later on. im just happy to finally see barriss again

[omegas-spaghettios]

The Batch can 100% rescue Crosshair, y'all just haven't thought about it.

I have seen some posts and comments bemoaning Crosshair fans' frustration with the Batch not rescuing him. "Omega is their priority, they can't do it without putting her at risk, the Empire is too powerful.", all things I have read that supposedly make it so the Batch can't attempt to liberate Crosshair.

All of them are false.

I am going to go into excruciating detail of all of the ways I can think of that the Batch could reasonably do it.

Also, all of these are not just my ideas! I talked with @bimormondisaster pretty lengthily about this, a lot of the ideas are hers, check her out!

Now, the first "reason" why the Batch can't.

1) They can't put Omega at risk

I agree that taking Omega to try and liberate Crosshair is putting her at risk. But guess what? Cut Lawquane exists.

Cut has already shown he would happily take Omega in and raise her in his family. I seriously doubt Rex or the Batch have lost contact with him when he moved, they could contact him and ask him to watch Omega, he almost certainly would. Best case scenario the Batch succeeds and Omega just got a fun few days at Cut's house, they all have a reunion where Crosshair gets to see Omega and Cut again, they can have a nice reunion and celebration party. Worst case? The Batch fail and die, where Omega is safe and in good hands with Cut's family. Since the Batch's chips are removed and there is no evidence in canon to suggest they can be replaced, there is little risk of the Batch being reprogrammed and hunting after Cut.

Omega is also just part of the Batch now, guys. They've said this. The Batch has agreed to let her take any risk they take, and she could be incredibly helpful on a Raid on Kamino if it came to it, she could be a big help in saving Crosshair and I'm sure she would LOVE to help.

2) Kamino/The Empire is Too Powerful

First of all, no they aren't. The Clone Wars has shown us on multiple occasions that Kamino is able to be infiltrated. During the Rookies arc, we see that Ventress made it on planet with Aqua droids. They relied on Debris to build attack ships, but Ventress and the droids got there BEFORE Grievous did. This shows it is possible to get on planet undetected. Then the Conspiracy arc shows that if you are smart, you can navigate Kamino's defenses. Fives and AZ ALONE managed to infiltrate the medical bay, the DNA chambers, and the place where the earliest clones were being grown. They did that on there own! Not to discredit Fives, he is incredibly capable. But so is the Batch. Tech probably already knows that place inside and out, but if he doesn't he can learn very quickly. Omega also likely knows the facility incredibly well. If they don't, they could just convince a Droid like AZ to help or flat out reprogram them. Also, once in the facility, Hunter would certainly be able to track Crosshair. Bonus points, Fives got from the water up into the facility undetected, so between those two TCW arcs there is a clear demonstrated path to get into and around the facility.

Also, the Batch's entire Clone Wars career was designed around impossible missions. They were the ones called in when literally no other clones could cut it, I seriously doubt Kamino is the worst thing they have waded in to.

But even if it was too hard to do that for them (it isn't), they could try other avenues. The Batch could create a staging ground and dare Crosshair to come after them, which is almost certainly would. The Galaxy is so freaking big the writers could come up with countless planets and staging grounds for the Batch to create a good defensible position, but a good idea is a CIS war outpost.

We saw in Rebels that many old outposts and forts from The Clone Wars were abandoned. While I severely doubt that the Republic ones have been abandoned by this point in the timeline, they could have pretty good luck finding a CIS one. Most of the droids were deactivated, so finding a Fort or outpost or armory and seizing it should be easier than storming Kamino. They may have to deal with scrappers or pirates, but they are decidedly less intimidating than Kamino. Take a CIS post, take a few days to learn it, get it running, and modify it for a battle, and they're golden! Those facilities were DESIGNED for war, the hard part is just getting it functioning. They could fix it up, dig in their heels and dare Crosshair to attempt it, which they could capture him during the battle.

3) "They don't have the manpower"

Sure they do, I have already established that Kamino is not impossible to get around, one clone and Droid did it, for Christ's sake. But fine, they don't want to do it with just Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, and Echo. Good news! They have allies!

They could ask Rex. Rex at least has Trace and Rafa, undoubtedly more. If they went to Rex and asked for his help in exchange for their help in the future, that can boost their numbers.

Then they have Cid. Now she will charge. But if they spend time doing jobs and saving up, they could pay for Cid's help in acquiring supplies or allies who would be willing to help for hire. Cid also might just be willing to point them in the direction of someone who could help.

Then there is Saw Gerrera. They would have to find him, but I'm SURE he would help. If they went to him and said "hey, we need your help rescuing a brother, in exchange for your help we will give you guided access to Kamino and help you sabotage or damage it while we are there." Saw would almost certainly jump at the chance.

Then, absolute worst case scenario, they could find battle droids. We have already seen in the series where they could find some, they are probably not incredibly hard to get. They might even be on Bracca, too. They could take some time and find droids to reprogram and build themselves a force that way.

Even just ONE of those 4 options could help. If they went for all 4, they legit have the allies to form a small army, that's enough.

4) How to remove Crosshair's Chip

This isn't criticism I have seen but it's more evidence, you can remove his chip easily. Do it on Kamino during the raid, for one. The procedure itself takes only a few minutes. Granted, that is a lot of time in a high stress situation. But even if Crosshair took as long as Wrecker to recover, taking an unconscious Crosshair out of Kamino would be just as easy if not easier to take than an unconscious or tied up Crosshair with an active chip.

I also doubt the empire figured out why the Batch were on Bracca, most likely thought they were just scavenging. They could return to Bracca on another ship and use their facility. But if they don't want to do that, the ship Rex went down on in Season 7 has one. If not that, Tech has worked personally with the equipment on the ship, he could certainly find somewhere in the Galaxy with comparable equipment to do the procedure.

In Conclusion

Please stop saying shit to Crosshair fans about this. The Batch is well within their power to do this, they have the resources available. They can do it now, but they haven't yet. I am aware a lot of these resources were found during the first half of the season. But now they have them and no explicit goal, they can 100% look at all of these ways or even ways I haven't thought of, pick one, and do it.

[legobiwan]

Maul, Obi-wan, and Raydonia

I was doing research for an entirely different post and I just...couldn’t leave this scene alone. There’s just too much going on here for me *not* to dip my oar.

So Maul goes to Raydonia and terrorizes the populace in order to send a “message” to Obi-wan at the end of TCW Season 4:

First of all, the panel where Maul says, “face me,” is interesting as Maul is directed away from Obi-wan as Obi-wan looks at Maul’s back, perhaps in facing Maul’s back, he is looking at the past, or, more specifically perhaps not being able to look at his past he cannot face Maul’s holoimage dead-on.

Secondly, this is such an obvious setup. (I know, I know. “Spring the trap.”) But Maul’s hilarious line in Twin Suns really shows us how much he not only knows Obi-wan, but the Jedi at this point (and in Rebels, he contrives this plan because it has worked twice already, on Raydonia and later, Mandalore):

Although this is not the point of this post, you have to laugh. Maul and Obi-wan, to some degree, have been dancing the same tango for over 20 years and the only time there had been a misstep, so to speak, was when Obi-wan left Ahsoka in charge of the second attempt at a Mandalore occupation instead of going himself. But otherwise, geez, no wonder Maul ended up in Obi-wan’s arms at the end of it all, just like a “dip” maneuver at the end of a dance as mentioned above. (They *know* each other’s moves, flit between lead and follow, and if you take this metaphor to its conclusion, then you realize Maul went to Tatooine, sought Obi-wan not because he wanted Luke, but because he wanted closure, knowing what closure would mean in that circumstance.)

But I’m getting off-topic. Maul goads Obi-wan by threatening to burn Raydonia to the ground and Obi-wan, of course, being of “noble heart,” immediately proclaims that he has to go. Alone, of course.

Mace, being the only voice of wisdom in this room, offers a sound strategy:

Obi-wan immediately rejects this perfectly viable option.

This justification is bullshit. Obi-wan is known for being a master tactician and yet he’s refusing Mace’s offer of backup? First of all, between the two of them alone, I’m certain they could have come up with a decent plan. Secondly, Obi-wan had to know that Maul wasn’t going to keep his word. Raydonia was going to burn, regardless of whether Obi-wan came alone or not. 

And, in fact, here is Exhibit A of Raydonia burning:

Even if he isn’t fully aware of this, I posit that Obi-wan rejects Mace’s offer not because he wants to save Raydonia on the premise of a very false promise (if he were truly concerned about Raydonia, he would have taken the task force), but because, as the title of this episode suggests - he wants revenge. 

And I doubt Obi-wan even admits this to himself, using his “noble-heart” to justify going to Raydonia alone to face a massive threat to both the Republic and Jedi in the middle of a war headed by the Sith.

By every logical, tactical measurement, Obi-wan should have taken backup. And he outright refuses it because of a personal vendetta. I have more to say about this in another post, but his actions here seem to be part of this cycle of “fall” and “absolution” that Obi-wan goes through in TCW, each “fall” going lower, each act of contrition more extreme. (And it plays into a theory I have that if the war had continued, if events had been just a little different - Obi-wan would have fallen and Dooku would have eventually gotten his most prized pupil.) It also says a lot that in the mirrored situation during the “Siege of Mandalore” arc, Ahsoka is only able to capture Maul because she brought the backup. Or, more precisely put, because Obi-wan authorized the (illegal) backup of he 501st. 

Mace, however, isn’t swayed by Obi-wan’s pretty terrible argument. (And for pretty damn good reason.)

But here is where it gets truly bizarre.

What the hell, Yoda? I was trying to figure out the thought process that would lead to Yoda authorizing this. Clearly, it’s not stemming from any military advantage or even thought towards the people of Raydonia. They’re already burnt to the ground, both in Maul’s mind and the Council’s mind (despite Obi-wan’s thin rationalizations). 

So then why? If I start with the really wild speculation, I suppose I could say that Yoda had someone form of...Force premonition that Obi-wan going alone to Raydonia would lead to an intervention by Ventress (who Yoda did sense was kicking and ambivalent about her role in the war) which would lead to Ahsoka’s trial and eventual acquittal which would lead to Maul being captured on Mandalore which would lead to the Duel on Malachor which would lead to Luke finding Grogu - 

Yeah, you know what? 

NO way that’s true. Not even Palpatine could see that far into the future so I can BS on that idea.

So why send Kenobi alone?

I think this harkens to what we see later during the “Wrong Jedi” arc.

 If Ahsoka’s trial was her great test, then Maul’s reappearance was Obi-wan’s. Both Mace and Yoda have to know that Obi-wan was teetering on the Dark Side when he beat Maul all those years ago (in fact, the TPM novelization basically states Obi-wan harnesses some Dark Side to beat Maul in his rage.) Mace wants to bring backup, for very practical reasons but also probably keep tabs on an Obi-wan who was at severe risk of becoming unbalanced. 

Yoda, on the other hand, sends Obi-wan alone to face his past, to face his darkness and overcome it (in the middle of a war with the Sith where the balance of power could have shifted significantly if Maul and Dooku and Sidious were able to coexist in the same room without the threat of first-degree murder). 

And here’s the thing. Both Obi-wan and Ahsoka FAIL this test. Ahsoka walks away from the Jedi, Obi-wan gets the snot pounded out of him, taps into his rage (this is not a man in control of himself),

...and then lets a war criminal go free in exchange for her help, all of which set up the disaster that Mandalore becomes in later seasons. In fact, Obi-wan doesn’t pass this supposed test until over 20 years later, on Tatooine. And...is it worth everything that occurred between this episode and “Twin Suns”? Could Yoda have foreseen all of this? Highly unlikely. It’s nice poetry,  but at what cost?

Which leads to another interesting observation - if Yoda feels this is Obi-wan’s test, then both he and Mace feel Obi-wan is more than capable of flirting with the Dark Side. (Yes, all Jedi are, of course, but this seems rather pointed for a man who is considered the pinnacle of Jedi-ness). Again, I have another long post gestating about this topic, but I doubt Mace and Yoda didn’t notice some signs of Obi-wan’s slow fall and attempts at absolution (it’s almost like the habits of an addict - fall, swear off the sauce, and than fall again, even lower) throughout TCW, but between the pressures of the war and trust in Obi-wan, they didn’t see it as a huge threat.

So after Obi-wan leaves for his Revenge Tour, Mace explains, rather diplomatically, that he thinks Yoda’s idea is hot garbage and that his (Maul’s) -

Yes, and Obi-wan at least does learn from this, as stated above...eventually.

Oh, Yoda. This is where I feel the Coucil lost their way. Again, Dooku’s famous quote about Yoda and the Council from the Clone Wars novelization:

"The Jedi Order's problem is Yoda. No being can wield that kind of power for centuries without becoming complacent at best or corrupt at worst. He has no idea that it's overtaken him; he no longer sees all the little cumulative evils that the Republic tolerates and fosters, from slavery to endless wars, and he never asks, 'Why are we not acting to stop this?' Live alongside corruption for too long, and you no longer notice the stench."

It could be argued that Yoda is placing this “test” of Obi-wan above the people of Raydonia, hell, the entire Republic, in priority. Raydonia is collateral damage, and if Obi-wan fails his test, so are many planets in the Republic (which is *exactly* what played out). I suppose, in the very end - again, 20 years later on Tatooine - this was resolved and Luke Skywalker was saved to eventually help redeem his father and destroy Palpatine but...that only really makes sense in hindsight and overlooks the bad decisions the Council and specifically Yoda, are making in real-time. 

And Mace is not convinced here. Too many things could go wrong. Maul could escape. Obi-wan could be killed. Obi-wan could possibly turn, or at least “darken,” so to speak. 

“Trust in the Force,” Mace might say, “but all others pay in credits.”

[val-aquenta]

1,4, and 22 for the salty asks?

Hoo boy, this is just enabling me to rant lmao. But thank you so much for the ask. <333

1. What OTP's in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Gotta say Obitine. Uhh... I didn't get it when I first watched the cartoon, and I hated the implication that they gave Obi-Wan a romance to make Obi-Wan more 'human' (something I've heard other people push on the narrative.) I do like that it kind of showed the choice between being a Jedi and being in a commited relationship, but beyond that nothing. I also don't really like how most of Satine's whole story is determined by her romance to Obi-Wan. She's killed because of their relationship, most of the arcs with her surround the 'are they still in love and going to get with each other' narrative, and frankly it bores me. I am personally not into shipping in general, and I prefer more platonic and familial relationships like the Jedi-Clone and inter-Jedi relationships, so ships are kind of meh in general to me. I also didn't even see the appeal of their 'romance' tbh. They just seemed to argue a lot, and their confessions kind of came out of nowhere to me. If they did love each other, it really must have been a long time ago. I don't see it working?

Uhmmm off the top of my head are a few that I don't get, but I don't feel as strongly about. Qui-Gon x Shmi (never really understood why?), Rey x literally anyone lol (especially not our genocidal buddy kyle), Rose x Finn (not developed enough and then completely forgotten lmao, Ahsoka x Lux (ok this one is basically a notp tbh. Just... ew), and basically every Obi-Wan ship that I know (look he doesn't need fucing romance ok.) I didn't really want to go in depth with these because if we did heh yikes, we'd be here forever.

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

Hah. Anidala lol. From the top of my head, I think it's a very selfish relationship. I mean Anakin cares more about his feelings to Padmè than Padmè herself, and I feel like Padmè wants the clandestine romance vibes that come with being married to a person who is meant to be a neutral party. Especially during a war. Anakin's willingness to commit genocide for his 'love' for Padmè isn't a large sweeping romantic thing. The idea that he'd do anything for his love is pretty scary and I'm pretty sure Padmè, to some degree, knew of it. The fact that she continued to stay with him and live this double life means that she doesn't care about the consequences really. Idk I just feel like this relationship brings out the worst in both parties. The fact that Padmè is willing to deny that Anakin's fallen even when Obi-Wan comes to her door and tells her that Anakin killed Jedi could be that Padmè doesn't think Anakin capable of doing such a thing, but due to the fact that she was with him for the Tusken massacre and the whole Rush Clovis shit (and probably other tcw I don't remember) makes me think otherwise. Imo, I think that had the war ended and Palps been aprehended and everything gone well, their relationship would not have worked, because a large part of it was the fact that it was a secret thing, and that Anakin was not with Padmè that much. I don't see it working without outside factors imo, but whatever.

And, similar to many things, a lot of anidala fans are not willing to confront this truth that their relationship is built on lies and deceit and therefore will not continue to hold strong. So many of them ignore how Anakin broke his oaths as a Jedi to be impartial and place others over single people, and we all know that he did not do that when it came to Padmè. I know a lot of anidala fans aren't like this, and I'm not particularly vehement about this. This notp is more me not wanting to read anidala fics or see anidala art, and I've filtered it out. But yeah, some fan's vehemence that this was the one true thing and that if Anakin had been able to love openly (like he could... he just didn't have to be a Jedi to. Dang he really wants to eat his cak and have it too) and whatever he wouldn't have fallen just makes me... cringe a lot. Also I can't really separate what their relationship caused with the relationship itself.

22. Popular characters you hate?

Oh... uhh... this one makes me nervous ahhh. Well there are a few that I don't like as much as most people do and only a couple I hate hate. I really hate our lovely boy kyle. Uhh... mass murdering manipulator who tortures Rey and co, dude who stands by as entire planets are destroyed, and a genocidal maniac overall. I'm scared of some of his fans because yikes they're really fervent and trying to make kyle a morally grey character because of his 'redemption' during tros. Like... I don't care. You can say the same about Anakin/Vader tbh, but I think a lot of my hate for our buddy kyle comes from his fans and r*ylo stans who are very... intent on excusing Kyle's shitty actions. At least most Anakin/Vader fans know he's a shitty person and don't try and morally grey-ify him if you get what I'm saying.

Jango Fett too. I mean, I haven't read any of the books featuring him, but I'm gonna say it. Jango decided to enter that contract to create the army of clones. Essentially, he signed them up for the army in that contract with Dooku, so idc about your 'but he'd be such a good mand'alor and dad to the clones' bs, because he really wouldn't. He's incredibly selfish, and idk a lot of people seem to think he's the next best thing since sliced bread. I guess I should add Bo-Katan as well, because she's very hypocritical. the whole 'shouldn't you care about my sister' thing was not a good look because Bo-Katan, who helped bring the group of people there to destabalise her reign and kill her? Did you think deathwatch would just let her go freely? lmao with these two it's more I just don't like them that much. It's not like I hate them a whole bunch.

[helbertinelli]

I wonder if Anidala was a chore to deliver on for the writers of the CW series... not all was bad and at least we had something than nothing but later seasons it’s like unnecessary drama and pettiness to practical crumbs by season 7.

Most likely. The way I see TCW, the 2008 series, is that they made it solely to address the complaints that people had about the prequels. Anakin is too emotional, there’s too much love story, Anakin is too young etc. And so, we see Anakin acting more mature, he even gets a Padawan so the writers can be like “look how mature he is!!!“ Anakin gets darker hair, sharper and more defined features to make him look more stereotypically manly and rugged, they cast a voice actor whose voice is very deep compared to that of Hayden, his face has a ton of lines on it so he looks older, especially older than Padme because it’s unacceptable for a woman to be 4 years older than a guy in the relationship. He still cares about Padme, but it’s only as much as he cares about anyone else. Like he reacts the same to Padme in danger as he would react to Ahsoka being in danger or Obi-Wan in danger. So they toned down his feelings for Padme a lot. A guy shouldn’t be hopelessly in love, he needs to be tough and he needs to fight and if he cares about someone, he needs to care about everyone else on the same level. So they changed Anakin’s appearance and the way he loves Padme in order to fit in with the idea of the show and they favor Anakin the Jedi and the war general over Anakin the lover and the husband (that we see through most of the movies).

The entire series is also just about fighting and winning wars, whereas SW was always about love (even the OT yes) and the love story is all but gone.

Padme isn’t a strong character anymore, but she’s someone who needs to be saved always. She’s also nothing more than a Senator in the series and she only cares about doing her job as Senator. She doesn’t have time for Anakin and she doesn’t care about his needs or feelings over those of the Republic. They basically erase all of her development from AOTC (but also ignore how she was at the beginning of AOTC at the same time somehow and say she actually had a boyfriend in between TPM and AOTC) and then they also take away the fact that Padme doesn’t need constant saving, and most importantly, they erase how deeply she loves Anakin. So they basically erased half of Padme’s character because I guess people don’t like her when she loves Anakin.

Anidala is also very different than most relationships we see in the media. They’re very comfortable with each other, they almost never fight, and if they do they’re able to make up almost immediately, they’re happy with each other and they understand one another like no one else, and they’re willing to abandon everything for each other. And this is an odd relationship for adults to be having in the media. It’s more fitting for a relationship between teenagers or kids or even elderly people, but not for adults. For some reason, adults can’t love each other. They need to hate each other, but still be together somehow. They need to bicker and fight all the time to show that there’s conflict. They need a love triangle to show that they’re meant to be together.

You can see how Anidala is portrayed in the 2003 TCW that took place between the releases of AOTC and ROTS. The kept their romance as an important thing to both Anakin and Padme, they kept their romance as it was at the end of AOTC where both of them were very in love with each other and there was no unnecessary drama or love triangles.

And then you can look at how 2008 TCW portrays it 3? years after ROTS came out. I think I read it somewhere, or maybe it was an interview with George Lucas or the wiki, but they basically said that they made TCW to get people who didn’t like Anakin to like Anakin more. And that’s the dumbest thing you can do as a writer.

I feel like because of what TCW was (an attempt to “fix” the complaints that people had about the prequels), Anidala had no place in it and they gave us the worst version of it because romance between adults shouldn’t be healthy or wholesome and they’re not interesting or worth doing if they get along and there’s no love triangles.

So yeah, they most likely viewed Anidala as a chore.

[sirikenobi12]

Wild Space Review - a bad character study

So, I’ve been re-reading “Wild Space” by Karen Miller to use as source material for a new fic that I’m writing and I’m being reminded how much this book really just pisses me off. 

Like, it’s so close to being a really amazing Star Wars book that it’s super frustrating. 

***Spoilers Below***

I enjoy the plot overall, the way she uses the Darkside is super unique and I just love it. The idea that a Sith planet is basically used as a weapon against the Jedi and destroys them not just physically but also mentally (and in the Force), but that non Force users are fine - that is so incredibly interesting!! Not to mention the way she weaves the canon timeline into her story is also masterfully done. And the tension and drama is very well written. 

But, her take on the characters leaves MUCH to be desired in my opinion. I just can hardly get through reading it a second time because of it. Her Padme and frankly her Obi-Wan are honestly the worst. Don’t get me wrong they have moments where the characters we know and love do show up, but overall she just seems to completely misunderstand both of them (especially Padme) and REALLY misses the mark when it comes to their relationship/friendship. 

Padme: Through much of this story she is nothing but a love sick puppy who is whiney and obstinate in the most annoying fashion. She doesn’t seem to have the level head on her shoulders that we normally see with this character. Yes, we see that obviously she has a blind spot and makes poor decisions when it comes to being with Anakin in both the movies and TCW (I mean she kissed him after the sand line...come on girl), but in this book she is just insufferable!! 

She has immature and snide thoughts that rival Anakin’s about Obi-Wan and the Jedi Order throughout the entire thing and I just don’t see her character being this way. 

Obi-Wan comes to her at the beginning of the book to discuss her and Anakin’s behavior on Geonosis and to hopefully talk some sense into her regarding their doomed relationship - makes sense, she is the more mature and reasonable one between her and Anakin, but that is just not what happens in this scene. She is cold, she is like a child who resents her father telling her what to do. She is just obnoxious in this scene and incredibly unreasonable (very out of character). She then decides instead of talking to Anakin about it or coming to the realization that maybe this relationship isn’t a good idea she basically yells at Obi-Wan and then decides to lie to him. The lack of respect she holds for him in this scene is very contrary to the woman who maybe a day prior said “Well, I’m going to go help Obi-Wan...” 

Not to mention she basically uses the fact that Anakin’s mother died and Obi-Wan had no idea as a weapon against him...low blow Padme.

I feel like once the dust settled on Geonosis she would’ve struggled with their rushed marriage. She also so obviously cares for the Jedi Order, and specifically Obi-Wan (and Yoda for that matter) as a friend and we don’t see that reflected in this book much at all.

It isn’t until later in the book that we finally get a glimpse of the strong Senator who loved the Republic and the people more than just about anything (including Anakin) - I guess if you actually believe she died of a broken heart then the version of her character in this book makes sense...I guess.

Obi-Wan: While not as insufferable in my opinion in this book as Padme, he’s still through a good chunk of it out of character. Though Karen Miller does nail his tendency to injure himself only to claim he’s “fine” and his self-sacrificing ways, as well as his concern/love for Anakin, she does beat a dead horse when it comes to his view on politicians. What was just a simple line in ATOC “She’s a politician and they’re not to be trusted” became the main source of conflict for him throughout so much of this book when it came to his interactions with Bail Organa, so much so that it got pretty cartoonish and circular. 

A lot of my issues with Obi-Wan in this book stem from the usual misunderstanding that the Jedi are not allowed to have feelings/emotions and coupled with Obi-Wan’s need to prove himself (which that is very much in character, I’ll give her that) he comes across as basically what Anakin accuses him of being in ATOC - he’s overly critical, he’s emotionless, he’s intimidating and aloof. And Anakin’s bitching about his mentor aside I really have not seen any evidence throughout canon to make me believe that Obi-Wan would be like this. 

His first scene with Bail in this book is just baffling to me, the way he reacts is not at all the polished Negotiator nor the charismatic man everyone seems to have a soft spot for (even the villains). 

And then once he has been working with Bail for awhile they keep coming back to this conflict - he goes back to mistrusting him simply because Bail’s a politician and so then Bail feels attacked so he thinks the Jedi are these unfeeling monsters and starts questioning if they really do “steal babies”. Now, I can somewhat forgive this getting heated when they are on Zigoola because the planet is basically using the darkside to destroy Obi-Wan, but as a reader it just feels played out before they even make it to Zigoola and that makes it seem rather lazy. Obi-Wan has faced so much trauma all throughout his life, the author couldn’t come up with something else to cause him to fight Bail on getting out of there?  

The fact that he kept digging in his heels, not trusting Bail (for no real reason), not telling him what was happening even though two pages prior they had come to a mutual understanding feels like Karen Miller just needed more pages to fill and just didn’t know what else to do with them so she went back to the ‘Obi-Wan doesn’t trust politicians’ well. 

It took me out of the moment because it felt so out of place and out of character. 

I really, really want to love this book, it has a lot going for it. But I find it so difficult for me to get behind her take on these characters that I already know and love.  

Did anyone else feel this way reading this book?? I haven’t read any of her other Clone Wars books yet and now I’m debating if I should actually read them or if they’ll make me equally annoyed.

[kylos-bens]

Mistakes Like This ↠ Obi-Wan Kenobi (Obi-Wan x Reader) Chapter 3

Word Count: 3.1K

Warnings: Slightly smutty??? There’s def some 18+ going on here folks LOLOLO 

Masterlist

Chapter 4 

Tags: @blondekel77​ <3 

A/N: I know this is TCW Obi but UGH SO HOT. Also I have been posting my chapters more frequently through Wattpad if you find it easier to read there. You can find me @/concordiabeskar with the same title of this fic. 

I HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYS!! 

The torchlight scanned the slick caves from left to right. The bottoms of your feet were aching from the rough terrain. Darilia is definitely one of the worst planets you've ever stepped foot on. You were leading the way and were on high alert just in case you caught sight of anything suspicious. In the few hours of walking through this dark cavern, it honestly bored you that there was no action. A trio of clones trailed behind you and Obi-Wan and talking amongst themselves. "Wait I see something," you perked up when you can see only a few hundred feet away, a tight entrance.

"It appears to be a dead-end," Obi-Wan stopped by your side, his gloved fingers grazed yours and you didn't move your own.

"It's an opening," you jogged on ahead ignoring that the grounds of this cave were slippery. There was a fracture through the walls. You run your hands on the jagged edges and peered through it. You gasped at the sight of where the torchlight illuminated a massive clearing within the caves. The ceilings were higher and there was an opening where dark water was pouring down into a gaping hole in the ground. Obi-Wan called out your name but you slipped through and were so amazed at what you were looking at. To find this thousand of meters underground was chilling and you were sure now that a droid factory could be established here. If there were more clearings like this there was no doubt machinery was already put in place.

"Will you slow down!" Obi-Wan made it through the fracture in the rocks. "You have no idea where you are going!" He looked around and marveled at the sight as well. You shone your light directly at him.

"There's another entrance over there," you exclaimed and he immediately took hold of the torchlight in your hand. "Sorry." You lowered it again and the light caught something shiny. The clones were trying to make their way through the fracture but had to remove some of the packs to fit through. You moved your light again and clusters of shiny reddish-orange crystals reflected the beam.

"Watch your step," Obi-Wan murmured as you continued on your path towards the other entrance.

"Those can't be kyber crystals?" You looked at him.

"No," he replied keeping an eye out because they were exposed here. The clones were starting to make their way in when suddenly there was the sound of something cracking. It was faint but you knew Obi-Wan heard it too. "Stay still!" He said calmly. Everyone stood in their tracks. You shine your light on the walls of the cavern and they were all peppered with those crystals. It was such a stark contrast to the black rock. Then your light was on the ground. You didn't notice it at first but it was shiny just like black marble and you realized that you can see through it.

"Obi-Wan I think this is ice," you whispered. He turned his head to the clones who followed their order of staying still. "There's too many of us." You kept your eyes out for what was underneath the black ice. It was too dark but you can make out what looked like more sharp rocks.

"Fall back," Obi-Wan ordered. One by one in swift movements the clones went back through the fracture. You were making your way slowly behind Obi-Wan when he stopped.

"What are you stopping for?" you asked already worried that the integrity of the ground you stood on was seconds from giving up on you. "Obi-Wan?" The sound of the cracking grew louder.

"General?" one of the clones were still waiting by the entrance. Then everything happened so quickly that you didn't even have time to react. Obi-Wan faced you with panic in his eyes and he embraced your body pulling you close to him and stalactites came crashing down. The wind was knocked out of you as his body collided with yours. Both of you crashed through the ground and the black ice slammed hard against your wound. The drop felt like forever but you clutched on to Obi-Wan. The shards of icy glass triggered your memories and as the both of you freefall the last thing you wanted to think about was at least you die with Obi-Wan. You hit your head against something and then there was a splash.

*:·ﾟ✧

You were submerged in water and the only thing you could see was a blurry image of Obi-Wan swimming towards you. That's when you realized and you panicked. The bubbles escaped your mouth and you started waving your arms. You were once again denied air and Obi-Wan got to you. His arms wrapped around you and he swam towards the surface. It took forever but both of you gasped for air. There was a rocky edge where Obi-Wan swam you over. You were coughing out so much water but in your eyes, it just looked like dark oil. Unsure if it was blood because there was a salty metallic taste to it. You crawled on the rocks and spat it out. Obi-Wan was still gasping for air and coughing while making a face on the edge. You laid out flat on your back and looked up. It was an endless abyss of darkness. You didn't know how long the both of you fell for and you couldn't hear the clones with the roaring sound of water. The only light that shone through were these black crystals surrounding the walls. You didn't know if you hit your head so hard that colors were now different to you.

"Obi-Wan?" you whispered. He turned to you and he had the same look of fear in his blue eyes that snowy evening. He rushed over to you but you stopped him. "I'm fine." You were getting up and he touched your forehead where a pain shot through you. He removed his hand and there was dark blood on his fingers. He looked up at what you were just looking at and he called out to the clones.

There was no answer.

From above the drop didn't seem so far down but now you felt that you entered the planet's crust. He ignited his lightsaber and a blue glow lit up the edge that both of you were on. You sit and realized that your robes were torn and so were Obi-Wan's. His was not as mangled but your own had one sleeve ripped away and a gash running down your shoulder. You'll live.

"What is this?" he whispered. You looked at what he was looking at and your eyes were trying to focus on what was in front of the both of you.

"We have to find a way to get back up," you hoisted yourself up on your knees and you felt your own lightsaber hit your thigh. Obi-Wan stayed silent so you were curious at what exactly he was looking at. "Does it look familiar to you?" You examined it. It looked exactly like the black ice you were just standing on but this time it was more jagged. The black crystals around you glowed even more and you took notice of that.

"It's some sort of glass," he moved closer still lightsaber in hand. You managed to get up and followed him in a few steps. That's when you saw that it was a reflective surface. The lightsaber glow looked grimmer in the reflection but you couldn't see his shape. You frowned and then you saw your own reflection. Ghastly and with a cut on your forehead, you immediately backed away because you recognized what this was.

"Obi-Wan we need to get back up," you turned to him but he was no longer there with you. You blinked once and you were in complete darkness. The blood in your veins turned into ice and you spun around heart thumping in your ears. The black crystals were no longer glowing and you reached out with your hands but meet nothing. No, it can't be. You searched your fuzzy mind for something to explain what is going on right now.

You remembered reading about this enchanted black crystal formation as a Padawan. Staring at the towering wall you recalled that it shows your deepest and darkest desires. It made you nervous because all you could think about was what it would show you. These black crystal formation were just fables. Yet here you were staring up at it.

You turned your head when you hear the voice of Obi-Wan by your side. "What's going on? Where are you?"

He was still here but you couldn't see him. "Obi-Wan please just move back towards the water," you said making sure he doesn't step any closer to the reflection. Silence and you were disorientated, but you turned in every way possible because you didn't know where the water was either. The sound of the water was now muted and you couldn't feel anything in front of you. That was when you made contact with the cool smooth surface of the rocks. Your eyes were slowly adjusting in the dark but then you realized that the black crystals were glowing again. There was a pang of nervousness when you see your reflection looking back at you. She smiled a devious grin and you backed away and bumped into something. You turned and it was Obi-Wan.

"Stars! You must have hit your head so hard," he tsked. You were stunned to see him back in front of you. "What did you see?" He asked squinting his eyes toward the reflection.

"Don't look Obi-Wan please," you pushed on his chest but he collided with something behind him. He was also startled and you backed away. The black crystal had manifested around the both of you.

"What's the matter with you?" He placed his hand on the crystal and he frowned. There was a dim soft glow and you noticed a muscle twinge in his jaw. You looked at what he was looking at and it was not a reflection of him but of you. You looked in front of you and instead of seeing yourself, it was of him. Your head was spinning from the changes so you had to crouch down. You thought to yourself that he must have seen what you were seeing.

When you looked up at the reflection, the glow was back. Your vision was foggy like you were staring at a mirror after a hot shower and behind you was Obi-Wan getting down on his knees. It caused you to hold your breath and sit still. He placed his gloved hand on the crook of your neck. You start wondering if this was part of your mind playing tricks or it was what the crystal was showing you. No, you felt his hand on your neck, and then you felt his beard by your ear. The prickly sensation made you shiver. This was too good to be true.

"I saw it," he whispered on your skin. "It's okay."

"We need to get out of here," you clenched your thighs together. You never heard him speak in that tone before and what it did to you was oh so good.

"We will," he pressed a kiss on your neck. The gentle embrace of his other arm held you in place. Your arms stuck to your sides and whole body trembling. "Please darling let me in. Just this once." His blue eyes looked at you in the reflection. You closed your eyes and let out a whimper as he continues to kiss down your neck and on your exposed shoulder where the sleeve was torn. Is this real?

"This is all an illusion Obi-Wan," you opened your eyes once again and he was focused on you. "You aren't really here."

"Yes I am," he moved his other free hand and squeezes your waist pulling you back against him. "I'm here can't you feel me?" Oh, you did feel him. Hard and pressed up against you.

"This is wrong Obi-Wan," you were breathing hard as he moved his other hand down the side of your body. It was tantalizing and you were so tempted. You stared at the reflection. It was a sight to see. Obi-Wan's hair flopped down on his forehead and the lighting gave his face shadows and it did things to you. This was an image you always dreamed about. He pressed his cheek against your neck and smiled. Once again his gloved hand made its way to hold your chin and held you in place. "Please." It was a pathetic sound that came out of your mouth. He sucked on the skin and the beard was an added sensation.

"Yes, my sweet one?" he whispered. You turned your own head to meet his eyes but when you do you let out a scream. His eyes were dark and hollowed out.

You sat up in a frenzy and were surprised to see that another Obi-Wan was right in front of you. He appeared to look out of breath as well. He was still soaking wet from your drop down into the dark pool and he reached out to you. "What in Maker's name was that?" he could only mutter it. "Did I hurt you?" You were confused until now. However, you were sure it was the real him.

"No what did you see?" you wanted to just get away from this. It was feeding your desires.

"It was nothing," he got up and looked around. "You would not appreciate it." You saw that the black crystal wall was no longer surrounding you. The images you saw were being tucked away in the back of your head. You kept quiet while Obi-Wan thought of a plan to get out. Your mind was too clouded with thoughts that no strategies came up. It took a few tries, but now Obi-Wan was maneuvering his way out of the rocks.  You followed in suit and he warned you about the slippery rocks.

"I got it," you whispered. Both of you balanced your way by the walls and tried climbing up but it was no use.

"Come here," he said and that caught you off guard at first but he motioned that he was going to lift you up to the closest edge.

"This won't work," you said but you obeyed him anyway. You step on his hands and launched you up before you catch the ledge. "Kriff!" You screamed. The pain from your fall shot through you. Obi-Wan supported your legs and kept you up as you tried shimming your way on the ledge.

"Are you alright up there?" he reached up and you take his hand.

"Perfectly splendid," you said through gritted teeth and you pull him up as well. He examined your expression and realized that you looked tired and cold. You honestly had enough and just wanted to rest after the events that happened.

"We'll rest here. We are hidden," he removed his outer robes and handed them to you. You wrapped it around yourself and took in his scent. He watched as you huddled against the rocks and he leaned back against the other side. "We might have to climb the entire way back up. So rest up." You closed your eyes and just turned to your side.

*:·ﾟ✧

You wake up and were unsure how long you've been asleep. The hood of Obi-Wan's robe was over your head and once you removed it you turned to see that he was also passed out from exhaustion. His head was leaning against the rocks and you just stared at him. You felt his energy in the force and you didn't know why you actively sought that out at the moment. It had low vibrations meaning he was not even aware that you were already awake. This whole mission tired him out. Not knowing what exactly you were trying to do, you moved a little closer and lifted your hand towards him with the purpose of finding out what he saw.

It felt wrong but you had to know. His defense was still down and you gently grasped at his recent memories. You were immediately launched into his point of view. Harsh breathing and whimpering. You blinked a couple of times before you saw your self sprawled on all fours on the edge of the black crystal formation. Obi-Wan was grasping your hips and pounding into you with slow but purposeful strokes. Your robes were skewed and he leaned down pressing his robbed chest against you. "Master please don't stop," you whimpered from underneath him. You were watching this with widened eyes. His deepest and darkest desire was a moment like this. He had his gloved hand grab your neck and pulled you back so you were on your knees and flat against him.

"Look at me in the reflection darling," he smirked and that sent a wave of arousal through your own body. You obeyed and he whispered a well done in your ear. He quickened his pace rolling his hips against yours and you were moaning out for more. Your body bounced up and down on his cock. You were loud and even you were surprised by this. Never in your life did you hear yourself like that. He moved his thumb on your lips and parted them before he slipped it in. You begin to nibble on it and the sensation probably sent more pleasure to Obi-Wan because he shivered as he thrust into your aching core. You were craving for what was going to come next but you sensed the memory fading. All at once, it disappeared and you were facing a flustered Obi-Wan. His eyes were wide and lips parted.

"I am so sorry," you backed away and he couldn't speak. "That was so wrong of me." You had nowhere to go and a blush was creeping up on your face. You can see his chest rising and falling.

"Don't be sorry," he whispered. Did he want you to see that? The both of you were just a few feet away from each other and it took every part of you not to reach out to him. Your body was aching just for him and he knew that. Once again your mind kept saying no that this was a bad idea but your legs continued to press hard against one another. Your heart racing as you picture what he saw.

"This never happened between us," you looked him in the eyes as he moved towards you. His hand hovered over your waist and moved up to your shoulder and his gloved finger traced your collarbone.

"What did?" He whispers on your lips and a hand gripping your neck.

Next Chapter

[jedi-order-apologist]

First thank you for all you do. I so love this blog and I'm glad I found it. Secondly I just need to vent because I came across this new video about the 'war crimes of the Jedi Order' and while this channel normally has awesome in depth star wars content I wanted really shake the guy because I didn't understand all of them? The temple bombing was committed by 1 individual so how is that terrorism? Ob-Wan's surrender wasn't a true false surrender? The Jedi didn't create the clone army? 1/2

Slave Army one clearly belongs to the Republic.  Yes Windu, Anakin and Obi-Want try force Cad Bane to spill secrets but babies lives were on the line.  The Child soldiers bit again which I know you've probably discussed before and really I feel like most of the gffa seems guilty of that in some way.  Anakin's murder of Count Dooku was to demonstrate his Falling and Sidious did not surrender to Mace nor was unarmed.  Finally the EMP bomb on Malastare seems like a good idea against droids? 2/2

Oh and I forgot the Funding Insurgents (the Onderon Rebels).  That too is also a war crime as the Jedi are supposed to keep out of planetary conflicts.  smh 

Did this guy really claim that the temple bombing, an act of violence against the Jedi Order and the people working with them, is a war crime that they committed‽ Because that’s on Barriss and Letta, not the Jedi Order as a whole. Similar thing with a lot of Anakin’s actions, and Sifo-Dyas commissioning the clones - it’s pretty disingenuous to blame the Order itself for the actions of individual members that the Order/Council explicitly did not sanction or even know about. Obi-Wan asks in AOTC if the Council authorized the creation of a clone army; Mace unambiguously tells him that they did not. Anakin, when he kills Dooku, specifically says that it’s “not the Jedi way”, showing that he knows that the Order wouldn’t sanction his actions and that he’d be in trouble if they found out (also when he tortures Poggle, afterwards he clearly deflects the questions about how he “convinced” Poggle to talk, again suggesting that Anakin knows that he’d be in trouble for it).

With the situation on Onderon, wasn’t the whole point that they were finding a way to help the locals without violating the rules of war? Yeah, Anakin gets Hondo to deliver “illegal weapons”, but they’re not illegal in the sense that their use is banned in warfare, they’re illegal in that Hondo isn’t supposed to be smuggling them. I guess one can find that questionable, but it was pretty clearly framed that the Jedi were taking care not to go too far with the situation - they explicitly did not want to create terrorists.

And yeah, Palpatine was very much NOT unarmed nor helpless - it’s not the same situation as with Dooku on anything but the most surface level. At worst you could maybe make the claim that Mace bought into Palpatine’s “I’m too weak” act and attacked anyway, but I really don’t think he bought it in the slightest.

And how is bombing enemy combatants on Malastare a war crime? Isn’t that a pretty typical part of warfare? It’s not like any civilians were out there as collateral damage, let alone deliberate targets...and the bomb doesn’t even harm organisms (it annoyed the Zillo Beast but certainly didn’t harm it).

The false surrender thing I had bought into before as well so I guess I can’t really blame this person for not looking into it too closely. But @trickytricky1 has a good post tearing that idea apart.

I’ll give him Cad Bane - that’s at least something that was framed as a questionable decision within the narrative, and it’s a fair criticism that they did something pretty messed up out of desperation.

Similarly with the “sending children to war” thing - though I personally can’t separate it from the standard trope of children’s media putting kid characters in these kind of situations without really examining how messed up it is, and of course that it’s not exactly uncommon in the Star Wars galaxy (Padmé is the same age in TPM as Ahsoka is at the beginning of TCW), if people want to criticize it just as it is, that’s fine.

Of course as part of the larger trend to be excessively uncharitable to the Jedi in a way that no other faction is subject to, I don’t like it, but as individual criticisms I don’t object to those points. But yeah, most of these are just...really bad takes even on their own.

[zforhire]

Flailing About A Distant Echo

@alexisvalarr asked me earlier this week if I was worried rewatching the never-finished reels for the original Bad Batch arc might make the new stuff less enjoyable. I didn’t think so, and today proved the answer to be a resounding “NO!”

My squee is under a cut for the sake of spoilers.

I was kind of hoping they’d keep the bit with the Padme nose art, but I’m so happy with what they gave me instead that I can’t even be disappointed. I loved the new scene so much!

At first I was laughing because the whole “We’re late for that thing” exchange just sounded so much like Anakin was trying steal Rex away for a quickie—and judging from his reaction, Hunter thought so, too. (And this is one of my big ‘I don’t NOT ship It pairings for the show.) But then all the dynamics that came out were beautiful. I love that Rex is emphatically In On It with Anakin and Padme, and all the gimmicks they have worked out; Rex’s signal, that Anakin went in with his helmet to make the “fixing his armor” excuse more believable. And I love how much the writers remember that Anakin’s a tinkerer in this show, because it’s one of my favorite things about him.

I’m so glad the secret Padme comm happened this episode, because last week I had the worst idea: given the outfit she’s wearing, and that we know there’s going to be some overlap with the eventual events of ROTS, I was really afraid that Filoni was going to make it some sort of on-the-way-to-Mustafar call. Instead it was just a nice, concerned couple-call. TCW continues to be the best couple writing they get, and the emotional animation on Anakin’s face in particular during that scene was really beautiful.

I also really loved the new way they used Obi-wan in the episode, giving him back a bit of the playful dialogue/relationships that we’re going to miss out on without the Crystal Crisis on Utapau arc. Plus that ending— “Did you at least tell Padme I said hello?” Wonderful! Such a great follow-up to the conversation in Anakin’s quarters from the Rise of Clovis arc, and a great lead-in for the “glorious day with the politicians” scene from ROTS. People have been asking cast members, at least, for years if they thought Obi-wan knew about Anakin and Padme, and I feel like that was Filoni’s fun way of saying ‘YES!’

I haven’t actually full-on cried yet, despite my joking about how I wasn’t going to stop once the new episodes started airing, but recovering Echo got me close. And thinking about the implications of what could still be coming only makes it worse. I’m also finding the smaller changes that they’re making really interesting.  Last week they went from Rex thinking they might’ve found the algorithm of Echo’s body (original version) to him immediately thinking “I think he might somehow be alive.”  For this week, in the original version, the Council rejected the rescue mission but Rex and Anakin said ‘Screw it!’ and went ahead anyway; now they just made sure to leave before the Council had time to give the official call.  I’m just so, so happy with these new episodes, and this one in particular!

[jewishcissiekj]

A few months ago I woke up (I wasn't sleeping) in cold sweat at night from a story idea and grabbed a paper I found and wrote on it the OC name that came to me in a vision but only now I started thinking about her more and finally fucking designed her so here's my Jedi Master OC and her three Padawans (and everything I have to say about them) if you want to see them

(mouth on the first one came out weird, ignore that) Bliz Karse she/her (Karse pronounced Kuh-rs, not sure about Bliz yet) -Ky Narec's best friend! her main story point lmao. They were partners most of their life, from the crèche to knighthood up until Ky ended up on Rattatak. -Theelin -Qui-Gon's and Ky's age - born circa 80 BBY -Lives up to TCW, probably dies in Order 66 (haven't gotten there yet) -Ky and her are really close friends and like half the temple's padawans gossip about them dating. They aren't together. -Her master is Burryaga from The High Republic! Was thinking about a Master for her and he just fit idk -She's short -Ky and her go around the galaxy as Jedi explorers. They're both aspiring Wayseekers, striving to be independent from the council and help wherever they can (this gets serious for Bliz after Ky crashed on Rattatak) -She takes her padawans everywhere so a lot of times people think they're Ky and hers' children -um idk I think she's aroace?

Padawan I - Sevo Zash They/them -Mirialan (purple!) -I drew them as a Padawan but they're like, older than Obi-Wan. -Bliz took them on not long after her knighting -They love Ky -I need to develop them more (gave them a name like an hour ago and came up with the design this afternoon, I don't know them yet) -Survives Order 66 but is killed by an inquisitor not long after

Padawan II - Nyyra Xor She/her -Falleen (green, naturally) -NOT AURRA but love me some almost bald characters with a pnytail at the top of their head and no eyebrows -I should make a timeline for Bliz but she's like, in her late 20s/early 30s by the Clone Wars -She thinks Ky is annoying but was still Bliz's Padawan when he crushed on Rattatak (that adds up, right?) so she came to miss him after a while -a big fan of annoying the fuck out of Bliz. She also doesn't like traveling as much as the others so she ended up with the worst possible master in that regard -Sevo sees her as their little sister, I feel like all 3 Padawans are kinda siblings in that way -Oldest sibling energy, doomed to be a middle child -Wants to be on the council. Dies in Order 66.

Padawan III - Arck Kyvett she/him -Tholothian (no idea how to draw their head-tendrils but I think I did a decent job) -DIES (killed by Asajj) - her main story point is dying. That's where I started, with Asajj being sent to kill Ky's childhood friend's padawan by Dooku and then Bliz came to me -Bliz took him on 2-3 years before the Clone Wars, and he died very quickly (Asajj's first Jedi kill, maybe even before the Clone Wars started) -I wanted to give all of them some sort of Padawan braid, so Arck gets beads on one of his tendrils, I think that can work -Youngest sibling energy, if she didn't die she'd also become the favorite child (Nyyra and Sevo love her dw) -The Ky in her name is the first thing Asajj hears when Bliz refers to her. Wanted to call her Ky originally but felt this would do instead

Woooo building OC lore is fun I should do it more Talked a lot about Ky but never drew him once in my life. Let's ignore that.

[soccialcreature]

Why you (I) did not like Rise of Skywalker

I’i wish i cud just tell ppl that i simply did not vibe with rise of skywalker but everyone just says “oh, youre just a hater” or “youre so cynical” so im going to put into words Exactly what i didnt like about tros so ppl cant say that i just hate it for fun? i guess? or to b cool? idk. under the break so that i dont annoy casual scrollers. and of course u can like it if u want i rly do not care.

The stakes were too high

If our characters failed, then we would see essentially the destruction of the entire galaxy. Or at least, that’s what they made it seem like. Because of this, you knew that the characters were going to succeed, but it was lowkey really stressful, and NOT in the fun, tension-y way. I felt like I was just sitting there thinking “get this done already!” And I just felt annoyed (again, not in the fun way) at every setback. 

I know this is lowkey how every story works, so I’ll give an example of a piece of media that DOESNT do that and it’s going to be clone wars because I’m always thinking about clone wars and im such a clone wars hoe im sorry.

In The Clone Wars, the stakes were much lower. It was always something like, keep this planet from Separatist control, or win this battle, or make this political step. And sometimes, our characters failed. Deathwatch burned down the village, or they just lost a battle to the Separatists and had to retreat, but it was never such a crushing defeat that there was no hope afterward. Watching the show, you didn’t know if they were going to win or not, and you wanted to see what was going to happen and HOW it was going to happen. It made it really fun to watch. Another example is the Mandalorian. Low stakes, but we still care (do not TOUCH baby Yoda or I will LOSE IT).

We didn’t get any time to get to know our characters

This one’s pretty self-explanatory. There was so much going on in the movie and so much that needed to happen to reach the climax that there was no time for character development. This is where the “I wish there was more sitting and talking” comes in. The characters stayed stagnant the whole time. Their views on things didn’t change, and they learned nothing. This was one of the biggest issues with Force Awakens, too (which I liked a lot! Who didn't?), that the characters were essentially being dragged around by the plot with no agency of their own. It was just them moving on to the next plot point and then the next, etc. What’s supposed to happen is that the characters are put in a situation and then they get something out of it that they didn’t expect to. Instead, we didn’t have time for any of that and just moved on to the next plot point.

Again, I’m gonna use the prequels as an anti-example. The whole trilogy was about Anakin’s character arc and his fall to the dark side. What came with that was his relationship with Obi-wan, and Obi-wan’s character arc, etc. The clones in TCW are also perfect examples of good characters.

No themes or morals

Frankly, it was just kind of a bummer. For a happy ending, I walked out of the theater feeling pretty defeated. It may have been because Ben died, but I’ve never really been a fan of Kylo Ren. I know this is so so contradictory because I’m a prequel hoe and the prequels had the most depressing ending ever and no one was happy, but I mean let's be real. It kind of had to for the original trilogy to happen. And it showed a lot about being human and love and anger and corruption etc etc. The issue with this trilogy’s ending, though, is that there was really no reason for it to be sad. It didn’t show anything, and there were no underlying themes of the film at all.

I’ve really had enough of Palpy

Sorry, but we did not need to bring him back. There was no reason for him to come back. It just ruined Anakin’s sacrifice in Return of the Jedi and honestly, this is the worst of Palpatine. What made him interesting was watching the way he would manipulate Anakin and the rest of the senators and the Jedi as a secret Sith Lord. And I didn’t need to see him do the exact same thing that he did to Luke in Return of the Jedi to Rey. Villains where the description is just “the most powerful being in the galaxy: impossible to defeat” don’t really interest me.  

I’d rather be at home watching Clone Wars

I know this is essentially what happened with people who grew up watching the original trilogy and why they didn’t like the prequels, and it’s really not fair for me to judge this piece of Star Wars media based of off how it holds up to this other part that I’ve held so dear for so long, but hey. I think that’s perfectly valid. It’s fine if you don’t like the prequels because they’re not as good as the originals. That’s just how it happens. Sorry sequels, it’s really not your fault. It’s my fault for watching TCW and the prequels first. Don’t get me wrong, the prequels had their issues. There were some annoying characters, bad dialogue, weird choices for who the movies would focus on (Obi-wan should not have been such a side character in Phantom Menace), but the goal and ideas of the prequels were really good. I didn’t get any of that in Rise of Skywalker.

In conclusion, you can totally like the movie if you want. I really wish I did like it. And I didn’t hate it, really. There were a lot of cool parts like the scene of Luke training Leia to become a Jedi which I think was super fun. And Kylo Ren/Ben Solo at the end using a blue lightsaber was cool and again, fun. But ya. I doubt you read this if you liked TROS but. People should let people like what they like, and also let people not like something just because they don’t like it. We shouldn’t make people have to justify or argue everything, but I’m just doing it because my family’s been calling me a hater because I immediately went home and turned on Clone Wars. And also I’m majoring in Screenwriting at college next year so I feel like I should sort of know how to write good stories and characters. Or at least try to figure out what works and what doesn’t. Thanks! <3

[gffa]

hi! i really want to get into the EU stuff, but i have absolutely no idea where to start. can you point towards a few good books, maybe? thank you, and i absolutely love your account btw!

Hi!  Thank you for the kind words, I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog.  ♥  Recommendations for EU stuff often depends on what you’re interested in, because there are a lot of books I really enjoyed, so I’ll organize them by era, since that’s how fans are often divided.  I’ll also include comics, because often times the comics are some of the absolute best stuff!If you haven’t watched The Clone Wars and Rebels yet, those are absolutely the places to start as they’re key to the fabric of the bigger story, imo.  Not that you can’t understand the movies without them or anything, but TCW is especially important for understanding just how grueling the clone wars really were.  And Rebels is important for showing the fates of a lot of the TCW characters and seeing the Empire vs the Rebellion (it does a lot to flesh that out, too).PREQUELS:

Any of the Star Wars Adventures comics that contain the prequels characters are great.  Well, ALL of the Adventures comics are great, but the prequels ones are adorable, funny, and yet really well-told.  They’re light-hearted and largely oneshots, but the IDW comics have been incredible for still being some of the absolute best SW content out there.  Especially a not-miss is #12-13 and the 2019 Annual for the Padme&Leia&Breha story.

Obi-Wan & Anakin comic by Charles Soule.  A five-issue mini series that has the most stunning art of all the comics I’ve ever seen pretty much, it’s also a really good look at the time of Anakin’s apprenticeship and provides some interesting glimpses into their early days together.

Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith comic by Charles Soule.  This comic was an absolute phenomenon to read month to month and one of the comic series that I’ve spent the most time analyzing and felt it’s really held up to scrutiny, which shows just how much thought went into it.  It’s 25 issues of Vader fresh off Revenge of the Sith, over the span of a couple years, and really does an AMAZING job of exploring Anakin Skywalker as Darth Vader, all the choices he made and the themes of the comic are all about showing he can’t admit to the HUGE mistakes he’s made.  It was incredible.

Choose Your Destiny: An Obi-Wan & Anakin Adventure by book Cavan Scott.  I’m not usually a fan of Choose Your Own Adventure style stories, but this one was worth it to me to get an absolutely DELIGHTFUL book with Obi-Wan and Anakin, who are cranky with each other, but ultimately show that they can come back together and obviously care about each other.  Sprinkle in some other cool stuff (Jedi details, Bant Eerin being recanonized) and it was lovely.

Dooku: Jedi Lost audiodrama by Cavan Scott.  If you’re interested in Dooku, Asajj Ventress, or the Jedi at all, this drama was pretty amazing, it gave a ton of worldbuilding detail, but also did a lot to fill in the backstory of Dooku and gave us a long look inside Asajj’s head as well.  Qui-Gon makes some appearances, he has an amazing dynamic with Dooku, and my heart as always skips a beat for how much I love the Jedi.

Age of the Republic comics by Jodie Houser.  Holy shit, these comics were SO GOOD.  They’re a series of oneshots about the various heroes and villains of the time, a glimpse into the lives of all of them, and Houser really nailed it here.  My favorite is the Obi-Wan one, because the conversation he has with Anakin about Qui-Gon is a must and delves deepest into the characters’ stuff, but all of them are worth reading.

Jedi of the Republic - Mace Windu comic by Matt Owens.  A five-issue mini series that, okay, the art is Like That but the storyline really worked for me because it’s a really good look at Mace’s character and his belief in the Jedi Order and how he came to master himself and how the galaxy looks at Jedi.  It’s woven around a fairly typical action plot, but one of the things that always strikes me is the compassion the Jedi show one of their own, even when they’re falling into darkness, as well as this is a comic about Mace Windu’s faith and his work to master himself and it’s SO GOOD.

Kanan: The Last Padawan comics by Greg Weisman.  Stunning art plus a look at some of the characters/relationships that I want so much more of (TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT DEPA BILLABA) and more glimpses into life at the Jedi Temple, as well as telling the story of how the character went from Caleb Dume to Kanan Jarrus, all of it heartbreaking and so, so good.

While the Revenge of the Sith novelization by Matthew Stover is no longer canon, but it does an absolutely phenomenal job of breaking your heart all over again for the characters and expanding on everything that was going on during that time and really, really gets into the headspace of Anakin’s character in a way that was line-edited by George Lucas himself, so I think of it as having a lot of emotional truths to it, rather than being part of canon (which it’s specifically said as not being).

ORIGINALS:

The ongoing Star Wars comic (by Jason Aaron, then Kieron Gillen) + the original Darth Vader comic (by Kieron Gillen) are the absolute best place to start, they’re an incredible addition to the characters’ journeys between ANH and ESB.  The two comics are meant to be read concurrently, so I recommend them together, they often show the same scenes from different points of view, but you can roll with either of them if they’re going well for you.  They’re my favorite for what they add to the story.

Star Wars Battlefront II’s storyline can be watched on YouTube like a movie, which is about two hours long, has some fantastic characters (Iden Versio and Del Meeko are amazing, but also the brief storylines the OT trio have in the game are fantastic) and it does a really great job of helping to bridge the gap between the OT and the ST, explaining a lot about Jakku’s significance and how the First Order popped up.

From a Certain Point of View novel by various.  MY FAVORITE BOOK IN THE EU, FULL STOP.  A series of point of view stories from various supporting characters during A New Hope is exactly what it sounds like and, okay, not all of them worked out for me, some of them are very skippable if you’re not enjoying it, but the Obi-Wan one, the Qui-Gon one, and the Yoda one are all must-reads because they are HEARTBREAKING and fill in so much of what’s going on with those characters in the OT with regards to the PT events.  Also the Motti one is the single funniest thing Star Wars has ever put out.

Lords of the Sith novel by Paul S. Kemp.  While I’ve only read about a third of this one so far, I’ve enjoyed it a lot, as it’s a look at some of the worst parts of SW’s timeline, where Vader and Palpatine are at their worst, where Ryloth is suffering, but it’s done with deftness and gravitas, imo.  Possibly better after you’ve seen TCW and Rebels because Cham Syndulla’s character will have more weight then.

Legends of Luke Skywalker novel by Ken Liu.  This book came out around the time that The Last Jedi came out (or at least that’s when I read it, iirc) and it was a balm for my soul that needed Jedi Master Luke Skywalker.  It’s an in-universe series of myths, so it’s not literal, it’s stories told about Luke Skywalker as he travels the galaxy trying to understand the Force and the Jedi.  It’s lovely!

Thrawn novel by Timothy Zahn.  I still think the first Thrawn book was really good (even if the shine came off the apple after that) and it does a fantastic job of setting up the character’s backstory, intro into the Empire, and creating the character of Eli Vanto, WHOM I LOVE.  It’s a great read and some of the best of Zahn’s Thrawn work.

ROGUE ONE + SOLO:

The Rogue One novelization by Alexander Freed.  I had trouble connecting to Jyn Erso when I first watched the movie, but the way Freed wrote her as this messy, complicated, thorny person who was trying to do the right thing was perfect for making me fall in love with her.  (Freed is really, really good at writing messy, complicated, worthwhile women, imo.)

Most Wanted novel by Rae Carson.  I loved this book a lot, where it’s a young adult novel set before the events of Solo and helps tell Han and Qi’ra’s backstory and is a great space adventure at the same time.

Catalyst novel by James Luceno.  This does a really great job of bridging the Republic era with the Empire era, how the galaxy went from the Clone Wars to what we see in Rogue One, AND expanded a ton on Galen Erso’s character, his relationship with Orson Krennic and Lyra Erso and Jyn, so it made the R1 experience just a ton more valuable for me.

SEQUELS:

Bloodline novel by Claudia Gray.  This book still does the absolute most to bridge the gap between the OT and the ST, to explain the events of what happened in that time period.  Gray’s writing is best when she’s writing Leia as a character and this book works as a novel for her and as a story about the rise of the First Order and some of the problems of the New Republic.

Spark of the Resistance is a young adult novel (so about 200 pages) by Justina Ireland.  I only recently read this one and I just thoroughly enjoyed it, it was Rey and Rose and Poe off on their own adventure, which was typical cute Star Wars stuff, but the chemistry and adorable banter between these three was so good I could have read an entire series for them!  (I also liked her Lando’s Luck YA novel, if you’re interested in his character.)

Poe Dameron comics by Charles Soule.  Soule’s writing is some of the best stuff in SW so far and he does an absolutely phenomenal job of capturing the charisma of Poe’s character, while also giving him an actual character arc to work through.  The comics just fly by, they’re so good and so smoothly easy to read and so damn charming.

Cobalt Squadron novel by Elizabeth Wein.  If you get the audiobook of this, it’s narrated by Kelly Marie Tran, who does a love job of reading it, and was a book that helped me just utterly FALL IN LOVE with Rose Tico.  It’s a book that does a lot to explain her back story and who she is and it’s just absolutely wonderful.

The Last Jedi novelization by Jason Fry.  If you really, really hated TLJ, this might not be the book for you, but I found it to be a book that helped fill in some smaller details that made the movie work better for me and got inside the characters’ heads just enough to help grease the wheels to put me in a better place with the movie, so I always really like it.

[twilightofthe]

For the fanfic writer ask meme: E, N & W. Thanks 🙂.

Thanks for the ask, anon! (sorry for responding so late aaaa)  Questions from this writing ask game

E: What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

C-3PO, I too am loud, over-talkative, anxious, like linguistics, and tend to bother people.  Lol but for real?  Ok, I know I’ve made this joke before, but minus the evil and the murder, I really do relate to Anakin in a way, like I’ve got this entire [post] on why I think he’s ADHD like I am, and his anxiety and general tendency to be a disaster socially resonates with me too, like, I get that.  I’m also a massive drama queen who’s really smart about like one or two particular things so yea.  I’d say overall tho, I’m probably the most like Luke, a little whiny and awkward, a little dramatic, little reckless, love my friends and family a LOT, want to explore.  As to fics that capture similar qualities, I’d definitely say Pas de Deux, the way I write Anakin in it has a LOT of my anxiety and my worst headspace involved and wrapped up in his character, I very much projected a bit while writing it.

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

Ohhhh honey you’ve got a storm coming….  besides the obvious other two books in walk the (family) line, I’ve got an entire list on a separate document of different stories I want to write, ideas including:

A oneshot fic I’m actually kinda working on right now.  It’s another modern!AU Obikin romcom and I won’t spoil it, but it involves parkour, R2 the parrot, Obi Wan may or may not be James Bond, and Anakin accidentally becomes Twitter famous

An epistolary style fic set during Obi Wan’s time on Tatooine where nine year old Leia finds the emergency comm Bail has to contact him, and both the lonely, kind of awkward young princess and the tired old hermit who should know better but is also lonely and misses both of her parents dearly set up a penpal relationship.  End goal is to establish a relationship that gives Leia a proper reason to name her son “Ben”.

A semi-crackfic where the Jedi Council gets some sort of Clue From The Force™ about the identity of the Secret Sith Lord, that clue being that the Sith Lord is: a politician with close ties to Anakin Skywalker, and also had very specific motives to send Darth Maul to Naboo.  Alllll the wrong conclusions are drawn from that, and the next day, Padmé Amidala is arrested for treason.  Obi Wan is the only Council member who’s like “y’all she’s innocent, it’s clearly the fucking Chancellor”, Sidious tries to manipulate the situation to remove the only two people in his way at once, and poor Anakin spends the entire fic in a state of “UH HI YEAH WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON”  Shenanigans ensue

A 5+1 times they kissed Obikin alternate canon shortfic, because I’m hopeless and want to write shmoop.

A Sadmé (Satine/Padme) Ocean’s 8 AU that came about entirely over me yelling over Cate Blanchett and wanting to write a heist fic starring all of the SW Prequels/TCW ladies being total badasses

This absolutely BONKERS Rebels AU fic where S4 Ezra accidentally pulls both Ahsoka AND Kanan into the World Between Worlds during the Vader fight in S2.  Vader recognizes what happened and promptly kidnaps S2 Ezra who’s there by himself— as well as Maul who’s established a bond with Ezra over the Sith holocron —in hopes of discovering the secret of time travel.  While S2 Ezra has to somehow survive the Crazy Murder Roadtrip with Maul and Vader, now S4 Ezra, Kanan, and Ahsoka have to race to A: Find and rescue S2 Ezra before one of the Sith kill him— and therefore also kill S4 Ezra, B: Make sure Maul and Vader’s tentative alliance doesn’t lead to them finding Obi Wan for obvious reasons, and C: Make sure neither Maul nor especially Vader find the Lothal Temple World Between Worlds entrance and risk unleashing either into a past they both desperately want to change

A fic detailing different little neuroses and traits and attitudes passed down through the Yoda-Dooku-Jinn-Kenobi-Skywalker-Tano line.

Cross generational shortfic focusing on the desert children— Anakin, Luke, and Rey — and their first experiences with water and rain

A ficlet where Yoda somehow gets babified and basically just all of the Jedi Order having to deal with the cuteness overload that is Baby Yoda.

A post-TROS political drama where Leia’s Force Ghost realizes that once again, a new government is gonna need to be built in the aftermath of the First Order’s nonsense and that there are almost no good remaining politicians in the galaxy.  Finn is unfortunate enough to know how command works, how to take charge, how to deal with FO remnants, and is Force Sensitive enough to see ghosts, so Leia takes it upon herself to mold Finn into the next leader of the GFFA.  Would focus on rebuilding, family legacy, be very very Jedistormpilot, and so on.  I feel like I’m not really invested enough in the ST but I reeeeally want to see this idea in fic form, so I might end up giving this idea away at some point.

This one fic that’s been going through my head for YEARS but have always felt scared of actually writing because I know right now that it’s gonna get LONG, like over 200k (lol and look what’s happening with Mutuals ahahAHAHA—) where Anakin flat out dies.  Just, during TCW season 5, he fights Dooku and in the process of killing him, goes down with him and dies.  Padmé will have just became about a month pregnant at this time, and part of the fic will focus on her and Obi Wan and Ahsoka dealing with the aftermath of Anakin’s death, as Sidious is forced to jumpstart his plans and execute Order 66 early now that he’s not waiting on Anakin anymore.  The other part of the fic will focus on Anakin’s ghost, unable to communicate with Obi Wan or Ahsoka and having to watch them and Padmé and the surviving Jedi form the Rebellion themselves and his children being born and growing up without him, even though Luke and Leia will end up being the only ones who can see him.  It’ll go right up through the 20 years of the Empire and have a gigantic cast and I just don’t know if I can do it.

Now, I hate to say it, but I need to let it be known that these are still MY IDEAS, and I have not given anyone permission to use them, so please do not be that person.  Do not steal these ideas for yourself.  I will be VERY upset if someone does.  If you really like an idea, DM me and ask, but I don’t plan to give any of them away at the moment.

W: What is your favorite pairing to write?  Favorite pairing to read?

Hmm, to write?  That’s tough!  There’s so many different complex relationships in Star Wars that I’ve really found myself enjoying exploring, and it’s hard to find a particular one that I like best.  I’m open to at least sampling most pairings for reading, but my favorite has to be Obikin.  It just makes me happy!!!!! :D

Thanks again for asking, and y’all should tell me in the notes if any of the fic ideas sound like something you’d read!!!!!

[strrne]

Give Me a Signal, Ch.8

Chapters: 8/?

Word count (so far): 21220

AO3  Ch.1 Ch.2  Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7

Summary: When Padmé Amidala is unable to contact Coruscant while negotiating a loan on Scipio, the Senate suspects trouble, and sends Anakin Skywalker to go check on her. Of course, the resourceful senator isn’t really in any trouble – don’t flatter yourself, Rush Clovis – but there’s definitely some brewing.

(or; rewrite of the tcw S6 Clovis arc; anidala + gen)

”A little bird tells me you're planning to do something 'ill-advised'. Would this be a Geonosis, or rather a Vanqor kind of ill-advised?”

Anakin did not much enjoy being forced to guess which one of his consecutive mess-ups Obi-Wan meant by 'Geonosis', and why he seemed to think that his apprentice had at least made slightly better decisions on their plentiful misadventures on Vanqor. Should he take this as a compliment? Well, he didn't have time, and that was not the point anyway.

”I'm going back to Scipio,” Anakin answered truthfully, whirling around on the ramp to the Twilight. ”Right now.”

Obi-Wan nodded. ”So… the Scipio kind.”

”Very clever, Master,” Anakin sighed. ”Are you not going to ask why? Try to stop me… do what you do best.”

”Oh, I find that what I do best is give you advice.”

Anakin nodded slowly, drumming his fingers against the box of supplies he was holding, then gesturing with his other arm towards the ship.

”Can't you tell me on the way? The more the merrier. We can be arrest buddies again.”

Of course, the two of them had been arrest buddies plenty of times, but somehow, in the Scipio-gate, Obi-Wan's brief arrest had become a mere footnote, while Anakin's extended one had ended up the talk of the town. Curiously, Anakin no longer blamed his Master for the incident – having recently been made to face how his own boiling anger often contributed to situations escalating.

”I'll respectfully decline your kind invitation.”

Anakin narrowed his eyes at him. Obi-Wan appeared to be in a strange mood – he sounded almost jovial – as though he was, for once, feeling optimistic about something. Anakin was almost sorry he could only give him a tired look, preparing to sit through whatever wisdom the older Jedi had to provide today – and risk being found out before he could set off. But he could do this much for Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan's features suddenly grew tenser.

”I sense so much anger in you. You know what Master Yoda says about that.”

”Fear… suffering… bad feelings. Bad things,” Anakin listed wearily, with somewhat loose vocabulary. He was suddenly starting to miss going to missions with Obi-Wan, and listen to his nagging about the immediate danger they were facing, instead of Anakin's character flaws. ”First thing he ever said to me.”

”And you remember what I usually tell you?”

”Harmony… control… I know the teachings, Master.”

”And you know what I'm telling you now?”

Anakin gave him a scowl, not greatly appreciating the structure of this conversation.

”What, Master?”

Obi-Wan pressed a thoughtful hand to his beard, casting Anakin a long gaze. There was something of a softness in his eyes.

”That perhaps… what you're feeling is not just anger.”

Anakin shifted. That was something new – and it seemed to strike something of a chord with him. His shoulders relaxed, and he inclined his head with cautious curiosity.

”Perhaps it is just what you said… a bad feeling.”

Anakin studied his master.

”Kinda like the one you had?”

”Yes…”

”And did that pass, Master?”

”Yes,” Obi-Wan said slowly. ”But only after it became reality.”

Anakin looked away. If Obi-Wan meant what he thought he meant, it wasn't something he had expected his Master to have sensed. The worst part was, Obi-Wan didn't know the details – Anakin didn't know the details. He must have only sensed his murderous rage, his darkness.

”The curious thing is,” Obi-Wan went on, ”I thought I felt something bigger – of greater consequence – than merely… whatever you did to that poor man.”

Anakin swallowed, as Obi-Wan mumbled something about Clovis still being alive, at least. Obi-Wan then hurried to clarify, as though it could help Anakin feel better, ”I only sensed your regret afterward. I was on my way to see you–” he momentarily stumbled upon his words. ”I know something happened. But I was not spying on you.”

But he had been on his way to see him on that day – apparently moments before Padmé had appeared and claimed first turn. Something of a bad feeling, indeed. Anakin tried to imagine how differently things would have played out if it had been Obi-Wan running into Clovis in the hangar and Obi-Wan staring at the busted control table.

”I'm getting sidetracked,” Obi-Wan said apologetically. ”What I'm saying is, I think this is something else. I can't seem to get a grasp on it… because, I think, it does not directly involve me. While you, the Chosen One,” he said the last words with an affectionate sneer, his tone strangely cheerful again, ”can feel the full impact of whatever will soon come to pass. But due to your… immaturity, you're mistaking it for anger at this person who has done very little to you.”

Anakin opened his mouth to speak, but Obi-Wan wouldn't let him.

”Yes, we all know he has caused plenty of trouble for your wife.”

For a second, Anakin started, before remembering he had risked everything in a throwaway joke not too long ago, and now Obi-Wan was at the very least in a position to give the two of them heart attacks for the rest of eternity. And again, he had no time for this.

Anakin rubbed his forehead, confused like never before.

”Let me get this straight. I am, once again, feeling too much for Jedi standards… but for once it's also good, because you think it's some kind of premonition?”

Obi-Wan paused. He seemed to be considering just how comfortably what he had said, and what Anakin was suggesting now, fit into the Jedi principles, and Master Yoda's views on premonitions and visions. Then he got on the ramp and walked over to Anakin, to place a gentle hand on his shoulder and look him in the eye.

”Search your feelings, Anakin. And if you can… do channel them into something good. Don't settle for just anger and fear. I know you're better than that.”

Anakin stared at him.

The Jedi Master then whirled around with one final look at his apprentice, and left without waiting for a response.

-

Padmé had often been accused of being a workaholic, but this time around she had thought she’d enjoy the bit of respite that her stepping down from the negotiations would bring. Instead she found herself quite uneasy after her call with Clovis, and not even 12 hours had passed before she contacted Bail again. The call barely got through, and she nearly had to press an ear to the speaker of her holo projector to be able to make out the familiar voice.

Bail spoke first, and with some rare, thinly veiled urgency.

“Padmé, I am so glad you called. I couldn’t get through to you from here. Padmé, something very odd is going on here. It has been two days, and we have yet to be presented with the new loan agreement. There is a very shady Separatist Representative staying at the–“

“What?” Padmé echoed. “The new Separatist contract is being negotiated at the same time?”

Bail nodded, almost drowning into the gray, rasping rain of interference.

“Yes... I was willing to let that – there is something – Representative Clovis does seem troubled – I wish I knew what it –“

With that, the signal was dead, and Padmé’s resurrection attempts proved futile.

Suddenly she felt guilty – she should have gone to Scipio. She would have gotten through to Clovis, whatever he was hiding. Hiding…

Padmé bit her lip. She had had enough of hiding. It was time for the truth to come out.

Teckla came in with some tea and imported Nabooian biscuits. Her expression indicated that she had overheard the conversation.

”My Lady…”

”I know, Teckla. Something very strange is going on.” The Senator gave her a trusting look. ”I know you're always up for another adventure, Teckla, but I'm sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to stay behind instead, and cancel all my appointments for the next few days. If it's urgent, please have Representative Binks cover for me.”

”Right away, My Lady.” She gave a bow and a warm smile. ”Good luck.”

-

”Anakin!” Padmé sprinted into the hangar, looking around for her husband’s freighter. She was surprised to find Anakin on his way to meet her. “Oh, I'm so glad you're still here,” she sighed, clasping both his hands in hers.

”I was about to take flight,” Anakin explained, “but then I sensed you… like really sensed you. Your urgency…”

”To come with you,” Padmé announced. “No, scratch that, to kidnap you.”

”Kidnap me?” Anakin echoed with sudden curiosity, smirking as though he had never heard of an idea more wonderful.

”Yeah, come on,” Padmé hurried, grabbing his wrist like a proper crook should, still panting. ”To my star skiff.”

”Wait, wait, wait –”

”I don't care what kind of lousy plan you've come up with. Mine is better. And frankly,” she gestured towards whatever barely functional scraps were left of the Twilight this week, ”so is my ship.”

”You'll… smuggle me to Scipio? Why? I thought you disapproved,” Anakin reminded her, following her outside and to her skyspeeder.

”I changed my mind,” she explained. ”I'll explain it when we reach hyperspace. And smuggling is the right word, yes.”

”What do you mean?”

”Well,” Padmé said, shoving him onto the speeder and grabbing the yoke, ”have I mentioned there is an anti-thermal-scanner compartment in the back of my ship?”

”What?” Anakin uttered. ”Why haven't you?”

”Now that I think of it, you specifically told me never to introduce you to any more of my ship's special features… after – ” She turned towards him momentarily, flushing and chuckling, ”ahem, do you remem–”

”Oh, that.” He gave a laughter, his nose scrunching up with either disgust or delight. ”No, that's not what I said.”

-

In hyperspace, Anakin listened to Padmé’s recount of the situation, her concerns, Bail’s messages and Clovis’ odd behavior - without interrupting, still a little incredulous that he was actually taking this risky and nonsensical trip with Obi-Wan’s blessing and his wife for company. But once she’d finished, he found himself only vaguely worried about the bigger picture - there was only so much room in his brain for politics and finances - and left with that one name he so despised.

“So… you’ll probably cross paths with Clovis again.”

Padmé did not look happy with his response.

“Anakin, it is my intention to ‘cross paths’ with Clovis – and demand answers."

Anakin gave a vague nod.

“And I need your help,” she then added, to Anakin’s surprise. Padmé momentarily took her eyes off the display screen and focused on her words. “Something for your own little excursion. Look, I don’t know much about these things, but since you are breaking into their holo tower… would you maybe be able to… spy on any covert networks?”

Anakin gave a nod again, an enthusiastic one. If there were any covert networks to be found, he had doubt in his ability to hack into them.

“Again, I thought you disapproved.”

Padmé shook her head.  

“I’ve been a major hypocrite, Anakin. You said it yourself. I do this all the time – unauthorized missions, breaking less than useful laws in the name of justice. And since it doesn’t look like there is going to be any new contract for you to ruin–“

“Hey!”

They gave a hearty laughter in unison, and Padmé playfully struck him on the arm, rather more forcefully than needed.

A long silence followed, and the air between them tightened again. But Anakin knew it was mostly the Force radiating off him and his darkened thoughts. Darkened – but no longer dark.

”Padmé,” Anakin said in a quiet voice, ”You know what I was going to ask of you?”

”What, Anakin?”

He shifted in his seat.

”To…” He looked away. “If I… If I'm ever about to snap again, and you happen to be there, to… give me a signal. To make me stop.”

Padmé was silent. Engine sounds filled the cockpit.

“But now I understand…” he drew a deep breath, feeling like he had already forgotten whatever Obi-Wan had said to him this morning. “I can’t ask that of you. You might not be there. And a Jedi is supposed to be able to control his emotions."

Keeping her eyes on the screen, but gently stealing a glance at her husband, Padmé softly laid her hand on his shoulder, gliding it along the side of his arm.

”Let me teach you an alternative to that Jedi philosophy of 'controlling your emotions'. You see, the emotions are always going to be there. But you can control your impulses. Your actions are never an inevitability."

She smiled at him.

"Too lecture-y?"

"It's a nice change of pace from Obi-Wan."

-

This time, it was Anakin's turn to that fall asleep on the journey. Padmé was reminded of Obi-Wan’s extended nap on their first fateful adventure on the banking planet. Before she had married Anakin, she had actually been under the impression that the Jedi did not sleep. Even now - it was a strange thing to witness. Chest moving up and down on his seat, Anakin looked almost too tranquil and innocent to be a General of the Grand Army of the Republic.

Nearing the end of the hyperspace journey, Padmé’s holo projector activated. Bail appeared as a bare wavering outline to inform her that the signal was currently so unstable, he’d have to keep this brief. He had just notified the Supreme Chancellor that the new loan agreement was a complete disaster – with increased interest rates for the Republic, as well as completely unreasonable terms and conditions. Meanwhile, the Separatists were to be given a contract with decreased loan interest, and complete forgiveness for their past transgressions, and – something that Padmé could no longer make out, as the connection shut down with a scratch.

Padmé took her hand off the yoke and plunged it into the ornate composition on her head, scratching at her scalp. This was worth ruining a perfect hairstyle for.

What in the world was Rush Clovis doing?

[legobiwan]

A week or two ago, this post was going around. The TCW plot generator CRACK ideas were WONDERFUL and RIDICULOUS and WEIRD and for some reason I felt compelled to challenge myself to write one. 

I am almost as sorry for subjecting you guys to this as I am for subjecting myself to writing it. But a challenge is a challenge, even if it is stupidly self-imposed. 

So without further adooodoo----

“Jar Jar Binks is a baker and Eeth Koth is a scientist. They are facing an intimate encounter with a tentacle-limbed life form on Chandrila. Optional plot: They are falling in or out of love.“

———————————————————————————————————

It was a pity, really.

Eeth Koth, stone-faced scientist of Iridonia, a planet known for raising disciplined minds capable of tolerating the greatest physical suffering…

…had been reduced to this.

Oh, sure it had begun as a mere dalliance. A hidden peck outside the ‘fresher. A taste in the alley outside his lab.

Perhaps even a stolen bite in a back closet after lunch.

It hadn’t been enough, though, the casual exchange flowering into something beyond the Iridonian’s steely control.

“But yousa liked my buns before!” came the plaintive cry of the culprit, his dealer in dopamine, his co-conspirator in comfort.

Once a week had soon become once a day, and then even more, two, even three times in an afternoon. It was an obsession, an addiction, and his scientist brain chastised him for the irrationality of it all, even as he dreamed of the next time, of the future, long and hazy in its optimism.

The ballads of Alderaan were now as clear as solutions, the poetry of the Snivvians replete with meaning.

Eeth Koth had fallen in love.

With Jar Jar Binks…

…’s baking.

The Gungan himself was beyond intolerable, tripping over his own feet (and accidentally letting loose a few extra pastries which Eeth carefully pocketed), wandering into what should have been high-security areas (where he was always happy to sell his wares), and announcing his presence in the research facility’s cantina with an unmistakable bleat (oh, but how would Eeth have known he even existed, if not for those commanding, albeit warbling tones?)

Still, it was time to put an end to this. Especially as the Gungan had started to interpret Eeth’s passion for his baking as…passion for something else.

Baked goods had started to appear outside of Eeth’s lab. A tray of cream horns. A pile of breadsticks. A quick perusal of Gungan culture on the holonet proved his worst suspicions.

Binks was pursuing Koth in the Gungan tradition.

Which apparently involved a lot of chasing. Something to do with their ancestors’ flight to the sea millions of years ago.

The  day a crate of dough balls - one million of them , to be precise - had appeared in his lab, Eeeth knew something had to be done.

And so he did what every proud member of the Iridonian race would do.

He requested a transfer to investigate the biological attack on Hanna City on Chandrilla.

For a few short weeks, everything was back to normal. Eeth took readings, scraped residue from the remains of buildings, and willed himself to forget the whole baked goods debacle on Coruscant. Near the end of his third week on assignment, he traveled to the shoreline, to the edge of the Silver Sea.

Which was not looking so silver anymore.

The normally iridescent body of water had turned pale and dull, undulating in wide, grotesque waves. Curiosity won out over self-preservation, and Eeth inched forward, poking a gloved finger into the mass.

He was not prepared for it to reach up with long, sinewy limbs and…

And…

His cheek was wet, a trail of slime running from his eye to the base of his neck.

The sea, whatever strange being it had transformed into - had caressed his cheek.

It was incredible.

And dangerous, he reminded himself sternly.

But like all scientists, Eeth housed the embers of childlike wonder at something new inside of him, and this was an extraordinary display of evolution. To encounter a creature that evidenced this level of sentience warranted much further investigation and he should get a team and -

“Aaaaa!”

A starchy limb encircled his leg, worming its way up his inner thigh and past his belt buckle and suddenly Eeth was not feeling so enthusiastic about scientific research, batting away the offending arm. But just as he did, another on his left tried again, and a third trying to…

“Damn this thing and its lascivious advances!” he yells, and that’s when he hears it. All the fight goes out of him and Eeth just groans and takes one hand to his forehead, only to wrench it back to his waist as the sentient pastry makes another pass at him.

“Yoo-hoo! Mista Koooth!” a voice sings, its source wading towards him through the sticky, glutinous mass.

“Jar Jar! What are you doing here! This a restricted area, there’s been a biological attack and - “

“Mista Koooooth! I knooooow!”

Eeth stilled.

“What? Jar Jar you didn’t - “

He wouldn’t.  Right? Eeth’s heart trilled. There was infatuation, and then there was biological warfare via baked goods for unrequited lust and not even the displaced Gungan would go so far -

“Mista Koth!” Jar Jar waved a finger as another tentacle rose from the mass of dough wrapped itself around Eeth’s waist.

“Jar Jar - get back you damned thing!” The tentacles were multiplying, encircling the scientist in a warm embrace. Eeth pulled and pushed, but there was no give and he was stuck with a salacious biscuit while Jar Jar stood beaming at him and so help him if he got free -

“JAR JAR WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?”

“A Giant Amorphous Bantha Breakfast Biscuit!”

“What?”

“Mista Koth, yousa don’t knows the Giant Amorphous Bantha Breakfast Biscuit? It was on the holo shows.”

Oh no. He did know what they were, they had showed up in several research journals. The amazing self-perpetuating breakfast food that devoured its chef. A feat of biology. And now it was here on Chandrila, and Eeth Koth, respected scientist, master of his craft - he was going to be eaten by a sentient, tentacled, horny kriffing pastry.

Something warm grabbed at his chest. Eeth yelped, heat racing to his cheeks.

“Jar Jar! Tell me you have the sauce.”

The only thing capable of halting the growth of the Giant Amorphous Bantha Breakfast Biscuit was blue sauce, which, was the only condiment served with the Giant Amorphous Bantha Breakfast Biscuit.

It was also probably the only mandatory condiment in the entire galaxy.

The Gungan fished through his pockets, loose change, a few spoons, and even a jar of insects falling into the swelling mass. Eeth shut his eyes, imagining what his colleagues might say at his funeral, or worse, what awful headlines the holonet reporters would come up with.

Dead by Dough.

Pulverized by a Pastry.

Lascivious Lattice Leaves Lab Scientist Leavened.

“Here we are!”

With a sweeping motion, the Gungan spilled the sauce on surface, blue creeping into the pores of the dough. The mass came to a halt, emitting a loud hiss as the entire thing deflated, sinking into the water without further incident.

Eeth stood and brushed himself off - powder and crumbs fell from the folds of his clothing and he can feel the granules of dough in his shoes, down his shirt, and his pants. It is like sand - rough, coarse and getting everywhere.

He coughed to cover his embarrassment.

“What yousa think of that, Mista Koth?”

Eeth fixed the Gungan with a glare.

“Jar Jar. No more pastries.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Not evens a bun?”

“Not even a bun.”

“But yousa liked my buns before!”

Eeth sighed and trudged towards the shore, leaving a bewildered Jar Jar in his wake.

——-

Back at the compound, Eeth locked the door to his quarters. The smell of dough and yeast had followed him for weeks, and not even the strongest cologne could rid the offending odor from his senses. After the incident, he quickly wrapped up his investigation on Chandrila, returning to Coruscant with a tersely-worded report and a number of strong words for his more inquisitive colleagues.

He glanced behind his shoulder, making certain that he was alone. Eeth entered a code on a nearby panel, and a door clicked open. He reached into the secret closet, napkin around his hand.

A satisfying crunch echoed in the chamber and the scientist moaned in pleasure.

One of the advantages of being a senior researcher was the ability to sneak field samples back from investigation sites.

Even if they were tentacled Gungan desserts.