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summerlovingbaby · 7 months ago

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Cramps

Eijiro hadn’t heard from his girlfriend, Y/N all morning, which was strange. She always woke up early to read, and when she did she would text him good morning. Even on the weekend, and this weekend was supposed to be special. For the first time in months, their was no mortal dangers, no training exercises, the couple wasn’t dodging mortar fires, or bombs, or rescuing civilians from collapsing buildings.

He didn’t get a text and it was nearly noon.Y/N was on her period, and though her cramps were usually manageable, today she woke up with an earsplitting headache. She knew it was the weekend and was thankful that she had no prior engagements, so she ignored the violent churning in her stomach, stumbled her way to the bathroom. Blindly felt around the medicine cabinet grabbed Advil and took a handful of pills before she closed her black out curtains, crawled between her sheets and placed a pillow over her head, hoping the pressure would push away the headache.

She was unable to think about the oddities of her situation. Her period was on its final day, it was technically on its final day yesterday, and she expected only spotting today. Her PMS symptoms were never as horrific as they could have been, she never had headaches, and though her cramps wer awful it was nothing that couldn’t be managed with a heating pad and some painkillers couldn’t fix.

But this pain was deep in her stomach, and was shooting painful jabs in her stomach, her head hurt something awful and she wanted nothing more than to hide under her covers and for it to go away. She slept off her headache for 45 minutes before a gentle knocking on the door woke her up.

Eijiro knocked twice before he heard the bed groan, signaling that she had gotten up. He checked his watch, it was nearly 1PM in the afternoon, the door slowly opened and a blanket covered mound peeked their head out, he couldn’t helpbut smile. Y/N had always been particularly shy, but this was a new extent.

“ Hello,” he whispered quietly, like he was afraid of spooking an afraid animal, she used the blanket to block out the light, “ You okay?” he asked.

She nodded, “ Its just bright,” she said, “ And I have a headache,” she added on. Eijoro cocked his head to the side with confusion. Y/N never got headaches, unless she went days without eating, and after a particular situation where she forgot to eat for 2 whole days, he was always there to make sure that she ate at least 600 calories worth in granola bars a day. “ My periods kicking my ass,” she added hoping he would understand.

Eijoro nodded sympathetically, he would never understand the trials and tribulations of being a girl, bleed painfully for days on end, but he was always sympathetic to their plight. He had 2 sisters who cried alot watching nature documentaries on penguins who mate for life. Life was hardcore enough on it its own, but adding bleeding on top of it was metal as hell.

“ You feel up to lunch?”

Y/N shook her head and looked back at her bed, she wanted nothing more than to climb into bed and rot away the day. “ I just want to lie down,” she said quietly.

Eijiro nodded and looked at Y/N sadly. He missed his girlfriend, they had a busy week and hardly seen eachother the past week, barley having the chance for more than a glance and Y/N really wanted to have sex with him, her hormones were driving her up the wall and she wanted nothing more than to jump his bones, but felt too grossed to be touched. Eijiro studied her face, as she chewed on her bottom lip and hesitated opening her mouth.

“ Can I stay with you?” he offered, and Y/N quickly obliged, opening the door wide enough for him to follow her through the door. He placed a hand on the small of his back and guided her to her bed, pulled back the mountain of blankets and watched as she hid beneath them, he then made himself comfortable by sitting down. He outstretched his legs and leaned back on the headboard and watched as Y/N placed her head on his upper thigh and she fell into a vague sleep state.

It only lasted a few minutes before the stomach pain hit her in the gut and she sat instantly upwards, doubled oever and vomited over the edge of her bed. The sight of her vomit sent her spiraling, she already felt gross, and now she had thrown up in front of her boyfriend, she couldn’t wallow in her pity for long because a familiar horrible feeling was rising in her chest again, and she doubled over and threw up once more.

Eijiro had stood up by then, Y/N expected him to leave, she was in such a state of disrepair. Her hair was a birds nest, and her clothes were old and wrinkled, not to mention she just upchucked two times in front of him, she covered her mouth and spared him a cautionary glance at Ejiro, to her surprise didn’t look digusted, just vageluly confused and concerned. She opened her mouth and muttered a vague apology before the ground got closer to her head very very quickly.

She woke up what she estimated was an hour later, in a strangely calm emergency room, she was hooked up to all kinds of monitors with a very concerned Eijiro brushing hair out of her face and fretting over the thickness of the blanket, while her closest friends watched. If he was trying to be calm it wasn’t working because he frequently peaked his head out of the curtiains until a doctor showed up.

She wanted to hide away from the embarrassment of it all. All her friends drug themselves to an ER because Y/N couldn’t handle her stomach pain without throwing up and blacking out, and she wanted to go home. She was never a fan of hospitals, her brother died in one two years ago and it was awful. Now every time she’s in a hospital she smells the clean sterile smell and the light blue walls and she remembers that gut-sinking feeling when her brother died, and all of a sudden her stomach pain and headache seemed bearable enough to be anywhere else but a hospital.

“ I wanna go home,” she whispered, Bakugo muttered something and fretted over the blanket and Denki took a phone call in the hall.

“ I know, just wait a second,” he whispered, “ Denki’s been calling your parents,” he said.

“ Don’t-”

“Shut up, its happening,” he scolded, “ Aizawa is on his way, you need an adult here for medical purposes until your parents get here.”

Her parents were on a trip to the States, and they weren’t getting here anytime soon. Before she could explain a man in blue scrubs with a clipboard jerked back the curtain hard, scribbling madly on his clipboard.

“ So you’re hear today because you have stomach pains, threw up and passed out?” he asked reading it off the clipboard, not bothering to look up.

Y/N nodded, “ Yeah, it’s not usually this bad,” she said quietly.

This seemed to peak his interest because he clicked his pen closed and finally looked up, “ This has happened before?”

“ Well I thought the stomach pain was just cramps, but I don’t think so because my period technically ended yesterday, and my cramps are usually manageable, and I never get headaches, and last time I threw up it was the stomach flu,” she said.

He sighed annoyed and took a few steps towards her, “ So you’re hear for period related stomach pains,” he sighed, “ And you want me to?”

Y/N blinked at him a few times, too stunned to speak. Eijoro had been waiting for a doctor for at least an hour, and was only met with incompetence, “ An exam would be nice?” he said.

“ I mean there really is no point, you said it yourself its PMS related pain, I mean are you experiencing any stress?” he asked begrudgingly.

“ We go to UA, stress is what we signed up for.” Bakugou interrupted. Denki stopped trying to call her parents, and instead listened in to the conversation.

“ Stress has been known to make period pain less tolerable, your BP is normal, you seem fine, I suggest moving to a less stressful environment, and maybe seeing at a nurse will be here in a few minutes to discharge you?”

The notion of leaving in this horrible pain sent her sprailing, she was overwhelmed tired and in pain and could no longer stand the idea of being left untreated and was unable to fight back the tears that she had been holding onto since this morning, Bakugou stroked her hair to calm her, but it wasn’t working, he looked at the monitor where her blood pressure suddenly spiked.

The doctor looked at the monitor then back at her, “ How about we try to calm down?” he said condescendingly, “ Your hysterics are spiking your blood pressure.”

Eijiro shook his head, he had no intention of going anywhere. “ We aren’t leaving, I want another doctor,” he demanded.

“ You’re requesting someone else?” he asked.

“ YES,” he raised his voice and rung his hands in the air, “ I WANT ANOTHER DOCTOR, OR A NURSE, OR SOMEONE WHO IS MORE COMPETENT THAN YOU-,”

His shouting got the attention of a passing-by doctor, who poked her head through the curtain, her intrusion didn’t stop Eijiros ranting.

“ YOU DIDN’T EVEN EXAMINE HER, OR LOOK AT HER CHART OR DO ANYTHING THAT EVEN REMOTELY REQUIRES A MEDICAL DEGREE, SHE IS ON HER PEORID AND REGARDLESS IF THAT PAIN IS RELATED TO THAT OR NOT SHE NEEDS HELP BECAUSE IT SHOULD NOT BE OKAY TO THROW UP AND PASS OUT SO FIND SOMEONE TO EITHER HELP HER OR FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO WILL.”

His shouting made Y/N cry more, he never yelled and when he did it was always frightening. She wanted to go home and sleeep it off, she wanted to be anythere but this hospital with its blue walls and antispetic smell.

The doctor balked at him with his mouth open, and the lady stepped through the curtain with a plastered smile on her face. “ What seems to be the issue here?” she asked, “ My name is Dr. Ross.”

“Well Dr. Ross, my girlfriend had really bad cramps this morning and a headache, and around 4ish she threw up 2 times and kept passing out, and I know that you think that this is just period related pain but I don’t think so, they’ve never been this bad,” Eijiro began to explain to Dr. Ross who walked to Y/N and fiddled with the monitor.

“ This bozo didn’t even examin her-” Bakugou interjected.

This peaked Dr. Ross’s interest because she shot the doctor a deadly glare and snatched the clipboard from him, and read over her chart.

“ It says here that you were in the hospital 3 months ago, was that for abdominal pain or?” she smiled.

“ I broke 3 ribs and dislocated my shoulder fighting someone,” the doctor lifted a brow, “ You should have seen the other guy,” she added.

“ Is it okay if I palpate your stomach?” she asked.

Y/N meekly nodded, and Eijoro finished glaring at the doctor long enough to watch Dr. Rosses careful hands as she gently massaged her stomach, trying to ignore the pain as she pushed down around her stomach, Y/N then groaned loudly as she removed her pain.

Dr. Ross unhooked the portable ultrasound from the heart monitor quickly, “ And the pain started?”

“ This morning,” she groaned.

Dr Ross squeezed a quarter size of cool jelly on her stomach, and pressed the ultra sound wand firmly on her stomach than made a vaguely dissatisfied clucking noise, her eyebrows squinted together, before they raised suddenly, then with a grim look on her face she looked over her shoulder at the doctor, who still stood with his arms crossed over his chest and was looking rather annoyed. She removed the wand and Y/N groaned loudly, the pain was worse than it was with stomach pressure.

“ Book an OR,” she said grimly, then she turned back to Y/N who had now resulyed on holding her stomach and chewing her bottom because of the pain. “ It looks like her appendix burst a few hours ago,” she said. “ And because it went untreated for so long it turned into peritonitis, and that is beginning to turn into sepsis,” she explained calmly. “Without surgical intervention, she will die, so we need to take her to surgery right away.”

“ Sepsis?”

“ Yes, it seems like her appendix burst right before she threw up, and because it went untreated for hours, because an incompetent doctor,” she tossed a disapproving glance over her shoulder at the doctor, “because she sat in a hospital for hours bleeding out into her abdomen because you thought her pain was made up and you thought she was hysterical, because you didn’t give her the basic standard of treatment, like an exam, she has to have emergency surgery.”

Y/N began to sob, the last thing she wanted was surgery, and apparently she might die. It was alot to handle in 5 minutes.

Before Y/N could protest she was being wheeled out of the room, down hallways that smelled like cleaning supplies, and sterile baby blue walls. She cried for Eijoro but he was no where to be found, she didn’t want surgery, her brother went to surgery and now he was was dead.

Eijoro paced around the room listly, before a nurse led them to a waiting room, then he paced around that one frequently checking the time. Denki didn’t understand his nerves, it was just an appendix, lots of people didn’t have appendix, he one read on a article that it was a common surgery.

“ It’s okay, most people have their appendixes out,” Denki said.

“ She has sepsis,” Eijiro said, “ that means her organs are dying because her burst appendix gave her an infection, her organs are dying because she sat in that ER for hours, and now she might die, and I didn’t help her,” he sighed, finally collapsing in a chair.

“ Hey, you did what you could. That clown of a doctor tried to send her home, but you stayed and you fought for her,” he said, his words were seldom comfort so they waited in silence until Dr. Ross took them to a recovery room where Y/N was lying down in a hospital bed, loopy from all the anesthesia which was starting to wear off.

She smiled at the sight of him, her perfect handsome boyfriend, who was pulled aside by the doctor and wad given instructions about her post-operative care. She would need to stay at the hospital for 4 nights of observation due to the infection, though they were positive that she would recover.

“ You did good today, I know you probably felt helpless watching her in so much pain, but you fought for her when people tried to dismiss her, you fought for her,” she said.

Eijiro spent the next few days spoon deeding her icecream and cuddling while watching Gilmore Girls reruns on the shitty hospital TV.

@kiribakuslilpebble @un-limit-edd @ultrahugakitten @ jmook423 @ anonymousbabygirl13-blog @ power-house-fan12 @imunderurbed @fandomfreak1000000 @dylan-kai2008 @cheesecakeva @lovemegood @madsttx @whatdidshesayyy

@ great-goddess-of-sin @bitchyzombienacho @polpoe

@lovemegood @eijiandkatspebble @luna670 @nealearts @bittersw33t-lotus @therapy-arts-blog @thenerdygirl111 @sil-ver-shadow @chscklvr

@itshemlock @5sos-wdw @stupidfool69 @esposadomd

@weebssecretattic @justanotherpasserby-blog @dennistgemenace @ravenswife @the-faceless-bride @supernerdycookietrashblr

#mha angst #my hero fanfic #my hero manga #myhe #my hero academia #my hero acedamia #mha spoilers #kirishima imagine #bnha kirishima #kirishima x reader #mha #bhna

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dream-does-games · 1 year ago

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I already made a brief post, but I really don't get pb was thinking with this.

Like. Seriously. It's not even his comment that gets me the most. It's MC's reaction. Like Ik Mc is supposed to be sympathetic and understanding but there's no way that didn't sting at least a bit. Like even if she didn't outwardly show it, we the readers should have been privy to some inward reaction. And for Mal, honestly idk atp. It sucks to think that Mc has probably been tortured and experimented on to the extent that she may have even been the one to subconsciously suppress her own memories. How could he? I understand how pain could get him to say something like that (we've all said hurtful things due to anger or sadness before), but it's the fact that there was no 'oh' moment where he realizes what he just said and apologizes or anything says a lot. When I'm reading, I generally don't have issues to characters saying or doing hurtful things, I take more issue with the reactions and lack of consequences

Wow I didn't expect this to be this long

#blades of light and shadow #blades 2 #playchoices #bolas 2 #choices stories you play #choices blades

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thoughtsforsoob · 8 months ago

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beomgyu x y/n

tw: this is a piece surrounding the death of the reader. please read with caution. if somthing i wrote here is off or insensitive, please send me a private message or an ask. i haven't had to deal with a close death to this extent so i might get something wrong. again, please let me know if i did.

1.3k words

it had been only a few weeks since the doctor had broke the news of your condition but it never got easier. it never got better because you knew you would not be able to make it out of this. you saw no light at the end of the tunnel. there was no end of the tunnel. just a void you’d keep existing in for ever and ever. you hated to think of it this way but you couldn’t help yourself. your permanent state of misery would allow you nothing else.

your boyfriend on the other hand, he was a mess. he didn’t want you to go. no one did. his friends and bandmates had to comfort him so that he wouldn’t break in front of you. he didn't want to worry or scare you in the last moment of your life. even if you told him it was okay to cry in front of you, he refused to do it. if he felt himself letting tears slip, he would run away and hide from you. you just wanted to see him but he wouldn’t allow it.

he took the opportunity, when he wasn’t crying, to take care of you. since your illness had left you confined to your bed, he would slip under the sheets next to you and just hold you. he wanted to provide as much comfort as possible. he knew you were feeling scared and didn’t want to show him. he would also do his best to make you laugh. he would prepare all of the best jokes for you and tell you when he got some time alone with you. he would also save all of the best tiktok videos and instagram memes to show you when he would see you.

if there was something he hated more than your condition, it was the fact that he had to work while you were wasting away. he didn’t want to go to schedules and he made it very clear. the boys did their best to help convince their company to give him some time to spend your last days with you but they didn’t understand. they didn’t care.

he would do his best to end schedules early so he could run off to see you. his favorite day was when he woke up to a group texts from his band mates saying to skip work and go see you. they would cover for him. that day, he left bed with a giant dorky smile on his face and it stayed there when he arrived to your home. he got ready and made sure to look presentable for you that day. little did he know, that day would be one of your favorite too…but one of your last.

two days later, the nurse was there when he arrived after work. this was never a good sign because it meant something was getting worse. they were usually quick visits but…this nurse was supposed to be gone a long time ago.

the nurse pulls him aside and gives him sympathetic eyes. “she’s going soon. please just prepare for a goodbye within the next few hours. i’ll stick around if you need anything.”

he starts to fall apart from the inside. not showing it outwardly. he couldn’t. it was impossible to let you know what he was feeling. he didn’t want you to cry of be scared.

he walks in the room with a big smile but it soon faded when he saw how your condition had worsened. you looked paler than usual, thiner, and more than he was willing to let himself notice. you had your oxygen rubes in your nose this time. you hadn’t needed them in weeks. it physically hurt his heart to see you like this.

he sits next to you in your usual spot and smoothes a hand over your hair.

“hey, beautiful. i missed you all day today. what have you been up to today?”

he look up at him with your sunken eyes. you looked red and puffy. “well…i’ve been in bed. i can’t exactly move from here, silly.”

he smiled at your name for him and rolled his eyes, “ugh i know. I'm so sorry. i wish i could take you outside. maybe some fresh air would do you good.”

he give him a mischievous smirk. “let’s sneak out. you’ll have to drag me out though. i can’t exactly walk.”

he sighs and looks at you with a loving smile, “just as funny as always. you know, no one will ever be funnier than you. you’re an actual comedian.”

you don’t reply. you grab his hand and hold onto it, pressing it to your face. he noticed how cold your skin was getting and reality hit him once again. you were only on your way out. you’d be gone within hours, according to the nurse. had you know? had you been told?

he didn't ask. he didn’t want to know.

he had one final opportunity for this and he was going to make it happen now.

he uses his thumb to rub your cheek and you smile up at him. you look so tired. you were holding on just for him. you didn’t want him to see you go but you were getting ready to let go. how could you possibly tell him though?

he uses his other hand to reach into his jacket pocket. his clumsy hand searched and finally found what he was looking for. it was a small, simple ring. one he’d been wanting to give you for a while. now was the perfect time. you’d be able to keep it forever.

he pulls the ring from his pocket and shows it to you. “do you like this ring?” you looked a little shocked but had a shy smile painted on your face. “of course i do. it’s pretty.” he smiles. “I'm glad you like it. it’s for you. i know we can’t get married now but when you’re gone and I follow you eventually, you’re gone be there waiting for me. right? we can get married then.”

you start to let tears fall. something you hadn’t done in front of him in a long time. you pull him into you with what little strength you had left and just sobbed uncontrollably. the nurse peaked in the check in but once they realized what was going on, they left to give you some privacy.

once you gained your final ounce of composure, you looked up at him, “of course i’ll wait. there no one else i love more in the world than you.”

he slips the ring on your frigid finger and presses a kiss to your hand. “i love you.”

your eyes rapidly start to flutter shut. it was happening. your speech was getting slower and you stared up at him. “lay with me.” that was your last request to him. the last thing you’d ever ask him for.

you got comfortable with him and finally started to let yourself go. you hated to do this to him but you know that he didn't care. as long as he was close to you.

“i love you, beomgyu.”

the life slipped from your body and only then, when he was sure you were gone, he started to cry. it started with silent cries and escalated to desperate screams for you to come back. he’d never felt so vulnerable in his life.

hours later, you were being taken away. he watched your body being hauled of the continued to let out screams and cries of agony. his bandmates had come to comfort him. they rubbed his back and wiped his tears but he still screamed and cried.

that night, he didn’t leave your apartment. he didn’t leave for the next three days. he sat on your bed, crying. he wanted you back but all he had were your clothes and your other stuff. your scent still lingered about the apartment and he held onto it for as long as he could.

his bandmates finally got him out of the apartment but he couldn’t help but take some of your things.

a hoodie, your shared bear stuffie and your perfume.

he missed you desperately.

he’d miss you until he was finally with you.

#txt #txt fluff #txt imagines #txt post #txt headcanons #txt reactions #tubatu #beomgyu x reader #txt angst #beomgyu angst

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nalyra-dreaming · 1 month ago

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Hot take, I would disagree that Lily and Antoinette are a fair comparison. True enough they both were friends and outlets to their respective men, however, Lily was not actively interfering with someone else’s relationship. I sympathize with Antoinette to an extent, but she did know Lestat was in a relationship with Louis and still chose to get involved with him. Lestat also appeared very transparent with where his love lied. That fact in itself made her less sympathetic because it wasn’t like Lestat was lying and misleading her and she didn’t know the extent of the relationship. She comes off like she was actively trying to get Lestat to choose her as indicated by asking Lestat to go away with her and telling him they didn’t deserve him and he didn’t need them. Though I think she did love Lestat to some extent, I also think there was some indication in the show that she was a bit self-serving (“promises were made”) so again, it reduces her level of sympathy because she wasn’t exactly blinded by love, so to speak. I know many in the fandom do not consider the sexual relationship cheating, however, it was framed as such when Lestat did not kill her. I understand why Lestat needed her, however, that did create problems in their relationship. Daniel states “there were three of you” so she was very much framed as the other woman, which is a vast contrast from Lily.

Regarding Lily, I suppose one could look at it like she violated Louis’ trust. But didn't the show give some indication she was aware of their attraction and supported it? Is it possible that Lestat had already been inquiring about Louis and Lily was aware of his intentions? It was always odd to me that Lily would ask a client to sit while already working with another client, especially with the racial dynamics, unless she possibly already knew Lestat would be okay with that. Also, Lestat shamelessly flirted with Lily in front of her and she didn't appear taken back in the slightest, almost like she expected it. She also appeared supportive when she told him “you're his destiny, Louis”. She was well aware of Lestat’s attraction to Louis and his intentions by the time their ménage à trois rolled around, At that point, she knew they were both queer and obviously interested in each other because they were spending time together. Is it possible that her telling Louis “I told Mr. Lioncourt you and me mostly talk” could have been her version of playing matchmaker and indicating it was a safe space? She was speaking to Lestat about Louis knowing they both were both already interested in each other; it's not exactly like she was spreading their business around town so I’m not sure they could be considered blowing his cover because that cover was already blown between Lestat and Louis.

All this to say it is understandable why most people are less receptive to Antoinette than Lily. In my unimportant opinion, the dynamics between both relationships are too different to be considered a double standard when people view one more harshlythan the other. I will agree the fandom gives them both too much importance. Neither Lestat or Louis seemed too bothered, or bothered for long, when they were killed.

[…] the fandom gives them both too much importance. Neither Lestat or Louis seemed too bothered, or bothered for long, when they were killed.

👆 That.

#anonymous #ask nalyra #interview with the vampire #iwtv #amc iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #miss lily #antoinette brown

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 25 days ago

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six weeks down, nine to go! 40% of the way there! i am tired of this situation lol but i am also doing okay. also this week i got to tell a bunch of people irl “i’m in my fifth week of working seven days a week” which fyi is a sentence that people respond to extremely sympathetically!!!

this is, thank god, the last week i have to go to bay ridge on a friday night… and in all likelihood is the last big prep i need to do for the SHSAT since my other kid taking it is also doing a class which takes the pressure off me some, lmao. i am nervous about a student taking a younger version of one of the private school tests who seems currently to believe he’s definitely going to take it again in december but if he does as well as i think he will it will be a pretty iffy proposition to get him to do even better and also i meet with him twice a week and don’t want to any more even though he himself is delightful… lol.

room very bad, kitchen pretty bad, to the extent that both of them are stressing me out a little, but then it’s like: well thursday i got ramen lunch with a friend, & friday i went to a party that provided honestly the perfect mix of hanging out shooting the shit downstairs/outside & dancing upstairs, both of which i needed soooooo badly, & yesterday i went with friends to the annual queens county farm musem corn maze, & today we had a very sleepy sunday at home of not moving and ordering korean takeout and watching michael clayton and sitting on the couch quietly while i read flowers in the attuc and dozed off… and i simply would not trade any of those things for a clean room! i think one of the things i have learned is that rest is important but another thing i have learned about myself is that fun is a kind of rest actually and the fact that every week i have had at least one outing even if quite minor is what had been keeping me sane as much as anything else.

i am a little nervous about getting back into working out after my off week just because this week i felt as busy as ever so i’m like, how will i fit it in… but numerically i worked about 38 and a half hours this week so not actually more than i had been, so i suppose i will work it out! (i am also nervous that i am coming down with a cold but luckily i am in fact prepped for tomorrow so i can snooze just about as long as i want & i took some zinc & emergen-c…. cross your fingers for me.) tomorrow i’m gonna watch my little brother defend his dissertation :) and later in the week a friend is in town who now lives abroad & i have a halloween party to attend! and now i am once again going to read flowers in the attic until i fall asleep (but this time in bed).

#isabel 2k24

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flowerwiththemachinegun · 3 months ago

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Sephiroth x Reader Made for You

This was not at all what it was originally supposed to be, original description is at the very end.

New Description: Sephiroth x Reader. Ever Crisis-Crisis Core-ish (Pre-Nibelheim) timeline. 5.9k words. In which you were created to be Sephiroth’s perfect mate. Warnings?: Mentions of alcohol abuse, miscarriages and Hojo’s clammy hands all over you(not like that). Hojo meant for you to serve as a breeding ground to create more perfect subjects. His plans get disrupted as your mother doesn’t have the heart to subject you to more trauma{trauma enters stage left as intense as possible} . In a panic she abandons you in hope that Shinra won’t be able to track you down. Eventually you cross paths with Sephiroth, creating a bond that would last a lifetime. Written in a series of headcanons, I’ll probably re-use reader backstory in other fics but i didn’t want to write this as a full out fic. It is definitely up in the air as to what happens to your mother, let's hope she will won’t be found she deserves death, i don't care if she tried to make it right. No, the dad is not Hojo. The age ranges helped me track what I was typing but I don't think I'll take it away. I’d say probably a year or so older than Sephiroth. Will make a part two for the events following Genesis’ departure-FF7 possibly through Advent Children too.

_________________________________________

Age 1:

Your mother, Levy, came to her senses shortly after giving birth to you. Taking off in the dead of night to hide her precious child from the cruel clutches of Professor Hojo. When she signed up for this project she didn’t fully realize what she would be submitting herself to, the kind of torment she’d relinquish a baby to, her baby to. She wouldn��t be able to live with the guilt knowing that she gave you the worst possible future. So in a desperate attempt to “set things right” she abandons Shinra, leaving Midgar and taking you to Corel.

Levy knows she can’t stay with you, she’d be far too easy to track down. Besides, Hojo would never let one of his prized experiments get very far. Certainly he wouldn’t want Levy to get away, not after trying to ruin such a delicate process. There are consequences to these actions and everyone gets caught eventually. She needs to make this quick. It's already been two weeks since the two of you escaped, knowing that she doesn’t have the resources or connections to stay hidden for very long sends her into even more of a panicked state.

All things considered, the decisions she made were already questionable, so it was no surprise that Levy’s poor choices led her to handing you off to some random stranger who reeked of liquor. Granted, he might have been absolutely shitfaced but he did at least seem to have a warm spirit. That was the last time she ever saw you, hugging you tightly and kissing you on the forehead before venturing on to the next unknown location.

The day Levy dropped you off to the strange man was a turning point for your “adoptive father”, Kaiser. Previously he was a drunk with a gambling problem, only picking up odd jobs to fuel his addictions. While he heavily considered taking you to the nearest clinic and dropping you off, another part of him thought the lifestream brought this child to him for a reason. That maybe now his life had purpose again, that maybe if he could do some strange lady a favor that it might atone for the things he’s previously done.

Age 4:

Kaiser started to pick up his bad habits again, losing every job he’d obtained due to showing up drunk; not showing up at all because he was out gambling all of his funds away, or the icing on the cake that led to his inability to find another job in Corel, stealing. In such a small town word got around fast, yet people still went out of their way to give him a chance, more so for your sake, not Kaiser’s. The townspeople could only be sympathetic to an extent, eventually not being considered for hire by anyone. Following these events led him searching for work outside of Corel, branching out to Midgar where he got a job doing residential plumbing.

Age 4-10:

It was enough to make ends meet, renting out a single bedroom in the slums of sector 5. Not the most ideal or comfortable living situation but it was better than being on the streets. The move to Midgar at least showed positive signs in your father, but that would only last for so long. He was always still loving towards you, though at times it was hard to tell how much he truly cherished you since he seemed more interested in trying to maintain both lifestyles when he should’ve picked you above all. It was when he discovered Wall Market his presence dwindled down to a minimum. Still claiming that you saved his life and all of that other nonsense while leaving you to fend for your own in the same breath.

Age 10-12:

Eventually you started leaving home alone, beginning to venture out and wander the slums. After a certain point you couldn’t sit around waiting for Kaiser to feed you, never knowing what he would come back to take care of or even tell you he loves you. This existence was so painfully lonely. Without much direction in life thus far you started getting involved with a group of fellow misguided children. Learning how to break into homes, shops, showing you how to pickpocket people; life was hard enough in itself, these few skills (if you wanna call it that) helped you get by. Despite Kaiser still being around you had to start getting funds on your own, especially when you learned property owners had zero problem throwing a child out on the streets no matter your situation.

You and your tightknit group of baby thugs manage to bring your string of break ins to the upper plate, securing passes to the top for the oldest of the group (18-20) and the younger of the group would act like they were with an older sibling, negating the need for passes as they were minors. Picking a different plate to explore each time you went up and stole whatever you found valuable or simply wanted out of greed as long as you could discreetly bring it back. Roaming Sector 2 may have been your biggest mistake. Quickly stuffing the tools from a car you broke into your bag, slamming the trunk shut and taking off as fast as possible. It was already a risky area to break into cars at, the spot you chose happened to be a bit too out in the open, you just had a hunch something good would be in the vehicle. All but running around the corner to distance yourself from your crime you bump into someone making you fall right on your ass.

Twelve years. He’s been looking for you for twelve long years with practically no traces, yet here you were. Had Hojo told Heidegger no at the notion of going out to lunch together you wouldn’t have been sprawled out on the ground in front of him. The minute you locked eyes with the strange man, a menacing smirk spread across his features. Hojo’s nice words betraying his true intention and twisted glee, looking into those e/c glowing eyes Hojo knew you belonged to him. Reaching a hand out to help you up, apologizing for being “clumsy”, asking where your parents are, his grin never leaving his face. Not taking the time to talk to him, you mumble a quick thanks for helping you up, immediately darting off to find the others, a bit shook at the thought of nearly being caught. Surely you had been caught, just not in the way you thought.

Despite being, in Hojo’s eyes, inadequate due to his lack of presence in your life, you were still valuable. You were another product of the Jenova Project, not quite to serve the same purpose as the First Class SOLDIERS, though you could have been just as strong. He’s missed too many monumental milestones in your growth to achieve similar results as Sephiroth. However, that isn’t going to stop him from trying in combination with ensuring you’re capable of achieving your original use. It won’t be hard for him to track you now, he knows what you look like and where you’ve been. The city is riddled in surveillance and Hojo will see to it you are found, sending out several Turks to monitor you, requesting they take various items from the shared home of you and Kaiser that would contain any traces of your DNA.

It didn’t take long for Hojo to prove who you were and that you were Shinra property, he was already certain of it after your first interaction. In the short time you were in Hojo’s presence one of the first things he did was take many samples from you. Even without the DNA Hojo had he would be able to find out your identity. Simply drawing your blood would have sufficed but he was forced to go about taking you back in a more “tame” manner. The minute the samples matched he sent the Turks in to snatch you up and bring you in, demanding Kaiser be brought with them.

Age 12-15:

Hojo didn’t make it a secret where you came from, telling you early on that you have always been Shinra property, claiming this was your real home. Over time Hojo somehow convinced you this life was better than the life you lived in the slums as well as any of the time you spent with Kaiser. Honestly, it was hard for you to tell as neither lifestyle proved to be healthy. At least you had regular meals and a guaranteed roof over your head, regardless of it being a creepy cold lab, but you were once again back to being alone but now all of the time. Never allowed to interact with anyone, your only company was Hojo, if that could count. Rarely talking to you outside of questioning you in relation to testing or attempting to cram as much knowledge into your brain as possible. Also sharing interactions with the couple of Turks he allowed to train you, Hojo oversaw each training session, cutting off any conversation he felt didn’t assist in your progression. Which were certainly most of them.

An absolute fucking nightmare. Being subjected to Hojo’s experiments was, now, the worst thing you’ve ever experienced, you thought life was challenging before but currently this is a special kind of hell. Being left in mako tanks for weeks on end because you “need to catch up”, being kept awake for the majority of your surgical experiments unless it was really necessary. Forced to repeatedly kill in order to prove your worth, doing things you couldn't imagine just in the hopes to save a “father” they’ve already killed. You don’t know this information, the leverage you think they have against you makes you more inclined to go along with their plans.

Hojo learned the hard way that your abilities to heal like the others were extremely lacking. On this particular day Hojo was, once again, invading your body. Not so much to alter anything, but taking notes on significant changes from past surgeries and experiments, as well as testing new equipment. He wouldn’t admit it due to his “singular genius” but the machine he created to assist in speeding up surgical processes malfunctioned. In turn severely damaging numerous organs and causing excessive bleeding. While, no, just any organs won’t do, he’s going to piece you together as fast as he can. Refusing to let you go after seeking you out all of this time. Your potential is too great. Quickly pulling out a few cadavers that were failures from the Jenova Project, but due to the genetic makeup, their parts will have to do. Smiling as he pieced you back together, taking organs from the other bodies and replacing your damaged parts.

Something about killing you, reviving you, and nursing you back to health brought you and Hojo closer to each other. Having a portion of his lab reconstructed into a small living quarters so you could be more comfortable while you got better. Between all of his other experiments, you, plus Sephiroth, Hojo found it convenient to spend a lot of time in your space. Partially due to his constant need to take care of you after that last incident, Hojo's day would often end with you. Swooping by to change any bandages, check vitals, asking the usual to help assess your health. You’re not sure what made you reach out to him, or why he surprisingly extended his hand out to you. It came to a point the nightmares were just too much, the nightmares Hojo instilled in you. In spite of all signs telling you to run from him, your skin crawling when you think about Hojo, you still wanted his comfort. Requesting that he stays with you for the night, telling him you were too scared to fall asleep because of the things you’ll see. Hojo rolls his eyes and scoffs at this, nevertheless he settles himself into your quarters. Crawling into your bed just as you wanted, finding himself annoyed by the display of weakness, yet a foreign warmness crept into Hojo’s chest. It was uncomfortable, it was weak, it was welcoming. The smallest smile of content cracking through Hojo as you crawl on him, resting your head on his chest. Bringing one of his arms to wrap around you snuggly. While no, you weren’t his kid, you brought out this almost fatherly sensation out of him.

You would never get permission to leave his lab, being able to occasionally roam about as he monitored your actions. If for once he was strictly doing paperwork related tasks he would allow you out as well, still keeping a close eye on you. Often finding yourself standing in front of pods of lifeless beings, half wondering if you’d end up like them; the other half curious as to what they are, or rather what Hojo did to make them what they are. Eventually you can’t help but question him on some of these things as he takes you back to your portion of the lab. Many times he ignores your questioning, knowing the complexities of each creature would be too much for you to understand, not hesitating to let you know. Eventually your constant questioning led to another connection the two of you developed, starting to take the time to explain some of the creatures, even providing you his research from a few of them. To Hojo’s surprise you caught on impressively fast, here he was thinking you weren’t the most competent finding himself able to have full conversations with you about projects he felt he was permitted to talk about with you.

Age 15-17

Hojo finally started integrating back into the real world. Allowing you to go on missions with the Turk members who've been training you. Leaving that lab had been viewed as a form of freedom in their eyes, accepting taking you on assignments willingly. Not without a sense of guilt as some of your actions would shape the person you would become, feeling like you were too young to experience such events. Granted, you’ve already been through hell, you just dish it out now definitely still being tormented. Your success rate consistently being 100% never failed to get you praise from Hojo, uttering some nonsense about getting closer and closer to his goal with you. Not that he’d ever tell you what you were really used for outside of “genetic testing”. Well, it isn’t a total lie afterall, you were a walking, talking genetic nightmare and Hojo was the only person that would ever understand what makes you tick.

Meeting Sephiroth was entirely planned on Hojo’s behalf, keeping the two of you out of sight from one another as you grew up. It was simply better to go about introducing the two of you this way. Sending the two of you off on a mission with a few other SOLDIER members to eliminate a former Shirna employee who took off with some very valuable materia. Upon seeing Sephiroth you almost couldn’t contain your glee, finally meeting someone your own age for the first time in four years. The trip to Modeoheim provided a fairly interesting conversation between you and Sephiroth. The look of surprise written all over his face as your words hint at you growing up with Hojo as well. Once Sephiroth pieced it together he was a bit confused, frowning at his own question, “I’ve been there my whole life, why haven’t I seen you before?” You’re aware of what you should and shouldn’t talk about, vaguely going into detail about the small amount of time you remembered in Corel and your life in Midgar but not quite how you were brought to Shinra. Revealing you never knew your parents and having an adoptive father who “vanished” according to Hojo’s words accompanied in building a bridge between yourself and Sephiroth. The two of you could heavily relate to each other, even being able to make dark jokes about the weird things Hojo has subjected you to. That gets a lot of worried glances from everyone around, but nobody is going to speak on it. Following this successful mission you and Sephiroth have the joy of working together on three other occasions before you don’t see him for years.

Age 18-23

Hojo had no intentions on letting you be a part of SOLDIER directly, stating that it would be a waste of resources, making it clear that wasn’t what you were trained for nor born for. As time passes on Rufus decides to make you an official member of the Turks with Hojo’s permission. You’ve taken on missions from them as is; working hand and hand with Tseng many times in which you gained his approval as well. Rufus wanted Tseng to retrain you personally, your skills already being a cut above the rest. However, Rufus wasn’t present for a majority of your original training. No worries though, Tseng is going to help you brush up those already near perfect skills. Making sure your physical training was consistently up to date and your wits were as sharp as ever. The mental training with Tseng was far more grueling than the physical training, taking you through espionage-esque simulations that could last for weeks. He had to be positive that your critical thinking and adaptability were to his liking. Not to mention making sure you were capable of making difficult and immoral decisions at the blink of an eye with no hesitation. Gaia, when the objective was to outsmart Tseng you’ve hardly passed. An accomplishment that’s a near impossible hard feat to achieve, after attempt after attempt he finally gave you a pass. Though you can’t call it a win, not when Tseng told you “Not good enough to trick me, but a mass of the population wouldn’t pick up on it.” In the end Tseng turned you into what he would consider a perfect Turk, well near perfect. The duo of Reno and Rude would certainly taint your more serious demeanor, teaching you how to properly slack off and to time inappropriate jokes so you could grate at Tseng’s nerves. Even coming up with your own Turk-Two Step for each one of the iconic duo. Joining the Turks was like joining a family, a really fucked up one that carried out a lot of unethical tasks together, but a family nevertheless.

Once you became a Turk you finally moved out of Hojo’s lab, getting your first apartment. You would still be residing in the Shinra building, instead on a residential floor. You seemed to be loyal to the company, either it stemming from a genuine place or the knowledge that there is no escaping Shinra. Being as deeply involved as you were, it isn't like they’d let you go easily and you had nowhere to run off to. Shinra really was all you had. So letting you venture out on your own just didn’t seem like it would be problematic. Besides, who else would take care of you except for Hojo, he was probably the only person on the planet that could. As sickly as you could be, it would be foolish to stay away from him, common medical practices wouldn’t be of any use. Which is fine by you, the connection you developed with Hojo is still strong. It was an odd relationship but you cared for him in a fatherly sense. Hojo was far from being an actual father figure but when you squint your eyes and tilt your head it made sense. Seeing that he took care of you for so long, teaching you practically everything you know, showing you in his own twisted way that he cares for you. You still go in for regular testing, sometimes extra experiments if Hojo wants to try something new. These days the extra “modifications” would be made less and less. To make up for your lack of presence in Hojo’s lab you make it your job to pop up as often as possible, interrupting his research unless he was working on something live.

One of the days you pay Hojo a visit, you find Sephiroth sitting on an examination table, shirtless as Hojo checks his vitals. If it weren’t for a few obvious factors you wouldn’t have recognized him. He’s grown a lot since you worked together 5 years ago. Tall, muscular and his hair had grown an ungodly amount. You had seen pictures around but that was nothing compared to physically seeing him. Quickly turning your gaze towards Hojo, giving him a hug before swiftly greeting Sephiroth and rushing out the door. Attraction was certainly a foreign experience, not having anywhere near enough time to dabble in dating or any relations that would fall under that category. To Hojo’s delight Sephiroth would ask if he knew where to find you and without hesitation he gave Sephiroth your floor and residential number. By all means, Hojo already retrieved the necessary means to reproduce between the two of you. He would much rather this process occur naturally, carrying the child yourself would very well give different results. He’d love to compare the difference between a child naturally conceived between you and Sephiroth and a test tube version.

It didn’t take very long for Sephiroth to come looking for you thinking that perhaps he may be going a step too far coming to your home. He simply couldn’t stop thinking about you, one of the only people he felt he could relate to on an entirely different level. A part of him viewing the small amount of time the two of you spent together as unfair, he deserved to be showered in more of your presence. You left Hojo's lab with such haste that he could barely catch a glimpse of you. So here Sephiroth stands, in front of your door staring at it like it might attack him. Ah, he forgot he was completely socially inept, being positive that he’s never felt this type of fear even on the battlefield. It’s okay, he’ll be spared a bit of the anxiety that came with knocking on your door as you sneak up behind him. Staring at your front door with the same amount of curiosity before questioning him, “Is there something wrong with it?” The look on his face said it all. Shock, embarrassment, you could practically feel the tension rolling off of this man. There was no denying the small smile tugging at Sephiroth’s lips as you asked if he found what he was looking for, telling you that he “certainly did”. Now that you were up close you couldn’t help but examine him, asking yourself if you were sure this was the same man from your first missions. A few moments of silently looking each other over passes before inviting him in with you. The two of you sit in an awkward silence for a bit before you take charge of conversation to ease his obviously wary mind. Guiding him through conversation seemed to fair far better, he had always been a bit awkward but dare you say it got worse. Not that it bothers you, it’s adorable watching the world’s strongest man trip over his words while talking to you. By the time he left it was nearing 1am, promising to come back, hugging you tightly before he departed. You could feel him stiffen as he hugged you, but the rapid beating of his heart told you everything.

Over the course of the next couple of years, your relationship with Sephiroth would strengthen. With Sephiroth finally being sent back to Midgar you were able to see him more and more. Of course he was still busy with his role in SOLDIER, but he made sure to make an open slot for you any chance he got. There was never quite a verbal discussion as to where your relationship was going, neither one of you knowing how to go about initiating a relationship normally. Your unspoken loyalty to each other was clear though, he was yours and you were, without a doubt, his. At some point Sephiroth starts getting you out of the Shinra building if your schedules align for it, he’s tired of seeing Shinra walls and thinks you should be too. Taking you to restaurants Angeal and Genesis would suggest he take you to, sometimes wandering the streets in the dead of the night, away from prying eyes. It took a lot of adjusting to how much attention Sephiroth would draw on your outings, jokingly offering to “take care of them”. There had to be a balance of course, you couldn’t be in the public light very much as a Turk, so having your face plastered everywhere as Sephiroth’s significant other wouldn’t do. That worked out in both of your favors, never caring to be in such a crowded scene. You would start spending nights at his place; whether it was due to Sephiroth or being outside of Shinra walls, easily could’ve been the combination of both, you could finally sleep easily. Falling into routine (Sephiroth’s subtle ways of begging for attention) at some point you abandon your apartment, only stopping there if work keeps you over too long or to grab any items you need along the way.

Being sent on missions became difficult for you, it wasn’t due to any difficulty spikes. You were more than capable of handling any tasks they sent your way, it was the distracting thoughts and incomplete sensation you got when Sephiroth wasn’t by your side. Finding it hard to fall asleep on missions just as the time you first began venturing out into the world. It was even worse when you would come back to Sephiroth being deployed on a mission. Though you missed each other dearly the distance would never come between each other, in fact the two of you were certain nothing would. You were made for him, something he tells you often, unknowing the true depth of his words. There were at least perks to being away from him for extended periods of time. The way Sephiroth would take care of you after a mission was unmatched. No, he couldn’t cook, making him stay far away from the kitchen after his first time making you a meal (you got food poisoning and it tasted exactly like military rations). However, he would do sweet things if time allowed, like having flowers waiting for you, running baths, giving you massages to help soothe your aching muscles after a rather rough time on the field, not to mention the sex. And boy, did he have a list of kinks. The longer you were away would at times dictate how intense he would fuck you when you got back. Amongst all things he was there for you after all of your missions, not all of them made you feel guilty enough to cause much turmoil. But as we know, you work doing Shinra’s dirty work, and at times the things you had to do to keep Shinra in good lighting were downright atrocious. Sephiroth being able to thoroughly understand your mental state after particular missions helped in comforting, while you were unable to talk about most events that occurred during missions, you didn’t have to. He has you and he’s going to hold you until you stop crying, just as you do for him when Sephiroth’s guilt tears him to shreds.

Discovering you were pregnant had to be the second most terrifying event in your life. Finding Sephiroth sitting at the dining room table reading, you break the news to him, not feeling keen on hiding anything from him. Sephiroth borderline passed out at the news but he was happy “You don’t seem to reciprocate the feeling, is this not what you wanted with me?” Sephiroth has said in the past he wanted a family of his own, expressing his desire to create a healthy environment, to be a parent to his offspring. He just wants to give his child the life he wanted so dearly. God’s it certainly was, but it wasn’t at the same time, explaining how reliant you are on Hojo due to your health. A reminder that nearly causes him to flip the table over, this was probably the loudest you ever heard him get angrily shouting that he “doesn’t want that monster anywhere near my child!” Watching the emotional breakdown he had as fear crept in, he might not have a choice but to let you deal with Hojo for the duration of your pregnancy. In addition to the chance Sephiroth may even have no choice other than to let that “sick fuck” run tests on them, easily became one of the most heartbreaking sights. Holding him tightly you dually decide to keep it under wraps as long as you can, knowing it couldn’t last long as you have regular checkups just as Sephiroth does.

Hojo can sense something isn’t right, your lack of presence makes that part obvious. Coupled with you avoiding appointments the last 4 months, coming up with some work related excuse that he knew was bullshit. He gets access to everything you do, everywhere you go, he could damn near tell you what the last batch of paperwork you signed for Tseng entailed word for word. Once again giving your cellphone a call knowing today was an off day for you, letting out a frustrated sigh as you let it go to voicemail. He has time today, he’s going to call until you answer the damn thing. Even stopping by your apartment, by now he knows you’re rarely there. Often spending your time at Sephiroth’s loft, showing up there was a thought but he had a hunch your lack of attendance had something to do with Sephiroth. Sephiroth probably wouldn’t answer the door for him or lie about your whereabouts. During his walk back to his lab Hojo is pleasantly surprised to see your name show up on the screen of his phone, immediately asking why you haven’t showed up to any appointments. Hojo was well on his way to lecturing you about how fragile and unpredictable your health could be before being cut off by Sephiroth's worried voice. He was speaking in a jumbled mess, being able to make out bits of what Sephiroth was saying as he was talking a million miles per second. At Sephiroth’s explanation, if you could call it that, Hojo tells him to bring you in. Hearing the hesitance in Sephiroth’s reply Hojo utters out coldly “or would you rather y/n bleed out?”

Upon running an ultrasound Hojo determines you were roughly four months in. “Four months in with no heartbeat.” Anger was an absolute understatement, due to you and Sephiroth’s combined stupidity killing a perfectly good specimen. Hojo’s concern hardly lied with you, but he was going to act the part so well it had Sephiroth questioning himself as to why Hojo never shared that same amount of care. The very moment Hojo was done cleaning you up and checking your vitals once more, he asks to speak to Sephiroth in private as they let you rest. Hojo would use this moment to gaslight Sephiroth to no end, directing all of his aggression at the silver haired man as soon as were far enough from your room. Venom laced Hojo’s tone as he asked what the two of you were thinking. Sephiroth had no problem stating his distaste for Hojo, in great detail, furiously stating that Hojo wouldn’t “fuck up my kid as you did me.” In Hojo’s mind he was throwing an absolute fit. There were no words to describe the fury coursing through his veins at Sephiroth’s words. “If I’m hearing you correctly, your reasoning is because you are scared of me?” That was the straw to break the camel’s back, Sephiroth snatching Hojo by his coat, shoving him against the wall so hard it leaves a dent. The action surprised them both. While Hojo wasn’t scared, he was taken aback. Hojo hardly had time to register Sephiroth’s movements as grabbed him up in a flash. Knowing Sephiroth wouldn’t go through with hurting him, Hojo continues his mental assault. Stating in a matter of fact way “Had you brought y/n to me the minute you knew, they both could have been fine, but now we’ll never know." “Your paranoia led to their deaths.” “And to think, y/n told you a long time ago they need me.” Making it very clear the amount of danger the two of you naively subjected your child Hojo’s creation and yourself to was reckless. “What were you going to do if they were sent on assignment?” “Next time, show y/n you actually care, get them the help they require. Not everyone’s life operates on your terms.” After those words Sephiroth releases Hojo, defeated in a way he’s never felt before. Walking back to your recovery room, refusing to leave your side until you're cleared to go.

Sephiroth wouldn’t sleep well for a while following these events, the guilt keeping him up for months. Not showing up to work, skipping meals, moping all of the time, notable of all Sephiroth’s refusal to leave your side. At times unable to cope, truly feeling as though the loss of your child and the risk your life was in was entirely his fault. Hojo’s words playing over and over again in his head like a broken record. Sephiroth never told you what Hojo said that night, he’s not even sure why he didn’t, mostly due to him believing everything Hojo said. He would break down from time to time about it, crying and apologizing profusely for all the pain he caused you, despite the million times you told Sephiroth he’s done nothing wrong. He would try his hardest to stay strong around you, knowing you would easily feel worse than him. You were the one pregnant afterall, the one to fully experience the impact of a miscarriage. Then why does it feel like he’s shedding more tears over this than you? It made his sense of guilt go through the roof. You definitely cried a lot after you lost your baby, falling into a depression, finding yourself not leaving Sephiroth’s arms for hours as you too sulked around. Despite Sephiroth feeling like he wasn’t supporting you enough, the reality was you both were a source of strength for each other and he too has a right to feel sadness. You would pick him back up, as he would do the same for you. Eventually falling back into old routines. Going on outings again, enjoying the night breeze, having spontaneous little date nights, or just spending your time in comfortable silence. Yeah, sometimes the pain would come back, it was hard not to dwell on it, but at least life felt normal between the two of you once more. Well, as normal as it could get with your lives. This peace would only last so long as Genesis deserts Shinra, leaving Sephiroth’s mental state to begin declining again. At least he had you and Angeal, not to mention the little baby growing in you again. Let’s just hope your pregnancy goes smooth this time and Genesis returns soon.

______________________________________________________________

Lollllll Christ I'm sorry I couldn't just let ya'll be happy but that's not how it's going. I'm kind of happy with the direction this went vs my original description which is...questionable at best. It's 5 am now so im gonna get some fuckin sleep

Original description: NSFW? But not really NSFW? Warning might change I dunno yet. Hojo x Reader headcanons. Sick little freaky old bastard I have no idea why I love him. I’d real deal take that dick for some SOLDIER juice. I prefer the idea of Hojo rejecting me though, makes me feel good and desperate. Warnings: idk this sounds like grooming but unintentional. I still want arranged breeding with Sephiroth. This isn’t incest, halfway through my mind said “aye dawg the lines are kind of blurred here”, we don’t know who the father is but it won’t be Hojo cause if we were doing that with anyone, he is not the guy.

#sephiroth #sephiroth x reader #ffvii #final fantasy vii #ff7 crisis core #ever crisis #headcanons #final fantasy 7 #professor hojo #oc

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enchantedflameandflower · 11 months ago

Text

A Billy Butcher Christmas

YOU try celebrating Christmas with Butcher...

Co-written with CheshireCat

*-*-*

Waiting alone in your dark apartment, you wondered what could possibly be keeping Billy so long.

M.M. had texted you that they were wrapping up the stakeout for that Supe they were trying to tie in with a known gun-runner and explosives smuggler. His contact had gotten spooked and never showed.

You stopped pacing and sat down on the couch again with a huff and then a long sigh. Billy was probably in some bar drinking away his anger. You only hoped he didn't start a brawl. "I suppose I should check my first-aid supplies," you griped at the empty room as you got up to check the kit you kept in a cupboard in the bathroom.

On your way back to the living room, you glanced out at the Christmas lights on the houses below your balcony twinkling like multi-colored stars in the dark. "Yeah...Merry Christmas," you said softly, thinking the best gift you could have would be Billy coming home safe and not too badly banged up.

Sighing softly, you went to the kitchen to pour a glass of whiskey. Pulling the bottle down from the top cupboard you tipped a bit of the liquid into your glass and then you poured some more. It was rich and warm on your tongue and burned just the right amount going down. Kind of like Billy.

Turning all the lights down, you went curl up in your favorite chair and just gaze at the lights. Billy would be here soon, and the alcohol helped to calm your worry.

For a bit, you made yourself relax but when you finally heard the keys jingling in the lock you jumped up from the couch, almost spilling your drink.

Damn...you could hear him grumbling and cursing through the door before it even opened. You knew how any perceived failure that amounted to wasting a night without nailing the perps they were after frustrated and angered him. You just hoped the end result wasn't too bad. Well, at least you knew you had plenty of everything to patch him up, if needed.

Setting your glass on the coffee table, you went to the door just as Billy got it open. “Hey,” you murmured. You couldn’t help but scan him head to toe checking for both injuries and his mood. He had a small cut on his temple, but that seemed the extent of his physical ails, at least.

You inwardly breathed a sigh of relief but put on a sympathetic face nonetheless. "M.M. told me tonight was a bust. What happened?“

You knew it was good to let him grumble a bit and get it off his chest while he actually processed things. As soon as he shrugged out of his coat you took his large hand and pulled him inside leading him to the couch.

Good thing you'd thought to bring the bottle of whiskey and an extra tumbler to the coffee table.

He sat down heavily and looked up at you, dark eyes swirling with emotions but warming and calming a little as he gazed up at you. He poured himself a measure of whiskey and put his strong arm around you when you curled up on the couch beside him, pulling you in against him, tucked into his side.

Happily, you nestled in against him and waited while he gathered his thoughts.

“The cunt never even showed,” he growled. “Worthless piece of shite. I should have known better than to think he would come through. He were only someone Frenchie knew through someone else and M.M only met the fucker once.” He huffed a sigh and took a long drink of the whiskey before setting it aside. “Fucking waste of a whole night.”

“I’m sorry,” you said softly, nestling closer to him and rubbing your hand over his chest. “There’ll be another chance. It’s Christmas Eve, maybe something just threw his plans off.”

Billy turned to look at you. “It’s what?”

"It's...it's Christmas Eve," you said again softly then cleared your throat. You'd told yourself you would not be disappointed if he didn't remember, but you'd still kind of hoped maybe he felt a little of the magic in the air and would want to share that just with you.

You looked over at the little tree you'd bought and his present you'd wrapped last night and tucked under the branches. You knew he didn't have the fondest childhood memories of Christmas and had hoped to maybe make it special for him this year.

You swallowed down your own disappointment. "I just meant he might have family or a girlfriend or something and had a last minute change of plans. We’ll get another chance.”

Billy looked out the window as if he was seeing the Christmas lights for the first time and the expression on his face lightened just a little…

*-*-*

Let us know if you want more! 🎄❤️

Part 2

#karl urban #karl urban fanfic #the boys #the boys fanfic #billy butcher #billy butcher fanfic #fanfic #billy butcher fic #billy butcher x you #billy butcher x reader #karl urban fanfiction #billy butcher fanfiction #christmas fanfiction #christmas fluff #christmas

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miela · 3 months ago

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I do not think Jegulus is inherently misogynistic but I think their existence as a popular ship perfectly showcases the larger problem of misogyny in the Marauders fandom.

This fandom is painfully male centered with an unhealthy obsession with mlm ships, no matter how nonsensical they are. Jegulus, with all due respect, is a nonsense ship. I know some people like to ignore canon and make everything up but I don’t. Jegulus can work fine in AUs but not in canon compliant fics. And whenever Jegulus shippers speak about what makes them compelling, they always bring up tropes - brother’s best friend, sunshine x grumpy (don’t even get me started on thinking James Potter is a sunshine but that’s beside the point), enemies to lovers, etc. All that is meaningless to me. Shipping based on tropes is ridiculous because none of those tropes matter when James and Regulus, from what we know of their characters, are completely incompatible as people. I won’t speak on Regulus because we have little information about it and it’s easy to treat him as a blank sheet (although I think he’s too whitewashed) but we know a lot about James, including that he despised Slytherins, Death Eaters and the dark arts. So, in order for Jegulus to work, James has to become an unrecognizable character from what he actually is in canon. You are not writing about James Potter. You are creating an OC and slapping James’ name on it. Jegulus was born out of this weird necessity the fandom has for mlm ships. Take Drarry and Wolfstar as an example. Those ships aren’t canon but they have some canon basis because those couples interacted, had a dynamic together, had interactions and lore that could be interpreted in different ways. With Jegulus, it’s all made up.

And this leads me to Lily and by extent, the other girls. Lily was the main female character in the Marauders Era and Jily was the second biggest ship. Since Jegulus gained popularity, Lily has been sidelined, her story has been co-opted, even her own child gets snatched from her and given to Regulus. The girls that before had some developed (nowhere near enough because this fandom has always been misogynistic, let’s not get it twisted), have been shoved to the side or used as tools to further mlm ships. The reason why there’s such a pushback against sapphic!Lily, per example, is because unfortunately some people (definitely not all and definitely not sapphic women in this fandom) really only use that to get her out of the way of Jegulus and that’s the case for many wlw ships in the fandom. All they get is the yearly “I love [insert wlw ship]” tweet but get no more content or develop, unlike the men.

The general treatment of the girls is terrible too. The biggest Jegulus fic, Choices, has Regulus covering up Mary’s SA and James cheating on a pregnant Lily and yet we are supposed to root for them in the end. ATYD has Mary being routinely humiliated by both Sirius and Remus and we are supposed to be okay with it because they’re just two closeted teen boys navigating the world. Pandora and Dorcas have been placed in Slytherin and made besties with Death Eaters to make horrible men more sympathetic and so they can serve as therapists and saviors to people who joined a wizard terrorist group.

I could go on. I am genuinely not trying to be rude or aggressive, just giving my opinion. As I said, Jegulus shippers are not all misogynistic but Jegulus’ popularity showcases the implicit biases against women in the fandom. Other mlm ships and I will keep using Drarry and Wolfstar as examples have also led to the erasure and mistreatment of women. But it’s harder to justify Jegulus because unlike those other two ships, Jegulus is a completely random pairing that feels like was born out of the desire to pair James with a man rather than any interesting interactions those two characters had.

Hi!

Firstly, thank you for sharing your thoughts on it! I see your perspective well and agree with a lot of your points.

(Excuse my yapping below, it helps me get my thoughts out better and to better understand your points!)

For anyone reading this, please note that there are spoilers for atyd and choices below!

This fandom is definitely male-centered and I see your point on how focused the mlm ships this fandom is on. With the ships of wolfstar, the joke-gone-serious ship of jegulus, and the babygirlification and pairing of rosekiller, etc, etc...

I understand the canon compliant vs fanon complaint argument. I think that's where the lines get blurred when it comes to people's views on ships. Canon and Fanon are two completely different ball games when is comes with things making sense and what doesn't.

I lean more towards fanon compliant fics so for me that's where Jegulus makes sense to me because like you said, it's basically OCs with their names slapped on them. It's easier to mold them to work that way, so it's easier to ship them. Also I just love the idea of Sapphic!Lily too which was a concept I thought about before I even knew about Jegulus, honestly.

For canon-compliance, I am all for Jily 100% because it's canon-compliant. You can't fight with it. Even though wolfstar isn't canon, it makes sense to have them be something where as James and Regulus wouldn't have been anything. And I agree with you, they only work in AUs or fanon concepts.

With that being said, I also recognize the misogynistic nature of the fandom. I definitely don't agree with Jegulus raising Harry, because that's literally Jily's child (if anyone does, no hate towards you It's just doesn't sit well with me personally) and it begs the question, what happened with Lily that Jegulus has Harry?

I also agree with your point about how the girls/wlw ships in the fandom don't get a lot of development. I think it's a shame, truly. However, I have, recently, seen some people have different Headcanons of how they are as people. So I'm hoping that develops into something more than just ideas floating around. I also am not sure how they are in canon-compliant fics besides atyd (which I do have my opinions on too and im only halfway through it). I haven't read choices yet so I can only take your word for it.

I do at some point want to make a full long, academic-esque essay about the misogynistic nature of the fandom, because I do have A LOT to say, ESPECIALLY with the treatment of Mary. There's definitely a lot to unpack.

I'm fairly new to the Marauders fandom, so I'm trying to learn what I can. Again, thank you for sharing your perspective! I appreciate it!

#mae yaps #ask mae #marauders #jegulus #regulus black #james potter

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burningvelvet · 11 months ago

Text

Quickly and poorly reviewing and ranking adaptations of Jane Eyre (1996, 1997, 2006, 2011) by their pros and cons:

1996 pros:

Best fire scene, easily. It actually gave me that excited feeling that good cinema gives a person. Much of the cinematic art was enjoyable altogether, including the costumes.

This film probably has ond of the best Bertha's in my opinion. She's truly sympathetic, beautiful, and fierce. probably tied for my favorite Bertha actress with 2006. She and Poole are given little time in the story, however.

Most adaptations shit on St. John. Here, that isn't the case. What little time he has is spent in making him much more appealing than I've ever seen him, both physically and characteristically. I like this, because many forget that Jane did love him in her way, and he is supposed to be attractive and nice despite his zealotism.

1996 has the best Adèle, which is amazing for me as a big Adèle fan. There is more focus on her and her relationships with Jane/Rochester. I particularly love the scene where J draws R and Adèle tries to play cupid a little, and when Adèle is offended when the ladies insult Jane.

Best Lowood plot by far. This is the first time I've been able to stand the Young Jane scenes, and little time was devoted to her early life with the Reeds, just enough to let us know she was abused. I like this choice. The young actresses playing Jane and Helen were the best and most rebelious I've seen yet. Their hair cutting scene brought tears to my eyes, which rarely ever happens for me.

Good Blanche plotline. I absolutely love the cinematography/aesthetic & set design.

1996 cons:

the actors are individually endearing in some ways (the scene of Jane and the mirror is particularly touching, as is their reunion). However, The biggest downside to this adaptation is that the chemistry between Jane and Rochester was lacking in my opinion. this is particularly notable in their meeting scene and first proposal scene.

William Hurt is a fantastic actor, and he's likeable, but he's not my favorite Rochester ever. He's alright. On a rewatch I could see myself warming to him more.

I love Charlotte Gainsbourg more for her music than her acting. Granted, she was young here like Jane is supposed to be, so I do not blame her. Visually, aside from her height, I can absolutely see her as Jane. As the film went on I warmed to her acting style; Jane Eyre is a hard role to perform due to her inwardness. I don't think she was horrible, but Anna Paquin (of later True Blood fame) as Young Jane Eyre somewhat outshined Gainsbourg.

I was disappointed in Adèle being sent away to school before the disaster and her not coming back in the end (why couldn't they have had her running with Pilot in the landscape shot!!!).

1997 pros:

Maybe the most accurate Jane and Rochester. I wasn't expecting to like him at all but he blew me away. excellent chemistry between the actors. The dancing scene was very captivating, as was the scene with him jumping from the walkway, their outdoor talks, him chasing her down the stairs — really, I was impressed, because I thought I'd hate this film. Like in the novel and in 96, both actors are a bit conventionally unattractive (well, compared to 11 and to some extent 06) - and like them, the characters grow on you.

BEST ST. JOHN (although 2006 has the best Rivers sisters) - St. John is described as being nice though serious, and looking like a statue of a Greek God with all the coldness AND beauty - and this movie is the only one who relatively understood that assignment (96 came close emphasizing his niceness). Most adaptations adapt his coldness but not his conventional Eurocentric good looks, which not only symbolize his colonizer attribute but also his appeal to Jane and the others. It's also important to have a conventionally handsome actor play St. John just as it's important to have a conventionally less attractive Jane Eyre because one theme of the novel is the critique of Victorian physiognomy & beauty; Jane/Rochester being unconventionally attractive is a contrast to Bertha, St. John, Blanche, Georgiana being attractive, so I think this element is not inconsequential. The difficult part is that beauty is highly subjective, so relying on conventional standards is key, as is the reminder that Victorian standards were a bit different from our own.

good Lowood plotline, good Gateshead plotline, fantastic Adèle with lots of adorableness & miraculous though OOC bonding between her and Rochester, fantastic costuming (though I don't know about accuracy), good Blanche plotline overall. Probably my favorite Bertha plotline for being sufficiently creepy.

1997 cons:

this isn't really a con for me but many people may dislike 97 Rochester for being passionate to the point of coming off crazy, and physical domineering as when he grabs Jane when she tries to leave — however, this does kind of fit for canonical Rochester & I don't mind it since he's supposed to be that way, but this is still arguably a con nevertheless. he does come off as too forward but i get they were trying to capture the whole overpassionate thing. it does come off as a little more toxic than other depictions perhaps!

I have very few complaints overall. I don't think the chemistry is as appealing as 2006, but it is accurate. I wish there was more Adèle, but you can't have everything.

The posters are bad and make the actors look worse than they are which subsequently turns people away. I think 1996 was marketed a bit better but that 2006 also suffers from bad poster syndrome which had an effect on me also. Presentation is important; marketing and advertising are also important in cinema. The aesthetic isn't as good as 1996 although I don't think the visuals are bad overall.

Jane is a little dissociative seeming, which can be off-putting for myself and other viewers I assume, but to be fair she is described as being like a weird little elf creature in the book, and the actress plays this very well, actually looking quite ill when Rochester asks if she is.

2006 pros:

Best chemistry between Jane/Rochester by far and for this reason will always be my favorite because it actually made me fall in love with Rochester in the end though I didn't like his portrayal at all at first (that's power! — and my love for this Rochester should arguably be a con for the sake of my sanity and pride). best Rochester imo and a fantastic Jane. I love love love the way they did the Rochester storytime flashbacks and fleshed out his character as a result.

Best and most enjoyable Blanche Ingram plotline by far (although no one likes the lack of Rochester-in-drag, the party scenes & insertion of the twin flame theory was delightful).

some of the best dialogue, fantastic Adèle plotline, good Bertha plotline, best Pilot, best Rosamond, good costuming, good sets/locations (the fairytale ambience of Jane walking outside before meeting Rochester! Rochester's weird study!), I like the extra focus placed on themes such as nature/genetics/science, religion, travel, sexuality, etc.

2006 cons:

I dislike the way they did the Lowood and Gateshead plots, and although the Rivers sisters were good, I resent their St. John plotline for the most part. I disliked the lack of mystery surrounding Bertha; I think they made it way too obvious & not creepy enough, especially in showing her perspective from the window and giving her lines (one line, calling Jane a whore in Spanish) which no other adaptation does. I was sorely bored before and after Thornfield and only really revived when she got back to Ferndean (although Jane's flashbacks and some of the St. John plotline [the references to love, reminding us of her inner thoughts of Rochester] kept me alive). I suppose there were prices to pay for the excellence of the Jane and Rochester moments. - in comparison these seem like small prices, but still!

2011 pros:

deciding to go with a non-linear structure was a fantastic choice though I was skeptical of it at first, good St. John plotline for the most part & which they put emphasis on, really fantastic Jane with a lot of good fierce moments & lines, maybe the best Gateshead plotline including Mrs. Reed & the Red Room scene (although the lack of red was disappointing, and the lack of explanation for the chimney monster is conflicting – was it all in her head?), good young Jane, one of the best Richard Masons, star-studded cast, good dialogue, maybe the best costuming, Aesthetic™️

2011 cons:

least favorite adele (not insulting the child actress, this is the fault of the writers/directors)

— this is where i call security to protect me from an onslaught of jane eyre 2011 fans here on tumblr. alright, maybe i should watch it again — but i was expecting a lot more. particularly from michael fassbender as mr. rochester. probably my least favorite rochester by far & the least sympathetic. this rochester captures the dark and dangerous part of him but imo not so much the higher feelings that define him. the lack of humour & lack of unrepressed passion/drama/rage is noticeable - rochester isn't supposed to be quiet; as toby stephens (2006) said in an interview, rochester never shuts up in the book, he's really too eccentric to even be adapted accurately; he has to be toned down to be realistic, but here he's muted too far. - i felt like mia was carrying all of their scenes on her back & that the chemistry really rested on her primarily.

Cinematography-wise, there are some gems in the stills (famous hand holding gif), but I dislike the overall muted palette of the film; many will think this suits the tone and in some ways I agree, however, I will always prefer color and dislike the epidemic of desaturation we've seen so often in 21st century cinema. For this reason, 96, 97, 06 all triumph against 2011 aesthetically for me personally, although I still recognize some of the artistry of 2011, it is not my preference.

My overall ranking: 2006 (primarily for Jane/Rochester), 1997 (excellent overall), 1996 (good but flawed), 2011 (I tried but overall did not enjoy it).

#jane eyre #jane eyre 2011 #jane eyre 2006 #jane eyre 1996 #jane eyre 1997 #mr rochester #charlotte bronte #charlotte brontë #the brontes #movie reviews #film review #film comparison #film reviews #cinema #adaptations #critique #my analysis #my reviews #my opinion

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sukibenders · 4 months ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/sukibenders/753357046866411521/seeing-marina-gush-to-penelope-about-how-in-her

marina knew Pen feeling towards Colin. I know probably you had been in love and the other person doesnt love you back but i did. And it so painful to see another person making fun if that love you have. marina did that with the unrequited fantasy line . And now, don`t play it like marina really care or love Pen. There, Marina was making fun of Pen too, she was wishing her a life without love. it was Eloise wish to remain spinster but not Pen, she wanted love with all her heart and marina want her to be there watching her married with the man she loves with her friend being a spinster!! BE FOR FUCKING REAL!!!!

(This is going to be long)

No, no, no, let's not solely villainize Marina and go "Oh, sweet Penelope" as if she [Pen] isn't grown enough to know the extent of some of her actions. That's a big reason why I can't stand her character is because of the way fans deny her actions having consequences in comparison to others. I've never said that Marina wasn't wrong for what she did, such as attempting to marry someone and pretending their kids are yours, that's wrong on a lot of levels. But this is set in the Regency era where women don't have many choices, especially in her standing. She was literally about to be thrown out on to the street if she didn't find a suitor. And I'm supposed to care more about Pen getting her feelings hurt over a crush that, sorry, was unrequited at the time? I don't think so. Again, painting Penelope as the poor victim gets really annoying because, okay yeah, she has a crush. Everyone does in life. But that doesn't give her a right to act entitled to said crush's feelings at every turn (nor does it give the fandom the right to do so either), it doesn't give her the right to try and sabotage any other attempts said crush might have with other people behind their back, and it doesn't give her the right to expose their information on a public gossip sheet for everyone to see (both Marina's and Colin's). People get so caught up in Penelope's feelings, and demonizing Marina in the same breath, but also don't take into consideration the impact, while not as severe as Marian's, of what Penelope did to Colin as well (when they aren't busy villainizing him) I'm sorry, but me personally, I wouldn't want to be around someone who leaked private information about me (and someone I was close too) and then continued to talk about it on their gossip sheet, reaped the financial benefits of it, and gave me fake sympathies knowing they were the cause just because they had a crush. Would you? Let's be for fucking real, as you say.

And I'll be honest, I do extend a little more grace towards Penelope now than I did back in the day, but not my much. I would be more inclined of her ending up with Colin if her actions were rightfully called out and she had to work through the consequences of them. But no, that can only happen in fanfic because, apparently, it's wrong to view her actions under anything but a sympathetic lens. And, back to your point, correct me if I'm wrong, but Marina gushing to Penelope earlier in the season about Colin, after their first dance and no realization of Penelope's crush, held no mean attributes to it. Her statement was meant to create a loving bond because, whether you like it or not, Marina and Penelope were close because Marina didn't make fun of her or downplay her at every turn like her mother and sisters. Marina knew exactly how it felt to live under that household, saw a perfect opportunity for escape, and in that escape, not only, thought of bringing Penelope with her or at least providing her shelter, but with her best friend, of whom we can assume Marina knows more about Eloise than she did Penelope's relationship with Colin, because that wasn't revealed until later. So no, Marina did truly care about Penelope. Bringing it back to Colin, who made it clear that, at that point, he had feelings for Marina (and don't deny that he did) why should she throw that away over some crush? Like yeah, what Marina said was a little harsh (and she does apologize later for it), but you're ignoring the fact that, prior to this, Penelope made every attempt she could to be spiteful and rain on Marina's joy (again, before the crush was found out), even turning any positive compliment that Marina gave her as some form of pitty, which it wasn't. At that point, I'd be annoyed too and Marina was far better than me at those points. Now, again, I state this was the Regency era and Marina was running out of time with the only good and less dangerous option of a good life growing farther and farther away, she has to make tough decisions because it's not only about her but her unborn children as well, and I'm supposed to feel more sympathy for Penelope? Her calling Penelope's crush a "childish fantasy" came about when Penelope was trying to withhold Marina from doing something that could have ended up with her finding a good life because Philip showing up was something that no one expected and she was led to believe that Goerge no longer cared for her anymore. But she was supposed to throw that away over a crush? And calling it what it is, even if it was harsh, was not Marina making fun of Penelope. Let's not.

Yes, I have had crushes before, but in no way did I act THAT entitled to someone as a person, especially enough to where I purposely risked someone's life and have said crush still not even consider my feelings. And even if they did, that still doesn't warrant that behavior, and I'm tired of people justifying what Penelope did. I've had a crush on someone, they didn't know about it, moved on with different people one being my friend and you know what I did? Worked on moving on too, because they both were happy for however long they were together, the crush wasn't entitled to returning my feelings, and I knew at a certain point that I had to let go. Was it kind of sad to see Marina diss Penelope's feelings like that? Yeah. And would it hurt if someone did that to me? Yes, but I also won't lie and pretend that that could have been a reality check for Penelope if the show did right. I would have wished that Penelope didn't realize that so late, but sadly that didn't happen. And it's also sad that the fandom to won't let her have an opportunity to move on because, what do you mean Marina was denying her love? I'm sorry, but love exist in many other forms, which Penelope had, and even without Marina in the picture, Colin is clearly shown to not reciprocate Penelope's feelings that way. It's sad how dependent Penelope and some fans feel about that, when it's been shown that, when she tries (get into that later), Penelope can attract people outside of Colin. Personally, at a certain point way before s3, I would've been trying to do that a long time ago. Now, because you said that Penelope didn't want to be a spinster, the statement is kind of laughable because, until s3, we hardly see Penelope make any attempts to find a match with someone who isn't Colin, who still isn't returning her feelings. In fact, we hardly see her with anyone who isn't Eloise, and there are more scenes of her dodging attempts to find a suitor than actually looking for one. She literally uses Marina as a shield in s1 to prevent from doing so so that she can spend time with Eloise! (Ngl, if my friend did that for most of our lives, I too would think that she would want to be a spinster, but Eloise still could have talked about it more with her). It also ignores how, when Colin entered Marina's life again and basically went "Hey, I'm not against playing the second step daddy" Marina still went and pushed him to go and be with Penelope, even though, from what we can assume, they probably haven't seen each other since Marina got married and had her twins.

The reason I don't care much for Polin is because I hardly get to see much growth on Penelope's side at all in the ship, especially due to the fandom making it their life's mission to make Colin grovel for every little thing (some in which he really shouldn't). We got to see opportunities even before s3 of her associating with other characters, one being with Marina and the other being Edwina but they all get thrown out the window as soon as Colin enters the fray. Heck, even when around Eloise, as soon as Colin is mentioned or shows up she's eager to dip and make her way over. She wanted love with all her heart WITH COLIN. She had opportunities to be with other people, but she wanted Colin so bad that she was willing to do anything. Perhaps if the fandom addressed this, if they stopped trying to paint her actions as overly sympathetic and let her be morally complex, then I could get behind it. But no, we have to put the blame on others.

#anon #anonymous #marina thompson #anti penelope featherington #maybe its bc im kind of sick at the moment but this was longer than i expected #bridgerton

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captainwidowspring · 1 year ago

Text

A Thorough Analysis of Civil War's First Trailer

So I was inspired by this post to watch the first Civil War trailer, and I was intrigued, for the trailer seemed to promise a much better movie than what we actually got. Therefore, I decided to compare stuff in that trailer to stuff in the finished movie, and what I found was very revealing. For Civil War, despite the title, is very much not a Captain America movie: and this trailer provides some insights into how it came to be so. It offers multiple insights into what we were robbed of, and how exactly the movie was maliciously turned against Steve and his friends. Indeed, the sheer extent to which the movie has been twisted is truly enraging. This is going to be rather long, so get ready:

The first thing that is shown in the trailer is the scene of Steve, Bucky, and Sam in the warehouse after Bucky wakes up. Steve asks pleadingly, "Buck, do you remember me?" And after Bucky gives his response, Steve is shown with an expression of pure relief and joy and hope. This is in sharp contrast to what we got in the actual movie. In the actual movie, Steve asks almost accusingly, "Which Bucky am I talking to?": and his expression after Bucky's answer is significantly muted. It is clear that the change here was done to both downplay Steve and Bucky's relationship, and try to make Bucky less sympathetic. First of all, Steve went from "Buck" to "Bucky" which while still a nickname is much less familiar. Second of all, the change in question is quite telling. The original question—"Do you remember me?"—is very eager and hopeful, and indicates a clear trust that Bucky is not dangerous. The new question, on the other hand—"Which Bucky am I talking to?"—is much more resigned, and implies that there is a good chance that Bucky is dangerous and not in control of himself.

There is another difference between the two clips that is quite noteworthy. In the trailer, right after Steve says "Buck," there is a pause, and a nicely centered, well-lit shot of Bucky looking attentively at Steve is shown before he continues. In the finished movie, however, Bucky is not shown until Steve finishes his question: and the shot of Bucky is noticeably darker, and he is crammed into the side of the frame, and unlike the trailer his face is turned away from the camera and obscured by his hair. This was clearly done to try to make Bucky seem more dangerous, and prevent the audience from trusting him.

The trailer conversation continues as follows:

Steve: You're a wanted man.

Bucky: I don't do that anymore.

Steve: Well the people who think you did are coming right now. And they're not planning on taking you alive.

Once again, this is in sharp contrast to the conversation in the finished movie:

Sam: Just like that, we're supposed to be cool?

Bucky: What did I do?

Steve: Enough.

Bucky: Oh, God, I knew this would happen. Everything Hydra put inside me is still there. All he had to do was say the godd—n words.

It's clear that the change here was once again to make Bucky less sympathetic. Intriguingly, based on the trailer, it seems like the words might originally have been less of a factor, and Bucky ended up in the warehouse for a different reason. But besides that, the conversation is also much more compassionate. Bucky was given a chance to explicitly say, "I don't do that anymore," confirming that he has thoroughly rejected what Hydra tried to make him into, and Steve's subsequent response—"the people who think you did are coming right now,"—emphasizes Bucky's innocence and the fact that he is being targeted and endangered for something he didn't do. This is not brought up in conversation in the finished movie, however. Bucky is not allowed to bring up the fact that he's not the Winter Soldier anymore, and the fact that he is being wrongfully hunted is ignored as well. Instead Sam immediately asks, "Just like that, we're supposed to be cool?"—as if Bucky had done something wrong when he was literally just mind controlled—and when Steve tells Bucky that he did "Enough," which emphasizes Bucky's guilt rather than his innocence, Bucky responds, "Everything Hydra put inside me is still there," which clearly implies that he has not in fact changed at all from his Winter Soldier days.

But what's really interesting is that dialogue that is very similar to the warehouse conversation actually does appear in the finished movie, just in a different place: in the apartment in Bucharest. Here is that conversation, with Sam's comments removed for clarity:

Steve: You know me?

Bucky: You're Steve. I read about you in a museum.

Steve: I know you're nervous. And you have plenty of reason to be. But you're lying.

Bucky: I wasn't in Vienna. I don't do that anymore.

Steve: Well the people who think you did are coming here now. And they're not planning on taking you alive.

This indicates a substantial reshuffling of scenes, because much of that dialogue was clearly intended to be in the warehouse; we have several clear shots of Steve in the warehouse speaking those lines. Also, Steve's line changes from "coming right now" to "coming here now" which implies that in the first instance, the pursuers didn't know their location, and if they were in the warehouse that would make sense. So this doesn't seem to be just a case of the trailer being intentionally misleading. And, just as with the changes to the warehouse conversation, these changes afforded the movie a chance to downplay Steve and Bucky's relationship and cast doubt on Bucky. For example, Steve's earnest "Buck, do you remember me?" has been changed to just a flat, quick "You know me?" The question has been altered to make it much less personal, and to deemphasize their history. Also, Bucky being allowed to say that he's not the Winter Soldier anymore is now moved to before the events of the warehouse, so that once the words become a factor the movie can continue to insinuate that he's dangerous. In addition, while Steve is still allowed to draw some measure of attention to Bucky's innocence, Bucky immediately responds to the revelation that he's being wrongfully attacked with "That's smart. Good strategy," so that his attackers receive a measure of validation also. It certainly did not seem like he was going to respond thus in the warehouse; if he had, it would have been an abrupt and jarring change of tone. The clear and concerted attempt to slander Bucky, and Steve by proxy for believing in him, is quite heinous.

The next thing that does not appear in the finished movie comes a little bit later. There is a clip where Bucky is shown for a second before a car passes him and then he disappears—the background is clearly Bucharest—and then it cuts to Steve looking out a window in Lagos. Given the discrepancy of location, as well as the fact that Lagos came before Bucharest, this might just have been the trailer being intentionally misleading. After all, following The Winter Soldier many people wanted to see more of Steve and Bucky's relationship, and Marvel knew of this: but since with everything else that went on in Civil War there wasn't much time for that, they might have put some quick extra footage in the trailer to lure people in.

However, it is also equally possible that this was something that actually was supposed to be in the movie but then got cut. After all, based on the warehouse dialogue, some scenes did get reshuffled: and later in the trailer we are shown Steve jumping off a truck to get a boost into the building instead of being lifted up by Wanda, and there are more assailants when he gets in the building, and there does not appear to be any gas. In addition, unlike the second trailer we are not given any hints of Rumlow's explosion, so it's possible that Lagos was not originally meant to be the inciting incident for the Accords, and that it did actually originally come after Steve saw Bucky in Bucharest. And indeed, the footage the trailer gives of Steve looking out that window never appeared in the final film; he is clearly looking out the window quite yearningly, not in the cool and collected manner of someone gathering information for a mission. So either Lagos was a scene that got moved in the reshuffling, or that footage was shot with the sole intention of tricking people into thinking Civil War would feature more of Steve and Bucky's relationship.

The next difference can be seen in a bit of audio. Natasha says, "I know how much Bucky means to you," unlike in the movie where she says, "I know how much Barnes means to you." And this appears to have been a change that was made fairly late in the game: in the movie, Scarlett Johansson pauses briefly before saying "Barnes" indicating that this was not what she was used to saying. Such a change once again intentionally serves to try to distance the audience from Bucky, and make them care about him less. So we're seeing a clear pattern here.

The next change is significantly more alarming. While Natasha is saying, "Stay out of this one. Please," a shot of Steve standing where he went after he found out about Peggy's death is shown. Now, there are two things this could mean: either 1) Marvel knew that people wanted to see more of Steve and Bucky’s relationship in Civil War, but since the end product didn’t have much to offer they put an unrelated scene in the trailer to trick people, or 2) that scene actually was originally intended to be about Bucky, and Peggy’s funeral was something that was added later. It's hard to tell which one it could be. Again, it is possible that this was done with the express intention of tricking people. However, again, it is also possible that this was something that got changed. Steve looks much more clearly upset in the movie than the trailer: and it's entirely possible that Steve's message on the phone was supposed to be something about Bucky, and Peggy's funeral was something that ended up replacing this. After all, it's not like Peggy's funeral had much impact on the plot; its main purpose appeared to be to both remind people that Steve was supposed to have had a romance with Peggy, and to set up his romance with Sharon. (And none of this was hinted at in the trailer.) Stucky shippers have long speculated that the Staron romance in Civil War was fueled by gay panic, and it appears that they might have been right. Whatever the situation was, however, such shenanigans are truly despicable and disgusting.

(Shortly afterwards, in response to an argument Tony made about the Accords, Steve is heard saying "That's not the way I see it," and this is immediately followed by Tony saying "Sometimes I want to punch you in your perfect teeth." I don’t think this was intentional, but such an exchange perfectly sums up how Tony acts for pretty much the entire movie.)

Soon afterward is another interesting change. Footage from the scene in Bucharest where the police in the helicopter shoot at T’Challa and Bucky is shown, but then instead of T’Challa and Bucky, the target appears to be Steve. The clip that is supplied here is clearly from the portion of the movie that includes Bucky meeting Zemo and Bucky's subsequent escape, based on the clothes Steve is wearing, as well as the fact that it looks like Steve is in front of the damaged helicopter. It looks like the helicopter is hanging off the launch pad with the front end sticking up, and there is a bullet hole in the front window. Now, this is quite distinctly not from the finished movie; the helicopter is not pierced by bullets in the film, and it is never seen hanging in such a position. However, more footage from the finished movie is shown immediately afterward; Steve is shown pushing himself up after a bunch of excitement, and the helicopter is behind him on its side. Given this, I'm not sure why the other clip was in there. For even then it doesn’t seem like they were planning on using it, and it is very different from what happens in the movie, with the biggest difference being that Steve and Bucky are alone on the roof. I guess maybe they wanted to make it seem more like Hydra might be involved somehow, because that would make it somewhat more of a sequel to The Winter Soldier than the actual movie was, and a sequel to The Winter Soldier was what people were expecting. So again, either Civil War really was originally going to be more of a Captain America movie, or that footage was shot with the sole intent of deception.

Shortly afterward there is another interesting clip. It is very brief, but there is a shot of Bucky running with a terrified expression on his face, followed by a spray of bullets on the ground, presumably what he is running from. This was seemingly supposed to be part of the Bucharest chase sequence. Once again, however, it does not appear in the finished movie. We are actually given very few shots of Bucky's face throughout the finished chase sequence, and in all but one of these he looks determined rather than afraid. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but considering all the other Bucky slander the movie ended up having, it does not feel like this was done with good intentions. Bucky is apparently not allowed to feel fear—he can only be determined or startled—because if he was allowed to be afraid, more people in the audience might realize that he has feelings too, that he wasn't having a very good time of it either, and the wrongness of the situation might be emphasized. All of which is stuff Civil War was apparently allergic to, in its quest to treat him like dangerous damaged goods. It seems like once again this was a thing to show Bucky's side of the story that was purposely taken away.

Following this there are two more indications that Lagos might have originally been substantially different. One is the fact that, shortly after Steve’s “We fight,” line is heard, a few clips of Natasha’s scenes in Lagos are shown. This sort of implies that she was going to help him with the aforementioned fight. Again, this might have just been the trailer being misleading: but since there were already several scenes that indicated that Natasha was going to be opposed to Steve for some portion of the movie—Steve asking her, “Are you going to arrest me?”, her line, “you know what’s about to happen, do you really want to punch your way out of this?” and the fact that she was not in Team Cap’s charge—it’s not like the fact that she wasn’t with Steve for a large part of the movie was going to be a surprise. The trick here would just be making people believe that at some point she was going to rejoin Steve and fight with him, instead of turning on Team Iron Man at the last minute and then disappearing from the movie shortly afterward. But if it wasn’t a trick, maybe Lagos actually was originally supposed to come later in the movie, and she was going to be reunited with Steve for that.

The other possible indication is the fact that another bit of deleted footage is shown. Steve is seen running and then an explosion goes off, and based on the background he is in the spot where in the movie he gets blown out of the building by Rumlow: but that does not happen in the trailer, the brunt of the explosion misses him and he is able to keep running. (And him getting blown out of the building is shown in the second trailer.) This is a further implication that Lagos might originally have been different. I guess if it was, the question is whether at the time of the trailer's release they were still intending to use that footage, or if they had already decided not to but showed it anyway.

The final change is the fact that footage from a deleted scene (that we have access to) shows up in the trailer. Now, bits of deleted scenes being featured in trailers is not unheard of, and the clip itself doesn’t really show much; all it shows is Natasha on top of a storage container watching an explosion. However, comparing that clip with deleted clips from other trailers is quite revealing. In the second Iron Man 2 trailer, for example, two clips from deleted scenes are shown; one from the deleted opening where Pepper kisses Tony’s helmet, and one from the deleted scene where Tony is with Natasha at the party. It is not surprising that these scenes got cut, though, because the ideas these clips’ scenes conveyed were also expressed elsewhere. We got plenty of other Tony and Pepper interactions that showed their dynamic, and the same is the case with Tony and Natasha. However, in the scene the clip in the Civil War trailer is from, Natasha sees how violent the rest of Team Iron Man is being and becomes upset; presumably, seeing this pointless violence is why she later switched sides. But in the movie, no similar indications are given for her change of heart. In the movie it’s framed like she was fully intending to stop Steve, but then realized at the last second that she couldn’t and let him go. So while Iron Man 2 got rid of clips that were fairly redundant, Civil War got rid of a clip that would have supplied valuable information. And the lack of that valuable information appears to be an intentional effort to stifle Team Cap's side of the story, and prevent Team Iron Man from looking bad.

That is all the changes there are, but there is one other thing. One of the last things shown in the trailer is the "He's my friend/So was I," exchange. This is also what is said in the movie: but the fact that the trailer so prominently featured Steve and Bucky's relationship helps highlight just how ridiculous that exchange is. I wonder if that is another reason why Bucky and Steve's relationship was so carefully downplayed.

Now, again, considering that this is just a trailer, it is hard to tell how much of the stuff that was shown was originally supposed to be in the movie, and how much of it was the trailer being purposely misleading. After all, trailers are deceitful all the time, and the second trailer was also cut in deceptive ways. However, unlike the first trailer it does not show anything that is substantially different from the finished movie: so considering the abundance of unused footage in the first trailer, there very well might have been significant changes made after that trailer's release. Indeed, this film was supposed to be a sequel to The Winter Soldier before it became Iron Man 4, so it might have originally been less of a clown show. A sequel to The Winter Soldier is certainly what most people were expecting. It’s just hard to tell whether there had originally been more of an effort to make one, or whether the trailer was just stringing people along.

In conclusion, looking at the differences between the first Civil War trailer and the actual movie is quite revealing. The Russos said in the director's commentary that in making the film, the hardest thing for them to do was "to balance the characters, and constantly recalibrate, through the writing, through the acting, through editorial, to make sure you could walk out of the movie, and really be conflicted,”: and even with the few changes the first trailer gives us insight into, it is clear that this involved arranging things to purposely minimize Steve and Bucky's relationship, curtailing Bucky's role in the movie and making him look as unfavorable as possible, and deleting things that would either make Team Iron Man look bad or make Team Cap more sympathetic. Civil War was billed as a Captain America film, but considering how deliberately the movie was turned against him and his friends, it is quite clear how untrue that is.

Truly, it is exceedingly tragic that the third Captain America movie was turned into the Iron Man 4 mess it ended up being, when it should have been a continuation of everything that was set up in The Winter Soldier. And based on the fact that the first trailer seemed to promise those things, as well as the fact that even the second trailer was cut to make it look like Bucky would have a bigger role and Natasha would reunite with Steve (though Sam was largely left out), the makers of Civil War knew exactly where they were falling short. But unfortunately, they made no efforts to repair such deficiencies, and even now we are still waiting for Cap 3.

#still waiting for cap 3 #anti captain america civil war #anti ca:cw #stucky #anti russos #marvel meta #team cap #long post

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girldraki · 1 month ago

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its not on the article but TFV was quoted saying "Francis was fat. He was fat how whole life. He was born fat, he was a fat kid. He was brought into the foundation fat."

(1) i think this is probably a slight overcorrection from (and much better than?) the uhh interesting bits in the rituals draft where they said something about how he Started To Appear Fatter Without Gaining Weight implied to be some kind of attempt at anomalous self-disfiguration to appear unattractive (i think. it's been a minute)

(2) fatness is kind of subjective on the lower end honestly 🤷‍♀️ we were caught up on the "obese" namedrop because it, while being fake, is rather materially not subjective but, like, the precise extent to which he appeared fat is somewhat less important than it being a thing generally

(3) if nothing else, clef being fat is a canon element established elsewhere in not a particularly nice way and this clearly seems to have been an attempt to reckon with it in a sympathetic way... the thought counts (?)

that being said it is objectively funny, to continue using a fake concept, that hes at the absolute minimum bmi to be considered even "overweight". this miiight be supposed to be diegetic about him not eating during the marathon running session/due to the abuse but i cba to check + wayback is down last i heard; choosing to call it 50/50 between "diegetic malnourishment" and "tfv has no idea how weight works" (MANY such cases!)

#ask #anonymous #Proud to admit we have no fucking clue what weight/height looks like really. We just draw the damn bodies #I would simply not supply a number if not absolutely necessary but we're trying i guess to establish he is RELATIVELY fatter than her?#This may in fact have been the only thought put into the whole thing. Writing is beautiful ❤

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neonthewrite · 1 year ago

Text

Grey Landing (Part 9)

GT July continues (in October, Don't Worry About It)!

The prompt this time is "Intimidate" and there were literally too many options for this one. I ended up going with some more of Isaac's misadventures, because, well. He's got a few giants trying to make sure he knows he's tiny and strange (he knows). Also, the language barrier makes it a bit more fun, in my opinion.

Thanks everyone for your patience with these!

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)

(Part 10)

~~~

Getting caught by a giant had been bad enough. Watching them reel in fish the size of whales had driven home how dire his situation was in this strange place. Isaac’s nerves all seemed to light up when Clei, the one giant who seemed halfway sympathetic, dropped him into Gufnad’s waiting palm. He flinched and tried to twist in the air as if he’d somehow flow around the unfriendly hand before it could catch him. He gave a yell as he landed anyway in that grasp and a giant hand, callused from years of work, closed tightly around him.

“Don’t do something I’m gonna regret, you great fool! Ain’t done nothin’ wrong to you or yours!”

The giant met his protest with a scoff and a glare that looked like it usually worked to shut someone up. Here was a man in charge of looking after the household, providing what he could and keeping it safe from harm. To an extent, Isaac understood. He was an outsider here, had washed up from nowhere. Unknown could mean trouble.

But these were bloody giants, for God’s sake. If anyone had cause to be so distrustful, it was the man who’d spent time in a pocket.

Gufnad’s heavy steps rattled all the way up to his unforgiving hand as he stomped over to the dining table, a single, thick slab of wood propped on sturdy legs. There was a wooden bowl of low ferns sitting as a centerpiece, as well as some steins the size of Isaac’s late fishing boat. He didn’t get a chance to notice much more than that about the decor before the hand around him relented and he dropped several feet to the polished table top.

It only looked like a few inches to the giants, he supposed. But it was starting to wear on him, all this rough handling. Isaac tried to land on his feet so he could get right back to his faceoff with the damn giant. He tried; but he only had so much strength left. He fell to a knee and winced.

Giant hands slammed into the table on either side. Isaac looked up in alarm to find Gufnad leaning over him, a storm of distrust in his wild eyes. Isaac let himself shudder. He didn’t let himself cower away. If he allowed the man to intimidate him now, he’d never come back from it.

To that end, Isaac freed his fish hook from his belt and held it low but ready. In his periphery, the other two giants sidled around so they could watch the proceedings, whatever they ended up being. Clei might be cowed by this man, might bend over backwards to follow any order. Isaac hadn’t sailed under a captain in years and he wasn’t about to go back to it.

“Well?” He goaded, perhaps against better judgment. “You bloody well have my attention, Gufnad. If you got somethin’ to say, would you aim it that way and stop breathin’ down my neck?”

His tone came across, even if his words didn’t. The other giants gasped, and Gufnad scowled even deeper. He hissed a word that definitely wasn’t polite, lifted a hand, and swept it towards Isaac slowly, threateningly.

Isaac snarled back and pushed himself to a stand. While he lifted his claimed fish hook at the ready with one hand, he held out the other in warning. “Don’t.”

The hand stopped its approach, to his surprise. Then, it curled into a fist and slammed decisively into the table, causing a jolt under Isaac’s planted boots. More words dropped on him from overhead, spoken with disdain and narrowed eyes. It might have been a simple insult. It might have been a question. Isaac had only heard a few of their words so far.

“I. Don’t. Under. Stand. You,” he said, bellowing up at the man and trying to match his volume. As he did, he gestured with each word, broad movements of his hands and fish hook that he hoped might convey how damn pointless it was to keep saying nasty things to him.

Gufnad was ready to say more. He opened his mouth, probably some new insult that’d probably make a priest faint if he was any kind of sailor at all. But before he could get out more than a syllable, someone else spoke up, in much more measured tones. “Gufnad. Pruhi ugedal.”

Isaac couldn’t risk taking his focus off of Gufnad, so he saw as he looked away, as his face softened a touch for the woman. “Trydi …”

Trydi huffed. In the corner of his eye, Isaac saw the unmistakable stance of folded arms and tilted head. He’d seen his mum take that exact pose many a time, and there was no arguing with her then. She enunciated each foreign syllable clearly, though whether that was from frustration or some attempt to be clear to both of them Isaac couldn’t say. “Gufnad. Laor gre. Gedal. Prygwu brefr, kaigwaf ‘ag.”

Clei started to say something, too, but Gufnad and Trydi both shot him a look and his voice tapered away. Finally, Gufnad turned his focus back down to Isaac. Isaac tensed as the man moved, straightening up but somehow looming less than he had moments before. Those narrowed eyes promised that their would-be argument wasn’t over. But whatever Trydi had told him, he had little choice but to comply. Isaac hesitantly lowered his fish hook.

“Kaimu,” Trydi said next, the word sounding like mew. The others didn’t respond. Gufnad raised an eyebrow down at Isaac. She spoke again, more stern than before. “Kaimu.” Isaac turned his head, giving it until the last second to actually switch his gaze to Trydi.

The first time he’d seen her, she’d been smiling at her family’s return, radiant and colorful. Now, the colorful patchwork clothing remained, but she wore a doubtful look on her face. He’d seen that chiding expression before, after getting into trouble. The only thing missing was his mother’s withering disapproval in her eyes. Instead, there was distrust there. Isaac found himself more intimidated by Trydi than Gufnad had managed all day.

Assured she had his attention, Trydi uncrossed her arms and held out one of her hands. The fingers twitched a few times in an insistent beckoning motion. A get-over-here-right-NOW gesture that demanded he comply.

Isaac glanced at the hook in his hand. It didn’t seem so necessary, though he knew Trydi could probably swat him across the room as easily as Gufnad could. He had a feeling she wouldn’t; if she wanted Isaac destroyed, she wouldn’t have made Gufnad back off. He stowed the hook in his belt again, held his head high, and made his way closer to the lady of the house.

She pursed her lips as he approached. There was trepidation there, which felt silly on a giant face. Whatever these people were afraid of, Isaac didn’t have any plans to deliver. He’d say as much if he thought it’d make a difference.

He stopped when Trydi drew her hand back at his approach, and then tensed when it came back towards him. “Trydi?”

She paused, startled by the sound of her name from the stranger in her midst. Then, with a huff, she gingerly closed the distance, reaching over him to grip the edge of his improvised shield in her thumb and finger. Isaac choked on a noise of surprise as she lifted him up by it, the leather cord digging under one arm while he scrambled to grip it tightly.

“Careful, lass!” The words meant nothing to them, and he knew that, but the admonishment dropped out of him all the same while his stomach dropped to his toes. Dangling by his own improvised knots was a test of his skills that he hadn’t expected to face so soon. If the cord didn’t hold well on that abandoned fishing reel, he’d drop right back to that unforgiving wooden table, and she only lifted him higher. His legs curled upwards as if to protect him from the drop.

Trydi held him at arm’s length, and Isaac once again recognized her posture, so similar to when his mum found a mouse in the house and snatched it up by the tail. His heart hammered at the thought of being tossed right out a window after coming all this way. The giant turned, but instead of heading for the windows, she crossed to the kitchen area. Her free hand snatched at a tall, broad bowl carved from wood, waiting at the back of a counter. It was a few heads taller than Isaac, and as wide as a fancier man’s bedroom, so he didn’t have to guess what it was for.

Indeed, his stomach did more odd flips as the dangling grip on him lowered him right into that container. Despite the quick movements, Trydi set him down much gentler than Gufnad had done. Isaac fell to a seat and looked warily up at her.

She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, scanning the size of the bowl compared to him. Isaac would probably be able to climb out, on a good day. At this point, though, he wasn’t sure he wanted to try. He was exhausted. He stared back at her, wary as ever.

From his view in the bowl, Isaac could no longer see the other giants, only Trydi with the backdrop of all her hanging herbs overhead. “Dyu,” she said, turning away. “Hi styuluges pruf.” She disappeared and giant footsteps creaked on the wooden floors as they hurried to follow whatever command she’d given them.

Isaac prepared to sit there waiting for their eventual verdict, listening to them enjoy a giant’s dinner and wishing he’d avoided that first capture. Enormous chairs scraped against the floor. Plates clattered against the table. The stew filling the room with its aroma plopped into waiting bowls. Clei passed by close enough once to send Isaac a guilty look. Gufnad ignored him.

Trydi returned, looming overhead with her hand held before her. That distrustful look remained, and Isaac returned it, until the hand lowered. She didn’t come any closer to him than she had to, but when she tilted her hand, a torn piece of bread and cheese tumbled over her fingers and landed near Isaac’s boots.

They were crumbs to the giants. To Isaac, he might as well have a full loaf of bread and most of a small wheel of cheese. His stomach practically howled at the sight.

Before diving for them like the starved castaway he was, Isaac clapped his weary, calloused hands together in an attitude of prayer and looked up at the woman before she could turn away. “I know this don’t mean a thing to you, but thank you, lass. Thank you.”

She gave him an odd look, her eyes flickering away for an instant before she shook her head. “Bru, kaimu.”

And then she was gone, attending to her own dinner and to her family. Isaac cared not for the somewhat clipped conversation happening just beyond his sight. He grabbed the food Trydi had graciously given him and was determined not to waste a single crumb.

~~~

@not-a-space-alien

@amenarae

@starskichild

#gtjuly #gtjuly2023 #mywriting #gt #g/t #giant tiny #g/t handheld #handheld #trapped #threatening #giant sailor #language barrier #isaac grey #clei cefniad #gufnad #trydi #food #giant food

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