#having to write an ep for every week back then was different

[mzannthropy]

The writing in Gilmore Girls can make you feel really frustrated...

[eureka-its-zico]

Residuals Pt 3

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: You and Robby spent seven long years together until the day it ended. You’ve done your best to create space; to become invisible. You can’t miss what you don’t see. Unfortunately, the universe (Gloria and the Board of Directors) seemed to have missed the memo.

Pairing: Michael ‘Robby’ Robinavitch x Reader

Genre: Established previous relationship, slight age gap (by about 15 years give or take), a little bit of tension mixed in with a little bit of hate yearning, cause she’s a saucy angsty fic ok

A/N: Screaming at the top of my lungs because you have all been so incredibly lovely and sweet. I appreciate every single one of your comments, reblogs, and your excitement over this spur-of-the-moment series idea. Honestly, I can gush forever. Thank you! This chapter is centered around a little extra backstory on their relationship (briefly). I noticed it's around ep. 4 when everything starts popping off in the show (and I have scenes already pre-written cause I’m excited!) so I hope the story stays entertaining and true to showing slow insights into characters, their flaws, and being human. As always, I hope you all enjoy this next chapter. Much Love. Jenn

Thank you to the bestie @viridian-dagger for humoring me and checking all of my work. Thank you for helping keep me sane.

Words: 7208

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You remembered with agonizing clarity the last day you’d seen Robby. You could recall down to the very marrow of the hour how you’d watched him grab his backpack and head out the door. 

If you weren't careful, your subconscious loved to dredge that particular memory up in frequent rotation. 

If you weren’t careful, always on mental high alert, the memories came violently to the forefront demanding that you remember what it felt like to walk the halls of your home in nothing but his shirts. It had you up late in the middle of the night writing a list of all the achingly obvious differences between the empty bed you now slept in and the one you’d shared with him. How his large frame curled against your back or how his nose pressed into the crook of your neck before he woke you, trailing kisses down your collarbone. 

Sometimes, Robby held you so tight you’d jokingly ask if he was trying to morph together like The Thing. 

You’d gotten used to the quiet in your home. The lack of security knowing another person was there. You’d learned to portion down your meals, so you didn’t make some on accident for two, or three when Jake was home for the week. You did laundry less and didn’t have to fold as much. There was no one to help you build furniture or tear it down. The trash was handled by you and only you. Dishes sat questionably for longer in the sink than they should’ve. There were no hands on your hips to keep you steady as you demanded to be an independent woman and use the step ladder to change broken fixtures and lightbulbs. No car rides with blues gently playing through the speakers with his hand on your thigh. 

No. You were reminded every minute of every day since you’d left of what you lost. What you chose to leave behind.

The day you left you’d waited in the hall. In the past, before the pandemic, before the world went to shit and stopped making sense, Robby waited for you to send him off. You’d bring him his backpack full of protein bars, a homemade sub sandwich (if he ever got to it), and instant coffee packets when he didn’t. The moment you were close enough for him to grab - to touch - Robby would reach for you. 

Before Robby, you didn’t know what it felt like to be worshipped; to be craved and wanted so badly that they couldn’t wait for the moment they could touch you. The safety of trusting someone because they loved you without pretense allows you to be comfortable enough to be good, bad, weird, and everything in between. 

“You’re my favorite person.” He’d told you this randomly, while you’d both been curled up on the couch. Your cheek pressed against his chest. You heard the slight change in rhythm before he spoke. It was an answer to a question you’d asked weeks ago. One he refused to answer because “What are we in junior high?” 

You didn’t believe in fairytales or the idea of perfect relationships. You believed in what someone’s actions said about them when they tried to cover them up with words. You didn’t know what it was like to have someone choose you, all of you, until Robby. 

Whenever he had the chance, Robby was always touching you - light traces of fingers that drew aimless doodles in your skin while he read. His hand glided across your back as he passed you in the kitchen or the hallways at work. Once Robby learned how much you loved having his hands on you, he found ways to use them all the time - in ways that made you feel secure and others that were far from innocent. 

But out of everything, Robby always made sure you were taken care of and, most of all, loved. 

Usually, when Robby departed from the house, he used his large frame to crowd into your space. Possessive hands snaked around your waist to pull you flush against him. Every time, like clockwork, you eagerly respond to his touch. Your neck already falling back just enough for his mouth to slate over yours.

Those memories of better days, days where you didn’t have to question if he still loved you, are what made the last day so hard. You stood there, silently hoping that he would turn around. That Robby would just stop putting in his air pods, looking everywhere but at you, and finally acknowledge you. You didn’t want your last fight to be what you remembered - the words you’d hurled at one another with tired vehemence the final thing you heard. 

You just wanted him to love you like he used to. But the problem was, you weren’t sure if you could love him how you used to anymore either. 

“I think you should take Kiara up on her offer, Michael. You need to speak with someone even if it isn’t her.”

“Jesus,” he huffed. A hand scrubbed at his face before latching behind his head. His eyes screwed tight as if he could simply blink the conversation away. “Here we fucking go again.”

“Yes, here we go again. We wouldn't have to keep doing this merry-go-round around the issue if you would just admit - “

“Admit what?” His voice rose in challenge, and it took every ounce of you not to return it. “You seem to want me to say I’m broken so you don’t have to be the only one.”

“That’s bullshit,” you scoffed, pushing your dinner plate further down the table. 

You weren’t hungry anymore.

“It’s not bullshit! I’m not the only one in this room who won’t be honest with themselves.”

“That’s real rich coming from you, Michael. If you think that’s true, look me in my eyes and admit you don’t feel some type of way since he passed. And I never once fucking said that you were broken - “

“That’s the point! You don’t have to. I can see it in the way you look at me. The way you talk to me. It’s like no matter what the fuck I say you don’t believe me. You just want me to be depressed like - “

“Like what, Michael.”

The room went glacial cold. Your eyes turned to slits as you waited for him to finish his sentence. A piece of you prayed he didn’t because you didn’t know how much more you could take before you finally broke. 

“Like you,” he sighed, voice defeated as if he hated saying it as much as you hated hearing it. “You haven’t been the same since -”

“Shut up.”

“- it happened and I’m sorry. I - I wish I’d been there - “

“I said shut up! Jesus, just stop talking!” 

The venom in your voice was toxic. It had your arm lashing out and shoving the plate of food off the table. The sound of tableware clattering and glass breaking dimmed the flash of anger enough to be embarrassed at your outburst. You hadn’t meant to do it. Just like you hadn’t meant to do a lot of things since Adamson passed, since the pandemic, and…since you received the news. 

It was written plainly in the silence held between you. The unspoken depression from two different spectrums left you both unable to help the other. Neither of you knew how to bridge the gap your stubbornness bred.

Doctors were historically the worst patients because of that very reason. Pride. You used to believe Robby and you didn’t share an ounce of it between you, but you’d been wrong. You forgot you were both human and flawed.   

“I just want to help you, Michael. Please. Ever since Adamson passed and - and what happened - “

“He doesn’t have anything to do with what happened! What happened fucking happened because it’s nature. It’s - it just wasn’t our time. You’ve got to stop beating yourself up for something you have no control over. How many times have we told our patients this?” Robby looked up from his hands and you wished he hadn’t. His watery eyes were close to spilling; the tsunami of pain was all-consuming and when he whispered your name before he spoke again, you wanted to shatter. “You’re killing yourself from the inside out with this self-hatred.”

How many times have you been told that exact thing? It was an unfortunate natural process. It just ‘happened’. Every word is sterile and scientific which makes you feel less and less like a person. And what about the news that came after? Was that natural too? 

Maybe you were the one who was broken.

“Adamson happened too, and you haven’t been the same since we lost him. You’re on edge more, Mike. You snap at work and home. You’re closed off. You’re so desperate to put it under the rug that we only focus on me? Bring up my faults so we can bury yours.”

A sneer pulled up his lips as he turned away from you. His eyes scan over the shelves and furniture in the room - looking everywhere but at you. 

“You just want to help me? That’s what you keep feeding yourself but in reality, you just want me to be who I was before this. I don’t know if I can be that man again and when I tell you that, you act like a fucking child going around slamming doors.” Shame flushed up your face, turning your cheeks red with embarrassment. You’d done that and worse. You thought you could wait whatever this was out until it got better. But it wasn’t better. It was worse and you were so, so tired. “You want to focus on me but what about you?”

“You aren’t the only one hurting - that lost someone. You left me! You fucking left me to deal with it all on my own. Where the fuck were you when I needed you?”

“I’ve been right here with you!” Robby shouted back. “I’m right here with you, baby, but you don’t fucking see it. You won’t let me in.”

The tears you struggled to contain escaped in one shaky exhale. You carried around so much of your shame and guilt - tried repairing the cracks with quick fixes so Robby wouldn’t see because the last thing you wanted was pity. You didn’t want the confirmation that you were irreparably broken. 

“But you’re not here. Are you? Not really.” 

The earlier flash of rage was extinguished with each word. This job was a marvel and a curse. It took and took without forgiveness. Sometimes you’re fighting to save people who don’t want to be saved; who’ve never known the support and love they needed to believe they were more than their demons. Who wanted to succumb to a brief drop of loneliness in the ocean of a lifetime. Or you saw the ugliness that people did to one another and left you having an existential crisis if someone’s bad choice made their life unworthy of saving. 

Robby dealt with all of these things daily. He shouldered them for every friend in the hospital. For every patient who needed the strength of his resolve and the care he delivered. He gave all that and more during the pandemic and now he’d given so much that there wasn’t much left to tend to himself. 

Robby used to lean on you for just about everything. Sometimes, your talks were gradual - opening up little by little until everything was exposed. Other times, they came in bursts. A rush of words said too fast because if neither of you just ripped the band-aid off and said it, nothing would ever get fixed. Now all of that came to a screeching halt. You didn’t know what he was feeling anymore or thinking. He shut you out in so many ways. You tried to break through and failed. 

You both stood at separate spectrums of grief and neither of you knew how to reach the other anymore.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

You hadn’t meant about your relationship. You wish you could’ve said that - informed him that the despair and betrayal of your own body left you in a place of purgatory. The pandemic stripping you bare and raw pressing salt into every wound. How was Robby supposed to love you if you didn’t know how to love yourself?

But it’s not how it sounded leaving your lips. It’s not how he took it as you watched his shoulders deflate. The emptiness that hollowed out his eyes in protection and left them empty as you felt. 

“No one is forcing you to stay.”

You never did get to tell him you saw him - saw that he’d been there waiting for you to open up. He wasn’t who he was, but he’d still tried the best he could in whatever ways he could. In the end, you believed you deserved punishment. 

Maybe that’s what losing Robby was - the universe's way of dishing it out for a wrong you never knew you committed. 

It felt suffocating; your chest caved to create a black hole of grief that felt never-ending. You watched as the pandemic tore him down piece by piece - shredding him to ribbons. So many lives were ravaged by the virus with no way to combat it. You remembered the overwhelming, crushing feeling of seeing dozens of patients lining hallways because there were no more beds. Every doctor, nurse, RTs, and CNAs struggled to care for every patient and be with those in their final moments because the families couldn’t. It was chaos. It was frightening. It felt like it would go on forever. The last thing anyone expected was for Adamson to get sick. For the virus to infiltrate his body and claim his life. 

Robby had run outside, tearing off his hazmat suit. Unable to breathe around the soul-crushing grief that constricted the air from his lungs. He’d crumbled like a house of cards as you held him in your arms, but he wasn’t allowed to grieve. He was a doctor, you were still a fucking doctor, and neither of you were allowed to grieve. You needed to compartmentalize; sew up the fraying edges of your grief and go back inside and be the doctors everyone needed.

It was agony watching what came after. The way he struggled day and night to get any amount of rest while wrestling with his demons. The guilt kept him up at night and woke him screaming covered in a cold sweat. Eventually, he stopped sleeping in bed with you all together. Slowly, you saw him less at home and only at work. You watched while the anxiety ate him alive and transformed him into someone you could barely recognize, and you felt helpless against it. At any moment, the pain in your chest would swallow you whole.

And just when you thought, given a few months, you’d be able to find new joy in your life, it all came crashing down again.

So, you waited in that hallway. You waited for any sign that you should stay. You waited to see if you’d change your mind and begin to be honest with him. You waited for him to at least turnaround and look at you - for the recognition of the life you’d had months before to flash in those beautiful brown eyes. You waited in the hallway even after he’d left - waited for your tears to dry before you went upstairs to pack up your old life and find a new one. 

You’d expected a lot of possibilities when Gloria brought you back down to the Pitt. You considered all the variables and the endless amount of what-ifs. It felt inevitable for you to end up in this very situation; him being the attending, in charge of the Pitt, and overseeing a case. The only thing you hadn’t accounted for was how the heat of his body pressed against your back made you forget how to breathe. Your mouth suddenly dry and your heart pounded violently against the ache in your chest. 

Was Robby even aware of what he was doing? You could practically feel him take a breath he was so fucking close. Fuck, you wanted to scream and you almost did when you felt his gloved hand move across your lower back as he stepped around you. The old desire to touch you every chance he could was a surprise to you both when the reflex made its appearance. It must have been a mistake - a subconscious tick because old habits can die hard. It was the only thing that made sense. You fought the urge to mouth a, ‘What the fuck?’ at him. Did he even realize what he’d done? If he did, he was damn good at hiding it. 

You needed to get your shit together. You brought him in here for your patient.

“Allan,” you began to introduce him and found you had to clear the warble from your voice. “Allan, this is Dr. Robby. He’s the attending doctor here in the emergency department. Robby, this is Allan and his mother, Rebecca.”

“Pleasure to meet you both. Now, Allan, why don’t you tell me what brings you in today?”

Once Robby agrees to your use of wire cutters to remove the key rings, conferring on medications during and after a take-home prescription, you immediately go to work. It took a few extra minutes of explaining to Allan (and his very traumatized mother) that you would be as gentle as possible, but the longer the key rings stayed on to cut off circulation, the higher the chance of necrosis would occur. You also promised him lidocaine to numb the area. Lots and lots of lidocaine. 

You’d just signed off on discharge paperwork and spoke with him one last time about maybe just buying what he wanted to try next time. It was not only the safer option but probably more fun and less mortifying than having his mom bring him here. 

You stepped out of the room and made your way up to Dana’s desk. While you’d been in the room doing minor surgery to metal keys, you’d heard a couple of new traumas that arrived through the ambulance bay. The one that unfortunately had stuck with you was the nineteen-year-old kid who’d been found unresponsive. Nineteen. Two years older than Jake. 

For years you tried to make sense of how it was possible to become so attached to a son that wasn’t even yours. You didn’t give birth to Jake and missed the beginning stages of his life. You met him at his ninth birthday party and thought he would automatically hate you. Instead, he asked you questions about superheroes and if you had a favorite wrestler. 

The relationship between Robby and Jake’s mom had been hard to navigate. Harder when you came into the picture because all mothers are understandably weary of unknown variables and people around their children. You did your best not to step on any toes and bided your time until Jake’s mom trusted you - felt comfortable enough - with your presence to allow Jake to stay over when he asked Robby. 

You went on field trips as a chaperone when Jake asked, helped him build science fair projects, and tried your best to play basketball with Jake and Robby. You were better at three-pointers and playing horse than the original two - on - two. Jake chose to see you as another parent. His mother decided to let you be a part of his life and knowing Robby, loving Robby, brought you all together. You were forever grateful to both of them for it. 

But seeing cases like this one - hearing about them - caused a cold sweat to spread across your body. Jake was a good kid - a smart kid but even smart kids could make mistakes. 

You pulled your phone out of your back pocket and continued moving towards where Dana sat front and center in all the chaos. She was currently on the phone but her eyes tracked you as you made your way towards her. 

Quickly, you unlocked your phone and went to your messages. You tapped on Jake’s name.

Mom v2.0 ~ Hey kiddo just checking in. Everything good?

You were about to lock the phone and put it away when his reply came back at lightning speed. 

JakeTheRipper ~ Hey! Ya everything’s 👍🏽 I’m coming by the hospital later to get tickets from dad. Be cool to see you.  JakeTheRipper ~ if you can! JakeTheRipper ~ if you have the time!

You and Jake never lost contact with one another after you and Robby split. It’d been his golden rule and who were you to break rules, especially golden ones? But you hadn’t seen him since he was fifteen. The last weekend you spent housed up in the house - his teenage self picking up a dark cloud stole the warmth from the home. 

He’d asked to see you a few times since then but you were always busy. Always unsure if you were overstepping. But you were here now and he said he was coming here anyways so -

“What’s got you smiling all goofy?”

Dana’s question sent you crash landing back into the present. You were standing directly in front of her seated position, phone in one hand and wire cutters in the other while a perfectly arched brow did most of her questioning.

“Ugh, it’s nothing,” you replied, tucking the phone back into your pocket. 

God, you were acting suspicious. Be natural. Be cool. 

“You got a boyfriend or something?”

“Oh, god no, no, no.”

You were throwing in way too many no’s. 

You felt like you were under a microscope when Dana’s eyes narrowed in on you like this. A cold sweat was going to happen any minute now. 

“There aren’t that many things that make women smile at their phones like that.”

“Memes make people smile at their phones because they’re witty and funny. A good deal on a pair of shoes, funny videos of animals, or cute babies…anyway,” you mumbled before handing the wire cutters over the top of her computer. “Ron the maintenance guy should be coming by to pick these back up. If I miss him, can you let him know I appreciate him letting me borrow these?”

“Did you tell him what they were gonna be used for?”

“Oh, god no, and please Dana don’t tell him I used it to cut key rings off a patient's penis.”

“You mean he didn’t know why you were asking for them?” She laughed. Dana fucking laughed and it eased the tension from your shoulders tenfold. “I think at least owe the man some kind of lunch, don’t you?”

“Ugh, well, I disinfected them. Twice? Does that count?”

Another bark of laughter came as she shook her head in disbelief. She was still smiling when she reached out and took the cutters from your hand. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be up in triage?” Langdon asked, sliding in on your right. 

“Did you come all the way over here from your spot in hell to ask me that, Langdon? Are we slacking off today or willfully choosing to be lazy?”

Langdon shot you a sarcastic smile before he reached over to grab a tablet and handed it over to the med student who’d been with him before. Her dirty blonde hair was slicked back into a tight ponytail and her glasses gave her an almost childlike demeanor that was only enhanced by the excited way she bounced on her heels. Her hand shot across the counter in way of introduction. 

“Melissa King - everyone calls me Mel.”

She was so eager - sweet - that you almost warned her to be cautious in the Pitt. It tends to eat the good ones alive. 

“Dr. Fullerton,” you replied, taking her hand briefly. “I remember you from earlier. Hopefully, Langdon is taking care of you and isn’t showing you what not to do during a residency?”

“Ha, that’s very funny, Fullerton. How long has it been since you’ve been down here? You’ve probably gone soft with all the babying they do upstairs.”

“Out of the two of us, Langdon who is still in their last year of residency and who is a board-certified doctor?”

“You know what I smell?” 

“I don’t smell anything,” Mel interjected, thin lines of confusion creasing around her eyes.

“No, I don’t mean - it’s metaphorical, Dr. King.” 

“Okay, kids that's enough. Robby sees you two both standing here bickering, you'll both be in trouble.”

“Is that your way of telling us to go back to taking care of the board?” You asked. 

“No, it’s my way of telling you both to get the hell away from my station. Now shoo both of you,” Dana retorted, using a stack of patient demographics to swat at Langdon and you. 

“I’m going, I’m going,” you surrendered, backing away. 

You were mid-turn when an enthusiastic wave from Dr. King was thrown your way. 

“It was nice to meet you. Again,” she excitedly called after you. 

She seemed too pure to have picked the Pitt. Everyone had their reasons for doing residencies here and, hell, you believed med students should be mandated to work at least one full rotation in an emergency department to truly learn. Mel, however, made you just want to protect her from the harsh realities of a place like this. It could be soul-crushing and there is no way to prepare yourself for when it happens.

“Likewise, Mel. If you ever want a break from ER Ken you’re more than welcome to come find me.”

“She’s good where she’s at, Fullerton.”

You didn’t bother giving a retort; you and Langdon could keep up the verbal back and forth the whole shift. You were only a couple feet away when you heard Dr. King state, “She seems nice.”

“Yeah. She’s alright. A little unhinged, but alright.”

Each word had been pulled like teeth from him; admitting you weren’t the absolute worst thing in the world, or at least inside this hospital, you knew made Langdon grumpy. Those few words left a sour taste in his mouth admitting anything nice about you, but it was enough for you because it meant one thing for you. There was hope that today wouldn’t be a total disaster after all. 

It was a busy morning but mornings were always busy in the Pitt. There shouldn’t have been a reason the hum of panic constantly buzzed behind his ears. It only grew louder the closer he got to the pediatrics wing of rooms. The bright colors blazed out into the hallway; all greens and blues. Animal motifs meant to instill comfort instead summoned what he’d struggled to keep buried. 

Dana already caught him helplessly trapped outside the room. The memory of that day - the last day with Adamson - flashed vividly like every nightmare he’d had of that day since. Robby had been so engrossed in the recollection of monitors blaring and Princess shouting for him to do something, “Robby we’re losing him,” that he wasn’t able to shake the feeling of dread off. 

He knew Dana noticed. The way her eyes craned over his shoulder to take in the peds room was the only confirmation he needed. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. When do I ever make you worry about me?”

“Are you kidding?” Dana chuckled. “All the time.”

They both knew he was lying. Robby never did confirm it when Dana asked, but he didn’t need to. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be fine or even close to simply being okay. Even after four long years, Robby found he still sought Adamson’s advice. Moments in the Pitt he swore he could hear him directing the room; asking questions to challenge Robby because “a doctor never stops learning.”

He missed being able to confide in him. The expectant look on Adamson’s face when Robby asked about situations in his life where he was at a loss of what to do. 

Robby needed to change the subject - and lead Dana down a safer path of questioning that he could handle. If he could keep himself away from that room he should be okay. He could handle you being here and everything else if he didn’t have to step foot in that room. He should’ve known there was no safe space where Dana wasn’t going to bring you up. Robby could see the hard exterior she tried to keep up to defend against your presence was beginning to crack. 

Maybe so was his. 

“The two of you looked cozy earlier.”

“Dana, you know I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”

“Uh-huh.”

Her voice oozed a playfulness that edged towards teasing. 

“But there is no universe where you and I talk about this.”

“I was just making an astute observation.”

“I would appreciate it if you maybe observe somewhere else. We have eleven more hours of this shift to go and I’d rather not have to spend it talking about her.”

“Yeah, because you’re allergic to talking in general.”

“Well, that’s just not true. I’m allergic to people I don’t want to have a conversation with,” he pointed out.

She tried to shake the smile off her lips. Her palm lightly smacked at his shoulder which caused his smile to rise in response. 

“You’re such a smart ass.”

“I try my very best,” he mumbled as he leaned down towards the computer. 

He’d just grabbed his badge to swipe past the electronic monitor to unlock the computer, placing his arms to brace on either side of the keyboard when he felt her presence eclipse to his right. Dana was leaning over the counter divider. Her arms hanging over waiting for him to look back up at her. 

“Something else I can help you with, Dana?”

“Just wondering if you’d be more talkative if you knew Fullerton was all smiles earlier. She had her phone out. Seemed to be textin’ someone.”

Robby could feel his eyes narrow in on her position. He shouldn’t care - he shouldn’t fucking care - because you were the one who left. What did he care if you were dating anybody? It’s been two years. The chances of you dating were astronomically high; shit, he’d attempted it a while after you left. Instead of taking care of himself because, “You look like shit,”, as Dana lovingly told him, he’d done what 95% of the population does: he ran from it. 

Heather Collins was an R2 at the time. She was funny, intelligent, witty, beautiful, and he’d fucked it up in record time. All the things you’d thrown at him about being shit at taking his own advice, hiding from his problems, were true. When things took a turn he’d lock up. Collins noticed the cracks and mentioned them enough he countered with argument after argument. The worst part was he was harboring a love for someone else that was gone. You can’t love someone else, give them the love they deserve, when you’re buried ten feet deep for someone else. She deserved better than to be a rebound - better than what Robby could’ve given her because no matter how amazing she was he still thought of you. Heather deserved more than to be a body to bury his sorrows in. He tried dating again a year later but that had also gone up in spectacular flames. Robby couldn’t keep the ghost of you from haunting him.

He tried to act like he didn’t care - that Dana’s words weren’t threatening his last proper brain cell for the day. By the look on Dana’s face, he did a shit job of hiding it. So what if you were with someone? He shouldn’t even care. 

“Did she say who she was talking to?”

Why the fuck did he ask that? Dana didn’t necessarily answer him as much as she chose instead to grin. A silent, ‘Gotcha’ flashing that he absolutely hated. He’d walked right into it. 

“Surprise, surprise. I thought she’d be one of your allergies.” 

A huff of laughter rushed past his lips that he tried to cover up with a cough. 

“You’ve got a mean streak in you.”

Dana patted his arm before she retracted back inside her bubble. The phone went off in record time to pull her safely away from having to hear him complain. She gave him one last thumbs up before her back faced him, completely ending the conversation and forcing him back to the open file on the screen. 

He enjoyed the quiet for all of a millisecond before he heard - 

“Hey, fruitcake.”

God, take him now. Robby chose to ignore her. Ignore her like every other time - 

“Hey, I’m talking to you, fruitcake.”

“Myrna,” he bit out. “I told you a hundred times my name is Dr. Robby.”

He expected her to argue about nicknames and their usage. It’s usually what happens when he advises her that maybe she’d get better treatment if she’d use real names. That isn’t what he got. 

“Do you wanna see my vagina?”

Robby’s eyebrows ran towards his hairline as he replied, “I've already seen it. And once was enough, thank you.” 

“And what about mine?”

Robby knew that voice. He’d know it in any lifetime, through space and time; Robby would know your fucking voice anywhere. He turned to his left and there you were with your elbows and back resting against the counter. You’d leaned close enough so that your words were for him and him alone. 

Robby wanted to humor himself that it had to be his imagination. The flash of something dark, ravenous, and achingly familiar he saw in your eyes must have been his subconscious going haywire. It wasn’t until he watched recognition dawn of what you said, the way you’d fucking said it, crest over your face that Robby knew he hadn’t made it up. 

The heat of embarrassment had you straightening up beside him. He could see it in the light tinging of your cheeks, the anxious beat your fingers rapped on the counter. You weren’t looking at him now but he wished you would. 

And then the memory of Dana saying you’d been caught smiling at your phone reared its evil head. 

Mine. 

He couldn’t keep the word from forming in his head. You’d been his for so long and those words of yours meant to tease and force him to give you a response. Robby wanted to tell you that no, once wasn’t enough. It was never enough. 

Mine. 

The last few months of your relationship had ended in flames but the rest. What about the rest of the many years you’d spent together? They’d been spectacular. The best memories he had you were a part of. The attempts at gardening and doctoring up sick animals. The way you’d dance to his records as you danced through every room while you dusted. The sounds of yours and Jake’s laughter mixing from the kitchen table going over homework. 

He could remember the way your hands fisted the sheets as his hands hooked under your thighs to bring you closer to his greedy mouth. Your slick drenching his face, his beard, stubble - whatever phase he was in with or without facial hair. Robby loved it when you began to let go; body melting in his hands as your fingers wound themselves tightly in his hair to pull him closer, deeper. Robby could get drunk off your taste, the soft keening breaths that came ragged and shaking from your chest. How your body trembled as he worked each finger inside you until your back arched beautifully off the bed. 

Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine….

He shouldn’t care. He shouldn’t fucking care, but he fucking did. 

“What can I do for you, Dr. Fullerton?”

Robby grabbed the PPE gown from beside the table before he went to his full height. From this advantage, he could faintly make out the dying hint of a flush on your cheeks. 

“I was talking here first, Sugar tits.”

You pivoted to glance around him and waved at Myrna who waved back with her middle finger. 

“Myrna, always a pleasure. I think that’s my third finger wave today,” you muttered the last part to him. 

“Dr. Fullerton.”

“Right, right. I wanted to see if I could borrow one of your med students. Central 3 and 4 have two patients, males twenty-three and twenty- four in age. Both were at the same BBQ and believed dumping liter fluid on a fire was a good idea.”

“Yikes.”

“Yeah, they look like human marshmallows right now. One has second-degree burns while central 4 has, what I believe, might be second degrading into three.”

“Do you need me to come take a look?”

It felt like a reasonable question. He was attending and usually, all consultations like this went through him for an opinion. He’d just done it with her half an hour ago. It shouldn’t be a big deal - 

“Oh, no, no. Thanks but I think I got this.”

“Oook. If you got it, why do you need a med student?”

“I figure it would be a good teaching moment for one of them on treatments of burns and how to assess the level. I’ve already called surgery for a consultation on central 4. Plus, there’s no available nurse to help me attend to both.”

Robby tried to keep the scoff from coming out. He shook his head and went to move around you, shooting Myrna an irritated glance that hopefully she caught as his nonverbal way of telling her he didn’t want to see her the rest of the day. 

“So, you are saying you need help, you just don’t want my help.”

God, he sounded like a petulant child. By the look on your face, you’d agree with that statement. 

“Robby, I know you’re busy - “

“I’m not busy,” he cut in. 

“Robby, the parents of the OD teen are here.”

Dana came from behind the station, her eyes glancing between the two of you. 

“Okay, park them in Trauma 1. He’s not back from CT yet. I’ll be there in a minute. You can borrow Whitaker,” he directed at you.  

He had to move. There was still the floating face patient in trauma 2. He needed to find out if they’d been able to prep for a safe intubation and if not, they were doing a solid alternative. Langdon was there with both interns. Robby could trust him. He should’ve been more worried about himself because as he passed by you on his way to trauma 2, he felt his body dip towards you. The jealousy rushed up like a lance piercing his heart as he remembered Dana’s words. The idea that you’d moved on, that someone else had taken his place, threatened to remove whatever sensible bit of himself he had left. 

“And don’t pull your phone out on the floor. It’s unprofessional, and I won’t have it in my department. You can step outside like everyone else.”

You didn’t look at him as he spoke. You didn’t even snap at him or give him any hint you’d heard him. Robby knew you’d heard him, but your eyes were solely focused behind him. It was the spot he’d just been standing - the spot Dana now occupied. 

There should’ve been some satisfaction in watching Dana’s face crumble like this. All the earlier anger dissipated back into a playful, if not biting, rhetoric that gave you some hope the day wouldn’t be your version of Dante’s Inferno. 

But Robby’s comment…

Only one person saw you on the phone earlier. One person who’d asked about who you’d been talking to while you’d read Jake’s texts. You’d been so ready to shout at Robby that it was Jake, his son. It might have given you some retribution but why should you have to explain anything to him? He was acting like a jealous significant other, not a damn boss. The way he’d pressed himself against you earlier; touching you as if half-possessed. 

You weren’t helping, were you? The minute the words had leapt from your mouth you’d wished you could take them back. You shouldn’t have said it and yet, you did. You fucking did and now the wanton look he’d given you was forever etched into your brain. 

You were an idiot. 

An even bigger idiot for thinking Dana would’ve left anything between you. 

“You just couldn’t help yourself. Could you?”

“Kid - “

Dana took a step forward ready to explain. You didn’t have it in you to listen. When the phone went off in her hand you found your way out and took it. 

“Do you know where I can find Whitaker?”

“He had a patient around the North-East hallway.”

“Thanks.”

You heard her call your name. Not Fullerton, not kid. Dana said your name and for the first time today, you wished she’d stuck to calling you an asshole. 

You followed Dana’s instructions and moved toward the hallways. You weren’t sure how long you’d be searching for him, but luckily it wasn’t long. On the opposite side of the hall, you watched him wheel a patient out of 17 North and into the halls. Whatever the patient said stopped Whitaker in his tracks - both grateful and surprised all at once. You waited a few minutes longer for him to enjoy a good moment with his patient (because sometimes it didn’t always go like that) before you made your way around to get to him. 

“Whitaker!”

“Uhm, oh yes. Hi, Dr. Fullerton.”

“I have a couple of burn patients in Central 3 and 4; second to third degree. Dr. Robby said you’d be able to assist if that’s alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. I would. That’d be awesome. Thank you.”

He was so earnest it was endearing. “You’re welcome. Now, let’s go remove some dead tissue.” 

You took the lead in showing Whitaker to the rooms. You were trying to make polite conversation. It only seemed fair to take a small interest in what motivated a young doctor to get into the field of medicine, of saving lives. Basic questions such as those were able to tell you a lot about who someone was and if they held enough compassion to be around people during their most vulnerable times. 

You did try your best to keep your attention trained on the work. It was your turn to be a teacher, and you wanted to do it well. You didn’t have an excuse why you looked toward Trauma 1. No excuse at all why you watched Robby speak to the kids' parents looking defeated before they’d even begun. There was even less of an excuse for when Robby looked away from them, his eyes searching until he found yours, that should’ve made you want to forget these last two years. You hated the old impulse to run to him - to care for him. The last time you’d seen Robby looking desperately close to combusting like this it’d been a few doors down standing outside pediatrics. 

Looking at him now, Robby seemed ready to quit, and it wasn’t even close to 8:30. 

______________

As always, thank you all so much for reading!! Comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

______________

Tag list: @whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustrange

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite Expressions in Love Sea Ep. 3

I wasn't gonna write about the expressions this week but then I got all my Fort-induced crazy out and had a meal and came to my senses, so I decided to write about them this week and every week.

Won't always be in depth like the last one but I do wanna point them out because as @prapaiwife said, Fort and Peat's acting deserves to be appreciated.

This scene is shadowy as all hell but there's just enough light to appreciate the faces that Mut is pulling in this scene. There's a mixture of annoyance and frustration here. He's narrowing his eyes, he's pursing his lips and setting his jaw a little bit. But it also looks like he's trying not to smile and there's a sparkle in his eyes that tells me he's enjoying seeing Tongrak get pissy.

That's the face of a brat tamer if I've ever seen one.

I also loved seeing how Tongrak got all smiley and fondly amused when Mut said he was beautifully handsome.

But then there's this smile after he tells Mut about his family. It's sad and resigned and doesn't reach his eyes. It's different from the last one, and Mut can see that, which is why he tells Tongrak not to smile like that. We're not done talking about this man and smiling but hold that thought, we'll come back to it here in a sec.

This look and the quickness with which Tongrak says no when Mut asks him if he wants to try love break my heart. There's more resignation there and something else, too. Certainty of heartbreak or maybe just plain old fear.

I, too, am struck dumb when I see Fort's smiling face Tongrak's just like me fr.

It's the shift from soft, open vulnerability to sheer annoyance for me. It's a face that says, "this infuriating man is so fucking annoying, I have to fucking kiss him about it fuck him" and I love it. This kiss also made me think of @chicademartinica and her love of tropical eroticism.

We can't see Mut's eyes here but that same sentiment applies to this face, too.

I love the look Tongrak gets when people say nice things about Mut. He may not realize it--or admit it if he did--but he's so fond of Mut already.

I have nothing insightful to say about these expressions, I just wanna make ya'll appreciate the mole Fort has on that giant fucking arm of his and how normal I've been about it this whole time.

Also more stretch marks. But we're getting off track.

Look at the face Mut makes when he realizes Tongrak's gonna be leaving in a couple of days. He looks crushed. You can tell that up until now, he hasn't really thought about Tongrak eventually going back home.

And Tongrak hasn't thought about it either. You can see him mentally going through his calendar. Neither of them have thought about it, but they both know exactly when he's going to leave and neither of them look happy about it.

Mut says "could you not leave?" without thinking and Tongrak is very obviously surprised but that's all it is. Surprise without anything negative attached to it. And maybe a teeny bit of hope?

He tries to play it off as a joke but Tongrak doesn't let him. He just says "try asking me". Something about his tone and the way he's looking at Mut and stroking his hair and his face really made me feel the difference in their ages. Tongrak looks and sounds so patient and gentle.

I love how often Tongrak's face answers before he does. He was always going to say yes but I like that he told Mut to try asking and teases him a little bit to get him there. Sometimes we have to be brave and find the words and ask for what we want so it'll be given to us. That's how good communication works.

I don't know about anyone else, but I could practically hear Tongrak thinking, "I'm sorry you had to grow up so fast and alone."

Seeing Mut be giddy and shy for the first time since we met him and seeing unabashed joy on Tongrak's face for the first time since we met him are two of my favorite things about this episode.

Making Mut ask Tongrak to stay wasn't about ego or being a brat, it was about a man who doesn't believe in love wanting to hear that his presence was wanted and a man who isn't used to receiving things without offering something in exchange being told that he doesn't have to change who he is in order to be given what he wants and that he's loved appreciated exactly the way he is.

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 1st June ✨

God, the audio drama was good this week!!

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (192) Oh nooo, Shank 🥺 You were a murderous pig man, but you were my murderous pig man! It’s so sad to see all the fracture lines between characters really come out in this season. Johanna and Russell could have been such a game-changing friendship if she’d stayed loyal! But then, we know how the Wicker kids were raised and Shank killed her brother so there is an inevitability to her actions. Cole is SUCH an interesting character and such a good (imo) portrayal of someone in the police force who really doesn’t believe he’s perpetuating harm. It’s nothing new for me to say that I adore the writing in this show, but you just KNOW that he was thinking ‘what would Clem do’ when calling the Fiddle off to go find Danielle. It’s like he’s justifying the ‘reasonable force’ to achieve his goals. He’ll get Shelby with his centipede thing, but he won’t kill her. It’s so messed up!

🧳 Travelling Light @monstrousproductions (47) I think we should all be writing pamphlets entitled: My Truth And What Ought Be Done About It. Oh, yeah, totally, Traveller. Not telling someone how you feel because ‘it’s in their best interests’ is soooo noble. [Fond] Idiots. The pair of them are idiots.

🍎 @notquitedeadpod (XLVIII) Oh my GOD. I listened to this ep twice in order to really process my feelings about it all but I still couldn’t! Damn. I keep reflecting on the fact that when Neige was introduced, I was here every Sunday talking about how much I didn’t trust him. HA. I mean, we know he’s still keeping things from Alfie but Casper you [insert expletive that is probably too strong for Audio Drama Sunday]!!!!! I honestly think I really bought that he was a good guy and it was the secretive nature of the vampirism issue that was drawing Alfie away from family and society but GOD, all the signs were there that he was, as Leon so beautifully put it ‘manipulative and hateful in that specific kinda woe is me way’. GOD. Someone please drop the ep number of the scene in the woods because I need to relisten!

We also know that Casper thought of the vampires as dead (makes it easier to do fucked up experiments on them, I guess!) but what did he think of the children they ‘treated’??? Did he justify turning Alfie in this way? There’s also all this stuff about the different types of vampire and it potentially being something that was curable. Lads, I heard there’s a haematologist on the run to Paris. . . in case that’s something you want to investigate?? I sure hope Hayley doesn’t get bitten and need curing . . . that would be sooooo not wild and fun to listen too . . . I would hate to have them racing against the clock to save new vampire Hayley . . . . It’s going to be soooo juicy if Alfie has to decide whether to be cured or not. We already know how much he misses his family.

ALSO there was one sneaky line about how Alfie’s recordings are mainly hours of silence and how he’ll have to edit it down. Are we - ?? Are we listening from the end? It’s scary to think that there is an end point that we’re listening from and all this is stuff that happened, not stuff that’s happening. It’s really shifted my perspective on the recordings! Knowing NQD, there’ll be a whole lot more angst before we get to the end!

Also, hard agree with Alfie about nurses being school bullies vs the nicest people you’ve ever met, though, of course, the really awful ones go and become prison officers 🙃

🎃 Waiting For October by @monkeymanproductions (8.5) No spoilers as I’m not sure if this will have been released by the time I post! Such a lovely monologue and I’m choosing to interpret our feline friend as THE feline friend! I’ve loved this first season and I hope that the team have a restful break before coming back for season two!

🧋 @hinaypod (TYM 2) Eek! Mary-Ann! That’s my girl! I do hope we do get to meet her properly in the main narrative soon 👀

🔮 @spiritboxradio (1.37-1.39) UHOH who gave the repressed teenager the power to summon a hot florist???? Surely this is a power that will never be - oh, too late. I’ve been trying to carve out time this week to give the season finale the listening respect it deserves. So excited to listen next week when I have more time!

💍 @forgedbondspod (19) Oh Hermesssss! I’m so glad he has Hephaestus now to talk some sense into him. Unrequited love is an awful feeling (even if it is requited and you just have your head in your arse!). Dion/Apollo fwb is so funny to me and tbh I would also shoot my brother with an arrow to avoid discussing his sex life. Valid.

🥊 @killjamxxx (03 -05) Who’s doing the music? Give them a raise!! What an absolutely stunning set of eps! Bellamy and Faustina are such a fantastic pairing (for the audience lol). Desperation meets talent! What could go wrong! I love how innocent Faustina is for someone who kills people for an entertainment! She has morals! She has rules! She’s been groomed!! Also OBSESSED with Shankhill being a Responsible Dad. I love this show 😭

Have a great week! 💙

[wayward-dreamer]

Pillow Talk

Pairing: Soldier Boy x F!Reader

Word count: 1,782

Summary: After a stressful meeting lead by Stan Edgar, Y/N looks forward to her other weekly meeting that is far more enjoyable.

Warnings: Swearing, implied smut: oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it up people), pillow talk turned dirty talk, vaginal fingering

A/N: I started writing this after that Gen V ep, but a lot of things got in the way of me finishing it. Happy reading, hope y'all like it! :) beta'd by my love @hintsofhoney

Y/N yawned, covering her mouth with her hand as she scribbled random drawings on the paper in front of her with a black pen. She was bored out of her mind as Mr. Edgar addressed everyone in the meeting, something about the latest demographic numbers for the supes and she was meant to be taking notes about it all, but she lost track. Whoever decided it was a good idea to have a meeting at the end of the day on a Friday was an idiot. Another few minutes of this and she could leave, once the clock ticked over to 5pm and the weekend was officially upon them. She kept glancing up at the time, her heeled foot shaking in anticipation for a regular meeting of her own that she was excited to get to.

Ever since Vought’s Christmas party a few months ago, when she caught the attention of Soldier Boy and they spent the night together, she’d leave the Friday meeting, pack up her things and get her night started with him. It was never anything serious between them, just some fun between them every week, and that was exactly what she needed.

A smile came to her face as she got lost in thought about everything he had in store for her, just as Mr. Edgar dismissed everyone for the weekend. She picked up her things and walked out behind all the male employees who she couldn’t stand. She was Mr. Edgar’s assistant but there were times that she was forced to do tasks some of the other suits wanted her to do, no matter how much she protested. They were all arrogant, entitled assholes who only wanted one thing when they looked at her, and even though Soldier Boy was no different because he also was a man of his time, at least he never pretended to be anything else around her.

Y/N walked back to her desk and put everything on top, ready to collect once she decided to leave, before she made her way down the hallway towards the loft apartments where the supes resided. She stopped in front of the door marked with “Soldier Boy” in gold letters, turning the knob and letting herself in, which was what she always did considering the door was unlocked after 5pm just for her. As she strolled into the apartment, she unbuttoned and took off her gray blazer, draping it over the back of one of the armchairs, smiling at the sound of a Sinatra song coming from the record player in the corner.

“Right on time,” she heard his deep, rough voice enter the room as he walked from his bedroom to the bar.

She turned around, a shiver running down her back as she took in his appearance. “I’m nothing if not punctual.”

Soldier Boy smirked as he poured a generous amount of whiskey into two tumblers, moving out from behind the bar as he sauntered over to her, his suit unzipped and revealing the white t-shirt he was wearing underneath. He swiped something off the surface before he stood in front of her, handing her a glass.

“After the day I’ve had, I really need this,” she said, turning the tumbler around in her hand. “Cheers.”

He clinked his glass against hers, a grin on his face as he watched her take a few sips. He held up the small, plastic bag with a handful of pills inside, waving it in front of her eyes which had her pause drinking, their gazes locked on each other.

“Anything else you really need?”

“Yes,” she breathed, her mouth opening slightly.

They kept their eyes on each other as he took out two of the small, round tablets from the bag. She stuck her tongue out a little, making him groan at the sight as he placed one of the pills on it, watching her swallow it down and taking a sip of her whiskey. He continued to stare at her as he tossed the tablet back with a swig of his drink, frowning as he saw her put her now empty glass down as she began to unbutton her blouse.

“You know that’s my job, doll,” he husked, his eyes darkened as he looked at her. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

He wasted no more time as he threw back the rest of the amber liquid, tossing the glass behind him and hearing it shatter, unbothered by the scattered pieces across the floor. He moved towards her, pulling her roughly into his arms as he pressed his lips to hers, the kiss as searing and erotic as all their previous encounters. He grasped her shirt in his hands, ripping it down the front, a squeal escaping her as the buttons flew everywhere. By now he usually had her on the bed, on her back with her legs thrown over his shoulders, but he had other plans for her as he pushed her down on the sofa. The fingers of one hand curled into the leather as the other moved between the soft locks of his hair, his head between her thighs and making her come undone in no time at all as she screamed his name and covered his mouth in her arousal.

Before she could fully comprehend what was happening, Soldier Boy gathered her in his strong arms and carried her over to the dining table, roughly dropping her down on the surface as their hands frantically pulled off the rest of each other’s clothes. With her back meeting the cold wood of the table and her legs wrapped around his waist, she moaned wantonly as he thrusted into her, moving faster and harder with every mutter of his name from her lips. It wasn’t long before she reached the peak for a second time, a giggle of disbelief leaving her as she came down from her high.

They made it to the bed eventually. With one last release from her triggering his, they came together as he grunted, a smirk pulling at his lips when he felt the way he spilled inside her walls. He rolled off her, her nimble fingers plucking the sheet up and pulling it over them, just as he reached for the cigarettes on his nightstand. He took one out of the pack and placed it between his lips, picking up his lighter and flicking it, bringing the small flame to the tip. He took a long drag before he blew it out, closing his eyes in satisfaction as he felt Y/N take the cigarette from between his fingers. As he opened them, he turned to look at her, watching the way she held it between her own fingers, the way her lips closed around the filter.

“Well, you really know how to take my mind off things, that’s for damn sure,” she stated, laughing softly as she placed the cigarette in the ashtray that sat on the nightstand.

“It’s a fucking gift,” he grinned. “Better take a breather, ‘cause I ain't done with you yet, sugar.”

She smiled, a small sigh escaping her as she thought back on the day. “It’s a good thing we keep this little rendezvous of ours on a Friday because those meetings are slow, agonizing torture.”

“I’m guessing it was a meeting with Stan?” he asked, leaning in and pressing a kiss to her neck.

“Yeah,” she replied, a small gasp falling from her lips as he continued to nip at her skin. “He just stresses me out about everything.”

She tried to resist him as he nuzzled at her neck, trying to move further down, but she eventually gave in with a low moan. Her eyes closed as her head fell back against the pillow, feeling his lips move down her collarbone and pull the sheet down, exposing her breasts to him. Her eyebrows furrowed as he nipped and sucked at her flesh, his tongue circling over her nipple.

“Handling the supes is getting to be too much as well, thanks to him,” she muttered, biting down on her lip as she tried to move away from him.

She could feel herself getting lost to his skillful tongue and fingers, but the second round he was trying to start needed to wait. She was only human, and didn’t have the same stamina he had as a supe.

He lifted his head, releasing the stiff bud with a wet pop, staring down at her. “Even me?”

“Especially you,” she countered, a mischievous smile pulling at her lips.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he began, his signature smirk on his face as his hand drifted down under the sheets, moving between her legs and feeling how wet she was again. Their eyes locked as he teased her folds with his fingers, causing her to gasp and a deep, rough chuckle to escape him as he didn’t take his gaze off her. “I think you’re pretty fucking capable of handling all of me.”

“Stop,” she giggled, trying and failing to push him away.

“You’re the one who can’t stay away, doll.”

“Maybe I should,” she challenged, lifting an eyebrow as she looked up at him.

Soldier Boy’s green eyes darkened with lust, and something else she had no desire to identify. A short gasp of pleasure escaped her as his thumb brushed over her clit, his intense stare never leaving her as the digit circled around the bundle of nerves. Her eyes fluttered closed as a long, drawn out moan left her mouth, his fingers sinking into her tight heat.

“See… if you did that, then you wouldn’t be right here, with my fingers fucking into your tight little pussy,” he grunted, his jaw tight as he looked down at her through hooded eyes.

Y/N didn’t recognize the sound she made as he started to thrust his fingers into her, maybe it was a moan, but it was a shrill cry, she wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she was giving into him once more. As she always did whenever she found herself back here, every single Friday.

“You always come back to a little… pillow talk, don’t ya, sugar?”

The words were just above a whisper, the rough timbre of his voice causing a shiver to run down her back as she wrapped her arm around his neck, holding onto him as she nodded, letting him pleasure her in every way he wanted. He knew she had only been teasing him when she said she’d stay away from him. They both knew her resolve wasn’t that strong.

She wasn’t going to give up this little ritual of theirs any time soon.

[twig-tea]

It is such a wild time to be watching QL, there is SO MUCH every day. And a lot of it is really good?!

Today I watched EIGHT different shows, and of them, I was really happy with the episode for all but one. Here are a few words about the ones I had a good time with today:

Addicted Heroin Thailand crossed the first hurdle of adaptation by including the kidnapping scene. Looks like they're continuing to stay true to the source. I appreciated that this scene in particular retained the emotional core while toning down the SA threat (though Hero's desire is still very much present). This is a solid adaptation so far!

Reverse 4 U is using the powers so well, and I am loving the sister relationship, especially how they tease one another around their powers. It's also building to the relationship turn between Four and Wa in a believable way, which I'm really enjoying.

Peaceful Property is delightful and as @lurkingshan already articulated so well, I love what is being set up re: inequality. Plus this show is just so funny! it's balancing these two threads really well and doing a good job maintaining the haunting-of-the-week energy so far.

Love is like a poison had an incredible first episode, I love the effects and cutaways in this show, and the way it is making fun of its protagonist is so much fun. Ryoma is a dork with main character syndrome and I am obsessed with him. Curious how they're going to turn around this setup into a romance!

I Saw You In My Dream was a baller episode, @my-rose-tinted-glasses wrote about how great it is to see a conversation like this between friends as well as between lovers; all of the conversations in this episode were good (between both couples, between the besties, and between the parents). I really appreciate how, as many folks have said, everyone in a relationship in this episode wants to have sex, and the barriers to having sex are real and discussed openly. Big fan of everything in this ep. We've really departed from the dreams, which I think we need to get back to, but this ep was worth the deviation.

The On1y One continues to be incredible; Thank you in particular to Faiza (@usertoxicyaoi) who has been giffing like mad to capture every important conversation in this episode which was so many of them. The one about moving to the dorms together made me misty fr. I love when youths who did not get a chance to have a childhood get to blow bubbles.

Unlock Your Love also started today, I really enjoyed the very pulpy and trope-filled previous show this team put together (Lucky My Love) so I've been excited for this. We have a workplace GL filled with canon bisexuals, a grumpy/sunshine dynamic with a history from college, and a playgirl. I'm so seated.

I don't usually do a roundup post like this but it just hit me how much good television I got to watch today, and how rare it is that I have this good a time with almost everything I'm watching, and I needed to capture the moment.

Tomorrow, all 6 episodes of A Time of Fever drop on iQIYI, as well as How to Make a Million Before Grandma Dies on Netflix, and that's in addition to the episodes of The Onl1y one, The Two of Us, Monster Next Door, Twilight Out of Focus, and probably Seoul Blues that will be dropping too.

I'm really having trouble keeping up with everything airing, everything I want to write about it, and everything being said about the shows on tumblr. It's the best possible problem to have!

[becauseimanicequeen]

The Timelines in 4 Minutes in Chronological-ish Order After 6 Episodes

Now that we have some more backstory after this week's episode, I will try to make an outline of the real past timeline in chronological order (I'm basing this off the 6th episode showing us the real past rather than Tyme's OOBE timeline). And then, at the end, I will make some notes about other timelines.

Before I start, I also make a note of my terminology:

4MP stands for "4-minute phenomenon", which is what Den calls it in his research. I use this for every moment that Great goes back in time to do things differently.

OOBE stands for "out-of-body-experience". I use it when I write about Great and Tyme's OOBE timelines.

GTs timelines stand for "Great and Tyme's timelines", which I use for those scenes where I think their timelines interweave and it's difficult to see where one ends and the other begins.

GKs timelines stand for "Great and Korn's timelines", which I use for those scenes where I think their timelines interweave.

(Explanations and sidenotes will be highlighted in purple.)

Now, let's get into it.

The Past-Past

These are events that took place before Great goes to school in the 1st episode. They may have happened several years in the past.

Since these events take place way before Great has his OOBE, I'm assuming (at least right now) that these events are real.

I made a note about Tyme and Great probably having met each other already in the past after watching the 6th episode (and then I found out in the tags and comments that there might be child actors playing Tyme and Great as kids), so we might get to see that this story starts a lot earlier than we've seen so far.

(Ep. 4:)

But, from what we've seen so far, I think the first point in the past-past is shown through Tonkla's memory as he's burying his cat. Korn is also there and tells him to save the red cat collar as a memento.

This is from his Uni days (I think), and that's most likely a couple of years before we see him introduced in the 1st episode.

(Ep. 4:)

We have another one of Tonkla's memories, this time of Korn and Tonkla having sex together for the first time. We also find out Tonkla and Dome are moving out of their family's home (and, most likely, into the house Korn paid for), and that Korn promised to go public with Tonkla when he's graduated and taken over his dad's company.

(Ep. 5:)

We have a flashback of Tyme reading his mom's diary, and then another flashback of Tyme treating Nan at the hospital.

Obviously, I'm unsure about when these two events actually happened since it could've been several years ago. But, I'm thinking this has something to do with what Natcha said when she broke up with Tyme, that he'd changed in the past two years. That's probably where he first read his mom's diary and then met Nan so he could plan a way to take down Chanin's company.

(Ep. 1:)

As Great wakes up from his nightmare of hitting Manee, we get a montage of Den talking to patients who've experienced cardiac arrests. It's the montage I'm referring to here.

The reason I think Den's research scenes are in the past-past is because I believe this is the research Den did before he told Tyme that the contents of his box were the information he'd kept from the patients who experienced cardiac arrest.

(Ep. 1:)

Lukwa tells Den about her experience during her cardiac arrest.

The Real Past

This is everything that happened between the past-past and up to the point where Great has a cardiac arrest and Tyme is shot (which may or may not happen at the same time, btw).

(Ep. 1:)

This section starts when Great goes to the garage and takes his white car (a Nissan?) to school.

(Ep. 1:)

At the same time, we have Korn walking into his dad's office. He gets a new position at the company. Then he passes Great's mom on his way out, and she enters the office to talk to Chanin about Great.

I think we can all agree that this scene happened in the real past. That means that every time we see the family photo standing on the left and the lion statue facing the windows (on Chanin's desk), it means this is the real past.

The reason I'm noting this is because I've seen inconsistencies in the placement of the family photo and the lion statue (which I believe is telling of whether the scene is from the real past or not).

(Ep. 1:)

Great gets a call from Title as he's driving to school. Title asks him about a calculator.

I am a little unsure about this one, but the clock on the car and Great's watch match up to 12:39 while he's alone in the car. And we all know that whenever Great is alone in his timeline, he sees 11:00 (11:01, 11:02, and 11:03) instead. His time anomaly hasn't started yet, which is why I'm leaning towards the real past for this one.

(Ep. 1 + 6:)

Great hits Manee and drives off.

(Ep. 6:)

Tyme is at the hospital, watching the news of the hit-and-run. Then Den shows up and tells Tyme about his research, but Natcha calls and interrupts them.

(Ep. 1:)

Korn arrives at the headquarters for the illegal gambling sites and gets an introduction by Samarn to how the place is run.

(Ep. 6:)

Natcha breaks up with Tyme.

The reason I put this scene after Korn's scene and not directly after Tyme and Den's scene is because it looks more like dusk when Natcha breaks up with Tyme while it looks like the middle of the day when Korn arrives at the gambling headquarters.

(Ep. 1:)

We're introduced to Tonkla, Korn arrives, they talk, they fuck, the end.

I've put the second part of this sequence (where Tonkla wants another round) in the section of the other timelines below, which I'm basing on some inconsistencies in the details in this first part compared to the second part. (Also, the second part includes Tonkla's dead cat, which might also indicate that the second part is in another timeline.)

(Ep. 6:)

Great's family dinner. Chanin is pissed at Great and storms out of the dining room.

(Ep. 1:)

Tyme comes home to his grandmother and they have dinner together while he tells her that he will soon make enough money so they can both have a better life.

(Ep. 2:)

Tyme overhears the nurses talk about him and Natcha breaking up.

This could just as well be in Tyme's OOBE timeline as here in the real past, but I'm putting it here because we actually saw Natcha break up with Tyme in the real past.

(Ep. 2:)

Dome witnesses Title and View fighting.

(Ep. 2:)

Dome tells Mod that he saw Title and View together the night before. Title disagrees, which leads to Title confronting Dome by the basketball court.

(Ep. 6:)

Great talks to Title on the phone asking him about Dome's video. Title says he's almost at Great's condo. The clock shows 10:43.

Btw, as you will notice in this post, one of the reasons I love this show so much is because there's so much attention to detail. Just look at this frame from this scene in 2nd episode:

Compared to this frame from the 6th episode:

The lights behind Great (excluding the lava lamp) are different because they're from different timelines. I love that attention to detail.

(Ep. 6:)

Title kills Dome and Great helps him throw Dome into the water.

(Ep. 6:)

Great is still awake at 04:50, thinking about how he killed Manee and then watching Title kill Dome.

(Ep. 6:)

Great goes to the hospital to pick up sleeping pills, stress relievers, and paracetamol. Tyme overhears Great saying his full name, which leads him to follow Great out of the hospital and film him as he drives away.

(Ep. 6:)

Tyme approaches Great at the bar.

(Ep. 6:)

Great and Tyme have sex and Tyme films it.

(Ep. 6:)

Tyme uploads the video of them having sex on the internet (onto a site called FourhubxXx, btw).

(Ep. 6:)

Chanin finds out about the video of Great and a man having sex and confronts Great about it.

I'm putting this scene here because of the natural flow of events from the previous scene. However, depending on the time of day, this could be after the following scene where the police find Dome's body by the lighthouse (ep. 2).

(Ep. 2:)

The police find a body by the lighthouse (which we know is Dome) and a rock with blood on it.

Btw, that rock... That rock is the only rock we've seen the police find, right? And, somehow, it ends up with Tonkla's prints on it. So, we either have a mix of timelines here. Or, Tonkla is being framed (which is possible since Win, who is investigating Dome's case, is being followed and because I still believe that Title is Police Colonel Warit's son, who will do whatever it takes to not have his son charged with murder).

(Ep. 2:)

Tonkla arrives at the forensic department to identify his brother's body.

Btw, there's something still bothering me about Tonkla saying "Why did it have to be you?" when he's crying by his brother's side. There are so many possibilities I can spin out on based on those words alone. But, for now, I'm just noting that here in the event that something will be revealed about this later on.

(Ep. 2:)

The illegal gambling sites are hacked.

(Ep. 2:)

Tonkla is sitting on the floor, crying, hugging a photo of his brother. He calls Korn, but Korn dismisses him (because he has to deal with the hacker attack). Tonkla has a breakdown.

(Ep. 2:)

Korn gets naked and kneels before Fasai.

(Ep. 2:)

Tonkla waits for Korn to call. Instead, Win shows up at his house.

(Ep. 6:)

Tyme sends his grandmother off to stay with Aunt Ging.

(Ep. 6:)

Tyme and Chanin have a chat, Chanin says Tyme's parents were the ones who started the illegal gambling sites, and then Chanin gives Tyme money to keep his mouth shut.

(Ep. 6:)

Tyme goes back to the empty house. The clock in the living room shows 9:30-ish.

(Ep. 3:)

Korn is in (what I assume to be) Fasai's bathroom, looking at the missed calls from Tonkla on his phone.

(Ep. 6:)

Great shows up at the hospital (for some reason he's picked up more meds) and asks Tyme out for dinner.

(Ep. 6:)

Great and Tyme have dinner. Afterwards, Tyme tells Great that it's best if they don't see each other again.

This is where that part with the dog is included, which had me thinking Tyme and Great had already met each other in the past.

(Ep. 3 + 6:)

Nan collects evidence, sends it to Tyme, and gets shot as she runs away.

(Ep. 3:)

Win gets taken off Dome's case.

(Ep. 3:)

Tonkla is pissed that Korn hasn't called and starts smoking. Then Win arrives to tell Tonkla he's been taken off Dome's case. They fuck. Then Tonkla asks Win if he can come by and keep him company from time to time.

(Ep. 3:)

Win approaches Mod at Uni to ask about the comment she made on Dome's social media, but she says she doesn't know anything. Then, when Win gets back to his car, there's a note saying "If you don't stop prying, I'll kill you" (which I'm pretty sure is written by Title because it sounds like him).

Btw, this is a different day since Win is wearing different clothes here than in his previous scene with Tonkla. Also, technically, Title is still alive here (if that note is from him).

(Ep. 6:)

Tyme sees Korn coming out of a building, wiping blood off his hands. Then he follows Korn by car.

The reason I've split this scene from the scene where Nan is shot is because Tyme is wearing different clothes than he did during the dinner with Great.

It's not clearly visible, but Tyme is wearing a long-sleeved shirt here, which is the same shirt he wears in the following scene...

(Ep. 3 + 6:)

Tyme attacks Korn at the bar, asking about Nan, and then has a fight with Great.

The same thing goes here as in the scene above because Great is also wearing different clothes than he did during his dinner with Tyme:

So, it's most likely a different night than the night when Nan was shot.

Also, as we all know, the difference in the fight between Great and Tyme here in the real past compared to the fight in the other timeline is that Great manages to remove Tyme's mask here rather than the other way around.

(Ep. 4 + 6:)

Great enters the hospital, asks Den where Tyme is, and then waits for Tyme outside the OR to confront him about attacking Korn. Tyme gets pissed and tells Great to get out of his face.

(Ep. 4:)

Tonkla cremates his brother. Win is there and notices he's being followed, probably because he's still looking into Dome's murder. He also mentioned the one who did it is probably an heir to a powerful family. Win offers to move in with Tonkla to keep him company and to protect him.

This scene is really interesting to me because Win said the murderer was probably an heir to a powerful family. He has also previously said that he found Mod's comment on Dome's social media, saying that they knew who really killed Dome. From there, it wouldn't have been very difficult for Tonkla to piece things together and suspect both Great and Title who were both in Dome's class as well as heirs to powerful families.

(Ep. 4:)

It's the next day, and Win moves in with Tonkla. They're about to fuck but Korn's arrival interrupts their fun. Korn is an ass, Tonkla throws him out, then Tonkla and Win fuck anyway.

(Ep. 4:)

Win is lying naked in bed while Tonkla is sitting in darkness, holding the red cat collar, and thinking about the past.

(Ep. 6:)

Great decides to investigate things on his own and spies on his brother as Korn talks to Samarn. Great follows the van Samarn drives to the warehouse.

The reason I put this scene after the sequence of scenes from Win moving into Tonkla's house to the aftermath of them having sex is because:

It's gotten dark outside when Tonkla is thinking back to his past with Korn

And Korn wears the same clothes in this scene as he did when he came by Tonkla's place earlier that day.

(Ep. 4 + 6:)

Great finds Nan and sees Samarn shoot her. He runs away.

(Ep. 6:)

Great is leaving when Tyme shows up. Tyme gets his ass kicked by Samarn and his men and is about to be shot when Great steps in to stop it.

(Ep. 6:)

Great drives away from the warehouse with Tyme in the car. Tyme gets out and they have their fight where Tyme calls Great a coward, and Great tells him to go die like the other one.

(Ep. 6:)

Police Colonel Warit is watching the news. Somehow, the news about Chanin's company being involved in illegal gambling has leaked (which 4NEWS is reporting about at 07:20 am).

(Ep. 5:)

Korn is at his dad's office, Korn lashes out at Great's mom, and Chanin slaps Korn. Korn storms out of the office.

Again, the details are telling me that this is the real past because of Chanin's desk:

The lion is facing the windows and the family portrait is on Chanin's left-hand side.

(Ep. 5:)

Korn goes to see Fasai because he needs help. She tells him that her dad (Police Colonel Warit) can help him, but he needs to marry her if he wants her help.

(Ep. 6:)

They're shredding evidence at the headquarters of the illegal gambling sites. Samarn asks Korn how much longer Police Colonel Warit (who they call a general in the subs, btw, but it said Pol.Col. Warit on MDL a couple of weeks ago when I needed to double check on another character's name, so I'm going with Police Colonel) could delay things for them, and Korn tells him to get everything done by that night. Samarn also tells Korn that Great helped the one who most likely exposed them (Tyme).

Korn clearly got the help he needed from Fasai since Warit used his power over the police force to get them to do what he wanted (delay the police raid).

(Ep. 6:)

Chanin and Great's mom (do we know her name, btw?) are talking when Great shows up. Great is pissed at them and then leaves.

Btw, the family photo is on the left side of the desk and the lion is facing the windows, which, again, highlights that this is the real past.

(Ep. 5 + 6:)

Great's mom follows him out of the building and tells him to apologize to his dad, but he doesn't want to and leaves.

(Ep. 6:)

Great steps into the elevator at his condo. Tonkla shows up and shoots him.

(Ep. 5:)

Den sees Great being rolled into the hospital.

(Ep. 5:)

Tyme is with his grandmother who asks when it will be safe to go back home. She also asks him what exactly it is he's doing. Den calls him before he answers her. Den tells him that the guy who came to find him at the hospital that day (probably the day after Tyme attacked Korn at the bar) is being rolled into the OR. Then Tyme leaves.

To be fair, Tyme doesn't have the bruises in this scene that he got from the fight with Samarn and his men. So, to be fair, this isn't entirely from the real past.

However, Den said "the guy who came to find you at the hospital that day" not "the guy who dropped you off at the hospital" or "your boyfriend" (which Den joked about in a separate timeline).

Also, as we see in the last scene of this episode, when Tyme is running and the lights go on and off... Every other time the light shines on him, the bruises appear. Pair that with the spinning camera, and I feel like his OOBE timeline (and perhaps Great's OOBE timeline as well) is interweaving with the real past in this final sequence of the 5th episode.

Is there a possibility Tyme wasn't with his grandmother in the real past when he got that call? Yes (I think we might get to see it again in the 7th episode). And, if that's the case, then I will move this scene to the section with the timelines below. But, for now, I'll keep it here.

This is where the real past is currently at an end after 6 episodes.

The Present/Future

This is from the point when Great and Tyme are having their near-death experiences (NDEs) and everything that happens after that.

At this point, there's not much to put in this category, and we might not even get any more than this. But, so far...

(Ep. 1:)

Tyme is shot in what looks like the abandoned site where the illegal gambling sites had their headquarters.

Great had a cardiac arrest at the hospital.

I still believe that the patient at the ICU is Great even though the bandages are on the same places where Tyme was injured.

Different Timelines

Now, let's look at some of the other scenes that I haven't placed in the categories above, and that's because I believe they're from different timelines.

Also, before I dive in... I believe that we've already seen parts of a possible Tyme OOBE timeline as well as Great's (in episodes 1-5). I also believe that Great and Tyme's timelines are already interweaving, which means that there are certain scenes that I think are from Tyme's timeline that include the changes Great has made in his OOBE timeline. In other words, Manee, Dome, and Nan exist in both timelines.

With that said, let's get into it.

(Ep. 1, Great's timeline:)

Great wakes up at 11:00 before Title calls to remind him about the exam.

(Ep. 1, Great's timeline:)

Great gets into the elevator and starts to feel iffy.

We now know this is a reaction of him unconsciously remembering that he was shot there in the real past.

(Ep. 1, Great's timeline:)

Great hits Manee, drives away, has his first 4MP, and sends for help when he hits Manee again.

(Ep. 1, Great's timeline:)

Then we see Den at the hospital chit-chatting with Nurse Bee in the ER before Manee comes in.

(Ep. 1, Tyme's timeline:)

Den gives Tyme the information about Manee before Tyme checks on her.

I feel like the Tyme we get in this scene is the Tyme we got to see in the real past as well, the one with the harsher bedside manners.

(Ep. 1, Tyme's timeline:)

Tyme performs surgery on (who I presume to be) Manee. Then dr. Khomsan asks Tyme about his plans after his surgical training.

This leads to a scene where Den asks Tyme how Manee's surgery went and then tells Tyme about the research he's doing with the patients who had cardiac arrests. Their conversation is interrupted by Tyme's girlfriend calling.

The interesting thing about this sequence of events is that we saw a similar sequence in the 6th episode which, again, I believe is the real past. If this is from Great's perspective, how would he know anything about how Den gets physically close to Tyme when talking about his research (which he does in both versions)? And how would he know anything about Tyme's girlfriend? How would his unconscious mind conjure up that information if they never discussed it?

So, I will mark this as being part of Tyme's timeline for now, because that makes more sense to me at this point.

I won't go too deep into my theory of why Great and Tyme's OOBE timelines are interweaving other than to say that I think they have some connection from the past that pulled them together as they get their cardiac arrests at the same time (which seems possible if we're to believe the timing in the opening of ep. 1).

(Ep. 1, a possible separate Tonkla timeline:)

The part where Tonkla wants another round with Korn.

So, we've already seen them fuck (which I put in the section of the real past above), but this second part of that same sequence (where Tonkla wants another round) has some inconsistencies in the details compared to the first part (where they fuck). This second part is also where Tonkla sees the cat (which is presumably his cat that died when he was still at Uni).

Considering he can see that cat, and knowing what we know about him sensing Dome coming home from the hospital in the 4th episode, I'm assuming someone went way back in time and prevented that cat from being killed in the first place (Tyme's OOBE timeline, which probably goes further back than Great's?).

(Ep. 1, Great's timeline:)

Then we have the family dinner, which in the 1st episode is very different from the one in the real past (ep. 6) because Manee is alive in Great's OOBE timeline.

(Ep. 1, Great's timeline:)

Korn drops Great off at his condo after the family dinner.

The reason I'm adding this scene here is because we see Great have his 11:00 time anomaly moment when he gets out of Korn's car. He also tells Korn about his 4MP. Also, Korn telling Great that he was sorry he hadn't had much time to spend with Great lately is clearly a deep-seated desire that's surfacing from Great's unconscious. This boy is clearly lonely as hell.

(Ep. 1, Great's timeline:)

Great wakes up from his nightmare of hitting Manee. The clock is 11:00.

(Ep. 1, Great's timeline:)

Great visits Manee at the hospital. She says her son is about the same age as Great. He leaves, and as he does, after bumping into Tyme, he experiences his second 4MP.

The part where Manee talks about her son is still confusing to me because I can't seem to figure out how or why Great's mind would paint this picture as he's dying. We may get an answer to this in the coming two episodes. But, anyway, I'm keeping this scene in Great's timeline for now.

(Ep. 1, Great's timeline:)

After Great's 4MP, he sees Tyme and has visions of them having sex. And then they bump into each other again.

We now know the visions were a part of Great's memories of the real past resurfacing here in his OOBE.

(Ep. 2, Tyme's timeline:)

Tyme talks to Manee as she refuses to sleep. She tells him about her son and how he committed suicide after losing everything. I'm also including the flashback Tyme had of him and Great bumping into each other here.

The reason I believe this is Tyme's OOBE timeline we're seeing is because:

There's a thunderstorm as he's talking to Manee, which I believe is his present self's reality bleeding into his OOBE.

Manee's story about her son is Tyme's personal experiences "filling in the blanks", both his experience of being poor and every piece of info he collected while investigating the illegal gambling sites.

If I'm correct with my theory that Tyme has his own OOBE and developed his own procognitive ability similar to Great's (which is a theory I've had since watching the 2nd episode), and if Tyme goes further back in time to correct his mistakes (which could be where we potentially get to see Tyme and Great as kids), and met Great before he ever hit Manee and influenced him to be a better person, there's a chance Great called the ambulance right away after hitting Manee in Tyme's OOBE timeline. That could've been how she ended up at the hospital and Tyme treating her here.

And, regarding Tyme's flashback of him and Great bumping into each other... These are one of quite a few complex moments where I think their perspectives and OOBEs are interweaving. Because we know that:

Great had visions of him and Tyme having sex (ep. 1), which we saw was from Great's perspective

But after they bumped into each other, Tyme's perspective entered as he asked the nurse about Great and then saw his name on the bouquet of flowers he left on the nurse's counter.

And, also, let's not forget that the things on the nurse's desk before Great's 4MP looked like this:

While it looked like this after the 4MP:

The time on the clock is the same, but the mirror is in a different position, 75 has turned to 74 (I'm not sure what these numbers mean), 77F has turned to 76F (which I'm guessing are Fahrenheit degrees), and the pink, blue, and yellow papers are lying on top of the folder the second time around.

If Great was sent back in time to the exact moment he was in before he went to Manee's room (or in the same timeline), the things on the desk would've been in the same place, right? So, he might not have been sent back in only his own timeline, but also in Tyme's timeline.

(Ep. 2, Great's timeline:)

Great is at school, Googling his precognitive ability and talking to Tyme about the accident and an exam.

(Ep. 2, Great's timeline:)

Great is having memory flashes of his first two 4MPs and his visions of having sex with Tyme. Then he sees the messages in the class group chat, including the video Dome filmed of Title and View. The clock is 11:00 here.

(Ep. 2, Great's timeline:)

Great's conversation with Title in Title's car.

The reason I've put this scene here is because of Title's bruise. He has a bruise on his left cheekbone in this scene:

Which he doesn't have in the real past when he kills Dome (ep. 6):

I have no idea why Great's unconscious is conjuring up this scene, btw. Not yet anyway.

(Ep. 2, Great's timeline:)

Then we have the lighthouse scene where Title (who still has the bruise on his cheek) kills Dome, Great has his third 4MP (Title still has the bruise after the 4MP), and drives off with Dome in the trunk.

(Ep. 2, Tyme's timeline?:)

Tyme is boxing and then he has a short conversation with a cleaner as he leaves the gym.

I have no idea if this is the real past or Tyme's OOBE timeline. And does this particular scene even matter other than telling us that he knows how to fight and that he works a lot? I don't know.

(Ep. 2, Great's timeline:)

Great and Dome arrive at the ER. Tyme notices Great and then treats his wound. Great then asks Tyme if he's ever met a patient who can see the future.

This scene parallels the scene in the real past where Great picks up his meds at the hospital and Tyme overhears Great's full name.

(Ep. 2, Great's timeline:)

Great is at Uni, looking at the messages he's sent to Title. Then Mod arrives and thanks him for helping View.

(Ep. 2, Great's timeline:)

Title shows up when Great parks his car. They fight. Tyme shows up and helps Great.

Title has that bruise on his left cheek that I wrote about above, which is why I've added this scene here. What's interesting, though, is that he doesn't have one single mark on the right side of his head where Great hit him with the rock after his 4MP.

I don't know what to make of this. (And I'm too tired after painting for 9 hours today to figure out what it might mean, lol.)

(Ep. 2, Great's timeline:)

Great and Tyme have their chat on the skateboard ramp. They exchange Line IDs.

(Ep. 2, Great's timeline:)

Great's clock turns from 11:00 to 11:01.

(Ep. 2, Korn's timeline?:)

Korn has a meeting with Police Colonel Warit and Fasai.

I think this might be Korn's timeline? Because I'm not sure if Great knows anything about Korn's relationship to Fasai and her dad.

Either way, the differences in the decorations on that counter behind Warit in ep. 2:

Vs ep. 6:

Has me thinking that the first time we see Warit and Fasai, it's not in the real past.

(Ep. 2, Tyme's timeline:)

Nan meets Tyme under a bridge and gives him a USB.

I have a theory that whenever Tyme is backlit the way he is under that bridge:

And at the end of the 5th episode:

There's also a scene in the teaser that includes Tyme seeing light through a doorway (which is a scene we haven't seen yet). And my theory is that this serves the same function as the clocks did in counting down the time for Great.

Also, when it comes to the actual scene under the bridge, I'm assuming the USB includes information they got while hacking the illegal gambling sites. But, it could include something entirely different as well and fall into another place in the chronology of the story. But, I'm putting it here for now.

(Ep. 3, Great's timeline:)

Dome wakes up at the hospital and Tyme says Great asked him to check in on Dome.

(Ep. 3, Tyme's timeline:)

Den is upset with Tyme for intubating the lady in bed number 4.

The reason I think this is Tyme's timeline is because Den is, once again, reminding Tyme that his patients have names (which he did after Tyme performed surgery on Manee as well). I think this might be Tyme's guilty conscious over not caring that much about other people that surfaces in his OOBE as he lies dying.

(Ep. 3, Great's timeline:)

Great sees 11:01 and calls Korn to ask what time it is. It changes to 09:31 before it changes back to 11:01 when Great hangs up.

(Ep. 3, Great's timeline:)

Great is at school where the clock on the wall works fine when everyone is around, but turns to 11:01 when he's alone.

(Ep. 3, Great's timeline:)

Mod gives Great the Thai Tea that's from Tyme and Great gets a flash of a different message on the tea.

This scene is interesting because the handwriting on the two messages is different (and I believe they're written by different people):

Also, the way Great gets that flash of the second message (which says "Can you forgive me Great?") is similar to the way he got the visions of him and Tyme having sex in the 1st episode. And since we know those visions were his present self's memories of the real past mixing in with his 4MP timeline, I'm pretty sure that the second message is another one of Great's present self's memories. This means he got this message in the real past too or, alternatively, it will show up in his past when Tyme has his OOBE timeline (which I still think will start further back in time).

Now, who that message is from, though, and in what chronological order it comes into play is up for speculation. I'm putting it here for now, though.

(Ep. 3, GTs timelines:)

Great and Tyme are having a conversation at the bleachers, Great has his fourth 4MP, Great tells Tyme about his precognitive ability, Tyme says he'll ask a friend about it, and they decide to have dinner before Tyme leaves.

This was the scene that first sold me on the idea that we saw different timelines weave together in the same scene before we ever saw Tonkla noticing Dome at the end of the 4th episode.

I've written about it before. But, to summarize: The people on the bleachers change throughout the scene. And not just before vs after Great's 4MP.

They're pretty dramatic changes during the span of their short conversation. At the same time, the bags (except for one of them) and bottles are the only things that stay consistent throughout the whole scene.

Also, this scene is paralleled to the scene from the real past where Great shows up at the hospital and asks Tyme out for dinner.

(Ep. 3, Tyme's timeline:)

Tyme asks Den if he knows any patient with precognitive abilities. Den offers to set up a meeting between Great and Lukwa.

(Ep. 3, Great's timeline:)

The gallery scene with Great and Lukwa.

(Ep. 3, Great's timeline:)

The claw machine date with Great and Tyme.

(Ep. 3, GTs timelines:)

Great drives Tyme home after their date, and they almost kiss.

I think this is a mix of both of their timelines because we get to see Great's visions of the two of them having sex again (his timeline) weaving together with Tyme's grandmother, whom Great never met in the real past (not from what we saw, anyway), coming out of the house (Tyme's timeline).

(Ep. 3, Korn's timeline?:)

Samarn and his men put Nan in a van and Korn says he sent Samarn the location of where to take her.

I think this might be Korn's timeline because he's wearing the same clothes in this scene as he did in the scene in the 6th episode where he came out of the same building and wiped his bloody hands. I don't think Great would've known what clothes Korn wore that day.

(Ep. 3, Great's timeline:)

Great sees the clock on his wall turn from 11:01 to 11:02 and then he writes down the clues around his time anomalies and 4MPs.

(Ep. 3, Great's timeline:)

Korn is at the bar, waiting for Great, and Samarn calls him about Nan. Then Great arrives and Korn suggests that Great should go see a doctor Korn knows.

Considering what they're talking about (Great's precognitive ability), Great's timeline has to be present.

(Ep. 3, Great's timeline:)

Great and Tyme struggle outside the bar after Tyme attacked Korn. In this version, Tyme pulls the mask off to reveal himself to Great.

I'm conflicted about this scene and about whether to put it in Great or Tyme's timeline because it can be either (perhaps both?). The only thing that would change would be the context of the scene, whether Tyme wanted to reveal himself to Great to stop the fight (and potentially get Great to help him) or if it's just Great's unconscious painting the picture of Tyme trusting him enough to reveal himself in that moment. Decisions, decisions... I'm putting it in Great's timeline for now.

(Ep. 4, Great's timeline:)

Korn comes out of the bar. Korn is bleeding a lot so Great tells him they should go to the hospital.

(Ep. 4, Great's timeline:)

Great shows up at the hospital, looking for Tyme. Den tells him Tyme is in the OR. Great waits outside until Tyme comes out.

(Ep. 4, GTs timelines:)

They have their conversation outside the hospital where Tyme tells Great that his parents screw people over, and then he tells Great to get the fuck out of his face.

I think Tyme and Great's timelines interweave in this scene because Tyme says Great's parents caused his parents to die. I can't remember Great finding that out in the real past (at least not that they were killed), so there's no way he would've come up with that info on his own, right? Unless there's a part from the past-past that we haven't gotten yet that might explain this.

(Ep. 4, Great's timeline:)

Great has his fifth 4MP and decides to help Tyme find Nan.

(Ep. 4, whose timeline?:)

Lukwa talks with Den again and tells him about the red gallery where she met another person (Great). Den says he's found out about another patient like her and would like to set up a meeting.

This is where things get a bit wonky again and I have no idea whose timeline this is. Perhaps Den has his own timeline? Or, it might be Tyme's timeline since he was the one who told Den about Great (whom I assume is the other patient Den talks about here). Or Great's timeline? I have no idea. Yet. But, I'm putting the scene here for the moment.

(Ep. 4, Korn's timeline?:)

Korn stops Samarn from hitting Nan. He then tries to persuade her to talk, which she doesn't.

The reason I believe this is Korn's timeline rather than the real past is because he still has that "good but conflicted guy" way of being that we've seen in Great's timeline as well.

Also, this doesn't fit into the chronology of the real past if this scene is supposed to be after Tonkla and Win fuck in the 4th episode at the same time as Korn wears these very same clothes in the 6th episode where he gives instructions to Samarn who later kills Nan that same night. So, I feel like this scene is in another timeline rather than in the real past.

(Ep. 4, GKs timelines:)

The scene starts with Korn thinking about his fight with Tonkla and drinking alone. Then Great arrives, gets Korn drunk, and snoops through Korn's phone.

I think this scene has two timelines interweaving. The part from when Great arrives, Great's timeline takes over, because I'm pretty sure he didn't get Korn plastered in the real past considering the scene where he sees Korn talking to Samarn before he finds out where Nan is (ep. 6). Korn didn't look drunk at all when he met up with Samarn. Korn's phone also shows 11:02 when Great snoops through it, which is another indicator that what we're seeing is Great's OOBE timeline.

The moment before Great comes into the bar in this scene, however, is either Korn's separate timeline or the real past. It's possible that he drank away some of his sorrow/anger after his fight with Tonkla before Great came and without getting plastered.

Another reason I don't think this scene is completely just from Great's timeline is because of the lamp behind them. It's yellow in this episode:

While it was blue-greenish in the 3rd episode, which was from Great's timeline:

The inconsistency in lamp color could be unintentional, of course, but I don't think it is. Especially not since what we see from the bar in the 6th episode when Tyme hits on Great, it has yellow lights everywhere. So, I think this scene here (with the yellow light) is anchored more in Korn's timeline/the real past rather than in Great's timeline.

(Ep. 4, Tyme's timeline:)

Tyme gets out of surgery and gets Great's message that he's found Nan's location. Tyme tries to call Great but doesn't get an answer.

(Ep. 4, Great's timeline:)

Great finds Nan, sees Samarn shoot her, runs away, has his sixth 4MP, helps Nan, and Samarn calls Korn but gets no response.

Great and Nan get caught up by Samarn and his men, and then Tyme shows up to save the day.

They drop Nan off at the hospital.

(Ep. 4, GTs timelines:)

They stop by on a bridge as they're driving away from the city.

The reason I want to highlight this scene and the reason I think their timelines are interweaving here is because of the thunder, which I've previously written about. I think the thunder is Tyme's present self's surroundings bleeding through (the thunderstorm he's in the middle of when he was shot in the 1st episode). For that reason, this could also be only his timeline, but I chose to include Great's timeline because he tells Tyme about his 4MP when he saw Nan get shot.

(Ep. 4, Great's timeline:)

Great and Tyme arrive at a glamping site and they have sex.

(Ep. 4, whose timeline?:)

Dome leaves the hospital and calls his brother when he's in a taxi on his way home.

I have no idea whose timeline this is from. Perhaps Dome has gotten his own timeline now? But one thing's for sure, it's not the real past, so I'm keeping it here.

(Ep. 4, a possible separate Tonkla timeline:)

Tonkla hears Dome come home even though Dome is dead.

(Ep. 5, GTs timelines:)

The whole sequence at the glamping site.

Perhaps this is more from Tyme's timeline since he's sharing a lot from his own background as well as Nan's. I mean, there's no way Great knows about Tyme's mother's diary and can conjure up that story on his own:

And we know that the red journal is real because we've seen it in the real past (ep 6):

(Ep. 5, Great's timeline:)

Korn finds out from Samarn that Great was behind something.

Samarn never mentions if what Great did was help Tyme or Nan, which stands in contrast to the real past where Samarn tells Korn that Great helped the person Nan sent the info to. Also, this conversation takes place in a different room than the conversation in the 6th episode, so I'm thinking this is from Great's timeline.

(Ep. 5, Great's timeline:)

Samarn runs straight to Chanin and tells him about the situation.

We already know this isn't part of the real past. But I do want to highlight the changes in the details on Chanin's desk again:

The lion is facing the wall behind the desk rather than the windows, and the family portrait is standing on Chanin's right-hand side rather than the left. It's the opposite in the scenes from the real past.

(Ep. 5, Great's timeline:)

Great drops Tyme off at the hospital.

(Ep. 5, Tyme's timeline:)

Tyme runs into Den on his way into the hospital. At the same time, he's being followed.

Just noting here that this could be from Great's timeline as well.

(Ep. 5, Great's timeline:)

Korn wants to talk to Great to find out who the guy was from last night. Korn is lowkey threatening Great and Great says "You wouldn't hurt me, would you?", but Korn doesn't answer.

I feel like this is Great's unconscious wondering if Korn was the one who got him shot or not.

(Ep. 5, Great's timeline:)

He notices the clock on his wall has turned to 11:03.

(Ep. 5, Tyme's timeline:)

Chanin is at Tyme's grandmother's house and gives Tyme money to keep his mouth shut and stay away from Great and his company.

This could be Great's timeline as well since he did find out his dad had bribed Tyme. Also, this could be Great's unconscious mind making up another version of why he and Tyme parted ways, rather than Tyme not wanting to see him anymore. But, I'm keeping this in Tyme's timeline for now.

(Ep. 5, Great's timeline:)

Tyme tells Nan to delete all the evidence she'd collected. She gets pissed and leaks the information anyway.

(Ep. 5, Great's timeline:)

Then we see the news about the leak on 4NEWS at 11:03 am.

Manee sees the news.

We get into more complex territory here again. The news channel is clearly showing 11:03, which indicates Great's timeline. Manee is alive here, which, again, indicates Great's timeline. Manee acting out her revenge, though... I have no fucking clue... Yet.

(Ep. 5, Great's timeline:)

Great goes to find Tyme at the hospital, but he doesn't answer his phone. Then he drives to Tyme's home where he sees the sign saying "House for rent".

I'm still not sure how Great knows that Tyme lives there. The only time we've seen him there was in another timeline and not the real past. Yet, we've seen in the real past that Tyme actually lived there with his grandmother. So, this might be from someone else's timeline, or Great has known Tyme from before (but forgotten it) and this is his unconscious pushing these memories to the surface.

(Ep. 5, whose timeline?:)

Manee is at a temple, hiring a hitman.

(Ep. 5, Great's timeline:)

Great storms into his dad's office and asks about Tyme. A fight breaks out, and Great storms out of the office.

(Ep. 5, Great's timeline:)

Great's mom follows him and tells him to go back and apologize to his dad, which he refuses to do. As he's about to drive away, he notices the hitman Manee hired. He gets visions of his mom being shot, then he's sent back in time and takes a bullet for his mom. But she's shot anyway.

Then we get a montage of the red gallery where Lukwa is, Den talking about his research, flashes from Great's OOBE timeline, the visions of him and Tyme having sex in the real past, his panic attack in the elevator where we now know he was shot in the real past, and flashes of a bunch of circles (including clocks) and things that spin.

Then he passes out.

This is where Great's OOBE timeline ends (at least right now).

Cold Opens:

I haven't yet decided where to put these cold opens in the chronology of the story, but I do feel like it's easy for us to see the chronology if we just look at them alone.

(Ep. 5, cold open:)

Title is drugged while partying, and Tonkla arrives.

This has to happen after Title kills Dome and after the police find the first body by the lighthouse, but before the cold open of the 2nd episode where Tonkla beats someone and before the cold open of the 3rd episode where the police find the second body by the lighthouse (probably Title).

(Ep. 2, cold open:)

Tonkla is by the lighthouse and beats the shit out of someone (probably Title).

This comes after the cold open of the 5th episode where Title gets drugged, but is most likely from the same night, and before the cold open of the 3rd episode where the police find the second body by the lighthouse (probably Title).

(Ep. 3, cold open:)

The police find another body by the lighthouse. This one also has an open wound on the head. Probably targeted for revenge (I'm assuming it's Title).

If this is Title, then this scene comes after the cold opens of the 5th and 2nd episodes.

(Ep. 4, cold open:)

Win is told that Tonkla's prints are on the rock used to kill one of the bodies they found.

The only rock we've seen them find was the one in the 2nd episode when they found the first body (which is Dome). Could it be that Tonkla is being framed?

(Ep. 6, cold open:)

The police arrive at Tonkla's house to arrest him.

This happens after the cold open in the 4th episode where Win finds out the prints on the rock belongs to Tonkla.

(Ep. 1, cold open:)

Great is flatlining in the ICU and Tyme is shot at the abandoned site.

This took me days to write as I'm in a very busy painting period right now, so I'm sure there are some inconsistencies in the timelines and chronology of the scenes. But, I am planning on adding the scenes from the coming 2 episodes as they are released (and revising my current order if needed).

Until next time, I'm out...

[xf-cases-solved]

S2E10: Red Museum

Case: Bro, don't make me try to summarize "Red Museum," so many things happen and every single one of them is baffling.

You know what? This entire episode feels like an SNL Stefon sketch, so I'm going to write it as one.

If you're looking for a monster-of-the-week X-Files tale centering around obscure religions, look no further. Fox network's hottest new episode is "Red Museum." This episode has everything. A cult of creepy vegetarians who all wear red turbans and whose sermons are all written on the fly by a dude who has a really impressive WPM. Children wandering around the woods in their underwear with "HE/SHE IS ONE" written on their backs with black Sharpie. Walk-ins.

Oh, what's a walk-in? It's that thing where a body's original soul is replaced by a new, different soul for some reason.

But that's okay if that's not for you. If what you're looking for is a story about a deep-seated conspiracy of unethical medical experiments, look no further. Fox network's hottest new episode is still "Red Museum." This episode has everything. An awkward road trip with an old man out into the countryside where he tells you his life story, unprompted. A random plane crash implicating the local doctor. Bovine somatotropin.

Oh, what's bovine somatotropin? It's that thing where you genetically engineer a growth hormone and give it to cows to make them produce more milk.

Still not what you're looking for? That's no problem. For those of you itching for some more myth arc plot, look no further. Fox network's hottest new episode continues to be fucking "Red Museum." This episode has everything. A middle-aged white man you're somehow supposed to distinguish from the millions of other middle-aged white men and remember that he's the guy that killed Deep Throat. A complete lack of usable evidence. Purity Control derivatives.

Oh, what's Purity Control? It's that thing from "The Erlenmeyer Flask" where you mix human DNA with alien DNA to conduct a series of experiments on the unsuspecting human population. 

Also, there's a perv creeping on kids through peepholes.

Anyway. This episode... goes some places. 

Moving on.

Does someone die in the cold open: My notes say, "no death in CO, but that kid is fucked up," which I feel is a good summary.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: YES!! Our boy and his projector have finally been reunited at last! He hasn't done a slideshow since "Tooms," which actually makes it all make sense now, bc that was the one he did in court that made me (and Scully) want to die from secondhand embarrassment. Maybe Scully had been keeping the projector locked away until he proved he could be trusted with it. She had the key to the storage closet in her pocket when she was abducted.

Does the evidence survive the investigation: Yeah, nah.

Whodunit: Bro, I don't fucking know. All of them. They all did it. Every single person is complicit. You're complicit. I'm complicit. Just blow the planet up and start over.

Convictions: 🙄😒

Did they solve it: Last line of the episode is "this case remains open and unsolved," soooooo. I'm not even giving them a "no, but" bc they didn't even manage to keep Deep Throat's killer alive long enough to get any useful information out of him. Maybe they shouldn't have given you guys the X-Files back, actually...

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

This episode is sponsored by: Part one of this five part SNL Stefon YouTube compilation for those of you who had no idea wtf I was referencing up there

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 15 (they haven't solved anything since fucking "blood," and technically they weren't even on the x-files then. they haven't solved a genuine x-file since "roland," and i only gave them that one out of pity. time to just keep the x-files closed and assign them to the department that tracks down people who pirate movies. mulder & scully and the search for the Truth 20-something college kid making copies of jurassic park to give to his cousin in exchange for weed)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me": 9

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 6

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 14 (i think they technically both could have gotten blown up, right?) 

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 14 (i expected these two stats specifically to be more disproportionate, but so far they're pretty even huh)

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 19 (bbq napkin scene. she wants to devour those ribs and then devour him)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 5

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2 

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 21

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Times Someone Correctly Guesses a Password: 3 

Total Number of (Plot Relevant) Nosebleeds: 5

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 4 (it was just gas, but it was on the floor of a slaughterhouse, directly underneath a hanging hunk of beef, and there was a very obvious red can labeled "gasoline" sitting three feet away on the floor, so i feel like he could have made that inference without sticking his hand in it)

Total Number of Times People Fight in a Parking Garage: 1 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 3 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 4 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 2 

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 16 

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 3

Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 3

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 3 (no more krycek for right now 😔. mulder's projector has returned, but still we lie in wait for rat boy's resurgence)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 13½ (not only did i not know, but i wrote this up over the course of two days, and had already forgotten by the time i got to this stat even tho i looked it up yesterday)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 7 (i am still not convinced i followed the whole thing. i don't think it's possible)

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

It was a documentary, not a series, that's why we were not satisfied because we wanted fiction, not a docuseries.

This only solidifies my POV, which I have already gone over on the Under The Table Podcast and in many previous entries on my blog, about the whole problem with S3 being in the WR. Coming from a very solid S2 and amazing S1 award season, only made matters worse, of course.

Viewers appreciate realism, as a matter of fact the kind of audience The Bear appeals to is the kinda public that digs realism and adult content, with lots of cussing, raw directorial style, fast-paced, etc. We are not the typical rom-com or even drama series audience. The Bear became a hit show back in 2022 because its eps were fast-paced, with a dramedy quality that made it original, lots of adult language, and with a hint of sexual tension that was "promising" if explored in future seasons, that at that point were not confirmed yet. S2 was ordered in July 2022 in the middle of the momentum the show was starting to get, and shot from February to April 2023, then it premiered in June 2023, only to compete now, in this award season that opened a few weeks ago at the 76th Primetime Emmy Awards.

Meaning: the reason why S3 didn't work as expected, and the numbers back that up that is why they haven't released them yet, is because the writers were not able to write a BALANCED plot. Yes, it hit all the realistic marks in terms of mental health struggles and fine dining 7th circle of hell, but at the same time, it lost every other "ingredient" that it used to have. THERE IS A WAY to write the best of both worlds, and I certainly expected that coming from who I considered the best script writer out there, the sadist. And his right hand wired for romance, Miss Calo. They didn't do it. They disappointed me. They went all in with the docuseries' raw realism style of Carmy hitting rock bottom, which if you were really paying attention in S2 was nothing but PREDICTABLE → as I proved even before S3 premiered here and here but they didn't build towards a cliffhanger that left you wanting more, actually, 03X10 is altogether hard to watch, there's no balance like in FISHES 02x06, for instance, just one punch after the other, all below the belt, no comedy, no breather, just tragedy and more tragedy and more sense of doom and more PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! THAT'S IT, END THIS, PULL THE PLUG, STOP IT! etc... Like I said: No balance.

Storer only focused on Carmy's background story, but didn't give us anything we couldn't have figured out on our own anyway, he didn't explore Syd's background story, which should be a collection of gems and absolutely Sydcarmy friendly because the more we know about her, the better we will be able to figure out how will Sydcarmy happen and when (I already know when, but still) and he also focused on Tina's background story, IMO that was completely unnecessary as T is not a central character, what he showed there was also easy to guess anyway and could have been summarised in a couple of scenes, not an entire bottled episode, not when other characters are UNEXPLORED after 3 seasons. So basically, all the decisions made in terms of SCRIPT were WRONG. The acting was perfect, the direction was too, the soundtrack, the cinematography, all of it, but the foundation wasn't there because in the WR the creative decisions made for S3 were completely fucked up, we were served a docuseries as opposed to the fictional show with a realism bouquet we were watching the previous 2 seasons.

WE WANT TO WATCH FICTION, write it realistically, sure! BUT DON'T LOSE WHAT YOU HAVE SO FAR, DON'T MUTATE INTO A DOCUMENTARY OF ALL THAT'S WRONG IN THE MENTAL HEALTH DEPARTMENT OR IN SOCIETY OR IN THE CULINARY INDUSTRY, we already know that and if we don't, we can always tune in the motherfucking news, not FX, and certainly not Disney+. Thank you very much.

[were-all-just-w31rd-k1ds]

The Beat BOTB Music Spotlight : Take Cover by Tornado Warning! Despite their humble origins and "hometown heroes" aesthetic, its safe to say that Tornado Warning! have taken BOTB by storm, though whether this is to their advantage or detriment is an ongoing debate amongst fans of the show. Though cheating rumours, celebrity candids, and relationship dramas have followed the band from day one, its difficult to deny that the group are incredibly talented performers. We all know this band have been playing together since they were teenagers in Devyn Powell's garage, but seeing them perform on stage truly hammers that home. Their familiarity and musical chemistry with each other are some of the band's biggest advantages, and their energetic presence on stage is a huge draw for fans, both in the crowd and those watching at home; no doubt all of these were contributing factors to their remarkable first week win.

For our spotlight this week, we're going approximately 10 years back in time to Tornado Warning's very first EP; Take Cover. Released when members of the band [pictured left to right, Iris De Luca, Devyn Powell, Jazzy Dawson, Rowan Hart, Seven Lawless & Beck Marlowe] were only 16, Take Cover is a record coveted by self-proclaimed "OG" Tornado Warning! fans, while many newer fans may have never heard it. All 6 tracks, including the titular "Take Cover" and fan-dubbed 'yearning anthem' "Marlboro", were written collaboratively by then co-lead singers Beck Marlowe and Seven Lawless. The EP shows the beginnings of two talented writers experimenting with their music and lyrics, and finding their feet creatively, which gives it a distinct sound and feeling from their later releases, irrespective of changes caused by Lawless' later departure from the band.

Take Cover, put simply, is a loveable mess of a record. Largely recorded in friends' basements and put together with a rudimentary understanding of GarageBand, Take Cover is an EP held together by duct tape, natural talent and youthful ambition. While the music isn't groundbreaking and the EP itself isn't poished by any meaning of the word, it takes the feeling of climbing out of your window at 3am and skating around your hometown with your dumb friends, and bottles it - and for that we can see why so many longtime fans hold this record close.

Going into next week's challenge we will see Seven Lawless, in an ironic turn of events, writing for Tornado Warning! once more. Will we see hints of a long gone era in this songwriting reunion? Or will Seven steer the band in a totally different direction, proving those days and that sound are truly in the past? Check out Take Cover by Tornado Warning!, and tune in to BOTB on MusicNow next week to find out!

This game has taken over too much brain space since the sneak peak dropped, so to channel the hyperfixation into something somewhat productive before ch4 comes out, I decided to draw the band's very first album cover. The photo was actually Seven's idea, and at 16 they all thought it was very cool and artsy and original - I hc that it was taken in a field behind the diner and Lucy would just look out the window every now and then to laugh fondly as they ran away from the camera over and over again to get the perfect shot. This is also from a time before Beck started dyeing their hair and drawing them with brown hair, even from the back, was very weird. (Ps open image for full quality bc tumblr wants to smite me)

I did not plan on writing a whole ass fake article at 1am to go with this one but lmao here we are i guess

[rmd-writes]

raebelline- if you could invite 5 famous people (dead or alive) to a dinner party, who would you pick and why? also, who is your role model or biggest inspiration?

wow, what did I do to deserve being full named?! I thought you loved me 😭

I need you to know that I have been thinking about this question all week and do not have an adequate response. But anyway, dinner party:

Dan Levy because he's funny and charming and I have so many questions for him (also I want to make him watch certain eps of s1 of Schitt's Creek and show him that he's incorrect and David does indeed have a mobile phone in s1 lol)

Rafael Silva so that I can introduce him to Dan and hopefully kickstart my dream of Dan casting him in a project - I just think that Rafa would act the hell out of a Dan Levy script!

Elmo because he'd say nice things and we all need that

I got to 3 and stalled, it's like I've forgotten every single famous person I've ever had a passing interest in 💀

Okay, I took this out of my drafts because I thought of another person:

Jane Fonda because she'd have some cracking stories to tell

I can’t think of a 5th person who I’d both want at a dinner party and who would round out the group nicely and it’s been almost a week, so I’m calling it. You can choose the last person for me.

side note: I'm not cooking at this dinner party, right? Because while I think I'm a pretty good cook, I would cry from performance anxiety and I would much rather go to a nice restaurant and invoke my super power of ordering exactly the right amount of delicious food for the table to share.

Also, I'm sorry and I'm going to give you the lawyer's favourite answer to your second question: it depends. I don't have one role model or person that I would class as my biggest inspiration. When I was 13, one of our English assignments was to interview a classmate and write a newspaper article about them. Back then, I listed my mum as my role model - she was (is) an immigrant single mum who went back to uni and got herself a second degree while I was in high school and then changed careers. I still think that's inspiring, and I admire her for it, but I wouldn't necessarily say she's my role model now, for so many reasons that don't need to be unpacked on tumblr. I find different people in my life inspiring for different things that they do, but mostly, I don't want to emulate any other person as a whole, I just want to be me, even if that means stumbling my way through life.

[bunnakit]

my stand in ep 2 thoughts, feelings, etc.

alright i wanted to write this up nicely but it took me... two hours to get through the episode bc i kept stopping to write notes, so i'll do my best i guess.

weird thing about me is when i watch shows and write notes for these posts i always write the notes on napkins? i have like 5 different notebooks in arms reach at all times but i really like scribbling on a napkin for the true unhinged effect.

anyway blah blah reminder i'm just a silly dude on the internet, idk shit about dick, i just like to say shit, don't take me too seriously.

also please DO NOT leave novel spoilers in my reblogs, tags, or replies without some kind of warning label. please? it seems to happen with every show i write meta for and i LOVE that people get hyped but there's no way for me to avoid it when it's in my notifications like that.

some before the actual episode stuff; after learning last week that some of the kinnporsche people worked on this it really becomes apparent, especially in the style of the intro.

the music choices also seem a bit reminiscent of kinnporsche (and a little bit of not me) which i really enjoy. it feels kind of familiar and comforting.

immediately i loved how soft this episode started, the slight stubble on each of them, the way joe speaks so softly as if afraid to shatter their little bubble of peace, etc. i also love that the show doesn't skirt around the topic of sex and the fact that sometimes sex is awkward and clumsy, especially with a new partner and doubly so when it's your first queer partner.

and then the peace was shattered with ming kissing his back yet again. ouchies.

"will tong be at the set?" he's just not even trying to hide it. he basically said 'yeah ur great and all but tong????' but DAMN if poom isn't the absolute king of microexpressions.

at this point i can't really tell if tong is being a spoiled prince (derogatory) or if he's tired of acting in general? judgement withheld until a later date.

and then we jump into this actress being a parallel to ming and OOF OUCHIES MY ORGANS. she's a fan of tong but has to "settle" for joe - just like ming. and yet joe takes the time to be kind, to soothe her worries and put her at ease, because he has a heart of absolute gold. "it's her first movie but she was left to drown by the male lead." it's ming's first love and he has been left to drown in it.

mek's acting is really endearing. this is my first exposure to him (ive seen some of his social media and really like what he stands for as a person) and i'm instantly drawn to his performance. he also pulls off a great balance of adorable/sexy.

OOH THE SHOW SAID BISEXUAL OUT LOUD. A WIN FOR THE BI'S WE LOVE TO SEE IT.

i personally find ming's jealously hilarious. what a little caricature of toxicity.

anyway, it seems to me that if ming could get over his feelings and enjoy what he has in front of him he could be part of and enjoy a very sweet family, as it does seem tong IS giving him love, just not the exact flavor he craves.

the cut to joe's training made me laugh. little oat lore dump but my bio dad was actually a stunt man for movies (which is another part of why i was so excited for this show) and i can promise you nothing like this was part of it. what do i know, though, maybe things have changed since the early 2000s lol.

(no, they're probably not any movies you know, aside from maybe wild wild west [1999]. he mostly did westerns, historical docudramas, and historical fiction.)

ANYWAY AGAIN. with this little glimpse into ming's home life we get to see that he's very accustomed to doing what he wants and getting what he wants, which makes a lot of sense when applied to his almost obsessive behavior regarding tong - and now joe. i did absolutely LOVE linin and her sassy independence (minus the 'i can buy anything i need'.)

but... girl... did you just spray perfume in your mouth?

your actions are strange and unsettling. i like that in a woman.

ugh getting into ming venting his frustrations on joe's body. listen. liiiisten. while toxic without prior discussion... i'm into it. it may or may not be one of my favorite tropes in fanfic. toxic and unhealthy as fuck and i'm here for it.

AND THEN DAMN POOM THOSE NOISES. ACTING FOR YOUR LIFE BBY -- and the SNEEZE AT ORGASM LMAAAO oh i hope that's a running bit for some comedic relief.

because we then make a SHARP pivot into "then stop me" and there's so much potential for pain and self loathing there, for joe to think "i can't blame ming, i didn't stop any of it." i'm sat.

a little side bar, but i'm enjoying the fact that while there is discussion of topping and bottoming as a narrative device there really aren't any stereotypes here. i think on a surface level people would think "oh joe is the top" (pit babe style) and the show said no actually he isn't. love that for us.

"you can even move in haha jk" but the thing is, not jk, because joe would do that for ming - for anyone - bc that's the type of person he is.

[i had to stop and have a lil snack here]

hold up is this wut out drinking with them? OH SHIT IT IS. OKAY. it didn't give us much but at least it's a little connection to him finally. we knew joe knew him from his first life, just didn't really know how.

"i missed you" and when was the last time someone missed joe? not who he's replacing or the space he's filling, but HIM?

love ming's goofy ass locking the door and going inside just so he can make a dramatic ass appearance like he's 'the other woman' or some shit LMAO.

"what's in you to make me jealous?" quite possibly the worst dialogue tree choice ming could've picked.

[joe's emotional well being -45]

[everyone hated that]

"don't be so full of yourself" something joe has never been a day in his life. "you're just a stand-in." he knows. it's not something he ever forgets.

but after all that toxicity we have ming back home, seeking out joe's food for comfort, and we finally get to see him interact with his sister. i LOVE that she knows the importance of being a little silly as a treat, one of my biggest life mottos. we also get to see more of how ming is surrounded by love that he misses out on bc of his own wallowing and self sabotage.

oh, the homoeroticism of sparring with your bestie.

[everyone liked that]

oop- joe is wearing the shirt ming borrowed while sol is wearing a shirt with the word 'fantasy.' i'm good, i'm fine, gwenchana, gwenchana.

ough. sol with too many eyes on him and none of them sincere and joe with nothing but sincerity to offer but remains invisible. oof ouch.

enter ming with more religious imagery to match last week's cross scene. something something the sin of greed? confessing your sins? coveting - idk man, i don't have any religious trauma, my family let me just do my own thing.

but with ming knowing joe's true feeling every toxic thing he does is going to be 1000x more painful and i'm here for it. bring it you fucked up little guy.

"we can't mess with each other's privacy" don't mess with MY privacy. "you can't mess around with anyone else" emphasis on YOU, not we.

and then it's driven home what a romantic joe is, both with his workout heartbreak poetry and this little lady and the tramp noodle moment. this man, again much like pit babe, wants to be domesticated so bad.

and i know we all have hated on ming, that's the point, he's been a caricature of a toxic relationship spelled out in neon letters --

but when was the last time ming laughed with someone like this?

ok im exhausted, i'm falling into bed to read fanfic, but i'm absolutely in love with everything this is doing so far. i haven't written anything as in depth as this since last twilight (pre-betrayal) so it's really nice to feel insane again.

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about This Love Doesn’t Have Long Beans (TLDHLB) ep 1:

I won't write this title every time because it's too long. I'll go with the acronym.

So this first episode is really trying to set the story, the characters and give us a bit of information about their relationships.

On one hand, we have chef Oab. He owns a restaurant that he wants to sell to have enough money for his master since he is sick. Oab is a conscientious chef, dedicated to doing his best but he has lost his passion for cooking. He really wants to help his master, but not at the cost of its beliefs/convictions.

On the other hand, we have Methas a rental tycoon who wants to buy the restaurant. Oab refuses. They already have bad blood because of something that happened in the past between them. Methas is shown to be ruthless and to never back down when he wants something. He wants this restaurant and he will do anything to get it.

To be sure to get the restaurant Methas will work with Plawan, a failed model/actor who is in desperate needs of money. Plawan is someone who doesn't take anything seriously except for his love for stir-fry basil. I wonder how he will succeeded because from the start, the series tells us he is really not putting enough effort in anything. It is shown on how he never really took care of his wrist after injuring it and he is still feeling pain in it.

Plawan has a best friend JJ, who is still helping him despite him being a walking disaster area (let's face it Plawan would have more problems in life if JJ wasn't here to help him). I don't know how JJ and Plawan became friends, but their bond is really strong. Even if JJ still remains a mystery for us, I'm already loving this character a lot. I think it's because he never back down even when Methas was belittling Plawan. He is my hero.

Of course, both main couples Oab and Plawan, but also Methas and JJ started off on the wrong foot. Oab doesn't take Plawan seriously and is even finding him (rightly) annoying. I get him. Plawan didn't show himself in his best light, but he can do better. I'm sure the series will show it. As for Methas and JJ, it's not better. The tension is high between all of them. I can't wait to see how everything will change.

The tone is so different from Pit Babe. It was expected. Plawan is not my favorite character yet. I get why people find him annoying. He is not really reliable. However, I believe he will have a major character growth in the upcoming episodes. My favorites are Methas and JJ. Since Pit Babe, I really wanted both actors to play together so it's already a reward. I kind of like the ennemies-to-lovers vibes we have between them. I'm easily pleased.

Let's see what we'll get next week.

[bubblyqueer000]

Can you write sfw and nsfw headcanons of Taka with an Ultimate Actor s/o? 👀

He’s my babygirl 😫

Kiyotaka Ishimaru x Ultimate Actor!GN!Reader

He issss!!! I wuv my pathetic blorbo!!

Man, this shit reminded me of my first time. I literally lost my virginity while impractical jokers played in the background. AND it was the ep where Murr's punishment was a prostate exam. So I was getting stuffed while Sal was in the background like 'LMFAOOOO IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S SUCKING ON A LEMON' dog that shit made me wanna die. He called me mommy tho so it was pretty dope. C:

TW//NSFW

♡ You and Taka had known eachother before you got together. 

♡ He had bothered you multiple times due to school absences when you had to prioritize your acting career over school work.

♡ “Y/N! Where have you been? You have missed three classes this week!”

♡ “Oh, I was at the movie shoot. Did I miss anything important?” 

♡ “W-What?! Every day of school is important!” He insisted. 

♡ “Jeez, alright calm down! It doesn’t matter if I skip class as long as I practice my talent! Everyone knows that!”

♡ Oooh, Taka did not like that answer. 

♡ That night, the two of you argued for hours in the halls, until it was late at night and some students yelled at you both to shut up.

♡ The next day, you were in your dorm practicing lines for the different projects you were acting in when you received a knock on your door.

♡ As expected it was Taka who burst through the door and pushed past you. You braced yourself for another lecture but it never comes. 

♡ “Y/N! Great news!” 

♡ “Um… What?”

♡ “I just decided I’m going to help you with your homework! Clear your desk!”

♡ Bro INSISTED upon it and he wasn’t taking no for an answer. 

♡ Begrudgingly, you allowed him to help and the two of you spent hours doing missing homework and studying.

♡ You hated every moment of it. 

♡ That is until he wanted to study Japanese.

♡ It was still pretty boring until he realized that you were paying very little attention, and his eyes wandered over to one of your scripts.

♡ “Hey! We’re studying public speaking at the moment! Why don’t you read this TV script to me!”

♡ “I… Can’t do that. I signed an NDA.” 

♡ “That doesn’t matter! I don’t watch TV!” Taka explained. You hesitate for a minute and then decide it couldn’t hurt as long as he tells no one.

♡ The two of you read the script all night and the next day, you’re suddenly best friends like Taka and Mondo.

♡ Months later, the movie you had been missing class for was released and you invited Taka to the premiere.

♡ It was the first time that Taka saw you in formal wear. Before then he already had a tiny crush on you, but after that, he knew he was in love.

♡ From there, he decided that decided that that was the day he would confess to you.

♡ Shortly after the movie, the two of you rode back to class and he realized that he was running out of time. Taka was a nervous wreck the entire time and finally, it was time to say good night, and he still hadn’t told you.

♡ He walked you to your room and… That was it.

♡ It was ten minutes when you got the knock on your door. Some of the other students were at the premiere so you figured that it was just them coming to congratulate you. Instead, standing at the door, was your very sweaty friend Taka, now half undressed only in a dress shirt, loosened tie, briefs, and a pair of socks.

♡ “Um… Hi Taka… Are you-”

♡ “Y/N! I… I’M… SO!” He says, between heavy breaths. “I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!”

♡ And that was the start of your beautiful relationship. :3

NSFW:

♡ Taka isn’t interested in anything that’s not completely and totally safe, legal, and consensual. And man, does he get embarrassed about this kind of thing. 

♡ When you two of you first had sex it was in your dorm room and it was super vanilla, but also very passionate.

♡ So much kissing, hand-holding, praise, and even eye contact after a while!

♡ Taka didn’t realize how much he liked sex until after he did it with you. Although, that doesn’t say much since you were absolutely his first time.

♡ That said when you started getting busy with what you were acting in at any given time he would often visit you on set and wait for you in your dressing room. Then when it was empty… Yeah, you know where this is going lmaoooo

♡ It took Taka a long time to be comfortable because, even though a dressing room you practically own isn’t public, he sees it as very taboo.

♡ He would never admit it but he even found it kind of thrilling.

♡ Regardless, he always prefers having sex in one of your dorms, because it usually means you can take your time and you don’t have to worry about anyone hearing who might not want to.

♡ Okie that’s it! Wuv u :3

[sister-juniper]

Cheater? (Terzo x Reader)

Angst with a happy ending :)

Summary: due to Terzo’s recent change in behavior, you assume the worst, but your assumption couldn’t be further from the truth

< Word count: 2359 >

my AO3

my Wattpad

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The past few weeks you have been noticing things being off. More specifically, things have been seeming off about your partner Terzo.

It all began when one night Terzo was 2 hours late arriving back to your shared quarters after his daily duties as Papa. He apologized, and you didn't think much of it, but it started to happen more and more frequently that he would be late.

You first brushed it off as Sister Imperator keeping him busy with extra work, as you knew that woman was a bit of a hardass when it came to Clergy business. However, this pattern continued for several weeks.

As the days passed, you grew more and more suspicious of what was actually going on.

You would question "Terzo, you keep coming home late. What is keeping you late almost daily??"

And he would respond "Mi dispiace amore, Imperator has been preparing me for the upcoming tour"

you nodded, and hoped he was telling the truth. After all, he was right. Him and the ghouls were going to be heading off on tour in a few months which did require extensive preparations.

It would be one thing if this was the only thing that was different with him, but this was not the case.

He started becoming more secretive. When you suddenly would enter into rooms he was in alone, you would notice him scramble a bit to hide whatever he was doing on his phone. Now this was incredibly suspicious.

You would shoot him a puzzled look and he would just shrug as if he had no idea what you were on about. It was driving you almost insane that he was acting like there was nothing different, even though there clearly was.

Things got to such an extent that the two of you stopped spending as much time together as usual. Terzo always seemed a little anxious around you, and that paired with the fact he was always "working" late didn't help.

After the second week passed with these things going on, you noticed fellow Siblings of Sin acting a bit weird around you too.

Whenever you would walk past a group of them, or into a room, it seemed that all eyes were on you. They would smirk and whisper to each other. You couldn't hear anything that they were saying, but your brain always assumed the worst.

How could you not assume the worst? How could stares, smirks, and whispers ever mean something good??

It seemed like almost the entire congregation knew something you didn't, and it drove you insane.

Was it something to do with Terzo? You prayed to Satan that it had nothing to do with him.

You and Terzo had been together for quite some time, over two years to be exact.

He had taken a liking to you ever since you had set foot into the Ministry. He had been there on your initiation day, he was there for your first black mass, and he had made efforts to take any chance he could to speak with you at various Clergy events.

His feelings all became clear the day he pulled you aside, took your hands in his, and asked you out on a date. That was two months after you joined the Ministry.

You were like two peas in a pod, completing each other. His extrovertedness balanced out your introvertedness, and the other way around.

The two of you could make hours of conversation, you both had so many things in common. You were both musical, both singers, and he taught you what he knew on guitar and piano.

He would place his hands over yours and teach you simple but beautiful songs on the piano. He would even pitch to you his song lyrics for Ghost, and ask for your opinions and criticisms.

You were with him throughout the recording and release of the "Popestar" EP, and you even had a part in writing the lyrics for their hit song, "Square Hammer".

You loved him dearly, and he loved you even more. He would tell you this multiple times each day. He would wake you up every morning with a kiss and asking you how you slept.

Before he left every day he would say "ti amo" and kiss you as deeply as he could before having to leave you each day. His kisses showed the desperation and sadness that he felt having to leave you every day, it was obvious he cherished you deeply.

Terzo was also amazing at planning dates. He would surprise you with your favorite bouquet of flowers, and take you to do various fun activities of all categories.

Some dates would be more casual and playful, such as the amusement park or bowling alley. Or they would be more formal such as a fine dining restaurant or wine tasting event. Both of these types you loved equally.

Your relationship was perfect, no fighting, and whenever the two of you had disagreements they would always be resolved peacefully. There was no lying nor yelling. You respected and loved each other.

All of this is why Terzo's current antics made you incredibly anxious and also upset. You feared the absolute worst, you feared he was losing interest in you, or even worse, cheating on you.

Before the two of you had become an item, you knew he had a promiscuous reputation. He was constantly sleeping around with Siblings of Sin. You were told the love he had for you was incredibly rare, and he hardly ever saw anything special in the people he took to bed.

It made you incredibly elated when you realized that you were the exception, that he saw something special in you. You had crushed on him ever since you arrived, but had absolutely zero hope he felt the same. He did however feel the same, but now you were wondering if that was ever true at all.

You would have consistent nervous breakdowns. Crying in the bed you shared while he was out "working" became a common occurance. It drove you insane with the thought he could be being unfaithful. You would sob and sob and hope that his change in behavior was all just some weird dream. You hoped you would wake up and everything would be back to normal.

You were confused on what to do. You didn't know if you should talk with him about it or not. You were worried that if you did, he would leave you.

You know you shouldn't be with a cheater, but you couldn't bare to lose him either. You'd rather stay with him being unfaithful than completely be without him.

After all, it would still hurt to walk the Ministry halls and probably see him with whatever new Sibling of Sin he chose to be his partner. It would crush your soul to a billion pieces.

After another week of consistent meltdowns, and contemplating, you decided to make the hard decision and just ask him about it. Maybe it could all be a misunderstanding? But you knew that was the best case scenario. What other explanation could there be for all of this weird behavior from both Terzo and your mutual friends?

You were sitting in the big bed in your shared quarters, awaiting his arrival at the end of the day. Your eyes were red from crying, but this time you made no effort to hide your tears. You wanted him to ask you what was wrong. You wanted him to see the pain he had caused you.

At 9:00 pm, two hours after he was scheduled to be finished with his Papal duties, you heard the key turn in the door.

Terzo opened the door with a smile on his face "Amore! I am back!!"

You said nothing, and just looked up at him with tears streaming down your face. His face fell when he saw your facial expression, and he immediately rushed over to the bed where you were sitting.

"Amorina... what is the matter? Is everything okay??"

You shook your head

"Okay... do you want to talk about it?"

Your lips started to tremble and more tears streamed down your face.

Terzo took your hands in his "It's okay, I am here now. I can do my best to help you cara mia..."

You took a deep breath before speaking "T-Terzo... what is up with you lately??"

He looked at you panicked but confused "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?? Do you not notice how weird you have been acting??"

"No... can you go into more detail?"

It angered you how he was essentially playing dumb. "Oh you know, how you have been late almost every day for the past three weeks"

Terzo opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. "Or how you hide your phone from me constantly, or how Siblings of Sin smirk at me and whisper whenever I'm around them" you spat out.

"Amore..."

"What is the meaning of all of this?? What could this possibly mean??" You yelled while tears streamed down your face

"Amore I-"

"Am I not enough for you? I love you so much Terzo... what is happening??"

"Cara just listen please..."

You took a deep breath trying to calm yourself before you got too angry. "Okay.."

"There is a good reason for all of this.. you will find out soon but I cannot tell you right now"

You shot him a perplexed look "what do you mean you can't tell me right now??"

"I'm sorry amore but I just can't, you need to trust me on this"

More tears began to prick at your eyes "what possible explaination could there be?? Why can't you just tell me now??" You shout at him while standing up

He follows your actions and also stands "Cara mia.. it's nothing bad please.."

"How the fuck should I believe that Terzo?" You shouted at him while turning to look at him

Your face was emotionless and cold, with a mix of exhaustion. You had been dealing this for too long, and you still couldn't get an explanation.

"I cry in here almost every day about this and you still won't tell me??"

Terzo's heart broke hearing those words. "Cara.. you cry every day? Why didn't you say anything until now??”

"Because I don't want you to leave me!!"

"Amorina... now why would I do that?"

"There is someone else isn't there??"

Terzo stared at your with total confusion and heartbreak. "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?? Terzo, you have been acting incredibly suspicious. All the signs point to you being unfaithful..."

"But I would never! I promise you, that is so far from the truth"

You sigh angrily "okay so, if that is not the truth, then what is?? What is the possible explanation??"

Terzo sighs and tries to take your hands in his again, but you pull away from him. "Cara mia wh-"

"Tell me right now Terzo. What the fuck have you been up to?" You say coldly

Terzo realizes he can't hide it from you anymore, he has to tell you. No matter how much he wants to keep it secret, you need to know. It was clearly killing you to not know the truth.

He sighs deeply before speaking "Amorina... the reason I have been acting like this is because I have been planning to propose to you.."

Your face changes from anger to shock in a split second "W-What?"

"Yes, that is the reason."

"B-but, how does it make sense?"

Terzo chuckles "Well.. I have been so late because I have been spending my time after work planning the proposal"

"Oh..."

"And the reason I have been secretive with my phone is because I have been searching for engagement rings"

"But what about the Siblings? Why are they whispering?"

"It is because most of them already know my plans, they all figured it out by now"

Now you can't help but feel extremely guilty. He had been planning a proposal, but your immediate assumption was that he was cheating.

Tears prick at your eyes once again, and you start sobbing heavily.

"Amore, are you okay? What is the matter now??" He says as he rushes to hug you

"I'm sorry Terzo, I'm so so sorry" you choke out through sobs

"No no amore, it is me who should be sorry, I am horrible at hiding these things"

"I can't believe I just assumed that, but you were planning to propose this whole time..."

"It's okay, it's okay. I was acting quite suspicious" he says with a light chuckle "I'm quite bad at hiding things"

You sniffle and look up at him "I love you Terzo"

He smiles warmly and looks into your eyes "I love you too amore, so so much"

He kisses you deeply and you melt into his touch. Your heart slowly starts to return to a normal beat as the relief washes over your body. He isn't cheating on you, he just wanted to propose. Wait... he wants to propose??

The realization hits you and you immediately pull back from him. "W-wait, you want to... propose?"

Terzo smiles warmly "Yes, that is what I am planning"

"Oh my gosh Terzo... you want me to marry you??"

"Why yes of course, who else would I marry?"

A huge smile crosses your face and you squeal in excitement while embracing him in a big hug. You squeeze him tightly and he laughs at your sudden burst of excitement.

"Of course I would marry you Terzo!! Oh my gosh!!"

"Well I'm glad you say yes, I guess the surprise proposal won't be super necessary now huh?"

You kiss him lightly and chuckle "you can still do it, I'm a sucker for a fancy proposal"

He sighs with some relief "good, good. I'm a sucker for those too"

To say the least, you are incredibly relieved and also elated at the thought of marrying Terzo. Your suspicions were the absolute opposite from the truth, and it made so much more sense.

—————————————

[hiperacid2]

A letter from one's aching heart.

╰┈➤ nanami kento x reader ･ﾟﾟ･｡ wc: ~600

╰┈➤ post shibuya 2018 incident, spoilers for the recent s2 ep (18), gender neutral!reader, angst, mostly hurt/small amounts of comfort, grief, unedited . ･ﾟﾟ･｡posted on ao3!! ･ﾟﾟ･｡ @bitchcraftinc ੈ♡˳

"I've lived and I've loved, I've drank bitter and cold coffee, and I've drunk it warm and sweet too. Lately the world lost its color, and with it the respite of love went away. Maybe it's still there, in the way I still cook, make coffee, load the laundry, buy takeout, and more; everything for two. I keep forgetting I'm going to wake up in an empty, cold bed, that my towels won't ever be warm again when I get out of the shower; sometimes I speak waiting for a response, but what answers me is the silence of a hollow house. I keep saying 'I'm home!' with a smile every once in a while, but then again, hollowness is all I get back. Sometimes I wonder if things could be different, if we could have had an eternity of warm embraces and late sunday mornings. Wondering is futile, you taught me that, what matters is the present, the now. There's days where I buy myself a flower bouquet and put it in your favorite vase, the one that I think is boring and dull, and other days I treat myself to a dinner date, always pouring something for you too; I hope you're enjoying that. Don't worry about me, I'm doing good, it seems I was prepared to live without you, it's so hard, but I'm doing good. Though I loathe the day your clothes stop having your smell, I keep spraying your cologne in your pillow, hoping that the smell brands itself in my brain. I've had no luck yet, maybe if I try harder I will achieve it. I hope you forgive me, but I made one of your ties my lucky charm that I tied to my bag, and I had to cut it in half, with the rest I made a bracelet which I use almost every day, hoping to have a piece of you with me always, at least physically. Maybe I will adopt that little kitten, the one you insisted I should stop feeding. His mama vanished, and he's doing relatively good by itself. But I have all this love inside me that is for you, overflowing and drowning me; it seems to like the charm made out of your tie because they always play with it when I put my bag down. Even when you're not around you still are a magnet of strays. …I am making this longer than I planned, maybe I will write you another letter next week, or when I feel ready. I hope you don't mind the ink a little smudged because I'm crying. With love, always and forever, until we meet in another life, Kento."

You carefully folded the letter, chest full of sobs and tears completely clouding your vision. Nestling the pen you just used against your chest carefully, it's weight heavy in your hands, is Nanami's favorite.

After calming down enough to move, you take the folded paper and move it next to the plain cream vase that now holds half wilted flowers, leaving it there, with the pen over it as a weight.

Grabbing your bag as you take a tissue from beside the door, you put on your shoes. The keys on the door jingle, a solitary keychain with now no pair dances. Closing the door, your next destination is the pet store, the kitten is going to need a lot of new things… absentmindedly you wonder what name would suit them as the sounds of the city engulf you.

╰┈➤ a/n: this has been rotting in my docs since SEPTEMBER !! i'm so happy to finally release it here into the wild, it's not much but im thinking about grief and him allllllll the time. thank u for reading!! ♡

reblogs are greatly appreciated