#having the potential to be immensely unhinged as well

[crehador]

i remember also having this feeling during the first season but it’s become so much more obvious in season two that there is something going on in the minato-seiya-masaki-shuu situationship that is being severely obfuscated in the anime and as an anime-only i just find myself in a constant state of bewilderment because their actions seem to suggest they are reasonably Normal about one another while the vibe they give off is that they are very clearly Not

[kanansdume]

What's crazy and really shows off how impeccably awful this show managed to be is how DIFFERENT Anakin feels between the Kenobi show and the Ahsoka show, despite the fact that he's being played by the same actor probably within a year of each other if that.

And it's so clearly not the fault of the performer, Hayden Christensen is doing the absolute MOST to give an authentic and familiar performance of Anakin in the Ahsoka show and on a STRICTLY acting standpoint, I think he succeeds. People have pointed out that the Anakin that Hayden is playing in the flashbacks, despite being in the TCW costumes, does not at all feel like TCW Anakin. There's nothing suave or charming about him. When he tries to joke and Ahsoka pushes back against it, he immediately gets defensive, which is perhaps one of the most in-characters thing about the entire performance. And obviously his performance as Sith Anakin is pure perfection.

But it's not just the performance that creates a character. It's the way other people discuss the character, it's the way that character impacts the world around them, it's what we as the audience are allowed to see of them.

In the Obi-Wan show, Anakin at his best is still a whiny little asshole. In the flashback scene, he's arrogant, he's overconfident, he's a little bit of a bully, he's stubborn, and he's a sore loser. It's left a little ambiguous as to whether this scene was a true flashback or something Else, but the dialogue of the scene and who is currently "winning" the match clearly are intended to parallel what's going on in the actual plot between Obi-Wan and Anakin. Which means you can just as easily interpret this as saying that the whiny little asshole you remember from the prequels is still the person behind that mask. Yes, he's got a vocoder changing his voice into something more menacing, his expressions hidden behind an emotionless mask, but that whiny teenager is still calling the shots here. That's precisely what motivates him. Even if it's intended as a more legitimate flashback, that's supposed to be Anakin at his BEST and he's... whiny. He's arrogant. You can say he can grow out of it at this point and that's clearly what Obi-Wan believes in the moment, but the best he's got is... still this.

And he never grew out of it, he never left that arrogance and entitlement behind. He decided to let it define him instead. He might've had promise if he'd chosen to outgrow his more negative traits, but he didn't. He just stayed forever in the mindset of that annoying little 19 year old asshole.

And at his worst, Anakin's a literal unhinged MONSTER. He's casually walking by and murdering innocents just to get Obi-Wan's attention, he's stabbing Reva just because he can, he's ripping open ships, he's burning Obi-Wan alive out of vengeance. His face when that mask comes off has a manic GLEE as he talks about having "killed" himself just to try to manipulate Obi-Wan and the way he screams Obi-Wan's name at the end is so intensely disturbing. So many people saw that moment as Anakin having this moment of mindfulness, but I didn't see or hear a single sane moment in the entire scene. The whole thing is off-kilter and it feels pretty intentionally off-kilter, both in the writing and the acting and directing. Anakin's made his choice. This is it.

In the Kenobi show, Anakin might've once had promise. But he also had immense potential for monstrous evil, that was ALSO there as well. And whatever promise used to be there is now squandered in favor of the arrogance and cruelty and entitlement, which means that it's not worth Obi-Wan's time and effort and energy continuing to wonder what if about it. Because, quite honestly, it doesn't MATTER. Obi-Wan isn't fighting for Anakin anymore by the end. He's not fighting to destroy Anakin, but he's not fighting to save him, either. And the whole point of his relationships with Luke and Leia is that he has to learn to care about them for who THEY are rather than because he cared about their biological parents. He has to see them for who they've become and allow them to grow without worrying about how much like Anakin or Padme they might end up being. They're not Anakin and Padme, they're Luke and Leia, and his relationship with them is ultimately better for letting go of seeing them as anything other than who they actually are.

The people who were in charge of the Kenobi show clearly understood that in order for Obi-Wan to stand on his own as a main character of his own story, they needed to clearly differentiate him from Anakin and FREE him from Anakin. Yes, Obi-Wan is built to be Anakin's narrative foil and has been since day 1. Yes, Obi-Wan's story is very tied up in Anakin's. But this was OBI-WAN'S story and just for this one moment, they could let Obi-Wan be more than just someone who revolves around Anakin. He's his own person who makes his own connections and relationships that have nothing to do with Anakin and he only truly starts to feel like himself again when he walks away from Anakin and leaves him behind and accepts that Anakin has chosen to be someone that Obi-Wan cannot change. No one writing the Kenobi show wanted Obi-Wan to be more IMPORTANT to the narrative than Anakin, but they were able to allow Anakin to take a back seat so that Obi-Wan could actually grow and develop into his own character.

The same cannot be said for the Ahsoka show.

In the Ahsoka show, Anakin is portrayed IMMENSELY positively. At his best, Anakin is a wise powerful sage watching over someone he cares about and pushing her to be better. At his worst, he's... pushing her a little? They MENTION he's intense, and we see visions of him as a Sith, sure, but if that was Anakin at all, then it leaves you with the impression that he only pushed Ahsoka because he cared about her and she needed it and he was ultimately right to do so anyway. Was it tough? I guess, but nothing that would ultimately truly hurt her at all. Anakin's worst sins aren't touched on at all. Anakin is constantly remembered as someone who was GOOD without really acknowledging that while he might've been good at times, he wasn't always. Even when Ahsoka remembers him as a good master, he was still someone who believed in fascism and had massacred an entire village down to the last child. That person Ahsoka remembers was still a bad person and this show desperately wants you to forget that any of that is true about him.

And via proxies like Sabine and Ahsoka herself, this show DEFENDS Anakin's choices across the board. It's not even just that he was a good master, but that he ultimately did the RIGHT THING by choosing Padme over the galaxy because he did it out of "love," turning the genocide of the Jedi into something that was caused by their OWN failures instead of Anakin's failures.

There's zero recognition that Anakin was, ultimately, a failure. He was a failure as a Jedi, a failure as a master, a failure as a husband and a father, and a failure just as a generally good person. Anakin was a bad person who did bad things. Maybe he wasn't always, maybe he had his moments, fine, but overall? What's the legacy he leaves? What are people going to truly remember him for most? Despite his choice to save Luke in his last moments, his impact upon the galaxy is still a net negative.

And Ahsoka can have good memories of him and still recognize that Anakin's impact upon the galaxy was a bad one. She can choose to focus on the good memories she has without pretending like he was in actuality a good master who did nothing wrong. It's not like those two things can't co-exist and that is, in essence, exactly what Obi-Wan has to do. It's why he can say honestly and genuinely tell Leia at the end of the show that her father was "passionate, fearless, and forthright" even though just a day or so ago he'd accepted that Anakin himself had chosen to be an evil person now. He can remember Anakin as the friend he'd cared for AND recognize that the person Anakin is now is not that person anymore. Anakin NOW is evil, Anakin NOW doesn't deserve Obi-Wan's time or focus or grief, Anakin NOW needs to just be let go of. They aren't two separate people, obviously, but people do grow and change, and Obi-Wan once loved Anakin, but the boy Obi-Wan loved is gone because Anakin has chosen not to be that kind of person anymore. He's not kind, he's not compassionate, he's not merciful, or thoughtful or any of the good qualities he used to have. The Kenobi show forces both Obi-Wan and the audience to recognize that no matter how good someone might once have been, it's important to recognize when they're not acting like that person anymore and it's better to let them go and walk away.

And the reason Ahsoka can't do that is because the writers can't. The people in charge of writing Anakin in this show see him so differently than the people who wrote Kenobi. The the writers of the Ahsoka show, Anakin is "the greatest of all of the Jedi," not even just for raw power reasons, but because he understood what love was all about and felt it so deeply. So instead of that love twisting him and being in so many ways his greatest flaw, it turned into his greatest strength, something the Jedi just didn't understand. They're coming at Anakin from a WILDLY opposite direction here and so the way he gets depicted and spoken about comes across so unnervingly different.

You CAN see it as Ahsoka just... viewing Anakin differently. Obi-Wan knew Anakin as a child and was a Jedi Master before the betrayal, so he is more capable of viewing Anakin as the whole of what he was and letting him go. Whereas Ahsoka was a lot younger, she barely got any training before the betrayal, so her perspective on him is intensely skewed by this. She can't truly conceive of Anakin as both the good master she remembers AND the nightmare monster she knows he became, so she just... picks one. She chooses to see him as a good master and that's it. Nothing else he ever did matters. She never has to think about the genocide, the murders, the enslavement, the betrayals. He was a good master, and that's the end of the story. This is the best way she can learn to cope with this particular trauma is to just... ignore it and decide it didn't happen and so her version of Anakin is the ONLY version of Anakin.

But the narrative itself sort-of presents this as the honest truth of Anakin rather than just Ahsoka's perspective on the matter. It's not that Ahsoka just can't cope any other way, it's that this is, legitimately, who Anakin was. Anakin WAS a good master and the fact that he abandoned Ahsoka to die and tried to kill her and genocided her people and desecrated her home apparently doesn't change that at all. Because he did all of it for love. And the fact that Anakin was the "greatest of all the Jedi" because of this means that Ahsoka gets exalted even more so because of that.

But Obi-Wan doesn't need that. He doesn't need to be exalted as better than everyone else, he doesn't need to be made important by manipulating the narrative. He already IS important and the people writing his story know that. He's not important because he's better than Anakin, he's important just because he is. He's baked into this story and can't be removed from it without completely undoing it and telling a totally new story. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are, in some ways, total opposites. Obi-Wan is a massively important character to the narrative who's never been the main character of his own story before the Kenobi show, while Ahsoka spent a long time as the main character of her story but has never and will never be that important to the narrative. She can be added to it and give some extra dimension to it, but she can be pretty easily removed from it, too.

And their relationships to Anakin in their respective shows seem to reflect the way the writers feel about those facts and their understanding of the characters themselves.

[zishu-arts]

1. What's ur fav avm ep? Or generally ava ep

2. What's ur fav short?

3. And favorite character? Why is that your favorite character?

4. Do u kin anyone? Why?

5. What are your thoughts on King Orange? Personally, I do love the character but I wanna see some controversy. He was forgiven too easily. Do you think that he's affected by immense guilt of his actions? Pls go in detail as much as you wish

6. What are your favorite (hc or not) relationships? Doesn't need to be romantic. Do you have thoughts on relationships between characters that haven't interacted? Or some hc on characters that did (example: I love the hc on Purple and Red hanging out so often that Red goes to visit Purple for advice on PRANKS out of all things)

If I think of something more, I'll send it through!!

1). i dont think i can pick a favorite since there's so many but i love rewatching Lush Caves, Ultimate Minecart Race, The Chef, The Ultimate Weapon (and honestly just the entire KO arc lmfao). For AVA its gotta be The Showdown it's just SOOO GOOD the animation, the concepts, the plot, ahhhh

2). hard once again, but Music Lesson is so goddamn funny

3). THE DARK LORD THE DARK LORD THE DARK LORD (red is my second favorite tho). okay so, honestly it's just the amount of potential and trauma i could give him. i love his character and lore like, the idea of the Mission Code. what does it mean that you've been created for the sole purpose to destroy, and what does it mean that the person you're made to destory become your best friend? like, the existance of that code brings up so much potential and you could literally take it in so many ways. and like, just the story of cho and dark being two people who were coded for a purpose and run away. what...happens to that purpose? what are you supposed to do now? it's very "what am i if not a weapon?" "yourself. isn't that a wonderful person to be?" (i also dont remember where this quote is from). and also, i look at this little bastard and i think ah yes, he is a goddamn maniac. absolutely insane. i can make him as unhinged as possible and i think that's amazing.

i also think it's great that it's so easy for me to just do whatever i want with him like he's some dress up doll. i've got a genderbent version of him. i've got him with ADHD. i've got him with autism. i've got him trans. he's depressd. he has anxiety. he's in love. there's no saving him.

i also like that like. he's dead. he might not be dead. who fucking knows? and he's such an interesting character, is he evil, is he nice, does he care, what does he like? i want to know everything about him and i want to squish him like a little ball

(i alos like that he's very easy to self project into)

4). hmmmm honestly? i only ever kinned like one character (yuki from horimiya) so im not too familiar with actually kinning. if i had to pick, probably red, mostly cause i see him as a hyper possibly ADHD guy who's always running head first into situations without a thought and think damn he's jus tlike me fr

5). KO/MANGO TALK LETS GO !! you're def right, he was forigven too soon, but i like to think or hope that they at least had a bit of bonding. okay well first off i want to start off with: i see a lot of content where we view mango as like around 20 years old which i want to immedately have on the table: what do you mean 20 years old. he's got a goddamn kid that seems to be maybe 8-10, he's got to be at least reaching 40 by the time we actually see him in AVM. and no, 40 is not too old, they can still do backflips and fight ppl (as long as mango maintained a healthy lifestyle with daily exercise, healthy diet, and good sleep).

i love the fact that he went evil because he lost his son, and that he got lost in his anger and started hurting everyone around him. although i do think his and purple's relationship could do with A LOTT of work. their trust was broken over and over again (mostly on purple's end) and im not sure mango particularily remembers how to treat a child well. and did mango ever like,,,yk,,,properly grieve for his son? for all we know, he went home the same day he lost gold, punched his wall a lot, then went straight to working on the staff. now that he doesn't have that drive anymore, i think that's all going to catch up to him. he really needs to properly grieve and mourn and recover before he goes about doing anything else.

he can, in fact however, be a good person/father as long as he's got that under the belt. (which you could def see that he was pretty swag when he still had gold). i personally see him as a raspy and gruff guy so he's also a man of very few words. that also means he probably has a buttload of communcation issues that is gonna affect his relationship with other people. he has got A LOT to work on

i also want to mention how i don't particulary enjoy the "overprotective father that trails their child everywhere". i don't think a lot of people view mano this way either, but i just want it on the table that even though mango would definitely be protective of purple, he won't be weird about it

6). ohhhh okay okay if you've read my fics you know i am in love with the "siblings victim & dark" as well as "siblings chosen and second". i feel like vic and dark are both insane and enable the worst, unhinged parts of each other. and then chosen and second are pretty much polar opposites with "doesn't say a word + yapper"

i also love it when CC treat red as like the youngest hyper sibling bc he really does give off that energy. also I AGREE WITH YOU purple and red together were so cute it was so unexpected but i love that

i also really really really want to see dark and purple interact with each other. mostly because they're probably the two most least likely characters to ever see each other. but i like the idea of dark terrorizing purple and it works because purple the whole time is like 'holy fuck this is that terrorist holy fuck shit oml'

i also want to see purple and mango interact with alan. im not sure if they ever did? but id like to imagine one day alan logs onto his computer and sees these two random sticks on his screen and is like who the fuck are you guys

(my guy desperately needs a VPN)

i ADORE blue + yellow. both in a platonic and romantic sense. they're like skater girl + nerd girl to me. they're so goddamn adorable and i'm very obsessed with seeing them. they hold hands. they're polar opposites. they're always together. they're the duo that if you just see one of them it seems wrong. if one of them is missing, you automatically ask the other one where they are, because they no doubt would know. gods they're so entwined with each other

thanks for the ask !!

[rhiannons-bird]

okay so I‘M FINALLY READING SWORD CATCHER AND I HAVE THOUGHTS

I‘m only about halfway through but I need to rant

- it‘s incredible how well cassie manages to lend a unique voice to each of her characters every single time. she just doesn’t miss does she?

- lin caster is the awesomest girl. i just love her because she reminds me of other cc girls in the way that she is kind of a very typical heroine on the surface but you can actually feel her emotions and she’s very believable & flawed & human and you just can’t help rooting for her + i love her friendship with mariam

- everyone is bisexual & it’s completely normalised i love it here

- lin & conor??? apparently they are the flagship which I know because I took a peek at the tag after they had two scenes together because the ENERGY OMG

- ahh yes, conor 😌 another pretty man with issues who’s in a lot of trouble and likes to cover it up with sarcasm, pompous behaviour, fancy clothes & vanity- you just can’t help but love it

- but also he‘s the biggest prick and i want him to have some sense beat into him by everyone around him

- like he qualifies for a huge growth arc but it could also go downhill and turn into sth ugly

- anyone had a weird sense of déjà vu about him and lin after that one little excerpt about adessa and suleman? like, she’s an ashkar with probably immense magical potential let’s be real i see where this is going and he‘s a prince (future king) with marivent blood 🤔🤔🤔

- conor‘s frat boy posse make my blood boil- especially with the way they talked about antonetta in that one scene 🤢🤮

- falconet is the nicest one by far but he‘s sus as hell i know he’s up to sth 🤨 but i rly wanna like him 😭

- the ragpicker king is just a cool dude who dresses emo and has people murdered on the regular i guess i love him. he’s hot. - kaz energy but also very different at the same time. can‘t wait to see more of him. and there’s def more to him.

- also no, andreyen, i don‘t understand either what people mean about ji-an having an off putting manner i‘m pretty convinced she‘s never done anything wrong in her entire life 💗except for the murder what murder

- kel can only be described as a calmly unhinged cinnamon roll. he reminds me a little of james (especially with his „mask“) but if you orphaned him & janked up the loyalty & sluttiness by a hundred

- like fr he is so confused just running around threatening and/or kissing people wtf 😭✋🏼 he just has chemistry with everyone he interacts with lol

- kel & conor remind me of matthew & james but if there was a big power imbalance and a everything is a little more fucked up 🙃

- generally the way power & power dynamics are portrayed and handled is very interesting i like it

- antonetta has my entire heart ❤️

- I need more of her but as an individual not just through kel‘s pov, so far i’m not very big on whatever is being hinted at with her and kel

- I adore merren just like everyone else, he‘s kind of giving a weird mix of christopher/matthew/wylan and I‘m here for it. plus: autism coded character yeass

- also nice to see some jewish rep. (i did not know cassie was jewish before lol) the ashkar are really interesting (& as far as their treatment by the rest of the world goes at times infuriating😤) to read about and add a lot of depth to the world building.

- i love how we see the complexities of their culture portrayed through lin who on the one hand is deeply ingrained in it and holds/has received a lot of love & care for/from her own people while also having been wronged & ostracised by them and how both can be true simultaneously

- as someone who‘s very familiar with multiple romance languages the languages in this book are incredibly entertaining to me

- SO MANY SECRETS & political intrigue hehehe rubbing my little hands together can’t wait for all this to escalate (because it most certainly will) 😈

bottom line

I’m really glad i finally started reading this.

it took me a while to get into it & I’m still holding out on a final judgement since it seems very slow but i’m a patient reader and i appreciate a good setup.

also I want a creepy black crocodile pool in my house now.

[kiragecko]

Re: Jason's guest appearance in Green Arrow. Honestly I really want to see Mia and Jason meet again years later in a team up scenario purely because I think the vibes would be unhinged

Like... They don't really meet again I'm pretty sure so they're walking into that first meeting of the teamup with the perspectives of

Jason: Oh nice, I'm working with that fellow graduate of the school of hard knocks I talked to years back! I hope she ditched her deadweight mentor and is doing good. She seemed badass, tons of potential.

And

Mia: Oh shit, I'm working with that fuckin weirdo who blew up my school and gave me friendly(???) Murder Advice.

And I just think that holds a lotta chaotic potential!

Also I haven't finished the relevant Teen Titans comics yet, so I'm hoping for a scene where Tim and Mia can go like "oh he tried that shit with you too?!"

That would be SO MUCH FUN! We get no fun scenes in Teen Titans, as far as I can tell. That period of the comic wasn’t very interested in fun. But Jason and Mia!

Jason trying to team up with any teen would be fun, because his perspective is so skewed. But Mia is both stable, and sarcastic, in ways that would play really nicely with Jason’s everything.

Mia: I am only working with you if you give me all the explosives.

Five minutes later: YES! YES THAT RULE INCLUDED ROCKET LAUNCHERS! Give it to me. Now.

20 minutes later: Fine. But I’m setting off the explosion.

Jason does very well with this sort of leader, and enjoys the whole thing immensely. Mia … finds it stressful, but not necessarily bad. She gets tripped up a few times when Jason makes the type of joke Roy would, but then is completely sincere about actually doing it. She expects him to have at least a LITTLE common sense!

[vvindication]

2, 7, and 25 for the oc ask yaaaaaaayyy (for whoever you'd like !!)

MINTT YAAAAY thank you hugging you hugging you !!

2. How much death and/or destruction have they wrought? SUCH A LOADED QUESTION. and such a fucking good one. if I were to compare the amount of misery caused between Vincent, Armistice, and Joakim ...

well, Armistice was the moralist politician. she was definitely causing the most harm on a grand scale whether she liked it or not. im not really interested in getting into the weeds of All That (bureaucracy is the quickest way to bore me I cant be assed to research that deeply for a hobby fic) but he was not responsible in his job whatsoever

well, no - by the time the events of The Fic roll around he isnt. I really do think she tried to be the son her father raised at first. that might have caused even more suffering than ignoring his job altogether to deal drugs and purposefully endanger himself. by actually trying to be a good moralist and make sure that the status quo is upheld (no matter the suffering of those people under the status quo)

as for our cop duo, Joakim has one extra year of formal service before Vincent, as well as a few informal years as a civilian informant. I'd like to think he did a lot more good in that time than harm, considering the reason he got involved to begin with was stumbling onto human trafficking as a teen - but he is also more trigger-happy than he would like to admit. if he thinks someone is in danger, he WILL shoot first and ask questions later, which inevitably leads to killing and maiming

I imagine his record of kills is more numerous than his partner's. I'd say an estimate of 1.5 deaths per year until his own death - making that 6 in total at the very least (idk why I decided to do fancy math about it, but it is what it is)

Vincent on the other hand avoids lethal force at all costs - he's not the strongest physically, so most of this entails convincing Joakim to back him up with restraint/fists rather than a bullet. hes trying to help people, not kill them - but then again, he gains the nickname Omen for a reason. people tend to die around him for no real fault of his own. it's Revachol, after all. hes killed about 3 people out of his service of 8 years, one out of strict vengeance for Joakim's death, others accidents of self-defense that he regrets immensely

7. What's their pain tolerance? FUN QUESTION I was thinking abt this while watching a character have an incredibly high pain tolerance going hmmm interesting ...

I do think Vincent is one of those people that has absolutely freakish pain tolerance + strength in the heat of an altercation because of adrenaline, but as soon as it starts working its way out of his system that guy is DOWN for the count. kind of dude who doesnt even realize hes hurt until someone else points it out. small things hes a wimp for though <3

speaking being a wimp, Mikael has to have some crazy pain tolerance considering how often hes constantly fuckin getting hurt and still smiling away. has a lot to do with him keeping up an extreme facade for police work & toxic masculinity, but if he didnt have it before police work, I imagine it would be a "fake it til you make it" kind of situation that developed over time. predator animal fear where no one can ever see him weak or theyre going to Kill Him To Death

25. Have they tore someone to shreds with their bare hands? With their teeth? OOOOH okay I love having characters that bite because well. thats me. im the biterrr (and I think thats a fun way of showing how potentially unhinged or desperate a character is in a fight) but I wouldnt say any of my disco ocs fit this criteria. HOWEVER

my FC5 Rook does definitely fit that criteria (funny - hes also a cop but from a different media) as the de facto leader of resistance against a violent cult. being stranded in what amounts to the middle of nowhere with no official backup and an organized militia trying to torture, indoctrinate, and/or kill him does insane shit to his brain. that guy turns into a monster all for the initial goal of genuinely trying to stand up to some evil shit he didnt like. the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and so on ...

anyway on top of that he was starved and denied water and who knows what else by one of those particular cult guys in an effort to basically turn him into a trained killing machine, so if he hadnt already been ready to seriously rip ppl apart with his hands & teeth that definitely did it

[earlgodwin]

sorry in advance if this has already been answered before! i appreciate all your takes on juan and i love reading your tags, and wanted to ask your opinion of the grimy things juan did, like SA, dangling the baby, torturing a child, murdering paolo, etc. (i don't meant this as a comparison to anyone else; we all know cesare was guilty of pretty heinous things as well. BUT, if mentioning them both, juan was like the golden child who as soon as he didn't feel like he was getting the praise or attention he felt he deserved, he did some pretty awful things. cesare was always having to fight to prove himself due to being second fiddle in rodrigo's eyes, so i feel like excuses can be thrown around all day for both of them back and forth, hence why i was hoping to hear your thoughts primarily on juan specifically rather than versus cesare). also, do you really think juan would've defeated caterina and brought down the walls of forli? if so, can you explain why? i feel like even cesare would've struggled were it not for micheletto. hopefully this doesn't come off in any negative way at all, i'm just genuinely curious to hear your thoughts! (i love talking about the borgias but no one close to me has watched it) xx

now that's a good ass question!! and no, don't worry, it's not even slightly negative at all <333 buckle up for the long answer 🙏

first off, i just want to clarify that i *don't* like excusing juan's (or even cesare's) actions because, for me, it's more about understanding why he was acting the way he did :)

now i'll try to answer this in parts:

"juan was like the golden child who as soon as he didn't feel he was getting the praise or attention he felt he deserved did some pretty awful things."

tbh, i've never seen it like this, and i disagree because it's obvious that he feels like he doesn't get enough attention. he always feels inferior to his siblings, like the *real* black sheep of the family. he also feels incredibly isolated, especially after their papacy era when he has no one to be there for him. there's a reason he drowns himself in hedonism!! also, he's terrified that he might not be a "true borgia" since there are rumors about vanozza's commoner husband possibly being his real dad. in the first episode, he was so triggered when a prostitute called him a "bastard," and he aggressively replied to her, proclaiming himself as his father's "favorite" son. despite being "favored" by rodrigo, he still feels like he's not enough because he's aware that his dad confides in and trusts cesare, while all he gets from their dad are reminders that he's only favored because it's rodrigo's wish, refusing to favor the *real* favorite son, cesare, due to self-loathing (cesare being exactly like rodrigo, as if he was a mirror of him, etc.), even though he immensely loves him. meanwhile, rodrigo is always scolding juan and threatening him with replacing him with cesare and shunning him if he doesn't do better, saying that *all* his position and honor could be taken from him in a heartbeat, etc. that's why juan is an absolute blusterer towards cesare because he's a soldier instead of him (even though juan pretty much doesn't give a fuck about being a soldier BUT it's the only thing he has over cesare). and cesare was made juan's keeper by rodrigo, always sending him to pull juan back like some sort of unhinged animal. this deeply affected juan and intensified his insecurities and impulsiveness, but he keeps putting on his façade as he always does.

ok so let's talk about juan's nasty actions:

beating up vanozza's husband, theo: so, as i said earlier, juan is terrified by the idea that his mother's husband, theo, might actually be his father. In juan's eyes, having a commoner as his potential father is seen as a 'threat' to his honor and a disgrace. he is deeply offended by seeing theo being affectionate with his mother and being allowed into the borgia household while abandoning the house rodrigo bought for him. the whole situation deeply offends juan, and it's something that cesare also feels similarly about theo, as he dissed him in season 1 episode 4. however, cesare is not as threatened by him as juan is, as cesare possesses a cooler head and is less insecure about the parentage matters.

killing paolo: so we know how juan clearly remembers the bullying and xenophobic attacks he endured as a child for being a spanish jew in italy. he's still deeply affected by it because even when they triumphed and entered their papacy era, they were still hated upon and not recognized as a superior power because of their ancestry. it troubles juan, which is why he holds his status very dear and makes sure everyone knows he's the pope's son and the gonfaloniere of the papal army, etc. so the last thing juan needs is scandals in the family or someone shaming them, like paolo, for instance. a noblewoman like his sister getting impregnated by a peasant is a huge scandal. earlier, rodrigo taught him through harshness (slapping him, yelling at him, etc.) that he was bred to be a soldier and to protect the family. that stuck in his mind. moreover, getting rid of paolo is something he genuinely thought was the right thing to do, and he protected the family. he even expected praise for it since he often did things to impress and please them. but, typical juan, he acts without thinking things through, never anticipating that he would mess things up even more and disappoint them all. what hurt him the most was that lucrezia hated him for killing paolo, especially when he believed he did it to protect her, so he tried to make it up to her but with no solution (juan's anger at paolo could also stem from his incestuous feelings for lucrezia, and envy consumed him, leading him to find a motive to get rid of paolo, but that's another story.) paolo's murder was an act meant to be *good* but caused a lot of pain, grief, and hatred.

torturing caterina's son, benito: in the previous battle with the french, when juan surrendered instead of fighting them, his family basically called him a useless fool and pushed him aside. despite witnessing his troops being ripped apart by the french's chain cannon, juan was still seriously willing to fight and die doing it. however, lucrezia stopped him and convinced him to surrender because the prospect of him dying upset her, and juan couldn't bear to upset her. anyway, lucrezia was glorified (as she should be) as a savior, and for some reason, cesare was put on a pedestal, even though he did little except chase down ursula and kill her husband while his sister was being abused by her husband in pesaro. juan felt deeply destroyed by this and started spiraling into darkness. then later, given the mission of forli, he decided to do anything to pressure caterina to surrender because he refused to fail again as he did in the first battle against the french. he was even willing to discard his principles and threaten to kill her son, benito, by torturing him. he was determined to win this and bring caterina to rome. however, he ultimately failed due to ludovico's attack, which outnumbered juan's troops.

dangling the baby: one thing about juan is that the more his family, whom he desperately wanted to be loved by, pushes him away, the more he pettily pushes back and hurt them. his arrogance and fake narcissistic nature don't allow him to refrain from clapping back. so, after he told lucrezia that everything he did was for her own good and she still didn't buy it, it drove him mad. as a result, he wanted to provoke her by dangling the baby over the balcony, just to get under her skin. another reason is that, as he mentioned when he was getting high on opium, he was terrified that the baby, giovanni, could be lucrezia and cesare's child, and that the child was a "demon who would devour the world," to quote him. so, yes, he felt threatened by the baby. i mean, juan basically lost his marbles in his final episode lol

attempting to SA the dancer: david oakes described juan's final episode as if juan was already 'dead' the whole time. he was told by the writers to play juan as the antagonist as much as possible, as they wanted to showcase juan's worst actions to deem his death as 'necessary' as they couldn't flourish historical accuracy anymore since juan was supposed to be dead in s1 lol. so, if we're going to explain this particular action, i would say that juan had been suffering from depression and other horrible illnesses, the syphilis is already rotting his brain, and he was already losing his grip on reality due to the constant mockery he endured, including the 'ten more sons' taunt from everyone, including cesare. feeling betrayed and hated by everyone, he told himself he might as well fuck it all up lash out and attack anyone, including the poor girl whom he assaulted after she mocked him.

afterward, he returned to opium to get high again, which led him to see hallucinations. specifically, he saw images of himself and cesare being close and loving towards each other. in that moment, he realized that his salvation lay in affection and love, starting with wanting to reconcie with cesare and forming a brotherhood with him. juan confessed to cesare that he had been in pain his entire life. however, cesare seemed neither to be listening nor touched by his speech because he had already made up his mind to get rid of juan and pursue his own career. while killing him, cesare made it clear that juan was never considered a true borgia, and he stated that they never forgive, despite juan's forgiveness for cesare's constant mockery.

"so you really think juan would've defeated caterina and brought down the walls of forli?"

why not? juan may be physically weaker than cesare, but he certainly has a huge brain. he's the most perceptive character in the show, being the only one who foresaw the events before they happened. he predicted cesare and lucrezia's affair, and it came true. he also warned rodrigo that cesare was trying to kill him, and it happened. like couldn't he have eventually outsmarted caterina and set her up? also, i kinda relied on what david said: "juan laid a successful siege and would have kicked ass at Forli if cesare had let him know... jealousy, huge jealousy." so, yeah <3

so, obviously juan's behavior was constantly and undoubtedly harmful, and it caused a lot of pain and suffering to himself and his family. his actions were driven by a combination of deepseated insecurities, fear of inadequacy, the desperate need for validation and recognition from his loved ones, and a sense of entitlement. he constantly felt overshadowed by cesare and struggled to live up to the expectations and standards set by his father. in my opinion, juan borgia is a complex tragic character who was already doomed by the narrative. all he wanted was his family's validation and love, but he ended up being hated and discarded by them, unmourned. if i ever wanna describe juan with two words, they would be "misguided" and "self destructive"

[sssardonian-ssserpent]

Please ramble about your carnihell Pent 👀

Ahhh, Carny Pent, my beloved deranged maniac of a muse! I actually think he’s the most obviously and overtly unhinged out of all of my muses. Like all of my muses are evil as shit, but they’re like, “yeah I’m evil and I’m fucking proud of it” while Carny Pent is more along the lines of “YES I AM EVIL AND IT IS ALL IN DEVOTION TO THE SERVICE OF MY MASTERS!” Like, he less came into his evil nature of his own volition and was more brainwashed into religious zealotry by a cult that had taken him in when he was at his most vulnerable and most weak, and the brainwashing itself, not to mention the obvious favoritism that some of the Ars Goetia (specifically Purson) showed him due to his potential to be a vassal to them, was enough to cement in him an overwhelming desire to devote every aspect of himself, mind body and soul, to the forces of Hell and everything in it.

Not to say that he is a total victim of Hell either, he has done absolutely abominable things in service to Goetia, and he is a sadistic cannibalistic cult leader that RELISHES in causing immense suffering to those he lured into deals/the traps he litters throughout his carnival, seeking to torment them and slowly wear them down until he breaks them into devoted followers that worship his very image, adding more members to the cult, or winds up tearing out their souls to trap them in an endless void and devouring their bodies if they try to escape or actively try to kill him. He is a vile, vile man that eagerly hides his monstrous identity behind a friendly smiling face and a brightly lit carnival full of games and rides and attractions, and is arguably the most powerful person in the entire cult, not only having ruled it for a hundred years but also having proved to have kept the position even among the thousands of other demons that also have lived and died within the cult, both on Earth and in the depths of Hell. The reasons why he runs the carnival to begin with is because it’s the perfect way to lure in new potential followers, either willing or not, and is also a perfect way to allow his cult to drum up business and money so he can keep everyone fed, well cared for, and happy. A carnival is a community after all! And it’s best to keep the community happy!

[distort-opia]

As much as I absolutely love the joker as a jester and Batman as a king trope (I mean who doesn’t like?) but one of my absolute favourite ideas is the joker being a prince and joker being a knight and since you always seem to be good at talking about fun ideas like this I’d love to see your opinion on an au like that

Thank you, glad you enjoy my ranting! I assume you meant Joker as the Prince, and Bruce as the Knight? That's an interesting change, it has a lot of comedic potential.

I can maybe imagine Joker's personality for a prince character, and Bruce being a sullen, grim Knight who's assigned to protect him. Joker's supposed to inherit the throne, but he's a wild, unhinged, careless person, who doesn't seem to care for his reputation and keeps pulling crazy shenanigans; so the Court assigns the most hard-working, competent, serious Knight they have to reign him in, and keep him away from trouble. That'd be Bruce, who at first would be immensely annoyed by Joker and wish to strangle him every 5 minutes. He absolutely "accidentally" knocks Joker out at some point, so he finally stops talking. Meanwhile, Joker is annoyed by how unbending and fixated on rules the Knight is, and makes it his life goal to make him have a mental breakdown and quit his job. But of course, they maybe face some life-or-death challenges together and learn to understand why the other is the way they are, and become attached.

It's fun to imagine! I have to admit though, I have trouble with Batjokes AUs that are too removed from the original material (and a recent ask articulated why really well). I love the soulmates-who-are-fated-to-be-enemies-forever aspect too much. How about Bruce is a Knight and Joker is a shape-shifting dragon he's supposed to slay? We even have a Joker dragon in canon, and an Endgame cover basically depicting this scenario. [slams fists on table] Joker has been a reptile so many times at this point, it's his destiny.

[crehador]

brother crab's winter 2024 parting thoughts: high card s2

WHAT THE HELL

HIGH CARD IS GOOD?!

tl;dr very flashy and aesthetic, consistently good in that regard, but the story was not always gripping to me. however, with the ultimate payoff in the last three eps, totally worth it imo

full review:

wow wow wow i'm kind of glad i fell way behind on anime and had the last three eps of s2 to binge all at once because hoooly shit i enjoyed that immensely

at no point did i think high card was bad, but it definitely had moments where it didn't fully grab me. there were times when it felt like all flash, no substance

and it's definitely not perfect, i have some serious and fairly significant gripes with it. mainly i'm really bummed that leo, wendy, and vijay never really got fully fleshed out. i mean i get it, finn's the main character and chris is the thinly veiled love interest also important so obviously they're going to take up most of the time, but i really feel like the other members of the crew had so much unexplored potential (especially wendy and vijay, because leo did sort of get his moment as a factor in the old man yaoi situation)

speaking of which THE OLD MAN YAOI!! man there were a lot of moving pieces in this show, and sometimes they came together in messy ways (or didn't really come together at all... some bits do still feel pretty disjointed and jumpy to me, tbh)

but overall the payoff of the s2 finale was absolutely worth it to me, particularly since it dealt with my favorites of those moving pieces: the old man yaoi and the sudden YANDERE ONIISAN ARC

i find myself really wishing the show had gone harder on both of those threads sooner, but like... honestly i'm not disappointed with how they played out. the whole theodore and ban thing could not have been more tropey (YEARS of loathing only for a "the one i wanted to protect all along was... you" and then dying for each other like HELLO yes an absolute tropefest BUT TROPES THAT I LOVE. GOOD FOR THOSE TOXIC DOOMED YAOI MFERS)

tilt has always been fascinating to me right from the character design and i am more or less satisfied with how things played out for him too, though i kind of wish we'd had more of this development spread throughout the series. i guess it was there, but... i dunno. in some ways feels like there could have been More (but i may be biased)

like you gotta feel bad for him, it's a sad story, but also that extreeemely creepy unhinged yandere oniisan "i have been stalking you i literally have a wall with giant blown up photos of you i hate the other guy who is calling himself your brother" sequence was SO FUCKING DELICIOUS LIKE WTF??? stunned and absolutely blown away by how hard they went on that, what a delight

(ironically it makes me think about how unhinged matakara in bucchigiri?! just doesn't work while unhinged tilt in high card works super well, but this is not about bucchigiri?! so i won't get too into that)

i am still admittedly just. kind of like. idk. i go back and forth on finn and chris, as characters and as partners. i don't dislike them but they aren't always all that compelling to me. sometimes they definitely are, but sometimes they just fall a bit flat to me. this probably isn't an issue with them as characters, though, just a matter of taste. i occasionally found the chemistry between them lacking as well, but sometimes it was really on point

same feeling about the crew dynamics in general. i looove a good like heist crew or spy agency crew, whatever it is, when the dynamics just click. and sometimes they didn't, here. i am too sleepy to articulate it properly right now but it just felt like there was something missing, some pieces not really fitting together. i didn't dislike any of the characters, but just... i guess wanted more team shenanigans? maybe there was no time for that but it would have been nice (like this is one show that could have done with a few filler and/or fluff episodes, imo!)

anyway. christ. my eye emoji-ing at tilt based solely on his character design finally paid off after two gay ass seasons lmao. good night

[lotus-pear]

omg he's doing the greatest showman thing🥺🥺 also rant under the cut so if you want to read my thoughts on him and how the plot of genshin will continue to implement him into the story, read on :)

i literally cannot be the only one who never saw childe the same way again after this scene because my man is literally fucking UNHINGED at this point, he is doing anything and everything to get that gnosis that his tsaritsa ordered, and willing to use every single card up his sleeve to make it happen

kill the traveler? fine. lose my life? okay. fight to the point where you're literally sprawled on the floor, struggling onto your knees gasping and exhausted and still trying to fight even though you know, he knows, that he will very well lose his life? that's what her majesty ordered me to do, and i will carry it out.

looking at it this way, the other harbingers never so much as mentioned the tsaritsa, and if they did it was only once to say they were sent on her orders.

perhaps childe is extremely loyal because he came to her with nothing, yet she still granted him his title and his immense powers.

we already know that childe will do anything to please his queen and is more than willing to sacrifice himself for her. hell, as soon as the traveler tries to interfere with her plans and stop him from retrieving the gnosis, he straight up challenged them to a duel to the death, even though the tsaritsa never asked for any of the harbingers to assassinate the traveler.

ANYWAY, what i'm getting from all of this is that childe may be more than the eleventh harbinger in this sense. after all, he was a major character in "farewell, archaic lord", and i think it's safe to assume we will definitely see more of him before chapter eleven, in snezhnaya. perhaps his loyalties to the tsaritsa, one of the main antagonists, will finally be factor thing that ends his life and removes him from the plot completely. maybe the other harbingers do away with him since he is the youngest and weakest of them all and the tsaritsa favors him so much.

or maybe it's the traveler that finally murders him because although they have the potential to be friends, childe cannot betray the one person who granted him everything over someone that he just met. the traveler's ulterior motive is to reunite with their only kin, and they wouldn't stop at anything to see their sibling once more. things may get violent in snezhnaya, and i can guarantee there will be a final fight with the cryo archon.

does childe decide to help the traveler and betray his queen? or does he stay loyal to her until the very end? only time will tell as the rest of the acts get released; all i pray is that hoyoverse doesn't do away with such a complex and beautiful character for the sake of the plot

[emletish-fish]

Frankly, I feel Amanda should've been way more conflicted about helping Tory. Like, she should be like, "Yes, these kids deserve better influences, but on the other hand, Tory here twice committed premeditated assault on my daughter and she's broken into our house".

(For Tory to be redeemed, and any sort of reconciliation to happen, she needs to learn to be empathetic to those she's hurt, and she needs to be shown acknowledging why her prior behavior was wrong)

It's a YMMV with the how people see the Mom-Triangle. If you found it unsatisfying, that's valid.

I also think the reason why everyone's mileage varies so much with the mom triangle will depend on whether people have a solution based outlook (what will solve the problem/get the best outcome is the priority) or a more punitive punishment orientated outlook (has the wrong-doer being punished sufficiently is the priority).

I unironically love it as a storyline. It was refreshing for me to see a female-centric storyline that was in many ways kinda removed from the karate drama and was instead focused on the relationships between women, and the role of a good female mentor/mother figure.

(I'm trying not to make too many predictions for season 5 aside from 'it will be batshit insane' BUT I think we will see Tory torn between two very opposing view-points, role-models and example of womanhood between Amanda and her new female sensei, (who in many ways will embody a potential cobra-kai embracing future that the old Tory would have aspired to. Whereas Amanda is presenting a much more compassionate example of adult womanhood and shows Tory that it is possible to be both powerful and peaceful).

I do think Amanda showed sufficient ambivalence towards Tory and some uncertainty about helping her during their second interaction at the dealership. It's implied that Amanda backed off helping Tory then and only resumed to do so after the girl approached her. During their third interaction, she is careful to give Tory space and only encourages her to seek help but makes no overtures of direct involvement until Tory asks.

I think, given the time-constraints, more time on Amanda not wanting to help Tory wouldn't have served much purpose.

Season 4 was an immensely crowded season, story-telling wise. With such limited time, I don't quite see what having Amanda pile on the Tory-sucks-train beyond their first two interactions would serve.

Because TV is a visual medium - so we already know that Tory has severe anger issues. We've seen her do unhinged things. We know that Tory is an angry and messed up kid in a terrible situation - so Amanda spending more time complaining about her misdeeds only be re-hashing what we already know, which isn't the best use of screen time.

Also, in the storyline, if Tory didn’t receive any help, there would be absolutely no driving narrative force for her changing her behaviour for the better.  Without Amanda;s intervention, then Tory would most likely continue feeling like the entire world was out to get her and lashing out accordingly.

Amanda meets Tory when she directly confronts her at work, taking full advantage of their power-imbalance and contributing to Tory getting fired. Yes - Tory gets herself fired by her angry outburst, (Tory having anger issues is well established), but Amanda can see she had a role to play in lighting the dynamite and feels contrition.

Amanda can choose to continue being shitty to a girl who already has an immensely hard life (that Amanda just made a whole lot harder) - but what would that ultimately serve the narrative? Seeing another adult bullying Tory/assert their power over her wasn't necessary for me. It's not something I would have found satisfying as a viewer.

We've already see Tory be sexually harrassed, propositioned and financially bullied by her landlord, fired without ceremony by her boss, and mocked cruelly about her dying mother by her aunt (her only living blood relation). We know money is extremely tight, her father is absent and her family had periods where they were starving and had food denied to them by cruel bosses (who also then fired her sick mother). It's implied she was sexually assaulted by an unknown adult male and had to physically defend herself.

(like enough already.)

As a viewer, I did not need to see another Adult mistreat Tory.

Tory has definitely made A LOT of mistakes. So Many. All the Mistakes. But when we look at her life, it's not hard to see why she's gained a 'It's a dog-eat-dog world' kind of cynicism and a layer of anger armour as she goes through life.

I actually think this direction, showing that Amanda also had violent anger issues but was able to work through them, is a much more positive one. Amanda is showing Tory here are other options aside from violence and compassion isn't weakness. She treats Tory gently, and considering how harsh Tory's life is, just being treated kindly by an adult without ulterior motive causes a huge change.

Tory's outlook completely shifts from 'No Mercy - there are no rules' to 'No. I won't cheat to win.'

What we didn't know at the start of the season is that Amanda had a rich history of Violent Teenage Rage and could see part of herself reflected in Tory's anger issues. Amanda identifies with Tory as a result. And she knew from experience the best way to break a pattern of violence and anger is with its opposite, kindness and understanding.

Rather than fighting fire with fire, Amanda chooses to try and take the heat down a notch.

Young!Amanda was treated with compassion and guidance, so she was able to grow past her anger. She's still feisty and assertive, but her rage no longer consumes or controls her.

Tory does not have anyone to show her this kind of compassion and guidance until Amanda comes along.

(For Tory to be redeemed, and any sort of reconciliation to happen, she needs to learn to be empathetic to those she's hurt, and she needs to be shown acknowledging why her prior behavior was wrong)

I don't think Tory needs to reconcile with Sam to be redeemed. Tory's attempts at being a better person should continue whether or not Sam eventually forgives her.

It would be great if the girls can eventually bury the hatchet, and Tory definitely should apologise to Sam at the very least - but I also don't think her 'redemption' should revolve around Sam.

You've said that Tory needs to learn empathy, but for me, considering absolutely no one in her life treats Tory with any sort of empathy, this will be a hard thing for her to learn on her own without any kind of lived experience or role models.

(This is not a dig at Tory's mom, who we've never even seen, but her illness has thrust the full weight of keeping a family of 3 running on her 16/17 year old daughter. Tory is responsible for earning rent money, preparing food, paying bills and supervising her brother. No matter how warm and loving their relationship, the physical reality of Tory's situation is unchanged).

But who else could teach Tory about morals and ethics and how to make amends and live a better life? Kreese? Her creepy and inappropriately sexual landlord? Her spiteful, greedy addicted aunt?

I will say that Tory suffers from very uneven writing, depending on what the writers want to do with her in that particular scene (eg her yoyo-ing concern about her family is very dependant on her proximity to Sam), and this can hurt her character arcs as she engages in some inexplicable dramatics for the sake of The Dramas!

However, showing that Tory will respond equally as emphatically to a positive role model in Amanda as she did to a negative role model in Kreese, is actually a really interesting step. Tory has an incredible amount of respect for Amanda and really takes onboard everything she says.

She isn't immediately a better person and she still makes bad choices, but overall, she shows that she is extremely receptive to Amanda and is beginning to absorb her world-view.

Learning the importance of conducting herself honourably in a fight was something Tory clearly learned from Amanda, (not Kreese or Silver). Amanda wanted BOTH girls to be able to move on and find peace and they were never going to be able to do that if Tory cheated (something she was later pressured directly to do by the other adult she respects the most).

It was easier for Tory to believe in the importance of fairness when she finally had a taste for it herself, when she wasn't broke and overburdened by the weight of caring for her family, when she didn't feel like there were no rules in life. Amanda helping her was instrumental in Tory growing. Finally getting a bit of sunlight helped her bloom.

Tory's life has been very unfair, and she's a poverty stricken and vulnerable young woman who easily embraced a 'no mercy' mindset because that was how she had always been treated, so this worldview slotted neatly into her lived experience.

Amanda showing her mercy caused her to re-evaluate her deeply held convictions. Tory's actions in the final prove that, at her core, Tory does want to be a better person and live a better life.

[dangermousie]

I’ve picked the reread of Mistakenly Saving the Villain as my comfort read, am on ch 2 and guuuh, it’s so good!

I have read a gazillion web novels by now, het and danmei, and Song Qingshi remains by far the most well-adjusted, sanest, common sense-filled web novel protagonist I have ever come across. I adore Yue Wuhuan’s compellingly fucked up self with his pride and horrific background and unhinged edge but SQS is the reason this novel makes my heart sing.

Hurt/comfort is my favorite ever set-up but unlike a lot of people in it for pure whump, the best part of that set-up for me is healing and finding happiness and this novel delivers that so in spades.

Also, due to the nature of the narrative, the amount of sensitive and triggering topics and potential narrative pitfalls is immense but it manages to avoid every single one without hitting a false note. Even secondary characters are treated as they should be (a storyline involving the novel’s supposed original protagonist is one of the highlights of the novel for me, tbh.)

Anyway, so excited to reread!

PS If you somehow weren’t around for my first read-through, a very brief and unspoilery summary would be modern medical student Song Qingshi, who died of ALS, wakes up in a world of a trashy danmei novel - his job (though it has been garbled by the System so not all the details are clear) is to rescue the novel’s mistreated protagonist shou. SQS, who was so busy studying that he knows zero about romance or novels or tropes or anything, instead rescues Yue Wuhuan, a minor character whose horrific fate was only there to make protagonist shou realize the perils of his situation, and the story goes from there. Yue Wuhuan is neither sweet, nor wholesome, nor shou, and is more fucked up physically and emotionally than can be imagined but...well.

Anyway, this novel is AMAZING!!!!

[terrence-silver]

I can see Terry’s and John’s training with Kim Sun-Yung in Korea just very much going the route of Pai Mei from Kill Bill; don’t know why. I think everything about it would be...very spartan, almost.

Like, yes, he trained Captain Turner years ago, but he is extremely exclusive who he trains, and the vetting process is immense and he certainly doesn’t train any unnecessary foreigners --- viewing it as a diluting of a respected and ancient cultural artform --- well, not unless they’re twice as worthy and twice as talented and twice as hardworking and twice as fierce as anyone else for him to even seriously consider it. Why does he have this standard? Purely because he can --- and so, before they’re even taught in the first place, John and Terry just go through an onslaught of tests and rigorous pre-preparation tasks that ensure that Kim Sun-Yung actually sees if these two have what it takes to learn under his school’s roof and he might just nit-pick them first for the sake of it and reject them a few times to see if they’re tenacious and devoted enough to keep returning. Does he want them to beg? Maybe. Is this something they really, truly want or is this just an adventure for them? The fact that their commanding officer used to be the now deceased Captain Turner doesn’t do much in way of their admission into the dojo, in fact, it might just make their case more difficult (Captain Turner did die and that’s a bit of a disappointment and a testament to his weakness and inadequacy) --- unhinged soldiers being shown deadly techniques is something Kim Sun-Yung might feel reluctant to do. Not without good cause and massive potential, that is. He very much wants to be impressed. GI’s on a break come here constantly, like it is a damn tourist parlour away from the battlefield and the Sensei doesn’t have any patience for it and he finds it disrespectful. This is hallowed place of tradition and learning, not a joint or a bar. That is something Terry and John learn. This is a brotherhood.

Their training might’ve been incredibly long.

The ultimatums huge.

The trial period is even longer. One of the pre-requisties involves them learning Korean. Sensei Kim Sun-Yung wants to be asked to teach them, politely, in Korean. Not English, even though he speaks it perfectly (and possibly chooses not to, again, because he can). No. A Korean art-form, in Korea, from a Korean master, demands a Korean request. And so they do just that, self-teaching themselves however best they can --- off of the street, if they must. Maybe he’s displeased with their pronunciation and grammar at first, so he sends them out, to learn some more --- better this time --- and return, instilling a sense of discipline in them. No half-assing it. Once they pass that test,  they’re instructed to hand-craft their own gear. A skillset they would’ve picked up from the war. Hand-sew their own Gi’s. Their own weapons. Acquire their own bandages, in the off chance they’re allowed to actually use any, instead of handling the pain. Whatever is requested of them ---- and take care of the same. They haven’t earned their stripes yet (and he is consciously twice as hard on them for being outsiders, yes), so they make their own equipment or get none at all --- it is that, or they train naked, like animals. This is a lifestyle, after all, in a hierarchy that is won, not given. More than just a style of combat. This demands dedication. Immersion. Sacrifice. Speaking the language the master speaks and eating the food the master eats (if he deems you deserving) and punching rocks until your knuckles bleed, and sleeping outside, on the ground, like a dog, if a lesson wasn’t learned properly --- exercising meticulously, from dusk ‘till down, and it involves pain. A lot of pain. And they haven’t even started their journey as actual students just yet. They’re still in the trial period. In fact, the trial period alone is a training all of its own. Think Mr. Miyagi’s wax on and wax off technique, but excessively cruel to the point of torture. But, once they’re in the dojo, accepted, they’re in for life. No turning back.

That is when the actual pain starts.

Even the pain is not something everyone is worthy of.

In fact, John and Terry earned this special right and they asked for it.

The request was granted.

[wri0thesley]

This is gonna sound so stupid, but the idea of a new La Squadra member who is book smart but a complete dumb ass at everything else gets to me. Like they can do math and have so many science/history facts and could probably recite Shakespeare by heart. But the moment you ask them when the last time they ate was they just blank out. They are fully capable at their assassin job, but they can't tell if the guys hate them or not because what are social cues. Like. I would love to see how the boys react to that type of a person. I don't know it that made sense at all.

under cut for length!

♡ Risotto honestly kind of gets this himself. He’s the kind of man who throws himself whole-heartedly into the one thing that he thinks needs to get one, at the expense of all of the other things - up to and including remembering to do things like eat. He’s not particularly good at social clues either; he kind of makes up for not knowing these things by being so tall and broad and intimidating, so people don’t tend to bother him. He still sometimes wonders, when the rest of La Squadra aren’t around, if his team actually like and respect him. They do, of course - but Risotto still feels like he’s wading through syrup around them. So he understands this new recruit better than some of the others do - although he’s a little baffled by their spouting of random facts when they get nervous. He’s much more likely to go all-over quiet than he is to ramble. 

♡ Formaggio likes to poke and needle at them, because he thinks it’s funny when people blow up. He reads social clues really easily; he’s a people person. But, as the ‘heart’ of the group, he’s good at watching out for when he might be pushing them too far. If he notices they haven’t eaten or haven’t slept in a while, he won’t go out of his way to cook for them or push them into bed - but he might offer a slice of the cold leftover pizza he’s eating, or move up on the sofa and say ‘hey, come and have a sit down, I’ve got a blanket!’. He wouldn’t like it if you pointed it out, but he’s actually surprisingly caring. 

♡ Illuso, like Formaggio, likes to poke and needle. Unlike Formaggio, he’s not quite as sweet about it - he may very well push you too far because he thinks it’s funny. He’s learnt social cues by watching people and he can tell when you’re uncomfortable or at your breaking point, and he’ll continue to push it just that little bit further until your eyes fill with tears. He tries to laugh it off as just normal team stuff; it’s actually just that he’s kind of an asshole. That being said, though, he’s actually very impressed by your intellect. Intelligence is something that he values in other people. You’ll know he trusts your smarts, at least, if he comes to you for help trying to crack some patterns or puzzles in a mark he’s working on. 

♡ Prosciutto is frustrated by you. You clearly have plenty of talent; your work as an assassin leaves a favourable impression on him. He appreciates people who are whip-smart and clever and subtle when it comes to the art of murder. He just doesn’t understand how you can be so bad at everything else. He tries to take charge of you, barking orders to remind you that you should eat and sleep and don’t forget to stretch before going out in case you end up in a fight! If he sees someone who has potential and is at risk of not using it to its fullest, he can’t help but want to make them be better. Congratulations; you’ve received a mentor in life skills and human rapport. Unfortunately, Prosciutto isn’t the most patient mentor to be saddled with--

♡ Pesci’s scared of most new recruits of La Squadra, and you’re no exception. He finds your intellect frightening and intimidating. Prosciutto never outright says that he doesn’t think Pesci is smart, but Pesci picks up that feeling from the raised eyebrows and sighs of the other members of La Squadra. Still. Pesci will make friendly overtures to you if he notices that you seem out of place in La Squadra - he remembers being the newbie all too well. He’ll listen to your facts and be dutifully impressed by your skills. Pesci wears his heart on his sleeve, at least, so you’ll know that he doesn’t hate you. If you can befriend him, he’s a loyal friend to have. 

♡ Melone at once has similar problems to you and very different ones. He tends to be overbearing; he doesn’t quite understand other people so he tries to be overtly friendly instead of pulling back, often making him come across as creepy and unhinged. Whether he is those things or not is up for interpretation - whichever it is, you’ll soon find that (like Pesci), he’ll be very friendly towards you and seemingly wear his appreciation for you on his sleeve. He’ll be even more friendly as he finds out that you’re good at your job, as he sees how clever you are. The two of you are very likely to find a common ground in facts and numbers and figures and debate, all of which Melone enjoys immensely. Surprisingly, he also cares about the mundane things like if you’ve gotten a good night’s sleep - that kind of biological process to do with the running of your body is of an especial interest to Melone! And woe betide you if you’re a good candidate for his Baby Face; you might not even understand what Melone is asking until it’s too late. 

♡ Ghiaccio is a very difficult case. He’s frustrated by people who he thinks do not act cleverly or intellectually - and you clearly have the capability for it, even if when it comes to social situations you falter. He tends to get very angry at you for exact same kind of stuff that he does himself. Only, where you’re shy at hold back for fear of offending someone or your teammates hating you, Ghiaccio is physically incapable of doing something such as ‘holding back’. Expect your relationship with him to run hot and cold, depending on what the current thing he’s steamed up about it - but when it’s running well, the two of you make an amazing team. 

♡ Sorbet and Gelato like to watch you trip up, because it’s funny. They don’t go out of their way to bother you too much, though - the two of them know that the way they are with other people is hardly what most people would call normal. If they have to work with you, they roll their eyes at one another and harshly correct you when you look about to make a social faux pas that’s going to cost them the target, but otherwise they’re very likely to let your existence peacefully happen. They’re glad that you’re a competent assassin, but they’re not the kind to throw out praise for no reason. They’re a little too concerned with one another to be too bothered about your little foibles. 

[mergeman]

For Mergeatrois

Not bad right. In most families I'd be considered a success. Not my family though, Im the freak. So I come from the royal pred family, my mom is one of the few female preds and anyone of her lineage can sire more females. Me, Im not a pred whatsoever, can't extend my jaw, can't engorge my cock, and can't shove anyone up my ass. My elder brother Richard (Dick) he's next in line to be the Supreme Alpha of the Preds.

The one thing that has kept me alive is that I can potentially have children that will carry on the family legacy. Otherwise my brother would have finished me off long ago.

Well enough background today is the day my brother will be formally presented to the community. Which to the outside world looks like a bodybuilder convention in balmy Palm Springs. I have to be very careful to stick close to my father as we wonder around the grounds, if I stray some pred might mistake me for prey and vore me.

My father resents my presence as Im a constant reminder that he produced a deficient royal.

More and more huge men started to surround my dad to congratulate him on my brothers ascension. All these hot bodies made me uncomfortable so I dipped into a hallway and immediately ran into him.

Even amongst preds I could tell he was special. He looked at me, took a breath and flared his nostrils as he inhaled my scent.

"Your something special " reverberated in his deep bass "not prey but no pred hormones ".

I began to realize just how helpless my situation was and that in a few moments I'd be dead. His piercing jade eyes held me in place as he put his enormous hand on my shoulder.

"I'm Adam and I can help you become more then you are"

No Shit. I thought I'm about to become this beasts next meal. He placed his other hand on my head and bent down till his face was even with mine.

"Im a Merger and if you want I could change your life forever".

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. I was literally in the presence of the pred version of the boogeyman. Mergers were supposed to be a myth or legend. They were the only creature capable of consuming a pred and they never leave any evidence. Now one was right in front of me.

"How would you like to be a new Merger?"

What the hell was he talking about 'new merger'. My body was trembling so much that I felt I was causing a mini earthquake.

He continued with a voice that sent shivers down my spine "Boy you are special, the one thing a Merger can't do is have children, but we can share our gift with those preds who cannot vore".

My head snapped in surprise and my whole body became still as I looked at the Adonis in front of me and uttered the single word:

"How"

The smile that lit up Adams face was like the sun emerging from the clouds. He took a small knife that had been concealed in his pants and knicked his forarm. Crimson blood started to well up and change into a slivery substance that looked to be the same consistency as cum.

"Drink"

I leaned over and tentatively placed my mouth around the wound. I extended my tongue to taste it. The flavour was indescribable, it was as if ambrosia and nectar were orgasming. I clamped my mouth to his muscular arm and began to suckle in earnest. I could feel the liquid as it entered my body, down the throat and into the stomach where it was being filtered into my blood and dispersed to every cell.

Adam pulled his arm away and I was left standing there mouth open wanting more. My body started to vibrate as each cell was subtlety changed. I was distinctly aware of how every part of my body was connected together.

"Look at me"

I tilted my head towards that voice the felt like thunder.

"You now have the gift of merging, each merger is slightly different though one constent is that whoever you take reality will warp around you to be a new person". "I'll let you figure out the rest but I suggest finding someone soon". "Good luck."

He then turned around and exited the hallway. I checked my watch and discovered it had only been 3 minutes. If I didn't feel the rush of power coursing throughout me I would have thought it was a daydream.

The door opened and the silhouette of my father filled the opening. He just shook his head and motioned for me to follow him. I wanted to reach out and test my new abilities on him. I hesitated something inside told me that he was not the one. So I just retreated to my father's immense shadow and walked behind him towards the stage.

On the stage was Richard basking in the admiration of his brothers in vore. I could only stare. He was My prey. I scurried pass my father and before anyone could stop me I threw myself at my brother and gave him a hug. As soon as my skin touched his the process began. My form started to melt and turn silver and I used my new liquid body to cover every crevice of my brother. I was vaguely aware of the panic in the crowd as 'merger' was shouted. I was more focused on my victim. He had unhinged his jaw and was trying to vore me but it was to late. I was now the apex predator and he was mine to enjoy.

The liquid I was composed of began to turn acidic and eat away at Richard until there was nothing left. When the last bit of him became me, my gelatinous body began to glow and reform. I was not who I once was. I was still me but I was also Richard. I could feel his confidence and entitlement seep into my personality as new memories began to emerge. I fought. I didnt want to be a stranger I wanted to be.

I awoke on the stage. Reality was still warping around me. My father was coming towards me as the last ripples radiated out. Now he was my older brother and I had a pair of twin neices he was introducing as the next Alphas. I excused myself rushed to the restroom to find a mirror. I was older, more muscular, my entire being screamed confidenc. On the inside I was still me but a better version of myself.