#having been a child myself once
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i read about this story when it first came out, hours after the incident on the live updates page
the instagram post doesn't cover it, but she had an elder sister, layan, 15 years old who survived with her at first, and was on the phone with a red crescent operator as they were flanked, stuck in the car between tanks.
she's not mentioned as missing in this post because she was gunned down while on call. the recording is available online, and i don't know if her screaming or her screaming stopping suddenly was worse.
her 6/7 year old sister, now the only survivor, was on the phone with the operator for 3 hours, constantly asking to be taken away because she was scared. (I'm not sure why this article says she's 4, all other sources I've seen have mentioned her as 6 or 7.)
I've seen some genuinely fucking horrible things about this story from people who don't even want to believe the war is real. i hope she is alive, at peace, and in safety with the red crescent team that was dispatched to her.
her mother and grandmother are at a gazan hospital, waiting for her. they've conducted interviews.
“She is a little girl, her only dream is to be a doctor and treat people.”
The girl’s grandmother, Hind Hamada, said she was “hopeful” that her granddaughter would be returned “without delay.”
She said Hind had called them from the car saying, “Come and get me, I want to go home, and I want my family.”
“We want to take Hind to a hospital to treat her because she was injured,” the grandmother said.
Although the family hope that the PRCS rescue crew are taking “care of her” daughter, they couldn’t say so with any certainty.
“Every time I hear the sound of an ambulance, I go to the door and think my daughter is coming,” Hind’s mother Wissam told CNN.
“Every time I hear the sound of any strike, any shell, or a bullet my heart hurts because I think of this bullet being so close to my daughter. Any hit, I feel it’s coming to my daughter.”
the prcs frontline responders, volunteers, are donating their own blood to help patients due to lack of medical resources and equipment to store the blood needed for transfusions properly.
if you will not believe in the war, if you will not support those in need, if you don't even care, just... don't make it worse, at least. seeing those horrible things said about people actively being shot at and bombed — is this how far we've come?
maybe no one was in the right, but no one deserves to die like this too.
They moved heaven and earth for five dead billionaires. Not a sound for children under mortal danger.
Where is Hind?
#war tw#honestly idk how to tag this gomen#elize.txt#death tw#?#i am trying im so sorry if i missed something big#don't give my opinion much bc im used to getting it misconstrued#then people start yelling at me over it or whatever#but... really man#i hope they find her#even if someone sees what i say and starts to doxx me or send me death threats and shit again#if more people can hear about this and spread the word#i hope someone can find her#please give her peace#I've read so much about child psychology for more than 10 years#and#yknow#having been a child myself once#at that age#shit like that sticks with you#if she survives#she'll remember this for the rest of her life#i hope for her peace#and her safety#and for her strength so she will get over this
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good old times
#invincible#invincible show#invincible fanart#mark grayson#nolan grayson#debbie grayson#fan art#artists on tumblr#digital art#sketch#doodle#my art#i headcanon that mark was THE ugliest baby ever and nolan's immediate reaction to seeing mark was the most disgusted 'ew' of all time#mainly bc i think it would be the funniest thing ever actually#then he gets attached and is like 'how did this happen. he is so ugly'#nolan grayson: mark may be an ugly baby. but he is MY ugly baby#sorry i have actual deep thoughts about this show but i have to meme on it or else it becomes a little too depressing#nolan being clueless about kids. esp human kids is another hc#humans are so fragile so i must bundle my part human child in winter clothes in the middle of spring <- nolan's thought process#debbie thinks it's cute#making myself depressed knowing how this family turns out#whatever nolan wins the most divorced man award. i need debbie to explode him#what could have been scenarios always get me because like. what if nolan stopped being constipated and had a rational thought for once#if he was able to see how insane the viltrumite way of life was and was able to properly cope with breaking away from it...
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"Anyone can find happiness. That's the world we're striving for!"
#kamen rider#kamen rider geats#jyamato awaking#michinaga azuma#haruki usagami#fanart#artists on tumblr#comics#kr geats#the more I think about this movie the more I think it was specifically made to cater my needs of a decade ago#because listen— perhaps my weakest spot in fiction is family drama and most of my fav chars have some siblinghood#especially if one of the siblings is a child with unknown powers that needs to be saved or sth like that#but michi managed to become my fav geats char (and so far i daresay my fav rider overall) without any family mention#his first impression was super strong tho and i tend to cling onto those — i'll give him that#while right behind him I have keiwa and sara — which if you ask me i identify myself a lot on sara#then the master micchi special gives 5 secs of family drama onto him aND THEN WE HAVE THIS MOVIE#ENTIRELY CENTERED IN THIS JYAMATO CHILD DOOMED TO BECOME THE DESTROYER OF FUTURE#THAT CULMINATES ON THE JYAMASTAINED HUMAN PROMISING TO TAKE CARE OF THE JYAMAORPHAN#I just didn't cry bc i was on call w my friend thanking foxjesus for giving the banquet i've been starving for#some minutes before the hug scene i was like "PLEASE GEATS LET MICHI HUG THE KID I KNOW I'VE BEEN ASKING YOU A LOT BUT JUST THIS ONCE#and i mention my needs of a decade ago bc of my ygo zexal times when i used to siblingship haruto and mizael EXACTLY LIKE THAT!!!!#LOOK IF IT ISNT MY FAV CHAR STARTING WITH 'MI' AND AN ENEMY FACTION POWERED 'HARU' CHILD
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thinking about the way billy smiled when he saw that it was steve outside the byers and how quickly it all changed when he realised steve was lying to his face
#billy hargrove#billy: :)#steve: were you dropped too much as a child#dislike steve for a lot of things but that’s at the top of my list#all the times billy’s been lied to im going to kill myself#his mom neil max#and now steve#ripping my hair out i genuinely hate it here so much#i just wanted him to be happy for once#to be able to have a genuine connection with someone
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This might be my asexualness speaking but simply putting your faces together, nuzzling, and quick pecks on cheeks/forehead/nose/etc. will ALWAYS be more loving/intimate than kissing on the lips.
To me, those "smaller" acts of affection are more intimate as it's simply a physical reminder of "Hey, I care about you" and/or "I love being close to you".
I've seen so many people make out just to make out even with folks they don't know (Good for them! I do not care what others do as long as everybody involved is okay!) and I think for Allos, the act of kissing each other's lips is a way to gain physical "pleasure" as well as there are a lot of nerves on the lips.
But lil kisses elsewhere? Your skin isn't touching their skin enough to GAIN any pleasure for yourself other than a happy "I'm just letting you know I care" sorta thing you know? And if it is prolonged nuzzling/closeness, it's still just very "soft". You're doing a small physical act of affection for THEM. And idk I just really love that. Little reminders of love for THEIR sake, you know?
#btw the little kisses/nuzzles is any relationship btw. I just know most folks usually only kiss lips for romantic/sexual purposes#parent kissing child's forehead. sibling kissing sibling's cheeks. lover kissing lover's palm. etc. ANY relationship.#I hope this makes sense T.T#I'm also someone who's pretty grossed out by saliva🤢#I would not consider myself aromantic so maybe that's also something that should be considered?? idk???#I'm writing right now and small affections have always been more loving to me so yee#asexual#ace#romance#???#idk how to tag this for once in my life lol#Mad rambles#writing#lgbtqia#essay
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Actually, on the topic of the baby fever. God it's so frustrating. Bc when I was like 14 ish I was Adamant that I never ever wanted kids. And my dad said smth around the lines of "that'll likely change" (probably from his own experience with this) and I was like NO. it WONT.
And then eventually, age 21-22 ish, I admitted that Okay, I still don't want to have my own kids, but someday maybe I'll adopt...
And Now, 27 years old, I got the general baby fever on occasion. It Did fucking change. And I don't know if I actually WILL bother with having my own kid (I still don't want to go through the hassle and massive body changes). But god. I do see a fucking baby and feel that stab of longing. It's almost like my damned hormones betrayed me or smth. Maddening!
I shall simply write fanfic about it.
#speculation nation#pregnancy ment/#honestly though i hadnt felt the wish to have my own until after my dad died#and i realized just how small our family is getting. and just felt this stab of NEED. to continue the line. continue the family.#my family's fucking dying around me i need to add to it. need more family. yknow?#so i dont actually know if this is. because of hormones or because of grief or What#but it was enough for me to put the hysterectomy idea on hold. bc id been genuinely considering it back in like. april? or so.#but then this happened and now im like. fuck dude. i dont know. but the uncertainty's enough to keep me from doing it.#yeah i dont wanna deal with periods anymore. but also. i need more time to decide.#i think no matter what i do want to raise kids someday. once im more stable (financially and emotionally)#but whether thats adoption or putting myself thru fuckin body torture. well i'll just have to decide. later.#maybe the deciding factor will be my own body aging lol. if i wait too long. my body will decide for me. who knows!#i Have thought about what id do if i got accidentally pregnant. especially relevant back when i was sleeping with a trans woman#and used to be id abort no hesitation. but well. i mean abortions illegal here anyways rn so id have to go to another state#but if i decided it i could make it work. it's not That far of a trip.#but. when i thought about it. the concern was less about the theoretical baby. and more about finishing school.#thinking 'man itd be fucking awful to finish school if i got pregnant right now'. but not. hesitating over the baby.#if i was out of school and relatively stable and i got accidentally pregnant. then. well. Maybe.#so me doing my dad vash au where he gets accidentally pregnant and goes all in with it#thats me. sorting out my feelings on it i guess. putting them somewhere.#idk. it's a lot to think about. i dont want to condemn a child to my genetic problems. but at the same time...#i dont know. To Be Decided Later.
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Conversations with another, smaller, weaker self.
#Textual.#ART TAG#vent#I suppose that's the best way to explain this one? It can be complicated. Very complicated. Both for Lord & for myself.#How do you explain to the younger weaker self— the child —that it wasn't their fault. How do you explain that people care & you're sorry?#Because it isn't your fault. It can't be hers. It was someone else's duty to keep you both safe. But they cut your hair & took your body—#& then they made you unrecognizable to anything that has ever existed.#You were a person once & they took the culture out of your blood to remake history. They took the language out & taught you something else.#Lord is a power fantasy as much as she is a painful catharsis. In another world she might have been a savior or a god. But she is angry.#She's angry & bitter & they cut her ears to round them out after cutting her open to make her human. How can she apologize for that?#lord starque#champagne starque#chinuk wawa#To translate loosely. ' 'I am so tired.' ' Who wouldn't be?
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Hey guys I know most of y'all are in a different time zone to me but im gonna be spending a lot of time in an airport today (I hate airports*) so if anyone wants to send asks or drabble prompts I would greatly appreciate the distraction!
*also known as: Sensory Hell
#despite the fact I have been flying places since I was a baby my anxiety about airports seems to be worse now than ever#but i like being in planes#once im in a plane its chill its like a train you just sit there#but airports? NAH#also i have been flying by myself since like 8 (until 13 you get accompanied by a staff member) cause ~child of divorce~#but at the ripe age of 26 im more anxious qnd unsure about making my way through an airport than i was as a teen💀#tkluts#twenty thousand leagues under the sea#pierre aronnax#captain nemo#20000 leagues under the sea#aronnemo#nemonnax#my ocean ramblings#Conseil
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had another weird-ass dream last night and since this apparently a pattern now, there was a new rob design in it.
so it is with great honor that i now present to you all…
“robsune miku”
(my boyfriend wanted miku to be saying this lol)
he (she?) actually called himself (herself??) that in the dream. no idea how my brain came up with that or why “robsune miku” was half dragon but okay. cool. thanks brain.
she (i’m just gonna say she cuz its miku) was actually pretty cool in the dream. i think i had to fight her at some point and she became fully dragon halfway through the fight. it was super kickass and i think she killed me
drawing this also reminded me of how much i like miku! what a marvel of engineering! how far we've come since the IBM 7094! and how poetic is it that when setting out to make a digital person, humanity first gave it a voice!
#speaking of the IBM 7094 i think people are way too mean to it!#“oh it sounds so creepy blah blah blah”#thats miku's grandpa! show some respect!#it as THE FIRST computer to sing! ever! it's programmers poured countless hours into it's creation!#hearing it speak for the first time must have been like hearing the first words of a child!#i WISH i could have been there to hear it myself! but alas. it was 1961 and i didn't exist yet#anyway this is the fifth time now that a weird rob design has come to me the form of a dream#once again any weird details or inconsistencies are a byproduct of me pulling everything straight out of my head#and slapping it right on a canvas regardless of whether or not it made sense#for a while i couldn't remember if her skin was still blue or not cuz would've clashed with the blue hair but then it hit me like a rocket:#PINK HAIR MIKU!!!#so i drew that :3#the amazing world of gumball#tawog#rob tawog#tawog rob#rob wrecker#hatsune miku#miku#vocaloid miku#miku fanart#miku hatsune#vocaloid#my art
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It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care
#vent ig#i wish i could#but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i#wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the#short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent#but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar#and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie#we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant#the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and#'im not even remotely interested by any of you'#its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT#NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up#on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.)#anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point)#am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as#a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened#i hate feeling apathetic#and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them#cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life
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Completely outside of my usual drawing niche, but yesterday I was talking to my sister and she showed me an old drawing I made for her in 2021 that I had deleted and completely forgot about. There was a period of time when my sister was absolutely OBSESSED with Wings of Fire, so I drew a humanisation (I can barely draw humans, man, I would actually combust if asked to draw a dragon) of a pre-canon younger version of one of her favourite characters, Peril, who I also have a soft spot for because, you guessed it, I found a way to link her to my main obsession :’) And when I saw that old piece, I just knew I had to redraw it
+ The original, low quality bc I screenshotted my sister filming her tablet screen over video call, under the cut to save myself some embarrassment 😅
#my art#artists on tumblr#wings of fire#wof fanart#wings of fire peril#peril wof#peril fanart#idk how to tag this I’m gonna be honest#if you’re wondering what the aforementioned link to my obsession is#it’s that peril is INCREDIBLY p’li coded. THE VIBES ARE OFF THE CHARTS#someone born with a rare and dangerous fire related ability raised to be a living weapon?#falling in love with the one person (dragon) who doesn’t see her as a monster and believes she can get better??#I cannot be the only one who’s seeing this istg#anyway#I’ve never read a single WoF book but my sister infodumped about it nonstop for years so I have plenty of random knowledge#sometimes I find myself singing the dragonet song as I’m doing something lmao#I once wanted to do a whole project where I drew every female character as a human…#didn’t get much further than this piece and deleted everything else I had#rip WoF humanisation#we hardly knew ya#might go back to it if I’m ever bored though. I still have all my notes#but for now. look at this precious baby child 🥺🥺🥺#also. yes. it’s been quite a few years and I still haven’t aged out of the habit of writing a character’s name in glow pen#and doing that squiggly underlining thing#you can pull that out if my cold dead hands 😁#let’s see if drawing for a slightly larger fandom will get me more reach than my impossibly niche LoK oc shenanigans
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of course the night i need to get to bed at a reasonable hour bc i have a early rise is ruined by my own brain working me up into a complete meltdown 😵💫 i am a prisoner to myselfffff
#i feel so so bad. tbh#tw for child abuse but i need to vent#i was watching a rlly good doc series on behavioral schools for teens which are pretty horrific and even though i never went through#anything like that. but just hearing the subjects from the doc talk about how they feel ruined after being destroyed like that as kids just#has me really emotional and i cant stop thinking about it bc i feel the same way i feel like ill never be who i could have or should have#been but what i went through just ruined me and ill never be okay i just feel fragile and mournful of myself i know nothing could have#saved me like its some big cosmic joke on me. and i never did anything to deserve that#no kid does amd yet it fucking happens and it happened to me witj zero repercussions which is almost what hurts the most#i just feel like a goddamn blubbering mess with a knawing black pit in my heart and i am never going to get to sleep at this point.#fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk i just for once would like to feel okay about my past and my future like is this the me that ill always be?#broken and blubbering? fuck it feels awful. anyway. prob delete later but i just needed it off my chest#h
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me and the generic extra strong Tylenol and the pure rage in my system
#Every once in a while I think. It’s not too bad home. I’m over dramatic. It’s not bad and it won’t be bad when I go home and never been bad#Then actually think and remember#I shouldn’t have been hit as a small child. I thank god that my parents stopped that with me.#But also. I should have been taken seriously when I went To them with concerns and shouldn’t have been brushed off.#But also to be a 14 something year old and to realize your parents aren’t in love is a crushing feeling#Since that must have been when. 13-14. Appa passed. Pandemic times. I’m sure my father. Since this would have been the last time I saw Appa#We went down to visit. Dad didn’t go he had work. He sent us off. I remember sitting in the passenger seat by mom in driver#Dad praying for our safe travel and for him going in for a kiss and the moment of hesitation and unwant from my mother#And the awkward silence and the way everything seemed to just shift to the side#That was summer of 2019. My first time realizing my parents weren’t both in love happened when I was 13-14.#I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.#And going to college has me feeling so guilty. Like I fucking ditched my siblings? The kids I raised as a child myself?#(I had to go. I don’t know if my scholarship would have held I don’t know if my financial aid would have held. I couldn’t have waited. )#(I would have likely done something bad to myself. Genuinely. If I weren’t able to be here. If I had to stay. I wouldn’t survive that.)#my siblings are fine. They have no responsibilities. My sister is manipulative. They will manage. They want me to get the education I need#They aren’t going to have to use their own college money to pay to be able to eat because the parents won’t feed them for the summer#I went into college with at least a couple hundred less than I should have. Because I had to parent. I had to feed my siblings.#And I had to pay to fill the gas tank on my father’s gas eater truck. We couldn’t be home because of the selling home situation.#I had to do something to get us out and to feed us but I didn’t get paid back for anywhere near all of it#I don’t regret it. But a kid shouldn’t have to pay for them and their siblings to live.#But then I remember the dread I have for returning ‘home’ for the breaks. I don’t know what I’m going to do.#If I can’t work all of the breaks then I either won’t be able to pay next semester#Or I’ll have almost no money in savings. Like nothing to my name. Can’t buy gas. Can’t do anything. Can’t buy food.#Unless the next scholarship stuff I’m doing pulls through. But I’m willing to work the whole break just to get away from either house.#I want to violently shake my parents and get them to comprehend#Father you have dropped 260$ into my bank account in the last two weeks. Why could this not be earlier in the semester.#Why couldn’t that be in the time and fashion you FUCKING PROMISED for helping me pay my schooling?#You have money to spare. Stupid. Why couldn’t you help like you promised.#Mom you fucker. I get that you are kinda with a new man now. But you’re leading yourself into a relationship with a man you said yourself#You don’t want to date because he wants to move away with his sister and because he hates it here
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as i've made it increasingly clear with my therapist i am completely unaware of how to categorize my feelings. i can recognize them fairly adequately but most of the time it is as though they are not there. and sometimes i feel like i am only putting on a show of emotion because i am "supposed to". even when i am brought to tears by something that disturbs me (which is not very often and becoming even less so) i do not "feel" anything but the knots in my throat and the dampness of my face. often i think i should go have a look in the mirror instead.
#random thoughts#i used to cry as a child when my parents were fighting. my younger brother attempted to rationalize the situation.#and i simply languished in the hallways watching them. or the mirror. watching myself cry there.#and once i nearly called the police on them but that was the only time i ever did anything. i threatened my parents. both of them.#if you don't stop screaming at each other i'm going to call the police on you!!!!!!!#i don't think that responsibility should have been left to a child of my age. much less to my younger brother. so rational.#it is depressing to think about almost..
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i love studying childbirth because it just reaffirms my resolve to never ever do that ever ever ever
#PUTTING ASIDE the fact that the idea of being somebody's “wife” or even worse.. “mother” makes me feel physically nauseous#the physiological changes are really something to behold. like it's obvious but then it gets so much worse the more you learn#i think im doing everyone and myself a favour because there is no way in hell i'd be a good parent. and also what's the point of carrying#some man's child if he IS inevitably going to leave me/us. like hellooooo#(aside: BEAR WITH MY TRAUMATIZED ASS FOR A MINUTE!!! LET ME VENT MY DISILLUSIONMENT)#no like LMFAO i aint putting myself and another hypothetical life form through 1) the inevitable bloody divorce#2) MY assured parental incompetence 3) DO I REALLY WANT TO CONTINUE THIS FUCKING CYCLE.#i will be the one to break this shitty cycle but not in the way my family expects!! CAN'T LOSE THE GAME IF YOU NEVER PLAY#it all boils down to 1) i have no faith in men and 2) i have faith in MYSELF that i will be better off.. not doing all that business#and honestly? i have made my peace with it all#more or less. okay sure every once in a while it makes me white knuckle empty air (symbolizing of course the “what could have been”) BUT#it's a real difficult choice that is ultimately For The Best. bless 🫶
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have y’all seen that tweet that’s like “i’m probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn.” that is so heavily kakyoin coded
#/ tbd#i don’t mean to insinuate that nonbinary people over 40 don’t exist because ofc they do and i know some of them lol#but i will say that if kak had been born 10-20 years later he would definitely identify that way jdhshehdvdn and that’s just bc#growing up in the 70s-80s in japan there just was not a lot of information available about gender diversity and kak was already#going thru it realizing he is gay and like. while he was never ashamed of being gay it was def smth he didn’t like#openly talk about until he was in his 20s & just stopped giving a fuck#and once he learned about nonbinary people he was kind of misguided in thinking like . oh that’s only for people who#have dysphoria/don’t identify with their assigned gender at all#like he probably didn’t realize it’s actually a spectrum until he was already married and had a child and a stable career#and by that point he was just like idk whatever JTHSHSVSVSDWFWGQS#being nonbinary myself and not really realizing it until i was already in my mid twenties and also working in education#i’m kind of in the same boat in that like . i kind of just let people misgender me because it’s just too much work to frequently defend#my identity and also i’m like not super mad when people she/her or ‘miss’ me even though it does make me a lil uncomfortable lol#ultimately my portrayal of kak is a cis man and identifies as one but like . also he might be nonbinary actually . idk it’s hard to explain
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