#having a really sad night
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#having a really sad night#and feeling very very alone#i need help i can't get#i need to feel like a person again#mistakes get made and people are unhelpful and nothing goes the way it should#not even the simplest fucking things#and im so tired of it all#one person making one mistake isn't enough reason to yell at them#20 different people making one mistake each is enough to make me want to scream#like that will legit fuck up your life
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one of my favourite little things about the murderbot diaries is how present all secunit's friends are even if they're not actually physically present. it doesn't do the annoying thing where it jumps through hoops to bring back characters that aren't really relevant to the narrative but it also doesn't do the other annoying thing where it pretends they never existed either. like secunit talks about art and mensah all the time even when art or mensah aren't in the book. it's clear how bharadwaj has impacted its personal growth even when she's literally on another planet. it complains about gurathin and pin-lee when they're not there. it's still sad about miki and don abene and it mentions tapan and maro and rami even though it only knew them for a few days (because when you're new at being a person every interaction with other people is important even if it's short). iris reminds it of mensah. iris also reminds it of ratthi. its hair is fluffy bc it let amena play hairdresser off-screen and it messages her so she knows it's okay. it doesn't have to worry about protecting volescu anymore because volescu retired thank goodness. it's still using thiago's language module. etc etc etc
it's such good writing because it's such a little thing that gives the characterization and relationships greater depth and also reinforces the running theme of friendship in the series and then also subtly gives this sense of 'the people you love are a part of you/your story' and also reinforces secunit's role as a storyteller because it's constantly telling little stories about all its friends.
#theyre good books brent#murderbot#dont mind me apparently when i have an evening nap and no work the next day#i stay up late possessed by a spirit of literary analysis.#oh hell im probably going to have another super nerdy literary dream tonight ffs.#the fact that this has happened multiple times is both sad and embarassing. i know we should all just be ourselves and embrace the cringe#but dreaming about literary analysis is really going too far i think.#if youve read all these tags you should also read the murderbot diaries. thank you and good night.
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Curtwen Week Day 4: Haunted
#fuck yall I really wasn’t sure about this last night but looking at it now I think it’s grown on me#I tried going for a 1960s comic book look#because I really like the vibes of old comics#they’re very cool#honestly this came out very different from what I had planned originally#but then I had this idea and ran with it#also I made the executive decision of doing long hair Curt because A) It’s my drawing and I can do what I want and B) I love the idea that#curt had the long hair like in SAD post fall#whoever originally had that idea is a genius- I wish I could remember who it was#but yeah I love doing stylized stuff like this#I don’t do it as often as I want to#I have another saf idea similar to this that I’ve had on the back burner that I might do soon ish#i suppose we’ll see#I’m not making any promises#but yeah this one is a bit different from the drawings for the other three days#I got a bit of reprieve from all the rendering I’ve been doing#fun fact: palm trees are technically a type of grass#because it doesn’t have bark and it doesn’t have rings to tell how old it is#curtwen week#Curtwen week 2024#Curtwen#spies are forever#tin can bros#tin can brothers#agent Curt mega#curt mega#owen carvour#Joey richter#my art#cw guns
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#personal tag#literally last night i was already saying that im exasperated on seeing comments like these lmao#i think i'll just avoid tumblr for now and take a break unless another trailer is posted i have gifs done for arctober anyway#ik the answer is to avoid or ignore seeing them but sometimes u still see it in the activity tab and i know theres way more positive and#nice things that everyone says and i love you guys sm <3 <3 <3 but also goddamn the negative comments can sting lmao#i really love the show man.... seeing ppl shit on it in my edits make me sad
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#i just....i am sorry...#something happened and yeah... >_<#pls everyone#take care (: and have a lovely day/night :3#TW: spoiler#kinda...not really#urgh#this is just sad#what have i done here?!!?!?!?#fanart#aot fanart#levi fanart#kuchel ackerman
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today i offer you prompts 11-20 for isat month!! ignore your calendar THANKYUUUU <3
#isatmonth#isat#isat siffrin#in stars and time#isat loop#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat sadness#isat change god#isat spoilers#two hats spoilers#technically#is-at all the tags????? idk im tired!!#id in alt hope it makes sense im sorry in advanced!!#eyestrain#potentially#*looking at horizon DRAMATICALLY* i am no longer the person i was before i started this piece... (i hurty my hand </3)#maiora draws#today on: drawings that made my graphic design buddy really mad at me <3#i have developed so much beef with the favor tree while drawing this#i would fight the shit out of this fictional tree#and i would LOSE but whatever <3<3<3#i have so many nitpicks over this image but its OKAY its FINISHED now im FREE!! IM RUNNING AWAY#BUHbye have a nice day or night or whatever your hair looks amazing ok ciaociaoOOOOOO!!!!!!!
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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A Whumper with fire powers branding their Whumpee not just with their name or initials, but their handprints.
Two palms scarred against either side of Whumpee’s neck, fingers wrapping around their throat in a collar that can never be removed. Hands on their sides, just below their broken ribs, a touch that will never relent. Fingers wrapped around their wrists in shackles that won’t be unlocked. A handprint against their face, cupping their cheek that had already suffered so many punches. The small of their back. A single hand just between their shoulder blades. Dragging down their thighs.
Just. Branded handprints.
#this was what I dreamed about last night and I’m sad I woke up#if I do write that demon story (though I’m thinking more about it—I don’t really want to tie it in with religion#but like how else would I be able to have a demon set up? so maybe I’ll change the ideas a little bit. or I could just never give backstory#on anything and it won’t be a problem lmao) I’m definitely going to include this#whump#whumpblr#whump community#whump writing#its me coal#coal wrote something#whumpee#whumper#whump prompt#whump prompts#whump trope#whump tropes#whump ideas#whump idea#whump cw#whump inspo#whump inspiration#whump concept#demon whumper#villain whumper#pet whump#pet whumpee#whump dream#writing prompts#writing prompt
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haunting the narrative -> haunted by the narrative -> haunting the narrative -> haunted by
#adventure time#fionna and cake#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#fan art#fanart#art#digital art#my art#just a lil something something i did for fun#adventure time has always been the show that makes me want to draw (i have SO many AT drawings from 2015 it's ridiculous)#but now I'm coming back to that ye olde passion with new digital art skills and many more evil tragic thoughts (thank you fionna and cake🙏)#i couldn't get the thought about them haunting and be haunted by the narrative out of my head so I had to make some art for it#the caption for this was almost: so who wears the haunted by the narrative in the relationship?#they take turns of course because damn these guys really do be having that tragic romance huh. hot potato cursed existence#never quite on the same wavelength. always out of reach. their love the very thing that dooms them to be apart. a love defined by absences#like two ships in the night passing each other by. except they keep trying to seek the other out. and so end up going in circles#the tragic dance of madness and sadness. lead on and i shall follow. ....so anyway...these two amiright?#/might/ have to write something at some point...maybe...#because like... ghosts are my thing. and these two...well. even when they aren't haunting the narrative they are still ghosts#never let themselves live in the present and okay I'm going to stop now. enjoy the art byeeeee#...AND they'll never be at peace because they'll always be reaching for a version of each other that no longer exists and—#(i am dragged kicking and screaming from the room before i can devolve into a full blown meta)
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i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.
#ramble#i think knowing that he was awful and that it wasn't my fault should make all the sad go away actually#i'm in such a weird fragile state right now that last night i looked at my flip flops that are still covered in mud#and i just started crying bc last weekend he carried me over the mud so they wouldn't get ruined. KNOWING he was going to do this to me#sorry i try really hard not to overshare but i don't want to keep bothering anyone in my actual life about this and idk what to do#when it happened it didn't hurt this badly and i just assumed i would be fine#idk i think it's just sunk in how much of my future i don't have anymore and that's like#a bit scary#because i was Just calming down and thinking maybe i would be ok in the long term and now it's all gone#i'm in that weird place between desperately wanting him back and plotting where to bury the body parts#i'm also mad bc i wish he'd left me before the festival. there were SO many gorgeous metalhead trans girls that i could've kissed
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Posting this to get the motivation to finish it 👏👏
#yamato#one piece#one piece yamato#yamato fanart#one piece fanart#fanart#art#digital art#fan art#digital artist#artist#I have to finish this to turn this into a print asap#but every night I get sad and I don't really want to work on anything#but!!#he's so cool#look at him!!
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Kingdom Hearts 3 - Arendelle
#kingdom hearts 3#kh3#arendelle#scenery#my gif#it's nighttime when you first arrive in this world and you get to see the auroras shimmering in the sky#it's very beautiful but once you reach a certain point in the game it becomes daytime and you're not able to view this world at night again#that's pretty unique and i can't think of any other worlds that are like that#except maybe the kingdom of corona when you see the lanterns fly at night but that's just for a short segment#at least san fransokyo gives you a choice to view the city during night or day#anyways i'm glad i had an older save file that i was able to return back to so i could get shots of this world at night#i would have included elsa's castle but every angle i tried looked really awkward and bad lol#i don't use mods when collecting footage so some things are out of my hands when trying to get a nice shot#how sad is it that the interior of her castle is fully modeled (you can see right through the front doors) but you can't go inside#all of the characters stand in a line outside the castle and i wonder why they couldn't just hang out indoors#let me in. let me innnnnn
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all motivational speakers should do the motivational thing and kill themselves
#home cooked hijinks#“successful students were crying themselves to sleep at night. and the reason for THAT is because they don't have a C.O.M.P.S” no jared.#jared the reason for that is because i have 5 assessments in the next two days and the world is going to shit and i have 1000 homework#“getting into a good university doesnt really matter to employers” jared i think you may be a bitch ass liar#“just make friends. that makes you less sad” jared you were grown in a vat and never went to high school !!
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If you were to like redesign Magneto's classic outfit in a way that both suits the character and your own tastes, how would you redesign it?
uhhhh errrmmmmm i dont know i really couldnt improve upon perfection but i have still tried for you my friend !!!
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#erik magnus lensherr#like ig fc erik there too but only if you squint Generally Speaking this aint about him#snap sketches#i thought this was gonna be a quick thing but then As I Do i sat and thought about it for too long#and for what. my end result isn't that different from the beginning !! tragic .#out of these i think. it MAY be obvious i like the far right one#once i remembered I Do In Fact love megaman i locked in cause everytime i draw Classic Magneto all i think of is megaman#cant even make a magnetman joke that mfer already exists and he from my FAVORITE classic megaman title tyvm#anyway. should i explain my reasoning now. man i guess i can try#i couldnt tho is the thing- at least for the first set i really was just ickin around and seeing what i Might like#evidently it was nothing LMAO i told yall i cant improve perfection ... so i just. Smash Bros'd his classic look#With some tearing on the cape cause i said so ............#at most- with the furthermost right bit- i just wanted to emphasize a feeling of 'power' hence the chunkier boots + gloves#with the first look i tried that angle with showing some arm skin buuuuttt i dont like it ...#i think the sleeveless look really only works if the outfit's black idk i cant explain it#overall the first design i tried just feels too sleek for my liking if i wanted to go for a 'power' approach#i like the 'M' i did with the legs at least. i really wanted to incorporate an M in case it wasnt clear but alas ...#tbh i might steal the boots/gloves/underwear design from myself when i draw classic magneto regularly. SHRUG we'll see#as for now i am very sleepy and i have class in the morning and i want to do some work Before Class#very cool but very sad i dont have my third class today :( its my fave class :( at least i get more time to work#and the more work i get done the more time i get to draw the sillies !!! epic ...#anyways. good night everyone !!!!!!! talk to yall tomorrow ..... probably ... or later ig technically... i should sleep earlier <- wont
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we'll always be together, you and I
#my art#warcraft#peregrïn#world of warcraft#khadgar#night elf#khadgrin#kaldorei#dalaran#ok erm#I don't talk a lot about it but#woah the ... spoilers? about tww#really worry me and make me sad :(#im still really excited about the game but woah I hope I won't have to cry :(((#no matter what it won't change that they'll always be together in a million other realities#but that one where they wouldn't would hurt :''((#i want them to be together foreveeerrrr <33333
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i was hacked by a very unhappy man!
#dimension 20#never stop blowing up#nsbu#d20 nsbu#g13#g13 nsbu#usha rao#MY TASTE IN FICTIONAL CHARACTERS GETS WORSE AND WORSE BY THE DAY!!!!!#sorgy. i cant help it every time a character is even slightly sympathetic i fall for it every time#i acknowledge that he is rude to everyone around him and the reason why he is so isolated from every body#is that he is egotistical and drives people away on purpose#like if u are not useful to him then he doesnt like you#but that in and of itself is so sad. hes just really sad#and a dick. and its funny#“we can have an old ladies night out” “maybe you can have that one by yourself” LMAO#ALSO USHA IS SO FUNNY U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I WAS LAUGHING TODAY#“i made my own alcohol during the prohibition” SHES 100 YEARS OLD AT BEST. AND FROM INDIA#i think these two are my favorite characters this far and i dont know what that says abt me#oh not even mentioning the inherent tragedy of fictional character who knows theyre not real and wants to escape into the real world#tell me g13. why do you want people? huh? HUH?#im also being influenced by his nature of being a loser and also i like computers and computer symbolism#im normal you can trust me#i could go on about how usha and g13 are alike in their refusal to change#but i need to sleep#nsbu spoilers
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