#haven’t tagged that in a loooooong time

[magic-cricketbat]

i’m not usually one to make ocs but i was chatting with my friend as we were rewatching dead boy detectives so just hear me out:

monty deserves a boyfriend we can all agree on this. give us another bird familiar, a magician’s assistant who understands what it is to exist as both bird and boy and not know which one feels more correct. someone to fly with and leave little sticks and rocks as gifts.

monty, the most sunshine crow (a bird often associated with darkness and bad omens) and a dove familiar who turns into the snarkiest most grumpy little man you’ve ever seen.

bird boyfriends. gimme bird boyfriends. 🐦‍⬛ 🕊️

[heestruck]

Joint Dream ; Lee Heeseung [TEASER]

synopsis ; What if we lived in a world where dreams were connected? Where my thoughts became yours. And yours became mine. Where a simple fantasy that ran through your unconscious mind was shared with someone else. And neither of you had any idea that your dreams were connected as one.

In which yn and heeseung have the same sex dream about each other and are forced to get through a long shift not knowing the other person shared the same dream.

pairing ; coworker!fem reader x coworker!heeseung

genre ; smut

warnings ; smut, mdni. hair pulling, degrading, choking, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), inappropriate relationship, infidelity, oral fem&male receiving. more warnings to come.

do not read if any of this makes you uncomfortable. minors do not interact.

wc ; to be determined

release date ; september 2nd, 2024 [OUT NOW]

teaser under the cut !

You felt weightless, like a feather floating in the wind as your back met the cold, wooden surface. Warmth spread across your chest as your eyes adjusted to your surroundings. You were at your office, the boardroom down the hall from the cubical you sat at everyday.

What were you doing at work?

The thought hit as a hand worked its way down your body. Your mind cued into the sensation of soft kisses travelling up your neck. You turned to face the culprit.

Heeseung. Your coworker, Heeseung.

It was all in an instant, there was barely any time to process as you found yourselves naked, a burning desire to touch each other lingered in the air as you took each other in. The shared lust had overpowered any sense either of you had before his lips met yours, and he was situating himself between your legs. “I’ve wanted to fuck you for so long, I haven’t wanted anything this bad since the Decelis deal.” his raspy voice choked the words out as he teased the tip of his cock at your entrance that was practically begging for him.

“Please.. hee ‘m need you so bad.” your pleads made you sound so desperate. The same smirk you watched Heeseung emit many times in the office stretched across his plump lips. It’s like you could read each other’s minds. You knew exactly what he was thinking, he wanted you. It was an all consuming desire that he needed to feed. He grabbed base of his cock and you felt him slowly push his tip into you.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Your eyes opened and you nearly jumped out of your skin. The sound of your alarm merely blending into the background as you replayed the dream in your head. It felt so lifelike, you could’ve swore you still felt his lips on your neck. You had a sex dream about Lee Heeseung. Your cheeks were stained a red colour as you tried to calm yourself down from the embarrassment as you realized you had subconsciously crossed a line.

You were dreading this all-nighter with him. Knowing you’d be sitting inches away from the man you dreamt about.. at least he wouldn’t know about the vivid fantasy your subconscious had gifted you with.

Right?

———————————

authors note ; this is the first thing I’ve written in a loooooong time! and this is my first time writing on tumblr so if you want to be on the tag list let me know in the comments ♡ thank you.

[mjparkerwriting]

Summer Reading/Writing Tag ☀️

Thank you @scribe-of-stories for 'cursing me with attention and the obligation to write things' (tagging me)!

Describe one creative WIP project you're planning to work on over the summer.

I’m not magic like everyone else on here, so I only have the one WIP—TLBH. If I’m talking about writing, it’s about that. I do only have around 20k words left until I’m done with the first draft and I plan on taking a small break before editing and working on one or two short story ideas, maybe some small drabbles to post here.

Recommend a book

Not a book book but a short story. Bloodchild by Octavia E. Butler. Super weird but a really interesting read. It’s not terribly long—maybe around 20 pages.

Recommend a fic

I won’t lie. I haven’t read and finished a fic in a loooooong time so for jokesies I found a fic from way back in my glee days. I remember reading this in high school. It’s a Santana/Brittany one called Music Box. Really exposing myself with that one.

Recommend music

This is a hard ask because I love so many types of music. Gonna go with Thee Sacred Souls and Apolonio by Omar Apollo.

share one piece of advice

Do what makes you happy. You only have the one life so don’t waste it living for someone else.

I am tagging @squarebracket-trick @lexiklecksi @liv-is and @rhikasa

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

You talked about community labels and I'm happy you are vocal about that. How do I remove the ability for others to suggest labels on my posts? I haven't found out yet 🥲

Sorry for loooooong post ahead

Hi ❤️ Just doing my part 😄 And I’m happy that more people are becoming vocal about this issue. Hopefully all writers on this platform will come together and express their concerns to the Tumblr staff about how flawed the Community Labels actually are. And how it’s seems that they are doing more harm than any good.

There unfortunately is no way to remove the ability for other people to suggest a Community Label. This is an integrated system that Tumblr put in place once they launched this new and stupid feature, and only they can decide to remove this feature (which I’m hoping will happen in the future!)

BUT. There may be a way to minimise the chances of getting a Community Label slapped on a post, and it’s something I’ve tested on two fics already, and so far (*knocks on wood*), I have not gotten a Label put on them. But ofc, there can be many reasons for why I haven’t gotten a Label on them, and that it may not have anything to do with the fact that I censored [s]exual words.

It seems that there are certain (and pretty obvious) words that Tumblr just doesn’t seem to like: [N]SFW, [c]ock, [p]ussy, [s]ex, and other [s]exual references. I’ve started censoring all these kinds of words (by using [ ] ) in my fics in the hopes of going undetected from whatever algorithm Tumblr has in place to catch Mature Content and slap a Label on.

But even words that are in theory “[i]nnocent” (yes even [i]nnocent is a no no for Tumblr) but can still be used in a [s]exual manner, for example: [s]hower, [b]ody, [h]ard, and a lot more, is also seen as “inappropriate” and I censor those as well.

A few tips on how to check what words are not safe to use are if the search results come up like this:

It’s a hard no from me! And I will be censoring these kind of words that have search results like these (“hold your horses” message and where the results are empty with no posts).

BUT words that have these kind of searches

Is also something I’m very wary of and censor in my fics. Here the results aren’t empty, but you still get that message that this search contains potentially Mature Content. And most of the time, the post in searches like these are mostly [s]exual.

I would like to point out that I saw this tip for the first time by @zorotits and their post which you can find THERE + a few other tips on how to avoid Community Labels.

Now, I may just be going overboard and to the extreme with this, because [s]exual words may not be what the algorithm looks for when deciding what posts need a Label. Because even posts with no Mature Content are getting Labels slapped on them left, right and centre. We don’t know how the system works yet, and it’s seems to be really flawed and inconsistent. But for now, I’ve decided to censor words that are deemed [s]exual in most of my fics.

And I would just like to end with this. I don’t feel bad, or feel like I’m cheating the system by going this long route on avoiding Community Labels. I, and about 98% of all writers on this platform, tag our fics/posts APPROPRIATELY! With warnings, tags, and triggers, so that people can avoid certain content if they so desire. It’s not our job to curate the online experience for others (although we do give a helping hand by tagging and putting warnings on our stuff), and it certainly shouldn’t be Tumblrs as well. At least not when the feature they have put in place is flawed, broken, and stupid beyond belief.

I hope you are having a wonderful day/night ❤️

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 20 - Mexico City

If you want to know just how unobservant I was to much of the 2022 season, I had no idea the race’s name was changed until today 🙃 (still just gonna tag everything as the Mexican GP bc I am lazy)

Anyhow, this is also the last race I remember absolutely nothing from bc I didn’t watch it (I kid you not prior to today my Mexican GP 2022 tag is literally just Seb and Bono gifs) 

So, no thoughts, head empty, I’m a tad scared but let’s jump in

Okay I tell a small lie, I do remember the Mariachi version of the F1 theme doing the rounds on the interwebs. But in terms of racing??? No clue whatsoever.

I haven’t even looked up the results so woooo (though let’s be real Verstappen is gonna win isn’t he?)

ngl I do love the Mexico circuit, it’s really good despite being so flat, and ot’s great that a historical circuit has been able to make a comeback and stick around

OMG THEY PLAYED THE MARIACHI VERSION OF THE F1 THEME DURING THE STARTING GRID

okay F1, you have that one right.

Speaking of,✨ starting grid whiplash ✨

Lance P20 bc of a penalty. Pain.

Seb P16. More pain. At least he’s next to Mick.

Ouch Charles P7.

BOTTAS P6?????

aaaand Lewis P3, we stan.

Well that was made much more bearable by the Mariachi theme, 11/10 would recommend to a friend.

How tf did Bottas drag his Alfa into P6 though??????

[Formation Lap]: Almost a 50/50 split on the grid between starting on the softs or mediums, inch resting.

Somewhat unrelated I’m finally getting used to seeing the silver Merc again when the 2023 season picks up again next week dvubheush

oh god what if there’s carnage at the start??? I am NOT emotionally prepared

boys please don’t be dumb it’s 9pm as I watch this and I don’t want to deal with nonsense

[Start/Lap 1]: No carnage but Lewis went full ZOOM into P2!!!

I didn’t need to look at my screen to realise Perez got past Russell for P3 there was a VERY loud cheer

“Vettel and Stroll had a brilliant start” INJECT IT!!!!!!!! 💚💚💚

P14 for Seb and P15 for Lance THAT’S MY BOYS!!

[Lap 3]: And the race has instantly calmed down ubhesu

Comms are making it sound like it’s the first time the top 6 cars have been top 6 in the race??? either that or it’s been a while since it happened but that’s a fun-ish stat

the replay of Lewis’ start *chef’s kiss*

[Lap 5]: Bottas looking to pass Alonso for 7th

The downside of watching a full season over the course of so many weeks is that whenever you hear ‘Plan A’ on a team radio you immediately think of Ferrari and cry

[Lap 6]: Lewis fastest lap, it’s been so loooooong

[Lap 7]: Dan trying to pass Zhou for P12

ayyyy Seb’s joined the party!!!

Livery watch: all together now, Aston Martin preeeeeeeeeeetty

[Lap 8]: Ah so RBR are on the softs, and Merc on the mediums. inch resting

I mean Ferrari are also on the softs, but we all know how little I trust their pitwall at this point

Wait this was Dan’s 230th race???? That’s WILD

[Lap 9]: Aaaaaand Dan takes P12

Meanwhile Lance got a little bit violent getting past Gasly avhageg

[Lap 11]: Bottas is still in P8 behind Alonso, not quite gaining time but not losing any either.

[Lap 12]: Ted brining a Seb update, 100% the content I am paying for

Him and Lance are still vibing in P14 and 15, hardly anyone has changed positions.

It’s all a bit... static

[Lap 13]: avhaeugh not Pierre and Lance pushing each other off the track 😭 

BOYS

[Lap 14]: Lewis is starting to gain on Verstappen you say???

*dives head first into the sea of delusion*

[Lap 16]: the AMR22 has re-gained tractor status as Lance is being chased down by Alex

[Lap 17]: Alex running on pet power and dreams, lad is SPEEDY

5 sec pen for Gasly’s violence on Lance

“I hope they serve the penalty properly” Hearing this after Bahrain 2023 makes it 11 times funnier

[Lap 18]: And Lance is first into the pits and gets another set of softs

[Lap 19]: “Consider Plan C” I refer back to my comment during Lap 5 🥲

Charles in 2022 🤝 Seb from 2015-2020: Having Ferrari’s braincell

SEB ONBOARD!!!! Still in P14 but idc bc I love him

he’s also 8 tenths behind Zhou

[Lap 22]: still a two second gap between Verstappen and Lewis.

I know I said I didn’t want carnage at the start, but I did want some racing

[Lap 23]: I don’t think anyone else apart from Lance has stopped yet

[Lap 24]: And, here comes Perez for his first stop, for a set of mediums

ouch 5 sec stop

Nicky also pits

[Lap 25]: “My tyres are OK mate” LEWIS????? Are you okay??? Blink twice if you need help

rip “Bono my tyres are gone” 2014-2022

[Lap 26]: and while I recover from my shock Verstappen pits, also softs to mediums

[Lap 27]: Perez having DRS issues????

well they must have been fixed bc he just passed Charles for P5 (though Charles is yet to stop)

[Lap 28]: Anyway Lewis leading his second race in a row, INJECT IT

oh it’s a Merc 1-2!! 2016-2018 me would be so disappointed in me celebrating that avdfuvhu that’s called growth

[Lap 29]: Angela sighting!!!! 

Charles also makes his first stop for mediums

And Lewis pits as well, likely reacting to Ferrari.

Mediums??? So they’re doing a two stop then

[Lap 30]: It is not it’s the hards

[Lap 31]: still loads of cars yet to stop

[Lap 32]: And as I say that Lando pits for the hards

“Lewis is matching Max Verstappen lap for lap” Inject it, tattoo it into the sky, write it out on post-it notes and hand them out to strangers 

[Lap 34]: Ocon next to pit for the hards 

[Lap 35]: Russell joining the one stop for hards party

lol at the order being RBR; Merc; RBR; Merc; Alonso

El Plan intensifies 

Seb watch: HE’S INTO P11 BESTIES!!!!

He’s still yet to stop but I truly do not care

[Lap 37]: oh not McLaren wanting to try Plan C for Dan

I kid you not, I hear Plan X over the radio and I do not trust it no matter the team so thank you so much Ferrari

[Lap 38]: Russell being told to lift and coast at the 150m board for the rest of the race??? W13 intensifies 

argh Perez is starting to catch Lewis, it was a lot of fun while it lasted

[Lap 39]: Seb pits for mediums, and he comes out in P16.

[Lap 40]: Sainz passes Alonso for P5 for some mild Spanish on Spanish violence

ah, Alonso was on his in lap as he’s pitted for hards

[Lap 42]: Ocon with a noice move on Bottas for P10

oh, Bottas is fighting back, MIDFIELD SPICE WELCOME TO THE PARTY

[Lap 43]: “This tyre isn’t good mate” I’ll take that as a ‘Bono my tyres are gone’ resurrection

and followed up by a Bono sighting 🤍

[Lap 44]: Seb up into P14, we’re once again diving into the sea of delusion in the hope of Team Green points

Also Ted timed Gasly’s 5 sec pen with his watch to see if Alpha Tauri timed it correctly asavhaeu

Ted Kravitz for FIA Prez I think he’d do a wonderful job

[Lap 47]: And with Zhou pitting, everyone has finally done at least one stop

the strategy has been all over the place this race, I guess in part to the mix of starting compounds

oh no Lance is the only one two have done 2 stops 

[Lap 48]: Seb watch: P13!!! The hopium is still alive and well folks

“He [Verstappen] is out on the track I promise you” avuheugh you know a driver has been dominating a race when you barely see them on the TV feed

[Lap 49] so Seb is roughly 15-ish seconds away from P10 🤞

Lewis is still having engine clip outs I am no joking when I say I will sledgehammer the W13

[Lap 50]: Cut to Martin Garrix bc there is barely anything happening on track

[Lap 51]: and as I say that Yuki v Dan for P11

THEY TOUCHED

oh dear, Dan almost flipped Yuki

but Seb is up into P12, the racing gods taketh and the racing gods giveth

[Lap 52]: Ah Yuki’s pitting for a new front wing, and the old one does not want to come off

oh no Ted thinks he has suspension damage 😭

Dan you plonker (in this case I do not support his wrongs)

oh no it was sidepod damage ☹️

[Lap 54]: Seb v Gasly v Zhou 🍿

oh wow Dan slammed with a 10 sec penalty.

[Lap 56]: Seb down to P14 and defending from Zhou, this is why we’re self aware about when we go delusional

[Lap 58]: welp I was not aware about RBR potentially matching Seb’s their record of winning 9 races in a row 🥲

okay I’ll let Zhou have P14 bc that was a pretty nice move on Seb

[Lap 61]: oh hello Dan v Alpine

to be fair he’s on the softs and they’re on the hards but he’s ZOOMING

[Lap 62]: 10 laps remaining klaxon

and Dan passes Ocon for P7

[Lap 65]: “Does that look like it’s terminal now? Oh that’s a Williams” Oh Ted

and there stops Fernando

oh it’s a VSC

[Lap 69]: And suddenly it’s 3 laps remaining

Seb still P14, no team green points today 😭

[Lap 70]: and Merc pit Russell to go for the fastest lap

and Dan has somehow managed to pull a 10 sec gap over Ocon so he’ll keep P7 even with his pen

[Lap 71/Finish]: Oh, Verstappen broke the record of most wins in a season huh.

Anyway LEWIS P2!!!!

Taking all the tiny crumbs I can get

And Russell did bag fastest lap at the end, such a drama king

Well... that was... somewhat average. Lewis getting P2 at the start was the most that happened in the top 6 and the midfield spice was very few and far between, though the bits we did get was fun to watch.

So a very straight down the middle 5 front wings out of 10. Next race - Brazil!

[laconiceuphony]

do i need to create this post? No

will ppl read it? Probably no

BUT

here are the best tags i ever created (in my opinion)/or are too rare:

(sorted by fandom)

Merlin

Merlin is an idiot

Merlin messing with mortals (which i just noticed i wrote iwth instead of with)

The legends of flickering lights and missing remotes

Author does not know what to do with their life anymore

BNHA

I haven’t talked about my emotions for more than 3 years and this is the result

(Nedzu is a little shit) but thats cannon

Kirishima is a manly man who is manly

Who is gonna win the eye-bag competition: Shinsou or Aizawa or Midoriya

The power of friendship is bullshit I want pain

Googling derealization hating what you find (yes i stole that from bo)

WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES

Healing is hard, I don’t know what else to tag, i did this on a whim, I usually plan things out, also i think i have an angst addiction

Haikyuu

I ship to many characters to just focus on one

the guys ™

(spoiler, but not rlly; I am also working on a Voltron fic but tags are not done yet

also i have other fics on the working for a LOOOOOONG time, dont come at me)

[flashflashitsash]

Trope: Lovers Destined to Destroy Each Other

Me: inspired for once to write a little sumthin

He walked toward her..stopping a brief moment as he looked down at her with a pained face, taking her loose ribbon between his fingers.

“knowing how this ends. would you still have loved me?" She asked quietly.

“yes." He whispered, letting go of her ribbon…taking once last glance and proceeded walking away. “I wouldn’t change anything”

She took in a harsh breath, turning and reaching out for his sleeve, yanking him back causing a stumble

He sighed into it all, his lips crashing into hers, her delicate hands grabbing his face and collar like it was her last life line. the fireworks that erupt as they have their last big finale, one last moment.

Somehow it would always end this way…her tears on his face…his blood on her hands..and still….God cried for the beautiful tragedy as rain began to fall from the sky.

People emerged from their homes, cheering growing louder and louder. Hearts feeling full and knowing their liberation.

But one heart…one heart was not. Slowly it cracked and a part of it was dying along with the man in her arms. She pulled him closer to her as she sobbed into his chest; clutching him to her wishing for a different end.

“Maybe in the next life…no..for sure in our next life..” he winced as he struggled to bring air into his lungs “I’ll have you as my bride..we’d have a wonderful life ..” he smiled, cupping her face with a shaky hand

“We’d have each other..our love..no fighting or hatred..just our love, each other and maybe..” she choked her eyes saying all she couldn’t.

“We’d have kids!” He breathed “beautiful kids you could teach to bake as amazing as you”

“And youd show them the loveliness of music”

He nodded, tears falling “we’d be happy….a..a beautiful..picture.”

She watched silently, her heart being the only noise she would hear in her ears, watching his mouth say those small three words..the light and shine in his eyes fading slowly as his smile turned crooked and his chest came to a slow stop. She pressed her lips to his one last time, the faintest whisper was left on them.

“Ill love you always”

[ofmusingsxandmayhem]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN!

BASICS

BIRTHDAY: 5th June

PRONOUNS: She / Her

NAME: Pluto

ZODIAC: Gemini

FAVORITES

Favorite Author: Not entirely sure I have one? Haven’t really thought about it. I loved reading Tolkein as a kid though.

Favorite Character from Literature: Following on from the last one, I always loved Eowyn - strong willed and doesn’t let people tell her what she can or can’t do

Favorite Music Genre: It depends on my mood, but I like most things (except the hardcore rock and screaming lol). But my go-to is any kind of instrumental/classical music (listening to some right now lmao)

Favorite Kind of Book: I quite like autobiographies. I like learning about people and hearing their stories.

Favorite Animal: Red panda 

Favorite Disney Cartoon: The Lion King

Favorite Video Games: I’ve not played proper video games for a long time. But I do have a laugh on Among Us of late.

Favorite Color: Once again, I don’t have just one. But I love red, yellow or turquoise. 

Favorite TV Shows: I’m super into Stranger Things of course. Really enjoying the various Disney+ shows too.

Favorite Mythology: Hmmmm not entirely sure. Haven’t done a lot of research into any but I do enjoy Norse.

Favorite Food: Pasta of any kind - or chocolate

Favorite Actor: I have so many I love and admire. But I guess I’ll go with my childhood icons and say Julie Andrews, Angela Lansbury and Dick Van Dyke.

Favorite Countries: I adore Austria, could keep going back over and over. Also love Singapore, and I’m eager to visit Dubai again. But I will always love my homes of England and Australia. 

ROLEPLAY QUESTIONS

CANON OR OC: Either? If it comes to writing, I can’t choose because canon is fun to explore but OCs don’t come with the pre-existing stuff. Writing opposite, I love both.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN RPING: Since 2010, on tumblr since 2012.

WHO IS YOUR CURRENT FC: Well I have a lot for my muses, and I don’t actually use one for ooc stuff. I think I used to use Merida from Brave.

FAVORITE GENRE: Anything I’m in the mood for? I do love angst and pain, but I adore little fluffy domestic things too

SOFT MUSES OR EVIL MUSES: More soft but I love evil too

WHAT IS YOUR PERFERED WRITING STYLE?: Para and multipara. I can do shorter replies but the one-liners or quick things I’ve seen around just really isn’t for me personally.

HAVE YOU BEEN ON OTHER PLATFORMS?: I started out on a Supernatural forum (yes the show lol) and then moved here. I tried facebook and twitter a loooooong time ago but they never worked for me. I think I just prefer the set up of here. This is my only platform now.

WHO IS YOUR TOP MUSE AT THE MOMENT?: Generally probably Oscar or Isabella? But I have a bunch and it can change up at any given moment lol

NAME YOUR MUSES YOU HAD IN THE PAST: I’ve got quite a few retired ones, still have their info just in case I ever brought them back. OCs: Ana Durant (Sofia Boutella -SHIELD agent), Caleb Embry (Ben Whishaw - a translator and part time stripper), Judy Gooding (Miranda Otto - psychologist), Rose Milner (Amy Adams - werewolf and teacher), Tony Castilla (Alfonso Herrera - vampire and bartender), Gwen Price (Sigourney Weaver - CIA director), Lewis Martin (Chance Perdomo - lit student and mutant), Natalia Dias (Daniela Ruah - werewolf and detective), Vic Reynolds (Michael Caine - history professor), Will Ashford (a fc who now makes me very uncomfortable so we won’t mention him - journalist). Canons: Napoleon Solo (Henry Cavill - from The Man from UNCLE), Hilda Spellman (Lucy Davis - from The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Louise Banks (Amy Adams - from Arrival), Giselle (Amy Adams - from Enchanted).

(Stolen from @wingsandahalo​ - tagging anyone who would like to do it)

[that-wildwolf]

Mass Effect Trilogy tag game

Tagged by @whiskynorocks

I am a fan since… 2020. When the quarantine hit, I decided to finally play all the video games I’ve heard about but haven’t played before: Gears of War, Mass Effect, Fable, Borderlands... Okay, I didn’t get into all of them, but some were good.

Favorite game of the series: [CONTROVERSIAL] 3. When you take away the ending, it’s a solid game with a lot of cute and funny moments between the crew. There’s no more weird randos like in ME2, just a slightly modified crew of my best friends from 1. Everyone is friends and I finally have the romance I want.

MaleShep or FemShep? Femshep. My first playthrough was as M!Shep, but then I googled Garrus and the second I read about the romance I yeeted myself to replay everything as Femshep... Hadn’t expected to fall in love with her so much. Jennifer Hale really gave a 11/10 performance there.

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer? Spacer.

Paragon or Renegade? Paragon

Biotics or Tech? Tech all the way!

Favorite class: Infiltrator. I always play as a sniper, in every game with class choices. (Why yes, I am an archer is Skyrim, how did you know?)

Favorite companion: Garrus, but that’s kind of obvious. I also have a strong love for Ashley, Tali, Legion, and Grunt. And Wrex. And Jack. Okay, I love everyone. All of them. Even the ones I love the least I still love.

Least favorite companion: Kaidan, because I literally not once had a playthrough where he survives. I have literally 0 emotional attachment to him. If I had to choose from characters I do know, I guess maybe Vega. You know, new guy.

My squad selection: Garrus+Ashley for ME1, Garrus+whoever’s loyalty mission it is for 2, Legion+Grunt for Collector Base, Garrus+Ashley for ME3 because bless ME3 for giving me back my OG dream team

Favorite in-game romance: Have you seen my blog?

Other pairings I like: Tali/Reegar, Liara/Javik, Nihlus/Saren. Yes I copied this from @whiskynorocks but they got it 100% right.

Favorite NPC: Lorik Qui’in, by a loooooong shot. Anderson, Nihlus, Victus.

Favorite antagonist: Saren! Fuck, I love Saren so much, he was genuinely one of the coolest villains ever

Favorite mission: Hey what the fuck, I don’t even remember which 

Favorite loyalty mission: Uhhhhh I have no clue, they’re all so good. Probably Tali’s, I get to play detective. Samara’s is also great. For the same reason.

Favorite DLC: Citadel, obviously. Garrus dragging Shepard to the danceflor by force is worth any price.

Control, Synthesis or Destroy? Lmao none, I pick Refuse every damn time. Breaks my heart, but then again so do all of those ridiculous choices and all of them are bad so in the end does it matter if we all know that the true ending was the Reapers all exploded and Shepard survived and the geth and the mass relays were not destroyed and everyone got married and retired and had a happy life right?????????

Favorite weapon: The Black Widow. Obviously.

Favorite place: I love the Citadel, especially in ME1. Like, that’s my home.

A quote I like: “I won’t let fear compromise who I am.” on par with “It's so easy to see the world in black and white. Gray? I don't know what to do with gray.”

I’m tagging: @evvi and @biasedsteam9 my beloved

[annab-nana]

2020...

You were probably the worst and best year of my life for several different reasons.

Worst because you took away my normal college experience. Worst because mentally, you haven’t been kind. Worst because you have taken several people who have meant a lot to me and many others. Worst because people I’ve thought of as good friends don’t speak to me anymore or turned out to not be who I thought they were.

Best because for some reason being stuck in quarantine brought my best friend and I a whole lot closer. Best because I found new hobbies that I love. Best because I’ve grown a lot as a person. Best because I’ve grown a lot on here and made writings that people have enjoyed. Best because I have impacted others in a positive way and helped people. Best because I have felt the happiest I have ever felt and the most love I have experienced as well. Best because I have made many new friends that mean the world to me and I just wanted to say a small thank you to all of these people.

@rebelemilu • Emily, I remember months ago when I reblogged an edit of yours and you kinda geeked out that I did that. I thought it was the cutest thing ever and it was shocking to me that someone who didn’t even know me loved me and my stuff. Then later in July when I first ever showed my face to this hellsite, I inspired you to do the same and I got to see your beautiful face and smile and I was so happy that I was able to do that for you. You have always been so kind and supportive of me and I will forever be grateful to you for that. Now I get to talk to you almost everyday and you send me the best gifs of our favorite men and I couldn’t be happier. You are an amazing friend Em and I love you so much! You have no idea how much you mean to me.

@x-lulu • Lulu, this past month or so has been amazing! You are one of the strongest, sweetest, and most supportive people I know! Like you said, you feel like you can come to me with anything but that is how I feel about you. You have a soft warm safe presence about you that makes me feel comfortable and appreciated when I talk to you. Loneliness is my biggest struggle and I hate talking about it with anyone because it feels stupid when I say it but with you, I feel like I could discuss that with you without any judgement. Now that I know you I don’t think I could be without you. You’re just so wonderful and I wish everyone could have a lu as a friend. I don’t know what I’d do without my aesthetic queen that I love so much.

@https-luna • Luna, you are my luna bug! What else can I say? I love you so much and we’ve only really talked for the past twoish weeks but I feel like we will be friends for a long time. You are so incredibly smart and I love each and every one of your random fun facts. That makes my days so much better with your sweet personality. I feel like we’ve grown a lot closer these last few days and I wouldn’t change that for the world. You are a talented writer and I love getting to see that first hand. My love for you will never die, luna bug.

@sguymon21 • Sara, I honestly don’t remember how our friendship started. I want to say it was because we started talking when I was reading your story, All Of My Wrongs, because I fell in love with it and then we just started talking. And then we exchanged Instagrams and then Snapchats and we’ve talked for a while honestly. You are such an amazing writer and a sweet and kind soul as well and I know that at times that people haven’t been that kind to you but I promise you are so much more than what people say. You are gorgeous love and your heart is even prettier.

@samcolbylife666 • Zach, I know this is probably weird considering we haven’t talked in several months but I still wanted to thank you. You were the first person I ever really talked to on here and I hope you’re doing well. I remember the random things we’d discuss right before all hell broke loose with corona. I was literally talking to you when I had to pack to leave my dorm for our “two week” break and I was excited that our spring break had been lengthened. I’m pretty sure your plans to go to Disneyland for canceled due to everything but I hope you still get to go soon. I don’t know if you still get on here but I’d love to talk to you again.

@xgingerblue19x • Ella, my love from the other side of the world haha I love you so much. Our journey started the night Sam broke his back. I was lowkey freaking out about it and you were there to calm me down and you sent me updates about it too. It was nice to have someone to talk to when I was super anxious about someone I look up to and care deeply about. Then a few weeks later, we all lost someone really important to us, Corey, and once again, you were there. You talked with me and I am not one to easily open up to others especially when I’m upset but with you, I felt safe and you made it easy. Since then, we don’t talk super often but we can always pick up where we left off and it feels normal and not awkward at all and I love that about our friendship. You are someone I know that I can lean on and I hope you know I’m here for you as well sweetheart.

@socialanxiety-queen • Becca, I love you so much! We were both scared to reach out to each other and anxious about making new friends but I’m glad that we started to message each other and play a little game of twenty questions. Even though we don’t talk that often, I will always love and support you and I know that I can talk to you about whatever I need to. Your heart is so pure and it is a beautiful thing inside a beautiful person. You make me so happy and I love how you remember the little things about a person and make them feel so loved and appreciated and I hope you feel as loved and appreciated as you make others feel.

@toriswrites • Tori, you are such a cute little bean and I love you! We started talking right before I combined blogs on maybanksbaby and you were the one who helped me gain the courage to finally combine my blogs after I had been thinking about it for a loooooong time. I don’t think you know how grateful I am for that because it was the best decision I’ve ever made and I couldn’t have done it without you and your encouragement. So thank you for talking to me through that because I probably would’ve never done it or I would’ve pushed it off for a while if I hadn’t brought it up to you.

@heaven-with-mark • Babe, I honestly have no idea where our friendship started. I think it was you posted something and I came to check on you and then we just started talking. And then we talked almost every day all day for like a month. We’d be going crazy as we stayed up late. You’d show me all your pets and tell me their adorable and unique names which I loved. We’d talk about several random ideas and we’d talk about our problems too. I know we haven’t talked that much recently but I really miss you and I hope you are doing well.

@lonely-xplr • Bree, you are someone I’ve always looked up to. Ever since I started writing on this app and joined this fandom, I’ve looked up to you. You are so smart and so nice to talk to. I know that if I ever need someone to talk to, I can go to you. You always seem to send me something nice right when I need it and I am so grateful for that and you. I love you so much and I hope you know how much you mean to me.

@fttayla @ilovejjmaybank @demxters • Liv, Nat, and Elle, I love you all so much! You are so kind and super supportive and I thank you guys for that. Y’all are so cute too and your friendships have made me so happy.

@reinad-snc @goddess-of-time-and-magic @reddesertcolbs @xplrtrash @sarcasmhadachild @colbylover99 @cartiercolby @ygsucks @starrybrock • to my @traphousedaily babies and Kayla, you all made me feel welcome in this Sam and Colby tumblr fandom family. When I joined this group of wonderful people, I felt like I wasn’t alone and just posting my fics. I felt like I apart of something greater and I made great friends because of it. Each of you are so incredibly sweet and amazing people and I am so happy that I have gotten the chance to meet you all and become friends with you too.

@itsnotgray @ilguna @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @xplrvibes @golbrocklovely @golbrockstar @turnupbrock @socialwriter @mrsmaybankhere @spilledtee @bricksatlandyswindow @dmonchld @killingbxys @nxsmss @mxltifandoms06 @uwubonebabie @rafej-cambanks @drewstarkeysbitchh @faithie-brock-gillespie01 @cognacdelights @tovvaa @moniamaybank @themaddies-obx @cuddlycolby @xplrsworld @makebank @rafeyybabyy • there are so many more but there is a tag limit to each post so I’ll probably comment to add some more but each of you have made my 2020 better. Some on small ways and others in bigger ones but each of you have brought me happiness and made me smile more so for that, thank you.

So after that reflection, I have realized that 2020 may not have been the greatest year of our lives but at least for me, the great points outweigh the bad ones tremendously. Here’s to 2021 :)

[greyghoulclub]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Ghost (Sweden Band) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Cardinal Copia/Papa Emeritus III Characters: Papa Emeritus III, Cardinal Copia Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - 1920s, Platonic Relationships, Angst with a Happy Ending, papa 3 and copia are just friends in this, 1920s, London Summary:

A Ghost AU set in the 1920s in London, just a one shot but I may write more in this AU later.

I know I haven’t posted fic here in a loooooong time. I’m going to say it was writers block and I won’t say otherwise, but here is a fic fresh off the press for you all!

[khadij-al-kubra]

Worst Impressions are the First (ch 7)

Main Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil (Human AU)

Pairings: Romantic LAMP

Word Count: 5036

AO3

<=PREV

NEXT=>

Author’s (longer than usual but it’s for good reason) Note: *The Apocalypse—2020. Zoom in on a plague rat turned writer. She has survived thesis projects, getting a Master’s degree, burnout, writing and illustrating a children’s book, being a slave for the U.S. census bureau, months of overthinking anxiety spirals, and one or two incidents involving an asshole skunk. But now, battle weary yet unwavering in her love of art and love for her loyal readers, this onesie-clad tea slurping book dragon....has finally arisen from the ashes*

I LIVE BITCHES!!!!!!! And I am SO SORRY for taking so long!!! I’ve been hard at work, been editing like a mad woman, and I even have a beta now! The gorgeous and talented @humbletortoise So I  am OFFICIALLY off hiatus!!! *cue confetti canon* 

Also, one of the biggest reasons I’ve taken so long to update is because I’ve spent the past month or so essentially retconning the fuck outta this fic. I realized looking back at earlier chapters in this story that, although I was proud of them at the time and greatly appreciate the positive reactions, they were...not my best work. (shitty first drafts if I’m being honest) That’s because, at the time, I was trying to split my attention between writing this fic and working on grad school stuff, which resulted in my writing for this not being as best of quality as it could have been upon first posting. This story deserves my best, and so do all of you. So now I hope to give you that. 

I encourage you to go back and re-read the previous chapters up till now (trust me, they’re near unrecognizable to the first drafts, but in the best way). Or if you don’t feel like doing that, you can just continue on from here. totally cool. For the sake of convenience and my own sanity, I’ll attach the AO3 Link to this fic from the start. I may also start just posting chapter updates on tumblr but only have the link to the chapter and add my reader tags. Again, for the sake of my sanity because Tumblr is a bastard when it comes to posting fics. (Also PLEASE let me know if there are any tagging issues if anyone’s on my tags list; yet another reason i’m considering just linking my fics in the future)

Anywho, without further ado, at LOOOOOONG last, here is the next chapter!

Chapter 7 - (POV Roman)

When Roman had offered to walk with Logan to class, it was only partly out of an innate sense of chivalry; a side of himself that he rarely got to show on account of being a socially awkward gay disaster. Though mainly, he saw it as a chance to get to know his second soulmate better.

He certainly hadn’t expected two long minutes of civil but silent walking. Well, as silent as a stroll through their school could be with its usual racket buzzing around them. With a vocabulary as big as the continents of Africa and Eurasia combined, you’d think Logan would be more of a conversationalist. Alas. He merely walked in step with Roman. They glanced over at each other every so often, but Logan stayed tight lipped and seemingly impassive; fiddling with his bumblebee hair pin every now and again. Damn. Looked like he was going to have to make the first move.

Roman was bad at this. How did people usually…Oh yeah, common interest. That’s a thing. He wracked his brain for some sort of ice breaker. One that’d make him look cool and calm or, something, in front of Logan. He was a fairly decent student though not quite mathletes level. He could compliment his outfit maybe? Was that too forward? Too shallow? Maybe he could find common ground? That was as good a place to start as any.

“So! So uhh…What kind of music do you like?” Roman asked. Yeah, that’s good. Everybody likes music.

Logan glanced at him. “Can you be more specific?”

Roman’s brow furrowed. “I mean, like, your favorite genre of music to listen to?”

“Classical,” said Logan in a clipped tone.

“That’s cool. I don’t really listen to classical myself.”

Logan only hummed, his face neutral. Roman was really hoping for more than that. A few awkward seconds passed, then Logan spoke up.

“Are you perhaps a fan of the classic Sherlock Holmes novels?” He inquired.

“Um, I haven’t gotten around to the books yet, actually,” Roman said, scratching his earlobe. “I mean, I’ve heard great things about them. And I’m a big fan of the Robert Downey Jr. movies.”

“Ah. I see.” Logan said, giving him the judgiest side eye.

Come on, Roman thought. Give me something to work with. “Oh! What about theater?”

“What a frustratingly vague inquiry.”

“Well, excuse me for trying to get to know my soulmate a little better.” Ay come jode, work with me here, man!

Logan sighed. “While I understand and appreciate your intention, I believe ‘getting to know someone’ as you put it, requires a certain level of specificity. Anything less indicates a somewhat shallow level of sincere interest, and I greatly despise shallow conversation. That said, if you’re inquiring as to whether or not I enjoy theater, no. I don’t understand the concept of professional make believe, though I appreciate it as an art form. I assume you’re a fan?”

Is he seriously implying I’m shallow? Roman groused, pushing his red frames up the bridge of his nose. Ugh, forget it Roman. He’s throwing you a bone here. Take it.

“Obviously,” said Roman, gesturing dramatically. “I mean I’m no actor—Eesh. No. Yikes—but everything about the artform enthralls me. And I like all kinds of genres and eras of plays, from Shakespear to Ruhl, but musicals are by far my favorite, because like, there’s so much you can do with them design wise. I mean just look at how groundbreaking Hamilton was.”

For a second, Logan’s face actually softened, his eyes lighting up. But just as Roman thought they were finally about to make some progress, his stony companion was back to wearing that platinum puss.

“Ah. How… original.”

Roman blinked. “Are you saying my tastes are basic?”

“Well, yes.”

Augh! Okay. Yep. I don’t like him. Patton was going to be so disappointed, and Roman was too. He’d wanted so badly to get along with all his soulmates, but Logan was a snob! Way less intimidating than Virgil and his ilk, but still a jerk. I wonder if soulmarks can make typos or something? Thank the stars they’d already arrived.

Roman and Logan filed in with the rest of the class for seventh period. Somebody had the liberty of opening a window– the AC was still busted in this classroom– so for once there was actually a decent breeze cutting through the usual mucky Florida humidity. Still smelled like it would probably rain later. Good thing Roman had packed an umbrella just in case, Mom’s orders. His hair looked too good today to be wrecked by frizz.

Roman took a seat at his desk, running distracted fingers over the carved letters in the wood while he mulled over his predicament. Just look at him over there, thought Roman as he glared at Logan, not two rows away from him. Sitting with his hands clasped on the desk all smug—of course he’d be near the front—and with such disturbingly good posture. What is he, a robot? Who is he to call my interests basic, the NERVE! And okay, sure, like Hamilton, sometimes I get over excited and shoot off at the mouth. But great Zeus, does that guy show passion for ANYTHING besides academics? Roman blew a raspberry, plopping his head in his hands.

He always thought soulmates were supposed to get along, even as just friends for life. Balancing each other out, bringing out the best in you and forming a deep connection—that was the whole point. He sighed to himself. Cymbals clashed less than he and Logan did.

He was stirred from his brooding by the bell. Apparently Mr. ‘Call-me-Terrence’ Williams had materialized without him noticing. Okay fine, he should probably pay more attention, but he was having a crisis here.

“Afternoon everyone,” Terrence greeted in that measured, upbeat tone of his.  

He draped his navy blue blazer over the back of his desk chair and rolled his shirt sleeves to the elbows. Roman pitied the poor guy;  he had to teach sauna of a classroom all day. He could see the glisten of sweat on his teacher's smooth forehead as he wrote things on the board. Yet he still kept a pleasant attitude towards his students.

“Alright class!” Terrence started, “Today we’re covering the next section on the American Revolution. Specifically, the Battle of Yorktown...”

Roman mentally punched the air. My time has come. He opened his textbook to the right page but didn’t bother looking at it. He already knew most everything about Yorktown. Not just because he’d listened to the Hamilton soundtrack fifteen and a half million times, but also because he’d done actual research on the event and time period that the musical took place; There was always the off chance he’d get to stage crew or, heck, even dramaturg the show. He liked to be prepared.

“So the battle of Yorktown took place in 1781, but a great deal of its success was thanks to the French Allies. Many especially aided in fighting the British Troops surrounding New York. Now who can tell me where the French Soldiers first landed?”

Roman half raised his hand. He was pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Logan.” Terrence called.

Roman turned to Logan desk, where his hand was held high and mighty.

“The French Ally ships first landed in Rhode Island, then made their way to Chesapeake Bay,” said Logan, adjusting his glasses. Not even a hint of second guessing in his voice.

“That’s right!”

He almost missed the quick smirk on Logan’s frustratingly pretty face. Look at that smug—thinks he’s so smart...Okay yes, he is smart, but he doesn’t have to be a show off about it. Terrence continued through the passages, calling on a student every now and again to review. Of course, Logan got called on most and he got every answer right. Roman didn’t feel like raising his hand anymore.

“Of course there were many turning points in the revolution, but Hamilton’s return to the field for Yorktown was a key point.” Terrence continued on. “And keep in mind- this was a man who up till now had never been in a position of command before. Not to mention the mental strains he must’ve been under, especially having had to miss the birth of his son Philip, the first of three children he had.”

Wait a sec. “Well, that’s not right.”

Even though he’d muttered, apparently Mr. Terrence still heard him. “Come again, Roman?”

Shoot. “Um, I said,” Stop sounding timid, you know you’re right. “I said that was, um, wrong.”

The whole class turned to him. Oh great, history class has its eyes on me. Roman cleared his throat and tried to look taller.

“What I mean is: Hamilton had eight kids, not three. And on top of that, Phillip was born a few months after they won the Revolution, not during, so Hamilton didn’t miss the birth of his son. I mean sure, it’s a small thing, but the devil’s in the details as they say. Heh.”

Terrence gave the most insultingly bemused look. And Roman definitely heard a few kids snickering behind him. He glanced quickly at the culprits and felt his ears go hot. This is what he got for putting himself in the spotlight.

“Roman, I applaud you for participating in the class discussion,” Their teacher started gently, “but I’m afraid you’re wrong on this one. If you read your textbook close you’d see in the fifth paragraph where it mentions from one of his later letters—“

“Actually Mr. Williams, if I may, Roman is correct.”

Roman saw Logan at his desk, one hand raised while the other adjusted his neck scarf. Was the teacher’s pet actually… backing him up?

“It is a common misconception that Alexander Hamilton only had two children, even more so modernly, what with the musical having only named two of them. However Roman has clearly done his research on the plays historical accuracies, which is more than I can say for some.”

Logan shot a cool but scathing look at their recently snickering classmates and they withered. Roman fought the urge to point and laugh aloud. He did however stick his tongue out real quick. What? He could be shy and petty at the same time.

“My guess,” Logan continued, “is that this textbook edition is also either misprinted or outdated, judging by the publication date in the copyright section.”

Brows furrowed, Terrence looked at the textbook laid open on his desk. He flipped back to the front, before pulling out his cellphone—“I’m the teacher, I’m allowed to do this. You guys aren’t.”—and after what Roman guessed was a quick Google search, their teacher looked up. His eyebrows drawn in a ‘hm, well damn’ expression.

“Looks like you’re right, Roman. And thank you Logan for bringing to my attention about the textbooks. I’ll have to talk to the principal about hopefully getting some updated materials. But we’ll see how that goes,” Terrence, muttered the last part, though Roman was close enough to catch it. Terrence cleared his throat and moved back to the board. “Maybe if we call on assistance from the inside. Much like how the Sons of Liberty sent in Hercules Mulligan to spy on the British...”

“Perhaps if we knew of an immigrant who was unafraid to step in,” Logan said just under his breath.

No one else seemed to notice the reference, but when Roman did, he felt like a mini volcano about to burst rainbow lava. Apparently there was a lot more to his soulmate than first meets the eye; and now that he knew, Roman was determined to see more of it. The rest of class passed quickly and everyone filed out to the halls as the first bell for the last class period of the day rang. Roman made sure to catch up to Logan on the way out and staccato tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, Logan?” He said.

When Logan turned, he swore time slowed down for a moment. The brilliant boy’s skirt flared around his waist, and somehow his skin glowed even under the dull, inconsistent school lights. His posture was erect yet natural, he could have been raised among nobility. Amidst the stench and clamor of loud sweaty students, Logan was as poised and striking as the goddess Athena. Oh...

“Yes, Roman?” Logan asked.

Roman gulped. “I uh, just wanted to thank you for backing me up in there.”

“Thanks are unnecessary,” Logan said. “I detest when someone is shamed by other students for speaking up in class, regardless of whether or not they have the correct information.”

“Well regardless, thanks for coming to my aid in the face of academic danger.”

“Dramatic, but my pleas—oof!”

A hurried passerby bumped into Logan from behind, rushing off with a half-assed ‘sorry’. Logan, caught off guard, stumbled right into Roman’s arms. The two looked at each other, cheeks filling with heat. Roman caught a whiff of something faintly floral on Logan, something natural– a lavender and honeysuckle perfume, perhaps. It was heavenly. They were still in the middle of foot traffic though, so he maneuvered them to the side. Which was tricky since Logan was still so close to him and also a good two inches taller with the heels.

“Well,” Roman flashed his pearly whites. “Seems you’ve fallen for me.”

Logan pulled away, but his lips quirked upwards in a teasing smirk. “Oh please, I merely stumbled into you.”

“Ah, but stumbling is the first step towards being swept off your feet.”

“Bold words from an abashedly charming homunculus in such an… eye catching ensemble.”

Did he call me charming!? He composed himself, “Hey, don’t let the sweater vest fool you. I may be short but I’ve got guns.”

“Aaah. But mind over muscle, as they say. Do you find yourself up to the task?”

“Only if it’s you, my brainy blossom.”

Roman’s class was in the other direction, but Logan didn’t need to know that. They walked through the halls, conversing. class was still in the next ten or so minutes, but Roman was having fun. Banter with Logan felt surprisingly easy. Natural like they’d been at it all their lives.

“By the way, was that a ‘Guns n’ Ships’ reference I overheard, pastel poindexter?” Roman asked.

Logan cleared his throat. “It… may have been, yes. I found myself unable to resist toppling the figurative dominos.”

“In other words, you seized the opportunity you saw,” Roman said, matching his own reference to the source’s cadence, which got a chuckle out of Logan.

“Precisely. Under more casual circumstances, I may have even recited Lafayette’s part.”

“You can rap? You can rap Guns n’ Ships? Like, the whole thing, no tongue twists?”

Logan stopped for a moment, turned to Roman. The taller boy cleared his throat, and after a moment wherein he seemed to mentally restrain himself, he simply adjusted his glasses.  “I have an appreciation for poetry.”

Roman blinked rapidly. Holy shit, he’s an even bigger nerd than I am. He definitely needed to see that at some point.

They turned a corner, stopping just outside of the science room. Some students were going in to take their seats, and the teacher was already making notes on the board. Logan pulled an AP Physics book from his backpack, but made no move to leave, much to Roman’s delight.

“So then,” Roman leaned against the eggshell wall, “How come you acted so indifferent earlier and called my tastes basic? Oh, and I think I remember you also implied I was shallow?”

Okay, yeah, he was still kind of salty about that. But then he saw the shamed look on the nerd’s face, and Roman wished he could have taken it back. Logan looked at his shoes then back at him.

“To be candid I was… hesitant to show the full extent of my enthusiasm. In case you thought I’d be—I believe ‘being the most’ is the term— it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve caused someone to lose interest in conversing with me due to informational overload. I nearly bored my Aunt Patricia to sleep once talking about a fascinating article on jellyfish. And considering how I blundered our initial meeting—“

“Pfft, ya think?” He mentally slapped himself again when Logan went tight-lipped and turned to go. “No, no, wait. I—I’m sorry. Truly. ...Truth is, I was no gentleman either. I’m not always great at thinking before I speak. It’s why I’m so awkward around people. Takes a while for my true charming nature to shine through.”

“Clearly. Still, you show a level of interpersonal aptitude that I, well, lack.” Logan fiddled with his hair pin again and a stray hair came loose. “Reading people and expressing emotions has never really been—It’s something I struggle with.”

Much as Logan tried to maintain his cool composed posturing, Roman could tell that this was something that really bothered him. He tried so hard to seem put together and confident and serious, but really he was just as awkward and insecure as anyone. Roman smiled softly and stepped closer to Logan, reaching up to tuck the loose ebony strand behind his ear.

“Hey, everyone’s got things about themselves they can work on. Including me,” Roman smiled. “And believe me when I say that I will never judge you for being passionate about something you like. So if you ever want someone to ramble about jellyfish or Sweeney Todd to or—I dunno, calculators or something?—I’m all ears.”

Logan’s cheeks went pink and he gave a hesitant yet sincere smile. “That’s...very kind of you, Roman. And coincidentally, I also greatly enjoy Sweeney Todd. The use of iambic pentameter and alliteration to give a succinct synopsis to the story in just the first sentence alone is pure brilliance.”

“Right!? I mean the man’s a mad genius. I’m dying to design sets for one of his musicals someday. Like last year? I came up with the concept of having the Sweeney Todd sets done in a way that highlights the class differences with the characters.” Roman went into a small three minute ramble regarding the specifics before he cut himself off abruptly. Logan was blinking rapidly, a look of mild shock crossing his feature. Roman nearly started sweating; Had he messed this up again?

“That… that’s ingenious”

Roman’s ears were burning. Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!

“Hey, Logan!” They both startled and turned to an impatient cheerleader with a ginger undercut and they/them pronoun pin shaped like a coffin. “What’re you doing just standing out in the hall, ya dork? Oh, hey Roman.”

“Uh. Hey, October,” Roman said, waving awkwardly to them.

“I told ya, Red, you only get to call me that when we’re working on a show.”

“Wait, October? Red? You two know each other?” Logan asked, brow arching.

“Kind of. They sometimes help out with costumes for the drama club,” said Roman. And they have terrible timing. I mean seriously Tobes, we were having a moment.

“Come on Lo, class is about to start, and you promised to go over my homework with me real quick beforehand. See ya ‘round, Ro.” Toby grabbed Logan’s hand and pulled him into the classroom. “You can fill me in on what you were doing with Red later.”

Logan followed his—apparently—friend into their classroom, but he shot Roman an apologetic look over his shoulder. Roman bounced a bit on the balls of his feet before following halfway into the room. Logan was in his seat with Toby showing him an open notebook. A teacher in a tight grey hair bun was writing on the board. Students at their seats were chatting, and some looked up at the short dork in red who burst in. For once Roman ignored them, his mind set on one last attempt at wooing his green skirted genius while he still had the nerve.

“Hey, Logan,” he said. “I’ve also got some great layout designs for an Into the Woods set. If you’re interested, maybe we can meet up after school and I can show them to you? Maybe we talk a bit more over iced lattes or something?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Prince, seventh period starts in five minutes,” said the teacher. “Unless you’ve suddenly transferred to my class, I suggest you stop distracting my favorite student and get going.”

“I’ll be gone in just a second,” he said. “Well?”

Logan smoothed the silky fabric of his pink scarf and said, “That sounds optimal, Roman. I’ll meet with you. By the first floor water fountain perhaps?”

Roman grinned. “I shall be counting the minutes.”

“Mr. Prince,” said the teacher with a warning glare.

Roman blew a kiss at Logan and then ducked out of the doorway. Was he embarrassed of himself? Oh definitely. Did he regret it? Absolutely not. He felt ten inches tall.

Now to complete the quest of making it to class in time. He slid off a shoulder strap to unzip his classic Mickey backpack, getting out the notebook and the relevant homework. He found them amidst the mess of spiral notebooks, granola bar wrappers, two textbooks and rainbow sticky notes. But something was missing from his folder.

“Where are those– it should be here.” He could’ve sworn he had his stapled the blocking notes in his folder. No, wait, the last place he saw them was— “Ah shoot! I left them in the tech closet again.”

Under normal circumstances, Roman would’ve grabbed them after school, but the auditorium was locked on weekends. He’d have to wait till Monday to get them and that just wouldn't do! he wanted to show Logan his notes today! I’ll bet David Korins never has these kinds of problems. Okay, okay. Still got four minutes. He could rush to the auditorium, grab the notes, and then head straight to class. I should have enough time, right? Right. Besides it was only Spanish Class, he was already pretty fluent after all those summers visiting his grandparent in Nicaragua. He spent most of class time dreaming up blocking notes anyway.

Despite not being totally convinced by his own argument, Roman immediately turned on his heel and started running in the opposite direction. After a teacher told him no running in the halls, Roman power walked through the halls with a skip in his step and a song in his heart, feeling absolutely gay in both senses of the word. Logan had actually called his idea ingenious! And the way those sharp eyes softened just for him- he would squeal if not for the fact that it would draw too many eyes to him. The halls were still filled with a few stragglers rushing to the last class of the day, and he was already trying not to get caught being late for class.

Now he knew how Maria felt in West Side Story. Y’know, before Act 2. Oh sure, they’d gotten off to a shaky start, but as the Bard’s adage on the course of true love said; and Roman felt it in his gut that this was certainly the start of true love. Not just with brilliant Logan but also with soulful Patton as well. He didn’t know how an awkward geek like him ever got so lucky in the soulmate department…Then again, there was still the matter of Virgil. So maybe not so lucky.

Roman touched his arm, remembered flustered yet flattering purple words. I know they both said Virgil is secretly sweet and I can sympathize with the terrors of closet town, but COME ON! Virgil? Really? That gloomy gladiator? There had to be a mistake in that. After all, Patton liked to see the good in everyone. Logan was much more of a skeptic, but he does seem to have a blind spot with sarcasm. Maybe Virgil was messing with them somehow. Even if he’s not a jerk jock, the guy’s still kind of a creepazoid; with his dark eyes and cheeta-esq gait and those probably huge muscles hidden under that bulky jacket and big hands...

His gay disaster train of thought came to a merciful halt as he reached the auditorium. Roman pushed open the doors, took a pause to breathe in the quiet comfort of this chapel of the arts. Okay yeah, chapel was maybe a little kind for the school’s auditorium which doubled as the drama Club’s rehearsal space/prop closet backstage/Mx Joan’s unofficial office because the school didn’t fund the arts programs enough. Even so this space was Roman’s sanctuary. The place where he could help create magic from the shadows, bring stories of those gone and living to life. Here, Roman found something of a community with his fellow backstagers, glee club losers, and budding thespians (the nice ones). So he loved every squeaky stage plank, every duck taped seat cushion and every speck of dust that floated in the spot lit air like fairies.

Mx. Joan wasn’t around for once, thankfully. Probably in the teacher’s lounge or rendezvousing with the school nurse or something. They were pretty chill and Roman knew he was their favorite student, but the choir director/drama club moderator/music teacher (this school really needs to fix its funding habits) wouldn’t have been too keen on Roman being deliberately late for class.

Roman walked down the aisle and to the side room by the stage. It was originally a janitor’s closet, but their club moderator transformed it into a ‘Crew Only’ Storage Unit… Okay it was still a closet, but with less bleach and more coils. This was where they kept important equipment for semester shows, like the lighting and sound boards, along with other supplies. Roman made a quick mental note to get more gaffer tape later, seeing their supply was low.

He looked through the small pile of scribbled and highlighted sheets with the lighting cues for the spring show. I’ve really gotta get a binder for these…Ah-Ha! Here you are! Roman pulled out the stapled sheets titled ‘Into the Woods Dream Set’ and carefully shoved them into his bag. Perfect timing too. He might just be able to make it to class after—

RIIIIIIIIIIING

“GAH!”

What the heck? He could’ve sworn he was alone in there, but that yelp just now said otherwise. Up close, Roman saw that the curtains were rustling, accompanied by sounds of heavy breathing and moaning, yet not a footstep to be seen or heard.

Holy SHIT, this place IS haunted! I KNEW that backdrop fiasco last semester wasn’t caused by cheap slit plywood. My supplies are the best quality allowance money can buy. Great Macbeth’s bloody knife, I TOLD Kai we should've sprung for a ghost light! Remus always teased him for being superstitious but look who’s laughing now.

He dashed back into the crew closet and grabbed the heavy push broom leaning in the corner. Roman Prince was NOT about to be caught unawares and possessed by the ghost of a disgruntled student without a fight. He would defend his domain of imagination!

Roman slowly climbed the stage steps, wielding his broom like a bow staff, turned the curtain corner where the noises were coming from and was about to release a war cry on the—

“Virgil?”

Roman nearly dropped his weapon at the sight of Virgil Alighieri—star athlete, object of his fears and supposed soulmate—curled in on himself trembling and crying.

His jacket was pulled over his head like a hood, yet Roman could see the tear stained face peeking out from underneath. Virgil’s eyes were squeezed tight, making the dark circles he’d never noticed before more prominent. There was no denying the athlete had muscle but he was more lithe—thin enough for Roman to wonder if the guy ate enough. Virgil’s trembling could rival a chihuahua, shaky hands clutching his knees, and he was clearly in the midst of a bad panic attack.

Roman had built Virgil up in his mind as being like some odd combination of Hades and Ares. The strong silent wolf within his pack of jocks, a surging thunderstorm just waiting for the right nerd to come along and piss him off enough to strike down like the bolt of Zeus.

Someone to be afraid of.

But now? Seeing him in this state, all alone and whimpering like a wounded animal...it broke Roman’s heart.

He set the broom down gently and carefully crouched down in front of Virgil. “Virgil,” he said softly. “Virgil, can you hear me?”

Virgil let out a breathy sob but otherwise didn’t seem to register him. Just how long had he been sitting here like this?

Roman was at a loss for what to do. Sure he knew plenty of people with anxiety but never saw someone having an actual panic attack before. He did know that if he didn’t help the other calm down soon, Virgil was liable to pass out. He’d never wanted to hug someone so badly in his life. Roman tentatively reached out a hand but stopped. What if touching him makes it worse? What if I startle him so badly he actually has a heart attack!? Maybe I should get the nurse. But I can’t just leave him like this.

He caught sight of the colorful soulmarks written on Virgil’s arm. Saw his own harsh thoughts: ’Dios mio, he’s staring right at me—like he wants to punch my face!’ 

Roman took his shame and forged it into steel. I won’t abandon you...my soulmate.

Virgirl’s let out a hiccuped cry, and this gave Roman an idea. Something from back when he was a child. It was probably stupid and a long stretch, but it was all he could think of. He readjusted himself so that he was now sitting right next to Virgil, making sure not to startle him. Roman cleared his throat, then as softly as he could, he began to sing.

“Come stop your crying, it’ll be alright.

Just take my hand, hold it tight.”

Roman one and carefully gentled his hand over Virgil’s. After a moment, he felt a light squeeze, and that encouraged him to keep going.

“I will protect you from all around you.

I will be here, don’t you cry…”

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[malinaagenda]

henlo sorry if this is a weird ask, but i've returned to tumblr after a loooooong while to have somewhere to scream about s&b but my feed is so dry. i was wondering if you have any grishaverse blog recs that aren't heavy on the d*rkling. i deal with that cult enough on twitter sksksk

I had a twitter for like 2 minutes and then I deactivated like nah i’m too soft for that place i’m a whole ass baby, NEVER AGAIN. And I hear what goes on there so I don’t blame you!!

I don’t actually know a lot of grishaverse blogs so lemme just shout out the amazing people I follow! And ofc the people I see popping off positively towards mal/alina/the crows in my feed that I haven’t had time to go through and follow from my main etc. 

I think a couple of these do rb the d*rkling but it’s more of a “he’s an interesting villain” for them. I only follow Malina shippers but also be aware a few of these are multifandom. THOUGH IF ANYONE WANTS TO LIKE POP OFF IN THE COMMENTS!!!! If you don’t stan batboy so this anon can take a look!!

OK SO first off the people i followed before i even made this blog

@theons  @jessiemeili @iinejs  

people i see in my notifs!

@malyenoretsevv  @zzenik @daggery  @malinaa  @tianphu @evanbuckleys @malyenfromkeramzin 

Anon I think a good judge also is going through the tags on Malina edits and seeing how people react to them? I’m sorry I don’t have many friends so i’m of little use but i hope that helped and it wasn’t weird at all!!!

[badger-bear]

Fic Writer Questions

Thank you @disgruntledkittenface for the tag! I loved reading your answers and I’m excited to answer too.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

46

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

222,272

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

2 but I don’t know if you can count one. The one I write for now is 1d and in the past I wrote hockey au’s. 

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Run Right Into You 

Let’s Go To The Beach 

Every Time We Touch 

It’s My Job to Protect You - for some reason this fic has always been my most popular and I don’t know why. I wrote it so long ago, I posted it in 2013 but I’m sure I wrote it a year before that. It was my most popular on the other fan fic site I used as well. 

There You Go Making Me Love You - this is so fucking embarrassing lmao please remember that this was written in like 2012 and it was one of the first fics I have ever written. Same with the one above.

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably Downgraded, which was inspired by quarantine and The Office. It’s not quite ansty as it is sad. 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Uhm, Downgraded is the only fic with a sad ending so this one is kind of difficult for me to choose. I wrote a 5 times Plus 1 fic back in like 2012 that probably has the happiest ending. It was a Ziam and it was five times they’re daughter woke up Zayn and the one time Zayn woke her up on her wedding day.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

No, I mean do au’s count? I don’t think so.

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Definitely, whatever I think is hot. 

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

For the most part yes! Especially the ones that have left something about what they like about the fic, that always makes me so so so happy. But I try to at least say thank you. I know my fics aren’t popular and objectively speaking, especially the ones from back in the day, they aren’t very good but I’m constantly trying to be better. So when someone takes the time to say they liked what I wrote I want to acknowledge that. 

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Mm, no. I wrote a fic a loooooong time ago I posted on the old site I used and this person kept commenting how much they enjoyed it and the parts they liked and when I posted the final chapter they said it could have been better lol Which isn’t hate, its an opinion but it was confusing at the time since they seemed to like it before.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah, but I think it was just a bot or something. My friend managed to catch it and I was able to report it.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

No unless they did it after I said no.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes but nothing that has been posted online. My ex girlfriend and I used to cowrite all the time. 

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Larry but I will read mostly every other pairing. 

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

There’s too many to count. But probably my pop punk Louis fic. I have tried to rework it a thousand times and it’s just not clicking.

16) What are your writing strengths?

This is hard for me to answer because I don’t want it to seem like i am fishing for compliments or whatever. I don’t think I am very good and while I love writing and I will keep writing and trying to get better, it’s hard to think positively when I just don’t think I’m very good. So I suppose I think my strength is coming up with ideas and persevering despite my self-doubt and imposter syndrome. 

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Fuck dude, what isn’t? Endings though!!!! I’m terrible at conclusions but also grammar.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I haven’t done it until very very recently. It makes me nervous because I don’t know the language (Italian) and I don’t want to get it wrong so I will definitely be looking for help before I even think about publishing it. (I’d have to actually write it first though lol)

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

1D

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I haven’t written it yet. That’s a shit answer isn’t it? The real answer is actually an original work but I don’t think that counts either. So I guess I’ll go with Medicine Baby Take My Medicine  because Victoria was my beta and she was lovely and helped me so much and it was so nice to work with her. 

I want to read everyone answer these because I find it super interesting! But I will tag @larryatendoftheday @chloehl10 @absoloutenonsense

[tsrookie]

Alright, so today’s the three-year anniversary of Reputation a.k.a the greatest album of all time, my baby, the light of my life, the album that deserved a Grammy (trying desperately not to think about the scene from Miss Americana😭), the album that introduced us to the most beautiful couple ever, the album that shut Kimye up, and I better stop now, or else I’m not gonna shut up.

So in honour of this momentous occasion (and the fact that I reached 200+ followers! Thank you so much you guys!🥺 Love you all 3000💙), here’s a loooooong post on why Reputation is the Ethan and MC album.

1. ...Ready For It?

No one has to know

Throwback to MC saying the exact same words back in Miami.

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

You should see the things we do, baby, mmm

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

I know I'm gonna be with you

So I take my time

Remember back when MC asked for Ethan to get into bed right away during their first time? Ethan told them that he had dreamt about the moment for months, so he wasn’t going to rush it.

2. End Game

Big reputation, big reputation

Ooh you and me would be a big conversation

These two dating would be the talk of the hospital, and they know it.

Even when we'd argue, we don't do it for long

And you understand the good and bad, end up in the song

For all your beautiful traits, and the way you do it with ease

For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities

Think these lines are pretty self-explanatory😌

I hit you like bang

We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't

*gets war flashbacks of the ‘reset’ phase*😭 They tried to make it work, but we all know how Ch 8 of book 2 went😌

I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me

Perfect for our chaotic MC😌

3. Don’t Blame Me

Do I... really have to explain this one?

For you, I would cross the line

I would waste my time

I would lose my mind

They say she's gone too far this time

Do we need a recap of our rule-breaking MC?

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

If you walk away

I'd beg you on my knees to stay

He was willing to risk his (mostly) rule-abiding reputation for being with MC. And there’s no way he wouldn’t beg for MC not to leave him if he ever screwed up🤷‍♀️

4. Delicate

This ain't for the best

My reputation's never been worse, so

You must like me for me

Ethan stood by MC’s side throughout the Ethics hearing, when her reputation was completely smeared, and people only saw her as a patient murderer. He didn’t know about the sabotages, but he would’ve definitely supported her if he had known.

We can't make

Any promises now, can we, babe?

Commitment-phobia🙃

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep

Are you ever dreaming of me?

Sometimes when I look into your eyes

I pretend you're mine, all the damn time

They spent so much of time apart, not able to be with each other, so the least they could do was dream of being with each other all the time.

5. So It Goes (an underrated af bop)

What can I say... it’s a sex song, okay? Don’t make me go into the details😂 Just listen to the lyrics, and all will be clear.

6. Gorgeous (Tumblr won’t let me put any more links)

MC’s eternal anthem to Ethan.

Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine

You've ruined my life, by not being mine

We all know Ethan loves Whiskey, and the second line? C’mon!

You're so gorgeous

I can't say anything to your face

'Cause look at your face

And I'm so furious

At you for making me feel this way

But, what can I say?

You're gorgeous

Ethan Ramsey is famous for two reasons. One: his smart brain, I guess😒 Two: HIS LOOKS!!! HE’S GORGEOUS, AND DON’T DENY IT.

And you should think about the consequence

Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)

Ah, the olden days of hand holding in the diagnostics office🥺

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine

I feel like I might sink and drown and die

No explanation required.

You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah

There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have

You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad

The wonderful will-they-won’t-they saga. The frustrating hot-and-cold behaviour. The ‘We can’t’, ‘It’s unethical’ and ‘It’s complicated’. MC deserves an award for her patience😓

7. King Of My Heart

I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own

I made up on my mind, I'm better off bein' alone

Ethan ‘I don’t believe in soulmates and nobody’s waiting at home’ Ramsey.

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

This could be from both Ethan and MC’s perspectives. The love they share isn’t something that you get easily. It’s something that MC has waited for her whole life, and something Ethan never knew he needed, but now can’t live without🥺

Late in the night, the city's asleep

Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

Change my priorities

The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

This was definitely Ethan throughout book 2, after he finally gave in. He let go of his previous rules and regulations, especially during the time of the attack. He was clearly affected, and once MC was alright, his main priority was her, and her alone.

Is the end of all the endings?

My broken bones are mending

With all these nights we're spending

Ethan’s been burnt a lot in the past. But all those wounds are now healing thanks to MC.

Up on the roof with a school girl crush

Drinking beer out of plastic cups

They act like lovesick teenagers around each other, like, that’s literally their description if you choose to kiss Ethan for the first time in Chapter 14 of book 2!😅

Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff

Baby, all at once, this is enough

We all know about his initial fear of his mother reaching out to him for the sake of his money. To him, MC not talking advantage of him is a pretty big deal, even though it’s never mentioned. You just know, you know?🥺

8. Dancing With Our Hands Tied

My, my love had been frozen

Deep blue, but you painted me golden

Again, Ethan doesn’t have the best experience with love. But MC changed that.

I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted

This could go both ways, cause they’re both piping hot messes😬 (but love each other anyway🥺)

The rest of this song could have made so much more sense for them if we had gotten some sort of a secret relationship storyline. But oh well, I’m definitely not complaining about the gala😌 (and definitely not believing any of the supposed cancelled storylines)

9. Dress

Our secret moments

In a crowded room

They got no idea

About me and you

I mean... pretty obvious😌

Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

This is practically Ethan’s train of thought, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

As for the rest of the steamier lyrics... I’ll um... let you guys listen to it yourselves😁

10. Call It What You Want

I wrote an entire fic inspired by this song, so excuse me for the shameless self-promo, but go give it a read?🥺👉👈(totally fine if you don’t! I’ve probably made so many posts about this song that y’all know the meaning anyway😅)

11. New Years Day

Don't read the last page

But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away

I want your midnights

But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

MC has always stayed by Ethan’s side, even when he’s pushed her away. These lines perfectly explain how she wants his worst times, and his best, the midnights they spend staying up together, and the moments where it’s just the two of them, when everyone else has left, like the aftermath of a New Years party (still mad at the fact that we didn’t get to see the gang celebrate New Year together😭)

I'll be there if you're the toast of the town babe

Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

The above explanation for these lines as well.

Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

Becoming strangers to each other would be their worst nightmares. Knowing that the other was out there in the world somewhere, but not being in their lives would kill them.

You and me forevermore

These two are each other’s soulmate, they know it, even if they haven’t said it yet. Forever wouldn’t be enough for them to shower each other with they love they hold for each other. But it’s a good start.

——————————

If you guys made it this far, then I honestly love you more than words can ever express🥺💙 Thanks for putting up with my Swiftie-Directioner-Ethan stan ass, cause I dunno if I’d ever be able to handle someone like myself. And if you read all the above stuff, then I hope you wanna know why this album means so much to me.

Reputation is perceived as a dark album, when in reality it’s truly about finding love amongst all the noise. This album, and Taylor and Joe’s story, taught me what true love actually is, and Ethan and MC cemented that. This album and these two couples (quite literally) saved my life.

The most beautiful part about both these relationships is that even though they never showed it openly, for the sake of their relationships, both Ethan(in the story) and Joe stood by the side of the one’s they loved, despite half of the people who they knew hating on them, or betraying them. And I think that’s what’s truly important. Forming a true relationship like that, be it platonic or romantic, is long lasting, and I hope everyone finds those kind of people to fill their hearts with. Sending much love, and sorry for being a huge sap😅💙

Tagging a couple of my Swiftie homies: @swiftlydarcy @nikki-2406 @dxnicaramsey @kaavyaethanramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @drariellevalentine @justanotherrookie

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so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.