#haven’t fully processed this yet
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Almost died tonight while with a friend I hadn’t seen in 3 years. Like what are the odds
#car accident tw#no like literally a car almost hit us and the crashed in front of us#never had a near death experience before so we’re just riding the waves at this point#adrenaline rush#haven’t fully processed this yet#Will definitely cry about it later#had to call 911#like#acab#but#please help
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hater has disturbing reoccurring dreams about wander crawling inside his ribcage that always have him waking up in a cold sweat [they just feel too real and hater can’t place why]. wander has reoccurring dreams of hater ceremoniously destroying him with the Disaster Blaster and it’s the one dream he doesn’t eagerly blab to sylvia about because he doesn’t know how to tell her that it never feels like a nightmare. soooo is anyone else sick in the head or is it just me
#wander over yonder#woy#im having a lot of thoughts about their dynamic#it’s weird bc. i don’t necessarily see them as making for a good ship [RAISES HANDS DEFENSIVELY] and let me explain!#i haven’t quite finished the show yet but like. while they definitely have the potential for yaoi. i cannot imagine what it would look like#for hater to actually… reform and reach a healthy balance in his life. it would be AWESOME to see#but i just… he has so far to go and it feels like while wander could be the catalyst for change within hater. he couldn’t feasibly Fix him#does that make any sense??#either way i Do enjoy the ship! i just feel like it’s very important to point out that there is no canon scenario where it’s not toxic#at least not within the immediate future. yafeel#anyhoooooo#gear diary#wander#lord hater#ALSO to elaborate on my actual post: it’s worth mentioning that hater was unconscious for the rib cage thing#and i think by the time he finally perked up. it’s safe to say that he never fully processed what wander had done#at least from what i remember#as for wander. obviously he doesn’t Want to die. but The Big Day was hugely important to him#as his singular mutually happy memory between him and hater. and by the end of it all#he was fully prepared to just…. let hater fire. if he thought it could make hater happy.#do y’all ever think about that because i do 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
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wet on wet, attempts at some art therapy at home
#art#watercolor#abstract#i suppose!#my art#i’ve been going THROUGH it this year dear lord#and my art has taken a beating for sure#well maybe not the art itself just the feeling around it#i haven’t been able to let loose in so long#so today i decided to just do it!!!#i used my kuretake gansai tambi and a big ol brush and no palette#i just let the paint do its thing#my favorite is the first one#or the second#hm#this year has been so so much to handle and we’re not quite out of the woods yet#and on top of everything else i’ve had to heal from traumatic experiences#that i gained *at* therapy which is so painfully ironic#old ladies who don’t believe in autistic girls existing (basically) and deny my pain only because i’m young#have no place in the therapy world#she did and said a lot of other things that hurt me so deeply that it’ll take months to fully process it all :’D
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This week has been full of ups and downs
#I passed my dissertation#which is so exciting and such a relief to be fully done with my masters program#but my cousin passed away unexpectedly#which is obviously devastating and I haven’t really processed it yet#anyway I’ll probably still be active on here as a distraction
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reading the boy and the heron (or, how do you live) reviews and seeing lots of “it was pretty, but i didn’t like it cause it was weird and random and didn’t make sense and messy,” which is a critique you’re allowed to have; i just find it funny in comparison to my own, because i was like ooooh pretty colors… tiny unhinged homicidal boy… The War……….. squishy fellas…. Hot lady…..
#yea I’ll fully admit i haven’t processed the movie yet#but i just feel like not getting it doesn’t take away from how enjoyable it was yk#idk why xyz happened but it was fun!#the boy and the heron
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A mini Meiro ref
#keese draws#oc art#oc#furry#I’m still working on her stuff but I adore her so much#I also need to decide what other materials were used to make each of the main characters#for context when having a kid in this world you first make a plush (or doll) and then give up some of your life magic#this process can include any number of ppl and it’s usually safer with more ppl but it’s also important that the child has the same or#similar material as the parent(s)#and these materials do not have to be traditional materials used in toys but again it pretty much entirely depends on the family line#on the continent that the main cast are all from plushies are most common but there’s some dolls#one of raiden’s parents was a doll and as such their skin was made of porcelain#I have some vague ideas for what textures the others have but not rly specific material#which doesn’t Technially matter but it matters To Me#it mostly only matters when one of them is hurt bad enough that they’d need patch work done#so basically a skin transplant#usually their bodies are more on the organic side until they get injured#so like if you had a glass doll they wouldn’t literally be made of glass most the time even if they kind of looked like it#they also wouldn’t carry all the properties of glass endless they were injured#so they wouldn’t have to worry about falling over and shattering lol#but if they did get injured it’d probably be really fucking annoying to heal#there Is some healing magic out there but it’s usually pretty hyper specific sorts of healing#but yeah most of the cast are made with softer materials that can be stitched closed so they have less to worry abt#except for raiden rip bozo#well choice might be closer to cardboard I haven’t decided yet#cardboard was definitely used for them but they might have a layer of fabric over it#but yeah for meiro I’m imagining smth more silky? haven’t fully decided yet tho
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my grandma died this morning
because of shavuot, shabbat, and memorial day, the funeral won’t be until wednesday
which feels like a long time?? i know they embalmed my grandpa (he wasn’t observant but it’s a jewish cemetery so in hindsight i’m surprised) so they’ll probably do the same for her
what in the world do people do who ARE observant and have holidays stacked on top of each other like this? :(
#still in my processing stage#which is why i am thinking of halachic questions#emotions haven’t really fully hit me yet#like a water pulling out before a tsunami#grateful that i’m going to be with community tonight#and that shabbat is tomorrow night#jumblr#my posts#grief cw
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mutuals i got myself into a situation so sticky i don’t even know how to describe it (edit: *describes it* lol). please send thoughts of successful escape my way lol
#purrs#delete later#i SONT understand anything about retirement or insurance whatever and basically imightve signed a contract for smth i didn’t understand#fully and im so scared lol. and i feel so bad bc im stupid and i don’t understand anything and no matter how much peopel#xolain it to me i don’t understand it. i feel like a stupid silly naive little girl rn LOLLLLL i feel so sick#it’s probably fine and not that bad and i didn’t do the wrong step but im freaking out. not just bc of the money situation but also bc they#have to do a. medical exam on me to see how much i would have to pay or whatever 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 wtf#im making it sound like a big bad scary freak thing isigned up for when really it’s not i don’t thin&. it’s just dividend lige insirance but#i don’t understand what any of it means and apparently other stuff is better. idk anything about retirement i only got into this stupid#situation because i had a mandatory retirement selection for work and ididnt understand anything so i scheduled a meeting with a retirement#counselor person to help me figure out which option would be the best for me and he was really nice and helped me a lot but then he started#saying he could help me w additional retirement stuff if i wanted to see what the options were and i was like sure and then he told me abt t#this thing and had me fill out / sign the application in that same meeting to ‘get the process started bc it takes. a long time’ even if i d#decided to pull out later it would be a good thing to get the ball rolling asap if i did end up wanting to do it. but i didn’t understand an#anythi ng and i went along with it anyway and now i might’ve fucked myself over so bad. except i probably didn’t but i feel so bad. bc he wa#was so nice and genuine but maybe he was just trying to sell me a product bc he gets a commission from the insurance company which i he told#me wheni asked him if im getting his help for free. i feel so stupid and guilty omg#and also i signed up for my first credit card but the interest rates are really high which i didn’t realize. and i can’t log into the bank a#account for some reason liek it says my acc doesn’t work. and hr fucked up my pay so i haven’t gotten a time sheet for like 2 pay periods an#and im getting retroactively paid in august but it’s just one more fucking thing and i haven’t gotten the chance to pick new benefits yet#and idk if i can / will bc of my stupid pay situation like i literaly don’t exist in the system rn apparently. i fucking hate all of this i#hate adulting i hate it i hate it i want to explode and hide forever and cry a lot. and my bank account isn’t even my own rn and i don’t und#understand anything about mony or insurance or benefits or credit cards or anything. im so overwhelmed FUCK
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also
yeah
that was the most haunting promo i’ve ever seen from Sting
#aew dynamite#sting#darby allin#darbyallin#i’m not ready for revolution#i haven’t fully processed yet
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Please pray for the soul of my cousin who just passed and our whole family. She was only in her 20s
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March 8, 2023
Oh yeah, forgot to mention uhhhhh
Today’s my birthday 🥳
#dove speaks#limbo speaks#birthday#birthday post#I’m old#old enough to drive now#yayyyyy#so much stuff happened today and I haven’t fully processed it yet#the day isn’t even over yet omg
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got hit by a car last night and still the most traumatic thing to happen was my roommate told me they’ve had a tumblr all along
#obligatory I am fine! just whiplash and I was a passenger so it wasn’t my car that got mangled#elliot should shut up challenge#probably haven’t processed it yet bc i immediately started making a joke out of it to try and keep my roommate from having a panic attack#but cést la vie lmao#the way they were fully in shock and i was like ‘let’s sing the ducktales theme song now!’ bc i didn’t know what else to do dbsksvsksbsksb#anyways getting hit and run is so unslay. but now we have fresh new jackbox fodder
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.
#i know this was truly a year of self reflection for me#like even this trip is really proving it#i’ve been through so much in my life#i’ve braved so many vast and scary things that i didn’t realize most people didn’t have to brave ever in their lives#life’s been scary but i’m really trying to harness the energy of the unknown#i’ve been through too much to not remember that life isn’t granted#i’m so scared for my future but i’m doing my best to not waste it#it’s not fucking worth it to waste it#i haven’t fully processed this year yet because i really toughed through it#processing it will take lots of tears and turmoil but i’m excited for it#this will be a year that i’ll be telling people about 40 years from now#i met so many people on all my trips that reminded me why life is worth living#i’m really proud of myself for what i pulled through#not only just this year but my whole life#i��m a wonder; a spirited little wildflower#my life is only just starting#if i can get through what i’ve gotten through my whole life; i can get through anything#i hope i can get through what i’m going through now#i know i’m a wonder but i don’t know what stable support is#it’s tough relying only on myself#i’m too trusting and not trusting enough#may divine beings bless me with the support and energy i put out flowing back to me with love and joy and adventure and compassion
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You will be warm when you die
You will be held
I’ll coo soft words in your ear
And gently preen your feathers
At the end of your life, I
will keep you dry
and make sure the kids aren’t too loud
You’ll curl into the shape of my palm
I promise to sing to you
A song about soaring
And hiccup from crying between verses
But i know you won’t mind
You’re going to chirp softly and close your eyes
As I enchant with a lullaby of starry skies
And my heart will skip a beat when you stop nodding along
But I’ll keep singing your song till it is done
My father will tell me to wash my hands
And erase any trace of you
“It might have had the flu” he’ll beg
but this hour is dedicated to you
because when you die you’ll be held and warm
and your feathers will be preened and
I’ll sing you your song
because i refuse to let you die alone
#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#therian#spilled feelings#spilled poem#spilled poetry#spilled words#spilled writing#i haven’t posted in a while#so excuse my messy writing#but the baby bird in the nest by the door died today#and I took care of it when it did#and because of that I refuse to let you go the same way#I did my best but I wish I could do more#I hope it felt nothing but love#because of that I’m not going to edit this one#not yet#it’s still too early to weave my words right when I still haven’t fully processed its death#if you’re reading this#and by now you would have figured out who you are#this is a promise#I intend to keep it#unedited#no beta we die like men
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Funerals are the worst type of family reunions.
#my grandfather (technically step-grandfather/granduncle but who cares) just passed away#it’s not a funeral yet but most of the family is currently here at my grandparents’ home#it’s basically a family reunion but with many people crying#of course i’m also upset#but i haven’t fully processed the fact itself#plus i think i experience grief differently#raya vents
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bsf!seungcheol watching you ride a dildo
— where your bestfriend!seungcheol wants his shirt back, but he searches for it inside the wrong drawer.
WARNINGS: +18, smut, sex toys, ''cock'' riding, clit stimulation, lub, voyeurism?, fingering, penetrative sex, reader feels the ''real thing'' after, dildo sucking, dirty talk, choking, overwhelming.
KINKTOBER MASTERLIST
“yo, y/n, where’s that shirt i left at yours the other day? the black one, with the holes,” seungcheol’s voice booms from your bedroom, and you can hear him already rummaging through your wardrobe like it’s his own. typical. you’re still in the bathroom, pulling a shirt over your head, eyes rolling at how this guy feels so at home in your space, no hesitation.
“it’s in the drawer, you dumbass,” you yell back, adjusting your shirt in the mirror, not giving it a second thought.
and then it hits you.
oh fuck. that drawer. the one you’ve recently swapped out for all your, uh, extra stuff. your eyes widen, and a bolt of panic shoots through your veins. not the t-shirts and gym clothes drawer anymore, no—your sex drawer now, fully stocked and thriving.
you bolt out of the bathroom, hair still a mess, nearly tripping over your own feet, “seungcheol, no! wait—”
too late. he’s standing there, drawer halfway open, a look of pure shock frozen on his face. it’s like time slows down and you can almost hear the dramatic, “dun-dun-dunnnn” playing in the background as his eyes lock on something you really didn’t want him to see.
the dildo. baby pink. glittery. silicone, with a ridiculously realistic head.
“what... the… fuck,” he mumbles, staring at it like it’s an alien. his hand’s on the drawer handle, and he’s so still, like he can’t quite process what’s in front of him. if it was just the lube, or even the handcuffs, maybe you could’ve salvaged this situation. maybe. but nope, he’s standing there like he’s seen the holy grail, except it’s your new glitter dildo, glistening under the light like a perverse disco ball.
you skid to a stop, face burning up. “cheol, no—don't—” but he’s already got it in his hand, holding it up like it’s some kind of trophy. a fucking trophy.
he gives it a little shake, slapping it against his palm with a dumb grin. “y/n… never pegged you for a glitter girl. this—” he waves it around, the thing jiggling like some obscene party favor. “—is this what you’re into now? pink, sparkly dicks?”
you slap your hand over your face, mortified, “it’s new! i—it’s not even—i haven’t—just give it back, jesus christ!”
but he’s inspecting it now, like he’s doing some kind of in-depth analysis. his eyebrows raise, and he looks from it to you, back to it. “it’s not that big, though, right? not thicker than me, at least.” he looks way too smug for your liking, like he’s just cracked some inside joke.
“cheol!” you squeal, lunging forward to grab it, but he pulls it out of reach, shaking his head like you’re a kid trying to snatch candy from a shelf.
“nah, nah,” he chuckles, “hold up, hold up. i just… i just didn’t expect this from you. like, c’mon, this? you could’ve called me. i would’ve come running, y’know. no need to settle for this sparkly piece of shit.”
you’re fully red now, your fingers gripping his forearm as you try and close the drawer with your hip, but he keeps it open, the dildo still in his grip. “cheol, i swear to god, give it back.”
he twirls it like it’s a damn baton, slapping it lightly against his hand again. “so, like... is it better than the real thing? huh?”
“no, oh my god, no! i haven’t even—just—shut up!” you try again to snatch it back, but he’s stronger than you and absolutely milking this moment.
“mmm,” he hums, biting the inside of his cheek like he’s deep in thought, “i bet you’ve been riding this thing at night, hm? fuckin’ bouncing on it, lights out, all alone in this big-ass bed…” his words trail off, teasing, and you want to crawl into a hole and die, right there.
“cheol, stop, i’m not—i haven’t even used it yet, okay?” you sputter, still trying to grab it, but your words only seem to encourage him.
“oh? you haven’t? huh… well,” he holds it up, wiggling it under the light, “why don’t you show me how you would? like, y’know, ride it for me.” the way he says it, dead serious, makes you stop. his voice drops lower, and suddenly the room feels hotter. “c’mon, y/n. don’t be shy. give me a little demo.”
“cheol, stop it. i’m already embarrassed enough,” you say, feeling your breath catch in your throat. your cheeks burn. he just grins, settling back into the chair at your vanity, his eyes practically glinting.
“don’t be shy now,” he says, but you can hear the tease dripping from every word. his back rests against the wall, arms lazily crossed, as if he’s got all the time in the world to watch you squirm. you can’t even deny the flutter of heat that’s been coiling inside you since this whole thing started.
you let out a shaky breath, reaching for the lube, the sound of the cap clicking open feeling way too loud in the stillness of the room. you get on your knees, your fingers tremble as you coat the bottom of the dildo with it, sticking it to the floor, the suction strong as it holds in place. every nerve in your body is hyper-aware of his eyes on you. watching. waiting.
you slowly tug down your shorts and panties, trying to shield yourself as much as possible, your oversized shirt covering your lower half. it’s stupid to feel shy now, considering what you’re about to do, but you still shake your head when he says, “take that shirt off too.”
“n-no,” you stutter, cheeks flushing. you glance at him through your lashes as you start to spread the lube on the dildo, your hand sliding up and down, coating it thoroughly. the way you grip it, the slow strokes—it’s almost automatic, the sight of it in your hand makes his jaw clench, and you can practically hear his breath catch.
he shifts in his seat, eyes glued to the movement of your hand. he swallows thickly, his gaze darkening, and you can see the tension building in his body. it’s not just teasing anymore—he’s feeling this, just as much as you are.
“fuck,” he mutters under his breath, his eyes not leaving the way your hand moves, the way the lube makes the dildo glisten. for a split second, it’s like he can’t even blink, like if he does, he might miss something.
you feel your body flush even more, and you bite your lip as you spread your legs slightly, reaching down with your lubed-up fingers to ease yourself open. “look away for a sec,” you mumble.
he scoffs, eyes narrowing, but he closes them. still, you know better than to think he’s not peeking—there’s no way he’s fully shutting you out. and sure enough, you catch him with one eye cracked open, watching, his arms crossed over his chest trying to look calm and shit, but his body clearly stiffen up. the slick sounds of your fingers working you open fill the air, and you can’t help the small whimpers that escape your lips. each one seems to hit him like a punch, his eyes flickering, the sound driving him crazy.
you can feel your own wetness mixing with the lube as you stretch yourself, prepping so you can sit on it. your breath hitches as you pull your hand away, finally sitting back up on your knees. “i’m gonna… i’m sliding on it now,” you whisper, like saying it aloud makes it even more real.
his—both—eyes snap open at that, and he leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, staring hard. “yeah? let me see,” oh, he had his soothed voice, and you can feel the his gaze on you.
your body trembles as you line yourself up, one hand braced on the floor in front of you for support as the other lined the toy. the first contact makes you bite your bottom lip, your pussy lips parting as you sink down, the head of the dildo stretching you slowly. you let out a soft moan, your body reacting to the stretch, the feel of the silicone sliding inside.
“shit,” you breathe out, your head falling forward as you lower yourself further, taking more of it in—the cool, smooth silicone pushing into you, the lube making everything slick and easy. the way it presses against your inner walls has you clenching around it, your muscles pulsing as you adjust.
you can feel seungcheol’s eyes on you, locked onto the way your body reacts, the small tremors running through you. his fingers twitch, his hands squeezing each other so tightly you swear his knuckles are turning almost purple.
he’s almost breathless from just watching. you feel so full, the stretch making your hips shake as you rock slightly, sliding the dildo deeper inside. the pressure builds as your pussy hugs the toy, the texture of it rubbing against you in all the right places.
your shirt brushes against the floor as you lean forward, hips grinding down, taking the dildo all the way in. your hand clutches the floor for balance, the other gripping your thigh as you start to move, slowly at first, testing how much you can take. each slide has you gasping, your wetness mixing with the lube, creating obscene, slick sounds that echo through the room.
seungcheol’s eyes are practically burning holes into you, his breath coming out in short, shallow pants. you can feel his tension, his need to see everything, to watch every reaction, every twitch of your body as you ride the dildo.
“c’mon… let me see your face, baby,” he sulks in a greedy way.
but you shake your head again, hiding behind your hair, your chest heaving as the pleasure builds, too shy to meet his gaze. your pussy tightens around the toy as you rock your hips, the friction making your thighs shake, your moans escaping louder now, uncontrollable.
he leans in even closer, eyes dark and heavy, and it feels like he’s about to explode just from watching. his voice drops, “take that shirt off.”
“cheollie…” your voice cracks, finally looking at him for the first time since you started riding the toy. the moment your eyes meet his, the intensity nearly floors you. he’s been watching you with such focus, so goddamn turned on, and you can see it all over his face—his chest heaving, his lips slightly parted, the eyebrows knit together.
he’s so still for a second, but his eyes flick down to where the toy disappears inside you, watching how your pussy swallows the dildo, and it’s like he can’t hold it in anymore. “lift it up a little, just a little,” he says.
with a shaky breath, you slowly raise the hem of your shirt, pulling it up until it rests just under your belly button, feeling the cool air against your sopping cunt. the moment he sees you fully exposed, he lets out a low groan, like he’s moaning right along with you. his eyes are glued to the way your body moves, the way your slick drips down onto the floor as you rock your hips harder.
“fuck, you’re dripping all over,” he mutters, his eyes flicking between your face and the obscene sight below you. you’re too overwhelmed to even process the words fully, but when you feel his gaze lingering a bit too much, like he’s inspecting every little detail, you can’t help but try to hide again.
you quickly cover yourself with your hand, right over your clit, your other hand flying to the floor to support yourself as your head falls back, mouth open as a loud moan escapes. it’s getting too good now, the way the toy presses up against your walls.
you circle your clit with the hand covering you, the added stimulation making your moans uncontrollable, rolling your hips harder and faster on the dildo. “fuck, cheol… oh my god…” your voice is all breathy and desperate, and you can feel his eyes on you, burning, drinking in every reaction.
he leans forward again, elbows resting on his knees, his voice dropping even lower, almost a growl. “does it feel good, baby? look at you, fucking yourself like that. is it really better than the real thing?”
you shake your head, gasping for air, unable to form any real words as your hips move on their own, chasing the high that’s building. his voice is like gasoline on a fire, making everything burn hotter, the pleasure consuming you. you can't even look him in the eye, too mortified by how good this feels, by how badly you want more, maybe how badly you want... him?
“ride it like it’s me,” he rasps, and you almost choke on your own breath at the words. “pretend it’s my cock you’re bouncing on. ride it like you’d ride me.”
your whole body freezes for a second, the words sinking in, and your mind spins, caught between the fantasy and the reality of what’s happening. the thought of him, of riding him instead of the toy—it makes you instantly clench around the soft silicone.
you breathe in sharply, your chest heaving as you press your hand back on the floor, leaning forward. the angle change gives him the perfect view, your ass sticking out behind you, uncovered, as you start to bounce on the dildo, your knees moving in and out as you grind down harder. your moans grow louder, more desperate.
he groans softly, watching the way your body moves, the way you tremble and gasp. “shit, look at you… would you ride me like that?” his voice is so velvety. and its doing things to you. “would you moan even louder for me?”
the thought of it, of him underneath you, of riding him instead, has you spiraling. your mind can’t shake the image of his cock inside you, of bouncing on him just like this. the fantasy is too vivid, too real, and your body reacts before you can stop it. your hips slam down onto the toy harder, your moans growing higher in pitch, louder, uncontrollable.
he bites his lip, his eyes locked on the way you grind down on the dildo. his hand slides inside his sweatpants, gripping his cock, stroking himself in time with your movements, his breath coming out in shallow, desperate pants.
“fuck, you’d feel so good on me,” he groans, his hand moving faster as he strokes himself. “i bet you’d be so tight, so wet for me. you’re already dripping everywhere, baby… fuck, just thinking about it is making me lose it.”
you’re barely coherent at this point, your mind clouded by the sound of his voice, by the way the toy stretches you just right. the wet sounds of your pussy sliding up and down the dildo fill the room, mingling with your moans and his ragged breathing.
“cheol… i’m… i’m so close,” you manage to gasp out, your body trembling as you push yourself closer to the edge.
his eyes darken even more, his jaw clenched tight. “yeah? gonna cum for me?” his voice is strained.
he moves before you can even catch your breath, standing up from the chair, your hips still working on the dildo, but now, sitting straight again, and you can barely focus as he steps closer, towering over you even as he kneels down, his hands gripping your shoulders firmly.
“cheol, i—” you don’t even get the chance to finish before his hands push you down, forcing your body to slide deeper onto the dildo. you gasp, eyes widening as the toy sinks so deep inside you that it steals the air from your lungs, making you feel it so deep inside you. your hands fly to his chest, gripping his shirt tightly as you tremble against him, the fullness making it impossible to move.
your head falls forward onto his chest, whimpering as your body starts to shake. the pressure is unbearable, the dildo pressing so deep inside you that it makes your whole body seize up. and then he presses you down even further, his hands now gripping your hips, pushing you until the toy is buried to the hilt, the balls of the toy pressed on your clit, you lose it.
“CHEOL! i’m—oh my go-o-d,” you cry out, your whole body convulsing as your orgasm hits, this one even harder than any other. your hands claw at his shirt, your face pressed against his chest as you cum, trembling uncontrollably. you can’t think, can’t breathe, and he holds you through it, keeping you pinned down, making sure you feel every second of it.
he doesn’t say a word, just watches you with that hungry look in his eyes, his hands never leaving your hips as your body shakes against him.
the pleasure finally start to ebb, and you’re left panting, your body slumping against him, completely spent.
he lifts your face gently, his fingers under your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “look at me,” he whispers, his breath hot against your lips, and before you can react, he’s kissing you, desperate, all tongues and messy breaths. the taste of him fills your senses, his lips devouring yours, his hands sliding up your body to cup your face.
the kiss is all heat, your head spinning as you melt into him, moaning into his mouth as his tongue tangles with yours. he pulls away just enough to catch his breath, his forehead resting against yours. “you’re so fucking perfect, you know that?”
you can barely respond, still lost in the fog, but then he’s pulling you up, guiding you to the edge of the bed. your knees hit the floor as he bends you over the corner, your chest pressed into the mattress, and you can feel him behind you, his hands gripping your hips as he positions himself.
“can i baby? can i?” he growls, and you nod weakly, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you brace yourself. he presses the tip of his cock against your entrance, and the second he starts to push inside, you gasp, your hands clutching at the sheets. he’s so much thicker than the toy, so much warmer, so much real.
“fuck, cheol… it’s so… so big,” you moan, your voice shaky, and he chuckles darkly, his hands tightening on your hips as he pushes deeper.
“you can take it, pretty,” he mutters, his voice strained. “look at how well you’re taking me already, fuck… you’re so wet. such a perfect pussy,”
you can feel every inch of him, the way he pushes you open, the heat of his cock filling you in a way that’s completely different from the toy. the fullness making your head spin, but it feels so fucking good at the same time.
he starts to move, slow at first, letting you adjust to the thickness of him, but soon he’s fucking you harder, each thrust making your body yank forward, your moans getting louder with every snap of his hips.
and then he reaches behind him, grabbing the dildo, and you feel his hand slide around to your face. “open your mouth,” he orders, and you obey, your lips parting as he presses the toy against them. “suck on it.”
you moan around the toy as he slides it into your mouth, the taste of the lube mixed with your own slick coating your tongue. the act of it is so filthy, so wrong, but it turns you on even more, the feeling of his cock fucking you from behind while you suck on the dildo making your whole body burn.
“that’s it, baby, just like that,” he groans, his voice thick with lust. “fuck, you’re so fucking hot… i can’t believe how good you look right now, sucking on that while i fuck you.”
your eyes roll back as he fucks you harder, the sound of your moans muffled by the toy in your mouth. the way he’s talking to you, the dirty words spilling from his lips, makes your whole body tingle with arousal.
“you like this, huh? you like being fucked like this?” he growls, his pace quickening, his cock slamming into you with each thrust. “i bet you’d love to have my cock in your mouth instead, wouldn’t you? bet you’d choke on it, make those pretty little sounds for me.”
you whimper around the dildo, nodding weakly, your body shaking with pleasure as he fucks you harder, deeper. the pressure is building again, that familiar heat pooling in your core, and you know you’re close, so fucking close.
“gonna cum again, huh?” he grunts, his voice tight. “fuck, i can feel it. you’re so close, baby. just let go. let go f'me...”
your body spasms violently, and you barely register the way your throat tightens around the dildo as he pushes it deeper. for a moment, everything goes hazy—your head spinning from the overstimulation, your knees shaking beneath you. the sensation of being so full, of having him inside you while the dildo stretches your throat, sends you into a dizzying spiral, leaving you shaking.
your face falls onto the mattress, your body too weak to hold you up anymore. you can feel him pulling out of you, the sudden emptiness making you shiver, and then he moans—and you hear the sound of his cum, warm and wet against the floor.
he pulls the dildo from your mouth, and you gasp for air, your chest heaving as you struggle to catch your breath. your throat feels raw, hoarse from the way you had been gagging around the toy, but you can’t even focus on that, still reeling from the power of your orgasm. your throat burning from how deep the dildo had gone.
he’s still kneeling behind you, his hands resting on your hips as he leans forward, his breath hot against the back of your neck. “you’re so fucking hot,” he murmurs. “you should’ve seen yourself, baby. you looked so fucking good riding that dildo like that... i cant wait to see you riding me, real, real.”
you shudder at his words, a faint whimper escaping your lips. your body is still trembling, you feel weak and shaky, but the way he’s talking to you—so dirty—it makes your head spin all over again. his hands sliding up your back, his fingers tracing the curve of your back, his hands sliding down to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. “i want you to be that horny for me all the time. i want you to think about this every time you touch yourself from now on.”
you groan, burying your face deeper into the mattress, your heart pounding in your chest. he pulls back slightly, his fingers gently tugging at your hair until you turn your head to look up at him. you close your eyes, your breath still coming in shallow gasps as you try to calm down.
“cheol…” you whisper, your voice hoarse, “i don’t… i don’t think i can move…”
he chuckles softly, his fingers tracing lazy circles on your back. “you don’t have to move, baby,” he says, his voice gentle now, softer than before. “just relax. you did so good for me… just rest.”
you nod weakly, him putting you fully on the bed so you can lay fully, your body sinking into the mattress.
“you okay?” he asks quietly after a few minutes, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face.
you nod again, your voice barely above a whisper. “yeah… just… tired.”
he smiles, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your temple. “good. you deserve to rest after that.” he stays close, his warmth comforting against your skin, and you feel his lips curl into a smile against your forehead. it feels so fucking good. and you know, deep down, that this won’t be the last time something like this happens.
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