#have some information i guess
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
This is the devilās hole pupfish! A tiny species that lives only in One water-filled limestone cavern in Nevada. It was one of the first animals on the endangered species list. At the last count in 2022 there were 263 pupfish observed - the most in 19 years! Theyāre tracked pretty carefully, as their 215 square foot habitat (the smallest of any know vertebrate) is fragile and has been disturbed in the past by groundwater extraction and other human interference.
[ID: an illustration of a shiny metallic blue fish, the male devilās hole pupfish, facing to the right. It is on a lighter blue background with a ripple pattern. End.] l
#fish#fishes#fishblr#devils hole pupfish#icthyology#they were apparently controversial little guys in the 70s bc a family bought the land theyāre on and tried to build a bunch of wells#and some agencies were like hey donāt build those here there are these pupfish#and I guess they went to court and it was a whole publicized thing and folks were getting bumper stickers that said either#save the pupfish or kill the pupfish#and the concept of being so self absorbed that youāre like I would rather a species go extinct forever than for one human family to have#wasted some money#and Iām gonna get a bumper sticker that informs you of this#is so fucking funny to me
1K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Tumblr keeps popping up to sell me ad free dashboard. But what it doesn't understand is that me and the ads have a sort of symbiosis at this point.
The guys from the fake gameplay trailers for a predatory mobile app are my blorbos
#the kings return to do WHAT?#oh my god they put him in a situation#last year he was solving fake puzzles and this year he is shooting hordes of zombies while trying to chokse#which gate that looks like all the other gates in all the other shooting hordes of zombies games#ooh whats my little phoenix wright up to?#begging to be drooled on by a giant cyclops with gianter boobs?#hell yeah you go little pheonix knight#endure or divorce! what will she pick! blond bimbo and boo monstersinc freeze to death in the cold water#my heart will go on#after their nasty dad ate all the food! the tragedy#oh heres another trailer with that same nasty dad! hes snorkling? where is my daccoon eyed woman WHAT THE FUC#SOMEONE POURED (POOP?) INTO HIS SNORKLE THATS SO TERRIBLE#theyre running away wherre is the bimbo oh its all frozen#everythign froze so fast and now nasty dad is in a winter coat and also changed his entire physique#now hes gathering logs now hes buikding a settlement#damn guess we know what happened after the divorce!#and thats how you know the winter log game is by the same company as (one of many) repair the house game#thry got nasty dad model#and he is GOING places#if yiu ever hear 'i finally found a game that is exactly what they show in the ads!' no you didnt#i would love to play the fat guy fighting a horse for the last drop of water#hes like me fr#but hes too busy building underground rooms with the hot chick who may or may not die#SPEAKING OF HOT CHICKS i love that game where you romance a level 10 babe#not a crook or informant thats her whole job description#level 10 babe#she cqn be romanced by picking her off the ground or by showing her money (which you dont have)#but the other guy does!#i wonder what halpens to her#oh good shes upgraded to mafia wife! good for her and she has some buns in the oven too she must be so happOH NO
172 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
(BSD 113 SPOILERS) the fyodor jesus imagery is driving me insane, so here are a couple of things i noticed from this chapter (all translations from @/nineofscans).
1. fyodorās position
so the first thing that was most obvious was fyodorās positioning here. he may not be on a cross, but this is very intentional i would say! he is still in the position of christ on the cross.
2. fyodorās outfit
i could be reaching, and this is less to do with jesus, but his outfit to me resembles a monkās habit somewhatāperhaps signifying his position as a man of god.
3. stabbing with spears as the rooster crows
two things are standing out to me here:
first of all, stabbing fyodor with spears as a means of execution is interesting to me considering how jesus also was stabbed by a spears before being taken down from the cross after he gives up his life (following the āmy god, my god, why have you forsaken me?ā lineāwhich was quoted in the last chapter!)
i cannot remember if jesus is also stabbed before then, but that is the one i remember the most.
the second thing that jumped out to me about this line was the part about the rooster crowing.
in the new testament, when jesus is betrayed by judas, he warns peter that before the cock crows, he (peter) will have betrayed him (jesus) three times.
what are the implications of that? i canāt really say, maybe it has something to do with why bram later gets stabbed with the holy cross sword and why he later works under fukuchi/fyodor. but it felt like an intentional nod to this part of the passion of christ.
4. bram as the devil
this is perhaps another reach, but iām including it anyways.
before jesus re-enters jerusalem and the events of the passion of christ, he fasts for 40 days in the desert, where he is tempted from the devil (each of the gospels talks about this differently).
but anyway, this does say something. if bram is the devil, and considering all of fyodorās positioning and religious imagery surrounding himāi feel the jesus references are very intentional. fyodor is deliberately positioned asā if not jesus, then definitely at least a disciple, or a messenger of god, almost supernatural in energy and appearance.
and with all the buddhist references to angels scattered throughout this arcāi think thereās a lot to be unveiled about fyodor yet. we definitely havenāt seen the last of him. but iām excited to find this all out later!
#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd 113#bsd manga spoilers#bsd spoilers#bsd fyodor#fyodor bsd#this barely makes sense help#putting my religious trauma to good use#jem rambles#bsd analysis#i guess??#lol tagging it anyways#all of this assuming that this is fyodor n not a twin ancestor or smth#you never know!#but at long lastā¦ we have some more fyodor information
323 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Answering My Own Height Questions
*I want to apologize for everyone being untextured, but I'm too lazy to figure out how to load the textures in Blender. Besides, this should make it easier to see anyway.
While I was poking around, I decided to go ahead and definitively answer my question from a while back about how tall DJSS is.
At a quick glance, the undisputable answer appears to be that he's shorter than Tatiana, but taller than Neon J... barely.
This doesn't consider the thickness of his helmet (unless you think the helmet is his head), but even so, this difference is so small, that it's easier to say that they're about the same height.
BUT
As we know from the Christmas DLC, DJSS's feet do not sink completely into the soles of his shoes.
So adjusting for where his feet would actually touch the ground, DJSS is actually shorter than Neon J. by a good couple of inches, but still taller than Mayday.
(Not that it really matters in fanart, since they're usually wearing their default outfits anyway, so even pointing this out is basically null~)
I also wanted to check Eve against the others, and with heels she's still shorter than NJ and DJSS.
This shot was taken before I adjusted for shoe height for DJSS/Eve, but with adjustments, DJSS is still just a little taller than Eve (it's about the same difference as Neon J. vs. DJSS with shoes).
So, I've a got a win for short!DJSS, but a loss for 2nd tallest!Eve, UmU. (Tatiana is the tallest member of NSR, not counting *Sayu, who I consider a special case.)
*Sayu is in scale to her B2J battle, meaning she's a giant compared to everyone else, so I didn't include her.
And of course I had to do B2J, Kliff, and Tatiana for my own amusement.
I didn't order them by height this time, but the grid guide should suffice. It's a little hard to say if Kliff or Zuke is actually taller since their hair is so dense, but considering that Kliff also wears shoes with a heel, I'm gonna err on Kliff being *just* a hair shorter than Zuke, but they're really about the same. However, Tatiana is actually about a whole head taller than Kliff putting him at perfect motorboating height.
I wanted to check the sewer gang too, but their models are not created equal, and I don't think they're in scale with each other.
Maybe it's just me, or because he's asserting dominance, but Zam seems bigger than he should be, and Gigi/Yiruk look a little smaller than they should be. Robot could be to scale, but I think he looks a little big too.
As my final bonus, I wanted to compare Yinu and 1010 to see how accurate my "Heart and Soul" sketch would have been and...
Nope. Handholding is basically impossible for them. At best, Yinu might be able to grab one of his fingers, but it'd be straining to do so unless he hunched over. So, it'd be even more impossible in my fic where she's younger and presumably even shorter, and the MKI is implied to be bigger and bulkier.
#nsr#no straight roads#djss#dj subatomic supernova#neon j#tatiana#mayday#eve#zuke#kliff#1010#yinu#well this was fun and informative#i'm glad i can finally close the book on some of these burning height questions#but chances are i'm probably still gonna draw everyone as i've headcanoned them#i usually make kliff about a head taller than may#but i guess may is actually at about forehead kissing height to both him and zuke#i did have eve at about a head taller than nj and djss as a head shorter than him#but they're all actually pretty close#and even tatiana as the tallest isn't *that* much taller than the majority of her stars#but i'd still like to make her huge~#it's just funnier that way
134 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
ok wait i need to hear more of your thoughts on peeta owning a bakery....
This is one of those rare times where Iām pretty sure this anon isnāt someone I know personally bc Iāve subjected anyone who will listen to my rant about the Peeta Bakery Headcanon. Anyway, youāre gonna regret asking this anon bc there are fucking Layers here.
I know this is probably a controversial take based on the number of fics where Iāve seen it, but I simply do not think that Peeta would open a commercial bakery after Mockingjay!! Like on a metatextual level, I donāt think it really fits with the point of the ending of the series. It actually sort of fascinates me that itās just such a common headcanon because the ending of Mockingjay is exceedingly vague. I think that vagueness invites us, as readers, to imagine a better world post-revolution. A world where Katniss would feel confident that her children would be safe from injustice, where sheād feel confident that her children would never know want the way she did as a child. A just world. A kinder world. Can a capitalist society ever be just? Is a capitalist society where a disabled teenager has no other means to subsist himself (or feels like thereās no other way he can be a contributing member of his community) really the post-revolution world we dream of? Is that really the best we can imagine?
(This got so insanely long Iām adding a read more lmao)
I get that showing a better world is not always the point of post-mockingjay headcanons/fics. Like there are plenty of really great post-mockingjay fics Iāve seen where, yeah, part of the fic is that society like ISNāT all that different or all that much better. Iāve seen that really well done! Hell, Iāve written them myself! Itās easy to imagine how a lot of aspects of society would not get an overhaul, a lot of the same structural inequalities would continue to exist. One headcanon that really stuck with me (I canāt remember which fic it was from) was that Peeta sells basically mail order baked goods to people on the Capitol, sending them iced cakes and pastries by train, because there are still people who were āfansā of theirs during the Games. And idk this doesnāt actually have much to do with my point lol but I liked it because itās kind of fucked up and like! Yeah! It makes sense! If he needed money that would be a good way to make it! War often makes people rich, often for horrible reasons, and often itās people who already have capital in the first place.
Anyway, more about the hypothetical bakery because alright. I bring up the fact that āyeah society not being all that different post-revolution and still being an unjust capitalist hellscapeā could be a reason why Peeta re-opens a bakery because thatās actually never the types of fics where I see the bakery headcanon. Fics where Peeta opens a bakery are usually trying to make the exact opposite point. Like. Things are getting better, now he can open a bakery! Look at how much better the world is now, plus heās got a bakery! Peeta is healing, thatās why he can open a bakery now! And I am so, so sorry to inform everyone whoās never had the grave misfortune of owning a family business, but there is truly nothing further from the truth lmao. Like just putting aside the immense amount of emotional baggage that Peeta has about his family, running a small business is an insane amount of work in any context and being a baker especially is physically grueling and involves early hours (and long hours) that arenāt really the best fit with the multiple ways that Peeta is disabled now. (I could go into this more because I have a lot of thoughts. But I will spare you.). I also think itās seen throughout the books that Peeta is someone who needs time to pursue creative outlets to process his feelings and someone who values leisure and values quality time with his loved ones. And having grown up in his familyās bakery, I think heād understand the reality that running a bakery wouldnāt leave much space of those pursuits and wouldnāt leave much space for him to have the things that keep him healthy and stable. I think heād know that the way he is nowā after two Games and the war and unspeakable torture at the hands of a dictatorāisnāt compatible with the lifestyle necessary for running a commercial bakery.
And tbh with that in mind, I donāt think heād push himself to re-open a business (one that would be a constant reminder of his dead family and his complicated relationships with them that got no closure) that would require him to sacrifice his physical and emotional well-being. Like I think he might look into the possibility, I think he might even start trying to open a bakery out of a sense of obligation/duty, maybe harboring some idea that this is who he was supposed to be, who he would've been without the Games, or that itās this last piece of his family that can live on, or that itās this last connection to his family so he canāt let it die too. But ultimately, I think any attempt to open a bakery wouldnāt get very far. Maybe he'd start wading into the logistical nightmare that is small business ownership and realize it's not for him (because it's probably also true that as much as him and his brothers were involved in the business, there's almost certainly parts they weren't involved with and didn't see, i.e., filing taxes). Or maybe looking into opening a bakeryā how triggering it is, the stress of itā causes a downward spiral. Maybe he hates how much he's worrying everyone by unraveling. Maybe having a breakdown from the stress of just trying to open a bakery makes him realize, yeah, maybe in another life he would have ran his familyās bakery but the way he is now just doesnāt work with running a bakery, not without great sacrifices he's not willing to make. I just canāt see a bakery coming to fruition.
I know a lot of fics include Peeta deciding to reopen a bakery as a big step in his healing or include him rebuilding a bakery as part of his healing process but honestly, I think the opposite would be more true: I think Peeta either trying/failing to open a bakery or ultimately deciding not to open a bakery would be hugely healing for him. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way he is now as a person, his new limitations but also his strengths. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way his life his now and accepting that he likes his life the way it is, that heās satisfied with his life without needing to own a bakery. I think it would be an important part of him coming to terms with the loss of his family. I think he knows he can never have things back as they were and I donāt think he would try to recreate them, especially because his familyās legacy isnāt a business. I think heās emotionally intelligent enough and self reflective enough to realize that what mattered to him about the bakeryā taking care of others by feeding them, being integrated into his community and being actively involved in it, brightening peopleās days with delightful things whether thatās beautiful cakes or hearty food or delicious treatsā and the things he learned from his family through the bakery, are things that he can carry on in other meaningful ways.
(Do you regret sending this ask yet, anon? Because if not, you will soon. Iām not done yet. Thereās more.)
I wasnāt really sure where to put this next part in what is rapidly becoming an essay because it sort of combines the points about like āwhat do we imagine a post-mockingjay society to look likeā with the practical difficulties of starting this bakery but hereās another thing: do people really think that the Mellarks owned the land the bakery was on?? Like, sure, the merchants are the petit bourgeois of Twelve but I still donāt imagine they really own anything. In a society where houses are assigned to people upon marriage, where property ownership and capital are so closely interconnected with citizenship (as shown by the Plinths who, by having immense capital, are able to leave their District and become citizens of the Capitol) do people really think the Mellarks would be allowed to own the land their bakery is on?? I always imagined it sort of like a tenant farming situation: the Capitol gives them the raw materials for the bakery and in return the bakery give them some absurdly high portion of their profits, or the Capitol sells them a yearās supply of raw materials at a premium on credit and at the end of the year the Mellarks have to use the money they made with those materials to pay it back, except itās never enough to turn a profit so they always have to buy next yearās materials on credit and the cycle continues.
We (understandably) get a really skewed view of the merchant class through Katnissās perspective so I can see why people come to the conclusion that his family owned the property and, as the last surviving member, he wouldāve inherited it. Iāve seen the inheritance thing in fics a lot or a hand wavey āwell Twelve was decimated to no one owns anything anymore so it can be hisā or even like an almost sort of reparations type situation where heās entitled to the land as a surviving refugee of Twelve. But I donāt know. I guess I donāt think it fits with everything else we know about Panem that the Mellarks wouldāve owned that land and I think the question of whether the government wouldāve let him take ownership of the land post-revolution brings up a lot of issues about the structure of society post-Mockingjay that I find more interesting to explore in other ways, especially when, from an emotional perspective, 1) I find the idea of Peeta not opening a bakery more compelling and 2) I donāt think it really fits his character arc by the end of Mockingjay to reopen a bakery, as I went on about at length above lol.
On the flip side: literally who cares!! Do whatever you want!! Headcanon whatever you want!! I get why people go for the bakery!! Itās fun, itās wholesome, itās a built in bakery AU that isnāt even an AU. It doesnāt matter if itās practical or realistic!! It doesnāt need to be practical or realistic!! Itās fanfic of a dystopian YA series!! My unfortunate affliction is that I grew up in a family that owned a restaurant and that I have multiple degrees in the social sciences so I canāt see the bakery without being like āWhat about the overheard? What about the start up costs? Whoās spending long nights balancing the books? Is Peeta covering shifts when an employee calls in sick? Is Peeta the sole person working there until the bakery is open long enough (often a year or more) to start turning a profit? How does that sleep schedule work with his nightmares? How does that work with Katnissās nightmares? What happens when he has an episode and suddenly needs to take the day off before he has any employees? Does the bakery just remain closed for the day? Can the profit margins withstand regular unexpected closures? Can the supplies withstand regular unexpected closures?ā And if the answer is āElliott none of those things matter heās not doing the bakery because he needs the money but because he wants toā, then my question is why does he want to? Does he not get the same sort of satisfaction out of feeding his loved ones? Doesnāt Peeta seem like someone who would rather give away baked goods than sell them?? Doesnāt Peeta seem like someone who would prefer to make cakes for peopleās special occasions upon and then when they insist on paying him for it, he only lets them āpay for the ingredientsā which actually cost significantly more than he says they did??
So yeah my point is that itās a matter of personal taste! It doesnāt fit the way I see the series but that doesnāt mean itās like wrong, Iām not an authority on Peeta lmao.
Itās also a matter of personal taste in the sense that I find the themes that most resonate with me at the end of Mockingjay (and the end of Peetaās arc specifically) more interesting to explore in other ways. Grief, living with loss, relearning yourself, finding hope, figuring out your place in a dramatically different world when you donāt even know who you are anymore, healing, building a new life after such complete and total destruction of your old lifeā those are all things I find compelling about the end of Mockingjay but for me the bakery isnāt the most compelling way to explore them.
Not to say I find the concept of the bakery totally uninteresting. I have this fic about Johanna that Iāll probably never finish where the point sort of is that, yeah, her life really isnāt all that much better after the war. Itās been years at this point and sheās still miserable and she doesnāt know how to be a person but by the end sheās trying to figure it out. And towards the end, Peeta tells her that heās spent years sort of passively, half-heartedly trying to figure out how to inherit the land his familyās bakery was on, only to find out it was never theirs in the first place. Theyād been renting it the whole time and heād never even known as a kid. So he sort of passively, half-heartedly went on another wild goose chase to find the owner and now, finally, after years of writing to various government agencies and being sent in circles and things being barely functional, heās managed to track down the owner. Now itās owned by the daughter of the man who owned it when he was a kid because the original owner (who was likely up to some sketchy war crime shit) died during the war and she inherited it (the ironyā¦). He got in contact with her and asked how much it would take for her to sell it and she told him sheās not interested in selling but in light of the situation, in light of the fact that heād have to build a new building in order to operate a bakery, that sheād cut him a dealā sheād only require 50% of the bakeryās profits as rent instead of the 80% his family used to pay. And of course Johanna is outraged, thatās not right, the owner shouldnāt be allowed to do that, they should do something about it, they should fight back. And Peeta is like. Not interested. He was actually sort of relieved that opening wasnāt very feasible. Getting the answer was a lightbulb moment where he saw that over the years of trying to look into this, heās built a life that he likesā one where heās stable, where his loved ones are stable, where heās cared for and can care for othersā and he doesnāt really want to change it drastically by opening a bakery anyway. He just needed an answer, one way or another, before he could get some closure and move on. (And the point of the conversation is Johanna is having her own lightbulb moment that itās okay to move on, itās okay to change, itās not a betrayal of the people and things sheās lost but thatās not my point here!!).
But anyway. Thatās obviously not about running the bakeryā itās about the choice to not run one.
Anyway!! Anywayā¦ are you satisfied anon? Is this what you wanted?
Lastly, here is my most important qualm with the bakery headcanon: must Peeta be gainfully employed? Is it not enough for him to be Katnissās boytoy? Canāt he just paint and garden and bake and hang out with his girlfriend all day? Is that really too much to ask?
#peeta mellark#thg#the hunger games#the hunger games meta#anyway wow this got so long and I literally read it through one (1) time so uhhh sorry if this makes no sense!!#as I was doing my one read through and realized that one of my other thoughts on this is that yeah I can much more easily see the#headcanon that peeta like sells baked goods (probably at cost with no profit) out of his kitchen because thatās much more flexible#and I think that would work a lot better with what like I guess Iād call his psychiatric disability post mockingjay#and how heād certainly want to take care of Katniss too#like that sort of flexibility makes a lot more sense for him and itās like. if he doesnāt bake for a few days or however long then itās fin#itās not a formal brick and mortar business#itās just something heās doing because itās a way to be involved with people and a way to do something heās passionate about#without there being waste and while covering some of the costs#and he doesnāt have to like keep books or do payroll or any of the things I canāt see him being very passionate about#as far as like bakery management goes Lmao he can just bake!!#but then I started getting into this whole thing about how that quote-unquote ārunning a businessā like that (informally from your house)#is actually a really common practice for people living in poverty so probably something that Katniss and peeta wouldāve been familiar wirh#anyway and then this whole rant about how the emphasis on the brick and mortar bakery often goes hand in hand with#this widespread fandom thing of having a fundamental misunderstanding of how rural poverty works and what it looks like#but then I was too deep into it and said you know what? never mind! and deleted it lmao
88 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
so so sick of every courier service that's not just Regular Local Mail. why do they make everything so difficult and complicated all the time auuggghhggg
#JUST TAKE IT TO A PICK-UP POINT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD#80% of the time they're supposed to do some kind of door delivery something goes Wrong#i have SCHOOL i can't be HOME ALL THE TIME#anyway dhl marked a package as delivered that was absolutely not in the mailbox#customer service said it had been marked as delivered in mailbox which is absolutely not fucking trur#today im told the courier talked to SOMEONE and left it on a CHAIR#THAT'S NOT THE MAILBOX IS IT. SCREAMS#and presumably they didn't talk to my landlord bc he'd leave it in my house#guess ill find out after school if the package is anywhere to be found#like. seriously. they couldn't have left it in the actual mailbox??? a CHAIR??? CHAIR???????#it did Not occur to me to search the terrace area#the previous times this happened (marked delivered but not delivered)#they either hadn't delivered it at all or dropped it off at a pickup point#can we just Not do the song and dance every time. can we do something sensible. like inform me about when and where i can get my package#give me OPTIONS. GIVE ME THE OPTION TO PICK A DELIVERY TIME OR A PICKUP PLACE#and the thing im trying to work on at school keeps going WRONG#NO BAD GOOD VERY TERRIBLE DAY!!!!!!!#i don't have TIME to get sidetracked by all this
31 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
it's a similar case i've found for myself, too āĀ where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said āoh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.ā#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
65 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
as many of you may have observed, clodsire, when threatened, will protrude large bony spikes from their back to defend themselves. these spikes are, in fact, highly modified rib bones that protrude through tubercles (the white spots on a clodsireās back). the method of protrusion does in fact involve breaking the skin and forcing the bone through to the outside.
when a clodsire feels provoked, it will not immediately elect for this option. the level of stress and pressure a clodsire must feel to perform the rib-exposing behavior varies from individual to individual, but is consistent within an individualās behavior (that is, the same clodsire will perform the behavior after the same level of provocation more-or-less every time). clodsire will usually initially defend themselves with their sticky white secretions first and foremost and may wail or bite in self-defense as well.
however, if pushed to the point of exposing their ribs, a clodsire will then use its powerful back muscles and the joints attaching the ribs to the vertebrae to force the bone through the tubercles and out of the body. following this, the clodsire will then secrete its own antimicrobial to prevent infection and accelerate healing.
it is unknown why this behavior evolved. unlike some of the adaptations taken on by the larval stage (commonly called wooper), evidence suggests that this ability existed prior to the habitat fragmentation that, over the last few centuries, has forced clodsire to maintain a more terrestrial lifestyle than quagsire. young paldean wooper, the most vulnerable stage of a clodsireās life cycle, do not demonstrate this ability until shortly before or after metamorphosis, instead defending themselves primarily by expelling concentrated toxins from glands near their gills. while small subadult clodsire may experience some threats of predation, adult clodsire have few if any predators, particularly if they reach the speciesā maximum size of nearly six feet long (which is rarer without an ideal habitat available but still possible).
#pokĆ©mon#pkmn irl#clodsire#wooper#[this is based on the second salamander clodsire is based on- the iberian ribbed newt.]#[this is mostly true of the ribbed newt but their ribs actually come out their sides.]#[i also couldnāt find any information on whether ribbed newt larvae can do this so i took my best guess.]#[i also took my best guess at when i think wooper and clodsire became more terrestrial.]#[historically some adaptations have taken place over the timeframe of a few centuries.]#[a famous case being a european moth that changed coloration in response to pollution.]
26 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i admit that i find it a little bit frustrating how Wildly Astonished other antizionist jews act when i tell them my israeli jewish family have lived in the region since [some unknown length of time before 1800 when there start being records about it]
#and then they're like ''ohhh they're mizrahi!'' [connotation nonwhiteā virtuously indigenous]#and i have to be like. no. it's just thatā as palestine was in fact ottoman-administered greater syria for most of the last 600 yearsā#you could get there from other parts of the ottoman empire. such as the part of now-ukraine your ashkenazi family is also from.#it wasn't actually a hermetically sealed arab-only ethnostate that evaporated immigrants on sight. it was a pretty decent place to live as#a jew by at least some accounts. or better than the front of the hapsburg-ottoman war anyway which is where they were coming from.#i'm not sure who you think it's serving exactly to believe that there were literally no ashkenazim in the middle east before the 1st aliyah#however there were some. and this information does not actually threaten a modern anti-state of israel position like at all.#but since apparently you've constructed your new Diaspora-Centric Identity around the idea that 'palestine' and 'diaspora'#are the two mutually exclusive nonoverlapping regions and the former is ontologically a no-european-jews-allowed zone#i guess i can give you a minute to try to figure it out.#ugh sorry this is nothing it isn't anything. for one thing it's fantastically unimportant#and for another thing i don't know how to like talk about it in a way that doesn't make me sound at least kind of like im trying to justify#myself as being somehow less complicit or something. i mean i think my complicity as an american dwarfs the rest of it honestly but.#i just feel really insanely alienated where the rhetoric of my theoretically most closely politically aligned group is not really built to#like. accommodate the facts of my family history.#sorry. i have honestly no idea why im so obsessed with articulating this concept ive just been chewing on it pointlessly for days#box opener
62 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
28 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
me tuning in to watch a new cop show because jensen is the lead
#for the record i'm giving it the benefit of the doubt *slightly* more than this meme implies#but this was my mental image when i saw the announcement so i had to make the meme ;P#from the information released it seems like it might be about a conspiracy or a major cover up within multiple branches of law enforcement#which *might* make it subversive / somewhat critical wrt the role of police#and *might* also make it interesting enough to hold my attention despite it 1. being about cops and 2. not being a true genre show#but we'll have to wait and see once it airs i guess!#i'm willing to give the pilot a chance based on what we know so far though#anyway my kingdom for jensen to do something that has absolutely nothing to do with cops some time soon please and thank
22 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i'm playing wytchwood and it's fine and all but i'm getting pretty frustrated with having to go around and gather ingredients and everything so now i'm just looking at a walkthrough to see what are the necessary items i need for the rest of the game and am starting to make a spreadsheet to see if i can just calculate the numbers of things to get and prepare ahead of time so i don't. have to. keep going to the swamp to get things like oh god please
#malky plays games#wytchwood#i think i would be fine if like#some of the things you make aren't just one time use#because there's so many ingredients#and so many ingredients that require you to make something ELSE to get it#anyways. time for me to learn how to calculate in a spreadsheet i guess........#(i have very little idea of how formulas work or how to organize information)
22 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
me, constantly: one of the most frustrating things about playing for this DM is that he clearly just wants to have things happen to the characters without anyone ever questioning why
me to this DM, explaining felix: his entire thing as a character is that whenever anything happens he wants to find out as much information as possible about what's going on and why
me about his backstory: so my concept is that Something happened to him and he doesn't have any information about it so he's desperate to find out what exactly happened and why
DM: okay here's what I was thinking we'd do for your backstory: you went to this place seeking this group and talked to this person there and then, immediately after that, Something Happened. like, very obviously directly connected to that person and their group, which you already know about, and whom you'd obviously already know exactly how to find again if you wanted to get more information on what (else) exactly happened and why
#me-- dissociating: ....... well........... that wouldn't work. actually. because why would I not.... have already solved the mystery.#if I knew. exactly who did it to me. and exactly where to find them. if I wanted to investigate it.#which. I would. because that is. literally my character's entire concept.#and also. the entire CONCEPT. OF EVEN HAVING A BACKSTORY MYSTERY. TO GIVE FELIX SOMETHING HE'S ACTIVELY INVESTIGATING.#like first of all he got hung up on an incidental detail of the concept (the thing that happened left some kind of mark [a clue!])#and centered THAT such that the mystery HE thought he was giving me was 'but what does the MARKING ITSELF do'#but even with THAT being shifted to center I had to be like...... stephen............... he would just ask???#that's not a mystery š why would I not have already gone to where I know the information is and then gotten it š#'oh huh yeah I guess he probably would just go back to those people' YEAH BUD. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH WOULD HE NOT.#YOU NEEDED ME TO TELL YOU THIS??#I'm not trying to pick apart your house of cards like an asshole!! I'm just trying to SURFACE LEVEL engage with the game!!#ALL MY FRIENDS DM. I HAVE NEVER HAD THESE PROBLEMS WITH ANY OF THE REST OF THEM. I PROMISE YOU IT'S NOT ME.#[on my knees screaming into my hands]
10 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Next time somebody at work asks if I can help Iām just saying no idfc anymore
#I literally cannot help#I always try to help tho even when itās not part of my job and then they keep coming back with even DUMBER questions#leave me alone#also Iāve just had a week off and this woman wonāt fucking leave me alone for AGAINā¦ something thatās NOTHING TO DO WITH ME#Iām fucking busy catching up fuck off ššššš#thereās literally a fucking dedicated query email for all this shit and guess what I DONT EVEN WORK FOR THAT TEAM#WHY DO U THINK I KNOW WHAT THE HELL UR ON ABOUT????#Iām looking for a new job this week I hate it so I have no patience for all the idiots anymore#and these are all fucking INTERNAL people not outside people who genuinely donāt know and just have my contact info for some treason#reason#this lady today: when you post these on the system can you add this specific information#me: literally does not and cannot post invoices on the system??#this lady also today: do u know the status of our account with this company#me: does not work for the team where the queries go. has nothing to do with said company#maybe just fucking ask the company yourself#sheās literally calling me rn as I type this LMAOO#IGNORING#rant over hehe sorry :)
22 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Me rising from the dead after 3 months
#sin speaking#(yo what happened it was january yesterday)#(......H E L L O)#(guess who finally got their elvanse back lmao i feel like ive been trapped in the chalice dungeons for a thousand years)#(if u ever have imposter syndrome about having adhd. boy will missing ur meds make you think twice about that LOL)#(regret to inform you all that i have been violently obsessed with lop since it got patched in february and i replayed it. 8 times. lmao)#(i also regret to inform you that i have another new hunter. tragic. but i am not immune to choir propoganda.)#(good news though! i have some art stuff to post so look 4ward to that i guess lmao)#(SO SORRY IVE BEEN GONE SO GRATEFUL TO SEE ANYONE HAS STUCK AROUND i have missed being productive here....soooooo bad lmao)#(im not going to promise too much tho bc lmao god always strikes me down for my hubris but YEAH. HI š)
26 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
(clasps my hands) Hi everyone, i'm doing a quick interest check !
Please only respond if you would consider becoming a patron of mine! I want to see what site people would prefer the most and where my audience is. :-]
As for rewards, I have many ideas! From regular WIPS of all my work (school, commissions, boothing, etc), to Livestreams (If my internet allows it), to timelapses, etc! Also commission discounts :-)
#I'm kind of having a lot of financial anxiety right now but also have many goals in my life#So I'm deciding to really buckle my seatbe;t and ask the questions now#ourgh maybe i should have timed this for the americans. please pass this around if you know someone who likes our art I guess u_u#also!! If you have anything you want to see from us please leave a suggestion! I have ideas but maybe you have better ones#After this poll I might host a different poll on who would possibly become a patron ..#or possibly use the answers from this as my interest check on who would subscribe t all ^^"?#also i did the math. patreon and ko-fi would genuinely pay me the same thing. ko-fi doesnt take a cut but paypal's fees are GIGANTIC on kof#to the point where it doesnt matter ?? did you guys know that geez#patreon does take a cut but paypal's fees with patreon are less so >_>#thats why this interest check matters! I want to know who of you prefers what platform to see creators on :-)#mod stuff#EDIT ON THE MATH: everything i said is not TRUE.. Patreon would be a total of 10.9% and Ko-fi is a total of 7.9%! around those no's!#I did the math after talking to a friend who uses kofi for tiers and i did not know some information beforehand lol#polls
13 notes
Ā·
View notes