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sugar-grigri · 4 months ago

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CSM 172 : Do you hear Chainsaw Man? Because I do !

The more 'silent' a chapter is in terms of dialogue, the more it speaks to you. Especially when the chapter itself talks about sound. And that's the first thing Pochita will tell you: "pay more attention to the noise I make than to my words". Don't worry, everything will become crystal clear, but you have to take it one step at a time. The theme of this chapter is repeated three times. And this theme is not about the ears themselves. It's louder, it's more important, and it's about the power of CSM itself. To understand it, you take it one step at a time, savour every page and look at the beginning of this chapter.

Only the possessed woman with half a canine head manages to avoid Chainsaw Man's attack (OK, she ends up decapitated, but she managed to avoid it). It's not at all insignificant that it's a canine that manages to avoid Chainsaw Man. Knowing how to avoid when the rest of the elite don't even bat an eyelid when CSM comes at them shows you more than you think.

For a start, the animal aspect is reminiscent of several senses: smell, obviously, and the sixth sense, and these two senses should be placed on the same level of importance. The sixth sense is brought to mind by the number 6, which is present several times, just as the sense of smell is used to point out the demons who don't recognise faces but only smells: the knights of the apocalypse.

But let's not go too far, if we want to remain general, what this first part of the chapter evokes are the senses. If we try to divide the chapter into three parts, we end up with a dog that manages to avoid ; the explosion and disappearance of the ears.

Which gives us :

First part = senses

Second part = conflict

Third part = disappearance.

These different elements obviously need to be interpreted. We did it for the first part, let's do it for the other 2.

2. I mentioned smell, Fujimoto represents a spiral, and Yoru appears at the end ready to fight. So we need to associate the notion of conflict with the Knights of the Apocalypse who fought against CSM.

3. Disappearance, the ears disappear. Why do they disappear? Obviously because of Chainsaw Man's power.

So we end up with these three intrinsically linked sub-themes:

Senses

Knights of the apocalypse

Power of Chainsaw Man.

So we continue to unravel the threads. If the number 6 is mentioned, it's to encourage you to reread two chapters, chapter 6 and chapter 84, in which Makima talks about the sixth sense.

What do these two chapters have in common? They both deal with Chainsaw Man's power, one talking about the system of fears and the names of demons, the other about Chainsaw Man's power, what disappears and the conflict with the Knights of the Apocalypse.

All our themes are there. But I explained to you that it was recalled three times. It's mentioned a second time in the title (BZZZZ = sound of chainsaws, therefore evokes CSM, Boom evokes conflict, Chomp, something cut off). But that doesn't mean that the title simply recalls the themes, it does so through noise. Logically, we're talking about hearing in this chapter! But then again, it's also fundamental, we'll move on.

The three themes are recalled a third time in this page: the ears recall the senses, the cross with the arms of CSM the disappearance, the supression or its power and the spiral, the knights of the apocalypse. If all this is recalled in a single page, it's inevitably to link them.

So what is Pochita saying?

🌀❌👂

The knights of the apocalypse don't hear me.

Now that sounds obscure. But CSM is rich enough to help you understand the implications of such a statement. So why don't we reopen our tomes and look for chapter 53.

Angel explains that all the demons heard the sound of a chainsaw at the moment of their death in the underworld. As the life cycle of demons is infinite, this implies that they hear this sound at the moment of their death in the underworld as well as their rebirth on earth.

Keep this in mind. To give you a better understanding, I'm going to go back to chapter 104. In this chapter, Yoru explains that despite all the times she killed CSM, he came back. Haven't you ever wondered how Pochita could get up so many times and still be so powerful?

What's the secret behind his power, one of the conditions of which is that he is the most feared? How did he achieve this power?

You've heard this secret from the start:

"VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

I think some of you will have rediscovered some of the links, while others may have lost their way. But let's imagine you're dying (poor soul) and I say to you as you take your last breath: AHAH WELL DONE!

And imagine that you are reborn. You're going to want to take revenge for what you've heard, aren't you?

Hell is by definition, not heaven............ It's not necessarily a place where people live together in peace............ So imagine a demon killed by another demon, but the devil who died hears chainsaws. They won't necessarily remember who killed them, but at least they'll remember the last noise he heard. Why? Because hearing is the last sense to diminish when you die.

So Pochita's secret is to make his chainsaws roar to regain his power. Because when a half-dead demon hears it, it frightens him. Logically associating it with death.

So what is the secret of the Knights of the Apocalypse? To rely on their sense of smell. Or to be more precise, to concentrate on another sense other than hearing. Just as the dog was able to do, since he neither looks at CSM nor hears him because he has no ears either. It's the key !

The Knights of the Apocalypse were able to fight CSM because they weren't afraid of him, concentrating not on the noise but on what was disappearing.

The more you concentrate on Chainsaw Man, the more you forget. So the clearer Makima saw her confrontation with Pochita, the more concepts escaped her.

So neither Makima nor Yoru, who focus a little too much on CSM, are the ones who remember the most. The one who remembers the most forgotten concepts but the least about her confrontation with CSM and the one who doesn't give a damn about anything.

At the same time as this chapter reveals a secret about Chainsaw Man's power, it also highlights a weakness: the devil eaten is not immediately forgotten, there is a time lag between the demon's disappearance and the forgetting of the name it represents. Once again, Yoru's reflex is to focus on what is disappearing, rather than, like Katana, on the lure of the chainsaws. How long does this time last? Once again, it's explained in this chapter.

I don't think the chainsaws were given much prominence in this chapter...? I mean, yes, they're there, but the way Pochita goes about it is more like using the eviscerated guts of his enemies. The intestines.

So digestion.

The disappearance of a concept is not instantaneous, it lasts as long as the concept is digested. So if Pochita spits it out..... or vomit.... before digesting…. the concept exists again!!!!!

Of course he's going to spit out the ears, I just pray that katana doesn't stay like that until the end…

But then if hearing is the sense that allows Pochita to be reborn very powerful. It doesn't do him any good to suppress that sense.

Precisely. If CSM dies, he won't be able to regain that power.

To remove his sense of hearing is to ensure that his power dies with him. And no one else benefits.

Above all, it's a sign to his opponents.

Last round.

#csm 172 #chainsaw man #csm #csm part 2 #csm spoilers #denji #asa mitaka #yoru #makima #fami #pochita #my thoughts #csm 6 #csm 84 #csm 104

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carmenized-onions · 6 months ago

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Doing Too Much. | House Call

logline; Appliances can reach their breaking point, when you push them too far. Same goes for people.

[!!!] series history, this is the sixth; First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth

[New Thing!!] Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin' added to.

portion; 4.8k

possible allergies; eatin' meat, besides that, we're pretty good actually. did somebody say calm before the storm....?

pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader (no pronouns, but girl is said a couple times, i believe.)

After this chapter, I'm entering my era of couch hopping as I move to a new city n start a new job. I'm really excited for the chapter after this one, so hopefully I actually get time to write it-- But that's just my lil warning if you're left rereading for like two weeks </3 But I'll def be stalking my activity/inbox so please do yap to me

Monday morning. The next morning after everything. Well, closer to noon than morning, at this point. You’re supposed to have, what, a work ethic this week? After the most insane weekend of your life? No. You’re lazing around and doing fuck all. No matter who calls. Well… Not completely no matter, but like, most people.

When you check your phone, you’ve gotten a text at 6:43 A.M. Unknown number. Ah. Carmen. You put him in as Carmy, and put his nickname as ‘Mister New York’. Listen, old nicknames Mikey ingrained in your brain die hard.

It’s a simple text, deeply un-romantic.

‘Connections Puzzle #342’

Then, four lines of four perfect categories. Flawless. Purple first, even. The hardest category. And then,

‘Morning’

Stupid. Incredibly stupid, to be enamoured, by this. You reply,

‘Good morning!’

‘Connections Puzzle #342’

And then a failed jumble of coloured squares, you get one out of four categories. What the fuck is 'dogleg' and since when has it meant taking a sharp turn? You follow that up with,

‘Fuck you.’

Aside from Carmen, you’ve actually gotten texts from a couple people. Your boss at Eden’s asking if you’re alright. What the fuck did Cicero say? Oh well. You tell him you’ve ‘been better, been worse. Will be okay by next week.’ Perfectly vague, and you still get wired your cheque and tip out. Alright, maybe Uncle J does deserve your free labour.

Speaking of, the next text on your itinerary is from Uncle J, just info for the winter nuptials of Vinnie and Mira. Oh yeah. Three-hundred guests, you remember that part. You also remember him saying it’d be an ‘easy gig’… He did not mention you’d be the only bartender. This is going to be a nightmare. Oh well. You text back that despite it being an open bar you get to put out a tip jar. He just reacts to it, ‘haha’. That sounds like a yes to you.

And then, adorably, a selfie from Syd, wearing the collar and pins you’ve gifted her, under a green sweater. Cutie. You hype her up accordingly.

Besides some texting though, Monday is relatively unbusy. No calls. No emergencies. No businesses knocking down your door for your services. You’re thankful for a break, letting the inertia set in, finally being able to relax after fix after fix after—

Tuesday comes, you get sent another perfect round of New York Time’s Connections around half past six in the morning, along with a good morning text. And again, you fuck it up. You send him your Wordle results this time, as an act of rebellion. You then ask,

‘How’s reworking the menu going?’

‘Hard to say’

‘Ask me tomorrow’

God he’s an awful texter. Horrifically dry. You know you’re down bad beyond a belief when you find that endearing. You spend Tuesday drowning and pruning your plants after depriving them for so long.

Plus working on your art piece for Carmy. You’re pulling out old film photos, a canvas, and a load of bleach—It’s like high school art class all over again— Surprise surprise, the handyman who loves to up-cycle is a mixed media artist. Who could’ve guessed?

While trimming a photo, an exterior of The Beef, a picture frame on your wall falls down behind you, you tut, turning your head to it, chastising the air. “Mikey! It’s a copy, relax! I’ve still got the original print…”

There’s every chance you’re insane— No, you’re definitely insane. But you’re allowed to be, your best friend died, you’re allowed to talk to the air as if he’s still around. Sometimes the timing of doors swinging open for you and things falling down are just too uncanny to not be a ghost.

Wednesday arrives, and again, just after 6:40, Connections results. And the Wordle, this time; plus a ‘Good Morning’. It looks like this is simply just your thing, now. Every morning, the second both of you get up, you send each other puzzles and wish a good morning. You don’t mind that. It’s nice to have a ‘thing’, with someone. With Carmen.

Part way through the day, around two o’clock, you get another text. Two, actually. From Carmen, in quick succession.

‘Are you busy?’

‘Don’t worry if you’re busy. Can call Fak’

You’re quick to reply, frankly deeply offended.

‘Are you fucking firing me????’

‘I’m gonna get ready. Text me details’

While getting dressed, you watch three dots bubble, bubble, bubble… He’s taking forever, just don’t look at it, you’ll get anxious for no reason. No jumpsuit today, you’ve got to switch it up every now and again. Navy cargo pants with the perfect number of pockets and zippers, and an orange Chicago’s Kindest shirt, tucked in. Hm. Looking in the mirror, hickey is still there. Lighter, but there. Foundation? No. You’ll sweat it off and that’ll just bring up more questions. If Syd asks you’ll just tell her you fell down the stairs… On your neck. She's not the type to confront anything remotely sexual anyways.

Speaking of Syd, before Carmen can text you back, she calls you, which is fair— Don’t leave a Carmen to communicate. You stick your phone in the crux of your neck and answer while you pack your utility belt. This feels nearly nostalgic. “What’s fucked?”

Carmen is in the background; you can hear the tail end of a sentence, grumbling. “—Don’t call—”

“My life.” She responds without missing a beat. “And also, Carmy’s stove and oven.”

“Oh.” You squint. “What the fuck happened?”

“Overuse? I actually don’t fucking know, it just stopped working. We plugged it in and out— He even reset his apartment’s breakers. I dunno what’s wrong with it. It’s probably got something to do with him putting his fuckin’ jeans in there.”

“…He what?”

You can hear him in the background, again, clearer this time, grimacing, “What are you doing to me?”

Syd does not mind him at all, continuing, “I know! He’s fucking weird!”

“He’s extremely weird.” You like him a lot. “I’ll be over soon, were you guys like, mid-cooking?”

“Yessir.”

“Christ, alright… I think I have a dual burner hot plate laying around somewhere, you want me to bring it—”

They both speak clearly this time, together, “Please.”

You’ve got a pile of things to give to them anyways, and maybe you miss Carmy’s face. Just a little.

Instead of just buzzing you in, Carmy comes down for you. When he sees you through the door window, carrying a cardboard box, he almost breaks into a full run. He’s somehow opening the door, grabbing the box from your hands, and chastising you all at the same time. “You should’ve left it in the car, I would’ve—”

You step in through the entryway and kiss his cheek, cutting him short. You can’t help yourself, it’s the first time you’ve seen him since and you feel like a giddy teen. The teenage girl in your head is no longer just in your head, she’s fully manning the station. “You’re very sweet. But it’s also not heavy.”

When he continues to be frozen, the regret starts to mount, “Is—Sorry, is that okay to do—?”

“It’s very okay to do.” He manages to reply, with haste. Nodding to himself. “It’s good.” He nods again, then marches off, expecting you to follow to the elevator. You do.

“What floor?”

“Eighth.” He sniffs; you press the button. He stands next to you, looking you up and down. He astutely observes. “Orange.”

“Yeah.” You smirk, looking back at him, “Turns out, businesses can have two colours in their designs.”

What’s a little roasting of fellow small businesses between two not just friends?

“Oh yeah?” Coy, smirking. Oh no. You’ve gotta get the teen off the controls. He tilts his vision to stare at your jacket. Ah. You opted to wear your Carhartt instead of his jean jacket.

“Didn’t wanna give Syd more questions.” She already guessed you’re a sugar baby, you don’t want to wrap Carmen in on that too. Especially since ideally in a month or two he’ll be your boss. Hm. The Bear is going to need an HR.

He hums, nodding. “We’re not telling Syd?”

“What’s there to tell?” You grin, crossing your arms. “You suddenly have free time, Bear?”

He takes a beat, thinking, then just takes a deep frustrated yet amused exhale. “I’m gonna fuckin’…” He can’t think of a threat. “…Get you.”

You snort, “You’re gonna get me?”

“Fuck you—!” “You’re gonna fuckin’ get me, Bear?”

“I—” He tries to hold a straight face, it doesn’t work. “Yeah, I am.”

“Can’t wait.” You nod, grinning, turning back to the doors. “You told me to ask how menu’s going tomorrow.”

“I did.”

“It’s tomorrow.” The door dings, opening on the eighth floor; you step out together. He switches his grip to hold the box in one arm. Alright Biceps, we don’t need to brag here...

“It’s… We’re getting there.” He grimaces. “Syd’s recipes are always… Almost perfect.”

“Ah.” You nod, you know your friend well enough to know where this is going. “And she fucks up one thing hard?”

“Mhm.”

“And when you tell her it’s okay and give her a hand she just feels worse?”

He nods. A touch surprised you’re right on the dot so quickly. “Everything ends up perfect, but I think she’s finding the edits…”

“Demoralizing.” You walk down the hall together, he nods. “I know what she needs, I’ll find an in.”

“You always do.” He hums, you walk just a touch ahead of him, unknowingly walking past his door. He pulls you back by the back of your jacket, making you stumble back into him. This seems to be this villain’s intention; as when you turn around, he’s quick to grab your chin and kiss you.

“It’s very good.” He emphasizes, again, before opening his door and acting like everything’s totally normal and fine. Since when did he turn the tables and make you the desperate one? Son of a bitch.

Ah. Actually, subtract any attraction you had in this moment— He lives like this? Books on the floor, by the window. Jeans on the dinner table, because they were in the oven. The kitchen actually looks alright— You’re almost certain that’s purely for utilitarian purposes while they’re working on the menu. This motherfucker better have a bed frame or him asking you to sleep over would be downright offensive. God, he’s wonderful. God, you’re an idiot.

You find Syd at the table, moping, head in hands. Carmen sets the box down, sitting beside her. You pat the top of her head. She silently moves one of her hands to go over yours. You nod. The silent exchange of girls who know.

“Yeah?”

She nods, grumbling. “Yeah.”

Carmen has no fucking idea what’s happening and he’s never been more intrigued by a near wordless social interaction in his entire life. What? You’re not even making eye-contact. What the fuck is happening?

You fish through the box with your free hand, grabbing a pot. You place it in front of Syd. “Look.”

She peeks through her fingers. A tiny but flourishing nursery pot of basil sits before her. You speak. “You’re gonna hyper-fixate on this basil I’m gifting you, and then you’re gonna crack back into it with the dual burner until I’m done fixing the oven.”

She nods, putting her hands in her lap, “Yes, Chef.”

You pull out a second nursery pot, setting it down for Carmen. “For you.”

“What for?”

“Basil grows like a motherfucker and it’s getting unhinged. I need to start pawning off to people that’ll make good use of it. A-K-A, chefs.” You look at Syd, pointedly, “Talented chefs.”

You hand off the heating pad— Wrapped in brown paper with a card tied to it, to Carmen. “For Nat.” You add, when he looks confused, “Can’t imagine I’ll see her sooner than you will.”

He looks even more confused, when you hand him a spray bottle full of reddish water. It’s one of the good spray bottles, too. Continuous. Carmen wouldn’t know the difference, but you do. “Rosemary. —Water, that is.”

He squints; you clarify, gesturing to your own hair. “You mentioned, losing hair, so— Thought I’d make some, with the trimmings of rosemary I had. Got ginger and cloves in it, too.”

Why have you trapped him in hell? You’ve remembered such a specific off hand from days ago and acted on it? And he can’t express the grandiose level of affection he feels right now? Are you serious? You’re the devil. You’re absolutely the devil. He just coughs out a ‘thanks’.

“And, the pièce de résistance,” You pull out the old ass, boxed up double burner countertop stove. “A stovetop that ideally fuckin’ works. It was my single claim to fame in my college dormitory.”

Carmen’s already opening the box. Sydney smirks, curiosity peaked. “Was that legal?”

“You a fuckin’ RA?” You grin, poking her forehead. “It was not. And that’s exactly why everyone loved me— Didn’t serve them fuckin’ hot pockets.”

The configurations of Carmen’s apartment would be great for literally any occasion besides the current one. The kitchen is narrow, and so, when you pull out the stove to check the back, there’s an estimated no fucking room left for Carm and Syd, so they sit at the dinner table with your stove top. You’d think they’d look like they’re doing a cute hot pot. No. They look like two conflicted and confused twelve-year-olds working on a science project.

So do you, honestly. Wiring is definitely more your speed than plumbing, but if you’re being honest, this is the first oven you’ve worked on without your dad, and you’re having a hard time remembering everything. There’s a lot of embarrassed Googling on your phone, when you're sure they’re not looking. They can’t know you’re even slightly incompetent!

You’re pretty sure it’s just a couple damaged wires, fried from overwork— Easy fix, if you had wire. You don’t. Slightly harder fix. But soldering is your bitch really, you’re in your bag. You look stupid, wearing chunky goggles and a respirator, but you’re in your bag, baby! What’s that one saying? Skills make you hot? That’s not a saying.

But it is true. When Carmen’s able to peer into the kitchen, quickly looking over his shoulder when Syd takes a moment to write a measurement or direction down, you look stunning. Respirator and all. You just look correct there, in the kitchen. His kitchen. So stunning he feels guilty. Do you find it annoying? Constantly fixing errors behind him? Probably. You say it’s not a lot of work, but that can’t be true.

“How’s The Bear, ‘sides menu rework?” You ask, raising your voice in the kitchen.

“S’good.” Carmen. “I’m in hell.” Syd. Not hard to tell which statue is lying, here.

Syd stutters on, “Nat’s takin’ care of baby Michaela— Which is very good and—and cool, actually.”

“But?”

“But we’re back to handling the business side entirely ourselves, for like— The next month. Maybe two? Fuck, are we doing the wedding without her?” Sydney almost burns her sauce, Carmen’s quick to move it off the burner.

He mutters, “Don’t even start to think about it. It’s gonna be fine. We’re gonna figure it out.”

“Oh yeah, wedding— Have you gotten your menu yet?” You call from the kitchen, muffled by your respirator.

“Oh my god!” Sydney exclaims, and Carmen is wincing. She can’t tell you things are going wrong; doesn’t she know that? You’ll fix it, if things are wrong. You always fix it. Fix him. You’re gonna put him in your phone as Carmy Bad News. If you haven’t already. Start a support group with Tif.

Syd continues, “They’re so fucking particular and somehow also vague—Like, ‘we want salmon and chicken’ for main course— What kind of preparation? ‘Surprise us!’ Okay, how about roasted chicken—? ‘Mmmm, no, not that’. I’ve been told ‘non quello’ at least ten times in the last four days.”

No, you’re witty. Bad News Bear. Fuck, that’s definitely his name in your phone, isn’t it?

“Fuckin’ nightmare. Y’know, I’m the only fucking bartender? For like three hundred guests? Thank God they’re not asking for a custom cocktail or anything, I’d lose my shit.”

Sydney laughs, and she steps back into her flow easily, reducing the sauce without burning it, now. She looks more serene than she has in days. What? How are you doing that? What are you doing? Are you casting a spell?

“Can you even fucking imagine what their couples’ cocktail would be?”

You groan from the kitchen, laughing in return, “Not you too, Syd! Must you make me work!?”

“C’mon maestro, make a cocktail!”

“Bleh. Uh… They give long island iced tea energy, but it’s a wedding so— Like a boozier negroni?”

“That sounds fucking disgusting.”

“I didn’t say it’d be good, I said it’d be their couples’ cocktail.” You’re both giggling, like school girls. It’s like you said— You become teens, together.

Despite the fact that Syd is making an incredibly complex dish, and you’re fixing an oven—His oven— Ridiculing the other impossible tasks set out for the both of you… Despite all of that, you’re laughing.

Carmen is, what, nearly thirty? A restaurant owner, with a full crew, who attends Al-Anon, and is only now truly registering the power of an unsolvable burden being shared. Not fixed, shared. Talking. Laughing. God, this all comes so easy to you, doesn’t it?

You finish soldering, test each burner, and the oven— All working, thank God. You quietly cheer in the kitchen, removing your respirator and goggles. “We’re good here! Fixed!”

“C’mere!” Syd calls out to you, and so you do. Eagerly. She hands you a fork. Unprompted, she does the thing. You’d missed the OG, really.

“Beef Oxtail, pressed in a Foie Gras casing, seared. Basted in a King Oyster mushroom sauce. Pureed greens on the side.”

“I never know what the fuck you’re saying.”

She pushes the side of your face with the palm of her hand. “Put it in your mouth and chew.”

You want to make some sort of kink joke, but you respect the already struggling man in the room and take a bite. Hm. Hm. You put a finger over your mouth, swallowing. “...Now it might just be my unrefined palate.”

“That’s why we have you try it.” Carmen pipes in. Syd nods, following. “It’s important to know the baseline.”

“…It’s got like,” You hand the fork to Syd so she can try it, while you think. “A bit of a bitter aftertaste? Which might be the… goal?”

Syd spits it out the second it touches her mouth, she shouts your name, your actual name— A rarity. She’s so terrified that she forgets the Walk-In bit she’s been in on all week. “I just fuckin’ poisoned you— Oh my god?! Are you good? That was— Fuck! You swallowed that?!”

She grabs your face like a concerned mother, also maybe to check if you have superpowers, you’re not sure. All you know is there’s a golden opportunity to make another sex joke and you have to hold back. Life is so unfair.

Carmen takes a quick taste, also spitting it out. “I’ve got it, Chef, don’t sweat.” Immediately looking to the drafted recipe card to see where they went wrong.

Syd almost squeezes your cheeks like a stress ball but thinks better of it, letting go, groaning, beyond frustrated at this point. “You shouldn’t have to fix it— I should fuckin’ have it, at this point.”

Carmen's trying to ignore how much he relates to the sentiment. He's not the focus, right now.

“We make mistakes, Chef—” “Syd.” You snap your fingers, pointing to her, interrupting Carmen. “Can you help me grab something, from my car? It’s kinda big.”

Carmen’s quick to chime in, already going to untie his apron, “I can—”

“No!” You look at him pointedly, trying to communicate through look alone. He kind of gets it? “It’s… Girl stuff.”

Syd squints. “You need me to help you carry a big girl thing?”

“…Are you fuckin’ helping or are you gonna poke holes?”

“What are you actually dragging me out for?”

“Technically I do actually need your help grabbing something, it’s just not a girl thing. And it's also not from my car.”

“Oh?”

You walk out of Carmen’s building with his keys, and gesture out to every apartment buildings treasure trove— The spot everyone throws their furniture when they move out and don’t know what else to do with it.

“Bookshelf!” There is actually one pristine looking bookshelf, a cheap one, definitely just something from IKEA. But it’s better than the fucking floor. “I spotted it on my way in, we’re gonna bring it up for Carm.”

She groans, hating the concept of manual labour, but still walks with you and grabs one end anyways. “Why didn’t you make Carmen carry his own bookshelf?”

“Because you need a fuckin’ pep-talk.” You pick the other end of the bookshelf up. It’s thankfully not that heavy. You walk backwards so you can keep facing Syd.

“…I don’t—” “Yes the fuck you do.”

She kisses her teeth, you frown. “What’s up, Adamu?”

“It’s just fucking annoying— I keep, I keep fucking it up. I keep—Keep—”

“Doing too much.”

She gives you a look, ‘are you serious?’, type look. You continue. “You’re doing too much. You’re not cooking like you.”

“I can cook like Michelin—”

“I never said you couldn’t. Watch your step.” You interrupt, walking over a bump in the sidewalk. “You can do star level shit, Syd. But that’s a grade, not a type.”

She kind of reels, at that. You continue, “You cook great complex dishes, you always have, I’ve tried them. But now, you’re all caught up trying to prove some shit, to Carmen, to—to— Who gives stars? The tires guy?”

She laughs, almost dropping the bookshelf. “Yeah, I’m trying to impress the tires guy.”

“Fuck you.” You snort, stepping up the stairs. “What I’m trying to say is, you should make what you want to eat, not what you think you should eat.”

She nods, you stop on top of the stairs, both taking a second to breathe. “…Thanks.”

You nod back, hands on your knees for a second before standing back up, opening the lobby door. “I’ll always be your cheerleader, Syd.”

“More like coach.”

“Can you let me have one hot girl career, please?”

When you get back up to Carmen’s, he’s already grimacing. You and Syd are split apart by the bookshelf standing between you in the hall. “Fuck is this?”

“It was free and I’ll clean it!” You press your hands together pleading. “C’mon, you can even put your jeans in it!”

“Jeans on a bookshelf?”

You turn to Syd. “Better than the oven.”

“I think he’s doing that to dry them.”

“I think it’s ‘cause he doesn’t own a dresser.”

“It’s both.” Carmen clicks his tongue, single-handedly picking up the bookshelf and carrying inside. Alright, does he need to show off this much? Whatever. It’s definitely not making you feel any type of way at all.

You squint, watching him walk further in his apartment, and then to Syd. You speak at the same time. “He stays doing too much.”

As promised, you wipe down the bookshelf, making sure it’s free of grime and roadside pests. Syd and Carmy work together in the kitchen, with a now functioning oven. You load the shelf up with the books on the floor— Thankfully they’re piled into categories already, so you don’t have to bother him about that.

You’re tempted to clean his living room, but that would probably be rude, right? Don’t want him to take it as you saying he’s a slob. But they are taking a while… Alright, you’ll just throw out trash. You won’t fold blankets or pick up dishes or anything. Just trash! No big! He can’t be mad at you for that.

You pile together the garbage, then sneakily throw it out in the kitchen trash can as fast as you can, before he looks. He’ll think he’s just sleep cleaning, or something. “How’s it goin’ in here?’

Carmen pipes up, eyes focused on the dish as Syd plates it. “Good.” Syd holds the plate in one hand, and silently corrals you with the other to sit at the table. You do. She sets it down the plate before you, handing you a fork and knife.

You look up at her expectantly. She shakes her head. “Eat first, this time.”

She looks serious, so you nod, cutting into the dish. It’s different from the last one. Instead of oxtail, it’s pastry. Or at least, a puff pastry exterior. You’re pretty sure it’s Pillsbury, you remember Carmen buying that, the other day, on your excursion.

Inside it, you believe is the beef oxtail, there’s other things, too. Some sort of sauce, some greens— Oh well, no time to bask in the cross section because Syd looks like she’s about to explode. You take a bite. You nod, chewing.

Syd starts, “Searing the duck caused the bitter taste— So instead of- Of searing the outside, I coated it in the mushroom sauce, the greens— Not pureed, this time, for texture. Your basil, too. There’s a crumble of feta, for a subtle tang. And then wrapped it all together in puff pastry, and baked. It’s sort of like, a varied take on a beef welling—”

“You made a fucking gourmet hot pocket?” You swallow, wheezing. The second you say this, Sydney’s focused face beams, laughing, like she’s just pulled off the most perfect prank of all time.

Carmen was so intrigued and focused on Sydney’s explanation, that you watering it down to hot pocket and being right makes his entire system reboot. He cannot stop smiling, aghast. He's been helping Syd make a hot pocket for the past hour?

“I told you to make what you want and—” wheeze “—you make a fucking hot pocket?!” You double down, laughing with her, she’s trying to defend herself but she can’t stop wheezing in tandem.

“I— I can’t fuckin’ stand you!” You snort, covering your face with your arm. “I hate your ass, oh my God, Syd.”

“Did—” snort “What did you think?” She recovers, slowly but surely.

You shake your head, handing her the fork. “It’s sick, Syd, obviously, it’s fucking perfect… Chef.” You tack on at the end, almost forgetting. “I’m not gonna be able to have an actual hot pocket, ever again. You’ve ruined my life.”

She takes a bite for herself, nodding. She does a small cheer, pumping her fist. “Let’s fucking go.” She points her fork at you— Purely on muscle memory, and you both instantly remember the days of her testing out recipes and you pairing them on first taste. She’d point her fork to you like a microphone. It was a fun game between two nerds.

It’s a reflex response for you, even now. “Barolo. Savory, dry, red. A young one, though. Light body. Could also do an Amarone, if you’re not buried in money.”

She hands the fork off to Carmy to try it, then writes the pairings down, mumbling, amusement still in her voice. “How the fuck do you do that?”

“I honestly don’t know. I think I have some wires crossed.”

“Fire, Chef.” Carmen swallows his bite. “We cannot call it a hot pocket on the menu.”

“Then what’s the point!?”

Leaving Carmen’s place is objectively the most awkward experience— But also the funniest. You offer to wait for Syd and drive her home— You’ll need a second to pack anyways while they make their business plans.

When you do offer, of course, Carmen stutters short, almost asking you again to sleep over or at the very least stay late, but saves it, realizing himself.

Syd accepts the ride offer. You pack up and wait for her to be done. When she is, Carmen offers to carry your things down with you both, in which Syd accuses him of thinking you’re both weaklings— He does not have a defense case for this, he has to let you go. You can tell he wants to kiss you at the door, and you do too. Sadly, you’re equally down bad, but he can’t know that…

You say your goodbyes, Syd helps you load your tools and hotplate in the trunk of your car. Your phone vibrates. Text from Mister New York.

‘Look up I’m on the balcony. 8 floors.’

You look up, sure as shit, he’s out there, cigarette in mouth. Unlit. He waves, you wave back. He texts again, in rapid succession.

‘Thank you’

‘For helping Syd’

‘And the oven and the hot plate and the bookshelf (not necessary)’

‘nbd + I think it’s v necessary’ Does Carmen understand acronyms? You’re risking it, here.

‘and cleaning my trash’ Sonofabitch.

‘ah fuck. I don’t think you’re messy!!! I just wanted to help!!!’

‘I know. You’re you. Be safe.’

Oh goddammit, stupid dry texter, saying something so gah. You jump as Syd taps the roof of your car behind you, getting your attention. Watching from a far distance, Carmen laughs, though you don’t notice it.

“Are we going?”

“Yes! Sorry!” You hurriedly pocket your phone, waving one last time as you get in your car. Syd sits beside you in shotgun, her pot of basil sat safely in her lap. You drive off.

You’re half way down the road, when Syd pipes up again. “So y’all are fucking, correct?”

You almost brake check the guy behind you.

“How do you fuckin’ do that!?”

the opening is dedicated to my dear friend and i who have sent our wordle results to each other everyday for the past like year and a half.

Things of note, one - people usually skip the shit up top-- I made a spotify playlist! Listen if you like, I'm not your dad.

Two, I know this is a self insert right, i know what I set myself up for-- Do you know the hell i am in as a syd x carmy girl writing scenes with both of them and it NOT being them? What have I done, to myself? The only coping mechanism I have is imagining in this universe Syd is a lesbian. And that is helping.

The hot pocket recipe-- Who fucking knows, if that would taste good? I think it would? In theory? I fucked with a dish from Daniel NYC, to make it into a bit. Would it work? ....Beef wellingtons do, I can't see why this can't???? Idk man.

Rosemary water w cloves and ginger does fucking work btw. I am part of the so stressed out i lost my hair brigade. Also basil does grow like a motherfucker.

We're seein' a little bit of that tenseness that comes with being in an 'almost relationship' both of them feel like they've got something they can fuck up now. Poor birds. They'll be okay. Probably.

I'm really excited for the next chapter, I don't wanna give shit away, but it's gonna be,,,,,, different. I haven't seen anyone try this kinda formatting on tumblr before, and I'm excited to see what you think. Between my moving and how complex the choreography of it is gonna be, it's gonna be a much longer minute between this chapter and the next, I fear. But listen, you already knew your ass was gettin' spoiled with a chapter every two days. Hehe.

As always, please come yap to me in the replies/inbox/dms/reblogs. I love to hear thoughts!! It sustains me, baby!!

Next Part

#carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen x reader #carmy berzatto #carmy x reader #the bear fanfiction #the bear x reader #the bear #the bear fx #carmy the bear #carmen berzatto x female reader

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suzukiblu · 11 months ago

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Rereading the sugar baby AU, it only now occurs to me to question the assumption that Kon only knows "absolute kiddie-level basics" of math and science considering what he says right before about being programmed by grad students + the TTK stuff he failed to mention. It feels like there could definitely be an xkcd geologists comic type situation with Kon having no idea that the equivalent of an undergrad degree in multiple science fields isn't "basic" and no one actually testing what he knows

thank you for picking up my incredibly subtle "Kon has an extremely skewed view of what other people know/can do and therefore constantly undervalues what HE can do" hints there, friend, lol. Like of fucking COURSE a plethora of Cadmus-level minds are not gonna put ONLY HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE IN THEIR SUPERMAN, COME ON CANON. I don't CARE that his education got interrupted, fuck if ANY of those scientists knew what was "normal" to be teaching a teenage brain anyway.

"I learned astropsychics in sixth grade, that's a good time to learn astropsychics, right??"

"Totally!"

elsewhere, Kon: well SUPERMAN could just punch this planet-sized problem into a fine paste and SERLING could fix this customized genetic disease Brainiac just unleashed over her coffee break and obviously EVERYONE who's out of kindergarten could solve this transdimensional cipher based in simplified Mandarian so--

Robin!Tim, desperately horny and desperately wishing he'd known Kon was like this BEFORE he was stupid enough to develop a crush on him: please stop talking before I have to climb you like a skyscraper.

#anonymous #meta ecetera

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cosmerelists · 1 year ago

Text

Who is the In-Universe Audience for Tress?

[Spoilers for Tress of the Emerald Sea!!]

This list is dedicated to the person at the DragonCon Tress panel who asked this question of the panelists and did NOT receive a good answer (or really any answer at all), in my opinion. So for you, friend, I went ahead and reread Tress and tried to collect all of the evidence about the identity of the audience that Hoid is telling the story to. Has this already been done on Reddit or other forums? Undoubtedly yes but I just wanted to see what I could discover on my own. Here are my findings!

My theory: Hoid is telling the story to a group of apprentice storytellers on the planet First of Sun. Some Rosharans are also present...or maybe just Sigzil. Allow me to explain each part of my answer!

1. Hoid is telling the story (but to an audience who also knows him as Wit)

This we know because he literally identifies himself as Hoid the cabin boy...but he also makes a couple of Wit-related puns, including:

"And with it went my sense of humor, my sense of decorum, and my sense of self. The last one stung the most, since it appears my sense of self is tied directly to my wit. I mean, it's in the name."

"Everyone can use a little more Wit in their lives."

This suggests the audience knows him both as Hoid and as Wit. More on that later!

2. The setting: First of Sun

Wherever the story is being told, it's a place with oceans made of water that have sea creatures (these things must be specified in a Cosmere setting). Hoid often alludes to the audience's familiarity with ships, including:

"Now, I know that on your planet, steering a ship isn't that big a deal."

"I know that sailors fear storms on your planet. It's common among almost all seafaring cultures I've met."

"As I've mentioned, on your planet, you may be accustomed to the helm position on the ship being relatively unimportant."

"But you come from a world where things live in the water."

That it is specifically the First of Sun is suggested by two quotes in particular:

"I can understand why you would want tales of people like Linji, who tried to sail around the world with no Aviar."

"Yes, like the speaking minds inhabiting the ships you've seen landing on your planet."

Aviars are native to First of Sun, and we learn in Sixth of the Dusk that space ships have visited that world.

3. The audience is a group of people

This actually came as a huge shock to me, as it's only revealed near the end, as far as I know. Hoid suddenly says:

"A sailing ship is a strange thing to control--I'm sure some of you know."

Some of you! Some of you?! So the audience is not a single person, but a group of people.

4. But there are also people from Roshar present...or maybe just Sigzil

Now, this may be controversial. But it seems possible that the audience also includes off-worlders, from Roshar and maybe from Scadrial as well. Certain references certainly suggest a Rosharan frame of mind:

First, there is the fact that they know him as Wit, which is Hoid's Rosharan incarnation

Second, there is this line: "Well, now that is a gemstone that truly glitters, friend." Perhaps there are big glittery gemstones on First of Sun too, but that sure seems like a Rosharan idiom.

Third, there is this line: "I assume you have no idea what a Luhel bond is....Unlike the Nahel bond, which trades in consciousness and anchoring to realty, the Luhel bond trades in physical matter." The Nahel bond is how surgebinding works on Roshar, and Hoid assumes the audience knows what that is.

It's possible that only Sigzil is present, and that Hoid keeps making asides to him, which would be pretty cute, to be honest.

5. Maybe Scadrial is represented too??

As for Scadrial, well...there's just the fact that Hoid calls himself a Worldbringer:

"Worldbringers like myself spend decades combing through folk tales, legends, myths, histories, and drunken bar songs looking for the most unique stories."

"Worldbringer" is a Scadrian term; the Rosharan equivalent would be "Worldsinger." This might not mean anything about who's present--perhaps Hoid is spreading the notion of Worldbringers to other planets like First of Sun. But I wanted to raise it as an interesting possibility.

6. The audience is comprised of apprentice storytellers

It becomes clear at the end that the people Hoid is talking to want to learn to be paid for telling stories:

"With a few tips, he wasn't so boring after all. Secretly, I'll tell you that you aren't either. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to lower your value. Don't trust them. They know they can't afford you otherwise."

This suggests that his audience want to learn to not be boring and to be paid to tell stories--so apprentices then, perhaps. Hoid also indicates that this audience knows him, and are not just a random crowd he gathered for the occasion:

"It's called the transitive property of ineptitude, and it's the explanation for anything you've seen me do wrong ever."

Hoid refers to other planets casually, suggesting an audience that wants to learn about other cultures and places, another key aspect of being a Hoid-style storyteller:

"Compared, for example, to the depth of the Lilting Abyss on Threnody, the spore seas are practically ponds."

So! That's my theory: Hoid is using the Tress tale to train a group of would-be apprentice storytellers on First of Sun, and maybe Sigzil or other Rosharans are there too.

What do you think??

#cosmere #cosmerelists #Tress of the Emerald Sea #Tress of the Emerald Sea Spoilers #ssp1 spoilers #ssp1

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mothybean · 5 months ago

Text

Airhead Part 4

My schedule the following week was insanely jam packed. It was as if all of my professors congregated to drop an assignment nuke on us. I had about 10 different assignments to complete, 3 of them were Heimerdinger’s. He drove me nuts. I had a feeling that he only became a college professor to stroke his own ego;surround himself with others who were “less intelligent” than him to make himself feel superior. I’m pretty sure it was compensation for his height. He was as tall as a stepping stool. I don’t think there was one person in our class that liked him. The moment his name was mentioned, faces would scrunch as if they just caught a whiff of rancid garbage mixed with sulfur on a hot summer's eve.

I was drowning. I was back where I started, semi clueless. Humpledink must’ve had a sixth sense knowing I was receiving help and decided to bump up the difficulty of the material. Either that, or it was my own fault for daydreaming in class. Those baby blue clouds were still vivid in my mind. I’ve been thinking about her ever since. I didn’t have the courage to reach out to her, even though I wanted to. A part of me was super nervous to even see her again. I kept running through possible scenarios of us studying together, a lot of them were painfully cringey. My biggest worry of them all was that it was going to be mega awkward.

I sat at my desk, staring at my science assignment, my hands tangled in my hair with frustration. I reread the first question at least ten times and I still didn’t understand what he was asking. Why was this so fucking difficult?! I groaned and gently knocked my forehead against my desk. I kept my head pressed against the wood, drumming my fingers against my skull. I inhaled deeply, running the idea through my head a few times before exhaling. That's it. I had to bite the possibly awkward bullet and let Jinx know I needed help.

Once again, I stood in front of Vi and Jinx’s home, only this time I ditched the weighted backpack and just brought my laptop. I figured I’d travel light in case I needed to make a run for it again-which I promised myself I wouldn’t. I was crushing hard on her. How did I expect to get close if I put distance between us? I gave the front door a solid few knocks and glanced down at the familiar cursive words beneath my feet. They needed to toss this damn thing, it didn’t match the vibe on the inside. I wasn’t a fan of cheesy suburban white mom decor. No offense.

I heard the door unlock, my eyes still glaring at the jute mat. I adjusted my laptop in my arms, silently taking a deep breath to soothe my nerves. With what little courage I managed to summon, I lifted my foot off the porch step, but immediately froze once I took notice of who answered. Jinx stood in the doorway wearing an oversized white t-shirt, a mischievous grin plastered on her lips. Her hair, no longer in braids, fell to her ankles like silky curtains. I swallowed hard. Could this girl be anymore attractive?

“H-hi.” I stammered, trying my best to keep my composure as my eyes ping ponged from her’s to her legs to my feet. Not even a couple of seconds in and I already feel like I’m making a fool of myself. Nice one Y/N.

“Hey Y/N.” She greeted me in a husky tone, pushing the door open wider to let me in. “Let’s get to it.” She smiled and flipped her hair over her shoulder as she started down the hallway, leaving me stunned at the door. I stood on the front porch watching her hips slightly sway with each step. Damn. I cleared my throat and furrowed my brows, reeling my eyes back into my sockets. I needed to chill. I was here for a study session, not a simp session.

I stepped inside, softly closing the door behind me. Eager to be close to my blue hair crush, I kicked my shoes off near the rack and walked down the hall with haste. I felt like I was gonna puke. I entered the living room, gripping the life out of my laptop. There she was, sitting comfortably on the far end of the couch, one foot propped up on the cushion, the other planted on the floor. Suddenly, studying became a distant memory as my eyes hungrily scanned the blue haired angel, tracing her tattoos yet again. I desperately wanted to touch them. I bet she was as soft as she looked.

“You ready?” Jinx asked, twirling her hair around her finger, a devious smirk still plastered. Something told me she knew I had the hots for her. Anyone with eyeballs could tell. I made it painfully obvious. I was never great at hiding my true feelings, especially when I was embarrassed. My facial flushing always gave it away. It wasn’t a cute pink tint either. My cheeks would go redder than the devil’s ass cheeks. I’d be shit out of luck if I wanted to pursue professional poker.

“Mhm.” I murmured, sitting on the opposite end of the couch as her, my hands slightly trembling as I opened my laptop to turn it on.

From my peripheral vision, I noticed Jinx staring at me, still twirling her long bluenette locks around her index finger. Avoiding her obvious gaze, I kept my eyes forward, intensely staring at my laptop’s update screen as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. Of course it would be updating right this second. I tapped my fingertips lightly against the touchpad, hoping my taps would encourage my hunk of junk to update faster.

“Technical difficulties?” Jinx questioned with a small chuckle, scooching a tad closer to me to inspect my screen. My mouth felt like the desert.

“Yeah…I’ve had this thing for a while. I’ve been denying the updates for so long I guess it finally had enough.” I laughed nervously, bouncing my leg slightly as I watched the update percentage rise slowly. I cupped my hands around the back of my neck and let my elbows fall. Safe to say it was time for a new computer.

I felt Jinx shift on the couch, causing my specific cushion to sink a bit on the side. Before I could even glance over at her, her legs stretched out across my lap, on top of the laptop.

“Oh!” I gasped, my eyes darting back and forth between her silky smooth legs and my piece of shit laptop. At that moment, I didn’t give a damn if the thing fell to the ground and shattered into a million pieces if it meant staying in our current position.

“Whaddya think?” Jinx asked, her hands dragging the hem of her oversized white shirt upwards, revealing her upper thighs. “I’m thinking about getting more tattoos, but I’m not sure what to get yet.”

I stared at her legs, my mouth slightly agape as I studied the blue clouds that traveled up her right leg. I gulped, unsure of what to do or say, this was so abrupt. The only thought that bounced around was to let my hands fall onto her beautiful legs. Using what little courage I had in me, my eyes traveled up her legs towards her thighs, stopping briefly at her pastel lavender underwear that was slightly visible before finally meeting her eyes.

“They’re…” I started, my eyes taking a quick peek at her underwear again before looking back at her. “They’re great.”

Jinx chuckled dryly and laid down on her back, not once removing her eyes from mine.

“Ya think so?” She definitely knew. I already knew I was crimson red, that was a no brainer. It was a dead give away at this point. I nodded, still staring into her blue orbs. Jinx found the hem of her shirt again, rubbing the fabric in between her fingers for a moment before slowly lifting her shirt up even more, her underwear fully visible at this point.

My body tensed as I felt the full weight of her legs on mine. I glanced at my laptop, slightly hoping the update was complete as an excuse to collect myself. Ironically, the percentage was at 69%. I felt myself blush even harder as an intrusive thought conjured after seeing the sexually coded number. What the hell was even happening? Looking back over, Jinx’s shirt was now lifted up high enough for me to see everything up to her collar bones.

“I think it suits me. What do you think, Y/N?” She questioned as she slightly moved her left leg against my stomach. Holy hell I was going to explode if she kept touching me.

“Yeah, I agree…” I trailed off. I felt like a horny teenage boy as I drooled over her figure, mentally marking the parts of her I wanted to kiss the most.

Jinx quickly sat up, her legs still weighted on mine and leaned against the back of the couch, her face mere inches from mine.

“What’s wrong?” Her tone was playful. I glanced at the laptop, checking the percentage. It was stalling at 99%. Come on you stupid piece of shi-

Jinx removed her legs off of me and stood up from the couch, almost knocking the computer off my lap in the process. She stood in front of me with her arms crossed as her eyes traveled from my face down to my laptop. Her face was hard to read, the smirk she was wearing was replaced with a more neutral expression. I had no idea what was going on inside of her mind and that scared me.

I looked back at the screen and a wave of relief washed over me. The update finally finished, the screen now displaying the home screen. I opened my mouth to say something, but Jinx took the computer off my lap and placed it next to me. I raised an eyebrow in question, watching as she slowly took a step forward, placing her hands on either side of my head, her palms against the back of the couch.

“Do you think we should study later?” Jinx asked in a sultry voice, her face leaning closer to mine. My heart was pounding. Was she about to kiss me? Our lips, centimeters from touching, a sudden annoying beeping sound echoed throughout the living room. I pulled back from her face and looked around for the source.

“Get up.” Jinx said sternly. I furrowed my brows, unsure of what she meant. “Get up.” She repeated as she pushed off the couch.

My eyes shot open, my eyes darting around my surroundings. I was in my bedroom. Holy shit, that was a dream?

#lgbt #jinx fanfic #arcane jinx #jinx fanfiction #jinx x reader #jinx x fem!reader #arcane fanfiction #arcane

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asecretvice · 6 months ago

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hi!! i’m rereading “and this, your living kiss” (for about the sixth time bc i love it so so much), and i’m very curious what your personal opinion is about on the road? you write both opinions of the book so well and i know it’s one of those books that garner very opposite strong opinions. i read the book after reading your fic for the first time and certainly have my own strong opinions. would love to know your thoughts about it!

(and once again thank you for the absolute gift that your fic is, i love it so deeply)

Firstly, thank you so much for your kind words about my writing. It means the world <3

On the Road is a tricky one, isn't it? The short answer is, I do enjoy it. The longer answer includes a "but." And then a couple more.

Just looking at the specs of the book, it's pretty unusual that I should enjoy it--the subject matter is mostly [white] dudes being dudes, it's more or less "literary" fiction, there's just...SO MUCH misogyny, and I'm simply not a big fan of stream of consciousness [or free association, or spontaneous, or whatever you want to call it] prose, because it's difficult to do it both clearly and interestingly. And yet.

The guy does it well. The book is full of energy and passion, ridiculously gorgeous turns of phrase, and for the characters [real people!] he spends the time on, the portraits are so detailed and beautiful and ugly and real. Down to the way he captures their speech patterns!

It's been a little over ten years since I've read it [what is. time.], but I plucked the book off my shelf and was able to find you the exact passage in the first chapter where I decided to trust Kerouac as an author, and allow myself to go with his flow:

They rushed down the street together, digging everything in the early way they had, which later became so much sadder and perceptive and blank. But then they danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!" What did they call such young people in Goethe's Germany?

I mean, this thought starts with another device I tend not to like, the sort of, "If only they'd known, then this wouldn't have happened!" or "Little did they know, it would all end soon" or what have you. But it isn't laid out that way, as a wink or a gotcha. It sets up the dim result, but then gives you the answer without holding your hand about it--you can only burn like that for so long, really. And the nod to "young people in Goethe's Germany," and mentioning the colors blue and yellow, in my view, are an intentional reference to The Sorrows of Young Werther.

The structure is great! This passage is three sentences, the middle one taking up the bulk of it. It's got all sorts of qualities that well-meaning teachers might try to convince you out of, but he's long past that beginner's stage. Read it out loud! It sounds right. The rhythm of this whole section works, with the lead up sentence, the one that flies higher and higher into a climax, and then the short denouement that brings you back down to earth. Not to mention the poetics of it; you could easily split that middle sentence into lines and be wowed by the structure of it:

and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved

Or hell, just say aloud the phrase "candles exploding like spiders across the stars" and delight in the recurring phonemes like /k/, /l/, /d/, /s/, etc.

And you know, maybe that does nothing for you. But I can't imagine that most folks wouldn't at least appreciate the sentiment and how real it feels, how some are in their youth, and then things becoming "so much sadder." Or relate to times when you felt fully mad or overwhelmingly desirous. Or being the person shambling behind, the one ever so slightly on the outside, observing the ones who seem to be truly living their lives to the fullest [Writers' Syndrome(tm)].

So yes, I enjoy the book and I enjoy the pictures Kerouac paints us. It certainly helps that I read this book right around the time I started watching spn. I believe it was probably a month or so after I'd caught up. It was on the docket anyway because I had discovered Ginsberg for myself not very long before I watched the show, and I'd made a point to seek out a few of the beats thereafter. It was rather a synchronous turn of events that helped cement the two things--spn and beat literature--together for me, beyond the movement's heavy influence on Kripke. [If you don't think I have a beats-style spn fic that's been waiting to be written since that time which I've nicknamed Sulfur Sutra then you are sorely mistaken :p ]

Anyway, I did reread the first chapter before writing this post and yeah, the mommy issues and misogyny are in there right away also, and like...okay, that tracks why I recall so well certain moments of the book where I got so frustrated I would be taken out of it and just sit there like

[I hope he felt my eyes. Burning shame into his soul. Like my dude. Really?]

The other part of it is...well...he was in fact describing his version of reality. You don't have to like him on account of it, but I don't doubt for a moment that the guys talked that way, or thought that yes indeed Marylou should go to the kitchen or go sweep the floor or whatever. It takes place in the 40s [not like it doesn't happen all the time today]. Look at it from a more historical/anthropological perspective, if that helps.

Thankfully, there are antidotes to all this. I would highly recommend what I've found to be the best one: Minor Characters by Joyce Johnson. She was part of the beats, and was in a relationship with Kerouac for a couple years. On the Road was reality as he perceived the era; Minor Characters as she perceived it.

In terms of my fic, I agree with and hold both Dean's and Charlie's perspectives simultaneously, as they both come to do after they discuss it with each other and finish the book themselves. The gender politics [and in a few passages, the race politics] are shit, but there's a reason the book has remained popular since its publication, and inspired so many adaptations and other stories. To this day its effects are felt in the American zeitgeist, and for that reason I'm still happy to recommend it to people with the obvious caveats. Besides, as is often the truth in these cases, the book is so much more interesting and beautiful and nuanced than pop culture makes it out to be.

You said you have some strong opinions--feel free to tell me what they are! I'm interested to know ^_^

Thank you again for your kind words, and your ask. I had a lot of fun answering it!

#opal replies #the beat generation #literature #living kiss #radiostranger

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harrowharks-iliac-crest · 7 months ago

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The Nine Houses

Worldbuilding/Lore

<< Previous: Masterpost

The Nine Houses refer to planets, named, presumably, in order of colonisation. I'm befuddled as to which one is which planet, if we're going on the assumption that this is the solar system. This is what I've extrapolated from reading:

First is Earth.

Second is most likely Mars - gathered from the fighting energy of its house, proximity to Earth and viability for terraforming, and also this:

"[...]Each Beast is different. I have fought numerous now, and each Beast is quite unlike any other … Number Two spewed quicksilver and remade itself into hundred-foot spikes. Number Six kept sucking us into enormous sphincters and spraying us with worms. I cannot even remember what it looked like. I remember Number Four … it was a humanoid creature with a beautiful face who held me under the water, and it spoke in a lovely voice but it only repeated, die, die—and I recall Number One as a great and incoherent machine … when I saw it I thought it had a great tail, and a thousand broken pillars on its back, but Cassiopeia saw it as a mechanical monster with swords for wings, and great horns of myelin, tessellated over with graves.” It was the Saint of Duty who said, restlessly: “Number Eight was a giant head.” “Finned like a fish,” said Augustine, lost in reverie. “Its ribs were bloody bandages, and its teeth protruded through its own skull, tangled about its face like a nest. It was red, and it had a single eye of green that moved all about the body …"

Metal-related appearance, from the planet notoriously rusty.

Actually, this passage describing the Resurrection Beasts - revenants of the planets - was the thing that got me into trying to assign planets to Houses based on, mostly, vibes.

Forth could be Venus, based on this passage alone. I could easily be wrong.

Sixth is Mercury I reckon. In the epilogue of HtN the setting is described as very hot - close to Dominicus. I reread it now and I don't think it's ever mentioned to be set on the Sixth, in fact parts of it actively contradict that assumption, but somehow I seem to have gotten that into my head anyway? But even so, Sixth is described as the one closest to Dominicus - notably this passage:

The Emperor dropped to his haunches and eased the white robe off Mercy’s dead shoulders. He shrugged his naked body into it—coyly pulling it closed—and he stretched his jaw in his mouth, and wriggled the tip of his newly grown nose. “Right,” he said, and closed his eyes briefly. Then he said, “The sun has stabilized. Hope the Sixth House didn’t get cooked in the flare.”

This to me pretty much confirmed the Sixth as Mercury.

Eighth, in the above passage about the Resurrection Beasts, is described in ways that immediately make me picture Jupiter. Red, a single eye of green moving all over the body? Ribs were bloody bandages? A "giant head" - Jupiter, in Roman mythology was the king of the gods? Am I way off the mark here?

And Ninth is Pluto, furthest from the sun, cold and desolate. And solid. (How are they pulling off living on gas giants?)

This leaves the Third, Fifth, Seventh houses to be matched with Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. At a loss, still, for how gas giants are supposed to be colonised. The general infrastructure of the pre- and post-resurrection world/Empire has me asking questions like, where do they get the materials to build starships and feed their officers? Metal and plastic seem abundant. In terms of food we've mostly seen snow leeks, Canaan House and the Mithraeum, all of which are probably exceptional to what a regular House person eats. There is some talk of John's expansion and colonising efforts, so do they just go to random planets - are there aliens in this universe? (Is Alecto one?) So the Empire is expanding, mining colonised planets for ore and oil to turn into plastic - though that would indicate a lot of life on a lot of these planets, so I'm gonna guess that whatever happens to those planets isn't kind to the native flora, fauna and people.

Of course, there's always the option that this isn't meant to be the planets at all, and even if it was, it might be a lot more metaphorical. Or just actually a completely different world to ours, not the solar system at all. (Though there's many explicit and implicit pop culture references which would indicate the First to truly be Earth, so we're sticking with this theory.)

Are they actually on the planets - we haven't seen any planets other than First, and Ninth, arguably big exceptions; the Epilogue seems to be set on a moon of some kind, after a more thorough reread. The Actual Planets are dead, or rather resurrected, with their revenants on the hunt. Could be that the Houses do stand for the planets, and some people might be living on (or near) the actual planets, but a lot of people are actually living away from the solar system entirely - born into "Houses" far from the sun, into the Emperor's war machine. It's hard to tell.

Either way, I'm not gonna assign any more planets now until I know more.

>> Next: The Resurrection

#does this count as liveblog? i'll tag it as if it does for now #tlt liveblog #tlt theories #the locked tomb #tlt #no nona the ninth spoilers please #the locked tomb liveblog #tlt spoilers #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth

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abigail-pent · 2 years ago

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oooh ok so I've started my Harrow reread and I noticed something interesting.

"You stared with calm vacuity at a six-sided container draped with the Second House's scarlet and white, which had no human remains inside."

Three Houses are mentioned in this passage as "aberrant": the Second, the Third, and the Sixth, and their aberrance consists of the fact that they're missing bodies. The Sixth coffin contains some parts of Palamedes' body, and is missing Camilla because she's alive. We know the Third coffin is empty because the twins are both alive and Ianthe has taken Babs' body into her own custody. The Second is missing Judith because she's alive, but Marta? Her body was at Canaan House, and there's no reason I can see why it wouldn't have been recovered along with the others. Sure, it was in bad shape, but not worse than Palamedes. And as far as I can tell from AYU, Blood of Eden doesn't seem to have Marta's remains in the same way as they have Gideon's body at this point. It's possible that Judith and the crew managed to bury or cremate Marta before BOE arrived, but if that's the case, then why not the others? Where is Marta Dyas' body??

#tlt #tlt meta #htn #marta dyas

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benkyoutobentou · 3 months ago

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31 Days of Productivity Reading もう一回！: Day 7

Before: I do have some books that I’m hoping get chosen with this new spinner wheel site, but leaving it up to fate is my favorite pastime.

Starting off strong with the new wheel! Today’s read is going to be the most recent volume of 光が死んだ夏！This isn’t a series that I’m just starting, unlike the majority of options, but one that I’m keeping up with as it releases and had to include because I just couldn’t wait to read it. I initially expected this series to go in a completely different direction than what’s currently happening, but I’ve been really enjoying how it’s turning out, especially in the last volume (volume four).

Also, I plan on making some wagashi today so hopefully I’ll share some pics.

After: I made anmitsu today! I love it, but it's so much work to put each bowl together that I don't make it very often. The bananas are freshly homegrown from my neighbor's sister's tree! We're not here to talk about dessert though, we're here to talk about manga.

I did indeed finish my volume of 光が死んだ夏 today! I've been following this series since it was just one wee little volume and it quickly became one of my favorites. However, now that the series is getting a little longer, I think I'm noticing some pacing issues. I loved volumes one and two, but three fell a little flat for me. Volume four was fantastic, but this volume slowed down again, with the exception of one or two really great chapters. One thing that really intrigued me about that though was the あとがき where Mokmok Sensei mentioned that volumes one through three were part of one arc and volumes four and five were another arc, so the next volume will start a new arc for the series. Maybe I just don't like the way they end things? Depending on how long the series goes on for, I'm sure that Mokmok Sensei will improve over the course of the series so I'm still holding out that the series end as a whole still has as much of a chance as any other series to land on both feet. I think when the series is nearing its conclusion I might go back and reread the whole thing to see what I think of the pacing when its read altogether. This volume also circled back to something that was mentioned and dropped in volume one or two, which I was really pleased to see, but it was only in the extra chapter which just kind of miffed me. It certainly seemed like something that I would want in the main story, but I understand the constraints of serializing a manga, especially one as lore heavy as this one.

Anyways, I ended up reading 191 pages of manga today to finish my sixth read of the month! I'm honestly really liking this "method" (as if its on purpose lmao) of front loading my manga reads to the beginning of the month. Now I feel like I have the whole rest of the month to focus on reading novels without worrying about getting that manga count up, like what happened last time I did this challenge. Don't let me regret saying that.

#i feel like i dont usually talk much about the actual contents of what im reading here but i had a lot to say about this volume #and this is the perfect space to just get it all out #oh on that #would you all want little synopses of what im reading? right now im just throwing the names out there #maybe i should make a poll #langblr #studyblr #30 days of productivity #booklr #benkyou posting #coming back to edit my tags right before this posts to say #I just watched a video on gothic literature and it made me realize that hikanatsu is extremely gothic #no wonder I love it so much

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butterflydm · 1 year ago

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Since you're on a reread right now (and I don't have the spoons for one), I'm curious: does Min pass the Bechdel test after she leaves Salidar?

Oh, that is a huge task, anon!

Haha, off the top of my head, I can't think of any -- maybe her telling Melaine about her being pregnant, if you count her napping on Rand's lap as her 'leaving' her earlier conversation and starting a new one, oh but Rand is still part of that convo, so I guess it doesn't count. Ah, maybe a super-late series conversation she has once she leaves Rand's side counts.

I know that most of the female characters talk to other female characters about plot points fairly frequently but once Min gloms herself to Rand, most of her conversations happen with at least one man around or a man as the object of the convo, I think. But actually sifting through the books to check would be a pretty big task.

What I can do is run a general search on my pdfs and see if I get any results that might count. I'm going to use "Min said" or "said Min" as my search phrases, which is not ideal and probably won't find every time she talks to someone (it misses any time she was introduced in a scene via prose but then Jordan used "she said", for example) but should hopefully give an idea.

TEotW: the only time she talks to someone 'on-screen' in this book is her conversation with Rand, so nothing in this book.

TGH: has ten conversations in this book. First one mentions Rand; second one mentions Galad and Logain; third one mentions Rand (and is the first occurrence of her blaming Rand for things that are her own choice); fourth one mentions Doman; fifth one counts!; sixth is with Doman; seventh one counts!; eighth one counts!; ninth one is about Rand; tenth is with Rand. So 3 out of 10 aren't about or with men.

TDR: has four conversations in this book. First one is about Rand; second one is about Rand; third one is about Rand; fourth one is about Rand. So 0 for 4 in this one.

TSR: has four conversations in this book. First one mentions Gawyn; second one is with Gawyn and Galad; third one is about Rand; fourth one is her helping Leane and Siuan escape and counts; fifth one is with Gawyn. 1 out of 4.

TFoH: has five conversations. First one is about Gareth Bryne and Rand; second one maybe technically counts but Min is thinking about men a lot during it; third one is about Logain; Elayne and Min's reunion technically counts because they don't mention Rand out loud but he's the obvious subtext; and then they do talk about him in the fifth conversation. So... two half points adding up to one full one?

LoC: has six conversations. First one is about Rand (and is Min expressing the idea that Rand is the only thing that gives her happy thoughts); the second is about Rand; the third is her reunion with Rand; the fourth technically counts but is about her escaping Merana and the embassy so that she can go see Rand again; the fifth is Perrin introducing Faile and Min; the sixth is with Rand. So maybe half a point, but that 'conversation' is a single line of dialogue and the subtext was about Rand.

ACoS: has four conversations. First one is with Rand; second one is with Rand; third one is about Rand; fourth one is with Rand. 0 out of 4.

TPoD: has three conversations. First one is Min fetching drinks for Rand and Dobraine; second one is with Rand; third one is with Rand. 0 out of 3.

WH: has seven conversations. First one is with Rand; second one is with Rand; third one is about Rand (Min talks about how she "doesn't tell him things he doesn't need to know"); third one is the group love confession to Rand; fourth one is about Rand; fifth one is with Rand; sixth one is about Rand; seventh one is with Rand. 0 out of 7.

CoT: has one conversation, with Rand. 0 out of 1.

KoD: has eight conversations. First one is about Rand; second one is about Rand; third one is with Rand (and is the infamous "Min struts sexily through corpses on a battlefield" scene); fourth is with Rand; fifth is with Rand and Loial; sixth is with Rand; seventh is about Rand; eighth is about Rand. 0 out of 8.

TGS: has nine conversations. First is with Rand; second is with Rand; third is with Rand; fourth is about Rand; fifth is with Rand; sixth is with Rand; seventh is about Rand; eighth is about Rand; ninth is about Rand. 0 out of 9.

ToM: has seven conversations. First is about Rand; second is with Rand; third is with Rand; fourth is with Rand; fifth is with Rand; sixth is with Rand; seventh is with Rand. 0 out of 7.

AMoL: has fourteen conversations. First is with Rand; second is with Bryne; third is about Bryne; fourth is with Mat (and features their bizarrely appearing from nowhere friendship); fifth is with Mat; sixth is with Mat; seventh is about Mat; eighth includes Mat but most of the scene is a conversation between Min and slaver princess; ninth is with Mat; tenth is about Gareth Bryne and Mat (her convo with Siuan); eleventh technically counts but it's her leaving a helpless slave to die while cursing her for not helping (when Min should know that it's impossible) and is only two words and is said along the way to rescuing Mat, which is her focus in the scene; twelfth is with Mat; thirteenth is about Mat; and her last scene in the series is about Rand. So... half a point out of 14, I guess?

Just for comparison's sake, I'll pull out a random book for Aviendha and see what I get. I used a randomizer to give me a book number between 3-14 and got 9, so Winter's Heart. I'll use the same criteria ("Aviendha said" and "said Aviendha"). I'm doing Aviendha instead of, for example, Elayne, because I feel like Aviendha is closer to the same kind of secondary character status as Min, while Elayne is a main character so she's going to be talking a lot more.

Aviendha in Winter's Heart: ten conversations.

First conversation is her first-sister bonding with Elayne. While it does touch on Rand during the confessions, the bonding itself is a whole group of women talking about a bonding ceremony between two women. Still, for fairness sake, I won't count it.

Second conversation is talking with Birgitte about Nynaeve. 1 point.

Third conversation is with Birgitte, Elayne, and Nynaeve and they talk about Dyelin's loyalty and Aviendha teases Elayne about her being overly proud. They do mention male assassins during the convo, so I won't count it.

Fourth conversation is the love confession with Rand (as mentioned above).

The fifth conversation is introducing Min to Birgitte. Again, Rand is somewhat mentioned here, so I won't count it.

Sixth conversation mentions Elayne tricking people into thinking Mellar is her kids' dad, so doesn't count.

Seventh is Aviendha and Elayne talking about pregnancy and the Kin, so that's a second point.

Eighth is Aviendha, Elayne, and Birgitte talking over plans; third point.

Ninth is Aviendha talking to Birgitte about Elayne. Fourth point.

Tenth is Aviendha talking to Master Norry to get him to leave a very-tired Elayne alone, doesn't count.

For 4 out of 10 for Aviendha there.

#wot book spoilers #a memory of light #replies to anon #wot #wheel of time #min farshaw #wot replies

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cerealandchoccymilk · 1 year ago

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Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapter #05

previous | all | next

CW: Some of my analysis in this post handles the topic of death and suicide (there will be a warning around that portion). There are also more spoilers than usual. Stay safe!

I’m doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc.

As always, here are the silly silly non-analysis panels:

And the rest is under the cut >:)

[link for if the images aren’t in horizontal rows]

Milly and Meryl (especially Milly goddamn) rolling nat 20's on their perception checks. It really is scary how good their sixth sense is.

In the previous chapter, Vash asked for (and for a while was using) a 3rd class seat, but it looks like he asked for a grade-up or something to accomodate for Kaito.

A sort-of mistranslation - Kaito means that Vash talks as if he were someone from the Big Fall (because in that time period, there's no way any human from then would be alive), so it should be more like "You talk as if you were actually at the Big Fall, over a hundred years ago." The existing phrasing could also mean that, but this would make it less ambiguous. Also, I would replace his "I/my" statements with "we/our," since it's not specified and he assumes Vash is just a human that's talking weirdly.

This line is really interesting to me from a rereading standpoint. At this point, Vash's origins and age are still a mystery, and this is the first hint at it. Vash's expression makes me think that maybe he was reminded that no one other than him (+Knives+the people at the Home ship) is from that time period. To the overwhelming majority of people, No Man's Land is their only home; this life is all they know.

Don't have much to say about this one that's not in the image. Vash's pussy is out again. Excellent (horrible) form. Kaito is either a bit worried about how hard he fell, or he doesn't give a shit and is just nervous/cautious about the mission.

I love how over-the-top neon is. Smoking a firework!! Damn!!

A decent amount of lines from Neon and the BL gang (I'm going to call them that exclusively) are in katakana English.

I like how he says "maggots" in place of the...rude 3rd person pronoun (??)(that sounds kinda stupid in english lmao) Neon says something more like "It's about time that boy set everything up!!" referring to the small bombs he was putting in the vents.

His pose here reminds me of kabuki. I'm not sure about details, since I don't know much about kabuki... But it looks like a stereotypical kabuki pose. Another over-the-top point for Neon.

In Japanese, the first line has "reeking of manure" describing the wagons. For the "Big Man" in Japanese, the kanji for the sandsteamer (砂蒸気, usually ruby-ed サンドスチーム/sandsteamer) with the ruby note saying Big Man (ビッグ・マン). Also, the guy mentions that the chasing them off is part of the fee they paid.

More over-the-top-ness from Neon. In the Japanese version, the first line looks a lot like one of those super long German words to me lol (究極華麗弩級盗賊). The portion saying "The Bad Lads Gang!" in Japanese is pretty much just "Hhhhhheaaaddd!!!!" (as in leader).

The introduction for Neon actually has play on words/kanji. The word 降臨 (kōrin) is originally for Christ's coming or descent, usually used for any arrival of someone "godly" (fyi Japanese has a much more casual sense of godliness than in English). What it says here, though, is 光臨, which replaces the first hald with the character for "light" (also kō). How bright can this guy get!?

Did Kaito nicely go through the trouble of moving Vash onto the bed before venting? how... that's a grown man...

And here is Rem's first appearance!! Just now realized that her name is probably based off of REM sleep (the stage of sleep associated with dreaming). The two are wearing similar (but not the same) clothes, with Rem wearing a tucked t-shirt and jeans, and Vash wearing an untucked button-up and jeans. I'm not smart enough for this but there's gotta be something to analyze here along with the fact that Vash is an adult (the dream isn't entirely based on memory)... Also, this is the first time we see Vash in a casual outfit.

This may very well be me reading into things too much, but it stuck out to me that Rem is barefoot while Vash has sneakers on. I had two speculations about this. One is that Rem has been at that picnic for longer than Vash, and Vash just got (appeared...?) there. I'm not sure about Western picnic customs/etiquette, but in Japan, you always take your shoes off when sitting down on the tarp. Rem is the one that set the picnic up, but Vash hasn't had the chance to even take his shoes off. this sounds kinda stupid now that im typing it out. idek (throws computer out of window) [death/sui cw] The other, more messed up one is that it symbolizes Rem's death. This one is definitely more overanalysis-y!! It reminded me of what Reigen did during the final arc of MP100...iykyk. During the Great Fall, Rem willingly stayed on the ship to save humanity, sacrificing herself. I'll spare the details, but in Japanese culture, people often take their shoes off before committing suicide. It's a frequently used symbol in art that handles the topic. Rem being barefoot may be symbolizing her resolve at the time of her death, of being prepared to die if it means she can save one more person. [/cw]

did i write all that for a single panel. this aut really be isming OH MY GOD MY COMPUTER JUST RAN OUT OF BATTERY I HAD A HEART ATTACK. I FORGOT IT WASNT PLUGGED IN HOLY SHIT THANK GOD FOR AUTOSAVE.

This line of Vash's is also interesting. Is he viewing "people" from an outsider's perspective, as an independent Plant? Or is including himself in that, questioning the meaning of his own current life in the desert planet, too?

In Japanese. way he responded to Rem's giggling looked a bit childish to me, like he reverted a bit back to his childhood, or he's just being a more relaxed around Rem. mom........

Ok okokok. In Japanese, she (more literally) says "All I can muster/the best I can do is ask my heart [the destination] (read: what I can do)." This may be a translation correction but I honestly was not thinking about that at all during the annotation lol. I'm too sleepy to actually talk about the importance of this line and the way it's phrased. but you get it. you get it.........

Silly Vash face for the first time in a while!! Vash's reaction upon waking gives me the impression that this is the first time (in a long while, at least) that he's dreamed about Rem...? he looks so cute..........................help...................

And that’s it for Chapter #05! As always, the Japanese annotations are in the reblogs.

i know i'm getting very behind. theres absolutely no way im going to complete all this in real time with the book club. and all this stuff about rem is not helping. send help

#hopefully we can just catch up once the trimax weeks start #since they have significantly less chapters per volume lmao #trigunbookclub #trigun annotation #trigun #trigun manga

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