#now I need to go back and reread all of these
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leona-hawthorne · 21 hours ago
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okay i have been waiting for this on the edge of my seat and i'm so fucking grateful that i finally got to sit down and read it (alone, of course, because my reactions were quite literally animalistic)
let me also add that the warnings themselves had me fucking moaning—alright now let's get into this!!
zoya, your writing truly has me in complete awe. "english is not my first language" okay and it appears that that literally does not matter at all because this??? this was a goddamn masterpiece.
(apologies in advance bc this is going to be an extremely long reblog)
He was insane. Truly insane. Almost unhinged. Mattheo Riddle was the definition of impulsive thoughts turned into reckless actions, actions that always led him to trouble. He was raw, magnetic, and dangerously unpredictable, the kind of person who attracted attention without even trying.
okay, but this right here??? the way you captured mattheo's essence so perfectly, i’m obsessed. like, he’s not just reckless—he’s raw and magnetic, and that’s such a powerful way to describe someone who’s constantly teetering on the edge of chaos. it’s like you reached into his chaotic little soul and pulled out the perfect words. it’s giving “force of nature,” and the way you wrote it feels so vivid and alive, like i can see him and feel the tension he carries everywhere he goes. your writing is so sharp and evocative, i can’t stop rereading this bit.
He didn’t just attract trouble; he craved it, needed it like it was the only thing keeping him seen.
the truth was different: he thrived on attention, bad or good, as if he needed it to keep himself whole.
my babyyy, he craves trouble like it’s the only way he can feel noticed. it’s like he’s reduced his own worth to just being seen and perceived by others, even if it means chaos. love how you captured that desperation in such a short line.
every corner seemed like an unsettling, cavernous form that resembled a muggle abandoned cathedral. It felt sacred in a weird twisted way, as if it were built to bear the weight of sinful actions that were too heavy to confess elsewhere.
how do you set the tone so well?!? the imagery is wildly vivid—i can almost feel the heaviness of the space, like it’s got its own dark history!!
The only thing he knew for sure was that you almost had him entirely.
And for him, that was awful enough.
oh this killed me—the tension between wanting something and being terrified of it. mattheo’s vulnerability here is chef's kiss, showing how much he's fighting against his feelings, even when he’s almost lost to them. such a perfect snapshot of their dynamic.
He never quite understood why his heart raced when he was in your presence, as if it might break through his ribs, his flesh, and fall directly into your palms, fully out of his power. At times he couldn't help but press his hand against his own chest, trying to stop it, trying to hold it back, but it only frustrated him further.
Nevertheless, there were times when he nearly wished his heart would simply give way and land in your hands so you could do with it whatever you pleased, whether that meant crushing it entirely or holding it tenderly between your fingers.
okay i am genuinely so in love with this whole part, i had to reread it like 3 times 😵‍💫 the internal conflict is so palpable—like, he’s torn between wanting to control something that’s clearly already beyond his grasp, but also secretly wishing to surrender to the one person who can break him. the image of him physically pressing down on his chest to stop it??? i am actually crying, zoya. ugh, and the fact that he doesn't care whether he'd be hurt or cared for—he just wants her, FUCK he is obsessed.
This ritual, this moment—it was his, only his. Yet, for some reason, he felt a twisted satisfaction knowing he was going to share it with you.
AHDHSFG his possessive ass actually enjoying sharing something??? aw he likes her 😚🤗
Mattheo let out a low, almost manic laugh as his gaze remained fixed on the blade in his hand.
the way he kept laughing like a fucking maniac throughout the entirety of this fic OMG i can almost hear it in my head, he's so fucking hot.
his grip tightening around your hand, not to soothe you, but to remind himself you were still there
I'M BLUSHING, idk if he's doing that solely because of the ritual but either way, the fact that he wants to reassure himself that she didn't go anywhere is making my heart squeeze in my chest 🥹
Mattheo chuckled dryly, releasing your hand to stop you from gripping it, from finding any comfort in his presence.
BITCH??!?! YOU ASSHOLE, hold my hand i'm scared ☹️
He was an insensitive prick, but dear god, he was a beautiful one. 
this is so true—HE'S FUCKING MEAN, but i genuinely have never seen a more angelic man 😭🪽
Shit, you’re not wearing a bra.
Mattheo swore the zipper on his pants was going to break any second.
alr here we go (i'm horny now)
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Without a word he reached up and tugged his shirt over his head, casting it aside without care.
well shit, now we're both hard, mattheo!! 🤜💥🤛 (i am drooling at the thought of this rn)
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Your bare chests were almost touching, the air thick with tension, your hard nipples brushing just slightly against his skin.
no, you actually don't understand—this is so intimate, i can just imagine the silence and the only sound being their heavy ass breathing, its so 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 also i think i would lose my mind if my nips were like JUST BARELY brushing against him, what a tease
With a deep breath, you pressed the blade to your palm, hissing softly as the edge cut into your skin, making you feel even more bare and open than you already did.
idk if you've seen stranger things but this is making me think of when nancy and jonathan did the same exact thing and cut their palms. that scene and the matching scars and just them in general is so dear to me, so this is making me feel so many things rn
Without warning, his lips pressed against the spot, his tongue tracing the blood.
“It’s so sweet,” he murmured, his teeth grazing the skin of your neck, the crimson of your blood staining them as he pulled you closer, pressing you against him in a way that felt almost inhuman. “So fucking sweet.”
okay mr vampire!! (this is so fucking hot i am literally struggling to function rn and i am lucky i didn't read this during ovulation 🙂‍↕️)
Mattheo chuckled in satisfaction, bringing his bloodied hand to your stomach, the crimson spreading across your exposed skin like a mark. “You like it, don’t you?”
MY JAW DROPPED PLEASE OH MY GOD, HIM SPREADING THE COLD BLOOD ON HER STOMACH?? I CAN IMAGINE MYSELF JERKING AWAY OMF YES DADDY I LOVE IT
Mattheo chuckled again against your throat, his teeth sinking into the spot once more, making you moan. He mimicked the sound...
i'm being so serious, this part will live on in my brain forever. him MIMICKING/MOCKING HER MOAN??? HE'S SO MEAN AND COCKY HOLY FUCK THAT WAS SO HOT
he guided your hand to your neck, then down to your breasts, trailing the blood like a map. Before you could react to the sting of your hard nipple pressing against the cut, Mattheo moved faster, pulling your nipple—now smeared with your own blood—into his mouth. 
spreading her own blood all over her body just so he can lick it off, oml can you spread my legs open next, mattheo? 😇 (jk, they're already spread)
The way his hands pushed your now bloody breasts together enough for his head to dive between them as he continued to whisper praises, words of hunger.
“Your tits…”Mattheo moaned even louder, dragging a moan from your lips in response. Fuck, he was so close.
first, AJDGHFDJHDRFGJHAFGHJSRGFJHSRF him pressing her tits together just to SHOVE HIS FACE IN BETWEEN oh he's so down bad 🤭 also the "your tits..." BOY. he was so cocky and degrading before—now he's all pathetic and obsessing over her tits? ah, just what I love to see 😮‍💨
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“Open your mouth,” he commanded, an order you immediately understood. You obeyed without hesitation, and before you could react, he spat into your mouth and thrust his tongue inside, kissing you deeply.
yes sir please spit in my mouth (he's so nasty and disgusting and i fucking love him for it)
You could feel Mattheo’s cheeks pressed against your thighs as he buried himself in your pussy, suffocating himself in your scent and taste. He mentally begged some higher power to let him one day die like this...
YES PLEASE LET ME SUFFOCATE YOU BETWEEN MY LEGS MATTY PLS 🙏 "let him one day die like this" he is so obsessed god i love this so much
“Such a pretty one you are,” he muttered, his words slurring into the juices of your cunt.
THE WAY HE CAN'T TEAR HIS FACE AWAY EVEN JUST FOR A MOMENT TO SPEAK AJDGSGDFHSDFG i would actually be dying at all the praise
clearly, i got a little carried away with this reblog (this is literally the longest reblog i’ve ever made 🧍🏻‍♀️), but what can i say? this was 6.3k words of art and i had to include all my favorite parts 🤷‍♀️🙂‍↕️
love you zoya!!!! 🫂🤍
𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐍
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mattheo riddle x fem reader
SUMMARY. in which mattheo seeks power and needs your help to perform a blood ritual. WORDS. +6.3K. english is not my first language.
WARNINGS. smut, mdni, porn w//plot, mean mattheo, aged up characters, friends to fuck buddies, blood play, blood kink, cuts, spitting, nipple sucking, oral sex f!receiving, pussy drunk mattheo, handjob, dirty talk, biting, marking.
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navigation -> masterlist
He was insane. Truly insane. Almost unhinged. Mattheo Riddle was the definition of impulsive thoughts turned into reckless actions, actions that always led him to trouble. He was raw, magnetic, and dangerously unpredictable, the kind of person who attracted attention without even trying. Every move he made, every word he spoke, every breath he took was saturated with confidence and superiority.
He didn’t just attract trouble; he craved it, needed it like it was the only thing keeping him seen.
Mattheo was like a storm no one could outrun, an enigma without resolution, and that was exactly what made him so intoxicating. There was something in his presence that pulled people toward him, whether in admiration or fear, and no one could quite decide if it was for better or worse. He wasn’t just hard to ignore; he was impossible to overlook. He demanded attention simply by existing, and it was maddening, the way he could dominate a room with nothing more than a simple glance.
It could have been for a lot of reasons. Maybe it was the way he acted like he didn’t have a care in the world, the sharp, biting comments he always seemed to have ready, words that stuck like blood on stone.Or maybe it was the fights, the way he seemed to throw himself into them too often, always coming out with the same satisfied expression. After all, he was the only son of the Dark Lord, and that alone was enough to draw all kinds of attention.
Whatever was the reason, chaos seemed to follow him everywhere, like he thrived on it. Perhaps he didn’t care at all. No outsider really knew, and no one ever tried to figure him out. Nobody had the courage to do so.
Either way, there were always whispers about him, cruel rumors about his personality and massive ego, some saying he was just like his father, or maybe even a darker version of him, while others came from students eager to get close in obscene ways, hoping to spend a night with their bodies tangled in his. 
Yet Mattheo didn’t show that he cared, always pretending to be focused on his own goals, moving through the chaos unshaken and unbothered, though deep down, the truth was different: he thrived on attention, bad or good, as if he needed it to keep himself whole.
But you had seen enough to know the truth. He was cruel, ruthless, and everything people whispered about him, perhaps even worse. And yet, here you were, trapped in his chaos, each moment with him drawing you deeper into the darkness.
You were trapped. Absolutely trapped.
Perhaps it was in the way he looked at you, his deep brown eyes burning with an intensity that stole your breath away, leaving you struggling to keep your heart from racing, as if he saw something inside of you that you weren’t capable of seeing. Or maybe it was the way his words stayed in your mind long after they were spoken, carving their way into your thoughts like a knife you didn’t want to pull out, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were already in too deep.
If you thought about it more, you didn’t know what had brought you here. The main factor to why you were so attracted to an ongoing fire.
Could be the adrenaline from his strange proposal, or the way you couldn’t stop thinking about him, his presence always glued to your mind. Could also be the need to be near him, the way your body moved toward his as if it had no will of its own, or perhaps it was the way he seemed to control your heart in a way you couldn’t even understand. It was twisted, even a little scary, but neither of you cared.
After all, you were friends.
You didn’t know when it stopped feeling like curiosity—just a lingering thought— but the doubt never really went away. Instead it became prominent, tight in your chest whenever he was around. There was something darker about him, something dangerous in the way he lived recklessly, only focused on his own desires, how he thrived on the attention he got, pulling you deeper without even trying.
And now, standing there, you couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever came next, there was no turning back. No escape.
The Room of Requirement was cloaked in dark shadows, the silence broken only by the faint hiss of flickering candles. Their soft, wavering light offered a fragile sense of comfort, though it did little to ease the tension hanging in the air. The atmosphere was thick and heavy, saturated with the acrid tang of burning incense and something darker, almost unspoken.
Torchlight flickered across the cold stone walls, making jagged patterns that twisted and stretched with each almost shiny flicker. That night, the requirement room felt weird, unlike the form other students seemed to used—every corner seemed like an unsettling, cavernous form that resembled a muggle abandoned cathedral. It felt sacred in a weird twisted way, as if it were built to bear the weight of sinful actions that were too heavy to confess elsewhere.
The faint metallic scent in the air lingered, sharp and heavy, mixed with something even more heavy, felt almost like a warning. On the stone floor, crude runes spiraled out in precise, jagged lines, their edges glowing faintly as though alive and energetic, pulsing in time with the biting silence as if they were watching, waiting to know what was about to take place.
In the center of it all stood Mattheo Riddle, the one person who seemed to take up every space in your mind, his dark robes draping loosely over his strong frame, giving him an effortless air of power, his features, defined and almost angelic, partially hidden by his messy curls that always fell into his pretty eyes.
The flickering torchlight danced off his hair with every movement, making it seem almost alive; there was something strange about how his appearance seemed almost angelic, yet you knew Mattheo’s true personality, making him all the more dangerous, like a trap just waiting for you to step in.
He could look still, even controlled, but there was nothing controlled about this. Nothing about him was controlled.
Mattheo looked at the dagger in his hands, his gaze drifting over the blade, but it wasn’t the dagger that had his attention. It was you. Your eyes were on him, and it felt like he was being torn apart with just that look. It wasn’t like the attention he was used to—no fear or admiration in it.
No, this was different. It was more like an assessment. The weight of your gaze was almost suffocating, as if you were digging into him, getting under his skin in a way that made him feel stupidly exposed and making him feel a strange sensation tighten in his chest, choking his throat in ways he couldn’t understand, and he hated it.
He hated how you made him feel like this—torn between wanting to get closer and wanting to run away from that. And even if it was good or bad; neither mattered. He didn’t want to know. The only thing he knew for sure was that you almost had him entirely.
And for him, that was awful enough.
He never quite understood why his heart raced when he was in your presence, as if it might break through his ribs, his flesh, and fall directly into your palms, fully out of his power. At times he couldn't help but press his hand against his own chest, trying to stop it, trying to hold it back, but it only frustrated him further.
Nevertheless, there were times when he nearly wished his heart would simply give way and land in your hands so you could do with it whatever you pleased, whether that meant crushing it entirely or holding it tenderly between your fingers. He wasn't certain which would provide him with greater comfort, but he was certain that if you gave him that satisfaction, he will never be the same again.
Mattheo sighed and shook his head rapidly, making a dramatic gesture as he attempted to avoid your concentrated, evaluating stare on him once more. He concentrated on the tiny silver dagger in his hand, trying not to hold it too firmly in his palm, but nothing could take away the sensation, and even if it didn't cause him any discomfort, the pressure that made it was obvious.
He let out another sigh, this time frustrated, rubbing his forehead, but couldn’t help releasing another, this time a relieved one, when he saw your attention shift to the two circles drawn around him, almost like some kind of illustration, and he couldn’t help but smirk knowingly as he noticed the change in your expression; at the confusion in your eyes and at your furrowed brows as you tried to make sense of the strange symbols, carefully etched inside the circles on the floor.
Mattheo looked away, quickly shifting his focus to the symbol at his feet. In comparison with the other symbols, this one was far more complex, with each line and curve being meticulous and precise. As he raised his chin in satisfaction with what he did, Mattheo couldn't help but widen his smirk into a full grin, an equal amount of pride and arrogance coming across his expression.
This ritual, this moment—it was his, only his. Yet, for some reason, he felt a twisted satisfaction knowing he was going to share it with you. Even though you were there not completely voluntarily, you still had a place in it, whether you liked it or not. 
This time, it was Mattheo who looked at you with an intense, almost predatory gaze, his hand tightening once more around the blade in his palm as he kept his eyes on you. He was already preparing to take the first step toward the power he would gain from what you two were about to do. All he needed was your final confirmation and for you to step into the middle of the circle with him.
“Are you ready for this?” His voice broke the silence, low and almost a purr, making you look up at him. Ready? Fuck no. In fact, you were terrified. Every part of you screamed to run, to get as far away from this room and this stupid ritual as possible. But your body didn’t listen to your brain. Your heart didn’t either. Instead, you stayed still, frozen, your eyes locked with his own, already filled with amusement and something darker, like a challenge. 
You knew this was stupid. Hell, it was almost suicidal. A ritual to give him more power, cutting your own hand, spilling your blood, mixing it with his just to make him stronger. It was madness. More than that, even.
But then again, a part of you wanted it. A part of you wanted to leave a piece of yourself with him, to bind yourself to him in some twisted way. And for some fucked-up reason, you craved that. You wanted to be marked by him, to have a part of you inside him forever. Mattheo had already carved his mark into your mind, into the darkest corners of your heart, and now you wanted to do the same.
Stupid curiosity.
“Well?” Mattheo asked again, his voice dripping with amusement, though you could hear the faint edge of annoyance creeping in. He tried to hold onto his usual confident, relaxed demeanor, but it was slipping. “What’s it gonna be?” The same damn question. You wouldn’t be stupid enough to make him ask a third time. 
“I…” You paused, your voice cracking, and you couldn’t help but curse yourself under your breath as you felt his gaze digging into you, waiting for the answer he wanted. “I think I’m ready,” you finally said, taking a step forward, ignoring the part of you screaming to get the hell out of there. Yet your body moved faster than your mind, and before you knew it, you took an unconscious step closer to him, making his eyebrow quirk in amusement. 
Mattheo raised an eyebrow, his smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You think?” he repeated, his voice thick with mockery. He almost laughed; if it were not for the situation you two were in.
“Fuck—” you hissed under your breath, cursing yourself again, and Mattheo’s smirk stretched wider. “I’m ready.” You corrected yourself, the words tasting wrong. “I’m ready,” you said again, this time to convince yourself more than him.
Mattheo let out a low, almost manic laugh as his gaze remained fixed on the blade in his hand. The sound sent an unexpected shiver down your spine, and your cheeks flushed as his voice echoed in your ears. When he looked back at you, his eyes were softer than before, though the usual intensity remained, as if he was offering something that, despite not being comfort, somehow left you feeling relieved in a way.
He stretched his hand towards you, his voice calmer than before but still firm. “Let’s go. The sooner we start, the sooner this thing is going to end.” The sooner he would have control. Mattheo called you again, and you let out a soft sigh before taking that first step.
Each step you took was filled with hesitation, but your body didn’t seem to care. It moved toward the circle, fighting the doubt gnawing on your mind. When you finally stepped inside, you couldn’t hold back a small sigh as your hand found Mattheo’s. The touch sent a shiver down your spine, your cheeks flushing as you saw the same smirk on his lips, the reaction causing a tug on your heart. He didn’t need to say anything; you could feel how much he enjoyed this, how much he knew the effect he had on you.
Sometimes you wanted to punch him. 
As soon as you took his hand, Mattheo’s confidence wavered slightly; his heart pounded just by your touch. However, he couldn’t hide the dark amusement in his eyes as he watched your flushed cheeks and how your body betrayed you. It was too easy.
“This,” he said, gesturing to the intricate runes carved into the floor with the tip of his dagger, his grip tightening around your hand, not to soothe you, but to remind himself you were still there. “It’s going to hurt like hell.” He said it with such ease, as if the pain and the blood were just a minor part. You swallowed hard, the confirmation of what you already knew settling deep in your stomach. “At least for you,” he added with an eyebrow raised, his voice laced with amusement.
His words weren’t reassuring at all—not that you expected them to be. He didn’t care about calming you or making this easier to bear. That wasn’t his style, and it never had been. Mattheo thrived in chaos, in mess, and he wanted you to feel every bit of it. He wanted to pull you into the madness, to push you until you struggled to keep yourself together.
“You’re not exactly helping me calm down, you know?” you said through gritted teeth, barely stopping yourself from telling him to go fuck himself. 
Mattheo chuckled dryly, releasing your hand to stop you from gripping it, from finding any comfort in his presence. “Glad to know, sweetheart.” He said casually, like it didn’t matter at all. “But who said I want you to calm down?” he murmured, and you might have thought he was joking if it weren’t for the fact that you had known him for years.
You scoffed at his lack of sympathy. It wasn’t surprising, though; his attitude was one of the things that drew you to him, even if it wasn’t exactly healthy. You watched as he lit more candles, the flame dancing with every step he took, highlighting the sharp lines of his features. He was an insensitive prick, but dear god, he was a beautiful one. 
After a few seconds, Mattheo stood up, still holding the dagger in his hand. He glanced at you, and for a brief moment, something in his gaze made his heartbeat almost thud down his ribs. He took a few steps toward you, and your eyes met. His dark eyes were intense, unreadable, and the weight of the air between you made your stomach twist. Finally, he spoke, his voice low and steady, with a hint of mischief in his tone. The corner of his mouth twitched, the excitement creeping slowly.
“Take off your shirt.”
You blinked, shocked, and for a few seconds, all your fear vanished. “Excuse me?!”
Mattheo observed you, almost as if he were stripping you bare. “Your shirt,” he repeated, his tone annoyingly dismissive. He spun the dagger in his palm with flawless precision, taking a step closer as if your hesitancy pleased him. “Take it off,” he said almost coolly, as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.
You crossed your arms, feeling your heart race as your face flushed with heat. “And why, exactly, do I need to do that?” You snapped, your voice sharp. You had fantasized a thousand times about Mattheo asking you to do this, but you never imagined it would actually happen, especially not now, in this situation. 
“For the ritual,” he said simply, tilting his head and giving you a smirk that bordered on taunting, as though the answer should’ve been obvious. “I need access to your skin, sweetheart. The magic won’t work otherwise.” His words were smooth, but you couldn’t shake the feeling they held a hint of mockery.
You hesitated, studying him closely. There was something about his response that didn’t sit right, too casual in a way that felt almost taunting, like he wasn’t being completely honest. “You’re making that up,” you said flatly, letting your arms drop to your sides, your eyes narrowing as you searched on his face for a sign of truth. 
His smirk widened, and he continued to twirl the dagger between his fingers, his eyes locked on you. The sight of your flushed cheeks only seemed to make him think with his other head. “Am I?” He took another step closer. 
“Please, Mattheo, I know that’s bullshit!” you spat out, trying to ignore how his smug expression made your skin heat, though particularly of you couldn’t help but consider it.
Mattheo let out a low chuckle, stepping closer, the tension between you nearly unbearable. His voice dipped, rough and almost deliberate, as his dark eyes shamelessly trailed down your body before locking onto yours again.
“Alright,” he murmured, a smile laying wickedly on his lips. “Maybe it’s not entirely necessary. But it helps. A lot.”
The dagger moved lazily in his hand, the sharp edge skimming his palm without cutting his palm. His gaze never left you, steady and intense, like a predator watching its prey. “And we both know you want this to work out, don’t we, sweetheart?” 
Your breath hitched in your throat at his words, a truth you hated to admit even to yourself. You wanted him to notice you—really notice you—the way his gaze seemed to strip you bare, peeling back layers you didn’t even realize you had. But the sharp flare of anger clawed its way up your chest, tangling with the strange pull he always seemed to have over you, leaving you somewhere between furious and helpless.
“Unbelievable,” you muttered, shaking your head, the disappointment cutting deeper than you wanted to admit. You weren’t sure if it was aimed at him or at yourself for falling into this moment—this trap. Probably both. 
“And yet,” he said, taking another step toward you, “here you are.” He mocked you, making you bite your tongue to stop yourself from telling him to fuck off. 
The space between you two was basically nonexistent now, and Mattheo fucking hated it. Hated that it was him moving closer, like he couldn’t help himself. Hated how his body had a mind of its own, reacting to you in ways that made him feel like an idiot. The thought of you, without your shirt, without anything, was driving him insane, his imagination running wild no matter how much he tried to shove it down.
Fuck. He could already feel the strain in his pants, his cock pressing uncomfortably against the fabric. It pissed him off—how easily you got under his skin, how fucking hard it was to keep his cool around you. 
“Fine,” you bit out, your voice rougher than you felt, and Mattheo’s smile twisted with satisfaction, practically waiting for you to do it. You exhaled sharply, trying to ignore the way his eyes were glued to you. Your fingers lingered at the hem of your shirt, heart pounding in your chest as you struggled to find the guts to go through with it. 
Mattheo’s smirk only deepened, his eyes never leaving you, and for a moment, it felt like he was inside your head, reading you like a damn book. His gaze dropped low, just enough to make your skin prickle with awareness. You seemed so fucking soft. “Need help?” he asked, voice dripping with mockery. 
“Shut up, Mattheo” you snapped, yanking the fabric over your head in one swift motion, a shiver running through your whole body. Shit, you’re not wearing a bra.
The second the shirt left your body, the air felt heavier, but you felt the coldness against your exposed skin and nipples. Mattheo’s expression shifted, his smirk slipping for a moment as his eyes scanned over you, taking in more than you were prepared to show. You cursed yourself for not wearing a bra under the thin fabric, your chest bare under the dim torchlight and his searing gaze. Mattheo swore the zipper on his pants was going to break any second.
You couldn't help but feel trapped by his piercing stare as his eyes remained on you, shamelessly tracing your hard nipples. He seemed oblivious; nonetheless, his eyes burned with need as his mind wandered, thinking about the taste of his tongue on your nipples, sucking and biting until all you could think about was the feel of his wet tongue. He held the dagger tightly, only reacting when the blade cut into his flesh.
“Well,” he began, attempting to put the thoughts flowing through his head to the back of his mind, his voice rougher than before, “guess you were more ready than we thought.” He mocked you again, but it seemed like he was also mocking himself.
You could feel your cheeks burning, a mix of anger and something else boiling inside you. You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to block him out, but the moment you saw the way Mattheo’s eyes were fixed on you filled with desire, your hands fell to your sides, betraying your own brain. You wanted this. You wanted him to see you, to really see you.
But as you realized you were staring at him in the same way, you quickly shook your head, trying to push down the desire and need, force some control back into your own voice. “Just get on with it,” you ‘snapped’, trying to hide how much it stung, how much you craved that attention. 
Mattheo’s smirk returned, but this time it was sharper, full with devilment. He took another step toward you, his eyes never leaving yours, and gestured toward the circle with a lazy flick of his hand. “As you wish.”
His expression didn’t shift, his confidence simmering just below the surface as he stepped even closer to you, trying not to look at your bare chest. His eyes flickered to the symbols on the ground, their faint glow reflecting in the depths of his gaze. Without a word he reached up and tugged his shirt over his head, casting it aside without care. He didn’t look at you but still waited for your reaction. You had already drawn one from him—only fair if he returned the favor, right?
You, on the other hand, swallowed hard, your gaze shamelessly tracing the lines of his abdomen and bare, muscular chest. The candles and torchlight cast sharp shadows across the scars etched into his skin, and you held your breath without meaning to. When he glanced forward slightly, his eyes still on the ground as he did so, he had to stifle a chuckle at the sight of your clenched fists, trying to control yourself.
This was going to be fun, at least.
For a brief moment, neither of you spoke or moved. The silence stretched thin, both of you consumed by the same thoughts, the same dirty images racing through your minds. Your chests rose and fell heavily, both of you struggling to regain a normal breath. It was fucking madness. 
Mattheo quickly composed himself, standing at the point of the small symbol on the ground, making sure you mirrored his position on the opposite side. Your bare chests were almost touching, the air thick with tension, your hard nipples brushing just slightly against his skin. He gave a low sigh, words slipping from his lips in a language you couldn’t understand, his voice deep and commanding.
As soon as the words left his mouth, the symbols on the floor pulsed to life, glowing with an eerie light, while the candle flames flickered wildly, as though responding to his words. 
He looked at the dagger in his hand, a proud glint in his eyes before letting his gaze drift up to your face. His eyes lingered on your features, the softness of your eyes, the way your lips parted just enough to drive him insane. He almost couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to touch you, but he stayed still, his jaw tight. “Are you ready?” he asked, his lips moving without sound. “I am,” you mouthed back, the hesitation in your eyes impossible to miss. But he ignored it, choosing to focus on the way you stood there—no turning back now, and honestly? He didn’t want you to cover up. 
Mattheo gripped the dagger with steady hands, his brown eyes flickering briefly to the runes as if making sure everything was aligned. Without a second thought, he pressed the sharp blade to his palm, slicing through the skin with quick, practiced precision. The blood surged from the cut, dripping thick and dark onto the glowing runes below. They reacted violently, flaring brighter, more alive, as if the blood was feeding the symbols, feeding him. 
You held your breath, knowing you were next. But you couldn’t stop yourself from glancing at the ground, watching his blood drip onto the floor beneath both of your feet.
After a few seconds, he lifted his chin, pride in his eyes, his curls moving like the magic around the circles. He grabbed your hand without a word, pressing the dagger into your palm, his gaze never leaving yours. He was waiting, daring you to cut yourself just like he had. 
You felt his blood drip onto your wrist, the warmth of it sending a jolt through your veins. As the dagger pressed into your palm, a breath caught in your throat. The weight of the blade was more than you expected, and for a moment, your eyes lingered on the crimson stains left by Mattheo’s cut, almost hypnotic, tempting you.
Your heart quickened, your pulse echoing in your ears. You hesitated—for a moment. His eyes found you once again, a look that urged you to continue. The hesitation lingering in your heart suddenly dispersed; you wanted nothing but to mark him as yours.
With a deep breath, you pressed the blade to your palm, hissing softly as the edge cut into your skin, making you feel even more bare and open than you already did. The pain was sharp, fleeting, quickly replaced by the blood spilling down your skin, as the runes reacted violently to your action, their glow flaring in response. 
It was instantaneous. The moment your blood touched the floor, the room seemed to exhale, the light flaring brighter and the air humming with a charged, almost electric energy as the ritual began. But the reaction was brief, for Mattheo’s focus shifted.
Mattheo’s gaze was fixed on the cut on your hand, his eyes wide and unblinking, as if he was mesmerized by the crimson blood streaks trailing down your wrist, mingling with his the drops of his blood already on your skin. His jaw clenched, and you swore you saw him swallow hard as he continued to look, his chest rising and falling with a depth of intensity you’d never seen in him before. 
“Mattheo?” You called softly, your voice barely above a whisper, your heartbeat quickening against your bare chest. Yet, it was enough to break his attention.
His eyes naturally met yours once again, vulnerability flickering in his gaze, though the rest of his expression remained unreadable, like a contrast to the hunger simmering beneath. But Mattheo didn't step back. Instead, his calloused fingers brushed against the blood on your wrist, smearing it slightly. The contact sent a jolt through you, and for a moment, neither of you remembered how to breathe.
“Mattheo…” you called out again, but this time it was almost a plea for him not to stop. He obeyed your unspoken request, his fingers tracing your skin as if exploring new territory, so gently that it almost made you forget the lingering sting in your hand. 
Mattheo’s hands moved deliberately, spreading the blood from the deep cut on your hand. He seemed oblivious to the matching wound on his own skin as he dragged the crimson trail up to your neck, smearing it across your skin. Without warning, his lips pressed against the spot, his tongue tracing the blood. He let out a low groan at the taste, and you couldn’t suppress your own when you felt the warmth of his tongue against you. 
“It’s so sweet,” he murmured, his teeth grazing the skin of your neck, the crimson of your blood staining them as he pulled you closer, pressing you against him in a way that felt almost inhuman. “So fucking sweet.” His teeth continued to drag along your skin, while his hand slid down your arm, seeking more of your blood. His fingers tightened around your palm, squeezing to draw out more of the liquid, making you groan in a mix of pain and pleasure as the burn surged through you. 
“Shhh, it’s okay, sweetheart,” Mattheo whispered, biting your neck, his teeth sinking into your skin painfully. He didn’t care about the grunt of pain that escaped your lips, not when more blood joined the one already staining your throat. Right after his first bite, you moaned, your thighs rubbing together in an attempt to ease the wetness in your cunt. 
Mattheo chuckled in satisfaction, bringing his bloodied hand to your stomach, the crimson spreading across your exposed skin like a mark. “You like it, don’t you?” he murmured against your throat, pressing his lips to the marks he had left with his teeth. But when he noticed you hadn’t answered, he bit your neck harder than before and squeezed your stomach, causing more blood to spread across the area. 
You swallowed hard, locking eyes with him as you tried to form a sentence, but the only words that escaped your lips were a barely audible, “Yes, fucking yes,” which only made him laugh harder. He tightened his grip on your skin, sending a sharp sting through your own body. 
“Of course you do… such a fucking slut,” Mattheo chuckled again against your throat, his teeth sinking into the spot once more, making you moan. He mimicked the sound, feeling his pants tighten around his cock as he tasted your blood again on his teeth. His tongue throbbed with desire, savoring the metallic taste. Holy shit, he could cum just from the taste of your blood. “But you taste so damn good.” 
He seemed to have completely forgotten the ritual, and you, too, had let it slip away. You didn’t want to remember, not when his blood stained your skin, not when your own blood marked him, and not when his mark lingered on you. 
Mattheo pulled back slightly, looking at your state and the way your plush lips were parted as you stared at him, your eyes filled with the same desire he showed. 
Without warning, Mattheo grabbed your cut hand with the one resting on your stomach, his blood mingling with yours as he guided your hand to your neck, then down to your breasts, trailing the blood like a map. Before you could react to the sting of your hard nipple pressing against the cut, Mattheo moved faster, pulling your nipple—now smeared with your own blood—into his mouth. 
You let out a loud moan as you felt his tongue teasing the tips of your bloodied breasts, the taste of your blood on his tongue making him swirl around your breast more eagerly. The sensation only made him harder beneath his robes, each moan of his growing louder as he savored the taste of you. 
You were lost in the pleasure of his mouth, concentrated with the way his tongue lapped like a hungry animal. The way his hands pushed your now bloody breasts together enough for his head to dive between them as he continued to whisper praises, words of hunger. You didn’t hear nothing but the sounds of his mouth nor saw how he desperately reached for release, your body causing him to react out of character.
“Fuck...” he murmured, his hand releasing the softness of your skin as he reached down towards his pants. Fast, uncoordinated, he released his cock from the restraints, his bloody hands wrapping around his cock that dripped with precum. His movements grew faster, driven by the growing intensity of the taste of blood on his tongue.
You looked down, catching a glimpse through the small crease of his neck as he dragged his palm over his hard cock while sucking on your nipples. You couldn’t help but moan louder, your bloody hand gripping his shoulders as you tried to ignore how your body was responding—the wetness between your legs that you knew he could feel. 
“Your tits…”Mattheo moaned even louder, dragging a moan from your lips in response. Fuck, he was so close.
“Fuck, your blood tastes so fucking good.” He moaned louder, and as he sucked harder on your nipples, his mouth closing around the bud tighter. Your chest was now covered in his bites, the marks of Mattheo Riddle, almost like a sign of ownership. Your body quivered against his hold, rubbing pathetically against him as you felt the tingle flutter in your stomach. You were close, lost in the daze, you had no idea whether it was from pleasure or the lost of blood—or both. You were desperately clinging to his shoulders, his name falling from your lips like a spell.
The hold on his length tightened in his hand, and he came instantly. Another hoarse moan escaped his throat, and he pulled away from your chest for a moment, gasping for air. You gripped onto his shoulders once more, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. So sudden, so quick you fell against his hold as your body convulsed with pleasure.
Mattheo leaned against you, allowing himself a moment to relax. But when he noticed the blood still running down your throat from where he had placed your hand, he couldn’t help but let out a growl. He yanked your hair back harshly, making you gasp and exposing your throat, your scream barely escaping as he did so. 
“Mattheo…!” You tried to speak, but he didn’t care; he never did. He only pushed you further against him, your nipples pressed against his bare chest as he licked your throat, letting out another groan as he tasted the metallic flavor again. His tongue traced the line of your throat, dragging the blood up to your chin, before he licked it off obscenely, making you sigh at the sensation. 
Mattheo’s hand in your hair tightened, and in one swift motion, he turned you onto your back, pulling your hair even harder as your back arched against him. “Open your mouth,” he commanded, an order you immediately understood. You obeyed without hesitation, and before you could react, he spat into your mouth and thrust his tongue inside, kissing you deeply.
The kiss was rough and erotic, the fire burning from the inside making it impossible to avoid it. You could taste your own blood on his tongue, and it only made your cunt wetter, the intensity overwhelming. It was too much—more than you’d ever imagined.
You had pictured moments like this, where you and Mattheo would kiss, tasting each other’s tongues, but this was different. It wasn’t the fantasy you had dreamed of; it was raw, wild, and rougher than anything you could have ever anticipated. His teeth clashed with yours, and your tongue tangled with his, as he unleashed his most primal side. He was giving you a taste of the part of you he had consumed, and you were trapped, just as you always would be.
You didn’t care about the pain in your scalp, only the hand that held you.
Mattheo’s hands were rough, touching everything he could. His mouth marking you over and over as he swallowed every small noise you released. He was warm, too warm, a sting feeling in your mouth as he sucked and bit into your lips, the softness of your skin tethering as his mouth was once again filled with the sweetness of your blood.
He was about to lose his mind.
Mattheo sighed against your now split lip, “Stop me… Tell me to stop, and I will.” He wouldn’t; you both knew it.
You held him against you tighter; you were already too deep into him—all you wanted was to devour him, mark him enough to show everyone he belonged to you, only you. You wanted to inflict a pain he would never forget, a pain similar to the pain he caused you, so you did. Your hands wrapped around his neck, your mouth tracing his lips, then his cheeks, then suddenly the warmth of his neck. Mattheo gripped you hard; he made no sudden movement, anxiously awaiting your motive. You bit into his neck, sucking the flushed skin as your teeth marked him with the same strength he did to you. 
Another soft flow came into your mouth, you gasped, the metallic taste odd in your mouth but enough to send your heart thundering.
Mattheo whimpered, his dominant facade slipping as he sickly enjoyed the way you took control. You were so sweet, so delicate—you were completely the opposite. The idea he corrupted you twisted a sick, powerful thought in his brain. You were his. 
Your tongue reached towards his mouth again, finding yourself eye to eye with the man you wanted nothing more than to control. “Don’t ever stop; I need you.”
Mattheo grinned, his lips bloody, his brown eyes becoming dark as he suddenly pushed you towards the runes that glowed against your body. The symbols glowed, vibrating with the blood that dripped onto it. As he stood over you, he wished to capture the moment forever. You looked so fucking pretty.
He leaned over, his knees staining with the blood smeared against the cold tiles. His fingers moved quickly, desperately. He watched as your body spoke to him, reacting to every touch. Your breasts covered in his marks, his blood and yours on them that caused his cock to twitch violently.
He wanted more than the taste of your breasts; he wanted to taste the juices that gathered in the silk of your panties. He wanted to feel the way your cunt twitched and throbbed against his mouth, and damn, did he want nothing more than to have you fuck yourself on his tongue. The sweetest angel from Hogwarts all displayed for him, to hell with the ritual; now he just wanted to swallow you whole. 
Without warning, he hoisted your legs onto his shoulders with an almost violent urgency, a deep moan escaping his lips as he leaned closer to your wet pussy. The intoxicating scent filled his senses, making his bloodied hand tighten around your thigh, gripping it as if commanding you to choke him; a command you had no intention of disobeying.
Mattheo looked at your face, the dried blood around your parted lips, your cheeks flushed from everything he was doing to you, and your dilated pupils watching him anxiously. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured, and you instantly bit your lip. Fuck, he was about to get hard again. 
“Please, I need you, Mattheo,” you begged, rubbing your hips desperately, trying to get closer to his flushed face. You needed his mouth, and he was more than willing to be a good friend and give you exactly what you wanted. 
“No need to beg like a slut, sweetheart,” he said, moving closer to your pulsing cunt, the light from the dunes making your wetness glisten even more. You held your breath as his warm breath ghosted over your slick folds. “I’m eager to give you what you want,” he murmured, leaning even closer, his nose brushing against your arousal as he took in your scent. Just as you were about to beg him to do something, his tongue was quicker—teasing, tasting, and finally giving in to the need to lick you.
Mattheo followed his instincts and hunger, his palms gripping your thighs even tighter, leaving bloodstained marks on your skin just as he had on the rest of your body. The sting of his own cut burned with the pressure, but he didn’t stop, sliding his hands to your hips as his tongue moved swiftly against your folds, savoring and memorizing every inch of you.
You could feel Mattheo’s cheeks pressed against your thighs as he buried himself in your pussy, suffocating himself in your scent and taste. He mentally begged some higher power to let him one day die like this—only after his hunger was completely satisfied. Your back arched, heat swirling in your stomach as Mattheo licked your pussy with reckless desperation.
He was ravenous, savoring every part of you, and when your nails dug into his scalp, he let out another growl, pushing himself even deeper between your legs, making you moan even louder.
“Fucking yes, sweetheart,” he murmured against your pussy, sucking harder as your cries of pleasure filled the room. “Keep moaning like a slut, keep saying my name.” He bit down on your flesh, making you moan even louder, your legs trembling around him. He chuckled darkly, the vibrations of his laughter sending shocks through your body and making you cry out even more.
Fuck the ritual, fuck the power—the only power he craved was the power he held over you.
“Mattheo,” you moaned even louder, rocking your hips against his face as your fingers tangled in his hair, pushing him closer. “Right there, oh my—!” you cried out, feeling him lose himself between your legs, consumed by his thoughts and the blood still staining his lips.
Mattheo’s fast, steady movements continued, his almost feral tongue lapping at your cunt as his hands roamed your body. He could feel his cock harden at the sound of your sweet moans. Fuck, the taste of your blood mingled with your arousal was divine—almost too much for him to bear. 
He continued kissing your clit, desperate to savor your full taste, his tongue messily exploring your folds, drinking in every drop he could. All you felt in the moment was him. The sounds muffled as if underwater. Your fingers dug into his scalp, causing him to flick his tongue against your bud faster, his fingers circling it, his grin plastered with pride as he heard you cry loudly.
“Such a pretty one you are,” he muttered, his words slurring into the juices of your cunt.
You only released a jumble of words, your bare back arching as you squirmed beneath him. You were on the edge, and you could feel it—both of you could. The anticipation was electric, and you were both eager for the release. All he wanted was to make you cum.
“Come on, sweetheart,” he murmured against your folds, the scent of your cunt making him dizzy. “Come for me.” No sooner had the words left his mouth than you let out a final scream, the orgasm hitting you hard as your body arched, feeling your cum dripping from your pussy.
Mattheo groaned against your cunt once more, lapping at your release as he lost himself in your flavor. Quickly, he grabbed your cut hand, spreading its blood over your pussy to mix with the cum. When he felt it was enough, he ran his tongue over your folds, savoring the metallic taste of blood combined with the sweet remnants of your orgasm, only stopping when not a drop remained, and you pushed him away.
The runes still flickered on the ground, glowing brighter with the smell of your release in the air. Blood stained both your bodies, marking each other, marking the new connection between you that neither of you wanted to escape. Mattheo stood there, watching you, his brown eyes observing, shining with pride watching your state. His eyes traced the blood on your skin, lingering on the cut on your hand, before meeting your eyes again. 
“We didn’t finish the ritual,” you managed to say, your voice soft, timid once again compared to the wildness you held as you let Mattheo control you, your body still shaking from one of the best orgasms you ever experienced.
Mattheo’s smirk grew, just a little as he continued to look at the mess he had done. “It’s fine, sweetheart. We can always try again.”
He was right; after all, friends helped each other.
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© 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚝₂₀₂₄ — 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎.
— please be nice, it’s 4 am it probably has some mistakes!
likes and reblogs are appreciated 🫶🏻
also a big thank you for my favorite beta readers @earth4angels & @astrxq , without them i couldn’t write all this!! i love you both off you forever
venting: sometimes, i hate english because my hard lines in portuguese don’t make sense and seem so repetitive :(
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overrboarrd · 1 day ago
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CRACKS IN THE PAINT [ from scratch series pt. i ]
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a/n: been sitting in this for a day or so, decided to go ahead and post it instead of sulking. this is a really short series that’s based off of my IDR one shot from a while ago. feel free to read that if you’d like, but I’m probably gonna rework it and incorporate it into one of the parts of this series. anywho, i missed y'all, and i hope you enjoy reading <3.
“I know that we got some problems, I’m done trying fix them all
I’m sorry that it hurts sometimes and I’m sorry that we hit this wall”
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The roar of the crowd reverberated through the packed arena, a wall of sound that should have fueled Joe’s adrenaline, but instead, it was background noise to the sharp, nagging ache in his shoulder. He pulled himself to his feet, his chest heaving as he glared across the ring at his opponent.
Carmelo Hayes was good. Younger, quicker, hungry for a win against someone like Joe—or Roman—an established name, a veteran. The kind of win that could launch his career.
The match had been a battle of strength versus agility, with Joe trying to ground the younger man while Melo darted around the ring, countering holds and springing off the ropes with relentless energy.
The injury had happened in the first ten minutes. A suplex—a move Joe could execute in his sleep—went wrong. Carmelo had been slippery, and Joe’s grip slipped just slightly, throwing off the balance. When they both hit the mat, Joe’s left shoulder took the brunt of the impact.
Pain flared instantly, hot and sharp, but he grit his teeth and powered through. Quitting wasn’t an option, not with a title defense in a few weeks. Joe wasn’t just fighting his opponent—he was fighting his own body, his reputation, the creeping whispers that maybe he wasn’t as invincible as he used to be.
As the minutes dragged on, the pain gnawed at him. Every time he rolled his shoulder to prepare for a move, it bit back, slowing him down. Melo noticed, capitalizing on the weakness with a series of armbars and submission attempts that had the crowd on the edge of their seats.
But Joe was a strategist, and his experience came through in the end. He caught the younger wrestler mid-flight as he attempted a diving crossbody, slamming him down with a thunderous spinebuster that shook the ring. The three-count followed seconds later.
The referee raised Joe’s hand in victory, and the crowd erupted, their chants echoing in the rafters. Joe barely registered the noise. His shoulder throbbed with every pulse of his heartbeat, and the rush of adrenaline that had carried him through the match was already beginning to fade.
He rolled his shoulder experimentally as he stepped out of the ring, wincing as the pain flared again. He hated injuries—not just for the inconvenience, but for the reminder that his body wasn’t infallible.
Back in the locker room, Joe sat heavily on a bench, the weight of exhaustion settling over him, the ache in his shoulder a dull roar now that the crowd noise was gone.
He stretched tentatively, testing his range of motion, and hissed through clenched teeth.
“Damn,” he muttered, the word sharp in the empty room.
His phone buzzed on the bench beside him, and he picked it up, squinting at the message on the screen. It was from his trainer, Ron.
“Saw that suplex tonight, dawg. I already know something’s wrong with your shoulder. I’m out for the next two weeks, but I got someone who can cover. Personal referral—I see her myself. Her name’s Camille. She’ll be at Architect tomorrow at 10.”
Joe’s brow furrowed as he reread the message. The name hit him like a slap. His grip tightened around the phone, his knuckles turning white.
Camille.
It couldn’t be her.
It was a common name—there had to be hundreds of trainers named Camille. But the uneasy knot forming in his stomach said otherwise. He didn’t even need to see her last name to know.
The memories hit him like a freight train: the sound of her laughter, the way her eyes lit up when she talked about something she loved, the weight of the engagement ring he’d once slipped onto her finger.
And then, the hollowness of silence. The unanswered calls. The empty space in his bed, in his life.
Joe tossed the phone onto the bench, running a hand down his face. He shouldn’t care. It had been years—enough time to move on. To forget. And mostly, he had. His life was full of noise, routines, and victories in and out of the ring.
But Camille had been the one person who had broken through his walls, made him feel something more than stoic responsibility and relentless ambition. She’d made him want things he never thought he’d want.
Then she left.
Shaking his head, he stood and grabbed his bag, ignoring the throbbing in his shoulder.
There was no way it was her. But even if it was, he wasn’t the same man she’d ghosted all those years ago.
And he wasn’t about to let her back in.
┄┄┄┄┄
The air in the fitness clinic was filled with the rhythmic hum of treadmills and the faint melodies of therapeutic music. Joe stepped through the glass doors, his presence immediately commanding attention. At 6’3, his broad shoulders and carved frame made him impossible to miss, even in a crowd of recovering professional athletes.
The front desk attendant glanced up with wide eyes. "Mr. Anoa’i, welcome. You’re scheduled for a session in studio two."
He nodded curtly, muttering a quick thanks before heading down the polished floor toward the private training studio. His left shoulder throbbed with every step, a constant reminder of why he was here.
Inside studio two, the setup was professional but intimate. A padded floor, resistance bands, free weights, and a mirrored wall gave the space a focused energy. Joe barely had a moment to take it in before the door swung open.
Dark curls framed her face, falling right above her shoulders, and even from a short distance, Joe recognized the confident stance. His stomach knotted as his steps faltered.
It’s her.
Camille looked up, her deep brown eyes locking onto his. For a second, her confident demeanor flickered. She blinked, caught off guard, before quickly composing herself.
“Joe.” Her voice was steady, but the way her grip tightened on the clipboard betrayed her nerves.
Joe froze, his hand tightening around the strap of his bag. The air between them seemed to shift, charged with the weight of unspoken words and unresolved history.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” he responded flatly, his tone edged with disbelief. His eyes narrowed, studying her like she was a ghost. 
Camille shifted her weight, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Ron didn’t mention I’d be covering for him?”
“Ron mentioned a Camille,” Joe said, dropping his bag to the floor with more force than necessary. “But I didn’t think he meant you.”
She straightened her shoulders, meeting his gaze head-on. “Well, here I am.”
The silence between them grew heavier with each passing second. Joe’s jaw clenched, his expression a carefully constructed wall, but beneath it, a tide of frustration and hurt threatened to break through, emotions he’d worked hard to bury and now struggled to contain.
Camille broke first, her voice softening as she tried to explain. “Look, I didn’t know it was you until I saw your file this morning. If I had—”
“What?” Joe cut her off, his voice a low growl that carried the weight of barely restrained anger. “You wouldn’t have taken the job?”
She faltered, the words dying on her lips. “I—”
“Save it,” he snapped, turning sharply away and gripping the edge of the treatment table so hard his knuckles turned white. His shoulders tensed, the strain evident even in his injured arm.
Camille’s jaw tightened, her voice firm despite the crackling tension. “I’m here to do my job, Joe. Whether you like it or not, your shoulder needs attention, and I’m the one qualified to help you right now.”
Joe’s laugh was cold and humorless as he turned his head just enough to glance at her. “Yeah? Shame you weren’t this dedicated when it came to anything else.”
The jab was as sharp as a blade, and Camille’s breath hitched, but her resolve didn’t waver. “I’m not here to rehash the past. You need a trainer, and I need to do my job. That’s it.”
Their gazes locked, the air between them heavy with tension. Joe’s eyes bore into hers, sharp and unforgiving, as if daring her to break under the weight of his words. The silence stretched, loaded with the things neither dared to say.
Joe’s jaw worked as he stared past her, a muscle ticking in his temple. He wanted to argue, to throw another barb, but the sharp throb in his shoulder had grown impossible to ignore. Pride battled practicality in his mind, and practicality begrudgingly won.
Finally, he exhaled sharply. “Fine,” he muttered, his voice tight. “Let’s get this over with.” 
Shrugging off his jacket with a grimace, he sat on the padded bench. Camille approached slowly, her movements precise, but there was a slight hesitation in her step, like she was bracing herself for another verbal jab. When she stopped in front of him, her smaller frame seemed even more diminutive against his broad shoulders, but her presence was anything but timid.
She reached for his injured arm, her hands brushing his skin as she lifted it carefully. Warm. Steady. Joe tensed on instinct, his muscles coiled tight.
“How bad is the pain?” she asked, her tone even, professional.
“Manageable,” he replied curtly.
Camille’s lips pressed into a thin line, and she rolled her eyes faintly, though her touch remained gentle. “Let me know if this hurts,” she murmured, as though the earlier tension hadn’t existed.
Her fingers moved with practiced care, probing the joint. Joe felt the warmth of her hands against his skin, soft but firm, and something about it threw him off balance in a way the injury never could. He clenched his jaw, refusing to flinch as she tested his range of motion.
“This is as far as it goes,” he said gruffly, halting her midway.
Camille paused, glancing up. Her brow furrowed, but she didn’t push. Instead, she gently rotated his shoulder, her touch light but unrelenting.
“It’s definitely inflamed,” she murmured, more to herself than to him. “You’re lucky it’s not dislocated. When did this happen?”
“Last night. Bad landing on a suplex,” he muttered.
Her hands stilled for a moment, and she sighed. “You should’ve iced it immediately. Adrenaline or not, you know better than to let it go untreated.”
Joe’s eyes flicked to hers, narrowing slightly. “I’ve managed worse.”
Camille didn’t rise to the bait this time. Instead, she set her jaw and resumed her examination, her fingers moving with measured care along the taut lines of his shoulder. “You don’t have to prove anything by pushing through injuries,” she said softly, her voice a touch gentler now.
The words hit deeper than Joe wanted to admit, scraping against something raw, something he’d locked away the day she walked out of his life.  His eyes darkened, and his mouth opened as if to retort, but he stopped himself. Instead, he shook his head, his tone clipped. “Just do what you need to do.”
She studied him for a moment longer, her gaze unreadable, before giving a small nod. As she guided him through a few light stretches, her focus didn’t waver. Her hands were precise, her instructions clear.
And despite himself, Joe couldn’t help but notice the way her touch lingered just long enough to reassure but not overstep, the way her voice softened slightly when she asked if the stretch was too much.
The frustration simmered just beneath the surface, but it wasn’t directed solely at her. It was at the entire situation—at how her presence felt both an irritation and a strange kind of balm.
He hated that he noticed.
When the session ended, Camille stepped back, folding her arms as she regarded him. “You’ll need a few weeks of rehab if you want to avoid a tear. No wrestling until you’re clear-.”
He snorted, the sound bitter. “Not an option.”
Camille frowned. “Then you’re risking permanent damage.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he countered dryly, shrugging his jacket back on with a wince he tried to hide. 
She hesitated, then crossed the room to block his path, her voice softening. “Joe, I mean it. I know you think you’re invincible, but you’re not. You have to take care of yourself.”
He stared down at her, the weight of her gaze pressing into him like a challenge he wasn’t ready to face. Every shift of her eyes, every trace of concern in her voice, cut deeper than the pain in his shoulder. It was a reminder of everything they’d lost—and everything he’d buried.
The air between them crackled, thick with the unspoken. He could feel the tension radiating off him like heat, but still, he stepped around her, his movements sharp.
“Same time tomorrow?” His voice was strained, betraying none of the turmoil swirling beneath the surface.
“Yeah. Tomorrow,” she replied, her voice steady, though it held a thread of something else—something he wasn’t sure he wanted to untangle.
Joe didn’t wait for her to say more. Turning quickly, he headed for the door, his hand gripping the handle as if it could steady him.
The cool air hit him as he stepped outside, but it did little to calm the fire in his chest. His car loomed in the parking lot, a refuge of silence. He slid into the driver’s seat, the familiar scent of leather and stale air offering no comfort this time.
Seeing her again was like reopening an old wound, the pain sharp and immediate. But it wasn’t just the hurt that clawed at him. Beneath the anger and betrayal, there was something else—something he hated himself for still feeling.
She’d ghosted him, left him standing in the wreckage of what could’ve been. He’d told himself he was done, that he didn’t care anymore. And yet, the sound of her voice, the stubborn set of her jaw, the way she said his name—all of it brought the past rushing back.
As he slid into the driver’s seat, his hands gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white. He’d survived heartbreak before. He’d survived injuries, grueling matches, and setbacks. But this? This felt like a different kind of test.
“Tomorrow,” he muttered to no one, the word tasting bitter in his mouth as he started the engine. His jaw clenched as he pulled out of the parking lot, the flicker of something he refused to name burning low in his chest.
Something that scared him more than any injury ever could.
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i-hate-peas · 3 months ago
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The Old Guard Fic Recs
So I've been a long time lurker within the fandom without ever getting particularly involved, but I wanted to show some appreciation for some of the super talented people who go here, because I have read a lot of incredible TOG fic.
Most (probably all) of these authors have loads of other amazing fics, but I've tried to just chose one from each, to keep the list a vaguely reasonable length. Although then I cheated and did some honourable mentions.
** just a note to say I started this list year (s) ago and forgot about it until literally today when I saw fic recs going round. Any of these fics I haven’t put a description for it’s because I didn’t do it at the time, and if I go back to reread them all this would never be posted, not through any lack of affection or enjoyment **
If any writers want tagging/ untagging etc please let me know! (i knew/ could find some blogs more easily than others lol)
Within Canon
Old Olives by aeli_kindara
Garden of Gethsemane mention = instant tears
Death in Her Hands by superblackmarket
Nile's growing relationship with Joe and Nicky. All of their fics are so beautifully written, but I especially love Nile's relationship with the boys and her facing her own immortality.
Honourable mention: Station to Station
Between the Hour and the Age by hauntedjaeger (@hauntedfalcon)
Andy! Nile!
Ouroboros by CypressSunn (@cypresssunns)
Set after the film, literally just read it.
compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience by Jack_R
A pair of early days Joe Nicky fics that reminds me of 'my wife is a bitch and i love her so much'
let's give them something to talk about by lacecat
When The Cherries White With Blossoms, Be Ready & Be Brave by chapstickaddict
Unearthed by merle_p
I think this is one of the most kudosed fics in the AO3 tag, but it deserves the hype!
Kidnapping for Dummies by Amiril
Similar to above, already very popular, but great and very funny!
The Last Man on Earth by Survivah (@optimismology)
I will admit I don't normally go for Booker/Nile, but this fic sold it to me. Looking at them and their developing relationship as the newer immortals.
Canon Divergent
Retrograde by Pinkninja
I mean this fic is the Big Bitch of the fandom for me, if you haven't already read this, where have you been? But also if you haven't already read this I am so jealous, read it and take your time with it and bawl your eyes out over it and appreciate the joy of reading it for the first time. The level of detail and planning in this fic is indescribable. It follows Nicky trapped in a Time Travellers Wife style life where he jumps back and forth throughout his own timeline, whilst Joe lives his life in chronological order. Exquisitely written.
If Never Again, If Every Day by gallifreyburning and takiki16 (@gallifreyburning, @takiki16)
Another absolute Titan of the genre. I know you’ve already been recommended this 500 times, what more can I say.
though I'm dying to (fall in love with you) by yusufsmoon (@babygirlyusuf)
Travellers from an Antique Land by kaydeefalls (@kaydeefalls)
Andy, not Quỳnh, trapped under the sea. I love all their fics.
AUs
Makes Me Want You More by Sixthlight (@sixth-light)
Perhaps not the typical favourite choice from Sixthlight, one of my absolute favourite TOG authors, but one that is funny and lovely and sweet that I keep coming back to. Shorter than many of theirs but perfectly formed.
pumpkin gnocci verse (series) by Liadan14 (@bewires)
I mean it's got estranged family, suspenseful chronological structure, cooking, spies, intimate and honest sex scenes, hilarious misunderstandings involving keeping halal, lovely found family moments, and the actual recipes used. What more do you want.
The Reality of Everything by Marbletopempire
One of the fics I desperately waited for each instalment for. Very funny, lots of sexual tension, plenty of Cate Blanchette spotting opportunities.
sine qua non by mellyflori (@werebearbearbar)
One of the first of their fics I read, with a very sweet build up of misunderstanding to friends to lovers, involving growing up, discovering sexuality, trying to be nice about your best friend's bad boyfriend, and a long suffering sofa.
The Brooklyn Verse (series) by GayLittleEarring, yusufsmoon, nicelytousled (@marwankenzarisgaylittleearring @babygirlyusuf @nicelytousled)
I saw the creation of this on Tumblr before it was a fic, and it lived up to every expectation. Very sweet and sincere, with lots of great discussions about art, whilst also very funny (Lamp the free loader, Joe sending thirst traps out of irritation) and hot. ItalianAmericanNickyfromBrooklyn and Joe my beloveds.
a good (eighth) impression by deaniker
I love a good hook-up to 'oh shit I have feelings' fic, and this is even more entertaining because Nicky is Lykon's ex, and Joe has very much seen him at his worst.
You do not have to be good by emjee (MerryHeart) (@emjee)
At one point a tumblr post about Joe the Professor and Nicky the Priest got very popular, and I'm not sure if this fic was inspired by that, but is one of the great fics with similar concepts. Such a lovely, gentle fic about love and also identity, featuring also Nile and a very sweet snail.
it's such an almighty sound (series) by raedear (@raedear)
A secret service AU that goes full enemies to lovers, with lots of tension, plotting, betrayal, frustration, and tenderness.
Honourable mention: take my hand (you got me rockin' and rollin')
fight 'til the day that i die 'verse by incurableromancer
Suspenseful, noir, super hero AU that has such a great writing style and is very atmospheric.
if you do take a thief by knoepfchen (@knoepfchen)
Cluedo style AU with lots of fun twists and slow building of backstories, with the whole gang.
Honourable mention: life is not the things that we do (it's who we're doing them with)
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meownotgood · 2 months ago
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i think we as a society don't acknowledge boxer!aki from ch. 46 enough
when he gets animated..... huuu...... uuuuu... godddddd I can't muster a single coherent thought like JUST LOOK AT HIM......
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and the way aki fought this guy who looks way more buff than him but aki didn't even break a sweat!!! aki doesn't even look tired!!!!!! he's so lean and tall and pretty in that one panel like what if I just died fyfucikkkk
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beaulesbian · 9 months ago
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I was only today years old when I realized that Trafalgar Law's names are probably references to two battles that led in our real life history to a certain emperor (Napoleon)'s defeat.
*arrives 10 years late with a meta post because of a realization*
uhh Dressrosa spoilers, I guess.
Trafalgar and Waterloo... Water Law.
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In One Piece world that emperor being Doflamingo, who suffered two major loses thanks to Law's existence:
First being cca 13 years ago from the main storyline - at the Minion Island where Corazon managed to get the Op-op devil fruit for Law and saving his life from Doflamingo. On that island, Doflamingo lost both Corazon and the devil fruit he wanted to much to get his hands on, as well as Law, someone who he wanted to use as the sacrifice to get the immortality via the devil fruit's powers.
Tbh I haven't really heard about the Trafalgar battle before today. When I first heard about Trafalgar Law as character while I started to read One Piece only cca 5 months ago, I only thought "huh, isn't that a square in England, I was there on a trip once" but didn't look more into it now.
So I just skimmed throught the wiki pages of those battles, I don't know all the details, I don't want to compare it too much, but some maybe similarities/parallels that piqued my interest:
The Battle of Trafalgar were the spanish-france forces against english navy, and Donquixote/Dressrosa arc including all those spanish themes, as well as Law being from the North Blue (where Sanji and Mont Blanc Noland are/were also from) being a bit influenced by France, plays interesting role when this happened in North Blue as a prelude to what would 13 years later happen in Dressrosa (the birdcage, Doflamingo's rule, the puppets, etc).
This part of the Trafalgar battle describing the british was at first outnumbered, that the spanish had more ships along with one of their biggest one:
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reminded me of how Corazon himself faced with the whole Donquixote family, including Doflamingo:
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and some more interesting similarities how the "hero" of the battle died even before it ended:
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but thanks to his informations, the Navy later arrived, and Law got away.
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(even on the wiki of the Trafalgar battle there were mentions of some false informations, previous pursuits of the ships and admirals etc, so that vibe kind of fits.)
I haven't read much about the Waterloo battle, except how known it is for being the final defeat of Napoleon, by Coalition armies - which would nicely parallel to Law and Luffy starting their own Alliance during Dressrosa, and thanks to that it caused for Luffy to be there to beat Doflamingo once and for all.
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Some other small details I noticed:
The Don Quixote book was apparently first published in two parts, one in 1605 and the other in 1615.
The battle of Trafalgar happened in 1805, and the battle of Waterloo in 1815.
I found one person even connecting the date when was published the chapter of Doflamingo's deafeat in Dressrosa - 18th of June, 2015, which is the same date only 200 years later after Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo.
I love that in some sense both battles have in common water, and for the One Piece world that is connected with pirates and ships - with the historical aspects the battle of Trafalgar being a naval battle, and Waterloo for the Water in Trafalgar D. Water Law - he concealed his full name from Doflamingo for all those years, his secret name as well as the will of the Ds. - for our world a possible reference if one looks more that he really was meant to be Doflamingo's downfall.
There's just something beautiful about Law's whole existence to be a sort of a foretelling of the fall of one of the emperors of the sea, just by having these names. And it's not just the names of his, but the parallels to the situations and results of the incidents taking place at those locations.
It's literally a middle finger to Doflamingo:
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moongothic · 2 months ago
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Kinda started rereading Dressrosa and... Although I always chalked up the similarities between Crocodile's plan to take over Alabasta and how Doflamingo took over Dressrosa as nothing but Oda reusing similar plot elements but in a slightly different way (just to show us what could've become of Alabasta had Croc gotten away with his schemes, what Luffy helped prevent from happening to begin with)...
Robin's reaction to hearing the story of Dressrosa and HOW Doflamingo took over the country, that simple little "...!!", actually does kind of speak volumes
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Like if you wanted canonical evidence to Crocodile having been "inspired" by Doflamingo, then yeah, Robin would be The Person who would pick up on that, she'd be the person who'd be like "hey, that story sounds awfully familiar to what Crocodile did", since he was her boss
Do want to note that, timeline-wise, Doflamingo only took over Dressrosa 10 years ago, where as Crocodile had been Scheming and establishing his position as the Hero of Alabasta for 16 years. Like Croc's intent to obtain Pluton and create his military nation utopia absolutely pre-dates Doffy's takeover, so that wasn't and can't have been inspired by Doflamingo at all. It's more just the plan and method Crocodile ended up going with (framing the king (through a bloodbath) and putting the country in a position without a ruler where he could just yoink it for himself with ease) where the similarity becomes more obvious. But it is also kind of where it ends. Doflamingo wanted Dressrosa because he felt like he was entitled to the island (as his family had been its original rulers and he was a Tenryuubito), and was using the island for his own gains (Smile manufacturing etc, for his dealings with Kaidou), all while having a great distain and hatred of the world and how he had been "wronged" (=Tenryuubito rights revoked). Meanwhile... yeah, Crocodile wanted to create a "utopia", only targetting Alabasta because he believed Pluton was there and because Pluton would be needed for his ideal military nation. That minor difference and Crocodile's clear and great distain and hatred of Doflamingo combined...
Yeah, I dunno, this is just interesting to me. God I need Robin and Crocodile to have a lil reunion chat
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kyouka-supremacy · 2 months ago
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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james-spooky · 3 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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an-theduckin · 8 months ago
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Wait shit people might actually care about me
#sorryyy for the personal posts lmao just not having a great time lately . ill go back to posting abt fandom stuff soon dw#hopefully the self loathing phase is over now cuz i really didnt enjoy that!#mf got me thinking thay everyone secretly hates me n itd be better if i was dead ahahaha#but like. my friends talk to me daily. my mutuals love me. i didnt go to school for like 3 days and my classmate who im kindaaa friends wit#texted me saying. and i quote “Hi [name]. I know its late but i hope your doing well. Hope to cya tmr.” (the full stops symbolize each text#cuz she sent three seperate texts)#and i was just. so flabbergasted at that#i didnt rlly think anyone would really notice if i was gone#i didnt think anyone cared me enough for that#i thought theyd just be indifferent to it#also i sound pathetic rn but i reread that girl's text over n over again when she sent rhat. was literally on the brink of tears#and i just. wow.#people might actually care for me. they might actuallynotice when im gone. they might actually miss me#ive been so inside my head n thinking allat bad stuff about myself that i. didnt think that people might see me differently than the way#i saw myself#really and truly i love you guys so much#even if we've never talked to each pther before or interact very little. i appreciate all of you. you guys rock#anyways aha i should stop rambling now loll. as for now i think im doing a bit better#life still sucks but hey at least i have my friends. at least i dont hate myself anymore now#at least now i dont believe that everyone was being friends with me out of pity#thank you all for everything :')#man i need a hug rn lmao#tw vent#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation#tw self loathing#tw self destructive behavior#<- dw about the tags i dont feel/do those anymore#if you wanna talk to me abt this or just talk in general hit me up!! i love talking to ppl i dont like being alone xd#love youu <33
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hollowflight-propaganda · 9 months ago
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It's that time again where a random song makes me think of a wof character, this time it's Homesick by Noah Kahan with Flame
Do what you want with that information
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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 9 months ago
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it’s missing takaba hours
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subarashiihibi · 11 months ago
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i've already written about these quotes in my own drrr novel notes but i have to post about it here too just because i need to speak about it again but
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narita describing izaya as 'very difficult to grasp or classify' here in his first real appearance and introduction is so UGHHHHH it's so fucking good. izaya is like an enigma and he is so complex and he's got all these things going on with him that all work to make him so so so beautiful and so i just really like that narita worded it like that. i love to observe izaya like he's a specimen under the microscope.
the other things i highlighted were also very important to me i think the 'anything that wasn't himself' is also a good glimpse into izaya's personality and the way his mind works. 'equally pleasant face' i just like that one cause i like when they call him beautiful in the story . <3
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this also made me feel like i was going to ascend from my couch first time i reread it a while back. how interesting is it that narita describes mikado's feeling as though his 'entire existence would be denied' by the very man who so obviously struggles with facing his own humanity and instead chooses to see himself as an omnipotent figure. i just idk i'm not even going to try and get further into it bc i'm already like just feeling like i need to start rolling around and pulling my hair out but my god i love izaya orihara so much he truly is the goat he is MY goat 🙏🙏🙏
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pyrriax · 11 months ago
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hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing
#haunted ecosystem#this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much.#im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3#like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art#but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good#im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.)#okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked#but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how#i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical#and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his.#whatever the fuck is wrong with him.#i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it#that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun#once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off#more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest#for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr#and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane!#ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp#it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.
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kroosluvr · 3 months ago
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idk how to word this rlly but you are so good at drawing Soft expressions like I can see the love in their eyes and every line of their face
WAAH BLUSHES THANK YOU SO MUCH ;-; <3333333 that makes me so happy... i love drawing affectionate/soft/melancholic/etc expressions so this means a lot to me.... thank you so much anon!!!! ;o; <33333333333
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knightzp · 1 year ago
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finally on winter break yayyyyyyy
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themyscirah · 4 months ago
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When you're in a Hal Jordan mood but don't want to read Geoff Hal before you read Rebirth and can't read Rebirth before you read Spectre and can't read Spectre before you read Day of Judgement and can't read Day of Judgement because it will spoil the ending to Spectre (1992) and you still have 40 issues left of that but you don't want to read them right now because they don't have Hallllllll (and also you need to slip LWAT in there but you don't want to read that now because you feel like it should be a bigger deal and also are worried about Spectre spoilers) SO basically is there any GL comic out there that I CAN read?
Anyways the real solution to this is just do something older like Emerald Dawn/Emerald Dawn II but also. Now I spent too long posting and the vibes are dead
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