#have i mentioned that I’m a sucker for found family

[stvrlighttrena]

okay I’m almost finished with the stuff for the Ao’nung fic I’ve been working there was a slight setback: work but now I’m free and now back into the swing of things but I wanna ask people if they be interested in a crossover fic 🤭🤭🤭 it’s been running through my mind for so loooooong that I’ve already made a playlist for it. Basically its a Guardian’s of The Galaxy x Avatar fic where the reader is Jake and Neytiri eldest daughter who feels like a outcast in her own family and ya know all that eldest daughter trauma who

gets abducted and adopted by thanos who trains her along side Gamora and Nebula as assassins/mercenaries who eventually meet Peter, Rocket, Drax, Groot (and Mantis as well at some point ) who become a family amongst themselves and form the Guardian’s . The reader eventually has to face and confront her family when the guardians crash land on her home planet Pandora but doesn’t want to reconcile cause she finally found a family of her own with the guardians

[myvoiddreams]

Fragments of Starlight

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: With the impending war, Y/N is captured by Hybern's general. As they struggle to protect those they care about, they reflect on their unrequited feelings for Azriel and their insecurities within the Night Court.

Word Count: 4,585

Warnings: ANGST, violence, torture, dark themes

A/N: This is my first time ever writing anything like this. I am a true sucker for angst. This is meant to go along with some of the events of ACOWAR, but of course, it’s different. Please don’t come at me for not following it’s exact story line. ALSO, I know that Azriel or Feyre would NEVER, but it’s just for the heartache okay!!

Part 2, Part 3

------

Now

All of it, it was all going to shit. I don’t know how my ears weren’t bleeding at the sheer amount of noise coming from the chaos around me. So much screaming, but was it Hybern’s forces, or our own? Everything was ringing, my head throbbing along with it. It was almost as if my breaths were not reaching my lungs. I was on the ground, all fours underneath me as I tried and tried to get myself to my feet. Everything was sore, it was like my muscles were not working. I stretched for the source of the aching on my temple and what I found was the warm, wet consistency of fresh blood.

My family, where is my family? Panic drenched me like a bucket of ice water.

With a groan, I grabbed my sword that lay beside me and turned to face the sky, now sitting at least. The sky, it was so blue. It almost felt like a disgusting joke to see something so beautiful, as dead bodies lay at my feet. Hybern’s forces were surrounding me, there was no escaping this.

I grit my teeth as I stand, my blade in hand. Dizziness rolls off me in waves, so much so that nausea is found coursing through my veins. I don’t get very far up before I’m slammed back down to the earth. My face hits the dirt as all the air leaves my lungs, leaving nothing but the taste of the earth and blood in my mouth. There is someone standing on my back, applying enough pressure I’m sure I’ll have a broken rib or two.

“Don’t go too far, sweetheart. We are just getting started with you.” A cry of pain leaves my lips as one of Hybern’s generals continues to crush my ribcage. The nausea and ringing in my head is too much. Then, with another blow to my head, everything is dark.

---

Before

“Oh, come on now sweet cheeks! You can do better than that. Az and I trained you myself!” Cassian’s voice was oh so annoying as he pinned me to my back. Sweat was gleaming across both of us as we spent the morning training. I was panting as my mind continued to reel.

Life had gotten tense with the Inner Circle recently. Not only was Prythian on the cusp of war with Hybern, but now we had to juggle the two newly made Fae that were the Archeron sisters.

I honestly felt bad for them. They did not ask for this life. I can only image what it would be like to go through life having your humanity ripped from you. Now knowing that you are going to be around for centuries instead of decades. And I felt bad for Feyre, who never wanted to see her sister’s dragged into this.

Usually, Azriel would be here with Cassian and me. Usually. It seemed as though Azriel had been getting far in over his head with the middle Archeron sister as of late. I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. But, I would never admit that fact out loud. Elain was half here and half not. Whenever she did speak, she’d just spew some crap that didn’t make any sense. But, that didn’t stop Azriel from spending any time he was not preparing for the war, with her.

Azriel. My heart seized at just the mention of his name. I had known the Shadowsinger for centuries. I stood by his side as he faced his own inner turmoil about Rhys being taken from us right under our feet. I stood by him even before that as I watched Windhaven and Devlon try to take was little he had away from him. Really, I had stood by everyone in this Inner Circle. But Azriel, Az was different. This too I would never admit out loud.

It took me holding him one night, after he had dreamt of his hands being lit aflame again, that it snapped. In all his vulnerability, it just, snapped. Az and I had shared a connection, a friendship, and I had loved him far long before the mating bond clicked in place. It only felt right that it was him. But, it hasn’t snapped for him.

It hurt, every single day, it hurt. And to watch him try so hard to make whatever it was happen with Elain, who was mated to someone else, made me feel worthless. This too, was not his fault. How was he supposed to know when I refused to breathe a word of it. Honestly, it might be a good thing, the distance. It hurts, but Azriel deserves happiness. I don’t know if I’m the one who can give him that.

“Damnit Cass!” I grunted as I fought back from his restraint.

“You are letting yourself get sloppy, Y/N. No room for that on the battlefield.” His face was smug. I felt some embarrassment creep up my neck and find its way on my cheeks.

“I know, I know.” I huffed. “Just let me up already.” I gave up on fighting back. Recently I found myself lacking the energy I used to have. I used to be full, driven, but I have found myself distant lately.

“Look, are you sure you’re okay, Y/N? You have not had your head in the game recently.” He stood and held a hand out to me. Cassian only wanted to check on me, it was nice really. I just wasn’t used to it. I had been the one the members of this court had always leaned their heads on. There just seemed to be no room for the others to do the same for me. So, I never asked them to. I wasn’t going to start now.

“I’m fine Cass, just tired.” I retorted.

“Aren’t we all sweet cheeks.” He said as he patted my back.

---

Now

Fire is crackling somewhere near me, but I can’t feel its warmth. I feel myself chained up. My arms were far above my head, hanging me from a support post. My feet had been stripped of their shoes, and now chains wrapped around my ankles. My body hurt, breathing hurt, and my head hurt. I was sure that this hellhole was only going to make it worse.

“Ah, there she is. Glad to see you actual awoke, we were starting to get worried.” Spoke the same general who broke my ribs.

I kept my mouth shut, only glaring at the direction of the voice. My vision was still blurry, and where I hope there was only one of him, I saw three.

The entrance flap of the tent open and closed to reveal another male. This one, I recognized. The King of Hybern himself.

“If it isn’t Y/N of the Night Court. I have to say, my men did a fine job bringing you in here for me. Wouldn’t you say so?” His voice was gruff. “Now that you’re here, we some questions we need answered, and I suggest you do answer them, dear. I’m sure you don’t want to find out what will happen if you don’t cooperate.”

I lazily lifted my head toward the King and sneered. “Try me.” I bit back, my voice laced with venom.

“Oh, I was afraid you’d say something of those sorts.” The king waved in another male, he was in head to toe in black. Something similar to what I’d see our very own Shadowsinger wear. Only this male was no where near the build of Az, but damn, did he look pissed.

The male pulled out a small dagger that was sheathed on their waist and made his way closer to me. I couldn’t help but let a little laugh escape my lips, “Size does matter you know,” I quipped. I know this man was here to interrogate me, but I could not let these people know how truly vulnerable I felt.

“Oh? I beg to differ.” The male stated as he plunged the dagger into the flesh of my calf.

---

Before 

Rhys wanted to have a family dinner tonight. It would be the first one in quite a long time. With everything going on, who was to blame anyone? I couldn’t say I was looking forward to it though. I used to love the time I could spend with my family, but now, it wasn’t the same. Not when my family was no longer the same. 

Rhys had Feyre, who don’t get me wrong, I love, and I love to see Rhys have the mate he has always deserved. But, with the additions of the Acheron sisters came with something strained. Cass hasn’t said anything, but I see the way he looks at Nesta. Nesta, who wants absolutely nothing to do with him, or any of us for that matter. Mor and Amren hadn’t been around as of late. Both were too busy preparing for this inevitable war. Mor with being an emissary and Amren with working out some logistics of the Cauldron. 

And Az. Azriel was no longer seeking me out. No longer spending time in the training ring or the library with me. Instead, he was with Elain. 

And then, there was me. Before this family all I was, was alone. Finding this family had saved me in more aspects than one, but I can feel it shifting under my feet, about to give way and take me with the edge of it. 

This though, is something I would never speak about. There is enough going on as it is. No one needs to be burdened about me, my unreciprocated feelings for the Shadowsinger, or my silly feelings of insecurity. I’m a friend to the court, a warrior, sometimes an advisor, but, I am nothing compared to the rest of them. I simply do not hold enough importance, and that is something I must live with. Something I am terrified they will realize as well. 

I was the last to make it to the table. Cauldron, even Elain is here. And next to Elain was Az. Hazel eyed, messy haired, Az. We caught each other’s eyes. I couldn’t help but let a smile creep up onto my face in greeting, and he smiled back.

I took my seat next to Cass and Amren and looked at the table around me. Even though war was around the corner, it felt good to gather as if nothing was wrong. Conservation started buzzing, everyone started eating, and I drifted off to a place that wouldn’t hurt me.

—- 

Now

Sweat is dripping off me in beads. My body is littered with cuts and bruises. But, I didn’t say a word. Not a single word about the size of our armies, not a word about what Rhys and the others had planned, not a word about our allies. Not a word. And I was paying for it.

Gods. They had left me here, giving me a break from the beatings and the torture. Whatever the used must have been laced with faebane because I have never felt this weak. This out of control of myself. I wasn’t healing, and I was still losing blood. At this rate, it wasn’t looking good. I was still hanging from my arms, I’m sure at this point I had a shoulder out of it’s socket. A rustling began again at the entrance of the tent.

“Back for more?” I croaked. My throat was completely dry from the screaming. But, when I got my eyes open enough to see what the cause of the noise was, my heart stopped dead in it’s tracks.

Elain.

---

Before

I retreated from dinner early. As pitiful as it sounds, I couldn’t be around it. I couldn’t stand to see Azriel with her any longer. Not when I knew he was the one who was slowly healing her and ruining me.

Knocking at my bedroom door pulled me from my thoughts and I was looking into a book, not really reading it. “Come in,” I shouted.

The site of Azriel caught me off guard. Once upon a time, it was normal for him to seek me out from my room. Now, it simply wasn’t. I couldn’t help but tense.

“Oh! Az!” I put my book down and stood. “How are you doing?” I smiled up at him.

“You would know if you hadn’t left dinner so early.” He looked down at me, frowning and crossing his arms. It was rare that Az was upset with me.

“Look, I’m sorry, I’m tired after training today.” I gave him a sad smile, not wanting him to push the issue further. “But please, tell me what I missed.”

This somehow made his shadows start to swirl around him and he huffed. “I was telling everyone how much progress Elain had made. She’s having actual conversations now.” He smiled at it, proud.

I tried not to show any hurt on my face. I have no right for this to hurt me. He was helping someone, and I had to be pitiful enough that I was jealous.

“That’s amazing Az, you’ve helped her a lot.” I let another smile grace my face. Before I knew what I was saying it was falling out of my lips, “But, you do realize that she is mated, right?”

Azriel’s demeanor shifted. His shadows became agitated, “Elain is a friend. She is going through a lot, and she needs support.” He sighed, “Plus, I think that cauldron could be wrong.” That sentence alone was enough to rip whatever was left in me to shreds. Why couldn’t he see me?

I had to take a deep breath to keep the silver lining in my eyes in place. “Az, when in your life have you ever seen the cauldron be wrong? Why would it start being wrong now?”

“Look, maybe you’ll understand one day, but it’s wrong about her and Lucien.” He crossed his arms now.

“It sounds like you want to it be wrong. Whether it is, or not.”

Azriel was growing frustrated. His eyebrow ticked and he huffed, “Can you blame me for wanting something more?”

“She is mated Azriel. Off limits.” I tried to stress him. “I don’t want to see you hurt if it doesn’t turn out the way you want.” I sighed. “I wouldn’t want my mate ripped away from me, I’m sure Lucien doesn’t either.” He doesn’t even realize that I’m talking about him. Not a single clue.

“Ripped away? Look Y/N, just because you’re alone, does not mean I have to be. Why are you making this about you?” He nearly snarled at me. Snarled. “I have finally found another purpose other than this war. I have found something, someone, to spend my time with and enjoy.”

His words hit me like an arrow to the chest. Alone. Maybe they all did see me, and they just didn’t care. Why couldn’t I be enough for him? Why hadn’t in all the time and cherished memories we have together be enough. We had held each other in hardship. We had trained together. We had grown together. We had spent countless Starfalls together. We had shared so many laughs and touches. Why wasn’t what we had enough for him?

The weight of Azriel’s words hung in the air, heavy silence settling between us. My heart ached with the sting of his remark, and I fought to keep any of my remaining composure.

I deflated, “Az,” I tried to sigh as he cut me off again.

“Well, maybe if you weren’t so insecure, you’d see that I’m just trying to help someone who’s been through a lot. You’re jealous and it’s clouding your judgment.” He stared at me, and I had to look away. I didn’t realize it but I began to shake. I couldn’t tell if it was from rage, or from the way my heart cracked as he spoke.

“I think you should go Az.” My voice began to break, and I could tell that my walls were going to come down. Not once had I ever asked him to leave.

His own eyes softened, and he reached for me, “Wait.”

He tried to continue but I cut him off, “Leave, Azriel.” I turned to face away from him. I gathered my arms together. I couldn’t let him see the tears that were rolling down my face, I wouldn’t.

He pulled his arm back to himself and hesitated, seeing the pain he was causing me. Without another word, he turned and left, the door closing behind with a heavy finality.

---

Now

Elain. What the fuck was she doing here?

Seeing her tore me from my stupor. She acted as if she was in a trance, half there. I was really panicking now. I could take this torture and pain, Elain, I don’t think she would last. I could hardly pull at my restraints at this point.

“Elain! Elain!” I screamed at her, trying to get her attention. One of the males that was hauling her in, left her side and strolled to mine. Next thing I knew I was tasting my own blood in my mouth as his fist met with my face. As the blood welled up in my mouth, I felt rage hit me. I spat at him. His face now coated with the bloody saliva that he caused me.

He wiped his hand over his face, ridding it of its bloody covering. I snarled at him as he drew a blade. Good. This way the focus would stay on me and not Elain. He brought the blade to my face, slicing a thin mark down my cheek. “If you wanted more, you could’ve just asked.” He trailed the blade down my neck, and now to my collar bone, all the while slicing lightly as he went. He brought his lips to my ear and his hand grabbed my face, “I have so much more than just blades and fists in store for you, girl.”

It was almost too hard to stomach. I didn’t want to know what he was alluding to. Elain, do this for Elain. I told myself. I kept silent and he pushed me away, returning to the other male who was already putting Elain into restraints.

Why is she here? Why is she not fighting back?

As they finished with her restraints, Hybern himself walked back into the tent.

“Cauldron be damned, if it’s not also Feyre’s cauldron made sister.” Hybern chuffed, “We are truly going to have such a fun time together.” He chuckled as he looked between Elain and I.

He nodded at his men and they both reach for their knives. One for me. One for Elain.

“Wait!” I blurted as I saw the man move toward Elaine, “Please, leave her unharmed.”

“Hmm,” hummed Hybern, “Now, tell me pretty thing, why would I do that?”

“She’s a Seer. Please, you must leave her unharmed or she will be no use to anyone. She will not come out of any trance if she is harmed.” I didn’t know if what I was blabbing was true. I only knew that I needed to protect Elain, for she could not protect herself.

Hybern nodded again at the male who was at Elain’s side. The male sheathed his blade and I let out a silent sigh.

“You on the other hand,” Hybern turned his attention back on me, “I have some questions about pretty Elain.” A wicked smile reached the lips of the male in front of me, as he lifted his blade threatening. “You, dear Y/N, best answer them.”

The male reached for my shirt and tore it in half. Now leaving my chest and abdomen exposed to the air, only a warrior’s wrap covering my breasts. I gasped at the bite of the air reaching my skin. My abdomen was littered with black and blue bruising from the beatings. The faebane in my system slowing any kind of healing.

I turned my face to a stone grimace. I could do this. I told myself. If nobody comes for you, then surely someone will come for Elain.

That truth hurt almost as much as the torture that I was being put through.

---

Before

It had been about a week since I’d seen Azriel. The bond that used to hum in my chest felt vacant. Rhysand had sent me and Cassian to one of the Illyrian war bands that were positioned in case of an attack.

It was a single flaming arrow that was sent into a tent that set everything into utter chaos. Cassian was in the middle of a meeting with some of the other commanders, and I was in the training ring.

Hybern’s forces hit us as if we were nothing but an anthill in their way.

I don’t know where Cassian was as I fought and fought, until I was brought down.

---

Now

I was hardly holding on. I had no energy to cry out anymore. No energy to even lift my own head up. My abdomen and back was near ribbons after that male drove his blade into me again and again.

Elain had seemed to snap in and out of it. When she was somewhat coherent, she would only cry. I felt bad for her, but I had done what I could do protect her. There wasn’t a single scratch on her.

At thinking of Elain my mind drifted to Azriel. I wonder if he’s looking for me, if not, her.

The inner circle had to know that something was wrong at this point. I only hope that Cassian was also okay after we were ambushed. I’m sure if he wasn’t, he’d be right next to me also receiving the beatings I was.

Blood dripped down my back, creating a small pool under me. I truly didn’t know how much longer I would last. I had never felt weaker in my life.

I should’ve told him that night. Anguish was suffocating me. I found myself retracing everything I did as of late. The way I stole myself away from my family because I was being nothing but pitiful. The way they started to treat me differently. The way one no one would come to me anymore, and I would not go to them. No wonder they have left you here. You are nothing to them. My mind bit at me.

What truly bothered me was the downfall of mine as Azriel’s friendship. He was the one person I could always truly count on. If I had fallen in training, if I had drank too much, if some stupid male had broke my heart, it was always Azriel that had caught me, and me him. It’s why I fell in love with him long before the bond snapped its place into my heart. And now I was going to die without him ever knowing. I was simply going to fade away as my blood pooled underneath me.

It's better this way. I told myself. Elain is unharmed, and I will fade before anyone knows of this bond. The war will be won and Az will be able to move on with someone he finds joy in.

I couldn’t help but let tears run down my face. I wanted to scream, to find some way out, but with the faebane running through me, I was simply too weak.

---

I woke to the sound of rustling at the entrance of the tent. The rustling led to Elain, and I could hear her restraints being messed with. I nearly couldn’t pry my eyes open at the sound. Maybe they would finally take me from my misery. I silently hoped. That’s when I heard a quiet gasp. I looked up to see.. Feyre? And behind her, the one messing with Elain’s chains, Azriel.

My heart lurched to a stop. They had come to help, we were going to get out.

“Azriel..” Feyre quietly said as he brought Elain into his arms.

“What.” He nearly hissed at her. That’s when he looked up and truly saw me.

“Az.. Feyre..” I choked on my words. Help was here. I was going to get out of here. To make it. Finally something positive bloomed in my chest in place of where that hole had found itself.

Azriel set Elain back down and rushed to my side. He put a hand to my cheek, “Y/N, we couldn’t find you anywhere. Cass, he said you were missing after the battle.” His touch sent shivers down my beaten spine.

My restraints still bore heavily into my wrists where I was strung up. Then, there was rustling and yelling coming from outside of the tent.

“Help me down, please.” My voice was raw and pleading.

The yelling was getting closer and closer.

“Az, we have to leave, now.” Feyre said, trying to scoop Elain into her arms.

Azriel’s hand left my cheek, and panic flared into his eyes as he took in my state.

Hybern’s soldiers were coming, realizing something was wrong. Azriel looked between Elain and I, backing up from where I was strung up. He was backing away from me. Why was he backing away from me?

My own panic started to settle deep inside of me, long squashing any hope that had found it’s place.

“Azriel… please,” I coughed quietly. Dread was setting deeply inside of me. They didn’t plan on saving two. They came here for Elain, not me.

A sob found it’s way onto my lips as he picked Elain from Feyre’s arms. Feyre herself looking torn, her eyes expressing so much anguish.

“We will come back Y/N. I promise.” Azriel’s words were yet another punch to the gut.

I couldn’t help but let the sobs I had been holding onto for so long bubble out of me.

“Please don’t leave me here.” I cried, no longer caring for the quietness. They both stiffened at the sound of my voice. “Please,” I was gasping for air as this point, “If you’re not going to take me, then at least put me down.”

Their eyes widened at my statement, but I couldn’t hold for much longer. I needed this pain to end. This suffering to be over with.

“We will be back. I will come straight back.” Azriel hushly stated. His eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes were boring into me. They were trying to convince me he was telling the truth, but I knew better. I knew that they were only getting into the camp once successfully.

They chose Elain. They were going to leave me behind.

“Just kill me, please kill me…” I sobbed, “Please if you are going to leave me behind, then just kill me.”

Feyre was crying now, and Azriel. I knew, that even though he was choosing Elain, Elain to save, and Elain to love, he still wouldn’t harm me.

“I’m so sorry Y/N.” Feyre bubbled out of her crying lips as she quickly left the tent under her cloak.

Azriel and I made eye contact again through my sobbing, through the tears that were leaving my eyes in force. “I will be right back. I will come back for you.” And then, he was gone. With Elain in his arms.

I broke, truly broke. No weapon could hurt me as much as the sight of who I loved most, my mate, leaving me here, strung up and bleeding out.

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Be still, my foolish heart.

Pairing/Au: Soft single dad!Joel Miller x Curvy f!reader, no outbreak

Words count: 8816 (I know, I’m sorry 💀)

Rating: +18, MDNI, NSFW

Summary: A meet cute at the clinic where you work leads to finding the best date you could ask for… our one and only Joel Miller.

Warnings: pov second person, no use of y/n, meet cute, a little bit of a slow burn, reader is curvy, has breasts and vagina and wears a dress, apart from that no other specific description is given, age gap (reader is 35, Joel is 46), Joel is a single dad and he is soft (what can I say, I’m a sucker for a soft Joel okay), reader doesn’t trust Joel immediately and she thinks he might be dangerous (he’s not, he’s cutest), Sarah is alive and well and she’s mentioned multiple times, mention of Tommy, Joel is a contractor, unprotected p in v (wrap it up IRL, folks!), pussy pronouns, mention of use of oral contraceptives (reader is on the pill), fingering (f receiving), oral (m and f receiving), dirty talks, elderly people being fragile and sick, slight mention of Joel’s prescriptions including antidepressant (game Joel took it so I put it in there), I know that prescribing medicine doesn't exactly work like that in America (not even in Italy for that matter) but allow me a poetic license (😂), reader has insecurities about her body, mention of bullying and previous toxic relationships that reader has been subjected to, internal reader’s voice inserts, pet names (pretty lady, good girl, honey, sunshine, baby, babe, angel), squirting (not specifically mentioned but still), Joel is feral and reader too.

I don't think I forgot anything but if I notice it I'll add it right away.

I made a mood board for the first time in my life, I know it's not great but I tried 💀 English is not my first language so please be gentle (I also have Covid at the moment… yeah, it’s 2024 and I caught it for the third time, lucky me), I hope there aren't too many mistakes, no beta so it's all my fault LOL, no proofreading. Title is an Hozier quote. Of course, because I love this man.

Oh sh*t, here’s what I was forgetting: the mirror scene is inspired by Polin (yep, it was a great scene ❤️) but I think I personalized and changed it enough to make it just Joel and reader's, at least I hope.

(Reader works in a clinic because I do this job so yes, she has this thing in common with me besides being curvy. Every time I write a curvy reader is so personal to me)

I might write something else about these two if you like, I really love this pairing and I hope I’m not the only one, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated! Thanks to anyone who will read this 💐

You are at your desk, absorbed in an email you are writing to a patient who is asking for prescriptions for medicines. The clinic is empty and quiet and this doesn’t happen often so you’re trying to keep up with emails and messages and phone calls that you have received in the last hour.

Suddenly the door opens and a man enters the clinic, at first you don't even look at him, you just say "Good morning" and continue typing.

He clears his throat and says “good morning” and stops in front of you, on the other side of the desk. He’s clearly waiting for you to shift your attention to him so you turn and look at him. For a moment you’re speechless. He’s a gorgeous man.

Tall and broad, dark hair slightly streaked with silver, strong aquiline nose, beard and mustache framing a pair of plump lips, perfectly designed jawline and neck.

Stunning.

You didn’t expect anyone like this ‘cause really, the doctor you work for has hundreds of elderly patients or families with children and you have never been interested in married men, you don’t even look at them but anyway, you never saw a single person that was attractive to you in this place before.

You smile politely as you ask “do you need anything?” and you want to sink into your seat because you don't even have makeup on and you're wearing the first things you found in the closet this morning. An old pair of jeans and a black top.

“Yes please, I need some prescriptions. I just changed doctor because my previous one is now retired. I always sent an email to his secretary but this is the first time I've asked for my prescriptions here so I thought I'd stop by in person especially since I was in the area. I’m working in the building next door”

Bingo.

That’s why you never saw him.

You quickly look at his hand on the desk for a ring and it’s not there.

His hands are gorgeous though, big strong working and experienced hands.

“Sure, can you tell me your name please?” you ask trying to keep your tone professional while being excited to know more about him.

“Joel Miller” he says and you find the way his tongue rolls up to pronounce the r at the end so delicious it’s almost embarrassing.

For a moment you're almost afraid he might hear your thoughts.

You turn back to the computer typing in his name and a moment later his medical records appear.

46 years old, born in late September, he lives in Austin. You look at his prescriptions and notice a reflux medication, another for high blood pressure, and an antidepressant.

Oh.

What happened to him?

“Well, Mister Miller, what do you need today?”

“You don’t have to call me Mister Miller, even if you’re younger than me I think?”

You look down in bewilderment, not expecting much familiarity from him since it’s the first time you’ve seen him but you answer anyway “Yes, actually. I’m 35”

“So you can call me Joel” he says with a smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth and hopeful eyes of someone who asks not to make him feel old.

“Of course I can” you hurry to answer “So… Joel, what do you need today?”

He gives you a grateful look and replies, “I don’t remember what it’s called but… my medicine for high blood pressure.”

“Oh yes, this one” you nod and proceed to prepare it, “just a moment, Mr Miller… uhm I meant Joel, I need to get the doctor to sign it,” you tell him as the printer gurgles, spitting out the prescription paper.

You stand up from your chair, feeling your legs a little unsteady, and once you’re in front of him his height impresses you even more. He’s imposing, you’re a curvy girl and yet you feel so tiny in front of him.

You notice that he looks you up and down and seems pleased, his eyes reflecting an approval that makes you very satisfied.

You move quickly to the doctor's office, enter apologizing and have him sign the prescription. When you leave you find him standing in front of your desk waiting, he looks at you again and you notice a certain sparkle in his eyes.

"Here you go" you say and hand him the prescription.

You feel his fingers lightly brush yours and a shiver of pleasure runs down your spine.

“Thank you,” he smiles at you, “you are very kind.”

“No problem, have a good day,” and you approach the desk to sit down again. You see him hesitate for a moment, as if he wanted to add something.

“Do you need anything else?” You ask curiously and a part of you really hopes that he will ask you for your phone number or if you want to go get a drink after work.

“Oh no, no thanks, see you next time”

His gaze drops to the floor as he says this, as if he's embarrassed, which you like because it feels like you're not the only one in the room who's been pleasantly shaken up by this encounter.

He puts his hand on the door handle and turns once more, smiling shyly.

You smile back feeling a sense of tenderness so premature that you wonder if you're losing your mind.

You go back to work but all you think about is him, you want to know more.

You enter his name again in the search bar and reopen his folder. Joel Miller. You wonder who he really is and what he does but apart from his pathologies and his date of birth you don't find much else about him. His address is there but you certainly won't use it for unorthodox purposes such as accidentally ending up in his neighborhood, you would pass for a stalker as well as a very unprofessional secretary.

Nothing stops you from noticing that he lives in a very quiet residential neighborhood though.

Will he be married? There are men who do not wear a wedding ring so it might not be safe to rely only on the fact of not having seen it.

You hesitate a bit before doing so because you already feel awkward enough for someone you've only seen once but in the end you type his address in the search bar to see if other people who live with him in the same house appear, usually families tend to have the same doctor for convenience.

You hold your breath as you stare at the white screen waiting and after a few seconds a result appears.

Sarah Miller.

“There I knew it, he’s married” you think, huffing and shrugging, but then you look better and realize that this Sarah is 14 years old. “So… he has a daughter”

No one else showed up in the results so you assume he is not married but he may have been and then got divorced. Unless his wife chose another doctor but that seems very strange to you.

You contemplate trying to Google his name but then decide it's best to wait until you get home, you can't use the work computer for personal stuff.

You sigh and go back to your work, completing your search just a second before the doctor comes out and asks you if you have any urgent messages.

Today everything is strangely quiet though, even if you wasted time looking for information on Joel you finish all the work, not without thinking about him at least once an hour. You feel silly, you shouldn’t have any kind of thought about someone you don’t know and with whom you have only exchanged a few words, the fact that he seemed interested and that he was about to ask something while he was about to leave could also be false projections that you have made in your head. And yet…once home, after taking a shower and putting on clean pajamas, you throw yourself on the sofa nibbling on a sandwich and open your laptop.

You open Google and type his name and the first result that comes up is “Miller - construction company”

It could be him, now that you think about it he mentioned he was working on the building next door which is in fact under construction.

You scroll down to the bottom of the page where the owners are listed and you see two names, Joel and Tommy Miller. You assume that Tommy is his brother. You go back to the Google page for a moment and check if there are any namesakes but no one else in the city has the same name. And just like that, you know what he does.

You don’t think you can do anything with this information, you live in a new apartment and everything is in perfect working order so you just have to wait. Before leaving he said “see you next time”, so now you find yourself wondering when the next time will be. Probably in a month, when he will need a new prescription.

Such a long time. But maybe this will help you, you tell yourself. It's just a passing thing, you tell yourself. You can't be so foolish as to project your fantasies onto him. You decide that this is okay, you'll just get over it.

_____________________

After a week you almost got Joel out of your mind. You worked quietly, met the usual old people who came to the clinic to be examined, no sign of him. You'd be lying if you didn't think about it anymore but you stopped yourself from doing something foolish like contacting him for a fake construction job to try to meet him.

You are preparing some prescriptions when the doctor comes out of the office and asks if you could please take some medicine to the home of a very elderly patient. It is something you usually do not do but the caregiver cannot leave her alone and her son is away for work all week so she had no choice but asking you to do that. It will take up extra time because you will have to go to the pharmacy and then to her house, the doctor offers to pay you overtime but you know the lady and say that it is not a problem, you can do it without compensation.

Of course you can do that for Rose.

When she was better and could move around quite independently you often talked when she came to the clinic, she immediately took a liking to you and treated you like a niece, she would bring you gifts, vegetables from her garden, other times sweets cooked by her.

She is a dear lady, you are happy to be able to do her a favor.

At 5:00 you leave the office and head to the pharmacy, pick up her prescriptions, and get back in the car to drive to her neighborhood.

Rose lives in a nice street with many rather large houses, well-kept gardens and white picket fences.

You knock on the door and Georgia, the caregiver hired by Rose's family to assist her, opens it.

You already know her, she has accompanied Rose to the clinic many times but lately her health has worsened a lot and she can no longer leave the house.

“Hi, Georgia! I I brought Rose’s medicines”

“Hey! How long has it been since we saw each other? Come in!” She says with a big smile.

Georgia is a very sweet person and a great professional, she has taken great care of Rose all these years. She is a qualified nurse and the granddaughter of a long time friend of Rose. Georgia had moved to Texas from Arkansas to attend college and since then she had always lived at her grandmother's house, who lived a few miles from Rose's house.

She took the job because she loved her and when her grandmother passed away Rose was very close to her.

Georgia offers you a coffee and some chocolate cookies she has prepared, which you gladly accept.

You chat a little while Rose is resting and then when it's time to wake her up to take her evening medicine you accompany Georgia to her room to say goodbye to Rose.

She is lying motionless in a bed, now forced to ask Georgia for help with everything, she is almost 85 years old now and you are so sorry to see her like this. Until a few years ago she was an energetic, witty woman, with lots of hobbies, she loved reading, gardening, cooking and going to the movies. Now she was a ghost of herself. And the worst thing was probably that her mind was still working, so she realized what was happening to her and this made her even sadder and more helpless. Her body did not respond, while her mind understood everything.

She recognizes you right away and greets you so sweetly with her now faint voice. It breaks your heart to see her like this.

She asks you for a hug and you put your arms around her little shoulders, holding her gently. She's always been good to you, she doesn't deserve this.

You leave the room, wiping away a tear, without letting Rose see you, and say goodbye to Georgia, promising to come back and visit them soon.

You stand in the driveway feeling helpless for a moment, you would like to do so much more. Some patients have become like an extended family to you, you have known them for years and seeing some of them fold in on themselves, increasingly frail and elderly is so bad.

You look up and see a black pickup truck driving down the road. There’s a man in it and he looks familiar. He pulls into the driveway two houses down and gets out. And oh, shit.

It’s Joel.

Joel Miller.

He lives in the same neighborhood as Rose and you didn’t even registered that in your mind before.

You don't know what to do, whether to get in the car and drive away pretending nothing happened or take the opportunity and go say hello to him.

It seems silly to say hello to someone you've only seen once, no matter how attractive they are. You walk to your car, rummaging through your bag for your keys.

You're about to curse because never once do you find something in your bag, it doesn't even matter what it is. Big bag? You find nothing. Small bag? You find nothing either.

Your eyes move for a moment to the asphalt and you see two boots approaching, you look up again and you see two legs wrapped in dark jeans streaked with paint and of course to those legs is attached the rest of Joel Miller's wonderful body.

Your eyes widen and you watch him stop in front of you, beautiful as a God. Even more beautiful than the first time you saw him.

“Hi! I saw you across the street and I was pretty sure it was you. I almost made a fool of myself, but hey, I was right!”

You lose your words, it's as if they've slipped out of your brain and melted at your feet.

At least you solved a dilemma, he greeted you first.

“Hi” you say shyly.

This doesn't make you any less nervous, you were trying to sneak out of this neighborhood unnoticed and you could say that he ruined everything and you don't know him well enough to know whether to be grateful or keep running away pretending to be very busy.

He has a daughter, a respectable job, a brother, lives in a nice neighborhood, and seems to lead a regular life. Is that enough to trust these days? Probably not.

This dude can be anyone, a serial killer, a criminal, a drug dealer, a thief, whatever.

How do you know he doesn't sleep with a gun on his nightstand or keep dead bodies in his basement?

Trust no one, is something you learned from a very early age and you always stood by it, safety first.

Have you been wanting to see him again for a whole week? Yes.

Did you just realize that you know nothing and that you might be risking something? This too.

“Can I ask why you’re here?” He asks, running his hand through his curls in a way that drives you instantly wild.

God, why is he so gorgeous, this doesn’t help at all.

You can always run to Rose and call the police if he suggests something strange and you’re in the middle of the street in broad daylight so you decide to take the risk and say the truth

“I came to deliver medicines to a lady who lives here” you reply, acting like he doesn’t have any kind of effect on you.

“Oh, so this is something you do? I didn’t know that”

“No, not regularly. I actually did it because it’s Rose, you know. She’s an adorable old lady”

He nods as if he knows exactly what you're talking about and actually says, "Sure, Rose. I know her. She used to babysit my daughter many years ago."

Okay, those are some great credentials. So maybe you can trust Joel Miller? Isn't he a lunatic homicidal? Maybe not.

Obviously you pretend you don’t know anything about Sarah and ask, “Oh really? You have a daughter?” raising your voice in surprise for a better result.

“Yeah I do. She's 14 years old and she's already giving me a hard time, she’s so smart and responsible that she’s basically parenting me” he shrugs while a little smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. You can see in his eyes how proud he is of her.

You giggle “well, she sounds so cool, I do love a tough girl.”

“Oh, she’s definitely your girl then”

You smile and think that after all, yes, Joel probably doesn't have any horrible skeletons in his closet.

And again he falls silent and looks uncertain and embarrassed, he lowers his eyes and then asks you, “You know, I’m going to be working in the building next to where you work for a little while longer, so I was wondering if you’d like to have a coffee with me sometime?”

It’s like every word is bouncing around in your head as you think about what to say. Would you like to get to know him better? The answer in the end is, “Yes, I would like to, thank you” you feel your face heat up as you say it.

Joel shifts his weight from one leg to the other as he looks at you, he seems nervous, excited but above all happy.

“I’m glad you accepted. So…what do you think about tomorrow?”

“Okay, I have lunch break from 12 to 2, is 1 okay for you?”

You see his face light up “sure that’s fine. See you tomorrow then”

For a moment he raises his arm as if he wants to come closer and touch you, but then he immediately lets it slide down his side.

Gentleman, you note in your head.

It is not yet the time for such confidence, but secretly you hope that it will come soon.

You say goodbye to him and get back in the car and you see him waving at you in the rearview mirror.

“God, Joel Miller, I already know you’re going to be a threat for me. In the best sense of the word.”

_________________________

In the weeks that follow, you and Joel share a lot of coffees. Every day he waits for you outside the clinic at 1:00 sharp, you go to the corner café and chat for an hour before returning to work. He tells you a lot of things about himself and his life which you adore listening about.

He also confides in you that he was in therapy and had to use antidepressants for a period of time, when Sarah's mother abandoned them. You completely understand.

And the more you talk to him the more you get convinced that he’s a great person, you don’t have any doubt about that.

He never fails to compliment you, on your clothes, on your hair, on your eyes, on your nail polish.

He laughingly admits that the compliment about the nail polish was Sarah’s suggestion. “Dad, she told me, girls like it when you notice details.”

You laugh out loud and nod. “She’s right. And you’re right, too, you have a very smart daughter.”

He shrugs “I know,” and then adds. “It’s been so long since I’ve dated anyone, I don’t even remember how to do it anymore.” You lean slightly across the table and whisper. “Well, I think you’re doing great.” And it’s true. You feel spoiled like a queen.

He gives you a mischievous smile “oh yeah?”

“Yes, definitely” And you want to kiss him right there, in that crowded café.

Yet a voice inside you still can’t understand how someone like him, who could have all the women he wants, is inviting you, a curvy girl.

You shouldn’t, but you still have those latent insecurities from when you were 15 and boys in your class made fun of you. Somewhere inside you there is still that fragile and wounded teenager who thinks it’s impossible that someone could truly love you. Or even just desire you.

And you hate it, because Joel has done nothing but show you how much he enjoys spending time with you. And his compliments have always sounded sincere, his eyes are, they send you a reassuring image, full of admiration. He seems truly interested in you.

You're still in this internal monologue where you curse yourself for being like this when he asks you, "Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?"

Oh. He did it. He took the next step.

With your heart pounding in your chest and your mouth unable to help but curl into a smile you answer “yes!” a little too loudly.

You put a hand over your mouth as he looks at you amused “well, I’m glad you’re so excited about the idea. Should I pick you up at 8?”

“Yes, that sounds perfect” you reply, quietly this time but with a little firecracker in your chest that keeps banging where your heart is.

You finish your coffee and go out and he asks for your address which he writes down on his phone. You try to say that there is no need for him to bother but he insists on picking you up.

“Do you like Italian food?”

“I love it”

“Good, see you tonight” and this time his hand wraps around your arm and squeezes lightly as he leans down to give you a kiss on the cheek.

You return to the clinic feeling like you're walking on clouds.

You come home after working as hard as you can while still feeling anxious and completely unsure of what to wear. You know you didn't do anything wrong and that's a relief because you certainly can't mess up your patients' medications.

You jump in the shower, mentally going over everything in your closet. You decide to exclude any black dress because no, simply no. It's a special day and you want to wear a color. Maybe the green dress? No, green doesn't suit you, you don't even know why you bought it. Maybe the red one? But that one is very low-cut and you've rarely felt good enough to wear it. Maybe the blue one? The blue one is low-cut, but not too low-cut, it hugs you in the right way, it doesn't highlight what you don't want. Yes, maybe it's the right choice.

You hum in the shower as you wash your hair, satisfied with your decision.

You come out feeling invincible. Joel Miller has asked you to dinner. It’s been years since anyone has asked you out. You didn’t like the ones who did, and God only knows how much you miss good sex. Someone who touches you just right. Someone who makes you sigh and whimper and feel alive in his arms.

Someone who kisses you and leaves you breathless and doesn't hesitate to make you feel simply amazing as he goes down between your thighs.

Joel seems to have all the makings and miraculously seems eager to give you exactly that.

You slip into the dress and look at yourself in the mirror. You like the image it reflects. To hell with those stupid kids who always gave you shit and made you feel horrible.

You're going out to dinner with Joel Miller tonight.

Joel fucking Miller who in the high school categorization is the equivalent of the football quarterback.

The High School Prom King.

God, that makes you feel so good.

He rings the doorbell at 8:00 sharp, just as you’ve finished putting on your favorite lipstick. You take a deep breath as you go to open the door, placing your hand on the handle, and mentally preparing yourself for what you’ll find on the other side.

Finally you open it and he’s perfect. He looks like a painting framed by your door.

You stifle a scream with all your strength and say “hello” to him in a high pitched voice.

Goddamn you.

He doesn't even seem to notice. “So, miss, are you ready?”

“Sure, thank you.”

You grab your bag from the hall table and walk out with him. He takes your hand as he walks you to his pick up truck, opens the door and helps you get in.

Once in the driver's seat he turns to you and says "you look incredible tonight"

And you're about to say that after all you could skip dinner, who cares, instead you could go to your room and fuck. But you decide to behave as well as him, this man has a daughter to take care of and it seems like he's not looking for a one night stand judging by how many coffees he's offered you and how much he's put in to get to know you, so much so that by the second time he could order for you with his eyes closed, so you just say “you too” with the biggest smile widening on your face.

And oh, it's so true. He left aside the flannel shirts and the worn jeans and with them he was already the most attractive man who had ever caught your eye.

He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a beige shirt that hugs his strong biceps. You can glimpse his soft tummy as he drives, the last button before his belt tightening in a delicious way, his meaty thighs wrapped in those jeans are mouth watering.

The work he does makes him muscular in all the right places.

The car stops in front of the restaurant and he opens the door for you again. He lets you enter the restaurant first, he addresses the waitress politely and they place you at the best table in the restaurant. You are impressed, he did all this for you.

The evening passes pleasantly, you talk a lot and chat about everything, by now there is a familiarity between you that you have built over the weeks, you feel safe and comfortable with him. Finally. After so many failed and wrong relationships you feel like you have found someone right. Joel is not ashamed of you, he doesn't try to change you, he doesn't comment on your weight, he is truly a breath of fresh air.

And you see the way he looks at you, enraptured. His eyes sparkle as he talks to you and listens to you. He listens to what you have to say and never makes inappropriate comments.

You both have a sense of humor and you like that, you manage not to take yourself too seriously and laugh together. Which is hot. Extremely hot. Every time you see that dimple on his cheek pop up, your knees buckle and your heart melts. He’s so adorable.

You also like the fact that he talks to you about Sarah, it makes you feel involved in his life, it seems like he doesn't try to keep you separate from it.

“Sarah is at a sleepover at one of her friends. So…would you like to stay over tonight?” he says it looking you straight in the eye and you already know what it means.

It’s the night.

The big night.

After all, you felt it and put on your favorite lingerie.

“Sure I want to,” you reply, taking his hand across the table and squeezing it. His hands big and strong…you can’t wait to feel them all over your body.

He insists on paying the bill despite your protests, you walk out of the restaurant and toward the truck when Joel grabs your waist and presses you against the door. He’s an inch from your lips, you can feel his warm breath on your skin.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What if I say no?” you tease him with a mischievous smile.

His body is completely on top of yours and the truth is that you can already feel your panties getting wet.

“I would quit, but it wouldn’t be easy so I hope you’ll reconsider”

You giggle “okay” and you feel his hands tighten on your hips.

He presses his lips against yours and it's a sloppy, needy kiss, urgent, all spit and tongue.

It leaves you breathless and you wonder what he will do in bed if this is the effect he has on you with just one kiss.

In fact you are touching each other really for the first time, in these weeks you have imagined many times his lips, their taste, their softness, their warmth. Now you know that he exceeds all your expectations.

He's calmer now, his lips fit perfectly between yours, he gently nibbles your lower lip and continues to lick inside your mouth.

He’s divine.

Utterly divine.

His hands run up and down your hips and he's about to lift your dress and grab your thigh when you stop him. “Joel…”

He looks at you with bated breath and eyes begging for mercy. “Yes, sweetie?”

“Not here…please, take me home” you whisper and he sighs “okay”

You don't even know how you managed to stop but you want your first time to be just for the two of you, you don't want to risk prying eyes or voices shouting obscene comments getting in the way.

You're already nervous enough that he'll see you naked for the first time.

He makes you get back in the pick up and gets into the driver's seat, while he fastens his seat belt you cast an eye at his crotch and you realize he’s semi-hard.

While he's driving, you put your hand on his thigh, because he has to know how much you want him.

You squeeze gently and hear him grunt “Babe…don’t do it, I won’t make it home.” and you giggle.

His low, raspy voice drives you crazy, and for a moment while you're stopped at the traffic light you consider sliding down your seat and straddling him but no, just no, wrecking his car on your first date wouldn't be the best way to end it.

You take a deep breath, leaving your hand quietly on his leg, but you want… oh you want so much to move it up and reach his bulge and stroke it over his pants.

When he pulls up in his driveway in the cab of his pickup truck there's an electricity between you that could power a small village, you feel it fluctuating in the air.

He quickly unbuckles his belt and leans over you to unbuckle yours, not without kissing you. “Let's go, pretty lady, I feel like I can’t wait a minute longer”

You get out and run to the door, he nervously searches for his keys in his pockets and opens it. You don't even have time to look around, it's the first time you enter his house but you only see it fleetingly because he takes your hand and immediately drag you to the bedroom.

There’s a chest of drawers in one corner and a wardrobe, both made of dark wood, probably made by him.

In the center of the room there is a large bed with a headboard of the same wood, the walls are a beautiful cerulean blue, there are three paintings hanging above the bed.

The bed has beige sheets and a light beige duvet with white stripes.

It’s a very manly cozy room, he makes you sit on the bed and you feel how comfortable it is, it's like him, warm and soft.

He starts undressing in front of you, he takes off his shirt and unbuttons his jeans without taking his eyes off you, he seems hypnotized by you.

You suddenly feel like there's an emptiness in the pit of your stomach, you wonder if you're ready to make yourself so vulnerable in front of him.

Oh fuck, where did this come from now? Why? You were so happy just a second ago.

It was easy in public places, you were able to use irony and your defense tactics.

Now there’s just the two of you and you wanted that, you insisted for that and yet you feel exposed now.

You know it's right, your insecurities right now aren't from Joel. Joel makes you feel safe.

It's you, it's just you.

Joel notices your hesitation, comes closer and caresses your face then he gently takes your chin and raises your gaze towards his

“Are you okay?”

“Yes” you reply in a small voice.

“If you don’t want to do it, that’s okay, darling.”

Your voice cracks a little as you reply “no, oh no, Joel I want it”

“So what’s wrong? Talk to me, you can trust me, you know?” He slips his hand into your hair and caresses you gently, looking you intensely in the eyes.

It's so stupid, all night you've felt hungry and lustful for him and now… you're afraid that seeing you naked he might think he made a mistake.

“I…” you try to say. You know that he at least deserves sincerity from you “I… I’m ashamed”

Joel's eyes widen and a completely confused expression appears on his face “about what?”

He really doesn't seem to understand and it makes you feel a little frustrated

“About my body, about the fact that I'm not thin, I have stretch marks and many other defects and you will see them” you say it all in one breath feeling silly.

“Oh babe…no. Listen to me carefully: you’re absolutely gorgeous. You don't have to be afraid to undress in front of me, I'm sure that whatever is under your clothes is wonderful and deserves to be worshipped. I really like you. I'm not saying this just because I want to have sex. You’re beautiful, honey”

You feel tears stinging your eyes and you fight them back with all your strength “you could have anyone you want”

“I want you. I want you if you let me” his voice is firm, his fingers caress your jaw until they reach your lips and brush them gently.

“Do you trust me?”

Sure, why shouldn’t I. He’s never given me a reason not to. you say to yourself.

“Yes” you whisper

“I want nothing more than to make you feel good and I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

“I know”

“And you can always talk to me about anything, okay? I don’t want to make you regret this”

He is sincere. He is absolutely sincere and you can clearly see it in his big beautiful brown eyes.

“Okay” you smile

“And by the way…your curves make me absolutely feral” he gives you a mischievous smile.

“Yeah?” you say with a hint of surprise

“Sure. Would you let me prove it to you?” his hand is on your shoulder now and lingers on the strap of your dress.

“Yes, please Joel… yes”

Damn insecurities, they were about to make you lose the best man you've ever met.

And now you feel impatient again and want his hands everywhere.

Now you notice his broad chest, the freckles scattered across his skin, the happy trail of hair that ends up hidden by his jeans.

Now you can enjoy the view of his muscular shoulders and strong neck and you can't wait to taste his skin under your tongue.

His hands move slowly over you, he slides the straps of your dress and reveals your bra.

“Get up,” he says, “I want to show you something.”

You look at him in disbelief. “What?”

“Come with me” he takes your hand and makes you get out of bed.

He takes you to a full-length mirror in a corner of his room “Sarah made me buy this because she says I have to look at myself before I leave the house. She says I make terrible combinations when I get dressed. Sometimes I'm in a hurry and wear my shirt inside out or something like that." he says smiling and shaking his head.

You giggle and the confidential tone with which he speaks to you makes you feel special.

“Well I don't know if it's the mirror's merit but you did a good job tonight” you joke.

You are in front of the mirror and he is behind you “look at yourself”

You become serious again and observe yourself.

“Look how beautiful you are” he says in his deep and slightly hoarse voice“can I?” he asks placing his hands on the clasp of your bra. You nod.

He takes off your bra and drops it on the floor. You look at that woman in the mirror, you look at her skin and the roundness of her breasts and her hard nipples and then you look into his eyes and you see nothing but admiration “God, your breasts are amazing” you hear him say “can I touch them?” and you nod again “yes, please Joel”

He traces the outline with his fingers and then cups his hands and fills them with your tits.

You don't miss the moan of pleasure that he tries to stifle in his throat “they are so soft” he squeezes them delicately “mmm baby, they feel amazing in my hands”

He takes your nipples between his fingers and tugs on them slightly “and these? Look how sexy they are, I bet they would be delicious in my mouth”

You feel your skin heat up and your head spin, you squeeze your eyes shut at the sensation of his hands playing with yours hard buds and his words go straight to your cunt. He’s so good at this.

“Open your eyes, honey” he whispers in your ear “don't stop looking at yourself”

His hands leave your breasts and for a moment you want to take them and put them back there but you let him. He slides your dress down your hips, until you're left in your underwear in front of the mirror.

“You’re stunning” he punctuates every syllable on your skin making you tremble “absolutely gorgeous”

His hand slides over your stomach and your belly that always makes you feel insecure “Is that what worries you?” he asks as if he can read inside you “that you don't have a flat stomach? Honey, your tummy is amazing.”

He squeezes it and it seems incredible to you how delicate his big hands can be “It's full and delicious and sweet and I can't wait to bite into it”

You squirm, leaning over his broad chest “Oh my god” you moan

He caresses your hips with both hands, supporting you “and these… they feel welcoming and warm and mmm baby, so sensual. Can you see it? They fit my hands so perfectly”

You look at yourself and you've never felt this way.

Guided by his words you finally see yourself beautiful and desirable.

He slips his fingers under the edge of your panties “Can I?”

“Yes” you say in a breath

He slowly slides them off, revealing your pussy “Jesus.” He mutter “look at her. Look how perfect she is”

He just touches your mound and you feel hypnotized, his voice, his hands, the warmth of his body, it’s all too much.

“Oh baby… I love that you left that little strip of hair”

You can't hold back anymore and you whine “touch me Joel, I want more”

His voice vibrates on your soft skin again “Tell me what you want, in detail” He bites the spot where your neck meets your shoulder “I want to hear”

“Oh god… I want… I want your fingers inside me, stretching me just right” you babble “I want to feel full”

His fingers slide between your folds “God baby you’re soaking wet. It’s all for me?”

You squirm under his touch nodding repeatedly, you feel desperately needy and hungry.

“Yes. Please Joel”

“Please what, baby?” He ask maliciously

“Make me yours, make me all yours”

“Can you see how beautiful you are now?”

“Yes” you nod “yeah. Don’t make me wait any longer. I need you, Joel”

You can swear that right now you feel really beautiful and also the luckiest woman in the world.

“Oh, you're getting impatient now… I like that” he says in a hushed tone.

He's still behind you and holding you close, he's still wearing his jeans but you can feel his hard cock pressing against your ass.

You look small in his arms, he surrounds you completely.

He brings you back to the bed and makes you lie down, you are completely naked and yet you no longer feel ashamed and inadequate.

He takes off his jeans, remaining in a pair of black boxers.

At the sight of his erection poking out against the fabric you lick your lips in anticipation.

He lies on top of you, his eyes on yours, looking at you intently “You’re perfect, honey” and then his mouth crash into your neck, kissing and licking everything he can, he takes your skin between his lips sucking and biting like he was starving for you.

“Your skin is like velvet and you smell so good, fuck”

And you whimper and cry and clasp your hands on his shoulder digging your nails in them and you feel like you don’t need anything else in this life.

He lowers himself on your body, grazing at your skin with his lips, lingering for a while on your nipples and mumbling at how good they are.

“I love touching you with my mouth, tasting your curves against my lips” until he reaches your tummy giving sloppy kisses at it and then he bites it. His teeth are attentive and gentle but at the same time eager, like he wants to taste your whole being.

And then he come to your mound and traces your thin strip of hair with his tongue and you buck your hips and move one of your hands through his curls and you plead “more, Joel, please”

He grunts at you when you tug his hair and you look at him with the most miserable begging eyes you can pull out “You want it so bad, babe? Want me to eat you out?”

You mewl a yes and he smirk “want to come on my tongue?”

You nod again “yes”

He places himself between your thighs “God, she seems made for this. So sweet scented and pretty. I bet she tastes so good”

And in an instant he dives into your pussy and his nose bumps your clit as his tongue begins to lick you up and down, delving your folds and making your hips jerk.

Your legs are wrapped around his back and his hand is on your tummy holding you in place “god, you look so beautiful like that, my precious angel, all spread and ravenous for me” every word vibrates on your clit and make you moan loudly. It’s like a demon took possession of your body, an insatiable and aching demon that wants nothing but pleasure.

He nudges at your entrance with his tongue and you cry again for more “your fingers, Joel, please, give them to me”

He pushes two fingers inside your soaking wet hole, they enter just easily and he curls them up inside you reaching for your sweetest spot.

“fuck, yes” you howl “god they feel so good, they feel so fucking good, Joel”

“I know baby, I know, you’re taking them so perfectly”

He continues to swirl his tongue over your clit as he pump his fingers in and out of you, increasing the pace when you can’t hold your moans anymore and you’re so loud you almost fear his neighbors can hear you “God, Joel, I’m coming - I’m - coming ah- god you’re incr- ah” you’re totally babbling trying to get a complete sentence out of your mouth and you can’t, you just can’t because he’s too much and you never felt that good before.

“Soak my fingers, babe, soak my face, give it all to me”

Your pussy clench around his fingers and you feel breathless as your orgasm washes all over you, his dirty talk made you over the edge.

You whine his name as you come, again and again and he doesn’t stop lapping at you until you’re calm.

He lies down next to you, wrapping his arms around you, you bury your head in the crook of his neck and sigh, “Oh, Joel.”

His hand sits on your ass squeezing gently “Such a good girl for me. I can’t believe you almost called yourself out from this”

You playfully pinch one his nipples “don’t make a fool of me”

“I would never” he says, kissing your hair “I’m just saying that you’re too good to not be taken care of. Your body deserves to feel passion and lust and all of that”

“On that note… there’s something else I’d like to do” you look at him maliciously

“What, baby?”

“I would love to… uhm… fuck, I would love to give you head”

He tilt his head “excuse me miss? Watch your mouth!” You giggle hiding your face in his chest and he laugh, and then he goes serious and ask “You sure? You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to”

“Yeah, I know” and you raise your face to kiss the lovely bald patch in his beard and you move to his ear and you whisper “I really want that though”

“As you please, sunshine”

You cup his bulge in his boxer and stroke it gently over the fabric “someone else here needs to be taken care of too”

He grunts “yeah, baby, keep going like that”

“Actually… I can make it even better” and you move from his side getting on your knees on the bed and then sitting on your heels as you keep stroking him.

You lower his boxer and his cock spring free, he’s already hard as rock. You lick your lips “delicious” and he looks at you mischievously “I guess you can be naughtier than I thought, baby”

You smirk back at him, lowering yourself on his groin and kissing the tip of his cock, just the tip, gently as a feather.

You giggle and pull back as he bucks up his hips to your mouth “so impatient, aren’t you?”

“It’s just… I didn’t have anyone giving me head in a very long time”

You open your eyes wide “I don't believe it”

“I swear” he says in a lower hoarse tone “I didn’t… I had some one night stand here and there but nothing serious, you know, I needed to be focused on Sarah and my work. so everything was quick and meaningless”

You can’t imagine Joel having meaningless sex with anybody, he’s so respectful and attentive with you.

You raise an eyebrow. “Joel Miller, do you mean to make me believe that all the women in the neighborhood aren’t in love with you?”

“Oh Rose loves me for sure” and you laugh “but about the others… I don’t know, some of them tried a couple of times but I always rejected them. I told you, I didn’t have time for complications”

“Then why you’ve changed your mind now?”

“Sarah threatened to sign me up for Tinder if I didn't find someone. And then I met you”

You giggle “so you went out with me to be safe from Tinder”

“At first, maybe. But now you know that it's not just that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

What he just did speaks volumes about how much he likes you.

And you’re even more convinced now.

You lower your head and lick the tip again swirling your tongue around it and he moans.

You slide your tongue flat along his length and wrap your hand around the base. It's big, bigger than you expected but you don't feel intimidated.

“Oh baby, you’re so good to me, what have I done to deserve such a perfect girl?”

He gasps when you took all you can of his cock in your mouth, feeling his length sliding over your tongue and his musky taste invading your palate, you whine beginning to suck like you’re desperate, stroking the rest of it with your fingers.

It doesn’t take too much before you start feeling him throbbing between your lips, he’s right on the edge as you suck and lick and kiss him like the most delicious lollipop you’ve ever had.

He pants loudly bucking his hips “Baby I’m almost - AH- almost there”

You make his cock pop out of your mouth “finish inside me, then”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m on the pill” you nod straddling his crotch and positioning his cock at your entrance.

You slowly lower yourself feeling the tip force its way into your hole and you moan with every inch that pushes its way inside you.

You stay still for a moment feeling his cock fill you up completely.

He says nothing but he looks you in the eyes and the brown of his pupils has become incredibly dark.

Eventually you start moving on top of him, placing your hands on his chest, your pussy making lewd sounds and your tits bouncing, he takes them in his hands squeezing them as he sinks into you, deeper and deeper and harder and harder.

You’re basically riding him and you've never felt so wild and free, your insecurities just disappeared clouded by your pleasure.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so gorgeous like this, look at the way your hips move, it’s so fucking amazing”

You throw yourself onto his chest as you feel his seed paint your walls, you take his mouth with yours stifling his moans that echo inside you.

He slides a hand between you, searching for your clit, and his calloused fingers begin to move over it. You end the kiss to look into his eyes, “don’t stop” he whispers “come for me baby.”

Your head feels light and your vision blurs as you feel your orgasm building up from the depths of your tummy, your pussy clenching and squeezing his cock.

You gush all over him like never before, making a mess of his crotch and the sheets underneath, crying his name so hard.

You rest your head next to his, inhaling the smell of tobacco, wood and the sweat of his neck, and you laugh, you laugh joyfully, “God,” and he does the same, wrapping his arms around you and caressing your back “Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, I'm sorry”

He holds you tighter “you don't have to be sorry, darling, it was wonderful”

“I made such a mess” you murmur

“So what? Nothing that laundry can’t fix. And I’m good at laundry, you know?”

He kisses your forehead and stroke your cheek “I haven't felt this good in ages”

“Yeah, me too” you kiss him wrapping one your leg around his.

You both stay quiet for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth, kissing every now and then suddenly it hits you and you say, “Do you know who we owe all this to?”

“No, I don’t honey, to whom?” he asks confused.

“Rose” you say “Think about it, if I hadn't brought her medicines that day we wouldn't be here now."

“That’s true. I think we should go visit her and bring her a nice present.”

“Yes. She will love the story of how we met.”

You kiss him again and think about what gift could match this. Probably none, because it's the best thing that's ever happened to you.

[yongility]

NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 3/?

genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.

warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.

word count: +10k?

a/n: I’m sorry this took too long to post!! 😭😭 but I been so busy with college rn, I’m going to graduate this year so I’m like having a lot of work lately, and I wasn’t satisfied with what I was writing so that was the reason it took longer than expected, sorry!

I'm a sucker for cliche stuff so as soon as this fic popped in my mind l had to write it down, english isn't my first language tho.

I'm sorry if this is too long TT, but this is kinda a slowburn? it might contain a lot of parts so wait for part 3! One of the reasons this is long af it's because I would like to show you how Jaehyun and (Y/N's life is before they get together! So pls pls don't skip anything I hope you like it!

if you want to be in the taglist, just lemme know;) enjoy!

The third day of the week arrived promptly, where (Y/N) found herself comfortably seated in one of the library chairs, with her chemistry books scattered on the table in front of her as she studied for the exams she had coming up, with Jungwoo beside her.

It was becoming her routine for the week; after last Friday's party, what she most desired was to avoid being at home, especially after having an argument with her mother when she returned from the party.

She didn't want to deal with her in a good time.

Annoyed that her mother had thought it was a great idea to take away her right to use her own car as punishment for disobeying her that night and leaving the house... staying in the library seemed the most pleasant option; with silence, able to listen to music through her AirPods, without her mother bothering her every five minutes and being able to review what she had learned in her last classes: it was something she could take advantage of. She took a sip of her vanilla latte, which had been sponsored by Jungwoo, who, in an attempt to apologize for abandoning her in that way during last Friday's party, promised to pay for each of her daily drinks for a week and a half, no matter the cost.

And even though (Y/N) could afford that or even triple, she was still happy about it. Gifted things tasted even better anyway.

Of course, she first gave Jungwoo a -no- beating after telling him everything that had happened during his absence, but still, she appreciated that her friend was okay even though she hadn't heard anything from him until Saturday night.

During these last few days, with a new routine, (Y/N) was almost always in the same places, at the same times, and if she was honest, she was surprised not to have bumped into Jung Jaehyun at any moment.

It was weird; she would normally see him somewhere around the school, either accompanied by Lucas or just sitting on one of the benches while smoking his 'n' cigarette of the day. But simply, since Friday, she hadn't heard anything from him... she hadn't even bumped into Lucas, which increased the level of strangeness, considering he was a social butterfly, he was always around. (Y/N) had been aware of her words after Jaehyun had taken her home: she could no longer continue with whatever deal they had, with all the stress of her own tasks and knowing that no matter what she did, her cousin wouldn't give up his addictions, it was best to give up.

Although it would hurt her soul to know that there was no way to help Daeho.

But thinking about it, she didn't know if she had really been sincere about each going their own way... apparently Jaehyun had taken it very seriously to not show up anywhere, and although (Y/N) knew very well that being close to him didn't bring her anything good... his presence hadn't been so bothersome in the last few days. Really, after sharing a few words and spending more time with him, she couldn't say that she disliked his existence. It was funny if you asked the (Y/N) from a month ago, there would be no way she could have imagined that, somehow, she would be related to none other than Jung Jaehyun, who, on the outside, just seemed to be one more problem.

She tried to stop thinking about it and tried to focus her gaze on the book in front of her, but after a few minutes... it was difficult for her. There was something inside her that made her feel uneasy but she couldn't think what it was.

"There’s a race in Kosmo today" her best friend's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

Kosmo was the neighborhood that was right in the middle of the city, dividing Kwangya and Neo Zone. (Y/N) knew that there were usually illegal races in that area because it was when the rich kids from Kwangya usually dared to compete against Neo Zone.

"And why should I care...?"

"Your cousin will go to bet," Jungwoo replied, interrupting her study session.

The girl opened her eyes in surprise and asked, "How do you know?"

"Daeho told Mingi, and Mingi told me," he replied simply, shrugging his shoulders. The boy fell silent for a moment and cleared his throat. "Don’t you want to go?" He asked curiously.

(Y/N) looked up from her books and observed her friend incredulously. "Why would I want to go?"

"To keep an eye on Daeho," he answered.

"I'm still mad with him, I've decided not to help him anymore. I really tried, I've been trying for the past few years, but he doesn't want help and now I understand," the girl confessed, closing her book and letting out a sigh.

"Still... don't you think it would be fun? Getting out of our comfort zone a bit... seeing what all this racing stuff is about. I've heard they're amazing," Jungwoo insisted.

"Jungwoo, my mom will kill me if she finds out I went to an illegal race," the girl continued, taking a sip of her coffee.

"She won't find out."

"Jungwoo..."

"Come on, (Y/N), we won't even be in Neo Zone, it'll be in Kwangya only. We'll go, watch the race, and leave. We won't even make contact with anyone. We'll go on our own," the boy assured her, moving closer to her. "Please, I think it would be interesting to break out of our routine, just for one night, what could go wrong?"

"Many things could go wrong, Woo," she replied.

"We won't know unless we try," he pouted, clasping his hands together. "Please."

She hated how persuasive her best friend was.

She sighed and shook her head. "Fine, but at the first sign of trouble, we're leaving without a second thought."

"I love you so much," Jungwoo replied, hugging her shoulders.

"And I really hate you."

______________________________________________

The night fell faster than she expected, and among the roar of engines and the intense music that could be heard on the outskirts of Kosmo, (Y/N) felt something cold run through her body.

She could see familiar faces here and there, some of her classmates from Kwangya were in the place, and from the opposite side, the cars and familiar faces of Neo Zone were present.

It was a strange atmosphere for her; she had always played it safe, and now she didn't even know what to think. She felt herself getting closer to Jungwoo to not lose him, the last thing she needed was for them to separate like they did at the party.

She didn't think she could survive alone.

And it's not that she was dumb to think otherwise, but her parents raised her in an environment where they made her believe that she shouldn't do things outside her daily life. (Y/N) was afraid of adventures. Her life was governed by being obedient and doing the right thing; she didn't know when the moment of rebellion she had a few days ago when she left home the night of the party had been wise.

And now finding herself in Kosmo secretly from her mother at an illegal race? She must have gone crazy.

She believed even more so that she had gone crazy when something inside her hoped to run into none other than Jung Jaehyun.

She didn't understand why the urgency of what was happening, and even less why she expected to run into Jaehyun before running into Daeho.

Maybe it was because she found it strange not to have seen him since last Friday's party.

But she knew that if there was one place Jaehyun wouldn't miss... it would be the race tonight.

"Are you looking for Daeho?" Jungwoo asked when he saw her looking around. "He's probably with Mingi."

How could she explain to her friend that the person she was looking for was none other than Jung Jaehyun?

She nodded without saying more, and they both continued on their way while cautiously observing their surroundings. The smell of marijuana and car engines was embedded in the place, the music made their ears ring, and the night breeze made their bodies tremble.

(Y/N)'s eyes drifted away when she noticed Lucas in the distance, having a conversation with another guy. Lucas felt her gaze on him and looked at the girl with confusion before approaching her after apologizing to his companion.

"Hey, Kwangya kiddos, what brings you here on this magnificent night?" Lucas asked enthusiastically.

"We wanted to know what these races are about," Jungwoo replied simply.

"Hmm, interesting," the tall guy nodded. "Well, you're in luck, Jaehyun will race today, are you sure you want to see the show? The best of the area against someone from Yellow Wood," Lucas explained while cracking his fingers slightly.

Upon hearing the guy's name, (Y/N) looked up and paid attention to Lucas's words.

"If you're interested in betting, come to me," Lucas advised.

"I think we're fine like this," said (Y/N).

"Alright, take care. I'll go look for my guy to get him ready for the race," Lucas announced as he patted Jungwoo on the back.

The guy walked away from them with a smile, and Jungwoo responded with one of his own, then he looked at his friend and frowned, "relax, you're anxious."

How could she not be?

But before she could even answer anything, a few meters away, she saw the familiar face she had been looking for. In the distance, the silhouette of Jung Jaehyun was leaning against his car while talking to a few guys from Neo Zone, his neck tattoos weren't very visible due to the darkness of the night but she could distinguish them a bit, then... as if he had called him, Jaehyun's gaze moved to connect with hers, making her freeze in place.

Jaehyun frowned when he saw her standing just a few steps away from him, looking like a lost puppy as she stood beside Jungwoo.

The sight reminded him of a month ago when Daeho had clumsily brought (Y/N) to Neo Zone. Although this time she was accompanied by her best friend, another rich and spoiled kid from Kwangya. He observed the outfit she had decided to wear, once again, just like that time, it wasn't extravagant, no famous brand could be seen in her attire, and the only piece of jewelry she wore was a pair of earrings that definitely looked like gold...

He hoped she wouldn't lose them tonight.

Because they made her look good.

The surprise was evident on the girl's face when she took a better look at the brunet's body, who was now walking towards her, wearing a hoodie with its hood over his head and as he got closer, the darkness of the night was no longer so intrusive. It hadn't been enough to hide the bruises that were scattered across his body.

There was one under his cheek, just below his left eye, and it was reddish, as if it were flushed. Then, looking at the ones between his jaw and his neck, she noticed how they subtly mixed with the ink of the tattoo he had on his neck. That one was difficult to distinguish thanks to the dark lines that adorned that part of his body, but if you paid enough attention, it was alarming.

When she lowered her gaze over his torso and then looked at his hands, she could see the intense shades of red that his knuckles contained, as if ground blood had accumulated on each of them.

It wasn't the first time she had seen Jaehyun or Lucas with a bruise or two on a school day, but it was the first time she had seen it up close.

Her heart was pounding a mile a minute. Why was it suddenly doing this?

"Did you lost your way home?" Jaehyun asked when he was in front of her.

"Jaehyun," she muttered quietly, "... are you okay?"

The girl didn't need much to realize that was the stupidest question she could ask right now, of course he wasn't okay. And although she knew this happened regularly in Jaehyun's life, she couldn't help but fill her head with doubts; what had to happen for him to end up like this?

... was that the reason he hadn't gone to school?

A small smile appeared on the boy's face, and even with the different colors decorating his face, she could still notice the dimples that formed in it.

Why did he still look good?

"I don't think you came here to ask that, Angel," Jaehyun replied mockingly. "I really believed in your whole story about us going on our ways, so what are you doing at a race where most of the spectators are from Neo Zone?"

The girl was left speechless. "Jungwoo brought me here."

"Well, if that's the case, enjoy the races, I think it'll be fun for you to spice up your Wednesday nights a bit," he continued with a sarcastic smile.

"What happened to you?" She asked again.

Jaehyun didn't answer.

He had gotten himself into big trouble... all thanks to Jeno.

He had trusted that all his merchandise would be sold by the time Monday came around, but after being at Johnny Suh's party, where other dealers were also present, he didn't manage to sell what he needed.

He had a little less than half left in his pockets and in Lucas's.

Luck had not been on his side this time, and when he had to be accountable to Lee Sooman, he had to take responsibility for his brother's actions. And despite telling him that he would not take care of him like he used to after the argument they had... he'd much rather take the beatings he had received than see Jeno the way he did in the mirror.

That time, it really felt eternal. He still remembers the angry (but also mocking) look Sooman had on his face when Jaehyun and Lucas brought the money to his office and after asking Lucas none too kindly to leave, that was when Jaehyun knew what was coming.

With Cheol Uk by his side, leading him out of the office to the vacant lot not far from the warehouse, Jaehyun could do nothing but accept what was coming.

It was one blow after another, and he knew well that at that moment, defending himself was not something he should do or he would end up worse.

He remembers feeling every punch with tremendous pain, and all he could think about was Jeno and how he would have felt if it had been him getting beaten up.

At least Jaehyun was used to the beatings and had no choice; he already knew that all of this was part of being someone from Neo Zone, so he simply had to continue to comply with what Sooman demanded to the letter unless he wanted to end up again in the position he was in.

What felt like hours was really just a few minutes; Cheol Uk stopped hitting him after a while and without saying more, he left. Leaving Jaehyun in the middle of the vacant lot with a broken lip and eyebrow as he spat blood and reached for his abdomen for some support to get up and walk to where he knew Lucas was waiting for him.

How much more? How much longer would he have to keep with all of this?

But, right now, it wasn't something he should talk about.

"It's really not something you need to know," he replied with a smirk. "You came to enjoy the race, right? Then do it, I'll be running in a few minutes, if you don't get scared by the atmosphere here before that, I'm sure you'll want to see me," Jaehyun continued, winking at her.

"I think it'll be fun to see you in second place," the girl teased.

"Baby... I always win," Jaehyun bragged, looking her directly in the eyes.

It was then that the girl didn't say anything else, she just kept her gaze on his. She hated feeling intrigued by Jaehyun himself. Because right now she didn't even feel like she was in Kosmo, with Jaehyun in front of her looking directly at her, she didn't even feel real. She was getting into fire and she knew it.

And she didn't know if she could escape from it.

For a moment she felt a heaviness on her shoulders and warmth surrounded her, causing her to snap out of her thoughts and notice that the jacket that Jaehyun was wearing over his hoodie was now over her body.

"You were trembling like a chihuahua," Jaehyun explained. "Don't consider it an act of kindness, I'm just returning the favor after having done my jobs those two weeks... at least now they won't kick me out of school this evaluation period," he continued.

"I'm not sure if I should feel good knowing that I'm indirectly helping an illegal business," she replied, adjusting the jacket.

"No one needs to know," he replied. "Good luck tonight, don't get lost too much because things get interesting," he said, and without further ado, he turned around to go back to his friends.

(Y/N) stood perplexed in her place, and it was then that she felt Jungwoo's presence next to her.

"What was that?"

"I have no idea."

_______________________________________________

The next morning, after putting her books back in her backpack, (Y/N) looked at the jacket folded inside her bag, feeling a heaviness and remembering the events of the previous night.

The rumors were true... Jung Jaehyun was the best street racer in the area, because he not only competed once the day before, but two more times, winning 3 victories in a short time, and to be honest, it had been impressive.

She hadn't run into him again after the brief conversation they had, and even though she had been waiting for it... she and Jungwoo bolted from the place when they heard the police sirens approaching Kosmo.

The last thing she needed was for her parents to find out about her escapade.

She didn't hear anything from Daeho the night before, she even doubted if he had really gone to the race.

She didn't want to give too much importance to the situation, which is why she chose to continue her path through the school hallways, hoping to return the jacket that was at the bottom of her bag and trying to divert her thoughts to something other than Jaehyun.

And as if she had summoned him, she saw him under the entrance roof as he leaned against the wall and took a drag from the cigarette in his hands. (Y/N) checked the day's weather and cursed when she noticed the raindrops falling lightly. She had forgotten about today's forecast.

Jaehyun was lost in his thoughts as he watched the rain and let out the smoke in his chest.

The bruises were still visible.

She stopped abruptly to take the jacket out of her bag and, without saying anything, approached him and handed it back to him.

Jaehyun looked at her with a raised eyebrow and blew out the smoke from his lungs.

"You're welcome," Jaehyun said as he took the jacket in his hands.

"Yes, thank you," she said, feeling her cheeks flush.

"Where did you park your car?" Jaehyun asked out of nowhere.

"I didn't bring it with me, my mom confiscated it," she blurted out without thinking, and when she turned to look at Jaehyun, she noticed a mocking smile on his face.

"Oh, mom took away your Porsche," he pouted mockingly and shook his head. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"I'm fine, Jaehyun. Thanks," she said as she looked at the rain.

"Come on, it wouldn't be the first time I've taken you. Plus, the school won't be closing anytime soon."

She thought about all the possibilities that crossed her mind, but something about her was excited to think about the ride home.

"Where's your car?"

______________________________________________

It was fortunate that his car was nearby.

Jaehyun turned on the heater as soon as they got into the car, and without further ado, the journey began.

It was just like the first time they had been together in the same car. Without saying anything, both with their eyes focused on the road, and it was then that they both realized that they didn't have a topic of conversation. The few times they had interacted had been about their interests and what they needed from each other at the moment. However, Jaehyun didn't know anything about (Y/N) that he hadn't heard at school, and (Y/N) didn't know anything about Jaehyun that she hadn't heard in the hallways or from her parents about the people from Neo Zone.

At this point, they weren't even acquaintances.

They had just coincided in something and that was it.

(Y/N) took the opportunity to send a text message to Jungwoo and tell him that he no longer needed to pick her up, without explaining more, she sent the text and subsequently, Jaehyun's phone rang.

The boy sighed and cautiously looked for a quick place to park even with the sound of the mobile phone ringing filling the car. He took the device and (Y/N) could notice the slight tension that seized Jaehyun's body as he read the caller ID, without thinking twice he answered the call.

The brunette felt weird being able to hear Jaehyun's conversation, so she tried to distract herself with something else. First with her phone, then looking out the window where she could see the rain beginning to dissipate, and then she could hear a "I'll be there in a moment" that made her react and turn to see him end the call.

The boy scratched his neck and then brought his hands to his face to rub it, let out a deep sigh, and looked at (Y/N).

“Uh, I need to do something quickly and your house is still a bit far... Do you mind if we stop by that place first? It's on the way” he asked with no other option.

“Does this has to do with your job?” She asked.

It took him a moment to respond: — No, it's not about my job. You can stay in the car, it's just that, I really need to get there.

After seeing Jaehyun's face and not being able to decipher what he was trying to say, (Y/N) nodded, not very sure, and that was enough for Jaehyun to quickly start the car.

Thousands of thoughts ran through (Y/N)'s mind. Eager to know where they were headed; she didn't know if she should believe Jaehyun that this wasn't about picking up or delivering goods or meeting someone who worked on the same thing he did.

She was only sure they wouldn't go to Neo Zone because they were far from there.

She could see how impatient Jaehyun seemed while driving, and that only made her even more nervous. What exactly did they tell him in that call to make him like this? She wanted to ask, but she knew she wouldn't get an answer.

She didn't know how many minutes had passed, she only knew that the rain stopped just before the car parked and she finally noticed where they were. A gray building was a few meters away from them, and it wasn't hard to recognize it.

It was the National Rehabilitation Center.

A long and large building, which was accompanied by an extensive garden, and from the outside, you could see that there were a huge number of rooms inside it.

Her head was flooded with even more questions knowing that this was the place where Jaehyun was needed.

“You can stay in the car if you want. I'll be back in a moment” Jaehyun said as he opened the car door and got out.

Curiosity got the better of her.

And that's why she got out of the car and followed Jaehyun. Without saying anything, they entered the building where they were immediately greeted by a nurse who seemed to know the boy well.

“Jaehyun, I'm glad you were able to answer the call” said the woman as she greeted them. “We need to talk to you”.

The boy nodded and turned to (Y/N), who just nodded and said, “I’ll wait for you.”

He smiled slightly and walked with the person until they reached the reception where she was able to pull out a few papers.

It had been, perhaps, about two weeks since the last time he had been there. A place he was very familiar with and where he regularly went; he had become good friends with the friendly nurses who apparently didn't care where he came from.

He was grateful that the nurse didn't say anything when his bruises and wounds were clearly visible.

“Has something happened?” he asked after a few seconds.

“ He's fine” the nurse said with a smile “but we need to talk to you about his stay here” she continued.

That's when the small smile on his face disappeared. Jaehyun knew what she was referring to. He swallowed hard before the nurse could speak.

“The payment is overdue, Jaehyun," the nurse confirmed what he already knew. "We care about Sicheng's health, but this is not my concern. You know that the center relies on patients' monthly payments, and the administrators in charge of them request them punctually," she commented as she handed Jaehyun one of the papers. "I understand your situation and Sicheng's, but there's nothing more I can do even if I wanted to; I've tried to delay the payment as much as I could, but unfortunately, it can't be delayed any longer. The administrators expect the payment soon, or we'll have to discharge Sicheng and send him home," she concluded.

It was difficult at first for Jaehyun to process everything the nurse had said, as more than ten things ran through his mind at once; one of them being his good friend Winwin, then, thinking about how he could quickly get the money he knew he owed to the clinic, considering the beating he had just received for not being able to complete a sale. So, what would he do? He still needed half the money for that monthly payment, and between the clinic's expenses and those of his own house for his family, he couldn't see a way to get the money on time.

He would have to ask for more stash to sell if he wanted to do it.

He couldn't let them discharge Sicheng.

Not while he hasn't made progress.

"I'm sorry," Jaehyun said. "I... I still have a little left to complete the payment. It's just that lately, it's been harder, and... how much time do I have to pay it?" the breathless boy asked.

"Considering that it's only the first few days of the month, and the payment is already two weeks late... I can't give you more than three days," lamented the nurse, making a grimace.

"I'll try the impossible to bring you that money on Saturday. Sicheng still can't be discharged; he hasn't progressed the way he was supposed to," he affirmed, a slight pout evident in his mouth.

What a contrast there was between his expression and the bruises, accompanied by the tattoos on his body.

Being in the Rehabilitation Center was the place where he could be most vulnerable.

"How is he?" he asked, lowering his gaze.

"Same as the last time you came to visit him," commented the nurse. "We're doing what we can, Jaehyun, but as long as he stays the way he is, we can't move forward. We need his will to help him."

When no words came out of his mouth, the nurse continued: "Jaehyun, you know you can go see him."

For Jaehyun, each visit was just as difficult as the day he decided to admit Sicheng to that clinic, and each one left him more tormented than the previous.

He would give everything if that means that Sicheng would go back to be himself.

He nodded after a few seconds and cautiously glanced back, where, not far away, (Y/N) was reading some brochures and observing the facilities around them; when she noticed the boy's gaze on her body, she walked toward him carefully.

The brunette didn't really know what came to his mind or what caused those words to come out of his mouth, but when he wanted to back off, it was too late, because they had already been expressed.

"Are you coming with me?"

And although (Y/N) had no idea why they were there or where they were going, she accepted anyway. So they found themselves walking down the long whitewashed hallway until they reached an elevator, and then they went up about three floors.

The atmosphere was cold, the hallways and rooms were well-lit, and they could see a few nurses and what she assumed were doctors walking around in their lab coats.

Jaehyun didn't know why he was allowing himself to show her that part of his life, especially when it was such a fragile part for him. He had tried to protect it cautiously for the past few months, and now he was there, accompanied by Hwang (Y/N), with the person he never thought he would meet at that moment.

He hadn't really thought of her when he asked if they could go there before going home; his head was only thinking about the clinic and Sicheng when the call had ended, and it was too late to change his mind when they had set off.

He just hoped the girl would be discreet enough.

They reached room 119, where Jaehyun pushed the door open and where in a wheelchair, they both could see Winwin, who was facing the large window of his room, looking outside.

(Y/N)'s surprised face did not go unnoticed; she was confused in a thousand ways. She knew who Dong Sicheng was; everyone in her school knew him, however... she thought he had simply left the city. She had no idea he was in that place. So in her head, thousands of questions arose about him, why he was there, and why he was in a wheelchair.

She could only react when she heard Jaehyun's voice: "Hey, buddy. How are you today?"

Nothing.

That's what he received.

Jaehyun walked over to him, and when he stood next to him, he crouched down enough to be able to observe him better. Winwin had his gaze fixed forward, his cheeks were a little rosy, his hair fell over his forehead, and his hands were resting on his legs.

Jaehyun sighed.

"Oh, I see you've taken a shower today," the boy mentioned with a smile, and again, there was not a single response.

When he noticed the presence of the girl, who had remained in her place throughout the visit and hesitated to approach them, he spoke: "Today I'm not alone; I brought company. Maybe you'll find it helpful to hear another voice that isn't mine or Lucas's... or the nurses'," the boy teased and gestured to the brunette to come closer, who obeyed. "Do you remember (Y/N)? She was in our class; we've coincided a couple of times, that's why she's here."

"Hello, Winwin," she greeted softly. Jaehyun made a grimace and stood up from his place to be at the girl's height.

"Don't expect an answer," Jaehyun commented. "There won't be one."

"I thought... I thought Winwin had moved to China," (Y/N) confessed.

Jaehyun snorted: "Yes, that's what everyone thinks."

Those words took her by surprise, and it was when she decided to remain silent, watching from a distance the little interaction between the boys: it was just Jaehyun saying a few words while adjusting Sicheng's hair without expecting any response.

Dong Sicheng and Jung Jaehyun had been friends since birth, being two little boys who grew up on the streets of Neo Zone, it was easy to click with each other. Winwin's parents had decided to move to the infamous area after his father had met Lee Sooman in some low neighborhood in Wenzhou, China, and he had offered him a job where he could have his family at least a little better off than in his country.

Winwin had not joined the gang since it had not been of great urgency to him; his father was the active member needed by the family, and if he were honest... the farthest he could be from the Neo Zone gang... the better. He was always Jaehyun's companion at all times. Best friends who shared every detail of their lives for years, Jaehyun took care of Sicheng, and he provided the most sincere friendship he had ever had... then, a while later, Lucas Wong and Mark Lee joined their adventures.

Four boys from Neo Zone with the desire to conquer the world, but unable to leave their sad reality behind.

Jaehyun still remembers that fateful day a year ago, and he still feels like it happened yesterday.

The guilt gnawed at him every passing day, terrorizing each of his nights as he wondered: Why?

Why did something like that have to happen to someone as good as Dong Sicheng was?

A year ago, when Jaehyun had chosen to go deliver a package of stash after Winwin had asked him to stay and keep him company, and he had denied that request... that decision still drilled into his head.

Winwin's family and he had been robbed in their own home. Knowing who had done it, the reasons for the event, and who had ordered such inhumanity, were still a mystery. When Winwin's parents along with him tried to flee the place by leaving in a car; it had not been the wisest decision they had made at the moment... because not long after, outside of Neo Zone, after the group of people who had robbed their home managed to shoot a clean shot in one of the tires of the rear part of the car, causing Winwin's father to lose control of his own vehicle and not a few meters later it would impact hard enough for the car to be shot in another direction, causing immediate damage.

Jaehyun only remembers receiving a call from Lucas and minutes later finding himself at the entrance to the Emergency Room of the General Hospital, where a stretcher with Winwin's body was being transported.

He remembers seeing the blood. He remembers hearing Lucas and Mark's screams asking to see their friend. He remembers standing still at the entrance to the Emergency Room.

But above all, he remembers thinking, what would have happened if instead of deciding to go sell that stupid package of stash, what if he had stayed at home with his mother and Sicheng?

A week in a coma and a diagnosis of paraplegia was what made Jaehyun lose his mind.

It had been a year since the accident, and Winwin had not even progressed a bit. After being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, it had been difficult to help the injury in the dorsal spine that he had suffered; the damage had been partial, Winwin could handle his movements and his sensitivity to walk again... if only he would come out of the state of shock he was still in.

There were too many things he experienced in so few minutes, so much physical and mental pain for what happened, that now, Sicheng couldn't react.

It had been a year since Sicheng hasn’t spoken.

The doctors assured that he could hear and understand everything, but he was simply mentally tired to process the words and make them come out of his mouth.

His body didn't react as it should either.

And until Winwin had the strength of his own will to do it, the only thing they could do at that clinic was to keep him on medication so that the pains would not persist.

But Jaehyun couldn't take it anymore.

What he would give for Sicheng to be able to enjoy life again.

Unfortunately, the visits he made to the hospital... didn't last more than half an hour since that was the place's regulation. So, his farewell was as quick as his arrival.

"See you on Saturday, Win," he put his hand on his shoulder. "Don't give the nurses too much trouble."

He could swear he heard Winwin laugh and say goodbye.

Even though that really didn't happen.

(Y/N), who throughout the visit remained silent observing both boys, could feel her heart in her hand. She had never believed she would see that vulnerability on Jaehyun's part, and knowing what it was about because of the importance his best friend had in his life, made her heart ache with sadness even more.

"Now I'll take you home," murmured Jaehyun when he passed by her without saying anything else.

The girl glanced back, looking for the last time at Sicheng's silhouette, who hadn't moved from the same place since they had both arrived in the room. She took a deep breath and left the room when Jaehyun was already far enough away.

She didn't know what to say. There were no words of comfort for the situation, and she knew it, that's why they both silently said goodbye to the nurse who had received them and continued like that until they entered the car, which was not parked far away.

Jaehyun allowed himself to lean back on the driver's seat as he closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

"I guess you have many questions," Jaehyun said without opening his eyes.

She had.

"I don't know if I really should ask them," (Y/N) confessed as she looked at him.

The boy remained silent for a few seconds.

"Sicheng and his parents had an accident a year ago," Jaehyun said, opening his eyes to look at her. "An accident that was caused."

"By whom?"

"No one knows," he replied, taking his hands to the steering wheel of the car and squeezing it tightly. "His parents died instantly... Winwin arrived at the hospital in critical condition; it was a miracle that he came out alive."

"Why...?"

"Why is he in this clinic?" he interrupted, and she nodded with a knot in her stomach. "The accident had a great impact and damaged on his dorsal spine; the doctors diagnosed partial paraplegia; his sensitivity in his legs was minimal, and he couldn't make any extensive movements with his legs that didn't make him cry from the pain. After seven days, he woke up from the coma and realized everything that had happened, including my uncle's death... he hasn't said a single word since then... the doctors said it would take time for him to recover, and that eventually, he would speak, but Winwin doesn't have the will to do it; he's still in a kind of state of shock, and that has delayed his recovery," he explained, unable to see her in the eyes.

"Who... who pays for all this if Sicheng's parents aren't here?" she asked curiously.

Jaehyun sighed; "For the first few months, my boss covered part of the monthly fee, until suddenly he stopped doing it. Since then, I've been taking care of it."

The girl's expression was one of surprise.

"How do you do it?"

"That’s the reason I'm in the business that I'm in," he replied, changing his gaze to her, being able to see directly into her eyes and causing her to feel a shiver run through her body.

There was something about those bruised eyes that had done something to her.

"It must be hard," the girl said in a murmur.

Jaehyun snorted and nodded slowly. He hated being seen in his less tough character. The only person he allowed himself to be like that with was Lucas... or Winwin. And for a stranger to see him like that... made his blood boil.

"You know? Winwin loved dancing," Jaehyun said, smiling sideways as the memory came to his mind.

That fact wasn't strange for (Y/N), she remembers seeing Winwin at the school theater... the only boy from Neo Zone who was part of the dance team. She didn't even know how he had managed that, but he must have been good if the Kwangya students allowed him to be in the group.

"Now nobody knows if he'll be able to do it again," Jaehyun continued. "Winwin was the only one of all of us who really had a future, he wasn't even a gang member... he hadn't even gone through his initiation, and look how he ended up."

(Y/N) swallowed.

"Mark Lee is no longer friends with you, right?" The girl asked curiously.

"Things got complicated with him after the accident."

The brunette fell silent for a moment and then shifted her body to face him.

“Haven't you thought about looking for another alternative?” she questioned again “You know? If you let me help you, maybe I could get you a position at my father's company and...”

“Shh. I think I've told you it's not that easy.”

“ But it could be” she insisted.

Jaehyun scoffed and shook his head as he looked away from her.

“I not only have to cover this quota, I also have to bring money home, for my mom and for Jeno. It's the easiest way to get what I need” he confessed “besides, I told you once... in Neo Zone there's no way out, once you're in, you're in forever.”

The tattoos on his neck were what sentenced him to a miserable life forever.

But as long as that miserable life helped to ease the pain and managed to make Sicheng return to who he was, it would be worth it.

“It doesn't have to be like this” she murmured, focusing on her own hands.

"You don't know what it's like to be part of this," he countered in a low voice.

How had they opened up to have such a conversation so suddenly?

The girl felt her lip tremble as she remembered the scene she had witnessed minutes earlier in that room, and she couldn't help but think about how it would feel to lose a loved one in such a way... knowing that physically they were present, but mentally they weren't there.

(Y/N) had always had a heart easy to move, but she really never believed that Jung Jaehyun would be able to achieve that.

"Is that why you insist on continuing school?" she asked, looking at him again.

"Students are my best clients," he replied with a half smile.

(Y/N) didn't know how to take that.

She closed her eyes for a moment and then said, "I can help you with a few more assignments," she assured. "But only for a while and in my own way. But, I don't want you to involve me in any of the problems you're in, it will only be school matters. I don't want to be associated with anything you do, if anything you do is enough to help Sicheng, I'll try not to question it."

Jaehyun couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"If that helps you help me and me stay in school..." he paused "...I might be willing."

"What's the reason for your change of heart?"

"Because if I were in the same situation as you, I would also want someone to somehow help me," she replied, hugging herself.

The boy nodded with a half-smile, and without further ado, he started the car.

"Only school matters," Jaehyun confirmed.

She definitely didn't know what he had just gotten himself into.

______________________________________________

The day after the visit to the National Rehabilitation Center, something happened that made (Y/N) unable to concentrate enough during class hours. Her mind kept going back to the place over and over again, but how horrible was the situation the boy was in. One day you're capable, and the next... not even being able to move. How could anyone endure that?

At some point in the morning, during the physics period, her mind was spinning, her leg moving anxiously, and she bit her lips. She tried to erase the conversation she and Jaehyun had had the day before a thousand times and tried to erase the image of Winwin in that room.

But it was impossible.

Just when she thought she had succeeded, the image returned immediately.

She hated being someone who cared too much about things.

Because she knew something wasn't right with her when she found herself in front of the doors of the Rehabilitation Center.

Her coat shielded her from the cold breeze on that day, and as she clutched her bag to her, she didn't think anymore and entered the place.

She felt a little out of place when she entered the center, but after a few minutes, a presence came in front of her.

"Hello, good morning," the nurse greeted her. "Oh, you're the girl who accompanied Jaehyun yesterday, right?" She asked in confusion.

The girl smiled and nodded. "Yes, I'm Hwang (Y/N). I'm Jaehyun's classmate... and Winwin's."

"How nice of you to visit us... are you here to see Winwin? It's rare to see someone come for him other than Lucas or Jaehyun," confessed the nurse.

"Um, yes... I could say I'm here for a visit," the girl smiled. "But, to be honest... yesterday I overheard a bit of his conversation with Jaehyun... I know Winwin's payment is delayed this month."

"Yes, usually Jaehyun finds a way to pay on time," she sighed. "But this month it's been delayed for a few weeks, and if I'm honest, I've been doing everything I can to keep Winwin from being discharged."

The girl nodded and asked, "Do you think Winwin's treatment will still take time?"

"I can't answer that accurately," admitted the nurse. "It's all a matter of Winwin's will, but to be honest, right now he has no will at all, so far as we're concerned, and if the payment continues to be monthly... he could spend another half a year here."

The girl understood the situation, and although she would like to think more about it... she didn't, so she didn't even know when she blurted out those words: "Is there any way I can pay for the next six months?"

The nurse's eyes widened with surprise, and she looked at the girl with enthusiasm. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," she replied. "I would like to help one of my classmates as long as I can. Money is not a problem," she confessed.

"Wow... thank you, i really appreciate that. Winwin is a boy with a lot of potential from what we know, and although we're sad that we haven't made the progress we want, we know that someday he will leave through that door better," (Y/N) smiled nostalgically.

"I just need to ask you something," the brunette confessed. "Could you not tell Jaehyun that I've paid?" she questioned.

"I don't know if it's easy to lie to someone like Jaehyun," the nurse laughed. "But since it's something good you've done... I'll try," the nurse walked to the desk with (Y/N) behind her. "(Y/N)?" She called and paid attention. "I know there may be many things about Jaehyun... but he's a good guy... beneath all that facade; he really has something good."

Those words hammered in her head. "Thank you."

_____________________________________________

(Y/N) reviewed the same line of text she had read five times now on some molasses topic. Trying to understand the topic deeply.

The air coming lightly through one of the library windows was enough for her to try to hug herself to take warmth, read a bit from the physics books on the table, and impatiently move her leg.

She didn't know at what exact moment a tall figure stood in front of her, but what she did know was that that person didn't seem very happy.

"Why did you do it?" Jaehyun let out while looking directly at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," (Y/N) replied while looking at her book attentively.

"I know you know. I thought I told you I don't need your money," Jaehyun repeated with annoyance.

"I still don't know what you're talking about," the girl stopped seeing her book and changed her gaze to the boy.

"Don't play with me," the boy exclaimed exasperatedly. "Why did I went to the center today and they told me Winwin's treatment has been paid for the next six months?"

The girl shrugged. "It could have been your boss."

"My boss doesn't give a shit about Winwin!" Exclaimed the boy. "I told you I didn't need your money, I was clear, I don't want to owe anything to anyone from Kwangya."

"You don't need to pay me back," the girl assured, standing up in front of Jaehyun. "With the money you'll save from that, you'll be able to sell less."

"It seems you don't understand a fucking thing!" Jaehyun raised your arms with annoyance. "Paying or not paying for Sicheng's treatment, it doesn't change the fact that I sell drugs!" The boy explained regardless of where they were; they were lucky the library wasn't being occupied by other people.

"Everyone starts somewhere!" the girl attacked. "I just wanted to take a weight off your shoulders."

Jaehyun scoffed and looked at her with a sarcastic smile.

"Why? I don't need your pity! If you hadn't accompanied me yesterday, you'd still be thinking Winwin had moved to China! You didn't give a fucking damn even when he was your classmate!"

(Y/N) started gathering her things and putting them in her backpack.

"Saying thank you would have been enough, Jaehyun!" the girl remarked. "I know you can do better with your life," she murmured as she turned to look at him.

Jaehyun's blood was boiling; he hated when people interfered in his life, as if he didn't already have enough to deal with.

"You don't know anything about me! You said it yourself; we're not even friends," he retorted.

"And what if I want to get to know you better?" the girl exclaimed without thinking. They both fell silent, staring into each other's eyes. (Y/N) didn't even want to say those words, but she did.

She couldn't deny that Jung Jaehyun was intriguing. She didn't know why. She didn't know why she had been avoiding him for weeks, but since that night at Neo Zone, when they had talked about the deal, she knew it would be difficult to shake him off, and when she had... something inside her wanted them to meet again. Why are things so difficult? They are two different people from different backgrounds; why would she suddenly be interested in him? Was it because she saw him vulnerable the day before? Or was it because she believed there was something good in him, just like the nurse had said?

She must be crazy to think like that.

"You really don't want to do it," Jaehyun said with a bit more calmness.

"I know you can get out out of that hole, Jaehyun."

"Winwin's parents tried, and look how that ended up!" he exclaimed. "There's no way out in Neo Zone, get that through your head," he explained. "There's nothing good about me. I don't even know why you think so, just because yesterday you saw something different or because I drove you home a couple of times, doesn't mean you know everything about me!"

"Stop acting like a fucking jerk."

"Like a jerk? This is reality! Your act of charity isn't going to change my life. I was born a dealer, and that's how my life will end!"

"I really believe there's something good in you."

"Well, keep believing it."

"If you ever feel grateful, you know where to find me," the girl said, gathering her things and walking out of the library.

Jaehyun cursed under his breath and shook his hands in frustration. In just a few days, the girl had managed to push his buttons faster than anyone else from Neo Zone.

But when he saw her walk out the door, why did he feel regret for lashing out at her?

_______________________________________________

The week had been slow this time. (Y/N) and Jaehyun had been avoiding each other like the plague, not even looking at each other when they crossed paths in the hallway. For the girl, it seemed like childish behavior, especially coming from Jaehyun and his usual façade; now he seemed nothing more than someone throwing a tantrum after she only wanted to help him.

But she still thought she really wanted to get to know him better.

What was behind his façade? What was it that made him who he was? Not the boy from Neo Zone, not the dealer everyone knew... who was Jeong Jaehyun really?

That question had been on her mind for weeks, and it disappointed her a bit to know that she might never know the answers to those doubts she had about the boy.

Today was warm compared to the weather last week. The sun was shining brightly, and luckily for (Y/N), her mother had decided to return her car. So her day had started off on the right foot, and hoping for a good day, she took the opportunity to stop by her favorite coffee shop in Kwangya. Ordering her usual vanilla latte and just before it was time to pay, a thought invaded her mind, and after debating it internally, she decided to follow her thoughts.

An hour and a half later, when she was the last one to leave her physics class, someone blocked her path at the classroom door. Holding her book to her chest, after the unexpected startle, she looked ahead to find no one but Jaehyun. Who stood silently in front of her, with the same leather jacket he used to wear, the same combination of marijuana and vanilla scent, and with the same enchanting eyes, that she had just noticed.

She was in dangerous territory.

And she knew it.

"I need to go to my next class, Jaehyun," the girl said shortly.

For a few seconds, the boy in front of her didn't say anything, he just watched her, until he sighed and slowly said, "Thank you."

Short and to the point, he didn't say anything else, and that was enough to make (Y/N)'s heart flutter in a thousand ways.

"For the coffee," the boy finished. "And for the notes."

"I did my part, I told you I would help you," said (Y/N) as she fiddled with her fingers.

"I thought you wouldn't after the last time we met," Jaehyun confessed.

"I'm sticking to that."

A small silence ensued. Two people face to face. With thousands of doubts between them and things to resolve. What had drawn them together? How was it that the universe managed to put two completely different people in the same place?

"Did you mean it?" Jaehyun asked, and when he noticed that (Y/N) didn't understand what he meant, he continued. "About wanting to get to know me more."

(Y/N) swallowed hard and looking him in the eyes, nodded.

"I still believe there's something good in you."

"Why?"

"I don't know yet," she replied honestly. "And it's killing me. A while ago, I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with you, not even to cross paths, but now, I don't know what's changed, but every time I try to stay away, it's like something brings me back here," she confessed, leaving Jaehyun speechless, who just watched her, trying to decipher everything she was saying.

It was killing him too.

"Let's go to my car," he said.

"Huh?" she asked, confused.

"You want to know more about me, then get in my car," he said again, this time making his way to the parking lot, with (Y/N) behind him, who didn't say a single word, just followed his lead.

What was he doing?

When they reached the car, Jaehyun opened the passenger door, causing (Y/N) to get in without protesting. Then Jaehyun got into the driver's seat and without further ado, started the engine. She didn't know what was happening or what would happen next, but right now she could only trust Jaehyun.

Even though she didn't know how bad an idea that might be.

A few minutes later, as they had traveled a long distance, (Y/N) noticed they were approaching Neo Zone, and with her eyes wide open, she panicked.

"This is me," Jaehyun said out of nowhere, catching the girl's attention. "See all these streets? This is where I belong. This is what I am," he explained carefully.

(Y/N) looked out the window, a couple of people smoking on the sidewalk, others passing joints, and other silent streets. The houses weren't that big... rather, they looked cramped. Unlike what she was used to, to her lifestyle, this didn't seem like it would be enough for a family.

But what did she know with the privilege she had?

"I grew up here, this is what I know," he commented. "Most people are born and die here, it's something that seems to be already written," he continued as his car slowed down. "Those of us from here have a different perspective on life... people from Kwangya lives for the money... we live to survive, and although it's getting harder and harder, we manage to do it," the car finally stopped, and still looking out the window, (Y/N) saw a small house in front of them. One story, not much to describe or point out, it was small but for some reason, it looked cozy.

(Y/N) changed her gaze to Jaehyun, who was still looking ahead and spoke.

"Is this your house?"

Jaehyun nodded.

(Y/N) smiled softly.

"Would you invite me in?"

______________________________________________

He doesn't know how (Y/N) managed to have an effect on him, but now they were there, inside his little house, (Y/N) carefully examining the walls around them and analyzing every aspect of the small space.

He was grateful there were no one at home.

"It looks cozy," (Y/N) said as she looked at one of the frames hanging on the wall.

"I guess it's not even a third of your house," Jaehyun assured to (Y/N).

“And no matter how many people are there, it always feels lonely," she confessed. "It's like no one leaves anything there, like it's something unimportant. As if it's not a home," she finished.

Jaehyun looked at her gently, and as she looked around, thousands of things went through his mind.

"To be honest with you," the girl spoke. "I see more vibes from Jeno in this house than yours," she said. "Many things here seem related to Jeno... but I don't see many things related to you..." she continued. "It's like you don't even think about staying here for long."

"I don't plan on leaving Neo Zone," Jaehyun asserted, crossing his arms.

"Don't you want a different future?"

"There's no future for me," Jaehyun pointed out. "And if there were, I'd prefer to give it to Jeno. He has much more to live for than I do."

"You also have a life to live. A future to write, you can change what is today, for something better," (Y/N) turned around to face the boy.

"I have no way out," the boy replied. "Do you think this is easy? After seeing my dad die and doing everything my bosses ask me to do no matter what. Taking care of my mom, Jeno, and now Winwin? Huh? Making sure Winwin becomes who he was again and that my brother doesn't end up being a fucking addict are enough reasons for me not to leave here," Jaehyun concluded, getting dangerously close to her, with a few centimeters separating them.

The words echoed in her head strongly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't pity me," Jaehyun said under his breath.

"It's not that. It's just that every time I think about all this and now that I see your place and I don't see anything that seems to belong to you, it makes me think that's what you're looking for, to belong to something and leave here as soon as there's an opportunity,"

Jaehyun looked directly at her, not knowing what to say. And afraid to think that maybe she was right.

Because yes, maybe he wanted to get out of there, along with his mom, Jeno, and Winwin; maybe he wanted to do something with his life that wasn't illegal, but what was the point of thinking about it when he knew he wouldn't make it? He was afraid to admit that he wanted to be able to change things, to be able to make his family okay, that no shadow from the past would follow them, that they would have a place where they could forge a clean and safe future.

"This has never been about what I want," Jaehyun commented with a future. "Since I was born, everything around me was the gang. After my father's death, I knew what was coming, and I knew I would never be able to get out of it. It doesn’t matter what I want. It matter what my boss wants, he has that kind of power, no one below him has their own decision. The whole life of Neo Zone is ruled by him," he concluded, even closer to her.

(Y/N) looked him in the eyes, her breath uncontrolled. Her chest heaved, and her hands were sweating.

"What do you want, Jaehyun?" she whispered.

The boy paused for a moment and looked at her lips.

"Now?" he asked, and she nodded. "Would it be unrealistic to say that I want to kiss you?"

"How realistic would it be to say that I want you to do it?

She didn't even finish the question because Jaehyun's lips collided firmly with hers. The boy's long hands slid through (Y/N)'s soft hair, her hair smelling of lavender shampoo. He gently covered her cheek with one of his rough hands, and she melted into the touch.

It wasn't a hurried kiss, as (Y/N) thought it would be; actually, Jaehyun was taking the time to savor every passing second. As if this moment would disappear at any minute and he wanted to hold onto it.

Was he looking for something to belong to?

His hand moved from her cheek to her waist, and she took the opportunity to press her body against his and release a moan of pleasure. As if she felt complete leaning against Jaehyun's warmth.

As if it was something they both longed for for a long time.

And even though she wanted to continue with the act, they were severely interrupted when a car horn sounded incessantly outside the house, causing them to separate with tremendous confusion. (Y/N)'s red cheeks were enough to make Jaehyun's heart race, but when he heard another horn, he took her hand and they walked outside in hurry.

And then, there was Jeno, being thrown out of the back of a car, blood streaming from a cut on his eyebrow, bruises scattered all over his body, and falling firmly to the ground after being thrown.

"I want this to be the last time your brother sets foot in our zone. Next time it won't be him we throw," the familiar voice of a boy from the opposing gang spoke up. Chris. Who was with the window down and smiling maliciously. "Neither will it be you, Jung. It will be the girl who will end up like this,"

Jaehyun moved abruptly from his place to try to reach the car, but it left as fast as it could, (Y/N) shocked to hear those words, didn't do anything more than approach Jeno to help him up. Then Jaehyun cursed under his breath and looked into the distance at the girl and her brother together.

And his chest tightened as he realized that now, she too had been involved.

And he believed there was no turning back, because she was right... Jaehyun wanted to belong to something.

But how selfish would it be to belong to (Y/N)?

a/n: well now you know what happened to Winwin TT. Once again I’m sorry if this took too long I promise I’ll try to update sooner this time!

taglist is open! if you want to be added just lemme know;)

taglist: @spicyryujin @kriizztin @daegalismybiasinnct @peachfulnight @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss @dear-97 @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @hana-off-icial @cigarettesafterjae

[gingerlee-holds]

I feel bad for popping a request in ☠ anyway

If you're feeling up to it, perhaps ler Todoroki x lee Reader (bc me and reader insert are inseparable /j) from MHA? Length, perhaps 900+ words if possible? But I'll be grateful for anything haha, I also don't want to force you to write more if you're not feeling inspired i'm gonna be honest here I haven't watched MHA in a long time ☠ and I have no idea what scenarios would be realistic because he's,, Todoroki,,

Personally i'm a sucker for evil/more intense tickles because I wish I was ticklish but if that makes you uncomfy do feel free to ignore :)

oh hush, you!!! i love requests, so thank you so so much!! i just hope this is somewhat what you wanted heehee- enjoy!!! i have a huge crush on this dork so that creeps in- also the reader's quirk is whatever you want it to be, cuz its not mentioned- also also!! im really really sorry if i fuck the names up cuz from what i know of the show, Todoroki is the family name, so Shoto is the given name but i could be totally wrong

i just wanna say that i really really like writing the rambly bits from Shoto about the book-

the reader is sorta a brat lol

Like Poetry

Words: 2,334 Pairing: Ler!Shoto, Lee!Reader Warnings: lotta fluff!!! not proofread!!!

You groaned as you entered the common room. Mr. Aizawa’s personal training was brutal today, and you were not looking forward to feeling how sore your muscles would be tomorrow morning. Sighing, you grabbed one of Sato’s cupcakes from the counter and flopped onto the sofa, confident it would be unoccupied. It was about seven in the evening on a Friday, which meant everyone was either in their rooms or somewhere around town. 

You huffed into the mattress before gasping at the sound of a page being turned. Looking up, you saw you were about a foot away from, in your mind, the strongest student in your class. He was sitting with perfect posture, reading a book with yellowed pages. On the coffee table sat a mug filled with tea.

Shoto Todoroki didn’t look up from his book at you. If he knew you were there, he didn’t show it. He silently read, seemingly fully absorbed. You sat upright, shaking off the embarrassment of almost landing on him, of all people. 

You cleared your throat and gobbled up your cupcake in one bite, setting the wrapper down next to his tea. Still, he didn’t move. Raising an eyebrow, you poked him in the side to get his attention, and the surprised gasp he gave made you giggle. Shoto looked at you, brow furrowed in annoyance, but his face soon softened when you smiled and waved.

“Hi!” you said chipperly. 

He nodded politely in return. “Hello, Y/N. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you.”

With a chuckle, you shoved his shoulder. “No worries! Whatcha reading, bookworm?”

Shoto tilted his head. “I’m not a worm.”

You sighed and repeated your question without the tease. You loved that your classmate was so adorably literal. 

“I’m reading this book of old poetry. I don’t remember where I got it - it feels like my family’s always had it lying around. I decided to read it today since everyone’s out.” His voice was calm as he spoke.

You were somewhat interested in the subject but mostly just wanted to hear him talk some more. It was so rare that he spoke. “Anything good in there?”

“I found this one that I liked,” Shoto said before flipping back a few pages. “Rain on lemongrass. / Ash trees weep o’er their lost sun: / Their light and love, gone.”

The poem made you hum in thought. “What’s it about?”

“Well, isn’t it obvious?” he asked. Taken on its face, it was an insulting question, but you knew Shoto was genuinely unsure whether to explain it. You shook your head in reply. “The poem is about heartbreak. A woman falls in love with someone, and suddenly, that person has to leave. The woman feels like she has nothing left as she cries into a world that has bigger concerns than her. Soon, perhaps, her love shall return, the sun re-emerging from the clouds, but there’s also the possibility that she doesn’t last until then, and the wind blows her over. Ash trees symbolize grief, so perhaps they may never meet again. The lemongrass, evoking a cheerful memory, is smothered under the rains that hide her beloved.” Suddenly, he looked up from the page. “Sorry, I didn’t realize I was rambling.”

You scratched your head. “How did you get all that from just three lines?” You didn’t mind, of course. He was cute when he rambled. To your great surprise, he let out a soft and sheepish smile. 

“Well, I suppose I have too much time on my hands,” he said, looking away. You smirked and poked his side again, giggling at his surprised reaction. Shoto let out a muffled yelp and jumped, glaring at you suspiciously and rubbing his side. “Quit that.” 

“Sorry, Icy-hot! Can’t be helped!” You held up both your hands in mock surrender.

“Hm,” Shoto mumbled, looking back to the book. “This book was written entirely by hand. See? This character is slightly different here, here, and here,” he continued, pointing at different parts of the page. “And from what I can tell, its publication predates quirks, hence why they are not mentioned. If they had quirks, you would think there’d be a suggestion of their existence, no? Yet there’s nothing. For all intents and purposes, it seems like this book is a remnant of a simpler world.” His expression looked distant as if his mind were a hundred miles and years away. 

You leaned back, folding your arms behind your head. “Sounds dorky. Maybe you should tell Deku! I’m sure he’d be all too interested,” you chuckled, then looked over. If he heard your comment, he gave no sign. He must still be lost in thought. Looking down at his side, you saw it was perfectly exposed. You were pushing your luck. Then again, what is a hero if not someone who tries their luck? You pursed your lips together and quickly extended your hand to poke Shoto’s side again. 

But he was faster. As if expecting your reckless act, he set his book down and grabbed your hand before it made contact in one fluid movement. “You don’t listen, do you?”

“I do my utmost to avoid doing that, yes,” you said, giggling nervously. His grip was firm, giving you no delusions of escape. His hand was chilly, as if Shoto was threatening to encase your whole arm in ice at any moment. You tugged slightly.

He didn’t let go. “No, you need to learn this lesson.” Somehow, that was among the scariest things you’ve ever heard, right alongside the speech of the hero killer and Mr. Aizawa announcing an extra homework assignment before the summer break. Shoto pushed your legs toward the end of the couch, pinning you to his chest with both hands held behind you. You shuddered as Shoto said, “Now, learn well.”

Since both your hands were stuck behind you against his torso, you couldn’t defend yourself whatsoever when he descended both hands onto your stomach. You erupted into bright, bubbly laughter and kicked your feet like that would do anything to help. All that went through your head was repeated, ‘Oh, fuck, that tickles!’ 

You heard Shoto’s hum of approval from behind you as he clawed his fingers over the thin fabric of your shirt. “Interesting,” he mumbled to himself. 

“ShIhihihihIt! ShohOhOHohotoHoHoho!” You shook your head and thrashed all you could, but it didn’t matter. Shoto was stronger, and he would make sure you knew it. 

“Yes, Y/N?” he asked casually.

“STohohoHOAhaap!!” It didn’t have a chance of working, but it didn’t hurt to try.

“No.” Shoto’s clawed hands squeezed around your stomach in circles, taking a moment to dwell on your extra-ticklish lower stomach, which he took delight in exploiting. If you didn’t know any better, you would even say he enjoyed it as much as you were. 

“NohOHoHOhoHT TheheHEherre!” you pleaded helplessly, throwing your head back to give your torturer the best puppy eyes you could… although they were far less effective than you had hoped since they were quickly squeezed shut in uproarious laughter. 

“Here? Right here, yes?” Shoto released a flurry of pokes on your lower stomach as if he wanted confirmation.

You nodded and hiccupped, doing all you could to contain the blush that bloomed on your face at the sound of his cooing hum. Mercifully, he gave you a break, and you panted for breath against him. “Shihihitt…” you giggled, squirming in his grasp to get the ghost tickles off your tummy. 

“Here,” Shoto said, and you turned to see he was holding up his mug for you. Gratefully, you took a big sip of the refreshing tea, smiling a little at the warmth of it. It was strangely sweet; you had expected Shoto to only like the bitter teas, but surprisingly, the flavor was somewhat sugary. As if reading your mind, Shoto said, “It’s chamomile. It helps me relax.” He took the mug from your mouth and set it back on the table. 

Shoto cleared his throat. “Now,” he began, “Have you learned your lesson?”

“Is my release dependent on how I answer that?”

“Yes.”

“Then… Never!” You madly giggled as you attempted to escape his grasp before quickly regretting it. He had you suitably pinned, and to further reinforce his lesson, you realized with terror that he was rolling up your shirt to your ribs. “Wait, Shoto-!”

Your tormentor didn’t give you time to finish. Without fanfare, his hands descended onto your exposed tummy. Instead of clawing around, as he had done before, he was using quick scribbles, which, coupled with his cold fingers on your bare skin, was maddening. 

“SHohOhoHOTO!” You had no idea you were so ticklish! By the looks of things, it seemed like he had been in tickle fights before, and from how badly he was wrecking you, he was used to winning them. 

He hummed in thought as your thrashing weakened. “Your belly button is incredibly ticklish,” he observed. It was, to your dismay, very accurate. It didn’t help that his cold finger was heightening the feeling!

“PLehEHehEHHEase! MeheHEheheercyy!” you squealed out, kicking and bucking like a horse.

“Goodness, you’re dramatic. It’s only tickling, Y/N. If anything, this should build your endurance. What if the League captured you? I doubt you’d last a minute before you spill everything you know if they knew this weakness of yours.”

Why did he have to be so monotone with his teasing? He sounded so casual as if he were still explaining the history of that old book - only he was speaking over your hysterical cackling. He was a fast learner, too: he was pretty adept at locating the spots that got an especially wild reaction out of you and cruel in punishing them.

Shoto’s fingers increased in pace while always keeping one wiggling about in your navel. “I know,” he said, “I get it; you’re very, very ticklish. Now calm down.” You could hear the smile in his voice. He was having fun! “I wonder… you’ve inspired me to write my own poetry! Let’s see…” He paused to think, unfortunately not slowing down the tickles, making you yelp and shriek. “Ticklish cutie / Squealing on the couch with glee / With a cute tummy,” he slowly said as if writing it down. With a gasp, you felt him do just that, writing down the poem on your belly with the tip of his fingernail. 

You turned beet-red as you threw your head back, your laughter turning silent. You had long since begun crying with delight, and tears rolled down your cheeks in rivers, but he didn’t stop until you started coughing. With a chuckle, he released you, and you panted for breath. You didn’t move from his lap, and Shoto didn’t seem to mind. He gently placed a hand on your forehead, tilting it toward him. 

“Are you alright?” he asked gently. You nodded with a smile, which he returned. His smile was inviting, like a sunbeam on a winter’s day. He slowly helped you sit back up and handed you his mug again. You eagerly gulped it down. The tea was warm and sweet, and when you finished it and set it back on the table, you realized that Shoto wasn’t too different. 

“Thank you, Shoto,” you said softly.

“For the tea?”

“Yes,” you replied, “and… for the tickles. It… helped me unwind.” You looked away and rubbed your neck shyly. 

“You’re welcome, Y/N. It was fun for me, too. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh like that.” He smiled again, a small treat like candy. “It’s nice to see you so carefree. You’re usually a ball of nerves,” Shoto admitted bluntly, making you sigh and nod in agreement. 

You basked in the silence for a bit before both of you suddenly looked up. That was the unmistakable sound of… And right on cue, the word ‘mumble’ began to figuratively float across your field of view. At its origin, you and Shoto saw Izuku madly scribbling in his notebook and mumbling about something. You swore you caught the words “ticklish,” “stomach,” and “squeals.” 

Behind Izuku, standing in the hallway, were Ochaco, Denki, Tsuyu, Mina, Eijiro, and Kyoka. The first two desperately attempted to quiet Izuku, to no avail. You sat bolt upright, glaring at the unwelcome audience. 

Eijiro broke the silence with a playful swat to the back of Izuku’s head. “You got us caught with your nerd shit, Deku,” he joked, making the green-haired hero look away backfully. 

“That was adorable!” Mina grinned, pointing at you. “You made a bunch of noise, so we wanted to check it out!” 

“You’d better erase what you wrote, Deku.” You spoke calmly but in a way that gave no misapprehensions about your seriousness. 

Ochaco looked over Izuku’s shoulder. “Doesn’t look like he’s gonna do that.”

“Midoriya,” Shoto spoke up. “Be sure to write that they couldn’t use their quirk while being tickled.”

You gasped at the betrayal. “Don’t you fucking dare write that, Deku!”

With a glance, Denki, Kyoka, and Tsuyu replied simultaneously, “Oh, he’s already writing it.”

With a growl, you shot from the couch. “You’re fucking dead, Deku!” Your classmates yelped with shock and ran down the hall from you, stifling their giggles. 

Eijiro, egging you on, tossed back over his shoulder a snide, “Now you’re sounding like Katsuki!”

“Oh, I’ll make Katsuki look like a fucking bag of pop rocks when I’m done with you idiots!” Your threat carried no heat since it was filled with giggles. You couldn’t help but laugh at the ludicrousness of the situation, smiling fondly at how much you loved your friends.

And behind you, on the couch, Shoto grinned with pride as he picked up his book to continue reading. He was glad he had been allowed to be so affectionate with someone for a chance. Absent-mindedly, he picked up his mug of tea for a sip but sighed disappointingly at the lack of tea inside. Maybe he needed bigger mugs. 

[whumpypepsigal]

so i found a new blorbo CHARLES SUN and…

you would have to sedate me i’m sorry

*feral* the show is so good, excellently paced and well-acted…. plus, it has all the stuff we enjoy the most:

whump, crime family, family drama, daddy issues (MAJOR!), mommy issues (MAJOR!), well-done action sequences, trauma, “protect the family” sense of duty mindset, lots of baking (by my poor blorbo charles as a coping mechanism), sibling issues, oldest son vs youngest son dynamic (- two brothers, who have both spent their lives competing for attention, approval, and freedom; in their own different ways -), conflicted tortured oldest son, did i mention major daddy/mommy issues and PLENTY OF THE GOOD OL’ EMOTIONAL WHUMP.

and oh their troubled mother is played by THEE MICHELLE YEOH !!!!!!! ✨MOTHER✨

ahhhh charles, his father brainwashed him, turned him into a ruthless killer and put him through so much trauma. my man just wants to have a normal life, bake pastries etc and reconnect with his mother and brother. like look at him (HE NEEDS A HUG AND SEVERAL CHURROS)

i am a sucker for this type of genre. 10/10 no notes. HIGHLY RECOMMEND MY FRIENDS, GO WATCH IT 🎉.

[josephquinnswhore]

hello hello hello!! i hope you're having a wonderful day my dearest 💛

i have a dad pedro x pregnant wife reader request if you're taking them?

could you do where like reader is like almost ready to pop with their third child and their first maybe around 8 years old and their second is around 6 years old and reader and pedro finally agree on getting a house and they go house hunting. i'm a big sucker for imaging how it would be to have a family with this man and doing stuff like this with him.

pure fluff and happiness bc my depressed ass needs some happiness 💛💛

-much love my darling 💛💛

Settling In - pedro pascal x female reader

Summary: you and Pedro are hunting for your dream home before your third bundle of joy arrives.

Word Count: 1.7k

Content Warning: pregnancy, mentions of blood, bodily fluids, birth (not detailed.)

Note: I’m sorry this is short I’m sick and my brain hurts lol. Anyways I hope you love this, thank you so much for requesting!!

The grunt that leaves your lips as you roll around on the bed is involuntary, trying to escape the warmth urgently as your baby sits on your bladder, putting more pressure for you to get to the toilet. You ignore the pains in your body as you stand, waddling to the toilet just in time to not lose your bladder on the bathroom tiles.

You thoroughly wash your hands and wipe them on your fleecy pyjamas. A delicious smell wafts from down the hall, your mouth watering with saliva as your stomach grumbles with want. Your steps are heavy as you tread down the hallway, your body slightly rocking side to side as you waddle, your heavily pregnant stomach taking its toll on every inch of your body. Your eldest daughter Maria comes running toward you first, “morning mama, dads making us breakfast. Your favourite too.” You play with her hair as she hugs you, pushing a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear. “Oh did he? Isn’t that sweet.” She rushes to her spot at the table, screeching her chair as she waits patiently for her food. Your second daughter, Andie stays seated, you press a kiss to the top of her head as she swings her legs under the table as she groans in frustration, tired of waiting for her food. “Good morning baby.” She huffs, finally looking at you as Pedro comes over with plates full of food for the girls. “Hi mama.” Pedro serves the girls their food, not wanting to keeping them waiting a minute longer. He sets the rest of the food down for the two of you, stalking towards you with a grin on his face. “What’s got you in a good mood this morning?” You question with mock suspicion. “Can’t I just be happy to see my beautiful wife?” Your cheeks heat at his comment, rolling your eyes as you lean into him. “I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.” He pulls away from the hug, pulling your designated seat away from the table so you can sit. As he sits you fill your plate of your favourite breakfast foods and some fresh fruit. “I do have good news to share baby, you got me.” He throws his hands up and you smile, watching him In encouragement to continue, “I think we’ve found a house. We can go and look today if you’re up for it. Make sure it’s everything you’ve dreamed of.” Your tears start filling with tears, hormones flowing through your body like a tidal wave. “Baby that’s incredible.” His grin widens, “the appointment is for 10:30 this morning. Once the girls are done eating I’ll get them ready, you sit and enjoy your breakfast.”

After 10 long minutes of ruffling through your wardrobe you finally find an outfit that you like, it accentuates your bump beautifully, matching your skin tone. You slip on a pair of vans, not bothering to be too formal today, thinking more about your comfort.

“You look incredible, do you know what?” You giggle and hide your face in your hands, after 10 years of being with Pedro he still had a way of making you feel like a teenager with a crush, “you only tell me a hundred times a day.” Pedro huffs shaking his head, “that’s not enough, make sure to scold me next time.” He jests. “The girls are strapped into the car, you ready to go?” You pat your pockets, phone, wallet, keys. “Good to go.” You confirm.

You try not to laugh as you see the girls dressed in mixed matched clothing, Pedro was never one for caring about kids dressing in super expensive clothing, nor did he care how they dress, he let them dress themselves most days unless it was ridiculously outrageous. Pedro opens the passenger door to his Audi for you, letting you hold his hand as you lower yourself into the leather seat. He presses a kiss to your hand before he shuts the door.

You had seen the house online, no price listed which you would assume means one thing; it’s expensive. The neighbourhood was filled with extravagant houses and perfectly mowed front yards, some with picket fences and gardens full of colourful flourishing flowers. The house had a sign out the front “for sale” in bold orange letters. It took your breath away momentarily, “holy shit.” Pedro only smiled as you watch in awe as he helps the girls out of their seats, opening the doors for them. “Wait here while I help mama out of the car, okay? Stay here.” The girls agreed in a unison of, “okay papa.” Pedro helps you out of the car, holding his hand above your head to make sure you don’t bump it on the door frame. A grunt leaves your lips as you stretch your spine, cracking in a few places before it settles again, earning a big kick from your baby.

“What a beautiful family we have here! You must be,” she checks her notepad for appointments, “Mr Pascal. Pleasure to meet you, I’m Donna.” Pedro nods his head, “this is my wife and our two daughters, Maria and Andie.” The middle age lady greets your daughters kindly, “hi Donna.” Your daughters greet, the ladies short blonde hair rested on the shoulder of her suit jacket. “Hi girls. Why don’t we get started and go inside and I can show you around!” “Perfect!” You cheer. As you walk through the front door you’re in the kitchen, the white granite bench accentuates the kitchen countertop. The kitchen was modern, stylish lights hanging from the ceiling illuminating a bright yellow light. “This kitchen was renovated by the last owners, first of many bonuses that come with the house!” You look around in awe, trying to take in the minute details and imagining yourself cooking meals for Pedro and the kids in this kitchen, smiling to yourself at the thought. “Now just around the corner we have the living room, a spacious area for your beautiful family! A fireplace was also added by previous owners, the perfect addition for the upcoming winter!” The lounge room was fully furnished, the room accentuated with light grey and whites. An artwork catches your eye on the wall, a familiar work “CENTREFOLD” by Kathryn Macnaughton. “The last owner had good taste in art.” Donna laughs, “the last owner painted this artwork.” You turn to her as your mouth gapes open, “wow, that’s incredible.”

The bedrooms are spacious, enough for the girls to have their own and baby when they get old enough. The mast bedroom is huge, the California King Bed sits proudly on its black bedframe, the room furnished and you wonder if it comes with the house. “Does the house come furnished?” Donna smiles widely as she shows you the ensuite bathroom. “It does come fully furnished! You can always discard of or replace the furniture if it’s not to your liking.” You and Pedro share a look “no, it’s perfect, you insist, inspecting the shower, already imagining you and Pedro showering your newborn together.

“Why don’t you go and show the girls the garden out back sweetheart?” The girls cheered at Pedro’s suggestion, “sure,” you gestured the girls out the back, “let’s go and have a look at the pretty flowers outside. See if we can find any butterflies.” The two girls take one hand each and drag you out the door which makes Pedro laugh. It’s beautiful outside, it’s cooling down through the day in transition for winter. The flowers are big and bold, full of nectar which attracts bumblebees and butterflies.

“Look mama a big butterfly!” Your eyes follow Andie’s finger, eyes finding the blue Monarch butterfly that lands on a yellow flower, sucking the nectar and fluttering away all in a matter of seconds. “Look he’s got friends!” Maria yells, running to chase the butterflies that wonder over the fence. “Aw they’re gone.” Maria sighs with disappointment in her voice, “it’s okay baby. We’ll see lots of butterflies if daddy wants this house.” Your hand rests on her head, running your fingers down her dark locks. “Are we going to live her mama?” You shrug, “it’s not up to me baby.”

“Actually, it’s entirely up to you. How do you like it?” Pedro’s voice makes you turn around, a small smile on your face as you see his red cheeks. “I love it baby. It just looks.. expensive.” Pedro frowns, the wrinkles in his face are deepening at his expression. His hand rests on your pregnant stomach, “this is for us, our family. If you want is, it’s ours.” You wipe the tears that collect on your lash line with a laugh, “making me emotional Pedrito. Yes I would love it here, the girls are having so much fun.” The sound of the girls laughter fills the air, the birds singing their songs accompany them. “I was hoping you would say that, because I already bought the house.” Pedro admits sheepishly. You wrap your arms around his neck, your bulging stomach creating a space between you, stopping you from being completely into him. “It’s perfect Pedro, I can’t wait for our baby to be here with us.” He kisses your lips sweetly, “I can’t wait for him to be here either.” You raise your eyebrows, “him?” He shrugs casually, “just got a feeling.”

“It’s a boy!” The midwife declares. Tears are falling down your cheeks as sobs fall through your lips, the small infant is placed on your chest, a beanie on his head and skin still coated in blood and fluid. His loud wailing cries settle as you wrap your arms around him, kissing him on the head. “You’re so perfect.” Pedro is kissing the skin of your sweaty shoulders as the midwife’s clean you up. “Oscar Jose Pascal. Welcome to the world.” Pedro is crying and you wrap him in a blanket, “do you want to hold him?” Pedro’s eyes are red from crying, “please, baby, please.” Pedro was shaking, you sit him down on the chair besides the bed, “take your shirt off, he needs skin to skin contact.” Pedro follows your instruction, holding his son to his chest, learning his head into Oscar’s. “God he’s so perfect. You did incredible baby, I’m so proud of you.” You place your hand on his thigh, rubbing it lovingly, “I can’t wait to get him home. The girls are gonna love him.” Pedro only hums in agreement as he intently listens to his soon coo at his touch. Your family was complete.

[sunshine-and-moonshine]

Cod Monster Au Facts and Snippets

Requested: Yes! [Would love to see more headcanons on ur monster au, if you have anymore to spare ���💖💖]

Warnings: slight angst and mentions of death in Ghost’s, implied mental torture in Alejandro’s

A/N: Enjoy!

Ghost

As mentioned in the previous part, Ghost is a fairly new vampire, turned back around the 50’s or so

He’s not sure exactly WHEN it was for two reasons

1) because of how much time had passed

2) because he spent like twenty or so years in a coffin six feet under after someone found him lying in an alley with his throat ripped out (and the poison takes a WHILE to fully set in)

Digging himself out of that one was…..weird. And disorienting.

Part of him was a bit sad to have probably missed the rest of what was left of his family’s lives with no clue on any of the future generations

But at the same time, he always felt himself a burden, something that brought torment into the lives of everyone he knew

He thinks they’d be better off without him anyways

Until you convince him otherwise

“Tommy had a kid, probably had another one or two after I was gone.” Ghost grumbles quietly, wondering why he let you talk him into this. Whatever sucker cursed with sharing blood with him was probably better off without his interference. But at the same time…..he yearned to know what had become of the rest of his family. To set things right for being forced to leave them behind all those years ago. “He’d be about 80 or so now, I think.”

“That’s a good start.” You tell him, resting your hand on his. With you, he was sure that he could do this. Even if it hurt that everyone he knew, even Tommy’s little baby, were probably gone.

Soap

In love with snout rubs and kisses

But not opposed to belly rubs as well

He takes such pride in his skin, making sure it’s always clean and pristine, shiny and smooth

Once he’s gotten a bit more comfortable with you around his skin, he’ll be begging you to touch it all the time

Might even ask you to wear it (*coughinbedcough*)

Low key curious if there’s a way to turn you into a selkie

If not, he’ll try and find just about anything else to turn you into cause he doesn’t want to live the rest of his very long life without you

Can and will explain selkies in depth to you with little to no prompting

Which leads to him blabbering about his family as well

“I’m the best swimmer in my family!” Soap tells you one evening as you walk together in shallow water on the beach, his smile full of excitement.

“Oh?” You ask, your own smile full of amusement.

“Yeah! My eldest brother, Jack, is the slowest. But my dad is pretty fast. And my sister, Isla, is pretty slow too, but not as slow as Jack. And my littlest brother Luca is almost as fast as me but not quite, and my little brother Harris is almost as fast as him. And my older brother Leo is-” Soap continues, blabbering so fast that the words all seem to blend together. But at least he was happy!

König

BIG AND FUZZY

So so fluffy

Like a big giant reddish-brown cloud

I hope you’re okay with slobber cause once he’s transformed, he’ll be all over you

Licking anywhere he can reach

He’ll also be very whiny if you try to stop cuddle sessions for any reason, even if it’s a necessity like going to the bathroom

It’s all part of his territorial thing, needing you to smell like him

HATES scented soaps and lotions and stuff for this very reason, cause it washes away his scent so much faster

“Seriously?” You asked, your arms crossed over your chest, eyes narrowed.

The giant bipedal wolf in front of you at least had the decency to look a little bit ashamed, surrounded by all the shredded up bottles of scented soaps and shampoos and other washing material. His ears folded back, a low whine rising from his giant maw.

“You’re lucky you’re so cute.” You grumble, making him perk up a bit, a dopey look of joy rising onto his face as his tail starts to wag, slapping against the wall and knocking over various items from the shelves. “…..you’re cleaning that up.”

Alejandro

Alejandro likes to hang out in dreams a lot, even when he’s not making them sexual to feed off of someone

For you, he’ll always make your dreams good (when he’s not making them sexy anyways)

And while usually he doesn’t interfere in the dreams of others, he will not hesitate to give anyone who pisses him off nightmares

This includes people who get close to you

Nobody is safe on the off chance that they’re unkind to you

“Alejandro.”

“Yes, Mi Amor?” He asks, an innocent look on his face. One that means he is certainly not innocent.

“Why is my cousin in a mental hospital spouting about demons in his dreams?” Your brow twitches as you say this and Alejandro can’t help but find it cute.

“I don’t know! Maybe someone thought he was treating his family horribly and deserved to be taken down a notch or two.” Alejandro says, his smile growing mischievous, even when you flick his ear. “Ow.”

[halowishes]

september favs!

a look through my september bookshelf

(yes, they’re all sakuatsu. i have a problem.)

three sheets to the wind

m. 117k. violence/ fighting.

an iconic skts fic. pirates, adventure, found family, and prank wars. the world building is so beautiful and these characters are so lovable. a true treasure to read.

bound

e. 68.1k. mentioned drug/alcohol abuse.

also very popular fic. i felt so. much. when i read this fic. rookie sakusa x child actor atsumu coming back from a hiatus to work on their first gay film. coworkers w benefits (lots and lots of benefits), very real trauma, imperfect characters, and so so so much love.

how to NOT fall in love with your flatmate’s twin

m. 46.7k. mid-time skip.

sakusa and osamu roomies❤️ i love reading the highs and lows of student life, food as a love language, the miya twins, skts getting together and learning how to do ldr. i also MUST mention sakusa learning how to reconnect with his mother because it made me sob like a baby.

different kinds of dysfunctional (series)

t/e. 39.3k (total). 6 works. ongoing.

canon compliant skts getting together. i’m a super big fan of patient and considerate atsumu who doesn’t make any of it a big deal bc he’s just that kind. very much “if he wanted to, he would” energy.

elephant gun

e. 48.4k. mentions on violence.

bodyguard sakusa. need i say more? musician atsumu needs a bodyguard and, of course, they get off on the wrong foot. this slow burn felt soooo good. i miss them.

body language

t. 13.9k. body swap

very minor skts but i NEEDED to mention this. atsumu and oikawa swap bodies and chaos ensues. it was so hilarious, very random, lighthearted, and silly fun!

this time around

e. 30.7k. canon compliant? skts in their late 30s.

i did not know i needed single dad sakusa until it arrived in a silver platter. i’m also such a sucker for exes to lovers bc love can come when you least expect it! also a rare fic where sakusa has a healthy and loving relationship with his family members.

ATSU 101: how to fall in love with your fake boyfriend

m. 110k. college au.

another iconic fic. a burn so slow you wonder if anything will happen but then that confession happens… magic. a very cute fake dating fic full of neck kisses and kindness.

a liar’s truth

e. 49.6k. canon universe.

ANOTHER iconic fic. i feel like anything i say won’t do the fic justice. coming out and internalized (and externalized) homophobia. non-linear storytelling at its finest. very inspiring and genuine and raw.

i am an animal with you

e. 4.6k. pwp.

one of the funniest pwps i’ve ever read. atsumu gets sexiled and sakusa is the only one on the team that can lend him somewhere to sleep. kagehina cameo!

rain on your wedding day

g. 4.6k. wedding fic!

atsumu as a groomzilla who perfected every detail but mother nature had other plans. this fic felt like a celebration of love and marriage and life partners and good friends! also some really funny moments.

big league chew

e. 104k. baseball au.

yes, the universe was amazing, actually made me interested in baseball, and the tension was great. BUT THE EPILOGUE???? i wish i could erase my brain of reading it so i could experience it for the first time again. it made me cry like there was no tomorrow.

the MSBY black jackals take a lie detector test

t. 12.4k. canon compliant.

this felt so on brand for them that i had to remind myself i was reading a fic. the questions fit them so well and i couldn’t get enough of it. very worth the read if you haven’t already.

[zeroclockk]

— ⋆˙⟡ Love Your Feeling || Chapter five

- When JK meets Mom₊˚⊹♡

“Yun, you shouldn’t smoke,” he tries to discuss. “Neither should you, you look stupid,” I tell him,

Pair: jjk x femOC, college students, best friends

Word count: 4.2k

Warning: this chapter includes slight substance use⚠️

masterlist || taglist

!Friends to Lovers, Protective Brother, Secret Dating, Friends with Benefits, Angst, Mature content, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff, Smut, Mentions of Alcoholism and Abuse

——————————————————————₊˚⊹♡

Up, down. Up, down. Up… down… is the pace Jungkook’s chest goes at. It’s one of those moments where you’re mad that you woke up, so you keep your eyes closed in hopes you’ll go back to sleep.

Kinda like wanting to jump back into a dream, but it rarely ever happens unless you’re sleepy enough for it. In 1 out of maybe 10 scenarios you actually are sleepy enough, same goes for this instance.

I feel Jungkook move his arm, the tips of his fingers tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. His fingers fall to my shoulder trailing down before settling his whole hand on my upper arm.

It’s a Sunday, which usually consists of doing groceries and cleaning up the mess at home. So, if I can stretch this afternoon out as long as possible, I will.

I can already predict what awaits me at home; Beer bottles on the floor surrounding the couch, dirty dishes piling up in the sink, a load of dirty underwear and towels peeking out of the laundry basket, and probably a foul smell coming from somewhere you’re unable to locate.

Lost in thought, I eventually get sick of staying in the same position. I open my eyes with a soft groan, seeing there’s a blanket placed over us. That must mean Mingyu has seen us cuddled up on the couch, as he was probably getting his breakfast.

I slowly move my chin up to see Jungkook with his eyes closed, head slightly faltered to the side. My movement doesn’t give him any reaction, which must mean he’s fallen back asleep.

I untangle myself from his grip, careful not to wake him as I tuck him in with the blanket that was once lying over me, repeating Mingyu’s past actions of the day.

My clothes from the night before are still on his bedroom floor, crumpled up into a pile. I debate for a second if I should hop in the shower or not but I just know that if I don’t I’ll feel disgusting for the rest of the day.

Using Jungkook’s shampoo and body wash I now must smell just like him. He’s a sucker for good skincare so -with the little time I have for myself- I use his to wash my face and moisturize it.

Usually, I dry my hair with a hair dryer, it’s the best for the length of my hair. Letting it air dry takes hours and a hair dryer leaves an overall nicer finish. But since Jungkook is still sleeping, I pat my hair down with a towel and leave it at that. Too afraid that the noise will eventually wake him up.

Freshly out of the shower, dressed, moisturized skin, I’m now growing hungry. It’s a nice thank you to Jungkook if I’ll make him breakfast right? I know he likes anything containing literal flour, so that should be an easy task.

Compared to the fridge at home, this one is filled with food and ingredients. Milk and eggs in the refrigerator, flour found somewhere in one of his cabinets I decide to make him pancakes.

It checks off everything from the list; easy, tasty, great breakfast, contains flour. And I really don’t want to sound cocky, but over the years I’ve become a quite good cook. It was either, learning how to cook or living off of plain shin ramyun every single day. It’s the only ramen Yoongi would want to spend his money on, says it’s ‘without a doubt tasty, so it isn’t a waste of money’.

Unfortunately, I don’t know how to make them delicious, Japanese pancakes, like the lovely lady from the cafe does. But I do know how to make delicious crepes. Plus, they don’t require much effort.

Not even the smell of the crepes baking in the pan is enough to wake Jungkook again, which must mean he’s very tired. With his crepe now done baking, I top it with some sugar and lemon juice and place it on the counter.

Mine is now spread out on the pan, waiting to be flipped over. I walk over to the couch, placing a hand on Jungkook’s abs to shake him awake.

“Kook” a loud groan sounds from his throat, eyes sleepy trying to open them fully. “Smells good,” he says closing his eyes again and dropping the back of his head on the armrest ready to fall back to asleep.

“Yours is done already, come on,” that’s enough to get him up apparently, as before I know it he’s in the kitchen in front of his plate.

"What you wanna do today?" he asks me as he takes a bite off of his fork, humming in approval. I flip my crepe in the pan waiting for it to be done. "I need to do groceries and then clean up the apartment," I explain. he gives me a questioning look wondering why I'm the one who cleans at home.

"doesn't Yoongi do anything in the household?" I sprinkle some sugar on my crepe adding a bit of lemon juice before sitting down next to Jungkook. "Well, on rare occasions I guess,"

Jungkook disapproves, tells me that I need to protest by not cleaning anything. As if I havent thought of that. There was this one time I figured it wasn't fair for me to do all the housecleaning, which led to a huge fight between me and Yoongi. He told me he brought in the majority of the money within the household therefore it's only fair for me to do the shopping, cleaning, and cooking. even though I work as well. not as much as him since I still have school, but still I bring money into the household. more than mother ever would

"I'll help you" he then offers. Is he insane? nope, nu-uh. I tell him he's not coming home with me, to which he whines. and we eventually agree on just doing groceries together. Jungkook just has to get changed real quick and we’ll be off.

he changes into a simple white tee and blue baggy jeans, basic but stylish. he grabs his car keys and we make our way to the vehicle.

He drives us to a nearby store, one that I’ve never been to before. I don’t know what’s in the fridge at home if there’s anything really. But over the years I’ve picked up a kind of routine, buying almost the same kinds of things every single time.

Some kind of fruit, a family pack of ramen, eggs, milk, spring onions, a snack, and 2 packs of coke. It reaches just about our weekly budget and feeds us more than enough.

We walk inside of the store, trying to navigate anything that’s in my list. But the prices aren’t the ones that I’m used to, this store is far too overpriced.

I thug at his shirt, lowering my voice so none of the employees will hear me when I tell him I can’t afford it here.

“Uhm, Kook. This is far too expensive,” he looks at me as if I’m crazy, checking the prices for himself. “Where do you go then?”

I tell him it’s better to go to mine and drag him out of the store by his arm, buying nothing.

The one on my side of the city is a family-held business, I know the owners really well. The mother of the business used to be classmates with my mother, she’s always been nice enough to occasionally check up on me.

The products are far cheaper than whatever Jungkook’s store was, pointing out to him how much cheaper it actually is.

I send him off to grab me a pack of shin ramyun as I pick out some fruit, settling for a honeydew melon cause it’s probably one of my favourite fruits.

Gathering everything else and making our way to the cash register, I get greeted by the mother. She asks me how I’m doing and if my mom is okay.

I don’t want to bother her with the details by telling her she’s drunk at home so I just tell her she’s fine and been working hard, even though she doesn’t even have a job at this point.

She’s even so nice to pack the groceries up for me handing me a plastic bag whilst giving me a free bag of crisps.

However, after paying, Jungkook is still caught up in looking at the vitrine behind the counter. “One pack of cigarettes and a lighter please,” he says to her.

I’m certainly taken aback, I didn’t know he smoked. I mean I’ve seen him smoke before at parties but only rarely, never have I seen him buy a pack for himself.

I wait for us to be outside again before asking him about it, waving my mom’s friend goodbye. I load the bag of groceries onto the back seat of his car and want to sit back in the passenger seat but Jungkook just stands in front of the store.

I see him take a cigarette out of the packaging lighting it up between his lips. I stand next to him looking. At the big road that lays behind the parking lot.

“Since when do you smoke?” He raises an eyebrow at me.

“Today apparently,” he answers.

Unsatisfied with his decision, this just only asks for a new addiction. So to protest I hold out my hand, non-verbally asking him for a cigarette myself.

I hear him chuckle and he shakes his head. “No way Nayun,” he says with a big grin on his face. I try to force my hand in his pocket to just grab it but he’s stronger than me and pulls me away, telling me off.

With a big pout on my face, I decide this is unfair storming back into the store and getting another pair; a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Do I have the money for it? Not really but sure, I’ll survive, financially that is.

So now I’m standing next to him, smoking my own cigarette.

“Yun, you shouldn’t smoke,” he tries to discuss.

“Neither should you,” I look at him blowing the stupid cigarette smoke out of his lungs, it looks damn hot I’m afraid to admit.

“You look stupid,” I tell him, even though he doesn’t. Cigarettes taste like shit, I should invest in one of them stupid-looking disco vapes.

He just chuckles at my remark and stays silent until we’ve both completely smoked up the cigarette.

“C'mon, I should really get home,” I nudge at him back to the car. The drive is literally 3 minutes, I usually walk this route.

I thank him for driving me but as I slam the door shut, the car turns off and Jungkook gets out too.

“What are you doing?” I ask him with a nervous chuckle. “Helping you out?”

I told him off on helping me to clean up already but he seemed determined, though he could also just mean walking me to my door. That’s just stupid, he always just dropped me off at a bus stop so why would he walk me all the way to my door now? You can see my door from the car so it’s just stupid to do that.

“What do you mean helping me out?..” I frown at him in confusion.

“Yun I don’t care what you say, I’m helping you clean,” he says as he walks towards the stairwell. I try my best to stop him, yelling after him in protest whilst running behind him like an idiot.

Though he really stands his ground, doesn’t let my protests stop him from getting to my house. The first time he’s here, in our long seven or eight-year friendship. I decide to just give in, cause I can’t just stand outside all day.

As I open the front door, the first thing you’ll see is the bathroom door. It’s not big enough to conceal the sight of the living room next to it. You can see everything as soon as you open it; living room in front, kitchen to your left, bedroom door wide open.

Mom still hasn’t come back, as for Yoongi I wouldn’t know. Yoongi usually leaves early in the mornings and comes back home late in the evening or night, I’ve learned to stop worrying about it. most of the time he spends it with his friends, Seokjin and Namjoon, sometimes even Hoseok, doing god knows what.

Having my house on display like this is vulnerable there are absolutely no filters you can put on it. No fake smiles, no ‘it’s fine’, there are no excuses when it’s like this.

And it’s truly shocking how bad it can get in a week’s worth. The couch is empty aside from the empty take-out box, Dad’s blanket, and some beer cans.

I look at Jungkook trying to see what his reaction is, but it’s fairly normal. I can see the slightest bit of shock on his face, his forehead creased a little. But it’s quick to soften up as he notices me swinging my head around, acting as if it’s the most normal case in the world.

“Welcome home I guess,” I say nervously.

He doesn’t say anything and takes his shoes off after me following right behind me into my house. I set the bag of groceries down on the kitchen counter, unpacking it and crumbling the plastic bag to go into a bigger plastic bag that’s stored in one of our cabinets.

“Are there supposed to be shards of glass on the ground?” I look back at him to see he’s standing by the window, next to the couch where a bottle had smashed during a fight between Yoongi and Mom.

“Oh yeah no I haven’t had time to clean it yet,” I explain.

It leaves him with a bunch of questions; what happened? Why is there a smashed bottle on the ground? Did you hurt anyone? Did you get hurt? But he just leaves it be and doesn’t question it any further.

“What can I do?” He asks me. I wouldn’t want to bother him with a hard task, because he’s a guest and of course he doesn’t know where anything is here.

I look around the room to see what he can do, spotting the beer crate in the corner of the kitchen and the bottles gathered around the couch and coffee table. I think it’s the perfect job for him to do just that, not too difficult for a guest and it’ll keep him busy for a little to stop complaining.

I hand him the crate and tell him to put the bottles In there as I focus on doing the dishes.

I tell him to look good for any lost bottles until the crate is completely filled up with them and to then put them out in the hall.

Luckily there aren’t many dishes, mainly bowls and chopsticks stacked up in the sink. So when Jungkook has put the crate outside I’m already done with washing all of them.

Now there are two things left to do; taking out the garbage and doing the laundry. None of these tasks seem appropriate for Jungkook to do, I don’t want to bother him and he doesn’t want me to be bothered by doing these tasks on my own.

He pushes me onto doing the laundry, he’s gonna take care of the garbage. The laundry room is opposite the bathroom right next to my bedroom, completely closed off from the kitchen.

It takes me some time as I put some clothes in the dryer the other day and hadn’t had the time to fold them yet, so that’s included in today’s task. Taking the dirty laundry baskets out of the bathroom, my room, and Yoongi’s and turning on the washer to do a quick dark wash.

Would’ve been embarrassing to let Jungkook fold the laundry, worse, load the washer. There’s lingerie in here that I wouldn’t want him to see, no matter the fact that he’s seen parts of me that even my best girlfriends haven’t.

Since it’s only clothing of Yoongi and I, only rarely ever mom’s clothing. It doesn’t take me an awful long time to fold everything separating the clothes into two piles, one for Yoongi and one for me. Putting both of them on our beds.

The doorbell then rings, I’m not expecting anyone. Mom doesn’t ring the doorbell, neither does Yoongi. Jungkook is quick to open the door before I’m able to reach the living room, I immediately notice how neat it is. It doesn’t surprise me completely, Jungkook’s apartment is always spotless and super tidy. I have no idea how he was able to do it here in the little amount of time that I was gone.

Not a single piece of rubbish that’s lying around or a bad odour lingering somewhere, not even a speck of dust that’s able to be found at the moment.

Jungkook doesn’t take long at the door, greets the person on the other side, and receives a package from them. None of us ever order anything so it must be the wrong address, though Jungkook seems sure of it and places the box on the coffee table.

“Dinner!” He chimes, utensils already set on the coffee table.

He ordered a large box of fried chicken, one of those luxurious ones where they dress it up all nicely and stuff. I don’t think I can remember the last time we had takeout, probably at Jia’s house or something. Certainly not with my family, Yoongi will always say it’s too expensive.

“Are you insane?!” I yell at him. He’s being far too generous, cleaning up for me and ordering me dinner?

There are certainly four different flavours, sweet and spicy, extra crispy, honey butter, and soy garlic. I don’t know if we’ll be able to finish all of it.

I turn on the TV to watch something, nothing that’s on cable really catches my attention. And neither does Jungkook so I pout at him begging him a little to log into his Netflix account, it receives a little chuckle from him as he takes the remote out of my hand logging into the account.

He lets me choose whatever I want, and suddenly in the mood to rewatch Alice in Borderland. And even though he has seen it already, he attentively watches the show with his cheeks full of chicken.

We make it about 1/3 through the box before I’m already full, Jungkook’s appetite lays a little higher than mine, and continues eating a bit more than me but it doesn’t take him long to sigh at the fullness of his stomach as well.

I take a sip of my soda and hear the front door open, both Yoongi and Mom walking inside. She doesn’t look good, eye bags that are darker than my hair, hair all messy I swear there’s leaves in them. Yoongi looks tired too, in a different way than Mom though. Yoongi just looks sleepy as for Mom she looks sleep-deprived and lifeless.

Jungkook stands up from the ground immediately, bowing to greet my mother and Yoongi politely. He has never actually met my mother, he’s heard about her a hundred thousand times but never actually met her.

She tries her best to cheer up at the sight of jungkook, telling him how glad she is to finally meet him and how handsome he is. She quite literally squeezes his bicep and praises him for how strong he is. Shes acting like a fool, as if she’s a teenager again. It also doesn’t help that she doesn’t stop drinking, even if she’s already drunk.

Yoongi and Mom settle around the coffee table nibbling away on the chicken whilst Mom asks Jungkook a bunch of questions, asking about his parents and how he grew up and whatnot. Yoongi and I just stay silent, heads down.

It makes me sad seeing how much effort she’s putting into getting to know Jungkook, she never cares to ask anything about us. Whenever we leave the house for days, she doesn’t care. Whenever someone comes back injured or crying, she doesn’t bat an eye.

It just hurts knowing you’re the problem. Whenever she acts careless I’ll just brush it off as something she does, but seeing her act like this just puts a stamp on us being the problem.

It takes her a whole one-hour conversation to doze off, Yoongi drags her to the couch lying her down on it and she’s out like a light.

It’s nearly 9 pm now so Jungkook thinks it’s better to be off. Yoongi thanks him for the food and apologises for our mother’s behaviour, leaving me to walk Jungkook back to his car.

“Thank you so much for helping me out today, it means a lot,” I say as we’re standing beside his car.

“It’s no problem, it was nice to meet your mom. And of course, see where you live for once,” he adds.

“I guess I was always a little embarrassed about it but… I know I can trust you,”

He takes a step closer to me tugging me into a warm embrace.

“No need to be embarrassed about anything okay?” He says. I nod against his cheesy hugging his waist tightly saying our goodbyes.

I can’t hug him too long in case Yoongi might see and suspect things that aren’t there. He seems to be in a calm mood, I wouldn’t want to blow that up right now.

And then Jungkook drives off. It’s awfully quiet out, it’s almost dark leaving the air in an awkward grey color.

I release a big sigh before making my way back up to the apartment, where Yoongi is cleaning up the mess that was left behind at our dinner party.

“Where’d you find her?” I ask him, referencing him coming home with Mom.

“Found her on a bench somewhere near the city,” he explains. There’s no emotion behind it, the same goes for me. It doesn’t sound sad, angry, annoyed, happy or cold. Just, normal.

“I’m really sorry about what happened,” his voice changes, it sounds genuine and apologetic.

“I shouldn’t have said any of that,” he holds his head down whilst I’m trying to stay neutral before I break down in tears again.

But Yoongi doesn’t really go in on it any further, doesn’t talk about Dad or repeat anything that he shouted at me in the convenience store.

Instead, he tells me to wait as he disappears into his room, coming out with a rectangular box that’s wrapped in pink paper with a little bow in it.

“Here, I got you something,” he held it out for me to accept.

I take the package in hand unwrapping it eagerly, revealing the corner of a white box, and until it’s fully unwrapped I see he’s gifted me an iPhone. An iPhone 14 Pro Max to be exact.

I stutter in response, “What? Are you serious?”

A big grin appears on his face, proud of having such a reaction to his gift.

“This is far too expensive, are you crazy!?” I exclaim.

“I saved up, you deserved it. I smashed the other one anyways,” he acts nonchalant as if it’s nothing. I hug him tightly, still in complete unbelief.

“Thank you Yoongi,” I say as he gives me a small tight tight-lipped smile, he tells me to be careful with it and most of all enjoy it before he’s about to disappear into his room.

I remember seeing Dad yesterday and I should probably talk to him about it, it’s his dad too after all.

“Wait Yoongi,” I hesitate.

He turns around on his feet eyebrows raised a little, intently listening to whatever I have to say.

“I ran into Dad yesterday…” I can see his face drop instantly bombarding me with questions.

He’s worried, I can tell that whatever he said yesterday fades away just like that. He’s a softie deep inside.

I explained to him that I saw him in the elevator and that Jungkook saved me just in time, switching up the names cause I wouldn’t want to cause any more trouble.

“It hurts me too… I know you hate him and that you’re hurt, but I’m the person who had to live through all of it,” I sob softly.

He shushes me pulling me into a long hug, keeping me safe from anything and everything. “Be careful next time you go to Jungkook’s apartment okay, you don’t know what he’s capable of,”

“And call me if you see him, I promise I won’t lash out on you anymore,”

My tears are coming to a stop, leaving out water less and less. He asks me if he can do anything for me which I decline and then he really disappears into his room, wishing me a good night.

I feel so relieved. Things with Yoongi are good, Jungkook isn't embarrassed by me I think and I have a new freaking phone. It was time for an upgrade to be fair.

But I’ll set that up tomorrow, I’ll just watch a show and go to sleep cause I think I deserve some rest after everything that has been happening.

prev | next

[iprobablyshipit91]

All That Matters

Genre: angst / romance / mutual pining / fluff

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: A few swears, mentions of torture, injuries, starvation and malnourishment

Written for: Dean’s Rootin’ Tootin’ Rodeo posted by @chocolatecakecas

SPN Masterlist

I’m back again as how could I not try and write something for this beautiful man’s birthday. It’s probably a bit more depressing than I intended but at least it’s happier at the end, promise! I’m a sucker for Protective!Dean 💕

It was 4am and you couldn’t stop pacing. You’d been at it for hours, back and forth across your room, practically carving a path in the unforgiving, cold concrete floor as your anxiety continued to bubble up inside you.

In your head a furious debate continued to rage as you take another glance at the door. You shake out your hands and screw your eyes shut as you desperately try to calm your breathing. In through your nose and out through your mouth. You know in your heart where you long to be. There’s only one damn place you feel safe anymore. The question is, will you go?

To say the last few months had been hard was the understatement of the century. You’d been on your own for the last year or so, since your surrogate father, Bobby, had been killed by Dick Roman. You could handle a gun and throw a punch, but really your skills were in helping out hunters where you could, studying lore and answering the phones and so you threw yourself into it whole heartedly to fill the gaping chasm in your chest. Of course, this also meant helping the Winchester boys.

You loved those boys like family. You’d grown up together when John had left them with Bobby for weeks at a time. These were the memories you looked back on most fondly. Running around with Sam, Dean joining you when he wasn’t pretending to be too cool for your childish games. The years had passed swiftly until one summer the boys came back and Dean seemed so different. He’d grown taller and filled out, and how could you have never noticed how green those eyes of his were? It was the biggest cliché and yet you fell hopelessly for him that summer. Sam rolled his eyes in disgust but swore diligently to never tell Dean your secret. And then just like that, they were gone again.

It wasn’t until many years later that the boys finally returned. Searching for their father and hunting anything that stood in their path. You helped them with Bobby, but damn it if your heart still didn’t melt at the mere sight of the eldest Winchester.

That was before.

You felt different now. You still loved Dean, how could you not? Your love for him had only grown over the years. However, you were skittish now and just felt so damn tired all the time. Your personality muted into a shadow of what it once was, content to sit and observe your surroundings rather than be the soul of the party as you had once been. Dean knew why. Sam knew why. Hell, everyone knew why and even though everyone told the brothers constantly that it wasn’t their fault, they couldn’t help but shoulder the responsibility. It was the Winchester way after all. It was them the demons were after when they kidnapped you in the dead of night and it was the bunkers location you’d been tortured for weeks for. Until the boys had finally found you, half starved, bruised and bloody, and rescued you.

The road to recovery had been hard. Cas had immediately healed your physical injury’s with a single touch once you were back in the bunker, but you knew it was the mental scars that were going to take the most healing. Flashes of the torture you’d endured haunting you at any given moment and you’d yet to manage more than a few hours sleep without a nightmare. You were still severely malnourished and had only just managed to start eating more than a few mouthfuls at a time.

After spending a week and a half in the bunker recovering under the boys watchful gazes you had gathered your few things together and made your way to the War Room, ready to say your goodbyes, determined not to out stay your welcome. Sure, you would miss the wonderful home cook meals Dean had been constantly preparing, despite you eating very little of them, and the way Dean had held you through the nightmares that had plagued you in those first nights. Waking up screaming until your throat was hoarse.

The look of identical incredulity on their faces when you told them you were heading home had almost been comical. After much debate Dean had simply taken your bags from you and marched you back to your room, insisting that you were staying with them at least until you were fully recovered and then they would talk more. Damn that Winchester guilt, you hated feeling like a burden. It didn’t take a genius to realise that the Winchesters had only invited you to live with them because they felt bad about it all, and you didn’t want to make that any worse. The tiniest part of you couldn’t help to feel relieved though, not really wanting to be alone anymore.

This brought you back to the present. Still marching across your room back and forth as the pent up anxiety slowly built until you felt like you were drowning. Before you’d really even made the conscious decision you were silently slipping out of your room and down the hall to Dean’s room. 

You knocked on his door once and heard nothing. After one more try with no response you simply opened up the door and asked, “Dean? Are you awake?” 

Before you had time to blink Dean was sat upright in bed, his gun trained on you. Somehow you didn’t even flinch, a part of you expecting this reaction and despite your recent trauma your brain just knew that this was Dean Winchester and he wouldn’t hurt you. You swallowed thickly and watched as he blinked hard, the sleep clearing from his eyes.

“Oh shit, Y/n, I’m so sorry,” the gun was gone in an instant and he was crossing the room to you in an old tee and jogger shorts. He gripped your shoulders quickly, eyes filled with remorse as they scanned over you. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? What are you doing here?”

The questions came far too rapidly for you to keep up with but Dean seemed to realise quickly there was no physical injuries but you still held yourself tense in his arms. Your mouth opened and closed wordlessly as you looked up at him, tears brimming in your eyes. It was as if your throat was closing up. Your hands twitched a bit– you just desperately wanted him to hold you right now. To remind you that you weren’t alone. “Can I sleep in here with you?” 

“You come to my room and wake me up at God knows what time to cuddle?” Dean asked, a faint amusement colouring his tone now he could see you were physically fine. His eyes adjusted to the dim light and saw how distressed you looked. Very quickly he wrapped his arm around your back and pulled you back to bed with him. Without thinking you firmly tucked your head into his chest and breathed a sigh of relief as his arms wrapped around you and he started rubbed circles into your back. You gripped his shirt tightly in your fists. “It feels like I forgot how to breath...”

“You’re going to be okay.” he spoke softly, his deep voice rumbling in his chest beneath you. Very slowly he took in the sensation of you relaxing underneath his touch. “You’ve got me and Sam. Lots of people who love you and are going to make sure that you’re safe. Always. We’ll take care of you.” 

You could feel your mind stumbling and sticking onto one of the things that he said, “Love me?” 

Dean sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. This wasn’t the time to get into that specifically, he thought. The morning, when you finally got some sleep would be better. “Yeah, Sweetheart. Family who love you.” 

Your heart skipped at his statement. How could he still not know how you felt?

Sam did though. He could see the torch you held for his brother as clear as if it was a beacon lighting up the night sky. You felt his watchful gaze on you as you gravitated towards his brother for comfort without thought. Needing him to be close to just make it through the god damn day.

You shifted just enough to nuzzle into his neck. “I love my family too.” He stiffened just a bit under your touch, and you felt Dean let out a very shaky breath. There was more you wanted to talk about, more you wanted to say, but you finally felt so warm and safe that you couldn’t be bothered to worry more about it. 

You were surrounded by warmth and Dean’s scent– that gunpowder, leather and oil combination that just made you feel like home. His arms felt nice and sturdy around you, and it was impossible not to become completely relaxed in them. 

Dean laid there debating with himself whether to push the subject– but the second he finally got his mouth open to speak he heard your breathing even out. 

You’d fallen asleep. 

Tomorrow. 

You woke up slowly and found yourself in a very different position than when you’d fallen asleep. Half of Dean’s weight was now on top of you as you laid on your back. Apparently both of you tossed and turned while you slept.

With a groan you patted Dean’s cheek a few times to wake him up, only resulting in him nuzzling into your collarbone more, his breath tickling your skin. “Stop waking me up, woman.” 

“It’s almost lunch, Dean.” You paused before adding, “You’re also using my chest as a pillow.” 

Immediately he sat up from on top of you, his face tinged pink. “Sorry about that Sweetheart” 

You snickered and rubbed your eyes as you slowly sat up in bed as well. “It’s alright. We were both asleep.” It was impossible to keep from laughing a little more, as you realised just how bad his bedhead was. Without thinking you reached out and began to fuss with a bit that was really stuck up. “Is this why you spend so much time messing with your hair, Dean?”

“You’re awful sassy to the guy who shared his bed with you last night.” 

“Mmm, well you ought to be used to my sass by now Winchester.” you slowly lowered your hand when you noticed his tongue flick over his lips, your stomach doing flips and your heart rate picking up. “Thank you though. I didn’t want to–” 

Dean watched as your lips pursed into a thin line, “Didn’t want to what?”

“Look, I know why you two asked me here. I know it’s because you think it’s your fault what happened to me. I don’t want to mess things up for you two more. I hate to be a liability.”

His blood boiled a bit at your words. “We asked you here because you’re our friend, who got hurt protecting us. We worry about you.”

You tried to protest again but he shook his head, “No. You went through something horrific Y/n. You’re still barely touching any food and you’re quiet now, you don’t sleep well! We wanted to make sure you’d be taken care of. That’s why you’re here. Because you took care of us, and now we’re taking care of you.”

Dean sucked in a breath, the rest of his speech dying down in his mouth as he looked at you. He’d had it all planned last night and yet when he looked at you with the dark circles and bags underneath your eyes he hesitated. Not because of you, but because of himself. So what that you still weren’t lit up like you were before Bobby died. You were the woman he loved, the woman he’d gladly die for. But he was poison, hadn’t your recent brush of death confirmed that? Once Dean Winchester decided he loved someone it was as good as placing a target on their back and signing their death warrant. And yet Sam’s words came floating back to him. You love her and you know she feels the same. Life’s too short, Dean. Seize the moment and be happy. Could he really dare to hope that you loved him back. 

“Do you want to kiss as badly as I do right now?” 

Your eyes went wide as your face snapped up to look at him, “What?” Your brain was reeling, not sure how he’d changed the subject without you knowing.

Dean blushed again, “I’m sorry, god. You don’t… that was terrible. I shouldn’t have asked that. God damn it that’s not a good thing to ask–” you weren’t in a good place, and pushing you about that or asking you things like that could result in you making a choice you weren’t later happy with and Dean didn’t want to do that to you. “I’m sorry. Don’t–”

Very gently, you reached out and cupped Deans cheek. Your eyes fluttered shut as you leaned in, and you felt Deans hands on your shoulders so softly that you wondered if he was scared of hurting you. 

His lips were soft and warm, and the kiss you shared was sweet and chaste. Before everything that had happened you’d day dream about something far more passionate that would have ended in someone getting pinned against something but now it was just good to feel something so gentle. 

When you parted you were greeted with a fretful looking Dean, “You don’t have to do this.” 

“I want to.” you snickered just a bit, “We’re adults you know– it’s not like when we were twelve and kissing was the most crazy thing you could do with someone.” 

He smiled and then nuzzled into your neck and breathed in your scent. “I love you, you know.” 

“I love you too.” your hands once more went to his hair and played with the strands as you thought about his words, “But you already knew that didn’t you?” 

“I hoped. Wished I’d have said something before.” 

To that you shrugged– there were so many possibilities missed that you didn’t see the point in counting them all. “We’ve got it out now. That’s all that matters.” 

[justabigassnerd]

Hangman Junior

Pairing - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x daughter!reader

Word count - 2,212

Warnings - swearing, angst (it's me, what do you expect?), mentions of death, alcohol, mentions of Hangman having shitty parents

Summary - Before training begins for the uranium mission, Dagger Squad meets Hangman's teenage daughter. And she's a carbon copy of her father

A/N - another request lads! This was a fun one to explore and write! We all know I'm a sucker for Hangman so anything I get to write for him is fun! I'll stop rambling now but as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!

When those called back to Top Gun walked through the doors of the Hard Deck and saw Hangman leant against the pool table, chatting with Coyote their hearts sank slightly. Those who trained with Hangman knew how he flew and how he’d leave his wingmen behind in a heartbeat. Those who hadn’t just knew of his reputation to leave people behind but also that he’s one of the only naval aviators on active duty with a confirmed air-to-air kill which earned him a slither of their respect.

What all those naval aviators didn’t know, except for Coyote, was that Jake Seresin had a teenage daughter who was relying on him to come home every time he went away. He knew it was selfish of him, to leave others behind knowing they had loved ones too, but he needed to make it back to you every time because you had no other family.

He had always had a rocky relationship with his parents growing up, feeling pressured to be the ‘perfect’ son who would take over the family ranch when the Navy had always been his dream. He ended up getting a high school girlfriend pregnant halfway through their senior year which really tipped his parents over the edge. He was forced to move out and found a cheap apartment he could rent with his girlfriend so they could live somewhat comfortably until the baby was born. The day his daughter was born was the best day of his life, miles high above days like graduating from the academy or coming first in his class at Top Gun. However, one day, not long before Jake was due to head out to the naval academy for his basic training. He woke up to find his girlfriend gone, leaving behind nothing more than a note stating that she was sorry, that she didn’t want that kind of life and had left you in his care ever since.

“How’s the kid, Hangman?” Coyote asked as the two played pool and Hangman’s eyes flicked up to where the rest of the team were conversing amongst themselves, not listening to what Coyote said.

“She’s doing good. You can come over tomorrow if you want. I’m sure she’d be thrilled to see her favourite uncle is also in town.” Hangman says with a smirk as Coyote rolls his eyes jokingly. Since Hangman and Coyote had become friends when you were little, you had taken to calling Coyote your ‘Uncle Javy’ and it simply never dropped as you grew into your teens.

“I’m her only uncle she better be happy to see me.” Coyote responds, his tone teasing as he takes his next shot at the pool table. Coyote would never admit it to anyone, but he secretly loved that you considered him an uncle. It meant he was a trusted person in both your and Hangman’s lives. It also somewhat reassured Jake that there would be someone to look out for you if something were to happen to him. Just as Hangman went to reply to his friend, he caught a glimpse of a familiar Hawaiian shirt which brought a grin to his face.

“Bradshaw. As I live and breathe.” He calls out to the taller pilot, straightening up from where he’d been lining up his next shot.

“Hangman. You look… good.” Rooster replies, barely glancing Hangman’s way as he speaks. The two had a rivalry when they went through Top Gun together. Both were competitors for the top spot but had vastly different flying styles. Rooster was careful, he stuck to the book and would overthink what he was doing. Hangman was fast and would always strike first and ask questions later.

“I am good, Rooster. I am very good. In fact, I am too good to be true.” Hangman gloats as he approaches his rival. The two bicker back and forth before Jake decides to get himself another beer from the bar. He returns to the group of aviators and goes back to talking with Coyote. Eventually, the scattered groups all come together to ask if anyone knows who’s going to be training them for the missions considering every pilot who has been called back is the best of the best. They debated for a while before Coyote leaned close to Hangman’s ear.

“What’s y/n doing here?” He asks, making Hangman immediately scan the bar before he saw you approaching with a cheeky smile on your face. Hangman clenched his jaw slightly and moved to meet you in the middle.

“y/n, what are you doing here?” Hangman asked the second he reached you, trying not to let his annoyance show.

“Hello to you too, dad.” You say, rolling your eyes. Behind the two of you, the naval aviators heard you and started whispering amongst themselves, confused as to what the hell was going on.

“You can’t be in a bar. You’re too young.” Hangman scolds, staring down at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I can be in this bar. Penny said so.” You retort, folding your arms across your chest as you remember the day Penny first found out that Jake was a single father and said you were welcome to come in the bar as long as you stuck with your dad and didn’t cause trouble.

“You’re a pain in my ass. You know that, right?” Hangman laughs as he shakes his head.

“Yet you still love me.” You grin, moving to walk past your dad when you notice Coyote.

“That I do.” He mutters to himself when you reach Coyote, allowing him to pull you into a hug as your dad watches on with a soft smile before moving to join the two of you.

“Hey y/n/n.” Coyote greets you happily as he releases you from the hug.

“Hi, Uncle Javy.” You reply with a smile as you step back.

“Dad? Uncle Javy? Is anyone going to explain this to us?” You turn around to see a man with a moustache in a Hawaiian shirt glancing between the three of you with a confused expression.

“Was the fact I’m calling him dad not obvious enough for you, Rooster?” You retort, watching Rooster’s face shift to a face of shock while your dad bites back a laugh beside you.

“How did you-”

“Dad could never stop talking about you when the two of you were in Top Gun. He was even talking about the chances of seeing you before he left the house earlier. It’s also easy to put a face to the name when dad’s mentioned things like you always wearing Hawaiian shirts.” You shrug after finishing your explanation. You hear Coyote snigger beside you which makes you smile.

“Oh, she’s definitely Hangman’s kid.” You look over at the brown-haired woman who said that, and you nod proudly.

“That I am.” You say as your dad wraps an arm around your shoulders and tugs you into his side.

“And with that, let’s stop bothering my kid.” Hangman says, a glimmer of protectiveness rising within him. He glances between his new teammates and sees that they’re itching to ask questions.

“y/n, why don’t you head on home?” He asks you, looking down at you.

“No. I’m happy to hang out here. It’s kind of depressing sitting alone in an empty house.” You say, making Hangman’s face soften. The team watched curiously, having never seen any softness come from this man before. They could only assume this was Jake Seresin and not Hangman. He was your dad before he was Hangman so his priorities would always be you.

“Okay fine. But you’re to always stay in mine or Javy’s line of sight. Got it?” He says, a slight sternness sneaking into his tone.

“You got it, dad.” You reply, earning a nod from your dad as he returns to his pool game while you find somewhere nearby to sit. You were quickly approached by some of your dads’ new teammates, all gagging to know more about you and your dad. You listened to all their questions and gave them answers. You had to admit that these new teammates were nice, and they seemed like people you could trust to make sure your dad came home during this secret mission. Even Rooster seemed like a nice enough guy despite your dad doing nothing but bitch about him when they went through Top Gun. You enjoyed getting to know his teammates, and they could keep up with your sass quite easily, with Phoenix saying you were a nicer version of Hangman.

“I’m calling it now. y/n is now a part of our team from here on out.” Fanboy says, slinging an arm around your shoulder and jostling you as you laugh.

“Guys, can you promise me something?” You say once the laughter dies down. The mood suddenly becoming serious at your words.

“What is it?” Bob asks, placing his cup down on the table as all eyes are on you. You glance over at where your dad and Javy are still playing pool, chatting to each other happily.

“Promise me that you’ll make sure my dad comes home. Uncle Javy too. They’re the only family I have, and I can’t lose them.” You admit, eyes lowering to stare at the floor of the Hard Deck. The naval aviators exchange looks with each other. They had all only known Hangman, the cocky naval aviator who would ditch his wingmen in a heartbeat and they weren’t keen on that. But now they had met you and discovered a new side of him that they had never seen before, and they were all willing to make this work with him for your sake. But they also knew they couldn’t make a promise like that. With a mission so secret that they hadn’t even been given the brief for yet was only flashing warning signs to them about how dangerous this mission could be.

“We promise we’ll do our best to bring them home to you.” Rooster was the first to speak up. He knew the pain of losing a parent and he’d be damned if he let you go through the same thing. He was more than willing to put his rivalry with Hangman to the side for you. He could only hope that Hangman would extend the same courtesy to him. You shifted your gaze to Rooster as he spoke, a small appreciative smile on your face at his words. You knew it was a big ask but you decided it was worth the risk.

“Thank you, Rooster. You know, you’re not as bad as dad made you out to be.” You say, your smile growing when Rooster rolls his eyes at your words.

“And you’re not as bad as I thought you’d be Hangman junior.” He replies, making you scoff jokingly, easing the tension that had just been created. You continue to chat with the team, laughing as your dad, Javy and Payback chucked some random guy out of the bar when the bell rang, even joining in when Rooster began to play ‘Great Balls of Fire’. As it began to get later, your dad approached where you were sitting and rested a hand on your shoulder.

“Come on y/n/n. We should think about heading home. You’ve got school and I’ve got an early start tomorrow.” Your dad says, making you groan but still get to your feet, bidding everyone goodbye before following your dad out to his truck.

“I like your team. They seem nice.” You say with a smile as you get settled in your seat, plugging in your seatbelt.

“Even Bradshaw?” Jake replies with a raised eyebrow as he starts the engine.

“Yes, even Rooster. They’re much nicer than your last team. Those guys were dickheads.”

“Hey, what have I been saying about language?” You roll your eyes at the light scolding, uttering a quiet and insincere apology as you settle back in your seat as you begin the journey back to your house.

Back in the Hard Deck, the team had watched both you and Hangman leave the bar and the second they saw the two of you leave their line of sight they fell into discussions once more about how they couldn’t believe Hangman had a daughter, except Coyote who just watched and laughed.

“Guess we’re all watching out for Hangman on this mission then, huh?” Payback says, leaning back in his chair as he sips from his beer bottle.

“For the kid's sake.” Rooster swoops in quickly, drawing the line about why they were doing this in the first place.

“Oh, sure Rooster. I bet this has nothing to do with the obvious crush you have on Hangman.” Coyote teases, making Rooster’s face flush deep red as he scrambles to deny the blatantly obvious fact that was just stated as everyone laughs.

None of the team could have anticipated that they were going to end today knowing that Hangman is a father and that the whole team would now go to the ends of the earth to protect his daughter despite her being a carbon copy of her dad. All they could do now was accept the fact and do what they could to watch out for the Seresin father and daughter duo.

[calixcem]

Some post Tsc thoughts! spoilers under the cut :)

I have so many annotations in this book. (668 to be exact), so im just grazing the surface of everything with this one sooo part 1 perhaps?

-Kevin and jean. Jeans unrequited crush on kevin. I need to know more about this and I hope Nora delves into the semantics in the next book.

-Also how this relates to Kevin day famously saying it was easier to be straight. I figured this was a common thought among the ravens or at least Riko’s court,but Jean doesn't mention it once throughout the entire book. He brings up his attraction towards men multiple times ,and there was never any denying it. It was just something he accepted, so how did Kevin get the idea that it was easier to be straight and Jean didn't? Did Jean ever think this way and eventually changed it down the line or what?

-Im a sucker for found family and Nora really delivered with this one. Laila,Cat, and Jeremy are making it known to Jean that they’ll always be there and genuinely want to help him. The dynamic between all of them is so tender and I think it’ll be so healing for Jean. 

-Also I hope we see more of the floozy squad in the next book! 

-I need them to convince Jean to try boba at some point, and i really hope his relationship with food gets better. I really love that he’s cooking with cat and I really hope it develops into one of his hobbies outside of Exy. Let this boy live a little!

-speaking of hobbies: Cat teaching Jean how to ride a motorcycle?? I just feel like it would be beneficial(not to Jeremy’s heart but thats ok) 

-This specific moment with cat and jean 

she ran down to the tide to rinse it off with childish glee. Jean obediently inspected it when she brought it back, and she tucked it into his breast pocket with a cheerful “For you!”

Small things like this just really show how much they care about him.

- What’s up with Jeremy's family?? I really want to know what happened to where Jeremy “tore them apart” like what was the scandal his freshman year??? It was mentioned briefly but then Jeremy just decided it wasn't worth mentioning again considering all that was going on? The biggest “im fine” in history fr. Also when Cat is telling Jean about everyone’s siblings she mentions how when you go over 4 kids there's bound to be one asshole, but she only listed 4. So did one of his siblings die?? I might be reading too far into this but! Or it could be that one of them cut off all ties to the family after something happened? I don't know but I’m excited to read more about it in the next book!

Jeremy has—three. One sister, two brothers. The older brother’s an absolute tool, but there’s bound to be a jerk or two once you pass four kids.” Jean idly wondered what she’d changed at the last minute and why,

- The constant touches everyone gives Jean to ground him and make him feel loved just makes me so happy. 

- also jean constantly touching jeremy’s chin to get his attention??? Hello? 

A hand on his chin startled him into looking up. When he met Jean’s eyes, Jean only said, “Focus on what’s important.” “I am,” Jeremy said. Jean opened his mouth, closed it again, and let go of Jeremy without a word. Jeremy snagged his arm when he started to turn away. “Who did this to you?”

This line in particular really hit me.

-just jerejean in general honestly. The way Jeremy genuinely cares about him and wanting to help him heal 

You are going to be my success story: Jean Moreau the person, not Jean Moreau of the perfect Court.

“Will you help me?” he asked. “Anything you need.” “A blank check is a dangerous thing to offer.” “Try me,” Jeremy said. “I can afford it.”

-neil. Bro was just being a menace and seeing him from an outsiders pov makes me realize just how unhinged he seems to everyone. But him ordering that hit on Grayson without a second thought? Iconic. As everyone else is saying he dropped by to serve cunt and then left. 

-Jean dropping the most poetic line about Neil and Andrew’s relationship and then just not thinking about it ever again is so wild lmao.

Jean noticed how Andrew and Neil moved like they were caught in each other’s gravity, in each other’s space more than they were out of it, cigarette smoke and matching armbands and lingering looks when one fell out of orbit for too long.

-The parallels between Jean and Neil and how they dealt with things. I don't know if you can really call some of them parallels but they are connected in my head bro. 

-JEANS SISTER. Oh this shit hurts from the faint memory we get to the end when we find out that she's dead??? Nora you're paying for my therapy oh my god. And when Jean is mourning her the snippet of the memory of stitching up her dress that she’d get caught in the blackberry bushes???? He genuinely loved her and just when he’d be getting to a point to where he’d feel safe enough to try to get in contact with her again to find out his parents sold her off and she died because of it???? Yeah bitch burn your family to the ground. I hope we get more memories with her in them. 

[xchxsex]

2 Birds with 1 Stone: John Stone x afab reader

Warnings: mention of murder and suicide, graphic depictions, manipulation, oral (m receiving), degradation, praise, age gap, virgin reader, overstimulation, slapping

Being a cop had its ups and downs; you get to bring victims to justice, but you also witness some of the most graphic cases of abuse.

This case was no different.

Over some time, many girls have come up missing, all last seen at bars and all found getting into an old blue car.

They finally think they’ve found the man responsible: a man named John Stone who tended to keep to himself, living out far from the city.

You were called in to interrogate him, being one of the best at the station to get confessions. You were able to get inside their heads and trick them into revealing their darkest secrets and desires.

There’s just one problem with this man.

As you opened the case file, he immediately caught your eye. You were a sucker for the look of an older man, like many others. No wonder he got girls to come with him so easy.

This made you nervous. You tried to think of how to get him to talk, but none came to mind.

As you walked into the room, you tried to center yourself. If you couldn’t get him to talk, not only would families not be able to have their girls again, but it could also mess up your reputation.

Immediately he greets you with a slight smirk, his hands cuffed behind him.

“Well well well, aren’t you a pretty young thing.” He says.

You get a hitch in your throat and try to swallow it down. Sitting down in front of him, he adjusts his hips, moving them forward. As hard as you try, you can’t help but look down. Loose jeans, but with whatever is between his legs, they’re tight.

It’s been a while since you’ve been this close to any man. Your job took most of your time, or you just weren’t interested in those who asked for your number.

“Having a hard time focusing?,” he asks.

You quickly look up and meet his eyes. There’s a charm, a sexiness about them.

Crossing your legs and opening his file, your heart beating quickly, you start to ask him questions.

“So, i see you’ve served overseas?”

He smiles.

“Is that really what you want to ask?”

You bite your lip and close the files. You’re gonna have to be harder with him.

“No, it’s not. I want to know where all these girls bodies are. Their families deserve to have a proper burial for their loved one John.”

He laughs a sinister one.

“Can’t tell you where the bodies are… but i can tell you where i put the pieces.”

A chill goes down your spine. His smugness only makes you more curious about the man sitting in front of you.

“Let me ask you something,” he says,” why are you a cop? A little thing like you, if my hands weren’t cuffed, i could wrap both of my hands around that pretty neck of yours and choke you without you even being able to scream for help.”

The thought of his hands wrapped around your neck causes your body to react in a way you didn’t expect.

“And I’m also trained to take down men your size. I also have a taser and a gun that will cut you down to size if you try it.”

He laughs again.

“You’re a precious little thing aren’t ya? You forget that i was trained the same way darlin’.”

He’s trying to pick apart your ego, to make you feel threatened and scared.

“John, we’re getting off topic, you know where you put those bodies- pieces, stop calling me names and answer my questions.”

He knows he’s getting to you, getting you riled up is what he wants.

“Okay,” he settles into his chair,” then what do you want to know?,” he says.

You let out a huff, trying to keep your anger contained.

“You know what i want to know John, where did you put those girls?”

He bites his lip, looking down at your covered body. You catch his eyes wandering, ashamed at wondering what he thinks of it.

“You’re one of those good girls, I like you. Don’t worry little lady, I wont bite, unless you want me to.”

This might be a chance to wonder what he’s thinking.

“And what is a ‘good girl’ to you?,” you ask.

“A girl that doesn’t go around suckin’ and fuckin’ anything that walks, one of those girls that keeps their body to themselves. They stay covered, leaving it all to the imagination. You’re all covered up, not wearing a bunch of shit on your face. A natural beauty.”

You feel your cheeks flush at his words, holding what they make you feel from him. You can’t let him have the upper hand on you.

“See, if i was your daddy, i would be proud of you not dressing and acting like that.”

Not having a present father figure makes his words hurt more than they should.

“Actually my father is not around, my mom is who’s proud of me. I don’t need your validation.”

He tuts a little.

“You’re a sweet girl. I’ll tell you some things,” he says.

You let out a needed breath.

“Thank you, now-,” he cuts you off.

“But, only if you do a little something for me in return.”

Bargaining was something you had to do every now and then. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it went south.

“And what would that be?,” you ask.

He sighs. “You remind me of my wife. Killed herself a while ago. You’re sweet and innocent like her. Took two years of dating before she let me touch her, and god was it was amazing. I love usin’ a pretty girl that’s never been touched.”

You’re not sure where this is going, but the thought of him climbing on top of you and having you is beginning to make you throb.

“What exactly are you asking me?”

“Are you a virgin, princess? Cause you sure seem like it.”

You feel embarrassed now. How would he even know that about you?

“That’s none of your business,” you tell him.

“I take that as a yes,” he says.

“Okay? What is it that you want in exchange for information?,” you ask.

“I want you,” he says with no hesitation.

Your body responds quicker than your mind can, a whimper falls from your lips before you can stop it.

“W-why would you want me?,” you ask.

He licks his lips.

“Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve gotten to fuck a good girl? M’ sick and tired of fuckin’ these whores around here,” he leans in closer to the table,” if I’m going to prison, i want to be the man to take your body and introduce it to a world of pleasure.”

The idea shouldn’t sound as good as it does. You guess it would kill two birds with one stone.

“So, if i let you have me, you’ll tell me where those girls are?”

“Im a man of my word sweetheart.”

Your mind is hesitant, but your body is ready to handle whatever John has in store for you.

“Okay,” you say.

He smiles. “Good. But not here, we need to go somewhere private.”

You agree, but where?

“Where would we go then?”

“You sneak us both out of here, we can hop in the car and go somewhere hidden. Then I’ll tell you where they are.”

It’s risky, but you always have your gun, taser, and your fight in you. If you can get him to confess, it will help many families, maybe even get you a promotion.

“Deal,” you tell him.

You stand up and get him out of the chair, quickly seeing his large stature compared to yours. You grab his arm and cuffed hands, leading him out of the interrogation room. Your boss stops you.

“How’d it go?,” she asks.

“I got him to talk a little. Im taking him back to his cell before i tell you,” you lie.

“Okay good. Ill see you soon,” she says.

You both leave, taking him out the back door, near the cells.

Letting him in the passenger seat of your police car, you make sure he’s settled and still cuffed. He might be charming, but you’re in charge of keeping him calm.

You climb in the drivers side, joining him in.

“Im leaving the cuffs on you. Where do we go?”

“Thats alright darlin’, drive off this road and take a few right turns. There’s some scrub brush around there people don’t pass by much.”

You drive off, following his directions. You feel him eyeing you up, wondering how your body will feel in his hands. While driving, you’re a little distracted as well, thinking about what he might look like under those baggy clothes. Part of you also wonders just what are you about to experience: will it hurt? Will it be bad?

Soon, you arrive where he said. You start to get nervous at the thought of him having you, but you’re doing it for good reasons. Course, one of those reasons is a little more personal than the rest.

You pull over off the road, letting yourself out before walking around and opening his door. You go to get in the backseat before he stops you.

“I need to see if you’re worth fuckin’ first,” he turns himself around to where his legs are out of the door,” you’re gonna need to prove it, pretty girl.”

“And how would I do that?,” you ask.

“How about you start by shuttin’ that mouth and getting on your knees, hm?”

You do as he says, slowly lowering yourself in front of him.

“Good girl. You obey my commands. How about you take off my belt and pants?”

You unhook the black leather, opening it to unbutton his jeans and pull down the zipper. You tug them down and are greeted with the sight of his length tightly packed into his dark underwear. Your insides twinge at the thought of it entering you, filling and stretching you out with ease.

“Now prove it to me. You suck my cock until i tell you to stop, and i suggest you listen to what i say.”

You’ve never been with a man in any sense. The furthest that you’ve ever gone was some light touching while kissing. This is all new.

“Never sucked one before have you? I get to be the first man in both of your holes hm?”

You nervously loop your fingers into his underwear, gently tugging them down until his cock springs up and out.

He lets out a groan of relief. “Get to it pretty girl.”

You wrap your hand around the base of him, your fingers barely touching all the way around. You slowly take him into your mouth, hearing him let out a grunt in response. Taking a few inches at a time, you settle into a pace that keeps you from gagging.

“Thats fuckin’ right little girl, you take that dick in that innocent little mouth of yours.”

His words cause you to choke slightly. Your eyes water as you come up.

“Take every inch down your throat and I’ll let you stop. Be a good girl and prove how much you want it.”

You take him again, working up to the depth you were at. Going deeper, you’re only halfway down him, not sure you can take anymore.

“Thats it baby, keep going. I want to watch you choke for me.”

You open up your throat as best you can, closing your eyes, working your way down until you feel the tickle of hair at the base of him.

“Good fuckin’ girl baby… one of em’s buried over between the lake and town line.”

You take his words as allowing you to come up. Tears dripping down your face, saliva dripping down your mouth.

“I love corrupting little girls into takin’ and beggin’ for a cock in their holes. I’ll fuck you nice and rough.”

You raise up and unlock the back door before he stops you again.

“What now?,” you say back, annoyed.

“Don’t take that tone with me little girl, or i wont fuck that little pussy of yours at all, understand?”

You hate that he has a power over you, but something about the way he talks like that to you makes you grow even wetter.

“Yes,” you say.

“Yes what?,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Y-yes sir.”

“Good girl, now, i was going to ask if you would take these cuffs off.”

That, you’re not sure about. He is still a wanted criminal.

“I don’t know if i should.”

“It’ll be hard for me to take your clothes off and grab onto your pretty curves with my hands tied behind me now wont it?”

He does have a point.

“Okay, but I’m putting them back on when we’re done.”

You take the keys out and let him out of the car to unlock his wrists. You put the cuffs back in your pocket.

Now that his hands are free, you can see how large they are. You need them grabbing onto your body, taking you the way he wants.

“Lay in the back,” he orders.

You climb into the backseat of the car, he follows, ending up on top of you.

“You still want me to fuck you?,” he asks.

“Yes,” you answer, with no hesitation.

He grabs hold of your body, kissing you roughly all over. You get his pants and underwear fully tugged down and off while he’s unbuttoning your top. It slides down your shoulders and lands in the floor. You’re left in a thin tank top with your bra.

He undoes your belt and tugs your pants down, revealing your thin, white underwear. He pulls away from you, seeing you laid underneath him.

“White’s a symbol of purity,” he begins to pull them down,” guess I’ll be takin’ these with me.”

He takes them off and puts them in his shirt pocket. He pushes your legs up, displaying you to him.

“Got a pretty little wet cunt on you.” He runs his fingers down your slit, slipping a finger into you. You wince at having something enter you for the first time.

“Nice and tight too, you want another?”

The more you open up, the more you crave him.

“Please,” you whine.

He slides another into you, his wide fingers stretching you more.

“Gotta get you nice and open before my cock tears you in half.”

He curls them up just right, finding a spot you never knew existed. You moan, grabbing onto the seat.

“Yeah? Making a mess on my fingers huh?” He smiles as he presses on your lower stomach.

“Show me those pretty tits,” he says.

You listen and do as he says, pulling up your bra to reveal yourself to him. He moves his hand and starts pumping himself.

“You’re getting me worked up babygirl.” Drops of pre cum drip on your stomach. His fingers still press into you, using the heel of his palm to rub your clit.

He takes his hand off his cock and gathers what dripped on his thumb, touching it to your lips.

“Clean it up dirty girl,” he invites you to suck it off. The mixture of you sucking his finger while his curl into you is building your pleasure.

His hand moves to your breast, squeezing and pinching your nipples.

“Yeah? You gonna cum on me? You wanna make a pretty mess on my cock next?”

“Mhmm,” you whine before an intense orgasm rocks your body. You moan, grabbing into his arm, fingers fucking you faster, prolonging your pleasure even more. Your back arches off the seat.

“Goddamnit you’re fuckin’ tight when you cum.”

Normally you would have finished by now, letting it subside as you caught your breath, but your body wont let go of it.

“Im still cumming,” you whine.

He smiles down at you.” Oh i know pretty girl, can’t wait to taste all that pretty cunt is giving me.”

Finally after what felt like hours, it subsides as his fingers slow. He pulls them out of you, admiring the wet, sticky mess you left behind. He brings his fingers to his lips, sucking the creamy mess off of them.

“Sweet, with a little bit of tang,” he says finishing up. “Now’s time for the real fun.” He unhooks and takes off the bra completely, throwing it aside.

Bare, you want to feel his skin completely on yours. You run your hands up his flannel shirt, wanting him to take it off.

“You want my top off?,” he smiles.

“Please”, you whine, moving your hands further up.

He gives into you, unbuttoning it and pulling it off. You’re finally satisfied being able to run your hands up his body, through his hair.

He towers back over you, pulling your legs on his. You start to get a little nervous. The feeling of his fingers hurt, and after seeing what he looks like, you know it’s going to hurt like hell.

“You ready for me?,” he asks.

“Yes,” you say, readying yourself.

He aligns himself at you, pressing in. It doesn’t hurt at first, but after a few seconds, it feels like fire.

“Ow,” you whine, digging your nails into his shoulders.

“Oh it’s gonna hurt darlin’. I’ll go slow. Tight little virgin pussy.”

He slowly slides in, closing your eyes tight, breathing picking up, trying to take him. Finally he stops, all the way inside you.

“Look at me,” he says.

You open your eyes back up, looking down to see him filling you up. The pain has subsided for now. You look back up at him.

“You okay? You’re openin’ up for me.”

“I think so,” you say, settling into the feeling of being full.

“It’s gonna keep hurtin’ baby. Just wait it out, alright?”

You nod, preparing for more pain. He starts to pull out and it begins to hurt again, but not as bad as before. He slowly moves in and out of you, waiting for you to fully open.

But when he moves into you a final time, pure hot pleasure shoots through your body. You let out a moan and he takes notice. He smiles, picking up the pace.

“Startin’ to like it, aren’t you?”

Tightening your body around him, you make out a “yes”, into his ear. His hand wraps around your neck and squeezes.

“Im gonna show you how a real man fucks a lady.”

He adjusts his legs up, moving further on top before slamming his hips into you so aggressively, you’re moving up and down with his movements. You cry out in unbearable pleasure, your body trying to fight back against it.

He holds your body close to his, completely pinning you down.

“So goddamn tight, you like gettin’ fucked like this, don’t you?,” he grunts in your ear.

“Yes, fuck!,” you moan, back arching further into him. You can’t believe you’re currently losing your virginity to a wanted man as an officer in the back of your own car.

He kisses you rough and sloppy, still pounding away at your insides effortlessly. His hand moves from your neck to your lower stomach, pressing down slightly.

“Feel how fuckin’ deep I am? Big cock stretching out your tight little womb,” he groans.

When he presses down, you can feel his tip hitting his hand through your skin, so deep you can feel him in your stomach.

“You know what i love even more than a good girl?”, he groans. “A good girl that can take a cock like a little fuckin’ whore.”

He raises up, lifting your hips up with him. The arch of your back causes him to go even deeper, hitting your spots even better. You grab hold of the seats as the only part of you touching is your upper back and head. You lift your legs up on his shoulders, pulling you even higher.

“God, thats the hottest fuckin’ thing Ive ever seen,” he groans.

You look down and see what he’s looking at. Because of the angle you’re at, your stomach is actually bulging outwards with his thrusts.

“You’re my dirty fuckin’ slut. Pretty little cock hungry girl,” he says with a slap to your cheek and a hand around your neck. You moan, that slap doing more to you than you expected. Your insides burn with a need of release, not knowing if he’ll allow you to relieve the ache.

“C-can I cum?,” you ask.

He leans over you, sweat beads forming on his forehead.

“Course you can babygirl, you’re being so good for me.”

It doesn’t take long before you’re grabbing on tightly to his body, coming undone around him while he continues to pound you into the seat. You’re crying out for him, begging him to slow down.

“Shut up and take it all, little girl,” he groans in your ear.

In a swift motion, he lowers you back down on the seat, quickly pulling your legs back on his shoulders.

“Fuck!,” you whine, extending your high out longer than you’ve ever felt.

“Thats it, dirty fuckin’ whore. Yeah? You like cummin’ around a cock don’t you girl?”

You’re finally starting to come down from it, but it doesn’t take long before you feel another one coming. Your legs are automatically trying to close, his neck stopping them.

“I suggest you keep those legs spread for me,” he leans in closer,” or you’re not cummin’ again anytime soon.”

You try and force your legs apart the best you can, wanting to be able to finish again. You pull them apart with your hands as you’re about to finish again.

“Bout to cum again already are we?,” he asks.

You nod, about to break for him. His hand wraps around your throat.

“You ask permission to cum sweetheart. Am i just gonna have to pull out before you make your pretty mess,” he leans in close to your ear, still pounding away,” or are you gonna be my good little cumslut and ask?”

“Please can i cum?!,” you cry, trying to delay it.

“Good girl. Cum for me.”

You moan out even louder, letting your mind and body unravel in his arms with an even more powerful orgasm than before.

“Shut your fuckin’ mouth and take it,” he growls.

Your hands go down to his body, trying to push him away, to get him to slow down as you’re screaming in an overstimulated pleasure. He takes your wrists and pins them down.

“Don’t you dare try and fight me, little girl.”

Tears are streaming down your face, his thrusts finally slowing down.

“Y-yes sir,” you barely make out.

His movements stop, lowering your legs down as he pulls out and away from you. Its not long before your legs are spread apart and pushed back.

“Now that tight little hole is nice and stretched out for me,” he says with a spank to your crotch. “Alright, you’ve proven that you can suck and take a cock, now i want you to prove that you can ride one.”

Your legs are shaking from him, numb from being pinned.

He sits down in the seat beside you, smiling at you with a shit-eating grin.

You can’t do anything but whimper and whine at him, causing him more joy.

“You gonna come on and show me, or do i need to get you up myself?”

You’re not sure what he means by that, but you know it probably wont be good. You manage to move enough to sit up, catching another look at him. Part of you wonders how he ever fit inside you. Reaching down, you see some blood on your fingers.

“Wait, I’m bleeding some,” you say.

He smiles. “Thats what happens when you get your little cherry popped. Now get your ass over here.”

You raise up and climb on him, sliding back down. You whine again at the feeling of being filled.

He kisses your chest and neck, still sitting on him. “You gonna start or am i gonna have to make you, sweetheart?”

You rock your hips on him, wrapping your arms around his neck. He rests his hands around your torso, rubbing your nipples with his thumbs.

“Bounce that pretty ass and tits for me babydoll.”

You raise up and down on him, resting your hands on his shoulders.

“Thats my good girl, working those pretty little hips on me.”

You feel yourself starting to drift, all you can think about is your pleasure. Even though your legs are in pain, you can’t stop bouncing on him.

“Aw, i know that look,” he rests one of his hands on your cheek, sticking his thumb in your mouth, inviting you to suck it,” sweet little girl is cock drunk.”

Not long after, he starts gripping you tightly on your ass.

“You wanna know how it feels to get your little cunt filled?,” he growls in your ear.

“Mhmm,” you whine, your hips meeting his thrusts.

He groans, pushing you all the way down on him, his tip resting snug on your cervix.

You feel the warmth of his seed spurting into you, making you gasp. It’s an instant sensation, one that you know you want to feel again and again. Bits dribble out as you raise up and off of him. You rest against the door of the car, completely used. Even after how rough it was and how exhausted you are, it was undeniably amazing.

You both grab your clothes and put them back on, you without your underwear. You fix up your hair and whatever else was messed up on your body.

He puts his clothes back on quickly and easily.

“Alright, you held up your end, I’ll hold up mine.”

At the midst of all of that, you almost forgot what you were doing it for.

“Good. That was the deal.”

“How about i take you to one myself?,” he says.

You agree, allowing him back into the car.

He directs you further down the road, getting even deeper into the brush around. He’s been quiet on the ride there, only talking to tell you where to go. I guess you wouldn’t really want to talk if you knew that you were going to go to prison for most likely the rest of your life.

“Stop here,” he says. You’re stuck to the very end of just a patch of dirt, the road ending a while back.

You get out of the car, looking around, not seeing much.

“I don’t really see-“, you’re cut off with Johns hand wrapped around your throat. A crushing feeling, not like when he took your body, causing your body to go into fight or flight. Looking at his hand, you quickly realize your deadly mistake.

You forgot to cuff him.

You try and break his grip free around your neck. You reach down to your taser, quickly realizing your belt is also in the car.

Pure evil is the only way to describe whats in your eyes, laughing as you begin to stop struggling, vision going black.

“Oh sweetheart, there’s no body here,” he brings you closer to his face,” it’s where I’m puttin’ you.”

[greentrickster]

(walks up to the microphone and leans in): Okay, so, I’ve seen a lot of Ghost King Danny (which, let’s be fair, is a fun concept, I totally get it), but I’ll see you that and raise you this: Fright Knight Vlad. The current Fright Knight himself is the Spirit of Halloween, but what if it’s like how, while Pariah Dark was the Ghost King, certain circumstances being met can make someone else the Ghost King. And this applies to members of the Ghost King’s court as well, including the Fright Knight.

And let’s say that the Fright Knight, the Ghost King’s right-hand spook, isn’t a battle-based position, but one based on what the current Ghost King most needs from a right-hand spook upon their ascension to the throne. Pariah Dark was a conqueror, so his Fright Knight was a powerful ghost skilled in battle, the Spirit of Halloween. But Danny’s not a conqueror, he doesn’t even typically seek out fights unless there’s a reason he has to. What he’d likely need most is someone who’s really good at politics, has the respect/fear of a decent amount of the Ghost Zone, and who could maybe give him some pointers on how to go about all this. Maybe teach him how to handle his powers better or something while they’re at it.

Which leads to Vlad waking up one morning and the Fright Knight’s sword (the Soul Shredder) is just… hovering over him. He doesn’t know why, his research into ghosts tends to be in regards to ways to gain power, not culture and traditions. Not to mention, he has no idea that Danny finally cracked and accepted his status as Ghost King the night before. He’s got no way (that he’s actually bothered to look at) of knowing that taking the sword is a binding agreement to accept the position and a declaration of fealty to the new monarch until such a time as he’s released from this oath.

Cue the Ghost Zone getting to watch in a combination of amusement and deep concern as their new king and what’s supposed to be his staunchest ally proceed to try and beat the stuffing out of each other in a swathe of chaos spanning Amity Park, Wisconsin, and a good chunk of the Ghost Zone. This is an unprecedented occurrence, no one’s ever accepted the position of Fright Knight without at least a vague idea of what they’re doing, and it’s certainly never been someone who’s enemies with the new monarch. The Fright Knight physically can’t try and overthrow the King, it’s part of the binding agreement accepting the sword entails, so no one who’s planning to attempt just that has ever been dumb enough to try it. Especially because it’s a job you’re stuck with either until there’s a new monarch, or the current monarch’s needs change so drastically that you’re no longer qualified for the job.

Congratulations, Vlad, you’re going to go down in history for this one.

Also, just worth noting, I do not see this going in a shippy way or anything like that. This would be a set-up for enemies-to-friends, with maybe a culmination of some good Badger Cereal (ie, platonic Danny and Vlad bonding, friendship/mentory stuff, maybe some found family if you’re feeling wild). No mental compulsions or anything going on with Vlad for this, either, it’s more along the lines of getting whacked with the Spector Deflector if he tries to use his new position against his king, and possibly it forces him to pull his punches somewhat if he gets into a physical brawl with Danny unless Danny specifically tells him to go all-out. I dunno, I don’t have all the details, I just think it would be funny as heck for Vlad to get himself stuck in a position like this and also that he’d look good in armor.

Also also, I’m a sucker for forced bonding leading to friendships and found family and stuff. And enemies-to-friends. And Badger Cereal and mentor!Vlad and Vlad being forced to be a responsible adult and domestication arcs for villains. And Vlad gaining the power he wants but in a way with all these strings attached and also he’s not actually in charge. I want this horrible man looking fine as hell as he’s dragged kicking and screaming into becoming a better person.

Oh wait, no! It’s not so much a physical compulsion or shock collar or anything like that that’s keeping Vlad in line, it’s learning that, while the Fright Knight technically could betray the Ghost King, it’s one of those actions that generally gets you hunted down by the majority of the Ghost Zone unless they really hate the monarch you’re betraying. And the denizens of the Ghost Zone may not be the biggest fans of Danny, but they like him so, so much better than Pariah Dark, and the twerp’s somehow got Clockwork backing him, so it’s probably worth keeping him around for a bit, at least for a century or two, see how things work out. So Vlad’s landed himself in a position that he can’t relinquish, it can only be taken from him in a few certain circumstances, and if he tries to overthrow or betray Danny, it’s good odds the majority of the Ghost Zone will unify to hunt him down.

Getting strong-armed into being Danny’s staunch ally on pain of ectoplasmic retribution was not how he saw this Thursday going, but b’golly if it hasn’t happened anyway. Maybe- maybe he’ll just call off work today, go grab a bottle of wine to drink while cuddling Maddie-the-Cat, staring into the distance, and asking what he, an angel, ever did to deserve this.

[jimmy-johns-was-taken]

Headcanons about Masky/Tim?

Oki oki oki

Very quick before you all read the rest of this

Tim/Masky is NOT my character, nor is he a creepypasta (originally a marble hornets character)

When I write for him, I write more of a creepypasta style but not the twink version, but the cool one

As for TW? Smoking, violence, mentions of Jeff, addiction?

Also I am sick, so please bear with me on ask and like the quality? My head feels as if it will explode

Ok? Ok.

So Tim? Overall he’s actually chill. He just kind of wants to be left alone for the most part? Like just let him smoke in peace!

I like to think that he’s a father figure for Toby and Cody, but I’m delusional and just really like found family

Very good friends with Brian, not necessarily Hoodie though. He really couldn’t care less for Hoodie

Tim himself I don’t think enjoys killing, that’s all Masky. On that note, Tim does have a temper! He will go off on anyone, don’t test him

He’s a major sucker for poetry and lots of movies (rom-coms, emotional stuff like whiplash, etc)

I mean what do you expect? He was in film?

Also, being from the south, he cooks really well! Very good at thanksgiving, and knows how to make some mean dressing.

Will deck anyone and everyone. he really doesn’t like many of the creeps. Absolutely despises people like Jeff and LJ. He’s cool with EJ and BEN tho (BEN thinks he’s mean, so they don’t socialize)

Also is a pill addict, I had to say it

Sorry

As for Masky? Think a much more serious version of Jeff?

Like take Tim’s and Jeff’s personality and throw them together

Can be very cocky and bitchy, but he gets his shit done so

Also is a massive dick to Toby, Cody, and Brian

Literally just hates everything and everyone

Just cuz why not

Will deck you with a crowbar, no questions asked