#have common interests!!! it’s how harmful relationships actually happen - you have to have had something about the person that you liked

[un-pearable]

already seen plenty of stuff re: tolerable-ization of gabe and sincerely i think it’s good. this version of gabe undeniably sucks but in a realistic, i-can-see-why-these-two-would-get-together way. kid’s media has a tendency to create abusive characters who are exaggerated to make it obvious to kids, but the show is targeted at both kids and the original readers who grew up, so it can afford to have a little more nuance and make sally and gabe behave like people who DID have a real reason to get together (once)

[ruruvxz]

“Where is my friend, smiley?”

Idol!Huh Yunjin x Idol!Reader

↳ synopsis: It was infuriating watching everyone ship you and your label-mate, you didn’t even know how anyone came to that conclusion, you didn’t even interact with her in the public! (Or from public knowledge you didn’t) So why would anyone know about your embarrassing relationship with her?

↳ cw: kinda mean reader, use of language, established relationship, reader is in a fake group, reader was in Produce 48, lovesick yunjin, hidden relationship, tooth rotting fluff (kinda a yapfest abt how much you love her…)

↳word count: 2.5k

a/n: literally my first time writing after awhile, usually my stories are old renditions/proofreads of stories i wrote back in 2023. so this is something im actually really proud of! also this story kinda was inspired by “tingin” by cup of joe more than it was inspired by “where is smiley” by serani poji… LOL

౨ৎ It was odd, and everyone agreed, that the partnership with Huh Yunjin from Le Sserafim and Y/N from Serendipity was perplexing. The only thing connecting both of the girls was the industry they happened to be in, other than that they had nothing in common. Of course, the argument could be made that you and her both participated in the hit reality competition "Produce 48", but everyone knew that was quite a flawed counterpoint.

This was because you were practically thrown out after a few episodes before getting scouted by HYBE to debut months later. And you made it apparent that you didn't want to interact with anyone associated with the production of that show. So with Le Sserafim's debut years after yours, you found it baffling that your company wanted you to "hang out" with the rookie groups, it was infuriating. You worked so hard just to be put with a bunch of girls who couldn't care any less about how much you tried. Despite that, you found mountains and mountains of carefully orchestrated videos of “so-called" proof about you and Yunjin being the "best" of friends.

Whatever it was connecting the both of you was a mystery the fans must solve, and being honest with yourself, you found the whole circumstance mildly infuriating.

So at every turn you tried avoiding that mischievous redhead wherever you went, even when it came to recording meaningless video collaborations, you always mustered up a half-assed excuse. It came to the point where you went out of your way to hide in uncomfortable places just to avoid her friendly banter. Though no matter how hard you tried you could always hear her voice linger longer than it should have in the back of your head. Or maybe it was just how awfully loud her voice was, to the point that it left a ringing sensation in your ear.

It came as no surprise when you heard her voice calling out to your other members inquiring about your whereabouts. This was usually your cue to hide away from prudish questions, last time she had asked you "Do you come here often? You look like you do" unprovoked! Admittedly you knew she didn't mean any harm, but it still struck a cord within you, and knew she was probably going to run towards you asking all sorts of questions. You picked yourself up from whatever task was put on you and quickly ran away from her voice.

Of course, you knew what you were doing was more than ill-mannered, but god forbid she quizzes you one more time about trivial interests. But that was better than confronting her, confrontation was your worst enemy, and so was Yunjin's mannerisms. She was the physical embodiment of what a "dog personality" was, always eager to learn more and help everyone out. it kinda freaked you out to some jealous extent.

So trying your best not to start any conflict with this poor redhead, you decided to best course of action was to camp out around the building's designated lounge. Hoping today would not be the day she decided to check this certain deserted area. All you could do now was fish out your phone from your back pocket to read some forums about your performance and pray that no one would notice you here.

On the other hand, Yunjin was getting more and more hopeless trying to find you around the shared building. Feeling a little lost as she mindlessly drifted across section to section of the HYBE building. Though it hadn't taken poor Yunjin a while before spotting you from the corner of her eye. Her eyes lit up when she saw you mindlessly scrolling on your phone, the energy filling her up with excitement as she inched closer. As she came closer you couldn't help but notice her come closer and closer, realizing your interaction was inevitable.

Jerking your head up to meet her gaze, Yunjin waved her hand as she came within reach of you, letting out a fake smile before putting your phone down. You glanced at her and back to the empty seat resting in front of you, she beamed a bright smile before quickly and "casually" sitting down. Yunjin opened her mouth to speak before you cut her off with a hum.

"Remember, we're the only ones here so make sure to be a little quiet, alright?" You hushed, while she gave you an approving nod, she spoke up this time making it apparent that she was trying her best not to draw attention to the both of you, not like last time.

"Of course, I just wanted to see you it's been so long since I've seen your face..." Yunjin pouts as she looks around making sure the coast is clear from the nosy "enthusiast" who was always oh so curious about you and Yunjin's relationship. Your spine chilling at the thought of people making up such absurd theories about your closeness. The way they could put together such in-depth statements about the both of you always stumped you, how did they manage to procure all this information?

Even Yunjin claimed time and time again that she knew nothing about these fan-made theories, or how her fans managed to get old screen captures of both of you. In actual reality, Yunjin most definitely knew more than he should have! Mainly because it was practically her fault that images of the both of you were wafting around on the internet. See, she wasn't exactly the silent type when it came to friendships/relationships, she loved airing out her own business, which usually came back to bite her in the ass. So needless to say when her old Spotify account was coincidently launched into mainstream media people quickly connected the dots.

For someone who was adamant about avoiding her Juniors, you happened to be insinuated in every one of her, oddly, romantic, playlists. Either that be by a photo of the back of your head being the cover of a playlist titled "The Perfect Pair", or by the fact that all the descriptions were... Unusually corny... even by Yunjin's standards. Each careful string of words all connected with an underlying message about adoration for a certain someone. This didn't help her case since she always spoke about you in high regard whenever she was in a lonesome interview.

And the evidence staked against her was just the tip of the iceberg, it was in fact, much deeper than she'd originally like to admit. If someone with a genuine interest in your relationship with Yunjin researched just a little more about the both of you, they'd probably discover your relationship cut deep. And yes— as much as you tried to avoid how embarrassing your elimination was during Produce 48, you came across one of the greatest person you’d ever meet.

The way she laughed so carefreely, and how her eyes crinkled whenever she smiled, while her gaze brightly met yours. Everything about her made your heart stop, it made you freeze up whenever she looked at you during practice, and it made you such a fool. You knew it was for the better to avoid her, if you didn't, you'd probably be so whipped so hard that you couldn't focus on your own career. But it was so hard, especially whenever she'd run towards you after every practice and performance telling you how well you did. (No one actually noticed anything because you never really got any screen time sadly...) Even if you left fairly early on, Yunjin slipped you her number so you could both keep in contact.

After that day, the one thing you swore not to do, was instantly thrown out the window, as every waking moment you'd secretly visit her to give her your luck. And when things didn't go her way, and she was eventually eliminated, you comforted her in your arms. Before you debuted, you would actively seek your smiling friend, laughing under the neatly shaded picnic table outside the PLEDIS building. It wasn't much nor was it very significant, but being by her side was more than enough for you.

Even after you debuted, you never broke contact with your dear friend, words couldn’t describe how much she meant to you. She congratulated you every step of the way, and you backed her up twice fold, no matter how turbulent her career was becoming you’d stick by her side no matter what. Because to see her smiling face was more than enough for you and you wouldn’t let anything or anyone damage that. So when she finally told you how much you meant to her, you couldn’t help but reciprocate the feeling.

Though when she debuted and years later light babble started to circulate around the corners of the internet, you so desperately wanted to stay away from her, not to damage her career. It was difficult but her happiness, and that smile you treasured so much was on the line, and you wouldn’t—couldn’t let her lose that.

(Of course, she knew what you were doing, she wasn’t an idiot, but it just made her love you even more, the way you cared so much made her heart swoon deeper for you. Yunjin didn’t want to sway your plans because she didn’t want to ruin your career as well, so she too, went with it. But that didn’t mean she ever kept you a secret. You belonged by her side and she didn’t want anyone to forget that. So yes, she was subtly hinting towards her loving fans that her heart fell in the palms of someone else’s.)

So that was what led the both of you to the circumstances you were entangled in right now. Having to camp out in secluded places, where only your faint laughter could fill her ears, and hers only. You reminisced on your past with her, how carefree you both used to be during your youth, but you wouldn’t trade what you had right now for anything. Despite how secretive the both of you were, you were content with having her hands interlocking with your fingers. It was small, honestly not even comparable to how she used to intertwine your lips during rush hour on the bustling streets of New York, but both made your heart race nevertheless.

As she talked about how practice went, your eyes drifted to how she’d scrunch her eyes whenever she laughed about what happened with Eunchae. Despite all the hardships she’s dealt with over the years, she was still the carefree girl you fell in love with. It was honestly surprising how your eyes never faltered off of her even after years of dating. You tried to take the advice from your family and peers that this was some teenage infatuation, but even through crowds of people, you’d pick her gummy smile before anyone else’s.

Your mind drifted to how you’d give her the moon and back, even if no one was watching, you’d give her everything you had. Your eyes, your heart, your mind, anything you could give her, you would. Yunjin couldn’t help but notice your gaze falling from hers and to her cheeks, she curiously stopped her story to call out to you.

“Ah Y/N, are you okay? Are you tired, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have talked your ears off—“ You cut her off by raising your hands to her face, she looked confused as she cupped her face. Yunjin looked even more shocked when you started to pinch her soft cheeks. Squishing them like marshmallows before laughing to yourself silently.

She (very pathetically) tried to swat your hands away before finally giving in with a giggle, placing her hands on top of yours. “You have such an adorable smile, have I ever told you that?” You speak, pulling her cheeks up to force a smile, not realizing she was smiling from your comment. Caressing your hands with her thumb she spoke up once more.

“Yes actually, you always tell me that my love.” She responded, her cheeks flushing red as you continued to play with her face. The way her eyes squinted like a crescent moon made you adore her even more than before.

“Your smile is just so adorable, I’m afraid I might hide it away from everyone.” You joked as you continued, she looked at you even more lovingly than imaginable, if you weren’t in public, you’d probably be kissing her face all over instead of playing with it. You were so distracted by how charming she looked that you didn’t notice a meddlesome paparazzi sneaking in and taking a very sneaky photo of the both of you. (And even if you did notice, you didn’t have the power to stop them, they’d probably run off with the photos before you could even stand up. Though they would probably release the photos later on in the day, and it would rightfully annoy you. You couldn’t deny the fact you were a little grateful that the people knew, the Huh Yunjin was, Y/N L/N’s)

“There you go again— Hey! You know, that was the first thing you told me when we met.”

“Was it really?”

“Yeah, you told me how beautiful my smile was, I was kinda surprised since you approached me in such a huge crowd of people.”

As Yunjin recited the moment you met, you remembered in detail about the interaction, because that’s what changed the trajectory of your life. (The backstage was crowded with everyone getting ready in their bright pink and white uniform, the cameras weren’t rolling so it was awfully loud. Your broken Korean wasn’t helping your cause as you tried your best to converse with your fellow trainees. The sea of faces was difficult to remember, there were 96 contestants after all. Despite how deafeningly loud everything was, and how overwhelming everything felt, your eyes wonder towards a light-brown bob. Her face caught you off guard, she was stunning, and the way she smiled made the world go silent for a few moments. And you needed to talk to her, or this moment would slip through your tender fingers, so you pushed through the crowd just to have one conversation with her.)

“How embarrassing… I hope no one finds out about that.” You sheepishly admit as you move your hands away from her face and intertwine your fingers back to hers.

“I’m sure they’ll find away, but before they do, my smile will always belong to you, Y/N.” She lifted one of your hands back to her face and cupped it to one of her cheeks before smiling softly. Making the already silent lounge even more quiet, as your mind only focused on her delicate smile. The same one you’d turn tides to protect. Your smiley.

opm and ppop lovers rise tf up!!!!!

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Hey! I’m kinda struggling to understand myself at the moment so I was hoping someone else might have experience with this.

I am ace and possibly aro and about two months ago I was in a very brief relationship with a good friend of mine. We had tried to go out before but I didn’t know her that well back then so I always got scared and backed away from any kind of physical touch and we decided to just stay friends.

Now, at the time of the second attempt, we had been friends for almost two years and I felt something towards her that I would have thought were romantic feelings. I got jealous whenever she mentioned another potential girl she liked, imagined how nice it would be to live life together and stuff like that. So I asked her out and we started dating.

Only for me to find out that nothing had changed. It was as if someone had flipped a switch. The second we called each other girlfriends, I felt like I was stuck in a fight or flight situation and I wanted to avoid her desperately. So we went back to being friends.

But now, two months after that, I lie awake at night thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have called it off so quickly. I feel like she is the only one I know that really gets me and that I could see myself with in the future.

This is all so contradictory and confusing to me, so maybe if someone has experienced something similar at some point I would greatly appreciate some advice! <3

It does sound like you might be experiencing romance repulsion. Romance repulsion is negative feelings that appear in certain romantic situations (what situations depend on the person), and feelings like anxiety, fight or flight, wanting to hide from the other person, etc. are all common romance repulsion feelings.

It is possible to experience romance repulsion to someone you are also romantically attraction to, which can be confusing and hard to navigate. It's possible to experience romantic attraction up until you are actually in a relationship with that person and then have the attraction fade or disappear (if someone thinks this is happening, I always recommend looking into frayromantic, lith/akoiromantic and aegoromantic labels if the person is interested in looking more into things).

It's hard to say 100% if you were to stay in the relationship if the repulsion would have faded, repulsion can be hard to predict. But it's not something I'd recommend trying for very long because when you try and push through repulsion it usually gets worse, not better.

What does tend to work is to see if there's any way to have a relationship that doesn't set off the repulsion. For example some people might be more comfortable in a QPR (which is a catchall term for any relationship that can't be easily categorized as romantic or friendship, and tend to be heavily tailored to the people in the relationship), and then defining the relationship as platonic. So for example you can still have a committed relationship and do things you want in a relationship but leave out anything that sets off your replusion.

This doesn't work for everyone, so don't feel pressured if it's not right for you, but don't be afraid to try different things and see how they go. Remember there's no rules in what a relationship can look like and what it can involve so long as it's not harming anyone and the people in it are happy with it. Hopefully you do eventually find something that works for you.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

[nitpickrider]

So, people say that Golden Age Lois plain and simply despised Clark as a weakling and a coward (with their more Vitriolic Best Buds thing being a modern inventions). Is this entirely true, or was there ever more to it?

Oh my friend that is not true at ALL. In fact from what I've read the idea that Lois despises Clark in any fashion outside of being a friendly professional rival doesn't hold up to the actual scrutiny. (Take this with the grain of salt that I'm only reading Action Comics at the moment, any stories or evidence that exist in the concurrent Superman comic are unknown to me). The moment that sticks out to me is this one so I'll use it for my main thesis statement.

I mean that's right there in black and white, isn't it? Even if her goal is to marry Superman, the only person she'd want to give her away at the wedding is Clark who she outright loudly declares to the entire office to be her second favorite man in the world (The story is a dream but that only strengthens the claim. This is what Lois is saying IN HER OWN MIND) I have TONS more evidence if you want to peak below the cut, be warned its mostly just gushing. I love Clark and Lois' relationship regardless of context and I have TONS of notes.

What people often miss is that in this era the two are actually dating on and off again? I've always read it as Lois and Clark just being each others' main social calls when there's something new to do or see.

She takes steps to activley improve his safety when he's put on dangerous assignment (and she would know, wouldn't she?)

When Clark is under threat of harm or god forbid seems to be actually hurt, it hits Lois like a train. The idea that something could have happened to her puts her into a very uncharacteristic spiral. She gets stunlocked and tends toward feinting which is otherwise very unlike her.

Beyond that, simply, the poor girl worries about him as much as he worries about her.

She relies on Clark to lean on and explicitly would need him around should anything happen to Superman, Clark is her main emotional support system and she knows it well enough to consciously lean on him when in distress

A simple moment of the two sharing a little bit of small talk, they work in very close quarters seemingly by choice. Clark is part of Lois' routine.

They even conduct their chores socially, which I'm given to believe was a much more common activity among friends back in the day. Lois takes a personal interest in Clark's life, how he's feeling, how he looks.

In this moment, granted she's trying to get something out of him but its not like she's holding her nose to give him a kiss on the cheek. And the second she seems disillusioned with Superman, Clark is the first person she can think of to pin her affections on.

When she's had a weird day at work, who does she talk to? Clark.

Even on her way out the door she tries to cheer him up just casually noticing he seemed more dour than usual, not only is that her taking an interest in him emotionally but it shows she knows and cares about him enough to note a change in behavior.

And THIS one is my favorite

She noticed his shirt was dirty, heard him say he had forgotten to get them washed. So she showed up at his apartment where she is evidently a regular enough sight that the doorman knows her by name, to pick up his laundry and have it done for him. No one asks her to do this, she just does it. I've always been fond of saying that the core anchor of any Superman story is the relationship between Clark and Lois. And I DON'T just mean their romantic entanglement. Like Holmes and Watson or Calvin and Hobbs. If you can't write a convincing back and forth between the two, if you can't make the audience believe that these two people are friends who love and care for one another. Then straight up you're going to write Bad Superman comics, period.

[akutasoda]

chapter three - within the spider's web

　↳ jorogumo!kafka x fem!reader

warnings - fem!reader, reader is a stellaron hunter, fluff?, pining, wc - 1k

the stellaron hunters were quite well known across the galaxy - or much rather feared across the galaxy. they were infamous and you so happened to be able to become a new recruit among that group. it was nevr your intention but in honestly you weren't going to complain or even try to get out of it.

the stellaron hunters weren't as nearly as scary as you imagined. silver wolf was very laid back and sometimes just straight up ignored everything and everyone, blade kept to himself and you normally only saw him idly staring into the distance and sam too kept to himself but was more likely to engage in conversation with you. however the one that did have an unnerving aura was kafka.

kafka with her sly comments and snarky yet equally sly remarks. kafka with her confidence, looks and overall subtle controlling words. she intrigued yet unnerved you. she often was nice to you but you figured that was just a common courtesy she showed towards colleagues. she exuded mystery and never gave much about herself away, much like other hunters but for her it seemed different. however, unbeknownst to you, you had caught her eye.

kafka was quite proud of her kin, if she were to speak openly. she enjoyed the fear that her kins tale would ensue in others. however she also enjoyed keeping it under wraps - the thrill of knowing that no one truly knew hwta she was - and the only evidence of what she truly was, was presented in her powers in combat. the use of purple spider webs to entangle her victims, the symbol worn on the back of her attire and the same symbol that glowed upon her using some attacks. but she could always brush that off as her power and nothing more.

of course she was much younger than most of her kin, yet to develop most powers that developed with age, roughly at 400 years old, but no matter each jorogumo possessed that same instinct no matter the age. initially her interest in you was thought to be just the novelty of having a new colleague but normally it would wear off in a while, but her she was still increasingly curious about you.

until she had realised eventually truly what she was feeling and it made her curiosity spike. you were quite the stunning woman if she was being honest, someone she could see becoming something more than friends with her. and she quite liked that idea, however she understood some boundaries stood in the way. normally her kin didn't take interest in people in such a way, often only faking it to lead them into an untimely demise, and she didn't quite know how to go about it as the last thing she wanted was to harm you.

you had found yourself hanging around kafka alot more nowadays. you hadn't really a reason why apart from the fact you just felt naturally drawn to her, more so than usual. but you weren't complaining much, she was quite nice to hang around. there was something about her mystery and sly tongue that intrigued you about her. not to mention that the only times you had worked with her, you couldn't help but admire her skill. and it seemed that she was also loving spending more time with you.

however for the first time ever, she was struggling. struggling with her feelings. this was the very fist time she had ever felt so strongly about actually getting into a relationship with someone, a real relationship. and it made it even harder because of her origins but if she was determined to make this work and no longer struggle with such feelings. guess she would have to play the long game.

she had settled for attempting a courtship, yes she found it tedious and would much rather be forward with you but she wad barely considered a good friend in your eyes and perhaps before she may need to tell you about her origins.

you paid no mind to her increase in attention towards you, nor the fact that you seemed to be partnered with her on more missions. in fact you felt rather honoured that she was giving you most of her attention. and if you were being honest with yourself you had developed quite the crush on her, not that you ever thought she would take an interest in you that way.

but as your friendship with her progressed, she had decided that you two were at a point where she felt she could trust you with such a secret. and much too her surprise which turned into amusement, you had not been afraid but more impressed. you would admit to yourself that it was slightly terrifying but from what you had heard jorogumo pray on men not a woman such as yourself, so you had no need to be scared - or so you thought.

but now you had realised all the signs that pointed to that. and it made you feel slightly dumb that you didn't pick up on it, but you knew kafka and that made you feel slightly better that no one else picked up on it.

her confession off what she truly was had not hindered your friendship or her slow courtship in the slightest which only made her feel as if it truly was destiny. and now she had felt as if she could pick up the pace and be more forward with her approach towards you. eventually leading to her confession and the turning point in your relationship with the feared stellaron hunter. and truly become trapped within the spider's web.

[katapotato55]

Deltarune theory: Kris, Noelle, and Ralsei (Kris may not hate Ralsei THAT much) and other misc theories.

obviously spoilers for Deltarune up to chapter 2 and some of the Spamton sweepstakes. play the game it's free on steam. also this is a little bit long and contains a lot of screenshots. Not a huge amount of text walls I am just crazy. more info after the cut.

(credit to the deltarune wiki for these screenshots) So a common theory is that the health gained from the tea represents how close emotionally characters are to each other. If a character does not know someone else, the tea appears as nothing, such as Noelle having no reaction to the Ralsei tea, since at that point in the game they never met. People often use this as an implication that Kris does not like ralsei very much. but here is the thing that gets me:

Kris seems to get damn near the same amount of HP from Noelle as they do Ralsei. and that is confusing... because aren't they supposed to be childhood friends? meanwhile Susie used to bully Kris as implied by the Spamton sweepstakes... and yet Susie's tea gives Kris the MOST health out of all of them. not to mention Noelle seems to share the same amount of health return, but doesn't hate the tea either. What on earth is going on here?

The Theory (s?)

The unfun theory: The health means absolutely nothing. Personally I don't like this theory if you couldn't tell already. The spicy friendship theory: Kris doesn't hate Ralsei THAT MUCH, they are just uneasy about them. Alternatively: Kris probably just gets along better with someone like Susie than someone like Ralsei. The climax in every children's movie ever theory: before the events of Deltarune, something happened that made Kris upset at Noelle and it harmed their relationship. (possibly something to do with Des) The BFFSBSROFL (no that acronym does not stand for anything) theory : kris actually gels SO well with susie that they are basically best friends, making Noelle and Ralsei look pathetic in comparison. Alternatively, Kris and Susie have a much deeper history that the Spamton Sweepstakes left out. Alternatively: it could also be that Susie is the first strong friendship Kris has had in a very long time and they are in the honeymoon phase of their friendship. The shippers wet dream theory: Kris has a thing for Susie after the events of ch 1 and is jealous of Noelle. (I claim no financial responsibility for whatever the fuck the shipping part of the fandom may do with this potential bit of information.) The "my parent's friend's kids" theory: Kris never really was that close to Noelle to begin with, Its just that the Dreemur family and the Holiday family go way back and Kris being a kid was just in the middle of it. These are the theories I have so far, let me know if you guys have anything more interesting.

Other things to mention

The Laser prank. During that scene with Noelle with chapter 2, the player finds a switch that requires the player and Noelle to press a button and let each other through the laser barrier. as a player you can suddenly jump off the button before noelle passes as a joke. however, if you go too far and do it right when Noelle is too close to the laser:

you almost hurt Noelle (but she is ok) and then she pulls the same prank on Kris. then:

If you don't go too far with the prank, Noelle simply says "nice teamwork" and you continue on. This is interesting to me for many reasons. here is a few theories I have listed: 1-Kris actually was hurt (unlikely because their HP was not lowered and the player did not touch the laser) 2- Kris actually DOES care about Noelle and is horrified the player almost hurt her 2.5- Or perhaps Kris does care about Noelle and is horrified she did the prank back at them as serious as the laser was. Perhaps Kris has weird feelings about abandonment and self love considering their parents divorce and all that has been going on in this game 3- Kris is just being petty and immature that they got pranked right back. 4- Kris is potentially mis-reading the situation thinking that the player and Noelle are somehow against Kris, when in reality both the player and Noelle are just playing around. Remember that Kris is a young teenager going through a rough patch at home, so it makes sense they are on edge about this kind of thing. 5- I am reading way too deep into this bit.

The Boat Picture with Ralsei listen man. Its no secret Ralsei resembles Asriel. hell there is a STRONG implication that Ralsei is actually Kris's childhood red horns headband considering Ralsei also has red horns.

here is the bit that gets to me sometimes: Later on in Ch 2, you are on a boat ride with ralsei and a photo booth. you have the option to Hug Ralsei, show a peace sign in the wrong direction, or commit cultural appropriation against Berdly in particular (my favorite option yes i am very mature)

why does this sit with me? well-

First: daawwww asgoooooreeee second: what does this mean- there are so many implications, Again i am just going to list theories and speculation: 1- Kris does not appreciate the gremlin that looks suspiciously like their older brother and how said gremlin may be crushing on them, along with the player pushing that along. enough said. 2- Kris is OK with hugs, they just don't like it when their dad gives them a massive cuddly bear hug. 3- kris is being an angsty teen acting like they are too good for hugs. 4- Again I am probably overthinking it and Kris actually does not hate hugs (or hugging ralsei) that much. Overall, I think Kris Kross Applesauce's real problem is less about the hugging and the pranking of Noelle, but rather something deeper. behold!

THE OMEGA THEORY

Kris just wants agency over their own life. It isn't that deep really. It is implied that Kris... honestly doesn't like themselves very much and doesn't like being human. The fact they never grew horns growing up and wore plastic horns all the time was probably the first time Kris felt like an outsider, and all they wanted to do was to be like their family. and now their parents are divorced Their older brother has been off for university and can only come back on certain occasions Sans Undertale is probably fucking their mom (or sans is just messing with you because sans is a hilarious asshole) Kris probably has trauma from whatever happened to December Holiday (which has not been revealed yet other than Spamton sweepstakes hinting) And now, Kris appears to be possessed by SOMETHING. and who the hell knows what and who is posessing kris. it could be you the player doing that or perhaps the player IS kris and that the thing possessing kris is what threw the player in the cage or more. we don't know yet But the thing i know most is that all Kris just wants is to have more control over their own life. Hell considering the implication that Ralsei is the manifestation of Kris's childhood headband, perhaps Ralsei represents a part of who Kris wishes they were. either way It doesn't matter if the player messes with Noelle or hugs Kris's friend that uncomfortably resembles their brother Kris just wants it to be THEIR decision rather than the decision of an omnipotent god that has a strange affliction for hyper-analyzing their life to make an overly-produced Tumblr post. thank you for reading my crap.

[wizardsandcrystals]

Theistic Satanic/Luciferian Journal

@czortofbaldmountain made this post and I decided to answer them! If you're curious about reading about my practice here are my responses!

Who is Lucifer/Satan to you personally and what is his role in your life?

He is my teacher, mentor, and father– He comforts me, teaches and encourages me, as well as strengthens me in my beliefs and against fears and anxieties. I however do not see him necessarily as a ‘god’ or ‘deity,’ and it is in my particular experience that is not how he would wish to be seen. “No gods, no masters” includes him too.

How did you become a Luciferian/Satanist and why do you remain one?

I found out about non-theistic Satanism through a leftist atheist YouTube channel, who happened to post a video about Paradise Lost, describing how Satan is a representation of liberation and is a sympathetic character and was a start of romantic Satanism. This intrigued me, and he had followed this video with a vlog of a Satanist convention and interviews with Satanists. I felt deeply moved with the leftist and anti-fascist political views that it encouraged as a belief system that had already aligned with my current political beliefs. Through exploring Tumblr, I saw that Luciferian and theistic-Satanists existed. While I had never felt any connection to any deity or particular vein of belief or religion and after leaving Christianity have always been a mixture of spirituality in my witchcraft but it also very atheistic and logical. However, the idea of an actual Satan was so incredibly comforting. My general theory is that if you believe it, it is true to you and you choose whether something is real or not when it comes to spirits, whether or not in reality it is true. I choose to believe that Satan is real, even though I know that this image of Satan (and other demons and spirits) is something that I have in a sense made up in my own head. Therefore, ironically, I identify as an atheistic theistic Satanist witch. 

As for why I remain a Satanist, I choose to stay as one, the community that I have found for myself is incredibly important to me. Two, as I mentioned, I find him comforting, and I have only had good experiences with him and other demons. I have a tendency to be very hard on myself and he keeps me sane in reminding myself that the pleasures of life are okay. He also encourages me to be skeptical and learn. I have always loved learning.

If you were raised in a different religion, what is your relationship to it?

I was raised as a non-denominational Christian in a very small local church. My relationship with Christianity in general has become less fiery and touchy as I know that people can be a leftist Christian who doesn’t force their beliefs on people. However, I am still extremely critical of those who use their religion to harm and bludgeon their own values into law. Which, in the United States, is an extremely common theme. I have and will continue to be vocal about the Christian fascists that are in the government. The church that I grew up in falls under this. The pastor’s son is a state representative in which I live. His father constantly speaks right wing conservative garbage which has completely warped my parents. The community there is very tight-knit to the point of possible cult-like behavior that I have to pretend to be a part of due to my current living situation. Talking to my parents and their constant bringing up of their brand of Christianity leaves me still feeling quite hurt and angry. 

Do you practice magic? If yes, how does it relate to your religion?

Yes, I do and it predates my Satanism. After becoming an atheist, I said fuck it, I want to learn about everything that was deemed off limits. Through Tumblr, I learned about witches and instantly was interested. I still see it as a helpful therapeutic placebo effect to calm and soothe the mind. Does placing ingredients in a jar actually protect you when you’re nervous about traveling? No, but the idea of having something physical is comforting and allows that anxiety to lessen. Remember kid, magic is not a replacement for common sense and medical advice!

Do you work with or venerate demons other than Lucifer/Satan or other beings associated with him? If not, would you like to? Which ones?

I work with a couple demons including Caim, Bune, Vine, and if you consider them separate, Baphomet. In terms of Caim, I call him in my divination practice and work with animals, Bune for my money/work magic, and Vine for protection and justice magic.

Do you consider to be worshipping Lucifer/Satan? How do you personally feel about worship in general?

No. As said previously he is not a god or deity to me which is what worship implies. I feel uncomfortable with worship as a concept as it comes off sometimes as a requirement for a good relationship with the being like in Christianity. In general, I don’t like the idea of hierarchies in any fashion. To worship is to say they are above or better than you in some way. No being is more important than another whether physical or metaphysical. 

How do you feel about Christian God?

I have complex feelings about the Christian god. I don’t like the idea of a perfect being that can supposedly do no wrong. One that has requirements to be subservient to him to not experience eternal suffering on top of the suffering that already exists in this world. I also don’t like him taking credit for human accomplishments. However, due to my upbringing, in certain times of fear, I do also call out to him as well. That small voice in my head that Christian guilt still appears on occasion. 

How do you feel about angels? How about Michael specifically?

My denomination I grew up with did not work with/speak much of angels or saints like Catholics do. Angels are a faceless group of beings acting as a guardian for people or an army that do whatever the Christian god says against demons in the spiritual war. Therefore I haven’t got any strong feelings about them. In a sense I do feel pity, because unlike fallen angels like Satan they are deluded, and in another anger at their inability to question the god they serve.

Do you work with or venerate any Christian spirits?

Nope, and I don’t plan to. 

Write a Luciferian/Satanist poem.

Be the wolf not sheep

Be the stars that light the dark

Uplift the inner god

What aspects of Lucifer/Satan are currently the most significant in your practice?

Resilience. I am going through a rough patch in my life in which I am away from the people and places that I love, have no money, and forced to hide pretty much every aspect of my identity for my own safety. He encourages me to live on and continue to strive for what I want. 

What symbols are significant to you as a Luciferian/Satanist?

For me, the image of Baphomet or the “as above so below” hands is the most significant. Aesthetically I like the inverted pentagram and the Leviathan’s Cross but they don’t hold any religious significance to me.

Write a Luciferian/Satanist prayer.

Satan, guide us in thy flame and morning light

Keep us within thy protective black wings

Come forth and help us raise ourselves up against oppression

Remind us of our common humanity and ourselves as honorable gods

Ave Satanas!

Nema

Is there anything you would like to change about your practice? How can you do that?

I wish that I could be more consistent and diversify my magic. I have worked to be more consistent over the past year but mental health will always affect that. As for diversifying my magic, I need to do more research. I have been intrigued by numerology and astrology, but never fully dove into either. 

If you were not always a Luciferian/Satanist, how did you change since you became one?

I have become much more comfortable and enthusiastic to learn about the occult and the ability to more comfortably engage with Christianity. When I was an atheist or even a Christian I felt so incredibly uncomfortable with interacting with it on my own without the use of a mediator. Now, I am more okay with doing so critically and from a perspective that I’m sure of on my own. Doesn’t make it any more enjoyable, but I can more easily pick it apart.

What is your favorite text relating to your religion and why?

My favorite text is probably Rev. Cain’s The Infernal Gospel, purely for its digestibility, and it's easy to build off of your own personal beliefs. I also enjoyed Ellen Pagel’s The Origin of Satan as it granted me a historical and factual reference for the development of the idea of Satan and Christianity. It really helped me understand Christianity not from an ideological standpoint, but as a text and idea that reflected the humans that lived through social and political events. A way of depicting what the human authors were going through.

What are your favorite and least favorite fictional depictions of Lucifer/Satan and why?

I have not really seen any fictional depictions of Satan, outside of Paradise Lost, that I particularly like. Demons in general on the other hand, my favorite depictions

What has Luciferianism/Satanism helped you with?

Confidence, dealing with that self-critical voice, and giving myself purpose.

What Luciferian/Satanist stories are important to you and why? (ex. stories of the Garden of Eden or the Rebellion of Angels)

The Rebellion of Angels for sure. The act of rejecting dictatorship and embracing yourself and creating your own domain really resonates with me. 

Do you listen to music with Luciferian/Satanist themes? Do you feel your religion has any impact on what you like to listen to?

I adore punk music now. Music that directly calls out injustice or is about embracing yourself as a weirdo and outsider. I jumped into this kind of music after identifying as a Satanist but always had an interest–it makes it that much more meaningful to me. I also listen to some demon hymns.

Write a thank you note to Lucifer/Satan.

Thank you for bringing out the best qualities in me. Caring for me. Allowing me to feel more comfortable in being myself!

What do you find to be hard about being a Luciferian/Satanist?

The hardest is hiding it and the horrid misguided people have about it. At one point in my life I didn’t have to hide it and was quite open about it but now I cannot and it's so frustrating. I also find it frustrating hearing Christians fear-monger about us when it is obvious they have no idea what we really do or are. Constantly being blamed for every bad thing. A good recent example of this is the destruction of the TST Baphomet statue this past winter by a fundamentalist Christian that spewed lies about how horrible we are on TV. Thankfully, the man is being charged for a hate crime and is being tried in May. I hope that the charges stick.

What about being a Luciferian/Satanist brings you joy?

I love the community it brought me and the (near) daily rituals that allow me to engage with the spiritual in a meaningful way to me.

Do you feel alienated sometimes as a Luciferian/Satanist? Do you have or would like to have some kind of community? If you don't but would like to, how can you find it?

Yes. I would love a better in-person community. The one group IRL that I have visited was alright but I do not think I vibe well with them so I haven’t gone back. However I have a couple discord servers and an online satanic church that have been a near lifeline for me. 

Describe your ideal altar or sacred space.

I nearly had it and you can find it on my tumblr. My decks, idols, crystals, jars, candles, and (what I never got to do) my Baphomet tapestry.

What songs, if you have any, remind you of Lucifer/Satan?

TX2-Randy McNally (No Love Like Christian Hate)

Pierce the Veil-King for a Day

Pansy Division-Blame the Bible

Bad Religion-Punk Rock Song

Nine Inch Nails-Happiness in Slavery

Is fun a part of your religious practice and why yes or no? If yes, in what ways? If not, would you like to incorporate it? How?

Yes to an extent. My fun is including pop culture demons to my practice such as Sebastian from Black Butler or Crowley from Good Omens. They bring me happiness. I sometimes wish I could be more silly with it but it is hard because the side of Satan I see and have interacted with is quite serious.

Do you have any Luciferian/Satanist UPGs? What are they?

My UPG is that he loves roses and chocolate, loves physical touch (I have felt him actually touch me multiple times), and in general a quiet man. 

What are some interesting things about your local devil lore? Research if you don't know.

I have tried to do some research for my local area, however, most I’ve been able to find are in Kansas about an hour away. Some say there is a chair that is a portal to hell, a cemetery or that the devil appears in a cemetery’s chapel on Halloween, and a stairway that leads to hell. In general, it seems Stull, Kansas is particularly steeped for devil folklore.

If you have any, what are your favorite songs you associate with Lucifer/Satan or your religion in general?

See 26.

What are your favorite depictions of Lucifer/Satan in visual arts and why? What makes them speak to you?

Le Génie du Mal by Guillaume Geefs, 1848 for its rendition displaying his beauty and his gentleness and L’Ange Dechu (The Fallen Angel) by Alexandre Cabanel, 1847 for how it depicts the rawness of emotion of betrayal by the Christian god. 

Your thoughts on Romantic and Socialist Satanism (if you don't know what they are, research - they are important to the development of Satanism and Luciferianism as religions).

Well I find Romantic Satanism interesting as an academic, its influence on art and literature as a movement off of an accidental sympathetic portrayal seems uniquely…satanic in the twisting of something used to prop up Christian society to create works questioning humanity like Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. I would also argue Rocky Horror Picture Show is a great example. Similarly, Socialist Satanism is a cool political tool that is logical and unique. I am not as familiar with it, however it seems like you could try and compare TST to be a modern (and problematic…and ineffective) rendition . 

Your thoughts on the Bible.

The Bible is a book. A book of myths alongside the mythologizing of history by humans to fit their own beliefs. For example, the worshiping of the golden calf done by Aaron and the jews in the desert while they waited on Moses is a way of shaming a version of Yaweh that originally was in the form of a cow that was still accepted in other sects. The devil was added in later, the use of the word Satan to refer to any nonbeliever. 

Your thoughts on Paradise Lost.

I have only read the beginning as of yet, and from the start it definitely seems that Milton didn’t necessarily mean for Satan to come across as a sympathetic character, but however he did succeed in making him and hell seem pretty damn cool. 

Choose a myth involving Lucifer/Satan and reflect on it.

. The myths of selling your soul to the devil to acquire fame always struck me as odd. Perhaps it's because the idea of fame sounds awful to me.

What has Lucifer/Satan done for you and what can you do for him?

They have given me security and support, and I really want to honor them by continuing my studies and also continuing my offerings. I do need to ask him more for his thoughts and guidance directly. 

Do you meditate as part of your religious practice? Which forms of meditation work best for you, and which do not? Why?

I struggle with meditation, my brain needs stimulation and for my hands to be moving. My version of meditation is usually a couple seconds of quiet in front of my altar I try to do everyday, offering a prayer to the demons.

Do you celebrate any festivals or special days as part of your religious practice?

Holidays I celebrate: 

I do acknowledge the wheel of the year, though not particularly seriously minus Yule and Samhain

Shayreh’s Created Holidays 

Quintessence–Jan 13-14

Florae Infernelle–March 19-20

Flames Out–Sept 15

Ars Trivium–Nov 5

Lightrising–Dec 19-25

Have you ever done an official dedication? If yes, what did you do and how did it affect you? If not, would you like to?

No, I haven’t. I would like to at some point. I see it as an extremely serious commitment and would want it to be done properly and not something done rushed. 

If you were baptized, have you ever revoked your baptism? If yes, how did you do that and what did it change? If not, would you like to or not? Why?

I was baptized when I was a preteen. However I don’t particularly see it as necessary to revoke it at this particular point as it's pretty obvious that I no longer serve the christian god (I didn’t really even when I was baptized) and when I get around to doing an official dedication I believe that formally revokes it.

If you make offerings, what do you like to give Lucifer/Satan (it doesn't have to be physical)? What do you think he likes to receive?

I do make offerings, less often than I’d like/used to when I was living on my own. Now I have to be much more secretive. I offer cigarettes I’m smoking, chocolate, and coffee nowadays. I used to have a jar that I’d recharge every night with moonwater. He also enjoys roses and alcohol.

If you use pre-written prayers, what is your favorite one and why?

I don't usually but I do have a prayer book that includes this one in Latin–and I love any excuse to speak it:

 Sit laus Satanas: laudate Satanas: laudata Satanas.

Satanas in nomine nigra flamma.

Potestatem filios terrae.

Et Rex magnus, glorificamus te iungere

Tantum ergo Sacramentum Veneremur virtutis tuae satanas,

Dominum nostrum de terra deorsum regionum

Satan regit et fortis materia, et floria, et imperium sempiternum

Sic factum est!

Rewrite a Christian prayer. Try to not make it a simple name switch, but something actually fitting the context of your religion.

We never had any scripted prayers in my old church, so honestly I don’t know any minus the Lord’s Prayer that was said to be a template on how to pray–it was supposedly not meant to be recited or prayed word-for-word. 

How do you see Lucifer/Satan? It doesn't have to be based on visions, you can just describe how you imagine him to look when you think of him. You don't have to limit yourself to visualizing either, especially if you struggle with it! What scents do you associate with him, for example?

Most UPG I have is the forms for Satan and the other demons I interact with. The form he comes to me in is similar to Elias from the anime The Ancient Magus Bride, sometimes with large leathery wings like a bat that he wraps me in. Caim comes to me as a blackbird most of the time. Bune as a large dragon with multiple heads. Vine as a man with the head of a lion in golden armor on a white steed.

How has your practice changed since you have started?

My practice is much more slimmed down and streamlined with me moving back in with my christian parents. I cannot have a proper altar how I’d like, I have to hide all my decks, I had to leave my dedicated clothing and items behind. 

Do you consider Lucifer/Satan to be a deity?

No, as previously stated.

Did you use to be afraid of Lucifer/Satan? What were you afraid of and how did it change? Do you have some remaining fears?

I wasn’t particularly afraid of him, more afraid of Hell and eternal suffering. I never understood blaming all bad things on just one random guy. What was his purpose if you already supposedly knew that god was unbeatable? My main anxiety working with Satan was the human judgements.

Your thoughts on Hell.

I still get anxiety around what if all that's said about how horrible Hell is is real. My rational thoughts say that it doesn’t really exist. 

Do you consider blasphemy or inversion a part of your religious practice? Why yes or no? If yes, what is its role?

No. I never felt particularly strongly about being a christian when I was a believer and not really one to be vengeful towards god for just growing up how I was raised. I suppose that falls in line with how a being only really exists or is true to the person who believes him. I wasn’t ever a particularly dedicated believer in the first place. I’m more to go around shaming christo-fascists/nationalists than the christian god.

How can you fight the far right presence and ideas in the Left Hand Path community?

Check your sources. Look for dog whistles. Learn the talking points. Call them out and defend/stand up for those who are being attacked. 

How is your religion present in your daily life?

It's not super consistent but I try to light incense and cleanse my room and self, pray at my altar, sign the inverted cross, draw a ‘demon of the day’ card, anoint myself morning and evening with sun and moon water, and spray myself with my dedicated cologne.

Do you like complex rituals, or do you prefer to keep things simple? Why?

I typically have low spoons so I like simplicity, however I do enjoy more complex rituals on special occasions. They do tend to make me feel particularly close with Satan.

What aspects of Lucifer/Satan do you feel are most present in your practice? Would you like to explore some other ones? Why or why not?

The most present aspects are that I try and participate in activism and spreading awareness of key humanitarian issues, I study and love to learn, I love breaking gender and sexual norms, and strive for my independence. 

What do you think happens after we die? Is it important to you or not? Why?

My religious thoughts are that Hell is just a place where you spend eternity with Satan and the other demons, working with them to help continue to guide humanity when we die. Again my logic says it's an eternal sleep without dreams.

What things about your practice are the most important to you and why?

Divination. It’s my longest lasting aspect and it keeps me focused in my practice.

How would you describe what your religion is about to someone who knows nothing about it?

I have described it as live and let live, do what you want forever, and fuck bigots in a trenchcoat. 

Where do your ethics come from?

My ethics come from a humanitarian perspective to support and respect all. Let people live even if they’re different from you. Fight oppressive systems and those who purport it. Uplift each other. Inaction is an action.

How do your ethics relate to your religion?

They fall in line, however I am not as quick to anger or revenge as stereotypically seen in Satanist philosophy. I also am not as individualistic and highly believe in community and going against the USA’s obsession with hyper individuality. Socialism rules.

What do you appreciate about Lucifer/Satan?

I appreciate his softness that compliments his firmness. He is absolutely not afraid to roast you and then hold you.

Do you use any kind of divination as part of your religious practice? If yes, what methods work best for you?

I use tarot, oracle cards, my ‘demon of the day’ deck, and my pendulum on occasion. 

How does cultural Christianity affect you as a Luciferian/Satanist? What things you do or beliefs you hold are culturally Christian? If you live in a Christian culture, it's likely more than you think even if you were not raised in the religion.

I mostly fall in celebrating some culturally christian holidays from a secular perspective like Christmas (give gifts and be jolly with those you love) and Valentine’s Day (an excuse to be lovey dovey with your partner). Easter is for chocolate.

If you are interested in Lilith (or any closed figure), what are the qualities of her that speak to you? What open figures with those qualities could you explore in your practice instead? Research if you don't know.

Nope. I’ve never been interested in anything related to her. 

What does it mean to you to be a Luciferian/Satanist?

It means bettering yourself and others the best you can for the sake of the greater good.

Is sexuality a part of your religious practice? What is its role in it?

Yes but not to a major degree. I do like dedicating orgasms on occasions and do find queer BDSM with my partner to be beautiful and godly. I have also had Satan come to me in the middle of having sex with him and tell me he chose my partner for me. It was so intense we had to stop because I started crying. It was so moving and special to me that Satan knows me so well to choose someone so wonderful for me. 

If you were planning a ritual or any religious activity for a group of people, what would it be and how would it look?

I’m not sure, perhaps dedicating acts of service or activism with those in need.

What non-satanic philosophies and practices do you find inspiring?

I find the idea of Socialism to be quite inspiring. Fuck capitalism. 

What makes your religious practice personal and truly yours?

The fact that I almost exclusively do sigils, spells, hexes, and rituals that I have created myself (either on the fly or planned) and have a personal relationship with Satan.

What would you like to change about Luciferianism/Satanism and why?

I’d like to change its stereotypes and inaccurate reputation/representation so that we can gain better understanding from the wider public. I also would like for non-theistic Satanists to not try and erase theistic Satanists or claim we’re just as crazy as Christians.

What ideas in LaVey's works do you think are connected to his fascist sympathies and how can you challenge their presence in the LHP community? Do you think you were influenced by them? How can you deconstruct them?

I never interacted much with LaVey’s works–what little I did instantly turned me off as it struck me as generally hostile– and I have never interacted with any LaVeyans either. I stick close to my own current community. However, his belief in the Satanist superiority/hierarchy and beliefs in eugenics is inherently disgusting. It directly goes against what Satanism stands for–the equality and divine in all humans.

What plants and animals in your local environment are associated with Lucifer/Satan? Research!

Aralia spinosa grows in Missouri and is nicknamed the Devil’s Walking Stick!

What popular ideas in your religion do you disagree with and why?

To a certain extent, the inner god. I believe in all beings being on equal ground and the word ‘god’ assumes you rule over others absolutely. While you can to an extent be self-determined, there are just things outside your control. 

What texts were influential for you as a Luciferian/Satanist and how?

I think the most influential text has been Paradise Lost. Just because it is what convinced me to look into Satanism seriously.

How can you connect your religious practice to your culture?

I don’t identify with a particular culture, I'm just a bland white suburban American with no connection to any familial or regional roots and traditions. 

Would you like to incorporate your hobbies or interests into your religious practice? How can you do that?

I love to make gothic and satanic themed sims builds! I also love fashion and including satanic themes and motifs in my outfits!

Research and describe a local folk demon or a folk demon from the culture of your ancestors. If you really can't find one, just describe any folk demon you find interesting.

I found some mysterious monsters rather than demons, but one is the Ozark Howler or the Devil Cat that supposedly takes the form of a large cat like a cougar (however they don’t live in this area) and glowing eyes that can let out a howl that can kill however if you hear it three times. Some people apparently say it’s the size of a bear with shaggy long hair and horns.

Describe a Christian story you perceive differently as a Luciferian/Satanist. How and why is it different?

The myth of Job is an interesting one, Satan and God making a bet on him to test his faithfulness. As a Satanist, my feelings are mixed. On one hand, like in Noah’s Ark, it shows the Christian God’s ability to be cruel and propensity for killing for the sake of his own interest. Especially as Job was supposedly the most faithful man and following God’s will. On the other hand, the actual enactment of the violence was done by Satan. However, when someone hires a hitman, it's not just the hitman who gets tried for murder. Satan is forthright in his actions, even offering Job an out of his suffering, sympathetic to him by offering him the same offer he gave his fellow angels at the great fall–renounce God in order to be free of his tyranny. If anything, at least Satan is willing to be honest and put his face to his actions while God sat invisible, immoveable,  and deaf to Job’s losses.

Your thoughts on the concept of sin.

Sin doesn’t exist, it's merely a way for christians to shame others.

Do you have some personal religious traditions? Describe them.

I’ve only been a Satanist for a year, so I don’t have any personal traditions.

Do you perceive Lucifer and Satan as the same or different and why?

 For me Satan, Lucifer, and Baphomet are a trinity–three in one, each representing an aspect of the same being. Satan being the rebellious political spirit, Lucifer being the skeptical and knowledge-seeking spirit, and Baphomet being the celebration of the human experience and diversity spirit (e.g. inner-gods). They are all obviously intertwined and participate together in the Satanist system, you cannot separate them. I generally refer to all of them as either Satan/Lucifer, however if I want to focus on a particular aspect I will call them by the associated name.

Does your religion bring you comfort? If yes, how?

Yes, as it provides me with a sense of control and a sense of community. 

Describe a folk story about Lucifer/Satan, preferably a local one.

The closest thing I could find are the folk tales of the Ozark Howlers, essentially the american hellhound or Black/Old Shuck. Not exactly about him, but I’m having a h

How do you connect with your own divinity? When do you feel it the most?

When I’m with my partner. They compliment my personality and bring out my best, stretching me and helping me grow!

Recognizing your inherent worth and divinity also means recognizing it within other beings. How does it affect your treatment of them and do you think something about it should change?

I think that I need to be braver and more active with irl interactions. I tend to be a hermit and therefore just don’t interact much with others to appreciate them.

Do you have an interest in the dark and macabre, for example, vulture culture or certain kinds of music? What makes it speak to you? Do you think it intersects with your religion? If yes, how?

Oh yes. I’m fascinated by dark mysteries and ghost stories, goth decor and alt fashion. I also like spending time in graveyards and speaking/being with the spirits. I think it does as I often do death work and find death to be an aspect of life–something that connects us all as humans.

Choose an aspect of Lucifer/Satan and reflect on it.

His thirst for knowledge. I love learning even though it's hard for me to structure time and focus for myself. I like having something in common with him.

Do you consider yourself a pagan? Why or why not?

Not particularly, as I don’t believe in any nature-based beings or practice much nature-based magic. 

Is taking care of yourself a part of your practice? How?

Very much so however I’m still not great at it, I’m working on it and try not beat myself up about it. I try to work on hygiene and skincare.

What makes you appreciate earthly life?

Food and sex for physical appreciation. If you’ve experienced the power behind being in a choir, there’s nothing more beautiful and human.

If you have ex-Christian trauma, has the religion you practice now helped you? How?

I do. My religion has helped me develop my own sense of self outside my parents and my ex partner. To be braver. To be more myself. 

What values and virtues do you associate with Lucifer/Satan? How can you make them more present in your life?

Bravery is what I most associate with him. I also associate rebellion and love with him. I definitely need more bravery–I’m an extremely anxious person. I need to challenge myself more.

Has your religion helped you with accepting yourself? If yes, how?

Definitely. It accentuates my queerness and encourages me to not be so harsh on myself. I’m horribly self-critical.

What makes you feel connected to Lucifer/Satan?

Reading. Academics. Church.

Are you Luciferian or Satanist? Why are you on this path and not the other? Is there something you appreciate about the other one and would like to incorporate into your own practice? If yes, how can you do that?

I identify as a Satanist, though I do have Luciferian tendencies to have Lucifer and Satan as two aspects of the same being and to separate him from Christian lore. However I do not believe in a light and dark and believe spiritual goals are only important to you if you believe so. If you are a casual Satanist because that’s what suits you that’s cool.

What things about Christianity do you think are harmful? What do you appreciate and is it something you would like to take inspiration from? If yes, how can you do that?

Harmful things: blind faith, tendency for text literalism, subservience and superiority, proselytizing, and us vs. them innateness in believers and non believers. I do appreciate taking care of others and loving thy neighbor. I try to do those things daily.

Write down some problematic things about your own religion. How can you counteract them?

The ability for independence to turn into superiority/right-wing fascism and cultural appropriation. I hope the prevalence of anti-fascist Satanists and calling them and those practices out continue to grow and raise awareness.

What good things do you think your religion brings to the world? How can you make the world better as a Luciferian/Satanist?

I think it brings a sense of community to those who are rejected by society or oppressed by established systems. Supporting and being active in your Satanist and local community is your number one way to make the world better.

What makes you proud of yourself?

This is a surprisingly hard question. I’m proud of how I took a giant chance to move to the UK for those few years. The best few years of my life and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

What brings you pleasure? Do you ever feel guilty for enjoying harmless things? If yes, why and how can you help yourself release that guilt?

Food. FOOD. I struggle with disordered eating and feel extremely guilty. It's one of my main things I am working on with Baphomet and Satan. They remind me that you can and should enjoy food. You should have balance at the same time to make sure you stay healthy and don’t spend all your money on it. 

What interesting things about your religion have you learned recently?

I recently learned that Agrat and Azazel enjoy weed lmao.

What are the subjects in the realm of your religion you would like to learn more about?

I want to learn more about more goetic demons, as I’m only familiar with a few! Especially lesser known ones! Also Leviathan too.

[luveline]

dear jade,

Im 23 and I would say I’m doing ok the scheme of things. I moved to a new city and my job is meh and I have friends and it seems fine but I can’t help but feel lonely especially because I have a p rocky relationship with my family members and sometimes all I want is someone whose excited to see me and do errands with me. I like my friends but most of them r actually moving soon and I’m scared about having to try to make new friends and idk I guess I was wondering if you had any tips on feeling lonely bc I really want a bf but also the mature part of my brain knowing having a bf won’t fix anything per say.

Hey!

My tips for feeling lonely. I think I was a very lonely person for a long time, and I'll give you my advice rather than what a therapist or a professional might say, so please take it with a pinch of salt. EDIT : I'm not trying to say I know better than a therapist btw I don't just that you can find that everywhere so I wanted to be more personable

I think if you really want a boyfriend, you're right in thinking it won't fix everything, but I also don't think it's a bad idea. The want to be in a relationship is one that most people will experience in their lives, it's very natural, and of course lots of things can go wrong and you can end up very hurt, but I still think that looking for love and a partner to be with wouldn't fix everything but it would probably be a good thing. BUT. it is also very very important to have friends and family too. Friends are so hard😭 and they move away and even if you make new ones you won't know who they are, but I think the standards for friendship are kind of skewiff these days, so my advice to you is to try and make relationships with people that are casual in a sense, but honest and caring, too. I know it isn't easy, you can't just magically clap your hands and make it happen, and there's a balance to be struck between being forgiving with people but not wanting them to walk all over you and your boundaries. (Sorry this paragraph is a little behemoth but hopefully my main point is that a boyfriend won't fix things but it probably won't do you any harm to have love and intimacy in your life, but don't try to fill the gaps that friends and family are leaving with a boyfriend because it may leave you feeling worse (which I'm sure was your original point, sorry😭))

I'm sorry to hear about your rocky relationships with family and I certainly won't stand here and tell you to try and fix them because family can be impossible and hurtful and too much to deal with. I hope things get better with them but I also understand that they might not, and I want to tell you that that's okay! Family by blood is real but family can also be anything you want it to be, including friends or a partner or people in your community. It's tough though, and I'm sorry!

ANYWAYS you didn't actually ask for any of the above and I'm really sorry if what I've said so far is unsolicited or incorrect, I can't pretend to know every detail of your situation but I think i can understand how you're feeling, like things are fine but loneliness is still pervasive anyways

When I'm feeling really really really lonely, there are a couple of things I do. I talk to friends (and not to tell them I'm lonely, maybe just to send a video or something) and I don't mind admitting that I don't have tons of friends, but the very best one I've made was through the Internet, so I definitely recommend trying to make friends via the Internet with people who have your interests in common! Friends in real life are sometimes friends because we see them a lot, which isn't a bad thing (it's actually GOOD to be friends with people who are different from us) but often means that we can find ourselves a bit unsure of where we stand or how to keep the friendship going when they move away.

I do all the usual things the Internet tells you to do, too, because this stuff sucks but it really works, like taking a very hot shower or going for a walk. Sometimes it absolutely doesn't work and then you're just walking around feeling lonely and miserable though, but it's worth a try. sometimes we feel lonely because we realise how unhappy we are and that we don't have anyone who's worried about how unhappy we are, if that makes sense? Like a consequence of the human condition, we actually do want attention when we feel shitty and there's no crime in that.

But sometimes all the usual stuff doesn't work! When I was at my Loneliest and most depressed, where I really truly could not see a light at the end of the tunnel kind of situation, I turned to writing. It literally saved me and saved my life and made it one worth living (as someone who doesn't have very much ambition). I think that finding a hobby and trying to master it or at least trying to create can really do wonders for a lonely person because it gives you a sense of worth or a sense of purpose outside of personal relationships. I always tell people I think they should start writing but what I mean is that finding a way to express yourself or finding a way to make things that you can look at with pride is great.

But obviously one hobby isn't going to get rid of all your loneliness, and I don't think it necessarily has to. I was recently talking to someone about this kind of thing and we spoke about this quote from a poem by ocean zuong, "loneliness is still time spent with the world." You will feel loneliness at different points of your life for the rest of time and so will I, and it's going to be very painful at some points, but I think if we can try to look at loneliness as more neutral, we can feel lonely without putting pressure on ourselves to fix it. It would be very tiring for you if you were always expected to fix your own loneliness. Sometimes there's nothing you can do and im so sorry to say that and to hear about how you're feeling, because it's not fair. But loneliness isn't like hunger, there's no guarantee that you can make it better by doing any one thing, you just have to hope that the world is going to be kind to you. When it isn't, you have to be kind to yourself! Try to treat yourself as you'd treat someone else going through a hard time, get yourself a treat if you can and remember that just because you're lonely doesn't mean you deserve to be, you're a unique person with all these interesting things about you that I'm sure people are one day going to discover and love, I'm sure people already do!

[coeluvr]

Hey, I've been thinking about something and I'm wondering if it's too spoilery to ask or not.

It's a more general question so it wouldn't necessarily be about MC, but it's about people's reactions to stuff related to a situation like MC's in.

You explained before how it's not that uncommon for people to have other relationships in marriages like that one, but also that being in a relationship with the king's consort would still raise some eyebrows and some people would really see it as pretty awful in general and not a good thing for the involved individuals' reputation.

But you also said in some instances, depending on choices, we'd be able to not be the consort anymore - well, not to Luceris. And that got me thinking... what do people tend to think if something like that happens? Like the consort has a relationship with someone, but then suddenly they are NOT the consort anymore, and marry that other person they had a relationship with prior. Because well, they were obviously loyal to that person since the start and married THEM as soon as possible.

Does that make things better for some? Worse? Did that even happen before?

Don't worry if it's too spoilery though! Since it's hard to tell from a player's PoV, I thought there is no harm in asking, but I can't know if it's something that will be shown in game or not!

Still, thank you for taking the time to read this!

Hi! 👋 You always send me interesting questions, it's nice to know someone thinks about this story haha

In most royal scenarios, it's common for royalty to have one official spouse and a couple of lovers. However, when it comes to THE Consort, they must obtain both the Emperor's permission and approval to engage in romantic relationships with others.

There is sort of a criteria for the lovers but what really matters in regards to MC is that the lover cannot be someone of importance.

For example, they can be the 3rd child of a Duke but not the 1st. Furthermore, they can't be a royal, unless their status is really low, such as being the eighth child of a ruler.

Essentially their status has to be so low or insignificant that becoming the lover of the Consort is the highest title they have. Their identity has to be just the lover of the consort and nothing else.

Now that that's out of the way, you can see how none of the ROs qualify to be an official Luceris-Approved lover to MC which is why their relationship, if it goes public, would be classified as an affair and cheating which leads to a scandal. That is why there are eyebrows raised and such, if it was approved then people wouldn't care that much.

The public wouldn't care if the Consort wasn't the Consort anymore and married someone else because they would be stripped of their title and privileges and would live as a regular citizen. The public would probably rejoice if this happens to MC lol.

Since the lover would be equally unimportant as the now ex-Consort, they can marry and do what their heart desires. For MC though, they can marry but never have children because their eyes would be passed down and we can't have peasant-but-royal-eyes kids running around town.

Honestly, it hasn't happened before (I'm talking about a Consort that willingly left the Crown and married their lover) because people don't want to downgrade in terms of lifestyle. It's a win win to them if they can just have lovers while also be someone important and live a lavish life.

I hope I answered your questions, if I said bs and didn't answer what you actually wanted then just send me another ask! 🫶

[devildevotee]

Hello, thank you for sharing your experiences with demonaltry (spelling???) here. It's helped me a lot in figuring out what to do.

I've had an interest in reaching out for some time now, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for it yet. I feel like if I don't force myself to do it, that I'll never actually dive in though. Due to this, I was curious if you have any advice on how to start with either Lucifer and Baphomet? I've felt a pull towards them both for a while, but the only experience I have with any spirits or entities is through deities. While I've done research, I don't actually know how to reach out to demons. Do I need to protect myself in any way? Do I need to do anything specific? Should I set up an entire altar first or wait to hear if the demon actually wants to be around me or not? Do spirits impersonate demons? I had someone tell me that Baphomet was a "trickster spirit" for the entire year that they had been working with them. It made me much more hesitant to reach out at all because I've never encountered a trickster spirit before.

i'll split up your questions in my response if that's okay nonnie! just a warning though, my opinion is formed from experience and there's no guarantee it'll be the same for you. this is just what i've had the most success with!

I was curious if you have any advice on how to start with either Lucifer and Baphomet?

genuinely, i approached demons like i did any deity. i called out to them, prayed to them, talked to them, and gave them offerings and devotional acts in exchange for their company and blessings. it doesn't have to be anything complex, nothing is absolutely required - don't feel like you have do do anything. maybe spend some time figuring out what feels right for you - again, if you're most comfortable interacting with deities, i've never had a demon say their treatment has to be particularly different from that.

Do I need to protect myself in any way?

demons can be malevolent or benevolent forces depending on who you ask. i've never had to do anything more complex than asking lucifer to help keep me safe from anyone who wishes to do me harm, be it a spirit or a person. i don't think it's an insult to them to have a form of protection if you think that will help you relax around them, but like, communicate with them why you feel it's necessary. transparent communication is never a bad thing.

Do I need to do anything specific?

no. there's no set rules, just do what works best for you.

Should I set up an entire altar first or wait to hear if the demon actually wants to be around me or not?

demons don't require altars unless that's something you want to present to them as an offering/devotional act. i personally would wait until you have started any sort of relationship with the demon in question, but again, if you want to do it - i don't think they'll complain lol.

Do spirits impersonate demons?

i've seen it happen, but it's much less common than what people make it seem like. if you're suspecting you've gotten in touch with a trickster, don't be afraid to call on the demon they're impersonating. the real, actual demon will kick their ass to the sun and back.

as for baphomet, it depends on who you ask. some people say baphomet isn't an actual demon, some people do. it's ultimately just an opinion someone has and it's up to you on whether you take that on board or not. one thing i'd always encourage is see for yourself on whether you believe it or not - f/ck around and find out.

hope these answers help, nonnie!

[sokkastyles]

I found a... really bad take about how "Azula can't have abused Zuko because abuse is such a vague term!" It's the reblog that's pretty bad lol.

I think you've linked me the original post with a different reblog before, and in general wingsfreedom is a person to be avoided. "When did Azula try to control Zuko?" Indeed. Not like "all your life you've used fear to control people" is a climactic line in Azula's story.

Anyway, the reblogger does two things typical of abuse apologists. The first is to confuse the meaning of words. The next is to try and claim that abuse is too "harsh" a word. Of course abusers don't want you to be able to name the abuse. Also notice the contradiction of the word being both too vague yet too strong to use. The purpose of this kind of argument is to deliberately confuse the meaning of words to silence any argument. That's why these people are so afraid of the word abuse. Calling this fictional character abusive is double plus ungood because I say so!

Anyway, abuse as a word is certainly not vague. There are a couple of casual meanings of the word, but that's not what we mean here. The way we're using the word here, and the most common meaning, actually has a very specific definition involving being cruel to, using, or causing someone harm by taking advantage of a power dynamic, and often in a repeated pattern. As OP themselves said, abuse is about control, and a major theme in Azula's narrative is her need for controlling the people around her in the way her father controlled her, and how that led to her ultimate downfall.

Abuse also usually has to do with interpersonal relationships or breach of social etiquette. Claiming that all the characters are abusive because they are fighting in a war is nonsense, because fighting in a war comes with an understood social contract that both sides will try to harm each other. Nobody has an unfair advantage over anyone else because you don't expect your opponent in battle to not fight you. Now, certain things like torturing POWs ARE breaches of that contract, and are considered abuse. But fighting on the battlefield is not.

What Azula does to Zuko is abuse because she uses her position both as his sister and as her father's favorite child to manipulate him with the intention of causing him harm, whereas Zuko feels an obligation to listen to her both because she is his sister and because he's been conditioned his whole life to see her as superior to him. She absolutely tries to control him, and is able to at various points. She almost gets him to walk into her trap in the first episode they share together.

Also, reducing Azula's relationship to Ty Lee as "being dismissive of her feelings twice in the beach" ignores pretty much every other interaction they have, but I'm not going to list them all. I will say, though, that this take is ignoring that Azula and Ty Lee's whol dynamic in the show is built on Azula threatening harm to Ty Lee for trying to live her own life away from Azula. Ty Lee cannot say no to Azula and lives with the very real threat of what will happen if she does.

With Mai it's more subtle, because Mai is smart enough to realize that she'll be subjected to the same thing Ty Lee was. She doesn't try to say no, but then Azula decides to test her loyalty anyway by refusing the trade for her baby brother. Mai's not visibly frightened but you don't have to be for something to be abusive. The absence of Mai's ability to say no is enough. And we see what happens when Mai finally does say no when Zuko's life is on the line. We also saw how Azula treated Mai when they were children, because she didn't like that Mai had an interest in Zuko instead of all the attention being on Azula. Mai and Ty Lee are not allowed to be full human beings around Azula with their own lives and ambitions. It is laughable that anyone would try to claim Azula cares about Ty Lee's trauma in particular when her response to it is a sarcastic "here we go." I don't think this, in particular, gets talked about enough, how Azula loves Ty Lee when she's fawning after her and Mai when her hatred validates Azula's own, but has total disdain for them when it's not about her.

And no, there is no definition of abuse that says abusers can't change. They certainly can. It's extremely difficult, especially when the abuser benefits from abusing people and sees no need to change, and that's why you see a lot of literature that talks about how victims should not try to change the abuser or assume that they will. Because protecting yourself is more important. That's why it's not a victim's responsibility to change their abuser, but nobody said abusers can't change. The reason why Azula can't change is because she does not care and will not admit that she hurt others. Someone like that won't change because they don't see a need to, but people like that also know that they can use your desire to see them change against you. Abusers often promise to change, and some even may have true intentions of doing so, but true change is hard. And if it is a victim's responsibility to change their abuser, it also still allows the abuser access and control to the victim, which is the thing they need to continue being abusive. We see Azula do this when she realizes she took her cruelty a step too far with Ty Lee, for example. An abuser giving a half-assed apology because they realize they might lose the fawning adoration they crave from their victims is nothing new. And it is deeply disturbing that these people seem to genuinely not recognize, or want other people to not recognize, these things for the red flags they are.

[bardic-tales]

Okay, I am quite curious about something. Do you've some headcanons for any of your couples?

Hi, Leia. Thanks for the question, and I hope you are having a wonderful day. I do have headcanon for all of my couples. Creating their headcanons can become like some people experience earworms for songs.

Again, thanks so much for the ask. It helps me keep my mind off of Loki for a bit and sort of forces me to actually think about the work that I didn't have the heart to pick back up since his diagnosis.

I'm going to answer this by splitting it up between Original and Fandom work. The original work I'm focus on right now is Cold as Ice, so the couple in that are Cyras Giovanna Teresa Covelli da Lucci and Vaene Ectorius Arturis.

The fandom work is The Old Republic: Cynthia Prescost and Darth Noktis. For Uncharted, it's Niamh Donovan and Nathan Drake.

Cyras and Vaene share a few interests. They both have a love for the finer things in life: art, literature, fashion, and exotic dishes.

Their common goal is to bring the Olessan Empire into a glory age. This means that they have to shed their opinions of each other. This will be harder for Vaene when he finally learns the truth about the planned coup.

Both Vaene and Cyras would do anything for their spouse and family. His son was taken far too early from him; Cyras' son was accepted into the ranks of the Knights of Agosto.

Vaene hates how guarded Cyras can be around him. He knows that she had a traumatic experience growing up, and that has caused her heart to have walls around it, but he just wishes that she could lean on him.

Cyras admires the way he seems to command presence in a room without really doing anything. Vaene is a very confident, cocky man, but it is to keep people from becoming too close to him. Vaene admires how strong Cyras is. She was an orphan on the streets of Glyndon, the neighboring country, and she rose to the second important position in the Olessan Empire, the Stewardess.

Fandom Original Character

This is the fanfiction section. Maybe, one day I'll make a fancy header for it. lmao.

Star Wars

My two characters that I usually do this for is Agent Cynthia Prescost, my Imperial Agent, and her lover, Darth Noktis: the player character that was known as Darth Nox.

When they walk side by side, she will often walk with her hands behind her back and fingers interlace. Even though they eventually became bonded, Cynthia still shows this respect to Noktis. He will often tell her to relax.

Cynthia was originally sent by Imperial Intelligence to become Noktis' servant when he was an apprentice to keep tabs on his master: Lord Zash.

As soon as Noktis first saw her, he was struck by a vision of the future. He would be ruling the Empire with her by his side. He often struggled with this vision as she is a human and he is a Zabrak. Noktis is often a slave to his visions, and this makes them easily manipulated.

He often tells her he will kill for her, and this does become a reality. When they were visiting the new empress on Dromund Kaas, their plane is sabotaged. Acina, Cynthia, and Noktis go through the jungles and the Sith Temple to return to Kaas City. Cyn is pregnant at the time. When he found out who put his wife in harm, he used his saberstaff to strike down the aggressor before his gathered allies.

Noktis believes that his love for Cynthia is stronger than any hate he could feel. He told her that both the Jedi and Sith are afraid of the attachment. Hate tends to die when the target dies; love is eternal.

Cynthia often likes to dance for Noktis. He enjoys his private dances, but they are often exhibitionists, too.

Their relationship was inspired by Persephone and Hades.

Due to her upbringing, Cynthia is a bit touch-starved. She enjoys it when he just teases her. As Noktis has immense command over the Force, he tends to use the Force to see to those needs. Noktis loves to indulge in the Force, and as his wife, Cynthia loves to watch.

Uncharted

For Uncharted, this happens five years after the events of Uncharted: A Thief's End. Nathan Drake is a widower; Niamh Donovan is the daughter of the late Arthur "Art" Donovan, the inspiration for Indiana Jones.

Niamh was lovingly crafted to compliment Nathan Drake's traits. I had a friend said that they wished that Niamh was included within the Uncharted Universe.

Nathan is 53 (give or take); Niamh is 31. I always believed that the older you are, the more that age is a number.

There are many activities that the two like to do together. They often discuss history, their past hunting adventures, and drinking bourbon together. Niamh is a bartender, and she made her own drink to compliment Nate's personality. She loves to create it for him.

They share the same surrogate father figure: Victor Sullivan. Sully is old friends with her father. While Nathan, Sully, and Elena were dealing with the events shown in "A Thief's End", Arthur Donovan was abducted by Kira Mitchell, the top lieutenant for Rourke McGlouglin. Sully has refused to leave Niamh's side. In fact, Nate is shocked to find Sully at Sunset Shores in 2020.

Nate and Niamh met at her bar Sunset Shores in Kuta Beach, Bali, as he is searching for her father's journal as a way to revive Cassie and Elena. She served him a beer, as she thought that he lost his wife to one of the Balian Natives, but he quickly shoots that down and says he is a widower.

When they are searching for the location of her father's journal, they first start in his study. Niamh often refused to go in there. Nate accompanies her into the room and even holds her as she cries from the memories before they begin the search for a clue or the location of her father's journal.

Nate still wears his wedding ring, and Niamh never asks him to remove it. She could never ask him to simply "move on", but their love does grow.

When they do find the Ark of the Covenant, Nate will have to have a choice. He will not be able to bring back Cassie, but he could Elena. He would need to exchange the life of someone he loves for the life of his true love. Niamh is afraid he will view her as disposable.

[tenebrisdivina]

I have some questions that are probably very juvenile to someone of your experience. I have worked with and spoken to only a few demons in the past, notably Orobas, Egyn, and Amaymon, the first two of which were pleasant, and the last not so much (extremely awry). I did not bind them and do not wish to. For one I wonder, have you ever had psychosis/obsession/other severe ill effect induced from a demon you were in contact with, or other odd but not necessarily harmful things, like specific cravings (ex. blood)? How do you approach the spirits that induce harm or delusion, or do you just leave them be? I have wanted to revisit demons but my very negative experience with Amaymon has made me wary of them entirely unless my patron is actively condoning the interaction. Is it just a case of proper caution and non-aggressive protection, or is there anything more that could help me avoid a bad experience going forward? (For context I do not recall doing anything that could have offended, other than being an easily manipulated idiot at the time. I didn't have demands, I sought to just speak and build a relationship to begin with, but I fell into a very bizarre state of mind and ill health that only improved when I separated Amaymon from me, and in hindsight sense that it was extremely aggressive, but I do not know what prompted it, if anything.) Thank you for reading.

thankyou for your ask; this is a bit of a long response as i don't know much about your practices or how you actually connected to the demonic etc

To be clear I have not worked with nor connected to any of the demons you have mentioned. Also just to disclaim here; I am not judging the situation nor what happened I am neutral in this; so if my comments come off as judgmental sounding this is not what I meant.

I wonder first of all how did you specifically go about connecting with Them? And what methods did you use? as that may have an effect on what happens. Secondly sometimes a certain demons energy is “too much” in that it is not compatible with our own energies which can make things harder as well. Sometimes demonic energy can induce certain reactions in the humans energy, and it needs an adjustment period. You also mention “separate Amaymon from you” does this mean you tried possession or some such? All this said I do not know enough about the practices nor circumstances to say much more on this.

However it seems to me that it was likely a parasite or being masking as Lord Amaymon, rather then the demonic divine being Himself. (this is actually more common then sometimes is realized) In my view and experience the Dark Lords do not attack/ harm someone who is just connecting with them, and also for no reason. They have better things to do then attack people and have little interest in such a thing. If they are uninterested or have an issue with the person, most likely they will not come through at all. This is not to say that the event did not happen or wasn’t harrowing, just that it may not be as clear as it seemed to be and it may not have been the DL. Within darker energies there can be more room for other things to step into and act as other beings sometimes.( I am writing a post about this soon)

Demonic divine beings in general (especially those known about by humans) do not seek to malevolently harm humans. In my view it is extremely rare that a Demonic Divine Dark Lord would do something unwarranted. For the most part excepting specific demons and demonic races (which tbh humans are not in contact with and they are not known or listed in grimoires) if the Demonic Divine does something like this it can ( and tbh usually is) be a form of teaching, even if it is particularly harrowing. Sometimes the more “egoic” human mindset is not something important to the DL ( at that time) - if there is a lesson that “needs” to happen.  Again, I do not know the specifics so I cannot say for certain about your circumstances. It could potentially be helpful ( if you so choose) to re-evaluate the issue from a different perspective. I am also not of the belief that demons are always going to; be nice, care about you, “light, love” pleasant or amicable even. They can even just not like people and energetically not be compatible. They are individuals as well. All this said; even if there is an issue ( potentially)- I am using this going forward as if it was Amaymon but I personally do not think it actually was) with one demon, does not mean there will automatically be issues or you would be treated poorly by the others of the demonic divine, given they are individual, autonomous beings and keep their own council. It is also possible the demon does not want a connection either.

On to your questions. To note also; if someone/thing seems to be truly inducing actual psychosis and delusion etc ( for legal reasons I need to say this and I do think its important to check to) look to deal with the mundane first and check with a medical profession, to clear that up and make sure it’s not something mundane.

But beyond that;

For the first part yes, I have one specific Dark Lord that I work with does this and I am connected to a few others as well who do this. Before connecting with this Dark Lord I was aware He was like this. The circumstances of our relationship are unique however- but in working with Him, it has definitely been a learning curve. For me personally, I chose to keep being in a relationship with this being and so taught myself to understand His and Their viewpoints and be accepting of it. I think truly, it is a personal decision as to why you want the relationship or to choose to stay in it. It does require developing a new understanding of things and being open to seeing things in a new way.

It is helpful to consider when working with otherworldy beings; is this a chosen behavior on their part or is it just their nature or energies? So; I would question going forward – what is it you are wanting from this being and perhaps it could be gotten from someone else or there are other options? If there are no other options- assuming They (are open to connecting and working with you in the first place and it is a chosen behavior) and They continue treating you that way; are you prepared for that and learning to deal with it? ( with this I am mainly meaning god-level beings- who are not easily dealt with)

I think however in general terms; that unless you are willing to “adapt” or deal with such interactions (because sometimes it is simply Their nature or energies as well), then beings like this ( who treat you this way) should be left alone- unless there is a specific and good reason to go and interact with them. For example:  if there is something you can only get from interacting with them- mostly with the demonic divine however and deities- there are others who are within the same ”wheelhouse” so to speak- that could be more amenable and “easier” to work with and you can ask to be guided to Them as well.  If you do continue to interact with these beings then I think you should be open and aware of possibly being “hurt” by this, as it can just be their way, and it is something to consider. It is a choice.

 Otherworldy beings in general are not like humans and don’t have the same mindsets, proclivities, values, energies etc. the further you go away from human earthen realm the more obvious and potentially more dangerous it is. So what is important to the human may not be to them. Yes, you can try to protect yourself and if you chose to keep working with them, then setting boundaries around what is and isn’t appropriate for you is important. Knowing your limits for example if it is a dangerous energy. One should also not “expect” to be cared for or about by otherworldy beings either. By this I mean, that if one truly wants to interact with otherworldy beings who are further away from the humans realms (and demonic can be) that viewing things from a human-centric perspective is quite unhelpful. So also try to learn and understand where the being is coming from. Sometimes however, you just can’t and that’s okay- we can’t comprehend everything and the human brain can’t either.

In my experience as much as some mages like to think they are powerful or god like etc they really aren’t, especially in comparisons to a DL. It is my view that Demonic divine cannot be bound or controlled period and what the Solomonic grimoire authors bound was not truly the demonic divine.

For protection; it is often more helpful to know yourself deeply and to know what you can and cannot tolerate. I do think that asking your patron for aid in this is helpful and a good idea, your protection should really be specific to you. The way I view it is, if you are actually connecting with a demonic divine being and something is going awry or feels that way to you, simply ask them to leave or stop and they most often will ( sometimes we have to learn how to say “no” though). If they ( the demonic divine being) does not- then ask what is the point of them doing this to you, what needs to be learnt through this, if anything?- as it is often a good reason for this. Most often if you make it known you don’t want this and ask them to leave they will ( if they are divine being, a parasite etc will not).

Basic protection should be practiced in general; shielding, grounding, cleansing, warding the space as part of usual routine. Have you looked at S Connoly’s work at all( she is very good for basic working with demons ins a respectful manner)? Sometimes in demonolatry ritual an elemental circle is called upon- but it is to balance the energies- not to protect you from the demonic.

If you did choose to interact with someone who induces harm and delusion- it is still important to understand why you are approaching them.  Do you want the delusion experience? If so then you wouldn’t try to combat it. If you do not - then training yourself to “see clearly” would be helpful- I don’t just mean clairvoyance- I mean actually using the third eye to be attuned to the “truth” of a thing and understanding the many layers of realities/ illusions etc. This will take time though. I would strongly recommend doing shadow work to help with protection and as a good practice in general.  If the being truly produces delusion- then knowing your own self very well can be very helpful for seeing through this. It is also important to cleanse regularly for delusional energies and work on your third eye too. Another thing to consider (it wasn’t clear in the ask) perhaps the “delusion” and harm (if it was demonic divine being) could have actually been a clearing of energies? But I don’t know enough about your current practices to really say.

For avoiding a poor experience going forward, using a divination practice- even just a pendulum can be helpful for determining whether to work with beings or not. Communing also with those otherworldly beings you trust like your patron perhaps to check to see if this is someone you should work with or not, can be helpful. Also trusting your gut too with what you are feeling- this usually gives a good guide as to whether something is “good” for you or not. You can also determine over longer term if something is beneficial to you or not- by looking at how your life is going, is it “improving (by your own standards)” or not? But this is nuanced to the individual. Nothing is truly guaranteed, however. So observing in the moment and longer term can be helpful. Sometimes also we are drawn to more “harmful” things to learn something from it, even if its only on how to set good boundaries or stand up for ourselves etc. But everyone’s journey is individual. It can also be helpful in the aftermath of such a hazardous experience to do energy healing work as well, or other methods and the ground, cleanse, centre etc.

Also for going forward and working with demons- you could try to choose which demons you are interested in ( from looking at the different hierarchy lists) via gut feeling of being drawn to them, via divination or via looking at what you want to achieve or work on and who could help with that. As you mentioned a good experience with the first two demons you contacted then maybe contacting Them again to try small steps back in to approaching this work. Or you could look to some other of the demonic that are known to be okay with beginners- as they may help with working up to connecting with others. It is okay to take your time with it though and not rush it if it feels like too much. If casting an elemental circle (from S Connoly’s work) can help you to feel safer or better about contacting the demonic then that is helpful to do, when calling upon the particular demonic. (while I don’t know your practice my advice is please do not use the mirror method- the demonic do not like it and you end up with weird energies from it). You could also (if into magick) create a sigil or small talisman you charge with protective and guiding energies to have with you at the time of contact. I would suggest also gaining knowledge about a strong banishing technique as well, if you do not already know one (and calling on your patron to help with this, or even asking your patron to protect you when connecting as well). I use a modified satanic LBRP ( calls upon demonic not angelic beings) along with usually cleansing and balancing. Placing wards around the space you are connecting could be helpful as well. And these protective techniques are not so much to be “used against” the demonic divine- but rather to keep the riffraff out, so you can be more likely to get the correct being coming through. These techniques like banishing etc would be more like the “big- guns” though, but it is still useful to know. Though in my view it doesn’t banish true demonic divine beings, for them asking them ( poiltely and sometimes firmly) to leave is enough. For general banishing feeling the power or your Will and command (as a divine being as well) will work well for just about everything.

Because you did have a harrowing experience with one of the ”demonic,” it is normal to feel apprehensive, so try to go easy on yourself with this and it doesn’t need to be rushed.

I am happy to offer other advice or help if needed. And I apologise for the length, there is a lot to cover in this ask. Hope this helps somewhat.

others who see this: This answer is just for this person and the ask, please do not apply it generally

[orangelittlepagan]

Hey uhm, sorry if I'm bothering you but can I please get some advice? You're the only person I can find in here who I feel like I can ask about this considering you're posts, so uhm recently I felt a pull to worship tezcatlipoca but I don't know what to do and how to make sure that what I'm feeling is real. And since you seem more knowledgeable then me in the topic, would you mind please helping me out? And this isn't the first time I felt like this, this has happened over three times all months apart. I've always liked tezcatlipoca and always had a fondness for him. And I was wondering I you could give me some advice or something like that. That would be greatly appreciated thank you in advance.

Sorry for the waiting! Work has been a handful recently. There is no bother, no problem :>

Okay, so. Normally Tezcatlipoca's call is not easy to ignore neither to confuse. It's very particular.

The first thing you can do is try and light an incense, ease you mind. And pray for an answer. From a personal standpoint I stand with the people that says that, contrary to the popular belief, is not common for normal spirits or trickster spirits to try to pass as deities. So, normally you get a pretty stand forward answer if you ask.

But I recommend ask to another deity of your trust, Tezcatlipoca is a trickster after all. If you could try and ask Quetzalcoatl or Ometeotl (preferably The Ometeotl) it would be great, as I have said before Quetzalcoatl is really protective with humans but has a turbulent past with Tezca so their parents would be best me thinks.

You may also have been seeing signs. The most common are:

Suddenly you smell smoke

Suddenly you watch smoke

There is a lot of jaguar symbology, jaguar patters, or in general jaguar thing in you life suddenly

Sun is or giving you a hard time or a easy time

Your things are getting lost and you find them just when you don't need them anymore or when you get desperate

The jaguar thing but with owls, specially the ones that look like they have horn in their heads

Suddenly there is a good bunch of mirrors in you life

You feel more attracted to knowledge that normal and either anxious or relaxed about future

But hey, is not like a cooking recipe so you might feel things not listen here that says to you "Tezcatlipoca". I would recommend to ask.

Teotl Tezcatlipoca is a trickster, a playfully and mischievous one but he means no harm, if he is interacting with you is because he likes you or he is interested by you

Do not, really DO NOT give him blood. If you decide to work with him in the future and only after you two had constructed a firm relationship and you are pretty sure you want to, you can. But right now DON'T.

This is a general for most Mexica Teotls that actually liked blood in the past, is very easy for them to see that your offering your hand and they take the whole arm. Tezcatlipoca and Huitzilopochtli specially tends to be quite needy and entitled if you don't set boundaries first. Huitzilopochtli due to being ignorant to social clues and Tezcatlipoca because... It's his nature, he has always being spoiled.

And they can be and accompany you without you spilling a single drop of crimson liquid, don't feel ever pressured to give them.

Ah I have a lot of thoughts and experience to talk about the blood issue so I think I will expand in a post some day. General rule, don't give to them if you're a beginner or if you're trying to connect with them. And if you don't give GOOD there is no need

[thrashkink-coven]

Okay apparently I’m opinionated on this subject.

I’m gonna make a statement and you’re gonna tell me if it sounds familiar:

“I mean no hate towards the actual act or practice of witchcraft! but the way the internet (particularly tiktok) has created and popularized it into something that is almost entirely people seeking attention and/or in some degree of delusion is worrying and disrespectful.”

To preface, I’m not helpol or follow any traditional model for my worship and witchcraft. I’m an eclectic witch. I can’t speak to how Godspousal should or did look to those people.

I’ll agree with you on some base fundamentals, because it is true that any practice that is exposed to outsiders and/or the mainstream will inherently garner and fester misinformation. This can be said about any practice. Witchcraft became trendy, deity work became trendy, and we witnessed the common phenomenon of a ton of uneducated beginners sharing their ideas and experiences. You said you have no hate towards the actual act of god spousal, so I’m going to assume you’re not talking about legitimate, long devoted godspouses, we’ll skip that part. You’re probably well aware of the history already.

and I will agree, many of these-usually kids and teens- are at the intersection between fandom, fantasy, and religion. The reality shifting community had a lot to do with that. They want to fan girl about their deities and go on these fantastic journeys. They want to feel special and this is their way of fulfilling that. Is that fulfillment justified? That depends, it’s a coping mechanism, whether it be done consciously or subconsciously.

I agree that indulging in that fantasy can be harmful. Not only to your mental health, your grip on reality, but to your spiritual health. If they are actually achieving communication and they approach the wrong deity with the wrong attitude, bad things can happen. And then we get the horror stories and cancellations.

What I do disagree with though, is your way of wording that concern, and your commands. Your call to action so to speak.

Anyone who gets into deity work/relations in any regard, be that platonic, sexual, romantic religious, etc, should know that this relationship will be unlike the relationships they have with other humans. They aren’t an imaginary friend. I’ll agree that they aren’t going to be watching movies with you and having slumber parties or sending you memes. And no, most people are not godspoused.

But… lol

Your words carry such an air of distain and condescension.

“Apollo is not your baby girl. They are not your husband, they are not making you uwu blush and giggle. They are not sliding their hand down your pants and making you cum”

why not? Why do you assume everyone is either lying or insane?

I think that’s the thing that bothers me the most. This idea that anything that is ideal is delusion. If your deity teaches you, protects you, gives you good advice, that’s normal. But if your deity dare show you affection, you’re obviously losing it. If your deity provides you with good or lustful energy to the point of pleasure, you’re obviously just disrespecting them, because a deity would never love a human, never have a relationship with a human that is influenced by love, because you are not special. I don’t know where this idea comes from, but there was never any rule or law that said it.

Relationships with deities should always carry an air of respect, of course. But when I come to Tumblr. com and make a post FREAKING OUT because my dear Patron just gave me a kiss, I’m not concerned with sounding professional. I don’t owe anyone proof that I’m a legitimate practitioner and devotee (except for the big guy himself). Lucifer is my baby girl (I guess it would make more sense to say I’m his baby boy), he does make me kick my feet and twirl my hair. And obviously, a lot of other things as well that aren’t so romantic and interesting to post about. He’s my Lord and my God and my guide, but he’s also my best friend. He leads me, he teaches me, protects me, and he also gives me a kiss.

When I see another devotee or spouse of Lucifer (who is of consenting age) gushing about how good Lucifer makes them feel and how much they love him, I can’t help but also be excited that someone else knows how I feel. Some of these posts may be from people who don’t know what they’re doing or talking about, but I don’t think being excited or gushing is an indication of that.

When I share an experience with him and someone else says “hey! me too!”, I feel the same. To me, that is God.

And hell, it makes me feel like a kid again, just being overjoyed that we’re lucky enough to share this love for something.

Yes, kids will be kids. Stupid people will be stupid. I’m not worried about them. Disrespectful, ignorant people have always existed, they just weren’t in your face. I agree that we shouldn’t be encouraging risky behaviour that can promote psychosis. I agree that it isn’t healthy to use a deity to replace human connections. I agree that people should do more research into these things. Sure.

But telling people, especially beginners, that they’re disrespecting their craft, their deities, themselves, for experiencing and expressing love? I don’t get it. I don’t see why love and affection are contradictory to learning and growing.

Is Lucifer going to provide a romantic fantasy to a 15 year old girl who just learned about witchcraft last week? Probably not, she’s probably pretending. Kids pretend.

I don’t think the way to shake her out of that phase is to shame her, point our fingers and call her a cringe poser. If she really does continue with this interest and legitimately get into deity work, I want her to know that she is deserving of affection, if or when she receives it from her Gods.

I think it’s much better to say something along the lines of:

“Hey, make sure you’re taking care of your mental health while doing deity work. Here are some important warning signs of psychosis. Here’s some important information on god spousal as a practice. Here are some red flags, some advice, some wisdom.”

If all you can do about this supposed thing that’s bothering you so much and decreasing your enjoyment of devotional spaces, is tell everyone that they’re “clinging to bs”, you might not be ready to have this conversation yet.

Probably will get shit for this, but I am SO tired of seeing God spousing shit everywhere.

I mean no hate towards the act of actual God spousing!!! but the way the internet (particularly tiktok) has created and popularized it into something that is almost entirely people intentionally attention seeking and/or in some degree of delusion is worrying and disrespectful.

Apollo is not your baby girl. Loki is not your boyf who loves watching horror movies with you. They are not your husband. They are not uwu making you blush and giggle and kick your feet. They are not sliding a hand down your pants and making you c>m. You are not pregnant with their astral children. And no, most people are not god spoused.

The problem is not that it's a different path than me. I don't care about that. I love different paths, even the "cringe" ones like pop culture worship and digital magic and etc etc. And even things I dislike/do cringe a bit at such as "left hand path" or "dark witchcraft" or "black magic witch" are not a problem! Just because something isn't for me (or someone else) doesn't make it dangerous or problematic.

My problem is (varying degrees of) spiritual delusion and psychosis, appropriation and misrepresentation of actual practices, and disrespect towards deities and paganism as a whole. Which is most of what I see in online god spousing spaces. (And unfortunately often in online pagan + witch communities as a whole, which I've discussed before.)

Please. You are 16 (often.) Delete those Tumblr posts and Tiktoks. Just move on. Learning and growing is normal and good! We have all been through phases or beleifs we cringe at and leave in the past. You have no reason to cling to bs. Stop the disrespect (to both the Gods and your own mind), and make something legitimately beautiful for yourself in your practice. Learning and growing is normal and good!!!

[asherlockstudy]

Freebatch: Could it be that it affected the future of Sherlock?!

Now that Sherlock is most likely over (sorry) I feel more free to write about a theory I have had all this time regarding Freebatch. Actually, I must have already written something about it but certainly way more cautiously because the reactions were strong back in the day.

The theory is very simple... and maybe it's not a theory but rather a common untold speculation. There must have been something about Cumberbatch and Freeman and it went wrong.

First of all, initially the show was hinting at a future romance developing between Sherlock and John, let's not go back into stating the obvious. One needs no more than to watch the pilot. And the actual episodes. The actors must have been prepared for the romantic possibility by the screenwriters. Martin once said in an interview that Mark had asked him whether it would be a problem to kiss Benedict on screen, "as a joke, of course". This could be the exact truth or perhaps Martin added the clarification it was a joke in order to not spoil the plot so badly. In any case, I find it hard to believe that all actors had to speak out the lines of A Scandal in Belgravia or The Sign of Three, without ever discussing among themselves that, obviously, Sherlock was not straight and John was struggling with ambiguous feelings too, at the very least.

Of course, whether Sherlock and John were to be romantic or not, that is irrelevant to how Benedict and Martin felt for each other. They might have been just professionally friendly or enjoy each other's company or neither. The problem is, no matter how many optimistic fans wave off the rumours of a fallout between them as yellow journalism, their relationship did deteriorate at some point unfortunately.

Even when they were not together often for press, Benedict and Martin seemed really close and very touchy and playful with each other during the first three seasons. In the interviews, they would often get distracted and start praising each other. They were close even outside of the Sherlock set, one highlight being Benedict stopping by New Zealand, as you do, to say hello. And there was so much more. Search the tag "freebatch". Search it in my own blog too. I really recommend the Freebatch Retrospective posts by welovethebeekeeper who has been deactivated unfortunately but you can find the posts in my blog. They feature some little known and well researched stuff. Let me be clear, I do not mean all this is proof they were together. However, it is proof they were close - closer, whether as friends or not.

And then suddenly they weren't. We became aware of something going very wrong in this interview where Martin let it slip that "Benedict could go fuck himself". Martin Freeman is a tongue-in-cheek guy to be sure, however he immediately asked for the next question and he clearly regretted it the moment he said it, apparently understanding he couldn't convince as facetious this time and that this could harm his, Cumberbatch's and Sherlock's interests. Which means he kinda meant this one, otherwise he could keep on joking. There is this theory that Martin can't always be asked about Ben in his interviews which is totally understandable but this would justify exasperation towards the journalist and not Benedict himself. No, without a tin hat on, Martin meant this for Ben and he was pretty serious about it. Time proved it, after all. Besides, Martin looks consistently mad and uncomfortable when Ben is mentioned ever since.

Interestingly, the select few who still write articles about Cumberbatch and Freeman's relationship hardly ever mention this first incident and they analyze confidential reports of how they acted on set in the last season or how they disagreed about the impact of the Johnlockers on the future of Sherlock (more on that later). And yet, Freeman's curse sits there staring at us.

Something happened after the third season and before The Abominable Bride. In fact, many things happened at the time. Cumberbatch got married and was an expectant father, Cumberbatch and Freeman had a feud and Freeman's marriage to Amanda Abbington was coming to an end. Maybe all of them are irrelevant to one another but there was certainly A LOT going on in their lives.

His Last Vow aired in January 2014.

Martin was angry at Benedict in a Hobbit promo by the mid / end of 2014 because the last Hobbit movie aired in December.

Benedict announced his engagement to Sophie in November 2014 and married her in February 2015.

Then a frigid setlock for the Abominable Bride followed. It aired in January 2016.

By the spring, Amanda and Martin were not together anymore but kept it secret until the end of the year. Meanwhile, they were shooting the fourth season of Sherlock and the atmosphere was once again cold.

One consistent thing I have noticed during all this time is that Martin was always the more obviously angry one. You might have your doubts but I feel very strongly that Martin was furious then and still isn't over his anger. This suggests that whatever happened between them was serious and, moreover, that Martin was the one who felt wronged in some way. Granted, maybe Cumberbatch can control his emotions better for the sake of the press and fans but he also seemed like the most willing to compromise between the two. In the very few times they are together on set in TAB and later, it seems like Benedict does small steps to get closer or "have a moment" with Martin, to which Martin responds stiffly and quickly. This could mean that either Benedict admits whatever happened between them was his fault and is sorry or simply that he was more aware of the necessity for the two of them to pretend they are on good terms during the publicity of the show. For Martin it was harder to pretend because he was so furious about it still.

Regarding Benedict's marriage to Sophie Hunter, I must say I do not believe those edgy speculations that Sophie forced him in this marriage and that she is evil and blah blah blah. To me, they look like a perfect match and the three sons in a row sort of back this up. I wish them well. However, there were a lot speculations about how this relationship appeared all of a sudden in the mid of rumours of Benedict going out with other girls and Sophie was pregnant and all. Who knows, maybe the relationship started unusually but then their bond strengthened? Or maybe they had indeed escaped the paparazzis successfully. The point is, many people other than fans had thoughts about this wedding including Amanda Abbington who seemed to support her husband and laugh ironically at the press entertaining of the prospect that Martin could be Benedict's best man. Of course he wasn't and of course they didn't attend his wedding.

In general, it seems like Amanda had her own thoughts about Cumberbatch and his relationship with Freeman and was finding it hard to not spill the beans just then and there. Amanda Abbington has also confessed she was against Johnlock initially which I can't understand coming from a professional actress. To not get it, fine, but to be annoyed at the possibility... why? Back in the day she was making quite a few passive aggressive tweets, sometimes targeted subtly against shippers. Something unprofessional. It almost seems as if she felt invested somehow, as if she couldn't quite tell Johnlock and Freebatch apart. Sometimes I also wonder why SHE was chosen for the role of Mary Morstan. Was it coincidental, was it the set being one big family that also included Ben's parents and Moffat's wife and mother-in-law or did she push for it, to be there and see what is going on. Coincidental or not, the introduction of Mary or Amanda in the show changed the dynamics forever and I doubt it was for the best. I don't mean anything bad about such a good actress as Amanda and I understand where she's coming from as the wife but I am just telling it how it is. Amanda was very involved, even in the most unexpected of moments.

See this. At first, it may seem as if it's just playing around but I am not quite sure. There are negative feelings in this thread. First of all, Amanda responds unprompted at the jokeful insinuation that Ben and Martin have a thing, even though neither Ben nor Martin respond to the tweet. Of all things she could say for fun, she chose to say that Benedict was pretending to be affectionate with him for his own (unclear) purposes. Pegg doesn't get it and keeps joking and the thread goes on with no less than Amanda asking if he fucked Ben. As in, if Ben was the submissive one. At first, this may seem like dirty joking. In truth, I believe this to be either in very poor taste or a byproduct of anger and hurt. Again, why this of all things? Why insinuate, even as a joke, that Cumberbatch is insincere and feigns interest or affection? And also imply that this is the reason Martin plays hard to get?

Consider this along with the fact that during and after the fallout Ben was the one appearing more friendly while Martin was getting progressively all the more distant.

It is clear that in his mind, Freeman thinks he was taken in or used or fooled, be it professionally or romantically or platonically. We will probably never know what Benedict thinks and feels about it.

At some point after Sherlock S4, Martin said something along the lines that everyone was feeling pressure to change the original plot due to the Johnlockers. This was weird coming out of Martin's mouth, of all people, who was the one who claimed he had no problem with this concept "as an actor". Even removing everything else, Freeman doesn't strike me as an actor who wouldn't go for the bold move or for one to take up the screenwriter's position so earnestly. He sounded contradictory to his younger self and somewhat defensive about the eventual lack of Johnlock! That was the most vocal Cumberbatch got about this whole situation, when he described as "pathetic" the idea that the cast and crew would be so affected by the shippers to feel pressure to change the story. In this case, I can't help but make the wild speculation that the enstrangement of the two and especially Freeman's fury actually informed the plot of the last season. Not only there isn't any Johnlock subtext in the slightest but even the famous chemistry of the two is gone. Often, their scenes together are more awkward and cold and the ease and warmth there was between them in previous seasons is no more. John's whole character arch is destroyed based or justified by this change of dynamics. How coincidental can this be? Is it just Amanda? It feels as if Martin too couldn't tell Freebatch and Johnlock apart anymore.

Before S4, I was making speculations that in this season Sherlock and John would have a major breakdown, regardless of the Freebatch status. However, I believed this taking for granted there would be a fifth season that would bring them closer than ever and seal the deal. Now that I don't see them very enthusiastic about a new season, it is apparent that they ended the show with John and Sherlock being at their lowest. In the last episode, dead Mary (Mary, again) subtextually gives them her blessing but you never see anything and you never feel any reconciliation between them at all. John literally looks dead inside and I am not sure this is pure acting.

Amanda Abbington said the show incidentally imitated her break up with Martin. Just like John was texting Eurus, Martin had been emailing a colleague. It could be this or this could be a cherry on top of an already lost cause. Mary was gone after making the mistake to get too caught up between what Sherlock and John had. This could be "art imitates life" too.

In my opinion, Freeman now looks better than ever, in the outside. There was a short time though, during the last of Sherlock and a little after, that I was worried about him. He looked too skinny and greying and miserable. In the last interview of his I read, (I never remember sources, but I did read it, trust me) he was asked what was something he was told that hurt him the most. Martin replied "I am not in love with you". Someone at some point broke his heart badly. It could be before his wedding to Amanda but I doubt he felt so strongly about something so back in time. It wasn't Amanda either because Amanda was devastated when they had to break up. I believe it was someone recent and the period that Martin looked to be in a bad emotional state was the years 2014 - 2016. It could mean nothing or it could mean something.

Martin Freeman is almost certainly bisexual. He once joked about it and another time he almost directly said it. Benedict Cumberbatch has admitted to have experimented with men but concluded it wasn't doing much for him after all.

I want to be clear that I don't have an opinion on whether Benedict did Martin wrong. For all we know, Benedict could feel as strongly but not be ready for it becoming known. Perhaps he was afraid it would hurt their careers. Perhaps Martin got invested in a professional relationship where Ben took it for granted that they should be close if they had to be the modern gay Holmes and Watson. Perhaps Cumberbatch asked for a bigger salary or more alone scenes. Whatever it is, I do not demonize him a) because I have no proof and b) because he may have a justifiable reason for how he chose to act. We can't know is all I am saying and I certainly approached this as if Ben, Martin and Amanda are the only people in the world. I know but I am sure that there was something going up and down between them and that Martin felt wronged and it must have affected the show to some considerable degree.

If there was a romantic relationship between them, it must have been short lived but very intense and it must have made Martin feel very involved, with mixed feelings about Benedict.