#haunted by the past

[shyjusticewarrior]

Jason overpowering fear toxin

Jason overpowering cheer drops

Jason overpowering his fear failsafe

[hyacinthdoll1315]

Separate

CW // identity loss, purposeful forgetting. imprisonment, forced back to a past.

A doll sits on a bed in a small room, it's legs pulled to its chest as it reads a book.

The sound of cold winds brush at the windowsill, locked and covered with iron bars. The yellow-white haze of the overhead light buzzes faintly as it reaches over the room, and the book the doll holds is left with dust smatterings and marks of fingers.

The words on the pages grow blurry as the doll holds back tears and exhaustion. If its witch were here, she would tell it to lie down as it hummed a melody to sleep. But its witch is not here. an unknown home and unfamiliar room far from its witches embrace.

"It will be safe here," the girl had said, "we'll be far from that evil witches clutches." Did she not know? Her witch was kind, there was no reason to leave its witch.

The girl had said she was her friend named Samantha. An old friend, from before being a doll. She said she wanted to save the doll, help her remember the past. That was not what It had wanted though.

It did not know Samantha. It did not know the person this woman kept speaking of. It did remember some of its past, before being a doll, but it had not wanted to.

Its witch removed most of those memories for it when it asked. and had kept it safe ever since. It did not remember much, but it did remember when it became a doll.

It had met the witch some time before, and had gotten to know her. It had been very sad for a long time, and one day, it had asked.

It asked to be a doll, and the witch said no. It then begged, and the witch still said no. On the third time though, the doll had prostrated itself upon the ground, tears in its eyes and agony in its heart, and staring in its witches eyes, the doll pleaded to be her doll.

Only then, did the witch say yes.

Time had passed. The doll cared for its witch, and the witch cared for her doll, and the doll was happy to be in its witches care. It was happy to be a doll.

And eventually it asked to forget its past. To forget of its pain, forget the sadness, forget being Human, or a friend, or a person. To be freed of its old name, and to exist as a doll and only a doll. And eventually, the witch complied.

And yet, the past has come back.

stuck in an old room, The girl, Samantha said it was the dolls room, but it knew it was wrong. Samantha was wrong.

Perhaps she simply wanted her friend back, or whoever it was before. but it had never wanted that, it wanted to be with its witch.

But a doll is just property isn't it?

Standing up from the bed and placing the book on worn and dusty blankets, the doll knock on the door of it's confinement, seeking to get the crying girls attention.

"Miss, shall this doll clean the house?"

[screams-n-shackles]

"No matter how far you run, you will never get rid of me."

[hersurvival]

Suddenly, I was surrounded by people,

Classmates from my past,

And I kept my head down, as I've always done.

Imperceptible, passing through unnoticed,

That's always the goal.

But a girl I can't remember the name of

Walked right up to me to ask something.

Avoiding eye contact, trying to answer,

It felt like I was swallowing glue, like my throat

Was closing up.

My tongue swelled, my words were quiet,

Muffled, mumbled, incoherent.

I couldn't do this.

[m-t-nester]

I am not here to hurt you. I love you. I want to help you. I am sorry. I have failed.

[cursed-elements-blog]

SELFSHIPTOBER DAY 6 - Haunted

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I relive those final moments sometimes, when I can remember it at least. Usually when I'm deep in sleep, exploring my subconscious in the form of dreams.

I... can't remember the specifics, but I remember the lake and I remember hearing screaming. And each time, without fail, I wake up shaking. Haunted by memories I don't even possess. I know it has something to do with Sydney. That it has something to do with that day...but I don't know what.

It's easier to deal with now than it usually is, because she's here with me. It makes waking up in the middle of the night shaking, stressed, and hyperventilating just a bit more bearable when I see El at my side.

If I could remember...take whatever it is that my mind has suppressed and bring it to the forefront, would I tell her? She knows about my night terrors, my sleep paralysis, my moments of dissociation. She knows the moment that fucked up my old friend group forever. What else does she need to know?

I wish we could just move on...leave what happened in the past and get on with our life.

But we can't. Not while that day haunts us like it has for the past decade.

If I do remember more, I think she deserves to know. I love her. She has been the best partner I could ask for, and if she's going to be a permanent part of my life, then she deserves to know the truth...whatever that may be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[sunset-of-the-void]

I cant stop drawing my boy with flowers

[digital-corruption]

Earlier this month I received an invite from Wattpad to join their Creators Program. At first I was really excited, but after reading the criteria, I realized my invite was sent based on an algorithm most likely after posting consistently for the past few months with only taking at most a 2 week break. Then the more I read up on the general feedback from people who were part of the Creators Program, the more I realized it meant nothing and changed nothing other than trying to limit my ability to remove my work. I had some issues with a couple of points in the contract, but unsurprisingly Wattpad's contract team are not interested in responding, nevermind making adjustments, which reinforces how meaningless the whole thing is. I am just another number to them.

Which leads to me wondering what I will do with Haunted when its finished. It's in its final chapters now.

[kidddcaptain]

Charak you should have stayed hidden.

Byrons eyes darted around the streets trying to follow the streaks of black left by Charaks eyes as he flew from the wall of one building to another, tracing a triangle around the Byron. He knew Charak was strong but this? Achieving this speed? It was beyond the word strength it was an unimaginable level of power but that was of no consequence there was no way this spider would leave this makeshift arena unsquashed.

Air crashed into his face as Charak flew behind him. Byron knew what was happening, Charak was a hunter and he was getting used to the hunt again, he is trying to lengthen the hunt. He was having fun. Overcome by embarrassment cloaked in rage Byron let lose a roar so loud it echoed down the desolate streets and threw a punch the ruptured the concrete and tarmac that he alone stood on. The sudden tremor travelled to the building on Byrons right side, shaking its foundations as the ground beneath it tore open to swallow it whole. This sudden change in landscape forced Charak to stop his movement completely and reassess the situation, this was his chance he could end this with one punch all he needed was to get closer; focusing all his magic in his legs he had, before Charaks eyes had even closed to blink, appeared before him fist raised high above his head. This was it! He was going to win!!

His fist came to a sudden stop.

Skin.

Charak had done the impossible, he stopped Byrons punch well before it even began.

"Look Byron was it? There is no way in hell you win here and let me show you why" Charak adjusted his grip on his prey, moving his hand from the fist to the wrist and yanked him forwards. What happened next could not have been anticipated by anyone, Charaks teeth gouged Byrons face and tore his check off. Reflexively Byron threw a punch as strong and as fast as he could bolstered by every ounce of magic his curse allowed him. The information processed backwards, first Byron felt the ground destroyed from his punch, he then realised the strange lack of viscera between his hand and the ground, he then realised Charak was no longer in front of him.

Breath.

Byron whipped around and bore witness to what really killed his family. The wild animal that possessed the spider queens curse. The creature that left only their skulls behind. Charak the one being in this fight no one lived to question.

"What? You seem afraid. Weren't you told? The spider queen was a cannibal god, she ate the fearless wolf and the prideful boar, remind me whose curse do you bear?" At that moment Byron felt his strength leave. His curse was broken pride no longer carried his strength fear stole that job.

"Please" His voice trembled, he did not care "I no longer hold the boars curse! You do not have to do this!"

Charaks black eyes seemed to cast a shadow of their own one that conveyed pure distain "You see most of the time I would agree, but you came to me after my leaving was announced to try kill me while I was weakened. You were a coward through and through and now you're a human. So out of the three things I see no value in you have ticked two of those boxes, a coward and a human without a curse. You will be a pitiful meal but a meal none the less" Four arms grasped Masakis face and brought it within an inch of Charaks "Shall we share a kiss?"

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

The ghost of what I could have been follows me and mocks me every day.

[shyjusticewarrior]

I think about this a lot. Jason remembers waking up in his grave. Which means he may remember the two years he spent with brain damage (one on the streets, one with Talia before she threw him in the pit.)

[willowsong]

“Love letters from a lover a thousand years ago”

poem written by me

[spilladabalia]

Sherlock's Trip

Nine Circles - Haunted By The Past

[lifewithaview]

Natalie Portman and Joel Edgerton in Jane Got a Gun (2015)

Dir.Gavin O'Connor

Jane Got a Gun centers on Jane Hammond, who has built a new life with her husband Bill "Ham" Hammond after being tormented by the ultra-violent Bishop Boys outlaw gang. She finds herself in the gang's cross-hairs once again when Ham stumbles home riddled with bullets after dueling with the Boys and their relentless mastermind Colin. With the vengeful crew hot on Ham's trail, Jane has nowhere to turn but to her former fiancé Dan Frost for help in defending her family against certain destruction. Haunted by old memories, Jane's past meets the present in a heart-stopping battle for survival.

*Shot in 2013, the film was originally set to be released in August 2014, then the date was moved to 20 February 2015, then moved again to 4 September 2015. The film was finally released in November 2015 in Europe and in the U.S. in January 2016.

[m-t-nester]

I do not comprehend. If you love someone who loves someone else, you take care of that person when the one you love is gone. If someone is suffering, you try to help them. I do not understand humans. Please help me understand so I can better help them.

[kay-creates-characters]

I’m working on a new story and this is going to be the cover.