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#the terror#the terror amc#james fitzjames#my posts#my gifs#I've gotta finish giffing the other scene but#everyone's reactions in this scene are so interesting#but as usual on my tumblr it's jfj posting hours#he's not doing the stare yet here (though he does later)#but his body language this scene is really telling#he's holding his hand so tightly#I love crozier and his whole arc but#he's so scary in this scene and the surrounding ones#and I remember reading some great meta#about how this whole thing isn't just a punishment#for the three who are being lashed#but for everyone who had to witness it#and it does come across not just as a valid punishment#but a message to everyone present#not to cross crozier or question his orders#and although fitzjames hasn't outright challenged crozier much#he is the one who does so the most and in the most personal ways#this is the same episode with the whole conversation about sophia#in fact was it even the same day?#okay this is enough tags but#I have many terror-brained thoughts
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"Carrot! Don't you remember last night? Didn't you wonder what I might become? Didn't you worry about the future?"
"No."
"Why the hell not?"
"It hasn't happened yet. Shall we get back? It'll be dark soon."
Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant
#angua von uberwald#carrot ironfoundersson#the fifth elephant#discworld#terry pratchett#werewolves#dating#relationships#fighting#existential crisis#logic#memory#past#present#future#worry#why not#it hasn't happened yet#what i might become
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“Just forgive him.”
#anyway fuck this storyline fr#like it makes sense for jamie to be drawn in yet again by the childlike desire to have his dad love him#but the show presenting that as a GOOD thing?#that lol his mom's just spiteful and jamie should ignore her in favor of what ted says#that no matter how badly your parent (or anyone) has abused you you have to make nice#good for james for getting rehab i guess#but that does NOT mean jamie should — let alone needs to — forgive and forget and reconnect#or that james getting rehab means he's suddenly a good person who loves jamie#and he hasn't even acknowledged what he's done; certainly he hasn't apologized for it#jamie tartt#james tartt#tl#tedlassoedit#ted lasso#mine#tw child abuse#tw rape
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(Idk if someone asked this already) since we’re on the topic of gender
sci what is gender to you and how do you see it in you and how you express it in your art?? (Just a young queer artist who wants some light shined upon them 🥺)
i 'unno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#gender is soup#sci speaks#i'm so sorry i know you might hope for something profound but... i think when i'm put on the spot like this i can't say anything really#i think whatever i am is definitely pervasive in everything i write#but like.. gender means something different to wade than it does for peter.#just like it'll be different for everybody. we make different associations based on our experiences and our trauma.#like.. wade associates femininity with love. because of his mother. associates masculinity with violence. because of his father.#peter associates masculinity with responsibility. because of uncle ben. associates femininity with confidence. because of aunt may.#i think there's all kinds of reasons why we choose to present the way we do. and what gender means to us.#just like we'll associate a colour with something. or a smell with a memory. it's complicated.#i don't think i'm some kind of expert on gender things but... i just find it interesting to explore. the psychology of it.#i don't think it's supernatural. it doesn't come from nowhere. but it should be a playground.#i don't think anyone in this world should be restricted to a certain role to play. i want to try all the roles and see how it fits.#see how well i can play them.#maybe because i haven't found one that quite fits. so i want the opportunity to try whatever i can. see what feels right.#i think it would be fun to be a wife. i think it would be fun to be a husband. i think it would be fun to be a firefighter. i think it wo#shrugs. different outfits for every day. different roles to play.#today i'd like to try...#i think it's like kids learning how to be adults by playing pretend. by playing roles.#i'm learning more about myself and other people and fitting into the world by trying on different roles.#kids playing house. you be the mom. i'll be the dad. yadda yadda.#i still feel like a bit of a kid who hasn't figured out how to be an adult yet. so i'm still trying out roles to see what fits.
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“I’m Devinder Crousley, and this–is Delving Into Darkness.”
“Or, at least, into a lovely twilight, soon to be dark. I’ve come to Egypt to visit a couple old Oxford mates, and happened upon some rather curious rumors circulating amongst the locals. As I understand, not far outside the town is an area referred to as “Serket’s Domain,” where one might be able to find some scorpions of unusual size. But not just any supernaturally oversized arthropodic cryptids! These are, so I’ve heard, potentially descended from those in the tale Isis and the Seven Scorpions. And–oh, what luck!”
"A spectacular specimen, indeed! Its claws alone appear to be over 20 centimetres, the typical length of the entire body of a Pandinus imperator–or, emperor scorpion–one of the largest mundane scorpion species. And while standard scorpion chitin will fluoresce under UV light, this one appears to have unique striations, glowing even without the use of my blacklight–in multiple, atypical colors, akin to a railroad worm’s bioluminescence! Fascinating… Primarily prominent are fiery orange markings, located on both the stinger and cephalothorax, presenting as a large dorsal spot with eight to ten radial lines–almost like a sun with rays. Perhaps these markings might be used amongst others of the species as a form of signaling, possibly for general communication or mating purposes? However, an additional green spot just above its two front-facing eyes is relatively quite small. While it appears to me not unlike an illustrated "third eye" of sorts in combination with the surrounding orange markings, it’s possible the green mark acts as a form of lure for prey–bugger."
“It would appear Isis’ seven scorpions–or rather their descendants–are as formidable as you’d expect from the legend! I had assumed the initial specimen was an adult, but I now believe it more likely a juvenile, as many others have arrived that seem to be, um–they’re a few metres long! I shall endeavor to report further observations and provide more accurate measurements once I’m at a safer distance, but for now, it’s time to go! Until next time, dev-iners!”
(I had an idea to have seven scorpions chase me for a SWL anniversary contest, but it evolved into a short Redfall-flavored cryptid-hunting pseudo-eposide!)
#secret world legends#swl#the secret world#tsw#redfall#devinder crousley#id in alt#look out Dev that might be Tefen about to strike!#also he didn't actually hear those rumors from the locals#they've whispered about other things like cultists and (dapper) living mummies#but he heard about the scorpions through the Buzzing#except he hasn't figured out how to explain the Mothman-like voice in his head to his viewers yet#so vague phrasing and technically-correct statements it is#I've also been wanting to do a looong ak'ab presenting/theorizing episode with Dev#but I got distracted during the varied animal research part because they're DELIGHTFULLY WEIRD
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modern au ouyang and gender talk below the cut
i've been thinking about ouyang's genital/gender situation in a modern au since like... thankfully eunuchs aren't really a thing anymore, especially not the way ancient china makes them! and while i think it would obviously be more likely for modern au ouyang to just, like, have a dick (maybe he's still very pretty and deals with a similar kind of societal pressure to overcompensate? that could definitely happen, lots of cis men are naturally very 'feminine' in appearance) i think that - bearing in mind i'm cis and want to be as sensitive as possible- i really like the idea of modern au ouyang as intersex, specifically with complete (most likely) or partial androgen insensitivity syndrome. ouyang being what many doctors would describe as "genetically male" (which i understand is flawed, since not all intersex people agree with a binary categorisation for themselves) but having a feminine presentation, a lack of testosterone, and most likely the social raising of a girl would preserve his trans narrative and gender dysphoria but also retain the core part of ouyang's character that is like... the pain and outrage that something he had was taken away from him. the chance to be a "normal man" if you will.
#the radiant emperor#wanting ouyang to be ouyang means wanting to preserve the deeper more complex sides of him - his relationship to gender + his own body#but i also want modern au to be a place where he can be happier and suffer less#thankfully while it's still not great at all from a medical or sometimes social standpoint we're like. aware of intersex people and ouyang#would probably find it much easier to accept himself + find happiness especially with the support of zhu his best frenemy and esen etc#in my ideal modern au he and baoxiang are actually friends too but it's a very caustic friendship and they like it that way#listen i know esen wasn't exactly the best wrt ouyang and baoxiang's atypical presentations but he had the spirit... the love was there#the willingness to learn is what would make him a good ally...#imagining wbx who hasn't yet come to terms with being bi showing up at pride parades with esen like. actually i'm here supporting HIM#you know my gay brother waving the flag that says BEAR AND PROUD? yeah
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GUYS GUYS FUCKING SPLATOON JP ACC
UDFSHCIOAERUHFJ FINALF ESXT
PAST PRESENT FUTURE
youtube
ALSO AMIIBOS
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
#SPLATOON#SPLATOON 3#SPLATFEST#PAST VS PRESENT VS FUTURE#SQUID SISTERS#OFF THE HOOK#DEEP CUT#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#THE FOODFEST HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED YET AND WE ARE GETTING HIT WITH FINALFEST SHIT#AAGAHAAGH#Youtube
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#i know she hasn't met carol yet don't @ me#but i was presented with the perfect meme format#caroljess#jessica drew#spider woman#comics
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Panorama reaction GIFs displaying different emotions from:
Brave Police J Decker episode 33
Brave Command Dagwon episode 24
Brave of Gold Goldran episode 33
#brave police j decker#brave command dagwon#the brave of gold goldran#brave series#yuusha series#i'm not tagging all of them#bpjd can be so expressive sometimes#goldran as well#oh gosh i love Gunmax's pose and McCrane's expression and Dag Wing's *look* and Advenger's judgemental stare and-#i'm waiting for the perfect opportunity to use the last picture in discord for very specific occurences#but the chance hasn't presented itself yet
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I love how for me environmental banter in Act 2 has just turned into my Tav stating something about a thing and Astarion immediately chiming in with a witty remark, and the rest of the party just standing there like 😐
#currently the silent bystanders in this couple's vacation situation are Karlach and Halsin#it's been like that ever since we stepped foot into the Shadowlands#it also kinda fuels my headcanon that after one particularly perilous encounter in the githyanki creche in which my Tav almost died#Astarion had a sliver of a revelation about his feelings about Tav not being as transactional and superficial as he'd like to believe#(he was the first to scream at her to 'don't you DARE die like this' when she got downed)#and ever since he goes above and beyond to make himself present in anything she does and shadows her wherever she goes#covering her blind spots and stuff like that#and responding to everything she says just to hold on to that feeling that she's okay now and she's not going anywhere anymore#not if he can help it#he still hasn't figured out what it is he's feeling exactly (hence 'the talk' hasn't happened yet)#but he's getting there ❤️#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3 spoilers#astarion spoilers#svart plays bg3
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coco save me cocoooooo save meeee
#i'm in an unprecedented bad mood and my dad just ruined his own christmas present so i'm HHHRHSHFKSHDSFHFKJHF#dear god my grandpa hasn't even arrived yet and everything is already shit#i'm sneaking away to put the final touches on this coco post#and i was going to wait until new years to post it but don't be surprised if i post it today#ITS ONE OF THOSE DAYS
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Lestat, you may have baby trapped Louis, but could you awaken the great feminine longing of his mind like Armand? I thought not
#I'm reading the book for the first time lol#im an armandaniel truther but what a line to hear at 10:30 in the morning#my coffee hasn't even fully kicked in yet and im presented with this faggotry#iwtv#the vampire chronicles#loumand#it speaks
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There are two scarred lines parallel with my spine on my lower back, each just over an inch long, like rifts, where infection ate away at my flesh. I cannot see them without contorting myself, but my fingertips have traced them many times.
Two years ago today, my neurosurgeon cut into my back there, and removed the offending parts from my spine that plagued me with pain, loss of sensation, and muscle weakness. Recovery was rife with complications, creating scars both visible and tangible that wouldn't let me forget my back problems if the pain didn't already do the job with flair.
Once I was fully healed, at our last post-surgical appointment, I thanked my neurosurgeon for giving me back the full use of my legs and told her I hoped I wouldn't see her for a while. While I knew we would meet again, the wish was that it would be a long time.
She told me it was difficult to say, and that it could be years, but that there were some people - often those who didn't keep up with their back exercises - who would revisit her within a year.
Every year that passes, I count as a win. Today I blow out two candles. Who wants cake.
#back problems#back pain#back surgery#surgery#physical health#writing#my writing#a story every day#3 may#2024#technically I have revisited her#for an additional back problem that reared its head#and is still present today#BUT another surgery hasn't happened yet#and isn't in the making either#so I celebrate
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Glancing at the Qian Jin-Xiao Li duo then at the Lu Guang-Cheng Xiaoshi one and realising that from what we know Qian Jin was originally the by-the-book type and even now is incredibly careful and thorough. Meanwhile, Xiao Li went along with the photo shop trio despite knowing how unbelievable it all seemed and was willing to arrange Lu Guang's safety in a less traditional way
Qian Jin especially in the past is much more aligned with Lu Guang personality-wise whilst the more flexible and intuition-based Xiao Li is more aligned with Cheng Xiaoshi
#for future reference I wrote this post s2e4 so we'll see if this holds up down the line#I'm not sure yet how far to read into this in terms of other things: is qian jin keeping secrets in the same way lu guang is?#does xiao li have as big a weakness when it comes to acting on emotions as cxs? is qj-xl's split in the present an omen for lg-cxs?#but I do think the duos are aligned enough to reflect onto each other. and I hope that the show uses that to its full potential#link click#link click spoilers#shiguang daili ren spoilers#shiguang daili ren#oh. also. I find it interesting how both qj and cxs have faced loss in different ways and yet reacted so differently#Ik it's not been confirmed yet if lg has also gone through loss but if/when whatever's going on with him is confirmed I'd love to compare#qj is still careful/particular now but perhaps less by the book and definitely willing to dabble in illegal stuff he didn't as a cop#but in a way that comes off as ends justifies the means. His personality hasn't changed as much as it seems at first glance#he's just willing to bend his morals more to achieve his aims (does he think there may be a way to save his wife still?)#is it intentional he seems to be estranged from xl now he's into this side of things? if it were lg I'd say he'd push him away to protect#but he's not. so I don't want to ascribe that to him (yet)
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Now that Pokémon Legends Z-A has been announced, I can't wait for these guys to get some love.
#pokemon#pokemon presents#pokemon spoilers#kalos#pokemon legends z-a#in case someone hasn't gotten the reference yet#miraculous ladybug
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Arasaka!Vince is my great weakness...
Especially in the beginning, throughout all the training and whatnot, he often wonderd "How the hell did I end up here... and why am I not getting the fuck out again?" He grew up in a world of corporations, his own parents plotting against each other, and yet this was a side of it all he didn't know. He felt so out of place and yet like he shouldn't feel this way at the same time.
But as time went on and he began to realize "Hey... I'm actually really good at this" he began to not mind it as much anymore... the scheming, the intrigues, the violence, the high stakes and costs. It was like an intense rush at times, like going onto an extreme rollercoaster while high, but after years of life just passing him by it felt like he was finally living, like he had found his calling.
All his life being told "you're not good enough, and you'll never be good enough" and similar things, people at a place like Arasaka going "well done" did something big to him.
#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk v#corpo v#cp2077#cyberpunk photomode#cyberpunk vp#virtual photography#cyberpunk 2077 vp#gaming photography#gaming edits#male v monday#vincent ezaki#looking back at his couterintel job though he's often seeing it through rose tinted glasses#especially when everything sucks big time in the present#but honestly... he's so so much better off without them#he just hasn't fully realized it yet (but he'll get there)#my screenshots#my vp
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