#that no matter how badly your parent (or anyone) has abused you you have to make nice | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vaguely-concerned · 2 years ago

Text

listen I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore but on this playthrough of DA2 I found myself once more entranced and heartbroken to see hawke reenact their relationship with their mother with the entire cursed city of kirkwall. you can never do enough for leandra, and you can never do enough for kirkwall. leandra is proud of you, and kirkwall uplifts its champion, but no matter how hard you try for them you can't fix everything there that's broken, no one could, and even the fact that anyone would feel the burning responsibility to take that task on is a huge warning sign on its own. leandra will easily allow you to sacrifice yourself on the altar of the family's continued well-being again and again, even when she'll beg you to spare the twins from the same thing. it's such a sad, painfully realistic thing because I truly don't think leandra meant to fuck up her kids, and yet she primed her oldest for an abusive toxic codependent relationship with an entire ongoing dumpster fire of a city state better than she ever could have if she had meant to.

I think what leandra actually, deep down wants from you is something you can never ever give her and that is cruel to ask of anyone, but especially your kid -- to bring her back to a time when she was happy. to reclaim when you were all happy, when nothing was broken that couldn't be fixed, before malcolm died, before you had to leave behind bethany or carver's broken body on the ground. to get her childhood back from where she left it and found it all gone and in ruins when she returned. 'this is all your fault'. this is the tragedy of parenthood sometimes I think, that capacity to define a life: she said that once, in a moment of profound pain, and she probably wouldn't have said it under other circumstances and she apologizes later, but now hawke has to live with that forever. leandra can't bear her own emotions without letting them spill over onto someone else so she won't have to hold the discomfort of them anymore, and hawke is left to shoulder that burden and responsibility again and again, handed the impossible task of making it all okay again, somehow -- of stopping anything bad from ever happening again in the Nr 1 Bad Things Constantly Happening capital of thedas.

and then at the same time there's the mirror of how varric's whole family wants orzammar back (and to him orzammar is just a ghost he's seen in their eyes -- there's something in his voice when he says 'That stupid plate was the whole city of Orzammar to him' that gets me every time, how much he understands that he doesn't understand and how lonely that makes him among them, and on top of it all he's frustrated and ashamed and sad that he just doesn't get it and can't meet them on it -- like it's a betrayal that he actually belongs up here, when varric wants so badly to be loyal), just as the hawkes want happiness back. (I don't think it's Lothering in itself that longing is for, it's for being together. Lothering was just the place they stayed the longest.) they're all in exile, even as they try to make a new home out of that exile.

(varric and hawke's real 🤝 quality across all personalities, affinities and choices is 'parentified child' lmao. so much of varric's character makes perfect sense once you know he grew up supporting a mother who was an emotionally volatile alcoholic, honestly. between varric, the hawkes, isabela, seb if you have him and merrill's whole Situation with marethari I feel like DA2 covertly is to mommy issues what ME2 is to daddy issues fjsdjfa)

basically I think I'm trying to pick apart exactly why the fact that leandra is clearly proud of hawke and tells them so several times doesn't feel like it helps at all, almost feels more like a cage even though it's clearly meant well? and what I'm getting is that it's because my sense of what hawke actually needs, in general but especially from a parent, isn't admiration or approval but to be loved and supported and understood. I don't believe leandra ever quite understands them, and it scares her because it makes her think she maybe never even understood malcolm. (that's the subtext of a lot of what leandra will say about him in legacy, at least. he's slipping away from her as the years pass after his death and she fears she never really had him in the first place, if he had secrets like these.) she consistently treats her oldest more like a partner or peer than as her child, which considering hawke is always described as being very similar to their father… I mean I totally see how that could be easy to slip into for her after he died especially, but it doesn't make it any less fucked up or unfair.

the real leandra in legacy is. she is SO absurdly self-centered, if you really pay attention. I don't want to keep dunking on her because I don't think she's like this on purpose, but it boggles my mind. if you do the quest in act 1 she gets so upset and overwhelmed that the kids just sort of sit there like :( at the end, which adds to the trend that through the game you constantly see hawke comforting leandra, and you pretty much never see leandra comforting hawke, beyond some light vaguely encouraging comments in passing. if you do legacy in act 2 while she's still alive hawke comes to her, tentatively asking if malcolm ever spoke to her about any of it -- clearly requesting some sort of emotional support or help to make sense of it. she then expresses her side of it, but never once does she say anything to the effect of 'hey that was a lot to go through, are you okay after all that?'.

instead she essentially hands them the responsibility of having a good life, to repay what malcolm did for all of them. and in theory that's not the worst takeaway I suppose, malcolm probably would want them all to be happy, but in the moment it only feels like more expectation heaped upon you somehow? especially since you don't really get to express anything about how it made you feel before she goes to the 'ah no use complaining' zone (after SHE got to express her grief at feeling like she's losing more and more of that old life, and hawke barely got to say anything fhsfalkjfs). in general she really doesn't do much like. parenting, does she haha. there is so much love there in that relationship, and yet so little comfort. Oh, those days. All of us, in that simple place. Well, that's neither here nor there, is it. This life, we have to make the best of it. And thanks to you, and him, I will. Oh well, mum, I'm uh. I'm glad you feel better after that, at least. Nice to be of service.

it's varric's ghost-leandra who actually acknowledges what a burden hawke has taken on, that shows an understanding of why they're doing it, acknowledges the loss they've been through and also reassures them in their sense of belonging that still can't be taken from them, despite it all -- The best of him is still with you. The best of all of us. It's what makes you try so hard. You'll always have that. We'll always be family. (you can't take 'loved' away, huh.) you get a bit more of a reconciliation/reconnection between hawke and their dad's memory by being reminded he got like this too, you know (implicitly you're not alone). varric through leandra is the one who tells them what they probably would have wanted and needed to hear from a parent right then -- It's going to be alright. that's what Hawke, The Champion means to everyone else, and for once they get to be the one to hear it. except only in a kind dream that never really happened. I. it. hmmmmmm. crushing. that is crushing. but also so incredibly tender from varric's side, and so moving to me that he's seen all this stuff and so desperately wants to give them that comfort. anyway DA2 is about love in some of the realest and thus messiest and most human ways I've ever seen and it makes my brain go wild it's my favorite game of all time goodnight

#I don't even know what I'm saying anymore folks please just. accept this. it makes no sense/compels me though etc.#dragon age meta #dragon age #dragon age 2 #hawke #leandra amell #honestly someone should do an analysis of the mother figures of DA2 because oh BOY something is up here #elthina and all her talk of the chantry as a 'gentle mother' very much included #as I believe terry pratchett once wrote:#That's Nature for you in a nutshell. Always dealing off the bottom of the pack. No wonder they called her a mother.

2K notes · View notes

starrgrlll · 20 days ago

Text

Fable

1. 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞𝐬

𝐅𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 • 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 • 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

Chapter 1 :

Summary:

JAMES POTTER, wanted Lily Evan's badly, ever since first year at the sorting ceremony. No matter how many gifts, efforts, and actions James tried to use, Lily wouldn't go out with James. Lilly was the only girl James would even look at as if she was the only girl in the world, which unknowingly had hurt one of his best friends. Y/n Nott was the fifth marauder but only until the beginning of third year when she disappeared without a goodbye.

Y/N NOTT has been in love with James Potter ever since their first year. To his silly pranks and beautiful smile that made her smile grow wide. Y/n and James were best friends, never seen without one or another, but that all came crumbling down when James obsession with the Evan's girl grew, overshadowing his own best friend. The final blow to their relationship was when he had chosen Lily over Y/n who had been by his side no matter what. Unable to face James in the upcoming year Y/n left Hogwarts, without saying goodbye.

Now Y/n is coming back to Hogwarts for her fifth year. Undoubtedly Y/n was excited to be back at Hogwarts, though that meant she'd have to see a certain boy.

Warnings:

Y/N IS A NOTT!!, y/n has she/ her pronouns and is known as a girl. Mental abuse, semi panic attacks, and sad thoughts.

Lmk if there’s anymore.

★ ° :. ★ * • ° * • ○ °:.○ ° ★° . *★ ° * • ★ °:. ★

𝐓𝐡𝐞 loudness of platforms 9 and 3/4 filled Y/n Nott's ears, so many people, young witches and wizards were excited for the upcoming school year, and parents who are saddened by the departure of their children.

Y/n Nott couldn't help but feel the excitement coursing through her veins, imagining her upcoming years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, hopefully making a bunch of friends and being free.

Freedom was something Y/n yearned for, freedom from her father's expectations, and the freedom of being a young witch with her friends.

That is if she makes any.

While caught up in her thoughts Y/n felt a strong and harsh grip on her shoulders, one she was sure would leave a few bruises on her shoulders the next morning.

Atticus Nott leaned down towards his daughter's ear. "Remember child, should I hear a word of you acting out of line or matter of factly, if I get any letter from anyone that is not your weekly check-ins you know what will be waiting for you at home."

Y/n's blood ran cold, fear gripping her body intensely. "Yes Father, I will not disappoint you." Her voice wavered as if the thought alone closed her throat, looking up at her father with shining hopeful eyes. In return, Y/n got a hum of approval and a pat on the head.

Y/n felt herself subconsciously leaning into her father's hand seeking the warmth in his hand, something she hadn't felt in a long time.

Atticus left without another glance at his daughter, walking towards his son. Y/n's twin, Tiberius was the star in their father's eye. The child that he was proud of, his only son.

Y/n sometimes wonders if she had been a boy as well would she get the same kind of love Tiberius gets? Was it that because she was born a girl that made her so below her older brother?

Y/n attention was shifted when she heard Kathrine Nott bend down in front of her.

Looking at her mom who looked at her daughter's identical Y/ec eyes that reflected her own, Kathrine couldn't hold in her sobs anymore.

Pulling her youngest daughter into her arms. "My precious girl, I hope you know how proud I am of you, you're growing so fast."

Kathrine Nott tightened her hold on her daughter. " I love you so much, my darling girl." Pulling back Kathrine looked at her daughter one last time and stood back.

Y/n looked at her mom, with tears going down her cheeks. " I love you too Mom."

With that Kathrine motions for her kids to head to the train, before grabbing her husband's hand and apparating away.

Y/n ran ahead of her brother who stopped to talk with Malfoy.

A whole new adventure awaits her.

★ ° :. ★ * • ° * • ○ °:.○ ° ★° . *★ ° * • ★ °:. ★

༒🝮⇝Hogwarts Express ⇜🝮༒

The whistle of the Hogwarts Express pierced the air, loud and commanding, as the train hissed with steam. Y/n hesitated to step onto the train.

Around her, students were rushing to board, laughing and shouting goodbyes to their families. She could feel her chest tighten as she glanced back, half-hoping her parents might still be there.

But her father was gone, his sharp words still echoing in her ears. Her mother's tearful smile was the last thing she had seen before they Disapparated.

"Come on, Y/n!" Tiberius's voice cut through her thoughts. Her twin was already several steps ahead, his head held high and his shoulder back as if he owned the platform. He didn't even glance back to check if she was following.

Y/n shook off the hesitation and forced herself forward, her heart thudding as she climbed onto the train.

Inside, the narrow corridor buzzed with energy—students leaned out of compartments to call to friends, luggage rattled as the train hummed with life, and the mingled scent of polished wood and train smoke filled the air.

She tried to follow her brother but he left her behind.

Now, she was alone and trying to find somewhere to go, glancing into compartments as she passed.

Some were already full, others were occupied by groups of older students who didn't even spare her a glance.

For a moment, panic fluttered in her chest. Where do I sit? What if I don't belong anywhere?

The panic started to consume Y/n's chest, her breathing becoming labored as she walked through the lengthy brown hall of compartments.

The sounds of laughter echoed through the halls following her every step she made, as if it was ghost haunting her.

Reaching the other side of the train, Y/n noticed an empty compartment. Sliding open the doors, the scent of newly waxed seats. Sliding the doors open and walking in. Y/n couldn't help but feel the dread fill her stomach. "Well, Y/nn another year by yourself it seems."

She muttered to herself as she sat down, and pulled out something that was sticking out of her robe pocket, something that wasn't there earlier.

Y/n sat in the corner of an empty compartment, staring out at the blur of the countryside as the Hogwarts Express sped forward.

The hum of excitement from the other students outside her door felt distant like a world she wasn't part of.

When she put her hands in the pockets of her robes there was something in her pockets.

It was a letter from her mother, with tears gathering in Y/n's eyes she ripped open the envelope.

My Dearest girl,

By the time you read this, you'll be on your way to Hogwarts, starting a new chapter of your life. I can hardly believe how quickly the years have flown by—my little girl, now a young witch heading off to find her path.

I know you've been feeling uncertain about what lies ahead, and I wish more than anything that I could be there to guide you.

But remember this, my love: you are braver than you realize, smarter than you give yourself credit for, and kinder than most people will ever understand.

Hogwarts will bring challenges, but it will also give you the freedom to grow into the person you're meant to be.

Don't let anyone make you feel small or unworthy, Y/n. You have a strength in you that even your father cannot see, and I hope you never let it fade.

If the days feel lonely or the world seems against you, know that you are never truly alone.

I will always be proud of you, no matter what house you're sorted into, no matter the mistakes you might make, and no matter where your journey takes you.

Keep this letter close, and when you need it most, I hope it reminds you of my love. You are my bright star, Y/n, and you always will be.

With all my love,

Mum

Her mother's handwriting was delicate but steady, every word written with care. As her eyes moved over the words, Y/n felt the tightness in her chest grow and the tears dripping down her cheeks.

"You are braver than you realize, smarter than you give yourself credit for..."

The words blurred as more tears welled up in her eyes. Y/n sniffed and quickly wiped her cheeks, glancing toward the door to make sure no one had seen her.

The last thing she needed was to be caught crying before the school year had even started.

"I will always be proud of you, no matter what house you're sorted into..."

Her fingers tightened around the parchment. It was hard to imagine anyone being proud of her—her father certainly wasn't.

He never would be, not as long as Tiberius stood by his side, casting a shadow over her. But her mother's words felt different. Genuine.

And for a moment, Y/n allowed herself to believe them.

Folding the letter carefully, she tucked it into the pocket of her robes.

The heaviness in her chest lingered, but the words had kindled a small spark of warmth. She would keep this letter with her, a quiet reminder that someone believed in her, even when she couldn't believe in herself.

Y/n sighed, leaning her head against the cool glass of the window. Maybe it was better this way—alone.

At least she wouldn't have to explain herself or pretend she was fine.

The train chugged forward, and for the first time, the excitement she had felt earlier seemed to dim.

Hogwarts felt far away, and home felt even farther.

The door to the compartment slid open suddenly, startling her.

Y/n quickly wiped her face again and straightened her posture, trying to look composed.

"Hey," a boy said, leaning casually against the doorframe. His untidy black hair was an absolute mess, and his brown eyes sparkled with an easy confidence. He looked around, taking in the empty seats before glancing at her. "This seat taken?"

Y/n hesitated, unsure how to respond. But before she could say anything, the boy glanced at her tear-streaked face, his grin faltering.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a concerned tone, stepping inside the compartment quickly without another thought and sitting next to Y/n.

Y/n blinked, startled by his presence. She quickly straightened up, brushing her hands over her robes as if that might make her seem less... lost.

"I'm fine," she said clearing her throat.

The boy didn't move.

Instead, he tilted his head slightly, studying her with a kind of curiosity that made her uncomfortable.

"You don't look fine," he said bluntly, though his tone wasn't unkind. "You've been sitting in here all by yourself since we left the station."

Y/n frowned, feeling the prick of defensiveness rise in her chest. "Maybe I like being alone."

He smirked at that, crossing his arms.

"C'mon, no one likes being alone." Titled his head teasingly. "I'm James, by the way. James Potter."

"Y/n Nott," she replied reluctantly.

James turned in his seat, facing her. "So, Y/n Nott," he began with a grin that suggested trouble, "does being a Nott mean you've got some ancient family rulebook tucked away in your trunk? You know, something like: 'Chapter One—How to Scowl Properly at strangers'?"

Y/n blinked at him, momentarily stunned by the cheeky question.

"What?" she said, half-offended, half-amused.

James chuckled, clearly enjoying himself. "I'm just saying—you Slytherin pureblood families all seem so serious. Do they make you practice looking intimidating before you come to school?"

He straightened his posture dramatically and furrowed his brow, his voice dropping into a mock-serious tone.

"Never smile in public, and always maintain perfect posture, or you'll disgrace the family name.'"

Despite herself, Y/n felt a laugh bubbling up. She quickly bit her lip to suppress it, trying to appear unimpressed. "I don't have a rulebook, and I don't scowl," she replied, though there was a hint of a smile tugging at her lips.

James raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. "No rulebook? Shame. I was hoping to borrow it—might come in handy for when I have to get us out of trouble in the future."

He leaned forward slightly, his brown eyes twinkling with mischief. "But if you did have one, it'd probably have my name on the 'Avoid At All Costs' list, wouldn't it?"

Y/n couldn't help it anymore—she laughed, shaking her head. "You're ridiculous," she said, the weight in her chest easing just a little.

"Ridiculously charming," James corrected with a wink, fixing his glasses. "See? I knew I could get you to smile. You're not as scary as you look."

She rolled her eyes, but the smile lingered. "And you're not as funny as you think you are."

"Ouch. Harsh," James replied, clutching his chest in mock offense and falling back as if she wounded him. "But I'll win you over eventually, Y/n. Just you wait."

Y/n's smile fell quickly, going silent, the tightness in her chest constricted James seemed to catch the change in her demeanor.

Instead of pressing further, he layed across the seat and propped his legs across Y/n's legs.

Y/n stared at him, unsure what to make of this bold boy who had barged into her lonely solitude.

"Why?" she asked suspiciously. "Why do you care?"

James shrugged, his grin softening into something more genuine.

"Dunno. Just seemed like the right thing to do. Besides, we're all new here. Figure we might as well stick together, yeah?"

His words caught her off guard.

She hadn't expected anyone to reach out to her, let alone someone who seemed so at ease with himself.

For a moment, she considered brushing him off, retreating into the safety of her solitude.

But something about the warmth in his voice, the way he didn't seem to care about her family name or her guarded demeanor, made her hesitate.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

James grinned again, leaning back in his seat. "No problem. So, Y/n Nott, what are you most excited about at Hogwarts?"

The question was simple, but it caught her off guard. No one had asked her that before—not in a way that felt genuine.

She hesitated, then said,

"Freedom."

James raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"Freedom, huh? That's a good one. But just so you know, the professors might not feel the same way about letting us run wild."

A small smile tugged at the corner of Y/n's mouth. "I'll keep that in mind."

A comfortable silence came over the compartment, Y/n feeling lighter and happier, something she hadn't felt in a long time.

Y/n was just beginning to relax when the door to the compartment slid open yet again.

She glanced up, It was a boy who entered and held an effortless confidence about him. His long dark hair framed his face, and his gray eyes sparkled with something both mischievous and guarded.

He looked around the empty seats, then at James, then finally at Y/n. Y/n recognized the boy, he was a boy who stood by his mother's side who held a tight grip on his shoulder, not letting him play with the other kids at the pure blood balls that were held annually.

"Mind if I sit here?" he asked, though he didn't wait for an answer before dropping into the seat across from Y/n. He stretched out his legs.

James raised an eyebrow, an amused smile playing on his lips. "Bit forward, aren't you?"

The boy smirked, completely unfazed. "You didn't say no."

Y/n stayed quiet, watching the exchange. An amused smile stretched onto her face, the boy was certainly a character that's for sure.

"I'm Sirius," the boy said finally, leaning back casually. "Sirius Black."

James's eyes widened slightly. "Black? As in the Black family?"

Sirius's smirk faltered for a moment, but he recovered quickly. "Yeah, what of it?" he said, his tone daring James to make something of it.

James grinned, leaning forward.

"Just didn't expect someone from that lot to look so... normal. Aren't you supposed to have, I don't know, robes made of dragonhide and a permanent scowl or something?" His tone was teasing.

"Well, I hate to disappoint," Sirius said dryly, "but I left my dragonhide robes at home. Decided to try blending in for once."

James snorted. "Blending in, sure. You just barged into this compartment like you owned the place."

Sirius grinned again, leaning forward. "And yet here I am. You didn't kick me out, did you?"

Y/n, who had been quietly observing the banter, decided to speak up.

"If you two are done sizing each other up, maybe we can talk like normal people?"

Both boys turned to her, surprised. Then Sirius chuckled. "Fair enough. And who are you, then?"

"Y/n Nott," she said, crossing her arms over her lap.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "A Nott, huh? Well, now I know why you seemed familiar, you were always at the pureblood balls.

Honestly, seeing you here is unexpected. I didn't think I'd be running into another one of the 'esteemed' pureblood families so soon."

"Don't lump me in with all that," Y/n said quickly, her tone sharp, and glared at the wavy-haired boy.

Sirius looked at her for a moment, then gave her a small nod. "Fair-,"

Sirius was interrupted by the compartment door sliding open again, and this time, a boy stood hesitantly in the doorway.

He was a tall boy, taller than Sirius and James, with light brown hair and light scars on his face.

There was something cautious about him, the way he lingered just beyond the threshold with his hand still on the doorframe.

"Sorry," the boy mumbled, his voice soft. "I didn't realize this compartment was full. I can—"

"You can sit," Y/n interrupted before he could finish, giving him a warm smile. Something that surprised even herself.

The boy blinked, looking surprised. "Are you sure? I don't want to—"

"Sit," Y/n said firmly, offering him a warm smile. She gestured to the spot next to Sirius. "There's plenty of room."

Sirius raised an eyebrow but scooted over to make space, his curiosity piqued. The boy smiled and stepped inside settling into the seat.

He kept a book clutched tightly to his chest, as though it was something important to him.

"I'm Remus Lupin," he said glancing around at the others.

"James Potter," James said, leaning forward with a wide grin. "It's nice to meet you."

"Sirius Black," Sirius added, his tone casual but his sharp gray eyes studying the new arrival with interest.

"Y/n Nott," she said, her voice warmer than before.

Remus nodded, his shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. "Nice to meet you all."

"So, what's your story, Remus?" Sirius asked, leaning back in his seat with an air of nonchalance. "You look like you've got something to hide."

Remus stiffened, his grip tightening on his bag and eyes narrowing onto Sirius. "I have no—"

"Sirius, quit, don't scare him off," Y/n said sharply, shooting Sirius a look.

"What? I'm just curious!" Sirius replied, holding up his hands in mock innocence.

Remus gave Y/n a grateful glance before clearing his throat. "I'm just... me, like everyone else. Nothing special."

James grinned, clearly eager to steer the conversation in a lighter direction.

"Well, you've landed in the right compartment. We're all 'nothing special,' apparently. Except for Sirius, who thinks he's the best thing since self-stirring cauldrons."

Sirius smirked. "I am the best thing since self-stirring cauldrons, Potter."

Remus chuckled softly, the tension in his posture easing further.

Y/n leaned back, satisfied that the boy seemed more comfortable now. "Don't mind them," she said to Remus. "They're harmless. Hopefully."

"Hey!" James and Sirius protested in unison, though their grins betrayed their amusement.

Remus smiled, a genuine one this time, and Y/n felt a small flicker of pride. She wasn't sure what had made her want to step in, but she was glad she had.

As the train continued its journey, the conversation flowed more easily, with the four of them exchanging stories, jokes, and guesses about what awaited them at Hogwarts. And for the first time, Y/n felt like she might just fit in after all.

James leaned back, his smile wide. "Looks like we've got quite the crowd here. A Nott, a Black, A lupin, and a Potter. Sounds like the start of a bad joke."

Sirius smirked. "Yeah? And what's the punchline?"

"We'll find out soon enough," James said, crossing his arms with a smile.

The train rocked gently as it picked up speed, and the three of them settled into an easy rhythm of conversation. For the first time since boarding, Y/n felt herself relaxing. Maybe this was what freedom could feel like—a chance to start fresh, away from the weight of expectations and family names.

And maybe, just maybe, she had found her first real friends.

★ ° :. ★ * • ° * • ○ °:.○ ° ★° . *★ ° * • ★ °:. ★

A SPEAK'S:

So if you see the name Estella, or any other warning that need to be added into this let me know! This is also written on Wattpad so please let me know!

I’m open to any constructive criticism DO NOT BE MEAN!

I hope you enjoy lovely readers!

#james potter x reader #Harry potter #Lilly Evans #severus snape #sirius orion black #remus lupin #barty crouch jr #regulus black #x Reader #angst #peter pettigrew

29 notes · View notes

notmorbid · 1 month ago

Text

model home.

dialogue prompts from model home: a novel by rivers solomon.

i don't want nothing to do with you right now.

want some company?

abuse of power surprises me every time, actually.

knowledge has never saved anyone.

this house lures in animals with a death wish.

my god, what would the neighbors think?

every day, everyone is a hundred different people.

i don't even know what i need to be ready for.

should i be worried?

you're not going to post that, are you?

the kids who grow up fine do so because of us or despite us.

what's the point of gated communities? the bad people are already inside. this is their fort.

is it me who haunts? me who is the ghost?

i cannot say everything. cannot tell the whole truth.

to look yourself in the eye and face up to what you've done is not a task you can survive. not when you've done the things i have.

i am always playing hide and seek with my own damn self.

when you see something you want, get it. why ask questions, you know?

a house like ours gives scars. people ask about them.

i always want to fuck people who aren't immediately available to me.

i'm not interested in people once the spark of newness has faded.

our neighborhood is a demon, and our house is its belly. digesting us.

be quiet, for once in your damn life.

who is it you're looking for?

i'm not a person. i'm a place where bad things happen.

you know i don't bullshit. not to anyone.

why does it matter what i think?

it's stupid to run from pain instead of to it. pain always comes.

what's it feel like inside your body right now?

the world doesn't make a lick of sense, does it?

it hasn't hit me yet, i don't think.

it makes me tired seeing how good your life is.

the central tenet of my parenting philosophy is not saying what mama would say.

you'll learn when you're ready.

if i don't show them who i am, they can't disapprove.

you're not a real person. you're a paper doll.

what happened to us being family?

how jarring, the different versions of events we all have.

come to bed. i'll even let you be little spoon.

i need you to shut the fuck up.

i am trying to find the beauty here. the appeal.

please pretend i didn't say that. that's not who i am.

i know the pain of realizing what you're capable of.

you aren't gonna be okay. you know that, right?

i was never going to be okay.

maybe you shouldn't be alone right now.

fucked up recognizes fucked up.

i don't know if there's a distinction between self harm and self pleasure, for me.

do you think god is a horse girl, or a wolf girl?

how will it look, if we try to hide the evidence?

my body knows things before i do.

you said you missed me. here i am.

who sees beauty and does not want to experience it?

parents atone for their personal lacks by punishing their offspring.

teenagers aren't interested in being with their families. right?

don't get involved in grown folks' business.

you should probably be on antidepressants or something.

the first step of an american mall adventure is getting your ears badly pierced at claire's.

i made all your favorites.

do you not think your experiences were particularly extreme?

i can't really live because i don't let things die.

i have learned to close my eyes against the world.

you can't help me. no one can.

if it's not my fault, there's truly not a thing i can do.

i'm only an animal, not a god.

get your shit and get out.

it's not your job to ask questions. it's your job to do what you're told.

we can reproduce only what we know.

straight up, there is bad juju afoot.

a death in the family is torture for the control freak.

we need to tell somebody.

don't you want to live somewhere else?

what happens to us matters. otherwise, what tethers us to the living?

the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but it also gets the beating.

how can you know, beyond a doubt, what's right?

'a family matter' is a phrase used to protect abuse.

the world doesn't make sense. why should we?

i'm tired of being the bad guy.

i need you to try to remember what you did.

believe me. please. please believe me.

there is no such thing as 'never again'.

money? that shit rots your fucking brain.

so much of what we speak is our attempt to make our fantasies real.

it isn't easy to leave your home, even when that home terrorizes you.

psychological cages are real cages.

you're shaking. please talk to me.

old problems require old solutions.

'perfect' is the enemy of 'good'.

my mind likes to play tricks on me. new ways every day.

i always expect nights like this to be quiet.

the darkness hides us as much as it hides the ghosts.

so much of you is an image you're constructing.

i can't tell the difference between grief and ghosts. both seize the body and take what they will.

i was starting to believe that maybe i made it all up.

i wish i knew how to help you. can you tell me?

is that what you think it is? a story i tell myself?

every feeling to me is a funny feeling.

can i hug you? would that be alright?

i didn't want to disturb you. you looked very studious.

your heart is so big. it's the biggest thing i've ever seen.

maybe there is no saving, only salvaging.

#rp meme #rp memes #sentence starters #ask memes #ask meme #inbox memes #rp prompts #horror meme #lgbt #families

31 notes · View notes

x-candy-guts-x · 2 years ago

Text

Yautja x human ft worm on a string

I had some more thoughts :)

•It’s really interesting to me how humans are at their core a prey species. You can argue that forwards facing eyes are a trait of predators however it’s seen in basically all monkeys and apes and they are primarily vegetarians. They eat small prey like insects or small mammals but aren’t on the scale of say k-9’s, felines, and other obligatory carnivores. I believe it’s primarily a trait derived from our deeply social species. Our eyes are a huge part of our kinds communication wether we are looking at something or someone. We follow the direction of peoples eyes when talking. It’s been a great tool in our development.

•that being said I feel like predatory species like the yautja would find it fascinating to watch a human go from prey species to brutal predator in a matter of moments due to any given circumstances. Our instincts to danger are typically the five F’s. Fight, flight, freeze, fawn and faint. (For those of you who don’t know freeze is when you become unresponsive much like a deer in the headlight. Fawn is when you try to essentially suck up to the threat and get them to calm down and no longer be a threat. This is usually seen in abusive relationships where people will try to appease their abusor by avoiding conflict or doing whatever they can to get the abusor in a good mood again even at their own detriment. And faint is well.. faint lol.)

•Humans developed carrion stomachs due to our tendency to go after the largest strongest prey possible. We had so much meat we couldn’t eat it all and it would spoil. Our stomachs developed strong acids to kill bacteria in meat that has been sitting.

•humans are one of the only species on the planet to actively hunt the largest and strongest of any animal in a given herd/group. Which I think is something the yautja relate too.

•for humans this was out of necessity. The biggest animal provided the most food for our large social groups. We needed to provide the most food for our people. And our ability to kill from a distance and out do our prey in endurance allowed us to not have to worry about energy expenditure like big cats who hunt alone and need to conserve as much as possible thus hunting whatever is the easiest.

•we did this for so long that we developed predatory instincts. However at our core we still have prey instincts. Your yautja finds that cute. :)

•he is much larger, stronger and deadlier than you without armor and weapons. Sharp teeth and claws with a scaled hide and muscle structure that could knock over a bus is nothing to sneeze at. He absolutely adores the difference between the two of you. Your much smaller form with soft skin and tiny blunt teeth and nails is endearing. But this also makes him extra worried for you when you go hunting. He has to remember that humans are fine predators but only when they have someone else to rely on.

•humans are NOT meant to be alone. In virtually anything. Todays society will have you believe in toxic ideals like pulling yourself up by your boot straps and not needing to rely on anyone. But humans at their very core are meant to be in large deeply socially bonded groups. It takes a village to raise 1 human properly. And our society has forgotten that. Your yautja finds it deeply unsettling when he finds out that your culture is not as social as it seems from the outside looking in. With everyone living so close together and there being so many people in such small areas you’d think everyone would know everybody. But it couldn’t be further from the truth. Single parents and fear stricken neighbors run rampant in most of the cities. So when he sees you pack bonding with a roomba he takes it upon himself to be your best friend.

•that’s another thing. Humans are so social we pack bond with virtually anything. We crave intimacy so badly (not like that you pervs) that we will pack bond with ANYTHING. You name it. A dog? So common. A car? Strange to him but not uncommon for one to become at least a little attached to something important like that. A fuzzy noodle with googly eyes attached? It’s a worm on a string? Ok we’re getting you some help.

•your getting dragged to an oomanologist and he prescribes you a pet.

•your pet ate the worm on a string

•there were tears

•he’s secretly happy about it

•he actually tried to get rid of it several times. Garbage shoot? You walked in on him mid act. Burn it? The bastard wouldn’t even reach the fire because the string kept getting tangled to twigs and branches that hovered above it. A tall shelf? Well he found you sitting on top of the fridge like a gargoyle once so that was out of the question.

•your yautja regularly has to remember that he’s a lot bigger than you and you are so smol. His voice alone can startle you if your not expecting it! There goes the prey instincts again. Loud noises are not your friend that’s for sure.

•did you know that in alien vs predator they used tiger roar sound effects for the yautja roars? They actually do this in a lot of movies and it pisses me off especially when they attach it to things like mountain lions who literally can’t roar but that’s besides the point- anyway tiger roars are actually capable of STUNNING their prey. There’s something about the volume and frequency that actually temporarily stubs other creatures. If the yautja canonically roar similar to tigers and he accidentally stuns you OmG.

•so much purring

•he’s on his knees hugging you trying to make himself small.

•this dude cannot navigate your human home.

•he broke a dining room chair sitting in it

• he’s too big for the hallways without ducking and turning sideways partially sometimes.

•hand holding is so cute. Ur hands are just so tiny compared to his

•he does research on monkeys and sees how grooming is a very important social que and he connects this to humans. Unfortunately he didn’t think that humans were so prudish around nudity so when he just picked you up and threw you into a big tub he was NOT ready for those hands.

•predator instincts activate 🔫

•he almost drowned

•mildly scared of you

•your so small how are you that strong

•when y’all do get comfortable enough though he loves bath time :)

•scratches your little head with his claws (lightly) a lot

•plays with your hair a lot especially in the tub

•your self care routine becomes his care for human routine

•honestly? He fucking prides himself on how well taken care of you are. He flaunts you like you have a pedigree

• “my ooman is better than yours”

•que fight

•you become friends with the other human and while they’re fighting, you guys are sitting in the dirt playing games.

•they come back like ?? Hello? Did you not see us? WERE U EVEN WATCHING?

•you get mad at him? He went and got you new worms

•all the colors

•he has a worm for his ships dash. He chills. Sometimes you catch him playing with it

•I had more ideas but I forgot

#predator x human #predator x reader #yautja #predator #predator x you #predators #alien vs predator

427 notes · View notes

fairystar111 · 10 months ago

Text

Birds of a Feather

By: fairystar111

Rating: Gen

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia

Summary:

Life isn't fair to those who don't take what they want The sooner you take what is yours the happier you'll be Now that Hawks finally has a family to call his own he won't ever let them go...

Characters: Hawks | Keigo Takami, Tokoyami Fumikage, Dabi | Touya Todoroki, Shouto Todoroki.

CW/Tags: Kidnapping, Parental Takami Keigo, Yandere, Stockholm Syndrome, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Stalking, Infantilism, Parental Yandere, Yandere Hawks, Animalistic Behavior, Animal Instincts, Forced Bonding, DabixHawks, Winged Tokoyami Fumikage.

Start/Previous/Next

If there was one thing Takami Keigo knew for a fact it was that his life did not matter in the grand scheme of things. His wants and needs would never matter to anyone. Before he was sold to the commission his mother neglected him, leaving him to starve and struggle to survive by himself; while turning a blind eye to his father abusing him. They never cared about him living or dying; they didn't even bother to ask the commission what he they wanted him for when they sold him. The commission trained him to be the perfect heroic puppet in daylight and a trained assassin by night. They beat him and tortured him to prepare him for the harsh battles he would fight when he was older. None of them cared that a six year old couldn’t consent, only increasing his punishments when he would resist the training. They tried to train all his bird characteristics out of him, calling them unsightly and abnormal. They shaved his talons and fangs down into bleeding little nubs, plucked his tail feathers, and punished him whenever he would release any bird-like sounds. For years he was convinced everyone would hate him if he let any of these traits show.

He was just a cog in the machine; he would live his life running for other people until he finally broke and was replaced. It was a simple fact that he knew would always be true. That was until he was given the order to infiltrate the League of Villains. Then he met Dabi and he taught him how to be loved and appreciated in a way he had never known before. He taught him what had happened to him was wrong and that he doesn’t have to take the abuse any longer now that he was here for him. The league treats him like family; they are the only people in his life that ever truly cared about him. It really hurt that a government sanctioned commission could treat him so badly that villains were what he looked forward to seeing everyday.

He was conflicted about whether staying a hero was really worth it for a long time. Until he met his baby bird Tokoyami Fumikage. The then intern was just supposed to be a routine apprentice he took on for three weeks and would never have to see again. But unlike with his previous interns Hawks found himself absolutely infatuated with Tokoyami and his quirk Dark Shadow. He’s not sure if it's because of the avian nature of their quirks or how well they got along but at the end of the three weeks Hawks did not want to let Tokoyami go. The kid reminded him of a cuter version of Dabi. He had a sarcastic and serious personality but would often laugh and indulge Kiego in his games. The boy's little shadow was quite happy and funny to be around too, often blurting out things the other was thinking, but it was fiercely protective of its user and once even snapped at Hawks for simply trying to hug Fumikage when saying goodbye.

For weeks after the internship Keigo’s mind could not stop drifting away to think about Tokoyami. Would Tokoyami like this drink? That looks like a sweater Tokoyami would like? Does Tokoyami have a nest? Would he like this blanket for it? So much that it was distracting him on his partols, he got a particularly harsh punishment for it by his handlers. But he couldn't help it, his bird brain had latched on to Tokoyami as his chick and it was not letting him forget. Everytime he had to do something his mind would always lead back to his chick. Is he eating enough? Has he been preening his feathers correctly? Is there anyone there to keep him warm? Does he have anyone to play with? Is he happy?

Since Hawks couldn't stay focused he decided it would be okay to visit Tokoyami every once in a while… without telling him. It started off small, just him following the chick to school in the morning and then watching him walk back to his house. He had to watch out for his little chick since clearly no one was there to protect him! Then it transitioned to looking through his windows, planting feathers in his room to listen in, sneaking into his attic, coming through his window at night and watching him sleep.

What he realized while watching his chick was that his parents did not love him as much as he could. It's probably because he is so different from them. Neither parent had any avian quirks in their family histories when he researched their geneology. Tokoyami was a completely random mutation they were not expecting. They take care of him, give him basic necessities and don't abuse him but they don’t love him. They weren't even feeding him the correct diet for a hatchling for christ's sake. There were no hugs, no kisses, no affection whatsoever which isn't a crime but Keigo could do so much better than them. There was no way for him to get Tokoyami out of there legally because there was technically no abuse being committed. If anything he was technically committing a crime by watching a minor. He’s not stalking okay! He's just protecting his fledgling rightfully so. But if word ever got out about this his career would be destroyed.

He was comfortable with the routine just silently watching over his chick from the shadows. Until the commission informed him that they were looking into Tokoyami for the paragon program he had been raised in. They wanted to make him into a full time assassin. They thought his quirk would be great for taking out large numbers of people quickly. But unlike him Tokoyami would not be doing any daytime hero work since he has more physical mutations. The commission could never want someone like him in the limelight representing them. It took everything in Hawks that day not to murder the commission president for daring to even consider using his Tokoyami as an assassin. He knew his chick’s parents wouldn’t fight for him if the commission came knocking. He had to find a way to take his chick for himself once and for all.

So he confessed his sins to the league. He told them everything from how he grew up to how he was bought and raised by the commission. He told them about the infiltration mission and how he had come to love the little family they had despite the spying. And lastly he told them about his chick and the commission wanting to steal him and put him in the same program he was raised in. They were understandably angry at first, except Dabi, he knew the whole time, but they understood his situation and they would help him take down the commission and get his chick back.

He fought alongside the league to bring down hero society and won. Together they tore down the commission. He helped his mate kill Endeavor and give his family peace. It was finally over but… the little bird he was fighting for flew away. During the chaos of the war his chick had fled to god knows where with the rest of his class leaving him behind. His chick left him… Keigo did everything for him and he just left to hide away in some desolate hideout with some pest who could never treat him as well as he does. When he finds him he is going to smother him and love him so much he won't remember the life he had before Keigo. Tokoyami will be begging for him to never leave again once he is through with him…

Dark Shadow knew that while he was his beloved Fumi’s quirk he was also an entirely separate entity from his brother. He could feel what was going through Fumi’s head but Fumi could not do the same for him. He is his brother's built-in protector; he’s been caring for Fumi since he emerged as his quirk when no one else would. He could detect the danger Fumi couldn't feel and respond before he got hurt. So that is why he is so uneasy around Hawks. Their mentor always acted outwardly kind and warm to them but Dark Shadow could sense danger radiating off the man. This man could not be trusted around his Fumi. There was something very off about Hawks that Fumi couldn't sense like he could.

The entire internship he could not rest easily and he refused to retreat back into his brother when Hawks was around. It didn't feel safe to leave Fumi alone with that man. It all came to a head when the final day of their internship Hawks tried to hug Fumi and Dark Shadow lashed out beak piercing through the skin of the man's hand. Fumi had gotten really angry with him for that but he couldn't help it. That day the aura surrounding Hawks was suffocating, like a predator stalking their prey waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. From then on Fumi would not believe him when he said he felt Hawk’s presence. Fumi would argue that Hawks was so busy in Fukuoka that he would never have the time to come visit them. He would tell him to stop acting crazy but Dark Shadow knew that something was very very wrong, but Fumi just wouldn’t listen.

Darks Shadow’s concerns had come to fruition when they turned on the television one day and saw a video released by Dabi detailing his life of abuse he endured as the son of Endeavour. The video ending only for a news broadcast to begin showing Hawks fighting alongside Dabi of the League of Villains, the duo successfully killing the number two pro hero. Shortly after Hawks released his own video detailing the abuse he went through during his time in the paragon program. He talked about how he was bought by the commission and was forced to sign a contract at six that meant he would work for them for the rest of his life. He announced that he was done being a hero and he was going to bring down all of those who've wronged him.

Dark Shadow had been correct but now it's too late for them…

As Tokoyami awoke his eyes wandered groggily, taking in the room he was in. The space was huge with enormous windows and tall ceilings. There were large perches made to look like branches high on the wall for birds to rest on and large divots in the wall near the ceiling for hiding. The ceiling looked tall enough for someone to fly in there. He was at the bottom of a large nest with tall sturdy but soft walls surrounding him. The nest was decorated with many soft pillows and fluffy blankets, it was making his avian instincts very happy. He was distracted cooing in the nest happily; it wasn't until he tried to call out to Dark Shadow that the happy haze taking over his mind shattered. He couldn’t feel dark shadow anymore. Why couldn’t he feel him? Then it all came rushing back to him. Hawks had kidnapped him. The mentor he trusted and cared for had betrayed him and took away his brother. Tokoyami was so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice the distress chirping he was releasing. The boy doesn’t know it but the distress chirp he was releasing is one used by fledglings to call for their parents.

He was startled out of his cries when something large swooped down from one of the upper levels of the room. The boy hadn’t realized there had been someone else in the room the entire time. Tokoyami’s feathers ruffled and his wing flared in response when he realized it was Hawks. Hawks eyes widened at the blatant disrespect Fumikage was showing the older avian. Flaring one's wings is an act of dominance in avians and his chick is clearly not the one in charge here. He knows it's not the chicks fault he doesn’t know much about his avian instincts but Hawks will not tolerate the fledglings insolent behavior. He is going to make Tokoyami understand that he is the flock leader and that he must obey him as his fledgling. Hawks opened his much larger wings, flaring them wide and began to stalk towards the boy while releasing ear-piercing screeches and warning growls.

“W-wait wait Hawks please stop!” Tokoyami whimpered, the little wings on his back quivering. He didn’t know what he did to get the other man so angry but this is terrifying. He had never seen the other man act even remotely close to this, he was truly acting like an animal.

Hawks did not respond to the boy, advancing further into the nest. The boy was too small to escape the large nest, he could only try to crawl backward away from the angry avian. The boy released a terrified chirp when the man pounced on him screeching close to his face, the boy followed his base instincts, folding back his wings, bowing, and exposing his neck in submission, releasing more terrified chirps. The man loomed over the boy before sinking his fangs into the soft skin of the chick's neck. Hawks was asserting his dominance over Tokoyami and claiming the orphaned fledgling as his own. Tokoyami cooed softly as an foreign feeling overtook his mind and body. Suddenly it was like his mind couldn't register why he had been so afraid of Hawks anymore. His body wouldn't listen to him to get away from the man, his body and mind now think that Hawks is his father.

“Aw baby bird look at you~” Hawks cooed looking down at the boy in his lap, his claim had worked Fumi was docile and cooing back contently in his hold. Tokoyami was now imprinted onto him; the boy won’t be able to fight back even if he wanted to.

“Fumikage, look at me please.” Hawks asked gently cupping the distracted little chick’s cheek and guiding his eyes toward him.

“I'm your papa now. Things are going to be different now that I'm taking care of you. Your old parents, if you can even call them that, didn't love you the way I do. They didn’t treat you like the precious little boy you are so I'm taking over now. You know that this is for your own good right baby? Say yes papa if you understand.” Hawks asked, coaxing the boy out of his hatchling daze.

“Yes papa,” Tokoyami warbled out, his mind still hazy. He was sure whatever his papa was saying was true. Fathers always know what is best for their hatchlings.

“Can you turn around and lay on my lap baby? Papa wants to explain your new rules while preening those cute little wings of yours.” Hawks asked, chirping happily. His chick finally recognized him as his true father!

“Okay papa,” Tokoyami chirps, flipping onto his back obediently.

“Good boy,” The man trilled, he had been waiting far too long to preen his fledgling’s wings. He gently smoothed out the downy feathers, coating them evenly even in oil and picking out old broken feathers from past molts. The chick was reduced to a purring puddle on his lap, the poor never boy had anyone to help him with his wings.

“Now that I am taking care of you, you are going to have to listen to everything I say. Some things won’t make sense to you at first because you were never raised with other avians but you have to trust your papa okay. I know what's best for you and I would never hurt you, you just have to listen.” Keigo's cooed, fingers coaxing more oil out of the little gland at the base of Fumi’s wings rubbing it through the soft downy feathers, receiving more content purring from the boy in his lap.

“Okay papa… but what about Dark Shadow?” The boy asked through happy purrs. While his mind was easily replacing his distant parents, his heart would not forget his brother who cared for him more than anyone else has his entire life. Dark Shadow may be just a quirk but to Tokoyami he was his only real family for a long time. Which is pretty sad if you think about it.

“Dark Shadow will have to go away for a little bit because he is a danger to papa right now. In a couple of months once you get used to life with me then we can try to let him roam free but that won’t be for a long time.” Keigo tried to explain gently not trying to upset the chick but that clearly didn't work judging by the heartbreaking cries he was making.

“Shh shh you don’t have to cry baby, I promise you won’t be alone. You'll have your papa here with you at all times and then later once you've proven yourself trustworthy you’ll meet my mate and your new brother and be able to play all around the manor and attend school with your friends. Things will get better, it will just take some time to get used to, okay?” Keigo cooed, he was so excited to meet Shouto and have him and Fumi stay in his nest but that won’t be until later. His and his mates' nestlings both need a bit more training before that can happen. The boy just chirped in agreement, getting sleepy from the treatment his wings were receiving.

“Come on baby, let's take a nap.” The man whispered, laying back and curling around the boy enjoying the skin to skin contact and chirping contently. He finally has his chick safe and happy in his arms.

The next couple of months were bliss for Keigo, he had got what he had always wanted. His fledgling was finally under his control. At first it was hard for the boy to get adjusted to his mind running on instincts he’d never used before but he quickly got used to it with Keigo there to guide him. The boy was hesitant when it came to his new diet, eating raw meats was not something he had ever done before. He had refused to at first but after a stern nip from Keigo the chick accepted the raw food. Now the baby bird will even hunt down little birds in the garden for fun before eating them. The fledgling acted like they were attached by the hip wherever Keigo goes Tokoyami would follow, releasing quivering sullen chirps when he couldn’t. Keigo always had such a smug expression when he would watch the fledgling cry out for him. Just a couple of months ago, his boy wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. Now here he was absolutely crushed when Keigo had to leave, as all nestlings should be.

Tokoyami was ready, his chick has not tried to escape even once in the time he has been here. Keigo wants him to meet the rest of his family but first, he needs to have a serious conversation with his chosen mate. His hands trembled as his thumb hovered over the call button before finally pressing down. The phone rang a few times before his mate picked up.

“Hey pretty bird, what's up?” Dabi’s soothing voice rang out through the phone.

“Can you come up here for a bit? I need to talk to you alone.” Hawks uttered nervously.

“Yeah I’ll be there soon. Is everything alright?” Dabi asked, concerned with the other man's behavior.

“I’m fine, we just need to talk.” Hawks answered, ending the call abruptly. He knows Dabi loves him the way he is but still asking him to indulge in his more avian habits always makes him so nervous. The league has always been kind and never shown any disgust towards his more bird traits but he has never asked them to take part in any of them so he’s anxious about how Dabi will react.

The few minutes it took Dabi to come up to their floor felt like hours to Keigo. He wasn’t sure how his mate was going to react to what he wanted to do. The elevator ding rang out into the apartment as the door opened revealing his concerned looking mate.

“What wrong Kei? You sounded upset over the phone.” Dabi asked, he hoped the other man wasn’t trying to break up with him. Keigo belongs to him, they are solemates there is no leaving their relationship. They were made for each other, Dabi could never let his little bird go.

“It’s just that Tokoyami has been doing really well and I want you and Shouto to meet him today but…” Keigo's voice tapered off as he moved his eyes to look anywhere but Dabi.

“But what?” Dabi asked, tipping Kiego’s jaw upward and guiding his eyes toward him.

“You promise you won't get mad?” Keigo asked, golden eyes looking up at him through thick blond lashes.

“I could never be angry at my pretty bird,” Dabi said, soothing Keigo’s frazzled nerves.

“It's just I don’t know how to have a normal relationship. Red tailed hawks only have one mate for their entire lives and you are my chosen mate. And as my mate your kin become my kin as well. So I was wondering if when you guys come over to meet the fledgling can I put my claim on Shouto and can you put your claim on Fumikage? I want them to be mine just as much as they are yours but I don't know if you're okay with that.” He already thought of Shouto as his own but he wants to make it official.

“What kind of claim? How do I do it?” Dabi asked, relieved his little bird didn't want to leave him. He was quite pleased to know that his feelings were reciprocated just as strongly.

“Oh it's just some bird stuff. If I claim Shouto as my son in front of Fumikage then the chick will instantly understand that they are now brothers and nestmates but for Shouto it will just be a quick little bite. Then you just need to bite Fumi’s neck and the chick will imprint on you as a parent as well. I understand if you don't want to deal with all this bird stuff. It's okay really a lot of people don't really like this kind of thing- ” Keigo’s frantic ranting was cut off by Dabi cupping his jaw and kissing him, effectively shutting him up.

“Keigo, I would never dismiss any of this kind of stuff. I know how important it is to you. You said you're in it for life well so am I, I want all of you. You don’t ever have to be afraid of telling me something like this. I am never leaving you, I accept all of you always.” Dabi crooned looking deeply into the teary golden eyes of his mate. He wishes he could burn down the commission all over again for making Kiego think all his avian instincts were unsightly and disgusting, his poor bird still can't shake their harsh words to this day despite Dabi telling him the HPSC was wrong and he loves him the way he is.

“You really don’t mind?” Keigo asked, sniffling and wiping his teary eyes.

“I promise, I don't mind at all. I can get Shouto right now if you want. Shouto is so sweet he won't mind any of this at all once I explain it to him plus it would be good for him to have another father figure in his life. Lately he’s been staring longingly at Twice and Toga whenever they're around.” Dabi explained, his little brother clearly wants a father in his life and Dabi wished he could be that for Shouto but currently the boy only thinks of him as his big brother. Maybe once he and Keigo move in together and he sees how they interact both boys will come to see them as their fathers.

“You’re such a good mate.” Keigo swooned looking at Dabi through half lidded eyes. Keigo was irrevocably in love with this man who changed his entire world as soon as he entered it. He wishes he could find a way to repay Dabi in some way for all he has done for him. Well… he has some ideas but that will be saved until later after the kids are asleep.

“Glad you think so.” Dabi winked with a smirk, walking towards the elevator to retrieve his younger brother. As he rode the elevator down to his floor he thought about Shouto. He hopes he’ll be happy with this new arrangement, his brother has been missing the rest of their family so the addition of a new brother will be good for him. When the doors opened he strode towards Shou’s room opening the door only to find him napping contently while Bluey played quietly on the tv. The floor was scattered with toys, clearly he had been playing for a while before he fell asleep. Dabi didn't want to wake the sleeping cherub but he promised Kei he would be up there soon. Well maybe he can nap with the fledgling in their nest if he’s still tired. He’s sure Keigo would be happy to have both their chicks in the nest. He quietly approached the sleeping boy gently shaking him only receiving whines and grumbles in response.

“Firefly, it's time to wake up.” Dabi cooed down at his sleeping brother, shaking him a little harder when the boy would not respond.

“Nooo you said today was a lazy day. Leave me alone.” Shouto whined lifting up his blanket to cover his head. There was no school today and he wasn't planning on going anywhere, he just wanted to play in his room.

“Well plans change, come on firefly. I have someone very special to me that I want you to meet.” The man spoke quietly trying to rouse the grumpy child from his blanket den.

“But I already met everyone. Don't wanna go.” Shouto pouted from underneath his blankets.

“But Keigo will be sooo sad that you're not with me.” Touya cooed in a teasing tone.

“Were going to see Kei?” Shouto perked up rising out of his blanket den to meet his brother's eyes. It's not a secret that Keigo is one of Shouto’s most favorite people in the manor.

“Yes but I haven’t been completely honest with you. Do you remember how I described the relationship between everyone in the league?” Dabi asked most of what he had told Shouto had been true; he just left out the fact that he and Keigo were together…in a very un-platonic way…

“You said that you were all family. That Giri-san and Sako-san were the papas and everyone else were like siblings.” Shouto said in a very matter of fact tone. He didn’t know what his brother was talking about, Shouto did think Touya treated someone more special than anyone else in the league.

“Well that's mostly true except for Keigo and I aren't like siblings were a couple.” Dabi said hoping that's enough for his brother to understand. He really does not want to have the talk with Shouto today.

“A couple of what?” Shouto asked, confused.

“Okay you're a little confused and that's okay it's not your fault. What I meant was that when two people love each other very much they get into a relationship and love each other even more.” Dabi said, that's a pretty straightforward explanation even Shouto can understand right?

“So are we a couple?” Nevermind, Dabi groaned internally.

“NO! Ahem… Sorry I didn't mean to yell what I meant to say is no we are not. Couples are people who are not related to each other who get married and kiss and have kids together. Like in that show you like so much the mommy dog and the daddy dog were strangers at first then they fell in love got married and had babies. Do you get what I'm saying?” Dabi asked, he can’t get any more blunt than that Shouto is clearly still too innocent for that. God, how do you even begin to explain love to an emotionally stunted kid who has never even seen a healthy relationship in his entire life.

“Oh” Is all Shouto said, a shocked expression on his face suddenly over taken by a jealous one.

“Does this mean you're going to have a baby?” He doesn’t want a new baby to take his brother's attention away from him.

“Firefly, you are the baby.” Dabi said, amused by his little brother's jealous pout.

“Anyways I’m bringing this up because since we're together and you're my baby that makes you Keigo’s baby too. Keigo was wondering if you would like him to be your papa. He already sees you as his kid since you're mine and you'd have a new brother to play with.” Dabi explained. It's not like Shou has a choice, it's going to happen either way but he would like his little brother to think his opinion matters.

“A new papa?” Shouto whispered looking at his big brother with stars in his eyes. He has never had a papa before, only a cold and cruel father who did nothing but hurt him. And a new brother! Not that he doesn’t love the siblings he already has but they're all so much older than him, having a brother his own age sounds like so much fun! Who did Hawks take again?

“Okay, Let's go!” Shouto said excitedly, wiggling impatiently as his brother got him ready for the day. Dabi dressed Shouto in a cute soft set of pajamas with kittens on them, not bothering to dress him in real clothes because he's most likely just going to fall asleep as soon as Hawks is finished with him. He finished brushing the boy's hair and placed him on his hip heading towards the elevator. The farther up the elevator went the more subdued Shouto seemed to get. When the doors opened he hid his face in Dabi’s neck not looking towards the avian approaching them.

“Hi Shouto! Did Touya explain what's happening today?” Keigo cooed trying not to scare the new fledgling.

“Mm hmm” Shouto mumbled into Touya’s neck.

“And you're okay with it?” Keigo asked, watching with adoring eyes as the boy peeked out of Dabi’s neck to slyly nod in confirmation before hiding once again.

“Yeah,” Shouto answered shyly, still hiding.

“Wow, such a good boy. Dabi, follow me.” Hawks exclaimed in an exaggerated tone similar to one used when trying to sooth a young child. He led them toward Tokoyami’s bedroom, opening the door and motioning for Touya to place the boy in the nest with his other chick.

“Tokoyami?” Shouto asked, perplexed, he had forgotten Tokoyami had been one those that had been picked to be part of the family. He wouldn't call him a close friend or anything but they got along well during the period when they were in hiding.

“Todoroki? What are you doing here?” Fumikage asked bewildered, this is the first time he's seen anyone outside of Hawks in months.

“Well remember when I mentioned you meeting my mate once you were a bit more settled into life, well this is him and his child, your new brother” Hawks explained gently wanting the transition to go as smoothly as possible.

“Dabi, come here.” Keigo motionted for Touya to enter the large nest. He picked up Tokoyami and placed him in the other's lap. The boy shifted uncomfortably sitting in the other villain's lap sending distressed chirps towards Keigo.

“Fumikage behave.” Hawks said sternly, giving him a warning nip as the chick began to struggle in his mates arms. The chick settled down and allowed Dabi to tip his head to the side exposing his neck.

“You're going to need to bite pretty hard for him to get it since you don't have fangs.” Hawks said as he watched his lover sink his teeth into Fumi’s neck watching the chick's eyes glaze over.

“Look at him Kei” Dabi whispered, looking down at the boy chirping and nuzzling into his shirt, big hazy red eyes staring at him adoringly. Huh he could get used to having two adorable little birds in his life.

“Yeah he’s imprinted pretty hard, now it's Shouto's turn,” Keigo said, watching his mate and his fledgling fondly. Turning to advance towards the frightened looking boy. Tokoyami’s hazy eyes widened as he watched Hawks pounce onto Shouto pinning him down, the boy screamed towards his brother for help.

“W-wait what's happening?! Nii-chan help!” Shouto yelped whimpering when Keigo opened his mouth revealing a set of sharp fangs.

“Calm down firefly it's okay this is just a ritual avians do when welcoming new members into their family. You’re going to be okay, I promise.” Dabi cooed from the other side of the nest, watching his lover slowly sink his teeth into the soft flesh of his brother's neck.

Shouto whimpered as he felt sharp fangs painfully sink into his neck, squeezing his eyes shut as tight as possible feeling tears escape them. Then as suddenly as they were there the fangs were gone and there was something soft and wet lapping at the wound. The sensation made him giggle, it tickled. He opened his eyes when he felt himself being pulled off the floor of the nest and being nuzzled by two birds. As scary as that was he was glad he has a new papa and brother even though his papa is kind of scary.

Tokoyami felt that fuzzy feeling taking over his mind as he was claimed by Dabi and watched Keigo claim Todoroki as his fledgling and his mate as their father. Suddenly he could no longer see just a distant classmate, this boy was his nestmate and the other villain is also their parent. And his brother is in distress! Fumi quickly crawled out of Dabi’s lap and to the other boy's side nuzzling him and releasing soothing coos trying to make his little brother feel better. He calmed down a little once his brother started giggling from their father tending to his wound. He screeched as he pushed their papa out of the way and curled his body around his brother. Papa was the reason his brother had been in so much distress, he watched him with narrowed eyes releasing warning growls when he would get too close to his brother. While snuggling this close Fumikage could hear his brother tummy rumbling, he released demanding hungry cheeps toward their papas to get him food for his little brother.

“Alright alright I'm sorry. If I go get you the food will you forgive your big bad papa?” Keigo asked, raising his arms up in the air with an amused smile on his face. Well Fumikage definitely sees Shouto as his little brother now.

“What’s he saying?” Dabi asked not fluent in bird talk.

“He's angry I made Shouto upset and wants me to go get them a snack. Come on, let's go fix them up something for lunch.” Hawks explained laughing when he heard Dabi snort as he followed him to the kitchen. Fumikage is clearly attached to Shouto now; it's fine if they leave them alone to bond. He doubts Fumi is going to want to leave the nest with Shouto in there acting like a nestbound hatchling.

As they made lunch, Dabi making Shouto a quick grilled cheese with tomato soup while Keigo made Fumikage an assortment of raw meats,fruits,and nuts, they talked of their plans for moving in together. They originally had thought they would have to wait a little longer to officially move in together but seeing that the boys get along so well they could do it a lot sooner. When they were done preparing their food they walked to the chick’s room with the food in hand only to find the boys sleeping curled around each other like a pair of kittens. Hawks trilled excitedly seeing both his babies resting in the nest while Dabi shook his head fondly. Oh well they can nap for now, they'll put their food away for later. They tipped toed out of the room not wanting to wake the nestlings and settled down on the couch. Keigo resting in Touya’s lap, the pair couldn't help but think life couldn't get better than this . Heroes are over and their chicks are home safely in their nest, they can finally have the peaceful family life they've always wanted.

A couple months later

Life has been bliss for the little family. Dabi and Shouto have moved into Keigo’s floor leaving their old floor vacant for when the rest of their family is found. The chicks have since gotten closer to each other, practically attached by the hip. They go to school together, eat together, play together, sometimes they even find them sleeping together in each other's rooms. Though that is mostly because none of the other kids are ready to play yet. After the Izuku incident the others have really cracked down on their kids, not allowing them out unless they are 100% sure they are ready.

The pair are quite the handful, always getting into some sort of trouble together more often than not, resulting in time outs and sore bottoms. There was the time they wanted to test if Fumikage could actually use his wings to fly or if they were just superficial so they decided to try to jump off an eight story balcony, turns out they do work he just didn't know how to use them. Thank god Keigo was there in time to catch him. Or the time they were playing hide and seek with Twice and Toga and they decided to hide in a trash can and were loaded into the back of a garbage truck. They only got to them in time because they got an alert from their collars that they had left the manor, Kiego had flown out just in time to see them screaming as they were dropped into the truck, he then had to chase down the moving vehicle to retrieve his brats.

Hawks never knew having children was going to be this exhausting. Dabi being the more experienced of the two when it comes to children just said the boys were testing them and that all kids did it and they would calm down soon. While it was exhausting they were happy that the boys felt comfortable enough to act out with them. They know that neither boy ever had the opportunity to do so safely in the environments that they were raised in and they were glad the chicks felt safe enough to do it with them.

The only problem now was Dark Shadow. You see, recently Dabi decided that he would be taking off Shouto’s quirk canceller. The boy has been getting sick recently with no explanation. When they took him to the doctor the man explained it might have to do with his body temperature and what he has grown up being used to. Before Shouto had to wear the collar he rarely get sick because of the temperature his quirk made his body naturally, so with it gone his body isn’t used to not having the extreme temperatures of his quirk to kill of all the bad germs, without it his immune system is doing terribly trying to make up for the lack of quirk. So they took off the collar. They trusted the boy fully and wanted the best for his health. Though they did replace it with a tracking bracelet for safety.

Fumikage saw Shouto with his collar off and questioned why he couldn't have his off too. It broke their hearts when they saw one of their chicks crying that they don’t trust him. They tried to explain that it was a different situation since his quirk is sentient. It's not that they trust his brother more, it's just that they don’t trust Dark Shadow. This just led to more tantrums, Shouto joining in because he thinks it's unfair they weren’t being treated the same. After a week full of tantrums, crying, and several punishments they eventually agreed that they would try to release Dark Shadow to try to talk to him but neither boy could be present. They sedated Fumikage while Shouto was sent off to be watched by Magne. They unlocked the collar and out came the huge roaring shadow. Dabi unleashed a burst of bright blue flames to keep Dark Shadow at bay. The shadow decreased in size but stayed just as loud.

“What did you do to Fumi?!?!” Dark Shadow screamed, still trying to lash out despite his small form.

“We didn’t do anything to him, he’s happier now than he’s ever been” Keigo spoke truthfully.

“DON'T LIE TO ME! Just because you take away my ability to come out doesn't mean I'm not there. I can see and feel everything happening to Fumi. So I’ll repeat what I said before. What did you do to him? ” The shadow growled raging against the light keeping his form small.

“We didn’t do anything to him honestly.” Hawks said, raising both hands in the air in a placating manner.

“You're still lying! I can feel that you have done something to Fumi’s mind; he's running solely on some sort of chain of command he can’t fight against.” Dark Shadow growled, there is something very wrong with Fumi’s head he hasn’t acted like this since he was very small.

“Oh that, that's just our avian instincts you know bird to bird.” Keigo replied since he is the eldest avian that makes him top of the chain.

“NO I DON'T KNOW YOU FUC-” Dark Shadow screamed, cut off by another burst of flames. Contrary to popular belief he is a quirk that has nothing to do with birds at all. His user is shaped like a bird so he is shaped like a bird. He knows nothing about avian instincts, he isn’t even a bird himself. He is just a shadow with consciousness and the ability to fight.

“Okay, simmer down little shadow. We didn't let you out to have a screaming match. We came to negotiate. The fledgling has been wanting to see you for months and we are willing to allow you to have contact with him if you follow our rules.” Dabi said sternly.

“As if I would bow to the likes of you scum. I'd rather kill you all and take Fumi with me.” Dark Shadow spat venomously.

“You seem to forget who's in charge here, Dark Shadow. All it takes is one quirk erasing bullet and you're gone forever. We already have Fumi, we don’t need you, all this is for his sake. So you can either cooperate with us and help protect Fumikage or you can be erased. Though I suppose you can also remain dormant if you'd like but I’m sure Fumi will be devastated when we tell him you purposely chose not to see him. The choice is yours.” Hawks purred a teasing smirk on his face, he was bluffing obviously he loves the little shadow and doesn't ever want to get rid of him. He's a part of Fumikage and Kei loves all parts of Fumi, though this particular part is going to be incredibly difficult to manage given the massive amount of power it holds. He needs Dark Shadow to think he is disposable to them, that with the flick of a wrist they would erase him. He needs him to think if he ever steps a toe out of line he will be killed so he never dares to use that immense power against them.

“I want to see Fumikage. I don’t care what rules I have to follow to see him.” The shadow grumbled angrily looking to the side. He’s doing this to save Fumi, he would do anything for the boy even if it means he gets erased.

“Good boy Dark Shadow, we knew you would make the right choice.” Keigo smiled.

As much as he would like to rip these villains to shreds and steal Fumi away he has to stay calm. He’ll gain their trust and take Fumi away from here when they least expect it. For now he'll just have to lay low and behave until the opportunity arises. Don't worry Fumikage, I'll fix whatever they did to your mind and get you out of here I promise…

Start/Previous/Next

48 notes · View notes

lightofraye · 5 months ago

Text

Hi there!

Per your request, I cropped your name!

Now to your message.

First, aw, wow, thank you for such praise about my blog! I honestly do try. I know I have my bad moments, where I become bitchy, and sometimes I have moments where I am mean. However, there’s a large difference between being human and being a constant emotional abuser.

Ahem. I digress.

Your line about mushrooms made me think of The Dresden Files and a line out of it.

“As far as the Council is concerned, the U.S. Wardens are a bunch of mushrooms." "Eh?" "Kept in the dark and fed on bullshit.”

― Jim Butcher, Turn Coat

Regarding your description of parenthood… I love it! It’s so true. The first couple of years after my son was born, it was… not easy. I was exhausted, running on fumes, struggled to take care of myself while dealing with an energetic, needy toddler. Being a single parent was hard. Is hard, what am I saying.

I’m inclined to agree with you. From what I’ve seen and heard, Danneel barely spent any time with the twins. I think she’s a bit more bonded with JJ than the twins, but clearly not nearly enough, given the death glare she gave JJ during the NYCC when The Winchesters was announced. (And that got Danneel a dirty look from Jensen!)

As for being a wife… that’s on her, sadly. She doesn’t want Jensen home; she wants him out, at work, all the time. Even when he’d been gone 9 months out of a year for filming Supernatural, she’s not happy when he’s home. So when Supernatural ended and he suggested a vacation through Europe, she said “No. Get back to work.” Wow.

I agree with you. A friend, family, anyone I knew who went through a traumatic experience like that—if I had the money to fly out there, I would in a heartbeat. Even if they called me in the middle of the night, at work, it didn’t matter.

(Also agreed to your message here.)

Yeah, the bit about her twirling her hair was so dull and bland that I was cringing every time it came up! And she’s rapidly losing her beauty… oh wait. She’s completely lost it. Her face is so over-worked, over-filled, Botoxed, face-lifted, you name it—it’s so bad, it’s unrecognizable to the way she originally looked! Otherwise… the gymnastics claim has me suspicious because if she did study gymnastics she would’ve been able to excel at cheerleading! But she didn’t. She did so badly they stuck her in the back so no one would notice she didn’t know the damned moves. Singing? We’ve heard her sing. Horrific. So, the claims of knowing how to play piano? Doubtful. Act? We know she can’t. So….

No skills. No literacy. No intelligence. Just lies through her ass and knows how to torture her husband repeatedly. Not someone to stan at all.

I can’t even believe any claims made about her. Like… French cooking? Doubtful. Italian cooking? Supremely doubtful.

I absolutely love your analysis. Thank you for it! You’re right. She’s never had to struggle, work hard, to do everything she had to survive. She just leeched off everyone—including her own parents! It’s really tragic.

Sad thing is, she’s not even celebrating having a good man as a husband. She tortures him, belittles him, pushes him away. She just loves his money. The children are just benefits to keep that money coming in.

All she is is a gold digger.

I’d feel sorry for her if she was in fact suffering. She isn’t.

The closest I’d ever get to pity is the fact that she’s an empty-hearted person.

(Also, the bit about her voice made me laugh, hard. Thank you.)

#anti danneel #anti elta #jensen concern #jensen supportive #the importance of self-value

11 notes · View notes

witchthewriter · 1 year ago

Text

𝐍𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐙𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ platonic, gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse, talking about chronic pain

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

・You had cursed whatever maker there was that you weren't born a Healer.

・And even though other grisha had tried to help you, they all said the same thing: it was untreatable. Not like a broken bone that could be mended, or a scar that could disappear

・It was a pain that was caused in childhood and left untreated for too long. Damn abusive parents, you cursed almost daily, as you pushed through the pain as soon as you woke

・Nina had searched far and wide for treatment

・She had been your best friend since your first year at the Little Palace. You weren't even in the same order, but something about her was magnetic. And she always knew how to make you laugh.

・You tried to keep your chronic illness as hidden as possible. But some days were just too difficult to navigate. Your bones ached, your back was sometimes so sore that you couldn't leave the bed.

・Even the Darkling himself came to see you when you missed a few classes.

・He brought all the physicians that the King would allow. And they all said the same thing.

"Too much damage from childhood. If they were brought to a healer then, they would be healed. But now ... we can only give small things to help."

・When you found that out, you cried for three days and never left your rooms.

・The best tonic that was created lulls you a bit but somehow takes away a lot of the pain. Not all of it. But you can carry on like everyone else for a while. The problem is running out of it.

・You always wanted to be like the other grisha - able to perform your duties without retched pain coursing through your body

・The Darkling doesn't send you on missions, that hurt you so badly but he had you trained in other parts of war, like how to shoot, but more importantly the mind games.

・And then people started to notice that you were different

・It was the Darkling himself that said you were special and unique, and that anyone who said a bad word against you would be held accountable.

・Nina takes you on little adventures and no matter where you are, she always has the tonic on her, in case of emergencies

・Sometimes you need to rely on a cane, and you can't walk long distances easily, but Nina couldn't care less. It makes you feel useless, but she constantly tells you how much worth you have

"Even if you weren't grisha, you have so much talent, and light and power. There is no one else like you. Please, keep going. Take it day by day."

・Whenever you're apart, she'll send you letters so you have something to look forward to. And she always brings back gifts from her journeys. You treasure each and every one of them.

・Even though you have chronic pain, and it affects your abilities - it actually doesn't mean you're useless. Not at all. In fact, even Zoya respects you. You knew how bullies worked and had no problem standing up to them.

・Everyone in the Little Palace makes sure you're okay. Because grisha look out for grisha.

・You spent a lot of time with Bagra, who told you riddles and stories. Prompting you to seek answers for yourself.

・She helped you think.

・You became a very sought out person for advice and wisdom. Especially when the war broke out. You were one of the most important people besides The Darkling and Alina as somehow you knew both of their secrets.

・You were too good at mind games.

#witchthewriter #witch the writer's headcanons #nina zenik #headcanons #nina zenik headcanons #nina zenik x platonic reader #nina zenik x reader #shadow and bone headcanons #shadow and bone x y/n #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone series #shadow and bone #grisha #grishaverse

93 notes · View notes

deadgit · 9 months ago

Text

Okay, here's the post I promised based on @ocean--grey 's poll! So if anyone randomly finds this and is confused, the poll was a question about who makes Lister feel the worst about himself: Low Lister, Sebastian Doyle, or the brain-in-a-jar from "Out of Time." I went tag crazy in my reblog, and this is just what didn't fit 🤣

So, Lister was ganged up on and victimized by all of the Lows in a scene that has to have been one of the most disturbing things that ever happened to him. But one small, probably unintentional detail that I'm going to emphasize is this: all of the Lows were working together, and reasonably well. They all teamed up against him, a solid team, 4 against 1.

And so, I find it FASCINATING that this episode directly follows "Terrorform" and "Quarantine," two episodes that heavily emphasize the everyone vs Rimmer dynamic.

Social patterns can be brutal. At the end of the day, there's very little that makes people feel more together than disliking the same person, especially if they can feel justified about it. And Rimmer is extremely easy to dislike, justifiably.

But unlike Cat and Kryten, who have fairly simple relationships with Rimmer (they know they need him there, and he has a couple redeeming qualities, but they genuinely dislike him), Lister actually sees Rimmer as a human being, with feelings that matter. He wouldn't have chosen to have this guy play a huge role in his life, but he does care about him.

And, sometimes, he treats Rimmer terribly.

It's usually not just him. It's him, the Cat, and Kryten playing off of each other, having Rimmer be the odd-man-out. And he gives as good as he gets, so it probably feels fine, mostly. You can't say that Rimmer doesn't deserve to have his own terrible actions thrown into his face, now and then.

Rimmer was exhibiting some horrid behavior in "Quarantine." His treatment of the rest of the crew before the virus set in was vindictive and petty in really destructive ways. But it was also a direct reaction to his peers talking about shutting him down. (Notably, this was right after an episode where they all pretended to like him, then threw it back in his face.) He probably saw that as a genuine threat to his life, and responded to it the way he's been conditioned to, since he was a kid: weaponize rules, use every scrap of power you have, no one else will help you.

Lister has come to understand Rimmer pretty well by this point in the show. He understands that "the wrong parents" doesn't just mean that Rimmer is ambitious and vain; he knows the guy survived some genuine, serious abuse. (Notably, he's the only character who looked disturbed at Rimmer's Uncle Frank story. Even Rimmer didn't recognize how messed up that was.) Everyone has seen Rimmer at his worst, but Lister has seen him at some of his best, like in "Marooned" when he waxes poetic about friendship and sacrifice, and wants to mirror what he saw as an act of selflessness. Lister knows how badly Rimmer craves acceptance and respect, and knows that he's actually capable of being decent under the right circumstances.

But he doesn't exactly keep that knowledge at the front of his mind. Very understandable, when your bunkmate, say, locks everyone in a room for weeks without entertainment or decent food. And it's especially easy to forget about when you're with two other people who can't stand the guy.

But I think sometimes, when the others aren't there, he remembers that Rimmer is a very miserable, lonely person, who faces almost constant antagonism from everybody in his life. He brings it on himself, but I don't think Lister wants to be a person who enjoys teaming up with his buddies to pick on the group misfit.

And yet, in series 4 and 5 especially, he kinda IS that person.

And I can't help but wonder if his treatment at the hands of the Low crew (ganged up on, having his autonomy taken away, being bombarded with everything he hates about himself) wasn't, in part, a reflection of the way he feels about all that subconsciously.

#it's late so i hope this makes sense 😅#i think that series 10-promised land lister has finally found a good balance of ribbing the guy while watching out for him #which i love sooooooo much you have no idea #please don't read this as ''lister is mean to rimmer! bad lister poor rimmer!''#it's just musing about the cognitive dissonance of knowing that someone's behavior comes from deep hurt #but not being able to stop yourself from responding to it (particularly in a group dynamic)#which imo makes lister SUCH an interesting character

14 notes · View notes

lassieposting · 2 years ago

Text

Might be a bit sick but in retrospect, Skulduggery telling Omen he had “disagreements” with his father (or did he say this to Valkyrie? Don’t care not checking) is the most understated hilarious possible fucking way of describing “oh my dad fucking murdered my mother and turned half my siblings pure evil and we had to give him a kicking like the bomb gave hiroshima and chain him up in a magic coffin and jail him in an alternate dimension as an exchange prisoner with a tyrannical god-king because he was too powerful to even consider killing”

Like lmao. “Disagreements” give me a break

—

In his defence, this is one of the few times where Skug is actually incredibly diplomatic. There’s a few reasons for this:

1. The obvious one: Omen is a kid. More than that, Omen is a lame kid, whose entire life experience at that point is Being Fat, Being Lame, and Sitting In Maths Class. He would have no point of reference for how to react to something as viscerally horrifying as my father murdered my mother. That would be a wildly age-inappropriate story for Skug to tell him - so much so that even Skug knows it.

2. The other obvious one: all the Abrogate bullshit would be a very painful, very personal, very old wound for Skug. No way in hell would he want to open it for the benefit of this boy he barely knows. Yes, he’s prone to dropping inappropriate stories out of nowhere, but most of the time it’s because they’re either relevant to what’s happening around them, or he doesn’t realise they’re inappropriate, because he’s messed up, and his upbringing was messed up, and his concept of what’s normal is decidedly skewed as a result.

And 3. The one I think actually occurred to him at the time: Omen is a child with an abusive home and parents who have a hardcore golden child/scapegoat dynamic. Omen is a child who has spent his entire life being overshadowed by and negatively compared to whatshisface, the brother. And in this moment, Omen is a child who is - tentatively - reaching out to someone he sees as a Safe Adult. He’s testing the water to see how Skug reacts to a relatively minor disclosure, because he - Omen - isn’t sure whether he really is just disappointing and useless, or whether he’s justified in feeling neglected and badly treated.

Skug also came from an abusive home, was also the family scapegoat, and at some point probably dropped the same kind of hints to Ghastly’s parents. He would know how important it is that he react correctly, because it would be so easy at this point to make Omen feel like he can’t open up to anyone about his home life again.

And “Yeah, well, my father murdered my mother, we’ve all got problems,” would be a spectacular way to make sure he never brings up his family issues again. It would be overshadowing his pain, putting him in the same position he’s been pushed into by his parents all his life. It would be saying your suffering doesn’t matter because I had it worse.

And Skug is a lot of bad things, but he’s not deliberately cruel to people who don’t deserve it. He’s kind to Peg Muldoon, he’s kind to Scaramouche van Dreg, he’s kind to Scapegrace - all people who could have reasonably been handled with violence or cruelty. So he’s absolutely not going to choose nastiness with this boy.

He says: I liked my mother. I think I might have even loved my mother. I had disagreements with my father. In the same conversation, he tells Omen that parents should love their children, and that it’s not Omen’s fault that his don’t.

That’s. A very carefully-worded way of putting it. He’s chosen words that will seem, to Omen, to mimic his own situation. He’s saying I understand what you’re trying to tell me. He’s saying I see how they treat you and I don’t approve. He’s validating what Omen has been through as the scapegoat child, and telling him it’s not okay. He’s giving Omen an ally - an adult who sees the Darkly parents’ behaviour, isn’t okay with it, and isn’t afraid of them. Basically, he’s trying to give Omen the kind of support that Ghastly’s parents probably once gave him when he was in Omen’s position.

And for that, Omen doesn’t need to know how much worse Skug had it. He just needs to know that a) Skug survived it, and b) someone he has a lot of respect for has confirmed that the way his parents treat him is Not Okay. It’s really quite a startling amount of tact and empathy for someone who is so, so damaged, and this is probably the closest we get to seeing how he likely behaved with his own child.

(It is a hilarious understatement, though. Good job, buddy.)

#skulduggery pleasant #sp meta #skug

38 notes · View notes

flowersofstarlight · 1 year ago

Text

Hi @ericaportfolio

If you’re reading this, I wanted to let you know about my thoughts about Nick Nack’s past and thinking about him having PTSD. I’ve been thinking a lot about Nick’s childhood and going through trauma and abuse by his father in your AU. And it kinda got me to psychoanalyze him and theorize what he’s feeling, what he’s afraid of and that he might be going through depression after he and the Handeemen manage to escape from Francis and his mob.

I’m not a therapist or a psychiatrist or psychologist, but I have learned a little bit about how the brain works when people have experienced schizophrenia, PTSD, trauma, etc. from the videos of Therapists reacting to Arcane: League of Legends, talking about Vi’s trauma and Jinx/Powder’s PTSD and schizophrenia. Both Moxxie from Helluva Boss and Hunter from The Owl House were also abused by their parent/guaridan like Nick. It might make sense to mention them having similar situation as Nick did.

This is going to be sad what I’m about to say and long to read, but take the time you need to check it out later and if you have some free time. And let me know your thoughts about this in the comments or reblog. I am curious what you think and I think Nick needs a lot of hugs.

So, after Mortimer and the others escaped from Fracis, Nick probably would be at home blaming himself for getting the others dragged into that situation with Francis and his mob. Obviously he didn’t know that he would see his father again and didn’t know what to do. He thought he got away and never had to go back to the place he grew up in. I feel like Francis’ manipulation has pushed Nick’s sadness to guilt, making him think that it’s Nick’s fault for what happened to his mother and what was about to happen to Mortimer and the others, the way Scar did to his nephew Simba.

If Francis told him things, when he was a child and internalized those messages in his head, Nick would have a hard time challenging them as an adult. He might still carry that guilt and what Francis said to him. He probably would feel like a burden to everyone in their life. Feeling like he carried so much weight on them to stress out and felt like the one who put them in danger. He would even hate himself because he didn’t ask for anything bad to happen to the Handeemen that got dragged into that mess, he didn’t ask to be born, and never asked to be the son of the Mob Boss.

Francis’ words and manipulation would be stuck into Nick’s head, and Nick would be going through depression, fear and probably hallucinate hearing negative words around him and having nightmares and trouble falling asleep. His mother Jancis, was very kind and loving to him, like the light that guides him and there to comfort him. But since Francis took that away from him, he would felt helpless and be treated like a toy or moved around like a pawn on the chessboard.

Nick might be thinking that it’s his fault for his mother to disappear because he is her weakness. Although Jancis does love her son dearly and wanted to protect him, it isn’t true that Nick is the responsible for her disappearance because he was (I assumed when he was eight) just a kid and didn’t do anything wrong to her. It was Francis’ choices that made Jancis disappear. And that affects Nick really badly, causing him to have PTSD, and Francis hitting his own son (like an abusive father he is) makes him never forget those scars and would haunt him forever.

Of course, Nick ran away to start a new life where he can be himself and follow his dream and years later, he found others who truly cared about him and like him the way he is like Valentino, Mortimer and the others. But after meeting Francis, Nick probably felt he does not matter to anyone and is just a problem that dragged others to get hurt because of him. He is sick and tired of being the victim and wants to bury that pain or other negative emotions down in the ground forever, but it gets worse. It really doesn’t help if you keep suppressing your own emotions.

He probably would push everyone away, so that they won’t get hurt again. But he needed to realize that bad things are going to happen to everyone, including the good people. He has people who cared about him, but that scared him the most because he’s afraid that Mortimer and the others will disappear like his mother or be killed or worse and that he can’t do anything but watch it happen right in front of him, and he thinks it’ll be all his fault because he did nothing and let it happen.

Valentino may not understand what Nick is going through or what it feels like to be in his shoes, but they can sympathize that because they were mistreated by someone who treats them like they’re nothing, but a tool or pawn. Before Val opened their own boutique, they used to work with their boss who is a famous fashion designer operating in London.

Valentino was extremely happy that they got the job to work with their idol and create the dresses and suits to show their creations. But after a while working with their idol, Val told Nick that they were getting abused and under so much pressure by their boss. Valentino felt they needed to be perfect around her and keep pleasing her to do what she demanded because they are one of her best designers to create new clothes that are worth selling. She was very manipulative to them and would steal their ideas, and also insulting their appearance. And Val once said to themselves, “If I don’t complain, if I do my best, if I do every simple thing she asks of me, maybe one day she will throw me a bone. Maybe one day, I will gain her enough satisfaction that she will give me the respect and show her gratitude.” Which obviously is not good, and is unhealthy relationship to have with someone.

They worked with her for almost 3 years and it really made Val feel miserable and felt like they haven’t rested since forever. It even made them forget about their family and why they do it in the first place. However, their boss is not just awful to Valentino, she is awful to every fashion designer who works with her and would fire her least favorite designer if she didn’t like what they created.

But after Val met a friend who was very kind and gave them the wisdom they needed to hear, Val was happy that they worked up the courage to quit and say “I deserve better” and walk away from a toxic relationship. After they quit, they felt a lot happy like they haven’t been that happy for so long. Now they get to reconnect with their family and catch up for lost time, they find peace and went to therapy to talk about their emotions they felt working with their idol (well, used to be their idol). Val gives Nick advice to go to see therapy that their old friend could help.

Nick needed to realize it wasn’t his fault for putting the Handeemen in danger and his mother disappearing. He needs to see that he’s not alone and has people who are there to support and care about him. He also needed to be honest and show his vulnerability to himself and others to grow as a person. And have self-acceptance, opening up, and relinquishing his fears to build trust and honesty with others.

I think if Nick will give time to heal, he’ll finally start accepting the past and move on. And maybe he’ll be able to let go and find peace and he’ll be okay despite everything that happened.

It would be interesting to see his character development grow, seeing him standing up to his father, fighting back to protect his loved ones, seeing Riley and Nick working together to escape, and helping others to escape from Francis and his mobs. And maybe it would be cool to see Nick vs Francis if it’s possible. You know, like fight scenes. But knowing that Mortimer’s Handeemen is a kids show, I don’t think they’ll allow that. But if they do, the battles would probably be similar to Muppets as long as it is not dark, not too violent or inappropriate to watch for the kids.

Anyway, that is all I want to talk about. Again, feel free to reblog or comment what you think. And I hope you’re doing good and find it interesting what I talked about Nick having PTSD.

#nick nack hello puppets #hello puppets nick nack #nick nack #Valentino Voguish #hello puppets oc #hello puppets #hello puppets midnightshow #hello puppets midnight show #hello puppets: midnight show

10 notes · View notes