#has really taken a toll on me... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

brianskangs · 8 months ago

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I AM FINALLY DONE WITH THIS DEGREE AFTER A YEAR OF STRUGGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#literally gonna cry tears of joy because ma i made it!!!!!!#struggling between work work and school work and literally staying up till like 4-5am every weekend to complete assignments...#has really taken a toll on me...#like i literally woke up this morning and somehow sprained my ankle????????? LIKE WHAT????????#3 days right before my 28th bday and a week before my japan trip lmao.. talk about perfect timing...........#literally crying as i hobbled my way to the doctor just now because it hurts like a bitch to walk #ANYWAYS!!!!!!!! I HAVE MY FREEDOM BACK NOW AND IM SO EXCITED TO CATCH UP ON EVERYTHING THAT IVE MISSED SINCE COMEBACK STARTED SFKHDKSJ #(yes that includes listening to the album for the first time)#((and yes this means i have the time to make more gifs now))#personal

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eurekq · 3 months ago

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I get that people want an enemy in every situation but idk why it's so hard to just accept that people like jk rowling will see anything and find a way to make it about their vitriolic ideology. People cry after losing olympic challenges all the time. Carini in particular was crying because in losing she failed to keep a promise to her recently deceased father and also because she had been hit in the nose, which will make literally anyone on planet earth tear up (a totally legal hit afaik. just one that produces an unavoidable reaction). She admitted she had been wrong in not shaking khelifs hand and apologized. She said that if she were to see her again she would give her a hug. Like I don't know I feel like there are more productive targets to focus on. Yeah she acted shitty and unsportsmanlike in a single emotional moment; this was coopted and her words were mistranslated without her knowledge. Something can have bad consequences without it being a deliberately calculated evil mastermind move. In the meanwhile at the Olympics: did you know that the netherlands sent a man convicted of raping a 12 year old to compete? That's fucking insane to me but I guess it does make sense. They allowed Israel to compete after all

#eureka moment #this whole situation is a fucking travesty.#khelif has an instagram so if you have an account there maybe leave a supportive comment for her!#it seems like shes doing well in her current bouts despite the insane emotional toll this must have taken-#-and that shes got a huge section cheering for her which makes me really happy. she deserves it #sidenote the more i read about her the more amazing she gets #did you know she collected and sold scrap metal as a kid to pay for bus fare to take boxing lessons without her fathers knowledge?

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tj-crochets · 5 months ago

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Hey y'all! I didn't get many requests for particular pride flags or pride plushies this pride month, but I did get a few requests for an intersex pride something. The intersex pride flag (like a few other flags) is more difficult for me to make, because a symbol is harder to incorporate into an oddly-shaped plushie than just stripes, and the circle will have to be* appliqued by hand so I'd prefer to limit the number of circles. So far, I have three ideas: 1. one of my pride bees (a very round bee consisting of three stripes) that's yellow with a purple stripe in the middle. There wouldn't be a flat ring, but the stripe would kind of form a ring? 2. a yellow dog plushie with a purple ring around its eye like the dog from Little Rascals. Idk how well known that dog is anymore or if it would be recognizable, but it's a one-applique option? I could also include purple patches on the back that are not rings, like the dog's markings in the show (in the movie? to be honest, I just remember the ring around the dog's eye) 3. a blue ringed octopus but the rings are purple. I think this would be awesome but I don't want to applique that many rings by hand and haven't found a fabric with the rings at quite the right scale and density for this project, so this is probably a longer-term one but I do want to make it eventually Do y'all have opinions on any of these, or any other ideas? For intersex pride plushies or for other pride plushies, I've had some work and some family things come up this month that mean I have not gotten as much sewing done this month as I wanted to, and I do love making pride plushies and would love more suggestions *yes, there are a few other ways I could possibly do that, but functionally with the way I make things it'd be by hand

#the person behind the yarn #the air conditioner being mostly broken has really taken a toll on me physically #before anyone chimes in with advice on how to beat the heat: thanks! but I am not looking for advice #I grew up in one very hot climate and moved to one that's only very hot during the summer #I know how to stay cool I just have health issues that make me very very sensitive to heat #I'm on meds for them I have strategies for managing it but nothing I can do will make me anywhere near as heat tolerant #as someone without health issues #I mean I guess the good news is I will probably never get true heat exhaustion because my symptoms are so dramatic #at such a low threshold I'd definitely go inside long before that point #(by dramatic I mean my blood pressure gets low and my heartrate gets high and if I get too hot I could faint)#(not at like. actually doing any damage to me levels of heat. my body just really likes to drop my blood pressure and takes any excuse)

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parkersgnome · 10 days ago

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I am still Pro-Palestine🍉 I just took it out of my bio bc I really don’t want to think about all the conflict and war everytime I log on here.

I will continue to rb and signal boost the Palestinians in need of help however❤️💚🤍🖤

#Mima.txt #Mili.txt #I mean it when I say this has really taken a toll on me

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rexscanonwife · 2 years ago

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I’ve been a bit depressed lately and I wanted to draw something super soft and self indulgent and...went a little ham with the lighting ngl! but sometimes instead of getting up and going to some mission debriefing you just wanna stay in bed with your lover ♡

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dogearedheart · 4 months ago

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8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)

#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to #i don't want to make people uncomfortable #and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane #it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions #and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any #of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you #it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done #such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical #and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt #of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything #i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not #visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness #is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow #i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace #i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie #life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do #this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals #and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting #them that was never my intention. i promise #so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about #you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to #navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate #the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people #not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too #I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking #brain of mine.

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fawnforgold · 1 year ago

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so, this is really hard for me to post, but i think i'm going to not finish doing my past event i was doing, the one with all the angst prompts. I'm just a little burntout right now and all i do is stare at the word doc and stress. I am so sorry to all those who i didn't get to, i truly am, but i need to put my mental health/health first and i'm in no condition to push myself to finish something i'm just miserable doing. please understand my position and know this is very hard for me to do, because I was really hoping i could do more but i definitely am not in the right mindset/physical state to do so. I'm still writing just not right now, and i'm not finishing the event.

uhh yeah that's all and again i'm sincerely sorry friends. just need to take care of myself first <3

#z.cries #fighting a cyst and dealing with schizophrenia lately has really taken a toll on me #plus other things i dont wanna disclose #i feel awful doing this but i'm just miserable trying to finish them #if i write i want it to be for myself since i'm so low on energy yk?

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infizero · 10 months ago

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god. i miss loona so fucking bad.

#ive tried not to think about it too long because it genuinely makes me feel like. grief. but fuck dude #i miss them so bad i love all the new stuff they're doing and obviously they are in a way better place than they were trapped under #bbc. but just the experience of being an orbit while new releases came out. the music. THE MUSIC VIDEOS THE LORE I MISS IT SO MUCH #i really need to get around to just downloading the songs from somewhere and putting them on spotify under local files so i can #listen to them again ive meant to this whole time i just never got around to it #and im sure people have reuploads of the music videos somewhere where it wont give anything to bbc. cause fuck dude #rewatching loona mvs fills me with such giddiness over how much i love the loonaverse story #and they've influenced me so much they're some of my favorite pieces of short form storytelling everrr #and being unable to easily rewatch them for so long has taken its toll on me. ive gotta do it dude even if i know it will probably be #emotionally taxing for me 😭#anyways. goddddddddd #serena.txt

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themistyfootprints · 7 months ago

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My foster doggo moved to her new home on Wednesday, and I got my boys back home. This weekend has been spent cuddling the cats, doing yard work, and working out. I am slowly and, hopefully, steadily getting back to running after a month long break. It's going to take time to get back to where I was, but I'll just take it one day at a time. Maybe in a month or so I'll dare to dream about running adventures and goals again. I really hope so.

#personal #pauli #myphotos #the first runs back have been HARD #makes me appreciated the condition i was in a couple months ago #not to mention two years ago when my long runs were near half marathons #feels unreal #i hope ill get back to that #but life has really taken its toll on me since then so i won't be hard on myself

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byanyan · 7 months ago

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so anyway I was a fool last night and have thus spent the day nursing a hangover lmao...

#my mom & I did that thing we do sometimes where we get drunk and have really emotional talks without meaning to lmfajfksh #it has taken its toll on me today uggghhhhghghhh #I'm so uncomfortable and just completely out of it adjgksh #so writing? unlikely. unfortunately.#think I'm probs just gonna keep distracting myself from the discomfort with video games ahdgksh #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.#tbd.

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chickpea0 · 8 months ago

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vvvvent post

#I've been trying to keep my childish side with me for years #since i was a kid #because ive always valued that whimsy and imagination and kindness and openess #but lately it came to me that for years i mostlyI feel like my childhood is dead inside me #like its dead and i cant even step into memories anymore #and when i look back i realise i mostly never really felt like a real child. more like a person pretending to be a child #ive been forced to Get On With It since i was about 4 #so maybe all that endurance has taken its toll...#i feel like maybe it could be revived if i did something really nice like go to disney land or find a care #giver #or something #be babied by friends or find something that makes me happy #tbh #and this is a bit serious #i dont really have things that make me happy #ive been feeling extra alone lately its probably very obvious #sorry for being patheticccccccc and weirddddddddd #anyway.

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kendallroylesbian · 9 months ago

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im realizing i do a lot of self sabotaging, more than i realize. and that i keep myself from being happy. and idk why i feel like i dont deserve happiness or love like anyone else.

#thank u therapy! but also this has taken a really big toll on me lately #i see it in everything i do....and im like why do i treat myself this way?#why am i so unkind to myself? i care about others but how can i care for them long term #if i cant take care of myself?#ive focused so much on others and ive neglected myself bc someone/something told me i didnt matter.#its so much easier to focus on others instead of Me. u know?#txt 44

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lavellane · 2 years ago

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yall are killing me with the button content lately. i NEED us all collectively as a community to board the mind blind hype train again and stay on it 😔

#THREE YEARS of mind blind continuously being my number 1 brain worms has irreversibly taken its toll on my brain chemistry #the grip the wisemans and the plot and the rosymance have over me is. unprecendented i will never be normal ever again #i really cant speak highly enough of the patreon yall its so good #ANYWAY. keep the content coming it enriches my enclosure and i love love love seeing it on my dash 🥺

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friedricebunny · 1 year ago

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fanfic writer kdj is a idea that sometimes bounces around in my head but honestly i'd have no idea where i'd even go with that idea (also tbh i'm not confident enough in my understanding of kdj or anybody's characterization to want to write them)

#pj talks #the first joke that comes to mind is kdj writing yjh/reader fanfiction #the second is kdj writing yjh/lsa fanfiction #hsy roasts the writing quality of all of them #calx do not read #for the following tags #but like orv in of itself is kinda a fanfiction anyways /j #also ik i could just be like a good chunk of fanfic writers and go fuck it i'm writing that fic even tho i don't understand how to write #the characters that well #but also i am the same person who ended up analyzing and studying a dude from an obscure otome game in order to understand how to write him #(and then proceeded to become obsessed with him for a year)#(i say in past tense lmao)#(i still love haru i think the liar hyperfixation is just dying rn)#(and my lack of confidence in my understanding of his character really has taken a toll on me)#anyways i went way off track in the tags here #what was i saying #ah yes #kdj would be like that one person who wrote a shit ton of fanfic for their obscure anime polycule and reached like a thousand fics

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nikidanger · 1 year ago

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#working from home has really taken a toll on my muscle mass #I need to get a gym membership like yesterday #I’m hoping getting active again will both help me sleep better and give me more energy cos a woman is EXHAUSTED

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scarletspider2the2ndpower · 2 years ago

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Ben Reilly: Scarlet Spider (Vol. 1/2017), #1.

Writer: Peter David; Penciler: Mark Bagley; Inker: John Dell; Colorist: Jason Keith; Letterer: Joe Caramagna

#Marvel #Marvel comics #Marvel 616 #Ben Reilly: Scarlet Spider #Scarlet Spider #Ben Reilly #Cover Gallery #*heavy sigh*#warning personal opinions inbound #anything following this is firmly imo and should absolutely be taken with a grain of salt hahaha #for years I’ve been seeing comments along the lines of #‘???? I’m pretty sure Clone Conspiracy and onward Ben is that Spidercide 2.0 Warren was hinting at during the Superior Spider-Man Team-Up’#and I can’t stop thinking about that alsdhjsk #I get the explanation for why Ben is acting the way he is during this series (he died MANY times in quick succession and that takes a toll)#but…I guess understanding a story/character decision isn’t the same as liking it #I get WHY they’re trying to convince the audience that Ben has gone full edgelord but it still #(again entirely imo) kind of out of character for me #I guess what really sticks out in my mind is a line from a single infinity comic which stuck with me from my Spidey read-through #that even if Peter was lobotomized (or completely devoid of his memories as was the case) he would still do the right thing #mind you they also tied that to Peter having a clear sense of self which has consistently been Ben’s achilles’ heel #but I guess it’s that age-old gray area surrounding exactly /how/ much alike Ben and Peter are #I always tended to lean towards the idea that Ben’s his own person but made of the same die-by-his-ideals #morally upright material #which is where I guess my opinion on Ben and this series’ opinion diverge since it insists that Ben is corruptible #(the infinity comic is Amazing Spider-Man: Who Am I? by the way)#ALSO I always wondered why I /adore/ Scarlet Spider vol. 2 but this series doesn’t quite sit well with me #despite both series supposedly being about Spidey clones who are not good people yet are nominally heroes #and I guess it comes down to Scarlet Spider vol. 2’s theme of redemption #Kaine is TRYING to do better despite his ingrained cynicism and he does become more heroic!#this series feels akin to a downward spiral with a downer ending if I remember correctly and it’s just…not fun to watch for a fave characte

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