#has been my main coping mechanism since i was like 9

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

My interpretations of the Main 4 Postal Dudes 🚸✂️

I understand if there are some disagreements about my perspective, but this is just how I see them

UNDER THE CUT ⬇️

Postal 1 Dude

• Holy hell’s bells scrupulosity and schizophrenia do NOT mix

• The second nicest Postal Dude. Very quiet. The definition of a man who’s been pushed to the limit because mankind has been the greatest cancer to his soul. He does make an effort to be a good samaritan to others if he deems an opportunity worth it. But if you press his buttons, he can become pretty vicious.

• He was involved in the air force for the briefest amount of time during the Gulf-War. Despite being discharged, he’s still an avid weapons collector. He has attempted to use his veteran status to uncover government secrets in guarded areas (most are considered conspiracy theories).

• Dude is able to have conversations with The Demon. He can hear him when he’s awake and only sees him when he’s dreaming. It’s not always terrorizing. The Demon has a sense of humor.

• One of his few joys is setting up a fire in the outskirts of town. Nature has a grounding effect on him. He has made friends with the birds and a few ringtails. He wishes his societal expectations didn’t chain him from his dream of living in the middle of nowhere away from it all. His second favorite joy was ice cream sundaes with strawberry sauce, but lactose intolerance is a bitch.

Postal 2 Dude

• Easily the grumpiest of the Dude quartet. Not all the time though! Once he’s free from his failed marriage and awful time in Paradise, he can be somewhat content. The Postal Dude has titanium resilience. He doesn’t worry about the grand scheme of things. We only have one life. May as well enjoy it and make the most of the present.

• We all love his snappy one liners. They get much more venomous depending on how his day went. If he were to fall in love, he would use sharp banter before settling into the softness of vulnerability. It’s a coping mechanism, okay? Nobody’s ever been so nice to him without stealing his wallet.

• Favorite TV Shows/Movies include but are not limited to: Scarface, The Big Lebowski, Sin City, Dan Vs, Reno 911, Xavier: Renegade Angel, MTV’s Downtown and X-Files.

• Dude rescued Champ at a junkyard sometime around his teens. He was a puppy then, tugging at his jeans. Poor little guy was abandoned by his mom. “Surviving out here all by yourself too, huh? C’mere… I’ll take you home. You’re a real champ for sticking around.” Needless to say, Champ’s become his emotional support dog. He loves that dog so much that he throws him a birthday party every year.

• Despite being an anti-social sociopath, he actually doesn’t exalt that about himself. The Dude is humble about it. Just let him finish his errands peacefully. He does believe that the system we live in is corrupt and people are all inherently fucked up in some way. But don’t expect his “We live in a society” rant to be something valiant, no. His “We live in a society” is on par to George Constanza being denied his crab bisque at Soup Nazi’s kitchen.

Postal 3 Dude

• A confident, smoother Dude despite how much of grungy himbo he is. Lack of impulse control is on overdrive. Since starting a new life in Catharsis, he has eased his once tense shoulders into the great unknown. Dude is more in touch with his loner wolf instincts being left alone, making him somewhat more optimistic. Also draws more juvenile cartoons in his spare time

• He’s a bit clumsy when he isn’t setting fire to everything on purpose. Like if he leans against a wall and accidentally sets the fire alarm off. Or maybe throwing a box at a temp job before being told “Be careful! It’s fragile.” He has a pinch more drive than most Dudes. Still doesn’t earn the A for effort.

• Where P2 has a refined edge to his offensive personality, P3’s delivery always comes off as distasteful and on-par to a teenager learning how to make 9/11 jokes for the first time. Also SHUT UP ABOUT SARAH PALIN ALREADY-

• You hand this guy the aux cord and it is the most obnoxious playlist you’ve ever heard. Slut pop, annoying hits that get stuck in your head, outdated meme songs, douchebag rock, hillbilly bagpipes. And he isn’t fucking with you either. He’ll fold his arms behind his head with that stupid grin on his face and hum along.

• Finally having a computer all to himself, it lead to his first exposure to use the internet longer. Holy shit. This opened a whole new world of meme culture for him and his ADD to fixate on. And there’s free porn too?! Sign him the fuck up! Unfortunately, the Dude contracted terminal brain rot in the process (2010 variant). So, expect it to seep into his vocabulary.

Postal 4 Dude

• So laid back. Doesn’t really need crack anymore because he’s a huge kush stoner instead. He would be the very cool uncle in a found family way. His wisdom isn’t the best but he’s got the right spirit at least. So used to rolling with the punches that he isn’t able to get angry as often. It’s more like, “Huh. This may as well happen. Time to head home.”

• His jokes have mellowed out to be more on the crass side. That’s not to say he won’t throw in some dark one-liners though. They’re just not the same bite it used to be. “I always thought Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire was perfect for a commercial about hemorrhoids.”

• He actually got the bathrobe from a mall he temporarily worked in as a security guard. The job was the best 4 months of his life. Of all things, he got fired for urinating in the mall fountain. He left with a bird flipped in one hand and a smoothie in the other.

• 7/11 is his comfort store. There’s just something about the convenience stores that have brought him a slice of comfort in his endless trying times. Life is short. But the pathetic 2 for $4 hotdog rolls on forever.

• Dude has a vocal stim which is him meowing to the tune of whatever song is stuck in his head. It’s actually kinda cute.

[blightroach]

long post abt sylvia this time :)

sylvia is a little less concrete than quinn in terms of personality for the sole reason of being ur stand-in for the game. the different choices radically change sylvia's secondary personality (things that arent core beliefs and values) but i think they all still complement her main personality, which is "i love my friends and family" and "theres good in everyone, they deserve second chances" and "god damn i wish i had money to spend on treats and gifts for myself and my friends"

what i learned doing my low friendship dialogue choices run is that sylvia... is so much more extreme than everyone else, which is so strange bc everyone else is literally a heightened trope of some kind?? bear with me bc im writing this at ass o clock again and my memory is a plinko machine but the choices in the dialogue are basically opposite sides of the same coin. best example is a dialogue exchange between saffron (i THINK rank 4?? or 5 correct me on this): saffron makes a joke abt the shop probably not surviving a stiff breeze and the choices are "this will be the death of me" or "its a work on progress" and both of them read as "ive been working on this shop since i started" but the difference being "how do i want to express my current state of feeling about it." in my mind, both of these exist at the same time because lets be honest, any long term, effort intensive project WILL have both ups and downs. but the challenge also lies in YOU the player on how you feel abt it + how you feel what the NPC will agree more. notice how sylvia is NOT in the consideration !! bc sylvias already baked into the choices! she hates the shitty shop's current state but damn she can still be proud at how much work she put into it. both can exist at the same time! and both are right :)

essentially all dialogue choices are canon. to me. even the ones where sylvia seems ignorant (corsac spewjay encounter, roxanne thousand pyres) or rude (xid rank 9, muktuk great work reveal) because sometimes... u really are just ignorant and rude. it seems kind of against her core personality but ive made mistakes like that too. u can see how, despite making the "poor" choices, sylvia still ends up reconciling/recognizing her shortcomings and eventually amending her words to reaffirm that shes there for her friend! maybe she will make a remark that the other is completely against but she learns from it and immediately makes up for her with a bit more grace, tact and empathy. she genuinely loves her friends!!!

this also falls in w the friendship choices vs romance choices thing. this is a little bit more headcanon on my part but u will listen to me. i think sylvia's a massive flirt but only bc she uses it as a fallback/coping mechanism for her more... anxious+defeatist side. strange but i think that side of hers shines thru every now and again (her defeatist thoughts are definitely more apparent in early game but she definitely has WAYYY more anxiety than ppl may perceive). anyways i say this bc social interactions take a lot of finesse, even to extroverts who thrive on it, and coupled with her anxiety, i think sylvia finds it easy to wiggle into ppls good graces when u kinda get the other person a little flustered thru sincere compliments. like, it takes off an edge in the interaction bc sylvias able to set the tone of the conversation that way and makes it easier for her to relieve her anxiety abt, well, her own anxieties pushing thru the conversation.

i feel like shes always worried (not withstanding the stress mechanic lol shes a woman on the edge) but more like a generalized anxiety abt things. dont u have fallbacks when u get anxious? things u do so u can gain a bit of control over the situation? the flirting does that for sylvia! i think its her way of just keeping track of herself. (also why the rejections are like that too: shes not gonna hurt her friends by trailing them along like that so the rejections are always clear cut but at that point, sylvia's anxieties would be overridden by her perception of their close friendship. friendship is power u know. but yeah, that friendship reaffirming conversation after a rejection is sylvia's way of tamping out that anxiety and helping her wean out of flirting now as a crutch)

also flat out she should be bigger. labor intensive job means ur always hungry. guess who talks abt food whenever she gets money? yeah. she has the body of a construction worker, i know those arms are solid as fuck, i dont care what baptiste said abt her arms not being able to hold up his dense body. girl SYLVIA is dense in every meaning. my babygirl who has problems

[empresskaze]

buckle up there’s a lot /lh (no pressure to answer all!!)

for viktor (especially mage viktor!!):

3, 5, 8, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15

im hyperfixated and u write him rlly well

OK FUNNY STORY ANON! I decided to switch from mobile to desktop since it's always easier for me to answer meme asks using an actual keyboard. I went to log out of my normal main so I could log into this and instead fell down a Mage Viktor tag hole for like 10 solid minutes XD

Again massive spoilers to follow (this is gonna be fucking looooong I love it!)

3 What's your favorite canon moment with this character?

Answered here for Viktor but for MV specifically, I mean his entire reveal in epi 9 honestly, god I wish he had more screen time. But breaking down that scene alone, I didn't notice this until someone on social media pointed it out but right before MV looks a Jayce he almost turns away. He knows it's Jayce, he's known for god knows how long and he still almost decided not to fully look at him because I can't imagine how hard it must have been for him. And then...AND THEN, his eyes change from the colorless white of the arcane back to his gold when he sees Jayce (even tho it's not HIS Jayce). I am a sucker for microexpressions and how MV's eyes take in all of Jayce before he speaks and you even see him go to say something but pauses just for the briefest of moments because he's seeing Jayce again. He loves him so much. There's a beautiful line in He/re At The E/nd of Thi/ngs, where MV is preparing what he's gonna say to Jayce and when he finally sees him the line is something like "he does what he should have done from the start. He tells Jayce he loves him but he doesn't say I love you because that isn't enough" or something like that but you get the idea. MV has had so long to reflect on everything but he needs Jayce to succeed so his Jayce can finally be saved. He tells him he loves him in the only way Viktor ever could.

5 What's your favorite whump trope to use for this character and why?

For both V and MV it's colds. Im a simple person, Im a coldfucker to my core. I want to wreck both of them with an absolutely terrible one >8D

8 Describe your ideal whump scenario for this character.

I mean read any of my fics and I think you'll see what I like doing to him xD For MV just the idea of him being sick and having no one to take care of him so he has to suffer by himself. I'm not gonna go to into detail because I eventually plan on writing this for him.

10 What would devastate them the most, emotionally speaking?

For Viktor . For MV easy, everytime his plan to save everything failed. Can you imagine him FINALLY figuring out, okay if I start this plan, I can make up for everything Ive done! Jayce will stop me, Jayce will save me.....and then having to watch every single timeline he went to fail over and over again? I remember someone once saying how many times MV must have tried helping Jayce in the cave only to realize after so many failed attempts, that he couldn't. He couldn't do anything except fuck with Jayce's mind to keep him on task. How many time he probably watched Jayce not kill Herald V and join the commune instead. Or Jayce not surviving the fall at all???? People have stated MV is cold and distant but he HAD to be. He's stuck in the worlds worst Groundhog Day scenario. He had to show Jayce what will happen to his Viktor if he fails. But god that poor baby had to endure that all himself for....I don't even what to think how long he was alone.

12 How do they act when sick/injured? Is it obvious or do they hide it well?

For Viktor. I feel MV would totally lie to his Jayce about how he's feeling. On days where he's just exhausted from timeline jumping. As his body ages even if he's not totally human, it still feels aches and pains. But he tells his Jayce he's fine.

13 What are their coping mechanisms, good and bad?

I think any version of Viktor one of his bad coping mechanisms is just denial. Maybe not like full on but that, oh it's not that bad I can still work. Guy lives with chronic pain, he knows how to just be like yep bad pain day, oh well gotta push through. Viktor is a workaholic, working distracts him from everything so as long as he focused on that he can ignore everything else. For MV specifically I feel one of his major good(?) ones (maybe bad depending how you see it) was talking to his Jayce. Telling him stories, remembering their time together, hearing Jayce's voice in his head, cuz no matter how much time passed he never forgot that voice.

14 How is their mental health, generally speaking?

I'm only gonna answer this one for MV. BAD. I cannot imagine the denial he was going thru back when he was still MHV and maybe not quite ready to accept Jayce was.... whatever statue Jayce is (Again HatEoAT fic takes a fascinating look at this side of MHV). Denial slowly morphing into realization and then acceptance but that doesn't help because you're the person who brought on the end of the world but even more than that...your partner is gone. The only person who truly cared about you is a decaying husk hexcorized statue (good lord I might use that line in a fic). Yeah I can't believe is mental state was anywhere near good after everything went to shit.

15 Who do you like to see hurting them, if anyone?

LOL the only person who I like seeing hurt Viktor is himself (or me muahahha) For all the reasons listed above. He's the king of self hate for a good majority of the 2nd half of s1 and ALLLLL of s2 even if his H/MH versions are numb to it. I mean isn't that why he wanted to suppress his emotions to start with??? Baby needs a therapist that isn't a sentient toxic glowing purple orb.

THANK YOU ANON FOR LETTING ME GUSH ABOUT VIKTOR AND MV!!

[pine-notebook]

About Me

So, hey there. I'm Pine. I'm 13. I'm straight, if you haven't figured that out. Really overly romantic, but yeah. Straight. I am an artist and writer. Can't really call myself an author, because I really am crap at writing and my stories are unfinished. So, like everyone, I've been through some stuff. Light physical abuse, heavy emotional abuse, parents divorced, got involuntarily committed and went to a mental hospital last week, that sorta thing. Chaos is normal for me. Art, my girlfriend, my brothers, and my OCs are really my only coping mechanisms.

I'm a huge fan of The Owl House. To the point where, if I were to get a tattoo, it'd be an emperor's coven sigil on my wrist. So, of course, I want to learn to draw in the owl house style. I make a lot of fanart.

As I've said, I write stories. I'm one of three creators of The Linked Systems. Not sure Willow is really actively creating for it anymore, but he helped start it, so he counts. Willow's my younger brother, by the way. I've always explained TLS as being "a collection of universes." In truth, only two are really active anymore. I write for Konazel(basically furries but in the future and there's magic and shit), while my girlfriend writes for the Filesystem(A kingdom inside a computer basically. A lot of betrayal goes on there.) We help each other out with the writing, but recently we've mainly kept to our own stories.

By the way, my girlfriend is way better at writing than me. She's a year older than me, but you'd think she's a real published author by the way she writes.

I'm not really allowed to post on Tumblr much. The abuse I mentioned earlier? That was all my mom. My dad has basically stayed out of my life for the past 2 years. He's nice, but he's a drug addict, and I don't need that. So, as I was saying, my mom is a hell of a helicopter parent. She is paranoid and doesn't trust me at all. So I'm not allowed to go on the internet.

I go to an online school though, so I'm on a computer basically all day from 9 to 4, and sometimes a while after that if homework gets tough. It's easy to go behind her back and do things. Really easy.

Because I'm a dumbass and gave my mom my login credentials, my main account got confiscated. She changed the email and password, so I can't log in anymore. That's @ask-the-linked-systems, by the way. So, you can't really "Ask the Linked Systems" anymore.

So, now I have to use this. My side account.

I had to trade in a really good computer, by the way. It was touchscreen with a stylus, and the cheap, $30 drawing tablet I bought got taken away by my mom. The computer I have now is touchscreen, but without a stylus, so digital art is hard now. I probably can't scan my traditional art, since my mom stays in the house all day. I could take a picture of it with my computer, but I'd have to have my sketchbook in the room with me and my mom out of the room, and those two things don't happen very often.

My thing right now is I'm trying to build a fandom for TLS, so me and my gf can publish books when we turn adults. It'd be really nice to have a community like that to back me up.

Anyways, there's my introduction. Feel free to ask me any questions you'd otherwise be asking my ask tls account.

[piercetheheart]

developemental psychology

Exam number 1 was yesterday and...

First of all i obviously hadnt study for it and i just randomly answerd pretty much every question. I just picked answer "A" for the first four questions, "B" for the four next ones and so one. I left pretty early also and i went home and scrolled on my phone for hours (main coping mechanism :3) just to distract myself and not feel too bad about whatever happened. Im obviously not expecting to pass this class however i still feel a bit (alot) of shame.

I dont know how to put this in words but i feel like a dissapointment, however i do not know to who, it is not as if someone was expecting me to do anything. I just have a feeling on the inside about how things shouldn't have gone this way. I spent the whole day in bed on my phone scrolling and trying not to think about it. As much as i want to say that it doesnt feel that bad and that i can handle it pretty well im not sure about how true that will be. i juste catched myself being really irritable anytime my parents would ask me about how my exams are going and just dont want to talk to no one.

It is currently 9 PM and i couldnt do anything the whole day since i was in freez mode so i thought that i might update the situtation as i found out that exteriorizing my thoughts has a very therapeutic effect. And it does, in fact, work :3

Im still panicking a bit since i still have two exams coming (statistics and personality). I am not confident at all about statistic i will still try to give it a shot and study after this.

As a consequence of this whole situation i have been struggling with quite a bit of a depresed feeling the whole day but as im writing this i already do feel i little less dysfonctional.

i didnt think before writting this and i am only now realizing that i started the post with a "first of all" when there is no second or third thing to say. it is only one big chunk of unorganized and unstructured thoughts.

going to eat cereals and then study :33

[pastramimommy]

9/13/2024

Alrighty you can see how well im doing with my habits since im writing this halfway through the month lmao so here we are in september, balls deep into a doctoral program and I got the VA job but dont start till october. I have been absolutely BLESSED that I have a whole month of doing school without a job because I would be absolutely fucked adjusting to both at the same time. I basically started school already behind, trying to catch up and not really sure the best way to approach my classes. I was studying all day without any other real commitments and it freaked me tf out that I will soon be expected to do this while working 40 hours a week. but alas, I am officially back on top of things and need to find a system that works for me while I am in school.

I spent 2 weeks in LA so that threw me off my habit game a bit, but thats just an excuse bc I've still been doing a shitty job while at home. I will give myself some grace about attending church in person, and be satisfied with watching online since I am not committed to a community here yet. My morning routine I worked so hard to build is looking pretty pitiful right now LOL I am now trying to work myself back up to waking up at 5-5:30am but am struggling and need to get my ass in bed before 10. Meal prepping breakfast helped me get things moving faster, but I need to let myself take a moment for Bible app and set the days intentions before i jump into studying. I have been working out like mf beast and am in the greatest shape of my life, achieving new flexibility/strength goals, but i am getting so stagnant with pole, i need lessons again!!

Living at home has been truly interesting lol seeing my sisters as potential roommates has revealed a lot. and the constant proximity is testing maya and I's relationship but for the better, imo. there is a lot of unaddressed issues there so no better time than now to let it all out. I am not having a bad time living at home by any means, its just hard to get into a routine when a lot of my day is dependent on others' schedules. I am very excited for the future house, but i am a lot less excited for the move.

Now for the tea!! Dating is crazy bro. I've had some incredible dates and met some incredible people. Most of the people I would be remotely interested in live at least 30 minutes away so that has been tough. I've made some solid connections with people but I am fr trying to learn from my mistakes with Chris and not go 0 to 100 with anyone. And it's funny I really gotta hold back sometimes. The biggest struggle is still wanting to be out there and meeting new people when someone is set on me. And it really makes me feel like shit because that is the roles were reversed when I was with Chris. But I can confidently tell myself at the end of the day, I am not doing anything wrong because I am being transparent about where I stand. I am proud of myself for my intentionality with going about things ethically. I am here to meet all the people but not break any hearts!! It really freaks me out that I have to try to balance dating and school and work. Like I can't put it off because otherwise I start looking at 30 years old? nah. i crunched the numbers, I need to put in work asap because i won't be able to hang out with anyone frequently enough to start officially dating anyone at a regular pace. so here I will be, bulldozing through this new phase trying to do all the mf things at once. The main goal is being gentle with myself and holding onto my habits, routines and coping mechanisms i worked so hard to build.

[silvysartfulness]

What about

K, X, Y? 👀👀👀💞

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Oooh boy. All my ideas are angsty, anon. I'm not sure there is an objective scale of angst to line them all up on and pick a winner.

But aside from the angsty bits that did make it into the story, there have been a few alternative sad endings for Roadtrip I've entertained myself with, ones with one or all of the characters dying in horrible and/or angsty ways... Xue Yang sacrificing himself to save the others. Xue Yang forced to mercy-kill Xiao Xingchen and then himself. Xiao Xingchen actually being furious and betrayed enough after Yueyang to question his decision to ask for Xue Yang's life spared, forcing himself to ask Song Lan to finish it once and for all, and Song Lan's no longer straightforward feelings about that...

There are also some very angsty bits coming up in the story up ahead - we're very much not out of the angsty woods yet! 😃

I also have a ton of very angsty original verses and OCs. It's pretty much all angst all the time here, with a few all the more bright glimmers of hard-earned fluff for catharsis. ♥

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Any character I like, pretty much! I show my love for a character by absolutely putting them through the wringer. I tend to go for villains and antiheroes, though, I have very little interest in watching innocent uwu heroes suffer, that's just boring. I want the bastards to suffer, stretch them thin enough to see right through them to what's inside, find the breaking point, what lies on the other side. What they can become when they're painstakingly put together again. ♥

Current favourite chew toy is obviously Xue Yang, though Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan get dealt quite a lot of hurt by proxy.

Y: A character you want to protect.

Ironically, the Venn diagram of this category and the one above is usually a circle?

Like I said, I do enjoy making the bastards suffer, but I also have extreme empathy for them, and whatever made them the fucked up wrecks they are in the first place. While I do love their suffering, it has to be the right kind of suffering - hardships dealt with empathy, pain worked through for the sake of some sort of relief, or growth, or at least grief, when there is nothing left but sad endings.

I have very little interest or patience for blatant character hate, people making those tragic villains hurt mindlessly for the sake of some sort of malicious cosmic punishment, or shit-talking them while clearly 200% missing the entire point of their arcs and characterizations.

There is a lot of gentle love in the way I make my favourites hurt, and I will always be in their corner whenever someone comes at them with a shallow callous and condemning take.

Thank you so much for the questions! ♥

[atlasdoe]

Hello my name is Ace and I'm rewatching Lab Rats and cant stop thinking of an R rated version of the show so here's what I would do if I was in charge

Everyone will be lgbt

I meant have you seen how they dress?? Every episode at least someone is wearing two shirts there's not one cishet person in that family

Bree is a lesbian

Chase is non binary

Adam is aro/ace

Leo is unlabeled

Actual Relationships with people outside of the family

Bree would fall in love with a female Villain

They meet during a mission without knowing who each other is

They find out who each other is but try to make it work

until the villain betrays Bree entirely

strangers to lovers to enemies excellence

Bree will have trust issues after this

Bree will in the end get with Skylar (more on her later)

LEO AND JANELLE WILL ACTUALLY GET SOME DEVELOPMENT

yknow and actual interactions beyond Leo causing chaos and Janelle rethinking her life decisions

Marcus

way more of Marcus

the first seasons main villain will be Marcus and Douglas

Marcus will be introduced way earlier on

His hatred for Leo won't be as obvious in the beginning

He'll try to tolerate him but as time goes on he gets frustrated and become more aggressive before eventually telling Leo he's bionic

We're keeping his evil eyebrows they're iconic and hilarious

Bionic Showdown will be the season finale

Mighty Med

Mighty Med will be introduced in like season three or something

One of the lab rats will get injured and taken to the hospital where they'd meet Kaz Olivier and Skylar

Idek how i feel about making superheroes cannon in this world i just want Kaz Oliver and Skylar there

And Skylar and Bree have so much potential since Skylar is someone without powers who wants them (back) and Bree is someone with powers who doesn't want them

Mighty Med will become a recurring location

Bree

I love the storylines of Bree wanting to just be a normal girl but i wish they were more consistent with it

Like she'll be blowing off missions one episode but then be telling Adam they have to train the next only to go back to not caring in another

She'll start off loving her Hannah Montana double life

But as time goes on it starts to become irritating

When she destroys her chip it'll be a lot longer until she gets it back

Similar to how it went in the show with her absent putting her brothers in danger being what made her want to rejoin the team

but it takes a while to get there. Also a lot more arguing between her Chase and Adam because of it

Cause although i get where she was coming from she did abandon the team

Adam

Adam clearly uses comedy as a coping mechanism

Which is fine and all but upon my rewatch I've noticed that during really serious scenes he hardly ever talks unless it's for a joke

idk like Leo was a funny character also but he was serious when he needed to be

I just wish Adam was the same especially when him and his siblings are about to be killed

because whenever Adam does have a line that isn't a joke it seems so out of place

Also i'd focus a bit more on Adams insecurities a little bit

This is me self projecting as an eldest sibling who has a very intelligent younger sibling

I'm telling you it's not fun when you're the dumbest in your family and everyone knows and reminds you of it

They touch on it on a few episodes but it's completely forgotten about

Chase

They'll be less fucking naive

For the most intelligent guy ever THEY GET SCREWED OVER BY HALF OF THE PEOPLE THEY BEFRIEND

Also the family will be nicer to them

and as time goes on their ego will deflate

Maybe in fear of ending up like Donald???

Leo

early seasons Leo is a gem and deserves the world

similar to Chase the family will start to actually appreciate Leo

I'm just imagining an episode where Adam Bree and Chase realise that Leo has also been through shit and that he's not their funny carless little brother anymore

Other random things

It'll be mentioned that there's only a few months between Adam and Brees age but since they're bionic it's less then 9 months so they tell the school they're twins

More interactions with Douglas Adam and Bree

Terry Cherry Perry is perfect and will remain the exact same

Adam Bree and Chase will actually be taken away during You Posted What?

Because I'm a sucker for a reunion scene

Also how they'd be treated after that episode will actually change

I was originally on board with them during the first seasons being the cool rich kids but once they get exposed they're known as freaks

But then I remembered that for the first 15 of their lives they didn't interact with anyone

And then I remembered that they once literally held a concert in school and all of the other shit they did such as Bree literally being principle for an episode and figured that then being popular doesn't actually seem that odd

Maybe something like the school just pretending that they like the Davenports just because they're rich and everyone just bails once their secrets out

But like seriously their popularity status changes more then their clothes

There will be no island

Or if there is it won't be the focus of an entire season

The lab rats will actually get injured during missions beyond just being unconscious for an episode

It'll be mentioned that originally Adam Bree and Chase were known as "Subject A B and C" until given actual names (idk if this is cannon or just a theory)

TRUMA WILL BE ADDRESSED

Spike will be used during a mission

They'll be flashbacks of the trios life growing up in the lab

MORE TASHA AND THE KIDS!!!!!

MORE GRAMAR ROSE!!!!!!

Eddy will swear

More domestic family moments

More family moments overall

This feels like an unpopular opinion but I genuinely think that the show got sibling relationships right

Like they tease and bicker and argue but they still obviously care for each other and when it matters show it

I wanna say Donald being a good father but then I realised that a good father wouldn't send his teenage kids in dangerous missions and without that there's little to no show so.... let's say that he at least tries

Also at some point one of the trio will call Donald "Dad" and he'll cry

that's all i've got for now if you hate it pls don't yell at me. I'm only on season two tho so I may continue to annoy if I come up with more

[alectology-archive]

ohh im sure youve maybe already discussed this but if you're up for it id LOVE to hear your full take on Min. personally i like her okay, but I've never understood the massive favouritism of her on reddit, and it really annoyed me that so much time is spent on her and rand, and so little on elayne/avi/rand, tho obviously elayne and aviendha.. have their own storylines which min. doesnt really

There’s definitely a Type of crowd on reddit which makes her a very popular character there - characters like Egwene and Elayne who’re complex, willing to set themselves against their respective partners, realistically flawed & ambitious aren’t quite as popular for the same reasons.

As for Min herself... well. In general, my feelings about her have progressively gone from 'deeply disinterested in her’ to ‘deep dislike’ over time and it’s such a shame because I’m very fascinated by whatever is up with her ability. It lowkey reads like a very, very minor way of manipulating the Pattern and I've previously kind of compared it to whatever the Finn do & the Seanchan's own omen-reading practices (although I do need to admit that RJ has stated that what the Finn do is very different from Min's powers). If I weren't so irritated by how she ends up getting credit for a fashion trend in Cairhien when 1. She didn't actually start the trend 2. She didn’t like dressing the way she did and only did it because she thought Rand liked it 3. And If Dobraine had actually been praising her for talents other than dolling herself up for Rand, I would actually obsess over the fact that she got called Lady ta'veren because the text lowkey allows for that interpretation in a way. But I digress.

To get back on topic, the main issues I take with her characterisation are:

1. Her contributions to Rand's trauma, even if they're unintentional are massive - these include dumai's wells, Semirhage & Cadusane (I include her since she spends a lot of time bullying Rand or just being a Problem in general. She's not a good mentor figure.)

2. She receives undeserved praise all the time for supporting Rand during his downspiral when she does nothing but exist in the background. She’s acknowledged as Rand's emotional support gf in the fandom pretty widely but this is pretty much nonsense because she doesn't do anything to actually help him with his mental health. 

3. She encourages Rand to resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms (resorting to sex during moments of emotional distress) while discouraging him from nurturing healthy coping mechanisms (she also gets really bothered when she isn’t the centre of attention in private)

4. It also definitely gets on my nerves how Min is constantly complaining about having to share Rand with two other women & always reminds the readers that Rand is involved in a polygamous relationship - Avi, Elayne and Rand easily read like they’re involved in a polyamorous relationship without her tbh. 

5. Her arc of embracing femininity & constructing her personality around an idea she has of the kind of women Rand prefers (even if Rand liked her perfectly well before she started changing herself for him and never asked her to change herself for him) is one of the worst things to come out of the books. Sometimes her pants are so tight and her heels are so high that she can't walk properly. It’s kind of funny how she’s constantly complaining and blaming him for problems he isn't to blame for because she hates that she's supposed to love him according to prophecy.

6. Min is used to replace more healthy relationships like the ones Rand has with the Maidens & his friends from home which also really grates on my nerves since the books where they take centre stage are my favourite ones

7. She encourages and excuses Rand's bad behaviour a bunch (which Avi and Elayne would never have done). I got this vibe especially during TGS.

8. She blabs about Rand's trauma to practically everybody - including people who're looking to take advantage of him/manipulate him.

9. Min also threatens Rand with physical abuse when he's going through rough patches (this includes using her knives on him? The narrative plays this off as a fun, kinky thing when it really isn't)

10. Also because I’m petty I specifically hate her for that scene from TGH where she gets mad at Egwene for ‘tossing Rand aside’ when she wasn’t romantically interested in him anymore (like ???) She seems to feel that platonic relationships don’t matter as much as romantic ones do & pretty much behaves like it during the rest of the series lol.

RJ is to blame for a bunch of this, obviously, but Min doesn't have enough of a personality outside of Rand for me to really find it in myself to redeem her in my head, tbh.

I will admit that the entire point of providing Rand with an emotional support gf when he's supposed to be in a mental health downspiral was a pretty ridiculous choice on RJ’s part. I suppose Min as a character was set up to fail all along - she can't provide Rand any actual help because that would mean helping Rand out of his downspiral, you know? It gives the same vibes as the pointless plotpoint where Cadsuane is assigned as Rand's therapist when her method of accomplishing tasks involves bullying, abusing and harassing people until they’re sufficiently cowed.

[fortpeat]

So I wanna do my own little Prapaisky confession.

I have been with my partner for 5 years but we've only just moved in together 6 months ago. When we began to see each other everyday they became distant and less affectionate. When we would only see each other once a week they would be super sweet and affectionate but it changed once they saw me everyday. I didn't really notice at first because I get distracted easily and when I did notice I would think I'm just overreacting. But then.... Lita episode 10 came out (I got into Lita at ep 9)

My main coping mechanism is escapism so you bet when I watched episode 10 it was like my final push to realize that I wasn't happy in this weird place my relationship was in. I have rewatched that episode 20 times by now and now whenever I feel neglected I watch it. It encouraged to sit my partner down and show them this episode because this episode reminded me how I want to be treated (I relate to Sky a lot because I also went through my own trauma). I am a super affectionate person. It is my main love language and I love cuddles and kisses so much.

I just want to be taken care of like everyone else and now I often daydream of Prapai taking care of me. It's because of episode 10 Lita became my newest ADHD hyperfixation but it was supremely intense. Like I haven't had a hyperfixation this intense since high school.

It's really funny because I am so attracted to Prapai it's insane but with Fort I just wanna hug him and squeeze his cheeks and wrap him up in a blanket and watch movies. I wanna marry Prapai but I just wanna be friends with Fort sooooo bad because BABEY

Hey nonnie ❤️

First, Thank you for sharing your story. Really appreciate it. Sending you hugs (if that's okay) 🫂🫂

I am glad that Lita helped you in realising that you are worthy of all the love and affection and I understand sometimes we can be stuck in the limbo of the same routine happening day in and day out that we don't realize how much everything has changed and that we need an outside force to help us in opening our eyes. I hope your partner and you are in a good place at the moment and are working towards a relationship as beautiful as Prapaisky. We all deserve that. ❤️

And yes I get you about the fixation on episode 10. For me that is EP11 I have lost count of the amount of times I have watched it. Coz I can be so like Sky when I am buried deep in work I tend to loose focus on everything around me and to see Prapai take care of Sky by giving him food and putting him to bed and tucking him in - telling you I have never craved for anything more than that level of intimacy.

And Oh yeaaa I totally get you about the Prapai and Fort difference. But for me like I want Prapai marry me 24/7 but with Fort that feelings change depends on each day like for eg: if Fort is wearing Sweaters and hoodies i want to hug him and wrap him in a blanket and protect him but if he's wearing like suit or coughs*leatherjacket*coughs I want him to be my baby daddy hfkwjfkekhfmejr Jk NOT REALLY. 😂😂😂

[pjsks]

Genshiken (Eps. 1, 2, 3, 9) Blog Post

My general opinion on Genshiken is mixed, probably like most others. I personally have witnessed people that have qualities similar to those of the characters in Genshiken as a cosplayer who attends conventions pretty regularly, as well as someone who has been active in many online anime/video game/other related fandoms since middle school (bad, bad idea, I know, I wish I could have told myself that ten years ago). Some guys are absolutely depraved when it comes to their waifus. The obsession can get pretty crazy.

At the same time, though, I can kind of understand the comfort of hyperfixating on something fictional. It’s kind of like a coping mechanism for loneliness, and “otaku” are depicted as weird loners. I’m really giving this the benefit of the doubt because it was aired almost 20 years ago at this point. The show literally openly discusses hentai. I think that beyond the whole ick I get from seeing what type of stuff these characters actually prefer to consume, I can understand how it builds a community—which is essentially the “fandom.” And with that fandom, like how the conjunctive reading discusses, comes the addition of economy. “Otaku” are the target customers that conventions, vendors, artists, etc. can profit off of.

Like think about this… why do we buy anime merch? Why does it hold that much significance? I could literally be holding a keychain from an anime I’ve never seen or will never care about and feel absolutely nothing, but a keychain featuring a character I know and love sparks joy and will make me want to buy it. Fandom runs the convention economy, and it also could be an artists’ main source of income. It’s really interesting to think about, especially how it’s highlighted in episode 3.

[art-of-mathematics]

Yesterday I had an ADHD assessment- yes, on a saturday.

The psychotherapist was very intelligent and empathetic, I can tell. And I showed her the list of all the torture of paradox working meds i had to go through in the recent 8 years, the list of hospital stays, which most of them were traumatic..

As she said she had never seen something like me before. During the talk I spammed her with all sort of recursive thought loopholes and whatever.. I showed her the IQ test from 2014 I had to take - extremely heterogeneous, very poor working memory, and slow cognitive tempo, but logical and verbal reasoning was merely high.

Back then, the guy who tested me was gifted himself and thought my WM and cognitive speed were only so bad due to the neuroleptics... I wish it were true... but the neuroleptics fucked my brain additionally, dopamine antagonists were torture, it is documented...

But, she literally said: There are no diagnostic tools currently available to test anything about me - she had known many people with adhd and giftedness. But, somehow she was impressed by the polymathy of all different sorts of human disciplines, which I all embody in myself.

She said it is obvious but not verifyable by current standards. She aggreed that I am a statistical anomaly, and told me I can only get real help by finding a place in my field(s) of focus/interest and that working on my theses might be the only way to really help me outta that situation. Yet, she also saw the difficulty, as I need proper focus and the accompanied mental stability for that.

But she said, with my history, my excellent mechanisms to function (and literally optimizing of my perception and thinking) and especially with all that went wrong in my medical history - that I can only escape that trap of no-help by stating it's all wrong by proofing my work is true - and also finding my place in the acadmic world.

My mom who was with me was in tears, as, once again, we were left without help - yet, and I am thankful for her honest feedback and her strong (helpful and supportive) opinion about my case,... that is the harsh truth of the current stand of research.

But the occurances that have led me in that awful situation can also help in leading me out of it.

For instance:

I know that many of my mechanisms to cope are highly effective and can even help me release the dopamine in my brain by itself - using certain creative learning methods I am using as kind of biofeedback and literal reward system, for instance.

The results and accompanied theoretical analysis of my mechanisms to function in turn can help improving/optimizing these methods. (Making the feedback a feedback itself.)

It is odd, because since I was a kid I KNEW that once I understand how my perception and memory, cognition work, my "depression" will improve. Since my depressive symptoms came out to be a side-effect of untreated and decompensated ADHD, and overall poorly adjusted/ very turbulent parameters in the algorithmics of my perception and memory processing, and that I could finally understand very much of the underlying mathematical patterns in these non-linear causal nets, I could finally start to optimize it - in concrete.

Since few weeks it becomes clear, and I could start to apply all my methods - and especially, optimize them to become more efficient and functional.

It has been almost three weeks since I could leave the last trauma place. And somehow, my mind can unravel its full potential now. In the last 9 months I started to free myself from the claws of my main abuser and from medical trauma. And especially: I have done that all by myself.

That the psychotherapist with whom we had the appointment of the ADHD assessment yesterday - Despite no concrete ourtcome - her opinion was worth more than anything to me - as she understood the dilemma, she understood me - and she knows that all the things that were said before about me - were sadly not true.

I never intended to be a statistical anomaly. Yet, my psychotherapist in my home town said he has never seen something like me before, just as the psychotherapist from yesterday, and I know like many psychiatrists I encounter tell me the same. Sadly all that was stamped as exaggerated, turns out to be true... as i unravel my spirit now, and can finally start to live as who I am...

This life is the most interesting twist I never saw coming...

I often ironically said my unconventional intelligence cannot be tested. She literally said it. But it's not because it might be incredibly over-the-top... but too unconventional...

As when my thoughts and thinking are observed they change. It is literally that way. As when I myself detect my own thoughts I also alter them. It's due to the chaotic processes in my non-linear perception.. Like my mind is normally in a quantum-mechanically entangled state...

And that is exactly what I concretely research and study in my interdisciplinary research - and to validate my statements, and alter falsified statements - segmentation of concepts - translation of concepts into a "language" of information complexes - turning them into a mathematical formulation and inserting them into my recursive algorithm, one of which primary elements is Bayesian Inference....

It is all like real mind-fuck. But it is impressive how all these complex pieces fit together, despite their highly dynamical nature...

I guess, chaos is really the most efficient form of order, as it is a literal process of self-organization and re-ordering.

[devinescribe]

Masterlist

Never thought I'd actually make one of these, but... ahhh-

Request Rules/Regulations?

I don't know, but check them out before you request something just in case

Warning!

Along with writing fluff, I write a lot of Dark content. While my main goal is to make people happy and comforted when they read my stuff, my oneshots/books?/scenarios and such contain mature content and subjects that range from various topics. Of these topics include:

Rape

Suicide

Drug usage

Drinking

Sex

Age regression

Unhealthy coping mechanisms

Mental/physical/emotional abuse

And all things under those umbrellas. My writing is not for everyone, and that is ok. Specific Warnings are at the start of every chapter/post.

Please enjoy if none of that bothers you

Niragi

Long Stories:

100 Promises

Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3, Ch.4, Ch.5, Ch.6, Ch.7, Ch.8, Ch.9, Ch.10, Ch.11, Ch.12, Ch. 13, Ch. 14, Ch. 15, Ch. 16, Ch. 17 , Ch. 18 , Ch.19 , Ch. 20 , Ch. 21 , Ch. 22 , Ch. 23 , Ch. 24 , Ch. 25

Childhood best friends never seem to break apart, especially when they've trauma bonded. Even if one has been presumed dead. Maybe finding him elsewhere wasn't the answer she wanted

Genre: angst/fluff

One-Shots/Headcanons

Innocence

Summary: Arisu and Usagi meet a girl in game who seems a bit to innocent to be her age. When they take her back to the Beach, it seems her childish attitude calls to the attention of Niragi. (I'm bad at writing summaries, it's fine)

Genre: hurt comfort/fluff

Guys My Age

Summary: You are so done with boys. All they do is disappoint you. Guys your age just weren't your thing. So you tried something new.

Genre: is it smut? Not really? Is it fluff? Not at all.

Feigning Idiocy

You were always self sufficient, knowing how to defend yourself and all. You were doing pretty well in the borderlands, until you got too close to a hotel.

Genre: fluff, kind of enemies to lovers?

Deja Vu (this one is more Niragi than Arisu, but it's both in a way?)

Summary: break ups are hard. Especially having to watch your ex be happier than you. Your best friend suggests ways to get over it, but you might regret it when you wake up

Genre: Kind of angst, fluff mostly.

A Little Bit More (this was actually the first one I wrote and it's so baddd-)

Summary: Lovers till the end. Nothing is better than dying with your best friend.

Genre: angst, mostly

Ludus

Summary: When the seven words for love each have a cupid, Niragi gets you, the cupid of Ludus to help him out.

Genre: fluff

Pre-Borderlands

Hispanic Y/N

Confident Y/N

Make A Wish

Summary: When you're grandmother passes away, you inherit her old house, as well as the lamp you've admired since your childhood.

Genre: fluff!

Burnt Out

Summary: It was tiring for you and Niragi to be putting in all the work. Chishiya just didn't care about either of you anymore

Genre: angst

Childish

Summary: Niragi never though he'd find someone. Especially not someone like you who's so innocent and childish. You're his, and he couldn't be happier.

Genre: Fluff

Sugar and Spice Not So Nice

Summary: You hate him. He hates you. When your boyfriend cheats on you, it seems you both have a personal vandeta against him.

Genre: Smut, fluff, tiny bit of angst mixed in

WIP

Chapter 15 of 100 Promises

Arisu

Quality Time

Summary: Spending time with your boyfriend is always the highlight of your day.

Genre: fluff, implied smut?

Deja Vu

Summary: break ups are hard. Especially having to watch your ex be happier than you. Your best friend suggests ways to get over it, but you might regret it when you wake up

Genre: Kind of angst, fluff mostly.

Chishiya

Long Stories:

Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

"In a world where women are always looked down upon, I had to be smarter. I had to be better. I'm not strong or athletic, so spades are hard. Clubs make me berserk I hate working with people. Hearts, while better than the other two are still hard... now Diamonds... Diamonds is where I really shine, Shuntarou. Because for a clever girl like me... Diamonds are my best friend."

Ch. 1 , Ch. 2, Ch. 3 , Ch. 4

Fluff, angst, eventual smut

Hide

Summary: relationships are hard, especially in the borderlands. His apathy only makes it harder, but was it really for the better?

Genre: angst/fluff?

Pragma

Summary: The 7 words for love all have a cupid. The gods decide to send you, the cupid of Pragma, to help him out.

Genre: fluff? Maybe some angst

Love Older Than Time

Summary: Chishiya and yourself take the roles of Hades and Persephone, and seeing as your mother doesn't like him, trouble does follow you.

Genre: domestic fluff? Some angst sprinkled in

Better

Summary: Chishiya is not a competitive person. Until it comes to showing you up.

Genre: smut, fluff

Between the Stars and the Earth

Summary: after leaving the borderlands, Chishiya is plagued with dreams of a woman who is so familiar, yet a stranger. In the hospital he meets someone that helps him out a bit

Genre: fluff, slight angst, hurt comfort?? Mostly fluff however.

Last Boss

Keep Talking

Summary: Even when no one else wants to listen, you find someone who does. What was unexpected was just the person who decided to listen.

Genre: fluff

Agape

Summary: Others purposefully try and summon demons, only to be very disappointed. Of course, accidentally summoning a cupid was just his luck. Even more his luck the only person he seems to find interest in is her.

Genre: fluff mostly

Chota

Nothing Holding Me Back

Summary: Chota's girlfriend is a spontaneous firecracker. She takes him on a trip and tries to get him to loosen up a bit more.

Genre: fluff

WIP

Philia

Karube

One-Shots

Stay High

Summary: After the death of your beloved, you can't find any other way to numb the pain other than to stay high. It's not healthy, but you don't care.

Genre: Angst

WIP

Storge

The Best

Eastside

Tatta

Headcanon Drabble

WIP

Love You Most

Drabbles/Scenarios

You Two as Texts From My Friends 2 (that's right, I never posted part one here, did I?)

You Two As Texts From My Friends 3

You Two As Texts From My Friends 4

You Two As Texts From My Friends 5

You Being Sick

Comfort For Loss of a Pet

Texts From Them 1 (I want to make more haha)

Words And Song That Describe the Relationship

Drives With Them

[fan-cam]

House of the Dragon, Season 1 review + analysis (contains spoilers for HOT D and GOT)

Okay so, as you may have guessed, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the first season of House of the Dragon (from here on out, referred to as HOT D). It’s been two full weeks since the finale aired and though I am deeply sad it has come to an end, I have appreciated taking some time to reflect and of course watch the last episode three times through.

Game of Thrones (GOT) is a pretty big deal to me. Though I did not start watching the show until May of 2019, well-after it had finished, I promptly watched it three times through in about a year and a half, and became deeply involved with Westeros using it to escape a lot of personal events as well as the pandemic. Once I finished I saw an uptick in my mental health as I was brought back to reality, which underscores how important it is to check in on those coping mechanisms from time to time (are they still helping you?), but I will always feel deeply dependent on and involved in that series. 

I was nervous for HOT D, like many, because it had enormous shoes to fill. Additionally, I don’t think we have recovered from the societal trauma that was The Hobbit trilogy, making us wary of fantasy spin-offs and prequels. But, also like many, by the end of episode 1 I was hooked. Being back in Westeros and experiencing the show in real time was truly such a gift. For ten weeks, Sundays at 9 pm became my happiest time, and each subsequent week I would listen to several hours of Joanna Robinson and Mallory Rubin unpacking each episode, beat-by-beat, on The Ringer-Verse podcast network (you must listen).

Let's truly get into it: Season 1 feels like a pre-season, working with us to recalibrate almost 200 years before GOT, and setting us up for what’s to come--The Dance of the Dragons. I think some viewers found this to be a weakness, meaning the show moved slowly and lacked the big budget battles that we saw so much in GOT (though I would remind you that episode 9 of season 2 is the first time we witness a huge battle sequence). But this is something that I loved about HOT D; I felt that we got to spend time with each character, understand where they come from, how they communicate and connect with one another, ultimately allowing us to empathize with and love them a lot more than other TV characters this early on. Preliminary seasons are hard for me in general, I prefer them on a rewatch once I actually have a sense for each character, but with HOT D I felt connected from the beginning--a testament to the slow burn, not to mention the writing, acting, shots, lighting, sets, CGI, etc, etc, etc.  

It is also very important to note that HOT D has more female-directed episodes than GOT ever did. Seems hard to believe that a ten-episode season had more than a 73-episode show? That’s because GOT had zero. Four of HOT D’s ten were directed by women and we also saw an increase in female writers. Though we had an abundance of strong women in GOT, it felt refreshing to have a story centered around the very powerful Alicent Hightower and Rhaenyra Targaryen, showcasing the intensity and depths of female friendship. This season felt way more feminist than anything GOT ever did and feels like a real strong season for the girlies. Finally, I would be remiss not to mention Emma D’Arcy, who plays Rhaenyra, is non-binary. I am beyond excited to see a non-binary actor cast as the lead in this and do an absolutely phenomenal job. Emma provided us with one of the best performances I have ever seen in the Westerosi Cinematic Universe IMHO. 

Now onto a few things I did not love. At the beginning of episode 1, Aemma Targaryen has a conversation with her daughter Rheanyra about her duty as a woman, telling her "the childbed is our battlefield", unveiling a main theme of this prequel. As I previously said, GOT is known for its big battles in which women seldom participate. In trying to create a show that portrayed woman as strong and decreased the sexual violence we saw in GOT, the creators turned to childbirth to show the pains, struggles and war that women go through in this universe. I understand the thinking behind this, however it went too far at times. My biggest qualm, which I know a lot of other viewers shared, was an over-the-top-graphic stillbirth in the finale. We know that these shows are going to push us, make us feel sick and see things we don’t want to without apology, because that is a lot of Westeros' essence, but this felt like a little much. Also its important to underscore that Greg Yaitanes and Ryan Condal (two men) were the directing/writing duo for this episode.

Another pain point for me was the addition of Aegon's dream--“A Song of Ice and Fire”. In episode 3, King Viserys Targaryen brings Rhaenyra, his daughter, into his chambers to show her his cool little knife that GOT fans recognize as the knife that arguably started the War of the Five Kings and led to Little Finger’s execution. He tells his daughter, as he prepares her as his heir, that Aegon the Conquer had a vision that an army of the undead will descend upon the seven kingdoms (AKA the story that GOT/A Song of Ice and Fire tells), and a Targaryen HAS to be in power when this happens so they can unite the realm against the evil. Why is a Targaryen the one who can unite the realm you may ask? No idea. This is a show invention and an addition that feels like a fan nod at the expense of the story. Aegon's dream brought me out of the show since it felt so out of place and, to make me dislike it even more, leads to our very controversial Daemon the Domestic Abuser choking scene further making this plot point difficult for me. You knew I was going to mention this scene and in summary I do not believe domestic violence is needed to showcase Daemon as a morally gray, complicated character.

These complaints aside, HOT D is one of the best seasons of TV I have ever seen. Dare I say that I enjoyed parts of it more than, hold for suspense, GOT. It could be the recency factor though so I guess I will have to rewatch all 73 episodes just to double check. I would absolutely recommend HOT D if you have not yet watched or are avoiding it because season 8 broke your heart. Additionally, you do not have to have seen GOT to watch HOT D: it is a prequel and though it will be easier to watch if you’ve seen GOT since you already have an understanding of how the universe operates, it is not a prerequisite. 

🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥/🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥

[nikadoesanart]

Will Jouno assist Fukuchi?

In ch 92, Fukuchi shows Bram to Jouno (though I'd say introduce would be a better way to describe it cause Jouno's blind but minor inconsequential details) and reveals that he is the mastermind behind the Agency being framed and asks Jouno to help him. Personally, I think that Jouno is just a bit more likely to form some kind of alliance with Fukuchi but not necessarily a full-on partnership, much less to the point where it'd be considered working more with Fukuchi as Kamui of the DOA than helping Fukuchi as Fukuchi himself or as the commander of the HD.

Also, I am using @buraihatranslations translation of ch 92, so that's where my exact phrasing for quotations and page counts are coming from. You can read the full translation here.

The main context of our focus

“I’m the mastermind. Jouno, wouldn’t you like to assist me?” (p 19)

For starters, I don’t think Fukuchi is being a reckless idiot for saying this. Considering that he's literally Kamui, he obviously must’ve considered this as a calculated but worthwhile risk to take. As I’ve previously mentioned in my ch 89.5 cover art analysis, Jouno is the most on the fence of the HD in terms of supporting Fukuchi vs believing in the Agency’s innocence. In fact, as we learned in 92, he simply doesn’t care and can therefore be considered a (nearly) neutral party. Jouno is also basically a living breathing lie detector, so he can tell apart the likes of jokes and lies from the truth very easily. Jouno also cares primarily about being able to hear his victim’s suffering, regardless of who’s right or wrong or innocent or guilty (as he’s told Aya). It logically just makes the most sense for Fukuchi to try to get Jouno on his side out of all the HD because :

Teruko is a simp for Fukuchi but she still cares about civilians and being able to take pride in her job as an officer (Sky Casino)

Tachihara has already clearly established his doubts in the ADA being guilty in front of all of the HD (ch 89) and told Fukuchi that he sees himself as more Mafia than HD now (ch 89.5)

Tecchou has a very strong sense of justice and cares about fairness, so asking him to quite literally join the side of the terrorists would never work out and would essentially be a waste of both time and possibly personnel too

What does Jouno personally want?

As I've already briefly touched on (and presumably you already read ch 92 before this), Jouno has already stated his goals, which gives us a good sense of where he stands morally.

“I just want to hear the voice of someone’s suffering.” (p 9)

“To hurt people under the name of the law[,] corner them and hear their “sound” as they break.” (p 10)

Now that we’ve more than established that Jouno is in fact, a sadist, I do want to emphasize Jouno’s mention of the law. Not only does he enjoy making people suffer (specifically psychologically, as he’s mentioned before), but he specifically mentions that he wants to do it “under/in the name of the law”, meaning that he likely either only wants to do it in a “justifiable”/“excusable” way or that he doesn’t want or plan to be held accountable for his actions (or worse, both). Until we get a backstory reveal, there could be any number of reasons for him being this way. I think it’s fairly likely that he’s from a similar situation to Fukuchi (took part in the Great War, and the mental scarring of everything he experienced then caused him to find some sort of extreme and inhumane goal or enjoyment to cope with it all). So for example, he could have been drafted for the War because he’s an ability user (or maybe he already happened to be in some sort of training where he received recognition for his skills, ie. the military academy or part of a renowned dojo) and eventually that led him to become a sadist because coping mechanism or discovering that he’s a sadist because of some extreme circumstances (ie. having to interrogate a prisoner for the first time and realizing how much he enjoyed giving and hearing the psychological torture).

Example of Jouno's excuses and justification

“I was just asking suspects for cooperation!”

“Then do it after they sign the consent form for judicial transaction. Otherwise, it’s not justice.” (p 12)

On one hand, we have Jouno who is very quick to make excuses for his actions by using his position as an officer to justify his behavior. Despite knowingly and intentionally using extreme measures, beyond what's necessary for the situation, he's using the law and his job to try to justify it. (If you're seeing some real-world parallels here, good job!)

On the other hand, we have Tecchou who very clearly values actual justice that is fair to all parties (as we’ve seen previously with him promising the cafe owner that the ADA will get a fair trial at the very least in ch 72). In fact, I think it’d be safe to say that Tecchou is the one that values impartial justice and fairness the most out of the HD, but that's not the focus here.

Parallelisms and which other organizations would suit him and his goals

(p 15-16)

For starters, Jouno appears to be on the side that believes that the ADA is a part of/affiliated with the DOA (if I’m not reading this wrong)

Also, I’d like to highlight him saying:

“ ‘Our tastes match’, if I should say. The abusive nature. To be honest, I’m almost empathetic. If we happen to lose this battle, I wouldn’t mind reemploying to their side. Not to say that we wouldn’t possibly lose.”

Jouno has no doubt in the strength of the HD but also just wants to be on the abusively cruel side dishing out the suffering. If he’s able to use his position to excuse his actions (ie. what he said about Aya just a few pages ago), then that’s even better for him. The ADA has an ability permit and currently ⅓ of the police force is siding with them and believes in their innocence. Joining the ADA next, should the HD lose, would be the most advantageous for him, if the allegations of them being abusively cruel terrorists were true.

In my opinion, his actual next best organization to join, based on his interests and goals so far as well as his own methods, would be the PM. They have an ability permit too and he’d have just as many chances to be either on the front lines and/or work with the interrogation team. With what his goals has revealed about his moral code, he’s just more cut out for the nature and surface level goals of the PM than the ADA. In fact, Dazai has already admitted to the two of them being alike (which we as the readers can deduce is for their methods in manipulation and interrogation) and Dazai has previously mentioned that he’d sometimes have to come in and help Kouyou’s interrogation team with the job (ch 19). Jouno joining the PM could be a very easy transition, should he stop caring about doing things “under the name of the law” (p 10). However, there is a loophole with the PM being a part of the tripartite tactic, of which the whole goal is to protect Yokohama. Both we as the readers and the members of the ADA know that despite their methods, the PM does in fact care about upholding the overall peace and safety of Yokohama. The reason why he jokes about joining the ADA and makes no mention of the PM (at least in my opinion), is because before all of this, to the public eye, the ADA was one of the “good guys” that were upholding the law whereas the PM is quite literally the mafia. (I touch on this part too in my ch 89.5 cover art analysis.)

Back to answering Fukuchi's question now

I feel like Jouno is ever so slightly more likely to form some kind of alliance with Fukuchi as Kamui but not straight up joining the DOA/allying with the DOA as a whole because again, Jouno is very much sadistic but he also specifically tells Aya (a possible hostage and a confirmed supporter of the ADA) that he specifically wants to “to hurt people under the name of the law” (p 10). Fully siding with the DOA and Kamui would mean that he’d no longer be working under the protection of the law, by any extent, unless Fukuchi were to create some kind of excuse as the commander of the HD (ie. Jouno was under the control of the vampirism). He might work with Fukuchi but I don’t think he’d work with or for Kamui. Either way, I think that overall it’s a very close tie.

In short:

If he says yes then he’d risk not having the law to protect him any longer, which is a part of what he clearly wants to have. The only way around this is some sort of agreement where Fukuchi will create a believable excuse for Jouno helping or he does it in a very indirect way that won't be noticed by others or can easily be played off as some sort of coincidence.

If he says no, he’d likely have to go up against Fukuchi and Bram and risk getting turned as well. I doubt he’d be killed since that would raise too many questions with Tecchou and Teruko, and thanks to Tachihara’s fight, I’d say it’s all been explicitly stated that still being alive is a part of the requirements to be turned into a vampire. When Tachihara tried to off himself as a last resort, specifically to stop Fukuchi and Bram from turning him into a vampire, Fukuchi personally prevented that from happening (ch 90).

Jouno has established that he just wants to hear the sound of people suffering (which Fukuchi would probably have learned of or figured out by now, considering that he’s the commanding officer here), which can be achieved from quite literally any side. However, his condition to this is doing it "under the name of the law", so being on a side that has the law’s protection and works on the front lines is where he’d be closest to achieving this with minimal risk (so realistically the HD or ADA). I doubt Jouno would have any interest in joining the Special Division because I doubt he’d get to do much interrogating or front-line work there, in addition to him having less of an excuse for his cruel methods, and I've already gone over why he'd rather join the ADA than the PM.

[holly-benji]

CHENFORD 4X07..SERIOUSLY??

New episode but unfortunately no new theory. I had high expectations, but was not particularly listened to in my wishes. I've had a very mixed opinion of the last few episodes of The Rookie, and although I've tried to change points of view, to suggest situations to "our advantage," I keep losing sight of the continuity of the episodes. 

*DIGRESSION* I'll give an example that isn't related to Chenford. We left Nyla and Don in bed together in 4x05; since then no other mention of the 2 of them. And even the fire serial, frankly I expected more then Marcus (too predictable). And Nolan trying to escape, as cute as it may be to watch, it's a continued demonstration of how he's the main character, and there's no greater chorality. The screen time is also definitely in Nolan's favor. Of course, he's the character that the series is built on, but if he took a back seat a few times, it wouldn't be a bad idea. I hope, since episodes 8 and 9 will have Tim's sister among the cast, that this will be the case. I'll let you in on a secret: I've never been a fan of stories where the protagonists are the champions of justice, always perfect, who manage to resolve situations on their own, and who are the superman/wonder woman of the situation. And that's what happens with Nolan and Bailey. They definitely have moments that make me smile, but most of the time I find them too perfect. Even Bailey, army, firefighters, then? Do we want to add anything else to her career? In the end it's not even plausible anymore, in my opinion. *END OF DIGRESSION*

Let's come to Chenford: we've still had a few of their interactions, but we're always moving on the flirty side, and frankly it's starting to get heavy. Especially for Lucy: can we believe that the only focus of her entire day is the bet with Tim? I left a badass Chen, and I find her completely disassembled from her features. We're going ooc. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, because I think her acting this way stems from always trying to be happy, like she was striving, or trying to keep herself busy to get over Jackson's death. It could be a coping mechanism of hers, but at some point she's going to have to take stock of the situation.

I see on Tumblr that many people justify this as Lucy and Tim needing to deepen their friendship, and get away from the time they were TO/Rookie. I might agree except that it's been a minimum of 5 or 6 months. In 3x09 if I remember correctly Angela was in her 4th month, so by the time 4x01 was over, 5 months had passed. Now we are on episode 7, so more time has definitely passed. Also the scenes in the Van were very cute, but rushed (to give Nolan more and more screen time or because they really want to buy us?). I'm increasingly convinced that the writers are testing the waters, but what more proof do they need that we want Chenford? They're pulling the strings a bit too much, and in my opinion after episode 10 we could definitely draw our conclusions: if at the end of this episode we don't have confirmations/moments that give a clear intention of Chenford then let's rule out anything happening to them this season. There must be a clear reference by now, and instead we waste time in chatter. The only tiny signal we can cling to is Tim throwing a "truce" and wanting to close the bet. This is totally not Tim, and would be a huge ooc, so surely there is an explanation, which is not the one he gave Chen. Again, the writers blind the viewers to what caused him to act this way, leaving us holding the bag. The explanation I've come up with is that between the UC moment and the hospital visit Tim has been reflecting on what's between him and Chen, certainly with respect to the question the girl asked him in the car: are you dating anyone? Clearly he is, he's dating Ashley, but is she really the one he wants? 

I think with increasing certainty that he has thrown himself at her (maybe not even consciously) because he sees Chen as unavailable and especially because he reflects the relationship he had with Jerry on his daughter. I don't remember who said this, so I apologize if you read this post, but I think you're right: Tim is transferring his relationship with Jerry onto Ashley. Definitely good girl, principled, INTERESTED IN HIM (which according to Tim Lucy is not.... 3x09 how many times do I have to call in that prank?) and a chance to fix his life once and for all. 

This question may have really caused Tim to wonder why he's dating another woman (probably also why he didn't tell Lucy) and weighing his feelings toward Chen. My guess is that he's trying to put distance between him and Lucy. Sometimes  consciously (4x03, 4x07) other unconsciously (4x06 - ask Ashley out). 

And although Lucy has now willingly accepted, it's not certain that she won't regret this "distance" perhaps by making her open her eyes. I remain convinced at this point that Tim is afraid and runs away, probably also because of what happened in 3x09, and because of his past. So let's wait and see. As always I embrace you, and tell me what you think, if you read all of this thank you so much!! See you soon, Holly!