#harry realizing that there's more to his parents past and snape is the only one that's been upfront with him about it

[seleneprince]

(This is exactly what I wanted, thank you so much for answering it!

Your analysis over their dynamic in PoA with that added layer is so interesting, and so much better of what we had in canon, in my opinion. Like, it felt criminal to me that snape wasn't allowed to snap back at lupin's assholery. It's the least he deserved, and we know snape has a silver tongue when he needs to, so he would be far better at these verbal games than lupin maybe that's why jk didn't write it, because she knew snape would've have destroyed lupin

He was terrified of the man, sure, but he's way too petty and vindictive to let that stop him from putting the man into his place. Seriously, after all the shit he went through for that ungrateful man, i think he should have been less polite and more like the vicious snake we know he is and love. Personally, I think their dynamic would've have been more enjoyable to read if they both fenced each other instead of lupin getting away withe everything and snape getting the short end of the stick. Snape is a better person that I am, because had it been me, I would've spent the whole year throwing hints of his "furry problem" in front of students just to put him on edge and piss him off, knowing that dumbledore wouldn't have done shit about it because its not like i'm outing him, right? Just some silly comments with no meaning...if he reacts strongly to them, that's his problem.

Also, this?:

"A large shape had appeared in it, revolving very fast." Excuse me? 'Revolving very fast?' What direction?? That's fucking hilarious

My snupin heart tells me he was scrumbling to get in there as soon as he heard snape call for him (because he's low-key a masochist and loves getting his ass handled back to him lmao). That, or he knew something was wrong so he considered for a second to go somewhere else, far from snape. Either way, it's hilarious indeed.

First of all, I need to express my love for you and how grateful I am for your deep understanding of Lupin and Snape's characters. You're the first person I see that loves them both while also acknowledging their flaws and not trying to sugarcoat Lupin's toxicity (again, thank you)

Secondly, it is because of your great comprehension towards them that I'd like to see your opinion on this. We don't talk enough about Lupin's shitty and completely uncalled for behaviour towards Snape during PoA (and just how well Snape handles it, because God knows most people would have snapped, and he had more reasons than anyone to do so, but only intervened when CHILDREN'S safety was compromised)

What do you think would've happened in a world where, instead of taking Lupin's bullying and mocking during PoA, he returns it just as smoothly and doesn't just let the man walk over him? What of an alternative universe where Snape just says "you know what? Fuck it, I'm a loser but you're no better" and despite still being terrified afraid of Lupin, he also resents him and subtly puts him back in his place every time he pulls the usual shit? (While also keeping his distance because he doesn't want that man anywhere near him)

Would have Lupin gotten angry? Would he get cold feet and keep the distance too because he can't handle Snape actually fighting back? Would this turn into a toxic asf enemies to lovers dynamic with all the passive-agressive exchanges, backhanded compliments and constant fight for dominance in the situation?

Seriously, love your blog 💕 Hope you're well and thriving

Thankyou for the love :') I love the boys, and without their complex layers of toxicity and trauma the boys just wouldn't be The Boys anymore. Lupin's softness is nothing without his sharp edges after all. Its been awhile since I read PoA. Its the next one i'm reading to my boyfriend. But this is a really interesting fic idea!!! Such a small change - but potential big consequences...? Remus is a coward, but in PoA he was spoiled with getting his own way - and things generally went really well for him. I flicked through some of the chapters where they interact, so this isn't perfect - but what if Snape did snap back every time Remus tried to press him...? He was told to keep the werewolf's secret - not to allow himself to be bullied again. ((This this turned into a looooong look into their dynamic. Oopsy.))

Remus Lupin and the Nasty Man who Wont Let Things be Easy for Him

Chapter 7,

Remus arrives ~fashionably late~ to class so he can surprise the kids: 'only bring your wands (no lame textbooks) for a practical.' He is confident, a little playful - dealing with Peeves effortlessly. (His father specialized in things like poltergeists and boggarts, after all.) The kids think he is cool! He already knows all their names! He is glowing with pride just to be there. So adorable I love him. He has 100% been bouncing on his heels with nerves and excitement to teach this lesson. There is no way he was ACTUALLY late - he just wanted to appear aloof.

He wants to be cool - and fun - and comforting - and safe: Why else have the first lesson be getting the kids to face the scariest thing they can imagine under HIS warm protection...? Albus is definitely his role model - they have the same manipulation tactics. Very different to Snapes 'get it right or else' lesson beforehand. He is safe. He is SO safe. He is The Safest Man. He's learned all their names already, isn't that nice of him?? Now he can learn all their fears, too - and he can soothe them!!! How well planned, Mr Lupin… Warm, soft, fluffy Mr. Lupin. So capable and so sweet… He could NEVER be a monster! Nobody will EVER suspect he is a monster...

As Professor Lupin came in and made to close the door behind him, Snape said, ‘Leave it open, Lupin. I’d rather not witness this.’ He got to his feet and strode past the class, his black robes billowing behind him. At the doorway he turned on his heel and said, ‘Possibly no one’s warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear.’ Neville went scarlet. Harry glared at Snape; it was bad enough that he bullied Neville in his own classes, let alone doing it in front of other teachers. Professor Lupin had raised his eyebrows. ‘I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first stage of the operation,’ he said, ‘and I am sure he will perform it admirably.’ Neville’s face went, if possible, even redder. Snape’s lip curled, but he left, shutting the door with a snap.

Though Snape was still being nasty about the previous lesson - this was a HELPFUL comment more than it was a jeer at Neville. He almost didn't say anything at all - but turned on his heel at the last second. He knows Remus was irresponsible with danger in his youth and is new to teaching. So he gives him a tip: 'Longbottom is difficult to manage. Granger is capable and trustworthy. Pair them together if you must.'

...Honestly he was basically setting Lupin up to look good. Anything Remus said would have seemed lovely, even a terse "Yes, well, thankyou Professor. We will see about that." ...But Lupin politely and confidently spat back. Always politely. He wasn't rude to Snape, but the meaning was clear: 'Back off, Severus. I decide what my students can handle.'

Snape's lip curled. (That's his version of a sneering little smile) 'Oh yeah? Good luck with that.' The amount of body language these men talk through, both masters of hiding their intentions and emotions with masks - they fence with words and actions.

How could Snape snap back without seeming like he was lashing out...? Remus bullies by asserting dominance in a way that makes others seem like they're being mean to gentle widdle Wupin if they retaliate, or are being silly if they defend themselves. Remus is desperate for his students to have confidence in him. To think of him as their sweet savior. To soothe his worries of posing a danger to them, of being rejected, of being suspected…

Snape’s lip curled. "…Then I wish you good luck, Mr. Wolf." he drawled as he left, shutting the door with a snap.

…Maybe that treads the line of what he is allowed to say. Remus would scramble to Dumbledore's office in a panic, to get him to warn Severus not to play silly games... but he would have to do that later, in secret - away from the kids. In the immediate - he would stammer to remind them: "Of course, Lupin means 'Wolf' in French… Snape is just making a little joke!" But god, what a way to knock him off-balance-!

I don't think it will change how the lesson goes. If anything, Lupin will be more keen to push Neville to humiliate Snape via his Boggart. Especially knowing he will soon be seeing Snape's lip curl in triumph as he gets told off by Dumbledore - because Remus snitched. How humiliating, getting a 'teacher' involved. (They're little boys at heart.) There is nothing Snape likes more than humiliating a bully. Every time 'Boggart' is mentioned Snape has the sweet memory of seeing Lupin look so pathetic in-front of Dumbledore, his role model. Every time a kid calls him 'Mr Wolf' as a joke... Remus will have to pretend he 'doesn't mind much', but gently insist they use his real name, please. He will know to tread carefully around Severus.

Chapter 8,

Harry is at a low point emotionally. He is having a good chat with Lupin, who seems to understand him better than other teachers. Though, Lupin is still speaking vaguely, making allusions - much like Dumbledore.

'Sit down,’ said Lupin, taking the lid off a dusty tin. ‘I’ve only got teabags, I’m afraid – but I daresay you’ve had enough of tea leaves?’ Harry looked at him. Lupin’s eyes were twinkling. ‘How did you know about that?’ Harry asked.

If it didn't say 'Lupin' you'd 100% believe Albus said that - complete with twinkling eyes and an awestruck Harry. ((This is making me wanna do a whole thing comparing how Albus and Remus act)) Anyway - In this cozy atmosphere, where Remus is enjoying being the object of Harry's awe, and not telling him he was his parents' close friend...

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. ‘Come in,’ called Lupin. The door opened, and in came Snape. He was carrying a goblet, which was smoking faintly, and stopped at the sight of Harry, his black eyes narrowing. ‘Ah, Severus,’ said Lupin, smiling. ‘Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?’ Snape set the smoking goblet down, his eyes wandering between Harry and Lupin. ‘I was just showing Harry my Grindylow,’ said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank. ‘Fascinating,’ said Snape, without looking at it. ‘You should drink that directly, Lupin.’ ‘Yes, yes, I will,’ said Lupin. ‘I made an entire cauldronful,’ Snape continued. ‘If you need more.’ ‘I should probably take some again tomorrow. Thanks very much, Severus.’ ‘Not at all,’ said Snape, but there was a look in his eye Harry didn’t like. He backed out of the room, unsmiling and watchful. Harry looked curiously at the goblet. Lupin smiled.

Aka. Severus walks into the beasts den and finds a pup. Have you ever seen Severus act so polite? So appeasing? So... dare I say... submissive? Even Harry knew something was up - worried Snape was acting meek because he was trying to POISON Remus. (Only in his dreams.)

And Remus-! All smiles! Harry is looking into the goblet? SMILE! 'I was showing HARRY, who is here in my office with us RIGHT NOW, my Grindylow! ...Oh, 'my' potion? Yes, yes... how kind. Lovely. Marvelous. Please and Thankyou and GET OUT.' Antsy. On edge. Calm twinkling eyes are now jaw-clenching smiles.

Lupin drained the goblet and pulled a face. ‘Disgusting,’ he said. ‘Well, Harry, I’d better get back to work. I’ll see you at the feast later.’

'How lovely Severus is to brew this innocent potion! I shall drink it now! Teehee, its a bit yucky~ Anyway Harry YOU SHOULD LEAVE.'

He just made the boy some tea, ready to have a heart-to-heart... and because Severus came in with his wolfsbane: screaming internally. On any other day, with any other person, Severus would have struck his pitchfork right into his chest and turned him over like hay. They are both defensive here. Cats circling each-other. Severus is SO spooked due to it being close to the Full Moon, entering a private room with Remus - and now having to speak carefully because The Lad is there - he just allows Remus to be the boss 'Yes, sir - on the desk? Of course...' He just wants to leave. No waxing gibbous werewolf temper. Adios.

...What about a Severus that see's Remus' fear of not being in control of the information in the room - of having Harry ask questions? How about he uses his own discomfort to fuel being a little bugger?

‘Come in,’ called Lupin. The door opened, and in came Snape. He was carrying a goblet, which was smoking faintly, and stopped at the sight of Harry, his black eyes narrowing. ‘Ah, Severus,’ said Lupin, smiling. ‘Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?’ Snape walked up to desk, his eyes curiously wandering between Harry and Lupin. ‘I was just showing Harry my Grindylow,’ said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank. 'Right here would be marvelous.' He patted the the edge of the desk furthest from Harry with his fingertips. ‘...I rather think you should drink it now.’ said Snape, ignoring it completely. ‘Your little chat can wait till you recover, surely.’ ‘Yes, yes, I will-’ Lupin seemed a little flustered. His eyes darted to Harry's, and for a moment he thought he could see fear. Harry's stomach dropped a little as he peered curiously at the goblet. ‘I made an entire cauldronful,’ Snape continued. ‘Since you will be needing more than this for your... particular condition-’ ‘Yes, Thankyou, Severus.' Lupin spoke firmer now, cutting him off. Harry had never seen his gaze look so sharp. 'I'll take more tomorrow, then.’ There was an odd standoff between them. Snape's head tilted as he opened his hand for the goblet, but kept his distance. The edge of Lupin's smile strained for a moment before he tipped the strange, steaming brew back and started to drink. Harry had a mad urge to knock the goblet out of his hands. ‘Ugh... Pity sugar makes it useless...’ he almost choked taking one last hurried gulp, leaning to hand the smoking goblet over. ‘Indeed. A pity.’ said Snape, lip curling into a smug hook. There was a look in his eye Harry didn’t like. 'Potter - I highly recommend you leave the Professor alone now to rest.' He turned sharply, cloak flowing behind him as he left. The smoke left a funny smell in his wake. Harry looked to Lupin. There was so much to say he was tongue tied! Does he warn him that Snape wants his job? Does he ask about the potion? A part of him even wanted to comfort his teacher. Adults didn't usually have this much trouble with Snape... ‘Well, Harry, he is right - I’ve been feeling a bit off-colour recently. I’ll see you at the feast later.’ Lupin stood quickly, gesturing him to leave. ‘...Right,’ said Harry, putting his empty teacup down.

I think, if anything, Harry being there would have made Severus bolder. Remus, at the end of the day, can't bring himself to start fights. To refuse to drink the potion would make him look like a child. Rather than seeming like he has a foot up on Snape he now seems a little... pathetic. Infront of the boy he wanted to impress.

Severus is cornering Remus to drain his confidence. He isn't threatening to out him - but he is speaking as if he might, keeping Remus on his toes while staying completely innocent. He is playing Remus' game against him, and is better at it. He has the advantage of far less to hide - and far less to prove.

Chapter 14,

This is the one where Remus and Snape have their grand sparring match about the Marauders Map, but I wanted to add something to what Snape says to Harry beforehand:

‘What did you say to me, Potter?’ ‘I told you to shut up about my dad!’ Harry yelled. ‘I know the truth, all right? He saved your life! Dumbledore told me! You wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for my dad!’ Snape’s sallow skin had gone the colour of sour milk. ‘And did the Headmaster tell you the circumstances in which your father saved my life?’ he whispered. ‘Or did he consider the details too unpleasant for precious Potter’s delicate ears?’ Harry bit his lip. He didn’t know what had happened and didn’t want to admit it – but Snape seemed to have guessed the truth. ‘I would hate you to run away with a false idea of your father, Potter,’ he said, a terrible grin twisting his face. ‘Have you been imagining some act of glorious heroism? Then let me correct you – your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn’t got cold feet at the last moment. There was nothing brave about what he did. He was saving his own skin as much as mine. Had their joke succeeded, he would have been expelled from Hogwarts.’ Snape’s uneven, yellowish teeth were bared.

I think Snape would actually be surprised that Lupin hadn't told Harry anything about his father. That HE had told him more about James than ANYONE else had bothered to! He would have expected Harry would now know all sorts of stories where they humiliated him... Unless maybe that was part of a deal? He doesn't talk about werewolves - Remus doesn't talk about his past...? Regardless - I don't think Snape would think it too revealing to say this:

'I suppose your new favourite teacher's painted a very different image of your father. All the better to win your precious trust.'

I think he would be confused that Harry was confused - before getting him to turn his pockets out. It would plant a seed of doubt in Harry's mind: Lupin was keeping BIG things from him.

He strode across to his fire, seized a fistful of glittering powder from a jar on the fireplace, and threw it into the flames. ‘Lupin!’ Snape called into the fire. ‘I want a word!’ Utterly bewildered, Harry stared at the fire. A large shape had appeared in it, revolving very fast. Seconds later, Professor Lupin was clambering out of the fireplace, brushing ash off his shabby robes. ‘You called, Severus?’ said Lupin mildly. ‘I certainly did,’ said Snape, his face contorted with fury as he strode back to his desk. ‘I have just asked Potter to empty his pockets. He was carrying this.’ Snape pointed at the parchment, on which the words of Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were still shining. An odd, closed expression appeared on Lupin’s face. ‘Well?’ said Snape. Lupin continued to stare at the map. Harry had the impression that Lupin was doing some very quick thinking. ‘Well?’ said Snape again. ‘This parchment is plainly full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, Lupin. Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?’ Lupin looked up and, by the merest half glance in Harry’s direction, warned him not to interrupt.

First of all: "A large shape had appeared in it, revolving very fast." Excuse me? 'Revolving very fast?' What direction?? That's fucking hilarious

Severus knows that Lupin made this parchment. He recognized the nicknames. Snape is better with Dark Magic than Lupin, Harry especially suspects Snape is keen on Dark Magic - it is ridiculous to call Lupin there to inspect the map, and everyone knows it. Snape wants to corner Lupin (for once) and get him to slip up about letting Black into the castle. Remus, of course, puts on another mask so he doesn't react to anything - and shoots Harry an 'I've got this' glance. Which is all very well and good for a confident Remus that's had Severus under his heel all year... But OUR Severus? The Severus that's made Remus look (and feel) wimpy? ...I think they're both going to get a shock.

‘Full of Dark Magic?’ he repeated mildly. ‘Do you really think so, Severus? It looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment that insults anybody who tries to read it. Childish, but surely not dangerous? I imagine Harry got it from a joke-shop –’ ‘Indeed?’ said Snape. His jaw had gone rigid with anger. ‘You think a joke-shop could supply him with such a thing? You don’t think it more likely that he got it directly from the manufacturers?’ Harry didn’t understand what Snape was talking about. Nor, apparently, did Lupin. ‘You mean, from Mr Wormtail or one of these people?’ he said. ‘Harry, do you know any of these men?’ ‘No,’ said Harry quickly. ‘You see, Severus?’ said Lupin, turning back to Snape. ‘It looks like a Zonko product to me –’ Right on cue, Ron came bursting into the office. He was completely out of breath, and stopped just short of Snape’s desk, clutching the stitch in his chest and trying to speak. ‘I – gave – Harry – that – stuff,’ he choked. ‘Bought – it – in Zonko’s – ages – ago …’ ‘Well!’ said Lupin, clapping his hands together and looking around cheerfully. ‘That seems to clear that up! Severus, I’ll take this back, shall I?’ He folded the map and tucked it inside his robes. ‘Harry, Ron, come with me, I need a word about my vampire essay. Excuse us, Severus.’

To Harry - Lupin didn't seem to know what Snape was talking about. He is stunned as the teachers have their little battle - as Severus tries not to say too much, and Remus lies through his teeth about things he doesn't need to lie about. His name is written on it. Dumbledore would know who 'Moony' is. Given the chance to defend Lupin, Harry and the Weasleys would come clean on how they got it. But OUR Harry? He knows Lupin is keeping secrets. He cuts off conversations when he feels stressed, he stammers excuses for odd behaviour - and now Snape has suggested he knew James more intimately than just 'being friends at Hogwarts' - yet has told him nothing of note. He might be a little protective of Lupin, but he has never trusted any adult fully... and he is starting to smell the lies.

‘You mean, from Mr Wormtail or one of these people?’ he said. ‘Harry, do you know any of these men?’ ‘No,’ said Harry quickly. ‘You see, Severus?’ said Lupin, turning back to Snape. ‘It looks like a Zonko product to me –’ 'But you do, right? Professor?' Harry cut him off. The silence was palpable. Remus' soft smile was missing at he stared back, wide-eyed. Snape was just as speechless. He realized, with a sickening drop in his stomach, he had essentially just come to Snape's defense. Before anyone could say anything more, Ron came bursting into the office. He was completely out of breath, and stopped just short of Snape’s desk, clutching the stitch in his chest and trying to speak.

Harry does what Severus has done all year: Snapped back at Remus' attempts at bullshitting. It's Remus' fear: his student is suspicious of him. Severus is just plain confused. He never thought James Potter's son would jump in to take his side on anything... he hasn't had anyone on his side all year, either. Not that thats unusual. Is this history repeating? A Potter defending Severus from Remus...? Nah. Not quite. (Not posting the original quote - because it's long. Remus says he met the mapmakers, and that they would have wanted to lure Harry out - but otherwise just tells him off like a good little teacher - leaving Harry feeling guilty.)

Harry didn’t dare look at Snape as they left his office. He, Ron and Lupin walked all the way back into the Entrance Hall before speaking. Then Harry turned to Lupin. ‘So you do know them.’ Harry asked directly. 'That's why Snape called for you. Your name is on it.' Lupin looked pained for a moment, like he was sucking on a sherbert lemon. ‘That is correct.’ said Lupin shortly. He glanced around the empty Entrance Hall and lowered his voice. ‘I helped make the map. It was a long time ago. Last I knew of its whereabouts it was confiscated by Mr Filch.’ he said not looking any less pained about having to say it. Ron looked amazed, but Harry's expression hardened as Lupin continued. ‘I don’t want to know how it fell into your possession. I am, however, astounded that you didn’t hand it in. Particularly after what happened the last time a student left information about the castle lying around.’ Harry was too keen for explanations to let him continue. ‘Why did you lie?’ Harry asked sharply. 'If Snape knows one of the names was you, why lie about it?' ‘Because …’ Lupin hesitated, for longer than was comfortable. ‘because... I didn't want you thinking I was suspicious.' Lupin smiled, chuckling slightly as he continued. 'Theres a dangerous man about, Harry! One who wants to lure you out of school-’ ‘One of your friends.’ said Harry, correcting him - and getting more indignant. 'Is his name on the map too? What about my father?' ‘...You're quite sharp, aren't you.’ he said slowly, his smile falling as he looked at Harry more seriously than ever before. 'Yes, they are. It was a long time ago, as I said.' 'Give it back.' Harry snapped, reaching for the map - but Lupin snatched it away. 'I can’t let you have it back, Harry.' Harry's jaw stiffened. Ron looked almost disgusted. 'You said his dad's, yeah? He has a right to it!' ‘I have a right to it too, as one of its makers!' Lupin stopped himself, as if catching that he sounded ridiculously petty. '...I covered for you, Harry - at risk to myself. You can't expect me to do it again. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the Dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them – gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks.’ He walked away quickly, leaving no room for a response. Harry felt far worse than he had at any point in Snape’s office. 'Sounds more like he was covering for himself...' Ron mumbled, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder.

I wanted a Harry hurt by Remus' lies. Harry never quite see's his teachers bad qualities while he is at school - because he is only 13. But if Snape being a snappy little bugger has one consequence: It's eroding Remus' projection of a confident man without secrets. Harry can sometimes ignore things he isn't directly interested in, but he is interested in both Remus and Snape. He wouldn't miss that. With some added defensive Ron, because Ron is a good lad.

There are many ways to spin this to be more overt, I took a very soft-handed approach that hasn't ended up changing too much. Baseline, I think: Remus would bend the knee to Severus more often than not. His one true goal is to look good - and Severus' goal is to not let him do that. Snape is BETTER at these games than Remus is. Remus has Dumbledore on his side to stop Snape from getting too loose-lipped, but we all know Snape is clever, witty, petty and vindictive. He finds ways around the rules and does his best to get information to the children that will keep them safe. The only thing holding him back is a slight fear of Lupin. If Remus were to confront Snape, beyond dragging him into a Dumbledore meeting, it would be a 'pretending to be nice, full of backhanded-compliments and cheeky remarks' argument in private. In Snapes office, so Remus can leave rather than have to demand Snape leaves. Because the moment Snape actually becomes angry he would leave - with one last biting remark, so he can feel like he had the upper hand.

....Is this like.... what you wanted? I sorta fell off the deep end... I feel like I've been on some sort of bender...

[thistlecatfics]

Okay, I want your opinion/meta on Sirius and Regulus' relationship. I I am so bad for them, BADD I ship them so much but it's impossible not to given the potential for angst, repressed sexual tension and shekspiarian tinged love that overflows their ship. I read your fanfic of them inspired by Taylor's song and it was very well done, I was very grateful to have found it, however I'm very interested to know your opinion given how unpopular this ship is.

Hello hello!

I started writing, and I realized I could write about these two forever whoops. This is going to a bit scattered, and hopefully I'll just keep adding to it.

Obvious content warnings for incest and underage! (though nothing is explicitly described here)

I don’t think this ship is unpopular at all! Looking at otp:true fics, the Sirius ships in order are: 1) Sirius/Remus, 2) Sirius/James, 3) Sirius/Snape, 4) Sirius/Hermione, 5) Sirius/Harry, 6) Sirius/Regulus. For Regulus it goes: 1) Regulus/James, 2) Regulus/Sirius. For an incest ship, that feels very high. 

They are so captivating! 

"I hated the lot of them: my parents with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal... my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them... that's him. He was younger than me, and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded."

My idiot brother, soft enough to believe them! “Soft enough!” What a way to describe your brother. Sirius can be so cruel in his words when he wants to be but calling him ‘soft’?? There’s so much tenderness there even when he’s trying to be defended about it. 

I have a number of different versions of them in my head, given that I’m not engaging in a critical reading of the text with regard to their relationship and more of the fact that I’m an incest survivor who has projected onto them as needed throughout the past twenty years. I like canon compliance and being rooted in the text, but I also recognize that most of my impressions of them are more about me and less about the text. 

I love many different versions, but I will say I cannot stand the newly popular fanon (especially in Jegulus circles) where Regulus wants to leave but nobly sacrifices himself to stay and be the heir so Sirius is able to leave the family. 

Regulus and Sirius love each other more than anything. Sirius builds into the core of his identity that he is Regulus’s protector. (When Regulus rejects that protection, he is crushed.) Regulus builds into the core of his identity that he and Sirius are one unit, a soul in two bodies. (When Sirius builds an autonomous identity outside of the family, he is crushed.) They are never quite able to forgive the other (because they are never quite able to forgive themselves for needing the other so much.) 

Here are a few contradictory thoughts and headcanons and ideas: 

Regulus is Walburga’s golden child, and it’s not uncommon for the golden child to be the one who is sexually abused while the scapegoat is physically and emotionally abused. The intimacy of sexual abuse as a marker of goodness and specialness within the abusive family system.  

Regulus is the initiator. The hypersexual kid. His mother uses him to make herself feel good, and Regulus wants to do the same for Sirius, because his mother loves him, and he loves Sirius, and that’s what you do when you love someone so much. 

And Sirius resists… just long enough that he can tell himself he resisted. 

And Sirius steals wine from the adults to share with Regulus so he has something to blame for giving into his desires again and again. 

As he gets older and spends more time with the Potters and in Gryffindor, his behavior with Regulus becomes something he associates with the awfulness of his family which he is trying desperately to reject. 

Regulus tries to initiate. Sirius is quite cruel in his rejection. 

(He returns to Regulus’s bedroom later that night, and he is cruel in how he embraces Regulus, but Regulus is thrilled to be used.) 

Sirius runs away, and Regulus can’t forgive him. Sirius has sex with random older men in Hogsmeade and keeps saying Regulus’s name. Regulus starves himself Seeker-skinny and that’s something to focus on, a disciplining of his desires. 

Then, maybe that’s it for them. Or maybe they come together in the castle by random happenstance or at a wedding of some politically neutral pureblood family, and they both carry too much hurt and a family legacy of cruelty, and they have sex to try to punish themselves and punish the other, and then that’s it for them, because Regulus dies and doesn’t tell Sirius when he defects. They each know that they love the other, but they can't believe that they themselves are loved.

Or maybe, Sirius is the initiator. He holds enough power over Regulus by age and by status of being the heir and by size that it can’t be considered anything other than abuse. Regulus can’t say no to Sirius. Sirius as bully, Sirius as predator. At Hogwarts, this behavior extends to Snape, and Regulus and Snape find each other as two boys who love/hate/desire/fear Sirius. 

Or maybe, the sexual intimacy feels like a natural evolution of their intimacy. Two very sheltered boys growing up in a scary house together which is entirely unsuitable for children. Their emotional worlds only consist of each other, and they sleep in each other’s beds, and the boundaries between one body and another feel impossibly thin. When Sirius is sorted into Gryffindor, it feels like the first tear in their interwoven body. Their sexual behavior towards each other exists as something innocent which can't survive in the real world of an impending war.

I'm feral for these two in every universe <3

My Regulus/Sirius fics: 

what if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind? (1k, after Sirius runs away)

Duty (2k, Regulus Black character study)

My writing on incest and being an incest survivor:

Talking about Incest in Public

[sugatrapp]

「 In the Dark 」

•─────────────•°•❀•°•─────────────•

Pairings: (Platonic) Severus Snape x Female Reader

Summary: “A recently graduated Hogwarts student from Slytherin (and this is in Harry Potter's 5th or 6th year) has Dumbledore ask her to join the Order of Phoenix (because she's a legilimens and occlumens) and she says yes. Dumbledore has her go undercover as a Deatheater. She was one of Snape's fav students, really gifted in Potions. Snape comforts her and everything when she gets the dark mark and helps her with the stress of being a double agent”

Warnings: Unnamed female reader ~ Description of violence

A/N: This request was brought to you by @cant-take-my-eyes-off-u . Thank you so much for your patience! Procrastination is obviously my strong suit😭

AO3

Masterlist

Ko-Fi

•─────────────•°•❀•°•─────────────•

The day that marked the completion of her studies felt like a chapter finally ending. There were no more long nights of studying, no more anxiety inducing exams, and no more worrying about oversleeping because of said exams. She was finally an adult free to expand her horizons and pursue a career.

That’s where her problems started.

Saying farewell to Hogwarts—to the friends she made along the way—was bittersweet. They vowed to keep in touch with each other, but their paths paved in different directions. Many left their magical pasts behind with stars in their eyes, eager for a fresh, normal start. Others decided to stay in the wizarding world to expand their knowledge and create names for themselves. Stranded in the middle of a vast ocean was her, watching everything she ever knew drifting further from sight.

A week went by. Each day that passed made it more difficult for her to sit still as she waited for something to happen and give her answers. She hoped for a solution to fall into her lap as she packed up her dorm room, preparing for her journey back to her parents’ home in America. On the day of her departure, she received a knock on her door from headmaster Dumbledore himself. Her purpose: to join the Order of the Phoenix. Her alibi: become Severus Snape’s potions assistant.

The operation seemed easy enough as potions was a familiar headache. Her task: to infiltrate the snake’s den and become a double agent. Her heart fell.

Dumbledore’s expression morphed into a pained, deadly seriousness. “I wish that there was another alternative, but dire situations call for dire means."

Those words were the anchors that fueled her will.

Crack, crack, crunch.

The sound of her bones breaking caused wave after wave of nausea to crawl up her throat. She shivered and trembled. Sweat clung to her scorching skin. Her screams did nothing to halt the torture that resembled drawing and quartering. Even as darkness tugged at her consciousness, she continued pushing false memories to the forefront of her mind.

She clenched her eyes shut. Her senses made the situation more real. His frigid hand gripped her left forearm. The piercing stares of the silent witnesses dug into her bare skin. The stony floor caressing her balled-up form was her only comfort. It’s almost over, she thought behind the wall even though it had been over an hour. Her brain was pounding against her skull. His mental bombardment was relentless and unforgiving.

Around the two-hour mark, the pain in her body subsided. She gasped for air in relief. The dull, wandering sting on her forearm and feet shuffling away from her let know that it was over.

She was now a Death Eater.

She didn’t unravel from her ball when the Dark Lord addressed the room. Neither did she move when several sets of footsteps crossed the room’s threshold and faded down the hall. A sudden sensation over her shoulders received a harsh flinch. When she realized that it was a cloak infused with a familiar scent, only then did she allow herself to sob.

“What,” she hiccupped, “what did I do?”

•─────────────•°•❀•°•─────────────•

Two weeks went by. Night fell on the castle. For the third time that week, she skipped dinner to grade papers within the confines of her chambers. But as she sat at her desk scanning over the same parchment, paranoia and phantom pain continued to eat away at her. Instead, she checked the extra charms placed on her doors and windows. She paced back and forth. She wrung her hands together to stop them from trembling, but nothing slowed her mind.

It was too much. Everything was too much.

A series of knocks on her door almost sent her to an early grave.

Is it him? She thought, gripping the handle of her wand. Has he found out and sent someone for me?

“It’s me,” a muffled, yet unmistakable drawl spoke.

She took a deep breath before undoing her security measures and swinging open the door. One look at his face was enough to bring the emotions of that night back in full force. She collapsed in his arms, staining the front of his frock coat with salty tears. He tensed, his hand hovering for a moment before placing it lightly on her back, rubbing slightly.

“I-I’m sorry,” she whispered while pulling away. Wiping her eyes, she stepped back to allow him inside, watching as a plate piled with food and two steaming mugs floated after him. They met the coffee table with dull clinks as the pair sat down on the sofa in front of the roaring fireplace. She thanked him after he handed her the plate and began to eat while he sipped his tea.

For a while, a pregnant silence filled the room except for the crackling from the fireplace and chinking. Eventually he spoke.

“Do you remember the first time you made a potion in my class?”

The corner of her lips twitched.

“How could I forget? My hands have never cramped that much in my life.”

The ordeal had gone atrociously. Before potions became second nature to her, it was like learning gibberish with a ticking time bomb strapped to her chest. Turns out that having someone looming over her shoulder was a disaster waiting to happen. One minute she was studying the textbook, glancing between the bubbling cauldron, and the ingredients to be sure that she was following the steps. The next minute the cauldron was overflowing and spitting black sludge over her entire workstation. Her detention of scrubbing said cauldron along with the rest was inevitable and no less stressful.

“I must admit that the cauldrons have never looked better either.”

She chuckled for the first time in a while. They sipped from their cups as the room fell into a more comfortable silence.

“Will we be okay?”

He sighed, avoiding eye contact.

“I don’t know. I wish I could give you a definitive answer, but I can’t.”

Hearing her doubts voiced out loud didn’t bring much comfort, but the contrary wouldn’t be much better. She did take small comfort in the fact that she wasn’t facing them alone. After finishing off their refreshments, he stood up.

“I suppose I should be going, it’s rather late.”

Ignoring the pang in her chest, she agreed and went to clear away the dishes.

“Unless” he added, almost as if he could sense her disappointment, “you'd be interested in assisting me with a sleeping draught? Of course, you don’t have—”

“Sounds like a plan,” she wasted no time slipping on her cloak, a wave of her wand tidying up their mess. “I may need a double to sleep a wink tonight.”

He humored her with a hint of a smile before leading the way to his office.

[dark-elf-writes]

Thinking more on Fawn Spots but specifically thinking about Harry at like fifteen who can’t sleep because he can’t get past the knowledge that Tom Riddle is in his head.

He’s in the kitchen trying to keep his hands steady and his movements quiet enough not to wake his family (a futile hope if he’s honest. Not much goes on in the house that at least one of the three resident demigods doesn’t hear) as he makes himself a cup of tea, remembering how Hermione also demanded he drink some whenever the nightmares got to him. Would it work when the nightmare was inside of him? It was better than anything else he had come up with or Gods forbid Snape’s occlumency “lessons” that always left him with a splitting headache and the feeling of being scraped clean somewhere deep and personal.

He hears the shuffling in his parents’ room just as the water boils and pulls down a second mug. If neither of them were going to sleep it was only fair that Harry shared.

His mum is standing at the island when he turns with two steeping mugs in hand and the two of them move to the living room without words. Andy pulls down the throw from the back of the couch to drape over their legs as they settle together on the couch.

She doesn’t ask. She doesn’t need to.

Harry tells her anyway.

“My scar is a rune,” He says, looking down at his mug rather than at her. “It means among other things ‘the seat of the soul’”

(Hermione had watched him with wide eyes that day he fled from Ancient Runes, horror flooding him so much that it felt like he was drowning. He didn’t know how to tell her what he had realized. Didn’t know how to admit it to himself. So he had stayed silent for over a year.)

“You are the person in control of your life, Harry.” His mother’s voice is soft in the dark of the night. As soft as the snowflakes falling outside the window.

He doesn’t know if he believes her. Doesn’t know if he can.

“I am not and never was Hera,” She says, reaching out to rest a hand on his leg through the blanket. “And you, Harry Cyprin, are not Tom Riddle.”

He can still feel the snake’s mind slotting in with his own. Can taste Mr. Weasley’s blood in his mouth. He takes a gulp off the too hot tea to burn the memory away.

“Someone should tell him that, I reckon.” Harry manages to rasp out through the pain and the lump in his throat. “Bastard’s less agreeable than Hera was.”

The hand on his leg squeezes. Once. Twice. Grounding. Steady. Glowing with golden light that illuminated them both.

(He thought his mum would have made a damn good Gryffindor and Bibi a rather excellent example of Slytherin not meaning evil. He wondered sometimes if their aura matching the house colors was a coincidence or some act of Fate beyond his understanding.

Luna might know.)

“I’ll do more than just tell him,” She swore.

Harry believed her. It terrified him.

A mother’s love had defeated Tom Riddle once at terrible cost. What would he do when faced with Andy’s wrath? What would his next defeat take from Harry?

He didn’t answer her, simply shifting on the couch until he was leaned against her side like he did when he was far younger. He let her warmth and the scent of tea soothe his mind in a way that all of Snape’s snapped orders to “clear” it never could.

Bibi finds them asleep on the couch in the morning, eyes full of understanding and love as they wake them with gentle words and the promise of breakfast.

[macmatsi]

Albus Dumbledore and the Destruction of the Parent

Part 1 : Laying the groundwork

In one of the final chapters of the Harry Potter series, when Harry finally gets to meet Dumbledore again after his sacrifice, the extent to which the past haunts our favourite headmaster is finally revealed to our hero. Indeed: not only does Dumbledore fully confirm to the boy that he was a neglectful parent (when he was put in charge of his extremely sensitive little sister after both of their parents had left the house), but he also even suggests/insinuates that he may very well have been the one out of Grindelwald and Aberworth to have accidently struck her with his hand and caused her tragic death during their duel.

One question that readers may immediately ask themselves is why the old wizard is telling any of this to Harry? Indeed: by this point in the story it has almost been a year since the headmaster has been killed at the hands of Severus Snape, and Dumbledore cannot possibly still hold on to the notion or hope that he will be able to influence Harry. His complete acceptance of this fact can be shown straight after this confession when he states wholeheartedly that Harry’s choice of staying here or of returning to the Living World and trying to defeat Voldemort is completely “up to him” (590). It is almost as if a responsibility or pressure has now been lifted from our mentor’s shoulders.

In an interview with the writer of the fifth Harry Potter movie, Michael Goldenberg states how one of the major themes that he noticed within the novels and which he then wanted to transfer into his own script was the increasing “need” for Dumbledore “to come down from his pedestal” so that Harry may be “disillusioned” and “grow up and take on the responsibilities that he needs to take on” (CMU). This particular moment in one’s life is described elsewhere as “when [one] see[s] the authority figure [that they’ve] either idealized or demonized revealed as more complicated” and/or “[realize] that [their] parents are normal, flawed human beings” (Salon). But the question of how it could be important for Harry’s maturation is never addressed.

In order to answer this question, one must properly define what Harry is facing within the story. Indeed: after but a cursory glance at the scholarship surrounding the series, it is clear that “[our main protagonist’s] battle with Voldemort may be seen as an internal conflict between aspects of his own psyche, culminating in Voldemort’s defeat and the repudiation of those aspects he represents” (Rosegrant, 11). Moreover, the fact that JK Rowling has chosen teenagehood as the setting/backdrop for this conflict equally should not be seen or interpreted as a coincidence. As Call and McAlpine go on to state: “Much of Harry’s journey through adolescence is a struggle to reject the part of himself that links him to Lord Voldemort” (Call/McAlpine, 76). This link is finally broken however when Voldemort inadvertently curses himself after Harry does a rebound spell.

What is especially significant is that not once in the story does Harry play into his enemy’s game (even when he is tempted). In the end, it is this very difference between the two characters – how one will never submit to the lowest depths of trying to kill the other – which ultimately decides/dictates the winner. You may naturally wonder, then, where does Dumbledore fit in all of this? Indeed: if the main battle of the story can only be fought inside/within Harry’s own psyche, then what even is Dumbledore’s role/function/purpose towards our main character? And, what’s more, how does this go beyond the fact that he will almost always just be accepted as an “influential parental figure” (Reynolds, 272)? In other words: how does Dumbledore’s ‘status’ as a parent have any sort of connection with Voldemort himself (- the very thing that Harry must defeat)?

This question becomes even more important when one observes the specific studies that have already been made on the character. Indeed: it is almost unanimously agreed amongst scholars that the fact that Dumbledore chooses to withhold information from Harry concerning Voldemort and the Prophecy that “either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives” must mean that the need to defeat Voldemort belongs to Dumbledore and not Harry. In her paper titled ‘Doubting Dumbledore’, Jenny McDougal describes the old wizard’s manipulation and deceit towards Harry as proof of a “larger endgame” at work (McDougal, 162). Alicia Wilson-Metzger goes on to state that Dumbledore wants to “[shape Harry] into [his] ultimate weapon in the war against Lord Voldemort” (WM, 15). Here, Voldemort is clearly separated from Harry’s psyche and stands out as a character of his own.

However is this the only possible interpretation? Indeed: if we are truly to see Voldemort as just another part of Harry’s psyche – as I hope to have already demonstrated to you within this essay – then it is only natural that the Prophecy’s true intended message should change as well. Now, instead of talking about actual death, what the Prophecy could actually be saying is that in order for Harry’s “soul” to remain “whole and untarnished” he must kill or destroy that Dark part within himself (Los, 33). With this new perspective, it might then equally be possible for us to consider Dumbledore’s secrecy towards Harry in a new light and even start to be able to justify it. Now, instead of “offering [up]” Harry “as a sacrificial lamb to Voldemort” by withholding information from him until the very last moment, what Dumbledore could in actual fact be doing is protecting the boy from knowledge that might otherwise have a negative impact on his growing-up process (WM, 294). In other words: Dumbledore might actually be carrying out his parenting duties.

This may help to explain why it is so important for Dumbledore to come down from his pedestal in order for Harry to mature properly. Indeed: in progressively removing/detaching himself from our main hero, Dumbledore is essentially trying to break away at the “great” and “infallible” image that Harry has created for himself of this old man, all the while being fully aware that it might cost him the affection of someone that he holds very dear (Woodford, 71). By the end of the story, when Dumbledore finally confesses to the boy wizard about his troubled past, one ultimately gets a sense that the headmaster’s job as a parent is finally complete. Now, the old man has completely unveiled himself before Harry, and the latter’s romanticized image is broken.

Part 2 : Raising the question

Now that we have established how Dumbledore carries out his parental role towards our favourite student, the question will naturally become why the old man even chooses to go through with this process at all / in the very first place (since as I have already previously stated one of its innate/ultimate requirements/characteristics will invariably be that Dumbledore shall be obliged to gradually separate himself from someone that he self-admittedly “[loves]” and “[cares] about” (Book 5, 772)). And so in a way one could say that there is not much the poor, old headmaster could possibly stand to gain from following through with it. This is a particular question that has never been asked before, and which I would specifically like to address within my essay.

In the first book of the series, there is a scene where Harry chooses to sneak off during the middle of the night under his Invisibility Cloak so that he might have a glimpse of his dead parents in the Mirror of Erised (an object which is said to display/show the “deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts” (Book 1, 229)). However, after the little boy is found by Dumbledore, the two characters hold a small conversation on the dangers of wanting too much out of life and by the end of it the former is asked by the latter “not to go looking for [the object] again” (230). But as Harry is just about to exit the room however, a curiosity seems to wake up inside him and he dares to ask his headmaster what the Mirror would display if he himself were ever to look into it. As readers we may see this as our first good opportunity to learn about Dumbledore, a character which to that point we have not been given much information about.

Much to our surprise and dismay however, it immediately becomes evident to us that the old wizard is already well-educated on matters of self-protection from potentially revealing sources or leaks of information to others. Dumbledore manages to use his wit and cleverness in order to successfully avoid having to properly answer Harry’s question: “I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks” (Ibis). His insincerity with this quippy remark is even spelt out to us later on by the author herself when she makes sure to include: “It was only when he was back in bed that it struck Harry that Dumbledore might not have been quite truthful” (Ibis). However since by this point the headmaster still represents the little boy’s hero, this action is equally justified by our narrator within the very same sentence on the terms that it had been “quite a personal question” (Ibis).

Harry and the readers unfortunately have to wait until the end of the series – during that famous confession scene when Dumbledore wishes he could go back in time after having  “[neglected] the only two members of [his] family left” – in order to finally get an honest answer (Book 7, 586). In the end, it is the very idea that our headmaster wants exactly the same thing as Harry – i.e. the notion of having a full family – which begins the process of humanifying him in our minds. For the first time in the whole story, Dumbledore releases himself from this parental role/position of superiority that he has always and dutifully exercised over Harry. Now, he is not the one to give advice or of focusing on the other’s weaknesses anymore. Both characters are to be seen on the same terms and/or equal grounds from this moment on.

What can these passages both at the beginning and at the end of the story reveal to the readers? Namely the extent to which a feeling of parental responsibility towards Harry can govern/control Dumbledore’s own words and actions. It will be so strong in fact that Dumbledore will not even be able open up about himself to his favourite student until he absolutely knows for sure that the boy will be mature enough to take/hear it (so as to not hinder his development process). This is why Dumbledore’s process of stepping down from his pedestal within the eyes of Harry Potter cannot be done too early but must be done gradually. Harry himself only understands the need for such a process until the very end of the story, which explains why as the books go by the reader will often find him to be getting more and more angry and disillusioned with the headmaster.

And so now I have arrived to the main challenge of my thesis/essay. If I want to answer the question of why the character of Dumbledore feels such a need to serve or act as Harry’s parent within the novels, then I will invariably have to try and separate or detach him from that very association in the first place (in order to have a chance of unearthing the ‘human’ underneath). This means that any decision or utterance that our favourite headmaster has made which could possibly be connected or tied to his role/function as a parent will eventually have to be discarded from my analysis. Hence why I have chosen ‘Albus Dumbledore and the Destruction of the Parent’ as the title.

[timdrakemybeloved]

How has anyone picked Dumbledore, Hagrid, or McGonagall?

Dumbledore was always more concerned over Voldemort, even before war actually broke out. He spent all his time with Harry manipulating or using him. He didn’t take more reasonable precautions for preventing bad things from happening to Harry because he needed those things to happen to Harry. In addition to that, Dumbledore knew that Harry was abused, he knew he was condemning him to ten long and dark years, and he just didn’t give a shit because he had other priorities.

Hagrid and Harry were friends, but Hagrid was not responsible enough. In the first book alone, he used illegal magic against his cousin, both illegal because he wasn’t allowed to use magic and because he wasn’t allowed to use magic on muggles. He did this because Dumbledore’s name was maligned, not even because he saw the way Harry was treated. And he apparently didn’t tell anyone how Harry was treated. He took the philosopher’s stone out in front of Harry when it should have been secret and then he left Harry alone to get a drink. He didn’t tell Harry about platform 9 3/4 and he didn’t take Harry back to his house, Harry had to go home from London to Surrey alone. And before someone says something like oh, he doesn’t usually introduce kids to the magical world, why would he have known to say that, especially since Harry’s a halfblood. First of all, Harry was raised by magic hating muggles, and Hagrid knew he didn’t know anything about wizards or magic or even how his parents died. Second, if Hagrid was so inexperienced, why would Dumbledore send him alone other than to keep Harry confused?

And McGonagall was respected, but she dismissed Harry and his concerns multiple times. I’m not sure I can remember much of their interactions, actually, but Harry went to get about the philosopher’s stone and about his blood quill lines and detentions with umbridge. Harry felt she wasn’t taking him seriously with the stone and put himself in danger to protect it. He had reasonable concerns: he knew Snape was threatening Quirrel, he knew he knew the only obstacle Snape had was Fluffy and Dumbledore and he knew that Hagrid told a random stranger how to get past Fluffy and Dumbledore was gone. If McGonagall had sat him down and told him to go through all that, she would have realized that someone was a threat to the stone, she could have inferred that it was Quirrel, and she could have laid Harry’s fears to rest by telling him she would look into it. And she didn’t even hear Harry out about Umbridge when she thought she was enough of a danger that Harry shouldn’t antagonize her and should keep his head down.

Really, Sirius was the only one who did anything parental. Molly sent him sweaters and fudge and let him stay with them during the summers sometimes, which isn’t anything another parent wouldn’t do for the best friend of their child. And really there aren’t any other adults influential enough in Harry’s life to be his parental figure. Sirius was Harry’s parent, which is talked about in these two posts by @jmagnabo92

[tumbling-darkling]

The boy who lived and the professor that didn’t (for the most part)

AO3

During Harry's second year at Hogwarts, a strange and unexpected man starts teaching his Defence Against the Dark Arts class.

(A Danny Phantom X Harry Potter crossover)

Chapter 1

Harry took a seat in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, glancing over to Ron who sat beside him and then scanning the classroom for their new DA professor. He already met the man in Diagon Alley, blonde and very much interested in only himself. Harry shivered as he remembered being pushed towards him as people took pictures of the famous wizard and the boy who lived.

At least it wasn’t worse than a head of the dark lord growing out of the back of the professor's neck.

Well- Harry did thumb through some of the textbooks before classes started. He absolutely agreed with Hermione who was very vocal about the books- they didn’t actually seem to teach anything. Just spoke about the ‘many adventures of Gilderoy Lockhart’.

Maybe this will just end up being an easy class.

The door slammed open 15 minutes past the start of class, startling the students as they swiveled their heads to look at the newcomer, expecting Gilderoy Lockhart.

Instead a tall man with a slim frame and hunched posture strode into the room. He had messy black hair pulled in a very horrible and tangled loose bun with the remaining dreads lazily dangling at the man's shoulders, his chin and cheeks covered in unshaven stubble. His robe was creased and torn, his hat loosely hanging from his hand and his sleeves pushed almost all the way up his arms. What really caught people’s attention was those eyes. Unnaturally clear and bright icy blue, so blue that even in the bright light they seemed to slightly glow.

He quickly pulled down his sleeves as he walked past the students towards the front of the room, grumbling slightly under his breath about something Harry couldn’t catch. He tossed the hat aside, muttering more loudly about how ‘wizard hats are so stupid and impractical I’m not wearing that garbage’ before he turned towards the class.

“My name is Fenton- er Professor Fenton I guess. Since I’ll be teaching you about…” he glanced down at the podium he stood in front of, crouching a little as if looking for something before straightening back up. “Defense… Against the… Dark… Arts,” he said slowly and not very confidently. Then he whispered again to himself but just loud enough for some students to pick up, “they see me fight one god damn ghost and suddenly I’m an expert on all dark magic entities? I think I’ll fight Dumbledore after this.” He straightened a little, eyes looking over the classes.

Harry did not like those eyes lingering on him for half a second longer than the others. He didn’t like this professor looking at him at all.

Something just didn’t feel right.

“Alright, any questions?”

A hand immediately went up, and Harry knew exactly who it belonged to.

“Uh- yes miss-?”

“Hermione Granger. Wasn’t our professor supposed to be Gilderoy Lockhart?”

“Yeah- that guy. He’s a phoney.”

The class went silent before someone yelled out, “WHAT?”

“Guy went around, found Wizards and Witches that did cool things, made them forget it then took all the credit. Tried to take my credit and I hit him a little too hard. Now I’m here taking his place. It’s all over the news, you know. You can read the exaggerated details in there. Anything else?”

The same hand went up.

Professor Fenton sighed, “yes?”

“Why were you 15 minutes late? Shouldn’t professors be on time? And why do you look like you crawled out of the forbidden forest.”

“I fought a ghost. Then got lost,” Fenton deadpanned.

The class went silent.

Fenton then turned around, “well if that’s all, let’s get started with something I know a lot about. What do you already know about Ghosts?”

-

-

-

“You’re seriously more afraid of Professor Fenton than Professor Snape?” Hermione asked Ron. “He’s not even mean! Sure he’s grumpy but he doesn’t beat down every question I ask him! He even seems to be glad I’m asking questions! Unlike Professor Snape who just treats us like idiots for not knowing something.”

“Sure- he’s not mean or cruel but… he just freaks me out. Like how he just stares sometimes at empty walls! Or how the room temperature always drops the moment he seems to take a single step into the room! I can’t even hear his footsteps when he walks! He’s bloody freaky is what he is!”

“Well I for one am glad he’s our Professor! Imagine having a phony for a professor! Though he talks a lot about ghosts. Ghosts can’t cause people harm. At most they give a little scare but it’s not like they could cause terrible damage.”

“What about those ectoplasm based ones he was talking about? The solid ones?” Harry asked.

“Rare and unlikely. Ectoplasm doesn’t form in the magical world, Harry! The stuff that leaks through and hangs in the air is only enough to allow ghosts like Nick or Myrtle to hang around in harmless ways.”

“But he said he fought a ghost before he arrived in class! And he looked really beat up!”

“He said he got lost too! Maybe he just stumbled across a guard dog like Fluffy and made up something about ghosts!”

“What if it’s like the last professor though? What if he’s looking for another secret object in Hogwarts walls?” Harry hissed softly, “Ron is right that he just has a sense of oddness about him! I just don’t trust him!”

“Harry, you’re just paranoid from last year. Professor Fenton is normal. Now pick up your pace, we’re going to be late for our next class!”

-

-

-

Professor Fenton glanced down at Harry, then back at Professor McGonagall, “he has what with me?”

“Detention. You see, Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley caused a bit of a fuss by driving a flying car in plain sight of several muggles, and risked exposing the magical world. As such, his punishment has been detention. I trust you can find some fitting work for him to do as he reflects on his actions?”

Fenton crosses his arms, his mouth tightening slightly into a grimace as his fingers slightly tapped his own arms. “This won’t be every night, will it?” He asked.

“No, we will be switching supervisors for a few weeks but you may also need to supervise Mr. Weasley sometime before then.”

Fenron let out a sigh of defeat, “well- alright. I’ll take care of it then.”

Professor McGonagall gave a curt nod before turning stiffly and walking off. Professor Fenton scratched at the back of his neck as he watched her walk off, then glanced down at Harry, those eyes seeming to search him for… something. Then that stern look relaxed into a lopsided grin, “So you were the one that made that stuck up ministry trip over their hats and scramble around in blind panic! I say, hats off to you young Potter!” He laughed.

Harry blinked in confusion at the shift in mood, then Fenton patted him on the back, “hey, no need to look so freaked out! I’m not gonna bite ya!” He began walking forward, and it took Harry an extra second to realize that the professor was moving and he should follow. “Oh, wait you probably are a little freaked out, huh? I guess my mood could have been a bit better this morning, I was just a little flabbergasted today. I was kinda rushed into this position, you know.” He shrugged, his hands shoved into his cloak’s pockets. He didn’t really walk like any of the other Hogwarts professors. He had this relaxed saunter, like he was more of a visiting relative than a staff member. “Say, let’s say your ‘punishment’ will just be helping me bring some books from the library to my quarters. There’s a lot I need to run through and a single trip would make all the difference.”

Harry nodded, finding it hard to keep up with the man's long strides. “So… you don’t like the ministry of magic?” Harry asked.

Professor Fenton huffed in annoyance, “not one bit. They are almost worse than observants!” Harry had no idea what those were. Another level of magic government? “They try to control every little thing. Don’t expose magic to the normal world. Don’t use magic to make technology without permission. Don’t use magic to save muggle children if people are watching.” His said in a mocking tone, “they have so many rules that are outdated or stupid. Never trust a government, kid! Especially a magical one!”

“What are… observants?”

Fenton glanced down at Harry, “oh those stuck up jerks? They are like the government of the ghost realm. Really annoying. Unlike the Ministry of Magic, they actually know how to find me!” He laughed.

“Ghosts have governments?”

“Oh yeah! They have more of a monarchy, the observants are like hermit wizards that only step in when they believe the world is in peril. Meanwhile the rest falls on the shoulders of the Ghost King.”

Harry frowned, “I’ve never read about that in the textbooks. Hermione says that ghosts are just harmless beings formed from souls that aren’t ready to leave the mortal realm.”

“Well she’s half right. There’s different kinds of ghosts, like Sir Nicolas and the Bloody Baron. They are more like echoes. Souls that cling desperately to this world but didn’t have enough ectoplasm to become a fully solid ectoplasmic being. They won’t leave for the infinite realms until they are ready, though many believe they are trapped here forever. More solid ghosts form in a similar way but are exposed to more ectoplasm, but rarely show up because natural portals to the infinite realms are sparse and in between. Well until about a decade ago.”

“Infinite Realms? Natural Portals?” Harry felt like his head was going to explode.

“Well, there should be some books about that in the muggle section.. Though some wizards would say it’s all garbage because muggles discovered and studied it. Just look up my name under the author and you should find some.”

“Oh… wait- did you write them? Is that why you know so much about ghosts?”

Professor Fenton barked out a loud laugh, doubling over as he clutched his sides, “Ah! No! No, I didn’t write them! My parents did!” He cackled. “Ah, yeah but I did learn from them. And a bit of field work. Tell Miss Granger to check them out too, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind having something to read. She reminds me of my sister in that way.” He stopped in front of the library doors, “Aha! I knew we would find this place eventually!”

Harry looked at Professor Fenton in bewilderment, “you didn’t know where we were going?!”

Fenton shook his head and shot him another grin, “nope! I’ve been constantly getting lost in these dumb halls. This place constantly moves and I absolutely hate it. Even the Infinite Realms make more sense than this castle!”

Harry stuttered, “If the infinite realms is where ghosts go, isn’t that like… the afterlife? You’ve been to the afterlife?”

Professor Fenton lazily shrugged and opened the doors to the library, “yes and no. It’s all complicated. I’ll tell you a different time.”

Harry stood there for a few more seconds as his brain tried to catch up with the information, and once he managed to close his mouth he chased after the Professor.

-

-

-

Harry glanced around the Professors room as he followed after him, arms filled with books that seemed to suspiciously be only about the Dark Arts. He’d never been to a professor's living quarters, at most he had been in some offices. Even so, it was not at all what he imagined a wizard's living quarters would look like.

First off, there seemed to be technology. He recognized a coffee machine on a low table, but it wasn’t plugged into anything. There was an odd box that looked like a slightly smaller television, it’s screen black and wires sticking out of it attached to a rectangular box with a lot of buttons on top of it and a small round device. There was also a radio, and a huge telescope leaning out the largest window. As Harry looked, he began to notice spaceships literally in every corner of the room. Different kinds as well, some would even move and blast off. The most amazing part was the roof of his room. It was almost exactly like the great hall as it rose into dark nothingness, but the stars were MUCH brighter and all the constellations had been traced out, some brighter than others. For someone who knew a lot about ghosts, he seemed to really like space. Then there were also some odd things thrown around, like a very weird looking thermos. Or a metal… boomerang?

“Just place them over here, Harry!” Fenton called as he dropped his pile of books onto a couch in the corner. Harry did as he was told, placing the books down a little more gently than the professor did.

“Professor… how did you get these things to work? Technology usually… explodes around magic,” Harry asked.

“Oh! Well it’s because I power them myself!” Professor Fenton chirped. “They don’t work the same way as regular technology. Again, I recommend checking out some of the notes in the Fentons books, they have a lot of stuff that works in the magical realm.”

“Why would you need it though? Doesn’t magic make up for a lot of technology?” Harry asked.

“Ah, but that’s where you are wrong you see! There is nothing in the magical world that is equivalent to the coffee machine!”

Harry blinked, “... what.”

“It’s a very important machine, Harry. You will depend greatly on it once you need to stay up for an entire week. But! It seems our time together has come to an end. Thanks for your help, Harry, and if McGonagall asks, tell her I made you scrub toilets or something,” he winked.

Harry grinned back, heading towards the doorway to go find Ron and Hermione. He closed the door behind and the moment it clicked shut, he saw a flash appear from under the door.

He paused slightly, but shrugged. Maybe a comet passed by on the enchanted roof of his room. He then headed down the halls to find his friends.

-

-

-

“Not normally invited?” Harry asked.

Hermione nodded, “Ghosts throw death day parties like birthday parties, but rarely do they ever invite living people!”

“I see, so Sir Nick really wanted us to be there,” Harry pondered as the trio entered the party area. He immediately was hit with an awful stench, nearly gagging before he had to swallow it as Sir Nicholas noticed their arrival and approached swiftly with the widest smile they had ever seen on his face.

“Harry! Ron! Hermione! You all made it! Oh this brings such joy to my cold, dead heart!”

“Glad to see you as well, Sir Nick,” Harry struggled not to gag on the smell.

“Say, why do ghosts even celebrate the day they died? Isn’t that… like a very traumatic experience you would rather not remember?” Ron somehow managed to ask.

“Well, ghosts like to celebrate it to commodirate a start to a new chapter of our afterlife!” He paused, glancing across the room for a split second, “most ghosts that is, and the death day isn’t to remind us of our death. It more serves to encourage us to look forward! No one really wants to remember how we died. Never a pretty picture.”

Harry followed Nicholas’s gaze for the split second glance, then noticed a ghost he had never seen before. He ignored the smell (they would have to ask about that later) and nudged Hermione, pointing at the ghost, “hey Hermione, have you ever seen that ghost around the castle before? I don’t remember seeing him from last year…”

The ghost in question seemed so much stranger than the rest, he had a brighter glow, where he should have had legs, merged into what seemed to be a ghostly tail, drifting lazily like caught in a breeze. Long hair whiter than snow itself drifted around like caught underwater, and bits that weren’t drifting were braided neatly and lost in the rest of it as it constantly moved. The ghost had purple skin, pointed ears, green freckles dotting his cheeks and long sharp fangs showing as he laughed at another ghost's joke. He dressed like a medieval lord, wearing a delicately detailed black and white tunic tucked into a braided belt circling his waist, his ghostly tail completely black. Thick white leather gloves covered both his hands as he waved them around while he spoke. A white cape hung off his shoulders, but when the cape occasionally drifted to show the inside, it was like the ghost had taken the night sky and attached it to the garment. Thick fur wrapped around his shoulders and long and sharp horns that looked like ice circled his head like a crown.

Toxic green eyes that had irises that seemed to swirl around the pupil glanced at the trio and Harry suddenly felt very very small.

“I… don’t know. I haven’t even heard of any ghost that looked like him before,” Hermione seemed like she was at a loss, probably scouting through her thoughts and memories for any trace or mention of the unfamiliar ghost.

Sir Nicholas cut in, “oh! That may be because King Phantom doesn’t live in this castle! He’s mainly only here to visit for the year!”

Ron gapped, “... did you say… king? Was he a king before he died?”

Sir Nicholas frowned, “no, of course not! He’s the king of all ghosts! King of the infinite realms! The one who defeated Pariah Dark in single combat barely a year after he died! The youngest and most beloved king we ghosts have had in such a very long time.”

“There’s a king of ghosts? And that’s him?” Harry asked.

“That’s what I just said, my dear boy. Keep up!”

“I don’t want to seem rude, Sir Nicholas but… why is he here?” Hermione gasped, “if he really is such a powerful and imposing figure, doesn’t he have a lot of duties to fulfil?”

“Well, he told us he was technically here on business but that it requires time and an investigation that could take a few months. So he could visit and celebrate with us from time to time! He’s a very relaxed man, I assure you. Here let me introduce you all to him! My Liege! I have some friends you absolutely must meet!”

The King looked over and smiled widely, “friends, you say?” His voice echoed more than the other ghosts, seeming to carry across the room as he spoke. He then blinked in surprise and turned to Nick, “Sir Nicholas… you realize these three are still amongst the living?”

“Why of course! Harry is the Boy Who Lived! The first to survive the death spell!” Sir Nicholas said quite proudly.

The King drifted down towards the three, causing Ron to slightly flinch at his approach, his hands clasped together as worry seemed to etch on his face, “well, most ghosts don’t have a very good sense of smell or taste, right? Which is why we have all the rotting food out?”

“Yes?” Sir Nicholas still didn’t seem to catch on.

King Phantom held out his hand, producing clothing hanger clips made purely of ice, “The living can still very much smell and taste, and I don’t think it’s exactly the smell of roses and lavender.”

Sir Nicholas blinked, “oh. Oh! Oh Harry and friends, I apologize for forgetting such a detail!”

Harry, Ron and Hermione all graciously accept the clips, pinning them on their noses to escape the horrid smell. Then Hermione turned towards the Ghost King with a glint in her eyes, “wait- how did you do that? Ghosts aren’t this solid- and they definitely can’t use magic!”

Phantom chuckled, drifting back into the air as he pointed to the crown of ice horns on his head, “Well first off, I’m the king so I get some bonuses. As well as not all ghosts work the same. You should try listening to that Dark Arts professor of yours when he talks about ghosts. He’s quite knowledgeable about all things not living.”

“But- but years of documentation and research-!” Hermione tried to argue before the King tutted.

“Information is constantly changing and growing, something that seems pretty constant could change in seconds and turn your whole world upside down. Not to mention, many different types of ghosts like myself only became more common recently. Before, most of us were confined to the infinite realms, only ghosts like Sir Nicholas forming for many centuries and the different kinds rarely slipped out.”

“Well-, what changed?” Hermione challenged.

King Phantom sported a playful grin, “I d̶͙͉̓̓i̷̢̩̬̘̟̽ę̴̘̲̹̤͌̊d̸̢̳̞̄.”

He then turned and left the three on that note as he went to join other ghosts at the party.

“What does he mean by that?” Hermione huffed.

“He’s got an odd sense of humour, that’s for sure,” Sir Nicholas laughed.

-

-

-

Harry couldn’t stop his glare that shot towards Professor Snape as he accused Harry of petrifying Mrs. Norris and writing the bloody message that stained the wall. Before he could snap back at him that he did not do any of this, Professor Fenton seemed to almost step out of thin air to his defense.

“Mr. Potter was with me all night, he did not do this,” his voice laced with a chilling venom. Was he… lying for him?

Snape tilted his chin up, attempting to look down on Fenton who was no longer hunched, and instead stood tall at his full height. It was quite difficult to do as it turned out, Fenton towered over every other Professor in the area. “And who, pray tell, are you?” Snape seemed to almost spit.

A sinister grin spread across the tall Professor's features as he stepped in front of Harry, leaning menacingly over the shorter wizard and blocking his view of the student, “Professor Fenton, the professor of the Dark Arts. Accusing a second year of such a powerful spell isn’t a very wise take, now is it Professor Snape?” Fenton basically spat his name.

Snape glared back, “you would be surprised what Potter is capable of, especially the trouble he gets himself in.”

“How about you try not pinning the blame on a 12 year old child?”

“That is enough out of both of you,” Dumbledore stepped in. “We all know Harry was not responsible for this, as Professor Fenton’s defence is true. We have a healthy patch of mandrake roots that will cure Mrs. Norris of her petrification, and students will resume their classes while the professors investigate the issue. Now you three will return to your dorms for the rest of the night.”

Harry hesitated before he headed back towards the dorms, but didn’t fail to notice how Professor Fenton’s eyes flashed toxic green, or the wink sent in his direction.

[tealeafgrimm]

Keep Holding On

Remus Lupin x Reader Summary: After the events in Godric's Hollow Y/N tries to come to terms with her new life. In hopes of holding on to the last thing in her past she seeks out a certain someone. Words: 2.4k Warnings: mentions of death, loss, grieve A/N: This is my first time writing anything Harry Potter related. Also English isn't my native language, but I still hope you enjoy it.

This wasn't right. This could not be the end. Not this way. Three of them dead, one a traitor and two broken, betrayed and alone together.

The cold November wind whipped like pinpricks in Y/N's face. She wore a thick coat, gloves, hat and scarf, but made no effort to pull it up further to protect herself against the freezing cold. At least feeling the pain of the cold was better than the numbing feeling of helplessness, despair and tiredness that she had been experiencing over and over again in the last few days.

Godric's Hollow always had been a place of refuge for her. Now Y/N would have given anything to never set foot in this place again. At the same time, she did not want to leave it either. For that would mean accepting what had happened. Lily and James were dead. They were gone. Forever.

Y/N did not know how long she had been standing in the small cemetery looking at the grave. A grave that was not supposed to exist, with engravings that seemed so surreal to her. None of this was right. How could it be that Y/N could remember her first meeting with Lily, the moment when James had gone from being an annoying classmate to a project partner and finally one of her best friends, like it was yesterday? And now they were both gone and she was standing here alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feeling nervous, Y/N closed the door behind her, storing her luggage grunting and groaning, before finally settling down on the bench seat. As of today, her life would change. She was a witch. A real witch! At least that's what it said in the letter that had surprised her and her parents at breakfast a few weeks ago. At first, she had thought it was a bad joke on her parents' part, but upon seeing the surprised faces, she had quickly realized that it wasn't.

Y/N's father had finally explained to her that his great uncle, whom Y/N had never met, had possessed magical abilities as well. There were only a few in the family who knew the truth; most of her relatives thought that the man - whom they often found strange especially in his later years - was mentally deranged.

"The magic must have just skipped a few generations. Maybe Uncle Wilbur scared her off!", Y/N's father had laughed while giving her a hug and congratulating her on the Hogwarts letter. After the initial shock, Y/N's mother had also found the idea of having a witch in the family to be fantastic. "Then you can always help me with the household chores! Maybe you can tidy up like Mary Poppins, just snap your finger and SWISH everything’s gone!"

Since that day, Y/N had lain awake every night imagining the things she would learn, what a magical school would be like and how exciting everything would be. But now, as Y/N sat alone in the train compartment waiting for departure, the excitement felt more like panic. What if she wasn't a witch after all and the school had got it wrong? She had no idea about magic at all, what if everyone else laughed at her? And what if she couldn't make any friends? But this fear was quickly forgotten when the door opened and a red-haired girl of Y/N's age entered the compartment, followed by a black-haired boy.

"Excuse me, are these seats still free? All the others are already taken."

"Oh, yeah, sure, sit down."

"Thank goodness. Come on Severus!" The girl dragged the boy into the compartment, closed the door and sat down opposite Y/N.

"Is it your first year as well? I'm Lily Evans and this is Severus Snape." Y/N could feel the tension easing off her. They were first years, like her, and at least Lily seemed like she wouldn't turn down a friendship. However, the same could not necessarily be said for the boy, Severus.

"Yes, I am in a first year, too. Pretty exciting, isn't it? I didn't know anything about all this until a few weeks ago! I'm Y/N Y/L/N, nice to meet you." The two girls shook hands and after a side nudge from Lily, Severus extended his hand to Y/N as well.

"I grew up with muggles too. Severus has told me some things, but I don't really know what to expect either."

Knowing that she was not the only one without prior experience calmed Y/N's nerves immensely. Unbeknownst to them, the foundation of a lasting friendship between Lily and Y/N was laid in that moment. And after the talking hat put them both in Gryffindor, the girls were almost inseparable. Until now.

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"I welcome everyone back for fifth year Potions! Starting today, we will work towards preparing you for your O.W.L.s."

Y/N grimaced. Just thinking about the exams made her feel sick. Potions was definitely not her forte. She was lucky to be sitting next to Lily so she could see everything, otherwise the classroom would probably have blown up several times already.

"Since I've noticed that some of you are starting to rely too much on your partners' work," Y/N had the dull feeling Slughorn's eyes rested on her for just a moment longer, "I've taken the liberty of putting together new pairs." And with that, the chaos ensued. Not that Y/N necessarily had anything against her classmates, but the very thought of brewing a potion without Lily's instructions made her break out in a cold sweat.

Her plea for a chance to work together with Severus was not heard either. Instead, Y/N found herself at the back table with a grinning James Potter.

"I would have preferred Evans, but at least your grades are better than mine!" That her grades had only been good because of her seatmate was something James soon had to painfully realize himself. After only half an hour, their shared cauldron was overflowing so much - after a false addition on the part of Y/N - that James had no time left to escape. Angry blisters on both hands were the result.

The following lessons didn't particularly get any better. As it turned out, James didn't have much of a talent for potions either, or he just wasn't trying. By the fourth week, the two had managed to make their concoction, which should have been a translucent light pink, steam and smoke so much that the entire dungeon floor had to be evacuated for several hours.

"Maybe we should just give up on sticking to the guidelines and instead try to find out what other useful side effects we can produce. That potion would be great if you were in trouble and needed a quick distraction to disappear," James had told Y/N with a wink.

That is how Y/N finally started to help James and the rest of his troupe with their pranks. It was becoming more and more common for the five of them to sit in the library looking for ways to "improve" their potions. For the first two years Y/N had thought that James and Sirius in particular, were just two idiots and troublemakers. With every passing minute, however, she realized that the two of them were geniuses in secret. Remus complemented the troupe with his calm and considered manner and had probably been the only reason no one had died as a result of their 'attacks'. How Peter fitted in had never quite become clear to Y/N, and yet they all worked together.

Lily's enthusiasm regarding Y/N's friendship with the Marauders had been somewhat reserved at the beginning. It was no secret that she wasn't too fond of James and Sirius. In part because of their attacks on Snape. And yet, eventually, Lily became part of the group too. Six against the world. Forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever. That's how it should have been, and yet Y/N was alone. A tear ran down her reddened cheek. Hastily, Y/N wiped it away. How could she still have tears to shed? Shouldn't she have run dry by now?

Then, with one last look at the eternal resting place of her friends and a deep sigh, Y/N turned and left the cemetery. In the streets, people hurried from their cars into houses and shops to escape the November weather. Children laughed and threw snowballs at each other. How could everything keep up the pretense that nothing had changed, that their lives had not been turned completely upside down?

Reaching a quiet side alley and with a glance over her shoulder, Y/N apparated. The small house, if you could call it that, looked even shabbier than usual. Whether it was due to the weather or Y/N's emotions, she could not tell.

For weeks now she had been trying to reach Remus. But every owl she had sent had come back without an answer. Attempts by other Order members to contact him had also been unsuccessful. 'He just needs more time,' Y/N had told herself over and over again. But she couldn't stand the wait any longer. Remus was the only person she had left. The only one who knew how she felt. Betrayed, abandoned...empty. This morning, Y/N had made the decision to visit him and not leave until she had at least seen him in person.

Heart racing, Y/N knocked on the door. Silence. No footsteps, no voice. Nothing to indicate that there was anything moving inside. She knocked again. Once. Twice. This time Y/N would not give up. She knew he was there. He HAD to be there. Where else would he be? Even after several more attempts, nothing changed. The door remained locked.

"Remus, please. I know you're there! I don't want to lose you too!" Y/N spoke the last sentence in such a low and broken voice that she herself was not sure she had actually said it.

More silence and then after a few seconds, which felt more like hours, she heard a soft click and the door opened just a crack.

"Remus?" Hesitantly, Y/N opened the door and stepped inside.

The living room was pure chaos. Remus had always been the most organized and neatest out of the four boys. There was no sign of that now.

Clothes and dishes were scattered everywhere. The air was stuffy and testified to the fact that the door and the windows had hardly been opened in the last few weeks.

Seated on the small, shabby sofa was Remus. Y/N had often visited him in the hospital wing after his transformation. As such, a frazzled, ill-looking Remus was nothing new. But like this? Y/N had never seen him like this before. His skin looked sallow, pale and sunken. His eyes were red and underlined by deep circles. He looked at Y/N rigidly and without expression.

How long had she been waiting for this moment? Waiting to see her only surviving friend again and to embrace him? To feel that she was not alone? That she still had Remus? But now, standing in the same room with him, seeing him so broken, she wished she'd never come here. What could she say? Nothing, absolutely nothing she was going to say could improve the situation, change the brutal reality of the past month.

She did not notice that she was walking towards him. Only when she heard a crunch and felt something break under her shoes did she realized she was crossing the small room. Y/N saw that there was a picture frame on the floor. Obviously, Remus had thrown it in a fit of anger, frustration and sadness. Not until now did she notice that several photos, pictures and mementos, were strewn wildly across the floor. Y/N picked up the picture frame and looked at the photo: Sirius and Remus, about to graduate. Her stomach twisted. Had they really been so wrong about Sirius? How could they not have realized what he really was? She could not and would not look at Sirius' face any longer. She placed the picture upside down on the dining room table.

"It's my fault. Everything is my fault." His voice sounded so hoarse and foreign that Y/N would never have recognized it as Remus' if she hadn't known it was just him and her in this room. Y/N sat down beside him and shook her head.

"I should have seen it! We knew someone was leaking information to the outside! How could I have been so blind?" Remus pulled at his hair, propped his hands on his knees and began to cry. Y/N noticed the familiar lump forming in her throat too.

"Remus...you...you're not to blame for anything. We were all wrong about him." She knew it was a weak attempt at comfort. Y/N knew the feeling of guilt all too well, knew what it felt like. And yet she also knew that Sirius was solely responsible for her friends' deaths. Remus lifted his head and dropped his hands. Sobbing, he nodded his head weakly. In situations like this, Y/N wished she had Lily's talent and skill. Lily would have known what to say. It was always Lily who could see the positive, who knew how to comfort others. Y/N didn't know how to, but she wanted to try. That was why she came here. For Remus. For herself.

Slowly she put a hand on Remus' shoulder, to show that she was there for him. And, honestly, to remind herself that he was really sitting next to her and not just a figment of her frazzled brain.

Y/N felt his muscles tense and was about to pull her hand back when Remus hugged her, pulling her to him. She felt his tears on her shoulder, hugged him as tightly as she could and began to cry as well.

The two sat on the sofa letting their emotions pour out. The tension of the last weeks, the lost friendships, the shared memories, the shared loss, everything seemed to pour out of them at once. At some point they both became quiet. No more tears for the moment. Remus loosened his embrace and for the first time since she had entered his house, looked properly at Y/N. Under other circumstances, his penetrating gaze would certainly have made her uncomfortable; now she wished he would never look away again.

"How do we go from here?" asked Remus after a long period of silence. She had asked herself the same question countless times.

"Honestly? I... don’t know. But whatever comes next, whatever happens, we'll do it together. Okay?" Y/N took his hand into hers and looked at Remus with raised eyebrows.

"Together," he replied with a nod of his head and squeezed her hand.

For the first time since that awful night, in that moment, Y/N felt emotions she thought she would never be able to feel again.

Joy, hope, love.

[citrusdarling7]

Dumbledore's Villainhood

description- an essay i wrote when i should have been doing actual course work

warnings- mentions of abusive households, spoilers for the HP series, mentions of death, and dumbledore slander. (duh)

🗡—————————————————————🗡

I have read the Harry Potter books around twenty times, along with dozens of fanfictions based off of the series. My friends and family have suffered through hour-long rants on subjects such as Snape being the worst character, racism in the writing, and how characters such as Fleur and Lavender are a projection of Rowling’s own internalized misogyny. (Warning: spoilers for the Harry Potter series below!)

The Harry Potter series by J.K Rowling is arguably one of the most well known book series in modern times. With over 500 million copies sold worldwide, these books have been read by millions of people. The story follows orphaned main character Harry Potter as he learns he is a wizard and has a mortal enemy that he will consequently face every book. Harry begins to study at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, which is presided over by Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. Dumbledore was written to represent the Mentor character that is so commonly found in any Hero’s Journey type of story; however I do not believe Dumbledore deserves any praise. I believe that Albus Dumbledore was the true villain of Harry’s story.

Before I dive into the prompt, I would like to first clarify that this is actually not how Rowling had intended for her character to be interpreted. Although she has to be accredited with the fascinating world-building of her series, I don’t like to provide her with any unnecessary praise. Rowling has shown through her social media that she is transphobic, homophobic, anti-Semitic, and racist. Her judgment is incredibly flawed and therefore reflected in her work; Rowling truly believes that Dumbledore should be praised.

In the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, young Harry is sent to live with his non-magical Aunt and Uncle proceeding the murder of his parents. While standing on the end of the street and conversing with Professor McGonagall, Dumbledore says, “It’s the best place for him— His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he’s older. I’ve written them a letter.” (pg 14.) The Dursley’s were incredibly neglectful towards Harry, border lining on the edge of abuse. Harry often went days without meals and spent weeks locked inside the cupboard under the stairs. In Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, book number six, Dumbledore finally explains why he allowed a child to grow up in such horrible conditions. Since Lily Potter sacrificed herself to protect Harry, that protection would continue as long as he spent at least one day a year with her blood relatives. Dumbledore could have easily found a magical family to take Harry in, and have the boy visit his aunt and uncle once a year. It was completely unnecessary for him to be raised by them, yet Dumbledore simply did not care.

Throughout the series, Dumbledore manipulated nearly everyone around him in a variety of ways. One example of this was his relationship with Rubeus Hagrid. In the year 1945, the Chamber of Secrets was opened by Tom Riddle, (young Voldemort.) During a flashback scene, a suspicious Dumbledore has a conversation with Tom Riddle and asks, “Is there anything that you wish to tell me?” (pg. 245) regarding the Chamber. Dumbledore already knew that Riddle was the one to open in, yet he stood aside and did nothing when Hagrid was later blamed. Once Dumbledore was appointed as Headmaster of Hogwarts, he allowed Hagrid to become a gamekeeper for the school. Poor Hagrid views Dumbledore as his savior, which the old man uses to his advantage. Dumbledore was constantly having Hagrid risk his life and freedom by running errands for him. On page 59 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Hagrid performs magic after Uncle Vernon insults Dumbledore. After his expulsion from Hogwarts, Hagrid was banned from doing magic. He is so blindly devoted to Dumbledore that he is willing to break laws to “defend his honor.” When the Chamber of Secrets is opened again in book two, Dumbledore stands aside and allows Hagrid to be taken to Azkaban, the wizard prison, even though he knows Hagrid could not have opened the Chamber.

Dumbledore is consistently described as a great and powerful wizard. Readers are meant to believe that there is nothing the man can not do. It is true that Dumbledore was extremely talented. We know this because of his part in defeating Grindelwald in the 1940’s, the various awards given to him by the Ministry, and him being appointed Headmaster of the school. Yet Dumbledore did very little to help defeat Voldemort, instead opting to use two generations of child soldiers. The Order of the Phoenix was an organization that he started in the 1970’s, which was made up of mostly 18-20 year old's that were fresh out of Hogwarts, Harry’s parents included. During the May 2nd 1998 Battle of Hogwarts, the majority of the fighters were teenagers. And where was Dumbledore? Well, he was conveniently dead by then, after plotting with Snape in the previous book to have him be “murdered.” Dumbledore was selfish and careless when he essentially raised Harry to be a sacrificial lamb, knowing that he was Voldemort’s 7th horcrux all along.

“Help will always be given at Hogwarts, Harry, to those who ask for it.” Dumbledore loves to emphasize how Hogwarts can essentially be a home and family for those who do not have one. That is, if they are in Gryffindor. Although Rowling paints members of Slytherin house to all be evil and conniving, that is not at all true. (Not that Rowling considers Snape to be the only redeemable Slytherin, which I completely disagree with.) Horace Slughorn and Regulus Black are examples of Slytherin characters who bravely fought against evil in their own special ways. In Regulus’ case, he sacrificed his life to further hide one of Voldemort’s horcruxes. Slughorn was able to put past his sense of pride and divulge vital information to Harry, even though it embarrassed him. But Dumbledore believes that being sorted into Slytherin House is like having the world EVIL branded across your forehead. When a young Tom Riddle was sorted into Slytherin, Dumbledore no longer made any attempts to help the boy. Much like Harry, he was a half-blooded orphan who had no idea of his heritage before coming to Hogwarts. Seeing as Harry was a Gryffindor, he was given extra favors and help from Dumbledore that prevented him from becoming evil, which was a very real possibility. Even after his time as a student at Hogwarts, Tom Riddle returned to the castle seeking out a job as a teacher. Dumbledore refused him the job, which would have been an excellent opportunity to keep Riddle in check and prevent him from becoming the monster that is Lord Voldemort. But Dumbledore turned him away, and is therefore responsible for the man he later became.

Although the Harry Potter series is marketed towards elementary school children, I have realized that as you mature, there is so much more that you will take away from the book series. Rowling’s intended themes are one of love, death, and friendship. Looking deeper, you realize that the story is essentially the story of two boys. By the neglect and manipulation of Dumbledore, one became the greatest villain, and the other the greatest hero.

[rebloggingsnape]

3. Pumpkin carving

In Cokeworth's tenent housing, of which Spinner's End was a part, people didn't waste money for something so frivolous as pumpkin carving, Severus' mother told him when he'd asked to partake in the tradition as a young boy. It was a waste of food, Severus understood, but other kids in his school talked about it and he wanted to be normal.

That was before he'd found out he was a wizard, his father devolved into a family beating drunk, and his mother never quite forgave him for spilling her secret to Tobias, even though she could have prepared for it before he'd manifested magic to protect her from her husband. In short, Severus Snape would never be normal.

He quickly learned that the things he might want, big or small, were frivolous and he shouldn't want them at all.

Eventually, it worked. Severus Snape no longer wanted things people got so easily — of course not. Life was not fair and he shouldn't expect it to be. Besides they were frivolous. He didn't need such pointless things.

That was until he became Harry Potter's foster parent.

It had quickly become apparent that the boy had been neglected when Severus had first taken the six-year-old in a few months ago. It took an embarrassingly long time for Severus to realize that the boy wasn't full when he stopped eating after only a quarter of his plate was cleared. Or how Severus found the boy looking for the hoover and cleaning supplies, even though it must have been taller than he was and Severus had spells for that.

Now it was October and the boy had grown increasingly subdued over the weeks since he started school and Severus returned to teaching during the day.

He'd thought the boy would tell him if something was wrong, but after weeks, it'd become clear that wasn't the case, especially one night where Harry had to be coaxed to the dinner table, saying he wasn't hungry. After months of consistent, proper meals, that had become a thing of the past.

They'd been at the table for a while, Harry merely stirring his soup and eating bites when requested, when Severus knew he'd have to ask.

"Harry," he said softly, earning the boy's gaze. He nodded encouragingly in the hopes of keeping it. "I hope you know you can talk to me about anything that's bothering you."

The boy nodded after a few moments' hesitation.

"Do you have anything to tell me, then?" He asked.

The boy dropped his eyes back to the soup, resuming playing with it.

"Harry?" He prompted, projecting mere curiosity, rather than the fear slowly gripping him. Were the kids mean to him at school? Was he unhappy with Severus? At first, Severus might have been happy to ship him off to the next person, but now...

"It's stupid," Harry said, still not looking up.

"Tell me anyway."

"At school, Letti brought something in for Show and Tell."

"What was it?"

"It was— no, it's dumb."

"Harry..."

"She— she brought in a pumpkin she carved with her dads and mum." Harry looked up at him, gauging his reaction, but Severus had momentarily stopped breathing. He was taken back to being the same age, wanting something so normal...

"I knew it was stupid," Harry said bitterly, focused on the soup once more. "May I be excused?" He asked, finally putting the spoon down and waiting for Severus' response.

Severus couldn't speak... He thought about how many times he had told himself the same thing — that it was stupid and he didn't want it anyway... Staring at Harry's closed off expression, he knew he was on a precipice. Pumpkin carving felt frivolous, just like his mother told him, but should it? Was it frivolous or simply something they couldn't afford at the time? Should he deny Harry the same thing?

He made a decision.

Standing up from the table, he asked, "Well, Mr. Potter, shall we go see if the corner market carries pumpkins?"

Harry looked shocked, then his smile lit the room as he jumped up from the table, nearly knocking his chair over.

Severus smiled back.

As he held the boy's hand on the way to the shop, Severus decided that maybe some frivolous things were worth doing anyway.

[believinghurts]

Their Daughter

Relationship: Regulus Black x niece!Reader, Remus Lupin x Black!reader, Severus Snape x Black!reader, Sirius Black x daughter!reader

Warnings: Insecurities 

Summary: What would have happened if Regulus hadn’t died and Sirius had a daughter whose the same age as Harry? What if Regulus raised her with the help of some friends? What when Sirius comes back from Azkaban and Harry shows up to live at Grimmuald Place? This is the story of Alianova Jane Black.  Voices coming from downstairs stirred Ali from her peaceful sleep. Glancing at the clock on her nightstand she saw that it was only 9am which was pretty early for her and everyone else that lived in her house. Normally her Uncle Reg would be awake, but would be quietly reading till she came down later in the morning since she didn’t have school due to it being summer. Summers were Ali’s favorite time of the year; she got to spend time with her Uncles Regulus, Remus, and Severus. They had raised her since her father was shipped off to Azkaban for the murder of his best friends. They normally didn’t talk about her father in the house since her grandmother hated him and Regulus and him didn’t get along. Uncle Remus didn’t say a lot about him either. She knew that at one point they were best friends in school. 

Although they didn’t talk about him a lot Aunt Cissa often said that Ali looked a lot like him with her dark brown hair and grey eyes. No one knew who her mother was since she left Ali at her fathers doorstep when she was six months old. According to Grandmother she was the product of a one night stand, she never said Ali was an accident unlike how she had heard some of the other parents call their children. She often said she was a blessing when she was alive. Grandfather died before her dad went to Azkaban, and Uncle Reg almost died from an Inferi attack caused by the Dark Lord. She went to live with her Uncle when she was one and a half. Her Godparents oblivious couldn’t take her seeing as they were dead. And Remus needed help with her due to his monthly problem which was how she ended up here. Grandmother died when Ali was five, but we weren’t around her a lot to begin with. Regulus didn’t want my views on life tainted by hers, so he often kept Ali out of the house we shared with her or just with him in general. Her portrait still hung in the hall, constantly talking to whoever would listen. 

Unbeknownst to anyone else Ali knew that her father had escaped his prison last year. She also knew that he came to Hogwarts and sought out her Godbrother Harry instead of her. She knew her Uncle Remus, who was working at Hogwarts during the time, tried his hardest to make sure she didn’t know. Ali had not only overheard the Golden Trio talking about it as well as Regulus and Remus’s conversation about it during one of his visits. No one had mentioned it, but if they did she wouldn’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt. Why wouldn’t he seek her out? She was his daughter, not Harry. Wasn’t I what he wanted? She thought time and time again. She heard a few stories from Remus, the few times he talked about Sirius, that he loved her a lot when she was a baby. Constantly doting on her and playing with her, she even slept with him as a baby. So why not me? She couldn’t help but wonder.

Shaking herself from her thoughts, she hopped out of bed slipping her feet into her fluffy socks to rid the chill of Grimmauld Place floor. Athena was bouncing around in her cage begging to be let out. The commotion downstairs seemed to be getting louder the longer it went on. She quickly opened the cage and window letting Athena be free knowing she would probably be back with a letter from her best friends Draco, and Theo at some point in the day. Once she opened her door she realized that all of her Uncles were downstairs as well as someone else whose voice she didn’t recognize. The talking didn’t stop once she got the door opened so she decided to tiptoe down the stairs in hopes of catching what was being said. Her plans were ruined once Grandmothers portrait caught sight of her; she just had to talk. 

“Good morning, my darling girl. How did you sleep last night? You’re Uncle has been making such a ruckus, and in my house of all things.” 

She rolled my eyes, praying that the people downstairs were too busy yelling at one another to notice the noise coming from the hall. But Ali was wrong. 

“Alianova, I know you are not trying to eavesdrop are you?,” Remus said causing the others to fall silent. 

She pasted the most innocent smile on her face that she could muster up before continuing down the stairs. “Me? Eavesdropping? Of course not, Uncle Rem. I was just- just talking with Grandmother.” 

She moved to him as he rolled his eyes at her oblivious lie before pulling her to his chest in a hug. “I missed you, Ali.” He whispered into her ear. Remus and Ali had always been close. Grandmother didn’t like him coming to the house much, though she allowed once in a while if Ali asked nicely enough, but Regulus always made sure that Ali would get to see him at least once a week. After Grandmother passed Remus started to come over more often taking her to the book stores in Muggle London. She knew that as children there had been a tension between Regulus and Remus, but over the years it seemed to have vanished leaving the two to have a friendship of sorts that was even present while Ali was at Hogwarts. “I missed you, too. Why haven’t you been coming around? I’ve been out of school for three weeks and this is the first time I’ve seen you…” 

After everything that happened with her father it deeply hurt that Remus hadn’t come to see her. She frequently wondered if he had decided that Harry was better than her as well. She saw his eyes glance up to the third man in the room before answering, “I had a few things to take care of. I’ll be around a lot more, promise Ali.” 

He gave her one more squeeze before passing her off to Severus who was looking rather annoyed by the fact that he was being ignored by the only child he could stand. Like Remus, she was also close to Severus. She knew that most people saw him as cold and mean, but that was only the front he put up to the outside world. Around her he was talkative, and another father figure. Since he worked at Hogwarts she could be found in his office in some of her free time working on homework or helping him with potions for Madam Pompfrey. He was there for her when she came to Hogwarts nervous to be around some many people at once. He watched her get sorted into Ravenclaw and cry when she thought that she was going to be a disappointment to Remus for not getting Gryffindor, and Regulus for not getting Slytherin. He was in no way the “fun” Uncle, but he was a big support in her life. 

Severus patted the top of her head as she hugged his torso. He wasn’t a touchy feely person though he made exceptions for Ali. “Good morning, Alianova.” 

He was the only person who called her by her full first name. Most called her Nova with the exclusion of Remus who called me Ali, and Regulus who called me A, Al, or Ali Jane when she was in trouble. Ali rolled her eyes up to Sev’s face with her nose scrunched up to show that she still despised being called that. She saw his lips quirk a little on the sides in response knowing that if it was just him and Ali he would have smiled some. Deciding to play dirty right back Ali uttered a  “Good morning Uncle Sevvy.” 

His normal scowl fell back into place upon hearing his hated nickname she had given him as a child. Remus chuckled hearing it while the other man in the room stared at them with what appeared to be disbelief etched on his features. She cocked her head looking in his directions trying to think of where she had seen his face before. It wasn’t hard to place it. It was Sirius Black. His face was plastered all over The Daily Profit last year, and she had also seen a few photos of him in the attic. His eyes took in all the features on her face as if he was analyzing her. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet from the attention. Behind her Remus and Severus shared a look while Regulus stepped back into the room. 

Noticing the tension that had fallen he decided to speak, “What, princess? Everyone gets a good morning but me? And to think I had Kretcher make you pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream for breakfast.” 

Ali moved to the man who had been her father for as long as she could remember. She never called him Dad, but it was what he was. He was only twenty when she was thrown into his life, but even then he didn’t let Grandmother do a lot for her. She learned as she got older that he was part of the Death Eaters as well as Severus. They didn’t hide it from her explaining what it was and how they came to be them. According to her Uncles and Aunts, Regulus changed when she came into his life. He was static, showed little emotion, and never smiled. That was the side to Regulus Black that she had never seen. He smiled, was often goofy, and openly expressed his love for her multiple times throughout the day. She knew that this was because he didn’t want her to grow up how he and his brother had, with no love shown. Which was why he was the only to get up with her when she was a baby and let her sleep in his bed after nightmares. Some said that Grandmother raised her till she died and she just had nowhere else to go which couldn’t be further from the truth. Regulus had raised her from a young age of twenty giving his life to make sure hers was perfect, often going against what Grandmother wanted of Ali. He fed her, taught her to read and play piano, let her cuddle in his bed and watched Muggle telly on Sundays, called Narcissa when she had girl problems, and altogether just loved her, often not caring who saw that side of him. 

Ali kept her eyes trained on the man who was supposed to be her father while tucking herself under Regulus’s arm. Sensing that she knew who Sirius was, Regulus pulled her tight, pressing a kiss to her head before speaking, “If I’m correct you know who this is right, Al?” 

She nodded her head, unable to speak, afraid that the tears she was holding would come through. At her nod Sirius stepped forward slowly as if she would be frightened like an animal. “Hi there, sweetheart. You really do look like me, uh?” 

Gulping slightly she nodded once again. She wasn’t sure what to do. Does she introduce herself? Does she say hi? She looked up at Remus and Severus who were both watching the exchange, the latter more like glaring at Sirius whereas the former was ready to step in at a second notice. She turned her head to look at Regulus next, hoping he would give her directions on what to do. He tilted his head to the side letting her know that it was okay to speak. “H-hi. I’m Alianova. Alianova Jane Black.” 

The man before her smiled brightly. “Hi, love. I’m Sirius, your dad. But I think you already knew that.” She nodded again. Tears were swimming in her eyes again because she knew that this shouldn't have been the first time she met him. She should have met him months ago when he came for her instead of Harry. Harry; the golden boy with his golden friends; who had enough family issues that he gets pity while her family who was also torn apart that night gets nothing but looks of disgust all for being a Black. She caught herself wondering at times if her life would have been different if she was a Lupin or a Snape or maybe even a Malfoy. And it made her angry standing in front of the man who not only brought her into the world as a Black, but also left her that fateful night in order to pursue revenge without even thinking about what would happen to her. 

Her sniffle caught the attention of the room, “Why?” Ali needed to know. She needed to know why he left her that night and why he didn’t come for her when he escaped. Panicked by her question Sirius glanced at Remus then Regulus, not sure what to do. 

Regulus took the intuitive to figure it out, “Why what, princess?” 

Her eyes flickered to my Uncles tall figure, “Why did he leave me that night? But more importantly why didn’t he come for me like he did for Harry when he escaped? I was in Hogwarts too. He knew I existed and he knew that I more than likely went to school there. So why Harry?” Ali turned to look back at Sirius who was shocked by the sudden confidence in her voice, but she was a Black, a short temper was to be expected. “Was I not enough? Did you not want me in the first place? I mean I know you didn't. I was the product of a one night stand, so it’s not like I was planned or anything. So why? Why couldn’t you come to me? Why couldn’t you stay for me?” By the time she was done tears were coming down her cheeks and Sirius’s mouth was opening and closing like a fish. 

“I-I” Sirius stuttered trying to find the right words to explain all his actions. Ali could tell by his actions that he thought she didn’t know that he came to Hogwarts for Harry. It wasn’t public knowledge, and according to the other men in the room faces they didn’t know she knew either. She never believed that he did the crime. From the few stories she was told she knew that he loved James and Lily like family and wouldn’t have turned on them which was why she wasn't afraid of him in the first place. She just wanted to know if they were more important than her, if Harry was more important than her. “I know that you probably don’t remember much from that night if anything at all, but when my best friends, your God parents, were taken from me I was angry. So angry that I couldn’t think straight so I left. I took you to the neighbor who watched you a few times for me and went to go take down the man who did it. It was stupid. I should have waited for Remus, but I didn’t. I wanted nothing more the past twelve years, but to get Harry and for us to be a family. As for not seeing you at Hogwarts, I didn’t know you were there. I wasn’t sure who you were staying with so I knew you could have been there or Dumstrang or Beauxbatons. I didn’t have a lot of time to hunt for people. Once I knew where Pettigrew was I had to get to him. I’m sorry, Alianova. For everything.” 

One thing that often got her in trouble was that she was a very forgiving person. She often forgives anyone who apologized for whatever wrong they did. But this was the one time she wasn’t sure. He apologized, but it didn’t feel authentic. It was like he didn’t even believe some of the words he was saying. She looked around the room again trying to read everyone's faces. Remus looked like he was slightly mad, but when he caught her looking at him his features soften like the times she was hurt and needed him. Severus was still glaring at Sirius, and didn’t notice my scrutiny, and Regulus had now joined Severus in glaring at Sirius which concerned her. He smiled down at her a little when his eyes moved to her face. She looked back at Sirius who was looking at her with what could only be described as puppy dog eyes. Ali took in all his features noting how his brow furrowed, his lips turned down lightly, his eyes big and pleading into hers.

“I-I understand.” Ali couldn’t forgive him yet. She needed to trust him first. She understood what he was saying, and that he was sorry, but it wasn’t okay. And he needed to know that. His face fell slightly at her words, turning his handsome features into a small frown. 

Before he could say anything Regulus intervened, “Alright how about breakfast, love? I know you’re hungry.” Ali giggled as her stomach grumbled in response. “It’s on the table. Muggle way just the way you like it. Go on and we’ll be in shortly.” 

Ali kissed his cheek in thanks, sparing a look around the room before heading down to the kitchen. Knowing that the reason they weren’t joining her right then was to talk about something Regulus obviously didn’t want her hearing she came back up the stairs after opening and shutting the door to the kitchen making it seem like she was in there. Carefully avoiding the squeaky stairs she crouched down to peer around the corner to see the men still standing in the same spots all looking rather annoyed with one another. 

“She understands? That’s all she had to say?” Sirius seemed frustrated and slightly angry if the look on his face said anything. “How is that all she had to say? I apologized. I’m her father. She wouldn’t even hug me.” He threw his hands up while plopping down on the chair before running his hands through his hand, something Ali noted her Uncle Regulus did as well when he was upset. 

“Sirius, you have to understand that she doesn’t know you. She has maybe three photos of you, and has rarely heard stories. Mother loved her, but didn’t like to talk about you very much even when Ali asked. It hasn’t been easy on her. She is ridiculed for her last name constantly; people often judge that before getting to know her. She has no friends in her house really; choosing to spend her free time with Severus, and Remus when he worked at Hogwarts. You can’t just expect her to welcome you with open arms especially after knowing that you went for Harry and not her. Which for the record I did not tell her.” 

“Oh cut the bullshit, Regulus. You told her you know you did. You can’t stand me. You wanted her to hate me. I may have been locked up, but I know that Mother controlled you and probably my daughter till the day she died. She probably filled Alianova’s head with lies about me from the beginning. Bloody hell, you probably did the same!” Sirius exclaimed while getting in younger brother faces. Remus and Severus looked ready to pull the duo apart at a moment's notice. 

Ali could tell from the twitch in her Uncle's eye that he was trying to hold his temper. She had seen it before when someone had made a snide remark about her in Diagon Ally when they went for ice cream her second year. She didn’t want to be the cause of a fight, but she knew better than to intervene. All she could do was sit and watch wide eyed as the potential fight stirred. 

“No. No, Sirius. I have never told that little girl, my little girl mind you, a single lie about you or me or anyone for that matter. After the Inferi incident I never went back to my Dark Mark ways. I acted as a spy for the Order. Dumbledore knew which is part of the reason why I have Ali. He knew I would protect her when he told me what happened. I didn’t know what to believe when he told me that, and she knows that. I never told her you did or didn’t do it. None of us did. Mother rarely mentioned you, and when she did it was because Ali brought it up first. She was five when Mum died, she doesn’t even remember her very much. Mum may have been horrible to us, but the moment I brought Ali here she changed. She loved Ali more than anything. She treated her nothing like how she treated us.” Ali saw her Uncle take a deep breath before continuing. “Ali may be your daughter, but she's mine too. You left HER to go pursue revenge for James. YOU weren’t there all the night she woke up crying wanting to know why not only her Mum left her, but you did too. You weren’t there when she questioned everything about herself when she was ten because she felt inadequate due to someone at school bringing up the fact that she didn’t have parents. You weren’t there when she skinned her knees falling off a broom at Andromedas, and Remus and I had to talk her into getting back on it. You left her; she owes you nothing. And as for me not being able to stand you; I wouldn’t let you in this house if I couldn’t stand you.” Regulus ran his hand through his hair before looking at Remus and Severus who nodded. “Now, she is probably wondering where we are. If you want to join us for breakfast you can. Maybe it will give you a chance to get to know her.” 

Sirius was speechless. Remus thought it was hilarious as the man who couldn’t keep his mouth shut before was just schooled by his younger brother. 

If he can’t handle Regulus he won’t survive Ali, Remus thought. Although Remus wouldn’t admit it out loud Ali acted a lot like Regulus in her wits, sarcasm and charisma. As everyone turned to go towards the stairs Remus stayed back to say something to Sirius. “I know this isn’t easy on you. But Ali is different then you. She takes a while to warm up, and trust people. Keep that in mind. No matter what you think everyone in this room loves her. We’ve watched her grow into who she is today. Just keep a level head about it.” Remus patted his shoulder before heading down the stairs. Yes, Ali was Sirius’s child, but whereas he was loud and outgoing she was more quiet and reserved. Remus knew Ali liked to watch and learn rather than doing which was why she was such good friends with Draco. More times than not Ali was the one who thought out the plans while Draco executed. Remus could only hope that Sirius didn’t shove Ali away when it came down to Harry. Remus was mad when he found out that Sirius hadn’t contacted Ali knowing that it would hurt her if she ever found. 

Ali scurried down the stairs as quietly as possible before sitting in her seat to hopefully looking like she had been here the whole time. She opened the first book she saw on the table right as everyone else entered. Severus gave her a skeptical look when he saw her smile at him, and she knew that she had been caught. Always the observant her Uncle Sev. “Not eating yet, Alianova?” 

“Oh, um no. I was just waiting for all of you of course.” Everyone filed to the table; Remus sitting to one side with Sirius while Regulus and Severus sat on either side of Ali. An awkward silence ensued while everyone piled food onto their plates. Ali kept her eyes firmly on the table, but she felt at least two gazes on her. Risking it she looked up to see Sirius and Remus looking at her. 

Remus cleared his throat breaking the silence, something that Ali was incredibly grateful for, “Ali, how was the rest of your school year?” 

“Oh um, it was fine. I actually hung out with Cho Chang towards the end. It was nice. We helped each other study for Transfiguration, then went to Hogsmeade for Butterbeers with Theo, Blaise, and Daphne.” Ali knew that those at the table who knew her well knew that she didn’t have a lot of friends besides those that Draco hung out with. Being a Black meant a lot of people didn’t trust her unless they were a Slytherin, which was something Ali was not. “I got pretty good scores on my OWLs. I got the highest score out of my whole year in Potions.” 

“I’m so proud of you Ali! I knew you could do it! What about Transfiguration and DADA? I know you struggled some when I was still there.” Remus had turned his attention fully on Ali, but he could see Sirius watching with peak interest wanting to ask questions and he could only hope that Sirius did so. It would make Ali trust him a little more if he showed interest in her life and Remus knew that. 

Ali beamed up at her Uncle, glad to know that he still cared about her life even after Sirius came back, “I got an Acceptable in Transfiguration and a Exceeds Exceptions in DADA. Honestly though if it wasn’t for Draco I wouldn’t have gotten that good in DADA. I swear on Merlin I lived in his dorm the whole two weeks before exams.” 

Her over exaggeration caused Remus and Regulus to chuckle while Severus scowled, “I am going to pretend that I did not hear that since you know you are not supposed to be in there.” 

“Oh calm down, Sev. She wasn’t in there alone I’m sure, and besides it got her a good grade.” Regulus exclaimed wrapping an arm around Ali hugging her while she stuck her tongue out at Severus. 

“I wasn’t in there alone. Blaise, Theo, Pansy, and Daphne were with us and besides that's my cousin, practically my brother gross. I know we’re purebloods, but yuck.” Her comment made everyone at the table break out in a smile. Finally Sirius decided to quit staring and talk to his daughter. He couldn’t hold his tongue any longer after the word cousin left her mouth. He could only hope to be Andromeda's child. 

“Cousin? Which cousin?” Sirius asked before taking a bite. Ali felt Regulus tense slightly at her father's question. Was she not supposed to answer? 

“Draco. Draco Malfoy. He’s Narcissa’s son,” She answered honestly. Ali didn’t see the point in lying. Draco was her best friend, they did almost everything together. 

Sirius was stunned to know that not only had Regulus, who claimed not to be a Death Eater, hang out with a Malfoy, but also Remus who knew better then anyone that is was a stupid thing to do. The Malfoy’s were nothing but Pureblood supremacists with a breeding problem. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed when Remus kicked him under the table. Sirius knew that Remus didn’t want him to say anything about it and from the look on Regulus’s face he didn’t either. He decided that it could wait till the adults were alone, or just Sirius and Remus were fine with him, so he could get some answers because any child of his was not going to spend time with Lucius Malfoy's child. The silence filled the room again making Ali squirm in her seat til Sirius spoke again, “Um, what- what house are you in, Ali?”

 This question caused Ali to tense up. She knew her father was in Gryffindor and she assumed her mother was as well. Her father was known for bashing Slytherins which was what most of her friends were. Even the Sorting Hat debated for five minutes over whether she was a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw. 

Gulping she answered, “I’m a - a Ravenclaw.” 

“Really?” Ali nodded. “Do you like it? I mean I didn’t know a lot of Ravenclaws when I was in school.” 

“Oh um yeah, I guess. I like to read so the common room is always quiet which is nice.” 

“You must have gotten that from your mum. I wasn’t much of a reader, preferred Quidditch,��� Sirius let out a laugh. He was trying but it was hard to talk to a fifteen year old who you didn’t know a lot about, but was also your daughter. “Do you play?” 

That caused Ali to laugh. She was a lot of things, but talented at Quidditch was not one of them. She knew that her dad was a player back in the day, a beater if she remembered correctly, but there was honestly no point in her even trying she could barely fly a broom; that alone took a lot of practice and help from her Uncles and friends. “No. Honestly it would be easier for a Niffler to play then me.” 

“Godric, Ali is horrible at flying. I think it might be her downfall one day, literally she's falling off the broom more than flying usually,” Remus chimed in. 

Laughter was heard around the table then, and even if it was at her expense Ali was glad for it. The tension that was surrounding everyone seemed to leave the air and easy conversation flowed after that. Sirius asked Ali more about her interest and school while Remus and Regulus cleaned the kitchen up; something that shook Sirius to his core was seeing his little brother clean things the Muggle way. Severus had to leave to pick up a few things for some potions he was working on which led to Ali hugging her Uncle goodbye and him actually smiling, and judging by the look on Sirius’s face that was something he was not prepared for. 

“Did he just smile? Like openly? And HUG her?” He practically shouted after Severus had left, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile even in school.” 

Regulus scoffed lightly at that, “Well you would have seen him smile in school if you wouldn’t have tormented him all those years. But yes, he did and does hug Ali. She is probably the only one he will ever hug, but it is something.” 

“Sirius, something that you don't know is that Alianova was, and frankly is, the light of a lot of people's lives.” Ali blushed at the comments being made about her from Remus. “She was brought into Regulus, and your mothers lives when she was still trying to get over the loss of your father and Regulus almost being killed. I know your mum was a mean old bat.” Ali let out a string of giggles at that, making Regulus look at her with his eyebrow raised; she quickly looked back down at the table while her Uncle shook his head amused. “But she wasn’t mean to Ali. She loved her to pieces. Yes, some of her views were wrong still they were never shoved down Ali’s throat. Not only did she bring light to their lives, but also to mine and Severus���s. After everything that happened I didn’t even want to stay in London. I had lost everything. Then one morning there is a knock at my door. I debated opening it, but I am immensely glad that I did. I’m gonna be truthful here and this is stuff that Ali and Regulus haven’t heard, but I was scared when he showed up with her. I didn’t know what had happened to her. Harry was shipped off to the Dursleys, and her Godparents were dead and no one would give me much information about her. I had simply given up on the Magical world. Then I watched them play on the floor of my living room and I knew that no one could raise her better than Regulus. He asked me to help of course, and the same goes for Severus. He had lost the one he thought he loved and needed a new outlook on things. He got that from Ali.” Remus placed his hands on the girls shoulders when he noticed she had tears in her eyes. “And I can guarantee that she will be your light too if you let her, Sirius.” 

No one said anything for a few minutes. All were taking in the words Remus had just said. Ali wasn’t used to being talked about like that. Yes, she got praise for school or piano, but no one called her their light before. Regulus stood thinking about the things Remus had said knowing that it was nothing but the truth. He isn’t sure what would have happened if Ali hadn’t come to him, but the outcome would not have been a good one. His self destructive actions stopped the day that baby was placed in his arms. He loved Ali like his own and would protect her from the world. He could only hope that Sirius wouldn’t make the same mistake that he did with him and push her away.

[cursestothemoon]

A Swish Of Your Wand Away

Requested: yes

Draco Malfoy x Malfoy!fem!little sister!reader

warnings: mentions of death, war, marriage 

Summary: Draco loses his little sister in the midst of battle and can’t help but think the worst. 

i got just a tad carried away but I hope you guys like it :)))

word count: 1400+

✧✧✧

“Do it for sissy, Draco.”

The back of his neck exploded in goosebumps as his aunt's hot breath hit his skin. Do it for sissy, Draco knows what she means and his hand trembles at the insinuation. He has to do it, a life for a life, it’s only fair. But why is he starting to lower his hand, why is he struggling? Was Y/n not just as or more important than Dumbledore? Why can’t he just-

“Step aside, Draco.”

It was the low voice of Severus Snape and Draco could hear the sneer his auntie Bellatrix let out. He didn’t want to look at him, he wasn’t strong enough to look at him, not strong enough to ensure the safety of his little sister. And it was with her in mind that he watched the body of his now former headmaster fall over the railing of the tower. How he wished he could take credit for it, his father would be proud, and his family safe.

“Draco, go get your sister. Quickly, and make sure to find us in one piece.” Professor Snape grunted in his face, hand fisted in the lapel of his black suit.

Draco nodded, quick to go find Y/n and get them both out of the school.

That seemed a lifetime ago now, the catalyst of the now war, a distant memory. His breaths were frantic and hands trembling, with each wall that would get blown away or blasted down he’d flinch thinking the worst. It was only her fourth year, she was only fourteen and just barely at that. He remembers when he was fourteen, fourth year being the last year he could bring himself to enjoy. Now his sister, little Y/n, was fighting in a war he had started and she was forced to fight for the wrong side.

Draco had gone to grab her from the horde of Slytherin’s in the dungeons, he grabbed her, Blaise, and Goyle. He shoved them out of the crowd and looked to his sister, telling her to leave, to find their parents and stay out of trouble. He should’ve known she wouldn’t listen, especially when she saw her friends being attacked.

Y/n Malfoy, though young, had always been one for hard work and truth. It seemed people from all houses were quite friendly with her, a luxury Draco was never accustomed to. She was a better person than Draco would ever be, and he was proud of her for it, but in the middle of a war was not the time for her to be a savior. Or worse, a martyr.

He turned down a corridor, or what was left of one, and his stomach jumped at the flash of blonde hair but his hope fizzled out, it wasn’t Y/n. Draco couldn't help but groan, where is she? He had seen her just moments before the fighting got really bad, her emerald green robes were tattered and ice blonde hair blood stained and ashy.

Draco’s feet hurt, blisters and pebbles making themselves known in his once expensive shoes and he couldn’t help but pray to Merlin, and Helga Hufflepuff, and Rowena Ravenclaw, and even Godric Gryffindor that Y/n was still breathing. With a final glance around, Draco turned to go back to the Great Hall and continue his search outside.

He almost missed it, but honestly how could he, the red hair and pinecone wand. Fred Weasley lay under piles of rumble, his head and right shoulder being the only things not crushed by the broken wall. His figure unmoving and unnaturally grey, Draco felt the bile rise in his throat as he realized not only was Fred Weasley dead but George was somewhere out there forced to fight alongside someone that wasn't his brother. Draco feared he’d be next to know what it felt like to lose someone of such importance.

A group had now been gathered outside, silence ringing across the broken and beaten students as the Dark Lord’s previous words hung in the air.

Harry Potter is dead!

Draco, in years to come, would swear that he could feel the color drain from his face. He still hadn’t found his sister and it had been hours, Harry was dead, his sister lost, and faith diminished. No one knew what to do next, how could they move on from this? And Draco kept his eyes down, hoping not to be found by his parents and the Dark Lord just on the other side of the courtyard.

“Draco!” He had been found.

The hatred was clear in Draco’s eyes as he looked at his father calling to him. His feet were firmly planted on the ground, he couldn’t just leave. At least, not until he found Y/n. Not until he found her alive.

“Draco… come.”

It was his mother now. Her voice had an underlying tone of desperation that made him consider walking over to them. Joining them.

Surely someone would stop him, someone had to care enough to show him a sliver of forgiveness. His sister was presumably dead, because why else would he be the only one called to join, and Draco had no use in fighting for any side. He had no use in fighting at all because he had lost the person he was fighting for, his baby sister.

His steps were slow, his feet stuttering as if asking if he really wanted to do this. Draco had taken a total of five steps before he heard her voice.

“Draco, don’t go!”

His head snapped almost too fast for comfort in the direction of the voice, her voice. There she was, her cheekbones high and looking more prominent than ever, she was gaunt and tired and dirty. Her hand was hanging in a makeshift sling, bent at an unnatural angle, but she was alive. Y/n was standing behind George Weasley and Molly Weasley, George’s hand coming out to push her further behind his body at the sight of her father’s angered glare. Not only had his daughter been alive, but alive and with blood-traitors.

Draco would forever be in debt to the Weasley’s, his little Y/n was alive because of them no doubt.

He walked toward Y/n, her breaking out from behind George and Molly to meet her brother half way and grabbed his hand.

“No.” Draco was finally sure he was on the right side. His hand grasping his sisters firmly, they both refused to move.

---

“Are you nervous?”

“Just a little.”

Draco offered a soft smile, “Don't be.”

The music started to play and Draco watched the doors open, both he and Y/n taking a breath before proceeding down the aisle. The day had come and Draco was more than apprehensive about giving away his baby sister's hand, sure that no one was deserving of her. He had blubbered like a right fool the night she had asked him to walk her down the aisle and give her away.

Suddenly they had reached the end of the aisle and Draco was not ready to pass on Y/n’s hand that was holding his own so tightly. He had always been the one to protect her and now he was just supposed to pass that privilege on to someone else?

Y/n turned to face Draco, her heart racing as she met his eyes pooling with tears. His hands came up, a gentle tremble accompanying them, and he moved the veil from over her face. Her eyes were bright and smile wide, Draco wondered when she had grown so much.

He moved his hands to cradle her cheeks, tilting her head down allowing him to place a kiss to her forehead.

“I love you, Darling.”

“I love you too, Brother.” Her words were quiet but strong and Draco nearly pulled her back when she was brought to stand with the person she was to marry.

“...To the family that has taken my dear sister in as their own, I promise you not only my respect, but my love. Thank you for looking past our name to see the beautiful woman my baby sister has grown into.” Not a single guest had remained dry eyed as Draco continued his speech, turning to his sister.

“And to my little Y/n, you are the reason I have become the man I am today. I made a promise to you, all those years ago when days were dark and war building, that as your brother there was nothing I wouldn’t do to protect you. Now, as I pass on the privilege of being your guardian to whom you are now wed, I make you a new promise. One ensuring that I will always be just a swish of your wand away.”

[marvelslut16]

Idiots in love

Pairing: William ‘Bill’ Weasley x reader 

Synopsis: (Y/N) has been in love with Bill ever since she met him their first year at Hogwarts. Will she finally tell Bill how she feels, like Mrs. Weasley hopes she will, or will Fleur and Ginny’s assumptions about (Y/N)’s love life get in the way. 

Word count: 2.9k+

Warnings: Angst. Dumb asses pining after each other. Fleur, if she counts lmao. Brief mentions of death. 

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for months, I wrote it as a self indulgent piece since I can’t date Bill in Hogwarts Mystery and I wasn’t sure if anyone would actually read it. It's cannon divergent. Also, tell me if you want a part 2!

My first fic of the new year! Hopefully I'll be way more consistent and inspired this year. Thank you to everyone reading any of the fics I write, I love you all!

“Molly, he’s happy with her,” you roll your eyes at the older woman who had become like a mother to you over the years. 

You met her at Kings Cross Station the morning of your first year, she helped you cross the barrier, your parents are muggles who are afraid of anything different. You were in Bill’s year, the two of you becoming fast friends on the train ride. Through your years at Hogwarts you two became inseparable, both becoming Head Girl and Head Boy together. You two always studied together, explored the castle together, went to Hogsmeade together, you did everything together. Well, except one thing, you didn’t fall in love together; you fell for him, and he fell for that foul, loathsome Emily Tyler and now Fleur Delacour.

You spent almost every Christmas Holiday under the burrow’s roof, along with most of your summers. The burrow was your real home, and the Weasley’s were your family. After you and Bill had graduated Molly and Arthur insisted you use their first names, both convinced you and Bill would finally get together. But that didn’t happen, you both went separate ways, barely even owling over the years. He went on to be this fantastic cursebreaker for Gringotts, getting sent all the way to Egypt. And you, you became the astronomy professor at Hogwarts, you thrived in the subject and Professor Sinistra transferred to Uagadou.

“But you’re perfect for him,” Molly nags. You loved the women with your whole heart, but she really needed to learn when to drop matters of the heart. Especially when the topic of discussion was set to arrive soon. 

“Not everything works out how we want it to,” you sigh as you hand her a clean dish to dry, you had wanted to clean the dishes the muggle way. “Especially when it involves one's heart.”

The two of you are waiting for everyone to arrive, Arthur is picking the kids up from the train now that it’s summer holiday. You had apparated to the burrow after the students boarded the train, now officially a part of the Order. Dumbledore and Sirius are dead, but that just means that everyone needs to fight harder. 

“I just want you to be happy,” Molly’s eyes are soft and sad as she looks at you. 

“I am,” you smile through the lie. There’s a pop from the living room, assuming it’s just Charlie you continue. “I don’t need a man Molly, my students make me happy.”

“Mum,” the unmistakable voice of William Weasley calls as he walks towards the kitchen. “I have great news, Fleur and I are engaged! We want to get married this summer!”

You accidentally drop the plate you're washing back into the soapy water, causing some to splash your shirt. For a split second you see Molly’s face fall before she puts on a bright fake smile as she turns to her eldest. You refuse to turn and see him, you thought you had enough time to prepare yourself to see him again, but you didn’t. He refused to see you after he got hurt during the battle of the astronomy tower when he was in the hospital wing and ignored you in the few weeks following.  

“Oh, wow,” Molly tries to come up with a response that won’t upset him. “This quickly?”

“I can’t take the chance, not now,” his mood is hard to read from his voice. He almost seems too defensive when he responds. “Not with everything happening.”

Your heart stops its thumping for a second, you didn’t realize it would hurt this much to see him happy. You want more than anything for him to be happy, but you also know that his mother and sister will never approve of Fleur. And he’ll never be fully happy because of that. But maybe you're wrong, maybe you don’t really know him. Maybe you never did. 

“I can’t believe I signed up for bloody astronomy again,” you can hear Ron complain through the open window before Molly can respond.

“You know you love me,” you holler out the window as Ron and Ginny get closer to the house. They’re the only two at Hogwarts now, they’re growing up so fast. 

“Yeah, yeah professor,” he mutters as he walks through the door before grinning widely at you. 

Even though you had seen Ginny hours ago, the younger girl runs up to you and throws her arms around you. You laugh as she pulls back and makes a face as some of the soap suds transferred to her shirt. 

“You just saw (Y/N),” Ron rolls his eyes at Ginny’s actions.

“Yeah but that’s different,” Ginny defends. “At Hogwarts I can’t talk to her about boys, or eat dinner with her, or ask for Quidditch tips.”

“I’m always up for talking about boys,” you grin down at the red headed girl. You laugh and apologize to Molly as Ginny pulls you from the kitchen and up to her room. 

You don’t glance at Bill, you can’t. You’re too scared that all of the feeling you have bottled up will resurface with just one glance. You miss the way his eyes soften at your interaction with his sister, and how they trail after you as you get pulled past him. You sit with Ginny as she fawns over Harry for close to an hour, interjecting occasionally when she asks for your opinion. This is what you always imagined having a younger sister would feel like. 

“What about you?” she asks with a teasing tone in her voice. 

“What about me?” you laugh lightly as your eyebrows furrow in confusion. 

“You and professor Snape,” she’s smirking. 

“Severus?” you laugh before your face pulls into a disgusted look only Ginny can see. “We’re coworkers. Dare I say friends. And he’s a part of the Order, we have to at least tolerate each other.”

“Mhm,” she sounds unconvinced. “He smiled at you the other day! In the Great Hall, where people could see! He never smiles!”

“Ginny, we’re friends,” you try to get through to the stubborn teen. “Plus he’s known me since I was eleven, that would be gross.”

Before Ginny can respond there’s a knock on the open door, you turn around and see Bill for this first time in years. His red hair still falls to his shoulders, and he still has that fang hanging from his ear. There are scars down his cheek now, those and the fang make him look bad ass. Your heart stutters as your eyes meet his, the heartache that disappeared when you were gossiping with Ginny resurfaces with just one look.

“Dinners ready,” he says before turning and walking back down the stairs. 

Dinner is loads of fun, the two eldest Weasley’s joining the group since there’s a small Order meeting afterwards. Dinner is full of Charlie joking with you, something you're happy about since Ginny wouldn’t be able to bring up Severus again. You ignore the giggles and the French accent that poke holes in your heart as Bill only pays attention to Fleur, who showed up at the Burrow when you were upstairs. 

After dinner you agree to show Ron and Ginny some Quidditch moves you had picked up over the years, borrowing an old broom left behind by one of the other boys. Remus and Tonks appear in the front yard, signaling that the meeting would start momentarily. Ron thanks you as he continues to practice the moves as you fly to the ground. Ginny follows you, wanting to get a drink from the kitchen before it's closed off to the youngest two. 

“Are you going to take his last name, or is he going to take yours?” she teases. 

“Ginny, not now,” you sigh, not sure how to get it through her head that you have no feeling for the potions master without revealing that you’re in love with her oldest brother. You aren’t sure who’s worse, her or Molly. 

“Alright, whatever you say Mrs. Snape,” Ginny wiggles her brows in your direction as you head for the kitchen. 

“Mrs. Snape?” Severus’s monotonous voice comes from behind you two. Ginny’s eyes widen before she takes off running, and a strangled sound leaves your lips.

“Ginevra Molly Weasley, that’s a month of detention next year!” you yell after her. You take a breath before turning to stare into Snape’s obsidian eyes. “Ginny saw you laugh at my stupid joke in the Great Hall a few weaks ago and now she’s convinced you have feelings for me.” Severus raises his eyebrows at you before looking in the direction Ginny ran off in. “She’s just a kid Sev, don’t hold her delusions against her.”

“Weasley’s,” he mutters before heading to the kitchen himself. Dumbledore had told a select few in the Order the plans for Severus to kill him so Draco didn’t have to, and since the Headmaster was already dying nobody was as mad as expected. “Don’t you have feelings for the oldest one?”

“Be quiet!” you hiss, as look to make sure no one heard. He smirks before walking into the room where the meeting is to be held, leaving you standing confused in the hallway.

The meeting is small tonight; Remus, Tonks, Charlie, Molly, Arthur, Sev, yourself, Bill, and Fleur. The rest had prior engagements unfortunately, so it was essentially just family and Severus. 

Molly uses her magic to pour you a glass of tea as you sit beside Sev, the only open seat. You smile a quick thanks before lifting the cup to your lips. The warm liquid soothing your tired throat, students liked to talk over you during the last week of school so your throat was a little raw. 

“Do you want a cookie with that, love?” Snape’s monotonous voice is slightly louder than it normally is. The term of endearment comes as such a shock that you spit out the tea that's in your mouth, landing across the table on Fleur. 

There was no denying that Severus’s question was directed at you, he’s holding the plate full of Molly’s cookies right next to your face. The room goes deathly silent as the seconds pass by. Ginny, who was getting herself some pumpkin juice, drops the glass she was holding, it shatters when it hits the ground. Molly, Arthur, and Charlie abruptly stop their conversation to stare at you and Sev in shock. Remus furrows his eyebrows as he looks between you two, Tonks looks like she's holding back a laugh. A flash of pain seems to cross Bill’s face before it goes blank, and horror crosses Fleur’s when your tea lands on her. 

“I’m so sorry!” you cover your mouth, thankful the liquid wasn’t warm enough to burn. Bill doesn’t even turn to look at his fiancee, just stares at you. 

“Are you alright?” Snape has a small smile only you can see. You aren’t sure how to respond, especially as you stare at the amusement dancing in his onyx eyes. 

“I knew it!” Ginny yells, finally breaking the few seconds of silence, seconds that felt like years. You flick Sev’s leg under the table, and he has the audacity to grin larger.

“Thanks honey,” your eyes narrow slightly as you grab a cookie off the plate, passing it to Bill without looking away from the man in all black. 

The rest of the meeting is awkward, and as soon as it’s over you pull Sev out of his chair and outside. The cool night air cools your burning cheeks and he lets out a laugh that he had been holding in.

“What was that?” you pull at the ends of your hair. 

“We made your precious Weasley jealous,” even though he’s smirking, there’s no change in his inflection. 

“And now they all think we’re together!” your voice is high pitched and squeaky. 

“Good luck with that,” he disapparates before you can respond.

“I hate you!” you yell at the spot where Severus was just standing.

“You and Snape, huh?” Charlie’s voice cuts through the silent night. 

“Not bloody likely,” you roll your eyes, before plopping onto the ground. Charlie joins you as you lay and stare up at the stars. “He heard Ginny saying she thought he liked me, and he knows who I like, so he decided to run with it. He’s actually fun when you break through his cold exterior.”

“You still love Bill,” it isn’t a question. No matter how many times you denied it while you three went to school together, Charlie never believed you. 

“Yeah,” you sigh, turning to look at him. He’s already facing you so you continue, “your mum kept going on about how I should be the one with him this afternoon. She won’t drop it.”

“I love my brother,” Charlie makes sure you keep eye contact with him as he continues. “But he’s being stupid. I agree with mum, you should be the one marrying him.”

“He’s happy without me,” your voice comes out sadder than you thought it would, guard finally down. “We’ve barely talked in years, and he wouldn’t even let me see him after the attack. He doesn’t need me, nor does he want me in his life anymore.”

Charlie just sighs, annoyed that neither you nor Bill could see the truth starring you both in the face. You love each other. Charlie just lies next to you in comforting silence, staring at the night sky until he has to head back to Romania and you off to bed. 

A single tear slips down your cheek as you lay down in the bed that once belonged to Charlie. Ginny enters the room without knocking, and you quickly wipe away the tear. 

“Why didn’t you tell me!” she practically screams. 

“There’s nothing to tell, he was messing with you, Gin,” you look her directly in the eyes so she knows you aren’t lying. 

“What aren’t you telling me?” she sits beside you on the mattress. 

“I’m in love with Bill,” you whisper, finally saying the words out loud. Sure you had agreed with Charlie earlier, but you had never said the five words out loud before. It feels like a weight is lifted off your chest, until a new wave of heartache hits you. “I have been since we were in school, and it hurts Ginny. Fleur, she’s perfect, I couldn’t possibly compete with her.”

“You’re so much better than her, (Y/N),” Ginny grabs your hand, causing you to look up at her. “And he’s a fool if he doesn’t see that.”

“Thanks Gin,” you smile sadly, squeezing her hand before she heads off to her room. 

--

“Zank you,” Fleur’s French accent is the first thing you hear in the morning. Ginny comes up behind you as you stand in the hallway, and puts her hand on your shoulder. Today is the day you forget about all of this foolish childish love you have for Bill. 

Molly watches you closely as you sit down at the breakfast table, Ginny plopping down beside you. As you talk to the young girl about Quidditch over breakfast, a black owl flies through an open window. You roll your eyes as it plops a letter beside you, you give the owl some of your toast before it flies out of the window again. Ginny looks over your shoulder as you open the letter, the rest of the Weasley’s not-so-secretly watch you read it. 

The letter isn’t anything special, just Severus letting you know that you had left a book at Hogwarts. You know full well he’s being his dramatic self, going out of his way to send an owl, just so he can say he was right. He even added a p.s, asking if Bill had gotten jealous yet. You laugh at the ridiculous question, causing Bill to excuse himself and walk outside. Fleur doesn’t move from her seat, causing you and Ginny to make a face at each other.

A few moments pass before you decide to follow your old best friend against your better judgment, but someone should check on him. He’s in the backyard pacing like a madman, running his hands through his long hair and pulling on the tips. 

“Bill?” you ask softly. He whips around and looks at you, once again his face is hard to read. Your eyes, however, soften as soon as they see what Fenrier Greyback did to him. “What’s wrong?”

“You and Snape?” his voice is hard and cold. “He hated us growing up, and you just pretended that never happened and you're with him? He hated you!”

“It’s none of your business William!” your voice is high pitched, you’re angry. He doesn’t talk to you in ages and now all of a sudden he thinks it’s okay to judge your relationships. “We were annoying kids back then, of course he hated us.”

“You could do better than him!” his anger seems to rise at the use of his full first name. 

“We’re just friends!” your voice is shrill, and you're sure everyone inside can hear you two clearly. “Not that it’s any of your business anyway! Severus was letting me know I forgot some of my belongings at Hogwarts. You have no right to judge who I choose to spend my time with and who I befriend, not when you haven’t tried to talk to me in years Bill!”

With that you turn and head away from the burrow, not wanting to face anyone right now. Especially any of the Weasley's, and most of all, Molly. Bill calls your name as you walk away from him, but you don’t turn around. You can’t. William Weasley has broken your heart multiple times since you met him, and you aren’t about to give him the satisfaction of watching himself break your heart all over again.

Part 2

Permanent tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny @mrs-malfoy-always​

[harrypotter-imaginess]

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Based on this Headcanon list (x) : Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! <This is Part 5!>

A/N: As said, I switched to a headcanon list because we have 7 books to get through, and it will take years if I only do the blurbs. Oh, and if you are in the market for some cute pro-Weasley shirts, check out my 'Weasley Suprmeacy' shirt here!

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

* It’s your third year at Hogwarts, Harry Potter’s second, and you’re having a pretty good year so far

* You’ve made your house team, and you’re doing pretty good in school, in fact, you’ve got a knack for potions and herbology

* “Good thing too or we’d be stuck up a creek without ya” Fred says grinning as he watches you show him how to make the simple “cure for boils” potion

* “And not sooner either, these things hurt more than you think” George complains, wincing every time he touches one

* “Well what did you think was going to happen when you tried to go into the girl’s changing room?” You ask with a sigh

* “In our defense we didn’t know it was the girls changing room, we just wanted a shortcut to the pitch”

* You hide a smile, that sounds about right

* Life is pretty good

* Until it isn’t

* “Enemy’s of the heir beware” the words leave your mouth in a murmur

* Your eyes trained on the blood-coated words on the wall

* You think you're going to be sick

* “That’s right you’ll be next mudbloods!” Draco shouts and immediately you feel two hands clasp both of your shoulders

* One is Fred’s and the other is George’s

* They insist on walking you back to your dorm

* “Really I’ll be fine, you should go check on your brother, Ginny was looking a little pale too” you insist but they keep pushing you forward

* “We can do that after you get back to your common room safely”

* If you’re Muggle-born they’re really protective of you over the next few months

* You’ve woken up to taping on your window more than once, yawning as you walk over to see who it is

* Only to see your favorite red-headed pair of doppelgängers

* “Couldn’t sleep” Fred says with a yawn

* “We were too afraid the heir of Slytherin would kill us in our sleep” George adds

* “Best we sleep here, so you can protect us and keep us safe” they finish in unison

* The next morning your dorm mates wake up to see them sleeping on the floor at the foot of your bed, drooling all over each other, wands clasped in their hands

* They absolutely refuse to let you stay in the castle for Christmas

* “Nope, no, no way in bloody hell,” George says defiantly

* “But I want-“

* “If you’ve got a death wish, you can just come home with us and eat mum’s cooking-”

* “So good you’ll go to heaven”

* They’re tugging you to the station before you can even protest

* “What about Ron?” You ask

* “What about Ron? He’s a big boy, besides it looks like those three are scheming-“ George starts

* “Schemings best left to the young ones, us old-timers have no place in it, best for us to go home and have some Christmas pudding, isn’t that right Percy?”

* Percy, who was only passing by gives you three a quizzical look before turning away with a shake of his head

* “Whatever nonsense you’re up to, leave me out of it”

* Fred turns to you with a grin

* “See even Percy agrees, leave the nonsense to the youngins’”

* Percy just keeps shaking his head

* “Come, Ginny, let’s sit somewhere away from them- don’t want you to be around bad influences”

* Their parents are thrilled to meet you

* “So you’re (Y/N)! We’ve heard so much about you-“

* So the twins talk about you at home huh?

* “- from Percy, he says your next in line to make prefect in your house,” she says patting you affectionately on the shoulder

* Percy nods from behind her

* “Cedric’s been recommending you to Sprout” He adds

* Your face burns and the twins grin behind you

* “Prefect (Y/N) I like the sound of that” George says with a mischievous grin

* “Don’t forget us when you’re rich and famous, soaking in the prefect bathroom like a big shot”

* You roll your eyes

* “Well since I’m such a big shot I guess I can overlook when you explode a toilet or two”

* The Weasley’s stay up until well past midnight for Christmas

* Molly knits you a matching scarf for the sweater she gave you last year

* “Well doesn’t it look dashing on you!” She says with a smile and she wraps it around your neck

* George and Fred are nervous you might not like it but you grin

* “I love it”

* George scrambles over

* “You want my scarf too?” He says already unwrapping his from around his neck

* “Take mine too, you look awfully cold,” Fred says

* There’s a Polaroid somewhere of you swaddled in five scarfs while Ginny and the twins laugh

* Percy is in the background looking disappointed- but one of those scarves is how

* At night, when the sleeping arrangements are all drawn up you’re with Ginny

* You lie side by side in her bed, you’re half asleep

* “Can I talk to you about something”

* You yawn and nod, not moving

* And then when she doesn’t say anything you say-

* “About Harry?”

* There’s another silence, but this one feels heavier somehow, and it wakes you up a bit

* “Just send him some chocolates for Valentine’s Day” you yawn patting her shoulder

* “Sign it with ‘your secret admirer’ if it makes you too nervous” you yawn again, feeling your eyes droop

* Is that why she’s been looking so sick lately? Too many nights lying awake at night thinking about a boy who doesn’t share her feelings

* “You know Ginny if something does nothing but cause you pain, and I know it’s not very Gryffindor-like, but you can just walk away from it yknow” you’re slurring, barely awake.

* “I can’t just walk away?” She asks and you nod

* “Of course you can”

* And then you fall asleep

* Completely forgetting about the conversation until it’s Valentine’s Day and you see Harry followed around by a singing valentine

* “So this is the fantastic advice you gave Ginny?” George asks, a teasing smile lifting onto his face

* “I told her to give chocolates! I don’t know a boy alive who doesn’t like sweets”

* “Well where’s our chocolate then?” Fred asks expectantly

* You look to George for some support, but he’s looking at you expectantly too

* “Oh I get it, all your chocolates are saved for pretty boy Diggory”

* You roll your eyes and shake your head while walking away

* What’s up with them and thinking that you have a crush on Cedric

* They do come back to their dorms with small bags of chocolate on their beds, just two pieces each

* But they smile like you gave them a lump of gold

* “Did you make them by hand?” One teases

* “Tasted like they were made with love, and all those warm fuzzy feelings” the other finishes

* You roll your eyes

* “You should just be glad the house-elf I found didn’t mind me taking a bit of chocolate”

* It surprises both of them that you actually did make them by hand

* They were really just teasing

* George is the one to make the first move

* “Well next time you go invite us too, I think it would be fun to learn how to make chocolates”

* George wraps an arm around your shoulders

* “We could give them to Snape and make him think he has a secret admirer,” Fred says with a grin, wrapping one of his arms around your shoulders as well

* “Send him a singing Telegraph and everything” George grins

* You shake your head and laugh, what a couple of bozos

* It is pretty funny to see Snape get all flustered though

* They get even more protective when Muggle-born students start getting petrified

* You’re never without one, or both of them

* “Looks like your bodyguard is here,” Cedric says with a teasing smile when he sees George waiting in the corridor outside your class for you

* You nod, moving to go meet him when you feel a gentle touch on your arm

* “Let him know that if he’s ever looking for a career change, I’ll gladly fill the spot” he ruffles your hair before you leave and you can see the teasing coming from a mile away

* But George doesn’t say anything when you walk over to him, walking together to transfigurations in moderate silence

* “So you and Diggory are pretty close” he finally says, breaking the silence

* You look up at him, his eyebrows are threaded together and his mouth is pinched into a frown

* It makes you think about the time you thought that maybe they wouldn’t spend as much time with you anymore when you were brewing the amortentia potion

* “Yeah but we’re closer,” you say bumping your shoulder against his arm, he laughs

* “That’s true”

* The mischievous glint in his eyes returns

* “I doubt he’ll feel the same once he finds out you drool in your sleep”

* You roll your eyes shoving him lightly which earns a laugh

* “I mean really (Y/N), it’s just a bit excessive innit? Most mornings your pillow is more drool than Cotten at this point, you should really get it checked-“

* You shove him harder laughing when he starts laughing

* “Big words from the boy who snores so loud his dorm mates left him floating on the lake”

* “It wasn’t my dorm mates, it was Fred and he did it to because I pretended I was him when I said something that upset Oliver Wood”

* Your eyebrows thread together

* Haven’t seen much of Oliver around now that quidditch has been canceled

* “What did you say?”

* George turns bright red and turns away

* “You’ve been spending an awful lot of time around that keeper for Hufflepuff lately” Wood was especially cranky as of late now that quidditch was canceled for the rest of the year

* And George doesn’t know why, but he gets so irked by it

* What does Wood care who he spends time with off the pitch? It’s not like he’s been taking it easy on you during matches or anything

* “It’s not my fault you don’t know how to talk to someone you’re attracted to”

* And then realizing how it sounded, and flushing red George claimed he was Fred

* He sounded like he was a jealous boyfriend or something

* It’s almost mortifying

* Almost

* “Nothing, don’t worry about it”

* And it’s the first sign for George that someone might have seen something in him that he hasn’t noticed

* But for now that doesn’t matter

* Because you’re here telling jokes like nothing’s changed

* When Ginny gets taken to the chamber you’re sitting with George and Fred in their dorm hugging them close

* You showed up outside their window on your broom, tapping on the glass until they opened it and enveloped you in a hug

* “Maybe it’s just one big mistake, and she’ll pop out any second saying she got lost on her way to the loo”

* “Maybe,” Fred says, but he doesn’t sound like he believes it

* “Everything’s going to be fine,” George says

* And you nod, because you really hope it does

* And by morning Ron and Harry show up covered in dirt with Ginny behind them who looks like she did at first

* With color on her face and vibrancy you haven’t seen on her all year

* “So good old Gildy was a fraud all along huh?”

* “Coulda fooled me”

* And then just like that you’re on the train home

* Joking with Harry, Ron, Ginny, Fred, and George about Percy’s secret girlfriend

* “It feels like it was just yesterday we were getting off the train and starting the year,” you say slightly wistful

* “Speak for yourself, Oliver Wood nearly killed me at practice with punishment drills for something I said apparently” Fred groans

* “Best to leave the adventuring to the young ones” George grins teasing you as you step onto the platform

* And just like that, it’s over

* And just like that it’ll be a new school year

* And the beginning of a new adventure

[jadedxrealityw]

-Rivals- Hermione Granger x Female Reader

    ☼-☪-☼

    Kody: I’m using the owls grading system for the story so if that’s not right, sue me i guess idk. 

    Movie/Show: Harry Potter, ignoring the storyline

    House/Year: Ravenclaw / 7th year

    Request:  Can I request a bold ravenclaw reader (her attitude almost could pass as a slytherin ngl) she's been Hermione's rival when it comes to grades and they DON'T get along very well. Reader is the opposite of mione's reserved personality. But rivals don't kiss and make out with each other secretly in the lavatory 😭 pls enemies to lovers (with some tension;) ykyk and then one day, they walk the great hall hand in hand and everyone is like don't they find each other insufferable?

    Possible Triggers/Warnings: if you don’t like lesbians get the hell off my page, sexual tension, enemies to lovers trope, cursing

    ☼-☪-☼

    love came unexpectedly at times, you learned that at young age from fairy tales and such. Well all kids did, but kids eventually grew up and came to the realization that fairy tales were exactly what they were, fairy tales. Fiction. Not real. 

    people could call you cold hearted or rude, but you would describe yourself as blunt or brutally honest. Never afraid to speak your mind or point out injustice when you saw fit. To put it simpler terms, professors at Hogwarts preferred you didn’t speak at times. 

    “Your too outspoken Ms. L/n” 

    “Stick to your academics Ms. L/n”

    “You wouldn’t be in detention so much so if kept your mouth shut Ms. L/n”

    merlin, you were exhausted of hearing your own last name. You guessed the only reason you weren’t reprimanded as worse as the Weasley Twins was because you were one of Hogwarts brightest witches, always excelled in academics, in every subject. 

    you couldn’t explain it to others even if you tried other then it just came naturally. Your parents, when they were attended Hogwarts were both just as naturally skilled in there studies as you were. So you must have inherited there ‘big brain’ as your mother said many times before.

    you were never one to gloat though, it was never your style. You were more humble about what you could accomplish. That was until she got involved. That egoistical, hypocritical, Gryffindor girl. Hermione Granger became the bane of your existence early into your fifth year. 

   until then Ms. Granger had been the top of all her classes, no one even came close to her intelligence, naming her ‘The Brightest Witch At Hogwarts’ and Hermione wore that title with pride. Being a Muggle born put a target on her head as well as stereotypes.

    most students and some staff almost immediately came to the conclusion she wasn’t capable of achieving goals that regular half or pure bloods could. It was a terrible way to think, but it was unfortunately the reality of being involved with the wizarding world. 

   Hermione was lucky to have friends like she did that cared about her no matter who she was or what she became, but it didn’t stop her need to feel validated in her academics. It was the one thing no one could giver her shit for, because she was the best at it and no one else was. 

   until that fateful fifth year that was mentioned earlier. It was the time when you finally got your mind and heart into your studie. You blew past most of the student body rather quickly, earning the title of the fastest turn around at Hogwarts.

    it was nice

    then it wasn’t, for Hermione of course 

    ☼-☪-☼

    fifth year / past

    “It seems we have two students with an Outstanding this time around” Professor Flitwick spoke as the exams from the previous week had landed neatly onto the wooden desk in front of you. “congratulations Ms. Granger and Ms. L/n”

    Hermione’s head perked up like a cat who had heard a bag of hard food shake from the nest room over, eager. She had never heard that name before, it didn’t come as much as an surprise though considering how big Hogwarts was. She leant to the left where Harry Potter sat. 

    “Who’s L/n? Do you know her?” she asked, casually though Harry knew her better then most. He gave her a half hearted shrug “No clue, try Ron” he suggests. Hermione nods once before leaning over to the right, where the Weasley sat, scowling at his exam. 

    “Mum’s going to kill me” he muttered, bringing no reaction to Granger’s face. He never studied. “Ron, do you know who this L/n is?” she repeated the question she gave to Harry. Ron turns his head away from the parchment and to Hermione. 

   his brows furrowed as he searches the corners of his mind for where he had heard the name from, until the visible light bulb popped over his head- well not so visible actually. “Oh um- Y/n L/n. she’s a Ravenclaw, her parents are certified geniuses. They work at the ministry. Department of magical education”

   his words did not soothe the wracking thought in the young Granger’s mind. “Certified geniuses?” Hermione echos. “If that’s so how come she’s only getting Outstandings now? she must have cheated somehow” she thought aloud. 

    “I surely didn’t cheat”

   like an owl Hermione’s head turned over her shoulder, her two Gryffindor pals doing the same. In her sight was a girl, her age, in a Ravenclaw robe. She had S/C skin with H/L H/C hair and E/C eyes that were staring back at her. Hermione was almost stunned into silence- keyword being almost. 

    “the explain the good grade all of the sudden, L/n?”

   you looked rather confused. You had never met the girl and she was accusing you of cheating because you had never gotten an Outstanding before? Was this a prank of some sort or fever dream? “I studied for once. You have no right accusing me, i don’t even know you that well”

    Harry placed a hand upon Hermione’s shoulder, signaling for her to stop before she caused a scene. Looking back, she should have listened “No right? I have a right to point out people who are just trying to cheat their way through school while people like us actually care about our grades”

    what the Gryffindor girl wasn’t expecting was for you to start laughing. Her friend, Cho Chang joining in, finding it just as equally hilarious. Hermione’s face turned just as bright as Ron’s hair. “What is so funny?” you and Cho slowly come to a stop, breathing in and out. 

    “what’s funny is that your ego is so incredibly large, so much so that it can’t comprehend that someone, not a Gryffindor either was able to match your intelligence. Now shove off ” you said it all with a grin on your face, because you certainly knew you were right. 

    and from that day, you both despised each other

    ☼-☪-☼

    seventh year / present

    and with every exam, every questioned called on by a teacher, you fastly became Hermione’s rival. It was a term Cho used, but you didn’t really see it that way since you weren’t competing with her. You never studied harder to make sure you got the same grade, never tried to sabotage her in any way. 

    you didn’t care much about it actually

    but you did quite enjoy her face, the way her nostrils flared up an her cheeks turned a bright red in anger. It was cute seeing her so mad. Sending er a wink or sly grin when she glared at you became a daily routine as well. When at first you ignored her you now loved annoying her.

    never having to say a word was probably your favorite part. 

    that’s probably when feelings began to mix into it, but you either didn’t notice or refuse to acknowledge them at all. You genuinely thought you hated this girl, so why in the world would you ever think you liked her? Makes sense, right? Were not even going to mention the questioning your sexuality.

    “Sit still while i pass out your exams from yesterday. Once you recieve your paper you may get up and leave” 

    “You think if Snape got laid he wouldn’t be such a prick?” the Slytherin boy spoke, leaning towards you. turning your head ever so slightly, you lock eyes with Draco “Why are you even sitting here?” you whisper back, giving him a mock astonished look.

   he rolls his grey eyes, shrugging his shoulders “You never talk to me outside of class anymore” he grumbles. Is he- Is this- What is happening? “That’s because your a little shit and pushed Neville in the hallway yesterday” yeh, you caught his dumbass. 

    Draco’s eyes widen a bit, not knowing you had been in the hallway during the crime. “You saw that?- what are you his protector?” he says, clearly as an insult, but oh little did he know that you were indeed exactly what he just said and would say it with pride.

    “Yes-”

    “Ms. L/n, Outstanding as usual as well Mr. Malfoy. Good work, the both of you” Snape places the exams in front of each of you, but you were both to busy staring in shock. This bitter, old, mean, crude man just compliment you. Merlin, you had finally gotten fathers approval

    (what in the fuck am i writing)

    “Is this heaven?” Draco questioned, staring bug eyed forward. 

    “No”

    “How do you know?”

    “Cormac is here”

    “Yeah your right, feelings over” both you and Draco sighed, turning to look at each other before laughing quietly. He was a pretty chill dude sometimes. “What!?” the loud screech filled your ears. All heads turned behind you, so you followed that and saw the one and only Hermione Granger. 

    she was huffing and puffing. You feared for the stick and straw houses in the world for a moment. Harry quickly stood up and pushed her shoulders down, forcing her back into her seat “I've never gotten an Exceeds Expectations before” Hermione sputters out. 

    she

    got

    what

    now?

    oh this was rich, absolutely hilarious, so much so that Draco had already began to laugh. “Poor Granger, guess you really aren’t the brightest witch” he taunted. Hermione looked up, glaring daggers at the Slytherin. Merlin, he had such a big mouth.

    then her brown eyes strayed to you, but you only pursed your lips together, providing her no emotion to work off of. In a haste, she collected her things, leaving the cursed exam on the table nd rushing out the door, both Ron and Harry calling out for her. 

    fuck

    standing up, you grab your bag and look down at Draco. His laughter comes to an end and he looks up at you “What?” he asked. You copied his dementor singers from third year, making him look at your hands. You took that time to reach down and flick his forehead. 

    he pulls away, his palm rubbing his head in circles “Bloody hell, what was that for?!” he exclaimed. What an idiot. “This is why we don’t hang out” you deadpan before finally going to exit the classroom, leaving a grumbling, mumbling Draco. Something about you being  ‘mean friend’

    ☼-☪-☼

    only having ten minutes until Charms class you began to search the halls. Merlin where had she run off too? The school wasn’t THAT big- okay maybe it was. You had almost called quits, making a mental note to check up on her during lunch when you passed the restroom.

    sniffling and crys were heard. You’ll admit, it kind off hurt to hear. Taking a few steps backwards, you use the palm off your hand to slowly push the door open so it wouldn’t creak like the old shit it was. When it was open just enough for you to fit through, you slip in. 

    gazing around, you see Hermione bent over the sink, sobbing. You could hear her voice becoming rougher by the second as she destroyed her vocal cords. “Granger?” you say, staying a few feet behind her. Hermione looks up in the mirror, spotting you behind her. 

    her distraught expression quickly shifted to anger “You” she seethed. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion “Me?” you say back, crossing your arms. “Leave me the hell alone L/n!” she shouts, angry tears flooding down her cheeks. Raising your hands, you offer your surrender.

    “Shit, sorry. I was just trying to see if you were okay” you admit. Hermione turns on her heels, facing you directly this time before speaking “Oh so now your my friend, your a bully! All you do is step on my toes and try to make me look like a fool!”

    “Are you on fucking drugs Granger? Not once have i ever gone out my way to harm you of any sort. Your the one who is obsessed with trying to be better then me and i never gave a shit. I never wanted to be your rival for three years and i certainly never bullied you!”

    the words you spoke went out one of Hermione’s ears and out the other. For someone as smart as her, she could be quite dense when angry “You don’t get to play the saint, L/n! I have spent those three years studying as hard as i can and you don’t even have to try!” 

   throwing your hands up in the air a crazy person because she was honestly starting to make your brain hurt quite a bit, you laugh loudly “Oh my- no one asked you too! What is so wrong with us being the same?! ” you shouted, finally raising your voice as much as she had.

    “Because your not a Muggle! You don’t know what it’s like to have everyone you meet already assume your not worth their time just because your parents aren’t witches or wizards!” she crept towards you and which each step she took you took a step right the fuck back.

    this chick wasn’t going to hit you, right?

    “I have never judged you for your blood status Granger, i frankly could care less. What i do judge you for is you know, the giant ego thing” you spat back only causing her to gasp in offense “I do not have an ego!” she yells, stepping into your boundaries basically.

   you had tried to back up like before, but you were pressed up against a wall at this point. “Yes you do and it’s as big as Hagrid!” you reply. Hermione grabs the collar of your white uniform shirt, pulling you down a bit so her face was inches from yours, trying to intimidate you.

    “Take it back!” she threatens. In that moment your eyes scanned her face, noting her almost perfect skin, her brown eyes that looked more hazel up close then far away, and her lips. They looked so soft and inviting. You couldn’t quite understand why you were thinking like this all of the sudden.

    but it felt right, so right

    in a swift motion you place your lips on Hermione’s. You had thought she’d pull away, but only half a second later her arms were wrapped around your neck, pulling you as close as possible to her. You tangled one of your hands into her light brown wavy mess and the other pushed on the small of her back. 

    the kiss was messy and sloppy, not amount of anything really could make it appropriate. How did you two go from fighting to almost ripping each others uniforms off? A question no one could really answer but yourself as well Hermione. 

    it was over as soon as it began with Hermione pulling away, leaning her forehead against yours. You could make out the small smile on her face, it made you smile as well. “That was-” she started to speak, but was stopped by her own laughter. 

    “Yeah” you breathed out. What had just happened?

        ☼-☪-☼

    four months later

    ever since that day you and Hermione would casually meet up in the lavatory to kiss and feel up on each other after, btween, during classes. Anything really. You both had also not interacted at all outside of these visits. Just stayed away from each other as much as possible.

    most people thought you two had either made up after three years of rivalry or had decided to no longer interact with each other at all. Little did they know right? Speaking of that, you pull away from Hermione, panting for air “We have divination in three minutes” you spoke. 

   her face turned to worry instantly making you grin to yourself “Godric, i have to get out of here. Wait a couple minutes” she gathered her belongings and rushed out the restroom not even leaving you with an goodbye kiss. How rude. After about five minutes or so you leave as well

    once you get to class you look around the room and spot Hermione already sat with Harry and Ron on one side of the arch like sitting area for the students. “Y/n!” oh not again. Turning your head to the right, you spt the Slytherin boy with his mates.

   this guy just doesn’t quit. You plop yourself next to Draco Malfoy “I thought you were going to ignore me again” he admits. Ignoring his statement, you gaze around the people at your table “Where’s Parkinson? If i’m going to be stuck with you gits and Theo i rather it be with her” 

   Theo cracks a smile while Draco rolls his eyes “She’s sick, stuck in her dorms” he explains. You nod mindlessly and look over at Hermione. She was brushing through her hair with her fingers, trying to make it look like you weren’t tugging on it just minutes ago. 

    “What’s that on your neck?” Harry asks, moving the top part of Hermione’s robe with his finger, causing her to swat his hand away “It’s just a bug bite” she says with haste. quick thinking, that’s kinda cute. For some odd reason you liked seeing her explain her way out of a hickey that you gave her. 

    class soon started, but you kept your inventive gaze on her. It was adorable how she would catch you staring and turn a nice shade of red. It brought a smug smile to your face each time. Professor Trelawney had called upon Hermione to ask a question, but she seemed to be too busy avoiding your gaze. 

    “My dear, Ms. Granger” Trelawney said for maybe the third time until Hermione finally fell back down to reality. She looked at the Professor who gave her a kind smile “Oh um-” the Gryffindor put on a nervous smile, her eyes looking to you. You sent her a wink.

    merlin you were such an asshole

    Hermione looked at her lap, trying to muster up the words, any words actually. Her savior wore glasses “Hermione isn’t feeling to well. Can Ron and i take her to the hospital wing?” Harry asked. What a buzzkill. Trelawney nods, waving her hand to the direction of the door. 

    Harry tapped Hermione’s shoulder while Ron grabbed her things and off they went. 

        ☼-☪-☼

    a week later

    “I have to head to dinner, you should too. I saw that you didn’t eat during lunch” Hermione spoke, buttoning her uniform shirt. You smile, looking into the mirror so you could fix your hair “Watching me Granger?” you ask, turning away from your reflection.

    “You know i worry about your health” she said, which only made your smile wider “What is that stupid smile for?’ Hermione questions, an amused laugh in her tone. Shrugging, you lean against the sink counter “Stupid? I thought you liked my quote on quote ‘Goofy smile’” 

    Hermione shakes her head, grabbing her bag from the floor “I better see you at dinner or i’ll drag you there myself” she said playfully. An idea popped into your mind. “Then drag me” you smirk, tilting your head to the left. Hermione looks at you, shaking her head again. “You know i can’t”

    “Why not? It’s been four months. I would like to be your-” you stopped mid sentence. You both had never really gave each other labels before. It was always just the casual make out and flirting, but now you were much more. Fuck it “I would like to be your girlfriend in public”

    Hermione’s brow eyes went wide as she heard those words. It becoming a little too real. You saw her conflicted face and immediately felt some sort of shame. Averting your gaze to the ground, you take a deep breath. “Forget i said anything” 

    “No!- i mean. I’m ready. Plus i’m tired of being distracted by you during class” Hermione lightened the mood just a tad. You look back up at her, cracking a half smile “I’m most likely still going to distract you” you point out, making her chuckle. Cute.

    she inhales sharply “Let’s do this” she states confidently, letting out the breath. She reached out, opening her hand for you to grab. In that small gesture, you knew you would be with this woman for as long as you lived. Grabbing her hand, you intertwined your fingers with hers. 

    ☼-☪-☼

    hand in hand, you walk into the great hall. Heads turned and pupils dialated at the sight of you and Hermione walking in together. You honestly felt a little self conscious until you saw the bright smile of Cho and Luna as well as Draco who gave you a hidden thumbs up.

    both you and Hermione took  seat at the Gryffindor table. “So Hermione, how long as this been going on?” Harry asked. Hermione glances at you before her best friend “Four months, one week.” she said, gleaming with pride at her memory. 

    Harry looked taken aback at the time, but gave you both a smile “Well at least you both are getting along finally” he says, Ron nodding beside “Yeah- getting along” the Weasley jokes. You laugh a bit before leaning over to kiss the temple of Hermione's head. 

    rivals am i right?

        ☼-☪-☼

    Click here to join my Taglist so you never miss a new story from me!

    @the--queen-of-hell @sonbelleame @dracosathenaeum @queeriacs @marrymetheonott

    ☼-☪-☼

    Kody- Aye look its 10 am and i haven’t slept. Good night, my requests are open blah blah. Anyways, peace. 

[axregularxgirl]

I was reading an article about J.K Rowling's writting just to make sure I wasn't the only one thinking bad of her storytelling and then I get this:

"The Dursleys, set up in the first book as being important, are sidelined for the majority of the series, becoming no more than ugly cameos with no serious development except at the last minute."

I believe people are okay with the Dursley's having little to no importance to the story because they were introduced in Sorcerer's Stone as a clear metaphor of "normies", common traditionalist people who are afraid of changing and excludent of the different; and also a metaphor of a non-welcoming, unfair and hostile world from which both the protagonist and the reader want to ESCAPE, not to GET CLOSE.

But Rowling missed a chance to use Harry's troubled relationship with the Dursley's as a parallel to the Pure-blood hate against Muggles. We know from the beginning that witches were hunted down and killed in the Middle Ages, although Rowling minimized this fact by creating the flame freeze spell, and doesn't it make sense that wizards also harbor resentment of Muggles for this? Harry used magic once against Aunt Marge because she actively pursued and offended the boy and his parents. He said bluntly before running away from home she deserved her fate, so why not take revenge at all a society that persecuted and killed innocents solely out of fear, prejudice and obedience to a social establishment?

I'm not sating that the Death Eaters were right to hunt down and kill muggleborns nor that their hatred towards blood-mixed families was fair, but it would have brought more nuance and depth to the story if Harry had been forced to consider that however inadequate the villains' attitude was they have a point as Harry himself hates the Muggle World and his Muggle family which if he could he would never see again. Muggles can be just as bad and malicious as wizards even if they don't have magical abilities. I wonder why Voldemort never used this information to convince Harry that his cause was just, or at least plausible.

In a deleted scene from the movies, we see Potter talking to his aunt Petunia, he wants to rush her in their escape from Voldemort and claims she has no idea what the Dark Lord is capable of, to which Petunia replies that actually she knows" because in the night you [Harry] lost a mother I lost a sister".

A lot of fans disapproved that line but I think it was one of the most interesting lines Lily Evans' sister ever said. We know that Petunia hated her sister because of her magical powers, but that feeling never develops beyond pure fear or envy.

Was there nothing about her sister that Petunia approved of? Hadn't there been good family days when Lily still didn't manifest her powers? And how was it for her to realize that her sister received more attention and praise from her parents for being able to do things she could never do even though deep down she wanted to? This exclusion and isolation produced by the clash of differences between the sister, resulted in a spiteful and resentful woman whose child she cannot fail even when necessary for fear of making him feel flawed and inadequate as she has felt in the past. A similar path Filch and Snape did have, characters who also have suffered terribly with persecution, mockery and bullying.

But why is Harry the only one who can an opportunity to have closure, to grow and evolve from his initial traumatic situation while the three of them don't? Snape dies a slow, painful and lonely death and Filch and Petunia are hated to this day as characters who are just obnoxious even if they had a dark past of negligence and even abuse in the case of Filch who turned them into what they are now. I hope some day in the future we may get any reboots who have the sensitivity to get deeply into these issues, but for now I'm content to just daydream about it and read some good fanfics.

Oh, the article I was talking about is this :

https://jpcrocks.wordpress.com/2020/04/30/rowling/amp/