#hard to explain lmao GETTING BETTER FOR SURE THO

[blitz0hno]

"unmedicated undiagnosed ADHD gang" bitch our ADHD ain't even unmedicated despite being undiagnosed, it's not Adderall or anything but technically our anxiety meds get prescribed for ADHD as well..... Would be so cool if I remember to take it more than every few days

[asterdeer]

video called "pirate shirt tutorial that actually makes sense" with a thumbnail clickbaitingly copying bernadette banner's style, which does the exact same thing as bernadette banner's video but more confusingly and without a diagram in the video itself, also failing to understand that bernadette banner's channel is primarily a history channel and not a sewing tutorial channel so telling people they don't have to hand-sew the pirate shirt or they don't have to thread-pull is unnecessary because bernadette banner literally said "do this however you want, i just do it this way because it's how i learn about historical dress practices" in her own video. couldn't ask for better youtube entertainment

[sillyunknownkitkat]

hihi!! could i please request a ink sans x reader, in which the reader adores physical touch? tysm!!! Please take as much time as you need, and if you don't feel up to it, please ignore this!! <33

Ink Sans x clingy/touchy reader

[Btw sorry it's posted this late :( I hope you like it, tho!]

Now, we all know (I think) that Ink doesn't have any feelings of his own, he's has to take the vials to feel something right?

While I feel like he could be in a relationship, I hope you're not too sensitive because he doesn't actually love you because, you know, he literally can't feel any emotion

Also, I'm pretty sure that it's canon that he has a very bad memory (He doesn't have a soul, so he's just living). So he'll probably forget about you..

"But why would he ask me out then?" You may ask. Well, it's probably because someone in the Noot Noot gang (I stand by this name) or Error has a crush on you. He's just messing with them

Or maybe you belong to an Au where you being with him would create an unexpected reaction (at least to his eyes)

I have headcanons about the start sanses if you'd like more depth to this, but Blue will send reminder to Ink so he doesn't hurt you by forgetting you or something. He's definitely not happy that Ink is using you, but at the same time, he doesn't want to break your heart/soul by telling you the truth.

Dream probably avoids you. He doesn't know what to do, honestly.

Well, let's ACTUALLY start making headcanons for what you asked (after breaking you, lmao)

At first, he was really weird about it. He didn't get why you felt like you had to be glued to him to feel good, but after some recherches, (don't think I spelled that right but wtv) well more like after harrasing Blue about it, he understood. Well, no, not really, but he kinda gets the point

So when he's with you, he'll try to give you as much attention as he can. If he remembers you in the first place.

It goes from awkwardly patting you on the back to laying himself on top of you to clinging to you to the point that you can't move

Yeah... it's all or nothing with Ink, but hey! You got your touch (　＾∀＾)

No, but for real, you deserve way better, I'm sorry, but it is what it is

He's not a good guy, but it could be interesting to be friend with him if you do anything special around in the multiverse

Like he takes advantage of you, but I don't think it's that hard enough to take advantage of him either, actually

I'm so sorry for this, you waited so long and for what? Me telling you that it's pretty much impossible. (　ＴДＴ)

No, but for real, if you want to, I can explain why I feel that way about him, but like- I can't fake liking him 100%

I do think he's a really awesome character but he's not good per say (does this make any sense?)

Well I need sleep lol

Have a good day/night and again I'm so sorry for this garbage

[buckysgrace]

Gator Tillman Headcanons

Just some random thoughts I had about baby boy tonight <3

I for sure think he was born premature? A teeny tiny little baby with big brown eyes lol.

Definitely got doted on because of his huge eyes and messy hair. Very hyper kid too, always needed to be doing something. Probably a biter tbh (spanked a lot sadly smh)

Threw an absolute fit when he was itty bitty and they were weening him off of the pacifier. That was his paci damn it!

Grew to love snakes because his mom hated them and he was quick to remove them from her garden. He thought it was funny to chase her while holding them

Roy use to make Linda keep it in a buzz cut because he hated how long it was on Gator. Thus, leaving Gator to find his own style when he was old enough.

He definitely showed cattle when he was younger. His favorite cow was named Rosie and he won several ribbons for how well kept she was <3

Knows how to ride a horse but doesn't have a desire to do so. Plus his lower back and hips are always so sore after

Prefers dogs over cats, but you best believe any time a cat is around him they're all up in his business

I also think he struggled with asthma when he was little too?? He hasn't had an attack in years but still carries an inhaler around

(don't bring up him vaping while having asthma, he gets very defensive and irritated lol)

Never been out of his hometown unless he needed to travel for competitions or for work. Probably never been on a real vacation before either.

I think he was always tall and lanky but stopped growing his sophomore year of high school?? He always wanted to be taller tho

Was in the FFA obviously.

Being an all-state quarter back I'm sure he had a ton of college offers? I imagine he was fairly average in school, probably enjoyed science more than anything else

Had a really hard time after his mom "left". I think he had a lot of anger issues at this time

His leg injury blew away any chances of him really believing that he could do better for himself, so he followed in Roys footsteps

He gets cold easy, so he always bundles up into layers and layers.

Sucks at cooking. Could not boil water to save his life. I think that he'd take cooking lessons later in life (or learn from someone hehe)

Has a surprisingly good green thumb if he'd keep up with it

Enjoys drawing in his free time and is actually really good at it.

Cannot survive anywhere where it gets too hot. He burns easily

He's in church every Sunday (sometimes Wednesday nights too, depending on his shifts) but it doesn't stop his potty mouth

Car lover of course. Likes to work on vehicles too. Occasionally welds I believe.

Loves going to car shows, or to tractor pulls lol

Most of his tattoos were random, little afterthoughts or done while he was drunk. I think he bought his own tattoo kit but opted out of it.

Flirts like a middle school boy. Will poke and prod at you, lots and lots of teasing. If you meet at a bar you best believe he's gonna be showing you all of his cool drinking tricks lol

A surprisingly good big brother, although Karen thinks he's a bad influence so he doesn't get to spend much time with them

Big fan of Game of Thrones but also loves Golden Girls lmao. And Westerns.

Does that thing where he acts like he's not interested in what's on TV but then he stands there with his hands on his hips watching the whole time lol

Do not ask him to pick you up something for the store, he will not find it

When he's high on weed he's very giggly; thinks everything is hilarious. Will absolutely lay underneath the stars and try to explain the way the universe works. Very snuggly and has the worst munchies (devours a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos in one sitting smh)

Will drink coffee (usually with a protein shake mixed in) but he 100% prefers energy drinks

Jack Daniels and PBR are obviously his drinks of choice hehe. Although he does love a good margarita occasionally

Absolutely devours some Taco Bell after he gets off the night shift. He always gets a box with a chalupa, beefy 5-layer burrito, and the fiesta potatoes but he's also getting a cheesy gordita crunch and the Cinnabon delights. And a Baja Blast. Mans has worked hard and he's hungry lmao

Hates ankle socks

For a late night snack he is breaking open something sweet. I imagine he prefers Heath bars and 100 Grand Bars.

He also loves carrot cake

[elulsdr]

WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU?

PILE 1 PILE 2 PILE 3

hey guys, it's my first pac ever so i would love to have your feedback. this pac also has random messages too rather than what do people think about you.

it's mainly about the messages i got. i hope it resonates⭐️ (i swear i'm better at personal readings LMAO)

PILE 1

people think you're very self oriented and love to have the power over them. maybe you have leader qualities and they can see that. i'd say they think you're more likely to choose logic over emotions. they think you're def the overthinker one. they know you know you're worth and know when and what to say something. they can feel that you like to be seen as cold hearted and powerful. in your head being numb equals having power. people think you're very materalistic as in, whatever you wear you make it seem expensive. people think you're very soft inside but don't let a lot people in. sometimes they can sense that deep down you're really insecure and they can see the other side of you. where you're not sure of anything you do, you don't trust yourself enough. sometimes you come off as really complex and a lot. you seem to be stuck on something. you want to let it go but can't really do it cause you get used to it. so that's why people can sense your imbalance energy. you could be indecisive or air headed these days. still, people know you have the strength to get over it. you could intimidate people at first but when they see the real you -which you dont show it to many they love it. maybe you got hurt on the past, that's why you put a mask like that. you could be very obsessive, and passionate about the things you love. you come off as competitive too.

PILE 2

oooh my broken heart pile.. if you recently gone through a breakup, doesnt matter if it's romantic or friends. people see youve been thru ALOT. you show it to everyone whether youre aware of it or not. people can sense the broken energy. you keep trying to explain your feelings? or what happened between you and the other person and they're like, can she move on already?? but it's cruel to think like that. cause i feel like this relationship somehow connected to your inner child. maybe the relationship helped you with healing your inner child that's why you felt those emotions that hard. people think you're sensitive and a romantic. everything i said was in the past, your energy now seems very refreshing and stepping ahead. also i have a really bad headache rn, are u ok? take care of your health and make sure you sleep enough. you have many sleepless nights. anyways, people see your steps to a better life. although you might got addicted to the new me concept and ignore everyone who tries to help you or tries to talk to you. you're like, i don't want your help i've been by myself all this long i can take care of myself from now on. they are a bit annoyed by this. they think you're a bit stubborn. DEF a hopeless romantic. don't try to burden everything and try to move on with your life asap. take your time to heal. and take people's help -only the ones who really care tho. aww i just got the 3 of swords. pls keep your precious heart safe bby. your love is enough and you will find someone that loves you as much as you love them. (wow pile 2's photo says the exact same thing, i didnt mean to do that lol)

PILE 3

hey pile 3, why do you feel so alone even if you're out with your friends? you like to ask people for advice but somehow you don't trust them as much as you trust yourself. i mean good for you but people -maybe your friends can tell that you're faking your feelings sometimes? maybe you feel the need to be happy around everyone even if you feel like shit. they can tell that. there's this person you are stuck on. it seems like you arent able to let them go. people really wonder about you guys. you could be a heartbreaker too. you and your friends are sarcastic people. people could get annoyed by the fact that you guys have fun lol. people think you have it all and you will have it all. they dont like the fact that they cant get a piece of you, your space, your time. it's like, there are people who want you but you got someone else on your mind who you seem to cant have. you like to learn more and more. you're very smart and people like that. but there's just this unknown people love about you. you have the friends, you have the grades, you have the face but what is it that makes you sad(?) and broken? people wonder the shit out of this lmao and you don't give them a chance to understand it. you tend to zone out a lot during the day and your thoughts makes you go nuts. people just seem to curious about you. they don't know enough. the more you don't give them the chance the more they wonder. people feel that you have tons of other shit to do than answer their questions. they know they don't deserve to steal your time like that.

[strwberri-milk]

May I ask for pup reader who has constant nightmares? You can make it as angst ridden as you like as I'd like to have kaeya, diluc, and or Zhongli please.

The pup tossin' n turnin' in the night and they wake up in a cold sweat or crying regularly. They go downstairs to get some tea to calm their rattled nerves. The guys find their s/o and hug n' comfort them, trynna get their tail wagging again before taking them back upstairs to fall asleep to their comforting words and a 200+ pound weighted blanket of a man ontop of them

guys i have so much hybrid stuff im going to just make a seperate hybrid reader masterlist for kaeya lmao - this isn't super hybriddy focused tho and is heavy on the comfort side as a heads up so not very angsty

Kaeya's a pretty light sleeper whenever you sleep lightly. It's hard to explain but if you aren't going to be sleeping well then he's going to also not sleep very well. This means you feel doubly as bad whenever you end up waking him from a nightmare.

You tried your best to be quieter this time, giving Kaeya a kiss on his cheek as he somehow remained asleep for once before slinking down to the kitchen to get yourself something to calm you down.

You aren't there for very long when you hear Kaeya's sluggish steps following after you, yawning as he immediately drapes himself over you. He doesn't need to say anything, still incredibly tired but you can already feel yourself coming down from your nerves as you lightly nuzzle into his neck.

He puts his hand on your head, gently petting your ears the way he knows you like and presses lazy little kisses on your neck before staring back up at you, wordlessly asking if you're alright. You shrug a little, jostling his chin and he comes around to pull you into the front of his body with as tight a hug he can muster for having just woken up.

You rest your ear against his chest, listening to the calm beating of his heart to calm you down. Slowly, your heart ends up matching his pace as your tail swings accordingly. Kaeya was watching carefully, waiting for your tail to perk up a little more before he took you back to bed with him.

Once you were wagging at an acceptable speed he gives you a soft kiss as congratulations for feeling better before dragging you back up to bed. You're laughing a little as he lightly pushes you to get on the mattress, still laughing as he tucks you in via a weighted mattress.

You think that's all he has, expecting him to finally say something or just crawl into bed with you but he just crawls on top of you. Kaeya sprawls out, further squshing you more with his added weight but you don't mind it. It really is comforting, and since you're laying on your side your tail thumps against the bed happily as you manage to fall asleep again.

Diluc was already awake when you woke up. You weren't able to fall asleep with him as he was busy preparing for some big event. He had intended to go to sleep shortly, almost done for the night when he hears you sneaking past his office. He decides that he'll give you a second, hoping that you'll come to where he is to talk about whatever it is that woke you up.

When you seem to be gone for a while he decides to follow your presumed path, having done this many times before. It made sense to him that you'd most likely be trying to self soothe before going to sleep. He rolls up his sleeves and knocks on the wall to avoid scaring you too much.

The teary look in your eyes makes him frown, immediately coming over and pulling you into his arms. He tries to ask you what your dream was, hoping that he'd be able help you rationalise it out so you could go back to sleep easier.

You told him as much as you could, Diluc reassuring you more by running his hands down your back and holding you tightly so you can ground yourself in him. He hums and nods, making sure you know he's listening as he leads you back to bed.

You continue to talk to him as he tucks you back in, putting your head in his lap as you begin to get distracted by Diluc's hair looking a little crazy from not sleeping. He laughs with you, teasing you as well for looking a little messy from waking up so suddenly. He continues to give you more soft touches, hands brushing over your ears and tail and you begin to calm down, agitation leaving your body as you become less restless.

The two of you talk like that for a while more before you fall asleep in his lap, Diluc carefully getting out from under you and getting ready to sleep himself. He looks at you underneath the weighted blanket, deciding that since you like the feeling so much, he'll hold you just like that.

He lays down right next to you, pulling you a little closer to him as he squirms his way onto your chest and legs. He's a little afraid of putting all of his body weight on you at once, deciding just half of his weight should be good enough. You cuddle into him immediately despite being asleep, Diluc's soft smile remaining even as he sleeps with you.

Zhongli didn't notice that you were awake for a little while. He was deep asleep after all but when he reached out to find out and couldn't, he immediately made a beeline for the kitchen.

He finds you there, sipping a glass of tea before laughing just a bit and joining you. You raise a brow, slightly confused as to why he's laughing before he points at the tea canister. You ended up accidentally brewing green tea, sighing to yourself as you realise you're going to totally be unable to sleep for the rest of the night.

Zhongli doesn't mind at all, taking a cup for himself as he talks to you. He decides to avoid directly confronting your nightmare, telling you some abstract story you can barely follow due to being half awake.

However, it distracts you enough that you don't notice your ears have perked up due to interest, tail wagging a little when he gets to an amusing part of his story. You manage to laugh a bit and contribute to the conversation, forgetting the nightmare you had in the first place.

The two of you end up staying up for the rest of the night. Zhongli asks you what he can do to help you in the future, not wanting to do something wrong and you just shake your head and tell him he did amazing.

Eventually, the topic of your dream finally comes up, telling him all about it. You can see how concerned he is for you, holding your hand as you get all of the negative feelings off your chest. Zhongli listens kindly, thanking you for confiding in him. He knows it might not be the easiest thing for you to do, and really does appreciate you telling him.

The two of you end up needing to go back to sleep fairly early in the morning, both becoming incredibly drowsy. Before he can wrap you up in the regular blanket, you pull out the weighted one and pout at him cutely, amusing him further as he puts it on you. You put your arms out, gesturing for him to lay atop you. He does as you ask, a little confused but doing it anyway. You look too happy when he does it so he decides he should do this more often for you.

Now, he makes sure that the green tea and whichever your favourite is when you can't sleep are put far apart so you don't make the same mistake again.

[bee-named-alex]

Ok so the promised thoughts about Interview with the Vampire s2e5 (keep in mind that i haven't read the books, i've only seen some posts by people who have) SPOILERS

This episode was... heavy I guess is the right word. Pretty dark. Some things real fucked up. But also like emotionally.

I'll start with the nice thing, which is the Daniel and Louis dynamic; I really enjoy their present selfs, finding out their memories together. I like that Daniel even seems to be disappointed when Louis say that they didn't do anything lmao. Yeah and them in past is super fun too, at least at the start; Louis being happy with, Daniel "I did what I had to" Molloy taking of his shirt the moment he gets an excuse to do so.

It's interesting tho, the way Louis talks about Lestat has changed. But yeah, time passes and changes perspective (or maybe they have met after this sometimes and that changed it, but in that case i would have to ask where is lestat now)

And I think talking about the 70s takes immense trust on both parts, but especially Daniel's. I mean uncovering what he knows is risky, even without Armand in there.

Speaking of, I like that we get to hear how he likes to hunt; they tell us ("he's gonna be begging for it in an hour" or something like that) and show us with Daniel, that Armand likes his victims to be so mentally broken by him that they basically offer themselves up to him (similar to what Santiago does on stage)

Now that I've opened up Armand's behaviour, I'll talk a little about their fight. Like I get it. I get them both, Armand more than I thought I would. But fucking christ. They are both saying the hard truths (which i doubt is common in their relationship) and so it's spicy.

Louis bringing up Armand's past is fucked. But also Armand being so jealous of Lestat, like he's been their whole relationship; i like to see that, this seed of hatred and resentfulness that keeps hurting them even in present day.

And then Louis runs out and that is something i did not see coming and i feel so bad for him, like omg. And the way Armand acts towards him then feels really cruel but in the light of their fight i guess he gets to be angry (but i still dont like it)

Armand listening to the tapes and promptly torturing Daniel for four fucking days. Crazy. I mean yea this is "Torture as foreplay, the show" but still? Mental.

I wholeheartedly agree with "Fuck your boyfriend"

I'm not actually tho sure if he's torturing him for the fun of it or out of jeaulosy or if he actually wants to find out "what makes him fascinating" but still, jesus (He really said, you could be on your knees in a second and you WILL, lol)

The Lestat-Armand scene broke my heart. This means that they both know that Lestat is alive because Louis didn't look at all surprised that he is, only shocked that Armand knew where he was. So id like to know if he actually found out (when? how??) or if he just assumed.

Now, what is Armand trying to do here? If it's to hurt Louis, he's successful but it hurts me to think that's it. If it's actually to make Louis happy, than he's doing it all wrong, like Louis tells him like a million times to stop. If it's to show that he's better, or like to give Louis a choice and hope he's the chosen one, I mean I guess? Still don't get it tho.

I really like that he refuses to say the "I love you", because, well, I'm not sure about the intentions, but to me it shows that he is scared that Louis would leave him if he knew. Which is not an unfounded fear really, not from the point of view of someone who's been listening to the tapes and hearing Lestat, Lestat, Lestat... over and over again. I think that the tapes kinda confirm Armand's fears that he isn't "enough" for Louis and could never be enough because he just isn't Claudia and he just isn't Lestat.

And the talk after that scene, "he is just my maker" yea no we both know you're lying. But then they explain why Armand's acting kinda like a servant to Louis (because to be tired of cleaning messes, you would have to have cleaned a lot of messes), because he's trying to undo something that happened in Paris? (Claudia is in danger, i fear)

Speaking of Lestat, where is he?? I mean he doesn't know where Louis is and Armand refuses to tell him, but I don't think that's just it. Like, I'm pretty sure if he could, Lestat would burn the whole word to find Louis. So it might be that he's been locked up somewhere? (i have seen people who know the books talk about some dungeon i think?? but idk)

Next thing I find quite fascinating (haha) is the very confusing Loumand power dynamic. It mostly comes from Armand and the way he seems to have two conflicting personalities that he switches between; one of them is the "cold, dark, manipulative, always in power, will torture you mentally", you know like he was acting with Daniel for most of the episode, and then there is the "devoted servant, looking to please and get love, yes maitre, of course maitre" or as Louis calls it, very 'tactly' I might add, "the bitch he was groomed to become", (it is obviously a horrible thing to say, i mean come on, louis.)

And I'm not sure what causes him to switch, if it just happens inside him or if the change is somehow (intentionally or even unintentionally) caused by Louis. It also kinda reminds me of the way Lestat has the mental stability of a rocking horse, but instead of it being "Everything is fine -> Rage", it's "I'm in power -> I will do literally anything you say".

Also idk how Louis feels about this. Because he will certainly use this side of Armand to get what he wants, but I'm not all that sure that he necessarily enjoys that power. Whatever it is, he saved Daniel thanks to it so yeah, good.

The ending, i am a little scared about, i will admit. Not sure how fast Armand can figure out what they know, and when he does, if they will know that he knows that they know. Dubai scenes are gonna be fun is what im saying.

Lastly, the trailer. Looks great again, more Loumand scenes that will hopefully be healthier than whatever this was. I am scared for Claudia as per Armand's "Have I atoned for my part of Paris?" i think the girl is done for. Also Santiago clearly play part in that, i've seen some people talk about a court?? and it looks like he's gonna do just that, probably court for Claudia and Louis (and possibly Armand?)

This didn't fit anywhere, but this episode somehow made me like Armand more? Not as a person, but as a character. I was always team Lestat and it might be because he was there first and i tend to be biased towards that, but maybe it's the fact that he was just more fun to watch. Like both his "normal" and his "fucked up". Armand was really cool too, but his "normal" i just didn't enjoy as much. But his "fucked up" was horrifying and also totally fascinating to watch so now i like him a little more than before (lestat still remains above him tho, idk what to tell you)

So anyways I hope you enjoyed my rant. I will happily read any responses also I might add to this if I remember something later.

[kimbapisnotsushi]

you seem to have a good read on HQ and your takes are great, so i have a question...and if you'd rather not go there, please ignore this! but i see oikawa get called "arrogant" quite often and i'm curious, would you say he is? what is it that makes people think that? imo he has a plenty of flaws, but i truly don't think arrogance is one of them. self-centered, sure, but not arrogant i think. i'm open to being wrong, i'm just legit so confused by that particular criticism, it makes me doubting my reading comprehension. i feel like that one post that's like "free my man, he didn't do that. he did a lot of other stuff tho" LOL. if you do answer this, then thanks for your time!

oh, dear anon. this is a very very big question and i'm honored you think i am capable of providing an answer that does it justice!! i don't consider myself an oikawa expert by far, but i'll do my best because he's still very beloved to me, and i hope whatever i say helps!

(but also - maybe take what i say with a grain of salt LMAO)

anyways, to get the main point out of the way: i completely agree that oikawa isn't arrogant! i actually haven't seen any commentary about that myself (bless!!!), so i can't say for sure why some people might think that, but my guess is that they think his pridefulness = arrogance — they think that the confidence he has in himself and seijoh contributes nothing to their actual power and is utterly meaningless if they don't win, especially in the face of ushijima. which, like, come on. what kind of captain would he be if he wasn't confident in himself and his teammates? is he supposed to tell them that they're going to lose??? is he supposed to discourage their hard work and effort???

or maybe it's because oikawa acts like he's all that, but doesn't have anything to show for it. who does he think he is? what does he think his pride is worth? what right does he have to go around making grand declarations when he has nothing to his name?

(which isn't entirely true, either, but we'll get into that, promise.)

now, do i think that he can, occasionally, be flippant, shallow, and/or petty? yeah, sure. he's got one hell of a personality about it. even iwaizumi says as much. oikawa is great at being a little shit. it's one of my favorite things about him!

but is oikawa genuinely arrogant, or self-centered? well . . . i don't think so.

see, here's the thing about oikawa: he knows he's good, but he doesn't think he's good enough. i think it'd be easiest to really explain what that meant if we broke this down into two separate parts, so let's give it a go, shall we?

(buckle up, friends, because it's about to get LONG. also: TIMESKIP SPOILERS!! and there's a tldr at the start of the tags because. WOW.)

so, first things first: if people are calling oikawa arrogant, then i'm like 99% sure that they don't actually know what the word "arrogant" means.

"arrogant" is used to describe someone full of themselves. it's used to describe someone conceited and pompous. it's used to describe someone so assured of and invested in their self-importance that they don't care for other people, and if it seems like they do, then it's usually wildly off the mark and still serves to inflate their own egos.

oikawa has never once been like that. he's been pretty much the exact opposite, in fact.

and yeah, sure, by his third year of high school, he knows he's good at volleyball, and that's fine! it's perfectly all right to claim you're good at something if you have the skills/experience to back it up. confidence is healthy as long as it isn't in overabundance, and we actually see a lot of this throughout the series!

(not to mention that this was where ushijima fell short. he was overflowing with confidence. he did not believe, for even a single second, that hinata shouyou and his meager, scrappy little flock of crows could beat him.

but oikawa? he knew. he knew what it looked like to make something bloom.)

the key to oikawa's confidence that made him better was that he could pinpoint others' strengths and weaknesses just as well as he could with his own. and (bear with me, please, i might get kind of boring here bc it's nothing that hasn't been said in the manga before) i don't mean it in the way we see the coaches or more analytical players do, as observations to be taken advantage of by everyone else; i mean that in the sense of how vital it is to his position as a setter. that was always the biggest difference between oikawa and kageyama: no matter how much more raw talent kageyama had, no matter how much better oikawa believed him to be, kageyama, especially in the beginning, struggled to do what oikawa could with a team. kageyama struggled to bring out the best in each player. and it wasn't because he didn't know how -- oikawa freely admitted that kageyama had the skill for it, that kageyama, once he got his shit together, could win against him -- it was because kageyama didn't have that same confidence in himself.

(not until much later, anyways. but that's another story, for another time.)

so, oikawa's confident. he knows he's good. he can bring out the best in each player. he's got a killer serve (and a killer smile!), a mind for tactics that borders on machievallianism, and cherishes the trust he is given like it's something precious. his coaches let him lead without leaning on them. his team has the utmost respect and admiration for him. he has a reputation. from karasuno to shiratorizawa to the whole of miyagi -- there is not a single character who knows oikawa tooru and would believe that he is, in any way, bad at volleyball.

but it's not enough. despite all of that, oikawa still doesn't think he's good enough. and that, friends, brings us to the second point.

oikawa tooru is nothing if not passionate.

so were the others, of course. kageyama kept going after his grandfather's death. hinata kept going while being a nobody from nowhere with no one to back him up. atsumu kept going while osamu didn't. it's not even about just those who went pro -- kenma, kuroo, noya, and everyone else found things that they were passionate about and kept going with it. the entire story revolves around loving what you do and trying to keep that love alive, and, sometimes, that can be really, really difficult when it seems like it doesn't love you back.

oikawa was so insecure over kageyama to the point where he nearly decked the poor kid. oikawa got crushed by ushijima-- who kept telling him that his team was not good enough, that his choices were not good enough, that there was nothing good enough to be proud of -- for years in a row. oikawa was taught that there would always be someone better than him no matter how skilled he was, but if he let that stop him then he didn't fucking belong on the court in the first place.

oikawa tooru is intimately acquainted with not being good enough, but he keeps trying to be. he keeps going. he tries to keep the love alive even if he's not loved back. he pushes and practices and takes a plane far from home to become even better. even if he doesn't have the skill, even if he doesn't have the talent, even if he doesn't have the love -- he still has his pride. and what does that mean, in the end? how far does that take him?

in the end, oikawa tooru walks across a world stage and sees people who believed in him on the other side and calls it a family reunion. in the end, he gets to play the volleyball that reminds him of why he loves it and how it gives him so much love back. in the end, his pride is unyielding and unbreakable, a product of the forge. he molded it with his own two hands. he will not let it falter so easily.

arrogance would not have taken oikawa tooru this far. i hope this has proven that he is anything but.

remember: instinct is something you polish. talent is something you make bloom. and never, ever let anyone else tell you what your pride is worth.

[rebouks]

hi! do you have any tips for making good quality screenshots in ts4?

Hi! Let's see what I can come up with..

LIGHTING/GRAPHICS MODS Easy to use/install, lighting mods can change the look of your game drastically with little effort! I use a few:

no-glo

no-blu

graphicsrules override

I use this camera mod too, much less drifty...

Softerhaze makes some bomb ass lighting mods too.. I just switched from twinkle toes to sunblind and I am in LOVE - gamechanger lemme tell you.. so pretty! LOOKIT!!

RESHADE I'm still using g-shade at the moment but after recent events, I'll probably end up switching back again when I can be arsed. The effects you can achieve with reshade presets are amazing tbh.. and it's real fun to mess around with and create your own! Tho lots of people have made awesome ones if that's a bit much for you. If your PC can't handle it all too well you can always just switch it off until it's time to take screenies as well.

COMPOSITION Kinda hard to explain but basically, composition is what's in your frame and how you line it all up. I'd recommend reading some photography guides to get the gist of the concept.. but honestly, the more you mess around the more you'll get the hang of it. I've always loved photography and sims screenies really aren't so different. If you use reshade there's even some templates for thirds/the golden ratio etc you can slap on top for practice. Personally I don't use 'em cos I prefer my own judgement (that sounds rlly obnoxious but we're rolling with it). I found a template to show you what I mean! (ngl I was stoked that the first screenie I thought of for being a good eg. almost perfectly fit into this golden ratio shit LOL) but let's keep in mind how long I scooted around to get a good shot of this.. pretty sure I deleted about 10 other failed shots of this but shhhh, it's trial and error!

ANGLES/FOCUS The way you take a shot and how you angle it can change the whole feel of the image. For example.. in this image I tilted down and bit and filled over two thirds of the shot with the man, he's a big character and quite an intimidating guy so I think it helps get the idea across without pointing it out (at least I think so but idk I could also be talking outta my ass)

Similarly in these two shots below.. the first with the guy on the left gives the feel that he's in control here. The "camera" is tilted above him slightly and he's all up in your face, making the woman look much smaller in comparison. BUT! If you flip around to the second image, tilt down a bit and switch the focus to her, it makes him look more insignificant and less in control. I hope this makes sense??

EDITING/PHOTOSHOP ACTIONS ETC Personally I don't use photoshop actions but there's plenty out there to do the work for you! I think Intramoon? maybe.. has made a few but idk, you guys feel free to jump in with any suggestions! You can also smooth, fix stuff, change the mood/lighting, all sorts.. my advice on this is patchy at best tbh cos I just faff around until I see what I like lmao.. which leads me on tooooooo...

FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT Lol.. but seriously! I don't know what I'm doing. I've never taken any classes or read up on much, I always just jump in and see what happens. Fuck around with reshade, fuck around with camera mods, fuck around with composition/focus, fuck around with photoshop or gimp or w/e.. just mess about for a while and have fun! I promise you'll get better.

[shootingstarrfish]

Do you have any tips on how you do shading ?? Your art really inspires me and I literally suck at shading lmao.

hello anon!!! im honoured i can inspire you sdfhkjh it's crazy to me that i can inspire literally anyone :,DDD <33

tbh i do all my shading purely based on vibes/what makes me happy so im not sure im a good advice person but ill show you a breakdown of how i go about shading and hopefully that might help a bit? :o i've left it below the cut because i have too much to say and it ended up being really long LOL

of course if there's anything you want more details on i'm always happy to explain, just let me know!

okay SO ill use this asmo as my example, i think there's enough to talk about here that it should be helpful hopefully

so here's my lineart and flats! i do all my flat colours in one layer because i find it easier to make everything look more cohesive when the pieces arent separated (i usually like it when the colours bleed into each other a lil), but i also just dont like the process of having to switch between layers for everything too LOL flats are unfortunately my least favourite part :,D probably because my lineart is so messy hahah

as you can see, the shading is very minimal here, just some subtle stuff in the wings/sheer parts of the fabric and some blushing on the skin, i also stole the orange under eye/liner thing from TBHK because <3

and then i clean up any messy stuff by just painting over top of everything on a new layer, i also rendered the metal at this stage because i felt like it i guess???

i dont think i did a suuper good job at rendering the metal here (because i was lazy), it looks fine but something to note about metal is that usually you want to push the highlights and the shadows a lot more, as well as the reflections because it is so shiny and smooth this is why you'll see a lot of pink and blue in the metal, to show the reflections of his hair and the sky

i would recommend using reference to get a better idea of how metal ACTUALLY works but again, i was lazy lol so that's a simple explanation based on what little i know/have observed

the jump here is a bit drastic and you might be like woah starr where'd all this come from?? but this is all in one layer-

('hard light' - 62% opacity)

this is how that layer looks as a normal full opacity layer, for reference:

lately i've been using hard light layers to shade! they're very versatile because unlike multiply layers i can do my shading and my highlights within one layer (do you sense a theme of me disliking having too many layers lmao)

SO this is where i have a bit more to say about shading you'll notice the prominent shading colour here is blue, this is because the main environment here (the sky) is blue. i dont know if that's how things work in the real world but it works for me LMAO i usually prefer to have my shading lean cooler purely for aesthetic reasons, i like how it looks more

you might also notice some areas where the blue is a bit brighter, this is to imitate reflected light, again because the environment is blue light tends to bounce around on things and reflect back even into the shadows so this is the effect im trying to get, i like to typically go with a brighter blue cause it gives things a sort of shinier? quality that i enjoy aesthetically, idk if its very accurate to real life tho it also helps me to give depth to the shading since shading isnt usually just one flat blob, and this is a bit of a shortcut to having more dynamic (?) looking shadows

i also want to point out my use of bright reds on the edge of the shadows:

i believe this is called diffraction- there's a real legit scientific reason why it happens but i... dont know what that is i just know it happens in real life (maybe not to this extent?) and it looks cool so i do it SFHJKSFH i usually blend it into the shadows though as opposed to into the lighter parts, i find that tends to look better

some miscellaneous things-

don't be afraid to throw random colours around!! who cares about realism, it's fun lmao

this artwork is a spoiler for asmo's bday so shhhhh but i did want to quickly show that you can also use hard light layers to create a glowy effect, i literally just painted the pink/orange directly on the shadows layer and it helped to make his eyes more glowy

of course i do go in and paint over a little after and add some layer effects but it helps to have that base there

now that you've learnt that i dont know what i'm doing, i wanted to highlight a couple of resources that have helped me! i hope they help you as well <3

this video gives some really interesting insights into this artist's process and some problems they had throughout, as well as how they overcame them! it looks a lil clickbaity but i promise it's good!!

this tweet also shifted how i think about rendering when i want to do something with dramatic lighting!

+ an attempt i made to replicate this (i wanna try this again lmao it was fun)

i hope that helps even a little bit, i did my best to explain but sorry if it was mostly nonsense though :,DDD best of luck with your art, anon!! <3333

[dovahvhenan]

taking a break from playing veilguard so i can eat something because i have been up since 5am staring at this screen lmao (it's 1:40pm now)

initial thoughts: i am really enjoying it so far, with only a few hiccups. i'm barely into the beginning of the game, tho.

the combat is really chaotic and i'm not that great at the block and parry timing so i keep nearly dying but just barely scraping through. i'm sure i will get better with practice! i'm playing on normal/adventurer difficulty, and as a spellblade mage.

having to hit tab to choose abilities, so it pauses the combat for the menu (like in mass effect), is both a good and bad thing. good because of the fast chaotic combat, it gives you time to breathe. bad because it's jarring and takes you out of the action. seems a hard thing to balance and i'm not sure they got it right. though it may just be because it's new in DA and unfamiliar to me right now. it has also been years since i played mass effect, so.

enemies seem to solely target rook, and not the companions at all, so there is NO breathing room outside of spamming to dash away.

neve's voice actor is... not great. lace and bellara are wonderful. not sure how i feel about rook's british fem voice. the accent seems to fluctuate between northern english, london rp, and some american inflection? it's strange.

writing seems good. i like everyone's characterisation so far. though i am an elven veil jumper and there was one point where my rook commented as if she didn't know about the elven gods, despite me in another scene earlier picking a dialogue option to claim the dalish gods as "my" gods and explain them to neve. so there's that.

also the usual dialogue wheel issue where you don't actually really know what you're going to say until you pick it because it only shows you a short summary.

the world is beautiful. the setpieces are beautiful.

the arlathan forest music sounds exactly like mass effect music, because of a specific 80's-style synth motif it uses (im no music expert so i hope those words mean what i think they mean). it's a little jarring in the fantasy game since it reminds me so hard of the futuristic scifi game.

[juniebugs]

I call this: Transcribing a real text conversation for Peter Parker & friends (it is incredibly ooc but pls enjoy based on vibes alone)

also warning: not explicit but some sexual humor in there. my friends and i aren't far above the ages of these losers so i'd consider this all age-appropriate banter. :)))

group chat convo between Peter, Ned, MJ, Shuri, and Harley

Peter: mouth_sounds.mp3

Peter: yummy pushy

Ned: WHY DID YOU ACTUALLY SEND THIS HERE

Peter: you told me to

Ned: I TRULY DID NOT

Peter: proof?

Shuri: WHAT IS GOIN ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS

Peter: more_mouth_sounds.mp3

Peter: gagged

Ned: HE ASKED ME FOR AN ANIMAL TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION OF

Ned: I SAID FISH

Shuri: LMAO this is incredible

Ned: THATS SO AWFUL PETEB

MJ: It goes hard on 2x

Peter: I could do better if you Pau me

Peter: pay

Peter: thats not the only thing thats hard

Shuri: It's like a chipmunk

Ned: horse_impression.mp3

Ned: heres peter neighing for context of how peacefully this began

MJ: thats an excellent horse

Peter: I'm being exposrd

Peter: thank you mj

Peter: I love you

Peter: guys mane an animal ill do an impressuon

Peter: say fish

Peter: guys say fish

Ned: DONT I REPEAT DONT SAY FISH

Peter: i do a mean fish

Shuri: Please do a fish impression Peter

Peter: ohgodthenoises.mp3

Ned: its the fact that you gag at the end of every fish impression

Peter: its a Peter cladding

Peter: cladsic

MJ: *groaning emoji*

Peter: claddic

Peter: softgroan.mp3

Peter: sory

Peter: my impression of mj when hears fish

Ned: NASTY

Ned: DELETE

Peter: no

Ned: REMOVE

Peter: im too proud of it sory

Peter: dory

Peter: finding dory

Peter: fish?

Peter: fish impression?

MJ: >>(my impression of mj..) Why is this so accurate tho

Ned: im going to vomit

Shuri:>>(why is this so accurate...) Can confirm

Peter: mmmmmm

Shuri: BLAH

Ned: >>(Can confirm) GET AWAY FREAJ

Shuri: sorry hate myself for that

Peter: mmmMMMMmMmMmM

Ned: peter do an impression of a camel

MJ: guys shuri is lying she does not make fish noises *angry emoji*

Ned: thank god

Peter: camel_impression.mp3

MJ: >>(peter do an impression...) Camels don't make noises

MJ: they speak telepathicly

Peter: well my impression ssyd othereisr

Ned: >>(camel_impression.mp3) explain this then mj

MJ: My bad guess I was wrong

Peter: camels store fat not wster

Peter: but u get the point

Ned: "i got water in my humps" is a peak quote i think

Shuri: >>(camel_impression.mp3) WHAT THE FUCK

Peter: guys do u think i have s future career in voice acting

Shuri: I haven't spoke with Peter in person for a bit but I don't believe that's his voice.

Ned: LMAO why not

Ned: >>(guys do u think i have...) yes just avoid bubbleguppies

Peter: i've been hiding this part of myself for a while.. *uwufingeremojis*

Peter: I've been embawwsded

Shuri: Peter let that dawg out in him

Peter: omg Dawg?

Ned: are you going to bark again?

Peter: woofingdogimpression.mp3

Peter: dawg imptrssin

Peter: better than barking

Ned: dammit

Ned: why did it go slow and reverbed at the end

Peter: i got horny

Ned: OH MY GOD STOP

MJ: the dog became a dawg

Peter: raw dawgin that dawg in me

Peter: cat.jpeg

Peter: thsts a cat

Harley: this is the most out of pocket conversation I-

Shuri: Harley control peter he's outta control

Harley: fr

Shuri: he's letting the dawg out

Peter: no I am being very normal

Peter: nuh uh

Shuri: Get the dawg back in that boy

Peter: guys have you heard my fish impression?

Peter: its pretty food

Peter: good

Harley: oh god

Ned: STOP PLEASE GOD

Peter: 123 for fish impression

Peter: 123

Peter: 123

Harley: PETER NOOOOOO

Peter: disturbing_fish_impression.mp3

Peter: you guys asked for it

Ned: STOP GAGGING AT THE END

Peter: you like the gagging?

Ned: oh my god

Peter: I'll be sure to keep doing it

Harley: tell me why that sounded like it was on 2x speed when it was in fact on 1x speed

Peter: just for u

Peter: damn if this is me sober imagined if i was dornk rn

Shuri: YIUR SOBER ?

Harley: peter what have you been doing to fishes to make them sound like that? *eyebrow raised emoji*

Peter: I plead the fifth

Peter: more like

Peter: I plead the fish

Harley: JAIL

Peter: pleasethemouthsoundsstop.mp3

Peter: >>(YIUR SOBER?) yea can't you tell

Harley: I ASSUMED YOU WERE DRUNK BAHAHAHA

Peter: that would be absurd I'm acting so normal rn ha

Peter: ha ha

Ned: (hes been up since 4am)

for my own mental well being i am stopping here also because a.) we then reference like pets and stuff idk how to translate to the mcu and also b.) to recall each audio i had to listen to them. again. god help me.

please let me know if theres someone who you think should've been a different character. (in this instance im ned) i am very curious. also is there a name for this group of friends?? lemme know pls and thank you

and if you read all this i am sorry and thank you!!! :)

[bittyfromquotev]

Second controversial take of the day, bc apparently we're on a roll

but just with how some of the way y'all be talking, I honest to God don't blame bitty for throwing out the fact that at any point some of you fuckers could be the gore anons (which is never out of the realm of possibility, it's not hard to hide typing quirks or mimic someone else's). you act the Exact same

'bu-bu-but we don't send gore we're just-' white knighting? yeah. exactly my fucking point. the whole, "doing it for the greater good" and speaking over the actual people that want you to shut the fuck up. The Exact. Same. Thing.

With the g-anons, they do it in the name for defending solarmoon shippers by running 'fake queers' off the internet. they speak over other shippers, that explicitly tell them to shut up and fuck off.

And here you are, trying to defend the gore victims by trying to control and criticize how others chose to cope with the situation. Even though Several people including some of the victims want you to shut up and fuck off.

This isn't assumption either, this is fact. Your actions speak loud and clear all on their own, regardless of how you may try to justify them.

Learn to take a hint, that your opinion is neither wanted or asked for. it is not your place to decide what bitty should or shouldn't do. better yet, ✨it's none of your business✨

Congratulations for being a hypocrite btw and contributing to another actual problem in general fandom spaces. I don't even want to acknowledge the toxicity of unsolicited criticism, but you're doing just fine indulging in that topic all on your own aren't you?

[side note: "To that anon? Way to completely not read what I said at all." you sure do like to pick and choose what you read and complain about don't you? awfully convenient to miss the point of the whole paragraph. ironic considering you then go on to complain about bitty not seeing your dozen of points that are explicitly unwelcome on this blog. And that's not ever addressing trying to side with a harasser anon, not a good look. dare I say, blatantly obtuse if not worse.]

Seriously tho bitty, you and anyone else getting this bs (bc I doubt you're the only one rn) really should just block them the next time they try to repeat themselves. Don't matter if it's the same person, or 3 different ones. People like these are the how and why g-anons exist in the first place. This mindset is explicitly Dangerous. Which sounds extreme, but as someone who's been in more than 60+ fandoms for over 7 years, I know wtf I'm talking about. It always ends the same. Twitterhead whiteknights doing bigoted shit in the name of the greater good, no matter how well meaning, is how petty callouts come about. And when it doesn't stop immediately in its track, it snowballs and gets even worse from there - ❄

Thank you so much! Lmao I almost thought you were them because of how this ask started off but I’m glad it’s you :)

Yeah they—

They don’t seem to want to listen to me. They keep telling me the same stuff over and over and it’s funny yet irritating because I’d explained myself already (I know I’ve said this like 15 times but I need to get this point across). I do plan on blocking them if they ever try something though.

But like ❄️ said, I am allowed to cope and react to things however the fuck I want. I do my best to comfort or be there for my friends and those affected more severely, but I’m personally not gonna cry about it.

No one should speak for anyone else. I let the “friend” who abused me for 10 years speak for me a lot and it doesn’t make people feel good. It’s very invalidating and no one wants someone to speak for them.

Once again, thank you so much anon. I greatly appreciate it :)

[padfootastic]

hey, so i've seen you lean into the cold arrogant black heir version of sirius lately, and i agree to an extent, because he was pretty intimidating and arrogant and didn't really care much about the public other than his people, but that doesn't really mean that he's this stoic, serious guy either right? he's pretty funny, definitely a troublemaker, and way too charming to stay in trouble for long. but at the same time, people know he's dangerous and should not be messed with because under all the charm, there absolutely was an element of 'fuck with me and i'll kill you'. and i know this sounds super contradictory but that's the whole point about sirius' character. he's a walking talking contradiction. he's so beautifully complex that turning him into this heir version is contradicting his entire character. what do you think? i would love to see you elaborate on this.

also, what do you think his humour is like? i've always thought of it as super sarcastic and dry. he def has a dark sense of humour, and he's so so sharp witted. anyway sorry if my ask was too long, i can talk for hours and hours about sirius.

no!!! anon no ask is too long when it’s about sirius. i can do the same (i have, in fact, done the same) it’s so valid.

i don’t think it’s such a contradiction at all, actually! i personally see sirius as this: a guy with a lot of masks, partially bc it’s been trained into him & partially bc he’s had to be. and i think he defaults to this cold, arrogant one because it’s the one he’s had longest—but around the right people, it fully melts away. the marauders and lily, yes but especially james and harry. that’s why i keep mentioning the outsider pov of it, people getting shocked when they see the difference in his behaviour. it’s why i wrote the patronus fic lolol.

i actually think that he had a lot…issues with the ‘heir’ version of himself (and yes, that’s a fanon concept i’ve absorbed entirely bc i love) because of what it represents and he tries hard to break away from it at all times. he probably went through an entire phase of teenage rebellion where he was doing everything against his family’s teachings bc it felt good. but, i love it when people can’t run away from their nature as much as they want to, so i always end up giving him some traits that basically make him hate himself looking into the mirror lmao

as for his humor, oh for sure!! this one’s definitely canon—he has a dry, sarcastic humor. (funnily, this is where i see a lot of similarities b/w him and harry for some reason) i think it can tend towards self deprecating sometimes. he’s also—hm. u can see his class in his words, and i think that might be true of his humor as well tho idk how to explain that better lol i think he’s the kind of person who’s so good at passive aggressiveness that you’ll never realise he insulted u to ur face (we have a phrase for it here—kaat ke haath mein dedi; i think sirius would be ace at that). and going off that, i do think his humor was also based on…belittling? other people. or rather, at the expense of other people in that way popular kids do sometimes. like him w the rat in swm, i think. casually cruel. a little mean.

[lylaseb]

Tbh I was really worried going into season 4 because my mom has watched very little anime (just naruto and snk so far and obviously we’re not even done with snk) and I thought she might not be able to follow very well. But she surprisingly did better than I thought she would. I watch reaction videos online and I’ve seen several who were confused watching the start of season 4 as well but my mom at least knew what was going on so I’d say it wasn’t bad at all. I was expecting a lot worse because the first time we watched naruto I had to explain so many things to her lol I explained the whole thing anyway and asked her questions just in case but she did get most of it on her own. The only time she was really confused was when I paused and then asked her at the end of episode 3 who the guy next to falco was. What was really funny was she immediately noticed he had green eyes but she didn’t know who he was 😂 I asked her several questions and even repeated the flashback scene with Reiner as the last resort but she still didn’t get it 😅 she was thinking really hard but she had absolutely no idea lmao and I did a bad thing because I couldn’t resist...I spoiled it for her and told her it was eren. I know a lot of people get it right away anyway and I know it gets formally revealed literally in the next episode but I really shouldn’t have. It would’ve been so much better had I just waited a bit more. I imagine she would’ve exclaimed “huh??????” but now I’ll never know. Oh well. But she was surprised enough and she asked, how come his leg didn’t regenerate? She said she didn’t consider that it could’ve been eren because the guy’s leg was missing

And then another funny thing was when porco was like, you’re kidding, can’t you see I’m a titan? These guys are just humans yet they’re coming to kill me? These guys, they’re the devils of paradis! Or something like that and my mom kind of smirked/chuckled and said well yeah they’ve been fighting titans for how long now that’s literally part of what the survey corps does and they’re very good at it 😂 I had the same reaction the first time I watched it lol literally what was he expecting tho

And then this might be my imagination or maybe what I saw was really what happened but I think she took a deep breath when gabi and falco were screaming for Reiner to help them. I think she had a bit of a grimace on her face but I’m not sure because I was sitting a bit behind her. I’ll have to ask her about this

And when floch wanted to throw gabi and falco overboard and jean couldn’t accept it she said yeah because it’s just going to be a never ending cycle. I’m so glad my mom isn’t one of those people who believe they should’ve been killed right there or that they should’ve been thrown overboard. I’m not mad at those people but I find it so exhausting reading their comments and I can’t imagine how tiring it would’ve been had my mom been like, yeah throw them overboard they deserve it after everything they’ve done or whatever...these are literal children tho...I never liked gabi, like even before she shot sasha I never liked her and even disliked her actually because of her personality and falco I had no feelings for at the time, but I understood that for the majority of the eldians in Marley they simply had no choice but to be the way they were. Through instinct. For survival. No matter how smart you think they are and no matter what they’ve experienced, a child is a child. Your brain isn’t even fully developed until your late 20s and the last part that finishes development is the prefrontal cortex which is in charge of making good decisions. No matter what kind of knowledge or experience you think you have, an underdeveloped brain is still an underdeveloped brain. That’s why so many young people make mistakes that they end up regretting later on. And the brainwashing is another can of worms and the reason why a lot of them don’t change their minds even throughout adulthood. Not to mention gabi and falco just witnessed the survey corps killing the people they knew and trampling all over their homeland. Do I think that gabi and falco were in the right? Just to be clear, no. Absolutely not. Especially not gabi. Falco was a lot more perceptive. Just because I empathize with certain characters does not mean I agree with their ideals or actions. The whole situation was ugly for everyone involved, not just for the people of paradis. But that’s also just my take on it. Maybe I’m wrong. Anyway I’m just relieved my mom shares my sentiment

Also I was hoping I’d hear more about Sasha’s death but all I got from my mom was, “so they’re going to kill sasha here?” Like pretty much that was all. She didn’t cry or anything but she was a bit upset I think when the blood wouldn’t stop and she shook her head and said it was hopeless. I still don’t know what she really thinks of sasha though and I’ll ask her for her opinion very soon

[twinvictim]

hello!! i want to hear EVERYTHING about this!! aus with Nishiki usually go for a "happier" route, so making his situation worse is... an interesting take to say the least lmao. i need to know: is yuko still alive in all this or does she die and Nishiki just. doesn't hear about it until he gets out of jail??

Oh you have activated my Bullshit TM hehe. Don't get me wrong I love making things better for him, and even this au eventually would do that but not before it gets Way worse, sort or just expanding on all the implications of Nishiki serving those ten years. Truthfully it's like the worst option of the three outcomes of the situation. Forgive me if this is incoherent it's like 3 am right after work and also forgive me for shelling my various theories like "nishiki makes so much more sense if he has feelings for Kiryu" and "trans masc swag" readmore bc I can't shut up

To answer the first question, as much as I really want Yuko to be there as a character bc i feel like she could add some interesting dynamics and really a potential voice of reason based on me making shit up about her, I feel for this au it makes more sense that she still passes away. Possibly earlier this time as Nishiki obviously isn't around to try and save her as fervently. But I still feel like she would have an impact in a way, at least with how Nishiki sees the world and the people around him. Also for reasons I can't explain I feel like she was the only one of the 4 of them that just. Didn't really like Kazama, and Nishiki was the only one she would say this too, added doubt and such, added guilt for fighting with her about it bc he was so certain that Kazama did love him. (And also...does he though? Hmm)

Also a point I'll make, nobody even once tries to contact Nishiki while he's in jail except to expel him from the clan, and unlike Kiryu he doesn't even get the "Oh yumi is missing but we're looking for her!" Thing from Shinji. He just kinda, stops existing to everyone.

Also unlike Kiryu, he isn't some weirdo who just stares at the wall for ten years, I think despite it generally being very difficult and horrible he has a way of making some allies here and there, at least having friendly acquaintances kinda like Saejima in y5, he's personable and while it's not like he isn't really lonely it's definitely better than nothing. Also think he's generally smart enough to not let people know he killed Dojima bc it's rough enough already. Playing into the fact that everyone thinks he's a huge pussy (insert 10 years in the joint line here)

The first thing he does after getting out of jail natrually is trying to track down everyone important to him, it's not hard to find Reina and she is one of the few people that hasn't changed In some way, she's definitely sadder for sure, but she's still here and still cares about him. In the time away she hasn't seen Yumi at all, but the handful of times Kiryu has shown up he says she's okay. She doesn't really know much more than that but considering Nishiki is homeless and out of a job she does just kinda force him to sleep there so she can attempt to help him, Serena Hideout as usual.

Thing is Yumi isn't missing, not really, supposedly she runs a bar just outside Kamurocho, but Reina's been entirely unable to find it, Kiryu's been exactly no help, it seems like they don't talk much if at all anymore and that Yumi mostly just wants to be left alone. (Bc Kazama doesn't feel like he should hide her from Kiryu like he did with Nishiki, since she didn't accociate Kiryu with all the trauma, and thus isnt scared of him, she's just sort of left to her own devices. I like the haircut and tattoo tho so I always keep it with her) I think Yumi is just weary, she can't forgive the clan as a whole for what it did to both her, and two people she cared about, and there's alot of complicated feelings about being raised into it with no choice in the matter. Feelings I think she's always had but tried not to think about, and now she has to contend with them in some way, or she should but doesn't. Bc she's still deathly afraid, unable to fully come to terms with her parents as well as the second shooting and it was better for her health for a long time to simply pretend Nishiki didn't exist. Kind of a default now bc the last thing she remembers of him is so traumatic its sort of inadvertently triggering to think about even the good things. The only thing she is sure of is she wants none of that for her daughter and if that means she has to miss the people she cares about than that's what it means.

Everyone still speaks highly of Kiryu of course, and natrually he does have his own family. He doesn't decend into any kind of violent spiral because genuinely people look up to and respect him, Kazama wasn't stacking the deck against him either bc why would he do that to his favorite child. really the problem is everything is kind of too easy and he doesn't see a point in it. Surrounded by yes men and people who see him as something he doesn't really want to be, and it's like he doesn't have to try. Mostly I think he's depressed bc he saw what being to close to the yakuza does to innocent people so he's cut himself off from his friends outside the circle, and everyone inside the circle is the same as theyve always been, and he just doesn't see a point in it all but keeps doing it because thats what he promised he'd do. Maybe he resents Nishiki a little bit for encouraging their shared dream, maybe he just hates that everyone forgot about him, and it just feels like something is always missing. He still can't seem to handle seeing Nishiki again though, possibly ashamed or scared. Maybe he doesn't feel like he earned the right to invite him into something that wasn't built with any kind of effort. And in the end he still failed to cross that line with him and maybe he's never forgiven himself for that.

But it's not like Nishiki or really anybody knows all that. So doesn't it just seem like yet another person abounded him. And this time it's the most important one.

Kashiwagi is interesting and stuck in a tight spot himself bc of the two pseudo parental figures they have he's the one that does genuinely equally care about them. But being that he is Kazama's right hand man, if Kazama doesn't want him to have anything to do with Nishiki than there isn't much he can do. It's not like Nishiki doesn't know or understand that, and it's not like Kashiwagi doesn't try, but he can really only do so much and it still isn't a good roll of the dice for Nishikis health either.

Haruka in this is kind of fun to speculate on. Natrually being that the (kinda dumb ngl) plot point about her father being Jingu cannot really happen or rather I don't think it adds anything, that only leaves us with Dojima being her biological father, and the only real change I'd that she's a couple months older honestly, so go with that. So being that Yumi is a working, single parent who's also horribly depressed and lonely as she no longer has a support system of friends, Haruka does end up in that Weirdly Mature for her age situation where she can to some degree take care of herself and spends time wandering town bc she's bad at making friends her own age. She's met Kiryu once or twice by 2005 but doesn't remember him much, (same goes for Kashiwagi who has tried but was met with Yumi telling him to let them be for their safety, which he understood even if he wouldve liked to know Haruka better). And due to the aforementioned Trauma Shit she's just never heard of Nishiki and doesn't know who the hell he is when she happens across him. Nishiki obviously doesn't know who she is either, just that she reminds him of someone, and while he's not really thrilled about some random fucking kid following him around bc she's bored it's not like he has many options as far as friends and she's kinda funny anyway, though it doesn't look great for a convicted murderer to just kinda hang out with somr kid thats not his but Date doesn't like him at fucking all anyway and the feeling is mutual so he and Haruka just duck around the detective when he's trying to bug Nishiki. He probably just has some amount of fun with her and she won't leave him alone anyway, and he gets the sense she's kinda lonely too.

And bc I'm crazy, Majima :). I think their dynamic could be fun, mostly I think that when they don't have a mediator or they're both doing Very Bad mental health wise it's some kind of vauge self recognition through the other turned what if we did alot of coke, turned what if we just fuck and hit eachother with chairs. Majima everywhere 2! But not bc he wants to test his resolve or something but bc he finds that irritating Nishiki is really goddamn funny, and I think a part of him is really curious about why he did what he did, bc while people had speculations neither Nishiki nor Kiryu ever confirmed what exactly happened for Yumis sake. I think Majima also just finds him interesting in the 'nothing means anything" kinda way. At some point after being abandoned, snubbed, spit on, beat up, and even sort of erased out of both families he had, Nishiki reaches a similar 'I don't fucking care' scenario and Majima is an enabler, fully willing and able to help him indulge in life being pointless and nobody needing or wanting you around. But Nishiki also despretly wants to connect with someone in a genuine way and I think he's good enough at being just every so slightly manipulative and pushy in the right ways to sort of open Majima up too and that's a whole fucking thing bc Majima hates that. He's also unpredictable and does not want to be open or vulnerable in any way, so Majima also snubs him at times, blows him off or is outwardly mean. Not someone you wanna stake any bets on.

And finally as far as main characters that would play a role, there's Kazama. And boy howdy. Kazama for reasons I cannot get into now, I think feels mostly guilty when it comes to Nishiki (and to an extent Yuko) that he doesn't quite get from his other kids which definitely skews his favoritism. I think that Kiryu was so young, a baby of very young toddler, that Kazama was happy to easily mold him for a long time (until Kiryu watches him kill two people that is, bc I think that really sent some genuine doubts that he'd never had before into motion bur I digress) he Kay as well have found Kiryu on the road. And I think due to her directly witnessing the violence, Yumi cannot really remember much without panicking except that Kazama was there and she needed him. For various reasons I think there was something about Nishiki that told Kazama that he not only ruined this child's life (in my own hc about what happened very nearly killed him and yuko also) but that Nishiki still didn't need him to be successful or happy or whatever and that really rubs Kazama the wrong way, both bc he can't calm any of his guilt and bc it hurts his pride. So to him, Nishiki going away to jail and simply not existing other than a name uttered with scorn or mockery was fitting. He wouldn't say that for sure, he'd never admit that his pride and sense of usefulness was hurt, but it was. Still I think there is something in him that cares about Nishiki, despite their contrasting personalities and the more cold additude he always gave him compared to the other kids, he does to some extent love Nishiki and he doesn't really like that. Flies in the face of him being in control of everything. Nishiki comes back and he doesn't try to go out of his way to harass him at first, or make his life harder, but he doesn't really stop anyone from trying to attack him, nor does he ignore when Nishiki inadvertently gets somewhat involved in the clan drama or when he tries to find Kiryu or Yumi again. Only really speaking to him to tell him they'd be better off if he stayed away from them.

I realize this isn't much actual plot and just general Vibes of what I'm going for, as well as needless character analysis but I hope it's enjoyable anyway. I personally like it when things get really really bad for a character and then through sheer force of continuing to fight even if it seems pointless things get, just that little bit better bc they didn't give up and nobody refuses to give up completely quite like Nishiki. I can't say I didn't think of this as an excise to make Nishiki break down in tears again repeatedly but what can you I love when men cry. I'm sure I have more ideas for this but it is now. 4:30 am so! Another time! But I love fish boy I love to hurt him and then make him better.