#harassing women when we know who you really want is sad

[thequeenofsarcaasm]

Male shonen characters getting in heterosexual relationships out of nowhere after lusting over the same man for 15 seasons

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird��� ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[citizen-zero]

Probably the oddest comment/joke/criticism I’ve seen of Jack Seward is that he’s an incel. Which is kind of annoying because for all his (many) faults, his behavior is the polar opposite of a stereotypical incel’s behavior.

When Lucy rejects him, he asks if it’s because she’s in love with someone else, or if she’s just not interested, and he only asks so that he knows whether he might still have a chance or whether he should abandon his hopes. He respects her decision and offers friendship before promptly leaving. There’s never a moment where he behaves like he’s entitled to her time, attention, and affection. He doesn’t insult her or imply she’s wrong or an idiot for her choice, he does the very thing we constantly say men ought to do when rejected—he leaves her alone.

He doesn’t even express anger and entitlement towards her in private, nor does he denigrate her choice of man (which would be particularly shitty in this case since the three of them are friends). He’s just extra depressed about it, and maybe he’s more depressed than a lot of people would be, but I don’t think it’s all that unusual to feel crushed when you’ve been rejected by someone you really like. I think it’s very normal, actually (although obviously, in the modern era, at a certain point you’d probably want to see a therapist about it if it’s that persistent).

I guess I feel weird about it because it feels like there’s this underlying belief that if a guy shows any kind of romantic disappointment at all, no matter how well-handled, it makes him no different from men who harass and feel entitled to women and won’t take no for an answer. That’s not a good attitude to have! People are allowed to be sad and disappointed as long as they’re not making it the other person’s problem!

There’s a lot of well-deserved criticisms we can make of Jack Seward, but this one feels kind of like people who call Jonathan useless and weak because he doesn’t, like, try to fight Dracula or some other stereotypically manly thing.

[softspaceboibrian]

The Heart Wants What It Wants || Jamie Tartt

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Y/N where Y/N works at AFC Richmond || I used she/her pronouns, but there is no actual physical description, so the pronouns can be switched with whatever anyone wants or prefers!

Characters: Jamie Tartt; Keeley Jones and Rebecca Welton (Y/N's best friends); Sam Obisanya, Isaac McAdoo, Colin Hughes and Dani Rojas (Jamie's support team); Roy (being his usual grumpy self).

Summary: when Y/N goes into Rebecca's office to have her usual morning chat with her best friends, she doesn't expect it to result in a very messy confession from her crush.

Warnings: bad language, like a lot. slight sexual harassment. Roy being harsh with Jamie. Jamie being all over the place with his feelings. fluff, a lot of pining and crushing. just bad writing, really.

WC: 8355 (it's kinda long, I know... but I didn't know where to stop! sorry!)

A/N: This is my first time writing for JAmie or any Ted Lasso character in general. I hadn't written anything in months, and I guess it shows. but I was so sad that there weren't enough Jamie fics on here that I thought I could just write one of my own. hopefully people like it! I'm in the middle of my exam session, but if you have any requests or suggestions, feel free to write me!

this gif is completely unrelated, i just love phil dunstan

“Come in” Rebecca’s voice was clear and loud as always, even through the closed door. As you walked in, you took in the smell of hot tea permeating the door – definitely something you could always count on.

You greeted both Rebecca and Keeley, before plopping down on the sofa right in front of the big windows looking out onto the field. You looked out for a moment, noticing the team making their way outside to finally begin practice. You had been working at AFC Richmond for almost a year now, all thanks to Miss Keeley fucking Jones, obviously. Ever since you first day there, everyone had immediately started treating you as if you had always been part of the family, especially Rebecca. “If Keeley likes you so much, it must definitely mean something.” That was her excuse when she invited you out for drinks with the two of them on the second day. “Also, there’s only so many women working at AFC Richmond, we have to stick together, don’t we?” And the rest was history, as some author would say. Even the team had liked you since the get-go. Some more than others. There should be a disclaimer here: you had never cared for football, in any of its forms. But Keeley had been so persuading, making the job sound like a party. And she wasn’t lying. Being with the team was more fun than you could have ever imagined. Yes, some of them were self-centred, and some were self-centred pricks, even. But somehow, you had taken a liking to all of them. And now, after an entire year of working there, you knew them so well that she could even make out who was who all the way from Rebecca’s office.

You were so lost in your own thoughts, that when Keeley talked, you almost jumped out of her seat. “Babes, is everything alright?” Her voice was kind as always. “You seem off today.”

“Everything is fine.” You fixed yourself, turning around so to face both of your friends.

You smiled, or rather you forced yourself to make your smile feel as real as possible. But when you met Rebecca’s gaze you froze. She was holding one of those shortbread biscuits that Ted brought her in every morning and that you only had the pleasure to taste once and, well, you completely understood why Rebecca loved them so much. “I call bullshit.”

“What?”

“I said I call bullshit.” The woman put the last remaining bit of biscuit in the small, pink cardboard box, as to save it for later, and then made her way on the couch with you and Keeley. “You have been off for, well, quite a few days now. And I love that you’re an independent woman and everything, but Keeley and I are your friends. Actually, I would like to believe that we are your best friends. We care for you and we would very much appreciate it if you would trust us enough to come to us with your problems and thoughts.”

“Yeah, babes. You know we’re always here for you.” Keeley moved closer to you and leaned against the back of the couch.

You sighed, burying your face in your hands. You had wanted to talk with them for a while now, but you were always too afraid they wouldn’t care about it, or you were too embarrassed about how they might react to it. But this time it was them that asked you to tell them. And they seemed truly interested in knowing what was going on in your mind.

“Chop, chop, out with it.” Rebecca let her heels fall to the ground and set herself comfortably in the corner of the couch. Yeah, well, as comfortable as that extremely fitted pencil skirt gave her permission to.

You bit your lip for a moment, gathering all the courage you had. “It’s stupid, really.” You tried to laugh it off, hoping that they would just let it go.

But they didn’t. “It’s not stupid if it’s making you feel like this.” Keeley said, putting a hand on yours.

“Fine.” You sighed, looking off in front of you. “I think I may have feelings for Jamie.” You blurted out as quickly as you could.

“Our Jamie? Like, Jamie Tartt?” Keeley asked.

“I know it’s stupid. I shouldn’t like him, right? I know you think it’s stupid. I know you think he’s a prick, and you’re not wrong. I know that he’s a prick. Fuck, that makes me hate myself even more. How could I like a prick? Well, he had changed a bit, and now he-s a bit less of a prick. But still, he’s Jamie fucking Tartt, he’s probably one of the hottest footballers out there, in any way possible. He could fucking have whoever he wanted. Hell, he could have a fucking model. I’m sure he had model. He had you, Keels. And I’m just me. I fucking hate that I’m feeling this.” You started rambling on aimlessly, putting out there in only a few seconds all the fears and insecurities you had been holding in for the past who knows how long.

“Hey, love. Just, wait a minute.” Rebecca’s voice broke your train of thoughts, thankfully just in time, or who knows where you could’ve ended. “Let’s just calm down a moment, okay?”

“It’s just-” You sighed. “I hate that I’m feeling these feelings. I don’t want to feel them. Not for him. I don-t want to be his latest conquest that he’s going to move on from and forget as soon as he finds someone more interesting. I don’t want this. But I can’t help it. I… Fuck, I feel like I’m back in middle school. Shit, shit, shit. How old am I? 12? No, I’m not. I’m 25 years old, for fuck’s sake. I should fall for proper man. Not people like him.” Your eyes filled up with tears, which you tried to hide as best as you could, even though you knew that the other two would notice them, nonetheless.

And they did. Rebecca and Keeley shared a quick glance, before sliding even closer to you, both immediately wrapping their arms around your figure. “Listen, babes. You said it yourself. I’ve been with Jamie, and he was in his top prick form back then. Now he’s… he’s changing. I don’t know if it’s the training with Roy or if it’s Ted finally rubbing off on him, but he’s no longer the dickhead I dumped almost two years ago.”

“She’s right. He has changed.” Rebecca agreed with Keeley. “Also, you cannot tell your heart what it should and shouldn’t feel. It will only cause you more pain, and we definitely don’t want that.” The woman had this motherly instinct that you had always loved. She always knew what to say to make you feel better, or at least less shitty about yourself. “And remember, you could never do worse than me. I was married to the king of the shitheads.” She added, which made both you and Keeley laugh.

“Okay, let’s do this.” Keeley got up and ran to the door, only to lock it and run back to the couch. “If it’s alright with Rebecca, we’re going to take the morning off to talk, just the three of us.”

“Sounds perfect to me. I really didn’t have much to do anyway.” Rebecca was a great liar. You knew she probably had so many documents to read through and to sign. But she always made time to help you with your problems. And that’s why you loved her so much. “Is that right with you, love?”

You didn’t even need to say anything. You barely nodded, and next thing you knew, the three of you were sitting on the couch with no shoes on, a warm cup of tea each and a big chunky blanket on your legs. You never really thought they would be this open with you. Yes, they had made it clear ever since the beginning that they liked you and that they cared for you. But you had never thought that you could go to them for something like that and they would do all of that for you. But they did.

“Okay, let’s start with one simple question: are you two talking? Or, I don’t know, did you go on a date?” Keeley’s question was very straightforward and made completely sense. However, the answer wasn’t as easy to give.

“Well, we haven’t really gone on like a proper date. But we did spend quite a lot of time together last week.” You looked at the other two and you could feel them asking for more information with just their eyes. “It didn’t start as the best of situations…”

------------------------------ FLASHBACK ------------------------------

You didn’t really want to go out that night. It wasn’t really your thing. You usually spent your nights at home, reading a book or watching a movie. Or, if you were lucky, you would go out with Keeley and Rebecca for dinner and drinks, which you loved. What you didn’t love was going out for drinks with people you weren’t as comfortable with. But you had never really learnt how to say no to people, so when your old high school friend – who had moved to America for college and you hadn’t heard from since – messaged you on Instagram, saying that she was back in London for a few days and wanted to go out with you to “catch up”, you couldn’t really bring yourself to decline the offer or make up an excuse. So, you just agreed and made plans to meet up with her in front of a very busy and very fancy place downtown. You hated clubs, especially busy one, but even more you hated going to new places without people you knew. But you knew the girl, in a way. You were really close in high school, so things shouldn’t be too bad, right?

“So, you’re working for a football club! Never thought it would happen!” The girl shouted over the loud music which you were already hating with all your guts. But you just pulled through it.

“Yeah, it’s a good job.” You hated having to raise your voice so much, but it was the least you could do if you wanted to have a conversation with her.

“Do you know any famous footballer?”

“I mean, I know the boys from the team. I suppose they’re famous now. But yeah.”

“Would you introduce me to any of them?”

There it was. You had been talking with her for half an hour and, knowing how she was back in high school, you had been wondering how she hadn’t yet asked you about the guys. A small part of you really wanted to believe that she had changed and that she had stopped sleeping around with guys just because they were hot. But apparently, you were wrong. “Well, it’s complicated. They’re in the middle of the Premier season right now, and most of them are training really hard hoping to be rostered for their national teams. Plus, you’re only going to be in town for a few days, so that wouldn’t really work.”

“I wouldn’t mind moving my flight back for a footballer.” She smirked.

“Maybe next time.” You fake-smiled. “Also, who would want to go out with a football player? Most of them are self-centred assholes who only care about winning.”

“But they are sexy and they have money.”

“But you’re studying law in an ivy league college, you could be the one with money in the relationship.”

“Nah, I don’t really care about that. If a hot guy with money wanted to be with me, I would literally give everything up.” She said, as if that was the most obvious answer. Now you were remembering why you never reached out to her after high school was over.

You spent another half hour listening to her blabbering about something you didn’t really care about. And you could tell that she knew, but didn’t say anything. That was how things had always been between the two of you back in school: she was the popular one, with guys running after her, and her constantly cancelling plans that you two had made to go on a date with a different guy, while you spent your afternoons with the drama club, putting on the next show, to which she was always invited but she never came. It wasn’t all bad. You actually had good times with her. You spent a lot of time over at her house, and you were almost part of her family. But once you were no longer forced to see each other every single day at school, it didn’t take long for you to realise you were completely different. So, you just stopped looking for each other, making plans or going out. That’s why, when the messages stopped coming altogether, it didn’t really hurt you, since you were the first that had started to back out from that friendship. But years had passed and you had really hoped she had grown out of that phase of her life. But you were wrong. People never change, that was what you said to yourself as you were absentmindedly nodding to whatever she was saying now.

“Listen, Y/N, do you mind if I leave you alone here for a moment? There’s a guy over there that has been eyeing me for a while now and, I don’t know, I have this feeling I should go over there.” That was her usual excuse. I have this feeling. As if sexual craving could be described as an actual feeling. But you didn’t care, you actually wouldn’t mind to spend a few minutes by yourself. So, you just told her to go. And she did. Not a single “are you sure you don’t mind” nor an “it will be quick, I promise”. She simply picked all her stuff up and left.

And then you were alone.

You thought about leaving a couple of times, but you thought it would be rude because what would happen if she came back and you weren’t there?

So, you just remained seated there, in the small booth, waiting. And waiting. You looked around, studying the crowd, and hoping that she would just come back, or at least text you to let you know her intentions for the rest of the night. But that message never came. And you waited there, alone.

Until, after almost twenty minutes, a random man approached you. He had to have been at least 15 years older than you. He was dressed all fancy, a black blazer and jeans, a white shirt with the first couple of buttons left open to show a few sparse grey hairs on his chest, as if that was something that all women found sexy; I mean, who did he think he was? Roy Kent? He walked over to your table and leaned on it to get closer to you. “Is this seat taken?”

The first thing that hit you was the almost nauseating amount of perfume and aftershave, closely followed by the stench of cigarette and alcohol as soon as he opened his mouth. “I’m waiting for a friend.” You replied, hoping that would be enough to send him away.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been sitting here alone for quite some time now.” He smiled, and you wanted to throw up. “And I don’t she’s coming back. She and that boy looked very intimate if you know what I mean.”

That comment sent shivers down your spine. How long had he been looking at you? “I’m waiting for another friend of ours.” You said, hoping that he would buy it.

He moved closer to you. “Let me wait with you. I wouldn’t want to leave such a pretty girl out here on her own.”

You hated when people called you a girl. You were a grown woman, for god’s sake! But you hated it even more when that comment came from creepy old men that were nonchalantly flirting with you.

“They should be here any minute now.” You replied quickly. “And I actually prefer to sit alone.”

“Nonsense! Let me keep you company!” He smirked, sliding even closer to you. You were on the verge of tears, feeling this awful sensation in your stomach. You felt like you were going to throw up, and you weren’t sure whether it was because of his terrible taste in perfumes, the horrible stench of smoke, or just his presence in general. You wanted to just get up and get away, but it was as if your legs had forgotten how to move. You tried to insist, telling him that you were going to meet them outside, but he wouldn’t let you go. He started moving his hand, and you knew that, if you didn’t move, he would put it on your thigh. But, with tears pooling at the corners of your eyes, your body completely froze.

“Y/N!” A voice called your name. You turned around to look at the source. Your vision was hazy from the tears, and the strobe lights weren’t exactly helping you in that moment. “I’m sorry I’m late, I couldn’t find a spot to park me car.” He walked over to your table and waited for you to do or say something to sit next to you.

“You’re Jamie fucking Tartt!” The old man exclaimed. “Fuck, man. You’re great! My mates and I don’t really like Richmond, but you’re the best player in the team. You and that Oby- Obe-, you know, the Nigerian guy.”

“Yeah, cheers, man.” Jamie replied, taking a seat next to you. “Now, would you mind leaving us alone?”

“Is she your date?” The man asked, and you could tell that he was confused because why would a star like Jamie Tartt go out with a normal girl like you?

“Do you have a problem?”

“No, no!” The old man finally stood up from the table. “You enjoy her.” He smirked and gave him a wink, before looking at you up and down for the last time and eventually leave.

You finally could feel your body relax again when your attention was caught by Jamie talking. “What a fucking creep.” He shook his head, before finally looking at you. “Are you alright? Did he do anything to you?”

You shook your head. “I think you got here just in time.” You smiled at him, almost feeling guilty for probably having ruined his night.

“Were you here alone?”

“Well, not really. I was here with a friend but she left with a guy.” You stopped, quickly looking around. “But I don’t think she’s coming back.”

“Some kind of friend.” He sighed, still looking at you, as if he were studying you, trying to understand if everything was truly okay, trying to assess the situation. “Do you want to leave?”

“What?”

“I said, do you want to go out, maybe grab a bite?” He raised his voice, thinking that you might have not heard him over the loud music.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay. You can go back to your evening if you want. I’m fine, I swear.”

“I was here on me own.”

“You go to clubs alone?”

“Well, yeah.” He looked at you for a moment. “Listen, really, I don’t have anything to do here. And in any case, I would much rather spend time with you. So, if you want to leave and do something actually funny instead of waiting for some shitty friend to hopefully come back, then count me in.”

------------------------- END OF FLASHBACK -------------------------

“Did you go with him?” Keeley asked, looking at you as if she was watching the latest episode of a soap opera, completely hooked up to the story.

“We spent the entire night together.” You said shyly.

“Doing what?” You had never seen Rebecca so shocked and interested in a story in a while.

“We ate in a chicken shop; we stayed there talking for a while and then we took a walk.”

“How long did you stay out for?”

You could feel both Keeley’s and Rebecca’s eyes on you, demanding an answer, wanting to know more, to know everything. “Well, we took the sunrise as our cue to go home.”

“Babes! You’re telling me that you stayed up all night talking with Jamie?” Keeley squealed, jumping on her knees. “Like, you found topics to talk about for, what, 7? 8 hours?”

“It wasn’t that difficult. I didn’t even have to force it.”

“What did you talk about?” Asked Rebecca. And all of a sudden, the almost 50-year-old and 30-year-old women in front of you turned back into their high school personas and you almost wanted to laugh at how adorably funny that scene was.

“Well, a bit of everything, you know. Our lives, where we grew up, our favourite things, favourite food, favourite movie, favourite city, the books that have impacted us the most, the cities that we dream of visiting one day. Normal stuff.”

Keeley looked at you, in complete shock. “You talked about books. With Jamie. How?”

“He said that he had noticed I like to read and asked me about my favourite book. I told him and then asked him the same thing. And he told me.” You replied, as if that was obvious. But it was only then that you remember that Keeley had been with Jamie in the past and, if she was that shocked, it must have meant that, when they were together, he didn’t read. Possibly at all.

“Babes, remember when I told you he had changed since I had broken up with him, right? Well, that’s an understatement. When we were together, it was fun, but we didn’t really talk about that kind of stuff. He was much more superficial. I don’t think he never really asked me what my favourite food was. And the fact that he was taking an interest in all of those things about you, well, it definitely means something. I wouldn’t take that for granted.” Hearing Keeley, someone you trusted with all of your heart, someone you loved and looked up to, someone that truly knew who you were talking about, saying all of those things, made you feel things. You didn’t know what those things meant, but they were things you hadn’t felt in a long time. And for the first time in days, you were finally accepting the idea of having feelings for Jamie Tartt.

After a few moments of silence, Rebecca asked you “Was that the only time you spent time together?”

“Well, no. I mean, we’ve been talking basically every single day. He sends me a good morning text almost every day, and we talk a lot at night. Sometimes he calls me.”

“Okay, okay. That’s good.” Rebecca said, almost as if she was an investigator gather all the evidence. “But you didn’t answer my question: did you go out another time?”

You immediately felt heat rising to your cheeks. “We didn’t really go out.” You looked at the two women in silence for a moment. “Last night he… ehm… he showed up to my place.”

“What?” They both almost screamed at the same time.

------------------------------ FLASHBACK ------------------------------

You had just finished putting on your pyjamas after a long warm shower. You still had to decide what you wanted to eat, something you always dreaded because, as much as you loved cooking, you hated preparing food for one. You started making your way down the stairs and to the kitchen when your doorbell rang. You weren’t really expecting anyone, so the sound left you confused. You looked through the peephole before even saying anything, so that if it was someone you didn’t know, you could jut pretend you weren’t at home. But, when you looked through it, you were surprised to see Jamie standing right outside of your door.

You immediately took a look at yourself in the mirror right beside the door, trying to make yourself look at least presentable, before finally opening the door. When Jamie’s entire figure came into view, you noticed the food boxes in his hands. “Jamie?”

“Hi, Y/N! Ehm, I’m sorry to barge in on you like this but… ehm… I thought we could spend some time together, you know?” Was Jamie blushing?

You stood there, a soft smile on your lips, looking at the man in front of you. “Sure.” You giggled, moving to open the door even more, as a way to let him in.

“I’m sorry, I should have texted or called. That was stupid. If you’re busy I can just-”

You cut him off. “Jamie. I’m not busy. You can come in. I just wasn’t expecting visitors, so the house is, well, it’s not tidy.” You take a step forward to take some of the boxes off of him. “What’s with all of this food? Did you rob a supermarket?” You laughed, nodding your head as a sign for him to follow you, before making your way to the kitchen.

“No!” He laughed, and suddenly you felt this weird sensation in your stomach. “I didn’t know what you were craving and so I got everything that you told me you liked.” He said, while putting the boxes on the counter. “I got us a pizza to share, because you said you’re not a huge fan, but that you like to eat it while watching movies. I also got us kebabs because they’re always good, and sushi because why not. Oh, and I also got us those spicy Korean rice thingies that you said you love so much. What’s their name? Tee- To-”

You laughed as he struggled to say the word. “Tteokbokki.”

“Yeah, those.” He smiled, putting his hands on his sides.

“Just a question.” You walked around the kitchen gathering cutlery and plates to eat. “How many people did you think were going to be here? There’s enough food to feed an army.”

He looked at you and then the food, before bursting out laughing. “I told you! I didn’t know what you were craving. And I wanted to do something nice for you, but I overdid it.”

You put the plates on the counter and turned to look at him. “It’s okay, I appreciate it anyways.” You smiled. “But why would you wanted to do this for me? It’s not my birthday or anything.”

“I just… I had a very good time with you the other night.” Was Jamie blushing? Again? “And I was really in the mood to watch a good movie. So, who better than you to watch it with.”

You smiled, trying to hide the blushing coming onto your cheeks as well by turning your attention to the food on the counter. “Did you have a movie in mind?” You asked, while putting the different foods on the plates.

“You said that you really like Dead Poets Society, right? And that you think everyone should watch it at least once in their lifetime, right? So, I thought, since I’ve never seen it, we could, I don’t know, watch it together. If you want to, obviously.” He waited for you to plate the food to pick a couple of plates up and follow you into the living room.

“That actually sounds like a perfect plan, Mr Tartt.” You smiled, while taking a seat on the couch, waiting for him to join you.

------------------------- END OF FLASHBACK -------------------------

“Fucking hell, that’s adorable!” Keeley exclaimed. “He never did that for me! When he showed up uninvited, it was usually because he wanted to have sex.”

“Well, this is good!” Rebecca joined in. “He has changed. He listened to what you told him, he remembered your favourite food and your favourite movie. And before you say something like ‘but that’s not a big dead!’, yes it fucking is. It is a huge deal. Men aren’t always reliable. Rupert never was, at least. I vividly remember telling him my favourite drink at least a dozen times. And every single time he would get me something completely different. At the beginning I was too afraid to say anything, so I just drank it. But then I started to speak up. And still, he didn’t remember.”

“Yeah, okay, but him remembering that I like pizza only when watching movie doesn’t mean he feels anything for me.” You said, throwing your head back.

“I’m sorry, babes, didn’t you say that he told you that he wanted to spend time with you?” Keeley asked. “You said it yourself: he came to your place with all the food you had told him you liked and suggested to watch your favourite movie together because he had had a good time with you and wanted to do that again.”

“He decided to spend time with you rather than going out with other people or spend the night texting some random girl on dating apps.” Added Rebecca. “He chose to be with you.”

“I suppose you’re right.” You sighed. “I still don’t think he has feelings for me, though.”

“Whatever, babes.” Keeley took a sip out of her mug, before refocusing on you. “What happened next? Did you watch the movie?”

“Yes, we did.” You smiled at the memory. “He got emotional at the end. I’m not saying that he cried, but he definitely had glossy eyes by the time of the ‘O Captain, my Captain’ scene.”

“Which means he feels comfortable enough to show his emotions in front of you.” Rebecca noted. “And what happened next? Did he leave or did you spend another night talking?” She smirked, trying to make fun of you in a friendly way, almost mom-like.

“Well, he stayed a while longer.” You looked at the two women. “We talked a little about the movie, he told me what he thought of it, we discussed a little about why I thought it is a very important and still relevant movie, and he agreed with me. At first, I have to be honest, I thought he was just agreeing with me to not make me feel bad. But then he added to my argument and I stood corrected. He had truly understood the point of the movie and of my thoughts. For the first time in, gosh, I don’t even know how long, I felt seen, listened and understood by someone that wasn’t you two or Sam.”

Keeley brought a hand to her chest. “I have conflicted feelings because, by the way you’re talking, I want to tell you to just run out of here and into this man’s arms; but at the same time, every now and then, I remember you’re talking about Jamie, and it feels so weird because he’s so different from what I remember him to be like.” She explained. “Which is good, but kind of unsettling.”

Rebecca nodded along with what Keeley said, before eventually turning once again to face you. “What happened after you talked?”

“We decided to watch Modern Family, you know, to cheer ourselves up after the movie.”

“And?” Asked in unison the two women.

“And nothing.”

“I call bullshit.” Said Rebecca.

“Agreed.” Added Keeley. “What aren’t you telling us?”

“Nothing!”

“That’s not true!” They once again spoke in unison, which was starting to become quite weird.

“Nothing happened. We just… fell asleep.” You almost murmured those last words, almost too scared to say it out loud in front of them.

“I’m sorry, what?” Asked Rebecca, who had obviously heard and just wanted you to say it again out loud.

“We fell asleep!” You shouted. And you were so glad that Rebecca’s office was so high up and far from others. “As we were watching the show, he started leaning into me. At first, he laid his head on my shoulder, and then, somehow, we ended up with his head in my lap and my hands in his hair.” You could feel your cheeks burning up.

The two women shared a quick look, before turning back to you, huge smiles on their faces. “When did he fall asleep?” Asked Keeley.

“I don’t know.” You looked down at your own hands. “I fell asleep as well. I don’t know how or when, but when I woke up, it was like 3 in the morning, and we were lying on the couch. He had his head on my stomach and an arm draped over my waists.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing.” You were fidgeting with your bracelet, too embarrassed to look up and meet your friends’ eyes. “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t want him to go away.” For some reason your eyes started filling up with tears.

“Hey, babes. It’s all right.”

“No, it’s not!” You almost shouted, tears finally falling down your face. “It’s not fucking okay. I hate feeling like this.”

“Love, hey, just… wait a second. Take a deep breath.” Rebecca moved closer and wrapped her arms around you. “Why do you hate it?”

“I don’t know. I’m feeling all these things for someone that doesn’t even like me back.”

“You don’t know that, Y/N.” Keeley moved closer as well, taking your hand in hers and leaning her head against yours. “I mean, you’re the coolest person I know, you’re fucking smart and interesting, and you’re fit as fuck. I think most of the team has at least a tiny crush on you.” She smiled, hoping to cheer you up. But that didn’t work.

“Listen, love.” Rebecca squeezed you, before pulling away slightly. “As that song says, the heart wants what it wants. I know feeling like this is terrible, but there’s only one thing that you can really do, and that’s talking to him.”

“But what if he says that he was just being a good friend? What if I misread every single thing he has done and said to me up until now?”

“And what if you haven’t?” Keeley asked. “Finding you at that club was completely random, pure luck. But he then chose to spend the entire night with you. Just like he chose to send you a good morning text every single day, and he chose to come and spend the evening with you. Also, I’m almost 100% sure that he woke up as well during the night, but didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to go, just like you didn’t want him to leave.” Keeley brushed a rogue strand of hair out of your face. “I know it’s hard, but you have to act.”

“But I’m scared.”

“Which means that you care.” Rebecca smiled. “You care about him and about your relationship.”

You looked at the two women in silence for a few moments. You wanted to cry, and you wanted to scream. You wanted to run out of there and straight to Jamie. You wanted to hug Keeley and Rebecca ad tell them how much you loved them. But all you could do in that moment was smile and be glad for the wonderful friends you had. “So, I should go and talk to him?”

“Yes.” Keeley smiled.

“And you should do it right now.” Said Rebecca, standing up from the couch. “The team is going back inside, which could be a good moment for you to swoop in and talk with Jamie.” She seamlessly slipped back in her high heels and fixed her blouse. “And if anyone has anything to say about it, they will have to come to me. I’m the owner of this club, after all.” She winked.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The team had just made their way to the changing room, ready to hear Roy giving them “pointers”, or rather making sure they knew every little thing they had done wrong. But Jamie didn’t really care about that. Jamie knew that he had played like shit, but he couldn’t help it. His head was someplace else.

“Oi, Tartt!” Roy’s voice echoed in the room, and everyone’s head turned to look at the man sitting in front of his changing station. “What the fuck were you thinking, uh? You fucked all the assists. The team was constantly looking for you, and you were nowhere to be found!”

Jamie’s eyes remained low on the ground. “’m sorry, coach.” His voice was soft. “I’ll do better next time.”

His teammates couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Somehow, in the span of 24 hours, Jamie had lost all of his confidence. They looked at him and almost couldn’t recognise him. And the worst past was that no one really knew what to do with him, how to talk to him, how to cheer him up. Because that’s the thing with teams: you’re a family, you’re all extremely close, but you’re still a bunch of men that don’t know how to handle emotions and how to talk about their feelings. So, they just bottle everything up and hope that, sooner or later, it will just go away.

But right now, looking at Jamie, Sam felt compelled by something to just stand up and walk over to him, to say something. “Is everything all right?”

Sam’s voice startled Jamie, who was so deep in his thoughts he had almost forgotten he was at the clubhouse. “Uh?” Jamie looked up and was met by Sam’s concerned look. “No, yeah, everything is fine.”

“It don’t look like it, bruv.” Isaac joined in the conversation.

Sam took a seat next to Jamie. “You don’t have to talk to us about whatever is on your mind. We’re not going to force you. Just know that we’re here for you.”

“Sì, muchacho. We’re a familia.” Dani and Colin walked over as well, almost forming a barrier between him and the rest of the room, creating a safe space for him.

No one said anything for a few moments, most of them unsure of how to act, of what to say to him. They wanted to ask him, to help him, but they had no idea how. So, they all remained quiet, until Jamie broke the silence. “I feel so stupid.” Jamie’s voice was low. “I… I feel like a middle schooler.”

“What do you mean?” Colin asked.

Sam immediately turned to look at Jamie. “Did something happen with your dad?” And Jamie could feel the worry in Sam’s voice.

“No, no, I haven’t talked with me dad since Wembley.” He shook his head, rubbing his face. “No, I… You’re going to laugh…” He looked up, but all he saw was seriously interested faces, the faces of friends that were genuinely concerned for him. “I have a crush…” He almost whispered, but it was still loud enough for them to hear. They all shared a quick look amongst themselves, before turning to look again at the man sitting before them. “I feel so stupid because, usually, I have all this confidence with women, right? I’m so sure about me self that I don’t worry about the possibility of a rejection. It doesn’t affect me, usually…”

Sam nodded along with everything that Jamie said, as if he could relate to every little detail. “But with this woman in particular, you’re scared.”

Isaac asked the question that everyone wanted to ask. “Who is this woman?”

Jamie looked up from the ground, meeting everyone’s eyes. He could tell that his friends wanted to help him, but something was stopping him, almost too afraid to admit he had feelings for her, too scared that they would laugh in his face and say that she deserved better than him.

“Muchacho, you’re a beautiful man, and every woman would be lucky to be with you.” Dani always had this way of talking that could give confidence even to the shiest and most introverted person in the world.

“No, you don’t understand. This woman is different from the others.” He sighed. “She’s not a top model or an aspiring actress that wants to be with me because I’m famous. She’s… she’s different.” Jamie started fidgeting with the ends of his shoelaces. “And I’m different. I’m not the same person I was two years ago, I know that. And I think that’s why I’m so scared. Like, what if she doesn’t like me? What if she still thinks I’m a prick? Uh?”

“Listen, boyo. You said it yourself; you have changed. And if this woman doesn’t like your new you, then too bad for her.” Colin took a seat next to Jamie, opposite to Sam. “But if you truly like her, you should tell her. Don’t let your fear get in the way of your happiness, okay?”

“Yeah, like Selena Gomez said in her song, the heart wants what it wants.” Smiled Dani.

Jamie looked at those people around him, and for a moment he felt all the guilt for how he had treated them two years before rise to the top. Did they forget everything he had done to them? Did they forget how bad he had made them feel? He had treated them so poorly, and yet, now they were there, next to him, showing care and interest in how he was feeling. “Thank you, boys.” He smiled softly.

“You know we’re here.” Sam smiled, giving him a small push with the shoulder. “We’re family.”

“Yeah, bruv.” Isaac added. “But are you going to tell us who this woman is or not?”

However, their conversation was cut short by the door to the changing room opening, and Y/N walking in, looking around, clearly searching for someone. And that was when the boys realised Jamie didn’t need to tell them anything, because as soon as he saw her, he stood up. He fixed his hair and immediately took a step forward. None of them said anything. They just remained quiet and watched the scene unfold in front of their eyes.

“Jamie.” You smile once you finally met his eyes.

“Y/N” He replied, softly, taking another step towards her.

“Do you… do you think we could talk for a moment? Alone?” She said quietly, but the silence in the room made it extremely complicated for her not to be heard by everyone.

Jamie nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

You smiled, turning around to exit the changing room. Jamie took a deep breath, turning quickly to look at the four guys standing a few steps away from him. He nodded to them, and they nodded to him in return, as a way to say ‘you got this’ or ‘go get her’. So, he took one more deep breath, and followed her outside.

Once he stepped into the corridor, he noticed Keeley and Rebecca standing in the middle of it, looking at the two of them. Keeley smiled, which gave Jamie a boost of confidence, Whereas Rebecca was looking at him in such an intimidating way that immediately sent shivers running down his spine. He knew they were there for you, and he knew how much they cared for you, so it wasn’t difficult for him to understand what Rebecca’s gaze meant: ‘break her heart and I’ll break you’.

He greeted the two women with a quick nod, before realising you were still walking down the corridor. “Wait up, Y/N!” He said, jogging after you. “Where are we going?”

“Boot room. It’s the quietest place in here.” You looked at him, noticing his expression, as if he wanted to say something. “I already asked Will to leave us alone in there.” You replied, quickly grabbing him by his hand and pulling him through the doorway.

“You always think about everything.” He chuckled, getting into the room. He never really understood when or how that room had become like a sort of therapy room for the team, where most of them went when they needed to get something off of their chest or just be alone, but couldn’t leave the clubhouse. That place stank like hell. But he was glad nonetheless for the privacy. “You had your supporters with you as well, uh?” He smiled.

“Yeah.” You laughed under your breath. “They are actually the ones that forced me to come and talk to you.”

“Should I be scared, then?”

“No! No.” You shake your head. “I don’t think so.” You started pacing around the room, trying to give order to all the things you had in your head at the moment.

“Is everything alright?” Jamie looked at you, slightly worried.

You looked at him, taking a deep breath. “Yes.” You nodded. “Just give me a moment because I haven’t really thought about what I want to say to you. Or rather, how I want to say it to you.”

Jamie nodded, taking a step towards you and catching your hand before you stepped away again. “Do you mind if I go first, then?”

You looked at him, surprise painted all over your face. You didn’t know what to say, so you simply nodded, waiting for him to talk.

“Okay, so, first of all, I wanted to tell you that last night was… well, I really enjoyed spending time with you, and I really wish we could do it more often.” He smiled, squeezing your hand as a way to catch your attention. “And then to the difficult part... Okay. The boys told me to just be me self. But it’s difficult, you know? Because, like, I am always me self, but when I’m with you, I’m different from how I am with the others. Not in the sense that I’m not truly me self, but in the sense that, when I’m with you, I’m me self even more than usual.” He stopped, looking down. “Sorry, I didn’t really have anything prepared either.” He chuckles.

You couldn’t help but smile. “Go on, you’re doing great.” You said, trying to look at him in the eyes.

“What I’m trying to say is that when I’m with you, I feel like I’m truly me self. Like I’m the most authentic version of me. And I like it. I want to be like that always. But I feel like I can only be like that when I’m with you.” He looks at you. “I lied before. I don’t want to be with you more often.” You stopped and looked at him completely confused. “I want to be with you as much as I can. I want to be with you every fucking day.” You giggled, feeling the blood rushing up your neck and to your cheeks. “I want to make lunch for you. Well, no, okay. I want to learn how to make lunch for you. I want to take you out to dinner. And I also want to order in and watch a movie on a couch like we did last night. I want you to play with me hair because, fuck, that’s the most relaxing shit ever.” You bit your bottom lip, trying to contain all the happiness that you were feeling in that moment. “I want to go out with our friends and be able to show you off. I want to hold your hand as we walk down the street.”

“Jamie…”

“Wait a second.” He interrupted you, pulling you even closer. “I want you to wear my jersey at matches. And to cheer for me. And I want to kiss you whenever we win a match. In front of everyone. I want to go out and celebrate with the team, and while we’re there, I want to hold you close while we talk with them, and then be able to just walk home together and celebrate just the two of us. And I don’t mean have sex. I mean, that would be fun, but I meant like having a party just the two of us. Drinking, and dancing and laughing. Or we don’t have to go home, and we can just walk around town all night, like we did that time.” He became all serious all of a sudden. “I want to be able to protect you from creepy old men. Actually, no. That wouldn’t be necessary because you would never need to go out by yourself ever again.”

“Jamie, I…”

“Wait, I’m not done.” He interrupted you once more. “I want to be able to sleep over at your place and you over at mine. I want us to buy toothbrushes to leave at the other’s house. I want to wake up next to you like we did today, but I want that every single day. I want to have me clothes at your place and your clothes at mine. I want to drive Roy mad by telling him last minute that I’m sleeping over at your place, so he has to come all the way there. And after I’m done training with him, I want to stop at a cafe as I get back home and I want to buy your favourite latte, so that you can wake up to the smell of warm coffee every day.”

“Jamie!” You shouted, trying to stop him from talking.

“What?”

“Just-” Your hands found their way to the back of his head, as your eyes remained fixed on his. “Just kiss me, will you?” You laughed, before pulling him down towards you.

When your lips finally crashed against one another, you could feel the tension you had been holding in your stomach finally releasing. You pushed yourself on your tiptoes, as Jamie’s hands slowly and softly found their resting place on the small of your back, helping you up, and pulling you closer to his chest. Your hands played with his hair, and in that moment, you were sure he could feel your heart beating like crazy in your chest.

“So…” He whisper while pulling slightly away, only to press his forehead against yours. “Did you want to say something?”

You kept your eyes closed, too afraid to open them and realise that it was only just a dream. “I think you said everything.” You chuckled, trying to get some air back in your lungs.

“Well, if you wanted to say something…”

“Jamie.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

A/N: sorry, this was so long! so, if you read it all the way through, then thank you! please, feel free to leave me any kind of feedback and don't forget to send me suggestions or requests if you have them! thank you again! ily <3

[limeade-l3sbian]

Regarding the "stop treating your non radfem female friends like they’re idiots and stop being an asshole to them" post

Do you have any tips on how to deal with this mentality?? Because I hear my sister going "I dress to look pretty and sexy, not to be comfortable" and then I hear the music my cousin listens to and how it's all about men calling women whores and just wanting to fuck them, and then I see my friend just COVERING her face with makeup to the point she doesn't go swimming or to ride bikes with me because "she will be sweaty and her makeup will fade" and on and on and on and jesus christ do they not hear themselves??? Am I crazy for pointing out just how much self harm they're doing? How sad that is? I can't stop feeling pity for them, that they're so lost and I can't help and I just can't deal with their ideas and since I know I won't be able to change their minds I just want to cut ties with all of them because I can't keep seeing that shitshow

It's important to remember how differently people are raised. My best example is religion. I grew up Christian, but my mom was in no way forceful about this. And when I started to question/doubt, I was given the space to explore these ideas before coming to terms with my agnostic beliefs. There was no real consequence to my drastic change in beliefs. Some of my family was irked by this, but it didn't matter at that point.

Now say I have a friend who grew up in a family or surroundings that are deeply tied to Christianity. I mean, the most patriarchal form of it where she's talking about wanting to have babies (plural) at 18 and is only interested in talking about finding a husband and being a mother. Mind you, her religious community has given her warnings about nonbelievers and how they will try to corrupt or bring her away from the thing she has invested her self worth into. Without this God, her family and friends will turn on her.

What change am I really making by harassing her when we are alone? How do I know she isn't already having doubts? Does me rolling my eyes and coming down on her going to make her want to look into these potential thoughts of doubt more, or will she tie these thoughts of doubt in with the shame I make her feel? Will I be surprised when she starts to resent me for not considering her situation? Even if I am annoyed by these things, how I helping her by attacking her?

And maybe she isn't having doubts at all! Maybe she is 100% on board with this life that has been sold to her. Well, now she cuts me off because I have become the person her community has warned her about.

I don't attack her. Because she is my friend and a person who has life than me. So what do I do? This is someone I deeply care about and I want to "save" her. First and foremost, I cannot "save" her. I am not her savior just because I have a broader perspective. She's heard arguments against her religion and it only brings her closer. But how can I get her to at least consider a different way of thinking?

It's the same shit I did with my grandmother that made her angry with me: I just ask questions. I question even the most basic things that she has believed without ever having questioned it. And after a while, I start suggesting things for her to question. Those who want control of individuals will always discourage questioning. I am not needlessly rude about it. I just ask simple things. That's how I left the church. I had the environment that would not punish me for asking questions. So I kept asking, and for frustrated when no one would give me an answer.

This might not even change a damn thing. But no amount of personal ideology will ever be as strong as just getting someone to ask questions. And even if she starts to ask questions, she may not be in a situation where she can just up and leave.

Empathy is the name of the game, anon. You can't "save" everyone. But you can question everything.

[nekropsii]

Atomic Ask Bomb... 2!!

Hello, all! We are back in the mines immediately, because you all love me and my inbox so much. I still have 200+ more asks to sort through after this and that is not hyperbole!! Oops!!

Content Warning: Long, and Cronus is There.

You can be both. I am both. I think Terezi's easily in the Top 3 of Best Written Homestuck Characters, no competition. AND she compels me.

Mituna Fans and Terezi Fans flocking together like how Gays and Lesbians are supposed to.

------

He doesn't have a Recuperacoon. He doesn't NEED a Recuperacoon. Who needs a Recuperacoon when you have a bathtub? You pile a bunch of slime in there, and then you can pop the drain open in the morning and take a shower right there where you just got up. It's convenient. And not at all sad. It's not sad guys.

Let's pretend for a moment that either Vantas would have regular bathing habits for the sake of this joke.

------

Even if that's the case, it really doesn't change anything. Insecurity doesn't justify literal actual sexual harassment and sexual assault. What?

People will do anything to excuse random shitty men for being shitty. Sympathy is the favorite weapon in Fandom Misogyny's arsenal. So often will fans pull some random bullshit out of their ass just to say that it's fine that a male character is abusive, especially if it's to women, because "He's Sad", so he should never face criticism or punishment for his actions.

We should all start putting people in blenders. We've let these arguments go on long enough. People are far too bold in their abuse apologia. We need to kill them.

------

Yeah. Like, he interests me a lot, he's one of the characters I take the most interest in out of all of the Alpha Trolls. I literally write sov!Cronus. I hate his guts, though. It really is just that easy to be a fan of a character and also fucking hate them. Not once have I ever made an excuse for him. The goal Hussie set out for when writing him was making him inexcusable and irredeemable, down to Cronus literally knowing what he's doing is bad and hurts people, and simply just not caring.

Cronus is genuinely fucking evil. That's the whole point. If you make him misunderstood, if you make him mean well, if you make him lack self awareness, if you make him sympathetic, if you give him any redeeming qualities at all... You are missing the point completely. If you want a sympathetic asshole character, you want Vriska. The point of Cronus is that he's The Worst Character In Homestuck, and that he has zero redeeming qualities and trying to fix him or redeem him is a Hopeless venture. He is beyond saving. Don't you dare even think about trying - to try to make him palatable is to erase Violent Bigotry, Incest, and Child Sexual Abuse. Just don't. Enjoy him as he is, do NOT defang him.

------

He truly is the worst! I think we should explode all depictions of fanon!Cronus. Forever.

------

Yeah, there's a huge reason why I do not say I'm a fan of Cronus or call him a favorite character of mine or anything. It projects a certain... Image. The wrong one. There's just such a strong precedent for anyone saying they're a Cronus Fan or calling him their Favorite Character being a person who just completely fucking ignores everything about him, or even pardons it, saying it's fine, actually, because He's Sad, or that it's Not That Bad, actually. I can't stand it.

I'm aware there are Cronus Fans who are totally normal, but I cannot help but immediately be wary of them, or flinch for a moment even when they offer the reassurance that they know better. It's a natural response, having been here for around a decade and having been a Mituna Fan the whole time.

Liking characters who are terrible people is fine. Based, even, in some cases. But... It's truly difficult with Cronus, because so much of that fanbase relies on excusing/minimizing/condoning abuse and bigotry. I don't have any qualms with people liking characters that suck, but when a fanbase for a character is so heavily focused on pretending that character isn't a horrible, terrible, awful person who abuses people - even children, even people they're related to, even children that they're related to - for nothing but their own sexual gain... I start having issues. That sets a pretty dangerous precedent, to me.

------

It's crazy to me how so much of the apologism is because he's hot. Because he literally isn't. You all have terrible taste.

Let's all appreciate for a moment just how fucking ugly he is. The fan art is lying so bad. He needs a haircut. His shirt doesn't fit him, and honestly looks like women's clothes - you know those women's shirts that have the sleeves that stop halfway down the damn shoulder? He looks like a 16 year old. He's so skinny, and his shoulders are so... rounded and small - which are fine traits to have, but literally every piece of fanart portrays him as broad-shouldered and ripped when the literal opposite is true. You just know he has too much product in his hair. His actual sprite is even worse.

The way his fly doesn't even go all the way up. The way his hair clips into his face. The way he's slightly yellow for literally no reason. The shitty belt. This fucking sucks. He's so ugly. He isn't even hot.

------

------

Mituna having Memory Loss as a result of his TBI is literally a myth invented by Cronus to emotionally manipulate Mituna and perpetuated by Cronus Fans. I think if they were friends in the past, Cronus's actions would be worse, actually.

Could you imagine getting sad that your friend doesn't remember you because of a Traumatic Brain Injury, and your response to this sadness is to abuse and sexually assault them on the regular? What, is that Just Bro Things now? Cronus literally says he targets Mituna because he thinks he can get away with it due to his struggles with communication. The thing about them being buddies in the past was one of his trademark Lies. Because he is known to do that, specifically to manipulate people. Because he is known to manipulate people. Emotionally. Because he is abusive. And terrible. And not redeemable. This isn't rocket science! It isn't rocket science to say that pushing the fault of Mituna's abuse onto Mituna is Victim-Blaming!

------

Positively fucking ridiculous that so many people did not recognize their romance within the comic. If they were boys, there'd be no god damn question about it. It'd be up there in everyone's OTP list alongside DaveKat.

I think they're adorable. They're one of my favorite pairings.

------

It's great in the source comic, especially during earlier phases of its existence, but the quality deprecates drastically the further you get from that point. I hate it in Fanon and in Dub/Post-Canon.

It's a great off-screen pairing for a lot of lore reasons - namely it being great to let Dave slowly allow himself to love and be loved in private, with no fear of eyes on him. He's never really been able to have privacy before, with all the cameras and eyes on him all the time, and he's never been able to really let his guard down and be vulnerable. He's never been able to love and be loved, safely. I ultimately think they should've kept their relationship mostly private, even after Dave's recovered quite a bit, because sometimes having something just for yourself without that need to perform it is healing in itself. Mental health maintenance.

In Fanon, it seems like pretty standard yaoi, though. Boring. Tired. Literally everywhere. Voyeuristic as always.

------

Thank you! My Inbox generally really isn't that bad at all, honestly! Most people are pretty cordial! Anon Hate for me is pretty rare. Thankfully, the Delete Ask button exists, so I don't have to worry about those Anons for very long, lol.

------

I hate to say this, but back in my day, plenty of people actually did do that. In fact, people only knowing Homestuck through fan material and then still calling themselves a fan is a big reason why old Homestuck fanon was so bad and so far off the mark!

I have a name for those kinds of fans, because it was such a frequent occurrence it begged for a title. I call them Secondaries. Like "Secondary Source"!

------

World's most based triad, I think. Should be real. It's real to me.

7H15 15 MY 91RLFR13NF, L47UL4. 4DN 7H51 15 7UL45 9R1LFR13ND, P0RR1M.

------

I think everyone should start watching actual horror movies. I think these people should watch Re-Animator and Bride of Re-Animator. I think this would fix the fandom, because a lot of people are just posting about horror movies without realizing they're posting about horror movies. Go watch a horror movie. They even have more and, frankly, more interesting gay representation than... Whatever Dirk and Jake have going on. Sorry.

If you're a gay man, get some hair on your chest and watch a bunch of horror movies. There's more in this life than anime twinks and skinny white pixel men. There's BlackRom Old Man Pet Play (The Lighthouse, 2019), there's Tormented Huge Dirty Bear (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, 2006), there's The Bisexual Psychological Torture + Betrayal Chamber (Saw, 2004), there's Dysfunctional Gay Marriage Disputes (Re-Animator, 1985, Bride of Re-Animator, 1990). And way more other ones than I can really list. Expand your horizons.

------

Not much. It's a bit mysterious. Here's what Aranea had to say about Mituna in general, which gives us most of the crumbs we have:

The Heir of Doom was once a powerful psionic. He had much to say when it came to warning us a8out the path of doom and destruction we were all headed for, 8ut no one took him very seriously. 8ut one day he lost all those abilities when he 8adly overexerted himself. It's hard to get any specifics from him, 8ut indications are that he applied every last 8it of energy he had toward some great act of heroism, saving us all from some looming threat. Not only did his exertion permanently 8urn out his psychic a8ilities, 8ut it left him somewhat... er. Incoherent. The entire incident is shrouded in mystery. From his limited and scattered accounts of what happened, it seems very likely that Kurloz was with him at the time, as the only eye witness. And of course it's impossi8le to get any relia8le information out of him. I guess we may never know, sadly.

This does say quite a lot, but not really anything specific. We've got some stuff about how he's the session's Cassandra, the fact that the GAoH was NOT an accident (this is the misconception that pisses me off the most, I think - I hate when people call it an accident), the fact that he was protecting everyone from something... The fact that he DOES remember it, the fact that Kurloz was there, as the only eye witness, and refuses to talk about it.

It leaves plenty of room for speculation. A little too much room for me, honestly, but that's fine, I'm not really pressed about it.

------

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 6

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart…  She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58),  strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse, unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking, sexual harassment, women abuse, violence, injury, sickness.

Part 6

"Mommy, you should kiss Joel."

You nearly dropped the laundry you were hanging outside when you heard what your toddler said. You looked at your son in shock.

"Where did that idea come from, honey?"

Teddy sighed and said, "Because Joel is sad and you always give me a kiss when I'm sad and that helps."

"Oh" was all you could say.

Joel had actually been sadder for the past few days. He was even more reticent and didn't even react to Ellie's taunts. You didn't know if it was because of your talk about forgiveness or the fact that Maria and Tommy were expecting a baby. Well, You thought that was good news, but did Joel was jealous? He had Teddy, after all. He got a second chance.

"Mommy."

You heard your son's impatient voice and realized that "Oh" wasn't considered a sufficient answer. You knelt down next to him and said, "I'm afraid it doesn't work on adults as it does on children. I think Joel might feel weird if I kissed him."

Teddy frowned. "Then hug him... You hugging Aunt Claudia when she's sad."

"You hugging him, and that's better than my hug."

Your son made a sad face, and you felt like you let him down. In his childhood mind, sometimes everything was so simple and you envied him that.

"You know what helps me when I'm sad?" The little boy looked at you curiously. "When you give me drawings and flowers. Maybe after I finish work at the stables, we can go to the meadow so you can pick flowers for Joel?"

"Okay, but if that doesn't help, promise me you'll hug him."

You sighed heavily and nodded your head.

At the stables, you were still thinking about what Teddy said. Maybe you should talk to Joel? He didn't really have anyone in Jackson except Tommy, Ellie, and Teddy... And you. He still had a strained relationship with his brother, and the children were hardly suitable for serious conversations. So everything was on you. And your two relationship has improved. When you saw him, you didn't just think about how badly he hurt you, but how he changed for the better.

You stopped brushing Jupiter for a moment and looked back to see your son, who was throwing straw into an empty stall. In fact, he lost most of the straw along the way, but he looked so cute. He wanted to help you, like his dad.

You were so lost in thought that you didn't notice that you were approaching to place where another horse had bitten Jupiter. The wound still hurt him, and though he was a nice horse, he reacted to pain like any other animal. He whinnied loudly and jumped up sharply. You managed to dodge the kick, but you staggered and stumbled. You hit your head on the post that was between the horse's boxes. It got dark before your eyes and the last thing you remember was your son's frightened scream.

*

Teddy knew he had to call for help. He ran out of the stable and began to run as fast as his little legs would allow him. However, he passed several people and did not stop. Even when someone tried to stop him. In his mind, only one person could save you.

"Joel!" he shouted as he saw a familiar figure.

Joel was just walking with Ellie to the dining room when he heard his son scream. He immediately turned around and knelt down to catch the kid who practically ran into him. He immediately noticed that the little boy was terrified.

"Teddy, what happened?"

He gently grabbed his shoulders and started looking for any injuries, but the baby boy seemed to be fine. Teddy struggled to catch his breath, tears streaming down his face.

"Mama," he finally choked out.

Joel was immediately overwhelmed by a wave of terror.

"What about mom?" He asked.

The boy barely spoke. "Ho… Horse... Kick" he said between sobs.

Joel didn't need any more. He looked at Ellie, who seemed as scared as Teddy.

"Stay with him. I'm running to her."

The girl nodded and grabbed the boy's hand as Joel ran to the stables.

*

When you woke up you felt a terrible headache. Your ears were ringing and your vision was blurred, but only one thing mattered to you. Your son.

"Teddy," you croaked.

You got up with difficulty. You felt like a newborn foal that couldn't catch its balance. You slowly took a step by step, sticking to the wall. As you were about to leave, Joel suddenly ran up to you. He grabbed your sides and held you tight.

"Y/N, what happened?"

You heard the worry in his voice.

"Jupiter got angry... I jumped back, but I think I hit my head on something hard... Where's Teddy?"

Joel stroked your cheek, then ran his hand over the back of your head and was relieved to see that there was no blood on his fingers.

"Teddy is with Ellie. He's fine. He's just scared."

As soon as you heard that, you felt your strength leave you. You stayed on your feet only because fear for your son was your motivation. Joel immediately lifted you up and said, "Okay. You need medical attention."

"No" you moaned and rested your head against his chest. "Just not Anderson."

Joel sighed. "Then what am I supposed to do?"

"Take me home and call Wanda. She used to be a nurse."

"Okay," he whispered and brushed his lips against your forehead, and you just closed your eyes.

*

An hour later you were in bed and listening to Wanda's instructions. Teddy was cuddling up to your side. He had stopped crying but was still very scared. Ellie was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at you with worried eyes. Joel stood next to Wanda and carefully listened to her.

"It's definitely a concussion. She should not move. Let her sleep a lot, rest, and drink plenty of water. Someone should stay with her overnight. If she starts vomiting, she may choke."

"I'm not going to vomit," you muttered. You were slightly annoyed that the woman was talking like you weren't in the room.

Joel just gave you an indulgent look and replied, "I'll keep an eye on her.”

When Wanda left, he came closer to you and stroked his son's head.

"Hey, 'bear cub', mum will be fine. Why don't you and Ellie go to the meadow and collect flowers for mommy?"

Teddy looked at you with those puppy eyes he inherited from his father.

"Will this help you, mommy?"

You nodded your head and he immediately jumped off the bed and grabbed Ellie's hand pulling her towards the exit. Joel was still staring at you.

"What?" you asked.

He bit his lip and muttered, "I was worried about you, I'm still worried about you... I don't know what I would do if something happened to you..."

You were surprised by his confession. You might even hug him if it weren't for the constant dizziness.

"I'll be fine and you don't have to do all this for me."

Joel stepped closer, knelt by the bed, and grabbed your hand.

"I'll take care of you and Teddy. I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel better."

You smiled slightly and nodded your head.

In the evening you were really surprised how well Joel handled the baby. You thought your boy would be very cranky after a day like this... And he was, but Joel made it. After he put his son to bed, he came back to you and sat in the armchair to watch you all night.

It was weird and embarrassing for you at first. You thought you wouldn't be able to fall asleep next to him, but his presence began to soothe you and you fell asleep.

*

Joel stretched out in an armchair and tilted his head back. He yawned and closed his eyes. He thought that nothing would happen if he took a nap for a while. Your sleep seemed restful. Before he could fall asleep he heard the patter of small feet and after a while, he felt Teddy climb into his lap. He opened his eyes and smiled softly.

"Hi, 'bear cub'."

The baby boy glanced towards the bed: "Mummy still sleeping?"

Joel combed the boy's curls. "It's night. She should sleep. Just like you."

The little one shook his head and looked at him, and despite the dim light, Joel could see traces of tears on the baby's cheeks.

"You were crying, baby. What happened?"

He pulled the boy to his chest and hugged him tightly.

"Will mommy die?"

Joel replied immediately. "No, 'bear cub'. Of course not. She'll be fine. That's why I'm here to make sure everything is okay."

Teddy nodded and murmured, "Tell me a story."

Joel frowned. "We have to go get the book."

"No," the little one moaned. "Your story."

"Oh. All right." He thought for a moment. "I'll tell you about the Boston Angel."

"That angel was pretty?"

Joel smiled and nodded. "It was basically she, and she was the most beautiful angel I've ever seen. She was also sweet and kind. Even though Boston wasn't a pretty place, she was always able to find something beautiful and show it to the children. She bent down to tie a little girl's shoes and gave food to the homeless dog, and she always smiled."

"And did she bake cookies like Mommy?"

"Yes. She was the perfect Angel, but she met the bad man." Joel sighed heavily. He didn't know why he made up this story about you two. He felt the little boy tugging at his shirt.

"And what did the bad man do?"

"He broke the angel's wings and made the angel sad."

"But why did he do it?"

"Because he forgot how to love and only remembered that losing someone you love hurts a lot. So instead of loving an angel, he preferred to hurt her." He stroked Teddy's curls. "But the angel managed to escape Boston, and then her wings grew back and became even more beautiful and stronger. So strong that they could carry her wherever she wanted."

Teddy yawned and asked, "And the bad man? Has he changed?"

Joel didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected such a question. He swallowed and replied, "He's tried hard to change and... I hope one day he'll be good and the Angel will see it."

You felt tears running down your cheeks. You woke up as soon as you heard your son's voice, but you were still tired and did not react. You knew Joel would take care of the boy. So you heard the whole story about Angel and you couldn't believe it. Joel thought you were asleep, so he didn't say all that just to win your favor.

There was silence and you guessed that Teddy had fallen asleep. You went back to sleep too.

*

Joel slowly got to his feet, holding gently the sleeping boy, but something was bothering him. The baby's body was too warm. He kissed the boy's forehead and wondered if you had a thermometer somewhere in the house. He gently placed the baby on the bed and carefully covered him with a blanket. He didn't even get out of the room before he heard a plaintive whine, "Joo."

He quickly returned to the baby and began to calm him down. "Shhh, I'll be right back."

The little one stretched out his arms towards him with another pitiful moan and began to cry. Joel sighed and took the boy in his arms, wrapping him in a blanket.

"It's okay 'bear cub'. Do you know where mom keeps the thermometer and medicine?"

The little one sobbed and pressed his face against dads shoulder, muttering, "Not sick."

Joel rolled his eyes. He realized that he had to fend for himself. And so he held the baby with one hand and searched the kitchen cupboards with the other. He found a thermometer, bandages, a hot water bottle, and medicines that he knew were not for children. He took the boy back to the room and took his temperature. He had a fever.

"Teddy, does your tummy hurt?"

"No," the boy moaned.

"And here?" he asked and touched the boy's chest.

"Only the head."

Joel frowned. He stroked the boy's back and said, "Stay here a minute. I'll check on mommy."

"NO!"

Teddy started crying and Joel panicked. He didn't want you to wake up. He quickly lifted his son and began to gently rock him in his arms and place kisses on his wet, hot cheeks.

"Shhh, shhh, 'bear cub', it's okay. We'll go to mom together, but you have to promise me you'll be quiet. Okay?"

The little one whined and nodded his head. Joel breathed a sigh of relief, though he knew he had a rough night ahead of him.

He carefully looked at you and was relieved to see that you were still asleep. By this time, the boy had already fallen asleep and Joel was able to put him to bed.

And so for the next hour, Joel wandered between your room and Teddy's room. Unfortunately, the boy woke up again and started crying.

"I want water," he sobbed.

"I'll bring you."

"Do not go!"

Joel sighed heavily and took the boy in his arms. The boy immediately clung to his body tightly. "We will go together."

Unfortunately, the boy was very moody. When he saw the blue cup of water, he wailed loudly and Joel started to panic. He didn't know what had happened and tried to calm him down.

"It's okay... Shhh, tell me what happened? Teddy, baby, 'bear cub'..."

And as if he didn't have enough problems, You walked into the kitchen. You heard your son cry and your maternal instinct was stronger than your dizziness. You staggered into the doorway and grabbed the doorframe with difficulty.

"Y/N" Joel gasped and immediately started walking towards you.

He wrapped his free arm tightly around your waist while the other still held Teddy, who was crying in his ear. Joel led you to a chair and carefully sat you down. He started rocking your son and you looked at the blue mug on the table and said, "He doesn't like that color. You have to give him a red one."

Joel breathed a sigh of relief and quickly grabbed the red cup. Teddy finally calmed down, drank some water, and fell asleep in dad's arms, but his behavior made you uneasy. You knew that such trivial things as the color of the mug only made him cry when he was ill.

"Joel, does he have a fever?"

The man reluctantly nodded. He didn't want to worry you, but he couldn't lie to you.

"He has a fever and a headache, but otherwise he's fine. He doesn't cough, he doesn't have a runny nose. I've been looking for some medicine for him, but I haven't found anything."

You sighed heavily. "They're over. I was going to go to Anderson's, but... You know."

"I know. If he's not better by morning, I'll go with him to that asshole."

You looked at him scared. "No... I can't do it."

He came closer to you. "Hey, I said I'll go. You will stay. Everything will be fine. I'll take care of everything and now I'll put the little one to bed and come back for you."

"Put him in my bed. I want him close and try to put cold compresses on him to bring down the fever."

Joel nodded and did as you said. He put Teddy in your bed and then came back for you. He wrapped his arms around you to take all your weight. Once you were in bed, he returned to the kitchen and fetched a bowl of cold water and a small kitchen towel. You watched as he knelt by the bed and gently touched Teddy's forehead.

"You have to change the water in a while."

"I know," he said and smiled slightly at you. "Don't worry. I'll be here all the time."

You sighed and closed your eyes. You carefully cuddled up to your little one and hoped that the baby boy would recover by the morning.

Unfortunately, Teddy still had a fever in the morning, like you, he didn't like the idea of visiting Anderson. He cuddled up to you and looked at Joel like he were a traitor. The man reached out to him, but the toddler consistently ignored him.

"Come on, 'bear cub', everything will be fine."

Ellie, who had already come to you, also tried to help. "Teddy, the doctor will just examine you. I and Joel will be with you."

You knew you had to intervene. You gently pushed him away from you and kissed his nose. "Honey, you know Joel will always protect you. Go with them. Mommy needs to stay in bed."

The little boy finally nodded and let Joel take him in his arms.

"Bunny" he sadly whined.

Joel kissed him on the head. "We're going to get your bunny."

After they left, you looked at the teenage girl. "Ellie, make sure he doesn't do something stupid. And I'm not talking about Teddy.”

The girl shrugged. "Okay, but I'm not promising anything."

You fell back on the pillows and closed your eyes. Your head was still spinning and you knew you had to rely on Joel.

*

The atmosphere in Anderson's office was so thick that could have cut it with a knife. The two men stared at each other with pure hatred. Eventually, Ellie intervened. She grunted loudly and muttered, "I don't know about you, but I don't want to spend all day here."

The doctor snorted. "Put him on the table. I'll listen to his lungs."

Teddy immediately moaned plaintively as he was separated from his dad's body. Joel looked at him sympathetically. He kissed his forehead and whispered, "It will only take a moment."

Teddy hugged the stuffed bunny tightly to him. Anderson looked at the little boy irritably and hissed, "Should I examine him or the stuffed animal?"

Joel clenched his jaw. He felt his head start to ache. He'd had a really rough night and was losing his patience with this prick. He carefully took the toy out of his son's hands and tenderly said, "Ellie will take care of your bunny for a while."

Tears welled up in Teddy's eyes, but he nodded and watched as Ellie gently hugged his toy. Meanwhile, Anderson, without any warning, pulled the boy's T-shirt up and held the cold stethoscope to the child's body. Teddy squeaked and jumped. Only Joel's quick reaction saved him from falling off the table.

"What are you doing?" he growled.

Anderson shrugged. "It's not my fault he's as weak as his mother."

And that was enough. Joel handed the boy into Ellie's arms and gently pushed her towards the door. "Wait with him in the corridor."

Ellie nodded her head. She herself was furious with this asshole.

As she disappeared through the door, Anderson hissed, "What, are you going to break my nose again?"

Joel smiled in a way that made Anderson uneasy and he took a step back. Joel pulled a knife from his belt and lunged for the doctor. He pushed him into the chair and with one hand squeezed his throat so that the man couldn't scream.

"No, I'll do something much worse to you," he growled from the back of his throat. "Now listen to me carefully. You will treat my son as your most valuable patient."

Anderson's eyes widened in shock. "Teddy, this is your..."

Joel laughed. "Yeah, and you'd better think it over." He slid the knife into the doctor's crotch. "You have body parts that are not needed. Without them, you'll still be useful."

Anderson swallowed and nodded. "I will be gentle..." he squeaked.

Joel nodded. "All right."

He opened the door and took the boy in his arms. He smiled and kissed him on the head. "Come 'bear cub', Mr. Anderson will be very nice now and apologize to you for hurting you."

He looked at the doctor suggestively, and the man nodded. "I'm sorry Teddy." He started heating the stethoscope and said, "He can stay in your arms while I examine him."

The rest of the examination went smoothly and Anderson was kind and gentle. When he had finished, he said, "Everything seems fine. Did something stress him out?"

Joel frowned. He wasn't sure if Anderson didn't know about your accident or if he was pretending. "Yes. He had a lot of stress yesterday."

The doctor nodded. "This fever, it could be a stress reaction or a mild cold. I'll give you pills, for him. Give him half now, half tonight, and half tomorrow morning. The fever should go down."

*

When they got home, Joel told you how the doctor's visit went. Of course, he skipped the part about the knife threat but you guessed something had happened when your son said, "Mr. Anderson was a bit rude, but then Ellie and I left and when we came back, he was already nice."

You looked suggestively at Joel, and he tried to avoid your gaze at all costs. Then you shot a disappointed look at Ellie. "You were supposed to keep an eye on him."

Ellie shrugged. "This as..." Joel grunted significantly. "This fool, he deserved it."

You shook your head and hugged your son as he began to fall asleep. You didn't really care what Joel did. All that mattered was that he got Teddy's medicine.

*

After three days, you finally felt fine. You weren't dizzy anymore and you didn't lose your balance. Your son's fever has also stopped. It was evening when you got up and decided to eat something. There was an unusual silence in the house. It was still early, but Teddy was already asleep, tired from the impressions of the last few days. But where was Joel? He took care of you all the time and you were impressed with how well he handled everything.

You walked into the living room and saw him sleeping on your couch. He looked so peaceful and you didn't have the heart to be mad at him for falling asleep in your house. You guessed he was dead tired after two nights of watching over you and Teddy. Plus, you knew your sweet little son turned into a little monster when he was sick. One minute he wanted juice, the next he was spitting it out and crying that he didn't want juice. And maybe he got it from you. Well, maybe, just maybe, you had Joel bring you a glass of cold water, and after five minutes you decided it was too cold and asked him for hot tea. And he, without whining, without a grimace on his face, obediently went to the kitchen. So yes, he had a right to be tired. You grabbed a blanket from the armchair and gently covered him. Then you crouched down at his face and felt that old sentiment. Joel's hair always looked as soft and fluffy, as your son's. Made to be combed with your fingers. And before you could stop yourself, your fingers had already sunk into his gray curls.

Joel blinked his eyes and you quickly pulled your hand away. He looked at you and started to move, but he was very clumsy.

"Sorry... I'll be up in a minute," he mumbled.

You shook your head, put your hand on his shoulder, and said, "You deserve to rest, sleep."

You saw how tired he was and that he was still half asleep, so when he spoke you weren't sure if he was aware of it.

"I wish I could have looked after you while you were pregnant."

You sighed heavily and understood. That's why he was sad. He wasn't jealous at all that Maria was pregnant. He was sorry because it reminded him of what he had lost and made him feel guilty.

"You're taking care of us now. That's enough," you whispered.

You ran your hand through his hair again and he closed his eyes and purred like a cat. A slight smile appeared on his face, and you thought maybe your son was right. Your touch really made Joel stop being sad.

A/N: Okay, so yeah, I messed up the timelines about Maria's pregnancy. I just forgot to mention it before, and it suited me perfectly here. Doctor Google told me that children can have fevers because of stress.

Part V

Part VII

Taglist:   @ajeff855​​, @anislabonis-love​​,  @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi​​,    @i-workwithpens​​, @milla-frenchy​​,  @quality-lust    @liatome​​  @sarahhxx03 @creedslove​​ @jojo-munson​​ @pascalislove​​ @sofiparallel  @goldenhxurs​​     @elliaze​​      @aestheticangel612​​  @cheyxfu​​  @orcasoul​​  @misshoneypaper​​  @prestinalove​​​  @yourusername1 @stevengmybeloved​​

[traegorn]

you never read the lilith question from the first edition of lilith magazine you twisted presumptuous fraud and antisemite

So I'm probably giving you more attention than you deserve, but I also hate leaving someone who keeps repeatedly shouting something at me that's so wrong uncorrected.

You brought this up back in September (yes, this has been going on for that long), and at the time I hadn't read it so I assumed it supported your argument. I gave you the benefit of the doubt and trusted that it said what you said.

But here's the thing, I've since read it.

And it doesn't support what you're saying at all.

(Putting the rest under a cut since this gets long...)

So going to the actual piece we have to remember what "Lilith Magazine" is. It's a Jewish Feminist magazine writing primarily for a Jewish audience. Cantor-Zuckoff is talking about how Jewish women may want to look at her story differently. I don't find anything in there arguing for Lilith to be some pan-feminist icon for non-Jewish people. In fact, in the article Cantor-Zuckoff says:

What we have to explore are the uniquely Jewish aspects of the Lilith story, and how they relate to the Jewish experience, to Jewish history. After all, Jews lived among many different peoples and were subject to a bombardment of cultural and religious concepts and myths from all sides. What they accepted is important because it shows us what Jews perceived as necessary and appropriate to Jewish life and its continuity. How they transmuted what they accepted is also significant for this reason. The account of Lilith’s revolt in the Alphabet is, to the best of my knowledge, intrinsically Jewish; no non-Jewish source tells of a female struggle for equality or gives it as a reason for the vengeful behavior of a female demon. This is especially important to us in exploring how the Lilith myth connects with our unique history.

The only comments about universality in the piece are when Cantor-Zuckoff says that there are stories with some similarities in other cultures just prior to those last two paragraphs:

These legends of Lilith-as-demon, the vengeful female witch, are, of course, not unique to Jewish culture and tradition. Many scholars theorize that vengeful female deities or demons, like the Greek hecatae, represent the vestiges of the dying Matriarchy or are an attempt by men to discredit the Matriarchy.

What Cantor-Zuckoff is arguing here is that there are myths in other cultures that have been influenced by patriarchy and serve some similar functions. This is not an argument for other people using Lilith, only that there are elements she shares. To claim they're the same though is bizarre, as you wouldn't claim that, say, Kinich Ahau and Helios are the same god just because they're both associated with the sun.

I think this really goes back to the fact that you've started with a conclusion and just reject anything that contradicts it. You really want it to be true. What I have said from the start is that Lilith is a figure who is unique to Jewish folklore. I backed this up with with the evidence we find in the historical record. I debunked the supposed "non-Jewish Lilith" sources.

And I said listen to Jewish people about what's okay or not okay to use from their culture, as they are a closed ethnoreligion, and not listening to them would make someone an asshole. You've been having a bizarre tantrum at me for like half a year now, and it's getting sad.

I don't know why you seem to care that I, a random person you will never meet, thinks you're being an asshole, but this has to stop.

(Context Note: For anyone who is seeing this post first in this ongoing "conversation" -- this anon has been harassing me for months because I dared say in my podcast that Lilith is a figure who comes exclusively from Jewish folklore, and that members of the Modern Witchcraft Movement should listen to Jewish people when they ask us not to appropriate her. That's right -- my saying "listen to Jewish people" is apparently an antisemitic act.)

[softshrimpy]

How To Woo A Hot Principal

Chapter 3: Step 3: The not-date

Summary: Working at the weathervane was exactly what you needed. The routine, the people, your co-worked. It certainly helped that a certain tall, blonde, fucking gorgeous woman happened to frequent the cafe. Now some may call hopelessly flirting with your customers inappropriate behavior.

But truly, when it came it Larissa Weems, who could blame you?

I let them shenan once, now they've shenaned again- also this fic will sort of follow canon, but fuck it where I decide I want to. They joys of being a writer. Also so sorry this update took forever, I was depressed as fuck. Love ya 🦐

Chapter 2

Cross Posted on AO3 Here

HTWAHP Masterlist

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So you’re telling me, the woman of your dreams, the one you’ve been in love with for months-“

“It’s-it’s just a crush let’s not-“

“The very woman you have literally not shut up about since meeting,” James continues, ignoring you, “invites you to accompany her to the harvest festival coming up and you don’t see it as a date?”

“We don’t even know if she likes women let alone me.” You argue.

“Babe you need to open those brilliant little eyes of yours. Of course she’s gay.”

“You don’t know that for sure-“

“No, but I do know no straight woman would experience your sorry ass flirting with them and invite you to the fucking harvest festival.”

You groan, dropping your head against the coffee machine. James had been arguing with you for at least half an hour on whether or not Larissa Weems had invited you on a date when she had asked you to join her at the harvest festival. Now, having only just moved to Jericho you honestly had no idea what the harvest festival even was. Did that stop you from immediately saying yes when she asked though? Absolutely not. You figured any time spent with Larissa, no matter what it was you ended up doing, was time well spent.

However, you did ask James what it was (your first mistake). Which was how you had ended up in this little argument.

“Even if she is gay, she’s so far out of my league.”

“While that may be true-“

“Ouch, thanks for the vote of confidence.” You interrupt, earning you a slap on the arm.

“She seems to want to spend time with you. So you must be doing something right. Anyway, my shift is over but we will talk more about this tomorrow.”

“Oh no, however will I survive without your constant teasing and invasive questions.” You comment.

“I know, you’ll truly suffer. Maybe I’ll ask Galpin to join in on the teasing that way-“

“Don’t involve that poor kid in your devious plans, he need not be corrupted by you.”

He leaves at that with a snort, waving as he goes. Tyler arrives a little while later, giving you a shy wave before getting behind the counter. You decide to take your break, things being a bit quiet at this time of day and let Tyler know before heading into the back.

So all in all, a very normal day so far.

So imagine your surprise when you came back in to find Tyler standing next to Wednesday surrounded by three sad looking pilgrim boys who were laying on the floor groaning in pain. Truly it was almost comical, almost.

“What in the name of fuck happened in here? I was gone for like 10 minutes!” You asked.

“Well-“ Tyler started, only to be interrupted by someone coming through the front door.

And that someone was none other than Sheriff Galpin. You really had nothing against him personally but any and all law enforcement just put you on edge.

“What happened in here?” He asked, eyeing the boys on the ground and then Wednesday.

“They were harassing a customer, she just defended herself,” Tyler replied.

“You mean to tell me this tiny girl beat up these three?”

“I’m sure this was her showing restraint,” you mumble, coming to stand behind the two teens. “Anyway now that that’s all cleared up-“

You’re interrupted by a very troubled and frustrated Larissa stepping through the door. She glances at the boys on the floor, pursing her lips before levelling Wednesday with a look that could make anyone burst into tears.

“Sheriff, apologies. This one…slipped away from me,” she apologizes, “Come on Miss Addams, time to go.” She grits.

“Addams? Is Gomez Addams your father?” The sheriff asks, eyeing Wednesday with what you can only call malice. At Wednesday’s nod, he continues.

“That man should be behind bars. I'm guessing the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I'll have my eye on you.” He warns before storming out.

The four of you look at each other, Larissa’s glare burning holes into Wednesday’s head, while Tyler looks embarrassed and confused.

“Tyler, no offense really, but your dad is a prick.” You say.

“Sorry.” He sighs.

“You two are all right though? None of these prissy pilgrims hurt either of you?” You ask, giving each of them a cursory check.

“Yeah Wednesday handled it, you should’ve seen her-“ Tyler starts but stops himself when he notices the intense glaring match between Larissa and Wednesday.

“Right well, Wednesday,” you start, hoping to ease the tension a bit. “I’m sorry these boys caused trouble for you. But you two probably have to get back to nevermore?”

“Yes. We do. Miss Addams, please go wait in the car. And don’t run off this time or else,” Larissa threatens, earning a huff from the girl as she exits the shop.

“It seems you’ve got an escape artist with you.” You joke.

“I do apologize. Wednesday is- she-“ she sighs rubbing her face.

“Hey it’s okay,” you start grabbing her forearm and squeezing it reassuringly. “Are you alright? Need anything?”

She shakes her head, and you must be imagining things because it almost looks like she’s blushing.

“No, I should get her back before she tries to escape again.”

“She’s probably already hatching plans. But remember I’m always here. Or just a phone call away. However, I don’t have the arm strength for digging graves so...”

She snorts at that, shaking her head and grabbing your hand, giving it a squeeze before leaving. You watch her go, smiling before turning around to see Tyler grinning at you.

“What?”

“So you and Principal Weems huh?” He snorts.

———————————————————————

You had to admit, for a small town, Jericho did know how to hold a pretty cool festival.

You were standing at the entrance to the harvest festival taking in the sight. There were stalls with games set up (no doubt rigged to hell and gone) and various carnival rides set up. You were a little impressed with how well put together the event seemed.

But the time to lose your money at carnival games and eat overpriced food was later. You had to find Larissa.

Honestly, it wasn’t hard, for one she was a walking goddess and tall as fuck so she was easy to spot. And second, the minute you saw Wednesday Addams, you found Larissa close by.

You stopped when you spotted her, standing in her greenish(the lighting wasn’t helping your color analysis) jacket with gloves on. She almost looked out of place; someone who dressed so prim and proper at a little festival with sticky food and children screaming. But she really did always look immaculate.

You decided to stop staring at her like a creep and hurried over to her. She was currently standing at one of the booths, feigning interest in the prizes but actually watching Wednesday. She was so focused on the girl that she didn’t even notice you standing next to her. You stood there for a solid minute before whispering.

“Worried she’ll pull another escape attempt?”

You had expected to scare her, yes, but what you hadn’t anticipated was Larissa letting out the most adorable shriek. She turns to face you, sporting a slight blush and clearing her throat.

“Ahem, sorry about that you uh- you startled me.” She stammers

You giggle, actually giggle, and immediately slap a hand over your mouth, slightly mortified. The two of you stand side by side, embarrassed and blushing like two teenagers. Speaking of teens, not ten seconds later a smirking Wednesday and beaming Enid appear in front of you both.

“Miss Sinclair, Miss Addams,” Larissa starts, regaining her composure, “I hope you two are enjoying yourselves.”

“Oh immensely. Bright lights and laughter are where I feel most at home.” Wednesday deadpans, earning a snort from you.

“I’m super excited. Wednesday said she’d try win me a prize!” Enid squeals.

“Oh? She did?” You ask, grinning. “That’s so nice of you Wednesday.”

You swear you see her cheeks turn pink before she huffs and walks away, mumbling to herself. Enid apologizes before running off, leaving you and Larissa alone again.

“They’re totally in love.” You comment.

“Indeed, I wonder which of them will figure it out first.” Larissa chuckles.

“I’m putting my money on Enid. She seems more in tune with her emotions.”

“I wouldn’t underestimate Miss Addams, she can be quite intuitive when she wants to be.”

“I don’t know, she seems the type to avoid her feelings as long as she can.”

She snorts at that before linking her arm with yours and heading further into the festival. She started telling you about the previous years’ harvest festivals and how she often spent them. You noticed she liked to talk with her hands, well hand in this case.

She soon dragged you over to a table and told you to wait while she went to get what she called “the best by far” hamburgers from a stall nearby. You sat at the table, quickly checking your messages when Wednesday appeared in front of you carrying a rather large stuffed panda.

“Did you win that for Enid?” You asked.

“It’s for Weems. You give it to her.” You said shoving the big guy in your direction.

“Wait what? Why did you- and she’s gone.” You remarked watching her black pigtails disappear in the crowd.

A few moments later Larissa returned with the food. She sat next to you, handing you a burger before speaking.

“You must try these, I look forward to them each year.” She smiled, before noticing the panda. “Where did you get that?”

“Oh uh- well actually it’s for you?” You started, picking up the bear and holding it toward her, “you’d never guess who-“

You had squeezed the lil guy when all of a sudden a voice played from it.

“I love you!”

You froze, staring at the bear and feeling your cheeks heat up. Of all prizes Wednesday could’ve given you, she gave you the one that said that? You wanted to believe she had no idea but a part of you wondered if this wasn’t revenge for your teasing earlier.

“I-I didn’t- I had no idea it would-“ you stammered.

She chuckled, pulling the bear out of your hands and giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“That’s very sweet, thank you darling.”

You’d have to thank Wednesday later (assuming she hadn’t tried to run away again). Larissa put the bear down on the bench before sitting down next to you bumping your shoulder with hers before instructing you to start eating.

The two of you sat and ate, and goddamn she was right the burgers really were delicious. Not that you doubted her. Although the entire experience would’ve been a lot less magical had it not been for Larissa sitting next to you, so close your shoulders were touching as she happily ate her burger and spoke to you between bites.

The two of you then headed back into the festivities. You insisted on trying to win Larissa another stuffed animal (you wanted it to be from you, not from Wednesday, even if the one you ended up winning was a considerably smaller stuffed duck.)

You had to admit, it did feel like a date. You kept trying to stop yourself from thinking like that, Larissa was just being friendly and you hadn’t really had a close friend who was a woman for years so you had no idea if this was just regular friendship or she was actually flirting with you.

But you pushed all those thoughts aside and just enjoyed the time you were spending with her. Well, you were enjoying your time together before a young girl came running up to Larissa, she honestly looked like she’d seen a ghost.

“Principal Weems I- I’m sorry to interrupt but Wednesday said Rowan’s been attacked and-and killed in the woods. I don’t- she said it was some kind of monster? I-“ she stammers, obviously troubled.

“Alright, deep breaths. Okay, there we go. Right. Go find Miss Thornhill and tell her to get her to gather the rest of the students and head back to Nevermore. I’ll call the sheriff and be with you shortly. It’ll be alright Miss Barclay, thank you for coming to me.” She says, ushering the girl away.

Bianca nods before turning on her heel and running off to find the teacher Larissa mentioned. Larissa turns to you, smiling apologetically.

“I’m sorry darling. This is not how I envisioned this evening ending. I need to go but promise me you’ll head straight home? If-if there is any merit to Wednesday’s story I would be beside myself if something were to happen to you.” She murmurs squeezing your hand.

You nod, assuring her you understand and you’ll head home. You urge her to be careful and you’re about to let her leave before you stop her.

“Give me your phone.” You ask, holding out your hand.

“Darling I- what?”

“I’m putting my number in your phone so you can message me when you get back to Nevermore, safe and sound.” You insist.

She looks shocked for a moment, then confused before finally settling on a rather flustered expression before handing you her phone. You hand it back to her after adding yourself as a contact(you saved yourself as ‘Favorite Barista’ which makes her chuckle.) you reiterate that she has to message you when she returns to Nevermore and give her a kiss on the cheek before ushering her away. As soon as her blushing form is out of sight you head back to your car and drive home.

It’s only after you’ve entered your small apartment that your actions register. You are absolutely mortified that you behaved the way you did and can’t help but overthink every action for the next hour or so. You’re wallowing in self-loathing and misery when your phone pings with a new message.

You quickly check who it’s from, noticing the unknown number and hastily open the message.

Hello darling, it’s Larissa. I’m back at Nevermore, safe and sound. There was no sign of Rowan, despite Wednesday’s adamance about what she saw. All this to say, everything is fine.

You sigh, relieved she and the kids are safe. You’re about to send a reply when another message comes through.

And thank you for looking out for me tonight. It’s been a while since anybody has worried for my safety. I appreciate your care.❤️

[classicaltragedys-blog]

Marauders era unpopular opinions and thoughts

I think it’s weird that one of the things people hate Snape for is that he made friends with death eaters then make those same death eaters uwu sad gay boys who didn’t actually mean to hurt anyone. (Barry, Evan, etc.) like canonically they were his friends. Like you can’t hate Snape for associating with death eaters then make those same death eaters who did worse “good people” and friends with the marauders. (I mean sure have fun with fanon but then don’t harass Snape fans or people who have different fanon interpretations of the marauders)

also weird when people romanticize death eaters and their actions when it’s Barty, Evan, Regulus, but they draw the line at Bellatrix, Snape, Lucius, because these characters are actually bad but it’s just head canons. Like Snape as an incel and Lucius as an abuser. It’s weird to romanticize their action period.

I think the fandom replaces Peter with Regulus. I think it’s because Peter is unattractive and Regulus can only really be in the fandom with hot fan casts. But he is ten times more interesting than Regulus.

I think if any black brother was in love with James it would be Sirius.

The comphet versions of wolfstar are weird. I remember when Remus was the uwu shy boy and Sirius the manly alpha then people started calling it out as weird so then it switched and everyone pretended that was groundbreaking but it’s still weird they are both 30 year old men. (Not when they are men that happen to have long hair and like some feminine interests but when it’s super out of character so one is the woman and one is the man)

Snape being homophobic and transphobic is not cannon and out of character since he has been shown with black nail polish in official merch and has been one of the only male characters that have worn women’s clothing.

I hate angry womanizer and shy uwu boy remus that is a man.

I wish Lily got more fics where she is gender confused. Like she struggles with the idea of womanhood and motherhood (when that is all she seen as is the ideal figure for both of these in canon and fandom)

I want more Peter x James fics not gonna lie. The same goes for Sirius x James (specifically unrequited or one sided that shit goes hard)

I want more Lily and Petunia fics those sisters are so complicated I want a fics where I see their relationship break apart. And see more of Petunia’s resentment toward Harry for just existing.

Give Regulus the one trait we know he had which was prejudice.

Not marauders era but Ron is a wonderful character I hate seeing him made into a homophobe for drarry fics it’s giving snape in marauders fics 2.0 (I adore Ron)

An extra one the marauders disliking and mistrusting Albus is so out of character for all four of them. Even after Sirius was revealed innocent they still trusted the man. And fics where they hate him or distrust him immediately. It takes me out because it was the exact opposite in Cannon. I think it’s fine if we get to that point where they see that he’s not a perfect man but not when It’s immediate.

[tsunflowers]

so my plan for dealing with the harassment I’ve been receiving is to ignore them completely bc I truly do not give a shit about what they have to say. but I do think it could be helpful to kind of analyze their tactics bc they’ve done this to other people and may do it to more in the future

on thursday i got 5-10 anonymous messages either asking or accusing me of being friends with a pedophile and groomer and helping them find minors to target. I obviously haven’t done this and I don’t know who first claimed this or where. I also don’t know if it’s connected to the vitriol that appeared later but I’m inclined to think so bc both groups named a certain tumblr user (who I will not name bc they’ve been dealing with this for a while and probably just want to stay out of it). my impression of the anons in my ask at that time is that there were multiple people and some of them were sincerely worried that I was doing something nasty. i find this somewhat worrisome bc if that incident really is connected to the later harassment it means that the person who has been making what seems like hundreds of accounts just to call people cunts is capable of coming off as trustworthy and concealing the depths of their hateful behavior. looking at the situation as a whole it does feel like that was the first strike intended to destabilize me and turn people against me before the real harassment campaign began

for some reason they started by replying to my pinned post, adding over a hundred violent and hateful comments. I don’t think this was the best tactic bc it honestly took me a while to notice. I assume this started on friday but maybe it was thursday and I wasn’t paying attention to the replies on my pinned. when i turned off replies on friday they moved to my ask and I got probably between ten and twenty of the same awful messages. most of the comments were graphic rape and death threats, but a lot were also accusing me of being a terf

this is why I think the person or persons behind this are pretending to be trans women in order to make trans women look violent and unreasonable. I’ve deleted all the asks and replies bc fuck that shit but what I remember from some of them is stuff like “no one cares that you have a period every month, bleeder” (??) and “cissies like you will never be as beautiful as us real women.” I don’t know any trans women who would say stuff like that in actual rage. “normal women and cis women” has a layer of irony to it so i can only imagine it as a joke or being said to someone you know is a terf and will get super mad. it’s just not on the same level as the graphic violence being described in other comments. but if you’re a trans woman and you call cis women bleeders when you’re actually furious with them let me know

unlike the first wave of anonymous asks I suspect these comments came from a single person, or maybe two or three at most. the accounts had no posts and not even a bio so they were clearly made just for this purpose. which is really sad lmao. I didn’t notice much variation in typing style and they were universally against me. that’s why I think these hundreds of accounts were made by the same person or group, while i think the anons I received on thursday who had different typing styles and varied from already against me to just concerned and confused were more likely to be separate and sincere people

I’ve heard from another person that when someone who received similar harassment said they would abandon their blog they were suddenly swarmed by terfs trying to comfort them and saying look at what those awful trans women did to this innocent cis woman. obviously my suspicion is that those terfs are the same people making the accounts to spew hate speech and they just switched to a different set of accounts once the violence had its intended effect

unfortunately I don’t know what we can learn from this, other than that there are terfs targeting people in the tokusatsu fandom and they have it out for one person in particular who they sometimes name when harassing others. I don’t have any sense of who’s behind this bc they’ve spent the whole time hiding behind anons and burner accounts. it would be so much easier if I was getting hate from people’s actual accounts that i could simply block

also not talking about this is so hard for me bc I love complaining and posting about everything that passes through my head so I have to share one anecdote that I think is so funny. I posted a message i got from a url that was like takerutenkuujiiii that said “I hope you get female genital mutilation so you can experience the hurt you’ve caused others” and I said “he wouldn’t say that” and someone actually came to my inbox and called me “dumb” for saying that the famously kind and sweet protagonist of children’s show kamen rider ghost would not wish genital mutilation on anyone

[dollypopup]

So, I wasn't gonna post anything about this, honestly, but because I was directly asked, here's my 2 cents!

First, I want to thank you for saying you trust me with this! I'm also on the ace-spectrum, and I'm a queer, bisexual woman, so I do have a lot of empathy with you and everyone else who was down for queer rep.

(Also, I do not have Anon turned on for my asks. I absolutely respect your privacy, but I've been harassed before, and if people want to come at me, they can do it with their whole chest. Similarly, if people want to come TO me, I'd love to be friends!) I want to start off with the fact that whilst I understand that you believe the article, I don't. Call it the skeptic in me, or my media literacy classes during my grad program or denial or what have you, but we live in a huge era of misinformation. A tabloid is not likely to be any kind of reliable source, and a random reddit user even less so. It's like making a balloon full of pudding and having a clown say it's helium. We're not going to know until the needle pops it. Surely, no one would ever lie on the internet.

That being said, as much as I yearned and wanted for Demi Colin to be confirmed, it's not set in stone, and so it couldn't have been taken away from us. Honestly, even being ace-spec, a lot of the HC of Demi!Colin started putting a bad taste in my mouth when I realized that a lot of this predominately cishet fandomw as doing it as a means of keeping Colin 'pure' for Penelope, and that struck me as incredibly acephobic. Sure, they were HCing him as one of us. . .but not because it fit with his character or provided a rich and interesting arc for him to explore, but more so that his identity was an extension of their hopes and wants for Penelope. It wasn't for him as a character, but for him as a prize. And that made me so very sad, so my dream of Demi!Colin died when I saw that happening so frequently. Us Demi and Ace folks deserved better than that, and we continue to.

Either way, I think you are absolutely allowed to feel your disappointment! This is a frustration safe zone! There was a lot of potential this season, especially for Colin, that I feel has been dropped. But even IF that article contains some truth (big, heavy IF). . .idk, I see it through the lens that lot of us Demi folks have had sex. Even no strings attached sex. I know I have. Was I disassociated from it for a lot of the time? Yeah. Was it satisfying? No. But did it happen? It did. I chose to take part in it, and they were experiences that helped me grow. And I am no less Demi for it! IF this article is true, instead of us freaking. . .I feel like it could tell us a lot about Colin's character.

He is a man who has had, largely, no good role models in his life. Not in this regard. Who does he have to guide him? Anthony? Literally said he should have taken Colin to brothels. Benedict? Hell, he had a threesome himself. Why wouldn't Colin be out here thinking 'This is what Men do, this is what my brothers do, why not?' Colin is young. He's 23 still trying to find himself. And the entire idea of 'oh, he's a nerd! no way he's had threesomes' lol, like nerds aren't kinky? Come on, I'm a nerd and I've done way more than people would assume I have. He was traveling for months, and I think this really isn't as huge a deal as we're making it out to be. I ship Polin exclusively, and I love the idea of them having their firsts together, but I'm also not angry otherwise. In my mind, he's still demi. Just like he'll always be ND, even if it isn't confirmed.

Sidenote, o want to touch on something that is somewhat unrelated to your post, but something I'm seeing a lot is the whole 'it's dehumanizing for him to watch two women!' or 'it's lesbian fetishization!'

from the very bottom of my heart, as a gay woman, people saying that can eat me. These are the same people who didn't care about any of our representation, before. They didn't care about having lesbian characters, didn't bring them up. Now that it affects their (largely) het pairing, and specifically Colin as a perfect prize in a pairing he has largely been denied a narrative within, we're talking pieces and pawns for their discontent? No, I refuse. There are legitimate criticisms that can and should take place about Bridgerton's lack of care toward wlw, and especially that our only representation may actually just be a lesbian performance for the sake of a threesome, but this is not a criticism on COLIN. It is a criticism on the PRODUCTION. Because if we had queer women in the series before, it wouldn't be an issue. However, I refuse to have my sexuality used as a 'ewwww gross! look what they're doing! isn't that soooo wrong?' gotcha moment by people who just don't like his character. If we're gonna have a conversation about it, we should have a conversation about it based purely on our actual desire to protect and care for queer women. Not using us as stepping stone soap boxes to prop up an argument.

Queer people are really done dirty in the Polin fandom, and this is proof of it. Demi!Colin is important to me, and he continues living on in my heart and my fics, and even if it turns out that he's fucked up and down the Amalfi coastline and watched live porn, that won't make him less demi to me, personally. Ace spec people's experience with sex is all unique, and honestly, watching seems very in line with Colin's character. I don't agree with peeps who call it weird or gross that he watches porn.

This is an incredibly puritanical fandom, and I find it more and more evident as I spend time in it. The entire 'suffering' 'penance' 'deserve her' 'grovel' train was already very clear in that regard, and then people only wanting Colin to be a virgin so he remained 'pure' and 'untarnished' (legit takes I had to read with my own eyeballs) for Penelope was so Catholic on main that it made me feel insane.

Us ace-spec peeps deserve to be and should have the space to be upset at any developments taking place! We also deserve to be free from people doing pseudo pearl clutching and hiding behind feminist and queer-friendly language to disguise that they're just upset that Colin is getting anything at all in his storyline that centers around him and his own discovery outside of Penelope. Even if he isn't a virgin, he can absolutely still be Demi, Anon! And I hope that brings you some comfort.

Am I a fan of the threesomes foursomes moresomes and live porn speculation? No, not particularly. Am I livid furious throwing up about it? Also no. This series has betrayed me and disappointed me in so many ways, but so has the fandom. I guess I'm accustomed to it, now. But I want to reiterate that we should not believe everything that is posted. Some rando on a reddit forum confirming a tabloid article does not investigative journalism and peer review and confirmed sources make.

But in the event that the season does disappoint and gives us some baffling storylines: this is where fanfic can be such a comfort. It's how a story lives on in perpetuity. I've written trans!Colin and queer!Colin and demi!Colin and virgin!Colin and bdsm!Colin and all sorts! We can give we everything we want. It's our playground and it's meant to be fun.

But over my dead body will I believe a Sun UK article lol

[81buttons]

Haymitch's daughter falls in love with Finnick Odair while in the Capital

Of course no problem!

AN: I've decided to put a name to the main character in this story.

"A Light in the Darkness"

Finnick Odair x OC

summary: Where Haymitch's daughter falls in love and has a relationship with Finnick

As Finnick made his way through the training halls of the Capitol, he noticed a young woman with brown hair standing off to the side, observing the training sessions of each district representative. Intrigued by her presence, he approached with a charming smile.

"Hey, and who do we have here?" he said, his voice soft but full of innuendo.

Elara raised an eyebrow, regarding him with suspicion. "Finnick Odair, I presume?" she replied, her voice carrying surprising assurance for her young age.

"Oh, it seems someone did their research. Bravo, princess. What gave me away?" he teased.

"Your arrogant smile, I suppose," she responded, fluttering her eyelashes playfully.

If there was one thing Finnick particularly adored, as paradoxical as it may seem, it was someone who could hold their own against him. Accustomed to having all the women at his feet, he found it particularly enticing when a woman refused to be walked over.

"I see you know me, but darling, I still don't know your name," he said, inclining his head slightly.

Elara hesitated for a moment, contemplating whether to give him her name. It was almost like making friends with the "enemy." It was already complicated enough as it was; Katniss, who had been chosen again, struggled with the idea of returning to the arena. It had been difficult enough the first time, so a second time… On the other hand, Peeta had not been chosen to participate in this new edition of the games; it was Haymitch, her father. When she heard his name come out of Effie’s mouth, her heart stopped, and then everything happened very quickly. Peeta approached, announcing that he was volunteering and Haymitch had to let the young man go in his place. After all these events and the press harassing the couple from District 12, Elara thought that it might not necessarily be a good idea to get closer to the others. After all, they were the games; they were adversaries, enemies. In the end, only one would remain.

However, in a way, it intrigued her, and she wanted to know more about the young victor. As long as he didn't really know who she was, there was no reason they couldn't talk.

"My name is Elara," she finally said.

Finnick nodded slightly in greeting. "Nice to meet you, Elara. I'm surprised it took me so long to meet you, such a charming girl."

Elara crossed her arms, unimpressed by Finnick's flattery. "I'm here to observe and learn, not to flirt with Hunger Games victors."

A smirk played on Finnick's lips. "I see. A woman with such a sharp mind is refreshing here."

"What, don't tell me you're not happy in the Capitol? You must have all the women at your feet," she teased.

Finnick froze for a moment, surprised by her direct question. "Oh yes, but I never lose sight of why I'm here," he said.

"To win," he finally replied, his blue eyes shining with a mixture of pride and a hint of sadness.

"I understand. Everything seems so normal and natural before we remember the true purpose of the games," Elara sighed. She had always known the games; they had taken too much from her: first her father, and now her best friend. She knew all too well the effect the games had on people.

Suddenly she saw her father in the distance, seeming to be looking for her. If he saw who his daughter was with, she was finished.

"Well, Finnick Odair, it was a pleasure, but I have to go."

"Already? But I don't even know why you're here, and when can I see you again?"

"We will see each other again, I'm sure. I'm really sorry, I have to go."

Then she left, leaving Finnick surprised, surprised by her and her vivacity, but surprised because he was smiling, and he smiled for several days in a row.

He wanted to see her again; he had to see her again. He wanted to get to know her. He didn't even know what she was doing. She had too strong a character to be one of the Capitol's women. So she must come from a district; was she also a tribute? If that was the case, Finnick didn't even want to think about it; he couldn't see or face her in the arena.

After several days, as he paraded on the chariot alongside the other tributes during the opening of the Hunger Games, his gaze suddenly fell on a familiar silhouette in the crowd. There, sitting next to the mentor of District 12, Haymitch, was Elara. Surprise and confusion gripped him. What was she doing there, among the spectators of the Capitol? And why was she next to Haymitch, the mentor of his adversaries?

For a moment, Finnick felt a mixture of curiosity and suspicion. He scrutinized Elara with troubled intensity, trying to understand her presence there. Then, suddenly, everything became clear in his mind.

"Elara...," he murmured, his eyes widening with understanding.

A wave of realization washed over him. She was Haymitch's daughter. That's why she was there, to see the tributes from District 12 participate in the Games. Finnick felt a surge of emotion engulf him, mixed with an inexplicable warmth in the pit of his stomach.

Amidst the cacophony and hustle of the Games' opening, their gazes met, and in that brief moment, Finnick forgot all his fears, knowing there would be something more between them than he had initially imagined.

She was stunning, dressed in a simple white gown, her brown hair cascading over her shoulders. Her attire had nothing to do with the Capitol's extravagant fashion, but she was naturally beautiful; Finnick had already noticed it during their first encounters.

After that event, their conversations became more frequent, and they found excuses to cross paths regularly. Sometimes, they would meet in a quiet corner of the Capitol, exchanging stories about their respective lives and laughing together as if they were the only ones in the world.

Although neither of them wanted to admit it at first, their relationship grew day by day, still in secret. Not a day passed without them talking, which began to intrigue Haymitch.

One evening, as they walked through the Capitol gardens, Finnick decided it was time to share his true feelings with Elara. "Elara, I need to tell you something." Elara looked up at him, curious about what he had to say. "What is it?" Finnick took a deep breath, gathering his courage. "I feel something special for you, Elara. Something I've never felt for anyone else."

"Finnick…"

They both knew it wasn't possible for them to feel this way. Not now, not there, not like this. Time was running out; Finnick would soon have to face the ruthless challenges of the arena.

Elara lowered her eyes, feeling a lump forming in her throat. She knew their time together was limited, and every precious moment they shared would be a cherished memory she would hold onto.

"Finnick... You know what awaits you. You know you have to leave soon…"

Finnick nodded, his blue eyes locked onto hers. "I know. But I want you to know that these aren't just words, Elara. What I feel for you, I've felt it since the first time I saw you. Since I met you, I've started dreaming of a life after the Games, a life I never thought I could have. Even in the arena, I'll think of you. I know... I know it's the Games, and there's a good chance that…"

Elara bit her lip, fighting back the tears threatening to fall.

"But I have a goal to achieve, for you, to win for you."

"I'll wait for you." Finnick gently cupped Elara's face in his hands, his thumbs wiping away the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I love you, Elara. More than anything in the world." Their lips met in a sweet, passionate kiss. And as Finnick prepared to face the horrors of the arena, he carried with him the memory of this pure and unwavering love, a bright light in the darkness that awaited him.

[rodolfoparras]

ALAIN SUPPORTS TRUMP WHAT HELLO THIS IS THE FIRST IM HEAEING OF THIS ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

WHAAAT

God we can't have shit here 🧍‍♂️🚶‍♂️

But yeah 🙄 people bother Katy and Barry when he posts her because "Barry is Price" and shit, like they cannot separate the actor and character, even though they're two very different people personality wise and shit. And y'know, he's a fucking actor. I really don't understand the whole "character=actor" thing and it makes me really sad and upset because real life people get harassed for just doing their job

It makes me really sad because I'd open a post of him literally celebrating his anniversary of his beautiful wife and there are 15 yrs old girls in the comments like "But Barry 😞 what about me?" "We were supposed to be together" Girl shut the fuck up right now, you aren't funny, you're actually incredibly embarrassing

Anyways, I'm Katy's biggest fan, she's a total sweetheart and deserves the world. I love her

-🐧

YESS found out about jt like a year ago and had it confirmed when i saw he follows that man

I wanted to say it’s an age thing but I’ve seen grown women act the same way so really I don’t know the cause behind such behavior. I don’t know if you know about it but months maybe even a year ago there was drama on booktok because someone fancasted a hockey player as a popular book character and everyone in that community became incredibly obsessed with him. They stopped referring to him by his real name they’d make inappropriate comments and of course they went after his wife. I just don’t understand such behavior

Being a spouse of a famous person really can be such a draining thing imagine ppl who have known your partner for less than a couple of months being absolutely obsessed with them so much so they disregard your 20+ year relationship like who are u and why are u in my house 😭😭

[dystxpiansims]

Hello! I don't like to do this, but I think it needs to be done.

If you heard about Equiliberty, you probably heard about Jocelyn Flores, or Moe, or 2thedoe, or whatever her names are. I really didn't want to make this post, but seeing how she made a whole blog just to talk trash about other servers and people who are "harassing" her after her other blogs got taken down, I feel I need to say something and let others know what they would be joining into.

First I'd like to make a pointer here; Natalia does not take their time to dedicate "talking shit" about Jocelyn or whatever she goes by now. She only posted what felt was necessary to let others know what is going on behind closed doors that Jocelyn wants to keep pushing away as nothing and act the victim. Yes, maybe some of us said some things in the past, but what Jocelyn is doing is not cool.

What's really sad is I thought Jocelyn was an amazing person, but after all the things I've seen, I take it back. Sure she can be cool when she's not showing her true colors, but she can't own up to what she's done and take responsibility, and instead says she apologizes and then makes an entire tumblr blog dedicated to shit talking others and calling any other sims 4 equine communities/servers "competition". Your server isn't the only one, ma'am. Which shows one of the posts she's made on it below:

Secondly; what you're doing IS making a drama post by keeping it going. If it truly bothered you, just ignore it and keep going on with your life than wasting your energy on making an entire blog to be nasty towards others? You made your point, you block them, you go on, not have your 'friends' stalk them to keep you up to date with what's happening and keep stirring the pot by adding to your hate blog. And you're not transphobic??

Uh, I hate to break it to you but this:

This is the definition of transphobic. How can you say you want to respect them, but you don't want to even call them by their pronouns? You OBVIOUSLY don't respect them enough if you refuse to call them what they go by. Calling them by their desired name is the bare minimum, but it don't mean you respect them.

This may be an opinion, but this is a HARMFUL one. There are no "two genders". If you believe in science, then obviously you're not studying it hard enough. Sex? There is at least six:

X – Roughly 1 in 2,000 to 1 in 5,000 people (Turner’s )

XX – Most common form of female

XXY – Roughly 1 in 500 to 1 in 1,000 people (Klinefelter)

XY – Most common form of male

XYY – Roughly 1 out of 1,000 people

XXXY – Roughly 1 in 18,000 to 1 in 50,000 births

"Sex refers to biological attributes that distinguish organisms as male, female, intersex and hermaphrodite. Gender is a social construct, encompassing various psychological and social characteristics that collectively define individuals as men, women, non-binary or trans, etc." So obviously you don't believe in science enough to actually do your research, I presume? Don't make an "opinion" if you've never done any research on this type of a topic.

Yes, this is how we will run our community by making sure the person that has hurt multiple people don't join back and cause more problems. If someone causes you trauma in your childhood and you finally get away, would you want them to just come back in your life? I don't think so. Somethings CAN be forgiven, but obviously this is a big thing that hurts a big community, and you can't even take responsibility and give a lame apology to actually apologize for hurting others, but instead just to cover your tracks and protect yourself, along with "clearing out people who don't feel serves the server any purpose anymore" and in the midst of your breakdown, you ban this person who didn't do ANYTHING except check their balance because you weren't happy at the time.

Oh, by the way, here's the thing that I was referring to with the competition and once again dragging another server down in this "quote unquote" not a drama post. No one is poaching members from the server, they're doing that on their own. They're not going to stay in a server with someone they don't feel comfortable with. But AI generated logos? I was there during the time and I don't remember any AI generated logos? I remember a conversation about AI generated images and Jocelyn not agreeing with banning them or not seeing anything wrong with it and not seeing the point in getting angry over it.

No one attacked the server, Jocelyn. Everything that's been said was towards you who has ruined the server for everyone, even to the point removing general because you couldn't handle being called out and instead was lashing out at the others and acting the victim in the chat, deleting anything that even mentioned it or asked a question. OH! And kicking someone out of the server for simply asking a question for you to clarify what you said.

Only server I've ever had to walk on eggshells and scared to interact on was in Equiliberty - but that was because of you, and that's why I left. I was scared to interact after your little meltdown because if someone said anything there was a possibility of getting banned for no reason. But these servers? They feel truly like home and not once has there been any problems, and they actually listen to the members when there's a suggestion made.

Anywho, onto yet another post she had made!

No one has made accounts just to harass you - it's more like you who has done that, huh? And useless tumblr posts? It's pretty useful to me to avoid someone like you who can't seem to let things go and keep it going and not even take responsibility of your actions.

Quite sad you won't even take in other peoples words when trying to tell you there isn't just "two genders". No one is making the LGBTQ+ more important than the "other factors" but we're tired of not being taken serious and being brushed aside as if we're nothing but garbage. Yes, we all matter equally, but to go out of your own way to downsize the importance of this is quite astonishing. To be going around saying "it's just my opinion" and very clearly saying you won't be calling someone by their pronouns because what YOU see isn't what they identify or feel like or even "pass" as but yet you still "respect" them really shows the type of person you are and to lie to cover your own ass too on top of it. Uh huh. I sure as all hell don't feel respected, you've lost all my respect for you.

Many people have posted straight from the source of where things were said and done, so you're right! Never assume! People know who you truly are now, ma'am.

And here she is with her saying her other accounts have been deleted and ofc this being her first post! Totally not drama posts, right?? RIGHT?? So, there's my proof of her verifying this whole blog is dedicated to harassing others and talking shit and trying to turn it around on the ones who tell and show the truth. Have a good life Jocelyn, but sooner or later, others who are sticking around you and protecting you will realize who you truly are.

[celestie0]

ellieeee i feel so bad for hearing that you think you don’t deserve the support and that your writing is shitty. i totally get that you may be very self critical because you put in so much effort and you want your stories to be good but i promise you that your efforts really are worth it!! your writing, even if you don’t think so, is genuinely absolutely incredible. your stories have so so much depth to them, the way you write your characters is so so consistent and fits the story so well.

for example in ch 11 when reader told gojo that he is totally allowed to be mad at the girl who randomly kissed him because he‘s not just a piece of meat to lust over and that he’s his own person. the way he was genuinely confused or shocked by this and really had to take a moment to actually understand this makes soo much sense for his character who’s a known player and it’s usually something to brag about if girls want a man and it’s never really acknowledged when it’s harassment (i mean sexual harassment is generally for both women and men often invalidated which is just incredibly sad) but i think in this scene specifically it was so important for someone to tell him that and it just makes so much sense for his character, like the entirety of the scene (but probably every scene you write makes sense for the characters, like i love your ideas and i love the way you put them to ‘paper‘)

another scene that really comes to my mind when it comes to the emotional depth of characters is when gojo was in a hotel room with reader and she wanted him to touch her but he refused. (now this is just what i think, not exactly sure if that was your intention) but i think that he sees sex with reader as so much more than just sex and he only would’ve wanted to sleep with her if it really means something but since he wasn’t really sure of his feelings, or rather his ability to commit and be a good boyfriend in a relationship (btw their convo in this moment before that is so so sweet i loveeee it so much)

also reader who feels really hurt by this, obviously because she likes him and he can’t really return her feelings the same way, but she also felt like she was rejected twice, since first her feelings were rejected, then her body and her lust for him. i can imagine that the second time might’ve actually hurt a little more since gojo is such a player and pretty sex-driven at times, so that he wouldn’t want this from her, despite having done similar things with her prior, must’ve made her realize that he’s actually serious about not wanting her (well we know he does but ykwim). not to mention that her hope of something happening between them was increased by him saving her and letting her in his room, them sharing a bed and having this vulnerable conversation where they also bonded even more, so him rejecting her then must’ve been really harsh for her, but in turn sooo important for him and his character development, that he genuinely cares about her and all ughhhh i love it

there‘s so much more i could mention too but those were the moments that came to mind first (and i actually sort of managed to put into words). your writing is truly truly so beautiful even if maybe i didn’t understand it the way you intended it to be, reading the story alone, even the parts that are just clearly written and don’t need any interpretation because you stated it directly are just so so good. please don’t let rude people and people who only want smut bring your mood down, there are people like that and it’s sad and frustrating but i promise there are so many people who love your writing just for what it is. i will always always continue to cherish your stories smut or not. even if i don’t think that annon meant to be rude, it’s definitely disrespectful to your work. if someone wants to read smut, i don’t see why they’d ask you and not just look up another fic. there’s literally endless ones. i hope these comments don’t affect you so much because they shouldn’t even be talking in the first place, hiding behind annon. but anyways yeah i‘m really really really sorry for any rude asks you get and that you feel that way about your writing. you were the first person i followed on tumblr btw and also the first person to make me really interested in reading fanfics :)). you do deserve all the love and support especially because you’re doing this all for free and you’re actually really nice and funny in your asks, so you seem like a cool person aside from your stories!!! you’re amazing mwahhhh

hi my love, oh my gosh, i apologies for a bit of late response i wanted to make sure i had proper time to answer, but i did read this a couple days ago when you sent it and actually started to cry. i will be saving this ask to look back at whenever i have doubts w my writing bc it is just THAT comforting to me 🥲

first of all thank u so much for the kind words about my writing <3 to hear you say that you feel the depth and consistencies (i think two of the things i really try to capture the most in my writings) is so incredibly relieving to hear ♥️♥️

omg sobs tysm for thinking deeply of those scenes in kickoff 😭 yes i totally agree w you, sexual harassment is often overlooked in men because they are expected to enjoy all interaction w women, but it’s societal misguided thinkings. i was really really really hesitant and nervous to include that scene in the chapter, i was almost too worried that it would be too “serious” or “unnecessary” but i knew when i first drafted that scene that it was something i wanted to include n make important to his character, it just made sense to me that he’d been taught to appeal to others rather than protect his own interests due to peer sexual expectations as a man or the resident “hot guy” or whatever…but i felt it’d be important for him to realize it and also sweet for reader to be the one to shed light on it!! it means so much to me that you’ve reflected so positively on it and it gives me bravery in my writing :””)

also, your interpretation of the scene in ch8 where gojo declines to touch reader is the best insight i think i’ve received on that scene. like, you’ve made me realize things about the scene that even i didn’t really understand or like i kinda knew but wasn’t sure how to put into words 😂 😂 i like audibly gasped when i read it LOLOL. the part where you mentioned the distinction of hurt between her feelings getting rejected vs her offer of sex also being rejected was so like idk it was just perfectly said. i think, in a way, her feelings being rejected may have hurt less, because she knows that he’s emotionally detached and therefore it’s nothing personal. although it still hurts, i think it’s something she can detach herself from, hence why she was able to politely excuse herself n set her boundaries after the confession scene at the stadium. but for her to know that he’s a player and a guy that sleeps around often, to then reject her body as well…ouch, that had to have stung even worse. but yes you’re so right i think it’s so important for his character development likeee he had been really careless w her feelings up until that point, so for him to make a decision that protects her from his own actions…i think that was a turning point for him. im so excited by your reflections in that scene also hope i am not coming off yapping too much here over ny own writing alsldkjdjdh i was just excited to discuss 😭😭❤️❤️

once again thank you SO MUCH for your kind words, i can’t tell u how much it means to me. like i said, anytime i feel down w my writing or get rude asks n it decenters my passion, i will def be referring back to this sweet words 😭♥️ i know that there will be ppl that cannot help their own selfish interests, whether intentionally or not, but i also know i have lots of readers that really appreciate my stories for just that— what they are. and i have endless appreciation for it.

much love bb omg have a wonderful rest of your day <33