Low kept complaining.
Mr Uhr, the Police Magistrate, has been distinguishing himself again. On Friday, the 20th August, at Peter Cardley's "Royal Hotel" he was drunk & struck an old gentleman, a Mr Henry, one of the pioneers & founders of Cloncurry, cutting his eye open; he then issued challenges to anyone in the room to take Mr Henry's part. He afterwards harangued the mob on the subject of the impartiality of his decisions from the bench, saying, "that we would all be sorry when poor old Uhr was gone."
"Killing for Country: A Family History" - David Marr
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Vision Eyes 👁️ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Everything goes exactly as I predicted it
Though minutiae is different, I nailed the gist of it
Just failed to adjust. Baby, it was a bust
As I was saying, craving blunts, then bubba started playing
Somebody save us. I'm seeing futures
So what's the use of knowing the truth if no one's going to believe you?
The Curse of Cassandra. My vision eyes
Reveal all the answers and seem to leave no surprises" ~MC Golden Boy
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I read your post about Steve giving Eddie the silent treatment for being annoying and I imagine eddie said something annoying and Steve just kind of straightened up, nodded his head to himself like “Okie dokie. That does it” and just walked out of the room. 😂 Eddie just crossed a line that neither of them knew was there 😂
oh 100%
The problem really stems from how Eddie let himself get used to having four people in the house, so when both Moe and Robbie move out and Hazel gets her driver’s license all within the span of three-ish years, Steve becomes the primary target of Eddie’s button-pushing by default.
To his credit, Steve is used to Eddie being a pain in the ass. They’d been together for almost a decade before Moe was born and he’d known that about him even before then so his tolerance for Eddie’s shenanigans is pretty high.
The compounding nature of it is what he has a hard time with, so when Eddie wakes Steve up early on the one morning he doesn’t need to be up early trying to show him stupid memes and then tugs all the blankets off of him and then spends five minutes shaking the ice water he’d put in Moe’s old Hydro Flask the night before to prove that the ice hadn’t melted and then, when Steve is finally about to doze off again, has the audacity to poke him in the side and say this:
“If Tommy Hagan tracked you down to say that he’s gay and still in love with you, would you divorce me for him?”
–that, for Steve, is game over.
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I think Nightcloud's Thaw (assuming you keep that title) is a great idea not only because your Nightcloud is so interesting and because she as a character deserves more spotlight, but also because it would be interesting to see Crowfeather begin to change from her perspective. After all, you said it was a surprise he offered to help save Breezepelt at all- and what better way to show that than for us to not be inside his head when he makes the decision to offer to help?
I'm feeling more and more confident about it. I think BB!Nightcloud is absolutely the best choice of a character to observe the events of "Crowfeather's Trial," now Nightcloud's Thaw.
Nightcloud's Thaw is an okay title for now, but I want to bat around some more names.
It's meant to invoke the way her life begins to turn around, after Crowfeather's exile; beginning with that reveal, how Crowfeather's behavior reaches a breaking point in the Clan, her reputation turn-around, and finally accepting Crowfeather's help in aiding Breezepelt.
So "thaw" is one way to put it... but if I could capture something more related to the change of seasons or time, that would be good too. Nightcloud's Daybreak, Nightcloud's Horizon.
We can go through Nightcloud's process of unlearning with her.
The dread and fury at the reveal, the shock when Crowfeather actually sees a consequence, and the way that suddenly the Clan is sympathetic towards her in a way they'd never been
How this newfound empathy feels somewhat insulting to her, but, how it helps her start to realize that she DOESN'T deserve how Crow treats her.
Makes it easy to truncate most of OotS, can quickly be described as "they stayed together slightly longer, but if it wasn't dead, their relationship was quickly dying."
And really get to the meat of the story with how Crowfeather deflecting the blame of their son's Dark Forest training on her was the LAST straw. For everyone. Including Crowfeather himself.
(I think I'll actually change around the fight in the BOTTE to be Breeze attacking CROW, and Lionblaze STOPS him. Because killing his pathetic dad, in the end, wouldn't fix anything and would ruin his life forever. Really change it to stress that no one likes Crowfeather because of how he keeps treating people. If Crow wants to turn that around, he has to CHANGE.)
(Plus, something just feels nice about letting the two have a bond. Something about how they were both pulled out of the dirt at the Kitty Olympics and washed clean by Nightcloud, starting this deep, brotherly bond somehow. I'll have to revisit this.)
Nightcloud alone can link the way that Crowfeather is trying to change himself, AND the way Breezepelt is getting worse, in the way I want
She's cautious of Crowfeather, for good, obvious reasons. He hurt her, and has only ever used her good faith as leverage against her.
And she's charitable to Breezepelt, because she knows exactly what pain is behind his rash, emotional behaviors.
SO I can frame them both in the way I want through her eyes.
Plus, I need a place to put her childhood. If it's not here, I wouldn't have a good spot to put it.
I could link all the flashback segments with having Addersong pass away, since he would be VERY old at this point. It could be very bittersweet for her
She spent so much time away from her beloved mentor, who taught her so much.
She could have had so many wonderful years with him, his advice, and his songs. But now he's an elder in his last moons
All because she let her heart be hardened after the death of her family. Pain lead her astray so many times...
I'll probably rework a LOT of the stoat stuff. I know right away there's a lot of actions in CT I want to rip away from Crowfeather and hand over to Breezepelt; a lot of the loud, openly argumentative moments he has with Onestar for example. SHOW the way that Breezepelt interprets Harespring/Darkseeker's diplomatic responses as "sniveling and traitorous" to him.
Have Nightcloud be trying to bridge this gap between Breezepelt and his Clanmates with her new reputation, and it just not working.
Maybe shuffle Nightcloud's disappearance near the end of the book, around the time that the Kin appears. Show that his mother being suspected dead was a BIG reason Breezepelt made such an emotional choice to join the Kin, and bring his other allies with him.
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kinda random but i think the biggest power fantasy i commonly see in fics doesn't have anything to do w superpowers or everyone liking the main character, it's living in adverse conditions and being able to work yourself out of them through sheer force of individual willpower.
i think it goes hand-in-hand with the absolutely unrealistic depiction of autodidactism, where you can learn everything perfectly well from books and youtube. it's the idea that you can just use hard work and knuckle through and eventually you'll come out the victor and also be leagues ahead of everyone.
it's understandable but telling that the most common depictions in fandom of abused or disadvantaged characters includes them being the best and most perfect person ever, and that they tend to get out of a situation by themselves, generally accompanied by a confrontation where they emerge as morally superior and everyone gawks at them and applauds their virtue.
i get the urge, but it's truly a fantasy, and i think the more challenging and ultimately empowering scenario is reaching out to others and being helped bit by bit. idk where exactly i'm going with this, but i guess my point is that no one actually lives in a vacuum.
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"I'm not reading all of that" is not a wise retort to a one-paragraph comment. If the comment is irretrievably stupid, sure, say that. But if one paragraph is an insurmountable hurdle to discourse (the discourse you have initiated by your own free will), then... well. Well!
(Of course, this does not apply to a paragraph that is full of bigotry or hatred. Or if someone is haranguing you about something out of the blue. However, if you've initiated the conversation and then turn tail at a single paragraph, why even start the discussion, lol?)
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