#happy birthday mum I love you can't live without you

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

It's my Mum's birthday! 🎈 🎂 Bit of a silly and sweet story time!

As it was mum's birthday, and my dad arranged an event of surprising her at 12 o' clock, he said he wanted to sing a song and read her a poem 😂😭. Me and my 2 siblings of course agreed and were ready.

By 11.59 PM, me and my siblings were preparing the cake called Lapis Legit (it's called Spekkoek in Dutch. It's like a luxurious 100 layered cake that we prepared for my mum in secret). We were already preparing the guitar, the phone to record, the candles, and everything, and then my parents' bedroom door OPENED 💀

We all turned around in shock, and there stood my MUM LIKE-- 🧍🏻‍♀️And we were like 🧍🎸 🧍🏻‍♀️🎂 🧍🏻‍♀️🎈🎈

"...Ma go back to sleep."

"I wanna pee 😂."

"oh ok."

And then she went to the toilet and back to the bedroom and we were like FUUUUUCKKK on the inside.

Anyway by 12 PM we entered my parents' bedroom quitely, and saw my mum was trying so hard to hold her laugh, meanwhile my dad the event organizer was SNORING SO LOUD 😭 📢

Anyway we started singing happy birthday and dad read her a long ass love poem (it was surprisingly good we were shocked af lmao) and we sang my dad's favourite love song. His voice was FLAT AF 😭 but we helped him.

---

So yea just wanna share that. Never really failed a birthday surprise like that before so that was kinda fun and eventful 😂

[justanothersanjilover]

So I got this idea about a Zosan Soulmate AU and just had to write a little bit about it. I don't know how fast I can update this, but its a start and I’m going to keep writing it 😊

My Name on your tongue

Part 1

Paring: Zosan (maybe Sanzo, too)

Soulmate AU

Triggers: Child abuse, swear words, death

Six years old

“In our world, you get something very special when you turn 18. You get to summon a familiar - an animal, mythical or natural - that will be your companion throughout your whole life. The animal you summon is based on what you need in life and what fits you. No one knows who’s assigning the animal to you, but it always fits.

Now, if you are very passionate and loving toward your familiar and it returns that feeling, there is a chance that it will turn into a human and become your soulmate. But this only happens when there exists such a strong bond that both of you would endure the greatest pain imaginable for the other. The bond has to be so strong that you’d die for each other.

Most people don't put in the effort because why go to that length for an animal? Also, there is no greater need to be with your soulmate unless your familiar turns into it. You can perfectly live without ever getting your soulmate.”

“Is father your soulmate?” Sanji wanted to know, looking up at his mum.

Sora shook her head, her expression somewhat painful, but her son didn't pick up on that fact.

“But…you don't have a familiar around.”

“I know,” Sora swallowed drily. “She…she died. She wanted to protect me and got badly injured. I couldn't help her.”

Sanji looked shocked at her.

“I’m sorry…”

He snuggled against his mother to comfort her. She smiled sadly and brushed a hand through his blond hair.

“When you get your familiar, make sure to protect them. It’s a really bad feeling to lose them forever.”

“I promise. And I will love them so much! I can't wait to meet them!”

Sanji was so different from his siblings, and Sora was thankful for that, but she knew that he would have it worse than them. While pregnant with him and his three brothers, her husband genetically modified them - against Sora’s will. He made them stronger, more durable - as he called it - faster and better in anything. He got rid of their emotions and made sure they would become his best soldiers. In doing this, he also hoped to influence the familiar they’d get. He wanted them to have big, brutal animals - monsters to make their enemies shake in fear. Sora had watched him silently get rid of the emotions and feelings of their oldest child, their daughter Rejiu. He somehow managed to manipulate her into an obedient, emotionless kid, strong and fast, and an expert in poisons despite her young age. She was his first perfect soldier.

But Sora wasn't standing by as he tried to corrupt her other children! So, after learning about Judges doing, Sora took a poison to destroy the modifications. Unfortunately, it only worked on Sanji. On the one hand, she was happy for him; on the other, she was sad and devastated. Sanji would never have any worth for his father; he’d always be the failure, and she was the reason why.

Although Sanji always smiled when he came to visit, she saw the bruises and cuts. She saw the pain behind his young eyes. She knew what his siblings and father were doing to him, and she could do nothing to stop them. So she always tried to give him the best times when he came to visit her. Unfortunately, the poison she took destroyed her body and made her bedbound.

Hugging Sanji tightly, she did her best not to start to cry. She knew that her days were counted…and it would be the end of the night when she would leave Sanji behind to deal with everything all by himself. The only ray of light was that at least on his eighteenth birthday, he would get a familiar that surely would protect him. That was why she told him all about familiars! She wanted him to know as much as possible, as much as humanity found out about them. Sanji sucked everything up like a sponge!

The only thing she wasn't allowed to tell him was how to summon his familiar. Because if a familiar was summoned before the eighteenth birthday, there were terrible side effects. Sometimes, the familiar wasn't fully developed….like the child. Other times, the child couldn't hold the image of the familiar (which was important), and it would turn out deformed. And then there were times when the familiar was an adult and got really protective and possessive of the child - sometimes so much it had to be put down because no one could touch the child without getting attacked, even when the kid was hurt, starving or anything else putting its life in danger. So she wouldn't tell Sanji - even if a protective familiar wouldn't be the worst…she wanted them to have a chance at getting real friends, and Sora hoped Sanji would be allowed to find his soulmate. She hoped he could experience this purest kind of love in the world.

“You need to go,” Sora mumbled into Sanji’s hair. “It’s past visiting time.”

“I don't want to…”

“I know, love. I know. But your father will get mad if you stay, and you know that.”

Sanji nodded, suppressing sobs, as he pulled away from his mother. He lifted his head and smiled at her.

“I’ll come again tomorrow.”

“Yeah, do that. I can't wait to see you again, my little angel.”

Sora hugged him tight and placed a kiss on top of his head. Why should she tell him that she wouldn't be there in the morning? It would only upset him and make him sad and guilty. She felt her spirits leave her body slowly but surely. At the end of the night, she’d be dead, and Sanji would be alone. Before she let him go, she brushed a hand through his hair and made him look up into her eyes.

“Remember that I will always love you, my little sunshine. Regardless of what will happen in your future. I’ll love you every day of your life and after it.”

Sanji looked a bit confused, but as soon as Sora smiled, he smiled back, placed a quick, wet kiss on her cheek and ran out - so his father wouldn't punish him.

~

“Useless!”

“I’m trying…” Sanji sobbed, holding the side of his face - it pulsed with pain, and he was sure his lip was bleeding.

“That's the point!” His father yelled. “You are trying! You shouldn't have to try! You should be able just to do it!”

“But I…” another blow, and Sanji flew backward against a pillar of the training room - he groaned in pain when he hit the stone with full force.

“You are weak! A false experiment! A fucking failure! I should just get rid of you!”

Judge was towering over his son like death himself. And Sanji couldn't do anything different than feel fear and hurt and disgust at his own body. The poison from his father's lips seeped into his mind and planted a dangerous seed. He cried when Judge grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and held him up to his face.

“And that's why you don't have a familiar. You will never get one! Never! I took that ability from you because it would be as weak as you are, and I don't have use for two failures in my kingdom!”

Sanji sobbed uncontrollably. Ever since he asked his father about his own familiar - which was a big, dragon-like creature always lurking behind his throne - he left no chance unused to point out that Sanji would never have one. Sanji didn't understand why he would rip this opportunity from him, why he was such a mistake in his father's eyes. Just because he wasn't as strong as his siblings? Because his skin started to bleed when cut or punched hard enough? Because he cried when he got hurt?

“Get out of my sight before I start losing my temper,” Judge growled and tossed him aside like a back of garbage.

Sanji scrambled to his feet and ran from the training room, hoping his brothers wouldn't wait outside like they did most of the time. His hopes crashed when he closed the door, and laughter sounded behind him.

“Look at that,” Yonji said.

“The weakling is back out,” Ichiji grinned.

“Seems like he still can't handle a punch,” Niji snickered.

His brothers gathered around him, laughing and pointing at him. Sanji felt tears in his eyes but tried to swallow them. He hated to cry in front of his brothers, just as much as he hated to do so in front of his father. His eyes searched for pink hair, and surely, he found his sister, standing in the background but grinning as evil as the rest of them.

“Leave me alone,” he sobbed - knowing very well it would turn in the opposite of what he wanted…but he couldn’t stop himself from saying it.

“What?”

“We couldn’t hear you over all your whining.”

“I think he said we should show him how to fight.”

And a blink of an eye later, he crashed against the wall and slid down to the floor. Lying there, he curled up into a ball to at least try and shield his stomach and face from the kicks and blows that rained down on him like a hailstorm.

In the end, he was beaten bloody, and they left him where he was lying. His eyes stared into nothingness while his tears mixed with the blood and formed little puddles on the floor.

Hours later, he was able to drag himself to his bedroom. Curling up in his bed, Sanji felt tears in his eyes again.

“Why?” He cried into his pillow. “Why am I not like them? Why do I have to be this way?”

He knew why, his mother had told him, but still…There were moments when he hated his emotions, and he would give them up just to see the same smile on his father's face, pointed at him like he was giving his siblings.

He was worthless, and that's also why he would never have a familiar, which made him cry even more. Since his mother died two months ago, he always comforted himself with the knowledge that he’d get a chance to meet his soulmate. But because he was weak, because of his emotions, Judge took this ability, this gift from him. The first time he mentioned it to Sanji, his whole world was shattered. He didn't even feel the hits his father was dealing. He was numb…almost lifeless. The only thing he was looking forward to - the only thing that made his little heart and mind strong enough to survive and not give up - was the reassuring thought of meeting his familiar.

After his breakdown, he thought maybe, if he got better, if he could prove to his father that he was worth keeping around…maybe he would give him the ability to get his familiar back.

“I have to…get stronger…” Sanji sobbed while drifting to sleep.

All he wanted was to be loved and be part of this family…

[toomuchracket]

d word matty meeting ur parents would be bit awks but SO sweet and they obviously love him

oh i'm imagining like maybe they've already met in passing at a birthday party of yours (everyone was there: family, friends, colleagues) before you and matty were a thing; matty was slightly tipsy but very sweet talking to them about you briefly like "oh we'd fall apart without her. she's incredible. so talented. so sweet. so funny. just a light in all our lives, really", and your parents afterwards were like "him with the hair - we like him" lol. and because of that encounter, when you tell them you're dating matty ("yes, mum, the one with the hair") they're less concerned about the fact that a) he's your colleague, technically your superior (but he isn't really) and b) he's a tad older than you; they're still a little bit wary, though. but by the end of the dinner you and matty go to with them, they love him more than you do lmao. before you leave, matty's literally shitting it to see them - "i know i've met them before, darlin', but not as your boyfriend. of course i'm scared!" - like properly stressing about what to wear and does he need a tie and whether or not he should have a drink now to calm his nerves lol, while you're remarkably calm about the whole thing. to be fair, it's a little awkward at first, because they've already been introduced so you can't really do small talk to break the ice, but then your parents bring up an embarrassing story from your childhood and the three of them are all laughing and sharing cringe anecdotes about you within minutes - you pretend to be annoyed, but you're internally so relieved and so happy things are going well. the conversation flows quite nicely from that point on, and by home time matty and your parents are genuine besties, making plans to meet up again and go to a concert (you're actually not sure if you're invited lmfao). before you leave, your mum pulls you aside to be like "he is WONDERFUL. i'd say 'don't let him go', but from the way he looks at you and how much he told us he likes you when you were at the loo, i think he'd follow you even if you did. he's perfect for you, he really is", and you're so so pleased and very touched, because you think matty's wonderful and perfect for you too (he really is) <3

[oceangirl24]

What's in a name?

I'm not sure I've ever publicly shared how/why Audrey was named Audrey. Years ago, in an author's note on FFN, I shared why her mother was named Elizabeth Julia Andrews nee Wells.

"Audrey's mother's name, place of birth, and birthday (October 1) are in honor of my favorite actress, Julie Andrews. Dame Julie's birthname was Julia Elizabeth Wells (Audrey's mum is Elizabeth Julia Wells). Her (Julie Andrews) parents divorced when she was young and she took her stepfather's last name, Andrews. Her pen name is Julie Edwards (Her husband is director Blake Edwards)."

In the Return, Jon and Audrey's oldest daughter is named for her grandmother, bringing the name back to Julia Elizabeth.

As for Audrey, she was also a tribute to Julie Andrews and another actress during the same time who left an indelible mark on Hollywood- Audrey Hepburn.

How is naming Audrey after Audrey Hepburn a tribute to Julie Andrews? Julie Andrews originated the role of Eliza Dolittle in the Broadway version of "My Fair Lady" (1956). Audrey Hepburn took over the role for the film version (1964). This was a bit controversial at the time as Andrews was considered the perfect Eliza and Hepburn's singing voice had to be dubbed. However, Julie had no screen experience and Audrey was an established star. It all worked out in the end as "Mary Poppins" followed closely by "The Sound of Music" established Julie's on-screen presence and stardom for all time.

The meaning of the name Audrey also suits my girl to a T:

As for Audrey Hepburn, she is an incredibly interesting person separate from her acting career.

Favorite quotes from Audrey Hepburn that Audrey Andrews has posted on her walls somewhere:

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."

"I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally; I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped. Most of the time it just happened to me without my ever seeking it."

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."

"True friends are families which you can select."

"There are more important things than outward appearance. No amount of makeup can cover an ugly personality."

"Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book, and remembering because you can't take it in all at once."

"If my world were to cave in tomorrow, I would look back on all the pleasures, excitements and worthwhilenesses I have been lucky enough to have had. Not the sadness, not my miscarriages or my father leaving home, but the joy of everything else. It will have been enough."

“They say love is the best investment; the more you give, the more you get in return.”

[lilundeadarchangel]

Okay I need to tell you a sick ass experience I had yesterday because I'm still so excited every time I think about it. It's CoD related:D and I have the best fucking friends in the world.

My birthday was the 22th of February, but my mom organized this little party with my friends so that we could celebrate it together.

Anyway, I have this group of friends I cosplay CoD characters with, and since they live a little far away from where I live, I was sure they couldn't be there, except for one. I was sad, but I was happy about that one friend that cosplays Ghost, so we thought about doing a cool entrance with him in cosplay being my sort of bodyguard, doing something cool y'know?

Well, I arrive there, and then he texts me that he had problems on the way and would arrive late. I immediately knew the entrance idea was ruined, so I just walked down the stairs, and when I entered the room the party was the other guests were there, and I was obviously happy.

But here is when the thing happens: I hear the Modern Warfare II's theme starting to play, and I was shocked and confused af because that was the music me and my friend would do the entrance with, but I knew he wouldn't be there. I was wrong. Because when I turn around I see my friend walking towards me in full Ghost mode and put on this sort of kidnapping/arrest show(the coolest fucking thing) putting me down in my knees as another one put a blindfold on my eyes. There were smoke and lights and as I heard the music I just continued to smile even though I was confused and didn't know what the fuck was happening.

Then the blindfold was off and I see them: the friends I thought wouldn't be there that night, all in front of me, some in cosplay(OG Ghost, 22 Ghost, König and Makarov by my side), some not, looking down at me. I literally couldn't belive it and I started crying(pov I didn't stop for the whole night) and immediately hugged them as tight as possible. Later I found out that my mum and them have been organizing this surprise for me for the past two months and I didn't know anything. Anything.

It was literally the best moment of my life. I've never been happier than when I saw them and one of them pulled me up and they all hugged me as I cried. Also they gifted me a rifle for my cosplay with a big ass pink ribbon on it. Fucking perfect.

My friend that cosplays OG Ghost gave me the weapon and said"This is yours. König can't go around without his rifle, you know that right?" And I had the biggest smile I've ever had in my life and I've never felt more loved.

I love my friends so much.

[hsfan94]

Christmas Prank

An: I ran out of time to make this as great as I wanted but I hope you like it. Merry Christmas lovies!

Y/n had been wanting to pull a prank on Harry for a while. It all started when he got her good on his birthday this year.

“Happy birthday, Harry!” She sang as she skipped into their bedroom with fresh chocolate chip pancakes for him.

“It’s not a very happy one, Y/n,” he said.

“What do you mean, my love? You just woke up?”

“We need to talk.”

“What?” She started to panic. She set his food down next to him. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I just don’t think I want you to be my girlfriend anymore.” He sat up and took a sip of the coffee she brought him. He seemed so unbothered.

She had no idea where this was coming from.

“What, why? Since when?” She felt her heart drop.

“I don’t know. I’m just kind of tired of calling you my girlfriend.”

He leaned over and opened his bedside drawer. She couldn’t focus on his movements though as her whole world was falling apart.

“Harry, where is this coming from? Did I do something wrong? I love you, I can't live without you.”

She started sobbing and that caused him to pull her to the bed next to him. She could feel something in his hand on her back but she couldn’t open her eyes.

“Lovie, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have listened to Niall.”

Now she was really confused.

“Huh?” She pulled back from where her head had been buried in his neck to look at him. He was pouting at her.

“He said this would be a funny way to do it and it would catch you off guard.”

He pulled his arm from behind her back, revealing the object in his hand to be a small black velvet box.

“Oh.” She saw where this was going and although she was livid, she was also speechless.

“All I want for my birthday is for you to agree to be my wife, although now I think I’ve ruined my chance.”

He opened it up to reveal the most beautiful ring ever.

“I’d love to be your wife. I’m so glad you don’t want to break up.” She kissed him. “However, this was horribly mean of you so I don’t know when, I don’t know how but I will get you back.”

He smiled and put the ring on her finger.

Despite being so excited to officially be the future Mrs. Styles, she still owed her fiancé some payback.

Harry was on tour until the 13th so he asked her to do the shopping for him and that was his mistake. He gave her a great idea. Y/n bought real presents, the ones Harry had on his list, as well as gag presents for Anne and Gemma. She had called them a couple weeks ago when she was out shopping to let them in on it and get their help. They were excited to be a part of her plan. She had everything wrapped up and in the car ready for their drive to Holmes Chapel and he was none the wiser.

Now, everyone (Anne, Darren, Gemma, Michael, Harry and Y/n) was sat around the living room about to exchange gifts and Y/n was practically buzzing in her seat.

“Baby, do you want to give your mum and sister theirs first?” She leaned her head back to look at her fiancé.

She had been sitting on the floor with Harry on the couch behind her with his legs on either side of her shoulders. Her head was resting on his knee as she peeked up at him.

“Sure. Will you hand them to them?”

She nodded and practically jumped up to give the gifts to her in-laws. She winked at them as she handed them their gifts.

“Harry picked these out for you guys.” She couldn’t contain her smile.

She sat back down, this time on Harry’s late so she could look at his reaction up close.

Anne went first, slowly pulling the tissue out of her bag. Before showing the family what it was she gasped in excitement for dramatic effect.

“You picked this out, Harry? How did you know I’ve always wanted one?”

“I sure did. And you talk about it all the time.”

Y/n snickered and Anne took that as her cue to keep going. She pulled out an intricately laced black teddy. Y/n looked at Harry because his grip on her leg had tightened. His eyes were blown wide and his cheeks were starting to pink.

“I love it. Thank you both very much.”

“I- I-“ He stumbled on words.

It was priceless, Y/n thought.

“Gemma, you go next,” she said. Her arms, which were draped around her fiancé, pulled him closer in an attempt to seem unbothered.

“Darling, what happened to what was on the list?” Harry finally whispered in her ear.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.” She looked at him and brushed his hair back. Then, she turned to her future sister-in-law and said, “go on Gem.”

Gemma didn’t drag it out as her mother did. In fact she took a completely different approach overall. Pulling out a red laced teddy she looked at her brother with a horrified expression.

“Harry! How do you think these are appropriate gifts for your family?”

“I- I don’t. I don’t know what’s happening.” He looked at Y/n as if waiting for an explanation.

“Please darling, you and I both know that’s not true. You made the list and I did the shopping.”

Was this gaslighting? Maybe she was taking it too far but she was getting a kick out of it.

His mouth opened and closed a few times, pure shock on his face. He looked around the room a few times.

After Y/n felt she’d had enough she busted out laughing. Anne and Gemma followed her.

“Baby, I’m sorry. But I never got over your proposal so I wanted to get you back. The real presents are still under the tree.” She pulled him close and kissed the side of his head.

“You should have seen your face, Harry,” Gemma said, a huge smile on her face.

“What? You guys were all in on this?” Harry was shaking his head and rubbing his eyes as if it was some kind of dream.

“Sorry, love but your missus called me and Gem a few weeks ago and told us about how she wanted to get you back and the idea seemed really fun. You seriously owe her a new proposal.”

Harry seemed to have gotten over it as his hands snaked around Y/n’s waist and pulled her close.

“You’re so mean.” It was mumbled into her neck but everyone heard.

“So are you.” She laughed. “That’s why we fit.”

He pulled his face from her neck and smiled.

“I guess I do owe you a do over.”

He gave her a soft quick peck on the lips.

“Alright enough. You guys can open your real gifts now. Thank you for playing along.”

The rest of the day was spent opening gifts, drinking hot chocolate and talking about what happened this year and what’s to come in the new year and Y/n was sure she’d never been happier.

[naehja]

ok little idea that i shared with @officersnickers on pm =)

It all start when the demons decide to choose one woman in all the ones who are pregnants OR who gave birth to a baby in less of a year (so a baby who has not been sent in an orphanage for now).

Why? Because of a anniversary of the promise, for exemple, and one demon suggest to free ONE woman and her born (or still unborn) baby. The queen is not happy but she thinks that nothing will assure that the baby will be a good student and will have good scores so…she just decided that one woman will have two more baby to compense the lost of these two.

They decide to limit the choice at Grace Field: So a woman at the Grace Field headquarter, who is pregnant or who gave birth since less of a year.

You can guess, it's Isabella who is chosen. She has give birth to her baby since 6 months and was finishing her training before being sent to Grace Field House 3. She was going to be send to the orphenage in like...one week. One week later and she would have been removed of the selection.

One day she is given the new and can't believe it. She will have the chip in her heart and the one in her ear removed. Her tattoo will also be removed. And her baby will be given back to her, his own tattoo removed too.

One demon is very greedy and says "you are not forced to take your baby with you, you can leave him here if you want to forget everything about this life"

But Isabella, even if she is not especially attached (for now) to her baby who is the symbol of his captivity and slavery (or it's what she want to believe)... refuses to let him here (so it's a boy..she didn't know) because she refuses to let the demons win, even a little. She'll have the last word, she'll not let her baby between their claws.

So when she return of the surgery, without chip or tattoo, she sees, in her room, in a cradle, a baby with some black hair on the head and a bandage on the neck, where was his tattoo, who has been removed too. He cries because he suffers of the removal of ther tattoo but as soon she takes him in his arms, he calms down immediatly.

Like if he recognized her.

Or maybe (probably) because he just wanted attention.

The Ratri clan offers her a appartement, they help Isabella to have a diplome ir two and also help her to find a job, they give her a bank account with a nice sum in it, and then, they leave her alone, in the human world, free.

Years pass, Isabella get used to her freedom, to her new life. Ray grows up in a world where he'll never been in danger.

Sometimes, he does nightmares where he sees monsters, and sometimes he touches his neck but there are nothing here, right? Why he feels weird about it...he doesn't understand.

When he's 6, Isabella feels happy, really happy. In another life, her son's life would now be at risk to be ended any months. Even if he's smart and would have probably survived until 12 years old. The thought of "he'll live past his 12th birthday" comes at her and she starts to cry, and Ray panicks "mum what's wrong?"

Now he's 8 and they speak about Ray's nightmares who come back so often. Isabella admits everything to him and he can't believe the luck they have had. He doesn't resent her, he can't blame her because he knows she loves him and he loves her too. And she looks so sad when she speaks about it....

He's almost 12 and she smiles because Ray will live, will grow up, will become a teenager and then a adult. no woman will take him to a gate to be killed and he'll never been eaten by a demon.

(Meanwhile Norman discovered the secret of the orphernage, but has bveen shipped to Lambda and Emma has lead the escape alone, with Don and Gilda and maybe another kid who took Ray's place? Maybe a kid who will sacrify his life for her at Goldy Pond?)

(After that, everything is the same except that Ray isn't here)

When Ray is 13, one day, a lot of children and adults with tatoos appears everywhere in the world. Isabella has flashbacks and wonders what happens. And then her son comes back with a unconscious girl with ginger hair. He finds her in the forest near of their home he says.

The girl wakes up, but her green eyes are full of confusion and she doesn't remember anything.

Isabella has now a house with four bedrooms (she had started to think about having another kid, just a thought for now) and offers one to the girl.

Months later, a lot of kids find her and call her "Emma". but she chooses to stay with Isabella and Ray because she got attached to them. And she enjoys to lives with them.

Everyone is confused to learn that Isabella and Ray WERE former cattle people but have been spared by the demons for some weird reasons.

"but why? Why you?"

"Actually i have never got a reason from them"

Everyone is even more confused to see Ray so attached to his mum (even knowing everything) because they have mixed feelings toward the one who raised them. She loved them but she had shipped so much of their siblings.

I shared this idea but i don't plan to write it. So if you are inspired...feel free to take it =)

[starlightshadowsworld]

So...I'm moving back with my parents.

Never saw that coming.

But my mum and I talked.

A lot.

About everything that's happened, why I left, and just everything.

I can't really put it into words but it felt like I was talking and for the first time my mum saw me.

She has a lot of regrets, about how she treated my depression growing up, how she reacted to me self harming.

How she knows better now and is just so fucking sorry and wants to be better.

And and in the nicest way possible she looks terrible.

Like the whole things aged her.

Promising me this will never happen again.

And that we as a family are gonna get help and she wants to repair her relationship with me.

She's even gonna cut back her work hours which she's never done, not since I was a baby.

I don't know what's gonna happen. But I am hoping that she follows through.

My little brother got so happy when I told him... Okay my grandma told him.

It's a couple days till his birthday and he hugged me and said its the best birthday suprise he could ask for.

I mean I was gonna give him money but okay 😅.

My grandma's reaction is kinda funny tho cos she went yess, and you are loved and I love you and your mum rants at my mother now we can go Pakistan.

We haven't told my dad or my grandma who lives with us.

Or even my uncle it's a suprise for everyone.

I don't regret leaving.

I was in the lowest point I've ever been it and I don't know if I'd still be here if I hadn't.

I stayed at a friend's for 2 weeks and stayed at my uncles since.

It's been almost 5 months since I've been home.

Not gonna lie... I'm scared.

I'm scared everything will go back to what it was.

But less so than I thought, which is wild because prior to this talk I couldn't even think of my old house without getting anxious.

But who knows till I get their.

I think I'm gonna be okay, least I hope so.

Be nice not to worry about the day my uncle can't have me here anymore.

Because no job, the fucker that is the cost of living crisis in England.

Don't look so good.

Love my uncle, can never repay him for the support he's given me.

Man has 3 kids and a wife he supports by financially by himself, was struggling and I didn't even know it.

And he didn't let me know, didn't want me to worry. Just wanted me to have a safe place to stay.

Getting him and then some thank you gifts for dealing with my ass.

Butt yeah.

New chapter I guess, here we go.

[loveisalwaystheanswer]

15 questions and 15 mutuals

tagged by incredibly kind @lordjohnwgrey thank you, gorgeous 😘

were you named after anyone? great grandmother on my mum's side.

when was the last time you cried? I cried when I was watching Normal people last sunday, especially hard at the last scene 💔 Without a piece of art to trigger me, I also cried on my birthday this year.

do you have kids? No, but I want to.

do you use sarcasm a lot? This is my coping mechanism. Even though, I try to do it less, but it's almost impossible when my mum is around 😅

what’s the first thing you notice about people? Their eyes and their vibe (energy, charisma etc.)

what's you eye color? Blue-green.

scary movies or happy endings? Happy, very happy, INDECENTLY HAPPY endings (or at least open), please give me some hope.

any special talents? I'm a really good catcher of accidently falling objects. I've been practicing my skills of being clumsy for years. Also, I'm really good at photography.

where were you born? Moscow, born and raised.

what are your hobbies? Singing, getting dressed up and photography. Reading or watching stories and listening to music, as a way to learn more about my feelings and emotions. I love taking care of plants.

have any pets? Two rescued siberian fluffy butts.

what sports do you play/have you played? I was an ultimate benchwarmer girlie at school. Didn't like sports at all. But now I can't live without a good workout. And I used to do it for a living (ex fitness trainer).

how tall are you? 166cm (5'5")

favorite subject in school? Literature and history. Chemistry was also pretty cool.

dream job: I wanted to be an actress for a very long time. Now I'm more inclined to say fashion designer/stylist. But honestly? I don't want to limit myself to one job. I'd just like to be considered an artist.

tagging: @i-just-look-at-pictures obviously! And anyone who wants to spend their time doing this 😌

[sapphiccanadian]

Happy international lesbian day to you my friend!!!

My name is B. A closeted lesbian who's looking to come out to her family this month. In my almost two years of existence on this blog, I've read different “coming out stories” which has been a whole motivation to me- I hereby set a day in mind, to come out to my family. However things took a turn as my mom who i thought would be free of her ovarian cancer by said date developed a kidney problem just after ovarian cancer- she means the whole world to me and her acceptance is what I yearn for with my coming out. She has always said we should allow her die and has been unmotivated about life until her birthday few weeks ago (sept 11) where a whole lot of people on this app sent their good wishes, drawings, and words of encouragement to her. We turned everything sent into a blanket for her and she's been wrapping herself with the love she received- she wants to live again and fight for the sake of strangers who believed in her(so she said). The medical personnel admits it is the best time to have her surgery (Ureteral Stent Placement surgery) because she has the right mood and mindset. Unfortunately for us, we are 500$ away from getting her surgery, it’s almost a month after her birthday and her fighting spirit is dying- I also can't come out to a dying mother- I need her to be fine before my coming out date(20th Oct). We've created a crowdfunding link for her but we've only raised 85$ of 500$. Would you please help not only my mom but my coming out plan by donating whatever you can spare for my mom's surgery? No matter how small, This would go a longer way than you think- please click the link below to support I and my family:

buymeacoffee.com/Plantlover

You can also find more information about her Ovaria cancer/ infected kidney on my pinned post.  Thank you for sticking with us through thick and thin. 

Hi B! Happy international lesbian day

Unfortunately, I personally cannot donate (unemployed minor without an online payment method anyway-) the most I can do is share this and hopefully find people who can help!

I sincerely hope you can raise the funds you need and your mum has a quick and easy recovery.

Good luck with your coming out, it's hard but totally worth it, and hopefully you have an extremely supportive family!

So, everyone who can, go help this person and their mum!!

[imabillyami]

Hiii mate

I know I keep spamming you but I can't help but say this. I really hope you get through your visit with your family without anymore crappy situations 🥲 and get outta what sounds like a a toxic situation 😔 this might sound dramatic but my heart aches for you, to hear what's going on 😕 I hope you get a break from it all

On a brighter note I saw your Sami and Usos figurines 😍 AND loved the little snippet of your WIP fic that you posted! 😁

Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! for Saturday!! Hope it turns out to be so much more than you expected! 🥰🥰

Take care of yourself!

Ta

🐨

Hi friend 💙

Thanks so much for this beautifully uplifting message. It means a lot.

No more crappy situations is very much wishful thinking. Whenever I’m here it’s just straight up fighting for survival till I can leave again.

There’s a good reason I put 600 kilometers/ 375 miles (which equals 9 to 11 hours spent traveling by train) between us. I pretty much live on the other side of the country lol (which In Europe really isn’t all that far compared to other continents lol).

I only see them once or twice a year for special occasions (only exception being my mum and my sister who sometimes come to visit).

Toxic and abusive pretty much hits the nail on the head. It’s not as bad as my situation growing up was, mostly cause I’m able to stand up for myself these days, but it’s the standing up to them that makes all of this all the more exhausting, if that makes sense.

Anyway.

Yessss. The Funkos are so freaking gorgeous! I just had to get them and what better occasion to treat myself than my birthday, really? Can’t wait to find a place for them in my apartment 🥰

I’m super happy that you enjoyed that fic snippet! I had initially planned to release a new fic/ chapter on my bday, but from the looks of it, I won’t be able to finish any of it in time 😭

Thanks for the early bday wishes! I’ll somehow make it a happy day, always do. Even if it means just stealing my grandparent’s car keys and driving somewhere for the day lol. I’ll figure something out, don’t you worry.

Again. Thanks so much for reaching out and caring! I appreciate you so much!

(I’ll answer your other messages once I’m less tired and in a better headspace, I guess.)

Hugs to you!

[anotherseverussnapelover]

birthday cake

Please remember that I'm neither a native nor fluent English speaker, so if you find any spell/grammatical mistake, feel free to correct me.

Rating : K

Word count : too much (sorry, i didn't count)

Pairing: young!Severus x young!Lily

Fluffy fluff

It was the first January after he befriended Lily. A Saturday, January the 30th, year 1970. A 10 years old Severus was at the park where he usually met his first, one, and only friend, hopping she would come — even if it was cold —because anywhere was better than "home".

He still wore this huge coat, holding it tight, trying to keep the heat with more or less success.

All of a sudden, he heard his name in the distance, and a few seconds later she was there, right in front of him, smiling and shining, maybe more than usual. He instantly felt his body temperature rise, but didn't had the time to speak before she did, her red hair all over her face, her cheeks red with excitement and cold, and the hugest smile Severus ever saw on her face so far.

"Come with me Sev ! We're having cake, it's my birthday ! Mom and Dad said you can come !"

And without thinking, he took her hand and followed his friend throughout the streets to her house.

"ho! I'm glad you found him" told Mrs Evans when they came in. "Hello Severus. Take your shoes and coats off, children, I'll be waiting in the kitchen."

"yes moooooom", she answered while he muttered "yes, Mrs Evans".

Severus was always stunned by the differences with his parents' house. At the Evans house, everything was warmth, and lights, and photographs, and family, and love. He wanted to belong to a place like that, but he knew that this place was not the one he belonged to. He always felt awkward being here. Not unwanted, not undesirable, just... Not fitting in. Mr and Mrs Evans tolerated him because he was Lily's friend, but they never really tried to interact with him — neither did he, rushing into his friend's room to speak about magic or play worms.

"Hello Severus" said Mr Evans, sitting in his armchair, smocking and reading the newspaper, as they crossed the living room. "I'm happy to see you here, Lily didn't want to invite anyone but you today, even though it's her birthday."

Severus was surprised, but more than happy to hear that. She choose him. Him, among all the friends she might have in her school. Because she might have many friends, right ? She was nice, smiley, brilliant — perfect. And perfect people always have many friends.

"Daaaaaaaaad" Lily moaned. "What is it, Lil' ? It's not everyday that my little girl turns 10, innit ?" He mused, looking at them with a smile. "Go bake that cake, I'll be very hungry by tea time."

He turned back to his newspaper, and Lily led Severus to the kitchen, where Mrs Evans was already putting kitchen utensils on the kitchen table.

"Here you are, love. Did you chose the cake you want to bake ?"

"Can I have a chocolate one ? Do you like chocolate Severus ?"

She was almost jumping in excitement, a wide smile on her face, while her mother was picking a cookbook.

"choco- oh, yes, I... Anything is fine, Lil', it's your birthday."

"Ok ! So we will bake the cake you want for your birthday then ! When is it, by the way ? You never told me !"

"oh, huh... T'was on January 9th."

"WHAT ?!" she cried out. "You didn't told me, Sev !"

He could only shrugged his shoulders, an apologetic smile on his face.

"I can't believe you didn't told me ! I'll have to wait a whole year to wish you a happy birthday ! Ugh, Sev !"

"Come and chose a cake, love" Mrs Evans urged them, "We need to start baking soon if you want it to be ready by tea time".

"I want the one with the most chocolate in it, Mum"

"So, this is... the.. chocolate fudge cake, I suppose. Chocolate in the sponge cake, ganache and icing, is that enough chocolate ?"

They smiled to each other before Mrs Evans turned to Severus.

"Can you read the recipe so that we can get the ingredients out, Severus ? It's on page 394"

He took the book she handed him — God it was a heavy book, with a looooooot of recipes — and he sat on a chair, put the book on the table, opened it and began to read. Soon, almost everything was on the table : eggs, flour, butter, sugar (brown and white), and more chocolate than Severus ever saw.

"oh, I think we are out of icing sugar and sour cream. I'm going to Tesco, can you two weight everything while I'm out ?" she asked, taking her apron off.

"leave it to us, Mum ! We will be done before you come back !"

Mrs Evans laughed, reminded them to tie their hair — "even you Severus, Lily has hair clips if you can't tie everything up with the hair tie" —, wash their hands and wear the child sized aprons she took out from a drawer.

10 minutes later, after 3 "no, Lils, I don't want quilts" and 2 "why are all you hair clips pink and yellow ? With rainbows ?!", they where back in the kitchen, washing their hands.

"do you think we can do it with magic, Sev ?" She asked him in a whisper.

"we can try, but should not get caught" he said in the same tone.

"'kay, so, what comes first ?"

"the flour" he answered, checking the recipe, kneeling on a chair to read "175g of it."

"'kay, let's start" she whispered, her face already tensing with focus.

The bowl was already on the scale and the flour pack already open, so they just had to pour some of the latter into the former. The flour pack started to rise in the air, slowly, until it was right above the bowl.

They were both holding their breathes when it started to tip down, slowly, inch by inch, waiting for the flour to fall right into the bowl.

"are you okay, children ?" Asked Mr Evans from the leaving room.

They jumped and whimped out of suprise, and the packet fell, right on the side of the bowl, pouring flour everywhere — the table, the floor, and their clothes, faces and hair.

Hearing the noise, Mr Evans rushed into the kitchen to check on them, asking if they were all right, even though they were coughing and sneezing so hard they couldn't answer.

"daaaaaaad" Lily whimped, her eyes tearing, "we were doing great !"

"sorry love, you two were quiet, I thought something was wrong".

Has Severus not been so focused on trying to not sneeze again, his eyes would've widen of surprise. Mr Evans didn't seem mad at them, like at all. How was that possible? They wasted so much flour ! And flour is food and food costs money!

"for God sake, what happened here ? Did something exploded?" asked Mrs Evans, back from the supermarket, looking at the three of them.

"sorry Mum, I dropped the flour"

"it's okay, Lily, let's clean that up and I will supervise you. You two will have a shower when we're done."

She picked up the broom and cleaned the floor, Mr Evans went back to the living room, and Lily gave Severus apologetics smile and look.

"let's try to take some and put it in the bowl" he huffed, starting to collect the flour on the table.

His friend helped him, and soon, they had collected enough flour to reach the 175g needed.

"why aren't you wearing the aprons ?"

"oops, we forgot it."

Mrs Evans sight, the broom still in her hold. "Ok, put it on and we will bake that cake."

The Evans smiled at each other, and the children get down their chairs. Lily taught to Severus how to wear and tie an apron, because he never wore one before. His mother always wore dresses when she coocked, she confessed it was the same she used to wear when she brew potions, but he didn't told Lily just in case Mrs Evans could hear them.

"now that you two are ready, let's weight everything up and bake that super chocolate cake".

And so they did.

Severus weighted the brown sugar, Lily the white one. She showed her friend how to crack an egg properly, and Mrs Evans didn't became mad when he failed two times, she even smiled at him when he succeeded.

They mixed the dough in turn using that huge wooden spoon, laughing when Severus almost drop the mixing bowl when Lily stirred too hard for him to hold his grip, laughed again when some dough drop out when he did the same, and they smiled at each other when they surreptitiously (or so they thought) ate the dough that have escaped.

Severus has never ate anything like that. It was sweet and chocolatey and smooth and it tasted soooo good !

"Ok, children, time to pour it into the moulds! Who goes first?" Lily's hand rose so fast into the air that Severus couldn't do anything but looking at her, his eyes widen with surprise. "Let's go then, come here my love" told Mrs Evans.

She stand by her daughter while she poured the dough, guiding her, warning her to keep the same amount for the second cake.

He looked at them, hoping that some day, maybe he could do the same with his mother. Having her guiding him to bake, do magic or brew potion would feel really good, but never happened so far. Maybe after his first year at Hogwarts..?

"d'you want to do the second cake Sev?" Lily asked, bringing him back to the present moment. "Can I, really?" he asked back, thinking she wanted to do the all thing. "Yup, sure. Is it okay, Mum?", "Of course, love. Come here, Severus".

So he did, under his friends mother guidance, poured the dough he helped to do in the twin mold, carefully, hoping to not mess anything — because it was Lily's birthday, so everything had to be perfect.

"There's not enough, there's a little bit less than in the first mould" he stated sadly. "Don't worry Severus" replied Mrs Evans, handing him the wooden spoon, "if you scrap the bowl, it will be enough. Why is that spoon clean ? Did you licked it, Lily?"

He turned around to look at his friend while she answered with a "Noooo..?" with a — not so — innocent smile. "Maybe you shouldn't lie when there's evidences all over you face" he laughed, noticing the remains of chocolate dough on her cheeks and nose. Her face turned red as she tried to clean her face with her hand, just to spread it and make Severus laugh harder, while her mother set the timer and put the moulds into the oven, sighting with a smile.

"Well, it's time to cl-"

"Daisy, can i talk to you for a minute, please?" Mr Evans interrupted her. "Of course darling", she answered to her husband before looking at them, "You can eat the remaining dough from the bowl while I'm with Harry, but don't break anything and don't fight. And when I come back, we will do the dishes and clean the table."

"ok, Mum" Lily answered, "we will be suuuuuper careful! We're already 10, you know?". "Yes, i know, love" she whispered, kissing her on the head, "you will have to brush your hair before taking a shower. I'll be back soon".

She left, leaving Lily blushing and Severus troubled about that kiss. Was that a common thing for mothers to kiss their children? So far, he only saw them do it in front of the school doors, and his Mum never did it since he always walked to the school by himself. She never did it at home neither, even though she did pat his head, back or shoulder sometimes.

"if you don't move quickly, I'll eat it all by myself, Sev!". She almost made him jump, and he turned around to find her with the wooden spoon in her hand again, scraping the bowl before licking the dough on the spoon. "Hey! Lil'! Leave me some!" he whimpered before rushing by her side, using his own hand to snare some of the remains before she eats it all. She soon abandoned the (super clean) spoon to scrap the bowl with her bare hands too, starting a "eating dough competition", putting some on the too-clean-face of her best friend, laughing until a "click" and a flash filled the kitchen, making them jump.

They turned to Mr Evans holding his camera, his wife standing behind him.

"Say cheese!" he cheered them. "Come on Severus, smile!" he cheered again, after another click. "3, 2, 1, CHEESE!".

Severus smiled this time, his best friend's arm around his shoulders, forgetful of his face painted with dough, his clothes covered with flour and the yellow hair clips in his hair.

"time to clean that up", stated Daisy, clapping her hands. "Put everything in the sink, and then Lily will wipe the table and Severus will dry the dishes with the dishcloth. Is it ok for you two?"

They agreed, and 20 minutes later, the dishes was clean, the two cakes were baked and put to cool on a counter and the bowl where back on the table. Severus and Lily weighted the icing sugar and mixed it with the butter, while Daisy was melting the chocolate in the heavy cream before pouring it into the bowl.

"I'll finish everything while you take a shower, okay? Lil', love, can you ask Dad a T-shirt for Severus, please? I doubt the he will wear one of yours. You can come down when you're done or stay playing in your room, I'll call when it's time to eat the cake", she told them, her voice and smile soft. "'kay Mum ! C'm'on Sev!" Lily exclaimed, grabbing Severus' hand to lead him to the first floor.

She was showing him how to use the shower when her Dad came to give him a T-shirt and a plastic bag to put his dirty one in. The young boy took the hair clips off of his hair, horrified to have been photographed with that on his head, before brushing it with Lily's brush to take off the remaining flour while she handed him her soap and shampoo, and a clean towel.

He came back from the bathroom 5 minutes later, clean and asking his friend if it was really ok to wear this T-shirt wich looked pretty new, looking at upside down at the words "The Dubliners" written on it.

"'S okay" she answered, "wait here, i won't be long" she told again, heading to the bathroom.

He stayed in the room, looking at the toys and books dispersed around the shelves and floor, and the pale-green sheets ont the bed.

He was reading The Beauty and The beast when she came back, smelling just like him — strawberry and vanilla.

"is that story about human transfiguration ?" He asked, genuinely curious. "I dunno, do you think it is?" she replied, her eyebrows up. "Well it looks like it is. The prince should've been nice with the Wich so he wouldn't 've been cursed. What are they listening down there?" he asked again.

She smiled widely at him before pointing his shirt, musing an enthusiastic "them! Let's go back downstairs!".

She led him again, almost running, to her parents dancing in the living room, their cigarettes smoking in a ashtray. They held out their hand to them, inviting them to join the dance. Not really sure about what to do, Severus found himself jumping everywhere with his friend after a few minutes, laughing loudly and falling on the cushions on the sofa, climbing the arms of the armchairs around the fireplace. They quietened when Mr Evans lowered the sound, announcing the cake will be ready soon and they have to wait at the dining table.

They sat, excited to see their birthday cake. Petunia joined them soon, visibly upset, but they have to close their eyes soon, doing their best to ignore Mr Evans taking an insane amount of photos — to the point that Severus started to ask himself what he the hell he will do with all those pictures of them — when Mrs Evans started to sing "happy birthday". Only then, they opened their eyes to see her approaching with the chocolate cake covered with chocolate frosting, topped with 10 lightened green candles.

Mr Evans took another picture with the two of them beside the cake before Lily blowed the candle. They cheered before Daisy asked Severus if he wanted to blow them too, but Petunia snapped "it's not even his birthday, why would he do that?" before he could answered. "T'was my birthday 3 weeks ago, i still can blow some candles" he snapped back. "Would you like that, Severus?" asked Mr Evans after he gave a disapproving look to his elder daughter. "Yes, pleased" the young boy answered with a tiny smile.

Daisy lit the candle up once again, and Harry took a new picture of Severus blowing it, before they cut the cake.

When the plates where empty and their cups of tea refilled, Daisy announced it was time for the presents. Severus watched Lily opening three of them (a tales book, a new red dress and a frog plush) before Mr Evans handed him one.

His eyes widened, and his friend's father had to encourage him to take it. "It's not much", he declared "it's a bit old but i think you'll like it. Open it up!".

Ignoring Petunia's mocking glare, he tore the paper off to find an old book. "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea" he read. "Did you already read it", Daisy asked him. "No", he muttered, "but i will!". "Billiant! Look at me, you two, presents up!"

Mr Evans took another picture of Lily holding her new book and dress, Severus holding the toad and his book.

When Harry found the photo album 30 years later in a box hidden in a closet in his former parent's room.

Not because of the pictures, but because of the writings besides them.

"Severus' super jump" written by his mom when she was a child. "Chocolate war paint!" written again, above a "I won!" probably from a child Professeur Snape.

But what tore his heart was that one phrase, written on top of the picture where Severus was blowing the candles, by an much older hand, a writing he new well from a letter he found in Grimauld Place years ago.

"Severus' first birthday cake".

Everything felt logical now.

[lostysworld]

A healing touch – Kaz Brekker x reader

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 (final)

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Warning: OOC (so much for Kaz),fluff!!!!!!

Summary: Kaz is ready to give a second chance. It leads to finding his true place around you.

A/N: I've done this, guys!! I've done fluff!!! Hope you'll like it :D

Masterlist

For the whole next week you are helping your parents, who are trying to plan you soon-to-be birthday. No need to mention, you don't want to celebrate, when your head is busy with what happened between you and Kaz.

You love him, really love. And you aren't even angry at him, because everyone makes mistakes. But sitting like this, doing nothing and waiting for Saints know what is slowly killing you.

You met with Inej and Nina for several times to discuss it, but they couldn't advise nothing, but to wait.

Your mother, in her turn, decides to invite all your friends. Means, all the Crows will be at one place at the same time, and it's definitely going to be fun. Maybe you just need a little bit of distraction.

Your birthday is your father's day off, so your house is soaked with pastry smell from base to the roof from the very morning.

Since your dad is preparing everything at home, it is your turn to help your mother at her work. It is where Kaz's messenger finds you.

A small note shakes in your hands slightly, as you can't stop it.

"If you didn't change your mind, come"

You chuckle. In the end of the note you see a small ink scratch of a crow foot. Kaz always signs notes for you that way.

– Are you planning on standing like that and keeping him waiting?

Your mother's voice rings from your back.

– How do you-

– You have this face again, - she smiles shortly at you and nods towards the door. – Go, girl. I can manage this place by myself.

The wooden door squeaks and you come inside the office. Kaz is sitting behind his table as usual, but he instantly stands up, when you appear at his doorway.

– Hey, - your awkward smile lightens up his worried face a bit. – Something important for me?

You don't know why he called you here, but don't want to have a false hope.

– Yes...it is important, - the man comes up to a drawer and takes out a silver bracelet, the one that matches your pendant. – Happy birthday, Y/N.

He extends his arm to you for taking it, but you only come up to him and cover his gloved hand with yours.

– I will never change my mind, Kaz. Not for you.

Brekker sighs heavily and raises his glance on you, making you shiver. You have never had a thought of how it could be hard not to see him for a week.

– You will be in danger every single minute of your life, - his firm tone makes you nod. – And we will both live under constant pressure.

– Fine.

– Not to mention, that I can never give you a full life, and-, - you make him stop with your hand on his, giving the man a slight squeeze.

– What do you think full life is, Brekker?

He shakes his head, aware of the fact, that you will never agree with him on this point. A faint smile of yours reassures him a bit, and when you start speaking, he relaxes.

– Having you by my side, Kaz, is pretty enough for me. Frankly, - you slowly take off his gloves, one by one, laying them on the table. – It is the only thing I can dream of.

You are so close now, and want to kiss him so badly. Brekker's gaze drops to your lips and you understand his intention quite clearly.

With a shaking breath he moves to you, and you can only imagine how hard it is for the man. Yes, he advanced greatly with this, you can now even allow yourself an accidental brush across his hand, but a kiss is another thing.

– You don't have, if you don't want to, Kaz. I can wait.

He shakes his head reluctantly, and lays his bare hand on your shoulder.

– The problem is that I don't want you to wait, Y/N.

With that he slowly shortens the gap and brushes his lips across yours. It is merely a kiss, but it feels like heavens for you, as it is literally your biggest dream, that, you think, was impossible.

The grip on you shoulder tightens, and you can barely hold back a smile. It is a big move for Kaz and you as well, so you can't be nothing but proud of him. Even if he is a bit nervous.

Then he breaks the kiss after a dozen of seconds and touches your forehead with his, staying like this for some time.

– It is not stolen.

– What? - you leans back to meet his gaze. The man nods towards the bracelet on the table he gave you.

– The bracelet is not stolen. I bought him in-

You shut him up with another careful kiss, this time more passionate, not afraid for his reaction. You can swear, Brekker grins tensely in the kiss, as you can feel it with your skin.

Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, bought a birthday present for you, matching with his previous gift. What else could you dream about, really?

– I turned out, - Kaz tries to calm his breath. – Liking you a lot more that I originally planned.

– Is it anything, that you don't plan?

– You, kissing me for the second time. It wasn't planned.

You chuckle and instantly find his other hand to hold, but he halts. Seems, it's too much for him in one moment. Brekker gives you an apologetic smirk.

– You are doing great, - you smile to him, trying to reassure.

– I still need time to work it through.

– You are not alone, Kaz, - he keeps staring at you in a kind of awe. – We will work it through. I will help you.

Brekker grins at you and reaches for the bracelet on the table to lock on your wrist.

– Will you come to the dinner?

You suddenly remember about today's birthday party. Now, when everything is settled down between you two, you can think about planning again.

– I'm not sure-

– Everyone will be there, Kaz. And you know my mother will be happy to see you.

Brekker hesitates. Though you don't want to force him and rush the moment. But it would be lovely to see him along with your friends and family.

– You know, I don't suit family dinners, Y/N.

His half broken voice makes your heart ache for him. Why he can't understand this? He is worth everything. You know his fear of not being able to give you full live pretty well. Because partly it is your fear too. That your efforts will be not enough for both of you.

Not to worry Kaz even more, you lay your hand on his elbow.

– I will be waiting for you today's evening, love. But it all is up to you.

You turn to leave, not noticing him freeze from the nickname you give him. He surely doesn't let it just pass by. And when the door closes, he still stands in the middle of his office, trying to collect himself after your visit.

The noise in your house is pleasant with everyone chatting and telling stories. You look them over and smile. Every Crow finds its place here.

Nina is busy with your mother at the kitchen, dragging Matthias with her. Jasper is telling your father about shooting and Inej only smiles shyly, when your mum tells her to make herself comfortable.

Everyone is on the place. Everyone except Kaz. He still doesn't show up, and your hope is slowly getting lost in a cword laughing.

You know it is not his intention to upset you, Brekker just doesn't like big companies and can't find a proper place for himself.

And when the sudden knock on the door rings, you instantly rush to open it. The wide smile appears on your lips as you see Kaz, who's grinning shyly at you.

– You came! - you want to hug him, but refuse just in time.

– Happy birthday again.

You smirk and nod towards the room.

– Won't you come in? - that hope in your glance is so visible, that you don't even need to beg the man. – The party isn't complete without you, Kaz.

He chuckles, coming closer to you, but shakes his head reluctantly.

– It's too crowded for me.

– It's not a crowd, Brekker. They are your friends too, - seeing that you almost win, you continue to force him. – Come on, Kaz, join us. My mother adores you.

– Yes, that's exactly what I'm afraid of, - he surely notices another woman's steps towards the door, and steps back to hide in the shadows, but your mum is not that naive.

– No, no, Mr. Brekker. You will not fool me like this, - you put your lips in a thin line to hold back a laughter. This woman knows how to get under someone's skin. – We saved a seat for you. So, hurry up.

With that she comes back to the kitchen.

– You heard her, Kaz. You have no choice now.

The man walks out of the darkness with that one-sided grin, the one you love the most. He comes in to let you close the door.

Everything goes well, you mother is hovering around Kaz like a mother hen, that makes you smile even more than before. It isn't really a birthday party, but a family dinner just with more members.

– So, you, Mr. Brekker, are up to illegal things here in Ketterdam, am I right?

The sudden question from your father makes everyone shut up, even Jasper. Little do they know, he isn't a strict man. He asks it just out of interest, and they shouldn't be nervous like this.

Kaz tenses and you don't get to somehow show him, that it's alright, when your mother comes back from the kitchen with her famous apple pie.

– Do not scare our guests, Y/F/N. Let them enjoy the dinner.

You suppress a smile to your mum, who stands next to Brekker, knowing this question is for him. Seems, she likes him most of all and even ready to protect from your father's curiosity.

Your father starts cutting the pie.

– I don't care what he is doing, until he's a gentleman. Manners make the man.

Kaz casts a glance to you across the table, and you just nod to show, everything is okay. He's a perfect gentleman, it's for you to know for sure.

When the dinner is over and the Crows go to the Slat, Kaz stays for a little, letting them to leave you two alone.

It's long past midnight, when you walk him to the entrance door.

– Thank you, Kaz, - he comes out and turns to you. – Your presence means a lot to me. And your gift too. Thank you.

He nods, but isn't going to leave. You close the door behind you and take his gloved hand to lead him to the nearest bench. The day was amazing, and you are not ready to let him go yet.

The skies are glowing with millions of stars tonight, and your glance is stick to it. You don't notice how Kaz is looking at you.

– Thank you for the invitation then. I have never had a family like yours to be around.

Your eyes meet his and these sad sparkles in his voice makes you thinking of something.

– Well, you have now. A very big one, actually.

Kaz glances at you, making goosebumps run down your forearms. How can a single glance give you such reaction?

You know, that he's hard to persuade, but you really want him to know, that he has a safe place to go to.

Brekker doesn't respond and when he switches his gaze above his head to look at the starts, you notice his eyes are a bit watered.

You think about how much he suffered, and how you can help him to make peace with his past from now. You, your friends and your family will be always here for the man.

The sudden thought of his last improvement comes to your mind.

– Kaz, - you call his name, but he doesn't move. – Your brother would be so proud of you.

He immediately turns to your, eyes are searching for something on your face. But you are serious as never before. Brekker's trauma is a constant reminder of Jordie, but he can't remember his family like that. There should be something good in it.

His glance slips to your lips, and for a couple of moments he can't take his eyes off. He takes one shaking breath, overwhelmed by unspoken words and emotions.

– May I.

You know that this day is the hardest for the man, and you're pretty aware of his boundaries, but just can't let yourself stop him.

You nod and he takes one of his gloves off, slowly caressing your cheek. When he is about to lean forward, you stop him in an inch from his lips with a whisper.

– You are the strongest person I know, Kaz Brekker.

Your heart sinks down, when his lips finally touch yours in a slow tender kiss.

You want to embrace the man, but try to keep your hands out with all your strength. With every second passing, you feel Kaz relaxes, and it brings smile to your lips.

He brakes the kiss and furrows.

– What? - Brekker's face almost makes you grin more. You shake your head.

– Nothing. Just love you.

Actually you can do it all night long, telling him the truth and watching him falling in a sort of shock. And his reaction only encourage you to go on every time.

The man shakes his head in disbelief and gives up a smile, the kind you didn't see before.

– It's...I'm a fool, when it comes to revealing feelings, Y/N, - you shake his world completely, but Kaz starts getting used to it. – But I want to tell so much.

– I will not force you into anything against your will.

He shakes his head and moves closer. You are so warm and radiant, he just can't stay cold and collected with you around, doesn't want to anymore. Of course, for everyone else he is still the same Kaz Brekker, but not for you.

– I just want you to be patient at this point, Y/N.

– I've been knowing you, Kaz, for two years, - your light chuckle touches his heart. – Patience and I are long friends.

– So? - he raises his brow to you.

– So, I can live with that, Kaz Brekker. For as long as you will have me.

This smile of his can melt you to the ground and you smile to him back, turning your gaze to the skies again.

After a second you feel his gloved hand covers your fingers, and grin.

This day is your pure bliss, and you two will endure everything else together.

So, this is the end of it! Thank all of you for likes and comments, I hope you really enjoy it ❤

Actually, I have an idea of writing The darkling x reader imagine. Maybe, you'll be interested :D

[wroteonedad]

The 20's Made Me Regress

As a kid, I used to love nothing more than getting up at 7:30 in the morning and watching episodes of Hannah Montana while I cuddled up with my teddy bear and hoped that today might be the day that mum and dad take me out for a Happy Meal. I loved those blackcurrant and apple Fruit Shoots. Now I am 22 and I still like to get up, watch Hannah Montana reruns and choose which stuffed toy I want under my arm today. I feel so much nostalgia and so much comfort for things I had as a child that I used to train myself to get rid of. 'I won't sleep with my teddies from the day of my 13th birthday' I would say to myself and then I would fail, feeling chilly at night and grabbing the first handful of stuffed bears I could find.

I would spend endless hours, playing the Sims 2 on my DS, a story which followed a girl whose car breaks down in a sleepy town and they walk into the hotel and suddenly they're running a few errands for the place and become a manager all in the same day. I always used to think that whole narrative was so cool, like a dream. I would go to my grandmas house and play Sims 1 on the PC. There was one pre-made household who had lots of money and I once converted their room into an arcade and deleted the front door before they would go to bed every night, just so they wouldn't get robbed.

My room is covered in a variation of novelty fairy lights, lobsters, pumpkins, you name it, it's there and I even bought myself a lava lamp because my grandma had one in the spare room when I was a kid and I used to sit in the cold room at 6am, watching the orange lava flow up and down. I could sit for hours and watch it. I would see the sticker that says to not touch it and I would still reach my hand out, acting surprised when my finger was burned, red raw from the heat of the wax.

I would persuade my family to buy every issue of Girl Talk, flicking through every one of its bright pink pages and reading all the celebrity gossip which always revolved around Cheryl Cole and Selena Gomez. Not at the same time of course.

Maybe it was Covid. Maybe that was the major event that took place that made me regress the way I did. A time in which we were all stuck at home trying to find means to an end every day for over a year. I still remember spending Christmas alone in 2020 vividly. I hate nut roast. That Christmas made me realise how much I hate them. Honestly. The texture is off. I think there was something about being indoors alone for such a long period of time that made me come to terms with how much one needs to have comfort. Human touch and interaction are two important things to have in life, but what happens when you have no access to that? I lived in a house where I could easily go a week without even saying hello to my own housemates. The most we ever really said to each other was 'who's turn is it to get toilet paper?'. It was sad. I was sad. And when they all got to go home for Christmas and I didn't, I was devastated. You can live in a home with a group of people who you don't like and who you don't speak to, but when they all leave and go to their homes, the silence becomes so loud. I think that was the key point where I found the bear I'd had since I was a child and I took it out and held it close again. I haven't really let go since.

I got back into playing games. I can't name one person who didn't end up at least buying a Switch during lockdown. And sure, I stopped playing my Switch when rules were lifted and then using it again every time there was a lockdown. But now, I find that there is no comfort like playing a Switch. I pick up Animal Crossing maybe once a month, I feel bad, but I love to check up. I've gotten into playing Kirby and Mario and Breath of the Wild. These games are making me feel like I am living my childhood again. I love the comfort of the cosy games, the games which also make me go Kyle mode every now and again. I love feeling warm with my piles of toys and extra blanket layers and I've found joy in kitsch lighting again. I think a lot of us are in the same boat. The historic events from this decade have been so surreal that it would feel more strange to not regress, at least in some way. It's made me feel humble and it's taught me to not feel so embarrassed about picking up things again now that I used to love and finding a new found love for it all over again. I now understand why my nanna would lecture me when I told her as a child that I couldn't wait to be an adult because I can do whatever I want whenever I want.

I wish I could tell 8 year old me that paying taxes and working a full time job is not fun and that I should just appreciate the moment as it happens.

[be-good-be-safe-be-kind]

just a memory

deep breathing time first 'cause this one's gonna be rough. even if something is 'just' a memory, it's still something that happened and it's not great. if you say that something is 'just' a memory, you can justify it as being irrelevant to the present and harmless and something that shouldn't be able to affect you. easier in theory than in practice, but still tricky.

it's kinda the same logic marc uses when he's sitting on the floor, chanting over and over again that the woman behind the door isn't his mom. if she's not his mother, then all the words and beatings for being a bad son don't matter and won't hurt as much, 'cause he's not her son.

it's kinda the same logic steven uses when he's saying his mum's not dead. she's not dead, 'cause he calls her every day, and he calls her every day 'cause he loves her even though she maybe doesn't love him.

it's kinda the same logic doctor harrow tries to use against marc, when he says harrow's not really a doctor. harrow's response, that he feels real and like a real doctor, but if they want to play by marc's rules, fine. sense or nonsense, marc, 'cause i can tell you i took the bus here but you're talking about talking animals. sense or nonsense, marc, 'cause your memory of me shooting you can't be real if i'm a doctor, and i am. sense or nonsense, doc, 'cause marc's face is covered in bruises and blood and even though he pulls his hair and slaps his face, he couldn't have caused that much damage. not if the orderlies can restrain him within seconds of harrow pushing the silent alarm.

"before you got upset, you were talking to me about a boy. do you remember that boy?" doctor harrow asks about the boy, 'cause he can't ask if marc remembers the conversation, 'cause it maybe didn't happen. harrows asks about a boy 'cause if he's a psych doctor and he wants to help his adult patient, he's gonna have to learn more about his childhood. 

but marc wouldn't talk about it, not willingly, not to harrow. he'd rather cut his own eyes out and kill himself, if he weren't already dead.

(side note but who the hell is crawley in the series, outside of marc mentioning him playing bingo in the hospital 'cause crawley's awesome and yay for marc having friends)

"this boat contains all of a life's memories. now i don't know what you two guys have been hiding, but my advice, get in there and show each other the truth." taweret's wording here, besides for her relative calmness about the one dead guy being maybe two dead guys, is quite interesting. a singular life's memories, shared by these two guys - these two guys, 'cause taweret's smart and can probably sense there's more. after all, the scales don't balance with these two, each with their own memories; if there's a third or more, with their own memories for a comprehensive view, there might be balance without going through all the doors. (of course that would also cause a lot of discomfort and confusion but at least they'd be closer to not being dead)

marc recounting all of the lives he took, telling steven that he wished he'd failed and be killed instead, is kinda a big deal that they don't have time to get into 'cause then steven notices the scales and roro. roro, who can move around in the memories, unlike the bodies at the tables. which is interesting for its own reasons, 'cause if the still bodies mean people that marc's killed then roro moving means marc didn't kill him. and can also mean that there might be a small part of him in the system, and not just as a part of marc's memories of him. 

steven stumbling on the birthday memories is like. they're marc's birthday memories, times which are meant to be happy, worry-free times, times which usually would have been steven's. but there are no friends to share cake with, and his parents aren't able to be in the same room with each other, and elias really shouldn't have left his son alone with wendy.

"why are you remembering her like that? that's not what she was like" and "harrow said you were a mercenary, that you killed hostages. wouldn't put it past you" probably hurt marc as much as chasing steven through the memories. steven's seeing it all for the first time but marc's the one who lived and relives it, beating himself up over what he's done, knowing that there's things he should have done better and things he shouldn't have done at all. and then steven's there to hammer that point into his head and why can't marc just die? why does he have to go through the doors, balance the souls, return to the world?

'cause one of the things he should have done better is keep layla's dad safe, and layla's still alive and stuck with harrow and someone's gotta get khonshu out of his tomb and be the one to counter ammit. that someone's gotta be marc, or all of this is for nothing. "what a waste," as khonshu puts it. 

"eradicate only the worst, those who deserve it."

and in marc's mind, he's part of the worst, part of those deserving of death.

"do you want death, or do you want life?"

"i don't know."

his interaction, and the duat, being the opposite of lemire's first issue while incorporating other aspects is really cool.

(also the use of the white space is amazing)

anyway back to the ramble of memories and living and reliving.

one of the problems with memories and storing them and retrieving and reliving them is that it's all gonna be mixed up. it's never gonna be the same as the first time the thing happened, or the first time you remembered it, and having others insist on it being certain ways absolutely doesn't help either.

khonshu is taking advantage of marc, as steven points out, but he's also allowing marc to keep being what he's always been, or what he's always seen himself as and internalized since he was a kid - a killer. marc killed his brother, he killed countless of people while he was in the military and with bushman, he killed those guys in egypt, and it's all steven wants to talk about and remind him of and he can't hear it again today, he can't.

it's why he doesn't want steven to go back to the bedroom in chicago, to hear wendy's words, why he'd rather just talk with steven, no matter how painful it is. marc talking about it gives him a measure of control and accountability; steven seeing it would only hurt both of them. that's 'just' a memory; it's contained to a certain time, and it's a visual, yeah, but it's not representative of how what marc felt during those beatings. it's not representative of steven's view of their mom.

"i'm just begging you, don't make us go there again. it's not worth it."

and of course steven goes back on the guilt trip train tracks. "if all those people die, if layla dies, that's on your head. it'll be all your fault."

marc's meltdown seems to be also a sort of somatic flashback. like he's been in this scenario before and responded like this; he's kinda in a 'what time is it where am i ' place which is uhh not fun. it's another bit of 'just' a memory which makes the phrase annoying. yeah okay maybe it's a memory but also it's happening right now. it's happening again right now but it's not supposed to, it's supposed to stay in the past, the reaction now is supposed to be calmer, 'cause there's distance between then and now but there isn't, not really.

"do you think you created steven to hide from all the awful things you feel you've done in your life, or do you think steven created marc to punish the world for what your mother did to you? do you know? can you remember?"

damn, that's a loaded question, and the way it's phrased suggests that harrow doesn't know about when the system started. what are 'all' the terrible things marc could have done in his life as a kid, and how could marc have punished the world from such a young age either? this harrow, this doctor, seems to know enough about dissociative identities to know that childhood trauma plays a role, but not enough to know that parts can act without other parts having knowledge of their actions (which is another point to the 'harrow is an introjected construct of some sort' idea, repeating back things that marc and/or steven may have read about and/or heard in actual hospitals)

but back to the memory aspect. "can you remember?"

it's not about recall, a question of if marc can remember. it's a matter of does he want to go through it again, and does he want steven to see it. and of course the answer is no. it's a chicken and egg sorta thing, really, who was where first. they're snakes eating their own tails, running in circles and going nowhere, but marc's tired and dying so who cares. might as well let steven see the room.

"this is my room. i remember some things, but i don't remember this."

"It's just a memory..."

[nicoliharu]

Happy birthday Agatha!!!💕

Option: Happy birthday.

Agatha: Thanks so much...Oh heavens i'm still so surprised >w<

Agatha: To be honest didn't expect a party like this, i still wonder how they found day of my birthday.

Agatha: Although was able to jot down everyone's birthday, i like to make presents.

Agatha: I remember in school i liked to write little notes on bottles and give them to my classmates, it was fun.

Option: Did you have a good relationship with your classmates at old high school? You miss them?

Agatha: Ah yes i miss them, but each one followed a different path and naturally we separated from each other imean, that's normal.

Agatha: I enjoyed playing baseball with a bunch of persistent guys, they said '' you're weak '' but i won every high school baseball and runne championship...They were very stubborn and proud, maybe because i spent so much time with them, it's easy spending time here in NRC, i can handle so many guys without be afraid. Well i don't get intimidated easy!!! UWU

Option: And your family?

Agatha: Ahh...I miss my parents so much, i spent a short time with my father, he was a surgeon but unfortunately he died due to an accident when i was younger...i remember too when i was a child we took a lot of milkshakes together...it was good to see them both smiling.

Agatha: My mother was a teacher, she was amazing and strong... I have many good memories with her, if i could go back in time, i would like to live again the same way with her... I lost her to an illness but despite everything as she taught me, the two will always be with me.

Agatha: You needed to taste her cupcakes!!! IT’S SO GOOD <3

Option: Oh my feelings.

Agatha: Don't worry this happened 5 years ago, i'm fine now!

Option: You have any favorite food?

Agatha: YUP! Milkshakes and cupcakes, remind me my parents.

Agatha: One day, i asked Trey to help me make the same cupcakes my mom was make. And as soon as we finished and i could taste them, i cried with hapinnes to taste my mum's cupcakes, but was a mess because they thought Trey had upset  me because they saw me crying, but thanks to Grim everything was cleared up.

Agatha: Sorry again Trey-san XD

Part 2

Option: What's more important to you?

Agatha: Fellowship. Even though we must be independent deep down we must not share things alone.

Agatha: Be it feelings or situations, we shouldn't mainly carry heavy burdens alone. Even happy times with the right company can be even better, whether with friends or a partner.

Agatha: I like spending time with Jack exercising, with Riddle at the club or Bucchi!

Option: I hear you spend a lot of time with Ruggie, how do you feel about him?

Agatha: Hummm...Many good feelings...I mean! This conversation will stay between us right? O////O 

Agatha: When met him i didn't like him for some reasons, but we soon worked together at Mostro Lounge and became good friends.

Agatha: So we shared a lot of things and spent more time together... We declared ourselves to each other and... and....>///<

Agatha: Y-you know!!! But he's a hardworking, smart, nimble and kind guy, I really admire him.

Agatha: I would love to be skilled like him, i can't understand why he ''complains'' about not having muscles or being tall like the other Savanaclaw students, he's amazing and doesn't understand clearly.

Agatha: He taught me a lot of things and animal language too, i'm delighted to be able to talk to some birds sometimes.

Agatha: I usually help him with some chores, but i always end up getting stressed with Leona, he never lets Bucchi rest but after a while i could understand the situation better.

Agatha: I admit I love watching the sunset with him in Savanaclaw...Oh please I've already told you enough U///U

Option: Oh right, you really want to go home?

Agatha: To be honest no, i want to be with Grim and the friends I was able to make here.

Agatha: If it's possible, i want to stay, i can start over and learn many things... Not to mention that there's someone i don't want to let go...hmmm YOU KNOW WHO DON'T ASK ME AGAIN!!!

Option: Oh thanks for giving us the scoop. Again, happy birthday.

Agatha: Hihi <3

Vil: Agatha come, you need to touch up your makeup!

Agatha: Yup!