#happy birthday imp

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(happy happy birthday to my favorite person on this hellsite @impishtubist thank you for hopping into my DM's one day and never leaving. you are my brain twin and chaos twin and there is no other person i love screaming about HC's with more than you. have the very best day <3

p.s. i know i asked you for a list of prompts, but i...ignored all of them (true to the brand) and decided to write this one instead. inspired by our many unhinged conversations and my love for butts. xoxo).

--

"It's perfectly--"

"No."

"--natural, Harry. You're just growing and--"

"No." Harry repeated, stabbing a piece of broccoli on his plate with emphasis, still not bothering to look up at Sirius, who was talking to him from across the dinner table.

"Okay, I can see you don't want to talk about this and--"

"Oh really? You should consider changing careers, becoming a private investigator because, Merlin's Beard, I don't know how you figured out that I don't want to talk about this. Couldn't have been the past 800 no's I've said." Harry had dropped his fork, glaring at Sirius.

Remus snorted into his water, droplets dripping down the sides of the glass and onto his shirt. Sirius rolled his eyes and wordlessly handed Remus a napkin while trying to keep his own neutral expression.

"Becoming an animaigus isn't easy," Sirius tried one more time, only for Harry to throw his hands up into the air dramatically and slouch back into his chair.

"Obviously it's not bloody easy."

"It's perfectly normal to run into...magical...er, help me out here, Remus..."

"Snafu's," Remus offered, having wiped the water from his mouth. Unlike Sirius, Remus was not bothering to hide his amusement, consistently clearing his throat to drown out periodic chuckles throughout dinner, eyes watering with unspent laughter, face flushed.

"Bloody snafu..." muttered Harry, "You had to wash my arse!"

"I've done it before! It's nothing I haven't seen," Sirius said, trying to comfort a teenager who was mortified that his godfather was forced into the position of having to give Harry a bath. Harry had gotten the hang of transforming into his animal form--a large Maine Coon-- and had spent the afternoon traipsing about the backyard of Number 12 with Sirius. Transforming back...was a different story. Harry had gotten "stuck" before but had never gotten stuck after getting himself covered in mud.

"Yeah, when I was a baby!"

"And when you were 12, remember that nasty bit of poison oak you got when you dropped your pants while camping and we had to rub ointment because you couldn't reach and-"

"You are not helping, Moony."

"It wasn't the first time I had washed cat butt, and it won't be the last," Sirius said finally. "I promise next time you get stuck and you're muddy, I'll just leave you outside in the cold and rain to suffer. Sound good, babe?"

"You couldn't have just let me into the house one time..." grumbled Harry sitting up, to resume eating, the scowl on his face still present. "Lord Black and his Pristine House..."

Remus coughed again before grinning, "Harry, did I ever tell you about the time I had to wash your Dad's and Sirius's arse?"

[starays13]

@ayyy-imma-ninja

Meg! You! Happy Birthday you amazing person! 🫵

I wanted to do something for ya since I knew today was coming up, so I decided on the thing I knew I could do and get done in time, plus I wanted an excuse to draw a bunch of your AU boys.

As both a birthday present and as a general gift because you’re genuinely one of the nicest people I know in this entire fandom and you deserve it, have an art dump of the fairy boys and the imp twins, plus a little doodle of Flowerboi I threw in there because I noticed he was your favorite of the brainrot Doritos.

Surprise!

Oh and this has been planned for weeks :3

[impishtubist]

hello @soloorganaas this is very rough and very unedited but I was seized by the need to cause some anti-R/T chaos and what better day to do that than on your birthday <3 here’s an OOTP missing-scene ficlet for you.

----

“They’d make a cute couple, wouldn’t they?”

Sirius follows Molly’s gaze, but he only sees Remus and Tonks sitting together by the fire, heads bent over a book.

“Who?”

“Remus and Tonks!” she whispers. “Don’t you think so?”

Sirius laughs, but Molly doesn’t. “Wait, really? You can’t be serious.”

She frowns at him. “There’s no need to sound so incredulous. There are many people out there who’d be lucky to have him as a partner! Besides, he needs someone to look after him, the poor dear. He’s your best friend. You should be encouraging this!”

“Encouraging this,” Sirius repeats, bemused. “Right. Sure thing, Molly. I’ll just go…do some encouraging.” 

***

The next morning, Sirius wakes Remus up with breakfast in bed. 

“What’s all this?” Remus asks groggily, staring at the three trays that are sitting on the bed, all of them overflowing with food.

“Apparently, you’re not being looked after properly,” Sirius says darkly.

“Did Molly tell you that?” Remus asks, his expression softening. He draws Sirius into a gentle kiss. “You look after me just fine, love.” 

Sirius grunts, but he’s heartened slightly when Remus picks up a plate of eggs and digs into them. 

“Er…Moony, have you noticed anything going on with Tonks lately?” he asks.

“Tonks? No,” Remus says, his brows knitting together in confusion.

“You don’t think she’s acting unusual or anything?”

“I don’t think so, but I don’t spend all that much time with her. Something wrong?”

Remus doesn’t know, then. He hasn’t caught on that Tonks has been flirting with him. Sirius could tell him…or he could wait and see how this plays out.

“Nope,” he says, plucking a grape from a bowl of fruit and popping it into his mouth. “Nothing at all.” 

***

Sirius enters the kitchen one morning to find Remus leaning a hip against the countertop, deep in conversation with Tonks, who is standing far closer to him than is necessary given the otherwise-empty room.

“Listen, Remus, I--” Tonks breaks off as soon as she notices Sirius. 

“Morning,” Sirius says cheerfully, biting back a smile. “You two look cozy.”

“We are,” Tonks says, crossing her arms, “and we’re having an important conversation--”

“Oh, don’t let me interrupt you. Pretend I’m not here.” Sirius busies himself with the kettle. “Rem, you want your usual?”

“Afraid not. I’m on guard duty.” Remus checks his watch. “In fact, I should be off. I’ll see you later tonight.”

“I’ll be here,” Sirius says dryly.

As soon as the door swings shut behind Remus, Tonks rounds on him.

“Cockblocked by my own cousin!” Tonks hisses, pinching his arm. “Can’t you read the room?”

Sirius lifts an eyebrow at her, nonplussed. “Sorry, were you about to shag Remus in the kitchen at--” he checks his watch “--nine in the morning?”

Tonks blushes. “No, but he was about to kiss me! I know it! And now he’s on guard duty for the rest of the day, and I’ve got the night shift later.” 

“Tough break,” Sirius says. “Better luck next time, Tonks.” 

***

Dumbledore, in a rare display of magnanimity, allows Harry to spend the holidays at Grimmauld. Harry’s friends decide they want to come with him, too, and so the house is once again overrun with Weasleys. Sirius is grateful for the company, he is, and there’s enough going on that he mostly manages to avoid Molly.

The festivities start well before the twenty-fifth. The kids arrive on the fourth night of Hanukkah, and Sirius is delighted to finally be able to share this part of himself with his godson. He recites the prayers while Remus shows Harry how to light the candles, and then they open presents, and after that Harry has a million questions that Sirius is only too happy to answer. 

Remus and Sirius bought Harry a joint present for Christmas, too. It’s not their holiday, but it was James and Lily’s, and they want to keep that alive for him. Harry greets them with a hug when they come downstairs on Christmas morning and starts gushing about his new defense books, and Sirius has to blink back tears. 

The party gets underway soon after that. Sirius levitates his gramophone downstairs and puts Remus in charge of music, and then he starts mixing drinks while Molly brings out tray after tray of food. The kids break out some games, and various members of the Order trickle in throughout the day. 

“Ugh, Sirius!” Harry complains the third time he’s caught under a sprig of rogue mistletoe. The first time had been with George, which had made Harry blush furiously, and the second time had been Molly, who had kissed him on the cheek. “This is embarrassing!”

Sirius gives him a loud, smacking kiss on the forehead, much to Harry’s chagrin. The mistletoe releases them and floats off to find a new set of victims. “Sorry, sprog. I’m not the one who charmed it.” 

“Can’t you do anything about it?”

“I can try,” Bill volunteers, but Molly quickly intervenes.

“No, no, leave it,” she says, and Sirius narrows his eyes at her. “It’s all in good fun.” 

“You…want us to leave up the mistletoe that Fred and George enchanted to be a pain in everyone’s arse?” Sirius asks incredulously. “You hate their pranks, Molly!”

“Not this one,” Molly hisses at him, casting a significant look over at Remus. Tonks has drifted over to him and is flipping through some of the albums he’s brought down, asking him about the various bands. 

Sirius turns away so she doesn’t see him roll his eyes.

It’s maybe half an hour later when it finally happens--the sprig of mistletoe traps both Remus and Tonks underneath it. Tonks, blushing furiously, tilts her head up for a kiss. Remus takes her hand instead and presses a kiss to the back of it, and the mistletoe releases them.

Sirius hopes that would be the end of it, but somehow Tonks only gets more starry-eyed. 

“He’s such a gentleman,” she says quietly to Sirius later as he mixes her another drink. 

“He certainly is,” Sirius agrees. It takes a lot for Remus to drop that gentlemanly demeanor, and usually doesn’t happen until Sirius is balls-deep in him. 

Kingsley Shacklebolt comes up to Sirius’s makeshift bar a few minutes later, and that’s when Sirius gets an idea.

“Find an excuse to get caught with me under that mistletoe,” Sirius murmurs in his ear as he passes over the drink, “and I’ll make it worth your while.” 

“Alright,” Kingsley says easily. Good man, Kingsley. Knows when to ask questions, and when to leave well enough alone.

Sirius has endured watching Tonks touch Remus’s shoulder, arm, or wrist no less than fifteen times when the mistletoe appears over his head again, and Kingsley appears at his side. Sirius cups the other man’s face and gives him a thorough snog. Kingsley’s big hands rest on his waist, and he gives as good as he gets, leaving Sirius more than a little breathless. 

The mistletoe zooms off, and Kingsley draws back.

“Did it help?” he murmurs. Sirius spots Remus over Kingsley’s shoulder, his expression stormy.

“We’re about to find out,” he murmurs back. 

“Excuse me,” Remus says, inserting himself between Kingsley and Sirius. “I need to have a word with Sirius.”

“Oh?” Sirius says. “A word about what, Remus?”

Remus kisses him. For a man allergic to public displays of affection, he certainly doesn’t seem to mind it right now, kissing Sirius until Sirius is dizzy with it.

“Er, Remus,” Tonks says. “The mistletoe is gone. You can stop kissing him now.” 

Remus breaks away from Sirius and raises an eyebrow at her. “I’ll kiss my boyfriend as often as I like, thanks.” 

Tonks’s mouth drops open. 

“Boyfriend?” she squeaks.

“Is that a surprise?”

“Yes, it is!” Tonks looks furious now. “I can’t believe you!” 

Remus looks questioningly at Sirius, who snorts. 

“You’re an oblivious idiot,” he says, lacing their fingers together. “But you’re my oblivious idiot.”

[cosmica-galaxy]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO @smalltimidbean !!

Owner of the @ask-the-totally-real-peppino blog I adore so much! I hope you have a wonderful birthday filled with fun, partying, and joy!

[fucksurass]

Today is supposed to be busy so I had to put something together(pull something out of my ass) for tweekys birthday

I have no idea when his birthday is.

The 16th? 17th? 18???

Fuck it we ball

HAPPY BIRTHWEEK, TWERK

Ft. @azrielthedrawer and my au Tweeks. We celebrate them too

[prince-of-red-lions]

oh my gosh ANOTHER BIRTHDAY⁉️⁉️⁉️HRHFHDSJWJAJ

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWILIGHT PRINCESS‼️‼️‼️‼️💖💖💖💖

I’m actually super proud on how this came out. :) I hope ya’ll like it too!

“it’s just gonna be a quick doodle.” -me, 5 hours ago

[local-meme-lord]

Happy Birthday to Mickey Mouse and technically Minnie too!

Let's hop no villains try to ruin it this year!

[lynxindisguise]

What is Crowley doing for Remus's birthday?

Oh hi Imp, I’m so glad you asked!

So, much to Sirius and Aziraphale’s annoyance, Crowley and Remus are going out to lunch (nowhere too fancy, but they have amazingly decadent chocolate cake). Crowley gifts Remus a funny looking little plant that he just couldn’t bear to be mean to, and they have a delightful little chat before going home to get railed by their husbands.

[kenxboi]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAZE!!! 

you have a special place in my heart! and i love you so much!! <3 <3 <3 @hazethestrange

[lianatheowl]

MY LITTLE SISTER IS 18 TODAY!!!

I'm so proud!🥹💖🌺

I LOVE HER SOOO MUCH!!!

So I drew this^³^ Qnd desided to share it with y'all

It is us throught years🥹

[theresthesnitch]

Happy Birthday @impishtubist!!!

For Imp's birthday, I said I'd finish a fic that I promised her months ago. Unsurprisingly, life happened and I didn't finish it. I told her that I didn't want to start posting *another* WIP that wasn't finished, but I did give her a link to a google doc with the first four chapters of a long Wofstar raising Harry after POA fic. (About 11k worth of fic)

I did want to go ahead and share some of that fic here, so below is a snippet. I've shared a few before, so I'm going to start tagging it with the title, "All the Same."

Anyway, enjoy the small piece of Imp's birthday half-fic.

***

(they're discussing coming of age parties held for wix as they turn 17)

Harry shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know who would invite me to one." 

Sirius studied him thoughtfully. "I'm sure you've got lots of friends who would love to have you there." 

"You definitely do, Harry." Remus places a hand on his arm. "I know I was only your professor, but you were very well-liked." 

"Oh, I'm sure I'll get invitations. I just don't know how many will be inviting me, and how many will be inviting The Boy Who Lived." He shrugged, brushing through the pictures on the table with the tips of his fingers. "I don't really want to go just to be someone's party favor." 

Sirius inhaled sharply. “I’m sure that’s not why you’d get invites.”

Harry shrugged again, not making eye contact. “It is. A lot of people only want The Boy Who Lived.” 

Sirius wasn’t sure what to say. He looked at Remus who regarded Harry carefully. “I’m sure that’s very frustrating, Haz, but I think you have more friends than you realize. I taught your classmates and friends, and there are many people who love you for exactly you, not for the curse you avoided as a child.” 

Harry looked back at Remus, and Sirius managed to register the weight of this reality in his eyes. Sirius would do anything to take this pain away. "How do I know the difference?" 

"I think you have to learn to trust your instincts," Sirius said. 

"He's right." Remus smiled at Sirius, and Sirius’s heart fluttered. “You’ve got great instincts. I think if you trust yourself a little more, you’ll find that you can already tell when people are being genuine with you.” 

“What if I get it wrong?” Harry twisted the front of his shirt around his fingers, twisting the fabric until it formed a small knot around his finger, then letting go. The gesture took Sirius off guard–so similar to one that James always did when the conversation got serious. 

“Then you get it wrong.” Harry’s eyes shot to Sirius as he answered. “Sometimes, we get things wrong, and that’s okay too. You learn from that, and you do better next time.” 

Harry chewed on the corner of his lip, like he wasn’t sure. “I guess.” 

“Either way, we’ll be here for you, Remus and I.” Sirius glanced at Remus, who nodded at him encouragingly. “Whatever you need, we’ll be here.” 

Harry didn’t say anything, but from the way he looked between them, Sirius could tell that he thought there were strings attached. Like they’d be there until Harry did something that made them leave.

[impishtubist]

happy birthday, krethes <3

Happy birthday @krethes , we are so lucky to have you in this fandom and I am lucky to have you as a friend!

----

“Please don’t be naked,” James mutters under his breath as he pounds on the door. “Please don’t be naked, please--”

The door swings open. His brand-new son-in-law is not naked, thank Merlin and Morgana, but he is bare-chested under his dressing gown, and his neck and collarbone are littered with love bites. James flushes immediately and fixes his eyes firmly on Draco’s face. 

“What,” Draco says in a low, dangerous voice, “could you possibly want right now?”

“Er, we broke the baby.” 

“You what.” 

“Broke the baby,” James repeats helpfully.

“Draco?” Harry comes into view, tugging on a shirt. His hair is mussed far worse than usual and his face is flushed and James wants to die. “Who--Dad? What are you doing here?”

“Hey, son,” James says weakly. “Um, your mother and I might have broken Jay.” 

“I told you we should have left him with my mother,” Draco mutters under his breath while Harry gapes at James. 

“What do you mean, you broke him? Is he hurt?”

“No!” James says quickly. “No, definitely not hurt, and not sick either. Just…won’t stop crying.” 

Draco looks like he wants to murder James on the spot. Harry drags a hand down his face.

“Dad, please don’t tell me you crashed our honeymoon because your grandson is fussy! Why didn’t you call Padfoot?”

James had tried, but the Floo had spat him out when he’d stepped into the flames and called out the name of Sirius and Remus’s cottage, along with a note in Sirius’s handwriting that said he would be eating his husband’s arse out for the next three days and they weren’t to be disturbed, not even if the world was ending, thanks very much. 

Fortunately, Draco and Harry hadn’t thought to put similar protections on the private chateau they’d rented in the Alps for their honeymoon. Or, as Sirius kept calling it, much to James’s dismay, their sex holiday. 

“Um, Padfoot was indisposed.” 

“What about Mum?” Harry asks, a little desperately. James tries to sympathize--he would have probably contemplated murder himself if Fleamont had pulled him and Lily out of bed during their honeymoon--but James Sirius has been screaming for the better part of a day and his nerves are shot. 

“She can’t get him to stop, either! It’s been hours, Harry, I’m begging you--”

“Where is Mr. Snuffles?” Draco interrupts.

“W-what?” James blinks at him. 

Draco rolls his eyes. “Mr. Snuffles. The black dog toy that my imbecile of a cousin gave Jamie, which he now refuses to be without for even a moment. I know I packed it in his bag. Find it.” 

“I really think you should--” 

“James.” Draco takes a step forward. “You will go home, right now, and you will find our son’s favorite toy. You will calm him down, and if that task is beyond you, then you will take him to my mother’s. You will not, under any circumstances, interrupt us for the rest of the week, not unless Jamie is hurt or ill. Do you know why?”

“Er--”

“Because this chateau has forty rooms, and I fully intend to have your son fuck me in every single one, and on every piece of furniture, before the week is out. Is that understood?” 

James can only gape at him. Draco gives him a chilly smile.

“Excellent. Harry, get rid of your father so we can pick up where we left off.”

[shari-ya]

Twenty Things I Have Learned Before Entering My 20s:

i. If it's good: Alhamdulillah. If it's bad: Alhamdulillah.

ii. Romanticize life! As cliché as it might sound, it indeed is very important! This is exactly how my coping mechanism works: this world is ruthless, it's evil most of the time, but the world can also be a very very pretty place! I am a simple human, I try to cling to the prettier side of things more.

iii. No matter how good things are between me and the people I have in my life, if there's something I would rather not share about myself, and if it's not affecting the relationships I have with them, then no, I am not obligated to do so. Not everything feels good to be shared, and it's a feeling I have come to know as very common. You can keep certain things to yourself and still be a good person and a good friend.

iv. Not to sound contradictory but opening up most of the times does feel good! Letting the thoughts floating in your mind to gently land before someone can be very relieving and not as dreadful as you might have thought. Do it more often with the right people and allow yourself some peace.

v. If life gives you cats, you! pet! them! Forever thinking about how in documentary 'Kedi', I heard a Turkish proverb that says — "A cat meowing at your feet, looking up at you is life smiling at you." :']

vi. Platonic love holds the same importance and place as romantic love does! Both are love, and both are supposed to be treated like one; gently, delicately, carefully, respectfully, and most importantly, with its sweet reciprocation.

vii. Never shy away from "I don't know"s! No one knows how to deal with everything, and it is alright! Let people know that this might or might not be your first life and there are still things you have no information about! And it's OKAY! If their reaction discourages you, then don't ponder over it much. I have come to know that the words "I don't know" are indeed very magical, and magic is all about courage. Not everyone loves magic, not everyone's okay with certain kinds of courage, but the world still goes on.

viii. The act of exploration is not always the one where you take a huge backpack with yourself all set to travel the oceans and wander around. It's also buying a drink you have never tried before, praying to God that it's decent enough. It's about listening to an album and leaving it midway because it's just not for you. It's also about finding out what color suits you best and what's just not meant to be. These little explorations are what make you an explorer. The word might weigh heavy on some tongues, but to me, I have always been an explorer.

ix. Try not to hold grudges. Honestly. Let things go and embrace yourself with the calmness it brings with it.

x. Please do not be rude to your parents. In most cases, they are indeed trying their best to be a parent. Be gentle with them.

xi. if no one got me, i know my siblings got me. (i love u two so much (never mention this to me, ever. please. thanks.))

xii. In most cases, actually go with your first instinct. Whether it's running away from a person or getting yourself a new, never-tried-before attire.

xiii. Sab ne aisa mehsoos karaya hoga ki you are always a part of some unheard competition: age wise, grades wise, taste wise etc. But to be very honest, if you don't want it that way, there's literally no need to bother yourself thinking about it. You are moving forward in this so-called race marathon at your own pace. Just try to have fun with it.

xiv. The behaviours towards you are mostly (not always, though!) reciprocated.

xv. Friends !!! Friendships !!! Jitna ho sake, hold on to them achche se !! They were strangers once, jinke life got intertwined with yours in either the most mundane way or the most insane way! how beautiful is that, honestly?

xvi. If you're putting in your efforts, don't berate yourself for expecting some in return. It's all selfless act but it also should be somewhat mutual.

xvii. Those people who preach about living in the moment are actually right. Live in the moment! Baad ka baad mein chordo if it's too much pain or overwhelming. Majority of what's bothering you actually is just in your head (i'm not good at convincing myself on this either but i am trying my best). Aur waise bhi, you gotta be present in the moment to cheer it as a sweet or a bittersweet memory aage. Imagine going through it all and not even remembering how good it felt back then before the consequences (that goes away as fast as they arrive, mostly) hit.

xviii. With utmost sincerity, expect good things to happen to you and watch the magic unfold. Be gentle to yourself and watch your life copy that trait for you.

xix. It’s never just black and white. Never just right and wrong. Never just "they hate me" and "they love me". There's always a grey area. Always an okay in-between. Always a coexistence just right. There is always a medium ground. Almost always a 3D view of a situation that looks 2D. Never be too quick to judge another creature or to jump to a conclusion.

xx. Everything passes. This too shall pass.

[burningaurora]

Happy Birthday @impishtubist! I was chatting with @aqua-myosotis today and we decided to join forces in creating you an extra special birthday present! We hope you enjoy! The piano interlude by @aqua-myosotis is amazing 😍

[Podfic] Caesura written by @impishtubist & accompanied by @aqua-myosotis

One Shot | Length: 1:29:03 | Rating: M

The summer after Harry’s fourth year, Remus has to deal with a grieving child, a looming war, and unresolved feelings for the man he thought he’d lost fourteen years ago.

Caesura: a pause, or an interruption.

Listen on: AO3 | Streaming

[millidank]

Tis is the day of my birth 🎂 happy birth me

[cosmica-galaxy]

H A P P Y   B I R T H D A Y,  P O S S U M !!!

@chesterpossum884