#kingsley shacklebolt is the real mvp here

[impishtubist]

hello @soloorganaas this is very rough and very unedited but I was seized by the need to cause some anti-R/T chaos and what better day to do that than on your birthday <3 here’s an OOTP missing-scene ficlet for you.

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“They’d make a cute couple, wouldn’t they?”

Sirius follows Molly’s gaze, but he only sees Remus and Tonks sitting together by the fire, heads bent over a book.

“Who?”

“Remus and Tonks!” she whispers. “Don’t you think so?”

Sirius laughs, but Molly doesn’t. “Wait, really? You can’t be serious.”

She frowns at him. “There’s no need to sound so incredulous. There are many people out there who’d be lucky to have him as a partner! Besides, he needs someone to look after him, the poor dear. He’s your best friend. You should be encouraging this!”

“Encouraging this,” Sirius repeats, bemused. “Right. Sure thing, Molly. I’ll just go…do some encouraging.” 

***

The next morning, Sirius wakes Remus up with breakfast in bed. 

“What’s all this?” Remus asks groggily, staring at the three trays that are sitting on the bed, all of them overflowing with food.

“Apparently, you’re not being looked after properly,” Sirius says darkly.

“Did Molly tell you that?” Remus asks, his expression softening. He draws Sirius into a gentle kiss. “You look after me just fine, love.” 

Sirius grunts, but he’s heartened slightly when Remus picks up a plate of eggs and digs into them. 

“Er…Moony, have you noticed anything going on with Tonks lately?” he asks.

“Tonks? No,” Remus says, his brows knitting together in confusion.

“You don’t think she’s acting unusual or anything?”

“I don’t think so, but I don’t spend all that much time with her. Something wrong?”

Remus doesn’t know, then. He hasn’t caught on that Tonks has been flirting with him. Sirius could tell him…or he could wait and see how this plays out.

“Nope,” he says, plucking a grape from a bowl of fruit and popping it into his mouth. “Nothing at all.” 

***

Sirius enters the kitchen one morning to find Remus leaning a hip against the countertop, deep in conversation with Tonks, who is standing far closer to him than is necessary given the otherwise-empty room.

“Listen, Remus, I--” Tonks breaks off as soon as she notices Sirius. 

“Morning,” Sirius says cheerfully, biting back a smile. “You two look cozy.”

“We are,” Tonks says, crossing her arms, “and we’re having an important conversation--”

“Oh, don’t let me interrupt you. Pretend I’m not here.” Sirius busies himself with the kettle. “Rem, you want your usual?”

“Afraid not. I’m on guard duty.” Remus checks his watch. “In fact, I should be off. I’ll see you later tonight.”

“I’ll be here,” Sirius says dryly.

As soon as the door swings shut behind Remus, Tonks rounds on him.

“Cockblocked by my own cousin!” Tonks hisses, pinching his arm. “Can’t you read the room?”

Sirius lifts an eyebrow at her, nonplussed. “Sorry, were you about to shag Remus in the kitchen at--” he checks his watch “--nine in the morning?”

Tonks blushes. “No, but he was about to kiss me! I know it! And now he’s on guard duty for the rest of the day, and I’ve got the night shift later.” 

“Tough break,” Sirius says. “Better luck next time, Tonks.” 

***

Dumbledore, in a rare display of magnanimity, allows Harry to spend the holidays at Grimmauld. Harry’s friends decide they want to come with him, too, and so the house is once again overrun with Weasleys. Sirius is grateful for the company, he is, and there’s enough going on that he mostly manages to avoid Molly.

The festivities start well before the twenty-fifth. The kids arrive on the fourth night of Hanukkah, and Sirius is delighted to finally be able to share this part of himself with his godson. He recites the prayers while Remus shows Harry how to light the candles, and then they open presents, and after that Harry has a million questions that Sirius is only too happy to answer. 

Remus and Sirius bought Harry a joint present for Christmas, too. It’s not their holiday, but it was James and Lily’s, and they want to keep that alive for him. Harry greets them with a hug when they come downstairs on Christmas morning and starts gushing about his new defense books, and Sirius has to blink back tears. 

The party gets underway soon after that. Sirius levitates his gramophone downstairs and puts Remus in charge of music, and then he starts mixing drinks while Molly brings out tray after tray of food. The kids break out some games, and various members of the Order trickle in throughout the day. 

“Ugh, Sirius!” Harry complains the third time he’s caught under a sprig of rogue mistletoe. The first time had been with George, which had made Harry blush furiously, and the second time had been Molly, who had kissed him on the cheek. “This is embarrassing!”

Sirius gives him a loud, smacking kiss on the forehead, much to Harry’s chagrin. The mistletoe releases them and floats off to find a new set of victims. “Sorry, sprog. I’m not the one who charmed it.” 

“Can’t you do anything about it?”

“I can try,” Bill volunteers, but Molly quickly intervenes.

“No, no, leave it,” she says, and Sirius narrows his eyes at her. “It’s all in good fun.” 

“You…want us to leave up the mistletoe that Fred and George enchanted to be a pain in everyone’s arse?” Sirius asks incredulously. “You hate their pranks, Molly!”

“Not this one,” Molly hisses at him, casting a significant look over at Remus. Tonks has drifted over to him and is flipping through some of the albums he’s brought down, asking him about the various bands. 

Sirius turns away so she doesn’t see him roll his eyes.

It’s maybe half an hour later when it finally happens--the sprig of mistletoe traps both Remus and Tonks underneath it. Tonks, blushing furiously, tilts her head up for a kiss. Remus takes her hand instead and presses a kiss to the back of it, and the mistletoe releases them.

Sirius hopes that would be the end of it, but somehow Tonks only gets more starry-eyed. 

“He’s such a gentleman,” she says quietly to Sirius later as he mixes her another drink. 

“He certainly is,” Sirius agrees. It takes a lot for Remus to drop that gentlemanly demeanor, and usually doesn’t happen until Sirius is balls-deep in him. 

Kingsley Shacklebolt comes up to Sirius’s makeshift bar a few minutes later, and that’s when Sirius gets an idea.

“Find an excuse to get caught with me under that mistletoe,” Sirius murmurs in his ear as he passes over the drink, “and I’ll make it worth your while.” 

“Alright,” Kingsley says easily. Good man, Kingsley. Knows when to ask questions, and when to leave well enough alone.

Sirius has endured watching Tonks touch Remus’s shoulder, arm, or wrist no less than fifteen times when the mistletoe appears over his head again, and Kingsley appears at his side. Sirius cups the other man’s face and gives him a thorough snog. Kingsley’s big hands rest on his waist, and he gives as good as he gets, leaving Sirius more than a little breathless. 

The mistletoe zooms off, and Kingsley draws back.

“Did it help?” he murmurs. Sirius spots Remus over Kingsley’s shoulder, his expression stormy.

“We’re about to find out,” he murmurs back. 

“Excuse me,” Remus says, inserting himself between Kingsley and Sirius. “I need to have a word with Sirius.”

“Oh?” Sirius says. “A word about what, Remus?”

Remus kisses him. For a man allergic to public displays of affection, he certainly doesn’t seem to mind it right now, kissing Sirius until Sirius is dizzy with it.

“Er, Remus,” Tonks says. “The mistletoe is gone. You can stop kissing him now.” 

Remus breaks away from Sirius and raises an eyebrow at her. “I’ll kiss my boyfriend as often as I like, thanks.” 

Tonks’s mouth drops open. 

“Boyfriend?” she squeaks.

“Is that a surprise?”

“Yes, it is!” Tonks looks furious now. “I can’t believe you!” 

Remus looks questioningly at Sirius, who snorts. 

“You’re an oblivious idiot,” he says, lacing their fingers together. “But you’re my oblivious idiot.”