#happy b-day again!^^
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doodleandie Ā· 5 months ago
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My friend's, @irenereru sonic OC, Support Bot, but in 3D
And with mittens
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poorly-drawn-mdzs Ā· 6 months ago
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Normal Friend Behaviour.
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dreamingpartone Ā· 9 months ago
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some asny commissions I did for @marshmali late last year!
if you're interested in the story behind them, these are based on scenes from their fic Warm, Like Sunshine on Skin ā‚ŠāŠ¹
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garrandia Ā· 1 year ago
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ą«®ā‚ ā€¢ į“„ ā€¢ ā‚Žįƒą«®ā‚ ā€¢ į“„ ā€¢ ā‚Žįƒą«®ā‚ ā€¢ į“„ ā€¢ ā‚Žįƒ
happy Friday the 13th ā˜† ļ½ž('ā–½^äŗŗ)
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sugajimin Ā· 1 year ago
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some yoongi gifs until he comes back homeĀ (2/?)
happy birthday @namchyoon!!
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kaszymanny Ā· 1 month ago
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HAPPY B-DAY LG ILY
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fumifooms Ā· 5 months ago
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it youā€™re lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.
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Sheā€™s whatā€™s tethering him do you seeā€¦ And heā€™s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.
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Theyā€™re both so out of it šŸ˜­ Itā€™s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? Theyā€™re each otherā€™s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though sheā€™s also the guard attack hound keeping him safeā€¦ And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. Theyā€™re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They canā€™t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked. We both havenā€™t lived for ourselves in a very long time, havenā€™t we.
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They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it itā€™s ok heā€™s not all alone in the end šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ He reached out for Marcilleā€™s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, itā€™s okay Iā€™m okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because theyā€™re h-u-n-g-r-yĀ šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•
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I bet heā€™s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him theyā€™re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistlesā€¦... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you canā€™t suppress her in the way that matters. You canā€™t soothe him in the way that matters. Itā€™s doomed. Youā€™re doomed. Itā€™s all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#Iā€™m seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that itā€™s gonna get you killed#Itā€™s good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc heā€™s bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT ITā€™S WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasnā€™t socialized in a long#time and he wouldnā€™t if it wasnā€™t a tool he needed to interact with BUT itā€™s still socialization and itā€™s getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#Howā€™s that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY theyā€™re so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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veinsfullofstars Ā· 25 days ago
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šŸ­ Kirbtober 2024 Day 31: Darkness šŸ­
(ID: Kirby series fanart of Kirby - dressed as a mummy - happily dashing by and carrying Gooey - wearing a purple, star-striped witch hat - on his head, each holding an Invincible Candy and leaving a sparkly trail of other treats in their wake. END ID.)
Happy Halloween!
Previous Day | Compilation | Prompt List (made by @/paintpanic)
Started on 10/20/24, finished on 10/21/24. | Kirbtober 2023 Comp
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irishmammonagenda Ā· 3 months ago
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Belphie blinks at you in greeting as you slide under the covers with him, only humming gently when you hold onto him for dear life. Dark indigo eyes noticing with interest that you haven't even started getting ready for RAD yet---not that he was one to talk---the Avatar of Sloth merely gives you a lazy smirk and wraps his tail around you under the covers as you whisper a strangled out, 'hide me'.
He nods slowly, his throat feeling much too heavy, and he himself feeling much too lazy to use his words. A pale hand pulls the covers over your head, just in time too, as Lucifer bursts into the room, ruby red eyes shining like a wolf on the hunt.
"Have you seen MC?" The eldest asks, paying no mind to the usual sound of morning chaos coming from the rest of the house.
Belphie lets out a strangled, lazy, "Nope." all the while his tail tightens around you.
Lucifer shakes his head. Looking at the you shaped lump under the covers. Merely pinching the bridge of his hooked nose and sighing, "MC. If you wanted a break from RAD, you could've just asked instead of opting to hide."
You pop out from under the covers, eyes wide like a deer in headlights, Belphegor's arms wrap around you from under the covers, his eyes sleepily tracing the features of your face as you speak.
"Right.....yeah. Sorry Luci?" You tilt your head, the Avatar of Pride's eyes soften a fraction.
"Be sure to catch up on your schoolwork, we only have room for one academic failure in this house and I'm afraid that spot has permanently been reserved for Mammon." Lucifer says sternly, though you can see the faintest upward quirk of his lips.
"Aye aye Captain." You nod, sleepily saluting the eldest.
"Belphegor."
Belphie turns to look at his eldest brother.
"Just because MC has a day off school, it doesn't mean you have one. Your uniform's hanging up by your desk." The ebony-haired demon walks out of the room.
"...Diavolo fucking dammit."
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sysig Ā· 2 months ago
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For Requestober, Req.1
Scri dressed as an angel, Edgar dressed as a demon. It would be fun to see the roles swaped regarding costumes!
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Day 3 - Angel and Devil('s Advocate)
#My art#Requestober#Vargas#Scriabin#Edgar#Man! I tried not to shade this! And then my hand and eye mutinied against me and it ended up like this#It does look really nice like I'm really happy with it but hweh#I'd say I was trying to simplify so I can knock multiple out at once but a) I completely changed the poses during the sketch#Which I mean it's already a little on the complex side with them in costumes lol#And b) I ended up knocking another out the same day anyway so uhhhh it's fine I guess lol#Their couch really only comes in Loveseat and Extra Wide flavours depending on the day lol#Continuing the trend of them getting ready at home rather than actually being out during Trick or Treat#Even that one kid Trick or Treat was in the dreamscape! Will they ever leave the apartment! Lol#Another one of Scriabin's couple costume ideas again as well when will he stop complaining about his own choices lol#Never! He loves it! Haha#The halo is tucked into the braid in his hair - I've seen the headband version but they're ugly :P Lol#So basketball hoop design it is lol at least it's not a shower curtain haha#His wings' elastic arm bands are under his shawl - Edgar's helping him cover everything seamlessly#Not so lucky with his own costume! Hehe ''I'm not cutting holes in a perfectly good jacket for a costume'' ''Boooo'' lol#At least the tail is hooked to his belt so that's hidden! He gets the headband horns tho lol - they'd be cute as barrettes too hehe <3#Scriabin's going to be asking to switch halfway through the night after he trips on his gown for the fifth time haha#Did Edgar have the forethought to pack a change of clothes for him into his briefcase??#Probably has an emergency health kit and lets Todd (and Scriabin) borrow it for extra candy space haha#He gets to carry candy too <3 Involved ā™Ŗ
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dykedvonte Ā· 24 days ago
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Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like
-šŸ’€
It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.
If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.
Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.
He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...
#this is less headcanons and more my thoughts of the intersectional horror this brings to mouthwashing which is also a thing it#already has but more directly in the mix vs just the class gender and positional struggle. like the idea he waited to confront Jimmy becaus#he could conceptualize the crime better because of experience with womanhood and also how it would've destroyed him in terms of being trans#like its weird to word as a comparison but thats kinda how empathy works as in an understanding and ability to project through aspects#like you found out your friend who has always had weird feelings about and relating to you is a rapist and got one of your other friend#pregnant and is now being openly hostile and aggressive towards you. You have only a few days to really think on all of this all the years#with him and how many oppurtunites he had that you blame yourself for giving him both in life and to do to you. You are starting to#realize that he may have done what he did to Anya because it was no longer viable with him or because of weird transphobia/homophobia#from Jimmy and god its so much and he should've know better and what did Jimmy do then - c r a s h#he is at such a small amount of mercy to Jimmy now and he can't protect Anya and it's terrifying because i know and you know that Jimmy is#giving him those weird looks again...#like it adds another layer of horror to things and while I don't think Jimmy would do anything to Curly it's heavily implied he targeted he#because of relatively more important position and getting Curly to have doubts about him as a power play and Curly knows Jimmy well enough#that him immediately exerting his authority and power would set him off after already having been mad about it and even when doing#damage control it still set him off. like its the horror of accidenlty siding with your oppresser and hurting other like you only to then b#stabbed in the back again by the person who took advantage of your nature like its so complext but my actual trans curly headcanons#are just a little bit happier like i imagine he was the first on the boys soccer team and a star player. maybe he and jimmy even picked ou#his first offical ā€œboyā€ clothes and Jimmy picked most so he looked like the grungiest white boy but she was a boy so it didn't matter cause#it was with his friend who accepted him and I bet on the bed he looks back at all those moments and notices the little details that his#friend wasnt actually so happy but he can't be certain when he started looking so bitter or hes just imagining out of paranoia cause he jus#cant know and even if he could he wouldn't want to ask like god thinking about Anya and probably being a little glad if not heartbroken#that she did get out of it in the end like trans curly and anya destroy me even more its so upsetting like he didn't realize how much he go#you girl and waited to act like it was cowardice but then would she not realize what hes realizing? should that be a grace or more of a#condemnation in her mind like what are her thoughts? espically during the scene Jimmy hits Curly like she had to hear and what did she thin#they are tormented in a similar hells with the same demon and its fascinating#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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poorly-drawn-mdzs Ā· 2 years ago
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Advanced Hall Monitor Technique: Go To Detention
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alucardsathomewife Ā· 1 year ago
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Happy birthday Sir Integra
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forestgreenlesbian Ā· 12 days ago
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#my little brother is engaged :/#donā€™t know if any of you remember me posting about the whole situation like 8 months ago but i feel soo weird#and sad because i want to b happy for him but heā€™s six yrs older than her and sheā€™s 19..#or i guess twenty now maybe whatever i feel so aggh. and he moved to a different country so i just feel like iā€™m never gonna see him again#like i knew this was coming theyā€™re both super religious so i was like yeah theyā€™re going to want to get married and have kids fast but.#it just feels crazy. i know thatā€™s selfish but i have such a bad gut feeling about it that i canā€™t shake#but i canā€™t do anything about it so. idk. i just feel so lonely when things like this happen because i don't have anyone outside of the#family bubble to talk to about it. and obviously everyone else is like super happy for them. and it's not that i don't like her! i just#don't really? know her? at all which feels weird because we are a very close sibling group and i feel like i know & get on with my other#siblings' partners. i think it's partly like i just don't ever hang around people who are under twenty so she feels really young to me#which isn't her fault obviously but. do feel kind of scared for her getting married at twenty so she can start having babies.... idk idk#and obviously on top of that it's my younger brother so it does feel a little salt in the wound that he's moving on with his life and i am#counting it a win these days if i don't want to kms every three minutes#god it just sucks lol and i can't talk about it 2 anyone so i am venting here
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m1d-45 Ā· 7 months ago
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-Pari Anon
Pari!Reader gets sad when their leaf mask gets torn. Whether they were playing too rough or Wei (the cat in the inn lobby) tore it, they lost their mask. They have those sad anime eyes (the cutely exaggerated ones). They want to fix it, but no one else knew about that leaf mask.
They stay gloomy for the rest of the day until Xiao comes back.
The next day, they see a little replica of Xiaoā€™s mask made from wood. It was sitting near their nest. When they tried it in, it was light but sturdy. Who could have gotten it for them? How was it so detailed? Who could have known? Oh well. Time to play, little Pari thinks.
Xiao didnā€™t have the heart to just leave them after he heard them crying when the leaf mask was ripped. He might have put a charm on this one so it wouldnā€™t break as easily.
[ previous post ]
xiao was better than this. the last yaksha, conqueror of demons,Ā the bane of all evil himself.. searching the plains of liyue well into the night for a suitable piece of wood to carve. it wasnā€™t for an offering, it wouldnā€™t be turned into an incense bowl or statue, it was neither for a critical repair or somehow enchanted to be a danger. no, this wood would be used for a far more frivolous purpose: you.
you, who heā€™d been watching from the roof as you played on the balcony below. you with your mock spear and wei with his paws, uselessly batting at each other in a play fight. he thought it was ridiculous, reallyā€”your thin wings would surely bleed beneath any monsterā€™s claws, better you learn to run away from dangerā€”but had watched. it was harmless fun. you ducked behind the potted bonsai for protection, racing around the trunk and likely making the poor cat dizzy, when a harsh rip echoed into the night. you stopped, looking behind you as the two halves of your ā€˜maskā€™ fluttered to the floor, torn by one of the branches of the tree. his only thought was that you werenā€™t hurt, watching as wei tackled you off the pot and onto the floor, but you squirmed free quickly, floating over to the remainsā€¦ sadly? wei followed, sniffing the leaves, but you didnā€™t seem interested in playing anymore. you sat by the leaves for far too long, not even moving when wei curled up beside you.
it was nothing. it was a leaf tied around your head with anotherā€™s stem, bound to rot and flake away anyway, but you were sulking the next day. he never thought heā€™d return to his makeshift room and have you not fly up to him with a cloud of chirps, and he quickly decided he didnā€™t like it. if you were sad you lost your mask, then heā€™d just have to get you a new one.
he kicked at the remains of a campfire, stomping out the remaining embers. an abandoned adventurerā€™s camp of some sort, the air free of any malicious warnings. besides the remains of the campfire were a few stray logs, likely spare firewood. he dug through the measly pile, pulling out a log. there was no rot, water damage, no sign of bugs or anything else that would ruin the wood. without another thought, he tucked it under his arm, turning and vanishing into the wind.
he had left when you were already asleep, so he could go straight to his room, but he made a stop first. yanxiao hardly jumped when he turned from the stove, though he did eye the log in his hands strangely.
ā€œwhat can i get you?ā€
ā€œi need to borrow a knife.ā€
ā€œā€¦ā€ he laughed, propping his hands on the table in front of him, and xiao grit his teeth. an adepti, reduced to thisā€¦ ā€œwhat, did you lose your spear?ā€
ā€œof course i didnā€™t,ā€ he snapped, ā€œbut iā€™m not foolish enough to think i can use a spear to carve wood.ā€
yanxiao nodded in understanding, reaching into his pocket for a small flip knife. it was barely as long as one of his fingers, the handle a dark wood. ā€œthis should do, i think.ā€ he threw the knife underhand, and xiao caught it with ease. the blade flicked out easily, sharp to the touch. ā€œremember to cut away from you, yeah?ā€
his grip tightened on the knife, leaving without thanks.
safely in the shadow of his room, xiao finally relaxed. one by one, he removed his guards and charms, quietly setting them in their respective places. you were curled up in your bed as always, none the wiser as he stepped out onto the balcony. he sat facing the moon, setting his mask on the floor beside him. again drawing the small knife, he braced the wood in his lap and began to carve.
yanxiao was many things, but a fool he was not. he had heard from verr about your mask tearing yesterday, about how you sat quietly on xiaoā€™s terrace for the rest of the day in a pout. you were a strange guest, certainly, but you were xiaoā€™s. he kept very limited company, and those he lingered around felt his affections quietly.
when flowers had blown off their tables prior to the reception of an important guest, a mysterious bundle of qingxin had found itā€™s way onto the reception desk to replace them. when the eccentric xianyun had stopped by for a ā€˜surprise lunch,ā€™ a small note in familiar writing on his table told him her tastes. when your small, flimsy mask tore in twoā€¦ well, he couldnā€™t wait to find out.
he worked as usual, trading guesses with verr as he helped ferry plates back and forth. would he fetch you new leaves in perpetuity? fetch new ones from your home nation of sumeru? find a new toy to distract you? neither of them had ever met a pari before, didnā€™t know what you wanted or needed to thrive, but they entertained themselves with nonsense speculation nontheless.
xiao showing up in his kitchen without warning was nothing out of the ordinary. yanxiao had learned to pick out the shift in air pressure that signaled his arrival, wiping off his hands and putting the washed vegetables aside. the flat expression on his face was also routine, but the log he held most certainly wasnā€™t. handcarved offerings werenā€™t all too uncommon in liyue, especially from an adeptus, but he had a feeling it wasnā€™t for rex lapis or another adepti.
the next question, of course, was what he would carve. verr suggests a wooden mimic of the leaf mask and he canā€™t hide the way that makes him laugh, his smile wider than usual as he greets customers.
that night, if you stood just quietly enough beneath the upper balcony and the wind blew the right way, you would hear the quiet scrape of wood and metal. and the next morning, if you were anywhere near the inn, you would likely see a bright pari weaving through the levels, eager to show off their brand new mask carved by the hero ofĀ dihua marsh himself.
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nathandrakeisabottom Ā· 5 months ago
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Imprisoned, Impressioned: Nathan Drake x Reader
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Summary: As a Panamanian prison guard, you signed on the dotted line that you'd never take bribes, never bring prisoners off grounds, and never beat on/off inmates. But for one, you just might make an exception. So long as he stays in his cage. Notes: Explicit. Gender neutral reader. B0ndage, fem/male-dom, r*mming. Cause that's his bussy, folks, don't get it twisted. (Get it plunged.)
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ā€œGod, youā€™re such a fucking brat.ā€Ā 
Nate snorts in a wavering smirk in reaction, stabilizing a cocky grin as best he possibly can.Ā 
But his best seems to be quickly deteriorating in quality.Ā 
ā€œI distinctly remember telling you weā€™d only keep this up if you stayed out of trouble.ā€ Your busy tongue shapes words around a threatening tone, fingers drifting mindlessly where you spread him open, but Nateā€™s quick to wiggle his hipsā€” cute, and fucking irresistibleā€” to coax you back in.Ā 
ā€œReally? Because what you actually do kinda seems to imply the opposite.ā€
And heā€™s right.Ā 
You rove and search memory, only to find no occurrence where he wasnā€™t sporting a newly-earned bruise, a flinching face from a black eye, blood still speckled where his lip had been split from a particularly well-aimed punch. And heā€™s right. you only gave him this when he misbehaved.Ā 
Punishment, you convince yourself.Ā 
Comfort, your better mind argues.
Like a band-aid you administer, a kiss where it hurts. Maybe you only offered such a thing in the aftermath of cruelty. Defend from the bullies when he claims he needs no defense.Ā 
Even though he does.
ā€œDo you mind taking these off? Wrists starting to ache a bitā€”ā€
And he sounds so earnest when he says it that you almost move, relinquish to give him what he asks for. But youā€™re no idiot. He may be cuteā€” you wonā€™t lie and say you donā€™t feel some sort of affection for him, no matter how tart and mistrustfulā€” but youā€™re grounded enough in your conviction to know he always has an ulterior motive.Ā 
ā€œGood. Itā€™ll build some strength. Youā€™ll want this position again. you can tell.ā€
You learned quickly not to play coy with Nathan. He liked blunt. He liked vulgar. He liked when you told him to shut up after a quip and called him ā€˜pretty boyā€™ with a sharp, teasing tone and forced him as deep as his legs could possibly go, ignoring when heā€™d grunt discomfortedly. He liked it when you called him out on his bullshit. He liked it when you knew what he wanted before he did.
And just like you expected it would, his cock jumps with an excited, anticipatory twitch. Of course heā€™ll want this again. He likes being held open. He likes being held down.Ā 
But before he can hop in with some sort of pathetic, half-hearted joke, you pry his legs wide and delve back inside. Tongue lapping pink and untethered between his thighs, where his hole puckers sweet, wet, and where he has no choice but to sigh in pleasure. you kiss him there like youā€™re kissing himā€” because weā€™ve never kissed before and frankly have no reason toā€” and this is a lovely consolation prize. He tastes tangy, stings of soap after-tasting between your lips because he always keeps himself nice and clean for you. You could only be so lucky to one day watch for yourself as he props one foot up on the shower bar, examines himself in the fogging mirror, razor in hand, and fantasizes about what youā€™d prefer, what youā€™d desire, what youā€™d want best against your tongue. What would make you bring him back sooner next time.
Maybe one day you can convince the Lieutenant to transfer your post to the male showers so you can watch for yourself.Ā 
ā€œSo goodā€¦ā€ His groan rumbles deep and dark down his belly, breath desperate, gasping uneven at a pleasure soaked in only on barren grasses on the outer perimeter, where they forget to water it because no one ever, ever goes out that far. Your passion exists in secret, exists only in handcuffs and lies you hold better than any truth when you tell the other guards youā€™re only planning to rough him up a bit. When you feel like treating yourself, pushing past the boundaries of where your waning shyness crumbles, you allow your palm to brush past denimā€” old bloodstains aged to a grainy brownā€” to squeeze his naked chest between your claws. Heā€™s fit, heā€™s young, heā€™s nimble, heā€™s beautiful. And whatever heā€™ll let you hold, whatever heā€™ll let you touch, you will.Ā 
Your tongue dips deeper, pushes past pucker with little resistanceā€” you always wonder if he preps himself for you first, skin stinging freezing cold against the steel toilet bowl and leg hiked high over the toilet paper rack, how many cigarettes must he trade for olive oil, lotion, vaseline, fucking anythingā€” and he croons sounds just as impassioned as his daily fist fights.Ā 
Fights you sometimes let go just a hair too long to enjoy the sounds he makes: pained and giving pain near identical. Though the pained ones have always been a personal favorite.Ā 
Againā€” he likes being held down.
And the wispy laugh that bubbles past his lips when the fight is finally broken up never suggests anything different.
This can never go on long enough for youā€” suspicion is born quickly in the likes of a Panamanian jailā€” so you always need to draw things to a close far, far sooner than youā€™d like. Your fingers reluctantly reach up to grasp his cock between them, stroke him just how you know he likes, be quick about it because he always either comes way too fast or takes just a little too long, and you always have to split the difference.
He groans delicious at your mercy, nails digging contradictorily merciless into the skin you long to taste, but never have the time to. One day youā€™ll leave him hard from foreplay and nothing else, abandon him aching and more desperate for next time. And next time, maybe youā€™ll make him eat you out. The image of his sweet, strikingly blue eyes gazing up at you from between your legs imprints in your weak-willed mind and steers the rhythm of your fist faster. How fucking adorable he is, how scrappy, how witty, how bratty, how you love the sounds he makes, how you love his skin pinching pink between your fingers, how the thought of one day marking him even deeper drives you wild.Ā 
Your tongue points, swallows, and savors for one final taste, before skating further along to foreign territories. And you distract him with quicker speeds, tightened grip, because youā€™re the same:Ā 
You always have an ulterior motive.
ā€œFuckā€”ā€ His moans transcend into higher octaves, just like they do when heā€™s close, and his feet scramble for purchase, legs bending and stretching and flailing until you have to force them back up into position. Be good, babyboy. Stay where you want you. A gasp suddenly squeezes from his overworked lungs, a product likely of his precarious positioning, and thereā€™s one second where you almost fear youā€™ll drop him. But your chest is quick to push forward and prop him back upright, keep him vertical, give him support until he comes in your arms. He breaks out into a wistful wisp of moan at the movement.
Yeah. Yeah, youā€™re definitely gonna want this position again.
And when he finally does come, you squeeze his thighs between your arms just before he can tip overā€” even though the sick satisfaction of a ruined orgasm, the sight of him falling hard and fast and unfair into the dirt below, always sounds like a fun idea on paper. Your own brand of cruelty is usually more playful than sadistic. But eh, watching him come uninterrupted isnā€™t so bad, either.Ā 
You drive your pace fast and consistent, and donā€™t stop even when you feel him coast languidly down your wrist. He always keeps bucking into your fistā€” hedonistic and somewhat masochisticā€” even when it must start to edge on the side of pain. Nate chases his pleasure because itā€™ll run out far too soon, itā€™s always far too soon, and something tells you he wants to impress. Prove to you a stamina that prolongs, even when you always deny his request to let him inside. Or maybe even a volume, to prove just how much heā€™s willing to give, how much his body will supply for your tongue to swallow up laterā€” salty and warm and satisfactory because you earned it fair and square.Ā 
He comes a lotā€” but maybe heā€™s just trying to beat a personal record.
His final wail gives way to heaving pants, stomach tightening and relenting and tensing and back again, and his pleasure is so thorough that he drops limp in your hands. Little death, indeed. Nate dies in your arms as you gift him one last kiss there in a sweet finality, remind him of what heā€™ll receive in a couple days if youā€™re feeling nice, a couple weeks, a couple months if youā€™re feeling cruel. Taste him again because you love the thought of being inside him-ā€“ and the feeling of him around your tongue will be enough masturbation fodder to last you the better part of a week. Until next time. Until he gives you something even better to imagine.
ā€œWoofā€¦ā€ Nate smiles doey-eyed and serene, and you canā€™t help the cocky, self-satisfied smirk that eases itself across your face. He looks fucking adorableā€” all blissed-out and rosy red and still slightly throbbing between your fingers with an overeager abandon.Ā 
Yeahā€¦ maybe youā€™ll be nicer this time around. Because you already know how violently youā€™re going to miss the sight of him like this.Ā 
ā€œCrap, that felt so fucking good.ā€Ā 
Your teeth clamp teasingly into his thigh, flirty in a way you almost never allow, and he giggles. He fucking giggles. And you want to slap yourself for how quick your heart squeezes around such a delicious sound. you want to hold it longer. Wring it out of him faster. And against all reasoning, you want more of it.Ā 
But thereā€™s no time. Thereā€™s no trust. You can never let on such a feeling.Ā 
This can only last so long as you keep control, so long as you keep distance.
But as soon as you lay his legs back to restā€” he grunts when his body makes such an abrupt transfer of weightā€” Nate presses out into the unknown, and asks the only thing that would bridge the distance before you can push it back apart. Just as you finish lifting his slacks back up around his hips, zipping him closed (a common courtesy that may even be too tender by your standards), he sighs relieved and sweet before you can grapple him back to standing:
ā€œ...What? Not even a goodbye kiss?ā€
Oh god.
The freedom awarded by ecstasy has made him dumb. He has no idea what heā€™s even asking for. And for the fifteen additional seconds of bravery he has left, before his orgasm leaves him in a cold sweat and he begs you to not take him back, heā€™ll convince himself that this is a good idea.Ā 
Heā€™ll convince himself that his joke is hilarious and heā€™s a better actor than he actually is. Because, even if you actively tried to ignore it, his wavering breath sticks out like a sore thumb. He canā€™t make the words sound natural, casual, suave in the way he must want them to. Thereā€™s something overzealous about it. And your stomach clenches at how your initial reaction to this isnā€™t repulsion.
But also, in the now ten seconds of bravery he has left, heā€™ll convince himself that a kiss will only make the sex better. That it wonā€™t ruin it and he wonā€™t mind the taste of himself on your tongue and the idea of adding feelings to the mix will be a good idea. Because, yes, oh my god, Nate, how fucking brilliant of you, yes, letā€™s add feelings to the mix. You know, I always thought prison bathrooms were so romantic. What a lovely getaway. Why not retire and raise kids in the handicapped stall while weā€™re at it?!
But his lips look so soft. Unbearably so. One corner is slightly chapped, skin peeling from a still-healing cut, and the instinct to kiss it better overwhelms, dizzy and sickening in just how badly you want to pursue it into reality. The idea of wanting him nauseates, terrifies. But the desire to give in, to taste for yourself the tantalizing beauty that always hovers just a little too far out of reach, is stronger.
When you two meet, itā€™s terrible and you hate it.Ā 
Because itā€™s fucking electric.Ā 
ā€¦
Shit.Ā 
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
You break away before you can dwell on it, praying youā€™ve satisfied him enough to never ask again, but the residue stings clear across your lips.Ā 
It was good. It was a good kiss.Ā 
Nateā€™s eyes flutter back open just a second too lateā€” and his lungs die on an inhale he mustā€™ve thought he wouldnā€™t be privy to so soon. But the reaction is evident, etched along his face. It was a good kiss.Ā 
And he fucking noticed.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
His lips curl with a dazed sort of satisfaction, just in the way you feared they would. But his eyebrows jump, too, confusion just as much as pleasure, eyes reading you for something more. Clearly something has to be said, and you pray you're the one to say it first. ā€˜Okay, up and at ā€˜em.ā€™ ā€˜Nice try, but never again.ā€™ ā€˜Take a picture, itā€™ll last longer.ā€™ ā€˜Youā€™re a rat and you hate you, asswipe.ā€™ ā€˜This can never, ever, ever happen again. And fuck you for even trying, Nathan Drake, if that even is your real nameā€”ā€™
But youā€™re too slow, and Nateā€™s chest rises in an abrupt inhale that signals heā€™s beat you to the punch.
Oh god. Donā€™t say anything. Donā€™t say anything.Ā 
But he does. Of course, he does. Even with a sock in his mouth, rope, tape, palm, heā€™ll find some way to talk (and trust, every single oneā€” and then someā€” has already been tried).Ā 
ā€œ...One more?ā€
You just didnā€™t think that was going to be his answer.
There is one moment of absolute terror. The split second of doubt on the deep end diving board. He must know this is a terrible idea. He has to know. Thereā€™s no way his orgasm was so good that he completely lost touch with reality. The silence stretches endless and icey. And you can tell the feeling is mutual.
But then, all of a sudden, his fallen face splits, smiles uplifting into something familiar. Cheeky. Safe.
ā€œIā€™m just messing with you.ā€
And a laugh escapes before you can even register exactly what youā€™re feeling.Ā 
The feeling is relief.Ā 
Yeah, thatā€™s it. Relief trickles in and cools your blood back down to sanity. Fucking asshole gave you a goddamn heart attack. You deliver him a curt punch to the shoulder to release the remaining tension, but he laughs it off as soon as it lands. And how sweet his laughter is only makes you want to punch him harder.Ā 
Little brat is much cuter with his mouth closed. And far, far away from yours.
You grab hold onto his handcuffs and wrestle him back to standingā€” a motion he leans into far more reluctantly than usualā€” his throat still fluttering with an excess giggle.
ā€œCome on, champ, letā€™s get you back home. Nobodyā€™s gonna be missing me, but they sure as hell are gonna be missing you.ā€
ā€œAww, donā€™t say thatā€¦ā€
His facetiously tender tone dribbles like slow caramel down your back as he twists his neck to face you, and he drops a bomb that almost makes you die at his feet.Ā 
ā€œI know I will.ā€
ā€¦Fucking brat.Ā 
Yeah, youā€™ll make sure to bring him back sooner this time. Fucking definitely. Give him a spank or two for good measure. Let him kiss you againā€” and this time bite his lip tilā€™ it bleeds. Give him a wound of your own. A mark of your own.
But then again, none of that would really be punishment for either of you, would it?
And just before you can shove him back into the courtyard, he tilts down to whisper in your ear:
ā€œPlease donā€™t make me wait so long next timeā€¦ maā€™am.ā€
Oh.
Oh god.
Oh, donā€™t worry your pretty little head, Nathan.Ā 
ā€¦
I wonā€™t.
ā­‘ā­‘ā­‘
The metallic walls sting matte and clouded with a heavy steam, lungs thick and breath difficult. Lust and peace lie reclined in humidity. After a startlingly quick release down the shower drain, a simple purpose rather than a prolonged pleasureā€” he tries not to think too hard about why he always curses himself for finishing so soon, or what reasons he has to prefer saving such a deeper pleasure for laterā€” Nate points his focus back to the basics. He never bothered with anything fancy. The money Sully wired them was only ever used for band-aids, Tylenol, and whatever shitty coffee the commissary kept stocked (ā€œNone of these rats are ever gonna catch me sleeping,ā€ Sam would say with a suspicious side-eye), which meant nice shampoo was off the table. But suddenly Nate was rethinking it.Ā 
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he started making sure he smelled good. Looked good, too.Ā 
ā€¦But for who?Ā 
A pestering question he always ignored the answer to.
He scrubs up his chest generously, barely even notices when he catches the tail end of a peeling scab, absent-minded and letting his thoughts run to nothing and nowhere. This was his only time of peace and solitudeā€” why waste it with thinking? Why waste it when the next black eye, cut knee, broken rib was probably already outside waiting for him?
But as his hands drift downward, reaching to clean between his legs, he abruptly flinches.Ā 
ā€¦Huh.Ā 
Thatā€™s weird.
Now, Nate was no stranger to violent wounds he didnā€™t notice till later onā€” he could almost consider them a friendly confidant, a toxic sort of loverā€” but this one was especially disconcerting. A dull, tingling pain on his inner thigh. A strange place to not notice getting wounded.Ā 
He shakes his head and tries to ignore itā€” maybe he had just scratched himself during a particularly vivid nightmareā€” but when his palm moves low, he winces even harder.Ā 
ā€¦What the fuck?
Itā€™s bigger than he thought. A lot bigger. And the ache is sharp enough to make him completely drop his soap when he touches it.Ā 
Okay, seriously, what the fuck?!
Nate abandons all motivation, turns tail out of the stall, and leaves his bar of soap to linger lonely on the shower floor. He has to know whatā€™s going on. Allergic reaction? A sneak attack while he slept? Fucking STDS?
But when he reaches the bathroom mirror, levees his leg up to catch the culprit, his stomach drops.Ā 
And his cock twitches in unexpected interest.
Because there, stained across the inner side of his left thighā€” drawn across his skin in lovingly littered hickiesā€” is the unmistakable, pink-purple bruised shape of the first letter of your name. A brand. A claim.
A mark of your own.
ā€œ ...Shit.ā€
ā­‘ā­‘ā­‘
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