#haha please hire me

[gal-o-guacamole]

announcement // the requisition

sketch bonus:

Reference: La Anunciación by Fabian Chairez (2023)

[sunnys-side-upside-down]

Blorbo's Eepiest Soldier

Thank you everyone for your kind words, I'm doing better and am back to it <3

[sysig]

Coming in to play! (Patreon)

[sketching-shark]

If you were put in charge of making a JTTW movie/TV adaption from start to finish what direction would you have the show go?

*SHAKING AND FROTHING AT THE MOUTH FROM THE THOUGHT OF BEING IN CHARGE OF MY OWN ULTRAVIOLENT BODY HORROR-ESQUE JTTW ADAPTATION* Oh I am so normal about this prospect anon.

But in all seriousness I think I would DEFINITELY want it to be a lengthy animated tv adaptation because there's so much rich backstory and plot in the og classic that a movie length doesn't really let you delve into, AND because the wild transformations and different entities seem like they would be best conveyed in the limitless possibilities of animation! Like just imagine how terrifying a havoc in heaven would be where the Monkey King is shown taking FULL advantage of every single one of his abilities (as-you-will cudgel size transformation, tons of monkey clones, transformation from one creature to another, invulnerability, truth-seeing eyes, transformation into a three-headed six-armed towering monstrosity to fight an Erlang Shen who does the same, etc.). In addition, I also do think that the length of time it took for the pilgrims to warm up to each other and for Sun Wukong to go from a practical and ruthless yaoguai warlord to the Buddha Victorious in Strife is an important part of what makes Xiyouji the classic that it is, and this is all something that I think could be well captured in a lengthy animated series.

I know for sure that I'd want to spend a good amount of time on Sun Wukong's transformation from a relatively innocent stone monkey to the most viciously powerful of the yaoguai warlords to a sincere Buddhist, especially since the very understandable fear of death for himself and his loved ones seems to constantly be a driving force behind a lot of his actions. I think seeing the transformation of the monkey from loving and wanting to protect a relatively small group of people (47,000 monkeys & his friends) to extending that active love and compassion to individuals of all sorts, both human and yao, could be a really cool arc for the Monkey King too. This is especially so as it raises the interesting question as to whether compassion and love can end up being destructive if it's only offered to some but not others, and what atonement for past violence might be.

Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing also present a potentially fascinating case of dealing with disgraced deities who start off by considering their time on Earth and time on the journey a punishment before they eventually come to develop genuine compassion for the mortals they encounter. Stories about a fall from heaven leading to the fallen ones developing greater empathy for those who were once literally below them is my jam, and I think these other two pilgrims could offer a neat way to explore that! Also I want to note that I'm fully on team "Zhu Bajie is constantly complaining that he's hungry and tired first because of his own appetites and then as a way to get the other four self-destructive idiots to stop and take care of the basic necessities of life." For sure I'd also add in that potential hint noted by others that breaking a vase during a banquet had a precedent of being used as a signal to start a coup, thus explaining why Sha Wujing's punishment on Earth was much worse than Zhu Bajie's. And one simply can't do without the indication that it was everyone's favorite Friar Sand who had eaten eight of Tang Sanzang's reincarnations! He may be one of the pilgrim group's straight men, but he also spent centuries as a cannibal <3.

Also yeah hard agree with others that both Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing start off the pilgrimage pretty terrified of Sun Wukong because they saw him at his violently worst in heaven. As a treat :3

I think I'd also have Ao Lie spend more time outside of his horse not just so that he can be a dragon-ish guy as well as an actual dragon, but also so that we can get more insight into how his transformation from a destructive prince to a humble steed changed him. I think it also would be cool to spend a little more time on the dragon kings and how, for example, it does raise some uncomfortable questions about their whole deal if Ao Lie could commit arson & destroy a pearl and be punished pretty brutally while Ao Guang could run a weather-based protection racket for centuries and get a 12 year old to kill himself and yet they all seem to be cool with that :[

I'd also want to make my adaptation one that deals more with the aftereffects of the absolute bullshit the pilgrims go through. For example, it's pretty rare to find an adaptation out there that gives full weight to the stuff Tang Sanzang went through, and while it is understandable why and can be funny to characterize him as one of the "straight men" of the pilgrim group or as the weepy useless guy who falls off his dragon horse all the time, I've literally never encountered an adaptation that for example has him react at the age of 18 to his mother committing suicide after Xuanzang went through so much to try and help her, or him having to see both of the human companions he started the journey with get eaten alive by yaoguai. I'd want to make Tang Sanzang more of a dynamic character than he is even in Xiyouji itself, and I do think delving into this background--you knowing, showing why exactly he does in fact have good reason to be suspicious and even hateful of yaoguai and perhaps more secretly certain humans (his mother was after all brutalized for years by a bandit chief)--would be good to deal with in showing Tang Sanzang's journey to enlightenment. And for sure I'd want to make Tang Sanzang a little more like the historical Xuanzang in having him both be a master translator and a canny rule-breaker; I think that having the story follow history in that Xuanzang was in fact forbidden from going west in search of Buddhist scriptures but went anyway, for example, would be a good path to follow. Might give him an interesting point of relation and sympathy to SWK as well, in that both of them would be challenging authority to do what they think is right.

I do think that this all could also make for a really interesting point of tension and later comprehension between Tang Sanzang and SWK, where you would have the monk and the monkey on the same journey for very different but in some ways similar reasons (Tang Sanzang wants the scriptures because he sincerely believes that they will save countless souls, SWK wants to finish the journey so that he can go back home and protect his monkeys). Like Tang Sanzang would be starting the journey at age 28 and after going through some pretty intense trauma, but having lived in a monastery for most of his life wouldn't have much of a sense of what dangers the world contains as SWK, even though he is determined to complete the journey no matter the cost to himself. SWK, on the other hand, would be starting the journey after the bitter defeat in heaven and the anguish of 500 years in solitary confinement, and would likely be enraged about everything he lost but would still be operating under the terrible elation that came from his vast violent power. As someone else once put it, it could be a similar dynamic to a late middle-aged triads boss having to watch out for a beginning grad student lmao. So you'd have a lot of tension between SWK and Tang Sanzang's world views, with the former thinking that violence is a perfectly acceptable way to solve problems or get what you want, while the other abhors violence of all sorts, and they'd both have plentiful reasons to criticize the other.

While the film The Monkey King 2 is far from the best JTTW retelling out there (though it is one of my personal favorites lol), it also has this pretty great and rare scene for JTTW retellings that I feel I'd like my own retelling to somewhat emulate. Here, Sun Wukong saves Tang Sanzang and a bunch of little kids from the violent actions of a king, but he's only able to do this because the Monkey King is more powerful than the king and is able to legitimately threaten the king with death if he goes back to his vicious ways. Tang Sanzang does get Sun Wukong to spare the king, but the king then directly calls the monk out on the seeming hypocrisy of his mission. I forget the exact words, but the king's accusations were basically about how Tang Sanzang is a fraud and a liar because for all that he preaches peace and forgiveness he wouldn't be able to make it anywhere, he wouldn't be able to save anyone, he would have in fact been killed long ago if it wasn't for Sun Wukong's power and willingness to violence. And I do think in a lot of ways this is the crux of a lot of interesting questions that Xiyouji brings up even if it never provides one solid answer: that we all want to be relieved of suffering, and yet what do we do in a world where violence is something we both constantly suffer from as well as commonly inflict upon others?

I guess ultimately I'd want this to be a retelling that really focuses on the many forms and roles of violence in the shaping of a society, what the consequences of this violence often is, and what might be done to create a more just and peaceful life for all.

I'd know I'd want to spend a lot of time on SWK getting back home to Mt. Huaguoshan and finding it this burned-out ruin with the vast majority of his family dead or otherwise gone, only to realize that this was done by heaven in retaliation for the war and his havoc in heaven in a true case of mythological M.A.D. I feel like this, as with other scenes, would be a good way to bring up Xiyouji's frequent refrain that "for the strong there's always the stronger," and how the devastation that violence and warfare wrecks on a landscape, even if it seems awesome and justifiable at the time it's being waged, leads to horrific problems that don't go away even after generations and which could very easily be turned against you and your loved ones. I've said before that one of the things that I like about the Monkey King is that he almost always has a very clear reason for doing what he does, and I think this would be a great arc for it to really and painfully hit home that ultimately violence does not exist in a vacuum, and, especially when you care about so many, it ultimately serves to create a world where your own loved ones can easily become the next who will suffer. Yet even here the complexity of the situation doesn't stop, because while SWK is able to vastly improve the lives of his monkeys by doing everything he can to restore Mt. Huaguoshan back to its former fecundity, he also protects them by well killing 1000 human hunters who had been going after them for years. The violence may never stop, but neither do the efforts to make the world a more peaceful place. And as it is, no one can live by the sword alone.

Just some sketchy thoughts anon, but I hope you like what I'm laying out :)

[dreamlogic]

i have no clue what's going on w/ the hiring process for the job offer i got yesterday, but at least it seems like nobody at the post office does either. 🙃

[severefartoholic]

No no officer he wasn't resisting arrest he was just being a tsundere

[alicornpig]

On May 12th last year I received a very special email from Rusty Quill. I got to be part of one of the coolest projects I could ever dream of. And that project was shared with the world a year ago today, August 2nd. I’ve talked a few times about what Trice Forgotten means to me as a queer Asian woman who’s had a lifelong dream of voice acting, and I don’t want to spend too much time getting sappy again. But when I die, if the only voice acting I ever did was Trice, I will die happy. Thank you so much to @zeus-japonicus , the cast, the crew and Rusty Quill for allowing me to tell Anh’s story and I hope that I get to tell more in season 2 💜

[ardate]

sniffs. man. i really want this job :(

[phoenixkaptain]

I want an animated series between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back, but I’d like it to start with a two-parter that takes place just before a New Hope. The series, in my mind, would star Leia, Luke, and Han as the main trio, of course, but with side appearances from characters like Rex and Ahsoka.

Anyway, series premiere two-parter that follows Rex and Leia. They’re doing something (I am here for funnies not for plot) and Leia does something and Rex just goes “haha, wow, just like General Skywalker used to…” only this happens like five times. Rex, by the end of part one, is like “…is this a miniature General Skywalker?”

And, in episode two, he’s like “no. No! This couldn’t be! General Skywalker didn’t have any kids, he would have been unbearable if he had any kids, and furthermore, Organa is Bail Organa’s kid. She acts like Skywalker, but there’s no relation.” But then, as the episode continues, he just keeps getting more evidence to the contrary. Like, she’s adopted, her birth mother died in childbirth, the only thing she knows about her birth father is that he was, at some point, a pilot, Bail Organa was Padme’s friend, etc, etc. But Rex is still like “There’s no way. It’s impossible.” Because he’s holding out hope that Anakin Skywalker did not manage to procreate.

But then, big finale moment, there’s some big fight and he watches Leia closely and sees her turn into just the coldest person as her whole face goes from warm and comforting to absolutely livid. They’re losing the fight and there’s nothing she can do, and Rex recognizes that expression because it’s more than just the same as Anakin’s, the motives behind it are the same and the feelings she has of hopelessness and anger and a craving to run out and carve through literally everyone who dares cross her path is all just like Anakin.

And the episode ends with Leia and Rex and a few others escaping. All the while, on her ship, Leia mutters about what she could have done better, never the sins of the soldiers, only her own issues and the episode ends with Rex realizing that it’s not impossible for her to be Skywalker’s blood kid, it’s impossible for her to be anyone else’s blood kid.

Episode two starts a few weeks later (Rex went on a vague mission, okay, he wasn’t here for a bit) and he’s finally come to terms with Leia being related to Anakin “I’m Going To Run Into Danger” Skywalker. He comes back amidst the excitement of the Death Star blowing up. Leia is there to greet him (she doesn’t know why this particular Clone War vet has started trying to talk her out of danger, but she likes him) and she’s unusually cheerful, even for the Death Star blowing up and Rex is immediately on edge.

Leia is like “I’m glad you’re back, there’s someone you should meet.” And it’s very ominous and only made more so by how wide she’s smiling. But Rex has never been able to say no to her, so he follows her to the mess hall or somewhere and he notices that there’s a big group of people around one specific table and he is filling with dread.

Leia calls out: “Hey, Luke!”

Rex watches as a blond boy in the middle of it all looks over automatically. A blond boy who is almost the spitting image of Anakin Skywalker and whose likeness to Anakin does not lessen as he comes over. Leia smiles at him, fond, then tells Rex, “This is Luke Skywalker. His father was a general in the Clone Wars. He was wondering if you knew anything about him- oh, and also, he is the one who blew up the Death Star.”

Luke: waves

Rex: “…I just remembered I have to go do something I’ll get right back to you on all this I’ll be right back I’ve just got to be gone for one moment-“

And the rest of the season is Rex coming to terms with the fact that there are TWO miniature General Sywalkers running around

[aesrot]

lua have you heard of @mysteryfleshpit? its a cool gore-horror thingy i think youd like :3

I HAVE NOT ??!!!??!!1?/1

IM. THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL HELLO??????? oh im gonna be very silly abt this mmmmmmmmm

oh they should make an audio drama abt this. or a game. or anything ough found footage would work sooooo well with this

EDIT: THERE IS FOUND FOOTAGE ABT THIS ON YOUTUBE GRRR

[bloodystray]

feeling normal

[way2gosuperrstarr]

who wants to take one for the team and make freddy fazbear's mega pizzaplex a real thing

[shwinlsol]

read my tags, lovely followers. I accidentally wrote a funny idea in there instead of here and I'm too lazy to copy it all down 👍 many thanks

anyways who wants to see a funny TF2 band au sometime in the vaguely near future

[alastor-simp]

Alastor x Reader - Sleeping On His Lap

Here is my attempt at a Alastor x reader fanfiction. Took me awhile to kinda get into his character so please don't be mad if Alastor seems a bit off. Enjoy!

Sigh, it was another eventful day at the Happy Hotel, or Hazbin Hotel as it was now called as a certain deer demon decided to change the name. You had spent all day doing certain tasks around the hotel such as helping Charlie create posters for the hotel, clean the rooms with Nifty, break up the brawl between Vaggie and Angel Dust as he had pissed her off one too many times and organize the bar for Husk as he was passed out drunk. You could have refused to do these things, but you enjoyed helping people, so it made it all worth it.

You had started working at the hotel after you had saw Charlie singing on the 666 news about the hotel and redeeming demons, only for her idea to be made a laughing stock upon everyone who watched the broadcast. You actually had mixed feelings about the whole redeeming thing, seeing as you weren't sure if someone like you could be sent to heaven, despite not being a very big criminal during your time when you were alive, but apparently doing a little shoplifting is enough to send you a one way ticket to hell. Charlie's words did inspire you a little bit, so even if you felt that you couldn't be redeemed, others probably had a better chance, so you decided to head to the hotel and ask for a job after the broadcast was cut off from the brawl with Charlie and Katie Killjoy. You were hired in a split second and immediately pulled into a bear hug by Charlie, and then introduced you to the others.

Back to the present, you began to feel extremely exhausted from moving around everywhere, so you headed over to one of the rooms with the long couches so you could take a rest. Heading into one of the rooms, you peeped around and saw that no one was there, which made it better as you really needed some peace and quiet. Heaving a deep sigh, you sat down on the couch, turning and falling back, as you laid your body down, with your head facing the front of the couch. "What a long day", thinking to yourself as your eyes slowly began to close and you were lulled into a deep sleep.

**2 Hours Later**

As you were sleeping, you felt the sensation of someone petting your head, the soothing feeling had awoken you a bit, but you quickly fell back asleep at the warm touch. You could feel that you were holding something in your dreams, and you assumed it was one of the pillows on the couch, so you brought it closer to your face and nuzzled it. "Mm, smells nice ", as the scent from the pillow was making you more relaxed, as it reminded you of a being in the middle of a deep forest. After sleeping for 30 more minutes, you slowly began to open your eyes, and try to make out what was in front of you. Expecting to see a pillow, you saw red stripes in front of you, "Huh?" As you were still trying to make out what was in front of you, a loud voice interrupted your thoughts: "Ah, awake now are we?", said a static voice above you. Eyes opening wide, you looked up from your position and saw Alastor staring down at you with his trademark smile. Slowly, you began to piece together that you were laying on his lap, and nuzzled into his chest as you were sleeping. "AHHHH", jumping up from your position, you rolled off his lap, and your body fell to the ground as you stared at Alastor in shock, as he continued to look at you with his glowing eyes, amused at your reaction. "Um, h-how long was I sleeping on your lap?", you softly asked, as your face was red, but your eyes were showing fear, as you remembered that Alastor did not like to be touch, and you happened to hug him in your sleep. "HAHA, For quite a while, darling. It was a very busy day, I assume?", Alastor said as he placed his arm on the armrest of the couch, and his hand against his cheek, smiling even wider.

Nodding your head, you slowly got up from your position, and started apologizing to Alastor, eyes aiming towards the ground and fingers twiddling together. Alastor raised an eyebrow and wondered why you were apologizing, to which you answered that you had hugged him in your sleep, and that he made it very aware that he did not enjoy physical contact from someone unless he initiated it, feeling extremely bad if you made him uncomfortable. Listening to you, Alastor's smile relaxed to a small grin as he looked at you with gentle eyes. He did admit that he was not use to being touch by others, and was quite surprised from the sleep hug, but he didn't detest it as much coming from you, which boggled his mind completely. It must be due to your kind and innocent nature that made him react different around you, as he was used to more of the common riff raff being terrified of him or trying to battle in a turf war, but how you were with him, made his black heart melt.

Feeling that Alastor was upset as he didn't respond to your apology, you quickly excused yourself and began to head over to the door to leave. A loud SNAP was heard and before you knew it, you had been teleported back on to the couch, this time being seated on Alastors lap. "A-Al, what are you doing?!", your face began to become as red as his hair, while your eyes stared at Alastor in shock. Smiling at you, Alastor moved his hand to your chin and tilted your face up: "There is no need to apologize, darling. If I had been upset about you hugging me, you possibly w̩͉͍̱̍̂̉̊o̫̼̐̎̋͜u͚͌l̳̓d̠͉̗͋̔͞'̼̳̣̼͊̏̾̾t͜͝ ͕̱͐͠ḇ̅e̙͗ ͍͓͔̱͍͛̔͌͘͞a̝̜̘̎́͒ḽ͒í̱̙̈́v̧̌e̠͠ ̢̹̜́́̈̀ͅr̲͇̳̅̽͌i̩͈̒̅ĝ̲̦̎ẖ̛̳̲͙̀͌̽͘ͅt͉̅ ͖̞͍̞́̋͛͛ň͚̫̦́͂̿͟o̱͌w̡̕" he said, as his eyes flashed for a second into radio dials. "However! I am not opposed to be touched by you. So no need to apologize, my dear.", Alastor said as he continued to smile at you widely, but his glowing eyes were looking at you softly, letting you know that he was not angry with you. Feeling shy, you turned your head away from Alastor, muttering a soft okay, as your heart was beating rapidly. "Smile my dear!" Alastor said as he moved his hand from your chin to your cheek, to have you look at him again. Baring through the embarrassing situation, you gave Al a small smile, which pleased him. "You always over do it, darling. While Charlie and I appreciate your efforts at helping the hotel, it does no good to work yourself to the point of fatigue. If you are ever feeling exhausted and need a break, don't be hesitant to come find me, as my radio tower is open to you. Understand, my dear?" said Alastor, as he leaned closer towards you, making you flustered again.

Nodding your head was enough to let Alastor knew you understood as he chuckled, while sliding you off his lap, and as he stood up from the couch. "Now then, we should probably head back to the lobby before the others get worried about our lack of presence.", He said, as he straighten his coat out, while turning towards you, extending his hand out for you to take it. "Yeah we should", as you grabbed his hand, and made your way with him back to the lobby. You were still trying to process what just happened between you and Alastor, but you feel like you both have become much closer then before, and you didn't mind it one bit.

[meow-moment]

i bet if walter white had tumblr hed be like "i am the one who blogs haha"

4 notes

🔮 purple-queen Follow

just got a beautiful ring from the store, can't wait to show it off here!

#my purchases #marie speaks

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🌶️ capncook

finally scored a new job can i get a hell yeah. back to making stacks dawg

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🪨 hankschrader4 🔁 flynwyte Follow

🏎️ flynwyte Follow

HELP A DISABLED TEEN'S FATHER AFFORD CANCER TREATMENT!

I didn't want to have to make this post, but deadlines are closing in and I don't have many options left.

My name is Walter White Junior, and my father was recently diagnosed with cancer. He's been battling for a few months now, and he wants us not to worry about him, but he can't keep pulling money out of nowhere. I've done the math, and I've estimated that he needs $12k to afford all the treatment he needs.

Any donations are appreciated! You can donate directly at my website, or donate on p@yp@l, under the username flynwyte.

407/12,000

(do not tag as donation!)

#donation

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👨🏾‍💼 gustavo-fring

I am pleased to announce that we have finally hired a new social media intern.

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yo yo yo whaddup chicken lovas!!! were bringin back the 2-for-1 honey mustard wings combo, with that signature taste you cant help but love! get it today, bitches!

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🔮 purple-queen Follow

okay, you know what? No. I'm sick of this. Kleptomania is a valid mental disorder, and if i have to explain to you why, then i will.

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#marie speaks #rant

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🌶️ capncook

bored on the job man its got me thinkin...

#vent post #delete later

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i can't say shit around my grandpa bro. i make a comment about the lakers one time and its 😤🛎️🛎️🛎️😤🛎️🛎️😤😤🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️ im fuckin SICK OF IT!!

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🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow

i miss her so much man...

#vent post #delete later

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🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow

We would like to apologize for our social media intern's mistake. As a token of our apology, we are offering a 10% discount on any chicken order if you mention this post. Have a finger-lickin' day!

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I am the one who blogs haha

#heisenposting

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😺 meow-moment

Who said that

[ceramicbird]

everyday. the musescore app continues to be bad