#haha ‘one thing about me’ *leaving
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i went to target with a friend curious if they had the dog-thing yet and instead found that there is a third macready figure that i did not know about. i did get him btw
#the unbridled shock and joy i felt upon seeing him OUHHHH had my losing my mind#i did pre-order the dog figure bc im <3 silly but i was searching for it in stores cause i wanted to know what the box looked like#very thing-filled weekend. friday i saw the thing in theatres with a friend bc a local theatre shows horror movies in october#and also got a custom thing poster made by an artist who makes posters for the horror movies they show. its so fucking cool#one thing about me. i will always drop money on thing merch#haha ‘one thing about me’ *leaving#radio transmissions
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Everything is very horrible today in an autistic meltdown kinda way so either I'll pop off and draw a lot or lay face down in bed doing nothing for several hours we'll just have to see
#the worst thing is its not just any one thing#its a build up of terrible terrible terrible#and when i do fibally get set off it seems like its over smthn really fuckinf stupid#RAGHHH#i will explain actually cause most of it woild piss anyone off#my whole family is off of school/work today except me#my siblings went to the movies#i had to go to work and work was fuxking SLAMMED#so i had a pretty shitty day already work wise#then i learn like an hour before i leave that i have to pick up my siblings#in the rain#in the dark#and also two othee peoplw are gonna be there so my car will be litetally full#and its in the busiest part of town#AND i have to pick up dinner beforehand#so that combined with evweything elae aboit today was already upsettint#and then the coworker i dont fucking like started fuckung around with smthn#not doing his aork#which is why i dont like him cause he never gets anything done#so that was sort of the last straw ig#anyway my manaher was bejng really nice befoee i left cause i was obviously upsey#but i was like ' listen i am literally about to have a meltdown so i have to go i cant do this rn '#i feel bad about it#but whats worse briefly inconviencing my manager or having a whole fucking meltdown in frojt of everyone#muppets ref ha#anyway#i just wish my parents respected me#even a little bit#cause they sure fucking dont#not me nor my time haha!
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
309 notes
·
View notes
Text
me the absolute first split second people are acting up in the shop
#yes unfortunately we have to have a blacklist at this point of people not allowed to order anymore#this was actually *more* of an issue back in the day when i was selling handmade crocheted plushies lol#but like explain to me why this has happened with more than one person at this point:#they buy something#then a week or two later they email us/post/leave a review saying how much they hate it and we suck and that they want to return it#then they never send the thing back#continue to go on about how mad they are about it#still never send it back#then they TRY TO BUY ANOTHER THING????#what is that about#was it just wanting the first thing for free? like trying to bully us into letting you keep it for free??? i don't get it#if you hate it so much why would you order again ????????#anyway#do this and your order will 100% be canceled#pls never return#thankfully this only applies to like 3 people currently haha#vs the dozen person long etsy blacklist i had for plushies#lots of people wanted them for free or at least i suspect that was what was going on.... it was the wild west out there#exhausting
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
OC OTP. Just a prince (Ego, the ginger) and his wonderful energy alien fiance (Serenity) who he doesn't know is an energy alien. Ego also doesn't know that the future marriage is never going to happen and he's been lied to his whole life.
#my characters#mentioned them to a buddy recently and was like well dang that means i gotta draw them again ig#i love them so much and they have so many AUs#which is actually why i started to mention them LMAO#they reblogged a post from me and were like oh oh new au just dropped#and i was like haha funny thing - that post was reblogged bc it reminded me of an au i had for ego and serenity#and they were like wait you gotta spill the deets now#aaaaanyway serenity is an energy alien and his race doesnt really have a physical form usually!#but he has the ability to form a shell in a sense to look like a body and he begs his alien king#to let him remain on earth until his power is too weak to hold a human form#bc he is so in love with the lie (that HE knows is a lie) of being married to ego and wants to hold onto it as long as possible#while ego is just vibing in his own kingdom unable to leave the castle#bc his dad knows if he mentions his fiance - serenity whomst he thinks is another prince - no one will know who it is#so to shelter the lie ego is unable to travel#and so one of his favorite things when serenity visits is to ask him to tell about other places#and at first ego is a brat and says hed rather be exiled than have to marry another prince#but he does over time fall in love and feels super happy being around serenity while breaking serenitys heart#bc he knows it wont last rip#and eventually serenity does use up all of his power and cant hold a physical form anymore#and so he goes home to his alien life#but ego demands to visit him and does and then is like oh well if you dont have a human form then just visit me like this!#and so serenity tries his best to rebuilt energy so that one day he can visit as a human again#and he does the end
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
Most Sherlock Holmes adaptations I've seen tend to place their Final Problem towards the mid point of the series (or even a bit earlier) - it's also in my opinion the best way of going about it, so you have time enough for the characters to adjust after the reunion but they know each other well enough for the events of Fina to be devastating.
Sherlock & Co is done with 20 of the adventures. How many are there? Fifty-something? Almost sixty? Let's say we'll be entering mid-point territory after the 25th story.
So let's pretend for a moment that we have 5 more stories until The Final Problem. Ok.
Estimating an adventure at 3 episodes each, that would mean little over 3 months - maybe 3 and a half? Starting, of course, from the end of Sign of Four, which will be somewhere in December.
So let's say 3, maybe 4 months into 2025. That would be, what? Late march, early april?
Early april?
John having to tell the listeners that Sherlock is dead, in early april?
Quick calendar search reveals what I was praying it would - the 1st of april will be on a Tuesday next year.
So what I'm saying
What I'm saying is Sherlock &Co has the opportunity to do the funniest fucking thing
#fyi I don't mean John pranks us about Sherlock dying#i mean it's just the first Tuesday after sherlock “dies” so that's just when he happens to tell the listeners#maybe he's not even aware of the date#and is surprised to see the reactions are less “oh my god oh no” and more “haha good one” or “funny but actually don't joke about that”#ahhh and then he'd have to double down either on the 2nd or next Tuesday and explain again that his best friend is actually dead#oh that would hurt but it would also be absolutely hilarious#for us who know Sherlock's not actually dead#anywayy#for the record i don't actually think they'll do fina as early as april#(but wouldn't it be funny)#They might do it at the actual midpoint#after the 29th story so let's say june/ july#Hoping they don't place it too late cuz then we won't have enough time to see how it affects all of them#Even if it's around the 3/4 point i think I'd be a bit bummed#Also midpoint is a good place to take a break#Of course fear nr 1 is leaving it for the very end and making empt the last episode#and the reason why the podcast ends is “look what happened if it wasn't for the podcast maybe Moriarty wouldn't have noticed Sherlock”#Like a “it's becoming too dangerous” thing#but that's the evil timeline (not us!!!)#Honestly if it were me I'd make fina the midpoint.... then hiatus...... return...... second half......#and then get another big dangerous villain for the last few eps#Maybe one of them (sherlock) almost gets killed (again) and that's why john decides that#it's been swell but we're ending the podcast cause apparently we're putting (too big of) a target on our backs#Almost lost sherlock again the risks outweigh the benefits etc etc#Of course they'll keep solving crimes together just stop broadcasting them to the world#And that's how I'd do it! :D#God i can't be trusted with tags#If you read this far I love you#sherlock & co#theories
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
i miss carpisuns sometimes </3
#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom#s3 was soooo much fun for me#and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasn’t ready for it to end when it did haha#things just feel so different in the fandom now#both the fandom has changed and I have changed#and of course the STORY has changed#and I like don’t know what to do about that or how to react#cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending ml’s honor with my life lol#committed to spreading positivity#and I still want to be that guy!#but it’s like. idk. I don’t recognize this story anymore#this isn’t the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I don’t want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters#and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing#that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also don’t just want to shut up and pretend I’m happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol#like it’s honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining#and really. I don’t WANT to rain on anyone’s parade. I honestly don’t#I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I don’t want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like I’m going a little crazy lmao! like I’m just one bitter little miser fhdjjd#i mean i guess it’s kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol#cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it 😂#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter#I mean it’s valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha#but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter#or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction#is that too much nuance for tumblr lol#see maybe that’s why I miss carpisuns. she didn’t have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the irony…like marinette I have made this choice out of love…for what the story once was…what is to become of me now…
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
I really love hope is a thing with feathers and I also really LOVE the hope as a sewer rat poem too but I wish it was not explicity written as "well actually" against Dickinson asgvsjnk. The imagery is SO GOOD but this whole vibe of "my metaphor is better than your metaphor" kinda sours it for me
#i dont like the patronizing usage of ''Emily'' like theyre explaining something to a child#admittedly dickinson has been dead for over a century so its probably huge deal to talk about her flippantly in terms of poetry#this is just me personally. how i feel about it#i dont like her being namedropped like that#it has this energy of ''haha lemme school this bitch''#when the poem itself was never supposed to see the light of day. she never consented to it being published. girl was 5 years in the grave#it feels like making fun of somebodys diary#i also dont like how it kinda makes fun of dickinson's imagery of hope as something ''beautiful delicate'' thing#i always interpreted as it is told. a little bird. i pictured a fat fluffy thing like the ones i see outside my window#ive known them to be stubborn and mischivious#when we leave out seeds on the lawn the little ones are always bullied away by the crows and magpies#but they keep trying. theyll attempt to sneak over and peck away before the crows notice them#they ARE optimistic and resilient little things. tougher than they look#so i always found the metaphor apt#sewer rat also fits just as well. but i think it depends on the angle from how youre looking at it#so i dont like this vibe of ''it should be more RAW it should be UGLIER'' cuz even tho i love that style of writing#it just feels like unnecessary one-upping here#especially considering dickinson was severely depressed and tons of her poems reflect it#god forbid she dabble around with the occasional light hearted poem about seeing hope as a silly little bird#asgsjsnk sorry im not trying to make a statement or anything. ill delete this later probably
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi, I sent an ask like 5 minutes ago but I'm not sure if it went through for certain reasons so if it did just ignore that,
I love your fic so much. One of my favourite things is the authors note, I love hearing your rambles and thought processes behind certain scenes,
And JEE💖💖
The jee lovers in the fandom are small but dedicated, I love that man.
Any situation of an older man reluctantly and unknowingly adopting a child they hate and growing soft for them I love, I could ramble on for hours about certain headcanons I have regarding jee and zuko for hours, I need more of them (AND HIM AND BATO (please don't kill them i need AT LEAST 1 queer couple to be happy in this fic🙏🙏))
Also another thing, I do fanart and I really want to do art for this fic but I have no idea which scene to do, is there any specific ones you would want art of?
HI HI HI HI HIIII!!
I didn’t get your five minute ago ask but I got this one!! ahhhhhh my shameful authors notes haha I am very unhinged in there, I think I black out and rub my face in the keyboard honestly.
JEE LOVERS UNITED WE STAND!!!! I adore his dislike of both zuko & sokka in the beginning and now he’s falling hard for sokkas uncle and has pretty much said if anything happens to these kids I’ll burn this bitch to the ground. Unfortunately, Jees situation is going to get a bit more complicated he just doesn’t realize it yet haha.
THERE IS A HAPPY QUEER COUPLE! *gestures at liab zuko* I mean they’re happy like…. some of the time haha. Ok ok I see your point but no promises because you know when I start blowing shit up in liab I can get a little crazy :D mwahahaha.
FAN ART FOR ME?!1?27,771!37/&/ YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME FERAL!!! ahhhhh honestly idk how to pick scenes im so bad at it i dont know what to choose but if you did wanna draw any scenes maybe any from ITF? Your fave or ones scenes you liked idk that’s my suggestion lol.
thanks for this amazing ask you’re a beautiful human thank you!
#I’m excited to unleash next chapter haha#I changed a few details and it shifted the plot to match more of the vibe I want#Wasn’t sure how to pull it off but lying in bed one night I was like LE GASP I GOT IT!! & ran to my notebook and wrote it down#Yes I keep a note book by my bed#and forty cups of water what about it??#Anywayyyy this was such a fun ask and I honestly think we could fill a decent sized bus for the Jee fan club#He’s got lots of fans but I think some like him in certain situations others don’t so the fan hood isn’t jee united#Which is fine different strokes for different folks#But I love writing grumpy Jee haha and him next to hostile sokka and glaring growling zuko was fun#Now zukka is smiling and laughing and things are going along so swimmingly#HOPE NOTHING BAD HAPPENS#THAT WOULD BE A SHAME#;);););;)#:D#im sorry I’m such an asshole I can’t help it#Your ask made me smile thanks for sending it#& if you pick a scene to draw I’ll stare at it forever I promise#I can’t wait!!! But no pressure because it’s about having fun lol#Ok thanks again sorry for being so wild#Dixongravesart#leaving it all behind#liab#itf#ask
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just feel like. i'm happy with my own company or i have very high standards for relationships with people because i don't like anyone and people piss me off very quickly and i let go of them soooo easily it doesn't even matter to me
#or maybe. the real thing is that i don't form deep connections that are hard to let go#and i don't put myself out there or be vulnerable because i don't think anyone will get it so im just very superficial while talking#or too scared#so even if they leave it wouldn't matter to me#wow!!!! nice#i think i've become so detached from feelings idk#buttttt. i used to be the one who cares. i don't give a fuck about anyone anymore i've become so cold hearted what's wrong with me#and one more thing#i've always been the person who avoids conflict so i don't lose people#and now... well#maybe i find it hard to connect with people#or maybe i'm just an asshole haha who knows#or maybe i just fall out of love with people#or maybe it's because i haven't had real relationships in my proximity since covid#so in my head nothing is real#omg i've become such an out of sight out of mind person i'm a toddler#i used to pray for this when i was too attached
8 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Wouldn’t want him getting lost now, would we (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#ZEX#The Captain#DAX#Me quietly while watching Muppet Treasure Island: Don't | My brain: Haha anyway- ♪#I don't even have to reread! My brain just does this nonsense! It's still Right There at the forefront of my mind#At this rate I'll have to go pick up Treasure Island from the library *shakes fist* Stevensonnnnnnnnnnn#I will admit that the itch to reread has been growing but mmmmn I've got fics to vet for printing! And that one's technically unfinished!#I mean I might break soon lol but mmmmnnnnn!#Same thing when I was in a Treasure Planet mood years(?! how has it been that long and I still haven't rewatched!) ago#Anyway yes these were inspired by rewatching Muppet Treasure Island lol - it's just one interpretation after the other!#If you happen to go seeking out Professional Pirate you might recognize the second shot as when Jim has been kidnapped by the pirates#I kinda just interpolated from there lol#Same vibe as the set I made a while ago of ZEX piercing the Captain - there's just Something So about ZEX leaving a mark on him!#Not directly altering him (at least more than skin-deep haha) but decorating him! Dressing him up! There's Something about that#Like a living museum - how much does ZEX project onto the Captain? There's a lot of weird vibes around them <3#He wants A Human and he has His Human but hmmm ♪#Well for the time being that's his only human - and seeing as he's collared but without a leash in the last one he's not running away!#It's progress haha#Hhhh drawing the Captain in pirate garb really is one of my favourites <3 I had so much fun the first times around and it's still fun!#His hair is for some reason I cannot explain easier to draw in this setting - there is no explanation I can think of but it is! Why fight it#ZEX is also very fun to draw in pirate gear haha ♫ I really think it's one of his handsomest interpretations#I always think he's pretty! But something about the pirate aesthetic adds to his masculinity? :0#He's still a swishy pirate hehe ♥ Maybe it's the open chest on his tunic haha I just think he's very handsome!
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
He's catching me up on the characters and story arcs
artfight attack of Ugly Finder (featuring Daydream) for @bananasmores
#artfight#mlp#oc pony#one of my favorite things I drew this year both for artistic and sentimental reasons#the concept of this one is he's telling me all about baseball cause I don't follow sports#we're catching a game in Horseton#I'm learning so much!#(I actually have been to several baseball games in real life)#(my dad is a huge Angels fan and he took us to games sometimes when I was a kid)#(but it was a long time ago haha)#(I have fond memories of nachos and of these huge moths that seemed to congregate at the stadium)#ANYWAY I spent more time on this one than on anything else I drew this year#cause I wanted to have a whole crowd of ponies watching the game with us#appleshy is there of course cause we both love them#the guy next to us with the heart cutie mark thinks the purple guy in front of him is really pretty#someone is having a little too much to drink#the kids in the front are really excited about a cool play that just happened#they are making a big mess with peanuts#the Manehattan fan in the lower left is wondering if he should leave early#art
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm just figuring out how important music is in my life! This is coming from a long while trying to cut down on my music use, mostly because I was listening to it so much that it felt more like I couldn't do anything without popping in some earbuds, and partially because of other personal reasons. Some of my routines changed, forcing me to not listen to music while doing certain things, and it ended up becoming that besides working on homework or drawing, I didn't listen to music at all. But I've given myself a break today since I have nothing to do and since, for reasons, I'm feeling just a lil crappy today—and boy, I'm starting to realize again just why I love music!!
I love the diverse music taste I've developed over the years! My family is not only big about music but big about listening to it loud, so the majority of my music taste for most of my life has just been Christian hiphop (Lecrae, KB, Andy Mineo, Trip Lee, and ironically Tonex, whose album where he was struggling hard with his gayness has been my favorite concert movie since I was 5) and gospel music (Kirk Franklin, Tye Tribbett, etc.). And music was one of the few connections between me and my race (I grew up feeling pretty estranged from my blackness as a kid, but the popular songs they played at the YMCA in the 2010s were some of the few things I could use to feel more connected) and between me and my classmates/friends at the Y (I still have fond memories of playing FNAF songs in mat forts and reciting lyrics at pool parties). But I got tired of knowing I could never bond with anyone besides family friends music taste-wise when I was in high school, and so I started listening to secular music on my own time. And that's how I first found Ghost and Pals, a vocaloid artist and one of the first secular music folks I listened to as a kid (can you smell the religious trauma yet? Lol), and that's how I bonded with one of my best friends in early college (ironically, also my first time being publically queer). Now I listen to Kpop, anime songs, songs from warriors MAPs, songs from musicals (Hamilton and In the Heights <3), latin songs, metal songs, and even some secular songs young me would've been too scared to listen to.
And music has always been one of my biggest sources of stimming! I can't dance to save my life, but music will sure get me to flick my fingers and hit my fist against my shoulder furiously. Music was one of the first clues that I like stimming with vibration too (since I love laying against the car door and turning up the music loud enough to feel the world shake around me). And music was one of the first things that made me look into ADHD or autism (specifically, listening to Ghost and Pals songs for a month straight and getting my friend at early college [who also has ADHD] to start looking at me funny when I was discovered doing chores and listening to one of three songs for the fifth time). Music is so cool it'll get me to wax poetically. It was one of the things that kept me together during my roughest times and soothed me during my best. I listen to it while I write, while I cry, while I hang out with my friends and family and while I chill by myself. It's how I relax after a long day, and it's how I feel safe. I feel kinda emotional finally having music hit that spot in me without feeling like I need it to do stuff.
#songs listened to while writing this post:#Tell Your Girlfriend by Lay Bankz#Get Up (Live) by Tye Tribbett#the Oshi no Ko OP song for season 1 (by Yoasobi) - which I ironically found before getting into Oshi no Ko#Waterfalls Coming Out Your Mouth by Glass Animals#Como Fue by 116#Creator (a Minecraft song I picked up from my college friend J)#The Ultimate Soldier (Evangelion)#Reckless Battery Burns by Ghost and Pals#Uncanny x Deathbody remix by Ghost and Pals#Watch Me Work (Trolls 3)#Mount Rageous (Trolls 3)#Better Place (Trolls 3)#Hayloft 2 by Mother Mother#Hayloft 2 Smashup by Mother Mother#Don't You Worry About a Thing (the Sing movie)#Mama by My Chemical Romance (found through a warriors MAP [yes the one you're thinking of])#Gossip by Måneskin#Looking at my playlists getting more and more secular songs feels like healing#but I also love that I can still listen to gospel hiphop or gospel music without feeling ashamed or (completely) embarrassed#(except for Bizzle but that was always more of my dad's music taste anyway)#also yes I have tinnitus how could you guess? Haha but for real it feels like an okay sacrifice to me (more like a battle wound for loving#music so much - but everyone else please use ear protection if you can! Tinnitus doesn't bother me too much but it could you!)#fenn rambles#gonna use this tag for my favorite rants and rambles that I'm most proud of hehe#(also this is an excuse to not leave some non-alterhuman-themed or non-neopronouns-themed stuff untagged >:3)#music#(also I went to a KB concert recently and it was HYPE)#(and I went to Winter Jam in Mobile and it was legitimately one of the best concert experiences in my life - Lecrae >>>>#love his new album hehehe)
11 notes
·
View notes